Roswell Fanatics

Title: Kings and Queens
Rating: Mature for dark subject matter
Disclaimer: Don't own Roswell...don't I wish, but Devonny is and original character and I write my own stuff
Pairings: CC for the most part...all will be revealed soon
Summary: Set after Cry Your Name, only Max didn't sleep with Tess. Max finds himself in a dark place but it might prove to give way to the 'light'...my calender is probably off from the show but understandable I hope. Alex's death occurred, the funeral happened, and Max and Tess met at the observatory about 1 week after his death.

A/N I just came out of lurkdom, I'm totally new and have no beta, so any feedback would be highly appreciated if you keep in mind that this is my first go



Chapter 1


Liz

'Self-mutilation.' That's what the guidance counselor said as we sat in class on Monday. I didn't pay much attention after that, as she droned on and asked us- "If any of you feel that?"..."If you know what that means?"..."You can come to me or any other responsible adult you know and we will help you."

It sounded pretty much the same as the speeches given out in class after Alex died. I still can't get over it though, 'self-mutilation.' The dictionary definition being: Deliberate injury inflicted by a person on his or her own body, and may be aimed at relieving unbearable emotions, sensations of unreality and numbness.

What could Max Evans have done to deserve the marring of his perfect body?

Well, there are rumors, of course. The top circulating being that he was driven by grief over the death of his gay lover, none other than Alex C. Whitman. It's actually my favorite, but I know the real truth.

I've been there before myself. Hanging on to the knowledge that despite what I made Max believe, I haven't betrayed Max to keep myself from engaging in a little healthy 'self-mutilation.'

Max Evans almost had sex with Tess Harding last Friday night. After all that went down between us, he still felt like he had committed a betrayal. A betrayal deep enough to warrant the practical shredding of every reachable patch of skin on his body.



--let me know how this sounds so far guys, and not all chapters will be this short --

A/N- Thanks for all the feedback. I was really excited to see you guys were interested. This is one of about 3 parts already written so my updates will slow a bit. enjoy.


Chapter 2

His poor mother found her 17 year old son lying in the bottom of the shower at 3:40 AM naked, passed out, and having lost enough blood to kill a large grown man. An ambulance was called almost immediately after Diane Evans' scream of bloody murder, or rather, suicide.

He was taken to the hospital hanging on by a thread as an indescribably distraught Isabel Evans tried to explain why the situation was worse than it appeared between her racous sobs. Her parents' fresh sadness mingled with confusion as Isabel adamantly protested giving Max blood from any donors of the hospital's bank.

At 4 AM, thanks to the spectacular driving of some Roswell EMTs, Max Evans had arrived at the hospital and Isabel and Michael Guerin were donating blood in the hopes that Max wasn't too far gone to save. Tess Harding arrived 10 minutes later and graciously agreed to donate blood as well. How curious that they should all have had the same type O blood...?

At 4:30 AM, Max Evans was fighting for his life on top of an operating table in the ER as quite a few doctors buzzed around him. They stitched and marveled at how well it went while guessing at expected recovery time.

At around 7 AM, the time I was dragged to the hospital by an increasingly hysterical Maria with my parents in a car behind us, it was announced that Max Evans was stable and had a 'highly probable' chance of surviving the whole 'ordeal' without 'significant scarring.' They must have meant on the outside.

At 7:20 AM, my parents and Max's, Tess, Maria, Michael, Isabel, and the sheriff had been completely filled in on everything, and I was sitting at Max's bedside. I sat there alone for at least an hour paying no attention to anything. Anything besides him, I mean.

This was, of course, after I made my mad dash for the nearest scalpel after I became informed of what had happened to Max. Once again, with that 'self-mutilation' thing.

It actually took 3 grown men to hold me down and stop me from entering that room with a scalpel to pay penance for the role in my beloved's almost-suicide. Thank you Dad, Mr. Evans, and Sheriff Valenti.

"Keeping the streets safe, one demented freak at a time."

I laughed out loud as I sat beside Max. I was in the 'hysterical phase', not found in the school pysch 101 text, but known by all. That's the phase of dealing with traumatic experiences in which everything becomes insanely hilarious, hence the word 'hysterical.'

It was right after that sentence that Max almost scared the life out of me, ironic as that sounds...he laughed softly before speaking in a raspy, deep voice.

"I pray to G-d this means you don't hate me. I really might just have to kill myself thi--"

But I cut his words off with a gentle finger against his lips accompanied by a quiet yet vehement, "No!" He must've known what I meant I suppose because he nodded, relieved as I asked to lay with him.I was apparently in the 'dead-tired phase' then because once we were both comfortably situated the two of us fell right asleep.

I didn't wake up till half past 10 AM on Saturday when the staff became insistent that it was critical to Max's recovery that I get up off his bed, and told me my parents said I needed come home. Still, I only left at the promise from both parties (parents and staff) that I could come back anytime.

...And once this naive counselor stops droning I might just take them up on their offer.

A/N: I said I'd have this out by Tuesday, but if you've read my author's note then like I said school's been hectic and I won't have part 4 until Friday probably.


Chapter 3

Max

I've been staring at the clock since I woke up and counting the hours till Liz comes back to me. Of course, that was much to my parent's annoyance as they were trying to have a serious conversation with me about my 'incident.'

I did catch the finer points about promising never to do it again, never to scare them like that again, and to go into therapy. What they didn't yet know though, was that I had no intention of agreeing to the therapy and the trick was that what my mother doesn't know can't scare her. I spoke up with my answer to their demands.

"I'm not going into therapy, Dad. If they don't know what's going on, they can't help me. You'd only be wasting your money again like over the summer. I'll never do this again I swear to you. I was in a really bad place, but now I know I'll never be there again. I'd actually rather not talk about it."

I wasn't off to a good start, judging by the flaring of my dad's nostrils. The way my mother's eyes bugged out was also an indicator, but I continued.

"Liz has already forgiven me and is moving on, so am I. You guys should as well, in fact you should just forget it happened. I don't want to worry you."

As their body language had indicated before, that was obviously not the answer they wanted, but before they could start in with the lecture, my angel arrived.

As she got closer, I noticed she was in stride with two others. A girl about her height with chocolate brown skin and a friendly face was directly to her right. Despite her pleasant countenance she seemed nervous, shooting glances around her at the hospital atmosphere and clutching tightly to the drawstrings of the nike backpack-bag she carried.

To the right of both women was a guy in a hoodie with long black hair, hanging like a small curtain over his eyes. He looked more confident than his companion, but I could see looking closely his motions were tense. His hair, the hoodie, and his distance prevented me from getting a good look at his features, but his face was still familiar though partially obscured. Catching my eye, he shot me a small smirk and...

...I'm in shock...

A/N: my verb tenses might be off so sorry Interesting questions from you guys, thanks for the feedback--

clueless
Sprayadhesive- nope, not serena...you'll have to wait a bit longer to find out about the Evans
dreamerfrvrp3
kittens-we'd hate for the FBI to come knocking, huh?
begonia9508-you'll know this chapter




Chapter 4

Liz

He's looking like he'll go into overload. If I was him I might be too though, so I can't blame him. It's not everyday a human-alien hybrid meets his 'dead' clone.
_______________________

Zan had found me earlier today, 'accidentally' bumping into me at school. I had been skipping out of 6th bell to go see Max when he had run into me, feigning confusio aas it was his first day at West Roswell.

His rough exterior (the tongue and eyebrow piercings, dark denim jeans, 5 o'clock shadow, long hair, and of course the tatoos) had been contradicted by his soft eyes, earning him my trust.

I had folowed him cautiously to an empty classroom to allow him to explain himself, only to find another girl fidgeting with her books at an empty desk.

If I hadn't already felt somfortable with Zan, the tone he used with her sealed the deal. It had reminded me of the quiet humor Max exhibited when comfortable.

"Dev, in the grand scheme of things, I think this is a little more important than bein' on time to class ya first day of school." He had finished with what I would come to know as his trademark smirk before sitting on an empty desk facing me.

"I'm Zan, Max's dupe. Contrary to what Rath told ya, and despite their best efforts..." His eyes had flashed in anger, presumably recalling the past, "I'm not dead. Cal, he's the other protecter, saved my life and took me to L.A. for a while. I went to school, yadda yadda, and decided to come meet ya'll."

There were more holes in his story than a hunk of swiss, so I had replied appropriately, "What?"

The girl had then stood up, shaking her head, and came to sit by Zan on the desk. I'd noticed as she stood that she was about my height, give or take an inch. I had given her the once over as I had come in, but hadn't caught how contrary to Zan she was in appearance before then.

'Dev', as Zan had called her, had brown skin, making Zan's literally 'pale in comparison.' She had on a bright teal t-shirt with the saying, 'What's Your Flava?' printed on white lettering across the front. The height difference had also been noticable. She had kind of looked like the anti-Zan, but that might've been what drew them together.

Her words had distracted me from my musings then, "I'm Devonny. That's, as you already know, Zan."

She had gestured to her right and went on. "He was pushed in front of a bus, and his 'Nasedo' saved his life. Cal lives in L.A., and he stayed there for a while, started school and learned from Cal. We met in California and when he decided to some find you guys, I cam along. We're here for good...we hope. If ya'll don't mind?..."

Thte hopefulness in her voice made me laugh a little. "I don't own Roswell. If you're sincere we'd love you both to stay."

They'd smiled, but frowned seconds later after my groan. I'd forgotten about appearances. Roswell was a small town.

"We'll need a realistic cover story to tell people. You'll obviously have to be Max's brother..." I had begun to pace.

"Zan was living with their uncle after their parents abandoned them. They've been looking for Max, Isabel, and Michael ever since Cal knew they'd been abandoned. Cal's PI found them and now Zan's come to get to know his family. Does that sound good?"

Her ready answer had caught me off gaurd, and had put a quick end to the pacing. "I, uh, yeah. But, um..." My voice got lower, "Max is in the hospital. He--"

"What?!" It was the strongest reaction I had yet seen from Zan. "What happened? Was there any blood? Did you get it up?"

At that point the sarcasm had come flooding back. I had laughed at the irony of Zan's second question. "He tried to commit suicide. 'Self-mutilation,' did you miss the class lectures? There was blood all over his bathroom, but the sheriff promised to help us touch base. He's in on us. It's a very long story."

The trademark smirk had worked its way back onto Zan's face. "I'm sure you can explain it to us on the way to the hospital."

Rolling her eyes, Dev had sighed, "Just promise me I'll graduate, please. My parents will come after you...again. If you thought she was scary before, " she had then turned to me. "My mother...the only woman alive in the world capable of scaring Zan Harrison."

"Wait till you meet Maria..." It was gonna be one hell of a day...

A/N: I know I've held off in posting but I wasn't sure I liked the tone of my story in this next part but while I'm not completely happy I'll never get any further unless I move forward...tell me what you think and thanks Natalie36 and clueless for the feedback BTW, the rintone comes from the song Don't Speak by No Doubt.


Chapter 5

Max

I shifted my eyes back and forth between my parents, my 'dupe', and the girl. I still wasn't entirely sure who they were and didn't want to give anything away. Before my parents came in to 'talk' I'd had time to think about the danger I'd put everyone in, so at first I'd welcomed the escape from my thoughts that Mom and Dad brought. I assumed that Michael and Isabel found some way to help the sheriff cover for me in terms of evidence, not to mention some explanation to our parents.

..At least, I hope they kept Mom and Dad in the dark. They hadn't brought anything up, but then agian what would they say?

'It's okay, son. We know you're an alien' or 'We're disowning you, but we just wanted to chek on you first.'

"Max?" I turned my head up to meet Liz, noticing everyone's eyes on me. Mom's hand covered her mouth and my dad looked more confused than he had that one time when Is tried to 'help' him organize his office. Zan's face still held a smirk and the girl was biting he bottom lip, most likely a nervous habit.

"This is Zan, everyone. He's Max's brother from L.A." She gestured to him, then turned toward the girl, who tucked her hair behind her ears. It would've been a perfectly normal act, except that her hair was up in a ponytail right then. "And this is Zan's girlfriend Devonny Walker."

"It's nice to meet you." The smile Devonny flashed was genuine, despite earlier nervousness, and the effect it had on her face was striking. I found myself marveling at her features, She had large cheeks and the smile had brought a flattering almond shape to her light brown eyes. For some odd reason, despite the obvious differences she reminded me of Liz.

It was unnerving, given recent events involving Tess. Even more so, because Tess had never reminded me of Liz. My attraction to her felt unnatural from the first moment, but with Devonny I felt oddly comfortable...a tad too comfortable.

"Zan's girlfriend?"

At her nod I felt reassured. If she was with Zan, she wasn't interested in me. It was ironic I should feeel better considering he was me, but was more relaxed. "It's nice to meet you both. If you don't mind, how did you find me?"

I knew it wouldn't be the truth, so my question was more for my parents' benefit. They must've been suspicious already because I wasn't all that surprised about my 'twin'. The years of had me trained well though, for I was running through the little bullshit corner of my mind looking for answers.

"Cal, my...our, I guess, uncle took me in after our parents abandoned us. He hired more detectives than ya can imagine trying to find ya guys. This last P.I. we hired found ya and I decide to come meet my family. It was just me and him for the longest time and I'd always wondered about ya. If ya don't mind, I wanna stick around here a while. We'll have plenty of time to sort things out, answer questions, ya know."

I glanced at my parents, partly to see if they believed, and partky to see if they approved. In a real situation like this parents ended up feeling replaced or unaccepted. It wasn't like I'd done much to reassure them they were enough for me over the years. Even a few months ago I made my mother feel just that way.

"We'd love that...Zan. Do you both have a place to stay? Our place might be cramped but--" I should've known Mom would come through. She looked past appearances and gave the benefit of the doubt, like with Michael.

"Family of Max is family of Diane and I. Well, Max and Isabel...You said 'you guys' and I assume you meant the both of them then?" As he gathered Mom and I into his embrace, his warmth wasn't detectable among his lawyer speech. By the way Dad gripped my shoulder, which was thankfully somewhat numb, I could tell it was fear combined with Zan's somewhat shady appearance that put him into his 'lawyer mode'. He'd almost lost me and then my family pops out of the woodwork threatening his family again.

"Thank you, Mrs. Evans. Zan and I meant that we really plan to stick around. Cal's paying utilities on a new apartment and we've already transferred to West Roswell. Zan and I don't wanna stir up your lives or anything. He just wants to get to know his family. Max, Isabel, and Michael." She finished with perfect timing, as her cell phone rang seconds after her lips closed around her last word.

The 'Don't Speak' ringtone must've been personalized because she fished the phone out of her bag and handed it to Zan without looking at the screen. "Cal."

Zan took the phone, answering with a quick, "Hello" before covering the mouthpiece with his hand. "Look, it was nice meeting ya. I got a few things to take care of so I'll get at ya later. Liz has my number." With that he left the room with Devonny following close.

I looked to Liz, who nodded and came closer to my bed. "We met i the hallway and they wanted to come see you when they found out you were in the hospital. I'm sorry if it bothered you."

She grabbed my hand and gently rubbed her thumb across the back of my hand in a gesture so soothing that, were I actually angry, I would have forgotten anyway. As it was, I wasn't angry so not only did I shake my head no, I also gave her a small reassuring smile.

"Max, Zan said 'Max, Isabel, and Michael.' Does that mean, I mean...have you gone looking for Zan before?"

I was torn about whether to lie to my mother or not. After the hell she went she must've went through till I came out of surgery, she deserved as much of the truth as I could give her. Liz squeezed my hand in anticipation and I took a deep breath. "Yes."

Looking at her face one thought stuck out above all others. I'd let you borrow my nails but they clipped them. I reppresed my laugh, not wanting my parents to think I was unhinged...although it ws probably too late for that.

I wanted so badly to wipe the lok from not only Mom's, but Dad's eyes that I said words I never thought would come out of my mouth with sincerity. "I'll talk to the therapist."

A/N: Well, I am sorry I've taken so long but exams are Tuesday for me and I've been trying to boost my 4th quarter grade and study at the same time, like the slacker that I am... I hope you all like this next part!


Katydid - the light's coming slowly...Max still has a lot to get through first. This part's gonna hurt a little.

begonia9508 - I don't know if they were "great" parts lol. I think two 'Maxes' will do more harm than good when it comes to Tess, but I'm a biased little dreamer

clueless - thanks for the feedback.

Natalie36 - thank you for the feedback.

erinkatie - she won't be causing trouble...you'll see why he reacted hopefully in a few parts.


Chapter 6

Max

I was dirty. I was beyond dirty. That was the basis of my thoughts as I took off from the planetarium like a bat out of hell. I needed to cleanse myself, cleanse myself of the dirt and sin, purge the betrayal from my body.

I was gone, into some dark and hidden part of my mind. But I wasn't too far gone to be so careless as to make a noise as I crept back into my house like all bad things creep...I was careless enough to try and shower at 3:00 in the morning though, as I stripped myself of my clothing and stepped into the shower stall.

Hot. "It won't be clean unless the germs are burned off"-- the words from some medical documentary echoed in my head, and I turned the knob as far as it could go in the direction of the red strip indicating heat.

'I'm dirty. She won't want me if I'm dirty. I have to get it all off. All of it.' The voice rang in my head told me. It was the inner me talking, the one only let out that night with Kyle. 'What I really think', the words I spoke to Kyle hung fuzzily in my mind. I still don't remember that night of drinking.

I grabbed the soap from the shower caddy right below the spigot and I scrubbed...and scrubbed, and would have kept on only scrubbing if I hadn't been so far gone.

But I was. So I listened as some part of me explained that I'd never be truly clean unless I got below the surface. 'Scratch below the surface', the expression came to me. So I scratched. I scratched at my skin. Everywhere I could reach until it became a bloody mess.

________________________

"So you were only trying to clean yourself with this scratching, yes, Max?"

"Well, yes, but I know that scratching yourself won't get rid of dirt. I-I wasn't really 'dirty' either, I just felt dirty. I was in a bad place, but I'm better now."

Although I had given my parents my aqcuiescence, I was still uncomfortable in Dr. Goode's office. Her name alone had given me the creeps, like this was all some sort of trap, but I was willing to try this time.

"Better?"

"Well, I spoke to Liz and she forgives me, so..." I left it open ended. I wasn't sure about the 'so' part myself.

"And your 'epidode' was all about this 'Liz' wasn't it?"

I didn't like her tone and I did not want Liz to become some sort of scape goat in this, especially since they'd probably discourage, if not forbid me from seeing her. "No. I did this on my own. I just had this...voice telling me I should do it."

"This voice." She nodded to herself and scribbled some things down on my file. This was definitely not going well. "Do you hear this voice a lot? Does it tell you to do other things?"

I sighed in disbelief at where this was goingand shook my head at the cliché. "No, it does not. It's not a real voice. It was like my conscience or something. I was commited to someone, and I almost betrayed them. Are you understanding waht I'm saying here?" I was annoyed, but tried not to let it show in my voice as I spoke.

"I mean, I just told you something I haven't told anyone yet and you're sitting there asking questions you should know. I told you what happened and why, Dr. Goode."

"Yes, Max. I know what happened, but I'm trying to get at your true feelings, find out what led to this so it won't happen again. Do you understand?" She remained calm as she spoke.

"I already promised I won't do it again."

"And if you're in another 'bad place'? Your family seems to think it possible. The file from over the summer at Dr. Frese's office has notes on moodiness, silence, extended time spent alone." She held up the file. "It also seems these behavior habits revolve specifically around Liz. She was gone to Florida over the summer, was she not?"

"That was...not about Liz, and I didn't kill myself then. I wasn't trying to end up in the hospital after my 'accident'. It was an accident. People are allowed to spend time by themselves also. The information in that file didn't come from me either." I remembered vividly the terrible moment in Dr. Frese's office months ago. "I was too...uncomfortable to speak. My parents forced me to go and they only knew what they guessed about what was going on."

"Okay, Max." More notes, but she seemed satisfied. "Could you tell me why you were uncomfortable in Dr. Frese's office?"

I heard the buzzing coming from the water pump on the fish tank in her office as I debated my answer.

"I don't like hospitals. They scare me. Can we move on?"

There was another buzzing-filled silence as she decided her answer. "We can leave it for today." She glanced at her expensive watch. "Our time is up anyway." She gave me a warm smile as I all but bolted out of my chair in the office. "Bye, Max. Thank you."

As I rounded the corner in the hall, I saw Zan waiting in the lobby. We hadn't spoken sincce his hospital visit Monday. Today was Thursday, which would be the scheduled day for my visits to Dr. Goode from now on. I had just been released yesterday. I could walk and all, but I was on pain killers for the scratches and steam burns. Even if my parents hadn't taken my car priveledges away, I still wouldn't be able to drive for about a month.

"I figured I'd drive ya, if ya don't mind. We could talk. Did ya know I was in therapy back in L.A.?"

I looked at him in a new light. We could become very close. I smiled at him, remembering his bus 'accident'. "That'd be great. Where are you staying again?"

He shot me a knowing smirk. "At Micheal's apartment complex. Only, mine doesn't look like such a dump. Dev's got a talent for decorating." He pulled out keys to his silver SUV as we came to it in the parking lot. "Mike likes asking questions, too. He's not very patient, is he?"

I shook my head no. "Not in all the time I've known him."

"Ya might not like me anymore soon, because if he asks me anymore questions I'm gonna pop him one in the face." He gave me an odd look as he climbed in the driver's seat, probably for the chuckling. I stopped and glanced around before look back at him.

"I did once." I felt like a normal teenager as Zan started laughing with me. It was a stark contrast to the dark story I told in Dr. Goode's office not too long ago. Giving Zan a once-over, I compared him to the old image I'd gathered of him from the dupes. He must've made some big changes. "So, you mentioned you went to therapy?"

He shifted into drive and pulled out of the lot. "Yeah. Just kinda direct me as we go. I haven't been to your house. I went to the Crash yesterday though..."


___

Please let me know of any typos you see. My brain's been melting lately so I'm sure there are some I didn't catch, sorry...

A/N: So, because I'm really weird, I left an A/N saying I'd try to have the part for Saturday and I'm posting it the same day I left the note! lol Anyway, hopefully I did well with the new POV's. Don't be afraid to let me kno!


Natalie36- I'm sorry I'm a little late in the coming lol Hope it's worth the wait though

clueless- Thank you!

begonia9508- Zan never really viewed Liz as a problem, but he is being real helpful to Max...and the things you do for my self esteem


Chapter 7

Philip

'I should never had said anything.' Max had come into the house two hours after his appointment. I'd seen the unfamiliar SUV in the driveway because I'd been listening for an engine since I'd come home early from work.

When Zan had stepped out from the driver's side and wrote his number on my son's hand, I'd felt uneasy. The small smiles they'd exchanged were odd not only because of their similarity, but because I could hardly get Max to smile like that at me, his father.

I only wanted to warn him to be wary of Zan, who we barely knew. I wasn't happy that he didn't say he'd be almost two hours late coming home when he was basically grounded.

I apparently attacked Zan's character because I was insecure about my position in my son's life right now and I was trying to drive away the only person who understands what he's going through.

'It's a sad day when your 18 year old son needs to explain what you yourself are going through when he doesn't know what's going on with himself. What a mess.'

I couldn't wait until Diane came home. First, she'd check on Max. She'd ask how therapy went and what he did all day before 'offering' him something to eat. Then, she'd come downstairs and rip me a new...something for upsetting Max. After that, I'd go upstairs to apologize and ask Max to call next time he'd be out for a while somewhere.

For the time being, Max would stay holed up in his room and I would take advantage of the vodka in my office. I wasn't prepared for any of this and I needed to calm my nerves for all our sakes. After all, the world wouldn't stop because of my family crisis and work was still piled on my desk at work. Taking a break wouldn't pay the recently accumulated bills.

"How'd it come to this, Phil? How are we going to fix this?" Because I would fix it. I'd worked too hard creating my family to let it go to pieces, no matter what it would take. 'And it may take some reinforcements', I thought as I dialed the familiar number into my office phone.

"Hello, Mom? If you're still a bored retiree, we'd love to have you stay with us in Roswell for a while. I haven't spoken to Diane yet, but I think we could use your help..."

____________________________

Diane

"Philip", I turned toward my husband propped on hi pillow against the headboard next to me in bed, "I'm not angry with you. I understand that this is hard for you and you aren't trying to push at Max. I think having you mother here will be good. She's raised two children up into wonderful men, and we might honestly be over our heads a bit."

I closed my book and threw the covers my legs, getting up out of bed. "We'll ask the children tomorrow over breakfast and if they say yes, we'll fly Susan up right away. Now, I'm gonna go check on the kids one last time."

Max

I heard the knock one the door and quickly turned off my computer monitor before moving to the bed.

"Yeah, Mom?" She peeked her head around my door for another check-up.

"Getting ready for bed?" At my nod, she smiled and closed the door back. "Goodnight, Max."

As her footsteps retreated, I crept back to my desk chair and turned the monitor back on. Thought I'd never had much use for Instant Messenger before, I'd quickly discovered its joys after Zan's reccomendation. He'd suggested it on the way home after describing his experience at The Crashdown, with the staring of nosy patrons and the unceasing wuestions from the 'group'.We'd been conversing for about 30 minutes, beginning with some light ribbing for my SN: DESTiNY_LP.

I'd countered with a jib at his: CaliSunshine, very masculine and totally fitting for a guy like Zan. He went on to explain it was from some time in California with Devonny and gave me her screen name as well: Queenie_Zan7. I had to stifle my laughter over how absurdly conspicuous it was, but Zan thought it was "too cute to make her change."

We ended up talking more about his therapy, but he was 'tight-lipped', so to speak, over his relationship with Dev when I mentioned how she seemed familiar to me.

He did promise to explain once we'd all got together, which would hopefully be Saturday night. The only obstacle would be my parents but I was sure I could win them over before then into letting us all hang out over Zan's.

When I snuck over to bed I felt good about the day and hopeful about Saturday. Tomorrow was another story though, as I was going back to school. My choice, but I'd been kicking myself ever since I made it. My friends would all be there, but so would the entire student body, who'd been gossiping like crazy since Monday, and even more fearsome, Tess. Saturday couldn't come soon enough!

I was very angry about an hour ago, when my left wrist pressed some button on my keyboard and deleted everything I had put into the 'post reply' box, after I had spent 4 hours typing between my brother's aim conversations I'm calmer now because I've finished so...I'll answer your feedback now. Sorry it's been so long since I posted I know how it feels to wait and I hope this satisfies you patient readers

clueless- thank you.

begonia9508- thank you. Philip's feeling a lot of different things right now, a lot's going on...and things aren't mellowing down anytime soon.

Natalie36- sorry I kept you waiting so long. I hope you like the part.

roni230- what a very nice compliment! it made my day and I hope you'll leave more feedback. sorry i'm so slow with the updates too.



Chapter 8

Diane

"Susan?!" I was truly shocked when she came through the back door off to the side of the kitchen, a small duffle clasped on her left arm. I turned to Philip on my left, and was about to lay into him on how 'ask the kids' does not mean 'fly your mom up overnight', but I noticed that he too carried a look of surprise.

"Are you gonna pay the poor taxi driver or what, Phil?" SHe came fully into the kitchen and set down her bag. "How are my grandkids?" As she spoke, Susan came up to the table, patting Max and Isabel on their heads.

'Oh L-rd...' I set down my cup of OJ as Philip got up to take care of his mother's taxi. I was frightened of the unreadable faces of my children. Setting down his fork, Max surprised me by speaking up first.

"Hi, Grandma. Came down to check me out for yourself?" His tone wasn't bitter, but tinged with dark humor and I decided to let things play out.

"Max!" Isabel did see fit to intervene. "Sorry, Grandma. This has been a kinda tough time for all of us." She attempted to sugar things up. "Did you get you hair cut? It looks shorter than last time."

It didn't work, as Susan only patted Isabel's cheek, winked, and sat herself directly across from Max. Helping herself to a bite of Philip's eggs, she answered Max.

"If you must know, you're a boatload more exciting than the Fisher Grove Retiree Comuunity...and I love you just a tad more." She flashed Max a smile. "You know I couldn't resist meeting the new family members either. I hear you have a twin, and you just may not be my favorite grandson anymore." Max looked slightly put out.

"You think Zan'll want to exchange tattoo stories with an old lady like me?" I laughed outright and Max gave Susan a genuine, albeit small smile. It was in his eyes as he replied to my dear mother-in-law.

She'd gotten a small angel tattooed on her ankle around the time we'd officially adopted Max and Isabel into the family, to commemorate our 'miracle'. It was one of the few spontaneous moments in Susan Evans' life, but she'd been almost as delighted as we had.

"I'll ask Zan at school. I'm sure he'd love to, he's a lot more...outgoing than I am..." he looked up at Philip, who stood propped against the archway, "but Zan's a good guy."

"One thing's for sure, Mom. He's better at picking cars. I wouldn't have felt nearly as edgy when Max and Izzy learned how to drive if Max had an SUV instead of that darn jeep. Maybe you could learn a thing or two from him, Max." Philip's voice was light, but his peace offering to Max was clear. He must've remembered the angel too, and how blessed we were for a family. Ours was just expanding.

______________________

Max

I would've given my right arm to be back at the breakfast table...or maybe just my left. Liz had just slid her hand into my right one, and the walk of doom became that much more bearable. The whispers were still just as audible, if not more, but I was 100% sure that Liz and I back together was not just wishful thinking on my part.

As we came to my locker, I felt like I entered my own tv show. It was one of those shows where all the characters fall into step behing the star, like in the beginning credits. I vaguely remembered the opening credits to Entourage and Angel, before grimacing. My show needed a better theme song, and I clearly needed to reduce my pain med dosage.

On the whole though, my first morning back wasn't turning out to be complete medieval torture. Twelve feet, and I'd be free...or at least to homeroom. I made made it to the door and we all stopped. Liz would not be joining me, but before she walked to her own homeroom with Maria she kissed my cheek.

Michael and Alex both gave me, respectively, a short nod and a friendly smile. Zan, of course smirked, before clapping me on my good shoulder and heading off with Dev, who shot me an encouraging smile of her own. They got halfway down the hall before I remembered I was supposed to ask them over for dinner, but I figured I could ask him later at lunch.

As I came through the door, I was surprised at the lack of acknowledgement, but then I noticed Isabel patting the desk next to her with a 'you look, and I'll kill you' look. I almost wanted to laugh as I noticed the teacher avoiding my gaze as well, looking anywhere but the back table I just reached. I guessed that assigned seats must not have been important today. 'Thank you, Mrs. Naylor. Chalk one up to the icequeen'. I slid myself into my chair and tried to get as comfortable as my bandages would allow me, willing the clock hands closer to lunch hour.

Liz

As she swept through the door into our homeroom 4 minutes late and looking like she hadn't slept in days, I tried to find pity in my heart. I
tried to feel bad for her, to feel understanding. Sadly, taking in her unkempt curls and wrinkled clothing, I could not rouse up any feeling other than the quiet, seething anger that normally came up...only this time, the anger felt amplified. How dare she? How dare she look as if she had been put through the ringer?

If she dared ask me how he was, I'd go off. Judging from the soft growl-like noise emitted next to me, Maria would back me up. I could take her on my own anyway, but I didn't have to either way. She just slid quiety into her seat with a mumbled apology to the rambling teacher. Luckily, the bell interrupted Mrs. Hardy and I didn't have to spend another minute around Tess Harding until chemistry.

As I made my way to English with Maria, we were joined by Devonny. Her studay hall was across the hall from Maria's and my class adn she used the 5 minute class change to get to know us a little better. Besides a hospital drive and a trip to the Crashdown, we hadn't really talked. At the moment, she was making Maria laugh with her impression of Michael so far. He had apparently shown up at her and Zan's apartment everyday since they moved in.

"I thought he had a job? If he wants, he can get a job as Zan's punching bag soon. Or, one of those 20 questions games, the way he asks questions." This was followed by a good-natured eye roll.

"Maybe if we could find a box. I like the punching bag idea better anyway." They both chuckled and I smiled absently.

My mind was still on Tess and Max. I didn't want to think about it, but we definitely needed to talk to her. Preferably, before she ran into Max on his own. I decided if he wanted to skip third period I would too. 'I don't wanna see that b*tch either.'

When I got in class I checked the clock, hoping it would tick faster till lunch. It would get better from there and I'd get a half hour with Max if we didn't skip chem.

"You're killing me." I received a worried glance from Maria and elaborated, "The clock. I can't wait for lunch."

She shot me a sympathetic look as she pulled out paper for notes and I looked up to notice 'LECTURE' on the board. Just frickin' great...

Hi everyone! I'm posting, but I have to warn you that it's very short. I'm trying very hard to write but I'm just not feeling it lately. Thank you all very much for your feedback, cause it's really what's keeping me on for now.

begonia9508- yes, Susan is a great grandmother and I'm glad you're looking forward to her meeting with Zan and Liz. My crashed computer still holds my banner captive, but I am spoiled so I have this one

behrluv32- thank you. you'll have to wait a bit longer for Liz to spill the beans

clueless- thank you for reading

roni230- thank you. Tess has a lot to answer for. everyone is pissed at her



Chapter 9

Max

I ran. I really couldn't help myself. I saw the back of her head, covered with blonde wavy hair and I felt sick. As I turned around and cleared the end of the hallway, I leaned against the intersecting wall there and took deep breaths through my nose.

I felt weak. All my former confidence about the day slid out from under me. While I struggled to keep my breakfast down, I saw Devonny approaching me with worry etched on her features. 'Help'.

My body lost some tension as she reached me, placing a gentle hand on my wrist. "Hey Max." She lowered her voice. "I saw her go into the classroom, Max. Liz is in the eraser room...if you happen to be headed that way." She nudged me down the hall towards the eraser room with a soft smile and I went eagerly, hoping to feel again the security I had felt before homeroom.

"Bye, Max." I only half heard her as I hurried to meet Liz. Closing the door, I slid down the floor in relief and searched for my angel. She sat two feet away on a desk with her head propped up on the cool metal of a wall beam to her left. As she lifted her head to look at me, I raised one eyebrow in question. I knew the answer of course, but I also wanted to avoid talking about me for as long as I could. She answered me anyway.

"Late night. I figured you might skip, so I went ahead and ditched too." She shot me an appraising look, then took interest in the floor. "I kind of wanted to talk about Tess. We're gonna need something to tell her, right? A-about what's happened."

Her eyes found mine again and I nodded slowly in agreement. And here I thought I could avoid her by skipping class. She kept haunting me, invading my head and soiling my dreams. I felt like some kind of sinister alien nemesis just stood right behind me with a sledgehammer, taking whacks when my life seemed to be going well...

"Max? Max?" Liz slid onto the floor next to me, pulling my face towards hers with her soft fingers. "Are you okay?"

'Yes.' It's the answer I would have given anyone else, but somehow I thought Liz would always know the truth when it came to me. "Sort of."

If she didn't take into account the feeling that my life was like a box labeled 'FRAGILE' that everyone used to play football...which begged the question of how one would play football with a big box, but it was only an analogy.

"Max. Talk to me. I won't judge you, you know that." She had her hand in mine by then and brought it to her soft pink lips.

It was meant to be reassuring, I know. And it was, only I needed more. I needed to feel control, needed to feel good right then, to feel worthy, to feel clean.

So I kissed her. It started gentle...but that wasn't how it ended, when she came to find us for lunch.

"Oh my gosh!"

I need to talk to my tharapist.

She's back. She was hit with inspiration on the 4 hour bus ride to a marching band competition, on which her bus chaperones refused to let her listen to her iPod. (Yes, I'm referring to myself, only in third person. It's more theatrical ) Thank you all for the positive feedback and encouragement. It helped and it's always nice to hear your thoughts/opinions.


begonia9508- yes, he ran from Tess. And while he never seemed like the guy, we all act out of character sometimes and he's in a bit of a tailspin now anyway.

clueless- you're welcome for the part. thank you for the feedback

Natalie36- Thanks for the (attempted) extra support

flyawayraven- Thank you. soon enough?

And thanks to the lurking voters of the poll!



Chapter 10

Max

Lunch was an absolute mess. After Maria found us, and I sent a quick prayer of thanks to a God who might not even exist that she was the blonde who found us, we followed her to lunch and fumbled over terrible excuses to explain our lateness to lunch.

Once we sat down, we were informed that Tess went off campus for lunch with Kyle. ‘Thank goodness for small favors’. It was a small favor because the ‘talk’ between Liz and I hadn’t been nearly as productive as Liz had planned. I couldn’t just go around making out with Liz whenever I felt bad or needed reassurance.

Well…I could, but it’d be socially unacceptable and—to others, of course—inconvenient. I made a mental note to talk to someone I could trust about that one soon, and then became drawn back into conversation.

“So since Max didn’t tell you, I figured someone should. Our parents want you over for dinner and our grandma Susan will be there too. She’s delighted to meet Max’s ‘twin’”.

Zan frowned and looked to Dev on his left. “I don’t know. I might not be her type, and I don’t wanna leave Dev on her own for dinner”.

“Yeah, ‘cause I might burn the house down while you’re gone, huh? Or maybe I’ll eat cookies for dinner, Daddy”. Dev rolled her eyes, as this was obviously common with Zan. I couldn’t blame him though. If I had that choice, I wouldn’t waste my time with family I didn’t know when I could spend time with Liz.

“Dev’s invited too, I kind of thought that was implied. I wouldn’t wanna hang out with a bunch of family I don’t know all alone. They’re not bad though. Grandma Susan has a tattoo. She wanted to compare stories.” I wasn’t sure that’d be enough to goad him into coming. “There’ll be free food.” I tacked on a half smile and he grinned back at me.

“Look at that Dev, he’s a man after my own heart. Tatt stories with Grandma and free food. How on earth could we turn him down?” Zan dripped with sarcasm as he spoke, but it was truly good-natured.

Dev chuckled at his antics. “I don’t know. I guess we can’t. That totally ruins the night of hot sex I had planned though.” My eyes went wide and met dancing pairs of brown eyes across the table.

“All my leather thongs are in the wash though, babe.” Liz was surprised to hear Zan quip back, and a spray over chocolate milk hit the table. Disgustingly enough, she wasn’t the only one having such a reaction.

Isabel

The only thing that kept my lunch in my stomach was the hearty laugh emitted from Max, out of everyone at the table. If things were to get better from here, my life might end up as amazing at everyone in Roswell thought it was.

Despite my disgust over details of my ‘new’ brother’s sex life, however true or untrue they were, I managed to laugh myself. Alex was covered in Snapple beside me, and I’d be darned if it didn’t suit him.

“How do I look?” He asked, as if sensing my thoughts. “I think strawberry-kiwi red is my color.” He punctuated his statement with a charming ‘Alex’ smile.

“I think it is.”

Tess

Nasedo would be disappointed. Who would’ve thought Tess Harding’s first instinct at any time in life would be to run away and cry. I wanted to though, for a brief moment as I saw them all laughing from across the quad. They were laughing hard as they wiped drinks off of themselves and I caught a disturbingly familiar, yet notably foreign face. ‘That must be Zan.’

I wouldn’t surrender to the tears though. Kyle would start to think I was a crybaby. It was bad enough that he’d heard me last night, but it was nice how he held me too. His arms were so strong and comforting on my back and he didn’t even have to talk. No one had ever done that before, certainly not Nasedo.