Because Life Ain't Weird Enough

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Kzinti_Killer
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Because Life Ain't Weird Enough

Post by Kzinti_Killer »

Okay, I just had the weirdest experience this morning. Let me preface this by saying that, just because I live in the Midwest, I am not unsophisticated. I was just caught by surprise, that's all. Yeah, that's my story and I'm sticking to it. Also, when I told this story to my wife, she squealed with laughter for quite a while. So, either I'm a yokel, or I'm the comic relief.

Okay, around 10:15 this morning my mother had an appointment with a plastic surgeon on the other side of town. It was a straight forward assessment of a couple of skin lesions. No big.

So, my mother decides that she needs the girls room, so I escort her out to the rest rooms. While I'm waiting I decide to attend to some business myself. However, the men's room is occupied and the door is locked. So, I settle in to wait, Now, men make entirely different incidental noise when using the facilities. What I was hearing was a man conducting his business standing up. The toilet flushes, the sink runs, and I hear the paper towel dispenser. Then the door opens and out walks a super model. I'm talking tall, slender and shapely, drop dead gorgeous, in a low cut sheath dress, and really "in your face" décolletage. Think Angie Everhart with a Mediterranean complexion, straight black hair, and a flashing neon sign on her chest that says "B**BS HERE". Were I single, this would be the sort of girl that I'd be too scared to ask out. Once my paralysis passed I walked in the bathroom and the toilet seat was up.

WTF? There was just no way....y'know? *shudders*

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Post by dreamer19 »

lmao...oh that was good.
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Icequeen
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Post by Icequeen »

LMAO that was GREAT :lol:
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tinie38
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Post by tinie38 »

lmao lol that was good
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girl afraid
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Post by girl afraid »

Hahaha, that was classic. :lol:
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LovinGuerin2Much
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Post by LovinGuerin2Much »

Im laughing out loud over here. You never know, thats all I can say....
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killjoy
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Post by killjoy »

That had me LMAO I hope you don't mind K.K. but this was sent to me and the title to your thread here just made me have to put it here.

Not even Law & Order would attempt to capture this mess. This is an unbelievable twist of fate!!!!

At the 1994 annual awards dinner given for Forensic Science, AAFS President Dr Don Harper Mills astounded his audience with the legal complications of a bizarre death.

Thus the story: --------

On March 23, 1994...... the medical examiner viewed the body of Ronald Opus, and concluded that he died from a shotgun wound to the head. Mr.Opus had jumped from the top of a ten-story building intending to commit suicide. He left a note to the effect indicating his despo ndency. As he fell past the 9th floor, his life was interrupted by a shotgun blast passing through a window, which killed him instantly.

Neither the shooter nor the deceased was aware that a safety net had been installed just below the 8th floor level to protect some building workers and that Ronald Opus would not have been able to complete his suicide the way he had planned.

"Ordinarily," Dr Mills continued, "Someone who sets out to commit suicide and ultimately succeeds, even though the mechanism might not be what he intended, is still defined as committing suicide. "That Mr. Opus was shot on the way to certain death, but probably would not have been successful because of the safety net, caused the medical examiner to feel that he had a homicide on his hands.

The room on the 9th floor, where the shotgun blast emanated, was occupied by an elderly man and his wife. They were arguing vigorously, and he was threatening her with a shotgun! The man was so upset that when he pulled the trigger, he completely missed his wife, and the pellets went through the window, striking Mr Opus.

When one intends to kill subject "A" but kills subject "B" in the attempt, one is guilty of the murder of subject "B."

When confronted with the murder charge, the old man and his wife were both adamant, and both said that they thought the shotgun was not loaded.

The old man said it was a long-standing habit to threaten his wife with the unloaded shotgun. He had no intention to murder her. Therefore the killing of Mr. Opus appeared to be an accident; that is, assuming the gun had been accidentally loaded.

The continuing investigation turned up a witness who saw the old couple's son loading the shotgun about six weeks prior to the fatal accident.

It transpired that the old lady had cut off her son's financial support and the son, knowing the propensity of his father to use the shotgun threateningly, loaded the gun with the expectation that his father would shoot his mother.

Since the loader of the gun was aware of this, he was guilty of the murder even though he didn't actually pull the trigger. The case now becomes one of murder on the part of the son for the death of Ronald Opus.

Now comes the exquisite twist.. .

Further investigation revealed that the son was, in fact, Ronald Opus. He had become increasingly despondent over the failure of his attempt to engineer his mother's murder. This led him to jump off the ten -story building on March 23rd, only to be killed by a shotgun blast passing through the 9th story window.

The son, Ronald Opus, had actually murdered himself.

So the medical examiner closed the case as a suicide.

A true story from Associated Press.
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Zanity
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Post by Zanity »

Note the above story is not entirely true:

Mills did tell the story but it was a theoretical story... and it was never run in the AP.

Read the following for further info:

Urban Legends Reference Pages: Ronald Opus Suicide
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killjoy
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Post by killjoy »

Zanity wrote:Note the above story is not entirely true:

Mills did tell the story but it was a theoretical story... and it was never run in the AP.

Read the following for further info:

Urban Legends Reference Pages: Ronald Opus Suicide
Ahhhh thank you.THat's what I get for trusting family :roll: :lol:
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killjoy
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Re: Because Life Ain't Weird Enough

Post by killjoy »

The name of this thread fits this perfect.

This falls under the 'what the hell were they thinking?!' :roll: section

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/7222008.stm
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