posted on 24-Mar-2002 3:08:34 PM by Allie1031
| This is the fic that previously appeared under tha name of ShEErAmbIVaLeNCe
Title: What Dreams May Come
Author: Myself
Rating: Will be NC-17 eventually I imagine
Summary: This is darker fic in the begininng but it will lighten up. Liz has been taken prisoner, she needs to be rescued, you'll have to read it to find out more, I don't want to give it away yet.
Author's note: Although many of you may recognize the title as a feature film a few years back, it was orginated from Shakespeare. I obviously am not Shakespeare and do not own the shakespear quote, nor do I own a good portion of these characters. Feeadback is always encouraged and always appreciated.
To be, or not to be ... that is the question.
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take up arms against a sea of troubles - and by opposing them end them?
To die... To sleep... no more...
And by a sleep to say we end the heartache, and the thousand natural shocks that flesh is heir to..
Tis a consummation devoutly to be wished!
To die... To sleep...
To sleep? Perchance to dream!
Ay there's the rub! For in that sleep of death what dreams may come when we have shuffled off this mortal coil, must give us pause...
- Hamlet's speech upon contemplating suicide
PROLOGUE
Part One
There are not a lot of things that I am certain about anymore.
I don't know what day it is, what year it is, or even what month it is, for that matter, let alone how long I have been here. I don't know that time actually exists anymore, it all seems to flow together into one big mass of my existence. I am almost positive, though, that I do indeed exist.
I haven't the faintest idea of where I am or how I came to be here, at this exact location in the time-space plane. I have not seen the outside of this enclosure in a very long time. I am fairly sure, however, that here is nowhere on earth. It's just this internal feeling that I have.
I cannot tell you who my captors are, why they have brought me here. I just know that I am a prisoner.
I carry no memory of ever actually being taken, but I believe that it must have happened at some point because I wasn't always here. I share memories of a lifetime that existed before this bleak abyss.
Some days I think that I am crazy, that this is my imagination. Better still, I convince myself that this is a dream, and that I will wake up shortly and be at home again.
The only reality I know of is the one that I create for myself.
How, then, can I distinguish between fantasy and reality? From what I know and don?t know?
Confidence fails me often.
One thing I will never doubt, though, that I cannot allow myself to doubt lest my existence become lost, is who I am.
I am Liz Parker.
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PROLOGUE
Part Two
Every morning I wake and find food has been brought to my incarceration during my slumber. It?s not really morning, though. It's just a period of time shortly following a period of time I have spent sleeping. I imagine that sometimes morning happen twice, maybe three times a day, that is, within what a day used to be to me.
The food is never anything special. Just basic nutrients for me to live by. It all tastes the same, becomes the same, is the same to me.
I haven't the slightest clue as to how it gets here or who brings it. There are no doors, to my cell, no windows, nothing. Yet every morning, there is food.
Twice, I have tried to stay away to see how this enchantment comes to be.
The first time, I simply feel asleep at my watch.
The second time, however, something unexplainable in my terms of the universe happened. I swear that I was awake the whole time, drowsy but distinctly awake. I had been awake for a very long time. I have no idea how long, just that it was long. One instant there was nothing, and the next it was just there. The food was. I suspected I was foolish, that I had slipped into sleep for just the briefest moment, unbeknownst to myself. But there are times when I am sure that I was awake and that it did just appear.
I can make no plans of escape because there is no way to escape and nowhere to escape to. But I am sickened of being here, nowhere, everywhere, anywhere. I cannot take this any longer. I am becoming more and more insane with the progression of time. Sometimes I feel as if I shall burst if I cannot go free, if I am not released, if no one will answer the endless questions of my mind.
It was at a time like that when I decided that it was time to end this madness, to liberate myself from this forlorn confinement, this desolate isolation. A time like that when I choose not to pursue any past I once had into the future. A time like that when I determined that I would exit my existence.
I simply cannot sustain myself any longer. Any morning I could awaken and not know who I am. Any moment I could doubt that I am Liz Parker. Any time now I could cease to exist anyways. When that morning, that day, or that time comes, I do not want to be.
Am I a coward?
Maybe.
A failure?
Perhaps.
Impatient?
Quite likely.
Exhausted?
Most definitely.
I choose to opt out nobly in a time when I can still recall what I was previously living for. I choose to depart with dignity in an era while I can still claim my sanity.
At first I thought that I could simply starve myself to death. But the ever present temptation of food in the unlimitedly renewable resource that it came eluded me all too easily.
I thought I might hang myself on the clothing that I hadn't worn for a regrettably extensive while. The clothing that was always freshly clean every morning. Disgustingly clean.
I found the problem with this was that I simply had nowhere to hang myself from. Any piece of furniture in my room was invariably bolted to the floor or attached to a wall and the unblemished ceiling loomed far above my head.
I tried to drown myself in the ever flowing fountain, the only source of water in my captivity. Unfortunately, every time I managed to submerse my airways for more than the briefest period of time the fountain simply commence flowing. This became a great source of frustration to me.
Shortly after I begin these fanatical escapades and flirtations with death anything remotely sharp in my constriction magically disappeared by some unknown force and had been replaced with a blunt alternative product or device.
At once I fly into an enraged frenzy, heaving anything mobile, defacing all surfaces, destroying all that I can. Drained, I fall into a sobbing heap in the middle of the floor. For a very long time I lay there in the fetal position, eyes swollen shut, tears staining my dirty face.
For the first time I allowed myself to become engrossed in my world before, immersed in the innocent and naive girl I was.
I think of my family, my parents whom I love so much.
I think of my home, in Roswell, New Mexico, of the house I grew up in, of the Crashdown.
I think of Maria, how much I adore her, how much I admire her, how proud I am of who she was becoming. I thought of how influential she was on my life. I thought of all that we have been through together, good times and bad.
I think of Alex, how much I miss him, how sad I am that we won't grow old together, but how I will cherish his memory until the day I die.
I wonder if they will all miss me and grieve my disappearance as I did his. Will they be as devastated? Oh how I long for the sweet pleasure of death that Alex possesses but I cannot.
Finally I think about Max Evans. Max, my soul mate. Max, whom I passionately care for. Max, my other half. Max, my destiny.
Max, who, in being loved by him, has sent you to this prison my mind screams at me. It does not matter who my jailers are, Max was the judge that handed me this sentence.
When I finally did open my eyes to my drab world once again, I found that everything, every minor detail of the room was restore exactly to the way it was before, the way it is every time I wake, the way it is was the day I first woke here, minus any pointed objects of course.
The room is perfect. Always orderly, always precise.
The temperature, is always just right. The reason behind my lack of effort in dressing myself each morning. Even the water, given my intended use, is exactly at the optimal degree.
The furniture is flawless.
The sleeping quarters unnervingly comfortable.
Everything is clean.
Everything is white.
Since the day I arrived here until the day that I leave, everything will always be perfect. Horribly perfect.
I have never had any hope of being rescued. I will not allow myself such a weakness. For if I don't even know where I am, how can anyone else? How could they find me in this sealed compartment even if they had a faint idea? I could be millions of miles away in another galaxy or buried directly below the exact spot where they are standing.
Rescue is unachievable, escape is futile.
Life is precious, and for a good portion of mine I remember trying to preserve it. Yet, I have found that now that I wish to obliterate it, it has become simply non-disposable.
Every time I go to sleep I will that I won't wake up, but I always do.
I sleep often because my dreams are the only place that I can be free. But it's only false freedom because eventually I have to return to my body, to this nightmare I am living.
Maybe I am not living. Maybe this is hell. Maybe I'm dead.
I could never be so fortunate.
Then, one day, out of the blue, my salvation came to me in a most unexpected form.
I awakened in an unusually bad mood, as I always am to find that I have awakened. I rise to find the new food that has been left.
I stare at it all for a moment in disbelief before I am overcome with sheer joy.
The end has come.
On the table in the middle of the room lays a vast array of fresh fruits and vegetables, not an uncommon occurrence. But there, between the tomatoes and the oranges, for the first time, lays a small but reasonable helping of mushrooms.
All of my life I have been extremely allergic to any kind of mushroom. My only hope now is that this meager serving of this vulgar fungus is enough to truly finish me off.
I rush quickly to the table and speedily gobble up the horrid cuisine that could be my death.
And I wait.
And nothing happens.
Blast this damn, cursed hell and it's artificially simulated nourishment!
But it is real.
As the mushrooms ignite, I begin to convulse, and my entire body catches fire.
I burn and the world spins beneath me.
I crawl to my bed and lay there, awaiting my appending death, my sacred salvation.
Fireworks explode before my eyes, in my head, throughout my body.
I catch one last glimpse of the perfect, white ceiling above me before the world turns black.
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PROLOGUE
Part Three
I've always wondered what dreams may come, after life has expired, of if in fact death is like a dream.
I've heard the stories of near-death experiences of people who were "heading towards the light" or had there entire life flash before their eyes.
I didn't see a great light, and there were no flashes.
I did however find myself in some sort of dream.
It is that day, that infamous day at the Crashdown. I know it at once.
I am me, except at the same time I am not me. I am inside myself, watching myself, but I am not myself. Or at least, I can't make myself do anything. I have to sit inside myself and let things play out the way that fate determined my destiny. It's like someone else is playing me. Someone else is Liz Parker and I'm just along for the ride.
Then it happens, all of the sudden. Even though it has happened before I am not expecting it.
The bullet rips through my tender flesh and I try to breathe. Liz Parker tries to breathe.
Darkness falls over me. I try to keep my eyes open but it is so terribly hard. Liz Parker fights to live.
Then, out of the darkness he comes. My angel, my savior. Max Evans leans over me, the brightness of the world behind him.
Max says something to me, but I cannot hear what he says. He looks worried. I only smile, for I know that the end is near.
Max Evans looks into my eyes and places a hand on my stomach where the wound has ripped me.
I feel something strange, something foreign, something non-human begin to coarse through me. My entire being tingles.
I see things, visions of things, indescribable things. Things that I have never seen before, celestial bodies, space. I see fear. I see frustration. I see hope. I see love.
I am alive. Max Evans kneels over me and I am alive. Liz Parker is alive.
I open my eyes. I am in a strange place. It is not my previous prison, but a new different prison.
But there are colors.
The walls are a pale yellow.
But They no longer produce the familiar alive hum and exuding illumination.
Light comes from above, a single globe in the center of the room.
It comes to my attention that I am alive. It seems.
My previous actions rush back to me and I am filed with hopeless despair.
The nightmare continues.
I sit up.
My body feels strange, foreign. Different.
Movement seems surreal.
How am I alive?
I died.
I felt death.
I died.
Is this a dream? A part of death?
No. I feels too real.
This cell is different. There are many things here that would have been absurd in the last.
Color.
A door.
Clothing is laid out on top of a storage unit across the room. It is real clothing. Not a white paper gown like there was in the last prison.
I get up and walk over to it.
It is a grayish jumpsuit. But it is not white. And it is real cloth. A thick cotton/spandex, except far more durable.
I pull it on and zip it up to slightly above my breasts.
I pick up a belt and thread it through the loops of the suit.
It is not an ordinary belt, I can tell immediately.
There are buttons on it. And little compartments. None of which will engage in my curiosity.
I push a button and a drawer of the storage unit pops open. Inside I find a flat slab. I press buttons to other drawers but none of them open.
I take my slab, a perfect black square shape, smooth surface, about a centimeter thick.
I take my slab over to the door. Or what I assume is a door. No handle. A passageway perchance.
I take my slab and I pound it into the cracks around the edges, producing a loud, ringing, echoing clang of the clash between my slab and the metal door.
"Stop," An omnipresent booming voice bellows through my cell at me, scaring me out of my wits. "Ms. Parker, please calmly have a seat. A Negotiator will be with you shortly."
I try to locate the source of this Big Brother of mine but I cannot. I reluctantly take a seat at the table in the center of the room. There are only two chairs, and I take the one opposite form the door.
I sit, watching the door, waiting for this "Negotiator" to make an appearance.
It is not long before, true to the word of the voice, the door open.
A middle-aged, short, stocky, balding, dark haired man enters the room. The Negotiator is a Jason Alexander look alike? Not an exact match but close.
I lean back in my seat, unfazed that this is the first other life form I have seen in God know how long. I?ve been through to much to be.
"You guys get cable out here?" I jest. "Ever seen Seinfeld? Of course, that was just network television..."
My humor hides the apprehension I won't allow myself to feel.
The Negotiator ignores my comment
"Ms. Parker," the Negotiator says with a smile, holding out a hand. "Pleased to finally meet you. I've been studying you case for quite a while."
"I bet," I mutter, shaking his hand.
"I am your Negotiator. You may me Tarenk. How are you feeling?" He asks.
"How do you expect me to feel? I was just dead. I'm confident of it. Except now for some reason I'm still alive. Ever heard of resting in peace?" I retort.
"Ms. Parker the Emperor felt it was in the best interest of the Antarian Alliance if you remained living," Tarenk replies. "We had another body fashioned for you shortly after you died."
"I suspected that asshole Khivar was behind all this. Wait! What?! You fashioned a body? What the hell does that mean," I shout at the bald man.
I'm angry. I can't help it.
"It was imperatively within the Emperor's wishes that you be kept alive. The failure of the Department to do so was very upsetting. We had to genetically recreate your body shortly after you choose to take your life. A most unfortunate incident," the Negotiator tells me.
"What's unfortunate as that I am still here," I retort. "How does fashioning a new body work these days? I'm afraid I missed that chapter in biology."
"We took your DNA and tried to produce a clone, however these attempts were unsuccessful because of your incompatibility with Antarian atmosphere. Simulations of the Earth air structure were insufficient. Eventually we had to reconfigure your DNA, added a slight mix of our own to initiate the rebirth process. You now contain some aspects of a hybrid. Regretfully, it was the only way we could complete the project. However, you will find that your new body is far more adaptable to this planet and you no longer have to live in such an enclosed environment. You will also find that your new body is less destructible and we can and will not hesitate to quickly revive it if it becomes necessary," Tarenk explains.
I stare at the guy in shock. Eventually what he's said sinks in.
"So I'm like Max now?" I ask quietly.
"Essentially, yes but not entirely. It was a different process and a differing ends we were trying to achieve. And technology that was used on you is vastly improved. The insertion of your essence, your soul as you call it, so you will maintain the same memories was far superiorly done," He tells me proudly.
Max knows I'm dead. We were connected. He'd have felt it.
"Max knows I'm dead," I say. "Did you tell him I'm alive?"
"Zan was not told of your death. But you are correct in assuming he knew. We are not sure how the intelligence was leaked. It is under investigation. He has not been told of your life either. The Emperor wishes to save this information for an opportune time. His plans for negotiations by taking you hostage were greatly disrupted when you chose to terminate your existence. However, an upper hand has already been regained so you will be saved for a more appropriate use should a new conflict arise," Tarenk replies.
So essentially no one knows I'm alive and there are no plans to make it known. I'm one of those wait-and-see type deals. What the hell kind of plan is that? Actually not a bad one since no one will be making irritating rescue attempts, what, with there being no one to rescue.
That's great. I'm really excited for myself. Being forced to be a pawn in such a grand, elaborate plan such as this.
"I see. Exactly how long was I dead before I was brought back?" I question.
"Shortly," He answers.
"In Earth time, tell me how long I was dead," I implore, willing him to answer.
"Almost a year. Your new body had to gestate for a period of six months. We compensated for the age difference in the creation process. Your body is exactly tuned to you former self, only with a few minor improvements. Are you enjoying it?" He asks cheerfully, trying to change the subject.
"How long was I in prison before that?" I demand to know.
"A little over four years," He responds.
"So I've been missing from Earth for five years?" I ask.
"Yes. But we don't want you to think of Earth as your home anymore. Since your stay has been and will be so extended we think it is in your best interest if you accept this as your home. We would like to bestow you with privileges so that you are happier here. We would very much not like to have to revive you again or have to return you in bad shape to Zan should the need arise," Tarenk tells me.
Since when am I property.
"I'll leave you to think things over a bit and I will return at a later time. I'm sure you will have questions," Tarenk says.
He gets up and walks over to the passage.
"It's been a pleasure meeting you Liz Parker. I look forward to many meetings in the future," He smiles.
I don't hear him. I'm already lost in a world inside my head, contemplating the news that has just been laid before me.
I'm not Liz Parker. Liz Parker is dead.
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Part Four
Lizzie, little innocent Lizzie Parker. How in the world did you get yourself into this mess?
I'm dreaming. This isn't happening. I'm dreaming. I'm dead.
Maybe you are in a coma, Elizabeth, you know, maybe this is just one big dream world that your foolish mind concocted.
Liz! Liz! Wake up! Wake up!
Hahahahahahaha. Silly girl. This isn't a dream. This is your life. Your Reality.
No, it can't be. I'm Liz Parker. I'm an honor student. I, I'm a good person. This can't be my life. It just can't. I have plans. I'm going to Harvard in the fall. I'm going to study biology. This isn't me! This isn't ME!
THIS IS. This is you. This is your life. This is your fate. This is what Max Evans brought you. Misery. Death. Life.
Max? Brought this? You're right, Max Evans did bring this fate. If it weren't for him I'd be at Harvard. I'd have graduated by now. More importantly, If I'd never met Max I'd be alive.
No you fool, you'd be dead if he hadn't saved you. DEAD.
You are dead. Dead as a doornail. Your body is lying around here somewhere and Khivar has probably done a million and one things to it. YOUR BODY. This isn't even you. It's a fake. A clone. A copy. YOU ARE DEAD! At least if you had never met Max you'd be resting in peace.
NO! It can't be true. It just can't.
IT IS. Wake up and smell the coffee, Lizzie, if that's even your name anymore. You died. You killed yourself. You wussed out on life. You are dead. And now this part of you, this you that they brought back to life, this fake, tainted you is forced to live on forever as Khivar's personal pet, a bargaining chip at best in some war you had nothing to do with and has nothing to do with you. You Lizzie Parker, are a failure. You're pathetic.
I'm NOT. This isn't my fault. If I'd never met Max Evans...
You'd be dead, Elizabeth?
I'd be dead, but I'd actually be dead. I wouldn't be some ghost of myself in a biologically engineered body serving in hell.
Elizabeth, you're so ungrateful. You're ALIVE. Living. What can you do dead? Nothing.
WHAT CAN I DO ALIVE? NOTHING. I might as well be dead. I lived in hell for four years!
Now you will most certainly live in hell for eternity Elizabeth. Max Evans Might have rescued you. You should have waited; he could have been coming any day.
Waited? WAITED? You waited four years! Sheesh. Max Evans abandoned you. He left you in no man?s land for FOUR YEARS. How long were you going to give him to pull it together? Cripes. He wasn?t coming.
He loves me! He just didn't know where I was. Khivar, this is Khivar's fault. Khivar hid me away so well that Max couldn't find me. It's not Max?s fault. He loves me; he's my soul mate.
Some soul mate he turned out to be. Asshole. He left you Lizzie. Left you. He abandoned you. He never came to save you and he never would have. He's content to live out his happy insignificant little existence on Earth. He's not a leader and he never was. He's a loser. Max Evans is worthless and so are you if you can't accept the truth.
But, but, Max? I love him.
Hahahahahahaha. You LOVE him? See Lizzie, look what happens to you when you get so wrapped up in other people that you can't see yourself. You were far to busy waiting for Max to rescue you pretending you weren't waiting for him to rescue you that you forgot to save yourself. Save yourself, Lizzie. No one else is going to save you so you better just save yourself.
Save yourself, Elizabeth? How? How would you ever escape? Where would you even go? Home? To earth? Like this? A fake? A fraud? You're just as much an alien now to that planet, that home, that life as alien to you as Max's is to him, if not more so.
That is very true my dear Lizzie, very true. So why go home? You have a new life, a new chance. Make something of yourself for once. Maybe you won't even need to escape. You can't, really, and hope to survive. The universe is a big place. Power, Lizzie. Power. The universe runs on power. You need to get your hands on some of it. Forget Max Evans. Forget Liz Parker. LIVE and create yourself.
Forget Max Evans? Impossible, Elizabeth. He's still your soul mate.
Well this is his fault! He deserves to be forgotten. The good-for-nothing couldn't even rescue me. How could he sleep at night knowing that I'm out there, somewhere, kidnapped. How? He had four years to find me, to strike a deal with Khivar if he had. I died for him but now I must live for myself!
How dare you blame him Elizabeth! Khivar could have easily used your life as leverage. The only person here to blame is you! He came back from the future and warned you to stay away. Maybe his fate was to return to Antar with Tess. Maybe they could have overcome the ambush.
Tess! That murdering bitch. She has to have had some part in all of this. She probably told Khivar.... And to think I would let Max return with her after what she did to Alex!
He would have found out about her treachery soon enough my sweet Lizzie. This is a mess. Your life is a mess. You are a mess. But it doesn't have to be like this. Power, Lizzie! Power! The only way you can ever really escape is with power. Finally stand up for yourself and take some responsibility. You died, but you don't have to be dead. LIVE.
LIVE, Elizabeth. Live. Take responsibility for your actions. Stop blaming other people. Max can't help you now, anyways. Help yourself. Stop living in reminiscence of the past or you will never have a future.
Yes, I'll live. I can get through this. I can get out of here. I used to be very smart. I still am. And now I am stronger. My body is. I can feel it. I might even have alien powers. I was supposed to in my old body and it wasn't even part alien. Just so long as My mind is still strong, though, I can do this. I can get out of here. I can leave this prison behind. I just have to be clever. I just have to think. Whoever I am, I can do this.
Best of all, I don't have to worry about being Liz Parker anymore. Liz Parker is dead.
I stand up suddenly.
"I wish to speak to Khivar!" I shout at the ceiling. "I'm ready to negotiate a more reasonable solution to the terms of my existence!"
Silence hangs in the air for a few brief seconds before the door to my cell slowly opens. I hesitate, but only for a moment, before I confidently strut out the door, leaving behind my mindless prison forever.
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(Two Years Later)
CHAPTER ONE
What exactly constitutes a more reasonable solution to my existence? Two years later I'm still not completely sure. Anything seemed more reasonable than my current circumstances and so in turn I am willing to do almost anything. Which, really, if you ask me, is a horrible state to enter into negotiations under. My mind was a jumble of thoughts and ideas. My head spun in it's own orbit. The only thing I knew was that I couldn't be confined to a horrendous cell for the rest of my life, which could end up being forever. This almost explains how I was able to take the actions I took that lead me to the path that I am standing on today.
A lot can happen in two years. Seemingly more when you aren't confined than when you are.
I glance down at the sleeping, raven-haired child whose head is in my lap. I lovingly stroke my dainty nails through his mop of curls. I gently wind one of his locks around my slender finger and release it slowly. He stirs but doesn't wake.
I sigh and think back again to that fateful day a little over two years ago when I made my first deal with the devil.
Someone came, one of Khivar's many private servants I later learned, to lead me through an endless maze of hallways before ushering me into a beautiful chamber bustling with more servants.
They bathed me and clothed me in a beautiful velvety pink gown. The dark pink sleeves were long an loose and hung just past my wrists. The chest was tight, on the other hand, as it buttoned snuggly down the back to my waist, and the neck was low, revealing the extra cleavage I had acquired with my increase in age over the past five years. Three silver circles were delicately sewn onto at the waist. The skirt flowed out loosely into beautiful swirls of all different shades of pink around the bottom, the colors lightening down the dress. Silver threaded embroidering in the swirls became apperant in the lower half of the gown upon closer inspection. Pink has never been my favorite color but until that day I had never seen a more beautiful dress, and the fabric felt heavenly against my skin.
Like the room I was standing in, the gown was gorgeous. An work of art, full of fine details masterly crafted. I was wearing pure ascetic genius and staring at the same qualities in my surroundings.
For the first time in the five years I had been captive I was given a bra and underwear, but it only felt uncomfortable after going for so long with out. I wore it still, liking the idea of returning to civilization. Plus it was a pretty sheer pink to go with the gown and fit me perfectly as the dress did.
A servant cleaned and trimmed my filthy nails and polished them with a clear enamel while another set to work on my hair. First she cut it, not too much, only a couple inches or so. I couldn't believe how long it had become. It was a waterfall of dark tresses flowing down past my waist. It hadn't been cut since they had stolen the scissors out of my first confinement when I had blown a fuse and tried to commit suicide. Heh, heh. Another servant joined the first working on my hair, quickly making tiny tight little braids intertwined with different shades of pink ribbons.
The funny thing about all the servants was that the all had complete undistinguishable faces. They all looked the same even though I knew they were different. They were all very plain, neither beautiful nor ugly, fat nor slim, short nor tall, darkly featured nor lightly, just the average people in a crowd in average clothes. The chatted back and forth to each other in a language that was not English but seemed so. I could not understand a word they were saying yet at the same time I almost did. It was frustrating because it felt like the were just speaking too quickly with poor diction, but at the same time slowly slurring their words.
I was amazed at the short work the two servant made of my long thick brown hair. The second servant, I think, pulled half my hair up in a tight knot, keeping it out of my face. I stepped into silver slippers and the servant ushered me to a large mirror.
I gasped at the sight of myself. I was stunningly beautiful. I noticed how slender I had become, with curves in all the right places. Before I had still resembled just a girl, but now, now I was a women. My face was thinner; I had lost my childish cheeks. I looked closer and noticed a shadow under my eyes. The only physical reminder left my life in the cell. Everything else had been polished away to an extreme.
Khivar must be a perfectionist, I remember myself thinking.
I smiled and the servants smiled back and clapped, making joyful, indiscernible gurgles in their accustomed tongue.
Tarenk entered the room and stared shockingly at my altered appearance.
"Good evening, Miss Parker," He had stated dazed. "You are looking very lovely. Come and I will escort you to dinner. I'll fill you in on what will happening along the way."
He took my arm in his and we walked as he gave me only minute details, such as that I would be dining with Khivar and his cronies, not the word he used. He stated that this introduction would be very important in determining my future and that I should choose my words, thoughts even, carefully.
I remember thinking that it might be hard to watch what I think. I remember him glancing at me with knowing eyes.
I thought that Tarenk was kind, that if he hadn't worked for Khivar he might have been a genuine nice guy. Tarenk gave me another odd look after that thought.
Finally, after a series of several exquisite hallways, Tarenk lead me into a dinning room. I noted first that everyone was already seated, save two spots assumingly for me and Tarenk. Secondly I noticed exactly with whom I would be dining with. I frooze dead in my tracks
The company of the table was at that moment the most disturbing sight of my entire life.
Tess cast an icy blue glace up at me. Cripes, Tess. I shivered. Next to her sat someone I swore was dead. That swine Nicholas. He was older now, about the same age as Tess and I, better looking too. Probably a regeneration of the real thing like me, I remember thinking. Across the table sat Lonnie and Rath. I didn't even want to know how that scum got there.
At the head of the table sat an extremely handsome man. I knew at once he had to be Khivar since he was the only person I failed to recognize, yet at the same time I was hesitant to believe. I remember thinking that couldn't be Khivar, that he was supposed be old, and ugly, and monstrous. Khivar was one of the most attractive men I had ever seen, I have still ever seen. His cool blue eyes captured me at once. His lighter features, his sensuously thick blond hair beckoned to me. I was instantly drawn to him despite my inner protests. His lavish navy clothing seemed black but when I had moved closer I noticed how it had served to set off his blue eyes.
Khivar chuckled and stood at once smiling handsomely.
"The renowned Miss Parker I presume," Khivar had laughed amused. "It's such a pleasure to finally make your acquaintance after hearing oh so much about you. I was beginning to wonder if you would ever ask to see me, my dear."
Strange. He had said that like the whole time I was imprisoned all I had to have done to be freed was ask to see him.
"You must be the infamous Khivar," I had stated evenly with a calculated smile. "I can say likewise of you. It's an honor to meet such an infamous tyrant. It's not every day I get to eat dinner with the Hitler of the universe. Of course, it's not every day I get to eat dinner these days, what with being so busy being dead and all. Still, quite an honor to be dinning with such , shall we say prestige, as yourself and your colleagues. I was actually beginning to wonder if you had forgotten me, you being so enveloped in your riches as you are, and dirty, little old me wearing paper gowns, living in luminescent prisons with no windows or doors. You know, the thought just crossed my mind once or twice.?
Khivar continued to grin deviously through out my careful insults.
"Miss Parker, please, have a seat," Khivar had responded, pulling out the chair of the empty spot on his left.
I sat down and he smoothly scooted in my chair for me. Tarenk nodded to Khivar and tooks the empty seat next to Nicholas, while shooting me a warning look to bite my tongue.
I realized I was about to dine with Max Evans's arch nemesis, not to mention a good number of his other malicious enemies. The gathering of them all together around one table was very unnerving for me, I remember, but I tried my best not to show it.
Directly across from me was Tess, in an exotic bright yellow-orange gown . I remember I forced myself to meet her stare.
"Tess," I nodded defiantly.
"Liz," Tess had responded flatly.
"Liz, so good to see you again," Nicholas had piped in smirking. "You clean up nice. How have you been?"
"Dead," I had said nonchalantly. "You?"
"Same here," He replied.
It's funny how people Antarians deem important for one reason or another just don't seem to stay dead for very long.
"Sos, Liz," Rath had sneered at me. "Been busy, huh? What with tryin to kill yous self alls the times yous musta worked up some appetite. For mushrooms, huh?"
"Eh," I'd shrugged. "I had a slight craving."
"Stupid, crazy bitch," Rath had laughed at me. "Yous can't die. Khivar programmed-"
"RATH," Khivar scolded then quickly masking his anger.
Lonnie had elbowed Rath.
"Sorrys boss," Rath had apologized.
"My dear Miss Parker, what the imbecile next to you was trying to communicate is simply that any future attempts at ending your life are wasteful. You are so valued to us that we have established precautionary means for reviving you at once. In the future, Rath, you will address Miss Parker with the utmost polite courtesy and you will refrain from using such poor, vulgar speech as I know I have instructed you to," Khivar dictated.
"Yeah, yeah," Rath responded.
Khivar had shot him a look.
"Yes, sir," Rath saluted, still jesting.
Khivar had shaken his head, disgusted at Rath's incompetence and sighed.
"If you don't mind my asking," I had interrupted, "what exactly am I doing here?"
"I thought Tarenk filled you in?" Khivar had asked concerned.
"Vaguely, but that's not really what I mean. I mean why am I here at dinner and not in some prison cell," I had clarified.
"Miss Parker, you said you wished to make a deal and so do we," Khivar replied smiling.
I made the big mistake of gazing into his mesmerizing eyes.
"Well what kind of deal do you have in mind for me?" I had stuttered.
"We want you to be our ally," Tess had stated.
I shifted my gaze to her quickly.
"Let's face it Liz. It does no one any good for you to be withering away in some compartment, driving yourself crazy. We don't necessarily need you, always keep this fact in mind, but you could be a very useful asset," Tess asserted.
"You expect me to betray Max?" I had questioned cautiously.
"I know you will Liz. I've read your mind. I've seen your thoughts. Max Evans abandoned you as he abandoned me. He's already engaged to someone else," Tess told me.
"NO," I had spit in disbelief.
I remember thinking that she was lying, a lying rat. Max was supposed to have been my soul mate; he was supposed to have loved me.
"YES, Liz. It's awful. I know it is. But it's true. I'm so sorry," Tess said when genuine sympathy, reaching out and taking my hand.
"I know you feel like you have no where you can go and no where you can go because we have taken your life away from you. That was truly never our intention. If it had been we would have killed you long before and on earth. We thought Max Evans would make a deal or that he would at least attempt to rescue you. It was so inhumane of us to keep you cooped up alone so long, driving yourself crazy. It just wasn?t right. Even though you couldn't breathe our atmosphere we should have at least explained things to you and not left you entirely secluded. We will never be able to repair the damage we have done but we can try," Khivar had seriously stated, his face a masterpiece of all the exact, perfect emotions.
"How?" I wondered, fighting back the urge to cry.
"By giving you your life back," Nicholas answered. "We want to set you up as an equal ally with us. You have nothing to go back to on Earth. You family and friends have mourned your loss and already forgotten you. But here, here there is so much to do and see, Liz. Earth is a shithole compared with Antar. Just try it and see, at the very least."
"He's right," Rath agreed. "Everything here is better."
"Pleasure," added Lonnie with a knowing smile, "is much, much greater."
I knew the implications of that an it's many levels.
"Max is a bastard, Liz," Tess professed to me. "Forget him and go on with your life as I have."
"Miss Parker," Khivar surmised dramatically. "We want to help you, to save you from your hell. Max Evans is not the person he lead you to believe he was. Join us, Liz. Join our Alliance and we will see to it that you are taken care of forever. The universe will be at your fingertips."
That evening they fed me lies on a silver platter for dinner and I gobbled them up hungrily. What did I care, anyways, what the truth was? I was finally free of that cell and that was all that mattered. I moved from that obvious prison for my body to a trap for my mind. I thought I moved from hell, but I only entered a real hell, a more subtle, enticing one. But you know what they say; it's better to reign in hell than to serve in heaven.
I glance once again at Max's son in my lap. So young, so pure, so innocent. He doesn't belong here, with them. He's so beautiful, like I remember Max was. I shower him with the love I used to have for Max, love Tess never shows him.
I breath in the scent of the garden around me and relax against the tree behind me. Eagan yawns stretches his little body. He'll be seven soon. Seven in earth years. He opens his amber eyes and looks around. When he recognizes me he smiles his toothless grin. He?s far more human than alien. In fact, he barely has any alien in him, not having any powers and such. He?s nothing like Tess, looks nothing of her. He resembles Max more than I allow myself to admit. His face is so familiar, not like Max though. A different kind of familiar that I have yet to place.
"Auntie Liz," Eagan says sheepishly, "I falled asleep when you told me stories of your home again. I'm sorry."
"It's no problem, silly," I grin, brushing a leaf off his shirt. "I'm sorry I make you listen to my stories that bore you to sleep."
"You're silly Auntie Liz. I love your stories. Especially the ones with my daddy," He smiles.
I don't tell many stories with Max in them. In fact, I avoid the subject of him whenever possible, and not just because Tess asked me too. I don't like to talk about Max. It's a deep wound that never quite healed. Still smarts every once and a while so I try not to think about him. Ever.
"Did you know my daddy real good?" Eagan asks.
"Yes, very well," I respond with a faint smile.
"Then how come you don't tell more stories with him in them?" Eagan wonders.
"I don't know. I don't have any very interesting stories with your daddy," I tell him, not liking the interrogation's direction.
"Auntie Liz, don't you like my daddy?" Eagan questions.
"I do. Very much," I reply honestly.
"I heared you a mommy talking about him once when you didn't think I was listening. Mommy doesn't like Daddy. She said so and called him meanie names. You said you didn't like Daddy either," Eagan accuses.
"It's not that simple, Eagan. I like your daddy a whole lot, and deep down I think your mommy does too. But you and I can never tell anyone I like your daddy or I could get in trouble," I try to explain. "You are right. Some people here don't like your daddy very much, but that's not because he isn't a good person. They are just very jealous of him. They want to be strong and powerful, but your daddy is stronger and more powerful so they are afraid."
"Even Uncle Khivar?" Eagan asks wide eyed.
"Even Uncle Khivar, but don't tell anyone, okay? It's our secret," I respond. "And don't ask anyone else about your daddy. They might get angry and turn into meanies. People don't like to talk about your daddy to you because they don't want anyone to see that they are really jealous and afraid."
"I won't talk to anyone about daddy but you, Auntie Liz. I cross my heart," Eagan promises.
I smile.
"Come here, you," I say pulling him into a hug. "I love you, Eagan. I loved your daddy too."
"I love you too, Auntie Liz, alot," Eagan says cuddling close to me. "My daddy must have loved you too. You are really nice. The most nicest person I know. And you are really pretty. Even prettier than Mommy."
"Don't tell your mommy that," I chuckle.
Eagan plays with my long brown hair in this small hands.
"Sometimes I wish you were my mommy, Auntie Liz," Eagan admits.
My heart breaks.
"Oh, Eagan, your mommy loves you. It's just very hard for her to show love. Her life hasn't been very easy," I tell him rubbing his back.
He pulls out of our embrace.
"Yeah," Eagan says. "I guess so. Sometimes I don't think she likes me very much, though."
"Well I always like you," I smile. "You are such a good boy that your mommy must too."
I tickle him and he squirms away giggling.
"Let's go inside and get washed up for supper," I tell him. "It'll be ready soon."
"Okay," Eagan agrees.
We walk hand and hand through the luscious flora of the palace garden. Some of the plants are wildly exotic, acquired from the nearby planets that Khivar has practically assimilated.
Eagen leaves me inside the palace door to go wash up. I hesitate on going clean up myself, and instead find myself wandering across the terrace overlooking the garden. A gentle breeze blows across the land. The sun, or the star equivalent there of, setting on the horizon paints the sky ablaze in pinks. The triple moons hang above me in the dusking sky. I think of the dress I wore on my first Antarian dinner outside a cell. I hadn't know then that it was a depiction of an Antarian sunset. A beautiful dress that still could never do the real thing justice.
Another day spent, wasted. The prison I live in now is still a prison. I am still confined. This time by my own greed. By power. True, I could never leave even if I wanted to with the Khivar's miniscule tracking device implanted somewhere in my body, but still. I had nowhere I would go anyways. Besides that, I would never leave Eagan.
A ship roars across the sky into the horizon and I watch is disappear. I know nothing about ships, flying them. Well, very little. I have been trying to learn, coaxing lessons out of Khivar's pilots, pretending it's a cheap thrill for me. Flying lessons for me make Khivar uneasy. I can tell. But I work my magic on him and he consents.
They think I have no powers. They think that they died with my body. They tell me that even though I have alien DNA, I don't have any powers. I believed them for a quite a while. Until I realized they were wrong. I never told them though. I practice my powers only when I am sure I am alone. I can stop them from reading my mind now and can tell when they are doing it. It comes in very handy, actually. I make a video tape of boring neutral thoughts and program it to play over and over on top of my stonewall so that they think they can still read my mind and that I am very fickle. This conveniently frees me up to think whatever I please without their knowledge. Quite nifty.
An arm snakes around my waist from behind, startling me.
"Sorry, my pet, I thought you heard me," He says.
"No, I didn't. I was lost in my thoughts," I explain.
"Of beautiful sunsets, I know. And that sexy pink dress I just love you in," He murmurs into my ear.
I lean back into him, closing my eyes, inhaling his unmistakable, musky scent. He nibbles on my ear, his arms pulling me closer. I feel his hardness against me.
"My pet, you are soooo delicious. I can't get enough of you. You're simply intoxicating. I've never met a female who made me feel like this before, that I have been so addicted to," He tells me, his voice growing husky.
"Isn't that why you are marrying me?" I smile.
"Yessss," he hisses licking my neck. "That and you will make one hell of a queen."
"Tess makes one hell of a queen as it is. Don't you think she will be angry at being dethroned when we tell her?" I ask coyly.
I slide my hand behind my back and into my lovers pants, softly grasping his manhood. He groans.
"Tess most certainly will be pissed, but she knew there would come a day when I would take a true queen as my bride. She needn't worry, the little rat will still reign. Not like that gives her any power anyways, just claim to it. When we have a child, I'll see to it that it's a daughter and we can arrange one awesome wedding establishing power once and for all in our family," He grunts.
I will never have his child. I will never bring a child into this hellish struggle of power for his political purposes. He doesn't know that I can control my body so well, that I stopped myself from releasing eggs as soon as he became my lover.
"That sounds a little incestuous if you ask me," I purr, stroking him harder.
"I'm fine with it. They'd only be cousin's, my dear. I suspect Tess is my half sister, at that. And she's a hybrid. So is Max Evans," He moans.
My eyes burst open and I freeze at the mention of Max. I quickly shield my thoughts but he catches a flash. He laughs.
"I saw that. Max Evans holding your hand. How very quaint. Max has never been a man of action, my pet, and he never will be. If I had been him I would have ravished you at any chance I got, the fool,? he chuckles. "Now you belong to me, and he'll never get the chance."
"We were still very young," I try to explain.
"He has that Sanathian princess of his to ravish now," He goes on. "She's a real beauty. But not as beautiful as you, and not as good in bed either. I'm still skeptical as to when he's actually going to marry her. They've been engaged for years. He needs the power behind her throne, that much is clear, so why doesn't he just get it over with. He's a fool, I tell you.?
"Maybe he isn't in love with her," I mumble.
"Why? Because he's still in love with you?" He snorts. "I'm counting on it, my pet. When he handed over his claim to this kingdom for possession of your dead body, I knew he was a fool, better yet, a fool in love."
I withdraw my hand and pull away from him, gazing out onto the landscape once more.
"You never told me that," I say quietly. "The deal you made to get him to forfeit the throne.You were always very vague."
"What? That he felt guilty for abandoning you and wanted to give you a proper burial, and in order to do so I made him relinquish his contention as king? Only a minor insignificant detail, my dear. Not worth mentioning. Happened so long ago, anyways. Besides, what's the problem? I know you don't still have feelings for him," He responds.
"No, I don't have feelings for him," I agree. "But I don't think we should persecute him either, mess with his mind."
"My dearest, beloved pet, he most certainly will find out you are alive after we are wed. I don't want to hide you away forever, anyways. I want to show the universe you are mine, that you belong to me. I'd especially like Isabel to see just exactly what she gave up, as well as Max, of course. Anyways, no matter how many treaties he signs, Max Evans will never cede over Antar and he will never give up his son. He wants to take that snot away badly. The only reason he hasn't attempted yet is because I convinced him that the brat can't breathe other atmospheres, not that that kind of thing can't easily be fixed, but what Max Evans doesn't know can't hurt him,? He grins deviously.
I pull farther away thinking of the years I spent locked away because, "Antar's atmosphere wasn't suitable for me to breathe."
I sigh.
"Don't worry, love. I know how you are fond of him, I'll make sure he stays safe," He assures me, running a hand through my long dark hair.
At first I stiffen, thinking he means Max, and then I realize he is talking about Eagan.
"Thank you," I say smiling as sincerely as I can.
I meet his embrace and he kisses me deeply, passionately, hungrily. At last I pull away.
"I have to go change for dinner," I tell him smiling seductively.
"Yes," He agrees, before giving me one last, quick kiss.
I stumble off towards to palace door. Only once I reach it do I glance back at my future husband, at Khivar.
------------------------------
CHAPTER TWO
The first few weeks of my liberation I had wondered how they could be so careless, so reckless, so imprudent, in leaving me so unsupervised, unguarded, unchained. How could they be so sure I wouldn't try to escape, so sure that I would take their deal and choose to stay. I had laughed at their arrogance, but now I laugh at my own ignorance.
There was never any choice for me, of whether I would try to escape or not, of whether I would take their deal. Never. I was the fool, not them. They knew me better than I knew my self. They knew my every intention, motivation, thought, every hope, every desire, and every dream. I was theirs. They owned me and they knew it. All too soon did this realization come to me.
Free will. Free will is a relative term to me. Free will to choose their will. There was never free will, only the illusion of it. They knew my reaction for their every action before they made it. They knew and I hated them for it.
My prison now was of the mind. My own mind. I was my own jailor, my own prisoner. I resented them, but most of all I resented myself.
They told me that I had a homing device implanted deep within my body somewhere. I only half believed them. I had never felt it when I should have. The funny thing about the statement they made, though, is that true or false it would serve their purpose meaningfully. If there was no such device there might as well be.
How could I risk the chance that it might exist and attempt escape? I couldn?t afford such a blatant offense against the Alliance. I need their trust, it is vital for me. Through it only will come any freedom I might obtain.
I cannot submit. I will not. It simply is not in me. I am too stubborn, too tenaciously spirited. I will fight back, fight until the day they allow me to die. I will never give up, never surrender. Never again.
Every time their back is turned, I ever so slightly stretch the bars of my prison. They do not notice such minute divergences but someday, someday I know their difference thresholds will catch up with them. My Judgment Day, a day of reckoning. Someday they will notice. This I am sure of and still I labor on. I only hope that it will not be in vain, that the bars will be far enough apart when they do take notice that I might slip through.
They were sure I had no abilities, that I was only human after all. At this I can laugh; I am allowed. I wasn't even aware of them for quite a while after my liberation. After a while though, it became apparent to me that there were times when I would think things that would be seen as unacceptable, that my thought police would disapprove of, yet they did not notice, not if I really didn't want them to, if I feed them something else I was thinking.
I began to be more daring in my thoughts and became in turn for masterful of them and myself. Then I made the bold move of playing with theirs. For a long time I had been able to feel when they tried to mess with my mind and divert their endeavor. I wondered if I myself had this ability but was terrified to try if I did not, terrified they might become aware of my capabilities. Then once I mustered up enough courage to try.
It was on Rath, his mind is the weakest. I only made him see something that was not there, only a flower, but it was a start. Soon everyone was seeing daisies and roses everywhere. It was quite amusing for me to give a bouquet to Tess and have it wilt soon after she touched it. Mostly though, I made things disappear, watched people go crazy looking for them, and then made them reappear right after they had given up looking. It drove everyone nuts. Khivar had security tightened on the palace fearing there were thieves who stole odd trinkets and flowers.
Quickly though, I had to stop my childish antics lest I be caught in my own incautiousness. I set to work on greater projects with more intricate tasks. I begin to read their thoughts, see their plans, their motives, their intentions. I enjoyed the challenge of expanding my mind to combat theirs, of playing the game.
For that's all this is. A game. A silly board game of the mind. Monopoly of the soul. The rules are made by the players as the game progress. How does one beat this eternal game? No one will know what it takes to win except, of course, the winner himself. I fear though that the price may be forfeiting my soul and I'm not completely sure that is something I am prepared to offer. I will have to decide, though after I have erected my hotel on Boardwalk. But for now I am safe, as I only own it and Park Place.
One night last month, after dinner, after Khivar and I had been together, I was lying awake with him sleeping next to me. I probed his mind cautiously with mine and stumbled onto something that made me sick to my stomach. I saw them, buried deep with in, his plans for my home planet. I had always wondered why everyone of importance came in human form, why everyone was so fluent in earth languages.
It was a question that I didn't ask more than once like so many are, a question I simply accepted the answer to even if it didn't make complete sense. They told me that Earth culture was adopted because so many important members of the alliance such as Tess, Eagan, Lonnie and Rath were from there and comfortable in that form. Lonnie had made a comment about how the pleasure of alien customs in human bodies was ten times greater as well. I'll have to take her word for it. Antarians seem to be very into pleasure, not just Lonnie.
Tonight, after dinner, after Khivar fell asleep, I make a plan to see if it is still there, if what I had seen is indeed still true. To my great discontent it is.
I carefully navigate to find the blueprints in his mind for the systematic take over of Earth. Khivar plans to replace leaders, draw the entire earth into one large state over time, and then take power of it himself. He wants the resources and to use Earth as an important docking port in expanding the boundaries of the empire of space he controls. It seems as though he has thought of everything, planned everything out. He needs to lose Max Evans though, and the rest of the pod squad. They can potentially produce unwanted hurdles for him. That's why he is uptight about Max marrying this princess. He needs him to in order to get him off Earth.
I lay awake restless for most of the night finally falling asleep shortly before dawn. I awaken to a kiss on my forehead.
"Wake up, my pet, I have a surprise for you," Khivar smiles down at me.
I yawn and rub my eyes, forcing myself to wake up despite my lack of sleep. I see a gift wrapped at the end of his lavish bed.
"What's this for?" I wonder as I begin to unwrap.
"Do I need a reason to give you a gift, my pet? This is a special occasion, though; you are correct. And not just that I wish to see you wear this tonight at our engagement party," Khivar states still smiling as I pull out the most gorgeous dress I have ever seen in my entire life.
It's a beautiful scarlet color, with black lacing overtop slit down the middle to the empire waistline. It's also completely strapless. I look closer and see that the lacing is beaded and that small intricately woven birds dance across the lace. The dress I had picked from my closet for tonight's gala was so plain in comparison.
"Thank you," I graciously tell him, throwing my arms around his neck and planting a kiss.
"That particular bird has been a symbol of marriage in Antarian culture for ages and as you know, red is the color that the bride to be customarily wears to the engagement party, but my pet, do you still not know the occasion for such a gift?" Khivar asks.
I search my mind, eventually giving up and shaking my head.
"My dear, it?s your twenty-fifth birthday today on Earth. My how you have lost track of time. It does get confusing with the days and nights on Antar being so much longer," Khivar respond.
I quickly compute the time in my head.
"Good heavens, you?re right. That's completely crazy. Twenty-five? I'm practically an old lady," I reply in disbelief.
Where does time go? Seems like yesterday I had my seventeenth birthday party. That was the best party I'd ever had with Maria and Alex and Michael and Isabel and....
"This one will be even better," Khivar breaks in. "I didn't chose this night for our engagement party for no particular reason. Tonight will be very special, I promise."
Actually, I'm pretty sure he chose tonight so that our engagement part could kick off the summit he's having but whatever works. I think he just got lucky when he calculated that my birthday happened to be the same date, especially since we hadn't celebrated my last birthday and it had passed without recognition. But who am I to complain? I like being pampered.
I get up, bathe, and go off in search of breakfast. Eagan joins me along the way.
"Happy Birthday Auntie Liz!" He grins. "I got you something really neat, but it's a surprise."
"Oh really," I smile taking his hand in mine.
"Yes, I'm going to give it to you later, before the big party," Eagan pronounces.
"Okay," I laugh.
"Auntie Liz, how come I don?t get to come to your party?" Eagan frowns.
Good question. I had wondered that myself.
"It's past your bed time sweetie," I tell him.
"I've stayed up later before," Eagan protests.
"I know but this is more of a grown up party," I respond.
"Not fair," Eagan pouts.
"I know. I'll tell you what, how about me and you have our own party in my room before the big party tonight?"
"Yes!" Eagan agrees eagerly. "That's even better because then I get you all to myself!"
"Definitely," I chuckle, touched by his enthusiasm.
It's nice to know someone loves me. We make our way into the dining room, finding Tess and Lonnie still lingering in there after their breakfast.
"Good Morning Liz," Tess greets me cheerfully with her usual fake smile. "Happy birthday."
"Yeah, Happy birthday," Lonnie adds smirking. "Wait till you sees what Khivar's gone an got you."
"I already did. I love the dress!" I exclaim as I sit down.
"Uh, yeah...the dress...," Lonnie states.
Tess kicks her under the table.
"Oww! Great dress kid. It'll look fabuloso on ya," Lonnie adds.
"Mommy, Auntie Liz said we can have our own party in her room before the big one because I don't get to go!" Eagan tells her excitedly as he takes his usual seat next to me.
"Wonderful," Tess replies unenthusiastically. "Don't you be making a mess in her room and bothering her though. Servants are busy enough as it is and Liz has a lot to do to get ready."
"Don't worry, Mommy. I'm neat. I'm neat, Mommy," Eagan claims.
"It's okay, Tess. Let him have a little fun for once. I can clean my room, if I have to. It's not like I have much else to do and it really doesn't take me that long to get ready," I say.
"Well as long as he doesn't inconvenience you," Tess responds politely.
I can tell she doesn't like the idea. I don't think she likes Eagan hanging on me all the time. If she would be so cruel to him though, then he wouldn't feel the need to. It seems like I'm the only one who protects him.
"Oh its fine," I smile, flashing her a fake of my own.
Tess doesn't know Khivar asked me to marry him. She knows I'm sharing his bed, but many females do. She thinks the marriage he is going to announce will be to some Emperors daughter in the next galaxy that he has been meeting with a lot recently. It's supposed to be this big surprise who he is engaged to. Really though, everyone in the Alliance knows but her, Lonnie included. I'm almost surprised Lonnie hasn't told her since she and Lonnie used to be so chummy, although things have been shifting lately.
Khivar was afraid Tess would overact and try some big mind warp or go crazy. He wanted to wait and tell her in a big public place with lots of important people so it was made public before she could do anything. Tess can't mind warp that many people. I don't think she could have mind warped Khivar either, but when it comes down to it I wouldn't want to take the chance myself. Tess's mind has grown a lot stronger since she has been on Antar. Khivar supposedly has the strongest mind on the planet, that?s why he's in power, but Tess is close behind. They are related after all. I suppose I wouldn't want to cross her either.
Heh heh. The look on Tess's face tonight when Khivar gives the announcement is going to be priceless. I'm hoping someone gets a good picture. We all eat breakfast for a while in silence, except for Eagan who tends to slurp.
"Man oh man, I's can't wait for tonight," Lonnie laughs finally breaks the silence. "This gonna be one kickin bash full of surprises."
Tess and I both shoot her a warning glance. Why is Tess shooting her a warning glance?
"I?s just saying it?s gonna be good times. Rath and me been lookin forward for some time,? Lonnie smirks.
I?m really not liking the sound of that. I gives me the feeling that Tess isn't the only person who is going to be surprised tonight. I've been walking through Khivar's mind, though; I think would have seen something.
"I have a surprise for Auntie Liz," Eagan announces proudly.
"I bet it's not a surprisin as Khivar's," Lonnie grins.
"Eagan, we've talked about this," Tess ignores Lonnie's comment. "Liz is not your Aunt."
"Not yet," Lonnie mumbles.
I give her a good kick.
"Owwww!" Tess wails.
"Sorry. Problems adjusting my chair," I respond shifting uncomfortabley.
"Lonnie can I talk to you after breakfast in private please?. I have some things I?d like to discuss," I tell her.
"No prob, Lizzie. Anything for you's, kid," Lonnie replies amused.
We finish breakfast and Lonnie follows me out. Eagan tries to come too, but Tess calls him back. We go into a study.
"What are you talking about?" I question her after I close the doors. "What is this other surprise?"
"Lizzie, it wouldn't be no surprise if I tells ya, now would it? "Sides, I's been sworn to secrecy," Lonnie grins.
I narrow my eyes.
"Look, Liz, all I can say's that you's better look damn good tonight. 'Dis gonna be one party ya be rememberin the rest of you's life, however unnatural that turns out to be. Tess ain't the only person gonna be surprised. Hell, who knows, with Khivar, we's all might be, but with the entertainment I seen he's got planned.... Watch your back, kid. Watch your back. And watch how's you reacts. Important peeps gonna be watchin. All's I can say,? Lonnie tells me opening the door.
Now I'm more confused than ever.
"You's a good kid, Liz. I's enjoyed havin you around, so don't blow it," Lonnie adds seriously. "Ya spice things up and I was so looking forward to a weddin'. Who knows. Just be's careful."
Lonnie leaves and I'm left to interpret what she just said. I don't like it one bit. Lonnie is never sincere. Genuinely sincere anyways. I can tell when she's faking it by the twitch her eyebrow does and there was no twitch. Scary. I look out a window and see Rath and Eagan out on the terrace. Eagan's playing with one of his trucks but Rath takes it away and holds it just out of his reach. Eagan jumps for it and Rath laughs. I don't. Instead, I head outside to settle this.
"Rath, don't be such a jerk," I say walking onto the terrace.
"Here comes Auntie Liz ta save ya's again, brat," Rath tells Eagan who is crying by now.
Asshole.
"Give him back his truck. It's disgusting how big of a kick you get from pouncing on those so clearly weaker than you. Why don't you pick on someone your own size for once, unless you're afraid," I taunt making a grab for the truck.
"Someone's like you, Liz? Naw. You's still clearly weaka," He snorts pulling the truck away and holding it high above my head.
I make a jump for it but he's too much taller than me. Rath reaches out with his free hand to casually grope me and I slap his arm away. I think about screwing with his head when a better idea comes to mind.
"What's a matter, Liz? Only Khivar getta sample goods 'round here?" Rath asks laughing.
"Yeah, that's it," I say stepping close and clamping down on his balls as hard as I can with my hand. "Release his toy."
He looks shocked. His face contorts in pain but he still holds strong to the truck. I squeeze harder and he drops it. I release.
"I's just messin' with 'im, Liz. Geez. What's he needa truck for anyways? He ain't never gonna ride in one," Rath responds, protectively stepping away and adjusting himself.
"Just leave him alone will you. Someday he's going get bigger and more powereful, then you'll be sorry," I tell Rath picking up Eagan's truck and handing it to him.
Rath grunts and walks away.
"Thank you, Auntie Liz, for beating him up. Rath's a meanie," Eagan says with a tear stained face.
"A big meanie," I agree tousling Eagan's hair.
I play with Eagan for a until lunch. Afterwards, we plan our party. By then I'm Feeling a little tired and both Eagan and I take naps. With the days being so much longer on Antar I often find myself taking naps so that I can stay up with everyone else at night. After I awaken from my nap I start getting ready, both for Eagan's party and Khivar's.
I take another bath, only because they are so much fun in the big bathing fountain, especially with bubbles. Servants come to fix my hair. The use scarlet ribbons and black beads. They pull it all up into a big ponytail, wrapping a few braided strands around the base. The majority of my hair still hangs down my back because it is so long. One thing I love about Antarians is their ability to turn people into works of art. Tarenk comes to talk to me and I greet him.
"What brings you today?" I smile at my familiar friend.
"I just wanted to wish you a happy birthday, and give you a briefing about tonight," He tells me. "Great hair by the way."
"I was just thinking how much I love the artistic ability of you Antarians," I respond.
"Oh that's not by accident," Tarenk laughs. "Emperor Khivar breeds talent. He is a huge patron of the arts. Antarians have always been know for their craftiness, but Khivar took it to an extreme. He seeks out ability and nutures it accordingly. People do what they are good at."
Kind of reminds me of the old Soviet Union. Neat. Not really. No, not at all. I gaze out the window. The skyline is cluttered with ships. I've never seen so many in my life.
"What," I ask pointing at the ships, "is that? What happen to the sky?"
"Those are your party guests, Miss Parker," Tarenk chuckles.
"When I went to sleep there were but twenty ships and now there are hundreds. Tess can't be that crazy. Why do we need so many guests?" I wonder.
"That's partially what I came to talk to you about. This is a very important summit Khivar is having. We will be discussing trade routes for through out this galaxy and the surrounding. Everyone whom the discussion would be relative to was invited. Ambassadors, consulates, leaders, rulers from all over this side of the universe will be in attendance," Tarenk clarifies. "As a part of the Alliance you will get to sit in on most of the summit talks if you choose, although I'm not sure you'll get much from them since you have not really been briefed on what's happening."
"That's alright. I'd actually like to listen anyways. I think it'll be interesting," I respond.
"I thought you might say that," Tarenk smiles. "I'll try to give you an overview of things before hand, but for now I best brief you on what's going on tonight."
Khivar's the kind of person who waits till the last possible moment to let you know what exactly is happening. He likes people to know as little as possible, only what's necessary. I think he does it so one arm has no idea what the other is up to and thus has to abide by only what the head, Khivar, tells it. I've grown accustomed to Khivar's vagueness.
"Here's what's happening. When everyone first arrives for the party they will be directed to the great hall. Many people are staying here with in the palace, the friends of the alliance, but other's who are not so friendly have chosen to remain aboard their ships when the summit is not in session. Everyone, regardless of being friend or foe, will be at the first dinner tonight. It's to open the summit under the convivial circumstances before everyone wants to rip each other apart at the assembly; it's supposed to be a pleasant experience and establish good feelings while everyone is still being polite. Normally, that is the case but there have been times in history where the less fortunate was more prominent. I am not positive which occasion this will be. There is much tension in this part of the universe right now, too much," Tarenk scowls.
Someone really needs to educate me in Antarian politics. Soon. It might be nice to know what exactly I am representing.
"Anyhow, the announcement is going to happen very informally. Everyone will be in the great hall mingling, but Khivar wants you to be the last to arrive. He wants you to be in the crowd of people as little as possible. I am told Lonnie will come fetch you when it's time for you to come down. At that point, Khivar will stand up on the landing, you know, the big one between the great hall and dining hall," Tarenk tells me.
I give him a blank look. Hell if I have the blueprints of this place memorized. I've been here two years and there are still entire wings I haven't seen. It?s like Versaille, times ten.
"Well there's a landing there. It's only maybe two or three steps up; it almost looks kid of like a stage and on the wall in the middle of it are big double doors that lead to the dining hall. You can't miss it, don't worry," Tarenk assures me. "So Khivar will get up there, thank everyone for coming, announce his engagement, and invite everyone to dine. Now when he starts to announce the engagement you'll make your way up on to the landing, give a little smile and wave-"
"Oh, oh! Can I do the Princess Di wave?" I ask excitedly.
He laughs. I?ve been practicing the Princess Di wave since I was first engaged.
"I don't care. Anyways, you smile and wave and stand beside him while he welcomes everyone to dinner. Then he'll open the big doors and the two of you will stand in the doorway and everyone will greet and congratulate the two of you as they enter the dinning hall. Traditionally, first of kin, Tess, is supposed to be the first to congratulate but there are any number of bets to what she's going to do. Lonnie and Rath are prepared to start the procession if Tess fails to. Pending Tess's reaction or any other major outbursts, the guests will enter the dining hall, take their seats, and wait for you and Khivar to finish up. When every is seated you and Khivar will enter. Everyone will stand when you are before your seats. Khivar will help you with your chair, you sit, he'll tell everyone else to sit, he'll sit. Not so bad, huh?" Tarenk wonders.
"Sounds easy enough to me. But what other outburst might their be?" I question.
"Outbursts?" He says confusedly.
"You said 'pending Tess or any other major outbursts.' I know you said that," I respond suspicious.
"Ahh. Yes. I suppose I did say that. I'm not counting on any other outbursts but you never can be to sure at an event like this. Right now we're all just hoping Tess doesn't burn the place down or something crazy like that." Tarenk smirks. "Speaking of Tess, I thought I should let you know that Tess will keep her title as Queen of Antar and Khivar will bestow upon you the title of Empress, so that you will ruling beside him. It should moderately appease Tess, even though she wouldn't lose any of her power with the title, anyways. It also creates less confusion since Khivar is not technically King. That title could only belong to Zan or Eagan and since Zan has renounced it, it will officially go to Eagan when he is old enough to accept it. Right now Tess is just ruling as a regent to Eagan in her brother's empire. When Eagan comes to power, Zan will no longer even have a ghost of a claim to the throne, and Khivar will rule in absolutism. It would be a foolish move to appoint you queen, as Khivar may have been promising, if there are no heirs produced, and would be a messy business besides.?
"I suppose that's all fine with me, the title means nothing to me anyways. We all know that the only people who do any ruling around here are Khivar and Tess. I'm just a pretty arm piece for Khivar to parade around with. But how is the absolutism Khivar will have different from what he has now? I don't understand,? I tell Tarenk.
Another promise Khivar backs out on. Oh well. The power isn't always in the title anyways.
"Right now, with Tess ruling alone, Khivar has absolutism, but it is conditional. If Zan ever reasserted his claim at the throne and it was recognized by the Antarian senate, he could be reinstated. If he was reinstated he could rebel against the Empire. The Empire can only rule with the consent of the planet's ruler because it is by definition interplanetary," Tarenk explains.
"Antar has a senate?" I ask in disbelief.
Damn. I've been in the dark.
Tarenk chuckles.
"A facade of one. The senate is occupied primarily by loyalists of the Alliance. Senators are elected to lifetime servitude by the people but are subject to approval of the ruling Queen or King. Tess rejects the non-loyalists. When the King and Queen disappeared from Antar, Khivar had already secretly been secretly installing his loyalists into the Senate for a long time and they were in the majority, especially after a series of mysterious senatorial deaths that called for re-elections. The senate was put into power with the absence of the Royal Party and the senate voted Khivar Emperor. That's how a dictator democratically takes office around these parts," Tarenk reports. "Tess certainly didn't revoke her brother when she came back and was content with Power under him. Zan, on the other hand, would not have been. Fortunately he never made it back to Antar to claim what was and now even if he does, the Senate will never recognize his claim and reinstate him. He may be a thorn in our side but the Empire will retain power."
"So Antar is just part of a bigger Empire ruled by Khivar, right?" I ask to make sure.
"Yes. Antar is like the Rome of your Roman Empire that was on Earth. Only, conquering is not as easy now as it was way back then. Too many intergalactic treaties, trade agreements, and safety pacts. Some of that is what Khivar hopes to sort through with this summit," Tarenk updates me.
Hell, I've been in the pitch black. Here I'd been walking around the past two years barely aware there was life outside this palace and the influence these inhabitants had on it. And I thought life around here was all about pleasure and everyone loafed around, when secretly they all had been hiding the political skeleton of things from me. Granted, I hadn't been very inquisitive but they had given me no reason to be. I assumed the Alliance ruled, end of story.
"Wait so what's the Alliance?" I wonder. "And how come you never told me any of this earlier?"
"You never asked. The Alliance is like a political party kind of. The Alliance has no real claim to power in itself, yet we have power because our members are so influential and many do hold office. More importantly we help each other gain power to further the empire. The Alliance is not simply limited to the members you are in contact with each day, myself, Khivar, Tess, Nicholas, Rath, and Lonnie. There are seven members ruling on other planets as Nicholas does. With you included we number fifteen. It should be interesting to see the difference in impact we have on decisions in this summit with the addition of you. You will already be acting in the position of High Empress even though you are not married yet because that gives you claim that title in a summit as long as you are engaged. It will give your vote more sway than if you were only an Alliance member. This way you get sort of a weighted vote. Which is a another reason we aren't taking the Queen title from Tess, we need the sway. Originally we had worried the title of Empress would not so easily be recognized upon you, but as of this morning it looks like a majority of parties present and universally alike are willing to grant you it, and there will be no need for you to supercede Tess.?
Funny how they can just create a title for me to further their political power and people will legally accept it. Funny in a crazy yet completely amusing way.
"So after this big dinner, I heard something about dancing...?" I wonder.
"A customary part of an engagement party. So there will be dancing for entertainment tonight and theater tomorrow. After dinner Khivar will lead everyone back to the great hall, the to two of you will start everyone with the first dance and then Khivar will most likely spend the rest of night lending his ear to various influential groups and people. The dance is not required summit curriculum so many guests will give Khivar their regards, as he is their host, and retire for the evening as soon as they get a chance. It's only polite for them, however, to wait until the first dance is over to do, after which you may lose sight of Khivar for the rest of the evening unless you adhere yourself tightly," He states and I grimace at the suggestion.
I realize for the first time how greatly Khivar is trying to kill two birds with one stone. The engagement party and the summit dinner.
"In any case I would encourage you to mingle and not so much talk to the guests as listen to them so you can report back to us anything which could instrumental as well as get a feel for the politics of the summit. I must warn you that though guest have been required to appear in a humanoid form, some of their appearance may be some what alarming."
Note to self: do not stare in horror. I hope it's not like with that bearded lady I used to see at the post office and I try to look away but I just can't. I wonder if she still works there.
"What would you say if I told you I can't dance Antarian style?" I smile.
"Not to worry, Miss Parker. It's, what is that expression you say? A piece of cake. Very easy, the dance you will be doing is called the Pongorda and it is very similar to what on Earth you call the Waltz if I am not mistaken," Tarenk assures me.
"Oh, please show me!" I beg.
He obliges and in no time we are spinning around my bedroom laughing. Soon we have and audience.
"Me next, me next!" Eagan begs.
"Alright, Eagan, here you go," Tarenk grins handing me over. "I'll be leaving now Miss Parker, is there anything else?"
"Actually," I say taking Eagan up into my arms, "I was just kind of curious how you ended up getting involved in the Alliance."
"Khivar and I were childhood friends," Tarenk smiles faintly. "I was quite a bit older than he, but he was always bigger and stronger. He took me up under his wing and I ended up along for the ride and here I am today as his Prime Minister. There are not many people a man like him can trust and I think that I am one of the few people he does. I don't always agree with him, but I will always stand beside him."
I smile. His loyalty is actually very touching. Too bad it's to Khivar. Someday I truly will be free and I can honestly say that I will miss Tarenk.
"Any further questions?" Tarenk asks, breaking my thoughts.
"Not right now, thank you," I tell him, giving him a genuine smile as he leaves.
Eagan and I dance around for a bit before a servant bring us a genuine, not to mention gorgeous, birthday cake. Crazy. I haven't had birthday cake in years. Eagan makes the servants light twenty five candles despite my protests. He insists that I have to make my birthday wish. That'll teach me to tell him so many stories of earth customs from my childhood. I debate on my wish for a while before finally settling on the one thing I have really wanted most for a very long time. It's a frivolous wish, but it's my birthday so I make it anyways.
Eagan and I dance some more but end up jump on my bed. I haven't had so much fun in years. Until Tess shows up, decked out in her elaborate blue (her usual color) attire for the evening, and spoils our fun by asserting that it is time for Eagan to go eat his dinner in his room and head to bed. I tell her that I'll take him there shortly after Eagan says he still has yet to give me my surprise and Tess says she'll wait outside my room. What, she doesn't trust that I can deliver her child to his room? It's not like I'm going to hide him in my closet or anything.
"Close your eyes, Auntie Liz," Eagan instructs me as he digs in his pockets. "And hold out your hands."
I follow his orders. I feel him place something small and cold in my hands. I open my eyes and see a necklace.
"It's your locket, the one you told me about," Eagan tells me pleased with himself.
I look closer. It's mine, the heart-shaped locket my grandmother gave me for my tenth birthday. It had been hers with she was a child. It used to be my most prized possession, and I had always worn it, had been wearing it when I was captured. Now it's a bit tarnished but not too badly.
"Where did you find this?" I wonder, amazed.
"I told Lonnie how sad you were about losing your grandmom's necklace and she made Rath get it so I could give it back to you for your birthday," He smiles.
Lonnie helped?
"Oh Eagan, this is the best gift ever," I respond, getting teary eyed.
"I tried to open it but it's stuck," He furrows his brow. "I'm sorry."
I try to open it myself and find his statement true. It's probably for the best; I'm not sure I want to see the picture that I know would be inside. Grandmother had told me that when I found that special someone who I would hold in my heart forever that I should put his picture inside, as she had done with my grandfather. For years I had worn the locket empty, then things had changed.
"That's alright. It's still a wonderful gift," I reply smiling with a big hug. "I'll even wear it tonight. Thank you so much."
I wonder if Khivar knows that Rath lifted this. I'll wear it anyways because I know that Khivar will hardly notice it and even if he does won't place it. I wonder where exactly Rath lifted this from. I decide to pick his brain later. Eagan helps me put the necklace on. I take Eagan's hand and walk with him and Tess to his room. I give him one last hug and the two disappear inside. As Tess closes the door to his room behind her I hear the deadbolts clink and the familiar hum of the security system. Walking away I recognize that it is Khivar's own specially trained guards are standing watch instead of the usual ones. I suppose Khivar really has to up security with so many strangers in the palace.
I head back to my room and finish getting ready and out on my dress. The time passes quickly and before I know it Lonnie comes and tells me that I should come down now. She looks very nice in an elegant dark violet gown. Secretly I think she likes to dress up even though she always complains. She leads the way and I follow. We walk most of the way in silence, but she pauses outside the great hall doors.
"Well, Lizzie, I gotta hand it to ya. You's looks stunning. There's gonna be one helluva show tonight and I want yous ta go on out there an break a leg," Lonnie grins. "I'll be rooting for ya. Good luck."
I think she is talking about Tess. No matter. I'm about to find out. I smile and nod.
"Thank you," I tell her softly as we slip into the great hall and the crowd gathered there, but I don't think she hears me above the noise of the room.
I'm not nervous. Why should I be. None of this means anything to me. Not really. The vastly spacious room is crammed with bodies of all shapes forms and sizes in ornate costuming of all kinds. It's like something out of my childhood imagination. I spot Tess in the crowd a little ways off. Funny. She must have changed. She was wearing blue earlier and now her dress is bright pink. Lonnie grabs my hand and drags me through the crowd, not bothering to excuse herself and leaving me to do it for her.
I harshly bump someone on my right under Lonnie's aggressive pull and look back to apologize. I trun to see Rath. He looks unusually nice. His hair has been cut and tamed, and he's taken his body piercings out. It's a nice look for him, he should go with it more often. When he sees me he tenses and his eyes go wide. I know I look good, but why does he seem like he's seen a ghost? He gives me the oddest look as Lonnie tugs me along harder and his face is once again engulfed in the crowd. Lonnie weaves her way to the front of the mass with me in tow.
Khivar stand up, as I was told he would, and welcomes everyone. He motions for me and to come stand next to him and I do. When I fall in line with him he clasps my hand in his and brings it to his lips, kissing it. I smile at him as lovingly as I can.
"Now, as promised, I'd like to announce my engagement and introduce you all to the most intriguing women that I have ever had the pleasure of meeting, a critical and most valuable member of the Antarian Alliance, the future Empress of my empire, my bride to be, Miss Elizabeth Parker, of the planet Earth," Khivar tells the crowd.
Oh, I'm an arm ornament alright, I think doing the best Diana I can muster to the cheering crowd. The bastard hasn't glanced at me once since I've been up here next to him and has been focused entirely on his attention from the crowd. He'll always be too in love with himself to ever be in love with me, no matter what he claims. And in what way exactly am I critical and valuable to the Alliance. I don't even get to attend most meetings. Many questions and suspicions float into my mind for the first time. It's as if I am at last waking from long, nap of indifferent ignorance. Too many thoughts and ideas swarm at me all at once. I push them out of the way to observe the commotion.
"He's marrying HER?! He CAN'T marry her!" Tess shrieks above the clapping.
People around her stare.
"Umm...I mean, WOW, he's marrying her. But, uhh... he can't marry her UNTIL I give my most joyous congratulations at such a good choice," Tess corrects.
She comes forward with the fakest smile I've seen yet. I give her a wicked grin. She gives me a kiss on the cheek and whispers in my ear.
"I don't know how you managed this but you'll never get away with it," She hisses.
She pulls away but I grasp her closely.
"I already have," I respond in a low tone.
The look of pure hatred she gives me after she pulls away is deadly. Khivar smiles and hugs her, telling her through clenched teeth that they will discuss it later. I giggle at the sound of Tess's whiny voice protesting echoing through my head. Have fun Khivar.
"Now I'd like to invite you all in the traditional dinner that will open the summit," Khivar speaks loudly.
He opens the dining room doors and Tess slinks though them haughtily. I know I'm grinning wildly. I enjoy her discomfort all too much. Lonnie and Rath congratulate Khivar and I standing by the doors.
"Well, you's a knockout in round one kid," Lonnie whispers. "I suspects round two ain't gonna be as easily won."
Slowly but steadily the Alliance was followed by a parade of guests, none of whom I have ever seen before. Scaly, Hairy, Slimy, you name it; it was there. All were bipeds, but not necessarily with limited to four appendages. The majority, though, if caught at a glance, could have been mistaken for humans. Khivar did most of the speaking, fluent in hundreds of tounges, while I just smiled at his side. The procession seemed endless until finally I was presented with the last group of guests.
I was so busy with greeting that I didn't even notice the end was nearing, so busy that I didn't even focus on the identity of the last party until we were face to face. I found out, then, what Lonnie had been alluding to all that time, warning me about.
SURPRISE! Happy birthday, Liz, you got your wish.
I stiffen as my gaze settles on those familiar eyes, unmistakable eyes I haven't gazed into for seven long years, an eternity. The past floods upon me in tidal waves. Every hope, every dream, every fantasy I had given up on hits me at full force. Me knees weaken and I collapse at the impact of the realization. I faint, the dark world fading away into light, Max Evan's face shining brightly in my mind.
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TO BE CONTINUED?????????
If this fic does not reappear on this board updates will be available on the Boardello and through email if you leave yours below. And by the way, for those of you who have seen Castaway, I just did, not a huge fan of the ending, gave me tears. I PROMISE this will be NOTHING like that. This is a long chapter because I at least wanted to end things bringing Max into the picture, I thought it might be nice to assure everyone that Khivar's gonna get his ass kicked afterall. Anyways, thank you to everyone who has shown their support thus far.
[ edited 12time(s), last at 4-Dec-2002 3:10:35 AM ]
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posted on 5-Apr-2002 4:48:56 PM by Allie1031
| Too lazy for email. Eventually will accquire a group. Very busy now with track. Enjoy. Thaks for Feedback and bumpage.
-Previously-
I was so busy with greeting that I didn't even notice the end was nearing, so busy that I didn't even focus on the identity of the last party until we were face to face. I found out, then, what Lonnie had been alluding to all that time, warning me about. SURPRISE! Happy birthday, Liz, you got your wish.
I stiffened as my gaze settled on those familiar eyes, unmistakable eyes I hadn't gazed into for seven long years, an eternity. The past flooded upon me in tidal waves. Every hope, every dream, every fantasy I had given up on hit me at full force. Me knees weakened and I collapsed at the impact of the realization. I fainted, the dark world fading away into light, Max Evan's face shining brightly in my mind.
CHAPTER THREE
The blow sends me sailing back through space, through time. I float back to earth, to me. Max smiles, Max runs his fingers through my hair, Max kisses me. Max. Everything is good. Everything is whole. Everything is complete. I am complete. I lay in Max's arms, living, breathing, being, alive. Max. Only Max. Completely Max.
Voices stir me.
I flutter my eyes open against the harsh lights. Slowly objects begin to come back into focus . The voices continue.
"Max?" I stammer.
I blink slowly and reality rushes back to my side. The events of earlier unfold in my head, replaying like a silent movie in fast motion, nauseating me. Max. I had seen Max. He was here.
Was he here? Was I dreaming? How could Max be here? I was dreaming Max. Dreaming.
"Miss Parker, dear girl, how are you feeling? You gave us quite a scare," A male voice utters.
Two shadows hover over me. I squint and rub my eyes. Tarenk. I try to sit up but a wave of dizziness passes through me. Tarenk grabs my arm to help steady me. I notice that I'm lying on a couch in one of the many studies, quite a ways from the great hall. I also notice that I am under very heavy guard.
"I think I'm okay," I tell him, rubbing the back of my head which is throbbing.
"You hit your head on the back of the door when you passed out. The doctor said you should be okay though, just a headache. No concussion. We can give you something for the pain as soon as you wake he said," Tarenk states.
The doors of the study fly open and Lonnie rushes in.
"Lizzie, you's so disappointin'. Ya went down after the first punch thrown. Sheesh, kid. I thought you's be puttin up a great fight too. Liz ya done got yur ass kicked," Lonnie smirks. "Ya better toughen up though, cuz there gonna be a rematch."
I groan. Max. It wasn?t a dream. He really is here.
"Lonnie, what the hell is he doing here? Why didn't Khivar tell me?" I demand angrily.
"He's here for da summit. He'd be stupid not ta come. Lizzie, you shoulda seen the look on his face when you's was standing next ta Khivar. I's thought he was gonna kill im right then and there, but his friends some how kept him under control. It was classic, Lizzie, classic," Lonnie tells me.
"Oh, well, I'm glad that you can find so much amusement in the pain and misfortunes of others. I think the word for that is sadism or something. You might want to get someone to look into the problem for you; I don't think it's all that healthy," I snap.
"Simma down, Lizzie. I'm takin you's side. Yur a fighter, and you's gonna come outta this on top. I can tell. I ain't gonna be supporting a losin side," Lonnie replies.
Great. I sounds like she thinks I'm gonna be staging an uprising or something. Worst of all, I think she expects me to be taking Khivar and Tess down. Ha. HAHAHA. Ha.
"Yeah, well don't count your eggs before they have hatched. Apparently the world is full of surprises," I say coming to my feet. "Then again, maybe instead of a chicken, you'll find yourself birthing a tiger."
"Miss Parker, it might be wise for you to lay back down for a while. The doctor said so. You took quite a tumble earlier," Tarenk reminds me.
I ignore him and look directly at Lonnie.
"Where's Max?" I question.
"Dinner just got finished. He glared at Khivar da whole time. Too funny. I thinks he know you's ain't the same. After you fainted he asked Khivar real quiet an cold what gave him the right ta play God. He didn't even look at ya. It was kinda creepy cause Max was so pissed an hateful like. Gave me da chills an shit. Then he and his looker of a princess an the resta his posse just walked away. I woulda thought he woulda done something. He just left ya there, an I couldn't believe it. Khivar looked at im real scary when Max turned his back, too. Everyone was starin as soon as ya passed out so Khivar told em all how ya'd had too much excitement cause it was ya birthday an that human bodies are way fragile an Max snorted. Then them servants hauled ya away an dinner went on like nothin happened," Lonnie reports.
"So where is everyone now?" I ask frowning.
"Great hall dancin'. Whatcha gonna do?" Lonnie asks excited.
"Well I'll be damned if I'm going to miss my own engagement party," I retort, adjusting my dress and fixing my hair.
"Atta girl," Lonnie cheers.
"Miss Parker, I don't think that's really such a good idea, not with your health failing you," Tarenk interjects.
"Well why the hell not? What's the worst that's going to happen? I die and I'm sure you'll have me back up on my feet in no time," I remark bitterly.
Lonnie chuckles. I storm out of the room with the two of them in tow along with an entourage of guards. I have a tendency get irrational when I'm angry. So very rarely do I get angry though. I usually bottle things up. But there isn't a big enough bottle in the entire universe for this. I feel mad, crazy mad. I almost scare myself. The shit has definitely hit the fan, as Lonnie likes to say. I march down to the great hall and pause outside the door to compose myself.
"Miss Parker..." Tarenk starts
"Save it. I'm going in there regardless. I am sick and tired of being toyed with," I tell him.
I don't wait to hear a remark from Lonnie, and I slip into the spacious great hall once again, leaving Lonnie, Tarenk, and the guards behind. Guests surround the outside of the floor, and cluster more toward the door to the dining hall side of the room. A good number of guests are enjoying themselves in dance out on the immense dance floor. I can't say that I actually have much of a plan in mind other than to follow my whims as they come. I glide through the crowd, my eyes searching. Finally I get a lock on my target and gracefully make my way over.
I come to my fiance's side beaming brightly. His eyes widen and then he ever so briefly frowns. He pulls me to the side.
"Liz dear," verbalizes Khivar loudly, somewhat surprised. "What are doing, my pet? You should be resting. You have obviously overextended yourself in preparation for this joyous occasion. You should get some rest, love."
"I'm feeling much better, thank you," I respond smiling. "I'd really like to dance. Come dance with me, please?"
I give my sweet innocent face and hope it doesn't look as if I'm sucking on a lemon like it usually does.
"My pet, I would love more than anything to do just that, but I'm extremely busy talking with the guests," he replies making a gesture to the circle of people awaiting his return.
"But Khivar, DEAR, I would really, really like to have a dance. It's imperative," I tell him, jaw clenched.
"I know, and I'm so sorry, love, but it'll have to wait for the time being. We are in the middle of discussing something quite important right now. I'll tell you what though, why don't you go find something to drink and have a seat somewhere; you look a little peaked. I will come find you in just a bit or so and we can discuss that dance further," Khivar dismisses me.
I can tell he's entertained by my plinth. I, on the other hand, am not. At all. I scowl as he turns his back on me. I pout down to the exotically tiled floor trying to think.
"The most enchanting Miss Parker, I couldn't help but overhear your sorry predicament. I would be more than happy to offer my services in a dance with a beauty such as yourself. In fact, I'll be insulted if you refuse my offer," an amused voice extends a hand into my line of vision.
I whip my head up to meet those familiar amber eyes once again. I recoil.
"Perhaps my beloved is correct. I am feeling a bit peaked," I state carefully, averting my eyes. "I should go sit down."
"Why Miss Parker, I hardly believe that after you were just begging for a dance a moment ago. What?s the matter, Liz? Aren't you happy to see me, baby? Didn't you miss me?" Max says, his gaze intent on meeting mine.
"I-" I start but Max whisks me out onto the dance floor.
I look back over Max's shoulder and catch Khivar's measuring glance. He continues to chat with his colleagues but his concentration has moved on to me and Max. He meets my eyes and furrows his brow. Max, however quickly ushers us out of Khivar's sight.
"I never said yes," I angrily tell Max when he lets me catch my breath and we've settled into a steady rhythm.
"You didn't say no either," He smirks, squeezing me to him as I try to push away.
"You didn't give me the chance," I frown trying to subtly wriggle out of his grasp.
"I didn't want to. Stop struggling or people will begin to take notice," Max orders gripping me tighter.
"If you don't let me go I'll scream for Khivar," I threaten.
Max draws back and looks into my face.
"No, you won't," He states evenly. "You won't want to cause a scene and draw attention to yourself, Elizabeth Parker. You won't want to have to explain to everyone here why you won't engage in a simple dance with me, not even for old times sake. Most importantly, Liz, you won't want to pull away from me because at the very least I know that you are extremely curious. So quite whining and enjoy the dance."
I narrow my eyes him but don't say anything because I know he right. I relax and he pulls me in closer to him. I'm all too conscious of his hands on me. I breathe in his same familiar scent with a whiff of liquor mixed in. He's been drinking some of that strong Antarian stuff that Rath loves and is always trying to get me to try. Max is a little too collected, though, to be drunk. I don't think Antarian liquor has the same effect as alcohol from Earth. The Earth kind just makes sloppy drunks of aliens while the Antarian stuff works slower and is much richer tasting and robustly biting, or so I hear. How it can be stronger and seemingly weaker at the same time is beyond me. Lonnie says I just have to try it because it's a "wicked buzz." I'll pass. I have to stay on top of my game.
Max sighs deeply and I wonder what is going on in his head; what he's thinking. It feels different being in his arms. It's Max, and yet it's not.
Visions, distant memories of the long forgotten past, wander through my mind as we whirl around the dance floor. Events, far away times from my lost history, creep into my consciousness with our every step. Vague impressions of my former life, my former self, ambiguously imprint themselves on the sandy abyss in my head.
Max is not the same. He's stronger, tougher; I can feel it, his power coursing through me. His hair is longer, and it hits me that he looks a great deal like the future self I once met. His face is older, worn with worry and hardships, but still as handsome as ever. Max, my Max.
Words fail me at the moment, but words somehow seem insufficient. A lifetime has passed, gone by, and here we are. Max and I. A lifetime has passed and we speak nothing, yet everything is spoken.
Max and I continue to dance until the musicians end their piece. Max guides me off the dance floor.
"Let's go somewhere to talk," Max commands, placing a hand on the small of my back to direct me in front of him.
He steers me through the crowded room and stealthily out a side door to the terrace. I catch a glimpse of Khivar watching as we slide out, but he doesn't seem all that concerned. Why not? Max could be kidnapping me and he wouldn't have a clue. There aren't even any special guards out here, just the regular ones at their usual posts. The unit that had been guarding me earlier had disappeared where I left them. Still, they could very likely be watching over me inconspicuously. Khivar's private guard has a tendency to do that.
A few straggles from the party meander across the terrace and through the gardens. Max takes my hand and leads me through a maze of shrubbery. We move rather swiftly. Max doesn't hesitate once. His every step is intent and deliberate. Before long I'm quite disoriented and find myself looking at completely unfamiliar surroundings. But Max treks on and I follow. His pace quickens even more and I stumble to keep up.
Finally he comes to an abrupt halt. He stares into the darkness of the garden, lit only by the triple moons overhead. I follow his gaze and feast my eyes on the object of his fixation.
Cast in the moonlight I see a picturesque fountain. In the middle of it is an obscure, almost spherical sculpture, tribute to some abstract inspiration. I saunter closer and the rock, the statue, appears to be glowing, not only that but the metallic surface appears to have a sort of rippling movement. The luminescent monument begins to take shape the more and more I look at it. The definition changes and suddenly I am confronted with my own image looking back at me. I jerk away from it and accidentally back into Max who has been frozen since he first gazed upon the strange figure before us.
"Max?" I question, a little worried.
"I've never seen it before, not in this life, Liz, but I've seen it at thousand times before that. I knew it was here, and I knew exactly how to get here. Somehow I just knew. I'm drawn to it. It's like it was pulling me here, to this place," Max answer solemnly.
"What is it?" I ask, standing next to him and gazing thoughtfully upon it.
"The Anima. It's sort of an Antarian legend that it's life force, the soul of the planet and the Antarian people. It has an extreme amount of energy but it's never been figured out exactly how to harness it. They have managed to contain only very tiny amounts of it's energy at a time, but that alone it more than enough to raise to dead. It's what the use to create reincarnated hybrids. It is impenetrable and unmovable; no one is sure how our ancestors got it here to the palace grounds. They were more in touch with the Gods, though, and some believe it came to rest here by an act of divine intervention. The fountain was built up around it ages ago. I've heard that the Anima seems to like to say in contact with the elements, especially water," Max replies.
"It's so beautiful," I tell him breathlessly.
"Yes. It is," Max agrees. "It's a shame that no one really cares about all the romantic myths associated with it anymore. Most people now believe that it's simply a random meteor that crashed here, rather than the heart of Antar, and want to use up of all the energy with in it which will virtually destroy it."
"That?s awful. It's such a magnificent part of Antarian history. No one should try to demolish it. I won't let them," I respond frowning.
"Why Liz," Max says somewhat taken aback, "don't you know that the Alliance is the leading contributor in the research that will lead to it's demise? You are your own enemy."
His last comment makes me uncomfortable. I turn from him and take a few steps away, back toward the way we came.
"I should be getting back before they miss me," I tell Max, not looking at him. "Thank you, though. For showing me this."
I start to head back into the maze of vegetation, hoping I can find my way back when Max grabs my arm and spins me around.
"Don't go," Max asserts. "Who are you Elizabeth Parker? This isn't you."
"Maybe you don't know me anymore or maybe you never knew me as well as you thought," I state.
"What have they done to you Liz?" Max asks pulling me into an embrace.
"They saved me," I reply unfeeling, staying limp. "The saved me after you didn't."
"God, Liz. I would have saved you. I would have saved you in a heartbeat if I had known you were alive," Max answers back.
"But you didn't," I retort, pulling away.
"Liz, I thought you were dead. I watch your body be buried. Your dead body, I watched them put it back into the Earth. I never in a million years would have thought that they did this to you, that they brought you back, that you were alive," Max cries.
"Well I am alive, and even before that you didn't save me," I grimace. "You just left me."
I attempt to walk away again, but he yanks me back.
"I love you, Liz. I always have and I always will. Nothing will ever come between us. Not time, not space not Khivar. You are mine and mine alone," Max tells me. "I will never give you up and I never have."
His face is all to close to mine. He's breathing erratically and I notice that my heart is pumping as well.
"You already gave me up," I spew back. "You forgot and engaged yourself to some gorgeous princess. Don't fuck with me, Max. I'm not in the mood."
"Damnit Liz," Max curses. "Don't believe every rumor you here to be the entire truth. It's not what you think. I'm not going to marry her. I could never marry her. I could never marry anyone but you."
"Well that's funny, because it sure looks like you are engaged. It sure looks like you forgot about me completely," I spit at him. "Get your hands off me and leave me alone."
He releases his hold.
"I'm not going to let you marry him, Liz. Not because I want you for myself, but because I know that you don't love him," Max tells me.
"What the hell has love got to do with anything, Max? It's bio-chemically no different from consuming large amounts of chocolate," I snap.
"Liz, you don't believe that," Max responds.
"How do you know? You don't even know me," I yell.
"I do. I know you maybe better than you know yourself, even after all this time. When I first saw you with Khivar I thought they had recreated you like them, to suit their malpractices. But when I was dancing with you I knew you were still you, no matter what they did. You are still the Liz I know underneath all this. I love you, Liz," Max shouts exasperated.
He tugs me into him and unexpectedly kisses me. It's fiery and passionate, exploding, unlike any kiss that ever came before. My insides sizzle as his lips wrestle mine, coercing them open. I tremble in his arms as his tongue tickles mine, sending shock waves down my spine. Max overwhelms me; his presence intices me.
I shove him away with all my strength, every last bit of reserve I have. I push past him, plunging into the sea of darkness, swimming in the shadows. I flee as fast as I can, in any direction, all directions. I just must get away.
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