Hide and Seek (Adult AU/CC) Ch.11 3/28/07 p.10[WIP]

[To_Kiss_A_Frog]

Hello everyone! Sorry for the long wait on this one. I was revising it and then kind of just abandoned it. But here you go, I hope you enjoy! And please remember when reading this that if it seems like I'm overcomplicating anything, it's my intention to do it but it'll work out later, i promise!

Emz80m
begonia9508
LegalAlien
SmileeUK
Ner
Michell in Yonkers
Alien614
flyawayraven
alizaeleven

Chapter 10

Weapon drawn in front of her, Liz stared at the spot where her bullet sat embedded in the rocks. She was unable to look away from it, all the while wondering when anything would begin to make sense. “How did you do it?” she asked in a voice so quiet that it was almost carried away into the night. “How is this all so clean?” Unfortunately it didn’t matter how many times she asked the question, the fact was that she couldn’t come up with a single answer.

Then when the sound of heavy footsteps in the distance met her ears, Liz swung around with her gun still drawn. Quietly, she took a few steps back into the shadows and crouched down to avoid being seen by whoever was roaming the desert.

As he made his way around the cliff, Max looked in all direction for some clue as to where the shot had come from. “Max?” Liz called out when she saw his form carefully approaching. Quickly, she came out of hiding and lowered her gun as he turned and found her standing by the edge of the outcropping. Quickly hitting the safety, she looked up at him and asked, “What’s wrong? What…” and trailed off as he came forward and pulled her into his arms.

For a breathless moment Liz stood stiff in his embrace, wondering why he seemed so frazzled. Then a moment later instinct kicked in and she returned the hug with both arms. “You’re okay, right?” he quietly asked and then released her so he could check her body over for bullet holes or blood stains.

“Of course I’m okay. Why wouldn’t I be?” Liz queried, still thoroughly confused by his actions.

“I heard a gun shot and I’d already seen your SUV parked out there,” Max stated and took a step back when he realized his hands were still grasping onto Liz’s arms. “When I heard the sound, I thought… never mind, it was stupid I guess,” he said, berating. “What was it anyway?” he then asked, noticing the gun she still held in her hand. “What were you shooting at?”

“The ground,” Liz replied then hurried forward with an elaboration when Max looked down at her strangely. “We only have two of the bullets from the hospital because one of them went straight through,” she began to explain, all the while thinking about the body she had revisited in the morgue earlier that day. “That in itself is weird. It doesn’t at all follow the pattern of this killer but the part that really doesn’t make sense is that there were no indentations in the rocks,” she explained and watched as realization dawned on Max’s features.

“Okay, I see what you’re saying but it doesn’t make sense,” Max admitted as he followed her train of thought. “If by some freakish chance, the blood here doesn’t match hers, then how could he have killed her in one place, moved the body without a trail so she could bleed out and then return her home? More importantly, why go through all of that when we only had a small chance of ever finding this place anyway?” he questioned as the two easily slipped into detective mode.

“From the very first victim, nothing about this case has made sense to me,” Liz revealed and re-holstered her gun. “Why rape someone who is already been strangled to death? Or, why shoot someone who has already been raped and strangled to death?”

“Why strangle someone to death?” Max added and shook his head as it once again hit him what exactly they were dealing with.

“Right,” Liz agreed and reached into her kit for a pair of thin forceps. Carefully, she picked the bullet out of the rocks and deposited it, along with the instrument back into her CSI case. “All our psychological profilers have at least a couple different theories,” she added, straightening up again. “The popular theory though is that he was sexually abused as a child. It’s why he rapes the victims. Not because of the sexual thrill it provides but because of the power it gives him,” she attempted to explain though psychology was far from her area of expertise.

“Which brings back the question, why didn’t he do it to Pam?” Max questioned and knew by the expression on Liz’s face that she still didn’t have an answer to that one.

“The detective I work with back in New York still doesn’t have a lead or a link to this one,” she stated and pulled out her own flashlight. Despite the early hour, the sun had already begun to set, darkening the sky enough to make both strain to see details around them. “But he does know that the bullet in my stomach matches the ones in Pam’s chest. So I guess that kind of makes me the link between the two,” Liz quietly added, causing Max to feel more worried than he cared to admit to.

In all their musings, it never occurred to either to mention the previous night they spent together. It seemed that for a short time, they would have to call a truce and put their past on the back burner.

Max was still harboring a lot of anger but none of it was as important to him as ensuring Liz came out of their investigation unscathed.


<center>~&~&~&~&~&</center>


The shrill sound of Liz’s ringing phone caused her and Max to take a break from their search. Almost two hours had gone by and in that space of time, the sun had already completely set while the moon took its place above them. Flashlights had become a necessity rather than a helpful option and as the minutes ticked on it became more obvious that they were no closer to finding an answer than they had been when they first started.

“Hello?” she answered and winced when Ava’s angry voice greeted her ears. Belatedly, Liz realized she should have checked the ID screen before answering. “I know that I haven’t been by since that night and…” Liz trailed off when Ava interrupted, moving on to her next grievance. “Yes, I’m sorry about the chocolate on the door. I just couldn’t find any tape lying around inside Kyle’s cruiser,” she explained weakly.

Nearby, Max didn’t bother hiding his smirk as he imagined the scold Liz was receiving from Ava. By all accounts she was a serene, polite person. Yet when she got upset about something, she had a temper that no one wanted to mess with. Combined with her latest mood swings, if Kyle’s stories were at least half true, she had become an even more formidable force to reckon with.

“No, I’m feeling fine. Really,” Liz said in an attempt to convince Ava that her fainting spell that night had been nothing more than a fluke. “Yes, Ava I realize it’s been a long time and I will go visit again soon. I just have some things to take care of while I’m here,” she explained and hoped that just once more, Ava would accept it without asking too many questions.

As he watched her face, Max felt his smirk fall away. Even if it wasn’t audible in her voice, he could see on her face how she was scrambling to keep Ava out of her work. She didn’t want to put that extra strain of worry on her friend and Max found himself wondering how many times she had evaded the truth in order to protect Ava. He also couldn’t help but wonder if she had ever done that to him.

Suddenly Max began searching his mind for a time during their relationship when she seemed evasive about something. He tried to remember if there had ever been a sign that she was hiding her feelings or anything else he may have missed that eventually led to her leaving so suddenly. His quick search, however, led to a dead end. Max couldn’t find a single thing. As far as he knew, the two of them had been completely open and honest with one another. The only incident he could remember where she acted differently was just after her parents were killed. Then again, anyone would feel out of sorts in the same situation.

“Okay, bye.” He tuned back in as she snapped her cell phone shut. “Did you find anything?” she asked, instantly changing the subject so that Max wouldn’t have the opportunity to comment.

“Why’d you leave?” he asked suddenly.

Surprise was written all over her face. Even with the moon casting shadows over her features, Max could see it. “What?” she asked back after a terse, silent moment. Perhaps she hoped he would tell her to just forget it. That he’d say they could talk about it another time when they weren’t working. He knew that it was what she wanted but he refused to give it to her. Not after all the years he spent wondering if there had been anything he could have done to prevent her from leaving.

“I asked why you left,” Max repeated, meeting her gaze straight on. “Why did you just pack up without a word to anyone?” he questioned but Liz heard in his voice what he refused to ask. ‘Why did you leave me? Why didn’t you say a word to me?’

“Max, we have work to do,” Liz stated in an attempt to dissuade him from the topic at hand. “There’s so much ground to cover and we should just….”

“Stop trying to run circles around everyone,” Max demanded as bits of anger began to seep into his voice. “I listened to you on the phone with Ava and I get it. I know that you’re only trying to protect her by telling stories instead of the truth. But not with me. You’re not trying to protect me, you’re trying to protect yourself,” he stated and shook his head sadly. “You don’t get to be a victim here. Not with me and not with this. I want the truth, Liz. Why did you leave?”

“Max, this really isn’t…”

“Why?” he asked again when she would have just evaded his question.

“Max…”

“Why?”

“Because I was seventeen,” Liz finally exploded, briefly startling Max as she raised her voice. “I was young and angry and stupid. I hated them for dying and I hated you for not being there when I needed you the most,” she yelled because it felt like the only way she could speak. Emotions were rising to the surface, most of which she hadn’t dealt with in a lot of years. Then standing in front of Max, seeing the hurt on his face wreaked that much more havoc on her senses.

The air wasn’t cold but Liz felt chilled to the bone. She wrapped her arms around herself and looked down at the rocks, unsure of how to fix what she’d just said.

Despite any anger she felt, she had never set out to hurt Max. It had just been a casualty of her adolescence and her desire to find a place in the world that belonged solely to her. All the apologies in the world would never be able to make up for what she did but Liz started believing a long time ago that maybe it was for the best. “Everything changed for me that night, Max. Carefree was no longer an option because suddenly there were wills and property deeds and funeral arrangements. Then there was… guilt,” Liz admitted. “I should have been with them that night. Maybe if I had been, I could have somehow prevented what happened. Seen something they didn’t or… I don’t know,” she tiredly shrugged, suddenly deflating now that she’d gotten the hardest part out of her system.

“I know I wasn’t a kid anymore but I was still just terrified. I was lost and…”

“And instead of talking to someone so you could deal with all the things you were feeling, you decided it would be easier to just punish everyone,” Max declared in a low voice devoid of all emotion.

“No, that’s not what happened,” Liz immediately denied though she would have been lying if she said it hadn’t occurred to her a time or twice. “At least not intentionally,” she amended because she couldn’t stand lying to him. Even after all the time that had passed, Liz cared too much about him to lie.

“It doesn’t matter anyway,” Max said dismissively before she had the chance to further explain herself. “I have Savannah and… we’re happy. What happened last night was a mistake and it won’t happen again,” he stated in a way that made Liz feel like she’d just been slapped in the face. Now he was the one lying, she thought. And he was doing it to push her away, back into the deepest recesses of his heart and mind. What hurt even more was that she realized she deserved it.

So just that one time, Liz let him have his lie. At the very least, she owed him that.


<center>~&~&~&~&~&</center>


“Please tell me you have something, Pace because I’m stumped,” Liz admitted on the drive back to her motel. As she talked to the detective she tried to put her conversation with Max out of her mind. “I can’t seem to make sense of anything.”

“That’s because you’re not the detective,” Pace stated though not meanly. If anything, he sounded distracted and the steady hum of noise behind him alerted Liz to the fact that he was still at the station house. “Not that my job is all that much better than yours. We hit a roadblock here too,” he admitted, frustrated. “How’s your stomach?” he added as an after thought while Liz pulled her SUV into the motel parking lot.

There were only two other vehicles in the lot and the neon genie lap sign continuously flicked on and off. Strangely enough, the outside of the building actually appeared to be cleaner than inside the rooms, Liz couldn’t help but notice. “Its fine,” she dismissed and began the short walk to her door. “But, Pace… he killed her because of me, right? It was to send me a message, wasn’t it?” she queried because it was time someone finally said the words out loud. How they all managed to dance around the truth for so long under the guise of detective work was beyond Liz.

She may have hit a roadblock with Max too but one thing their conversation made clear was that it was time she began owning up to the things she was responsible for.

“Where’s this coming from, Parker?” he questioned as the meaning of her words crept into his thought process. Liz could imagine him, pencil poised over whatever he was writing, waiting for her response so that he could answer or explain why she was wrong. The problem was that Liz knew she wasn’t wrong. Not this time and not about this.

It was strange that in a span of a few days, so many things had suddenly become clearer. Maybe it was being back in Roswell or maybe even a delayed reaction to everything that had happened with Jesse. Anger had been first and then came the sadness. Perhaps Liz was moving on to the next phase of acceptance. And the truth of the matter was that two people were now dead because of her. Three, she then thought and unconsciously put a hand to her stomach. Three were gone.

“The shooter was aiming for me and got Jesse instead. Now he’s moved on to a victim in my home town… in my mother’s old house,” Liz stated and turned the single lock once she’d closed the room door behind her. “Whatever was going on before has changed since that night. Now I’m a part of it and even you can’t deny that.”

Detective Pacer was quiet at first, seeming uncertain about what he should say. Liz didn’t blame him though. He was in the tough position of having to hold everything together. The investigation was still on his shoulders with added weight from the local officials. Kathleen was scared and still grieving the loss of a friend and Liz… well she was on the other end of the country trying to help the local fuzz solve a murder case. All the while, the overprotective cop was trying his damndest to take care of his team and prevent another one of them from losing their life.

It was no wonder, Liz thought, that the captain had ordered him to take off on a couple of personal days after Jesse’s murder. Naturally, the department wanted Pace around to gather as much evidence as possible but even the grouchy, hard ass captain could see how all the chaos was affecting his detective.

From what Kathleen said, Pace hadn’t even taken the time to gather his bearings. Instead, he had gone to Massachusetts to talk with Mrs. Ramirez and help with funeral preparations.

“What happened with Ramirez out there wasn’t your fault,” he eventually said. “It could have easily been the other way around. I’m just…well-glad that it wasn’t both of you,” Pace stated and cleared his throat as though he was embarrassed by the admission. “Why it’s all happening doesn’t change much of anything. We still have a job to do and evidence to dig up so just keep on your search down there and we’ll let you know if we come across something up here,” he advised and waited to hear Liz’s quiet answer before hanging up his end.

Tired and still plenty confused, Liz stripped off her clothes and walked into the bathroom. The square mirror hanging on one wall was dingy like everything else in the room but as Liz stood naked in front of it, she looked passed the grime and studied her reflection with a critical eye.

It hadn’t been so long ago that she did the same thing in warmly decorated B&B bathroom. Funny how it seemed a lifetime ago, Liz couldn’t help but think.

The scar still stood out pink and visible against her skin, a permanent reminder of everything that had happened. Not just the shooting but the child she lost. An unplanned pregnancy that was the result of a drunken one night stand. But it sounded so cheap when put that way, Liz thought. Especially since it had been more than that. Maybe it wasn’t love but there had been feelings involved.

Two friends who were trying to comfort one another sounded much better to Liz’s ears.

After that night they went on with their lives and pretended that none of it had happened. Oddly enough, their friendship never once suffered because of it. If anything, their friendship grew because of how much they now understood about one another.

In one night, a single person with a sick and twisted mind not only murdered an innocent woman, but he also killed a man and his unborn child.

[To_Kiss_A_Frog]

Thanks everyone for the feedback! Sorry it took so long But I hope you enjoy this next part.

alizaleven
Emz80m
Ellie
behrluv32
flyawayraven
begonia9508
Michaelle in Yonkers
Alien614
SmileeUK

Chapter 11

“I don’t understand you,” Ava declared and paused from her needlepoint work long enough to give Liz a concerned look. “Why are you staying in a dirty motel when we have a guest bedroom here? Or more importantly, what are you doing here? Not that I’m not glad to see you,” she questioned in a way that made it next to impossible for Liz to feed her another flimsy excuse. “You know, Liz…I had convinced myself a long time ago that we were destined to be phone friends. And now you’re here but… you’re just as distant to me as you were on the telephone.”

It had been just over a week since Liz had come by for the dinner party Ava hosted. Since then she had basically been forced to ignore her friend’s calls because she was too engrossed in the work she was doing and didn’t have an opportunity to halt it all for a visit.

“And don’t make up some story to placate me,” Ava warned as Liz opened her mouth. “I’m pregnant, not stupid.”

“I know you’re not stupid, Ava. I just…” she trailed off with a quiet sigh. “There are just certain things that I can’t tell you. At least not now I can’t,” Liz stated and instantly knew by the expression on her friend’s face that the answer wasn’t nearly good enough. “Please understand,” she softly begged.

“What I understand is that I’m looking at my best friend and all I see is a stranger,” Ava stated and placed her project aside to give Liz her full attention. “Thirteen years, Liz. I’ve put up with the short phone calls and vague answers every time I ask you a question. I know next to nothing about your life including school, jobs and men. Yet you still know everything there is to know about me,” she said, shaking her head regretfully. “I love you, Lizzie but this isn’t fair. You haven’t been fair since you drove away without a word to anyone, including me and Max.”

“I’m sorry if I hurt you when I left but at the time, it was what I needed,” Liz attempted to explain, only to be interrupted by Ava, who obviously wasn’t finished being honest.

“So you’ve said,” Ava stated flatly. “God, Liz… you’ve been running for so long that even when you’re standing still, you’re mind keeps trying to figure out another way to run again. Stop with the excuses and explanations and try the truth. What happened all those years ago and what’s going on with you now?” she questioned. Her blue eyes were piercing Liz’s gaze and dared her to come up with another story to tell.

“Ava, I…”

Disappointment clouding her features, the small blonde turned away with unshed tears in her eyes.

“Alright. You obviously can’t tell me the truth but I don’t have the same problem,” Ava declared icily. “See, once upon you had a great life. A wonderful family, friends and a boy who absolutely adored you. It might not have been perfect but it was so much better than a lot of other people had.” She wanted to somehow intervene but her mouth couldn’t form the words laying stagnant on the tip of her tongue.

It was the last conversation she wanted to have and that was why she let it continue.

“You broke his heart, Liz. If you had physically taken it from his chest, it would have hurt less than the pain you caused by running away from us all that day.” Blunt was something Ava had never really been with Liz in the past. Something buried inside always kept her from pushing too hard or saying too much. If for no other reason than because she was scared of pushing Liz completely away. “He didn’t get over it. Yes, he moved on and he dated other women but he locked away the remaining fragments of his heart. The ones that you somehow managed to walk away without. And now all he has is distance. From them, from us… from everybody and it’s your fault. You need to know that.”

Liz didn’t think that any other words could have hurt her more. At least coming from Ava, someone she had known for more than half her life.

Sometimes the truth is the hardest thing to hear.

While she didn’t blame the petite blonde for her frustrations, Liz did wish that Ava could understand why she had to keep so many secrets. Maybe not about the past but at least about the present. Because she could explain away the mistakes she once made but the idea of telling Ava what had originally brought her to Roswell was something she wasn’t willing to do.

Not if opening up also meant involving her best friend in the horror movie of a situation she was currently immersed in.

“I know that I messed up,” Liz quietly acknowledged while reeling from the brunt emotional attack of Ava’s words. “But you know… I can’t believe that in thirteen years, he hasn’t gotten over me,” she said, unable to help remembering the dark look in eyes that night out in the desert.

There had been anger and the distance Ava talked about but Liz couldn’t possibly imagine that he still felt anything towards her. Proof of it had been the way he walked out after their night together and then lied about it the next day.

Sure, she understood that it was his way of putting space between them. But if he still loved her, he wouldn’t want that space.

“You really do live in a world, all your own… don’t you,” Ava spat angrily. The stubborn tilt of her chin and the blazing anger in her eyes told Liz that she had said the wrong thing yet again. “He wanted to marry you, Liz. He wanted to have a life with you and he wanted grow old beside you but the day you walked away without considering anyone else’s feelings but your own… you sent his world tumbling down around him,” she declared. Shaking her head, Ava couldn’t even look at Liz and instead focused on her discarded home economics project. “At this point, who knows what he feels for you,” she said softly. “Certainly not me and apparently, not you either. But you owe him. Even if you don’t think you owe anyone, know that you’re wrong because you owe him. It’s time to grow up, Lizzie. It’s time to stop being selfish and it’s time you finally stopped running.”

“I-I’m not.” But there was no conviction in her words. The declaration was heartless and sad.

“If you keep telling yourself that, you might actually believe it,” Ava murmured.

The wind blew softly outside and rustled the chimes hanging out on the porch. It was the only sound aside from their quiet breathing. Silence. It was something Liz had grown accustomed to over the years. Maybe not the conventional silence what with living inside a city for so long. Instead it was the lonely silence. The kind that came from having no one to talk to.

“You know I never meant to hurt you,” Liz whispered. Angrily, she swiped at the tears gathering in her eyes, convinced that she didn’t deserve them. “I was just really scared and I felt so alone. One day they were there and one day they weren’t. And I guess I thought it would be best if I really was alone. Because then it wouldn’t hurt if I lost someone again.”

“It doesn’t work that way, Lizzie.”

“Yeah.. I know. I sort of realized it every time you told me about your life. All the things I was missing including a wedding and a child.” All the times you told me about Max, she silently added. “Ava, I just… I need you to understand. It wasn’t about you. It was never about you or anything I thought you did. It was just something I had to do.”

“Which makes all of no sense to me,” she admitted dryly. “Whatever your reasons are, you can’t think that any of them were without consequence. You can’t brush off the fall out just because it was what you needed. That is the point I’m trying to make here. I don’t know about Max but frankly I don’t want to hear excuses, I just want you to take responsibility for your actions.”

Liz couldn’t help but think how much Ava sounded like a mother… and a teacher. Though she supposed she shouldn’t be surprised. Ava had changed a lot over the years. She had grown, apparently more than Liz had if Ava’s words were any indication. “I did miss all of you. Not a day went by when I didn’t wonder about your lives and how you were doing.”

“But the thing is… you didn’t have to wonder,” Ava softly countered. “You could have picked up the phone. You could have asked. But us… we didn’t have that option.”

“Honey, I’m… home. What’s wrong?” Kyle questioned as he walked into the living room and found twin expressions of somberness. He had obviously just gotten off a shift as he was still dressed in deputy browns. A hat was in his hand and a holster still at his side. Curious, Kyle looked between the two women, waiting for one or the other to answer. But when neither did, he couldn’t help repeating the question. “Honey, what’s wrong? Is everything okay?”

Glancing at Liz, Ava lowered her eyes again for just a moment before turning to Kyle with a look of annoyance. “Of course everything is okay! Haven’t you ever seen a hormonal pregnant woman?” Surprised, Liz quickly covered her smile and fixed Kyle with an innocent stare. “Sweetie…” she then added in a sugary voice. “Would you please go to the kitchen and get me some ice cream? I’d love a bowl of Rocky Road.”

Like a fish out of water, Kyle opened and closed his mouth a few times before nodding mutely.

“He likes to use that hormonal female crap to win arguments he knows he’s about to lose,” Ava shrugged. “Well I think it’s only fair that I use it to get what I want too.”

Despite the situation, Liz found herself laughing out loud.


<center>~*~*~*~</center>


“Time’s running out. If this guy is gonna stick to his MO then it’s going to happen again soon.” Frustrated Liz heaved a deep sigh and dropped the papers she had been studying back down on the desk. It was late and the squad room was empty. Aside from the dispatcher sitting half awake down the hall, Max was the only other person around. Liz could only guess that it wasn’t by choice.

“What about your friend at the NYPD? He still doesn’t have any leads yet?” Max queried from where he sat, halfway across the room.

While Liz had been going through pages of evidence, he had been at the dry erase board trying to piece together what they already knew. Needless to say he hadn’t written much since they had more questions than answers. “No,” she shook her head. “Right now my team is buried beneath cases and paperwork. Not to mention all the office politics.” It was no surprise that other detectives in the precinct were criticizing Detective Pacer’s work. From where they stood, it was easy to say that they would do better if the case had been assigned elsewhere and as time wore on, they were starting to make a dent in the captain’s confidence.

The only thing that kept the case in Pace’s lap was the fact that he knew it better than anyone else.

“You know, none of the evidence from the other cases has ever suggested we were working with two killers…” Liz quietly led in. “I mean… why would there need to be two men involved? The women were all petite and unlikely able to put up much of a fight against him. Having someone else there would be pointless unless it was a voyeurism thing,”

“What exactly are you getting at?” Capping the marker he held, Max turned around to face Liz with a curious expression on his face. Not unlike herself, he looked tired and sleep deprived. Something that wasn’t at all surprising considering how few hours they had been getting lately.

“We’ve been taking habit for granted. The fact that this killer has followed the same pattern with every victim,” Liz began and voiced a theory that she had been unable to honestly share with Pace. “But I think we need to analyze everything differently from the point of Jesse’s murder till now.” It still hurt to mention and caused a sad pang of guilt to well up inside her heart. “Because everything changed that night. It hasn’t been the same since.” Max couldn’t tell if she was just talking about the murders or her own life as well.

“I’m listening,” he softly acknowledged.

Even with anger towards her still festering inside, Max wanted nothing more than to catch the killer. It wasn’t just a desire to protect the people of their storybook town but to ensure Liz’s safety. She had been targeted once, however accidental, and he was terrified that the killer would want to come back and finish the job he started in New York.

“The killer was in the park, but why? Did he want to make sure we found the body or did he want to try and get one last peek?” Liz mused aloud and stood up from the noisy rolling chair. Like a teacher lecturing, she paced back and forth in front of the desk with her eyes focused on some unknown spot. “He makes a sound and gets scared. He takes a shot but he aims for me. Why? Jesse was bigger and stronger. Was I just the easier target or is it because of what I look like?”

“But he isn’t in the habit of killing girls like you with a single shot.” The thought of it alone was enough to have Max clenching his fists at his sides. The possibility of what could have been.

Max Evans was not the type of man that would wish harm on anyone but he couldn’t help feeling thankful that her CSI partner stood up first. Immediately after thinking it, a strong wave of guilt would assault his senses. But he accepted it, welcomed it even because the guilt came with the reality that Liz had not been the one killed that night. She was alive and standing right in front of him. No matter how angry she made him or how acutely she hurt him in the past… she was alive.

He could handle everything else.

“Which makes me wonder if we’re dealing with two men or if the killer just got desperate and panicked,” Liz concluded uncertainly.

As the words left her mouth and a look of trepidation covered her face, Max curbed the impulse to ask her more about that night. What he knew had only been revealed to tell another story, one about the scar on her stomach. It had been personal rather professional, not something that could help in their investigation.

Even now, hearing her skim the surface of what happened, he was still loathsome to delve any deeper.

“My hometown, my mother’s old house… I’m the link between the other murders and Pam but why? Why did he want me here unless…” she trailed off. The sentence didn’t need to be completed for Max to understand her meaning. Unless he led her back to Roswell to kill her. “You know, it’s weird when you think about it. Leaving all those years ago because I was afraid led me to a life that might eventually kill me.” It was said softly, almost as if she thought it out loud. Liz didn’t expect a response from Max, didn’t even remember he was there with her until she felt his hand on her arm.

Startled, her gaze snapped up and locked on his blazing amber flecked eyes.

“I’ll be the first one to admit that you’ve made mistakes,” Max said while Liz couldn’t help thinking that it was the first time he had touched her in days. “But you don’t deserve what happened to Pam or those other women. They didn’t deserve it either but they didn’t have anyone around to stop it from happening. It’s where you’re different. You have the sheriff and Kyle and that detective. You have me.” His last words were just above a whisper. Almost as if it cost him a big chunk of his pride to admit it.

“I really messed things up with you, didn’t I?” It was rhetorical but Max cocked his head to the side, gazing down at her appraisingly. She wondered what he would say or if he would say anything at all.

“I guess it doesn’t really matter anymore,” he stated with a half shrug.

With the dim light provided by an aging fluorescent bulb and a faint glimmer of moonlight shining between the blinds, Liz couldn’t help studying the planes of his face. They used to be familiar, comforting. She had been able to recognize every emotion with one look in his eyes. The curve of his lip whether up or down.

He used to lean in, ever so slightly when he was interested in something she had to say. He would stand with one leg slightly farther back than the other when he was angry. A subtle way of putting distance between himself and the person he was mad at.

Now all Liz could see was a desperate attempt to remain indifferent.

She decided it was worse than if he hated her.

Hate was a strong emotion. It meant that he still cared and could muster up the strength to feel something, however hurtful it was. But indifference… it meant that he just couldn’t work up the strength to care. “And why doesn’t it matter?” Liz couldn’t help asking. She knew it would be pouring salt in an opened wound but she had to ask regardless. She needed to know.

“Because when this is over, you’re just going to pack up your things and leave again.”