Title: Glimpses or Sights at a Glance
Disclaimer: I don't own Roswell.
Setting: Departure.
Pairing: Max/Liz, Dreamer
Rating: Teen
Summary: Repost with an update. Takes place during Departure, this is my very first fan fic. Glimpses of the episode through an introspective lens of Max and Liz. Quotes are taken from the episode and they are in quotation marks.
Mood Music: Maps by Yeah Yeah Yeahs from Fever To Tell
Part 1
Liz’s point of view.
Tragedy. Travesty. Hell. No none of these words were strong enough to justify the complete and utter wrongness of the situation.
Liz began to think to herself how something so bad and so completely wrong could happen in such a short amount of time. Surely it was just a bad dream, a horrible nightmare.
There was just no way that within less then a month everything she held close to her would be crashing down upon her while she looked on in horror. How. How could this…But she knew how it happened. She had been the one to orchestrate it from the beginning.
She was the one that had planted the seed that was now growing into a terrible fruitation. Perhaps she was naive but she never thought that her actions would have caused so much to change. She was just beginning to come to grips with the fact that her friend of six years was dead due to the fact that she changed the timeline. She couldn’t deal with the fact that now due to her actions Max was leaving the planet, leaving with Tess and with his unborn son. She was amazed by the fact that she could even walk out of the jeep and got upstairs to her room without completely breaking down.
She was still in shock. She couldn’t believe the man that she loved was leaving the solar system today. Maybe this was how it was supposed to be? Perhaps the world would be safe now that Max, Isabel, Michael and Tess were leaving earth. This was their destiny right. Ever since last year when their purpose on earth had been revealed it felt like she was just waiting for the other shoe to drop. That Max would be summoned away to fulfill his duty to his planet and she would be left heartbroken while he was taken away. That’s why she distanced herself. She was terrified of the fact that she had no control over what was happening with Max. It was like ever since Tess and Nasedo arrived that she was fighting a losing battle and sooner or later she was going to be forced to let him go.
Now that the moment was here she was terrified. She was losing him and all of her fears were coming true. She was losing him, he was hours away from being gone and she could do nothing to stop it. Nothing she could do to stop him from leaving her. She never predicted that this would happen.
From the way Future Max told it she thought she would just be forced to watch Max and Tess live happily ever after. Even though she knew it would be hell watching them together she could have accepted that. She could have accepted seeing him with her if it was all she had. She couldn’t take not seeing him, not knowing what was going on with him or not being around him. This was infinitely worse. Just the thought of him leaving left her with a blinding ache and a painful clamping sensation in her chest.
She began to realize the moisture streaming down her face and the fact that she was slumped behind her door in her bedroom.
She had no clue how she mustered up enough strength to bring herself to her mirror but that thought was soon forgotten when she saw herself in the mirror. Her eyes were red and she had dark puffy circles under her eyes. Her cheeks were stained with streaks of tears her clothes disheveled most likely from her sobbing. But she didn’t really care. She felt empty, numb and while she continued to look in her reflection she just felt this impending sense of doom. Something wasn’t right. She had this nagging sensation all day, she thought it was Max’s confession. That he slept with Tess, impregnated her and now was leaving.
But it as still there even after their discussion. Maybe it was the complete and utter wrongness of the situation. But she just felt that there was more pulling at her. That she was being drawn somewhere to something or someone and she needed to do it fast.
Even though she felt exhausted and broken she had to find out what this was. The feeling was familiar like the feeling she got in Alex’s room after he died. She just knew that something was wrong and she was going to find out what was grabbing at her and what had been haunting her the entire day.
------
Max’s point of view
Max felt like he was on auto-pilot.
It felt like everything he did over the past month was like he was in a haze. He didn’t understand how things went so wrong. He didn’t even feel like himself anymore. He didn’t know who he was or how he had changed so much. It felt like he wasn’t even in his own body anymore.
He was just a observer, a spectator while he was watching someone else act in his name. In his body. It all went by so fast. He knew that he felt something wasn’t right but he was doing the right thing? Wasn’t he.
He just wanted to keep everyone safe. Everyone together. Looking back maybe he should have been more supportive, more open minded.
Maybe he should have understood and been more compassionate to everyone around him and not tried to distance himself from everyone. He realized that most of his problems stemmed back from Alex’s funeral. It seemed like the group fractioned when he should have done his best to pull them all together.
He didn’t want to fight. He wanted them to become stronger, unified. He wanted to get threw this and wanted the group to get through the loss together. They were all feeling lost, hurt and they all felt the pain of a lost friend. But it was different for Liz. Liz took Alex’s death harder then any of them it seemed.
At the time he thought she was going crazy, he didn’t see how she could conclude that Alex had been murdered especially with Valenti saying that Alex was depressed. It just seemed like the natural thing to believe that Alex was so distraught that he took his life, but out of respect for Alex’s memory he was willing to call it an accident like Michael had suggested. But Murder? That was a stretch for him to believe.
Perhaps he just didn’t want to believe it. Michael called him on it and he was willing to consent that he didn’t want to think that knowing them lead to his death. So he refused, rebuffed and threatened all of them to put Alex behind them and not to give credence to Liz’s theory. Indulging her would only continue her lunacy. But she was right. She knew something wasn’t right and she fought tooth and nail to the truth and in that moment he admired her. For her strength and her resilience.
Liz never gave up on something that was important to her. Which was why it hurt him so much when she gave up on their relationship. He felt a tear rip through his heart, when he thought back to the end of their relationship he always felt the need to check for blood on his chest because it wasn’t feasible that his heart could hurt so much and not be mortally wounded. He wanted her since he was nine, and now he was on this road that was pulling him further and further away and he couldn’t stop this feeling of dread and drowning that grew stronger with each passing mile to meet Isabel, Michael and Tess at their ship. Their birth place. But it wasn’t his home.
He felt that he left home the moment Liz left his jeep. He grew colder by the second when he thought about leaving her. The jeep slowed and Max moved the jeep to the shoulder of the road. At this moment he was glad that he was alone because the emotions he was feeling were to much to bear at the moment. He didn’t want this. Why? Why did Liz lie. Why did he sleep with her? Who had he become the last couple of weeks? It felt like everything around him was crumbling to dust and all he could think of was that he had to be in some alternative universe because things couldn’t be this bad.
He couldn’t have a dying son. He couldn’t be leaving the love of his life. He couldn’t be saddled with a woman that he didn’t love. It was then that he just broke down and cried. Heaving shoulders, rasped breath and warbled wails all the pain he felt just came pouring out of him as he let the sorrow, loss and weight of everything that had happened to him finally sink into him. He wasn’t getting out of this.
He had a duty. A responsibility to his son to protect, provide and care for him and even if parts of his soul died second after second of every day he would have to put his pain aside and take responsibility for his mistake. He couldn’t think of anything else but that. He couldn’t think of a life without Liz. He could only handle one thing at a time and at the moment his sons life was in danger and he had to be strong for him. He pulled himself together and put the jeep in gear and drove to the crash site.
-----
Liz’s point of view
It felt like her entire life was spinning out of control. This wasn’t supposed to happen. When you trusted someone into the “I know an alien” group you weren’t supposed to end up killing someone in the group. She felt violated. Her mind kept on thinking about one of her best friends since elementary school. Her eyes started to tear up when she thought about what he went through the last few months of his life. She could just picture him screaming and pleading to get someone to help him.
She had no idea what Tess’s power felt like thus why she needed to talk to her about her mind-warping abilities. So she could understand more. She let out a mirthless chuckle as she thought about the day she tried to get Tess to talk about her powers and how aggressive Max was toward her. She was scared but more then anything she was heartbroken by his protectiveness over her.
The things he said to her, his attitude, his actions, the way he looked at her were all in efforts to protect Tess from her. He didn’t care about her need to find Alex’s killer, he didn’t care that she was hurt that he didn’t believe in her or her suspicions it was all about protecting Tess. A dread of fear pooled in her stomach. What if he didn’t care that Tess killed Alex. He had baby and his wife on board maybe it wouldn’t change his mind. Maybe he wouldn’t care. Maybe she meant that much to him.
She shook her head. No. He was outraged over Alex’s death and she could see by the way her was willing to kill Leanna. He still cared. She had to warn him. Get to him in time. She had to stop him from boarding the ship with a killer. She never felt a time before when going seventy miles an hour felt so slow to her.
Running her hands over her face she pleaded “Kyle please” hearing her request her Kyle brought his speed up slightly, she began seeing traces of a familiar rock formation. Relief began to fill her as she saw a few cares just ahead. “Kyle, there just up there slow down”. Maria and Liz didn’t wait for the car to pull to a full stop, their only concern was to stop them from leaving the planet.
Liz and Maria began screaming “Open up, just open up”. Liz “Please, wait…don’t go” tears began to fall she was so close they can’t leave now. Her body began to shake and tremble she had to stop it if it was the last thing she ever did she had to stop Max from leaving the ship, she didn’t think she could survive if he did. She had already lost so much she didn’t want to lose him too. She had already lost so much. She sacrificed everything and she couldn’t lose him to the stars. She couldn’t follow him there. She was desperate and even though the last few months were hell on her she couldn’t bare to loose him, before she was reclined into thinking that this was destiny, it was meant to happen even if she hated it.
But no, Max was too kind, to beautiful to be forced to live with a murderer. She was sorry for everything. Sorry for pushing him away last summer, sorry for manipulating the scene with Kyle and sorry for lying to him for so long. But she really thought that she was doing the right thing. She had the best intentions but she couldn’t forgive herself if she let Max get on that ship with her. She knew. She just knew something was wrong and that if she didn’t stop him something horrible would happen to him if he did leave. As she began to lose hope and despair she saw the door open, she had a chance to save the man she loved and she wasn’t letting him go this time.
-----
Max’s point of view
Rage. Blinding. Seething. Blood boiling. Rage. That was the only thing he could think about when he was standing next to Tess.
To say that he was seeing red would be an understatement at this point. He had to step back from her in fear of his reaction towards her. He had never felt this angry before. He felt like a fool. An idiot. He felt used and disgusted that he could have ever cared about her. “Out” he stated. “Max” Michael started but was only cut off by Max clipped tone “Now”. Everyone moved to leave the ship however he caught one reluctant figure from the corner of his eyes and knew that it was Liz, he felt their connection come to life again.
He felt her love for him. It was like a balm to his soul, how he could have been so close to giving that up he could never know. He was exhausted and tired but he knew that although he had made some grave errors these past few months that he had also made one right decision and that was to love her and he chided himself for not holding on tighter, for not seeing clearer and for not trusting his instincts. He felt disturbed Tess from the very beginning. He felt controlled and disturbed by her presence when they first met, he always had the feeling that he should have been on guard around her at all times and now he knew why.
There was a predator in his mist and she took advantage of one of his own. She did irrevocable damage to his group, his friends, his family and he was going to make sure she paid for what she had done to them. He betrayal would not go unpunished her actions were to grievous. Turning back to the moment he nodded towards Liz to follow the rest of them outside. She took one last look and left.
He didn’t need to ask the question he was thinking because he already knew the answer. He knew in his heart that Tess had killed Alex without a shred of doubt but he wanted to see if she would try to coerce her way out of it. He asked in an even tone “Did you kill Alex?”.
Tess looked exhausted and frayed in a pleading tone she begged him, most likely to try and coax him to come with her she tried to play it off as an accident saying she didn’t mean to do what she did and that she wished she didn’t. However he wasn’t buying it. She did this for months, she had to have known that what she did was causing him pain and that nothing good could have come from her chose to enslave his mind continuously for months. She continued to say that what she didn’t matter.
He was slightly taken back, stunned by the fact that she didn’t care that she had taken a life but he reasoned that she had never really cared about human life. Perhaps it was being with Nasedo so long that hardened her heart to the extent that she felt Alex’s life was inconsequential. That he was meaningless and that she expected him to forgive her trespass. His voiced thundered “Life matters Tess. My life, your life, his life…” he trailed. This was useless she didn’t care. She didn’t care that Liz’s life was in danger last year either when Nasedo kidnapped her and the FBI made their move against them.
He was right then and he was right now, she was never apart of them and Alex had been a greater addition to their team then she had ever been. Her shrill voice shook him from his thoughts he heard a few words. Home. Liz. Stupid bitch and it was with that word that he was brought back to his hatred towards her. “Don’t you ever call her that” Liz was the one thing in his life that he was certain of and he wouldn’t accept anyone putting her down in his presence. She began wailing about how he defended her and how she was his wife that she should have meant more. Tess always meant less to him, he didn’t love her and had never felt love for her. He felt a need to protect her when they went to New York, he had never wanted to hurt her feelings and he even felt sorry for her on multiple occasions but he never loved her in the way that she had begged him to.
His one and only experience with her physically was hazed and filled with pain and he felt that he had died after words. The observatory still gave him nightmares to this day and while he didn’t want to upset her after their night together he could honestly say that he wasn’t proud of himself and he needed to tell Isabel that he felt despair. It was a huge mistake to sleep with her but thinking back to that night all he could think of was pain, loneliness and desperation.
It latched on to him and drew him in and those were his only memories of that night. He surely didn’t want to repeat the experience but he tried to embrace Tess he just couldn’t love her the way she was so desperate for him to. He began to contemplate her motives it seemed like the entire time she was with him she was waiting for him to crack. She was always there, a little too nice, a little too comforting, a little too agreeable and always too willing. It was like she was waiting and praying for something happen.
Then as soon as they slept together it was like she was too quick to get out of dodge. He began to wonder if the child he connected with was really sick. He couldn’t trust anything anymore, she turned his entire world upside down the last few months. He wasn’t the person he was before. He began to feel lost after Alex’s funeral. “This was all some plan wasn’t it to get pregnant and go home”.
Why hadn’t he seen this before. She was always too eager and he was blinded. How did he let it get this far. Dread started to fill him. Could she. Would she really. “Kivar, Our enemies. Why?” She laughed at him. “They aren’t my enemies”. He couldn’t believe it. He was able to send his sister and his brother to a foreign place were they were to be slaughtered by their enemies. What leader was he. How had he not seen this. “No!”. She kept muttering on about some deal. Nasedo. Forty years. Kivar. Heir. He felt repulsed. Disgusted. “How…how…how did I ever fall in love with someone like you”.
He didn’t want to listen to another word she said. It was all moot anyway. He didn’t remember loving her and even the memories he recovered were vaguely pieced together at best. He didn’t remember his old life and didn’t want to. He felt cold inside. This was what he was going to move himself towards? A life with her. To be betrayed and murdered along side his friends and he would have gone to if not for Liz. He remembered last Christmas which felt like eons ago to him. He said he believed in Liz and he didn’t understand how he could have lost sight of that over the past few months. She was always there. Even in the bad times and she was saving him even now. After everything.
He was brought back to the moment when Tess started talking about boys and kings. He would show Tess who was a boy, he held his hand up ready to strike. Her mouth was moving but he wasn’t hearing her words not until the words son came out of her mouth. He gulped. His son. His son was innocent of all of this. He didn’t deserve to die just because of the actions Tess had committed. He reluctantly put down his hand. He didn’t have a choice. Even if Tess was lying he couldn’t take the chance of his son dying. He had to let her go. Tess was hiding behind his son, the one thing she knew would save her from him. “This isn’t over”. No this was far from over. He would not let his son live with a murderer, he would not let his son become like Tess and Nasedo if it was the last thing he did.
----
Liz’s point of view
She held on to him with a vice grip. She had to know she saved him. She had to know he was safe. She had to know he was here. She exhaled a breath she didn’t know that she was holding. When she saw Max finally run outside the ship she was relieved, she was elated. She never knew that three minutes could be so long. When Max ran to her and finally put his arms around her she relaxed. She wept for joy. She finally felt that the rollercoaster of emotions she had been going through for the past year slow and it was in his arms that she found peace. She couldn’t let him go. She needed to hear his heartbeat. She needed to stay in his arms forever because that’s all she ever wanted to do.
She finally realized how love starved she had been feeling and she knew the reason why she had deprived herself of him for so long that his fingers on her skin filled something inside of her that felt so empty. She had been feeling exhausted without him carrying this burden on her shoulders that finally just being with him was elevating all of her pain and heartache. She knew they had things to discuss but at that moment the only thing she could think about was being with him. That’s all she wanted for now. She couldn’t think past today.
She wanted this small victory. She deserved it. The little happiness that she had over the last year felt so far away that she just wanted to bask and immerse herself in him as much as possible. She smiled a full smile filled with happiness and she felt giddy she wasn’t losing him. He wasn’t going away. He was staying her with her. She wasn’t going to let him go ever again.
Glimpses or Sights at a Glance CC M/L Teen Part 5 9/02 [WIP]
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Glimpses or Sights at a Glance CC M/L Teen Part 5 9/02 [WIP]
Last edited by Sin on Tue Sep 02, 2008 8:07 pm, edited 8 times in total.
Re: Glimpses or Sights at a Glance CC M/L Teen 8/25
A/N: Takes place during Busted. Repost.
Part 2
Mood Music: I’m Not Dead by Pink from I’m Not Dead
Liz’s point of view
Well I’ll say this much life with Max has never been boring and I can honestly say that I have never felt more alive in my life then I have the last few weeks.
Ever since the jewel heist in late June I have felt this need for adventure and excitement. I feel like for the very first time I am really having fun and I feel a little guilty about it. Max and I are still driving across Utah trying to find the next convieance store that holds the space ship that will lead Max to his son.
We’ve already held up a string of robberies at the other stores an we’ve had less and less luck at each one and the encounters are getting closer and closer each time. I’m starting to get a little worried. We barely got away last time and it was only due to Max blowing out the tires of the police car that we were able to escape without being harmed or arrested. I also am starting to doubt the fire arm were using. We never load the gun. Perhaps my mother would calm at hearing that. But I just don’t feel right holding it.
To be honest it scares me. To hold the very thing that nearly took my life over two years ago. I don’t like guns, I never liked them. Perhaps that’s why Kyle jokes that I could never be a republican. I just don’t like them. I never had and I always feel like things get so much worse when they are involved. Anger escalates and just as easily a person is found dead. I’ve brought the subject up to Max a couple of times and he just tells me that we only have to do it a couple more times. I know he needs me, so the last two times I’ve held my tongue. But it still terrifies me to hold it in my hands. But I know that as soon as we hit the other stores I can put it behind me.
I feel like were a modern day Bonnie and Clyde. We are one of the most feared duo in Utah and I just have to laugh at how this all turned out. I will say that I am nervous though each and every time I go in I am afraid. But I know how much Max needs to find his son and I will do whatever I can to do that for him. Even if that means doing something I am not proud of. We talked about what he would do if I got caught.
He told me he would do whatever was necessary to get me out and I told him no. Under no circumstances could he bust me out of jail. I told him that if push came to shove he needed to go on without me and find his son and that I was happy to assist him in any way possible. I still mean that to this day. I haven’t thought about what would happen if Max were to find his son. That is too much for me to think about at the moment.
I just have to take one step at a time and deal with things as they come. Other wise I just get overwhelmed and Max is stressed out as it is and I can understand why. I’ve seen his nightmares and I feel his fear for his son. This isn’t imaginary or fabricated stuff, it’s real. It’s scary and it’s tangible. It feels like when Max was tortured by pierce only it’s not as vivid it’s just an overwhelming sense of fear and dread and I could barely calm Max down after he had gotten another nightmare last night. The dreams are getting worse. He tries to hide it and he usually does an amazing job but I know him and I see through his veneer. He hasn’t gotten a good nights rest in over a month.
As hard as she tried she realized that she couldn’t help him. She couldn’t stop the dreams and although she tried her best to comfort him she knew that her efforts brought little comfort to him.
The only comfort he would find would be when he finally had his son in his arms. Their friends tried to help him. Michael offered to help Max however Max rebuffed his efforts that said that it was his problem and that Michael should enjoy his life.
Michael was also preoccupied with summer school and backed up payments for his apartment. Isabel also tried to help Max but he seemed determined to do what he had to do alone until Liz forced him to see that she was apart of this as well as he was. That she wanted to help him and that if she were in his position he wouldn’t take no for an answer either. It was then that they made a commitment to find his son together.
Maria thought she was insane. She couldn’t understand how Liz could accept the fact that Max had a child out their with another woman and that Liz had spent her summer with Max to find him.
Liz couldn’t see any other choice but to stand by Max. She wanted to be there for him and she worried about him constantly and she couldn’t imagine how desperate he would get doing this alone. She couldn’t lie some nights when she thought about Max’s son it was hard for her to breathe. He shared something with Tess that she could not be apart of and it hurt her deeply. But this wasn’t about her. It was about Max finding his son and his need to find peace.
Max deserves to have peace of mind after all that has happened and I want to be there for him.
I bring my hand to the back of his head, he looks at me. He looks worried and tired. I tell him to stop the car. He gives me a curious look but moves over to the shoulder of the road and we stop.
I unbuckle my seat belt and gently kiss his lips. I’m in his lap now and I begin to trace soft kisses over his lips, eyes, nose and the sensitive skin on his ears and neck. He relaxes immediately and I am so happy that I can give him this small comfort, that I can get him to relax and calm down.
I tell him to move to the passenger seat and let me drive. He begins to protest but I gentle push my index finger to his lips silencing his argument. He gently nips the tip of my finger and moves over to the passenger seat. I tell him to close his eyes and rest and that we will be stopping at the next motel stop for the night. He agrees as he finally begins to see how exhausted he is.
I worry about him, he’s been restless because of the nightmares and I am afraid to find out how he would be coping with them at all if I wasn’t here. Max has been running on empty for a while now and I just want to be here to help him through all of this. As I drive down the road this is the best thing I could do for him. Take care of him because even though he may deny it with all of his heart, he’s slowly falling apart.
----
Max’s point of view
He was a failure. He was a failure as a man. He was a failure as a King. He was a failure as a father.
It was as if every decision he made was the wrong one. He was so tired of making wrong and misinformed decisions. He felt helpless. Powerless. Every night he felt that he his son was in trouble but he could do nothing. He was on the other side of the galaxy. He was supposed to have ruled an entire planet before his life here and yet he could barely keep his life together as it was. He couldn’t keep his family life under control, his mother and father were starving for questions that he couldn’t answer which only resulted in more arguments, more distrust and more anger.
From a logical point of view he understood their concern and worry and a small part of him knew that they wouldn’t be the great parents they were without questioning him. But at the same time he felt betrayed because they kept digging, asking and looking for questions. He was their son and he needed their trust. He wasn’t supposed to feel investigated in his own home. He needed their support not their inquisition. His relationships with Michael and Isabel didn’t fair much better. He felt immense guilt for the controlling influence he held over both of them. The fact that he almost lead them to their deaths a few short months ago still haunted him. He was terrified of being their leader because he didn’t feel that he could lead especially after such a error in judgment he had made with Tess.
It seemed that in more ways in one Tess was still controlling his life. She was still controlling his actions. She had destroyed the faith he had in himself and she destroyed his confidence in protecting the people that he loved. She had turned him inside out it seemed. He still didn’t even recognize the person he was last spring. He didn’t know that person existed.
How could he have been so heartless to Isabel. She had been the one out of all of them who embraced her human side the most. She was the one who organized charity events, socialized during school organizations and who was readily active in the community and yet he threatened all of her work, her reputation and her future. He knew that they should stick together but he had never wanted to go that far.
He always felt that there was a line, a line that he always felt that he wouldn’t pass. He would have never thought to threaten anyone in their group but he did and he still didn’t understand why. He knew he was protective but he was never needlessly cruel and he still couldn’t comprehend why he would have been so to his sister who had been one of the few people in his life he was close to. He betrayed her and the guilt he felt had strained their relationship.
He looked at Liz, her hair was down and the dark length wiped around wildly behind her as the wind passed through her hair. He didn’t know how he got this second chance. How he had been so blessed that they were finally together again. She was the one thing that had been holding him together for the past few weeks. While his relationships with his two families were crumbling underneath the actions of the past few months she was the one thing that he believed in. He closed his eyes and began a restless sleep.
----
Liz’s point of view
She was exhausted. To say the sight of the motel a few feet away was a relief would be an understatement. They were still about two hours away from the next store on their list. While the last few weeks had been nerve racking to say the least she still couldn’t help the small bit of excitement she felt when she was on the road with Max. She took a look at her Clyde. He looked relaxed, which was an increasing rarity these days and she fought against waking him, she didn’t want him to lose the sleep he desperately needed at the moment.
She traced over his features. She adored him. Everything about him from his chiseled jaw, his soft velvet lips, to his strong nose, she couldn’t see his soulful eyes at the moment but she didn’t need to she committed them to memory a long time ago. She took this time to cherish everything about him, she had this soft spot for his ears though. She just thought they were so cute. But she also knew that they were also so sensitive.
She craved to be intimate with him, although they had been on the road for weeks now she felt that he was getting farther and farther away from her and she was desperate to be close to him. But at the same time she was terrified she wanted and needed that connection, that piece of her that had been missing for over a year now but she was also mortified by the thought that she would see her.
It seemed that she always crept into her mind. Did she touch him the way she did? Did he still think about her? She understood on an emotional level that he didn’t love her but that didn’t stop her from thinking that he desired her on a physical level. She didn’t want to think about Tess at all but she knew that she wouldn’t be able to take it if she saw with her own eyes them going at it.
She didn’t want to think about it but the Tess situation had made her doubt everything about herself, she felt her confidence shatter just thinking about it. Max once told her that there was no comparison. She just wished she was able to get past it.
She wished she was able to get past a lot of things. She wished that Max believed in her more through out the past year, she wished that Max would have had more faith in what they had and while logically she knew that she did everything she did drove him to the point of a less then desirable reaction she could shake the feeling that he threw away all that they meant to each other when he slept with Tess. She couldn’t think about this tonight. Tomorrow was another day and she would have to work one day at a time. Now wasn’t the time for the past. Right now she and Max had to prepare for tomorrow. They had to find Max’s son. That’s all she could think about right now. Her feelings could come later.
---
I knew when I woke up that today just wasn’t going to be a good day. Damn it. This was to close.
Time was running out. There’s not enough time. This was taking too long. “Come on let’s go”. We’ve done this multiple times before but this time feels different.
We should be able to easily out run one cop car, it’s not as if we haven’t been in this position before. We did this last Thursday and we got away just fine. But he is giving me way more trouble then he ought to be.
How did they find us so quickly we were barely in there five minutes and already they had someone tailing us across the highway.
One cop car turns into three and this may be the end of the line of our little tour but it looks as if Max has found what he needed to if the golden light was any indication. “They can’t find out about the diamond Max”. He chucks it out to the street and we’re caged in, were done. We’re caught. My parents are going to freak out. They think that me and Max are taking a road trip around the country. Wait till they find out that we’ve been holding out middle of nowhere convenience stores.
---
Max’s point of view
The booking process is quick and relatively painless save for the rough handling and shots to the ribs I took when they first arrested me. They take my finger prints, take my profile picture and pull up my records for my name, phone number, family information, criminal records, ect. I could careless about what they do to me.
The only thing I can think about is that I have dragged the woman that I loved into a world she was not supposed to be in. This isn’t the first time I’ve done it but she has sacrificed everything for me. She is sacrificing her future. College. Her reputation. Her life. Yet again I am letting someone I love down and she continues to lose important things to her just by being around me.
I’m not even able to keep her safe. I am further dragging her down to my life and my problems and she is suffering for it. She has already suffered so much from my mistakes and I decided that from now on I am not going to put her in this situation ever again. She is not going on my exploits any more. I am going to keep my problems and my responsibilities to my son separate from her. She isn’t going to lose another thing because of me.
However a very selfish part of me is so glad that we were able to spend the time we did together. Staying up late into the early mornings, being close to her after being apart for so long was the greatest reprieve from all the madness of the past year. He couldn’t regret the time he spent with her anymore then he could regret bringing her into his life or healing her. He finally felt like he was able to breath again after drowning for months without her. The other part of his soul wanted to be with him and even after his greatest trespasses and mistakes she still was there to help him through his darkest days. His worst times. Everyone was looking at him as if he had grown another head, the man couldn’t stop smiling one of the officers mentioned a psychological evaluation, but he wasn’t crazy. He was just unbelievably happy for the first time in months.
----
The cell was cold and dark, he didn’t want this for Liz. He wanted to make her dreams come true but it seemed as if his world was compelled to draw him into a world of nightmares.
He would admit it he was selfish. After being apart from her for so long he didn’t think he could handle going through this summer without her. If he was honest with himself he just didn’t want to. He just needed to be with her as much as possible as soon as possible. It was with her that he felt the most like himself. He was afraid of the person he became and it was over the course of the last few months that he finally felt that he was becoming himself again. The person he wanted to be. The person he longed to be. He wanted to forget the man he was last spring. He never felt more alone or more depressed then at that time. He gave away all of his clothes and he burned the shirt from that painful night. The night he still thankfully didn’t fully remember.
The bits and pieces he did sickened him and filled him with so much shame and regret that he could barely think straight. Being with Liz made him feel alive. Made him feel human and he needed that after months of being the cold dictator he had been when he was with Tess.
He heard the bailiff open his cell door and noticed his parents. He saw their worried glances and figured he’d at least attempt humor. His mother asked who he was and to be honest he felt more like himself then he did in a year she just couldn’t see because he sheltered himself from her so much. His dad kept on repeating that he was going to get them out of here as soon as possible and he knew that he would.
---
He didn’t want to argue with Isabel and Michael. They didn’t understand. He had to find any way possible to get to his son. He didn’t care if the space ship was made out of Teflon and double sided tape he had a responsibility to protect his son from harm and they were doing something to him. He could feel it in his bones. He was starting to get irritated. They made good arguments but it was moot, if he ever found a way to get to Antar he was going to take it and nothing they said was going to change his mind. He wouldn’t force them to go with him this time but he wasn’t going to ignore his son and his need to be rescued. He needed the key and he needed Michael to get it for him. He knew he would.
----
He was starting to get testy. Why wouldn’t they let him see her. He needed to look at her to know that she was okay. He could reach through their bond and connect with her but he could tell that she was trying to be strong for him. He could tell the strain she felt between her parents and he wanted to comfort her, he wanted to do it right. He wanted to hold her in his arms and look into her eyes and tell her that he would make everything right. Because he would. He wouldn’t stop until he fixed the damage he had caused.
---
Liz’s point of view
That’s it. The world. The universe hated her. It had to. Why else would it break her and Max up and cause all this chaos in the first place. It couldn’t be a coincidence maybe she was just unlucky. What was that. Murphy’s law that had to apply to her. Everything that went wrong did.
Maria told her about this prosecutor who hasn’t won a case in over a decade and now he was looking to put the screws towards her and Max. It’s like she never got to have a break. Max and her could never just have one thing go there way.
There was always twelve hundred different obstacles to make things fifteen times worse then they had to be. Maria started pressing her for answers she didn’t have. She wanted to help him because she needed to. She felt how desperately he needed to find his son and that was all that had occupied her mind and thoughts. She wasn’t thinking about anything else.
Max was in pain and she wanted to do everything she could to stop it. Everything else was secondary, unimportant and inconsequential she would deal with the rest of her feelings when the time came but now was not the time to get emotional. She had to get through this court date and she had to help Max find his way to his son. She knew that she was going with him. She would not be able to watch him board a ship without her. It filled her with so much pain just thinking about it. She knew that she would be apart of what he was going through regardless and she knew she was much stronger with him then apart from him.
---
She didn’t want to fight with her parents anymore.
She was sorry that she had involved them but she couldn’t give them the answers they wanted and it just felt as if everyone was ganging up on her. She was tired and she wanted to sleep.
She needed to regain her strength from the exhausting couple of days. It was an interrogation after an interrogation and she still hadn’t gotten a chance to see Max.
It was getting harder and harder for her to stay strong and she didn’t want Max to have to deal with her stress on top of his own and she was worried that he would do something drastic if he did realize how everything was starting to get to her. She needed a nap. She could get threw the rest of the day if she just relaxed and slept for a little bit.
Her and Max would get threw this. Lord knows that they went through so much worse then this.
----
Max’s point of view.
I refuse to let the woman I love rot in a prison cell for the next twenty years of her life. I refuse.
I don’t care if I have to run for the rest of my life she isn’t going to be thrown into a cell if he had anything to do with it. “Let’s go”. She sees me in a sheriff uniform and I get lost in her eyes she gives me a heartbreaking smile and I am lost in her eyes. “Max, what are you doing” she whispers as she takes in my appearance she laughing and I barely hold in a groan as she runs her hands down my shirt.
I decide then that I am keeping this outfit for further use in the future. “Let’s get out of here”. She looks at me as if I lost my mind but no I am not crazy.
The crazy thing would be leaving her in here, she dissects the situation logically and apart of me falls in love with her all over again that she is able to see the bigger picture but what she doesn’t realize is that there is no picture with out her for me.
She begs me to go find the ship. She doesn’t want our efforts to be in vain and she wants me to find my son. But ever since Liz brought me that slip of paper with the key to the ship I always pictured her by my side when I finally found the damn thing. I kiss her deeply and I promise her and send it to her soul, I’m coming back for you and it’s the only thing that I can think of at this moment. I am coming back for her.
---
Drugs. Do I look like a druggie? I don’t think I do. It’s like that’s the only plausible explanation that anyone could think of when they think about what Isabel, Michael and I are up to something. Every one jumps to that conclusion. My father. Alex. Liz’s parents probably think I am a hardcore cocaine slinging drug lord. But I am not. Maybe I have let my appearance go for the past couple of months. But really, why does everyone think that I do drugs. I try to distract my father so he doesn’t think too much about what he has seen and doesn’t dig to deep but once he brings Liz’s name up I am willing to tell him my deepest and darkest secrets if it can liberate her from that hell that she was put in.
----
Liz’s point of view.
They don’t want me to see Max anymore. Well their grand standing and declarations were point less. They are not going to stop me from being with Max. Nothing is going to keep us apart. They don’t understand and I can see where they are coming from, it was a close call but I wouldn’t change what happened or my decision to stand by Max for anything. He’s apart of me. It’s who I am and I am not going to leave him because of this. Max and I still have a mission to fulfill and my parents, his parents, the government aren’t going to stop us.
---
Max’s point of view.
I can’t. Even though I want to. I can’t tell my father what’s going on. I can’t risk them the way I risked Alex and I can put them in danger.
They are safer this way when their ignorant then they will be with answers. I know that they’re hurting. They love me. They want to help me. But they can’t and they are better off in the dark.
Isabel was wrong. I wanted to tell my father from the moment I first started feeling the changes. I ached to ask my father about what was going on with me when I reached puberty but I know that I couldn’t. I was afraid that he would disown me. That he wouldn’t love me anymore. But I know that he loves me. He loves me as much as a father can love a son and I am grateful.
But that doesn’t change anything. I feel a connection to my father. I love him. But I can’t tell him. Isabel once talked about Mothers and daughters and them being closer then Mothers and sons. I can’t help but think that she doesn’t know a thing about fathers and sons.
Part 2
Mood Music: I’m Not Dead by Pink from I’m Not Dead
Liz’s point of view
Well I’ll say this much life with Max has never been boring and I can honestly say that I have never felt more alive in my life then I have the last few weeks.
Ever since the jewel heist in late June I have felt this need for adventure and excitement. I feel like for the very first time I am really having fun and I feel a little guilty about it. Max and I are still driving across Utah trying to find the next convieance store that holds the space ship that will lead Max to his son.
We’ve already held up a string of robberies at the other stores an we’ve had less and less luck at each one and the encounters are getting closer and closer each time. I’m starting to get a little worried. We barely got away last time and it was only due to Max blowing out the tires of the police car that we were able to escape without being harmed or arrested. I also am starting to doubt the fire arm were using. We never load the gun. Perhaps my mother would calm at hearing that. But I just don’t feel right holding it.
To be honest it scares me. To hold the very thing that nearly took my life over two years ago. I don’t like guns, I never liked them. Perhaps that’s why Kyle jokes that I could never be a republican. I just don’t like them. I never had and I always feel like things get so much worse when they are involved. Anger escalates and just as easily a person is found dead. I’ve brought the subject up to Max a couple of times and he just tells me that we only have to do it a couple more times. I know he needs me, so the last two times I’ve held my tongue. But it still terrifies me to hold it in my hands. But I know that as soon as we hit the other stores I can put it behind me.
I feel like were a modern day Bonnie and Clyde. We are one of the most feared duo in Utah and I just have to laugh at how this all turned out. I will say that I am nervous though each and every time I go in I am afraid. But I know how much Max needs to find his son and I will do whatever I can to do that for him. Even if that means doing something I am not proud of. We talked about what he would do if I got caught.
He told me he would do whatever was necessary to get me out and I told him no. Under no circumstances could he bust me out of jail. I told him that if push came to shove he needed to go on without me and find his son and that I was happy to assist him in any way possible. I still mean that to this day. I haven’t thought about what would happen if Max were to find his son. That is too much for me to think about at the moment.
I just have to take one step at a time and deal with things as they come. Other wise I just get overwhelmed and Max is stressed out as it is and I can understand why. I’ve seen his nightmares and I feel his fear for his son. This isn’t imaginary or fabricated stuff, it’s real. It’s scary and it’s tangible. It feels like when Max was tortured by pierce only it’s not as vivid it’s just an overwhelming sense of fear and dread and I could barely calm Max down after he had gotten another nightmare last night. The dreams are getting worse. He tries to hide it and he usually does an amazing job but I know him and I see through his veneer. He hasn’t gotten a good nights rest in over a month.
As hard as she tried she realized that she couldn’t help him. She couldn’t stop the dreams and although she tried her best to comfort him she knew that her efforts brought little comfort to him.
The only comfort he would find would be when he finally had his son in his arms. Their friends tried to help him. Michael offered to help Max however Max rebuffed his efforts that said that it was his problem and that Michael should enjoy his life.
Michael was also preoccupied with summer school and backed up payments for his apartment. Isabel also tried to help Max but he seemed determined to do what he had to do alone until Liz forced him to see that she was apart of this as well as he was. That she wanted to help him and that if she were in his position he wouldn’t take no for an answer either. It was then that they made a commitment to find his son together.
Maria thought she was insane. She couldn’t understand how Liz could accept the fact that Max had a child out their with another woman and that Liz had spent her summer with Max to find him.
Liz couldn’t see any other choice but to stand by Max. She wanted to be there for him and she worried about him constantly and she couldn’t imagine how desperate he would get doing this alone. She couldn’t lie some nights when she thought about Max’s son it was hard for her to breathe. He shared something with Tess that she could not be apart of and it hurt her deeply. But this wasn’t about her. It was about Max finding his son and his need to find peace.
Max deserves to have peace of mind after all that has happened and I want to be there for him.
I bring my hand to the back of his head, he looks at me. He looks worried and tired. I tell him to stop the car. He gives me a curious look but moves over to the shoulder of the road and we stop.
I unbuckle my seat belt and gently kiss his lips. I’m in his lap now and I begin to trace soft kisses over his lips, eyes, nose and the sensitive skin on his ears and neck. He relaxes immediately and I am so happy that I can give him this small comfort, that I can get him to relax and calm down.
I tell him to move to the passenger seat and let me drive. He begins to protest but I gentle push my index finger to his lips silencing his argument. He gently nips the tip of my finger and moves over to the passenger seat. I tell him to close his eyes and rest and that we will be stopping at the next motel stop for the night. He agrees as he finally begins to see how exhausted he is.
I worry about him, he’s been restless because of the nightmares and I am afraid to find out how he would be coping with them at all if I wasn’t here. Max has been running on empty for a while now and I just want to be here to help him through all of this. As I drive down the road this is the best thing I could do for him. Take care of him because even though he may deny it with all of his heart, he’s slowly falling apart.
----
Max’s point of view
He was a failure. He was a failure as a man. He was a failure as a King. He was a failure as a father.
It was as if every decision he made was the wrong one. He was so tired of making wrong and misinformed decisions. He felt helpless. Powerless. Every night he felt that he his son was in trouble but he could do nothing. He was on the other side of the galaxy. He was supposed to have ruled an entire planet before his life here and yet he could barely keep his life together as it was. He couldn’t keep his family life under control, his mother and father were starving for questions that he couldn’t answer which only resulted in more arguments, more distrust and more anger.
From a logical point of view he understood their concern and worry and a small part of him knew that they wouldn’t be the great parents they were without questioning him. But at the same time he felt betrayed because they kept digging, asking and looking for questions. He was their son and he needed their trust. He wasn’t supposed to feel investigated in his own home. He needed their support not their inquisition. His relationships with Michael and Isabel didn’t fair much better. He felt immense guilt for the controlling influence he held over both of them. The fact that he almost lead them to their deaths a few short months ago still haunted him. He was terrified of being their leader because he didn’t feel that he could lead especially after such a error in judgment he had made with Tess.
It seemed that in more ways in one Tess was still controlling his life. She was still controlling his actions. She had destroyed the faith he had in himself and she destroyed his confidence in protecting the people that he loved. She had turned him inside out it seemed. He still didn’t even recognize the person he was last spring. He didn’t know that person existed.
How could he have been so heartless to Isabel. She had been the one out of all of them who embraced her human side the most. She was the one who organized charity events, socialized during school organizations and who was readily active in the community and yet he threatened all of her work, her reputation and her future. He knew that they should stick together but he had never wanted to go that far.
He always felt that there was a line, a line that he always felt that he wouldn’t pass. He would have never thought to threaten anyone in their group but he did and he still didn’t understand why. He knew he was protective but he was never needlessly cruel and he still couldn’t comprehend why he would have been so to his sister who had been one of the few people in his life he was close to. He betrayed her and the guilt he felt had strained their relationship.
He looked at Liz, her hair was down and the dark length wiped around wildly behind her as the wind passed through her hair. He didn’t know how he got this second chance. How he had been so blessed that they were finally together again. She was the one thing that had been holding him together for the past few weeks. While his relationships with his two families were crumbling underneath the actions of the past few months she was the one thing that he believed in. He closed his eyes and began a restless sleep.
----
Liz’s point of view
She was exhausted. To say the sight of the motel a few feet away was a relief would be an understatement. They were still about two hours away from the next store on their list. While the last few weeks had been nerve racking to say the least she still couldn’t help the small bit of excitement she felt when she was on the road with Max. She took a look at her Clyde. He looked relaxed, which was an increasing rarity these days and she fought against waking him, she didn’t want him to lose the sleep he desperately needed at the moment.
She traced over his features. She adored him. Everything about him from his chiseled jaw, his soft velvet lips, to his strong nose, she couldn’t see his soulful eyes at the moment but she didn’t need to she committed them to memory a long time ago. She took this time to cherish everything about him, she had this soft spot for his ears though. She just thought they were so cute. But she also knew that they were also so sensitive.
She craved to be intimate with him, although they had been on the road for weeks now she felt that he was getting farther and farther away from her and she was desperate to be close to him. But at the same time she was terrified she wanted and needed that connection, that piece of her that had been missing for over a year now but she was also mortified by the thought that she would see her.
It seemed that she always crept into her mind. Did she touch him the way she did? Did he still think about her? She understood on an emotional level that he didn’t love her but that didn’t stop her from thinking that he desired her on a physical level. She didn’t want to think about Tess at all but she knew that she wouldn’t be able to take it if she saw with her own eyes them going at it.
She didn’t want to think about it but the Tess situation had made her doubt everything about herself, she felt her confidence shatter just thinking about it. Max once told her that there was no comparison. She just wished she was able to get past it.
She wished she was able to get past a lot of things. She wished that Max believed in her more through out the past year, she wished that Max would have had more faith in what they had and while logically she knew that she did everything she did drove him to the point of a less then desirable reaction she could shake the feeling that he threw away all that they meant to each other when he slept with Tess. She couldn’t think about this tonight. Tomorrow was another day and she would have to work one day at a time. Now wasn’t the time for the past. Right now she and Max had to prepare for tomorrow. They had to find Max’s son. That’s all she could think about right now. Her feelings could come later.
---
I knew when I woke up that today just wasn’t going to be a good day. Damn it. This was to close.
Time was running out. There’s not enough time. This was taking too long. “Come on let’s go”. We’ve done this multiple times before but this time feels different.
We should be able to easily out run one cop car, it’s not as if we haven’t been in this position before. We did this last Thursday and we got away just fine. But he is giving me way more trouble then he ought to be.
How did they find us so quickly we were barely in there five minutes and already they had someone tailing us across the highway.
One cop car turns into three and this may be the end of the line of our little tour but it looks as if Max has found what he needed to if the golden light was any indication. “They can’t find out about the diamond Max”. He chucks it out to the street and we’re caged in, were done. We’re caught. My parents are going to freak out. They think that me and Max are taking a road trip around the country. Wait till they find out that we’ve been holding out middle of nowhere convenience stores.
---
Max’s point of view
The booking process is quick and relatively painless save for the rough handling and shots to the ribs I took when they first arrested me. They take my finger prints, take my profile picture and pull up my records for my name, phone number, family information, criminal records, ect. I could careless about what they do to me.
The only thing I can think about is that I have dragged the woman that I loved into a world she was not supposed to be in. This isn’t the first time I’ve done it but she has sacrificed everything for me. She is sacrificing her future. College. Her reputation. Her life. Yet again I am letting someone I love down and she continues to lose important things to her just by being around me.
I’m not even able to keep her safe. I am further dragging her down to my life and my problems and she is suffering for it. She has already suffered so much from my mistakes and I decided that from now on I am not going to put her in this situation ever again. She is not going on my exploits any more. I am going to keep my problems and my responsibilities to my son separate from her. She isn’t going to lose another thing because of me.
However a very selfish part of me is so glad that we were able to spend the time we did together. Staying up late into the early mornings, being close to her after being apart for so long was the greatest reprieve from all the madness of the past year. He couldn’t regret the time he spent with her anymore then he could regret bringing her into his life or healing her. He finally felt like he was able to breath again after drowning for months without her. The other part of his soul wanted to be with him and even after his greatest trespasses and mistakes she still was there to help him through his darkest days. His worst times. Everyone was looking at him as if he had grown another head, the man couldn’t stop smiling one of the officers mentioned a psychological evaluation, but he wasn’t crazy. He was just unbelievably happy for the first time in months.
----
The cell was cold and dark, he didn’t want this for Liz. He wanted to make her dreams come true but it seemed as if his world was compelled to draw him into a world of nightmares.
He would admit it he was selfish. After being apart from her for so long he didn’t think he could handle going through this summer without her. If he was honest with himself he just didn’t want to. He just needed to be with her as much as possible as soon as possible. It was with her that he felt the most like himself. He was afraid of the person he became and it was over the course of the last few months that he finally felt that he was becoming himself again. The person he wanted to be. The person he longed to be. He wanted to forget the man he was last spring. He never felt more alone or more depressed then at that time. He gave away all of his clothes and he burned the shirt from that painful night. The night he still thankfully didn’t fully remember.
The bits and pieces he did sickened him and filled him with so much shame and regret that he could barely think straight. Being with Liz made him feel alive. Made him feel human and he needed that after months of being the cold dictator he had been when he was with Tess.
He heard the bailiff open his cell door and noticed his parents. He saw their worried glances and figured he’d at least attempt humor. His mother asked who he was and to be honest he felt more like himself then he did in a year she just couldn’t see because he sheltered himself from her so much. His dad kept on repeating that he was going to get them out of here as soon as possible and he knew that he would.
---
He didn’t want to argue with Isabel and Michael. They didn’t understand. He had to find any way possible to get to his son. He didn’t care if the space ship was made out of Teflon and double sided tape he had a responsibility to protect his son from harm and they were doing something to him. He could feel it in his bones. He was starting to get irritated. They made good arguments but it was moot, if he ever found a way to get to Antar he was going to take it and nothing they said was going to change his mind. He wouldn’t force them to go with him this time but he wasn’t going to ignore his son and his need to be rescued. He needed the key and he needed Michael to get it for him. He knew he would.
----
He was starting to get testy. Why wouldn’t they let him see her. He needed to look at her to know that she was okay. He could reach through their bond and connect with her but he could tell that she was trying to be strong for him. He could tell the strain she felt between her parents and he wanted to comfort her, he wanted to do it right. He wanted to hold her in his arms and look into her eyes and tell her that he would make everything right. Because he would. He wouldn’t stop until he fixed the damage he had caused.
---
Liz’s point of view
That’s it. The world. The universe hated her. It had to. Why else would it break her and Max up and cause all this chaos in the first place. It couldn’t be a coincidence maybe she was just unlucky. What was that. Murphy’s law that had to apply to her. Everything that went wrong did.
Maria told her about this prosecutor who hasn’t won a case in over a decade and now he was looking to put the screws towards her and Max. It’s like she never got to have a break. Max and her could never just have one thing go there way.
There was always twelve hundred different obstacles to make things fifteen times worse then they had to be. Maria started pressing her for answers she didn’t have. She wanted to help him because she needed to. She felt how desperately he needed to find his son and that was all that had occupied her mind and thoughts. She wasn’t thinking about anything else.
Max was in pain and she wanted to do everything she could to stop it. Everything else was secondary, unimportant and inconsequential she would deal with the rest of her feelings when the time came but now was not the time to get emotional. She had to get through this court date and she had to help Max find his way to his son. She knew that she was going with him. She would not be able to watch him board a ship without her. It filled her with so much pain just thinking about it. She knew that she would be apart of what he was going through regardless and she knew she was much stronger with him then apart from him.
---
She didn’t want to fight with her parents anymore.
She was sorry that she had involved them but she couldn’t give them the answers they wanted and it just felt as if everyone was ganging up on her. She was tired and she wanted to sleep.
She needed to regain her strength from the exhausting couple of days. It was an interrogation after an interrogation and she still hadn’t gotten a chance to see Max.
It was getting harder and harder for her to stay strong and she didn’t want Max to have to deal with her stress on top of his own and she was worried that he would do something drastic if he did realize how everything was starting to get to her. She needed a nap. She could get threw the rest of the day if she just relaxed and slept for a little bit.
Her and Max would get threw this. Lord knows that they went through so much worse then this.
----
Max’s point of view.
I refuse to let the woman I love rot in a prison cell for the next twenty years of her life. I refuse.
I don’t care if I have to run for the rest of my life she isn’t going to be thrown into a cell if he had anything to do with it. “Let’s go”. She sees me in a sheriff uniform and I get lost in her eyes she gives me a heartbreaking smile and I am lost in her eyes. “Max, what are you doing” she whispers as she takes in my appearance she laughing and I barely hold in a groan as she runs her hands down my shirt.
I decide then that I am keeping this outfit for further use in the future. “Let’s get out of here”. She looks at me as if I lost my mind but no I am not crazy.
The crazy thing would be leaving her in here, she dissects the situation logically and apart of me falls in love with her all over again that she is able to see the bigger picture but what she doesn’t realize is that there is no picture with out her for me.
She begs me to go find the ship. She doesn’t want our efforts to be in vain and she wants me to find my son. But ever since Liz brought me that slip of paper with the key to the ship I always pictured her by my side when I finally found the damn thing. I kiss her deeply and I promise her and send it to her soul, I’m coming back for you and it’s the only thing that I can think of at this moment. I am coming back for her.
---
Drugs. Do I look like a druggie? I don’t think I do. It’s like that’s the only plausible explanation that anyone could think of when they think about what Isabel, Michael and I are up to something. Every one jumps to that conclusion. My father. Alex. Liz’s parents probably think I am a hardcore cocaine slinging drug lord. But I am not. Maybe I have let my appearance go for the past couple of months. But really, why does everyone think that I do drugs. I try to distract my father so he doesn’t think too much about what he has seen and doesn’t dig to deep but once he brings Liz’s name up I am willing to tell him my deepest and darkest secrets if it can liberate her from that hell that she was put in.
----
Liz’s point of view.
They don’t want me to see Max anymore. Well their grand standing and declarations were point less. They are not going to stop me from being with Max. Nothing is going to keep us apart. They don’t understand and I can see where they are coming from, it was a close call but I wouldn’t change what happened or my decision to stand by Max for anything. He’s apart of me. It’s who I am and I am not going to leave him because of this. Max and I still have a mission to fulfill and my parents, his parents, the government aren’t going to stop us.
---
Max’s point of view.
I can’t. Even though I want to. I can’t tell my father what’s going on. I can’t risk them the way I risked Alex and I can put them in danger.
They are safer this way when their ignorant then they will be with answers. I know that they’re hurting. They love me. They want to help me. But they can’t and they are better off in the dark.
Isabel was wrong. I wanted to tell my father from the moment I first started feeling the changes. I ached to ask my father about what was going on with me when I reached puberty but I know that I couldn’t. I was afraid that he would disown me. That he wouldn’t love me anymore. But I know that he loves me. He loves me as much as a father can love a son and I am grateful.
But that doesn’t change anything. I feel a connection to my father. I love him. But I can’t tell him. Isabel once talked about Mothers and daughters and them being closer then Mothers and sons. I can’t help but think that she doesn’t know a thing about fathers and sons.
Re: Glimpses or Sights at a Glance CC M/L Teen 8/25
A/N: Takes place during the Michael Snapple episode. Repost. This is also the part that gets alittle racier.But it's still teen, but the rating may go up in the future. I'll keep you posted just keep a watch out for A/N. Thanks again for reading.
Mood Music: Lover's Spit by Broken Social Scene from You Forgot It In People
Part 3
Max’s point of view.
I’ve been sleeping in my car for the past week and It hasn’t been comfortable.
But to be honest I haven’t been comfortable since the last night me and Liz were in the motel room together. It was as if the last few months we were wrapped up in our own unique bubble world. Where it was all about us. We always slept together. In the same bed. It just didn’t make sense for us not to. We both would toss and turn and we would feel too far away from one another.
It was just easier for us to be in the same bed and completely entwine ourselves into one another. I can’t say that I didn’t want things to escalate between each other.
Every time she touches me I feel as if every cell within my body is on fire. It’s like all of the nerves within me are reaching out to her just to feel any part of her I can. But I know that she isn’t ready. I am. I feel like I have been ready ever since our heavy petting sessions lead to us finding those damn orbs. I’ve wanted her ever since.
You don’t taste heaven and then stop wanting to taste it. No. You always want more.
This past week has been just as hard on my body as it has been on my soul. To walk past her in the hallways each day has just about drove me insane. It’s so hard to feel her body calling out to mine and not be able to do anything about it. It’s been a hell of a lot worse lately then it has ever been because I know that when I am not with her I am not completely whole. I can’t even begin to believe how ridiculous this all is.
But I know that at least I’ll be able to get some sleep tonight as I clutch her letter to my chest because I can still smell her perfume on the note. It calms me and I settle down in the backseat and I can dream of her.
----
Liz’s point of view.
I am tired. I am frustrated. I am angry. I am going to scream. I am about ready to tear my hair out. There has to be some kind of labor law against this abuse.
My father is working me like seventy hours a week and working me to the bone so that I am too tired to meet up with Max. It’s evil. How can a person do that. There has to be some way to stop him because this is insane. I’m exhausted and for the first time in my life I can honestly say that I am sickened by this restaurant and it’s all his fault.
I smell like vegetable oil and meat and if one more table asks me for more Saturn rings or orbit rings or a Will Smith burger, I think I am going to cry. I can literally feel my grip on my sanity begin to loosen and if I don’t get out of her soon I am going to crack and its not going to be pretty and it’s at that moment that I see the cartoon alien on the wall wave at me, he misses me and I swoon inside and then he says that he wants me and I feel the hairs stand on the back of my neck.
My breath becomes labored as I try to find out where he’s hiding. He has to be close. He couldn’t be doing this from far away and I feel him all over my skin, I feel his warmth. His playfulness and his urgent need at the same time. I am having a hard time concentrating on anything the table has to say. I feel like he is all around me and it’s like I am in a complete haze of passionate heat.
I can’t concentrate on anyone else but him but he is hiding from me. He wants me to seek him out. I begin to bite my lips in anticipation. It appears that he doesn’t have the patience to wait for me anymore and he tells me I’m in the kitchen. He reaches out to me towards our connection and the desire I have for him pulls me to him like a magnet. I don’t even feel like I am in control of myself anymore.
The only thing I can think about is going to him and the rest of the world be damned for a moment. I rush towards the kitchen and I see him threw the steam of the grill and I can’t wait I have to feel his lips on mine. I have to feel his body next to me. I have to be close to him because the week that we’ve been apart has been far too long. He must feel the same way as he grabs me by the waist and devours me.
The only thing I can think to do is continue to kiss him until I need air again. Our kisses are hungry, frantic and urgent and all I can think about is being as close to him as I can be. I feel his tongue on mine and I start to feel light headed.
It feels like a dream, but it’s real and it’s perfect. His lips strip me of all thoughts, all concerns, all worries and all grievances over the past week. All that matters is the now. All that matters is him.
-----
Max’s point of view
I feel hungry. That’s the only adjective I could use to describe how I feel right now. I want her. I miss her and I want to claim her. I feel possessive and I need her time, her attention and I need to ravage her thoroughly because that’s the only thing that matters right now.
She’s been away for too long and she looks to enticing in that neon green dress to not show my appreciation for her figure. I want to cherish her and devote myself to her body. I caresses her back and her legs I am trying to feel as much as her as possible to sustain myself for the next few days I know I’ll have to be with out her.
She tells me that her dad is just outside. I tell her that I know and I make no inclination to stop our frenzied make out session, she doesn’t protest. I think even a small part of it excites her that her father is just outside and we are in a position to get caught. I can sense her arousal and I have to force myself to stay under control. But I can’t stop. I need to keep kissing her.
She tastes so sweet and I haven’t had a proper fill in such a long time. I can’t stop. It’s bliss. Pure and uncontained bliss.
I once told her that when I kissed her I felt heaven and I do, every time our lips meet I feel an earth shatter sensation through out my body it goes down to my toes, through my legs, it hits my groin, my heart, my chest through my arms and biceps and when the sensation hits my head it feels so good that I just want to blackout. I want to immerse myself in her because that’s where I find the only god I know. I told her last Christmas that she is what I believed in and I do. I still do.
Our time is coming to a close and I know that. So I give her one last soul searing kiss and it’s the first time in so long that I feel her soul all of it, no hesitation, no guards, no worries and I cry out in ecstasy this is it. That’s what I’ve been craving for. That’s what I wanted for the last year. I tell her to meet me on Friday night. I have a surprise for her.
She loves my surprises and I am going to give her one she will never forget. She tears herself away from me, but I bring her back for one last union between our lips. One last touch and then I’ll be able to leave. She has to go and now her fathers coming back. Damn it. That wasn’t enough time but I’ll see her on Friday.
----
Liz’s point of view
I feel flushed but invigorated. I can’t wait for Friday.
-----
No. No. I am not hang gliding. I am terrified of heights in the first place. But I can’t help but think that this is a
ridiculously romantic gesture and it’s the very essence of the person that Max is. I am not getting on that glider. Especially looking at the slope and the fall.
I am unbelievably terrified of heights and high places, but Max brings me close to him and tells me to trust him and I do. I trust him with my life. I trust him with my heart and I trust him completely without question. I know he would never let anything happen to me but at the same time I feel that this is so unreal. But being with Max has always managed to taken my breathe away and it seems that this encounter is no different.
He wants to make all of my dreams come true, but I don’t think he notices that he already has. I don’t need a Han gliding lesson to realize that. However I can’t help the giddy feeling and the childish laughter that runs through me while we slowly descend down the path and glide through out the night. The moon is beautiful but I have a more endearing and compelling sight to look at, I get to look into his eyes and that’s the most beautiful sight I’ve ever seen.
----
I feel like a school girl. I can’t remember the last time I had so much fun. The last time any of us could just act like normal and not have to worry about life altering actions or consequences or duty and obligations. Being with Max is just so amazing. He teases me. I can’t help it, I’m in complete awe of the night we had. I kiss him because I have to because I want to because I miss being able to be so open with my affection towards him. I enjoy the small moments I have with him because there is no telling what will happen tomorrow. I treasure the moments I have where I get to be his girlfriend because I don’t get to have too much of those lately. So I am getting as much as I can in this brief moment. I have to go but I don’t stop looking at him until I absolutely have to. I know I am going to sleep so much better tonight.
------
Max’s point of view
I am so glad that I am able to give her this because she deserves it. This and so much more. It seems like everything is trying to tear us apart but I know that we can survive this. We can sneak kisses, we can meet in secret, we can play their game if they want us to. But we can’t be apart from one another. They can’t separate us.
I see a dark figure in the corner of my eye. It’s Liz’s dad. Mr. Parker. I don’t doubt that he’s witnessed everything that just happened between us. I know I should feel like I did something wrong. Like I should be in trouble. That I should be rebuked or reprimanded but I don’t.
I’m not sorry that I took Liz out tonight. But I give the lip service in hopes to appease her father. But she wanted to be with me. She’s mine and after all that we’ve been threw we deserved to have one night where we didn’t have to worry about anyone else but us. I tell him that I love her. But that seems to enrage him even further.
He doesn’t care about my love for her. He tells my I am dangerous. That I am endangering his daughter. I can’t deny it. He’s right. Liz has been in danger because of me and my actions. Her abduction by Nasedo’s hands was a testament to that danger. I can’t lie to Mr. Parker. I am dangerous. I am a marked man. He tells me about his plan to board Liz onto Vermont if I don’t stay away from her. Taking her to an all girls academy school. I never knew that he would take such extreme measure to take her away from me. But I guess I shouldn’t have been surprised. I mean what parents would want their only daughter to spend time with the man that nearly got her locked up for twenty years.
I’m stunned. I really don’t know what to do. Staying away from Liz has always been a problem for me even when we were fighting and at each other’s throats. How can I stay away from the woman I love but at the same time if I try and see her and get caught then she’s going to be sent across the country. Her entire life here would be in shameless. She would lose the only sense of security she had left in the world and she needed to have that. He wanted her to have that.
But could he stay away from her when his soul was calling out for her and ached for her every minute of every day.
Mood Music: Lover's Spit by Broken Social Scene from You Forgot It In People
Part 3
Max’s point of view.
I’ve been sleeping in my car for the past week and It hasn’t been comfortable.
But to be honest I haven’t been comfortable since the last night me and Liz were in the motel room together. It was as if the last few months we were wrapped up in our own unique bubble world. Where it was all about us. We always slept together. In the same bed. It just didn’t make sense for us not to. We both would toss and turn and we would feel too far away from one another.
It was just easier for us to be in the same bed and completely entwine ourselves into one another. I can’t say that I didn’t want things to escalate between each other.
Every time she touches me I feel as if every cell within my body is on fire. It’s like all of the nerves within me are reaching out to her just to feel any part of her I can. But I know that she isn’t ready. I am. I feel like I have been ready ever since our heavy petting sessions lead to us finding those damn orbs. I’ve wanted her ever since.
You don’t taste heaven and then stop wanting to taste it. No. You always want more.
This past week has been just as hard on my body as it has been on my soul. To walk past her in the hallways each day has just about drove me insane. It’s so hard to feel her body calling out to mine and not be able to do anything about it. It’s been a hell of a lot worse lately then it has ever been because I know that when I am not with her I am not completely whole. I can’t even begin to believe how ridiculous this all is.
But I know that at least I’ll be able to get some sleep tonight as I clutch her letter to my chest because I can still smell her perfume on the note. It calms me and I settle down in the backseat and I can dream of her.
----
Liz’s point of view.
I am tired. I am frustrated. I am angry. I am going to scream. I am about ready to tear my hair out. There has to be some kind of labor law against this abuse.
My father is working me like seventy hours a week and working me to the bone so that I am too tired to meet up with Max. It’s evil. How can a person do that. There has to be some way to stop him because this is insane. I’m exhausted and for the first time in my life I can honestly say that I am sickened by this restaurant and it’s all his fault.
I smell like vegetable oil and meat and if one more table asks me for more Saturn rings or orbit rings or a Will Smith burger, I think I am going to cry. I can literally feel my grip on my sanity begin to loosen and if I don’t get out of her soon I am going to crack and its not going to be pretty and it’s at that moment that I see the cartoon alien on the wall wave at me, he misses me and I swoon inside and then he says that he wants me and I feel the hairs stand on the back of my neck.
My breath becomes labored as I try to find out where he’s hiding. He has to be close. He couldn’t be doing this from far away and I feel him all over my skin, I feel his warmth. His playfulness and his urgent need at the same time. I am having a hard time concentrating on anything the table has to say. I feel like he is all around me and it’s like I am in a complete haze of passionate heat.
I can’t concentrate on anyone else but him but he is hiding from me. He wants me to seek him out. I begin to bite my lips in anticipation. It appears that he doesn’t have the patience to wait for me anymore and he tells me I’m in the kitchen. He reaches out to me towards our connection and the desire I have for him pulls me to him like a magnet. I don’t even feel like I am in control of myself anymore.
The only thing I can think about is going to him and the rest of the world be damned for a moment. I rush towards the kitchen and I see him threw the steam of the grill and I can’t wait I have to feel his lips on mine. I have to feel his body next to me. I have to be close to him because the week that we’ve been apart has been far too long. He must feel the same way as he grabs me by the waist and devours me.
The only thing I can think to do is continue to kiss him until I need air again. Our kisses are hungry, frantic and urgent and all I can think about is being as close to him as I can be. I feel his tongue on mine and I start to feel light headed.
It feels like a dream, but it’s real and it’s perfect. His lips strip me of all thoughts, all concerns, all worries and all grievances over the past week. All that matters is the now. All that matters is him.
-----
Max’s point of view
I feel hungry. That’s the only adjective I could use to describe how I feel right now. I want her. I miss her and I want to claim her. I feel possessive and I need her time, her attention and I need to ravage her thoroughly because that’s the only thing that matters right now.
She’s been away for too long and she looks to enticing in that neon green dress to not show my appreciation for her figure. I want to cherish her and devote myself to her body. I caresses her back and her legs I am trying to feel as much as her as possible to sustain myself for the next few days I know I’ll have to be with out her.
She tells me that her dad is just outside. I tell her that I know and I make no inclination to stop our frenzied make out session, she doesn’t protest. I think even a small part of it excites her that her father is just outside and we are in a position to get caught. I can sense her arousal and I have to force myself to stay under control. But I can’t stop. I need to keep kissing her.
She tastes so sweet and I haven’t had a proper fill in such a long time. I can’t stop. It’s bliss. Pure and uncontained bliss.
I once told her that when I kissed her I felt heaven and I do, every time our lips meet I feel an earth shatter sensation through out my body it goes down to my toes, through my legs, it hits my groin, my heart, my chest through my arms and biceps and when the sensation hits my head it feels so good that I just want to blackout. I want to immerse myself in her because that’s where I find the only god I know. I told her last Christmas that she is what I believed in and I do. I still do.
Our time is coming to a close and I know that. So I give her one last soul searing kiss and it’s the first time in so long that I feel her soul all of it, no hesitation, no guards, no worries and I cry out in ecstasy this is it. That’s what I’ve been craving for. That’s what I wanted for the last year. I tell her to meet me on Friday night. I have a surprise for her.
She loves my surprises and I am going to give her one she will never forget. She tears herself away from me, but I bring her back for one last union between our lips. One last touch and then I’ll be able to leave. She has to go and now her fathers coming back. Damn it. That wasn’t enough time but I’ll see her on Friday.
----
Liz’s point of view
I feel flushed but invigorated. I can’t wait for Friday.
-----
No. No. I am not hang gliding. I am terrified of heights in the first place. But I can’t help but think that this is a
ridiculously romantic gesture and it’s the very essence of the person that Max is. I am not getting on that glider. Especially looking at the slope and the fall.
I am unbelievably terrified of heights and high places, but Max brings me close to him and tells me to trust him and I do. I trust him with my life. I trust him with my heart and I trust him completely without question. I know he would never let anything happen to me but at the same time I feel that this is so unreal. But being with Max has always managed to taken my breathe away and it seems that this encounter is no different.
He wants to make all of my dreams come true, but I don’t think he notices that he already has. I don’t need a Han gliding lesson to realize that. However I can’t help the giddy feeling and the childish laughter that runs through me while we slowly descend down the path and glide through out the night. The moon is beautiful but I have a more endearing and compelling sight to look at, I get to look into his eyes and that’s the most beautiful sight I’ve ever seen.
----
I feel like a school girl. I can’t remember the last time I had so much fun. The last time any of us could just act like normal and not have to worry about life altering actions or consequences or duty and obligations. Being with Max is just so amazing. He teases me. I can’t help it, I’m in complete awe of the night we had. I kiss him because I have to because I want to because I miss being able to be so open with my affection towards him. I enjoy the small moments I have with him because there is no telling what will happen tomorrow. I treasure the moments I have where I get to be his girlfriend because I don’t get to have too much of those lately. So I am getting as much as I can in this brief moment. I have to go but I don’t stop looking at him until I absolutely have to. I know I am going to sleep so much better tonight.
------
Max’s point of view
I am so glad that I am able to give her this because she deserves it. This and so much more. It seems like everything is trying to tear us apart but I know that we can survive this. We can sneak kisses, we can meet in secret, we can play their game if they want us to. But we can’t be apart from one another. They can’t separate us.
I see a dark figure in the corner of my eye. It’s Liz’s dad. Mr. Parker. I don’t doubt that he’s witnessed everything that just happened between us. I know I should feel like I did something wrong. Like I should be in trouble. That I should be rebuked or reprimanded but I don’t.
I’m not sorry that I took Liz out tonight. But I give the lip service in hopes to appease her father. But she wanted to be with me. She’s mine and after all that we’ve been threw we deserved to have one night where we didn’t have to worry about anyone else but us. I tell him that I love her. But that seems to enrage him even further.
He doesn’t care about my love for her. He tells my I am dangerous. That I am endangering his daughter. I can’t deny it. He’s right. Liz has been in danger because of me and my actions. Her abduction by Nasedo’s hands was a testament to that danger. I can’t lie to Mr. Parker. I am dangerous. I am a marked man. He tells me about his plan to board Liz onto Vermont if I don’t stay away from her. Taking her to an all girls academy school. I never knew that he would take such extreme measure to take her away from me. But I guess I shouldn’t have been surprised. I mean what parents would want their only daughter to spend time with the man that nearly got her locked up for twenty years.
I’m stunned. I really don’t know what to do. Staying away from Liz has always been a problem for me even when we were fighting and at each other’s throats. How can I stay away from the woman I love but at the same time if I try and see her and get caught then she’s going to be sent across the country. Her entire life here would be in shameless. She would lose the only sense of security she had left in the world and she needed to have that. He wanted her to have that.
But could he stay away from her when his soul was calling out for her and ached for her every minute of every day.
Last edited by Sin on Mon Aug 25, 2008 11:13 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Re: Glimpses or Sights at a Glance CC M/L Teen 8/25
A/N: This takes place during the episode Significant Others. It's still TEEN.
Part 4
Mood Music: I Love You by Sarah McLaughin from Sufracing
Liz’s point of view
I don’t think I’ve ever disliked my father more in my life then I do right now.
It’s like every time I look at him I feel this uncontrollable anger and resentment towards him and it takes everything within me to bite my tongue around him lately. He denies me the one person in this world that truly sees and understands me.
Who adores me, loves me and brings me the purest joy I have ever felt. Perhaps I would be more understanding if he understood what I felt and didn’t try to brush it off as some infatuation or crush. Every time he tells me that “there are other fish in the sea” or that I’ll “find someone else” I feel insulted. This isn’t some summer fling, and he saw how I was last year without him. I was miserable.
Would my own father really want me to be miserable rather then give Max a chance to show him that he isn’t this criminal that he believes he is.
“Chili and a hotdog” I tell him. He asks me if I want fries with that and I can feel myself seething on the inside. He doesn’t listen to a word I say. I didn’t ask for fries. I take a breathe and hiss out. “Did I ask for fries?”. He gives me this heartbroken look and I know I should feel bad, his protecting me. Looking out for me the best way he knows how. But that doesn’t change the fact that he still doesn’t respect me enough to make my own choices and decisions.
If he keeps pushing Max away from me and interfering with my relationship with him there is no choice. No hesitation. He will lose me. He needs to realize that.
I can’t be next to him any more. If I stay next to him any longer then I think I’ll say something I’ll regret later. I don’t want it to be this way but he isn’t giving me much of a choice. If he thinks that were going to still have the same relationship we used to have he is going to have a very rude awakening.
Maria comes bouncing towards me and nudges me, teasing me telling me that she works here too. I jokingly tell her that we should stage a revolt and free the slaves. That’s how I have been feeling lately. Like a prison in my own home. Between my ninety hour work week and school I barely have enough time to sleep as it is.
Not only has my love life been adversely affected but so has my social life. I am not only livid over the fact that I can’t see my boyfriend but I am missing out on what is supposed to be the best years of my life. I don’t even get to hang out with my friends in my senior year. I’ve given up a lot of normalcy over the past two years and I don’t regret it, however having my parents bar me from social activates for the last few weeks has filled me with so much anger and bitterness that my head begins to ache.
I fill Maria in on my hopelessness. “I can’t go anywhere or do anything” and I am so sick of the grease and smell of this restaurant. I seriously had a dream about burning this place down last night and the idea was tempting me even now. That’s how bad it has gotten.
It’s so much worse because I have no release at all. I just have work. Work and school. When the weekend comes my dad has me open and close the restaurant, it’s beyond insane. If that wasn’t enough to make me miserable my dad constantly threatens to ship me off to Vermont.
Maria pipes in saying that me and Max tried to rob a convenience store and I don’t think I can take it. I get enough of this from my parents. I am not supposed to hear this from my best friend. She is supposed to understand. Sympathize. Not agree and condone the fact that my parents are slowly stripping me away from every important thing that matters to me.
She’s supposed to be on my side. I am not supposed to have to argue and make excuses with her. Of course she wouldn’t understand. She is practically living at her boyfriends apartment, unsupervised and she gets to see him pretty much anytime she wants.
Even with Michael’s hectic work schedule if she wanted to she could pass by either of his jobs and see him. She could talk with him and she could be with him. I don’t have that luxury. I don’t even get to glance at my boyfriend because if some teacher sees me looking at him, their will be a written report and a call to my father by the end of the day.
I am unbelievably jealous of the fact that she can see Max and I can't. I know he is currently living with Michael and she sees him every time she goes over there. I wish she could understand and see things from my side. But it’s pretty obvious she doesn’t. If she did she wouldn’t have brought up the side comment about the robberies.
I know I am being unreasonable and incrediablly over sensitive and I realize that I can’t have this conversation with her. I am acting too defensive at the moment.
Probably because that’s all I have been doing for the last few weeks. I am tired of defending myself and my actions. So I give her a an empty reply saying that we didn’t actually rob the store and I walk away feeling alone. Like I have no one on my side.
The one person that could comfort me is being forced away from me and all I can do is watch. I don’t want to feel like this anymore. I don’t want to feel isolated or alone. I felt enough of that last year. When Future Max came to me and begged me to change the timeline, when Alex was dead and I just knew that something was going on behind the scenes and no one believed me, When Max left New York last year for a galactic conference.
I know that if I could just see him then I would feel so much better. But as it stands it seems like I am forced to move forward without receiving any comfort or solace.
----
I want to run away with him. Yes. I have already had it planned in my mind.
Okay maybe not run away. But I do want to move in with him. It’s crazy being away from him and if I have to go back to my house after tonight I think I am going to have a nervous break down. I am suffocating there. It’s like all four of my walls are moving in on me. They taunt me and the worst part is I can’t escape without getting the third degree and after a circular argument with my father I end up not getting to go anyway at all.
It’s like every day that I am there me and my dad are in this permanent battle of wits, words and passive aggressive actions. The apartment is stifled with tension and it’s starting to get with me. That’s why I had to get out at least for tonight. It’s just too much and it’s starting to wear down on me. Me and my dad are just caught in this endless cycle.
I do things to annoy him and he double back and does stuff to annoy me. It’s an endless and senseless war that isn’t going to stop until one of us does something that we are really going to regret. I tell him my thoughts.
“I want to move out”. He’s shocked I can tell. But he is reluctant to acknowledge my confession. He asks me what are we going to do after I move out. I know he isn’t thinking about this seriously. But I also love the fact that he recognizes that it’s a “we” or an “us” problem because it shows that we are together and united.
I know I am not being practical or even realistic. But I’m frantic to find a way out. “We could move in together”. I smile and I can tell from the small gleam in his eye that he doesn’t have a problem with the suggestion but he still isn’t giving in.
I come closer to him and push myself against him maybe I could entice him into seeing things my way. I hear his grown and he brings his arm around me and I feel like I am flying, it’s just like we were a few weeks ago. I can still feel the wind in my hair as we hang glided through the desert.
I rub my hands across his back and his shoulders and his breath catches. I love that I can cause these reactions from him. I put my head on his chest and listen to his heartbeat. I needed to feel his closeness, it’s been so long without it. I feel a delicious sensation against my cheek as his voice rumbles through out his chest. He tells me that he wants to move in for the right reasons.
I look into his eyes and I see his tenderness, his love for me. He wants their blessing. He wants their support. He wants them to like him because he doesn’t want things to be strained between us and I fall in love with him all over again. I pull him closer to me and push my hands underneath his shirt and press them against his stomach, I feel his muscles ripple in response to my actions and he gasps. I tell him what better reason could we have for moving in together then to be with each other. I lick his neck and nibble on his earlobe just the way he likes and I can feel his heartbeat quicken. I take a break from my administrations. “We could just leave tonight and find some place”. I half moan. He pushes himself away from me and I feel cold.
He takes my face in his hands and he tells me the cost is too high. He takes my hand and we continue walking down the road. I tell him we’ll get jobs. I’m half pleading at this point. I squeeze his had so he’ll look at me. He stops and I get lost in his eyes, he is home for me. That's the only place that I feel like myself where I am totally comfortable.
He doesn’t want to destroy my family. What he doesn’t realize is that my Dad is destroying my family now already and that my entire life is in shambles because of him to begin with. I don’t feel like me anymore. That only time I do is when I am with him. I give him a broken look and I tell him calmly. “There destroying us”. They’re destroying me.
I know this is hard on him too. I know he is still having nightmares about his son and he is still feeling helpless and I hate that I can’t help him with that. How am I supposed to help him find his son and give him peace when I can barely spend fifteen minutes with him due to these illogical restrictions my father puts on me. He opens his soul to me and I feel us. The essence of our connection. He tells me that I am with him. All of the time. I give him a half smile. He’s being his usual charming self but it doesn’t help that it isn’t enough for me. It’s not enough for us when we can only have stolen moments in darkest nights.
It shouldn’t have to be this way. I’m not ashamed of my feelings for him. I’m not afraid or reluctant to be with him. Yet here we are in this abandoned street two blocks away from my house as if this is the seediest secret in Roswell’s recent history. I need to hold him. To show him that I need him and that I am not ashamed to be with him and that if things were different I would be with him all of the time. That he is what is important to me, and he means the most to me out of everything in my life.
-----
There arguing again. It’s not a rare occurrence especially over the past few weeks. It’s all becoming pretty much second nature to all of us now. I feel a bit of regret for blowing up at mom earlier. This hasn’t been easy on her. She’s had to be the mediator between us and our increasing conflicts have been taking a toll on her. My dad’s actions are tearing everything a part and at this moment it’s hard to have sympathy for him. I feel like I am being persecuted for something I have no control over. I can’t stop loving him and I won’t and I wouldn’t change the choices that I have made for anything.
---
Max’s point of view
I’m deluded. I am actually considering getting a place that me and Liz could move into to avoid her father. I don’t think it’s possible but I can’t help myself.
Ever since we talked about it last night my head has filled with the possibility of us getting or own place. It doesn’t help that I witness Maria and Michael over the past few weeks indulge in domestic bliss. Okay maybe that’s too far. I would have to call it some sort of mating ritual because it’s not bliss at all.
It’s usual petty arguing, flinging of the objects and then they end up mauling each other until they reach the bedroom and then there’s a steady consistent banging sound against the wall. That’s when I feel an overwhelming need to leave the apartment.
I can’t really move in with her but at the same time I want all of the little domestic experiences that the normal boyfriends and girlfriend go threw. I want to mess up the laundry, I want to put my Counting Crows albums next to her Sarah McLaughlin ones, I want to berate her saccharine movie choices and tickle her senseless on the couch and then kiss her until she can barely think straight. I want to mesh all of our stuff together in one room and more then anything I long to share a bed with her. Which we haven’t done in a month. One painfully long month.
I want to feel her next to me. I want to entwine myself so far into her that we don’t remember were we separate. I want to feel her head on my chest, I want to see her face when I wake up, I want to kiss her awake and lose myself in her eyes when the first rays of sunshine hit them. I don’t know what to do. I know that if the same thing that happened last night happens again then I will end up caving into whatever she wants and I can’t do that.
I can’t take her away from her home. Her family. There her parents and she loves them. “I need to cool things down. Turn down the heat” a very prominent member of my body firmly disagrees with what I have said. But I know it’s for the best. But as that happens I think of the way she pressed herself up against me last night. The way she curved into me so seemlessly. How soft her hands felt against my back. The feel of her nails against my stomach and then her mouth against my earlobe. Stop. Think of mud. Mud. Mud. Mud.
I think I’ll take a walk, maybe get rid of some of this excess energy. I know Maria just came in and she is about five seconds away from mincing Michael into meat. “I’ll see you guys later”
------
I need to talk to Liz’s father. Maybe he’ll listen. Maybe he won’t. Maybe if I tell him that I mean no harm maybe he’ll see me differently.
Maybe if I show him that I am not a threat and not a criminal master mind that he’ll lighten up. I know it’s unlikely but I can’t just watch Liz go threw this every day and not do something about it. I know that it’s been hard on her to watch her home turn into a war zone.
I want to help and I’ll do anything I can to help her. She’s not telling me something. I can tell. I want her to be honest with me. I want her to tell me everything that’s going on with her. I feel like she has done so much for me and she has sacrificed so much to be with me. I want to be able to comfort her. Give her my support. I want her to be able to tell me her fears, her problems.
She tells me that she doesn’t want to weigh me down with her problems. She doesn’t want to burden me. But I am already caring that burden, I just don’t know what it is and it will be a lot easier if she just tells me. I nudge her chin gently. “Tell me. Go ahead. Weigh me down with it.”. I look deep into her eyes, eyes that I got lost in for the last nine years of my life. “I can handle it”. She leans her head forward to mine and licks her lips, she's a hairs breath away from mine when the door swiftly opens.
The moments shattered when Mr. Greendrige catches us in the eraser room. It looks like I’ll have to be seeing Mr. Parker sooner then I planned.
----
Liz’s point of view
When did I stop being a fully functioning adult? When did I become an in valid? When did I lose my right to make my own choices?
It feels like nothing in my life is in my control anymore. I can no longer make my own choices or desicions. I have never been so embarrassed in my life. I feel hopeless. There’s a thousand emotions running threw me right now and I feel like I can’t express even one of them. I feel powerless. It’s like I have been thrown back into some medival time period or something. I need everyone to stop. I’m tired of fighting. I am tired of fighting with my father. I am tired of fighting with my parents. I am tired of every one treating me like I can’t make up my own mind. People need to stop telling me what to feel and how to act. I'm in shock. Oh God. Max is coming in the restaurant. All hell is about to break loose. My Dad comes barrelling out of the kitchen and yells at him to get out, by the third time he ends up pushing Max and I have to stop my father from escalating the situation. I know the emotion that I want to express now. As I watch the defeated expression splay across my boyfriends face. “I hate you”. And I do. I hate that he has marred my loves face with saddness and hopelessness. I hate him for his lack of respect. Lack of trust. Lack of acceptance.
-----
Max’s point of view
I don’t know what to say.
I don’t want to tell Isabel what to do but at the same time I have this need for self preservation. Ever since Alex died I haven’t wanted to let anyone else know about our secret. It’s dangerous and to be honest I just feel that Jesse is too much of an anomaly at the moment. I want Isabel to be happy. I want her to have that. I do. But it just seems too much of a risk. I don’t want to bully her decision, not like last spring. I shiver.
But at the same time I want her to know that I don’t agree with what she is saying. She tells me about Liz and how I have someone. I can see her point. If I hadn’t told Liz I really don’t know where I would be. I would most likely be living in the shadow existence. Hiding but never really feeling or living.
She has changed my life. All of our friends in our group have. But we have lost so much as well. Look at what knowing us has caused? Valenti lost his job. Alex died as a result of us involving him and even now Liz’s life is being adversely effected because I am in her life. I don’t want him to tell her. I give her my opinion. Including Jesse is a real risk.
“You can’t tell him Isabel…for his sake”.
-----
Liz’s point of view
I’m caught. I know I’m caught. My mother knows me well. A little to well. Or maybe I just haven’t gotten much practice at being “the bad girl”. She obviously is more experienced then I am at this. I’m floored. She isn’t lecturing me. She isn’t forbidding me not to go any where or telling me how I need to stay home for various reasons. She’s warning me. She’s got me hooked and hey I’ll bite. “Does Dad know?”
“This isn’t something he needs to hear about.” she replies but I need to know what’s going on. I need to know why Dad feels so strongly against me seeing Max. I know there’s more to it then our excursion to Utah. “Mom please. Tell me what‘s going on”. She tells me the story and I understand. I don’t agree. But I can see it from his perspective and for the first time in nearly a month.
I begin to understand and I feel a sense of relief pass threw me. This isn’t really so much about me and Max. It’s about my Dad and his demons. I can forgive him because I understand. This fighting ends tonight. I am going to end it tonight.
----
Part 4
Mood Music: I Love You by Sarah McLaughin from Sufracing
Liz’s point of view
I don’t think I’ve ever disliked my father more in my life then I do right now.
It’s like every time I look at him I feel this uncontrollable anger and resentment towards him and it takes everything within me to bite my tongue around him lately. He denies me the one person in this world that truly sees and understands me.
Who adores me, loves me and brings me the purest joy I have ever felt. Perhaps I would be more understanding if he understood what I felt and didn’t try to brush it off as some infatuation or crush. Every time he tells me that “there are other fish in the sea” or that I’ll “find someone else” I feel insulted. This isn’t some summer fling, and he saw how I was last year without him. I was miserable.
Would my own father really want me to be miserable rather then give Max a chance to show him that he isn’t this criminal that he believes he is.
“Chili and a hotdog” I tell him. He asks me if I want fries with that and I can feel myself seething on the inside. He doesn’t listen to a word I say. I didn’t ask for fries. I take a breathe and hiss out. “Did I ask for fries?”. He gives me this heartbroken look and I know I should feel bad, his protecting me. Looking out for me the best way he knows how. But that doesn’t change the fact that he still doesn’t respect me enough to make my own choices and decisions.
If he keeps pushing Max away from me and interfering with my relationship with him there is no choice. No hesitation. He will lose me. He needs to realize that.
I can’t be next to him any more. If I stay next to him any longer then I think I’ll say something I’ll regret later. I don’t want it to be this way but he isn’t giving me much of a choice. If he thinks that were going to still have the same relationship we used to have he is going to have a very rude awakening.
Maria comes bouncing towards me and nudges me, teasing me telling me that she works here too. I jokingly tell her that we should stage a revolt and free the slaves. That’s how I have been feeling lately. Like a prison in my own home. Between my ninety hour work week and school I barely have enough time to sleep as it is.
Not only has my love life been adversely affected but so has my social life. I am not only livid over the fact that I can’t see my boyfriend but I am missing out on what is supposed to be the best years of my life. I don’t even get to hang out with my friends in my senior year. I’ve given up a lot of normalcy over the past two years and I don’t regret it, however having my parents bar me from social activates for the last few weeks has filled me with so much anger and bitterness that my head begins to ache.
I fill Maria in on my hopelessness. “I can’t go anywhere or do anything” and I am so sick of the grease and smell of this restaurant. I seriously had a dream about burning this place down last night and the idea was tempting me even now. That’s how bad it has gotten.
It’s so much worse because I have no release at all. I just have work. Work and school. When the weekend comes my dad has me open and close the restaurant, it’s beyond insane. If that wasn’t enough to make me miserable my dad constantly threatens to ship me off to Vermont.
Maria pipes in saying that me and Max tried to rob a convenience store and I don’t think I can take it. I get enough of this from my parents. I am not supposed to hear this from my best friend. She is supposed to understand. Sympathize. Not agree and condone the fact that my parents are slowly stripping me away from every important thing that matters to me.
She’s supposed to be on my side. I am not supposed to have to argue and make excuses with her. Of course she wouldn’t understand. She is practically living at her boyfriends apartment, unsupervised and she gets to see him pretty much anytime she wants.
Even with Michael’s hectic work schedule if she wanted to she could pass by either of his jobs and see him. She could talk with him and she could be with him. I don’t have that luxury. I don’t even get to glance at my boyfriend because if some teacher sees me looking at him, their will be a written report and a call to my father by the end of the day.
I am unbelievably jealous of the fact that she can see Max and I can't. I know he is currently living with Michael and she sees him every time she goes over there. I wish she could understand and see things from my side. But it’s pretty obvious she doesn’t. If she did she wouldn’t have brought up the side comment about the robberies.
I know I am being unreasonable and incrediablly over sensitive and I realize that I can’t have this conversation with her. I am acting too defensive at the moment.
Probably because that’s all I have been doing for the last few weeks. I am tired of defending myself and my actions. So I give her a an empty reply saying that we didn’t actually rob the store and I walk away feeling alone. Like I have no one on my side.
The one person that could comfort me is being forced away from me and all I can do is watch. I don’t want to feel like this anymore. I don’t want to feel isolated or alone. I felt enough of that last year. When Future Max came to me and begged me to change the timeline, when Alex was dead and I just knew that something was going on behind the scenes and no one believed me, When Max left New York last year for a galactic conference.
I know that if I could just see him then I would feel so much better. But as it stands it seems like I am forced to move forward without receiving any comfort or solace.
----
I want to run away with him. Yes. I have already had it planned in my mind.
Okay maybe not run away. But I do want to move in with him. It’s crazy being away from him and if I have to go back to my house after tonight I think I am going to have a nervous break down. I am suffocating there. It’s like all four of my walls are moving in on me. They taunt me and the worst part is I can’t escape without getting the third degree and after a circular argument with my father I end up not getting to go anyway at all.
It’s like every day that I am there me and my dad are in this permanent battle of wits, words and passive aggressive actions. The apartment is stifled with tension and it’s starting to get with me. That’s why I had to get out at least for tonight. It’s just too much and it’s starting to wear down on me. Me and my dad are just caught in this endless cycle.
I do things to annoy him and he double back and does stuff to annoy me. It’s an endless and senseless war that isn’t going to stop until one of us does something that we are really going to regret. I tell him my thoughts.
“I want to move out”. He’s shocked I can tell. But he is reluctant to acknowledge my confession. He asks me what are we going to do after I move out. I know he isn’t thinking about this seriously. But I also love the fact that he recognizes that it’s a “we” or an “us” problem because it shows that we are together and united.
I know I am not being practical or even realistic. But I’m frantic to find a way out. “We could move in together”. I smile and I can tell from the small gleam in his eye that he doesn’t have a problem with the suggestion but he still isn’t giving in.
I come closer to him and push myself against him maybe I could entice him into seeing things my way. I hear his grown and he brings his arm around me and I feel like I am flying, it’s just like we were a few weeks ago. I can still feel the wind in my hair as we hang glided through the desert.
I rub my hands across his back and his shoulders and his breath catches. I love that I can cause these reactions from him. I put my head on his chest and listen to his heartbeat. I needed to feel his closeness, it’s been so long without it. I feel a delicious sensation against my cheek as his voice rumbles through out his chest. He tells me that he wants to move in for the right reasons.
I look into his eyes and I see his tenderness, his love for me. He wants their blessing. He wants their support. He wants them to like him because he doesn’t want things to be strained between us and I fall in love with him all over again. I pull him closer to me and push my hands underneath his shirt and press them against his stomach, I feel his muscles ripple in response to my actions and he gasps. I tell him what better reason could we have for moving in together then to be with each other. I lick his neck and nibble on his earlobe just the way he likes and I can feel his heartbeat quicken. I take a break from my administrations. “We could just leave tonight and find some place”. I half moan. He pushes himself away from me and I feel cold.
He takes my face in his hands and he tells me the cost is too high. He takes my hand and we continue walking down the road. I tell him we’ll get jobs. I’m half pleading at this point. I squeeze his had so he’ll look at me. He stops and I get lost in his eyes, he is home for me. That's the only place that I feel like myself where I am totally comfortable.
He doesn’t want to destroy my family. What he doesn’t realize is that my Dad is destroying my family now already and that my entire life is in shambles because of him to begin with. I don’t feel like me anymore. That only time I do is when I am with him. I give him a broken look and I tell him calmly. “There destroying us”. They’re destroying me.
I know this is hard on him too. I know he is still having nightmares about his son and he is still feeling helpless and I hate that I can’t help him with that. How am I supposed to help him find his son and give him peace when I can barely spend fifteen minutes with him due to these illogical restrictions my father puts on me. He opens his soul to me and I feel us. The essence of our connection. He tells me that I am with him. All of the time. I give him a half smile. He’s being his usual charming self but it doesn’t help that it isn’t enough for me. It’s not enough for us when we can only have stolen moments in darkest nights.
It shouldn’t have to be this way. I’m not ashamed of my feelings for him. I’m not afraid or reluctant to be with him. Yet here we are in this abandoned street two blocks away from my house as if this is the seediest secret in Roswell’s recent history. I need to hold him. To show him that I need him and that I am not ashamed to be with him and that if things were different I would be with him all of the time. That he is what is important to me, and he means the most to me out of everything in my life.
-----
There arguing again. It’s not a rare occurrence especially over the past few weeks. It’s all becoming pretty much second nature to all of us now. I feel a bit of regret for blowing up at mom earlier. This hasn’t been easy on her. She’s had to be the mediator between us and our increasing conflicts have been taking a toll on her. My dad’s actions are tearing everything a part and at this moment it’s hard to have sympathy for him. I feel like I am being persecuted for something I have no control over. I can’t stop loving him and I won’t and I wouldn’t change the choices that I have made for anything.
---
Max’s point of view
I’m deluded. I am actually considering getting a place that me and Liz could move into to avoid her father. I don’t think it’s possible but I can’t help myself.
Ever since we talked about it last night my head has filled with the possibility of us getting or own place. It doesn’t help that I witness Maria and Michael over the past few weeks indulge in domestic bliss. Okay maybe that’s too far. I would have to call it some sort of mating ritual because it’s not bliss at all.
It’s usual petty arguing, flinging of the objects and then they end up mauling each other until they reach the bedroom and then there’s a steady consistent banging sound against the wall. That’s when I feel an overwhelming need to leave the apartment.
I can’t really move in with her but at the same time I want all of the little domestic experiences that the normal boyfriends and girlfriend go threw. I want to mess up the laundry, I want to put my Counting Crows albums next to her Sarah McLaughlin ones, I want to berate her saccharine movie choices and tickle her senseless on the couch and then kiss her until she can barely think straight. I want to mesh all of our stuff together in one room and more then anything I long to share a bed with her. Which we haven’t done in a month. One painfully long month.
I want to feel her next to me. I want to entwine myself so far into her that we don’t remember were we separate. I want to feel her head on my chest, I want to see her face when I wake up, I want to kiss her awake and lose myself in her eyes when the first rays of sunshine hit them. I don’t know what to do. I know that if the same thing that happened last night happens again then I will end up caving into whatever she wants and I can’t do that.
I can’t take her away from her home. Her family. There her parents and she loves them. “I need to cool things down. Turn down the heat” a very prominent member of my body firmly disagrees with what I have said. But I know it’s for the best. But as that happens I think of the way she pressed herself up against me last night. The way she curved into me so seemlessly. How soft her hands felt against my back. The feel of her nails against my stomach and then her mouth against my earlobe. Stop. Think of mud. Mud. Mud. Mud.
I think I’ll take a walk, maybe get rid of some of this excess energy. I know Maria just came in and she is about five seconds away from mincing Michael into meat. “I’ll see you guys later”
------
I need to talk to Liz’s father. Maybe he’ll listen. Maybe he won’t. Maybe if I tell him that I mean no harm maybe he’ll see me differently.
Maybe if I show him that I am not a threat and not a criminal master mind that he’ll lighten up. I know it’s unlikely but I can’t just watch Liz go threw this every day and not do something about it. I know that it’s been hard on her to watch her home turn into a war zone.
I want to help and I’ll do anything I can to help her. She’s not telling me something. I can tell. I want her to be honest with me. I want her to tell me everything that’s going on with her. I feel like she has done so much for me and she has sacrificed so much to be with me. I want to be able to comfort her. Give her my support. I want her to be able to tell me her fears, her problems.
She tells me that she doesn’t want to weigh me down with her problems. She doesn’t want to burden me. But I am already caring that burden, I just don’t know what it is and it will be a lot easier if she just tells me. I nudge her chin gently. “Tell me. Go ahead. Weigh me down with it.”. I look deep into her eyes, eyes that I got lost in for the last nine years of my life. “I can handle it”. She leans her head forward to mine and licks her lips, she's a hairs breath away from mine when the door swiftly opens.
The moments shattered when Mr. Greendrige catches us in the eraser room. It looks like I’ll have to be seeing Mr. Parker sooner then I planned.
----
Liz’s point of view
When did I stop being a fully functioning adult? When did I become an in valid? When did I lose my right to make my own choices?
It feels like nothing in my life is in my control anymore. I can no longer make my own choices or desicions. I have never been so embarrassed in my life. I feel hopeless. There’s a thousand emotions running threw me right now and I feel like I can’t express even one of them. I feel powerless. It’s like I have been thrown back into some medival time period or something. I need everyone to stop. I’m tired of fighting. I am tired of fighting with my father. I am tired of fighting with my parents. I am tired of every one treating me like I can’t make up my own mind. People need to stop telling me what to feel and how to act. I'm in shock. Oh God. Max is coming in the restaurant. All hell is about to break loose. My Dad comes barrelling out of the kitchen and yells at him to get out, by the third time he ends up pushing Max and I have to stop my father from escalating the situation. I know the emotion that I want to express now. As I watch the defeated expression splay across my boyfriends face. “I hate you”. And I do. I hate that he has marred my loves face with saddness and hopelessness. I hate him for his lack of respect. Lack of trust. Lack of acceptance.
-----
Max’s point of view
I don’t know what to say.
I don’t want to tell Isabel what to do but at the same time I have this need for self preservation. Ever since Alex died I haven’t wanted to let anyone else know about our secret. It’s dangerous and to be honest I just feel that Jesse is too much of an anomaly at the moment. I want Isabel to be happy. I want her to have that. I do. But it just seems too much of a risk. I don’t want to bully her decision, not like last spring. I shiver.
But at the same time I want her to know that I don’t agree with what she is saying. She tells me about Liz and how I have someone. I can see her point. If I hadn’t told Liz I really don’t know where I would be. I would most likely be living in the shadow existence. Hiding but never really feeling or living.
She has changed my life. All of our friends in our group have. But we have lost so much as well. Look at what knowing us has caused? Valenti lost his job. Alex died as a result of us involving him and even now Liz’s life is being adversely effected because I am in her life. I don’t want him to tell her. I give her my opinion. Including Jesse is a real risk.
“You can’t tell him Isabel…for his sake”.
-----
Liz’s point of view
I’m caught. I know I’m caught. My mother knows me well. A little to well. Or maybe I just haven’t gotten much practice at being “the bad girl”. She obviously is more experienced then I am at this. I’m floored. She isn’t lecturing me. She isn’t forbidding me not to go any where or telling me how I need to stay home for various reasons. She’s warning me. She’s got me hooked and hey I’ll bite. “Does Dad know?”
“This isn’t something he needs to hear about.” she replies but I need to know what’s going on. I need to know why Dad feels so strongly against me seeing Max. I know there’s more to it then our excursion to Utah. “Mom please. Tell me what‘s going on”. She tells me the story and I understand. I don’t agree. But I can see it from his perspective and for the first time in nearly a month.
I begin to understand and I feel a sense of relief pass threw me. This isn’t really so much about me and Max. It’s about my Dad and his demons. I can forgive him because I understand. This fighting ends tonight. I am going to end it tonight.
----
Last edited by Sin on Sat Aug 30, 2008 8:43 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Re: Glimpses or Sights at a Glance CC M/L Teen Part 4 8/26
A/N: This takes place during Secrets and Lies. Dialogue in quotations. Feedback is the air I breathe. It's threw your opinons and support that I get the motivation to write this story. All comments are appreciated.
Mood Music: The Story by Brandie Carlie from The Story
Max’s point of view
Knock. Knock. Knock.
It’s a Saturday who could possibly be knocking on my door at seven o’clock in the morning.
Granted it isn’t my door but I live here and I know that Michael doesn’t even roll over this early in the morning so this offender at our door could not be someone he knows.
I hope it’s not Isabel again, she’s been on us constantly with this Jessie secret. She even has a couple compelling arguments but I am still against telling anyone else about us. I still feel that involving Jesse would be a huge mistake for him and for us.
We made a pact. The three of us would never tell anyone else about our secret after Alex died. So that way we would never have to deal with the guilt of involving anyone else in our little group. No one else needed to be burdened with this secret and with the pain that knowing all of us causes.
Now she wants to compromise that pact and it’s turning everything upside down and causing even more conflict that we don’t need between the three of us. I know Isabel feels hurt and angry at our dismissal and I also know that she feels coerced into keeping the secret and she feels torn by two different loyalties. I just hope that Michael and I are winning in the waging war inside her but at the same time I am terrified that she is going to resent me all the more for making her keep Jesse at arms length.
This whole situation is making me feel like that irrational dictator I was last Spring and I hate feeling like that. I hate that me and Isabel are always coming to blows over our problems. She wanted to tell our parents and I forced her to put a wall up between her and our mother, she wanted to go to San Francisco and I threatened to destroy her reputation, she wants to tell Jesse and I end up pressuring her to keep quite and lie to her significant other. Even though this may be incredibly difficult for her I feel right with my decision.
This could just be a fling. Something that comes and goes. A fleeting summer infatuation and we can’t risk our existence for that.
The rude banging intrudes on my thoughts and I am compelled to answer the door to stop the irritating thud that shouldn’t even be present at this ungodly hour.
Uh-Oh.
It’s Deputy Brown, I couldn’t have gotten into trouble I haven’t done anything. Michael. Michael stole more Snapple. That has to be it. “Max Evans”. damn. I give an unsure smile. “Is something wrong?” I can’t afford to get in any more trouble with the law.
I won’t have my father to bail me out this time and I don’t think a court appointed lawyer would give a damn about me at this point. A second strike is not good. Especially when I was just held in a Utah cell not a month ago. Mr. Parker is not going to let me within fifty feet of Liz after this. Homicide. This is worse then I thought. If they think I am involved in a murder investigation I’m in even worse trouble.
But I have no clue what he is talking about. I don’t kill people and the only killer I know is light years away from here…with my son. Whose is horror increases night after night and calls out to me when I sleep and leaves me petrified in a cold sweat every morning. The deputy brings me out of my trance and I just know that something’s wrong and I am going to be in serious problem soon.
As soon as the deputy hands me a picture of a older man whose maybe sixty or so years old I feel even more confused about what this has to do with me.
I tell him I have no idea who this man is and that I don’t recognize his face and I certainly don’t know anyone in Los Angeles, California. With the exception to my trip in New York nearly a year ago I haven’t been outside of Roswell. I don’t know who this man is but I am beginning to feel a pull towards the photo, I don’t know why but it’s just a feeling. A feeling I can’t shake. I ask the deputy who this man is.
The name doesn’t ring a bell. Joey Ferrini. It sounds a little funny to me but that’s not what’s important. He knew my license plate number. Why. Was he looking for me. Was he an alien hunter? Maybe I am being mildly paranoid but it’s just too odd that this guy had my license plate number and then ended up dead. Why was he so interested to me to take down my plate number. Something isn’t adding up. Something’s not right.
But maybe I’m looking too much into it. After all I’ve only had the car a couple months. Just before me and Liz took to the road and ended up trying to find that underground warehouse that housed my ship. Maybe this is all a misunderstanding. But I know that my first instinct is correct when I see Michael glance at the picture and shift uncomfortably a the head shot of the older man.
The deputy gives me a spiel about my past transgressions with a law as if I didn’t already know I was on thin ice. I tell him that those charges were dropped he doesn’t seem to care about that. This guy’s out for me. I might have to be more careful around him and around town. We all might. He mocks me.
Tells me that I got off easy because of my father and his practice. The wounds over the fall out with my father still haven’t healed, and him reminding me of the estranged relationship between me and the man I idolized ever since I could remember string like salt in a tender new wound.
As if the fights with Isabel, my fall out with my parents and my restriction to see Liz wasn’t bad enough now I have to deal with a disgruntled deputy and a homicide investigation.
I glance at Michael and take in his disrupted state. He’s trying to hide it but I know him to well. “What is it Michael?” He tells me that he knows the dead guy.
I knew it would have been too much to ask for it to be a coincidence and it clearly was. I must have pissed someone off good in my previous life because all of this bad luck can’t be normal. I chuckle to myself. I’m beginning to believe Kyle’s thoughts about Karma and what not.
I need to clear my head and focus on the crisis me and Michael are in now. Michael was doing too good, I should have seen this happening. What did he drag us into now.
----
I fill Liz in on what Michael told me. I tell her about the now dead man who tried to stop us from getting my old ship, about the mysterious death and how I think it’s all connected to one another. I want to get her opinion on it. She keeps me balanced. She brings me a sense of clarity and a real honest objective look at everything. I really don’t know how to feel. I know this is important but at the same time I’m desperate.
I’m so desperate that I could be making this even bigger then what it really is and I just need to hear her thoughts on it. She echo’s my thoughts. An alien killed him. An alien killed him because he was getting to close. A shape shifting alien. Maybe. I have to find out. I have to find out how to get to my space ship and that means leaving to Los Angeles. This is too dangerous and I can see the light in her eyes. She wants to come with me. I long for the summer days where we went on the road in search for the ship. It was like home just being with her.
The run down motels didn’t bother me. I got a chance to hold her close at night and to wake with her in the morning and it was everything I wanted. Everything I needed. It was perfect. Heaven. And it’s been a complete hell not to have that for the past couple of months.
But I can’t let her come with me. It’s too dangerous. Especially if it’s a shape shifting alien that’s killing and not even being discrete about it. It’s too much like Nasedo and I couldn’t bear it if this new deranged killer were to kidnap her the way Nasedo did. I am not going to risk her life again. I am not going to ruin her life. This is my mess and I have to clean it up. I can’t let her come with me. No matter how bad I want to. And I really. Really. Want to. She’s been away from me for so long and it would be so easy. She’s so willing. But I can’t.
I can see that’s she’s worried about me. I see the tears that threaten to fall from her eyes. I cup her face in my hands and hush her. I bring her close and just hold her the way I have wanted to do over the past week.
“What if he tries to kill you” she mumbles into my shirt. I kiss the top of her head and gentle nudge her chin with my hand. I kiss her. It’s tender, it’s soft. It’s exactly what she needs. Comfort. Solace. Assurance. To tell her that everything it going to be okay. I need to do this. I tell her that I have to do this for my son, that I keep having nightmares where he is crying out to me and I can’t help him.
I have to be able to help him and I can’t from here. If Los Angeles can give me answers that I need then I have to take it. She understands but she is still hesitant. It’s risky. It’s dangerous especially because I am alone but this is something I have to do. She understands and the look in her eyes is one of pure determination. I saw this look in her eyes a couple months ago before we went into Utah, she talked me into bringing her last time with out much convincing but I can’t let her convince me to let her go on this trip.
Especially after the disaster that happened just last month. No. The only one who’s life will be on the line this time is mine. I can’t let her come with me. She jumps into my car and she’s ready to go.
But I tell her that she can’t come with me on this one. This is a different world. With different risks. I am going up an unknown enemy and I can’t put her in danger. I also know that Mr. Parker will have me thrown in jail for kidnapping when it’s all over. She’s sad. I can see it. She puts up this half broken little smile and it breaks my heart. It hurts my chest so much that I crack a joke about Disneyland not being Los Angeles and she gives a sparse laugh, it’s small but it lights her face up for the barest of a moment and it eases my pain the slightest bit at seeing her so upset and lost.
She looks at me again and my stomach falls. Her eyes are red. Tears are falling from her face and it feels like someone’s tearing my heart out with a straw.
“So what I am I supposed to do?” she asks. Her voice breaks and she sniffles a bit. “J-just go to class and pretend like everything’s fine”. She sounds so broken, so numb and I hate it but it’s better that she is here safe then with me and in danger. I tell her the truth.
That she is always with me and that she will be with me every step of the way. I know I’ll miss her. More then my next breath. But what she does shocks me to the core. She grips my head and she looks me straight in eye. She’s terrified. “Tell me you’ll come back”. “Promise me”. I look into her beautiful brown eyes, there so much there. So much fear, so much love, so much beauty and I promise her that I’ll come back.
There’s no other option for me.
------
Liz’s point of view
I’m in sixth period and I am so far beyond bored at this point. Perhaps it’s the fact that my mind is still reeling from the fact that my boyfriend is going on a life threatening journey to find his lost prodigy but to be honest I never was interested in film.
Kyle forced me into this class because he didn’t want to be the only guy in the class that didn’t know what to do with the film equipment and now I regret. A month in and I can’t even bare the sight of this class. I don’t know what your graded on. There’s no real merit to it. I still have no clue how she grades us. How does a fifteen minute clip of a bee’s pollinating a flower get acclaim and considered A plus work when my taped scene of “Waiting for Godet” gets a banal reception and a shoddy C minus. It’s bizarre cruelty is what I tell you. This is the only class that Pam Troy is doing better in me in and it appalls me to no end. The teacher states something about a project and asks me a question. I’m lost and apparently my gaping surprise alerts Kyle to the fact that I wasn’t paying attention and he whispers for me to say yes.
I turn my head and with all the conviction I could muster yell out “YES!” “YES! I AGREE!”. I’m paired up with Kyle for a project and I suddenly feel silly but hey, it could have been worse. Maybe Kyle can take my mind off of the fact that I think that my alien-king boyfriend is on a suicide mission and he should have taken back up.
Me and Kyle look towards each other and he ends up mocking the teacher, I stifle a laugh. I couldn’t be paired up with a better partner for this. We can both look stupid together. I might as well have some fun out of this joke of a class.
----
I call him on his phone. I need to know that he’s okay. That he’s alive and that he is still breathing. Then I’ll be able to deal with everything else right now. At the moment I am beyond freaked out that Mr. Valenti Sr. just gripped my leg and yelled at me several times that “They are among us”. I wasn’t expecting to get that much reaction out of a man that just a second ago was about as still as a statue. It was shocking and a little overwhelming.
I just need to hear his voice then I will be able to calm down. It’s ringing on it’s fourth ring, this is doing nothing to ease my agitation. If anything it’s increasing my worry and it makes me feel like any minute that I am going to scream. Then I hear his voice and I fee like I’ve been wrapped in velvet as his tone soothes me and calms me into a place of tranquility. “Hello”. I ask him how’s L.A. and he gives me these cute one word answers that don’t really tell me anything. I know he’s nervous. He is tracking a needle in a haystack.
I laugh at him and I just bask in the sound of his voice. It kills me that he is so far away and that he is putting himself in danger but I know that he has to do this and even though I disagree, I understand that he has to do this alone. But that doesn’t mean I can’t help him. I’ve been thinking a lot about shape shifters and I always found it a little weird that Nasedo always took on the shape of the middle aged man. Maybe he had to turn into that. Maybe he had no choice and that was the original form that he had to take shape in. I tell Max my thoughts. Maybe this bit of information can help him. I have to get back in with Kyle and I know that Max needs to focus while he’s in L.A. so I let him go. “Max--- be safe okay.” I hear him on the other side. “I Will”
-----
Max’s point of view
I’m beginning to hate this place more and more. I’m no closer to finding what I need to find. I feel completely lost and I have no clue what I am doing, what I am looking for and it’s starting to look more and more hopeless by the second. As if the day couldn’t already get worse I received a citation. Did I mention that I really hate this place. I harshly grab the offending ticket and open it up I can only hope it’s not an unreasonable sum of money because I have very little if any income available to me at the moment. Maybe I should have robbed those stores, maybe then I wouldn’t be flat broke.
Instead of seeing a fine I am met with bolded red letters reading. Go Home Max. I’m close and he knows it. He wouldn’t be threatening me if I wasn’t close to finding him and figuring out where his hiding place is. He went after me so now it’s time for me to go after him. For the first time since I got here I feel like I have a lead, a real clue and a sense of direction but just as soon as I have something to go on and I begin to relax the note disappears into grains of sand and just like that my lead slips right threw my fingers. But I know what I need to know. I’m close. I’m warm and I’ll find him soon. Then I’ll find my son.
-----
I knew that this was going to problems. I can’t leave the state now without someone turning into a nervous wreck. So I kind of knew that Isabel was going to talk my ear off and lecture me for my irresponsible actions. So lays the guilt on thick and quick. She pulls out the big guns first I see throwing out the fact that I am “tearing out my mother’s heart” as she so eloquently states.
I do feel bad that I am putting my parents threw this but it’s the only way I know how to fix all the damage that I’ve caused. I have a responsibility a duty to protect my son and I need to get to him and I can’t deal with everyone side stepping and dissecting my actions and decisions. I need support and right now that support can be from my parents. So I can’t tell them so they’ll have to worry for a little while. I hoped that the lacking support that I need would come from Isabel and Michael but it appears not. They’re pissed that I came to L.A. at all and they’ve made it clear that they do not approve of my “gallivanting” off to L.A. her words.
She knows how important this is to me. So I don’t need the added stress that she’s giving me. But she is right. There is a chance that I could get myself killed by this unknown enemy. He had no qualms frying the skin off Joey Ferrini. I may not fare much better. But that’s why I have to do this on my own. This is my mistake. My problem and I have to fix it. On my own. She asks me if I have a plan. I chuckle.
It’s not really a plan. It’s not even really an idea. It kind of reminds me of what I said to Michael a few weeks about this being the thing that comes and then you make it better, well in the infamous words of Michael “I don’t have anything better”. So this will just have to work, so I tell her my plan. “I’m getting an agent”.
-----
Liz’s point of view
Great. As if I wasn’t already unsure of Max going out to a foreign city to confront a dangerous alien I find out even worse news. It turns out that the alien Max is hunting killed someone forty year ago right here in Roswell. We have a serial killing alien. Once wasn’t enough and now I feel even worse about letting Max go without someone. Without back up. I think he is in way over his head. He’s not really listening to me. I know he is distracted well whatever he is doing now can wait he has to hear this. “Max, your chasing a serial killer!”. He thanks me for helping him. I really don’t see any other way. I’m worried to death over here and I am terrified that he is out there alone and could so easily fall prey to a dangerous creature that is virtually undetectable and he has no defense against. I tell him that it’s no problem and that I need him to come back to me. I can deal with this all the paralyzing fear, the impotent helplessness and the endless worry as long as he comes back.
------
Max’s point of view
“What’s a clapper loader?” I feel like I am missing something pertinent and important but to be honest I don’t really watch too many movies and I am not that in touch with movie lingo or whatever you would call it. My new friend knows the answer and tells me that it’s the guy that says take one and take two.
The phone get’s silent. “Liz” she breathes a heavy sigh and asks me a question “Who are you with” it sounds calm but I know better. I try to keep my foot out of my mouth. “She’s a friend. I‘m taking her back to her place”. Ugh. Damn. I feel like jumping down into a hole. “Her place!”. I don’t miss the shrill tone or the veiled seething over the phone it reverberates threw me like the sound of nails on a chalk board. “I’m just dropping her off. She’s helping me” I rush out. I realize that I’m just digging myself a deeper grave and resign myself to the fact that I’ll have to talk about this when I get home. So I slyly change the subject “Were getting off topic”.
From the way she takes a deep breath I can tell that this conversation isn’t done by a long shot. She tells me about the clapper and her theories about the base form. My new friend informs me on what dailies are and Liz teases me on the fact that my new friend is so helpful. She’s being silly. I’m just helping her out. She doesn’t mean anything to me. I ask her how to get fifty year old dailies.
She tells me that the dailies are in paramount pictures studio and I love her. I couldn’t have done this without her. I would have literally gotten no where without these past few days. I verbalize my I love you because I know she needs to her it and it’s because I’ve been gone for so long that she is acting jealous. She has no reason to and I’m going to show her that she doesn’t when I get back.
-----
I’m in the vault now. Liz is on the phone. She’s warning me. Saying that I’m to close. That it’s too dangerous. He’s been tracking me and she’s afraid for me. I find the dailies. I’m so close now. I could feel it. Liz tells me to hurry up. To get out of there as soon as possible. She’s giving me instructions. Guiding me threw it. It’s like she’s been with me the entire time. Supporting me, helping me, believing in me. That guy. He was at the restaurant. He’s a movie producer. He’s in the studio. In this studio. There’s static I can’t hear her anymore. Liz. Liz. Liz. I hear a voice behind me. “Congratulations Max, you found me.” He throws me across the room and things start to blur. Start to get hazy. I can barely pus my head up my head is pounding so hard, but more then that my arms and legs seem to be made out of lead. I can barely move as the pain seers threw me. I smell smoke. I begin to cough, my body gives out on my and I feel a dimming. It gets darker and darker and all I can think about is the voice I heard just moments ago.
Liz.
Mood Music: The Story by Brandie Carlie from The Story
Max’s point of view
Knock. Knock. Knock.
It’s a Saturday who could possibly be knocking on my door at seven o’clock in the morning.
Granted it isn’t my door but I live here and I know that Michael doesn’t even roll over this early in the morning so this offender at our door could not be someone he knows.
I hope it’s not Isabel again, she’s been on us constantly with this Jessie secret. She even has a couple compelling arguments but I am still against telling anyone else about us. I still feel that involving Jesse would be a huge mistake for him and for us.
We made a pact. The three of us would never tell anyone else about our secret after Alex died. So that way we would never have to deal with the guilt of involving anyone else in our little group. No one else needed to be burdened with this secret and with the pain that knowing all of us causes.
Now she wants to compromise that pact and it’s turning everything upside down and causing even more conflict that we don’t need between the three of us. I know Isabel feels hurt and angry at our dismissal and I also know that she feels coerced into keeping the secret and she feels torn by two different loyalties. I just hope that Michael and I are winning in the waging war inside her but at the same time I am terrified that she is going to resent me all the more for making her keep Jesse at arms length.
This whole situation is making me feel like that irrational dictator I was last Spring and I hate feeling like that. I hate that me and Isabel are always coming to blows over our problems. She wanted to tell our parents and I forced her to put a wall up between her and our mother, she wanted to go to San Francisco and I threatened to destroy her reputation, she wants to tell Jesse and I end up pressuring her to keep quite and lie to her significant other. Even though this may be incredibly difficult for her I feel right with my decision.
This could just be a fling. Something that comes and goes. A fleeting summer infatuation and we can’t risk our existence for that.
The rude banging intrudes on my thoughts and I am compelled to answer the door to stop the irritating thud that shouldn’t even be present at this ungodly hour.
Uh-Oh.
It’s Deputy Brown, I couldn’t have gotten into trouble I haven’t done anything. Michael. Michael stole more Snapple. That has to be it. “Max Evans”. damn. I give an unsure smile. “Is something wrong?” I can’t afford to get in any more trouble with the law.
I won’t have my father to bail me out this time and I don’t think a court appointed lawyer would give a damn about me at this point. A second strike is not good. Especially when I was just held in a Utah cell not a month ago. Mr. Parker is not going to let me within fifty feet of Liz after this. Homicide. This is worse then I thought. If they think I am involved in a murder investigation I’m in even worse trouble.
But I have no clue what he is talking about. I don’t kill people and the only killer I know is light years away from here…with my son. Whose is horror increases night after night and calls out to me when I sleep and leaves me petrified in a cold sweat every morning. The deputy brings me out of my trance and I just know that something’s wrong and I am going to be in serious problem soon.
As soon as the deputy hands me a picture of a older man whose maybe sixty or so years old I feel even more confused about what this has to do with me.
I tell him I have no idea who this man is and that I don’t recognize his face and I certainly don’t know anyone in Los Angeles, California. With the exception to my trip in New York nearly a year ago I haven’t been outside of Roswell. I don’t know who this man is but I am beginning to feel a pull towards the photo, I don’t know why but it’s just a feeling. A feeling I can’t shake. I ask the deputy who this man is.
The name doesn’t ring a bell. Joey Ferrini. It sounds a little funny to me but that’s not what’s important. He knew my license plate number. Why. Was he looking for me. Was he an alien hunter? Maybe I am being mildly paranoid but it’s just too odd that this guy had my license plate number and then ended up dead. Why was he so interested to me to take down my plate number. Something isn’t adding up. Something’s not right.
But maybe I’m looking too much into it. After all I’ve only had the car a couple months. Just before me and Liz took to the road and ended up trying to find that underground warehouse that housed my ship. Maybe this is all a misunderstanding. But I know that my first instinct is correct when I see Michael glance at the picture and shift uncomfortably a the head shot of the older man.
The deputy gives me a spiel about my past transgressions with a law as if I didn’t already know I was on thin ice. I tell him that those charges were dropped he doesn’t seem to care about that. This guy’s out for me. I might have to be more careful around him and around town. We all might. He mocks me.
Tells me that I got off easy because of my father and his practice. The wounds over the fall out with my father still haven’t healed, and him reminding me of the estranged relationship between me and the man I idolized ever since I could remember string like salt in a tender new wound.
As if the fights with Isabel, my fall out with my parents and my restriction to see Liz wasn’t bad enough now I have to deal with a disgruntled deputy and a homicide investigation.
I glance at Michael and take in his disrupted state. He’s trying to hide it but I know him to well. “What is it Michael?” He tells me that he knows the dead guy.
I knew it would have been too much to ask for it to be a coincidence and it clearly was. I must have pissed someone off good in my previous life because all of this bad luck can’t be normal. I chuckle to myself. I’m beginning to believe Kyle’s thoughts about Karma and what not.
I need to clear my head and focus on the crisis me and Michael are in now. Michael was doing too good, I should have seen this happening. What did he drag us into now.
----
I fill Liz in on what Michael told me. I tell her about the now dead man who tried to stop us from getting my old ship, about the mysterious death and how I think it’s all connected to one another. I want to get her opinion on it. She keeps me balanced. She brings me a sense of clarity and a real honest objective look at everything. I really don’t know how to feel. I know this is important but at the same time I’m desperate.
I’m so desperate that I could be making this even bigger then what it really is and I just need to hear her thoughts on it. She echo’s my thoughts. An alien killed him. An alien killed him because he was getting to close. A shape shifting alien. Maybe. I have to find out. I have to find out how to get to my space ship and that means leaving to Los Angeles. This is too dangerous and I can see the light in her eyes. She wants to come with me. I long for the summer days where we went on the road in search for the ship. It was like home just being with her.
The run down motels didn’t bother me. I got a chance to hold her close at night and to wake with her in the morning and it was everything I wanted. Everything I needed. It was perfect. Heaven. And it’s been a complete hell not to have that for the past couple of months.
But I can’t let her come with me. It’s too dangerous. Especially if it’s a shape shifting alien that’s killing and not even being discrete about it. It’s too much like Nasedo and I couldn’t bear it if this new deranged killer were to kidnap her the way Nasedo did. I am not going to risk her life again. I am not going to ruin her life. This is my mess and I have to clean it up. I can’t let her come with me. No matter how bad I want to. And I really. Really. Want to. She’s been away from me for so long and it would be so easy. She’s so willing. But I can’t.
I can see that’s she’s worried about me. I see the tears that threaten to fall from her eyes. I cup her face in my hands and hush her. I bring her close and just hold her the way I have wanted to do over the past week.
“What if he tries to kill you” she mumbles into my shirt. I kiss the top of her head and gentle nudge her chin with my hand. I kiss her. It’s tender, it’s soft. It’s exactly what she needs. Comfort. Solace. Assurance. To tell her that everything it going to be okay. I need to do this. I tell her that I have to do this for my son, that I keep having nightmares where he is crying out to me and I can’t help him.
I have to be able to help him and I can’t from here. If Los Angeles can give me answers that I need then I have to take it. She understands but she is still hesitant. It’s risky. It’s dangerous especially because I am alone but this is something I have to do. She understands and the look in her eyes is one of pure determination. I saw this look in her eyes a couple months ago before we went into Utah, she talked me into bringing her last time with out much convincing but I can’t let her convince me to let her go on this trip.
Especially after the disaster that happened just last month. No. The only one who’s life will be on the line this time is mine. I can’t let her come with me. She jumps into my car and she’s ready to go.
But I tell her that she can’t come with me on this one. This is a different world. With different risks. I am going up an unknown enemy and I can’t put her in danger. I also know that Mr. Parker will have me thrown in jail for kidnapping when it’s all over. She’s sad. I can see it. She puts up this half broken little smile and it breaks my heart. It hurts my chest so much that I crack a joke about Disneyland not being Los Angeles and she gives a sparse laugh, it’s small but it lights her face up for the barest of a moment and it eases my pain the slightest bit at seeing her so upset and lost.
She looks at me again and my stomach falls. Her eyes are red. Tears are falling from her face and it feels like someone’s tearing my heart out with a straw.
“So what I am I supposed to do?” she asks. Her voice breaks and she sniffles a bit. “J-just go to class and pretend like everything’s fine”. She sounds so broken, so numb and I hate it but it’s better that she is here safe then with me and in danger. I tell her the truth.
That she is always with me and that she will be with me every step of the way. I know I’ll miss her. More then my next breath. But what she does shocks me to the core. She grips my head and she looks me straight in eye. She’s terrified. “Tell me you’ll come back”. “Promise me”. I look into her beautiful brown eyes, there so much there. So much fear, so much love, so much beauty and I promise her that I’ll come back.
There’s no other option for me.
------
Liz’s point of view
I’m in sixth period and I am so far beyond bored at this point. Perhaps it’s the fact that my mind is still reeling from the fact that my boyfriend is going on a life threatening journey to find his lost prodigy but to be honest I never was interested in film.
Kyle forced me into this class because he didn’t want to be the only guy in the class that didn’t know what to do with the film equipment and now I regret. A month in and I can’t even bare the sight of this class. I don’t know what your graded on. There’s no real merit to it. I still have no clue how she grades us. How does a fifteen minute clip of a bee’s pollinating a flower get acclaim and considered A plus work when my taped scene of “Waiting for Godet” gets a banal reception and a shoddy C minus. It’s bizarre cruelty is what I tell you. This is the only class that Pam Troy is doing better in me in and it appalls me to no end. The teacher states something about a project and asks me a question. I’m lost and apparently my gaping surprise alerts Kyle to the fact that I wasn’t paying attention and he whispers for me to say yes.
I turn my head and with all the conviction I could muster yell out “YES!” “YES! I AGREE!”. I’m paired up with Kyle for a project and I suddenly feel silly but hey, it could have been worse. Maybe Kyle can take my mind off of the fact that I think that my alien-king boyfriend is on a suicide mission and he should have taken back up.
Me and Kyle look towards each other and he ends up mocking the teacher, I stifle a laugh. I couldn’t be paired up with a better partner for this. We can both look stupid together. I might as well have some fun out of this joke of a class.
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I call him on his phone. I need to know that he’s okay. That he’s alive and that he is still breathing. Then I’ll be able to deal with everything else right now. At the moment I am beyond freaked out that Mr. Valenti Sr. just gripped my leg and yelled at me several times that “They are among us”. I wasn’t expecting to get that much reaction out of a man that just a second ago was about as still as a statue. It was shocking and a little overwhelming.
I just need to hear his voice then I will be able to calm down. It’s ringing on it’s fourth ring, this is doing nothing to ease my agitation. If anything it’s increasing my worry and it makes me feel like any minute that I am going to scream. Then I hear his voice and I fee like I’ve been wrapped in velvet as his tone soothes me and calms me into a place of tranquility. “Hello”. I ask him how’s L.A. and he gives me these cute one word answers that don’t really tell me anything. I know he’s nervous. He is tracking a needle in a haystack.
I laugh at him and I just bask in the sound of his voice. It kills me that he is so far away and that he is putting himself in danger but I know that he has to do this and even though I disagree, I understand that he has to do this alone. But that doesn’t mean I can’t help him. I’ve been thinking a lot about shape shifters and I always found it a little weird that Nasedo always took on the shape of the middle aged man. Maybe he had to turn into that. Maybe he had no choice and that was the original form that he had to take shape in. I tell Max my thoughts. Maybe this bit of information can help him. I have to get back in with Kyle and I know that Max needs to focus while he’s in L.A. so I let him go. “Max--- be safe okay.” I hear him on the other side. “I Will”
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Max’s point of view
I’m beginning to hate this place more and more. I’m no closer to finding what I need to find. I feel completely lost and I have no clue what I am doing, what I am looking for and it’s starting to look more and more hopeless by the second. As if the day couldn’t already get worse I received a citation. Did I mention that I really hate this place. I harshly grab the offending ticket and open it up I can only hope it’s not an unreasonable sum of money because I have very little if any income available to me at the moment. Maybe I should have robbed those stores, maybe then I wouldn’t be flat broke.
Instead of seeing a fine I am met with bolded red letters reading. Go Home Max. I’m close and he knows it. He wouldn’t be threatening me if I wasn’t close to finding him and figuring out where his hiding place is. He went after me so now it’s time for me to go after him. For the first time since I got here I feel like I have a lead, a real clue and a sense of direction but just as soon as I have something to go on and I begin to relax the note disappears into grains of sand and just like that my lead slips right threw my fingers. But I know what I need to know. I’m close. I’m warm and I’ll find him soon. Then I’ll find my son.
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I knew that this was going to problems. I can’t leave the state now without someone turning into a nervous wreck. So I kind of knew that Isabel was going to talk my ear off and lecture me for my irresponsible actions. So lays the guilt on thick and quick. She pulls out the big guns first I see throwing out the fact that I am “tearing out my mother’s heart” as she so eloquently states.
I do feel bad that I am putting my parents threw this but it’s the only way I know how to fix all the damage that I’ve caused. I have a responsibility a duty to protect my son and I need to get to him and I can’t deal with everyone side stepping and dissecting my actions and decisions. I need support and right now that support can be from my parents. So I can’t tell them so they’ll have to worry for a little while. I hoped that the lacking support that I need would come from Isabel and Michael but it appears not. They’re pissed that I came to L.A. at all and they’ve made it clear that they do not approve of my “gallivanting” off to L.A. her words.
She knows how important this is to me. So I don’t need the added stress that she’s giving me. But she is right. There is a chance that I could get myself killed by this unknown enemy. He had no qualms frying the skin off Joey Ferrini. I may not fare much better. But that’s why I have to do this on my own. This is my mistake. My problem and I have to fix it. On my own. She asks me if I have a plan. I chuckle.
It’s not really a plan. It’s not even really an idea. It kind of reminds me of what I said to Michael a few weeks about this being the thing that comes and then you make it better, well in the infamous words of Michael “I don’t have anything better”. So this will just have to work, so I tell her my plan. “I’m getting an agent”.
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Liz’s point of view
Great. As if I wasn’t already unsure of Max going out to a foreign city to confront a dangerous alien I find out even worse news. It turns out that the alien Max is hunting killed someone forty year ago right here in Roswell. We have a serial killing alien. Once wasn’t enough and now I feel even worse about letting Max go without someone. Without back up. I think he is in way over his head. He’s not really listening to me. I know he is distracted well whatever he is doing now can wait he has to hear this. “Max, your chasing a serial killer!”. He thanks me for helping him. I really don’t see any other way. I’m worried to death over here and I am terrified that he is out there alone and could so easily fall prey to a dangerous creature that is virtually undetectable and he has no defense against. I tell him that it’s no problem and that I need him to come back to me. I can deal with this all the paralyzing fear, the impotent helplessness and the endless worry as long as he comes back.
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Max’s point of view
“What’s a clapper loader?” I feel like I am missing something pertinent and important but to be honest I don’t really watch too many movies and I am not that in touch with movie lingo or whatever you would call it. My new friend knows the answer and tells me that it’s the guy that says take one and take two.
The phone get’s silent. “Liz” she breathes a heavy sigh and asks me a question “Who are you with” it sounds calm but I know better. I try to keep my foot out of my mouth. “She’s a friend. I‘m taking her back to her place”. Ugh. Damn. I feel like jumping down into a hole. “Her place!”. I don’t miss the shrill tone or the veiled seething over the phone it reverberates threw me like the sound of nails on a chalk board. “I’m just dropping her off. She’s helping me” I rush out. I realize that I’m just digging myself a deeper grave and resign myself to the fact that I’ll have to talk about this when I get home. So I slyly change the subject “Were getting off topic”.
From the way she takes a deep breath I can tell that this conversation isn’t done by a long shot. She tells me about the clapper and her theories about the base form. My new friend informs me on what dailies are and Liz teases me on the fact that my new friend is so helpful. She’s being silly. I’m just helping her out. She doesn’t mean anything to me. I ask her how to get fifty year old dailies.
She tells me that the dailies are in paramount pictures studio and I love her. I couldn’t have done this without her. I would have literally gotten no where without these past few days. I verbalize my I love you because I know she needs to her it and it’s because I’ve been gone for so long that she is acting jealous. She has no reason to and I’m going to show her that she doesn’t when I get back.
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I’m in the vault now. Liz is on the phone. She’s warning me. Saying that I’m to close. That it’s too dangerous. He’s been tracking me and she’s afraid for me. I find the dailies. I’m so close now. I could feel it. Liz tells me to hurry up. To get out of there as soon as possible. She’s giving me instructions. Guiding me threw it. It’s like she’s been with me the entire time. Supporting me, helping me, believing in me. That guy. He was at the restaurant. He’s a movie producer. He’s in the studio. In this studio. There’s static I can’t hear her anymore. Liz. Liz. Liz. I hear a voice behind me. “Congratulations Max, you found me.” He throws me across the room and things start to blur. Start to get hazy. I can barely pus my head up my head is pounding so hard, but more then that my arms and legs seem to be made out of lead. I can barely move as the pain seers threw me. I smell smoke. I begin to cough, my body gives out on my and I feel a dimming. It gets darker and darker and all I can think about is the voice I heard just moments ago.
Liz.