He Lays in the Reins [AN/?] ML, MATURE *JULY 16*

[azure_horizon]

April 2007

“Tell me what happened,” Doctor Verne prodded quietly after long minutes of silence. Liz looked up and frowned. “Before you came to Paris.”

The frown remained on Liz’s features. She knew ‘before you came to Paris’ was a euphemism but Liz had used that euphemism to label a few things that happened before she came to Paris. It could be to do with Max, or her parents’ death or dropping out from her doctorate course. So many option to choose from.

She figured it had to do with Max since that’s what they had been talking about before Liz had drawn, introspectively, into herself. But she had already used up her ‘let’s talk about Max’ quota for the day and she just couldn’t bring herself to think about it – about him – anymore.

“What about before I came here?”

“Tell me about your parents’ death.”

She sank back into the chair. She didn’t even have a daily quota for that topic because she never, ever wanted to speak about it again. Ever.

“I thought we were talking about Max?”

Verne smiled lightly.

“We’ll get to that.” Liz huffed out a breath and closed her eyes, digging her knuckles into the sockets. “I want you tell me what happened – explain to me how you felt, how you feel.”

Liz took a breath. She hated talking about this; she really did. It made her heart hurt in ways she could never possibly have imagined. The pressure would always build up behind her eyes as the lump rose to take her throat hostage until eventually her body lost the battle over her passions and the emotion leaked out of her in clear, salty droplets of water that streaked across her face.

She could feel it happening already and she hadn’t even started talking about it.

“How did they die?”

Liz swallowed.

“In a car crash, in Boston.” Verne nodded and Liz closed her eyes to block the sight out. “They had come to visit me for Christmas and...” Her words were captured by the lump in her throat and a strange, squeaking sound escaped her throat instead. She hid in her hands.

“Do you feel guilty?” Liz didn’t respond. “Like it was somehow your fault?”

She looked up, shaking her head.

“No.” She closed them again. “Yes. I don’t know.” She swiped at the traitorous tears streaking down her cheeks before she let out a strangled sigh. “I... feel guilty for them being in Boston but I know there was nothing I could have done to change what happened.” She looked down at her hands. “I feel conflicted. I...” She trailed off and looked to the corner, where the walls met each other and the ceiling, staving off another attack of tears. “I was angry... But there was no one to be angry at... It wasn’t anyone’s fault. It wasn’t mine; it wasn’t my dad’s... There was no drunk driver. Nothing. No one... he just hit a patch of ice and...”

“Do you blame God?”

Liz snorted.

“I don’t believe in God.” She met Verne’s eye. “I never have.”

“How did you direct your anger then?”

Liz smiled sardonically and shook her head.

“I didn’t.” She shrugged. “I’m here.”

Verne nodded, pursing her lips.

“And so is Max.” Liz stiffened, even as she nodded. “He’s always there, oui?” Liz nodded again. “When your parents died... what happened?”

Liz took another breath and her gaze skittered away from Verne’s face.

“I called Max.”

“And he came?”

Liz nodded and pursed her lips.

“He always does.” Verne nodded, motioning for her to continue. “He came to Boston... he took care of... everything. He... he organised the transport home then passed everything over to his dad. I... I had to get away from Boston so he took...” her voice failed her again and she reached out for the bottle of water on the table in front of her, noticing how the water vibrated in her shaking hand. She sipped and tried to gather her kangaroo thoughts. “I... went to LA with him.”

“He was filming?”

Liz looked to Verne, sure that the other woman knew all of this from the newspapers and magazines. Liz was grateful she didn’t mention it.

“Yeah,” she responded eventually, rubbing the bottle between her palms. “Yeah.” She took a breath. “We were there until we had to fly to Roswell and he came with me.”

“Where did he stay?”

Liz snorted and looked up at the doctor.

“If I didn’t know any better I’d think you were going to sell this story. Isn’t this exactly what everyone’s been wondering?” Verne simply smiled and Liz settled back against the sofa, her head tilted to the ceiling. “He stayed with me at the Crash.”

“The Crash?”

“Yeah, the restaurant my parents owned.” She thought of the Crash then and wondered, not for the first time, if the name had been changed; if the new owners were taking care of it; if they’d changed any of it. She felt a pang at those thoughts. Liz thought back to that night, the last night they’d been there together... the last night she had seen him before he’d shown up in Paris. Tears threatened again and relented to them. “He... he asked me if I believed that he loved me.”

“And did you?”

“I don’t know!” Liz yelled, thumping her fists down onto the sofa and let out an anguished sob. “He didn’t give me time to answer; he just assumed that I didn’t believe him. I didn’t know if he loved me.”

“Do you think he does now?”

“I don’t know.” She dropped her head into her upturned palms and let out a shaky breath. “I want to believe that he does but...”

“You don’t.” It wasn’t a question and Liz knew it. “The root of the problem, Liz is that you don’t trust him. What did he do to make you not trust him?” Liz shrugged. “Have you ever trusted him?”

“Of course I have.”

Verne was quiet for a moment and Liz didn’t dare to look up.

“When?” Liz didn’t respond. “If you did... you wouldn’t have minded being with him.” Liz made to protest but Verne held up her hand. “You trust him with your body; you don’t trust him with you.” Liz frowned, squeezing back the tears. “Why not?”

“Because he’s Max fucking Evans!”

“And what does that mean?”

Liz let out a frustrated squeal, rubbing her knuckles over her forehead. What did that mean? She’d used that as her excuse for a long, long time. So long, in fact, that she had forgotten what it meant. It was the same thing that Maria had drilled into her when she’d first found out about Liz and Max having sex. He’s Max Evans. But did Liz really know what that meant?

“I don’t even know anymore.”

Verne nodded, conceding and Liz was glad. She didn’t want to think about this.

“After that first night with him, why didn’t you form a relationship with him then?”

Liz shrugged.

“I didn’t think it was something that he wanted.”

“Did he tell you that?” Liz shook her head. “Then how can you know?”

“He didn’t tell me he did, either.”

Verne made a quick note on the pad in front of her and Liz narrowed her eyes. She really hated when she did that.

“And when did you next see him after that?”

“I can’t remember! God, it was such a long time ago – how do you expect me to remember this stuff?” Verne simply raised an eyebrow and Liz felt some of her anger quell. “The next day, at school.” She huffed out and crossed her arms petulantly. “He... he walked past me. He touched my back.” She shivered as she remember the feel of his effervescent fingers tracing over the scabs. “Then he smiled at me and walked away.” Liz looked up then, meeting Verne’s gaze before whispering, “he didn’t even speak to me.”

“You feel he rejected you?”

“Well, yeah. But... at the same time, no. He came to my house that night...” Liz ducked her head to hide the smile that skimmed her lips at the memory. “He just... fell asleep in my bed after letting me cry on him for an hour and a half.”

“It wasn’t always about sex?”

“No.” Liz shook her head. “I mean... we had sex...mostly when things happened. Like, when he hurt his knee again. Or when he was told he’d never be able to be a professional athlete. But... it wasn’t always about that. It’s not always about that.” Liz looked at her fingers. “Even now.”

Verne squinted at her.

“What do you mean?” Liz squirmed in her seat. “He’s living with you?” Liz nodded sheepishly. “And have you...”

“No!” Liz denied, feeling her cheeks flush. “I barely even speak to him. I’m... mad at him.”

“Why didn’t he check into a hotel?” Liz sighed and shrugged. “There’s a part of you that trusts him.” Liz frowned. “Otherwise he would be staying at a hotel. You say you don’t want to attract media attention by being with him, yet you are allowing him to stay in your apartment. He has been seen, going to and from le marché.”

Verne reached back to the cabinet behind her and rifled through the magazines there. She pulled one out and dropped it onto the table in front of her, open at page five where there was a five by six shot of Max walking back from the grocery store. Liz paled at it as she read the article.

When it seemed like the life of Max Evans couldn’t get any stranger (with the foundation of his ‘Have you seen this girl’ website and the subsequent billboard posters and cryptic messages at ComicCon last week) the twenty five year old actor didn’t turn up for his flight back to New York, where he was scheduled to meet with co-star and rumoured lover, Tessa Harding, leaving fans on both sides of the Atlantic anxious of his whereabouts.

“We camped out here for six hours when we found out he was leaving from Heathrow and then he didn’t show up. I hope he’s okay – that he’s not lying in a ditch somewhere.”

Ditch or not, the young Roswellian certainly knows how to draw the headlines. With his agent and publicist keeping conveniently tight-lipped, we’re left to wonder if there is any relation between his website being taken down early this morning and his disappearance.

Has Max Evans finally found his girl?

“It’s starting already,” she murmured as tears once again sprung to her eyes. “I...m not ready for this.”

“Why don’t you want to be seen with him?” Liz looked up, confused. “Why didn’t you let yourselves become a couple – why didn’t you let yourself be in a public relationship with him?”

Liz thought about it and she kept coming back to the thought that... He was Max Evans. She told Verne that.

“You still haven’t explained to me what that means.”

Liz sighed and shook her head.

“I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop.” Verne squinted at her again and Liz was growing to hate that look. “Like... if we went ‘public’... and it didn’t work out... I’d be...”

The room was silent then and a few moments later, the clock beeped letting them know their time was up. Liz sighed in relief. She’d had enough chatter for one day.

“Before you go, Elizabeth,” Verne said as she gathered up pieces of paper. “I think, at the root of this – the reason you don’t trust Max – is that you’ve always felt you weren’t good enough for him.” Liz shrunk back slightly. “It’s why you thought you had to prove yourself to the world, by coming to Paris, by making a name for yourself... All of which are admirable things, don’t get me wrong... But I think you’re using that to hide the fact that you believe you’re not good enough – not smart enough, not beautiful enough – for him.” Liz let the tears fall. “That man loves you, Elizabeth; he set up a trans-Atlantic search for you. You need to love you, as well.”

As Liz left the small office, tissue pressed to her eyes, she couldn’t find it in herself to disagree.

[azure_horizon]

2006- the morning after Liz's parents' funeral and after Max tells her he loves her and wants to marry her.

Part Twenty

Liz sagged back against the pillows behind her as the air left her lungs in a quick rush of breath, her mind blank. She stared at the door that Max had just fled through without really seeing it; her mind concentrating on the stare Max had levelled her with as he’d told her... told her... that. That. Oh, God. She felt tears spring to her eyes and she slapped at her face in a rough effort to swipe them away, the sting of her own palm enough to startle her from her stupor.

But she still couldn’t move. Her heart was pumping adrenaline throughout her system, getting her ready to fight or fly but she was frozen, her limbs numb to the sensation of movement. She looked away from the door as she felt the room close in around her, her breaths coming in pants that really failed to pull in the required amounts of oxygen. She clutched at her chest as her lungs burned and threw the sheet from her body, scrambling away from them until she felt the headboard scrape against her back. Her eyes burned with unshed tears but she couldn’t unclench her hands from her chest long enough to swipe at the fiery traitorous tears that burned their exit.

Blood pounded loudly through her ears but she managed to hear the sound of the shower starting and it propelled her from the bed and over to the window. She managed to shove the window open and she crawled through the small space, ignoring the tearing sensation against her stomach and back as she clawed her way out of the too small space. She tried to stand but her knees caved in and she fell onto all fours, watching the concrete beneath her blot with tears. The air was chill and it burned when she pulled it into her lungs, and she gasped as her over sensitive body reacted to the coldness. She choked on the sobs that stuck in her throat as she tried to hold them in, tried to stay silent in her breakdown.

Max didn’t need to see her.

Max... who loved her. Max who said he wanted to marry her.

“Oh, God...” she managed before her body rebelled against the onslaught of mixed signals and collapsed into a heap on the floor. She felt her cheek mash against the concrete and she knew there would be blood but she didn’t move – didn’t really care. How long had he felt like that? Did he even feel like that? Why would he? He was... he was Max Evans... he was... he couldn’t want to marry her. Why was he doing this to her? Why would he tell her he loved her when it was so obvious he didn’t?

So obvious he didn’t? Really, Liz? her subconscious taunted her and she shifted onto her side, curling around her stomach. It was so obvious that he did. Or at least, that he cared – on some level, at least. Because why else would he keep coming back?

For the sex?

But it wasn’t always about the sex, was it? He was there... in Boston, when she just needed to cry and be held and be reminded that she at least, was alive. He’d walked out of filming to come to her. He’d taken a week off so he could come to Roswell with her.

All for the sex?

She didn’t think so.

“Jesus, Liz!” Her heart rate – that had only just slowed – spiked again when she saw Max crawl towards her, his face panicked. “What are you doing out here?” She looked up to the inky sky, noting the halo around the moon and she felt her body’s shivers. She felt his hands on her skin, still warm from the shower, and she remembered that she was naked. “Liz...”

She turned to him then, met his eyes and the tears leaked out again.

“I’m so sorry, Max...” she murmured as she let him cradle her to his chest. He shifted and she felt something warm and damp wrap around her and she realised it was the towel he’d been using to dry his hair off with. She nuzzled into his chest, smelling the freshness from him and sobbed. “I... you...”

“Shh...” he murmured as he rocked them gently, his arms gentle as he held her. “I shouldn’t have laid that on you like that. I didn’t mean to.”

Liz fought back a sob and clutched her hand to his chest. She didn’t want him to leave. Ever.

“Did you mean it?” She felt him nod as he murmured his acquiesce into her hair. He didn’t repeat the sentiment and Liz was glad. Sort of. “Why?” She questioned and she felt Max daw back from her slightly.

“Why, what?” he questioned, his brows furrowed slightly.

“Why do you...” She couldn’t finish the question but he seemed to understand because he just smiled down to her and pulled her back against him.

“How could I not?”

She didn’t have a response to that so she just tucked herself closer to him. The warmth of his body was receding and she was shivering again but she didn’t want to move, didn’t want him to have to leave.

“How long?”

He shrugged.

“A long time.” She felt him hesitate and she drew her index finger over his heart, watching as his chest muscles twitched under her hand. “A very long time.”

“Oh,” she replied. She didn’t have anything to say to that. Everything that she had thought she’d known about Max Evans was just... totally blown out of the water. He’d... she... “I wish you didn’t need to leave,” she murmured and laughed lightly when she heard him curse under his breath.

“Me neither.” He took a breath and drew back from her again. “We have a lot to talk about, Liz. I can’t wait until filming is finished. Will you come back with me?” She moved to protest but he pressed his fingers to her lips. “You don’t have to come now... But... soon?”

Could she do it? Could she...

Max wanted her in LA with him.

So she nodded and was rewarded with an enigmatic smile that melted her heart, despite the temperatures around her on the balcony.

“Okay...” she agreed out loud and Max leaned down, brushing his lips against hers for a brief few moments before he pulled back.

“I really have to go.” They both nodded but neither moved for a long time. Eventually, he shifted again, jostling Liz from her slumberous state and she stood up. “Hey, Liz?” She looked down to him as she pulled the too small towel around her shoulders. His fingers reached up and hovered over where she’d grazed it. “What were you doing out here?”

Escaping, she thought as she verbally responded with “Nothing.”

She knew he didn’t believe her but he let it go, anyway.

“I’ll see you soon?” He asked fifteen minutes later, at the back door of the Crash. Liz nodded and smiled tightly, relaxing when he leaned down to kiss her. “I love you, Liz...” he whispered against her lips. She didn’t respond, despite the tug that told her she should. He hesitated a moment before pulling away, smiling down to her. He ran his hand over her hair, across her cheekbone before coming to rest on her neck, his thumb stroking across her jaw. “If I don’t go now, I won’t have the strength to leave...”

Making the decision for him, Liz stepped away from him and slowly closed the door. It took a few minutes before she heard the rental car engine fire up then another minute or two before he pulled away.

Max told her he loved her.

And she thought maybe, finally, she was ready to believe it.

Three days later, TMZ and E! released photos of Max Evans and Tessa Harding going at it outside of a downtown LA club.

[azure_horizon]

How can you pretend to know
Who you are or where you’ll go
When you just ‘get by’?
-Joseph Arthur, Could We Survive?

Part 21 - Cafe, Paris the day of Max's arrival

Despite it all, Liz knew that he was right. She just hated to admit it. Partly because of her ingrained stubbornness and partly because she was absolutely horrendously terrified that if she did admit that he was right... that he would leave. That he would finally have had enough of her and called it quits. So instead of actually giving any kind of response to what he’d said, she blurted out the first words that flickered across her mind:

“You’re staying in my apartment, right?”

He stared at her. And not in a way that she was used to. The stare was chilling, his eyes cold and empty as he gazed at her across the laminated table between them. It... terrified her. She could feel it already; the walls crushing down around her because she had just laid herself out on the line for him again and he was rejecting her again. Despite the fact that first rejection hadn’t, technically happened. Her breath came in short gasps and she fought the urge to pick up her scarf, shrug back into her jacket and leave him sitting at a table in Paris, alone.

But then he turned his eyes down to the table and let out a shaky breath and she knew she couldn’t do that.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea, Liz.”

The walls crumbled around her and she made a disgustingly squeaky noise in the back of her throat and tried to cover it (unconvincingly) with a cough. He looked up to her again, through his lashes and she had to stave off a wave of nausea as she watched the shutters flicker slightly and emotions leaked into his eyes.

“Oh...” she managed before she had to look away, knowing that it was too late anyway. That he’d not doubt seen the tears.

He sighed heavily and she peaked at him; his jaw was set and she could almost feel the waves of anger swarm over her. She tried to breathe again but she was drowning in his cold, cruel silence. She couldn’t imagine putting up with this kind of nothingness for almost a year. And yet, she’d done that to him. And here he was. Finally doing the one thing she feared the most.

Realising she just wasn’t worth it.

“See, this is what I’m talking,” he murmured quietly and Liz looked up to him with a frown, swiping surreptitiously at her eyelids. “Don’t look at me like that,” he snapped and Liz recoiled slightly at his tone. His scowl softened and his hand twitched; she wondered if he ached to touch her like she did him. “Why did you ask me if I would stay at your apartment?” He asked and Liz felt her breath stutter in her throat again.

Technically, that’s not what she had asked but... she didn’t think he’d be very receptive to her grammatical Nazism at that moment so she didn’t respond with that. Instead, he floundered as she battled the reflex to lie. He didn’t deserve more lies and silence from her. She just wasn’t sure that she could give him anything else.

“I...” she trailed off and he tilted his head as she floundered, a sad knowing gleam making it’s way across his gaze. She hated that. She fiddled with the edge of her scarf and she watched Max follow the motion with his eyes, a sad smile tilting his lips. He sat back, his shoulders slumped. “I’m... terrified.” She couldn’t look at him, could barely force the words out past her lips. “I’m terrified that... that you’ll leave if I don’t offer you... something.”

He stared at her for a long moment and Liz eventually met his gaze. He sucked his lips between his teeth before shaking his head and releasing a long, tortured sigh.

“That’s... not good enough, Liz.” He met her eye again. “I’m not staying with you just because you’re scared.” She didn’t know what to say. “Just give me the name of a decent hotel near here and I’ll check in for a few days. Give you some space to think; I really should have known better than to come here like this, anyway.”

The sadness in his voice erupted a pain so harsh and hot and piercing in her chest that she was surprised she didn’t whimper out loud.

“No...” she managed on a strangled sob.

He shook his head.

“This is the hotel capital of the world, I’ll find something myself then.” He gathered his outerwear, totally oblivious to Liz’s meaning. She reached out and yanked the jacket from his grip and he turned his eyes on her in a glare. “What are you doing, Liz?” His voice was devoid of emotion while Liz’s was teeming with it.

“You can’t leave me...”

Max squeezed his eye shut and leaned against the table for a second before he sat back down. He met her gaze.

“You left me a year ago... With nothing.” He shook his head. “Do you have any idea how that feels?” Liz gulped but shook her head because despite what she had been going through, she couldn’t begin to imagine what she’d done to Max. She didn’t want to. “I thought we’d... come to some kind of... understanding, Liz and then... you just... you didn’t even let me explain. I knew how you would react but I was stupid enough to think that maybe we’d gotten past that. I called you every day for three months, Liz.” Liz couldn’t stop the tears. “Three. Months.” His voice cracked then and Liz looked up at him, not surprised to see tears swimming in his eyes, too. “Michael and Rod had to scrape me off the floor most mornings because I wouldn’t sleep in my bed because it smelled like you. Michael tried to clean the sheets and I punched him. Rod tried to delete your number from my cell but the idiot thought I didn’t know it by heart.” Liz blanched. She hadn’t known his number by heart. Hadn’t dared to even try to remember it. Which was ridiculous. “And when Maria told me you’d left the fucking country...!” He shuddered and Liz whimpered. She didn’t fight the urge to reach out to him – they’d always been physical, it was almost a requirement between them. She felt him stiffen then his fingers knotted together around hers as a sigh left his throat. “That feels so good...” he whispered as he watched their fingers. Liz followed his gaze.

“Max...” Liz whimpered and it took him a moment and a gentle hand-squeeze before he looked up to her. “I... want to apologise but... I don’t think it’s enough. And I don’t think... it’s... I came here... to get away from everything. To do... to be... And as soon as you found out where I was... here you are and... you would have come, whether I wanted you to or not.”

He flinched and tried to pull his hand back but Liz gripped on tighter.

“You wanted to get away from me?” She nodded and he stiffened again before his shoulders relaxed slightly. “I know that. I knew that then...” He shook his head. “But Christ, Liz...”

She didn’t know what else to say; well, she knew what she needed to say – what Verne would tell her to say but she couldn’t. She felt physically sick at the thought... She tugged his hand closer to her and traced the gaps between their fingers with her free hand. He sighed and sagged forward slightly.

“Stay with me?”

She met his eyes for a long moment – minutes, probably – before he nodded, almost evanescently.

“Okay...” They gathered their belongings and Liz watched in disdain as Max dropped a fifty euro bill onto the table but shrugged it off. That was just... Max. “Where do you stay?”

She looked out of the window at the lightly falling rain, smiling slightly as Max watched it in disdain.

“It’s not far... ten minutes max.”

He turned to her and nodded, pausing for a moment to stare at her and she thought that he was maybe trying to memorise her features again. She smiled timidly and her hand reached out of its own accord and brushed against the sleeve of his jacket. He turned from her and shifted his hand, gently wrapping his fingers around hers as they stepped out into the Parisian side street.

Max was here, in Paris. For her.

She really had to try not to freak out.

[azure_horizon]

Right... I decided to suck it up and do a timeline again. To keep you all updated, I'm going to post it here. I need to go back and refine the first few chapters to make sure they fit in with this timeline (you know, winter and all that) but here it is... I'm sure most of it is right!

April 2001 (L17, M17) – High School, their first time
Max’s decision to try acting
August 2001 (L18, M17) - Liz goes to Harvard, Max goes to LA

August 2002 (L19, M18) – Liz in Boston (2nd year college), Max LA
September 2002 (L19, M18) – Liz Boston, Max LA


May 2003 (L19, M19) – Max linked to rising starlet
August 2003 (L20, M19) – Diana Lane interview (Liz 3rd (degree) year)
November 2003 (L20, M20) – Max hurts his knee in a stunt. ‘disappears’ from LA to recover


March 2004 (L20, M20) – Boston (Liz still 3rd year) – Liz’s friends find out she knows Max
May 2004 (L20, M20) – Max asks Liz if she’d transfer out to LA (Berkley) to finish her degree
August 2004 (L21, M20) – Max buys apartment in Boston

January 2005 (L21, M21) - fight about the distance – Max mad she wouldn’t come to LA
-stories about Max and co-stars escalate


August 2005 (L22, M21) – Liz starts her Masters in Boston

October 2005 (L22, M21) – Liz starts to ‘date’ Greg

March 2006 (L22, M22) – Liz’s parents die
Max proposes
Early April 2006 (L22, M22) – Pictures of Tess and Max released
End of April 2006 (L22, M22) – Liz doesn’t hand in her dissertation

June 2006 (L23, M22) – Goes from Roswell back to Boston, applies for Paris trip (joints Masters/PhD)

August 2006 (L23, M22) – Liz goes to Paris (studying for Masters/PhD, gets job as tutor in university)

October 2006 (L23, M22) – Max sets up HYSTG.com

Nov 2006 (L23, M23) – Pictures of Max and Tess revealed to be scenes from the movie
Liz contacts Max via email after finding out about HYSTG.com
Max finds out Liz is in France – doesn’t know where

January 2007 (L23, M23) – First HYSTG.com billboards go up in France and America

March 2007 (L23, M23) – Liz agrees to see a therapist
Posts on HYSTG.com
Maria tells Max where Liz is, Max goes to Paris, moves in with her

April 2007 (L23, M23) – Liz has her personal epiphany




February 2009 (L25, M25) – unknown location – all seems to be okay

[azure_horizon]

Part Twenty Two

October 2006 - Maria hears Max's side of the story

Maria couldn’t quite believe that she was on her way to the infamous Max Evans’ LA apartment. There was a small part of her that partially danced in glee at the prospect because, hello, he was Max Evans But there was also a much, much larger part of her that wanted to get here, grab his biggest butcher knife and chop certain parts of his anatomy off because really, what he did to Liz was inexcusable.

To say she was surprised that she was even entertaining this trip was a gross understatement. When Michael had asked her to go visit Max with him, Maria had snorted out a laugh and walked away assuming he had been taking the piss. But then Michael had kind of laid into her about how she was judging Max unfairly. And that maybe she should listen to Max’s point of view before making up her mind (she hadn’t told him her mind had already been made up for quite a few years). It wasn’t until he pointed out to her that she hadn’t heard from Liz in quite a few weeks – that her best friend had no knowledge of her pending wedding, that Maria knew nothing about the life Liz was leading in Paris that Maria finally acknowledged that okay, maybe there was a side to Liz that she didn’t know about.

And then she’d remembered the Liz from high school who had lied to her about sleeping with Max for months and months. She had told this to Michael and he’d looked at her with this half amused, half astonished expression on his face before asking her what she knew about Max and Liz’s relationship.

“They slept together in high school, like...” She couldn’t finish because Michael’s laughter had drowned her out. And she hated that he was laughing at her.

“Maria, they’ve been fucking each other since high school. She’s been fucking Max about for years.”

So there she was, in a huge SUV with dark tinted windows on the way to downtown LA and Max’s apartment to hear what the hell had been going on under nose for the past few years. And it was ridiculous because how could Liz have hidden something like this from her for all of these years? Did she really know her best friend at all?

--

Maria was dazed. In fact, dazed didn’t quite cover it. She was pretty sure heart broken was closer to the welling ache that swamped her chest as she sat on Max’s private balcony and watched the agony play out across his face as he described just how much her best friend had hurt him. At first, Maria had been inclined to scoff at him and call him out as a liar but as his story unfolded Maria couldn’t even ascribe the pain in his words to his acting abilities. The man was... dying.

“I told him to forget her,” Michael chimed in when the moment was too heavy and Maria tore her gaze from Max to Michael, whose anger she could see was simmering just beneath the cool facade. “But he’s a stubborn fucker.”

“I love her, Michael. I can’t help it.”

Maria sat back as she watched the bickering duo and she thought back to all the signs that she had missed. What was Liz thinking? Had she ever thought with her head? Oh God, and Greg and that other douche she’d been with...

“Yeah,” Max said with a sharp nod of his head when she asked. “I... may have beat up a few walls when I found out about them.”

Michael snorted.

“That’s an understatement,” Michael grunted and Max glared at him. “Remember when he called me like... at four in the morning and you went crazy on my ass because I flew out here?” Maria nodded. “Yeah, I got here and had to scrape his skin off the walls and take him to some hospital like three hours away to get stitches and make sure he hadn’t broken his hand.”

“Why...” Maria started but her voice was clogged again at the image of Max, broken, at the hands of her best friend. “Why did you put up with it?”

Max shrugged and didn’t say anything for a long time.

“Because... it was still me she called when she needed something.”

“She was using you!” Maria exclaimed then clamped her hand over her mouth, her eyes flying to Max’s face but she didn’t see any of the anger she expected to see there.

“Maybe she was,” he said with a shrug and Michael growled quietly from beside him. “But she has to feel something for me, right? For her to keep coming back?”

“Yeah,” Michael spat. “Convenience.”

“Michael...” he replied wearily and Maria reached out to him, gripping his wrist in her hand. Max looked up to her, surprised etched into his features and then back down to where she held him. He shifted his hand and Maria loosened her grip, more than surprised when he entwined their fingers. “Don’t.”

Michael chortled mirthlessly and Maria was almost appalled by her boyfriend’s apparent hatred for her best friend; he had never shown any sign that he so much as disliked Liz before and now... this? It was... disconcerting. She felt out of her depth; all of her assumptions about people being turned upside down. Did she know anything? Anyone?

“And he hasn’t even told you the best bit yet, Maria. Wait until you hear about the best part.”

Max groaned and Maria turned her gaze back to him but he didn’t look at her. He just stared at their joined hands and played with her fingers.

“I...” he licked his lips. “I kind of... asked her to marry me.” Maria gasped and pulled her hand from his in shock. “But not really, I mean...” he closed his eyes and groaned. “But yeah.”

“What did she say?”

Max snorted and shook his head, the first signs of anger or bitterness seeping into his tone.

“Nothing. She... nothing.” Maria didn’t know what to say. “She never even told me she loved me.” He let out a deep breath then and sat back in his chair, knees spread wide as he looked up to the violet sky. “I thought I had convinced her to, you know, actually... be with me, for real and then those stupid fucking pictures-“

“Yeah, about those,” Maria interceded mildly. “What the hell?”

Max rolled his eyes and fell forward slightly, dropping his elbows to his knees.

“They’re from the film we shot together.” Maria snorted. “Really. A photographer snuck onto the location and took some pictures. Nothing... They weren’t what they seemed to be.”

“Why didn’t you tell her?”

“I would have if she would have answered her cell. Or her email. Or if you would have let me speak to her. Now she’s God knows where and I have no idea how to get in touch with her.”

“So... The pictures were...” Max nodded. “So you and Tessa Harding never..?”

Max shook his head.

“There has never been anyone else. There never will be.”

Maria sat back in her chair and exhaled, watching as Max fiddled with his fingers, his index finger tracing over his thick, leather cuff.

“Did you have a ring and everything?” Max chuckled and nodded. “Can I see it?”

“Later,” Max promised with a flick of his wrist and Maria caught a glimpse of a dark mark peaking out from underneath the leather cuff. He saw her looking and pulled his hand back to his body.

“What is that?”

He looked down to his hand.

“It’s a tattoo.” He met her eyes for a moment then looked away. She was about to ask when she saw Michael shake his head and she nodded in acquiesce. She would let it lie, for now. “Do you know where she is, Maria?”

Maria did know, of course.

“Where is she?” Michael asked and Maria glanced to him again. She had purposely not told Michael where she was because she knew he would tell Max.

“I... I’m sorry Max, but I can’t tell you. I promised her I wouldn’t.”

Michael laughed acidly and Maria flinched from the sound.

“After everything you’ve just heard, you still want to protect her?” Maria flinched but nodded anyway. “Then try protecting her from herself. She’s destructive, Maria. I’m glad she’s gone.”

“Michael!” She protested but she found she couldn’t say anymore. Looking at Max in front of her now, broken and tiny – his skin marred by a tattoo he kept hidden – she knew he was speaking the truth. “I can talk to her... but I can’t promise anything.”

“Please, Maria...” Max pleaded, gazing up at her through his lashes and she almost caved. “Just tell me where is...” She swithered. She really did. “If you don’t... I’ll set up a search party. I’ll... put it on the internet. On the TV. I have to find her, Maria.”

If Maria thought he was bluffing, he was sorely mistaken. Five days later, haveyouseenthisgirl.com had been set up and Max’s heartfelt pleas to the masses graced every major magazine in the US and was the storyline of most wed front pages. A few weeks later, his studio released the photos of him and Tessa Harding as promotional pictures for the movie and Tessa’s agent had released a statement denouncing the rumours circulating about Tess and Max.

Max showed her the ring.

“Is it too much?” He asked after she’d gasped and then cried a little. She shook her head.

“No... it’s perfect.”

He was determined. He would find his girl, with or without her help. Maria knew she had to try, anyway.

[azure_horizon]

August 2004
Max 20, Liz 21

Max shuffled nervously from foot to foot as he stood a foot behind Liz. It was a grand gesture; one that he hoped wouldn’t terrify her. She spun in a slow circle as she took in the high corniced ceilings, the floor to ceiling windows and the view of the night sky beyond. He licked his lips when she finally stopped spinning and began moving in small steps around the main lounge, over to the open plan kitchen then back to the lounge again.

He watched her, not moving to join her.

She stared; still, he shuffled about.

“It’s... wow.”

The apartment was really his first big splurge (discounting the Aston Martin, of course, specially imported from good old Great Britain) and considering he wanted her to live in it, he was glad she seemed... wowed.

Wowed was good, right?

“Isn’t it?” He said quietly, smiling when she turned her wide eyes to stare at him in wonder. He dabbed his tongue against his lower lip and Liz followed the motion with his gaze and he couldn’t help but smirk at her as she did. She snapped her eyes up to meet his and he grinned at her. “You like it then?”

She nodded.

“I didn’t know you were going to go into real estate.” She nodded and moved to the build in fireplace and leaned against the wall, looking out over the view. Max frowned at her words and finally took a step towards her. She tilted her head slightly to look at him and smiled wanly. “Though I guess you have to invest your money somehow, right?”

He shrugged and nodded, coming to a stop behind her. He could feel her body heat wafting across to him and he wanted to melt into her but he was far too conscious of the fact that the agent was standing out in the main hallway, waiting for Max and Liz to leave so he could lock up the apartment.

“You’re the only investment worth making,” he said casually, shrugging as he wrapped an arm around her waist, dropping a feathery kiss to her exposed neck. He was weak, he knew it but when her slender neck was bared to him as it was when she wore her hair tied back, he would gladly surrender anything to her.

“Mmm...” she murmured, tilting her neck slightly as she dropped her hands to his forearms around her waist, digging her nails into his skin lightly. He shivered, feeling his body reacting to the sensation and he smirked against her skin when she shifted her hips against him. “Are you going to rent it out?”

“Rent what out?” he asked against her skin, darting his tongue out to trace against her pulse point. She shuddered in his arms and moved her feet wider apart – a move he was almost positive was subconscious – and he tightened his hold on her, urging her further back against him.

“The apartment.”

“Why would I rent it out?”

She panted out a breath as he took a sliver of skin between his teeth and nipped.

“You live in LA...” she managed on an out breath and Max shrugged against her again.

“And you live here.” She was out of his arms within moments and he pulled his head up, startled. He studied her astonished expression, curious about the anger he saw lurking beneath the surface. “What?”

She darted her eyes around the lounge again before settling her gaze back on him.

“I have a flat, on campus.”

Max snorted lightly.

“Yeah, which you share with like four other people,” he retorted, frowning at her.

“So you’d rather I live here, alone?”

His frown deepened; to be honest, he hadn’t really thought about it that way. He just thought that... it was the kind of gesture she needed from him, to prove to her that he was hers one hundred per cent. After all the rumours from the year before, he thought this would be the reassurance she would need.

Evidently not.

“I didn’t think about it that way. I just thought it would be nice for us to have our own place.” He shrugged again, taking a step towards her but she stepped back, around to the other side of the sofa. He frowned again. “I hate having to be quiet with you when I’m here.”

She didn’t smile at his innuendo and he sighed, dropping his head slightly.

“Exactly, when you’re here. What about when you’re not? You expect me to stay here in the apartment that you bought while you... go back to work.”

He knew what she didn’t say and he sighed in frustration, lifting his hand to run through his hair. Clearly she wasn’t as over last year as he thought. He fisted his hair in his hand and let out a ragged breath.

“Liz-“

“I won’t be your kept woman, Max!”

He guffawed, his jaw hanging open for a few long moments as he stared at her in complete and utter shock.

What the hell?

She thought... No. No way.

And he did the worst thing he could possibly do in that situation. He laughed. He laughed hard. He was bent over at the waist, his hands of his knees as he laughed and laughed and laughed. He tried to rein it in but he couldn’t stop it and he wasn’t entirely sure he wanted to, to be honest. Because it was either laugh or cry in frustration. Maybe break a few things in his shiny new apartment.

“Are you finished?” She asked after a good few minutes of his inappropriate laughter and when he looked up he could see the pain and anger warring on her features, her eyes glassy with unshed tears. The laughter fled and he stepped towards her again, reaching over the back of the sofa to her but she turned away from him.

“I’m sorry,” he said sincerely but she wouldn’t turn to him. “It’s just... you’re being absurd, Liz.” She railed on him then, pinning him with a glare but he shrugged it off and held his hands out placatingly. “I have never – could never – think of you as a kept woman Liz. And it absolutely gauls me that you would think that of me. Of yourself.”

“What do you expect me to think?” She demanded. “You buy this flashy apartment and expect me to be here for you when you’re here and keep the bed warm while you’re gone waiting for you to come back.”

He shook his head and looked to her pleadingly.

“I bought it for us. I could have bought us one in LA but since I always come here rather than you coming to LA, I thought it would be the wiser option for me to buy one here.”

“You’re giving me the guilt trip now?”

He dropped his head back and stared up at the ceiling, clenching his fists. Why did she have to twist everything he said.

“No, and you know I’m not so stop this right now. I’ve bought it now, it’s up to you whether you live here or not. But this is where I will be when I’m here.” He shrugged and pushed off the sofa. “You’re getting a key. It’s up to you if you use it.”

She huffed.

“Don’t you think you should have asked me about it?”

He stared at her, appalled.

“It was a surprise. It was supposed to be a good thing.” There was a knock at the front door and Max sighed. “We have to go, it’s late.”

“I thought you’d already bought it?”

He nodded.

“I have; just a few things to sort out first.”

She nodded.

“So we have plenty of time to talk about this, then.”

It wasn’t a question but he nodded in the affirmative anyway, sighing quietly as she brushed passed him and tucked her hands into her pocket. He smiled to the agent and ushered Liz to the elevator and down to his rental car (he pouted at the sight of the non-descript sedan, instantly missing Vera). The silence was thick.

As they trailed their way silently down to Liz’s campus flat, Max smirked twistedly out of the window.

He was pretty sure talking about it actually involved... talking.

He glanced over to Liz, who was staring blankly out of the window and sighed again.

Maybe he should reconsider buying her a brother version of Vera, after all.

[azure_horizon]

August 2004 - A couple of days after the incident in the new apartment


“I think we should talk about your ‘kept woman’ comment from the other night,” Max said to her as they shared a bowl of popcorn. He could feel her turn towards him but he stared at the screen straight ahead, watching the images flicker without really seeing what was going on.

She huffed and dipped back into the bowl and Max smiled tightly when she leaned her head back onto his shoulder.

“Yeah... maybe after this episode?” She said quietly and Max sighed, shifting away from her. She followed his motion for a moment before she sighed and sat up, reaching over to pause the DVD. “Why do we have to talk about this now?”

Max quirked his eyebrow.

“We should have talked about it the other night but you managed to successfully avoid it – and have continued avoiding it since then.” She huffed again and he smiled slightly at her exasperation. If it wasn’t so frustrating it would be kind of endearing. “Do you really think I see you that way?”

She shrugged and wouldn’t answer him.

“I don’t know what to think, sometimes,” she admitted quietly after a long moment of silence where she picked at her fingernails. Max shifted, reclining further into the arm of the sofa, draping his arm along the back so his fingertips danced across her hair. “I mean... you’re you and I’m...” she made a gesture with her hand that Max didn’t even dare to interpret.

“Liz... I... Have never thought of you that way.” He shifted slightly, his knee brushing against the outside of her thigh and he watched where their bodies made contact, terrified to meet her eyes. “I could never think of you that way and I hate that I’m the reason we’re...” he gestured between the two of them, knowing she would get what he meant. “I just wanted to give you something... give us something more tangible than a few nights trying to be quiet in your apartment.”

Liz sighed gently and nodded, finally brave enough to meet his gaze. The softness there surprised him.

“I get that now but... at the time... yeah.” Max smiled; he was glad she got it, even if it was a little belated. “That’s why I didn’t want to talk about it on Wednesday morning.” Max frowned and Liz rolled her eyes playfully. “It was stupid of me to react that way; I was embarrassed.”

Max grinned then, shifting forward so he could wrap his arms around her. She leant into him willingly, resting her head over his heart and Max took great comfort from that small gesture. He sighed into her hair and pressed his lips against her temple.

“You have nothing to be embarrassed about with me, Liz,” he murmured quietly, stroking his fingers up and down the back of her arms, grinning when he felt the goose pimples erupt on her sensitive skin. “You forget how well I know you,” he whispered into her hair again, his lips ghosting against her skin and she shuddered again, her back arching slightly thus pressing her breasts into the arm he had wrapped around her.

“I know but... You obviously... I mean, you live in LA, Max. That’s where the beautiful people are created.”

He laughed at that, boisterously as he thought about all of the cosmetic surgeries that went on out there. He may be starting to break through into the movie scene but he couldn’t imagine ever being so vein as the resort to putting man made plastics into his body. There were some lines that were not meant to be crossed. And some that were meant to be crossed out, he thought derisively as he snorted.

“Oh, Liz... You should come out with me one day and see what it’s really like. I’ve worked with some beasts of men both on and off camera. Some of the women are even scarier. This one woman, she was the makeup artist and I honestly... when I saw her make up I just about offered to do my own. But she was amazing. You would actually like a lot of the people out there, you know? Even some of the plastic ones,” he added with a smirk and Liz rolled her eyes at him, smacking him on the bicep but he hardly flinched. She was too gentle with him.

“I’m sure I would...” she chuckled slightly. “I, of course, fit in best with those off the screen.”

Max gripped her tighter to him and kissed the top of her head again.

“Only because you’re too smart to get in front of the camera; and besides, they would never be able to do your perfection any justice.”

Liz snorted but tucked closer to him.

“They manage all right with you.”

He smirked and shrugged around her body.

“I’m just that good, though. Nothing can make me look bad.” She giggled and he was glad, his mission for the moment accomplished. He had rid her of the cloud that had followed her around for the past couple of weeks (he’d been able to sense it every time he had spoken to her over the past couple of weeks but she insisted that she was fine) and that was enough for him for now. The silence reigned for almost half an hour but it was easy and comfortable and he relished in the feeling of just having her in his arms. But he had to break it, probably to bring back the cloud that had hung over them since his surprise the other day. “So about this apartment...”

Liz sighed quietly but he heard it and he braced himself for what was to come.

“The lease on my own apartment isn’t up until the end of the second semester... I can’t lose the money on it.” Max made to butt in here but she held her hand up and staved off his argument. “And I can’t do that to Serena and Red. They’ll never find someone to share with them this late into the year so... If you still want to give me a key, I’ll stay here when you’re here and I’ll come over when you’re gone if I need space... how does that sound?”

He let out a breath as he felt his body relax. He hadn’t expected her easy acquiesce and he realised how guilty she must have felt for her reaction at the apartment. But he didn’t care; they now had a place to call theirs and that was... exactly what he needed.

“I already have it waiting on this cheesy ass key ring I found in the key cutting store. You’ll love it.”

“You saying I love the cheesy things in life, Max?”

He grinned when she turned to him, dipping his head to nip at her neck.

“You love me.”

She hummed in agreement and he felt his heart flutter at that but he buried that feeling deep down.

“Hmmm and you are quite cheesy, right?” He pulled back and narrowed his eyes playfully at her. “I mean, who gets bands to play meaningful songs to a girl on the opposite side of the country, huh?” Max shrugged, feeling his cheeks heat slightly and he dipped his head down so his chin rested on her shoulder. “Only the cheesiest of men, Max. So that must mean you get extra love from me.”

He grinned and rolled his eyes before he stood up from the sofa and tossed her over his shoulder. She squealed and punched at his back playfully. By the time he got her to the bedroom with the floor to ceiling windows, she was giggling and squeezing his butt as he spanked hers lightly.

“Elizabeth Parker,” he growled as he crawled up her naked body some time later, his lips barely leaving her skin. “You’re going to be the death of me...”

[azure_horizon]

Part 25a

October 2005, Roswell

“What do you mean she’s dating someone?” Maria was taken aback by Michael’s angry tone and she flinched away from him slightly. If she didn’t know any better, she would assume the worst considering his reaction to the news. “I’m sorry,” he murmured as he dragged his hand down his face, looking up to the ceiling as he let out a weary sigh. “Who is it?”

Maria shrugged slightly and turned away from Michael to continue chopping the onions.

“Some guy on her course, I don’t know. She wasn’t very forthcoming.”

Michael snorted and Maria railed on him, glaring at him when he shook his head.

“I wonder why that is,” he questioned wryly but Maria didn’t understand the tone so she let it drop.

“You should be happy for her.”

Michael simply snorted and turned away.

“I’m going to call Max.”

Maria watched him retreat and shook her head. Of course he had to go and call Max. Maria didn’t understand Michael’s reaction; not at all. While Michael and Liz had never been particularly close, Michael had never been anywhere near hostile to her friend. The sudden shift in his behaviour once she told him Liz was dating would have at one point raised her hackles but she let it roll off her back. Almost. It still irked her. What right did he have to make judgements on Liz? Liz had never done anything to deserve his scorn.

“I can’t get a hold of Max,” Michael announced a few minutes later and Maria had to turn to him to make sure the tension she heard in his voice was actually there.

“Well it is quite late, he’s probably in a bar somewhere with at least two supermodels draped over him,” she remarked snidely and Michael glared at her from the corner of his eye.

“Shut up, Maria. You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

She was about to retaliate but Michael had his cell phone at his ear again, talking animatedly to Rod – Max’s agent? – his words coming out so fast Maria would be surprised if the other person could understand him.

“Okay. I’ll be there. Ok. Yeah, see you soon.” He snapped his cell phone shut and turned to Maria, his hands reaching out to cradle her face. “I got to go.”

He kissed her quickly and then spun on his heel and was out of the apartment before she could even comprehend that he was gone.

[azure_horizon]

Part Twenty-Six

--

March 2007

Liz fiddled self-consciously with the back of her sofa as she watched Max look around her apartment. She didn’t know why – because her apartment wasn’t small by any means – but she felt like Max would judge her on her place of living, or that it wouldn’t be good enough for him.

And as soon as that thought crossed her mind she closed her eyes and practiced the mood enhancer that Verne had taught her. She thought of all the things she had accomplished since coming to Paris; she thought of her apartment, her job, the friends she’d made. She was good enough, her apartment was good enough and if he didn’t like it, then he could just check into a hotel.

When she opened her eyes, Max was standing at the floor to ceiling window that led out onto her balcony and she moved to stand beside him. Further down, she could see Notre Dame lit up brilliant white against the heavy, dark clouds that promised more rain. Liz felt Max’s body move up and down infinitesimally as he breathed and she was surprised by how much his presence soothed her.

“It’s some view,” he murmured after a few moments, his voice barely a whisper and Liz shivered at the sound.

“It opens out onto a covered balcony,” she said and pointed to the handle at his side, informing him that it stretched around to encompass her bedroom. He nodded but didn’t say anything and Liz let the silence stretch. “I’ll get your stuff settled in the spare room,” she said and stepped away, noticing how his jaw tightened slightly at the mention of the spare room. She covered her sigh; she needed to put some distance between them.

“I don’t have much,” he said as he motioned to the small carry-on bag. She didn’t know how to take that so she shrugged and moved to pick it up but he batted her hands away with a small glare. “Where to?”

She motioned for him to follow her and she felt his static presence fall into step behind her. She pointed out the bathroom and made a mental note to put some more towels in there and then led him into the smaller of the two bedrooms.

“Sorry you don’t have much of a view,” she said as she shifted from foot to foot again and Max turned to her, smiling softly.

“I don’t need a view,” he said quietly his eyes liquid honey before he turned away and broke eye contact. “Do you mind if I have a shower?” He asked then, running his hand through his hair as he set his bag down on the middle of the bed.

“No, of course. Do you have gel or anything? I have bars of soap but they’re kind of florally. I’ll need to run down to Carrefour later and-“

“I have some stuff, yeah. In those silly little plastic bottles, you know?” Liz nodded and smiled, letting out a nervous laugh as she shuffled again. “You don’t need to go out of your way-“

“Well, do you want to go to the grocery store by yourself?” She queried lightly, raising an amused eyebrow. He conceded with a nod and a hum of acquiescence and a small shrug. “Come on, I’ll show you how to work the shower. Are you hungry? There’s a bakery just down the street, I can run out and grab us some bread and we can have a sandwich?”

He smiled gratefully and nodded.

“If it’s not too much trouble.”

She shook her head nervously and stepped out of the bedroom, Max on her tail. She showed him where the towels were, where he could put his stuff and then left him to it. She moved on autopilot, donning her jacket and shows and grabbing money from her purse. She skipped down the stair and when she descended the last step, she stopped and tilted her head up to look at the ceiling.

Max Evans was in her apartment. He was having a shower in her apartment.

The laughter bubbled forth before she could stop it, the boisterous sound ricocheting off the walls around her.

She really must be crazy.

--

Later that night, as they picked at the pizza she’d had Romain deliver from the pizzeria down the street, she didn’t ask how long he was staying and he didn’t offer up any information.

“Are you going to need to pick up a few things?” She asked, skirting the topic and he shrugged.

“I can just order some clothes online and have them delivered next day...” He pulled at the collar of his tee and sniffed. “I can’t really keep wearing this.”

Liz laughed lightly.

“I’ll wash it for you. I can go down to H&M tomorrow and pick up a few things... Or you know, wherever...”

“H&M is fine,” he said with a tone that Liz didn’t want to interpret. She looked down to the pizza in her hands. “Want me to come with you?”

She snorted out a laugh at that and shook her head.

“Do you think that’s a good idea?”

He shrugged and shook his head.

“I guess not.” He bit into the pizza, the stringy cheese stretching and stretching and Liz laughed when it snapped and fell down his chin. “Could you pick me up a few beanies and a set of sunglasses? I must have left my sunglasses in London,” he said with a frown and Liz nodded.

“Where from?”

“Wherever you can get them.”

“What kind?”

“It doesn’t matter, Liz. Just anything, okay?” He sniped and Liz sat back slightly, startled by the tone. “Sorry. I’m tired. I haven’t slept for like... two days.”

“It’s all right...” she replied, shrugging. “You should go to bed.”

He seemed to contemplate it for a second before he nodded.

“Yeah. We’ll talk more tomorrow, okay?” Liz couldn’t help but think he couldn’t wait to get away from her. Maybe it was for the best but all she knew was that she wanted to be in his presence for just a little longer. “Oh,” he said when he reached the door, turning back to her. “If I’m still asleep when you want to go out, just take my wallet from my jacket pocket. The number’s 1309.”

She didn’t get to protest because he was out of the door half way through his sentence.

She sighed and set the slice of pizza down on the napkin and sat back in her chair, looking out over the rainy city. She was glad of the space, she supposed but when she could hear Max pottering about down the hall she felt that ridiculous tug to just go and be with him. He obviously needed his own space; he’d been tense around her all day, sniping at her when she tried to explain how to use the metro and how to get into the apartment building. She’d asked him to cut up some bread and he’d slice his finger, hissing at her when she tried to help him clean it up.

Maybe he was just tired. Or maybe he was finally starting to get angry with her. Either way, she hoped that a night of rest and a good chat in the coming days would sort things out, one way or another.

And now that he was here, Liz found she didn’t want him to leave again.

[azure_horizon]

Paris, March 2007

Liz sifted quickly through the piles of tees folded neatly on the table in front of her, picking out one of each colour – taking a few extra black ones because she knew what he was like – before moving on to the hoodie section. She picked up ones with zippers and two without, adding them to the ever-amassing pile in her arms, all the while damning H&M for not investing in hand basket. Max hadn’t been awake when she’d left just shy of midday and she figured she would let him sleep a little longer and she was glad of it; she wasn’t sure she could have handled if it he’d awoken and been as snipey as he had before he’d gone to sleep.

But instead of thinking about that, she stared at the rows of jeans in front of her, tilting her head as she wondered what style he would wear before deciding it didn’t matter; he was used to better ranges than H&M so she picked up two pairs in the appropriate size and added them to the pile. She’d spied beanies over by the tills so she made her way over and picked up a few in varying sizes and colours, just like she had everything else. If he wanted something special, he could either come out and get it himself, or order it online like he’d said he would.

At the cash desk, the young woman eyed the pile of clothes with a hint of disdain and looked up to Liz with an almost glare before her eyes lit in recognition then widened in shock. Liz smiled politely, pretending that her face wasn’t on the billboard right across from the shop and focussed on the clothes as the girl quickly got to work. This is what she hadn’t wanted, all those years ago and look at it now... She tilted her head slightly, seeing the twelve-foot reflection of her face staring back at her and she glowered; hopefully those damn things would be removed soon enough.

“Pardonnez-moi,” the girl behind the counter said quietly and Liz turned to her, “mais n'êtes-vous pas la fille de l'affiche?”

Liz felt her lip curl up slightly in disdain before she smoothed it out and nodded quickly.

“Oui, c’est moi.”

The girl gasped and looked around her to the other people behind the counter but Liz quickly shook her head and the girl snapped her mouth closed and glanced back down to the pile in front of her.

“Mais oui, bien sûr,” the girl murmured, her cheeks aflame. “Pardonnez-moi, s’il vous plait.”

Liz nodded again but the girl didn’t look up again, even as Liz took the receipt from her hands. She took the bags, wanting to say something to let the girl know that there was no harm done but she couldn’t find the words. So she left quickly without saying anything.

Outside, she pulled one of Max’s beanies from a bag and ripped the tag off it, not caring that she would look like an absolute idiot, and pulled it down onto her head. She reached into her bag and slid on her only pair of sunglasses and looked up to the billboard and growled at it.

“Stupid fucker,” she cursed and a few people turned to stare at her in astonishment. She barely refrained from flipping them off. Instead, she pivoted on her heel and headed towards the Galleries Lafayette, hoping to pick up a pair of sunglasses for Max and a new hair style for herself.

--

When she returned to her apartment, Max was sitting in her favourite armchair staring out over the city. He must have saw her approach, or even heard her clumsy arrival in the apartment but he didn’t turn around even as she dropped the ludicrous number of bags onto the sofa across from him.

She stared at him as she pulled off her new, ridiculously over-sized sunglasses and went to say his name but he beat her to it.

“You didn’t take my card.” She shook her head and made to answer but he cut her off again. “I told you to take it, Liz.”

“I-“

“Why didn’t you take my damn card?”

“I didn’t want to go rifling through your pockets. Who knows what I would find.”

He turned to her then, his glare icy and it took a few moments before his eyes narrowed and his eyes skimmed her features in interest. She glanced away self-consciously and when she looked back, the glare had returned.

“I have nothing to hide from you, Liz,” he said, his voice gravelly and Liz recoiled slightly. “What’s with the hair?” He asked with a flick of his chin towards her hair and she felt her own anger return.

“It’s part of my new, required disguise,” she spat and Max eyed her coolly, his eyebrow lifting in question. “While out shopping for you, I was asked four times if I was la fille de l’affiche.” She watched in something akin to glee as his brow furrowed at her use of French. “The girl from the poster because guess what? There’s dozens of them around the city centre!”

And what got under her skin even more was that he smirked. The asshole smirked at her then turned his cool gaze back out over the city.

“Give me your account details, I’ll wire you the money – plus excess for the trouble.”

Liz growled and threw her sunglasses onto the sofa and they bounced off one of the full bags and landed on the floor. She was almost disappointed that they didn’t shatter.

“It’s not about the money, Max,” she seethed but he didn’t even flinch. “It’s about common decency. How would you like it if someone put posters up all over town of you when you’re just trying to live a normal life?”

He snorted and turned his fierce gaze on her.

“News flash, Liz, that’s what’s been happening to me for the last five years.”

She glared at him, knowing that he had a point. Kind of. She took a breath but didn’t break his stare.

“The difference is Max, I didn’t ask for it.” She bent down and grabbed her sunglasses, retrieving her purse from the pile of bags (smirking to herself when two of them fell over and the contents spilled out) and spun on her heel, marching out of the lounge. “I’ll be out for a while,” she yelled over her shoulder, the last part no doubt cut off by the loud slam of her apartment door.

Once she was outside the building, she circled around the opposite way from where she wanted to go, just so he wouldn’t see her from the window. If he was even looking. She walked uphill for the better part of five minutes before she doubled back on herself and headed east along Saint-Germaine towards the University library. She had work to do and she’d be damned if Max Evans got in the way of that.