To hit the rock bottom (UC/CC, Adult, Pt.20,23/7/2012) [WIP]

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To hit the rock bottom (UC/CC, Adult, Pt.20,23/7/2012) [WIP]

Post by secretk » Sun Nov 13, 2011 3:43 am

To hit the rock bottom
You need to hit the rock bottom, so that you can start fight again.

banner: by candysteffi

Disclaimer: All characters and plot lines that appeared in the series or in the books are not mine. The concept of Roswell does not belong to me either. They all belong to Melinda Metz, Jason Katims, UPN and so on. I am just borrowing the characters’ names for this story.

Pairings: CC/UC

Rating: Adult (mostly because this fic contains scenes with violence)

Category: Alien Abyss

Author’s Note 1: This story was written for a different fandom and so it will contain plots from a Mexican soap opera (Clase 406). I am not associated with the series or with its creators. I am just changing the story the way I like it more. The fic is inspired by this soap opera.

Summary: I have never been good in writing interesting summaries, so I am sure that mine will be lame. Let me represent you a group of teens that live in one of the worst neighborhoods in New York - East Harlem. I know, you might say another high school story. Well, this story is different. Going to school and maintain good grades is the least problems for them. I will use some lines of the soap summary, because they are valid for this story. They are not kids anymore, but they are not adults yet. They will start a long ‘journey’ that will change their lives forever. Some will make their wishes come true; others will almost loose themselves in the battle. And as in the real life, there will be people that will see how vanish all their hopes to do what they want most in life. You know before a good and stable raise, there is a good fall down. In this story there will be no taboos. Anything can happen to anyone.

Author’s Note 2: There is a reason why this fic is in Alien Abyss and not in Alternate Universe without Aliens. In fact, there are more than one.

1. First and most important one of the main topic in this fic is the violence in all kind of forms. I will try to warn you when there are such scenes, but be warned.

2. Second, like you see, I don’t want to tell you what the couples are in details, because that will spoil the story. All I can say is that there will be CC, but UC will also be explored to a good extent.

3. The couples here are far away from the canon ones and the characters will be much different than the represented ones in the series. Be warned that you might not like what you read. I have to say that this story is not only about love. There are a lot of things that will happen to the characters besides falling in love.

Author’s Note 3: I don’t live in USA, nor in New York, so I might exaggerate a bit on describing East Harlem. I got the information from the net, so excuse me if I made it worse than it is in reality.

Thanks a lot ArchAngel1973 for beta my story. Without her I wouldn't dare to post anything. Thanks also jbangelo for helping me with the header post for the fic.

This is my first Roswell fic and my first fic in English, so I'm all new in that kind of stuff. Feedback will be appreciated :) .

Chapter 1

September 2002

Hello everyone. My name is Tess Harding and I’m 16 years old. I live in a famous neighborhood in New York - East Harlem. Do you know what’s so interesting about East Harlem? We’re not rich people with nothing to worry about except what dress to wear for the next big party in some fancy bar. We’re famous with street gangs, drug dealers and poverty. Yes, that's right folks, you won't see how I’m happy to attend the annual ball for girls becoming women. I don't care about that. You’ll see how I and my friends fight for our lives. Some of you might say that I’m exaggerating. Some of you might believe that there’s a happy life for everyone, but that's not the real world. I’m sick and tired of hearing how everything depends on me. How I’m the one responsible for my life and my problems. You know what - life isn’t black and white, it’s grey. Granted, there are different nuances, but still grey. I have never worn rose-colored glasses and I never will. It isn't for me. Most people expect me to be this innocent little girl that smiles all the time. Well, I’m not like that and I won't be. Neither are my friends. And speaking of friends - let me introduce you to them. Max Evans is a great friend. I know that I can always count on him for help. He has his flaws like everyone else, but that doesn't bother me at all. Jessie Ramirez is my other friend. Oh, he is so messed up. He has the ability to create problems. Why do I call them friends? Because they’re the only ones that really know me. I know that I’m supposed to be talking about girly stuff with girls, but I’m not that type of person. I don't care what makeup I should wear or what the current fashion trends are. That's the rich girls' problems. Mine are far away from that. You wanna know them? Be patient, I’ll get to that.

"Hey, girl. What's up?" I hear Max's voice and give him a hug.

"Nothing new. I have to go to school!"

You’re probably asking yourself why Max and Jessie don't go to school. Well, the story isn’t that long, so I can summarize it for you. Jessie and Max tend to act like jerks. Last year they beat up Bryan because of a stupid bet. The school's director got pissed off and expelled them. Now, we have a new director at school and they have the chance, but they don't want it. You wanna know why? Just wait and see their answer.

"Ungh, awful," hissed Jessie.

"So what's up there? Anything new with your prince charming?" asked Max as he moved closer to me.

"No, Michael’s been avoiding me for the last two weeks."

"Oh, so your plan isn’t working the way you wanted it to," Jessie commented and started laughing. God, sometimes I hate him. He has this ability to say the most inappropriate thing at the most inappropriate moments.

"Shut up, Jessie!" I warned him and punched him in the stomach with my fist. I’m girl, but I know how to fight. That I owe to Max. "It’s probably Isabel's fault. Why does she have to interfere in my plans all the time? I hate her!"

"That much we know!" I hear Max's voice. "Do you need help?" Oh, that's what I’m talking about. This boy is ready to offer his assistance and to do whatever it takes for me. How I can I not love him?

"Yes, I do. I have to show her once and for all who the queen is."

I know. I’m exaggerating. I’m not a queen and this is not a free country. Still, I need to teach that bitch some manners. She constantly makes my life harder and I’m getting tired tolerating her.

"What do you plan to do?" That's my friend. I tell him yes and he’s already asking me how and when to do it. Yes, Max Evans is a piece of work.

"Just the usual!" I answer casually.

Don't be surprised. It’s not the first time that I’ve threatened someone and it won't be the last. It’s also not the first time that I’m facing Isabel. She’s been my enemy since last school year. Yes, in the beginning we were friends. We’re in the same class and we live in the same neighborhood. It’s not that unexpected. Then she started to try to make my life better. Like I care. It's my choice, not hers. She told me that she was being friendly. Friendly, my ass. You don't tell your friend's most important secret to someone without their permission. I hate betrayers and she betrayed me. That's when she died for me. Well, okay, she’s not dead, because apparently I’m still annoyed by her actions, but she’s not my friend. She’s now my worst enemy.

"Okay, count on me. Jessie, you in?"

"Of course. I won't miss the fun."

Isabel is the school virgin, the most innocent girl that you can imagine. Jessie doesn't like those types. Her expression when she’s threatened by a knife is priceless for me, funny for Jessie, and it works for Max. Yes, as I said, we’re not perfect. Don't judge me! You don't know me or her.

"Did I hear the word 'fun'?" I hear Nicolas' voice. Who is he? Well, he’s not my friend, but he hangs around with Max and Jessie. Well, to be precise, they hang around with him. They’re part of street gang and he’s the gang's leader. Don't act surprised. I told you that this’s typical for East Harlem and we’re typical residents of this neighborhood.

"Yeah, you heard right. We’re planning to give Isabel a lesson," Max answered.

"That blonde girl that likes to gossip?"

Yes, Nicolas is right, she likes to gossip. That’s why she told everyone about my secret. Hey, did I already tell you that I hate her? If I didn't, then consider yourself informed. I can't stand her!

"Yeah, that one. Are you in?"

"Of course. I have some free time now. Let the fun begins!"

And so the four of us headed to the school to wait for Isabel the bitch. She won't know what hit her.
* * *

Hello everyone. My name is Maria Deluca and I’m 16 years old. I attend East Harlem high school and I’m kind of famous there. You wanna know how? Well, ask about the virgin and they’ll show you the way to me. No, I haven't had sex and I’m not ashamed of that fact. I don't care what people think about me. I have friends that approve of my actions and I have boyfriend who loves me. And on top of that, he’s the most handsome boy in class. What more is there to want?

"Hey, little bear!" he congratulates me with a hug and passionate kiss.

"Hey yourself, little bear!" I mirrored his words. We’re known at school as the little bears. You wanna know why? Well, see Kyle and I have been friends since kindergarten. When I was little I had this bear and it was my favorite toy. I couldn’t sleep without it. I needed it even in kindergarten. One day Kyle decided to make a little joke and hid my toy. I cried all afternoon because I couldn’t sleep without it. In the end he apologized to me and gave me back my bear. Since then we’ve been friends and call each other little bear. Since last year we’re also boyfriend/girlfriend.

"I missed you!" he tells me like we haven’t seen each other in ages.

"You saw me yesterday!" I answer him and slap him on the head.

"So what? I’m not allowed to miss my lovely girlfriend?"

I grabbed his hand, moved closer to him and kissed him with tongue. I know we’re in high school, but I can't help it. I love him.

"Oh, you’re so allowed."

"Good. You know you’re so bad, girl."

"I know you like it that way," I answer him and stick my tongue out at him.

"Well, not that I’m complaining, but I think that we should take our relationship to the next level."

Oh, not again. The sex talk. It's not that I don't trust him. I know that he loves me and I love him. I just think that I’m too young for having sex. What if I don't like it? What if I’m not prepared? What if something goes wrong? No, no, no ... There are so many ways that this might go wrong and I just don't want to think about that right now.

"Kyle, we already talked about this. I told you I’m not ready."

"Don't you trust me?" Not this question. Why does he always try to make me the bad one?

"Of course I do. I’m just not ready to do it. Give me time!"

"Maria, I love you and I really respect you, but I wanna be with you in the biblical sense."

Oh, Kyle, sometimes you are a hopeless case. How many times do I need to tell you that I don't want to do it now?

"Kyle, please not now!"

"Sometimes I think you don't love me."

"What?" Yes, what the hell is he talking about? "If I don't want to sleep with you, then I don't love you. Is that how things work between us? Thanks for letting me know, because I wasn't aware of that."

I pulled away from him and started to walk away, but he stopped me.

"Hey, it's not like that. All I’m saying is that we love each other and that's the most important thing. Even if things don't work the way we want them to and even if our first time isn’t that awesome, it won't matter because we respect each other."

"I know, I know, I’m just feeling pressured with all these questions and that’s making me nervous."

"Okay, enough about that," he says and hugs me.

Yes, we have our little fights, but at the end of the day we know that we’re perfect for each other.
* * *

Hello, my name is Isabel Guerin and I’m 16 years old. I attend East Harlem high school and right now I’m walking on foot to school. I don't live that far away. The only thing that might happen to me is meeting Tess and her gang. I don't understand why she’s so hostile with me. We used to be friends at the beginning of high school. I tried to help her and she went nuts. Okay, I get it, she doesn’t want my help and I’m really trying to stay away from her, but she’s constantly accusing me of things I haven't done. I don't know what's going on with her, but I truly hope to not have problems with her today. And just as I said this, I see her and some of her friends - those boys that have nothing to do with their lives. Sometimes I wonder why they were even born. I mean seriously. Why do we need people who don't want to study or work? The only thing they know is how to fight and steal. And of course some of them are in the business of drug dealing. Yes, their existence is so pointless. Not that I care, they can screw their lives however they want. I get out of my thoughts only to find the group just in front of me. Am I wrong or are they too close to me?

"Well, well. Didn't your mother teach you to not walk alone in the streets?" I hear Nicolas's voice. His voice makes me shiver. He’s so short and small and yet so disturbing.

"What do you want?" I ask them. I know they want to have fun and I’m just not in the mood for that, so straight to the point.

"Not so fast, doll!" I hear Jessie's voice. Seriously where they have lived for the past 16 years? I’m not a doll and that's not any way to talk to a lady. Of course, they would have that if they were gentlemen. They’re just boys who don't know how to behave.

"I don't have time for you, so tell me what you want?" I know I’m kind of rude, but they deserve it.

"Feisty one!" I hear Max's voice. Of course he’ll have something to say. They always have something 'interesting' to share. Like I’m interested in their opinion of me. "You should watch your mouth. You wouldn't wanna get hurt!"

Did he just threaten me? I’m sure they’re capable of a lot of things. After all they are criminals. I can't believe that Tess defends them. I mean seriously, who would want to have anything at all to do with these individuals? I don't have enough words to describe them. You’ve gotta be really demented if you think they’re cool people. I’m not saying that I'm perfect, but they represent everything that I despise in people.

"Are you trying to tell me something?" I ask him. He is a man; he can at least say what he wants without using profound phrases that doesn't suit him.

Jessie pulled a knife from his pocket, moved even closer to me and put it near my throat. I have to say I had the feeling that I could hear him breathing. He was that close to me. And the knife didn't help the situation. What did they want?

"Just for you to stay out of my life!" I hear Tess's voice. And finally I know the reason for this lovely visit. She’s using her friends to tell me something. Why does this girl think I'm guilty of everything that happens to her? Is she delusional or something? I try to not even talk to her and yet she always seems to be frustrated with me for something.

"Not a problem. I do that all the time," I answered and tried to get away, but Jessie stopped me and held me in place with his arm.

"No, you’re apparently not doing it. Otherwise I wouldn't have problems with Michael!"

Michael? Okay, what's up with this girl? I haven’t talked with Michael the last few days and I’m in no position to tell him what to do.

"What? I haven't done anything."

"Yeah, right and I believe you."

"What's going on here?" I heard the voice of the new math teacher - Mr. Sorenson. Thank God that he had appeared in time. I may sound brave, but deep inside I was really scared. These boys are capable of anything.

"Nothing, Mr. Sorenson. These boys were just bothering Isabel, but I saved her," Tess answers. How hypocritical can someone be? Tess smiled gently. Then she turned around, looked me straight in the eyes and mouthed, 'Don't tell him anything!' Like I would. I know her very well. The more I try to get even with her, the more she’ll try to hurt me. I just want her to leave me alone.

"Is that true, Isabel?"

"Yes, Mr. Sorenson!" I answer and run away.
* * *

I nod and Max, Jessie, and Nicolas leave me alone with Sorenson. I know they can handle themselves, just not the way I want. Sorenson is my teacher and I don't want problems with him. Not that I can't intimidate him, I’m just trying to play nice. If he doesn't wanna do it, then my friends will show him the right way to communicate with me. I head to the school, but he stops me and grabs my hand.

"I'm not finished, Tess."

"Not finished with what?" It's so much fun to play mind games with young teachers like him.

"Don't play dumb with me!" See, I asked him a normal question and he’s playing games with me. I told you, it’s total fun.

"I’m not playing, Mr. Sorenson!"

"Tess, I know very well that you didn't help Isabel!" Oh, not again with this crap. Now he’s gonna to tell me how bad I am because I’m bothering his favorite student. I don't wanna hear it.

"How do you know?"

"Well, for example, there was a knife. You know I’m not blind." Thank God, he’s not blind otherwise he wouldn’t be a teacher. Not that I like him or anything. I hate all teachers, but I kinda think he’s sexy.

"And since you know there was a knife, I guess you saw that the knife belongs to one of the boys."

"One of the boys? I’ve seen you with those boys several times."

"Well, yeah, they live in the neighborhood and sometimes they attack me too."

"Yeah, right. I guess part of the attack is laughing with them. Tess, I know well that they’re your friends. Leave Isabel alone!"

"Or what?"

"I’ll expel you!"

"You can't do that!"

"Believe me I can. Attacking a classmate with a knife is very good reason."

With that Sorenson leaves me with an open mouth in the yard. Is he serious? And I thought that I’d handle him smoothly. I guess that won't happen. I’ll need somebody's help. God I hate Isabel. This is her fault.
Last edited by secretk on Mon Jul 23, 2012 11:58 pm, edited 20 times in total.

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Re: To hit the rock bottom (UC/CC, Adult, Pt.1, 13/11/2011)

Post by secretk » Sun Nov 20, 2011 3:35 am

Thank you all for the feedback. I really appreciate it :wink: .

nibbles2: Thanks for the encouraging words. I hope you'll continue reading the story.

Alien_Friend: That was my goal - to represent interesting and different from what we've seen in the series.

keepsmiling7: Yes, the cast is different in the beginning.

HypnotiqBlueEyes: Liz will be different from the show for sure. How different and why, you'll have to wait and see.

So all of you wonder where this story go, well it goes somewhere - good or bad you'll have to wait and see. I know that the first few chapters are a bit slow, but they set the story, so I hope that you'll be patient to wait for the real action.

Thanks to candysteffi I have a banner for this story. I have no capabilities of doing such things, so thanks girl. I hope you'll like it.


And many thanks to ArchAngel1973 who is beta'ing my story.

So here is the next chapter.

Chapter 2

I’m sitting in the classroom alone while Kyle’s talking to his friends. More precisely, Tess Harding. I hate her. She’s always around him. They even sit together during classes. He assures me that she’s just his friend, but I don't know. I guess I just can't stand her attitude towards me and Isabel. I wonder what Kyle sees in her. That’ll remain a mystery for me. Speaking of Isabel, I see her coming towards me and I can tell that she’s been crying. Her eyes are red and puffy.

"Isabel, are you all right?" I ask her immediately.

"Yes, I’m fine. Just the usual crap," she tells me and turns her head to where Tess and Kyle are.

"What’s she done this time?"

"More like what her friends did to me. They used a knife!" she whispers. I can tell she’s afraid someone might hear her and cause her more problems with the blonde rebel. I swear that Tess girl reminds me of some cowboy. There’s nothing girlish about her.

"Isabel, relax!" I say and hug her tight. "What happened?"

"Those boys threatened me with a knife, Maria!" Every day I hate them more. Those criminals should be in prison! I hope that someday they get what they deserve.

"You should report them!"

"No, I can't do that!"

"Isabel, don't be afraid."

"Maria, those boys are part of street gang. I can report Tess, Max, and Jessie. And then what? Their gang leader will kill me! You don't understand how serious this situation is."

Unfortunately she’s right. In our neighborhood the police can't do anything. You can go and tell them that your life is in danger and they’ll tell you there’s nothing they can do if you don't have proof. Yeah, the only working evidence is your corpse. I hate feeling so powerless. I hate not being able to help my friends and my family. Granted, these gangsters don't bother me, because Kyle told them so, but still they shouldn't be allowed to do this. Where’s the justice in this country? They can walk on the streets and do whatever they like and we’re unable to stop them because they have rights and we have no proof. I don't care about their rights, because they violate mine. Why the hell should I tolerate them?

"Isabel, I wish I could help you, chica!" Don't be surprised. In East Harlem there are a lot of Hispanic residents, so we all know some Spanish. We call the neighborhood 'El Barrio', because that's the translation in Spanish. I’ll be careful what words to use, but be warned. Oh, and if you don't know, 'chica' means girl.

"I know, but we can't do anything."

"And what if they hurt you?"

"That won't happen!" Isabel seems sure, but I’m not. Today they just showed the knife, tomorrow they might kill her. I don't trust those guys.

"We can't be sure. You need protection!"

"Speaking of that. Sorrenson helped me. He’s so good and nice and handsome and..." I know, I know, she likes him a lot.

"Sounds like someone’s in love." I’m playing around with her.

"Not exactly in love..." She tries to argue with me, but she has to know that she can't fool me. I know her very well. "Well, Okay, I like him, but I’m not in love with him. Besides you can't blame me! You have a boyfriend. I want that too."

"Yes, speaking of Kyle. I just talked to him and he told me that he wants sex."

"Well, that's like the fourth time this month. I think that your boy really wants it bad." See, at least I succeed in making her joke. That's why we’re friends. We help and support each other.

"I know and I’m starting to worry."

"About what?"

"About Tess. She is all over him. I’m afraid he might decide to try something with her because she’s easy and willing to give him sex."

"I don't know. If he loves you, he won't do it."

"Who knows? That bitch is like a snake. Chica, I don't want to lose him."

"Well, then you have to start thinking about sex. What’s stopping you? You love him, he loves you."

"I’m not ready. What if something goes wrong?"

"I don't know. I’m not exactly experienced in this area. All I can tell you is if you decide to do it, please use a condom."

"I’ll definitely use one. I don't want to be a mother at my age."

"Yeah, tell me about it."

* * *

I’ve been sitting in the teacher’s lounge, speechless for about 5 minutes already. I’m still affected by what I saw a few minutes ago. I became teacher because I wanted to help kids find their passion. I knew that it wouldn't be that easy, but somehow I had hoped there are still children that want to learn. Then I came here and found out that the situation is a lot worse than I had ever thought. These kids don't want to study, they have other problems. How am I supposed to make someone solve math problems when they have other things to worry about? Tess is smart girl and she has a lot of potential, but she just doesn’t want to use it. She prefers to be with these boys instead of being home studying. On the other hand there’s Isabel and Maria. They’re upstanding members of this community, good students, and yet they have to tolerate street gangs and thieves. Sometimes I wonder how this world is so messed up. How I am supposed to teach these kids morals when there’s no institution in this country that is willing to help them?

"Sorrenson, are you okay?" I hear Kathleen Topolsky, the school psychologist.

"Yes, I’m fine," I answer simply.

"Come on! You can tell me what’s worrying you." I know I can tell her, but does it matter? She won't tell me anything that I don't already know. That's how everything works here. We see the problems and turn around because they don't affect us. Here we are trying to teach the youngsters to be responsible, but I’m sure most of the adults are incapable of accomplishing that. Sometimes we feel fear, sometimes we don't have time, sometimes we’re too busy to see the problems and sometimes we deliberately close our eyes because we can't bear the truth.

"I witnessed a fight between Tess and Isabel."

"That's nothing unusual. They fight like cats and dogs." See, that's what I’m talking about. She reacts like this is something very normal. She didn't even hear the whole story and she’s already given up because that's typical for them.

"I figured that already. What worries me is the boys that Tess hangs around with."

"I know, they’re dangerous. I tried to talk to her, but she doesn't wanna listen to me."

"What about her parents? Did you try to talk to them?"

"Well, I spoke to her mother, but she told me that there’s nothing to worry about."

"And her father?"

"She doesn’t have a father. He died some years ago. Her mother lives with a man now, but he and Tess don't get along. In fact last year Isabel told me that he abuses her physically."


"Well, nothing’s been confirmed. They all denied it but I have my doubts. Since then Tess and Isabel aren’t friends."

"Is Isabel capable of lying about that?"

"With these kids who knows? I, however, think she was trying to help her friend. Then again what can we do? If this man’s abusing her and she and her mother aren’t willing to do anything, how are we supposed to help her?"

Again, this feeling of hopelessness. I have to admit though, she’s right. We can't help people if they don't wanna help themselves.

* * *

Thank God the school day’s over. I swear sometimes I want to be like Jessie and Max. I hate everyone there, but if I quit school, Ed will kill me. Who’s Ed? My mother's beloved boyfriend. Do I like him? Not if he was the last person on Earth. Anyway, I try to avoid him as much as possible. That’s why right now I’m not going home, but to the Garden of Eden. This’s our favorite place. Here we can sit and talk without being bothered by teachers or other students like that stupid bitch Isabel or her friend Maria. If it wasn’t for Kyle I’d try to play around with her, but right now he’s protective of her because she’s his girlfriend. I don't know what he sees in her. She’s so shallow, stupid, and a virgin. Yeah, everything that I don't like in girls. But enough about her, right now my problem is Sorrenson. I tried to talk to him, but he won't listen to me, so I’m gonna need some help.

"What's up, Tessie!" I hear Jessie's voice and I swear I could kill him. He knows very well the only person that calls me that is Ed and like I said I hate him.

"Jessie, shut up!" I warn him.

"Oh, is it that time of the month?" I look at him seriously and see his smile vanish.

"Not the right time for jokes, moron. I have a problem."

"What's up?" I hear Max's voice. That boy will do whatever it takes to help people. He’s wonderful friend.

"Because of that Isabel... bitch, Sorrenson wants to expel me."

"What’d you do now?" Nicolas asks me.

"Nothing except what we did this morning."

"Then I don't understand. Did you not tell him that you helped her?"

"Well, Nicolas, Sorrenson isn’t that stupid. He doesn’t believe me. He’s seen me with you and knows that you’re my friends."

"That sucks." Max sighs. "I guess you’ll have to be a good girl this year."

"Or you can teach him a lesson. You know if something happens Ed will kill me."

"Ed won't kill you." Jessie’s trying to convince me that my situation isn’t that hard.

"Fine, he’ll use me as a sparring partner. Isn’t that enough?"

"Relax, guys. We can try talk to him. Right?" I hear Max's voice. At least his brain is functioning normally.

"Talk?" asks Jessie impatiently.

"Or more than talk. It depends on the situation, dude." answers Nicolas.

Well, yes, my friends will help me. I know that for sure.

* * *

I stayed till the late afternoon at school. I never thought it’d be easy to be a teacher, but I didn’t expect it to be so hard. I’m not talking about the classes or the time that I have to invest in evaluating students' exams. How I can be a teacher and nothing more? What am I expected to do when I see violence? Do I have to try to talk with Tess and her mother or should I just sit and wait? I know Tess's behavior isn’t unreasonable. I know there’s something more, but she doesn't want to open up to me or Kathleen. On the other hand there’s Isabel. She’s good girl and I’m sure as hell she knows very well her rights, but she doesn't want to defend herself. She prefers to not do anything and to put up with everything they do to her instead of reporting them to the police. Should I interfere? Should I try to help her or maybe I have to leave them alone. Maybe they’ll find a way to overcome this conflict. Are they capable of doing this on their own? Do they need my assistance? I wonder if their parents know what’s happening with their own children. If they do, then why the hell don’t they care enough to give them some sense and show them that violence won't bring them anything good? Or maybe they don't know.

Then again, how busy can someone be to not see that their kid has a problem? Is the world really that difficult? Are we really so obsessed with ourselves that we can't see what’s happening right in front of our eyes? I’ve been asking myself these questions for the past week and the saddest thing is that I still don't have an answer. I’m an adult and I don't know how to react in such situations. No wonder these kids don't know what to do. No one has taught them how to do it. I look around the empty teacher’s lounge and realize that it’s time to go home. I live in an apartment not that far from school, so I usually walk. I look at my watch - it shows 17:00 o'clock. Is it really that late? It's still bright outside. There are some people that are going home from work. It's like every other normal day in this town.

"Good evening, Mr. Sorrenson!" Or maybe it's not that normal. I hear some boy talking to me. I turn around and I see the boys that I met earlier today with Tess. What do they want? They don't go to school, so I doubt that they were in class.

"Good evening, boys!" I’m trying to stay calm because I know that these boys might be dangerous. I pass them and continue walking to my home.

"Not so fast, mister!" I hear some other boy telling me.

I turn around and see that he’s very close to me. A minute later and I’m surrounded by a bunch of youngsters. This can't be good. The short one looks me in the eye and with a wide smile on his face, stretches his hand, and suddenly I’m on the ground. The boy punches me in the face. What's going on here? I try to get up, but before I’m able to do that someone kicks me in the stomach. What can I do? I’m here alone and there are like five or more of them. I can't beat them. I can't fight back. I just hope that they won't kill me.
* * *

Tess told us that Sorrenson stays late at school, so we decided to wait for him. We hid near the school property and expected him to show. An hour later we saw him walking on the street and that's when we decided to put our plan in motion. We wouldn't kill him or hurt him badly, we just wanted to threaten him, so that he’ll leave Tess alone.

"Good evening, Mr. Sorrenson!" Nicolas says to him and he turns with a surprised look.

"Good evening, boys!" he says to us casually. I can see that he’s afraid. He continues walking, but Jessie stops him.

"Not so fast, mister!"

Nicolas, Jessie, me, and some other guys in the gang surround him. He looks at us and I know that he realizes very well what’s going to happen. Nicolas moves closer to him and punches him hard in the face, so that he falls to the ground. He tries to get up, but Jessie kicks him in the stomach. Then the other guys start to kick him too.

"Leave Tess alone!" I warn and kick him in the back. Then I see some lady walking on the streets. I look closely and I recognize her - Topolsky. I give a sign to the others and we leave him on the street. Like I said, we won't kill him, we just wanted to give him some perspective. I’m not sure if she spotted us, but we run away. We don't want to get caught and put in jail. Yeah, I know this isn’t the perfect life that you picture for 17-year-old kids, but that's how we live. If you have something more to offer, then speak. I’m sure though that you can't offer me money or a good and neat house in calm neighborhood. If you were able to do that, I wouldn't be doing this.

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Re: To hit the rock bottom (UC/CC, Adult, Pt.2, 20/11/2011)

Post by secretk » Sun Nov 27, 2011 3:49 am

Thanks for the feedback. Even if it's from two people, it's better than anything.

keepsmiling7: Thanks. I knew that I take kind of a risk, when I decided to portray characters different from what we've seen in the show. I'm glad that so far it's interesting for you and not strange.

Alien_Friend: I know that it's really sad, but what's sadder is that this might be real. In deed there are people and teens who live like that. You know when I start writing this fic, I wanted to make you feel sad about Isabel and Tess in the same time. I wasn't sure if this will work, but I see that so far it does. Isabel did try to help Tess, but Tess got it all wrong. With the time it'll be explained.

As always thanks to ArchAngel1973 who's beta'ing my story.

Chapter 3

I got home late today. I had some urgent things to do. I went to the library to return some books and to checkout some more. All day I’ve wondered where the hell my brother was. We’re in the same class and he’s supposed to be at school, but he wasn't. I guess he was partying somewhere else again. Sometimes I wonder how he can be my brother. We have nothing in common. Maybe he was switched in the hospital. Who knows? I look around in the hall and see him watching hockey again. That's all he does. Well, besides making out with girls.

"Michael, where were you today? I didn't see you at school," I ask him and stand in front of the TV. That's the only way to make him talk to me.

"Really?" he asks me casually. God, I want to choke him.

"Yes, really!" I roll my eyes. "We’re in the same class, you know. If you were there, I would’ve noticed." We’re twins, so we’re in the same class.

"Isabel, leave me alone!" he tells me and waves his hand. "I’m busy!"

Oh really? He’s busy? Watching a hockey game is more important than talking to me? No, I don't think so, brother. You will hear me out! I reach for the remote control on the table and switch off the TV.

"Now, you’re not busy!"

"What’d you do, bitch?"

He tries to get the remote control from my hands, but I manage to elude him.

"Nothing! Michael, what’d you do to Tess?"

"Tess? You’re interrupting the hockey game so we can talk about Tess? Seriously, I’m not in the mood for that. Give me the remote!" he tells me and tries to reach my hand, so that I’ll give up. Not going to work, Michael!

"Yes, I am. Somehow that bitch thinks that I told you something about her."

"I see. Well, it's not my fault that she got a bit jealous! I’m irresistible to women!"

Oh please! Get a grip! You are so full of yourself!

"I don't care about your love life, I mean sex life. I just don't want to be threatened by Tess and her gorillas because of you!"

"Like that’s my fault. You know she’s a bitch and likes to make fun of you."

"It is your fault! Because of you that Jessie boy threatened me with knife!"

"Knife? C’mon sis, don't exaggerate! I thought you were used to these regular fights with the blonde."

"Michael, I’m fucking serious!" I yell at him and he starts laughing.

"What's so funny?"

"It’s not that often you hear a virgin talk about fucking!"

"Michael, can you stop acting like a retard and for one second try to act like, I don't know, a human being?"

"Hey, I’m not gonna allow you to insult me!" he tells me and now I’m sure my brother really is stupid. The only thing that interests him is watching hockey and having sex with beautiful girls with no brain.

"Michael, you’re a hopeless case."

"Thanks, sis!" he tells me with a smile, gets the remote control from my hand, and switches on the TV.

"Listen to me carefully! I don't want you to cause anymore problems between me and Tess. Do whatever you like, I don't care! Just leave me out of your life! Am I clear?"

"God, Isabel. Who died and made you the queen?" he asks me.

"So far no one. If you continue to act like this, you might become a corpse," I answer him and he starts laughing and yelling like some monkey. Yeah, if he was a monkey, it would be easier to talk to him.

* * *

Topolsky helps me to stand up and walk to my house. I don't know what might have happened if she hadn't appeared in time. I knew that those boys are trouble, but I didn't expect them to be that dangerous. I guess I was wrong. I really wanted to help them, to give them a chance, but that won't happen. The only possibility for me is to make them pay for what they did. At least they’ll know that their actions have consequences.

"Grant, are you okay?" Kate asks me. What I should tell her? That I’m disappointed in them? She told me that they’re dangerous. I should have listened to her.

"I’ll be fine. I have just a few bruises. Nothing serious..."

"I can't believe that they did that. What’d they want?" she asks me.

What did they want? Who knows? I did hear something about Tess...

"I have no idea. They mentioned Tess, but I was really too busy protecting myself, so I couldn't understand them very well."

"I told you they’re not good people. You shouldn’t have confronted them. They can hurt you. Don't you get it?"

I sipped a bit of the tea that she made and took her hand.

"They won't hurt me!" That much I know. I won't let these boys do whatever they want. If they want to be grown up and act like men, they’ll have to face the problems like men.

"How you can be so sure?" she asks me and I can see that she’s worried.

"I won't let them violate my rights. The first thing I’ll do tomorrow morning is to press charges against them!" I say determinedly.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I am and I need your help."

"My help?"

"Yes, I need their names."

"I’m not sure that’s the right thing to do. They might send them to jail."

"So? They broke the law. There must be punishment for that," I answer her. I know some of you might think that I’m cruel, but it's the right thing to do. These kids should know what responsibility is. Everyone makes mistakes, but some people learn from them. If I let them walk free after this, how will they know this isn’t the right way to treat people?

"I know and I understand you, but these people are dangerous. You’ll put them in jail. What about the rest of the gang? How you can be sure they won't go after you?"

And I suddenly realize that it’s not only the kids that don't trust the law. The same goes for their parents. See, Topolsky here doesn't think that I have a chance against this gang. That's why we’re here, because no one has the courage to tell the truth. We prefer to live in constant fear instead of taking the risk and say aloud that someone is criminal.

"That's why we have police. That's why we have laws and courts. If I want to break this gang, I have to report them."

"I don't know. I’m afraid."

"The more you’re afraid, the more they can hurt you. Don't you get it? We can't just sit here and do nothing. If we want to give these guys a lesson, we have to show them where they’ll end up if they continue to live this way."

"If you say so ..." she says to me. She’s not convinced, but I don't care. I’ve made up my mind. Tomorrow morning I’m going to the police station.

* * *

It’s already 18:00 and I have no other choice. I have to go home. I really don't wanna do it. I hate Ed and I hate seeing him with my mother. I can't understand why she likes him so much. He can't give her anything. He treats her bad, he calls her names, he beats her, he yells at her for every little thing, and yet she tells me that she loves him. Is love really that blind? I mean I get that she wants to be with someone. I get that she feels lonely after my dad died, but does she have to be living with such a prick? He’s like the king of the jerks. I open the door and see Mister Jerk sitting at the table, while my mother is serving him dinner. Did I mention that he’s really lazy? Yes, he thinks that I and my mother are his servants and we should do everything he wants, so that he feels comfortable. He’s a world-class pig.

"You’re late, Tess!" he says like he has the right to judge me.

"I am not!" I answer him harshly.

"Where’ve you been?" Like I’ll tell you the truth. None of your business, idiot!

"Studying at a friend's house."

"Good, good. I don't wanna hear that you’re wasting our money doing nothing. You should study, not hang around with those good for nothing boys," he tells me like he’s the most responsible guy in the world. Seriously? Who does he think he is? I’m not wasting his money; I’m using my mother's money, because he doesn’t work.

"Yeah, right," I answer and go into the kitchen to see my mother.

"Hey honey, how was school?" she asks me.

"Fine. You know, the usual." I hope that Sorenson didn't talk to them because that might cause me some problems.

"Good. I don't want you to miss classes because of your irresponsible friends."

"Don't worry, Mom. Everything’s fine." I prefer to be around people like Max and Jessie rather than Ed.

I help her serve the food and then we’re getting ready for dinner. Ed tries his food and turns to my mom with angry expression.

"The meat isn’t grilled well," he complains.

"Give me your plate! I’ll put it in the microwave." She offers him help like he deserves it. She gets up, but reels for a moment and the food falls on the ground.

"I’m sorry! I’m sorry!" She apologizes to him like she has just committed some serious crime.

She runs into the kitchen and he follows her. The next thing I hear is my mother asking him to not beat her. "Don't hurt me, Ed! Don't hurt me!"

I leave the kitchen, go to my room and cover my ears. I’m sick and tired of listening to the wails of my mother. Why the hell is she staying with him?

* * *

I woke up this morning to an unpleasant surprise. Sorenson pressed charges and now I'm at the police station facing the possibility of going to juvenile detention. I can't believe that this’s happening to me. Well to me and Jessie. He pressed charges against both of us. I needed to think and it had to be fast. I don't want to end up in one of those places. I didn't do anything. Well, I did punch him once, but it wasn’t that bad. Right? I don't want to be here. I needed help and when I saw Topolsky talking with the police officer, I seized my chance. I decided to talk to her and beg for help. I didn't have any other choice.

"Excuse me, can I talk to you?" I ask and turn to Topolsky. She looks at me suspiciously and doesn't say anything. I can tell that she’s weighing her options.

"Leave the lady alone, boy!" the police officer tells me and tries to pull me away, but I don't move. I can't. I won't surrender that easily.

"It's okay, sir. I’ll talk to him!" I hear her voice and I can't tell you how happy I am right now. It's nothing, I know, but she could've just walked away from me.

"Are you sure, ma’am? These boys are dangerous!"

"Don't worry. I know him," Topolsky says and we both go to a nearby office.

"Thank you very much, Mrs. –"

"Don't thank me yet!" she answers me harshly. "I’m really pissed, Max! How could you do this?"

"I know and I’m sorry!" I tell her and look at the ground. I don't have the courage to look into her face. I’m afraid that I’ll see the disappointment there.

"You’re sorry? What if you’d really hurt Sorenson? What if you’d killed him? That's the only thing that you have to say?"

"We wouldn't kill him! We just wanted to threaten him."

"Really? Cause that makes it so right!" she yells at me.

"Look, I know that we screwed up, big time, but I really want another chance!"

"Max, people don't give another chance like tissues. You do know that, right?"

"Yes, I do know that, but I need your help."

"So you need my help? Now you want me to help you? How many times have I talked to you in the last year? How many times have I asked you to talk to the new director and ask him to give you permission to return to school? How many?"

I just stay silent and speechless. I know that she’s tried numerous times, but I’ve never listened to her. I was stubborn and stupid.

"I know I was wrong, but I’m young, I’m just kid. Everyone’s allowed to make mistakes, right?"

"Well, we have an agreement about something. You are young, but you’re not a little kid anymore. You can't be kid when you want to be. You decided to come here, you decided to live on your own, because you thought that you were old enough to be responsible for yourself. And now you’re saying that you’re a kid because you want to escape your punishment. That's not how things work in the real world."

I know she’s right, I know it. I know that I was stupid and irresponsible, but I don't want to be here. I can't be here. I... I don't picture my life that way.

"I realize my mistakes and I want to change, but I can't do it by myself. Please, let me out of here."

"I can't do that. The only way is if Sorenson drops the changes."

"You can talk to him! Please!" I’m begging her. I’m ready to kneel down and kiss her hands if I need to do it.

"I can. The question is do I want to. I won't ask someone who by the way is my friend, to do something for you if I’m not sure that you’ll keep your promise to change."

"I’ll do it, I swear!"

"You have to go back to school!"

"What? They won't let me!"

"Well, you can beg me to talk to Sorenson, but you can't beg the director to let you return to school? I guess now I know how far your motivation goes."

She answers me and stands up. I know that if I don't do something she’ll leave me alone. No, I can't surrender now.

"Fine. Jessie and I will return to school."

"And you’ll behave yourselves?"

"Yes, we will."

"And you’ll maintain good grades?"

"Yes, we’ll do our best!"

In that moment I’m ready to promise her anything if I’m sure it’ll help me.

"And you’ll leave the gang and forget those boys?"

"Yes, we’ll do whatever it takes, so we can get out of here."

"Fine. I’ll help you, but the first time you break your promises, I’ll stop doing it. Do you understand me? This isn’t some game where you can lie to me and expect everything to be okay."

"Yes ma’am, I know. I promise you everything will be fine."

"Max, I hope that you’re right, because the only one that’ll be hurt in the end is you. I don't have problems with the authorities. I’ve done what I had to and my life is just fine. You’re the one that has problems."

"I know and I promise I’ll change!"

I could change, right? It's not that difficult. I mean anything’s better than jail.

* * *

I’ve been waiting for the last 10 minutes. I can see that Topolsky and Max are in a heated argument in the office. What's going on? I hear the door open and Topolsky walks in my direction. I guess we’re ready to go to work.

"Grant, can I talk to you?" Or maybe not. What happened in there?

"Sure, we can talk on the way to school," I answer her.

"No, I think that we should do it here," she answers and stops me.

"Kate, what's going on? Is there something wrong? Did he threaten you or something?" I’m afraid, she seems a bit worried.

"What? No, no, he didn't do anything like that. He asked me for help."

"Help? What do you mean?" I’m confused now.

"He wants you to drop the charges."

"Figures! I doubt that he wants to be in jail, but he has to pay for what he did."

"I know and you’re right, but I’m not sure that staying in jail will help him. I think there’s a better solution."

"Better solution?" I ask, surprised. What’s she got in mind?

"Yes, I think they have a better opportunity to realize their mistakes if they return to school."

"I agree, but I doubt they’ll do it."

"Oh, they’ll do it. Max promised me they’ll reform."

"Are you willing to believe him?"

"Well, I want to trust him. I really hope they’ll try their best. Otherwise I’ll be really afraid for them."

She’s right. Sure, according to the laws in this country they deserve to be in a juvenile facility, but I’m not sure it’ll help them. They need to go to school, to see the importance of education. And yet it’s another case where I have to ask myself are the rules that we follow always correct? I mean if we follow the rules, we should send every criminal to jail, no matter race, age, family, and financial situation. When we’re dealing with kids though, maybe the more important thing is to give them a chance to realize their mistakes and change instead of just focusing on the punishment. On the other hand, there are so many problem kids in the world and most of them end up dead or in jail and we can't do anything about it. Is it our fault that these kids don't know how to manage their living situation or it is their fault? Who is more responsible? The parents who are too blind or busy to see what their kids going through, the kids that prefer the easiest way or the other adults who just stand aside and watch, but don't do anything because these aren’t their kids? Sometimes I’m afraid that no one knows and the only ones that suffer are the throwaway kids who will turn into criminals in the future.

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Re: To hit the rock bottom (UC/CC, Adult, Pt.3, 27/11/2011)

Post by secretk » Sun Dec 04, 2011 3:57 am

Thanks a lot for the feedback :) .

Alien_Friend: So you don't believe Max and Jessie? I guess you'll like Maria in this chapter. She thinks the same. Yes, Tess and Isabel don't have the perfect family situation.

keepsmiling7: Well, they can say (and promise a lot of things), but we'll see if they will change. When I was a child, I used to see the world in blank and white. If someone had asked me then about the trow away kids, I would've said that it's only their fault. Now, I'm wondering what are their parents saying about that.

I'm sorry to right in that color, but I have to put a warning and I want to be sure that everyone will read it. There is a rape scene in the end of this chapter. If you're not allowed or don't wanna read it, just skip the last scene. As I said the first chapters are just for getting know the characters, but what happens in this chapter might a change a lot of the situation for our characters.

Thanks a lot ArchAngel1973 for beta my story.

Chapter 4

We’re sitting here in the classroom waiting for Sorenson who’s surprisingly late. Another 10 minutes and we can think of this class as free.

"I’m worried. He’s never late!" Isabel tells me. She really likes this math teacher.

"Yeah, it is uncommon for him to be late. I guess he had some problems."

At that moment I hear the door open and Sorenson arrives. What surprised me though is the fact that he isn’t alone. Behind him are Jessie Ramirez and Max Evans. What’re they doing here? Please don't tell me they’re going to be in our class. That's unbelievable. They’re criminals. They should be in jail, not free in school.

"Isabel, please tell me I’m dreaming," I whisper in my friend's ear.

"Unfortunately you aren’t. What’re they doing here?" Yeah, she’s wondering the same thing.

I turn around and see how the rest are asking themselves the same thing. We start to make noise and Sorenson finally decides to explain what's going on.

"Kids, relax! This’s Max and Jessie and they’re gonna be in your class." Did he just say what I heard? These boys worthy of nothing will be in our class? No, that can't be true!

"I can't be quiet, Mr. Sorenson!" I say. "They’re criminals and now I’m afraid for my life."

"Oh, shut up, bitch!" Jessie tells me. Did he just insult me? Son of a bitch. I won't allow him to talk to me that way.

"You shut up, worthless creature of the nature!" I answer him. Jessie raises his hand in attempt to slap my face, but Sorenson stops him.

"All of you shut up and relax! Jessie, don't insult Maria. Maria, the same goes for you!"

"Well, I won't insult myself!" I answer with laugh.

"I’m serious! They’re your classmates and you should respect them!"

"Like hell I’ll respect them! They don't respect me or my rights and I don't care whose ass they kissed. I don't want to study with criminals."

"Maria they have the right to attend school!" Sorenson tries to explain to me.

"I don't care! They threatened Isabel with a knife. And I’m sure that she has a right to live a normal life." Isabel whispers in my ear "Shut up!" but it's too late. I already said it. Besides I won't sit here and do nothing. She might be afraid of that Tess bitch, but I’m not.

"Maria, you're right and they’re really sorry for what they did and they’ve promised they won't do it again."

"Seriously? Are we in kindergarten? They’re liars. I don't believe a word they say. Besides I don't think that they can study. It requires a brain."

"Enough! I won't allow you to talk that way about me and my friend," Max tells me.

"Kids, all of you shut up. Jessie and Max, go to your seats."

"But..." Max protests.

"Nothing! You have to be prepared that not everyone will be thrilled to see you at school. You’ve hurt people and they won't be happy to see you again."

"That’s why they should be in jail!" I interrupt the teacher because I can't remain silent.

"Maria, let me do the talking. They’re in your class and you should accept it."

"That's all you have to say to me? Seriously? I guess we’re all equal, but some are more equal. I didn't know that the law in this country worked that way. They beat people and instead of being in jail, they’re free at school. I guess it won't be a problem if I do the same. If that's what you’re teaching your students, then I don't want to be here," I say and go to the door, but he stops me.

"Maria, you should know that people deserve second chance."

"I know that, but I won't give a second chance to someone who doesn't deserve it."

"Why do you think they don't deserve it?"

"Well, they didn't apologize to me or Isabel or everyone they’ve mistreated or hurt."

"Fair enough! But they apologized to me."

"Like I care what they do. I warn you, Mr. Sorenson, if they do anything to me like just touch me I’m gonna do whatever it takes to let everyone in this city know that this country’s justice system sucks."

With that I return to my seat and sit with crossed arms. I’m pissed, really pissed. No, I’m angry. I hate it when life is so unfair.

* * *

The rest of the math class passed quickly. I still can't understand what that Maria girl’s problem is. We’ve never even talked to her. Kyle’s warned us to leave her alone and we haven't done anything to her. And yet she threatens us with being expelled.

"Oh my God, Kyle what's the problem with you chick?" asks Tess.

"Hey, Jessie called her a bitch."

"That's because she’s acting like one. She can't decide whether I’m allowed to be here or not."

"BTW why the hell did you decide to return to school?" asks Kyle.

"Well, to make a long story short, Max, the hero here, decided to cut a deal with Topolsky."

"Hey, if it wasn't for me, we’d still be in jail," I correct him. I know that he doesn't like it here, but he has to make some sacrifices and show some gratitude.

"What?" Tess shrieks.

"Yes, we did what you wanted. And Sorenson decided to press charges against us, so this morning we had a wakeup call from the police."

"I’m really sorry, Max. I didn’t expect him to do that." She apologizes to me.

"Anyway. I talked to Topolsky and convinced her to help me, but there was a price to pay. That's why we’re back in school."

"Unfortunately!" Jessie rolls his eyes. "I’m telling you that Maria girl’s getting on my nerves. I don't know how much I can take. Someday I’m gonna crack and it won't be good for her."

"Jessie, relax!" I’m trying to give him some advice. Otherwise we’ll both be screwed.

"I can't!" he tells me. "She called us criminals!"

"She’s right!" We hear Michael's voice. "I’ll tell you something and I want you to remember it very well, because I won't say it twice. Don't mess with my sister or her friend! You’re not the only bad boys here. If you do something to them, I’ll make you pay and it won't be good. Do you understand me?"

"Dude, relax!" Tess tries to cool him down, but he pushes her away.

"The same goes for you, bitch. I’m sick and tired of hearing about your arguments with my sister."

"Dude, what's up with you?" she asks him.

"You don't wanna know! Just remember well that they’re not alone and if you hurt them, you’ll know very well why people say that payback’s a bitch."

"Michael, relax. I’ll keep them in line!" Kyle intervenes.

"You’d better because we’re also talking about your girl!"

With that Michael walks away and we’re speechless. Did he just do that? I knew that it wouldn't be that easy, but I didn't expect it to be so hard. I wanted to punch him in the face for messing with me, but I can't. One wrong turn and I’ll end up in jail and I don't want that. I have to stay out of trouble.

* * *

I’m sitting in the teacher's lounge and listening to the way everyone’s congratulating Sorenson and Topolsky for their decision to help Max Evans and Jessie Ramirez. Everyone’s talking about them like they’re some kind of heroes. I personally don't believe these kids. I’m sure they’ll screw up again. They’re born losers and that’s what they’ll always be. Sorenson’s just young and inexperienced. He has this idea that he’s here to help the kids and support them. I wonder when he’ll understand that this’s mission impossible. These kids are bound to fail. They’re at the bottom of life’s chain and will never succeed, because they’re not capable of doing anything for themselves. They’re fated to remain scum. I can see them years from now. The girls will become mothers of three or four kids by the age of 20. They’ll live in some old house in the neighborhood. Their spouses will have to work two jobs so they can put food on the table. At the end of the day they’ll have to kill the pain they feel by drinking too much.

"What about you, Kivar?" I hear Sorenson ask me. "What do you think about Max and Jessie? Some teachers don't think that they can be good students."

"I share their opinion. I don't think they can do anything more than fight, drink, and have sex."

"Don't you think that you’re too judgmental? You should give them a chance!"

"No, dude. Look, I’ll give you some free advice. You can't change them and you can't help them. They’re hopeless scum. Sooner or later they’ll end up either dead or in jail," I answer him and walk away. He looks at me, not understanding what I’m saying. Poor Sorenson. He’s so determined and blind. He thinks he can change the world. Years from now he’ll know that the world will change him. It's just inevitable.

* * *

Today is a bit more special day at school. I’m not talking about Max Evans and Jessie Ramirez. I don't give shit about them. I’m talking about the teacher’s party that’s about to happen. After the classes finished, Isabel and I went to our homes to get changed and now we’re ready for the fun to begin. Sure, I’m still pissed because of those scumbags in my class, but I won't allow anything to spoil my fun. We’re in the ladies' room right now because Isabel wants to check her skirt for like, the 12th time for the last hour. She really wants to impress Sorenson. That girl has it bad. I’ve been waiting her for the last 5 minutes.

"Look what I found!" Finally she comes out from the bathroom, but I see that she has a bottle in her hand.

"What’s that?"

"Tequila, baby!" Isabel answers me and starts laughing. I check the bottle and see that someone’s already drunk a bit. I come near Isabel and I can smell of alcohol on her breath.

"Isabel, have you been drinking?" I ask her.

"Just a little bit," she tells me and continues laughing. "Try it! It's not that bad."

I turn around and see the teachers enjoying the party. No one sees us, so no one will catch us. What the hell? I’ll take just a little bit. Right? Nothing serious will happen.

"Fine." I agree with her and take a bit from the bottle. She follows me and does the same thing.

"Chica, I am so happy!" She tells me. I know what she’s talking about and I’m feeling the same.

"Me too. This party is so awesome!" I answer her and take another sip.

A few minutes later I check the bottle and realize that we’ve drunk half of it, but I don't care. It’s so funny. This party’s cool. I don't plan to stop drinking.

"Maria, I love you so much," she tells me and continues laughing. I’m doing the same thing. See? It’s really fun.

"I love you too, Isabel," I tell her and hug her tightly.

* * *

The teachers’ party started 30 minutes ago and I haven't seen Maria. She told me she was going to Isabel's house to change, but that was an hour ago. I look around, but there’s no sign of her.

"So, where’s your girl, dude?" Max asks me.

"Yeah, where’s the bitch?" Jessie adds and I give him a pissed look.

"Jessie, shut up! I don't know where she is."

"Hey, isn't that Isabel?" Tess asks me and I turn around to see Isabel dancing with Sorenson.

Still I don't see Maria. What the hell is going on? Isabel is laughing like she’s crazy or high or something.

"Wow, the virgin’s able to have fun. Who would’ve believed it?" Tess comments.

"There’s something wrong guys," I tell them.

"Yes, definitely. She’s like a robot. All she can do is study." Jessie retorts and I’m starting to worry.

"No, look at her. She’s acting strange. She’s laughing like crazy."

"Maybe the devil’s come to Earth and possessed her."

"Tess, I’m serious. I think she’s drunk and that makes me think Maria’s drunk as well."

"Oh, please, they’re incapable of doing that. They’re so perfect and good and innocent."

"Tess, just shut up!" I tell her and leave them.

I have to find Maria. If I’m right, she’s drunk and I don't want some teacher to see her in that condition. Besides it’s dangerous for her. No, I have to take care of her. After 15 minutes I finally find her sitting with Isabel on a bench in the school yard.

"Oh my God, Maria, it was so cool to dance with him." I hear Isabel's voice.

"Yeah, you were glowing, girl!" Maria answers and I can see that she’s sitting on the edge of the bench and the way she reels tells me that she could fall on the ground at any moment.

"I know, he’s so good and handsome."

"You look so ..." Maria starts talking, but she’s so drunk that her brain can't function properly.


"No, no ..."

"In love?" Isabel plays with my girlfriend, but I can tell that she’s even worse off than Maria.

"No, no, something else."

"Drunk?" I ask them. I couldn't wait anymore. I have to help Maria to sober up. If the teachers see her this way, she might be expelled.

"Kyle, I was looking for you," she tells me and stands up to give me a hug and kiss. God, she’s really drunk. I look around and see an empty bottle of tequila.

"Maria, what’ve you done?" I’m worried about her.

"Nothing, we just took a bit." She answers me, like she took only a sip.

"Nothing? You’re drunk. Come with me!"

I grab her hand and take her to the ladies room. She needs cold water so that she can sober up. I can't leave her there. She tries to stop me, but I’m stronger than her. God, Maria, why’d you do this? Thank God that nothing serious happened.

* * *

I’m sitting on the bench alone. Most of the students have already gone home. It's getting dark, but it's still fun. I don't know where Maria and Kyle are, but even alone I’m having the best night of my life.

"What’re you doing here alone?" I hear a male voice behind me. I turn around to see him, but my sight is a bit blurry. It does look like Sorenson. Ah, Sorenson, I like him so much.

"Nothing particular."

"Where’s your friend?" he asks me.

"Maria’s somewhere with Kyle," I answer him. "Why do you ask?"

"Well, then if you want, we can have a little fun." Fun? Of course I want to have fun with him. I like him, he’s so perfect for me.

"Yes, let's dance."

"Fine, we’ll dance," he tells me and helps me get up. Then, supported by him, we walk to the nearby gym. Oh, he wants to be alone with me. He’s so cute and adorable.

"Let's dance!" I shout and he grabs my hands and pushes me on one of the mattresses in the hall that we use for exercises.

"I have a better idea!" he tells me and I’m wondering what he has in mind.

I hear a noise and see that he’s unzipping his pants. What is he doing? He then starts to take off my skirt. What is happening here? Finally I can see clearly who it is. I look in his eyes and I feel my soul filling with terror. Besides me is sitting Kivar, the physical education teacher. He touches my bare legs and I start screaming, but no one is coming to help me.

"There’s no one here. There’s no need to yell." He laughs at me.

God, please help me! I have to stop this. Give me strength to escape this, please. I feel my blood is boiling and I’ve sobered up in less than a minute. I need to run, but I can't, because he’s holds me really tight with his right hand. The next thing I see is his cock close to me. I want to push him away, but he’s really heavy and I’m unable to do it. Please someone help me. I continue yelling, but no one appears. The next thing I feel is his cock inside me. It hurts so much. I don't want this. I don't want this. I try to escape, but I can't. I feel so powerless. With every thrust, he comes deeper in me and I feel more pain. I can't do anything. He’s inside me and I can't escape. Ten minutes later he finishes and I feel used and filthy. I can't talk, I can't yell. The only thing I can do is cry.

"Thanks for the pleasure, doll," he tells me, kiss me on the forehead and walks away.

I’m lying on the ground crying and wondering why the hell this happened to me.

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Re: To hit the rock bottom (UC/CC, Adult, Pt.5, 11/12/2011)

Post by secretk » Sun Dec 11, 2011 3:39 am

Thanks for the feedback, girls. I really appreciate it.

nibbles2: Yes, it is awful.

keepsmiling7: Yes, one of the question is this second chance will help Max and Jessie. You'll have to wait and see. Some appreciate opportunities like that and others just don't. What happened to Isabel is indeed awful and I agree with you - no one deserves this. Unfortunately there was nobody there to help her.

Alien_Friend: Yes, it's sad and horrible. I agree that Kyle should've helped her, but I also should say that Kyle is a teen like all of them. He didn't do this on purpose. He and Isabel are just not that big friends. He might be dating Maria, but he's not getting along with Isabel. I knew that you'll like Maria's reaction :wink: .

Before I post the next chapter, I want to explain something. I didn't add this rape scene, because I'm a bad person :wink: , who likes to see pain. I had other reasons. The first one is that actually this happened in the story that inspired me to write this fic. However I didn't like quite the way this story was handled there, so I changed the way I prefer it.

The second and more important reason is that unfortunately I had a classmate in highschool that was raped about that age. We weren't best friends, but still we were part of the same friendsgroup. We didn't know what to do and how to help her. She wanted space and we gave it to her and she has never been the same. She just drifted apart from us. We still see each other with the rest, but she doesn't want to see us. I'm not blaming her, probably we remind her about this period of time. I just hope that she's OK now and happy.

However we learned something then. Well, actually more than one things. The first thing that we learned is that it's not that easy to prove rape and convict the criminal. In her case that never happened, because that idiot threatened to hurt her brother. The second I learned is that I hate some people in general. See her 'friends' who were with her that night, didn't believe her, because the rapist was their friend too. So, one night I'm at the birthday of my cousin and there is a girl that is mutual friend of this classmate and in the middle of the night she tells me that my classmate had lied that she was raped. The moment she said this I knew two things - she was raped and this girl is an idiot. How a girl, future woman can tell me that some other lied about something like that? You have to be really demented to say something like that. I was furious and I'm still while writing this.

Anyway I want to handle this situation differently, so that Isabel doesn't remain alone. And please don't hate me after this chapter, I know that it's getting worse, but I promise that after time Isabel will find the happiness.

Thanks a lot ArchAngel1973 for beta my story. I added the POVs in the beggining of the scene, so that it's easier to read.

Chapter 5


I don't know how long I have lain on the ground. When something like that happens to you, time is the last thing you care about. All I want is to close my eyes and make that feeling go away. I want to wake up and to realize that this was just a fucked up nightmare. I desperately pinch my arm in attempt to end this dream and I start crying again when I realize that this won't end, because that's what happened to me. Why? Why? Why are things messed up so bad? Why did Kivar do that to me? I need an answer and I don't know who to ask. I look around in the dark and the only thing I feel is emptiness. I fix my clothes, get up and I walk to the door. I can still hear music and people talking. I don't wanna see anyone. I just want to cry. I head slowly to the ladies' room, when I hear someone talking to my back.

"Isabel, are you okay?" Sorenson is asking me. I am sitting and wondering what I should do. Do I have to turn around and answer him? This way he will know that there is something wrong. If I don't tell him anything, it would be the same. I don't have a choice.

"Yes, I am fine." I answer trying to stay calm and to not let him see me. I fail, because I can't even speak without picturing Kivar and the pain that I felt when he was inside me.

He grabs my arms and turns me around.

"No, you are not. What happened?"

I don't know how to answer this question. I just look in his eyes and start crying.

"Isabel, tell me what's going on? Do you need something?" He asks me, but I stay there speechless. I don't wanna talk about it. I don't wanna think about it. I just want to close my eyes and make it go away. I continue crying and feel someone hug me. I open my eyes and see Maria holding me in her arms. God, girl, why the hell did we drink?

"Isabel, honey, are you okay?" she asks me.

"I ... just ... wanna ... go ... home." I answer slowly with a lot of interruptions. Maria hugs me again and she and Sorenson walk me home.

* * *

One month later


One month has passed since that teachers' party. One month! And I still can't forget Kivar and what happened to me. I wish I had never drunk that day. I would not allow him to do anything if I wasn't thinking that he was Sorenson. Or maybe I should have been a lot more drunk. That way I wouldn't remember every fucking second of his act. I wouldn't remember the pain and I wouldn't feel his scent on my skin. However this is not important now because I can't take it back. I can't even hide it anymore. For this past month I was able to avoid Maria's questions, but I guess that won't be possible now. What should I do? I need to talk to someone. And maybe that one is my mother. Yes, she will understand me. Right?

"Good morning, honey!" She tells me and kisses me on the cheek when I go to the kitchen for breakfast.

"Good morning, mom. Do you have some time?" I ask her and hope she’ll say 'Yes'. I need to talk to her and the sooner the better.

"No, honey. I am in a hurry. I need to go to work." Crap, I can't continue this way.

"Okay, we will talk tonight."

"I will be late. I will go to Victoria's house. With Clara being a mother at 17, she doesn't have a lot of time and we haven't seen each other for a long time. I can't believe that her daughter is so irresponsible. It is unforgivable to do that to her parents. To get pregnant at 16." She tells me and shakes her head in a sign of disapproval. I guess I can't talk to her.

"Yes, okay then, I have to go mom."

"Isabel, is everything all right?" She stops me and asks.

"Yes, I just miss our conversations as mother daughter. This past month we haven't had much time to do that. That's all."

"I know honey and I am sorry, but I don't have much time because of the job."

"I know, mom, don't worry."

I know that our situation is not that easy. Our dad died 2 years ago. Since then my mother struggles with bills and our education. I can't bear to put another burden on her shoulders. I have to find a way to deal my problem without her knowing about it.

* * *


I have been sitting here for the last 15 minutes trying to convince Kivar that I want to be part of the school's soccer team. He has this 'brilliant' idea that I should pass some math test, so that I am able to play. How the hell did he come up with such ridiculous idea? That's total absurd. I don't understand math. If I depend on that, then I will be never able to do what I want. And can someone explain to me how math is important? Why do I need it, when all I want is to play soccer? That's the fascinating thing. Math is just boring stuff for boring people.

"Please, don't make me do this!" I ask Kivar. "I am not good at math and I can't pass that exam."

"Sorry, boy!" He says to me and I can tell you that he doesn't care at all. "You can try for the soccer team only with a grade better than F on your math exam."

I hate him. Why is he trying to make me do something that I don't want? Doesn't he understand that he is stopping me from doing what I most like here in this school? Aren't they supposed to give me a chance to explore my interests and hobbies? I walk away. Kivar won't help me. I know him enough to see that. My other option is to talk with Sorenson. I find him in the school yard and head to him.

"Good afternoon, Mr. Sorenson, can I speak with you?"

"Sure, Max. What's up?"

"I just talked to Kivar and he told me that I can join the school soccer team if I pass the next math exam."

"So what is the problem?"

"Please talk to him and make him understand that I am not good at math."

"Max, I told him to tell you this."

"What?" I am confused. Why the hell did Sorenson convince him to do this? He is very aware that I can't pass that exam. Why he is stopping me?

"Yes, I did that."

"Why?" I raise my voice. "Why are you doing this? Playing soccer is one of the few things that I enjoy in my life. Why do you make it so difficult?"

"How bad do you want to join the team?" He asks me. What kind of game is that idiot playing? I want it. Is not that clear?

"What do you mean?"

"Is playing soccer something that you decided that you wanna do for real or something you just woke up one morning and decided that this might be fun?"

"What's that? I am allowed to play whatever I want. Isn’t that part of the education in this country? I thought that your job is to support the students to accomplish their goals. Well, I want that."

"No, Max, my job is not helping you reach your goals. My job is to give you enough information so that you can find your dream."

"Fine. That's the same!"

"No, it is not the same. Now, you are telling me that you like playing soccer. I guess that your goal right now is to join the soccer team. Now that's entirely up to you. What we can give you is a school soccer team and the opportunity to show your abilities."

"My abilities? How solving some stupid math equations might help me play soccer? There is nothing in common between math and soccer."

"True, but you can't expect that everything you will do in life makes sense. Besides people need to make sacrifices so that they can get what they want."

"So basically you are trying to show me that life is not easy. I have news for you, Mr. Sorenson. I know that better than you."

"Basically I am trying to tell you that soccer is good, but you need to learn other things in high school. One of them is math. I don't think that you are stupid, I just think that you are not motivated enough to study for your exam. In other words, if you want to play soccer, then study hard and pass the math exam." He tells me and walks away.

Son of a bitch! Who does he think he is? He can't do that to me. I am not good at math and no matter how hard I try I can't pass that exam. Fuck, I am screwed!

* * *


I had to wait for classes to be over so that I can speak with Maria. All that time I refused to tell her what happened that night at school, but I need help and she is my best friend, so I am sure that I can tell her the truth. I can't hide this secret forever. I look around the school yard. There are too many people and I need privacy.

"Maria, I need to talk to you!"

"Fine!" She says to me. "I can hear you."

"Not here. Let's go to the Garden of Eden!"

"Garden of Eden?" We don't go there very often because that's the place where Tess and her gang hang out. In fact she goes there only when she and Kyle want someplace quiet to make out.


"Are you sure?" She asks me. I know what she means, but after everything that happened with Kivar, I don't give a damn about Tess and her friends.

"Yes, come on!"

We walk 5 minutes and I am silent. I just can't find the courage to tell her. I am sure that she can feel that I am nervous because she looks me in the eye and asks me. "Are you okay? What's going on?"

"I have to tell you something."

"You already said that!"

I know Maria, but I am about to tell you something awful and I can't think right now about my vocabulary or the words I use. "Maria, I am ... I am ..." God why is it so difficult?

"What? Isabel what's going on?"

"You remember how you found me crying the night of the teacher's party?" I decide to start from the beginning. That might be easy and she will be more prepared when I drop the bomb.

"Of course I do. I have asked you since then what happened, but you don't wanna tell me. I know that something happened. I am not stupid."

"Yes, you are right. Something did happen that night and I am ... ready to tell you."

We sit on one of the benches there and I continue with my story.

"Maria, that night someone took advantage of me." She looks at me with wide eyes.

"What do you mean? How did he take advantage?"

"He ... he abused me ... sexually." Finally I am starting to reveal it.

"What?" She shrieks. "Someone raped you? Who was he? I swear I will kill him!"

Oh, Maria, you are so cute. I am starting to laugh hearing this. She is so feisty. "Maria, calm down!"

"Calm down? Are you insane? I can't do that. Tell me who he was!"

"I can't." I really can't. Kivar has warned me numerous times to not tell anyone what he did to me.

"You can't? Don't give me that crap!"

"Maria, I was so drunk and I don't remember who he was."

"Oh girl! I am so sorry!" Maria hugs me tight and wipes away my tears. She cries with me. That won't help me, chica.

"The problem is that I am ... I am pregnant, Maria!" There I said it. No matter how much time passes, I can't change it. I am expecting a child from that scumbag Kivar.

"What? No, no, that can't be true! Girl, please tell me that this is a joke."

"I wish it was, but it is not. I found out two days ago and I am terrified."

"Isabel, I don't know what to say you. I am so sorry. I wish that I could do something and make that pain to go away, but I can't."
* * *


I can't believe that something so horrible has happened to my best friend. I wonder who is the monster that did this to her. I want to kill him. No one deserves this - to lose her virginity to a loser that took advantage of her and as a result to be pregnant. Why does life have to be so difficult? Why? Isabel has enough problems, she doesn't need more.

"I need your help." She tells me.

"You should know that you can count on me for everything. How can I help you?"

"Come with me to the free clinic."

"The clinic? You want to confirm your pregnancy?"

"No, I want to fix this problem." She tells me.

To fix the problem? What is she planning to do?

"What do you mean?"

"I have to have an abortion."

Abortion? No, Isabel, you can’t just ask me to help you to do this. "Don't you think that it is too early to think about that? You should talk to someone."

"I am talking to you!"

"No, I mean some adult. You can't do this on your own, Isabel. You have to talk to your mother."

"No, no ... I can't do that to her. She will get sick if she knows it. I can't tell her that I got drunk. Don't you get it? It is my fault and I need to fix it."

Her fault? God, Isabel, how you can think that? "It is not your fault. It is the fault of the idiot that raped you."

"No, you don't understand. I was the one who got drunk, I was the one that let him do this to me. I am responsible for everything."

"Are you insane? I agree that we made a mistake. We shouldn't have drank tequila. That's as far as your guilt goes. The rest is on the one that decided to take advantage of you and to use you."

"That's not how my mother sees the things. Do you remember Clara, the girl that got pregnant last year?"

"Yes, I remember her."

"Just this morning my mother told me how irresponsible she was to get pregnant at 16."

"That's different. Clara wasn't drunk when she slept with that guy. No one forced her."

"So what? I got drunk because I wanted it. No one forced me. And see how funny that night was for me. Now I feel used and I am pregnant."

"No, no ... You can't be ashamed. That's not your fault. I am sure that your mother will understand."

"No! I can't and I won't tell her. With or without you I will have this abortion tomorrow after classes." She says to me and runs away for me.

"Isabel, Isabel!" I try to stop her, but she doesn't even turn around. She continues running and disappears from my sight.

God, Isabel, why did this happen to you? I have to help you. I don't know how, but I have to do something and I have to do it now.
* * *


I am sitting on our usual bench in the Garden of Eden. I am trying to find a way to join the soccer team. I know that I really want it, but how can I pass the math exam? I have only a week to study and I am sure that I can't do it on my own.

"What's up, dude?" Jessie interrupts my thoughts.

"Nothing. You know I want to play soccer in the school team."

"Yes, I do." He says and rolls his eyes. For the past few days all I talk about is how I will become some famous soccer player. I guess they are a little annoyed.

"Well, it turns out that I have to pass the math exam if I want to do it."

"What?" He is surprised just like I was hour ago.

"Yes, carnal." Carnal means friend in Spanish. Jessie taught me this word long time ago and we use it very often. "Sorenson’s trying to give me a lesson and show me how life is not easy. Go figures!"

"Fuck! We should teach him some manners!"

"Yeah, because the last time that really helped. No, leave it. I need to find a way to deal with this."

"How will you do that? You are so bad at math."

"I know. I will have to ask someone for help."

"Who would that be? The best in our class is Isabel and I doubt that she will help you."

"What? Dude, don't joke about this. She won't do anything for me. Well, maybe throw a party if I am dead or seriously injured."

"You have a point. She might do that."

"Well, well, look who we have here!" I hear Nicolas' voice and see him and some of the other guys from his gang. God, this can't be good.

"Hey, Nicolas!" I say with a smile on my face. I am trying to be casual.

"Don't hey me! I think that we have unfinished business with you two."

I look around and see the smiles on their faces. Nicolas claps with his hands calmly and I know what he wants. I have only one option… to run and that's what I am doing. I run without turning back. I hope that I can save myself.

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Re: To hit the rock bottom (UC/CC, Adult, Pt.6, 18/12/2011)

Post by secretk » Sun Dec 18, 2011 5:28 am

Thanks for the feedback, girls. I really appreciate it.

Alien_Friend: Well, it was inevitable. When you're in street gang, it's expected to get hurt at some point. Maria will try to help Isabel, but we'll see if this will work.

Yes, it was really sad and I'm sad that it happened to someone that I know, but unfortunately we couldn't do anything about this.

keepsmiling7: I think that we could say that Isabel hit the rock bottom. Although she was the last that someone would expect it. Sometimes the faith takes its own turn with its own twists.

Before you start reading the next chapter, I want to warn you something. There is violent scenes (revolving Max and Tess) in this chapter, so read them carefully. The second thing that I want to tell you is that I'm not against abortion or something, I just think that Isabel should know what is the procedure. I'm not a doctor, so the information might not be 100 % accurate, I used internet sources.

Thanks to ArchAngel1973 for beta'ing my story. I will not update for the next two weeks, because of the holidays. So have a good time in the holidays from me!

Chapter 6


"Hello, Ms. Topolsky, can I speak with you?"

I know that you are asking what I am doing here. Well, I have to help Isabel and the only thing that I came up with is to talk with the school psychologist Kathleen Topolsky. So here I am - in her office starting one of the hardest conversations in my life. Enough about me. I am sure that it is a lot harder for Isabel.

"Sure, Maria. What's up?"

"Well, I have a friend that has problem." I want to hear her opinion before telling her that it is about Isabel.

"Okay, what is the problem?" She asks me and motions for me to sit on the other chair in her office.

"Well, she is pregnant." I say with tears.

"What?" She raises her voice. Now I see how her mother might react at that kind of news - about 1000 times worse.

"Yes, and she is considering abortion and I don't know if that's what's best for her."

"How old is she?" She asks me.

"The same age as me."

"She needs to talk to her parents. I am sure that they will help her and will support her no matter what decision she makes."

"That's the problem. She doesn't want to talk to her mother and she plans on doing this on her own. I am afraid for her."

"Maria, calm down! Let me ask you something. Is she studying here?" Well, she kind of connected the dots.

"Yes." I answer short and clearly.

"Who is she?" She asks me, but I am not sure what to answer. Granted I came here because I wanted to help Isabel. On second thought, should I tell Topolsky the truth? After all this is Isabel's secret and maybe it is not my place to reveal it. What if she gets angry? I don't know what to do. On the other hand my best friend is confused and she needs help. That's why I came here. Yes, I should tell Topolsky the truth. That way we can stop Isabel from doing something that she will regret all her life.

"Maria! I asked you something!" Topolsky interrupts my internal conversation with myself.

"Yes! The girl is ... Isabel." There I said it.

"Oh my God. I can't believe this. She is so responsible. How did this happen?"

"Well, she was raped." I told her about the pregnancy, so there is no problem with telling her the whole story. Right? Besides she needs some help. Isabel is blaming herself and that's so not right.

"What? This is more serious that I thought. Maria, don't worry! I will talk to her tomorrow."

"You better do that, because she is planning to go to the free clinic tomorrow after classes."

She comes to me and places her hand on my shoulder. "Don't worry, Maria. I will help her!"

* * *


I will tell you something and I hope that you will remember it well. When you do something, you should be prepared for the consequences. When Nicolas offered me a chance to join his gang I was 16 years old and all I was thinking was how cool it would be to be part of that. I wanted desperately to have the chance to do the things the way I wanted. I knew that if I had a problem the gang would help me to deal with it. How did we do this? Well, we use the world's oldest tactic - violence. You have no idea what people are capable of doing when they are threatened that they or their loved ones might get hurt. The problem is that I didn't consider the fact that at some point I might want to get out of the gang. Well, Nicolas told me clearly that I won't be allowed to do that. One year ago I didn't care because I have never thought that I might want something different. It was cool to be strong, because you have a group of people behind you. Well, the bad thing is that they weren't my friends, but Nicolas's. So now the same group of people is after me. Jessie and I ran away from them, but they followed us. At some point we separated. I don't know how, but when I looked around 2 minutes ago Jessie wasn't after me. Unfortunately I have no time to stop. I hope that he is okay and that they didn't get to him. I see there are still a bunch of them after me. One of them is Nicolas. I continue running and see a park on the one side of the street. I decide to go through it, but I tripped over a big stone. I try to get up, but one of Nicolas's friends stops me and pulls both hands behind my back.

"Well, well, I guess we can say that our deal is over!" I hear Nicolas laughing. He comes closer to me and punches me in the stomach. I kneel down because of the pain.

"What do you want?" I manage to ask.

"You can't run from me! You owe me money and I want it back." He tells me.

"I don't have it right now! Please give me some time."

"I want it by tomorrow!" He tells me. Then he pulls a razor from his pocket, grabs my face and makes a little cut near my left eye.

"Otherwise, the next time I will be more precise and you will lose eye. Am I clear?"

"Yes." I answer hoping that he will leave me alone. And he walks away, but he leaves his friends with me. They punch me several times in the stomach and kick me in the back. Then they leave me lying on the ground. I guess I know now how Sorenson felt.

I look around. There are a lot of people on the streets who can see me, but no one is willing to help me. They all think that they don't need to be concerned because that's normal for a neighborhood like this. And as long as it doesn't happen to them, they won’t even try to help me. Who am I? If you ask them, I am a troublemaker who got what he deserves. Are they right? Probably yes. I have no other choice, except to do this on my own, like everything else in my life.

* * *


I come home after boring day at school. I unlock the door and see Ed in the hall watching TV and eating popcorn. I head to the stairs hoping that he is too busy to notice me. I am not in the mood to talk to him. Besides my mother is not here. She is working in the supermarket till 10 this evening.

"Where are you going, little miss?" He asks me. Well, I guess my wish won't come true. He heard me.

"In my room. Why? Is it forbidden?" I answer him harshly and move one step further.

"Stop! I did not say that you can go!" Who is he to tell me what to do?


"You have to make me dinner. Your mother is at work till late and I am hungry."

"Do it on your own! I am not your servant."

He comes near me and tells me. "You will make it or you will regret it!"

"Fuck you!" I tell him and start running to my room, but he follows me. I reach my room and try to lock the door, so that he can't enter, but before I was able to do it, he was in front of me.

"Now, I will teach you some manners." He tells me, raises his right hand and slaps me across the face with all his strength. I fall on the floor and he kicks me. Then he unhooks his belt and I know what is next. He will use it for flogging. I close my eyes and prepare myself for the first strike. I grab the leg of the nearest chair so that I can bear the pain. He continues hitting me and I am just waiting for it to stop. I know that crying won't help me. No one is here. My mother is at work and the neighbors can't hear me.

"Now, go and make my dinner!" He finally stops flogging and commands me.

Why? Why the hell does my mother want to live with him? What does she see in this monster? I have no time to cry, I have to do what he wants. Otherwise there will be another turn and I am just not sure how much I can bear today.

* * *


As I expected no one bothered to help me. I don't blame them, no one is obligated to do anything for me. I expect help only from my best friends. Speaking of them we are here in the pool hall playing pool. Well, more like Kyle and Jessie are playing and I am watching them. I am not able to play because of my injuries. I shouldn't be here, but I live alone and I was bored. I needed to distract myself from thinking about my problems with Nicolas.

"Hey, guys!" I hear Tess's voice. She kisses me on the cheek, then she does the same with Jessie and Kyle and finally she sits near me.

"Max, what happened to your face?" She asks me.

"Nicolas!" I answer and shrug my arms.

"Fuck! Why the hell did he do this?"

"I owe him money and it was his way of reminding me."

"Can you pay him?"

"No." I say and drink my beer. "I don't have enough and my father was sick half of the month so he didn't earn enough money to send me."

"But your stepmother works too."

"Yes, but she does not get that much. Besides all her money goes for Harrison."

"Ah yes, Harrison. How is your little brother?"

"I have no idea. I haven't heard from him in the last month." I answer and try to remember when was the last time I spoke to my 4-year-old brother.

"How much do you owe?" She asks me.

"About 2000 dollars."

"What?" she shrieks. "That's a lot. What are you planning to do?"

"I have no idea!"

"Hey, what's up with you two?" Kyle and Jessie join us.

"Nothing. We are talking about Nicolas and the money that Max owes him."

"Well, dude, I told you that you shouldn't have cut that deal with Topolsky."

"What do you mean, Jessie?" I ask him.

"Well instead of wasting your time in school, you can work. Or better yet, we might have still been in Nicolas's gang and he wouldn't be threatening you."

"No, no, Jessie. Max was right. Going to school is not that bad." Kyle tries to defend me.

"You shut up, man! No one has asked you!" Jessie snaps at him.

"Boys, boys, no need to fight. What we need to do is to find the money."

"Sorry, dude. I can't help you. My father is sick and I work instead of him in the fabric shop, but I earn nothing. It barely covers the bills and the food for my family." Jessie tells me. I know that his situation is no easier than mine.

"Don't worry, dude! We'll think of something!" Kyle tells me and pats me on the shoulder.

"Yes, Max. Don't worry. We won't allow anything to happen to you." Tess assures me and hugs me tight.

I wish I could be that positive, but I can't. I don't have the money and I won’t get it until the end of the week and he wants it by tomorrow. I guess I will have to face Nicolas and his friends for a second time and I am sure that it will be uglier than what happened today. I can't blame anyone, I am the guilty one. I decided to be in his gang and I asked him for money, so now I guess it is time to pay the price.

* * *


"Kyle, thank for your offer to walk me home!" I tell him.

"No problem, Tess. I don’t live that far away from you. Besides right now the important thing is to protect Max. We don't know when Nicolas might attack him again and it was best for Jessie to go with him."

"I agree. We have to find a way to help him."

"I know, but how? How much does he owe?" He stops walking and asks me.

"2000 dollars."

"What? That's a lot. I might have some savings, but they won't cover that."

"How much do you have?" Whatever he has is better than nothing.

"About 400."

"Are you willing to lend me money?"

"Sure, but it’s not enough."

"I have some savings too. We have tomorrow to gather the rest and we have to do it. Otherwise Max might be not alive."

"Don't say that!" He tries to calm me down and hugs me. I tremble at being so close to him. I wonder why my body reacts that way.

"Nicolas and his gang are dangerous. We have to help him."

"Max is lucky to have a friend like you." He tells me with a wide smile on his face and looks me directly in my eyes.

"Well, yeah, he has done a lot of things for me and I have to return the favor." He touches me on the back and I walk away because he just reminded me of my fresh wounds.

"What's going on? Are you okay?" He asks me.

"Yes, I am fine. I am just in a hurry." I answer and start walking faster.

"Tess, can I ask you something?" Oh no, why does he have to do this?

"Yes. What's up?"

"Well, see, Maria told me something some time ago and I wonder if it is true." Oh, the stupid bitch Maria and her gossips. I hate her as almost as much I hate Isabel.

"Well, knowing your girlfriend, I am sure that it's not true." I answer him abruptly and walk even faster than a minute ago.

"Tess, don't do this! Don't shut yourself off whenever I try to find something out about you. I want to be your friend!"

"I don't need you." I tell him harshly. Only Max and Jessie know about Ed and I prefer it to stay that way.

"Please, Tess. Don't be like this. You can trust me!" He tries to convince me. I try to walk away, but he stops me. God, why is he watching me this way? I can't resist that look. One minute more and I will crack in front of him. No, I can't do that.

"Kyle, just leave it that way. I think that you shouldn't talk that much with me. Maria will probably get jealous."

"What? No, Maria knows perfectly well that we are just friends. Tess, please tell me the truth. Is it true that your stepfather abuses you?"

I push him away and run from him before he notices the tears in my eyes. Yes, it is true, but I can't tell him that. I can't tell people that my mother does not give a shit that the man she loves beats me up. I guess she loves him more than me.

* * *


Last night I even didn't want to eat. I try to avoid my mother and Michael. I can't look in their eyes and lie. Thank God that today everything will be over. After school I will go to the free clinic and will have an abortion. That's my best option. I can't be a mother at this age. Besides I can't do that to my family. I made a mistake and I have to take care of it. I can't expect them to help me. My mother will have a nervous breakdown if she finds out that I'm pregnant. No, no ... the abortion is my only option.

"Isabel, can I talk you?" I hear Topolsky's voice. What's going on? I haven't done anything wrong.

"Sure. What's up?" I ask nervously as I enter her office and sit down on one of the chairs.

"Look, we have to talk about something serious." About what?

"Fine. I am listening."

"I talked to Maria and she told me that you ..." Maria? I can't believe that she did that. I don't even wait for Topolsky to end her sentence.

"That I am pregnant. I can't believe that she did that. This was my secret!"

"Isabel, she did that for your own good. This is a difficult situation and you need to talk to someone."

"It's not that difficult. I made up my mind. I will have an abortion."

"Are you sure? Did you talk to your mother?"

"No, I didn't and I don't need to. I will go today to the free clinic and fix the problem."

"Isabel, it is not that easy." She tells me, but I don't want to listen to her.

"Look, you can't change my mind. Do me a favor! Don't try to tell me what to do. Now if you will excuse me, I need to speak with Maria and explain to her what the definition of best friend is, because apparently she has forgotten it." I answer, get up and open the door.

"Fine. It is your decision, but let me ask you something. Do you know what abortion is? Do you know the procedure? Do you know what the side effects are?"

"Everyone knows what abortion is." Right?

"Well, then, let's hear it. What is the procedure?"

"I guess ... they just remove ... what is unnecessary." I don't know what exactly the procedure is, but I guess that's about it. Right?

"What is unnecessary? Do you refer to your child as something unnecessary?" My child? I have never thought about that. There is something, more like someone in my abdomen and it is my child.

"No, I didn't mean that. I mean they will remove the fetus."

"Yes, that's abortion. Do you know how they will do it?"

"No. I am not a doctor. Besides I don't need that." I say and try to open the door, but she grabs my hand and stops me.

"You are going to do that to yourself, so I think that you should know it. Let me tell you. There are two approaches for abortion - MVA or Manual Vacuum aspiration and EVA or Electric Vacuum Aspiration. Both of them remove the fetus or embryo, the placenta and membranes by suction, but the first one uses a syringe, while the second one uses an electric pump." God does she need to be so graphic? It makes me sick. How awful! But I have to do it, I have no other choice.

"Well, thank you for your explanation. Now can I go?"

"No!" She tells me, determined to convince me to not do it.

"What else?"

"You need to know all the risks that you take. In some situations you can have bladder injury. If your uterus is perforated, your urinary bladder can be perforated. That might lead to peritonitis. It is treatable, but you will need an additional surgery. If your uterus is perforated, then your intestines can be perforated too. If it is not treated quickly enough, it might cause death, so you need to be very careful. The symptoms are nausea, vomiting, abdominal pain, fever. If you don’t react in time, a temporary or permanent colostomy may be put in your abdomen. There is also a risk of Ectopic (Tubal) Pregnancy. This is any pregnancy that occurs outside the uterus. If it is not discovered in time, you can bleed to death. An abortion might lead to risks for future pregnancies. It is more likely to bleed in the first three months. You will be less likely to have a normal delivery. In really rare cases an improper abortion might cause an infection that might lead to death. It also might lead to sterility or severe and rapid bleeding. You also need to know that the abortion is much more dangerous for young girls. Do you understand all I said?"

"Yes." That was all I said. God, I didn't know that there are so many risks. What if something happens to me?

"So are you still sure that you want to have an abortion?" Do I want it?

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Re: To hit the rock bottom (UC/CC, Adult, Pt.7, 8/1/2012)

Post by secretk » Sun Jan 08, 2012 3:52 am

Hello all, Happy new Year to all. I hope you had good time during the holidays. Thanks for your feedback.

nibbles2 : I get what you mean. The problem is that unfortunately I'm not sure if there is right thing to do in this type of situation. Maria indeed tried to help Isabel, that however doesn't mean that she was able to do it.

As far as Topolsky goes - she didn't focus on the rape for a reason. See, when my friend was raped, I knew the truth from someone else. And I asked myself what should I do. That's something very personal, I couldn't just go there and tell her that I know, because she didn't want everyone to know. So Topolsky waits for the moment where Isabel is ready to tell people that she was raped.

Topolsky didn't tell Isabel to not do abortion, she just told her the truth, because that's the only way for Isabel to tell someone adult that she's planning to have an abortion. Isabel tends to deal with her problems on her own, unless she's really scared. Then she'll go talk to someone.

keepsmiling7 : Yeah, those young people have real serious problems and it's quite difficult to deal on their own. They need friends, family and all the support someone can give them.

Alien_Friend : Yeah, it's not easy for Isabel. She focused on abortion for two reasons - first she needs to make a decision, because she has only 2 months to decide for abortion. Second, thinking about abortion makes her not focus on the rape situation. Sometimes people deliberately avoid thinking about the things that hurt them the most.

Yeah, the problem for Tess is that her own mother doesn't see this, so she's not expecting help from somewhere else, when the person that you would expect to help her, don't do it.

Yeah, Nicolas is a sneaky bastard :lol: , he might want more than Max's money. Soon you'll find out what he wants exactly.

As usual thanks to ArchAngel1973 for beta'ing my story.
Chapter 7

I am sitting in the school yard waiting for Kyle. If someone has asked me some days ago if I would have to depend on him, I would have laughed. But now I don't have any other choice. We need to collect money for Max and every bit of help is welcome. As I am considering my strategy, I hear his voice.


"Don't hello me. Give me the money."

"Hey! I am trying to help you! Don't be so rude!" Well, technically he is right. He is trying to help me and Max and he is not obligated to do it.

"Sorry! It's just that I am nervous. I don't know how I will manage to find so much money."

"Yeah, it is understandable. Here, as promised 400 bucks."

"Thanks a lot. I am sure that Max will be grateful."

"So how much do you have?"

"Well, my savings are 500."

"Crap, that's not enough. How the hell we will find 1100?"

"I have no idea. I have some things that I might sell."

"Are you sure? I mean are you willing to do that for Max?"

"Sure. He would do the same thing for me." I know that you are questioning my wish to help him, but you don't know him the way I do. Max is like my big brother. He has helped me a lot, when I needed it and I am sure that if I had a problem, he would risk everything to help me. We are not just best friends, we are family.

"Well, then I can help you."

"What?" Yeah, what? I can't allow Kyle to do this. Max has never done anything for him. Granted, he treats him well, not like Jessie, but still.

"Well, what are friends for?"

"But you and Max are not friends."

"I want to be your friend and that's enough. You have a problem, I will help you."

"You don't need to do this. I mean what you already did is enough."

"If it was enough, we would have the money. Come on, let me help you. You let Max, why don't you do the same thing for me?"

"It's different. Max is different." Yeah, he is. I see him only as a brother, nothing more. With Kyle, I am not that sure. I used to think that he is just a cute boy in my class, but after last night I can't stop thinking about him. I can't understand why my body reacted that way when I was near him. I don't know what's happening to me.

"Oh come on! You don't know me well enough to say that I'm different. Look, I offered my help and we both know that you need it. So here is what we'll do. We try to sell all we can and we'll see how much we get. Right?"

"Kyle, really, thank you very much for your help. Max and I appreciate it."

"Don't worry. So how do we do it? After school?"

"No, we wouldn't have enough time. We'll skip school."

"Are you sure?"

"Look if you don't want to do it, fine. I will do it on my own." I say and head to the exit, but his voice stops me.

"No, wait. I will come with you. I was just checking to make sure this is what you want."
* * *

I'm sitting at class waiting for someone that I can actually stand. Don't get me wrong, but I can't be friends with all of my class. I have a best friend here and a boyfriend. I used to think that was more than enough, but I guess it's not. Right now neither of them is here. I saw Kyle with Tess and I really wanted to interrupt their sweet conversation, but I was able to stop myself. I don't wanna show that bitch that I can be weak. No, no. If she sees me jealous, she will be happy. I have to use another tactic. Confronting Tess won't help me. That bitch likes to do what people are telling her no to do. I will talk to Kyle.

"Who do you think you are?" My thoughts are interrupted by Isabel's yelling towards me. Okay, let me check something. Am I dreaming or what? Yesterday we were friends.

"Isabel, calm down. Everyone is staring at us."

"Don't tell me what to do. Why did you go to Topolsky? How you can do that to me?"

"Isabel, I was just trying to help you!"

"No, Maria. You were just the usual gossip girl. I can't believe that I thought that I can trust you with my secrets."

"Whoa. Isabel, relax! Let me explain!"

"Explain what?" She shrieks and leaves the room. I follow her to the ladies' room.

"Well, if you shut up for a moment, I might tell you my reasons."

"So now I am guilty? Fuck you, Maria!" She tells me, enters one of the stalls and leaves me hanging there.

"You know what? If you think that being your friend means to support you in whatever stupidity you decide to do, then I won't be your friend. I am trying to stop you from making a mistake and all you can say to me is 'Fuck you'? No, girl. Fuck you! Go there and risk your life. Don't tell your mother. Don't ask for help! If you want to bang your head against the wall, then I won't stop you. Do whatever you want!" I yell and wonder if I should leave her alone. I know that's what she wants, but I can't do it. I can't leave her alone. She is my best friend and I know that she needs me. I hear the door open and see Isabel.

"Maria. I'm sorry. I'm so confused. I don't know what to do. I just ..."

"Do you think that I don't know this? That is why I told Topolsky. Girl, you need to talk to your mother. Together you can decide what to do."

"My mother will freak out! I can't do that to her!"

"Isabel, the damage is already done. Right now you need her support and help. Believe me, she would prefer to know it now. No matter what she has said to you, she is your mother and she will be besides you."

"Are you sure?" Am I sure? Hell no, I am not. I am worried just as she is, but Isabel doesn't need to hear it. I just hope that her mother will help her the best way she can.

"Yes, I am." I answer and hug her. "Come on! Let's go! We have classes to attend."

We go to the room and I see that Tess and Kyle are missing. Jessie is not here as usual, while surprisingly Max is in class and if I didn't know him better, I would think that he is actually paying attention to what Sorenson is saying.

* * *

I am scared as hell to talk to my mother, but Maria is right. I need some help. Even if I go through with the abortion, I will need some help and if my family knows what I am doing, it would be the best for me. I am in the ladies' room preparing for my physical education class. This last month those classes are one of the most horrible hours in my life. Every time I see Kivar, it reminds me of what happened at that teacher's party and the way he acts around me doesn't help me at all. I head to the class and see him. God, help me!

"Well, well, isn't that Isabel Guerin?"

"Good afternoon, Mr. Kivar!" Yeah, I am still a student here and have to respect him. I hate that. I hate it, but I can't do much about it. His word against mine. Who will believe me?

"It could be better!" He tells me and kisses my forehead. Ungh, I can't stand him.

"Don't touch me!" I say to him and pull away, but he grabs my hand and whispers in my ear.

"Don't tempt me, girl! You know that I can do much more than kiss you."

"You won't do it. I won't let you!"

"Yeah, how you will stop me? Like the last time? Don't be ridiculous. You know that I can do whatever I want with you."

"No! Try it again and I will press charges!"

"Like anyone would believe you. Drunken student against respected teacher. Keep your mouth shut or I will remind how good it was the last time." With that he walks away leaving me to shiver. God, why do I need to see him every fucking day?

"Isabel, is everything all right?" I hear Maria's voice.

"Yes. We were just discussing my grades."

"Your grades?" Fuck, she knows that I don't have a problem with this class. I have good grades.

"Well not exactly."

"Not exactly?"

"You know that I am not that good in basketball ..."

"Still, better than me ..." She interrupts me and rolls her eyes.

"So I asked him to help me."

Whew. I was able to avoid her questions. She still seems a bit worried. I don't know maybe she doesn't believe me completely. I hope this won't cause me problems. I have enough already.
* * *


I am coming back from work, when I see my dad sitting on the couch watching TV. I know that his back was hurt and he can't work right now, but that doesn't mean that I want to work. I hate that. I prefer to go to school instead of doing this job. And I pretty much don't like the school.

"How was work, Jessie?" He asks me.

"Exhausting!" I answer and head to the kitchen in an attempt to find something to eat. As I expected there is nothing left except some bread. Same as the last three nights I will eat just bread for dinner. Thank God we have salt, so I can make my dish a bit tastier.

"Don't complain! I work that hard all the time!"

"Yes, I know."

"When will they pay you?" Yeah, I know everyone is interested to know when we will have money. My mother and my brother want to know that too.

"I don't know. On Friday or maybe Monday next week." I shrug my shoulders.

"Good, good. How much will they pay you?" The next important thing is how much money we will have. I can't blame him.

"I don't know. It depends ..."

"On what?"

"You know that I go to school. These last few days I haven't been and if I continue this way, I will be expelled."

"That doesn't matter. As long as you bring money into the house. Going to school is a waste of time."

"I can't do that. I promised that I would go to school." Well, technically Max promised and I wasn't thrilled, but school gives me a reason for not working.

"You promised?" He gets up from the couch, comes near me and asks me, frustrated.


"To who?"

"Topolsky." I murmur.

"Come again!" Of course he didn't understand me.

"Kathleen Topolsky, the school psychologist."

"Tell her to mind her own business. I won't let you waste your time at school, when you can work."

And with that he returns to the sofa and continues watching TV. I guess I just lost my chance to convince him to let me go to school and let me off the hook. I don't want to work, but that's the only way to bring home money. Or maybe it isn't the only way. If I speak to Nicolas, I might convince him to initiate me back into his gang. I really need the money and they can help me find it without torturing myself with work.
* * *

Tess and I spent the whole day selling old and unused stuff that we don't need any more. It was pretty exhausting to convince the people and to argue with them about the price, but I think that we have made progress.

"So how much you have?" She asks me. I count the money for the fifth time in the last 30 minutes. I want to be sure, I don't want to disappoint her. Sometimes I wonder why I bother.

"About 500 bucks."


"400. Damn, still not enough!"

"Well, we are only missing 200. Right?"

"Yes and that's not good."

"Oh come on! 200 bucks who would care?" Right? It is not that much.

"You don't understand. Nicolas wants all his money. He is looking for a reason to hurt Max and this will be enough for him."

"Why would he want to hurt Max?" I'm sorry, but I don't get it. Why does he attack Max and not Jessie? You would think that he would treat them equally.

"Because Max was like his brother. You know, he trusted him. And you can imagine the feeling when someone betrays you." Yes, I can. The way she says it tells me that she knows that feeling very well. Who has betrayed her? I guess I will have to write down that question, because now it is not the right time to ask her.

"He didn't betray him."

"Look in that business you are either with him or against him. Since Max is not part of the gang ..."

"He is his enemy." I complete her thought.


"And Jessie?"

"Jessie joined the gang because of Max. He introduced him to Nicolas. So if Max is back, it is pretty much certain that Jessie will be too."

"I see." Wow, these boys have serious problems. I have to be happy that I am not in his place. That won't be good. "How about we talk to Max? He might find the missing 200 bucks."

"Yeah, we will have to do it. Ok, give me your money."


"Give me your money and I will go to Max's place." To leave her alone? Somehow I’m not comfortable doing that.

"No, I’ll go with you."


"You heard me. We started this together and we will finish it together."

"Thanks for everything, Kyle. I really appreciate it."

"Don't mention it!" I can't explain why, but I am happy that she finally notices me.

Why do I care? I have a girlfriend and it should be enough for me if she does it. I guess I'm just happy to have one more friend. It must be that. Right? It can't be anything else.

* * *

It is 17:00 o'clock and I am going home. Why do I come home that late? I was walking the streets all afternoon wondering what to do. Should I tell mom about the pregnancy? Should I tell her about the violation? I know for a fact that I can't mention Kivar. Should I tell her that I was drunk? So many questions and I don't know what to do. Maybe Maria and Topolsky are right. I need to tell my mother what's going on. Together we can find the best solution for me and my family. Yes, that's what I have to do. I enter the house and see my brother watching a soccer game again. I swear that's all he does. I wait till dinner is over and decide that now is the best time to spill the truth. I don't know how they will react, but I guess it won't be good. I doubt that my mother will say 'Great. Fantastic. I am going to be grandmother'. Whatever it is, I have to face it. I will tell them the truth for once and then we will find a way together. Right? Maria, I hope you are right. I need you right now. I really want you to be beside me. I sigh and go to the kitchen to help my mother do the dishes. Soon we finish and I am just starting the most important conversation in my life so far.

"Mom, I need to talk to you."

"I have some work, honey. I have to do the laundry and ..."

"Mom, it's important." I can't postpone it anymore. I need to tell her or I’ll explode and it won't be pretty.

"Okay, honey. What's up? I am starting to getting worried."

"I need to talk to you and Michael." He deserves to know that he might be an uncle in the near future.

"Honey, what's going on?" She asks me while following me to the hall to join Michael.

"Let's sit and talk!" They both stare at me and I am sensing that 5 minutes from now they will consider the different ways of killing me efficiently.

"What's going on here? I was watching the soccer game." Oh, yes, Michael. Your soccer game is so important. You can't imagine. People do have problems in the real world. You would know if you got your head out of your ass. I know that this is hard, but still it is worth the try. Anyway. Where was I?

"I need to talk to both of you."

"Can it wait?" Seriously, Michael, can you shut up?

"No, it can't! Shut up and switch off the TV!" I know that I shouldn't act that way, but he is making me crazy with all his stupid questions.

"Whoa, who the hell do you think you are? You can't tell me what to do. I'm not interested in your problems, so fuck off and let me watch the soccer game."

"Enough! Both of you!" Mom yells and switches off the TV. "Now, Isabel, we are listening. What is the problem?"

What is the problem? The problem is that I got drunk one month ago and I didn't know what I was doing. As a result the fucking teacher of physical education, namely Kivar, took advantage of me. In other words he raped me. And now I'm pregnant. No wait! I can't tell that. So what is it gonna be?

"Isabel, we are waiting!" I hear Michael's voice and I couldn't care less. I take a deep breath and sigh loudly. Okay, now is the time. I am going to spill it.

"Mom, Michael ..." I start, looking both of them closely "... I'm pregnant".

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Re: To hit the rock bottom (UC/CC, Adult, Pt.7, 8/1/2012)

Post by secretk » Sun Jan 15, 2012 8:52 am

keepsmiling7: Yeah, Isabel indeed needed to tell her family about the pregnancy. Well, sometimes we need cliffs :wink: . You'll find out in this part what is their reaction.

Alien_Friend: Isabel made the first step, but she's still not ready to talk about the rape.

Kyle had the possibility to learn a lot about Tess and her friends and to see them the way she sees them.

It's not that easy for Jessie. In stories like this there is more than just don't like school. Unfortunately that makes him do dangerous and bad things.

Thanks for the wishes.

As usual thanks to ArchAngel1973 for beta'ing my story.

Chapter 8


After school I went directly home. I didn't want to take the chance of meeting Nicolas and his friends. Not that he doesn't know where I live, but at least here I am more secure. I don't have the money and I can't find it on such short notice. So I am waiting for what's to come. This is my mistake and I need to face the consequences. I hear knocking and get up to check carefully who is on the other side of the door. I come near the exit in an attempt to hear something, but whoever is there, doesn't speak. Well, I guess it's time to hear my death sentence. I open the door and look surprised at Tess and Kyle.

"What are you doing here?" I ask them. Not that I want to be rude or anything, but I don't think that it is safe for them to be here when I am waiting for Nicolas and his men.

"We are here to give you some good news." Tess answers me and gives me an envelope. I check its contents and I'm surprised to find money hidden there.

"Tess, what's this?" I ask her immediately.

"1800 bucks, dude!" Kyle answers me and slaps me on the shoulder.

"Yeah, we couldn't find more, so we hope that this will help you." Tess adds.

I just sit in the middle of my room, speechless. I don't know what to say. Just a few minutes ago I was sitting here waiting to be killed or seriously hurt and now I can see that there might still be a chance. I hug Tess tightly and kiss her on the cheek.

"Tess, you shouldn't have done this. I don't know what to say. I don't know how to thank you." I pull away from Tess and see Kyle sitting on the couch and realize what he has done for me. I come closer to him and shake his hand. "Thank you both! You are lifesaver!"

"Max, I know that you're thrilled, but that's still not enough!" Tess reminds me.

"I have some savings too. You know I wouldn't do it without you. I don't know how and when, but I promise you that I will give you back every cent that you've spent for me."

"Max, don't worry!" Tess tells me with a smile. "What are friends for? Besides I owed you that."

"No, Tess, this is too much and if I had another choice, I wouldn't accept your offer, but you know my life depends on this."

"Max, I still remember everything that you've done for me. You've never wanted anything in return, but now is the time to just say 'Thank you!'".

"Tess, Kyle, thanks a lot!" I say to them and hear knocking on the door. Well, I guess now it's time to face Nicolas. I open it and see him as expected with some of his friends from the gang.

"Well, well, what a reunion!" Nicolas tells me, smiling. "Are they supposed to protect you or are they here to call the ambulance when I'm done with you?"

"Neither!" Tess answers him and I pull her away. I know that Tess wants to help me, but pissing off Nicolas is not the right way.

"Here’s your money!" I tell him and give him 2000 bucks. I had 300 bucks saved for the month, I guess I now have only 100.

Nicolas takes it and starts counting. After a few seconds he shakes his head disapprovingly. "That's not enough!"

"What?" Tess and I ask at the same time.

"See, Max, since you are no longer my friend, there is interest. You now owe me 2500."

I see one of his friends come near Tess and the other covers Kyle. I know what this means. He wants his 500 bucks or there will be a fight. I have no time, I have to think quickly and I'm doing this. I look around the room and see the kitchen knife on the table. I grab it fast and come closer to Nicolas.

"Look, Nicolas. You either take what I have or there will be a fight and the way I see it this knife can do a lot more damage than your razor!"

"Max, you are too naïve. I have got a lot more than razor."

"Really?" I ask him and he smiles at me. "Then I guess it's about time to find who is faster. By the time you get your weapon, I will have put the knife in your stomach. Do you want to risk it?" I am usually not that brave, but it is a choice of life or death. I have no other option. Besides Kyle and Tess might get hurt too and I can't allow that. The best defense is a good offense. If he feels intimidated enough he won't do anything.

"Fine, boy! I will take the 2000 bucks, but I will return later for my 500!"

"No!" I tell him, putting the knife at his throat. "You get the 2000 and you'll forget that you know me."

"Maxie, you can't tell me what to do!"

"Really? The way I see it, right now I have the weapon, buddy. Don't forget that I know a lot about you and your gang. If you want to live on the streets and not in jail, you'll forget about me and my friends. Believe me, I know enough to put you there for long time."

"Well. And I thought we were friends. Is that how you show me your gratitude?"

"We stopped being friends the day you decided to attack me. Now you have two choices. We are either two old associates and we forget about each other or we are enemies. How do you wanna play it?"

He puts the money in his pocket, nods at his friends and they head to the exit. Before he leaves the room, he turns to me and says "This isn't over, Max! You will be in the gang again! I promise you this!"

With that he walks away and we are relieved.

"Oh my God, I thought those criminals would kill us." Kyle says and sits on the couch.

"Not now!" I tell him, but I know that this won't calm him down. Hell, I am not calm either. I know that this isn't over. Nicolas won't surrender that easily. However I didn't have any other choice.

"The important thing is that this is over!" Tess tries to lighten the conversation. Is it? I doubt it. That was just the first battle. We are just starting the war.

"Yeah!" I act like I agree with her and grab her hand.
* * *

"What?" My mother yells. "You are what?"

"My sister is not virgin anymore!" Michael laughs at me. "That's a joke! Right?"

I look him seriously. "No, that's not a joke. I'm pregnant!"

My mother snaps out of her shock and slaps me in the face. "I can't believe that you did this to our family. How many times have I warned you, Isabel? How many?"

I touch my red cheek with my hand and I lower my head. What should I tell her? I know that this is big mess, but I can't go back in time. I can't change what happened.

"I'm sorry, mom!"

"You're sorry? You're sorry? Isabel, sorry won't cut it. You are expecting a child. What are you planning to do?"

What am I planning to do? Mom, I didn't tell you this, so that you can yell at me. I want your support, your help. Instead all I get is yelling from my mother and laughter from my brother.

"Michael, stop laughing!" My mother snaps at him. "Go to your room! I need to talk to your sister in private!"

Michael tries to oppose my mother, but she gets even more pissed and after some hesitation he decides to leave us alone.

"I thought that I raised you well. I thought that you were responsible enough to not sleep around and on top of that, unprotected. Now, what do you plan to do? Make me and your brother raise your child? You were supposed to study, to work, to have a career, find a man that you love and then to have babies, not the other way around!"

"Well, I'm sorry mom that I disappointed you! I'm sorry that I didn't follow your perfect plan!" I yell at her. She didn't even bother to ask me how I got pregnant and I was worried what to tell her. I know that it's hard for her, but it's not that easy for me either.

"Isabel, don't talk to me that way! You made a mistake and now I'm the guilty one? What do you expect from me? I won't tell you how happy I am that I will be grandmother, because my 16-year-old daughter decided to have a child!"

"No, I don't expect you to be thrilled. I might be young, but I'm not stupid, nor delusional. I expected you to tell me 'Don't worry, Isabel. We will find a way out! Together, we can decide what to do!' But I guess you won't tell me that, because I'm supposed to take care of it!"

"Well, you got pregnant. That's your mistake, not mine!"

"Yes, mother, thanks for letting me know. You know what? Forget that I told you anything tonight. I will take care of it on my own." I tell her and lock myself in my room.

How the hell did this happen? Why did Kivar do this to me? Why? All I wanted was to have a little fun. I have always been the responsible child, straight A student, good citizen. It was one night, one small mistake and now I'm pregnant, because I was raped. Why is life so cruel? What I am supposed to do? My mother won't help me! That much I know. And now I am back at the beginning. I can't believe that this is happening to me. I can't believe that one small mistake might ruin my life, but I guess it just did. Sometimes the fun has its price. Mine was a bit too much to take.
* * *

After the confrontation with Nicolas and his friends, we decided that it's best if I walk Tess home. This neighborhood is dangerous and we don't want to risk it. She doesn't live that far from my place, so it's not that big a sacrifice.

"You know, I could tell that you and Max are very good friends." I tell her and she smiles at me.

"Well, yeah. Max is my best friend. He is like my older brother." She explains to me and I feel somehow relieved. I thought that she liked him. Why do I care? I have a girlfriend that I love. Right?

"Wow, some might say that you two have known each other since forever."

"Actually I met him two years ago for the first time. It was on the street."

"Really?" I'm surprised. I thought that they were childhood friends like me and Maria.

"Yeah. He had just gotten here and I was coming home late. Some boys attacked me and he rescued me. I swear I thought that they might hurt me."

"So, he practically saved your life?"

"Well, kind of. You know I have never trusted people. That's why I don't have other friends besides Max and Jessie."

"How did you start trusting Max? I mean he was some unknown boy that saved you, which is cool, but you have known me since the last year and still you won't let me be your friend."

"It's different. Max was some unknown boy, who had just come to this city, he had no place to live, he had no job, no school, no friends. Yet, he confronted a group of people just to save me. Who was I? Some girl from the streets. I know that most people see Max as a stupid criminal, but he is something else. He is loyal and noble. He wasn't in the gang for fun, he was there because he wanted to feel protected. Max helped me then and he taught me how to defend myself from those kinds of boys. It's hard to explain, but he is the kind of people that everyone would want as a friend."

"I don't know him that well, but I can say that he is nothing like Nicolas. I mean he wouldn't attack people for fun."

"Yeah, he wouldn't do that. He might do it for me or another friend, but not for fun. There is a reason why I trust him that much."

"I can see that!" I answer her and somehow I am jealous. I would love to hear her talking about me that way.

"Kyle, thanks a lot for what you did for Max. You weren't obligated to do it. You gave your savings for someone who isn't even your friend."

"Tess, it was about someone that I know. My life might be a bit easier with 500 bucks more, but it won't be better if I know that someone got hurt because I was selfish. I can live without the money, but I can't live with the idea that I put someone's life in danger. Besides Max is not a bad person. He didn't ask for the money for fun, he needed it so that he can pay his bills and buy food for himself."

I really mean that. I might be nothing like Max. I might not agree with his way of living, but he has his reasons. If he was some spoiled kid who wanted to make his life more interesting I wouldn't help him. We all know that is not the case. He is living alone, struggling between bills, family and now school. He deserves the chance to live like everyone else on this Earth. He wants to be out of the gang and if the money that I gave him is the price, then I'm willing to risk it. I can see that he wants to change for better and that's what is important here.

"Kyle, you are a good person! Thanks a lot! Max and I won't forget your help!" She tells me and kisses me on the cheek and I can tell you that I'm really thrilled. After that I see her entering her home and closing the door after her. Well, I guess I just put a hole in the wall that she's built. That's a start.
* * *

I wasn't able to sleep last night. My mother won't talk to me. My brother laughs at me every time he sees me. I guess Maria's advice didn't work. I mean I really need help. I just won't get it from my family.

"Hey, how are you?" Maria asks me the moment she sees me in the school yard and interrupts my thoughts.

"Fine, I've been better." I answer her.

"I know. How did it go with your mother?" She asks me, smiling. I guess she didn't expect that kind of a reaction from my family.

"Well, just like I expected it to go. My brother was the typical stupid jerk. My mother was too busy telling me how irresponsible I am instead of trying to help me."

"Oh, Isabel. I am so sorry, but you needed to tell them. Just give them some time. I'm sure that they will come around and will help you." She tries to comfort me and hugs me.

"I don’t know, Maria. You should've heard them. Michael was so busy watching his favorite soccer team, so that he didn’t wanted to be bothered. When I told him, he started laughing because he thought it was a joke."

"Well, you can’t blame them. I mean, don’t get me wrong, but no one expected that." Maria tries to make me see their point of view. I know that she is right, I know that they have point, but still this doesn't help me.

"I know that you are right, but I can't take it back. I am not allowed to make mistakes?"

"Hey, I am not saying that you are not. I am just trying to find sense in your brother’s behavior."

"Other than the fact that he is retarded?"

"Well, you know there must be a reason for that. Maybe your mother dropped him a lot when he was a baby?"

"Yeah, that might explain his attitude."

"And your mother?"

"She was like ‘How the hell did this happen?’"

"You can’t blame her either. I mean you have to understand her. She’s had her hopes that you will finish school and go to university. She’s always pictured you as some important lawyer. She didn’t expect you to be a mother at 17."

"I know, but I need her to be supportive and understanding. You know time passes and I haven’t decided what to do. Besides she didn't even bother to ask me about the father. You know she just assumed that this was my fault."

"Oh, honey. I'm so sorry! Give her some time. She will come around. I am sure!" Maria tells me and hugs me tightly. "I have an idea."

"What?" I ask her, surprised.

"We can ask Mrs. Topolsky for help. She might make your mother realize that you have a problem and you need her."

"I doubt that will work!" I tell her. "My mother is really pissed."

"Well, Isabel, you told her that you are pregnant! It's normal to feel shocked." She tells me, but I am too busy to watching Tess because she is near us. I hope that she didn't hear her last comment, because I really don't need her right now.

"Maria, please shut up, because we have company. Promise me that you won't tell anyone!" I whisper in her ear.

"Don't worry, girl. I won't tell anyone. I hope she didn't hear us."

I hope so too, I don't need Tess right now. I have enough problems without her and her friends.

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Re: To hit the rock bottom (UC/CC, Adult, Pt.9, 22/1/2012)

Post by secretk » Sun Jan 22, 2012 8:59 am

keepsmiling7: Well, yeah, sometimes all we need is good friends and I think that Tess and Kyle were exactly that. Isabel's situation is difficult. What makes me sad is that actually stuff like that happen in real life.

HypnotiqBlueEyes: Isabel needs help and I hope that she'll find good friends, the way Max found them. Liz will appear a bit later in this story, because currently they are not ready to meet her. And she's not ready to meet them.

As usual thanks to ArchAngel1973 for beta'ing my story.

Chapter 9


I'm here at school, happy that I survived the whole fiasco with Nicolas. I mean I know that he’s not the type of guy who kills, he prefers to hurt people, but that was just enough for me to be nervous meeting him. Besides I can never be 100% sure that he won't cross the line and murder me. With these people you never know. Now, at least I have some time to prepare myself to be able to respond to his attacks. Violence won't help me. I know that. He has his gang and I'm alone. I have to use my brain and find a way to beat him at his own game. That won't be easy.

"Hey, carnal! What's up?" Jessie asks me.

"Nothing." I answer.

"What happened with Nicolas?"

"Thanks to Tess and Kyle I had enough to pay him. I guess I'm safe for the next few days."

"The next few days?" He asks me surprised and raises his eyebrow.

"You know Nicolas. He won't give up that easy."

"Yeah, speaking of him, I think that I will have to ask him favor."

"What?" He knows all the problems that I have these days with Nicolas, because of the so called 'favors' and he still wants his help?

"Yeah, dude. My father expects from me to bring money home. The job is not enough. Because of your stupid deal with Topolsky, I don't have enough time so I can't earn enough money."

"So?" I still don't see how cutting deals with Nicolas is better than doing it with Topolsky.

"Don't you get it? I need money and I need it soon. The only way is to ask Nicolas to allow me to return to the gang."

"Are you crazy? Jessie, don't you get it? Nicolas is dangerous. He doesn't do anything without wanting something back. Look at me. He lent me some money and he was ready to hurt me. Believe me; it's better to forget about him and his friends. We've had enough problems with him."

"It's easy for you to talk. You are not supposed to be the man in the family. You just sit and wait for your father to send you some money so that you can pay the bills. I need money, don't you get it?"

"No, Jessie. I don't get it. It's not much easier for me than for you. If you don't remember well, my father is sick too and he won't send me money this month. On top of that I used my savings to cover my debts to Nicolas. So I have 100 bucks for the next 15 days. Do you think that it's easy for me?"

"Sorry, dude. I know that you are not in an easier position, but I feel pressured. I need to find money quickly and the only way is to ask Nicolas for a job."

"Job?" The only work that Nicolas can offer him is to ask him to rob someone. That's the way that these people live. "Jessie, don't do this. Don't you see that you are making things more difficult by the minute? If they catch you, you might go to jail."

"I have to take the risk, man. I can't sit here and do nothing."

"You can do something. Talk to your father, explain to him that you have to go to school."

"Max, are you stupid? I can't do that. I will take the risk. No matter what!" He tells me and pulls away, but I grab his arm.

"Jessie, don't do anything stupid! We have a chance to reform ourselves. Don't blow it."

"You know what, Max. You are a coward! I will take the risk and you'll see that I'll have it all - the freedom and the money."

"Jessie!" I try to stop him, but he walks away. Sometimes I can't understand him. He's so determined to be like Nicolas and his friends. I've been there. I know how easy it is to just use someone's lack of attention and get their money. It's a quick job, but it gives you a lot of leverage. But that's about time, till the moment the police catch you. And then what? You are in jail or in juvenile detention. I just know that I can't avoid the authorities forever. No matter how good I am the time will come when I will be captured and I don't want that. I might be a coward, but I prefer it that way.

* * *

I can't believe what I just heard. Isabel Guerin, one of the school virgins is pregnant. Well, I guess this means that she is no longer a virgin. Wow, that was like a shock. I mean, seriously? And I thought that she isn't capable of doing anything besides studying. Well, I guess I was wrong. This girl has understood the meaning of the word 'pleasure'. And now she is pregnant. That's like the news of the year.

I just couldn't keep it just for me. I needed to share this with someone and the perfect guy for the job was Carlos Espinoza. Carlos is a year older than me and he is the president of the students’ society at school. He is the one that knows almost everyone at school. I don't want to tell just my friends about Isabel, I want everybody at school to know what has happened to her. They do say that payback is a bitch and right now I am planning my revenge. Because of her, Max and Jessie were in jail. Well, technically because of her Sorenson threatened me, they beat him and he sent them in jail. Anyway, it was her fault and she will pay for that.

"Hi, Carlos. What’s up, dude?" I ask him casually. I have to start somewhere. He is the kind of guy who can do whatever you ask if he’s convinced that there is something to gain for him.

"What’s up, Blondie?" He asks me.

"I have a job for you."

"Oh, girl, don’t ask what I can do for you, but what you can do for me." See, I told you. He’s willing to do the job if he'll receive something in return.

"I know a secret and I want to share it with everyone." After all they should know. Right?

"Fine, that can be done. What do I get?" Hmm, what does he get? Fun?

"Support for the upcoming elections?" I try to offer him.

"One vote is not enough for me." Yep, that’s true, my vote won't be sufficient.

"How about the votes of all my friends?"

"What’s that, like 2? No, I want something more." Ouch, he got me. It's true I have only 2 friends, well maybe 3. Kyle is not that bad.

"Ok, I can help you with your campaign." Not that I know how to do it. Or that I like doing it, but I am ready to do anything just to screw Isabel.

"I am not sure that this will help me a lot ... Having in mind how many people dislike you ... Anyway what is the secret?" He is surely direct. I mean now he just told me that I'm hated by almost everyone at school. Anyway, I forget that. After all I need a favor.

"Isabel Guerin is pregnant." I tell him and he is surprised. Yep, that would be the reaction of everyone else. I was surprised too. Then I was happy, because seeing your enemy suffering is real fun.

"Isn’t she supposed to be a virgin?" Well, she was.

"Well, I guess she is not anymore." I tell him and start laughing.

"Wow, that’s like the news of the year. Ok, I will help you, but only because that’s a total hit." Yep, it is. I'm sure that no one ever expected that from her.

"Thanks." I say to him and kiss him on the cheek. Not that I like him or he is my friend or something, but I have to be grateful. I have learnt that a woman has to use her gift as leverage. If that can help me reach my goals, then perfect.

"I still think of this as a favor, so whenever I need something, I will ask you something in return." He warns me and I roll my eyes. Yes, Carlos, I know this.

"Don’t worry! I might be a lot of things, but disloyal is not one of them." That's true. I am really loyal, when I want to be...

And the mission has started. Carlos and I start to share Isabel’s secret among the people at school. Oh, today is a really good day.

* * *

This is one of the worst days in my life. Well, my worst one is that teachers' party, when I was drunk, raped and impregnated. I doubt that I can beat that, but who knows? I guess I should just shut up. I don't want to challenge destiny. I don't need more problems. I have enough already. I am walking alone in the passageway, when someone pushes me.

"Hey, that's the pregnant one!" I hear him saying. God, is there anyone here that doesn't know that I was knocked up? I guess Tess did hear us discussing my problem. Great, now she’s told the whole world. Sometimes I hate her even more. What’s her problem? I get that she doesn't want to be my friend. Well, I don't want to be hers either. But why the hell is she constantly trying to make my life harder? I’ve got enough problems already. Now, I have to deal with all kinds of morons telling me that I'm pregnant. Like I don't know that already. They are aware of it, I am too. Then why do they need to repeat it? I guess they are really stupid.

"Knocked up! Knocked up!" I hear some girl shouting in my face. Fine, people, laugh at me. I'm fine with this. The question is how happy you will be if you were in my place? Will it be so funny when you are the one that is knocked up, or you are the one that knocked up some girl? God bless you for being lucky.

"Guerin, come here!" I hear someone talking to me. I turn around to see Kivar. Great! What did I tell you a minute ago? Don't challenge your fate! Nothing good will come of it! Now officially my day got worse. What does this son of a bitch want?

"Good morning, teacher!" I tell him calmly.

"There are rumors that you might be pregnant ..." Oh, so he is checking to see if he is the lucky father. Fuck you, pig!

"So?" I ask him. I'm sick and tired of seeing him every day. I hate him!

"I'm not the father. Right?" Oh, don't be so naive. Who might be the father? The prince of England?

"Well, actually ..." I start talking, but he grabs my arm and pushes me into a nearby classroom. And again I'm here alone with him in an empty room. Well, what more can he do to me? I guess I can't be pregnant more than once at the same time.

"Listen to me carefully! Keep your mouth shut! If someone asks you about the father, be sure to leave me out of the picture!"

"Don't worry! I won't tell anything!" I assure him. I know pretty well that I can't prove anything. I mean I am pregnant and he is the father, but how can I prove that he raped me? My word against his. Yeah, I know who will win.

"Good to know, sweetie!" He tells me with a smile and caresses my chin. I pull away fast and remove his hand.

"Don't touch me!"

With that I leave the room and encounter Maria.

* * *

I am walking around the school like crazy, because I can't find Isabel. I heard some guys talking about her being pregnant. That bitch Tess heard us and she has told the whole world. Sometimes I wonder how can exist such people. I understand that she is not our friend. I understand that for some weird reason she dislikes Isabel. I get that. Everyone has the right to have a particular opinion about someone. What I don't get is how you can find others’ misfortune fun. Maybe there is something wrong with me. Or maybe Tess is just damaged. Who knows? The point is that now the whole school mocks Isabel for being pregnant. Yeah, right, guys. Have fun! That's all you can do right now. I know how easy it is to judge someone that you don't know. When we don't know the whole truth and all the facts we tend to use what we know to form an opinion. Right now, for all these people Isabel is just the next whore that had the courage to sleep with someone unprotected. Then again I can't judge them. I would probably think the same if I didn't know the whole truth and if she wasn't my friend.

The one that I really don't get is Tess. Why the hell did she have to tell the whole world? When Isabel told Topolsky about her stepfather, she went nuts. And now she is doing the same thing, even worse. I guess some people might be really hypocritical. I swear the only people that I can't stand are Tess and her friends. Right now Isabel isn't in the position of defending herself, but if I encounter Tess, I won't shut up. That bitch needs to know that I won't tolerate her behavior. I mean I know how people say that violence generate more violence. I know that if we try to get even with her, she will respond and that would be like war. On the other hand I won't sit here and do nothing. It's one thing to not like her, and another thing to laugh at someone having a difficult time. That's like finding it funny that her stepfather beats her up. No, Tessie, you need to stop acting like a bitch, to put away your black glasses and realize that you're not the only one here that has problems.

I walk along the passageway and see a door open. What surprises me is the fact that Isabel came out of this room.

"Hey, how are you?" I ask her.

"Well, I guess now I don't need to worry. They all know my secret."

"Knocked up!" We hear some boy yelling at her behind our backs. I turn around, pissed, and come closer him.

"Look moron, shut up and get the hell out of here."

"Relax, princess. I'm just telling the truth!" He tries to justify his actions.

"Really? What you are doing is laughing at your classmate. Let me tell you something, buddy. One day you will screw some bitch that you met 2 hours ago and your condom will break. And guess what? She will be pregnant and I will really feel sorry for your future kid, because having an idiot as a father is worse than not having one." He looks at me speechless. "Now, get out of here!"

He disappears and I see that Isabel is crying. I hug her tight and see someone open the door of the room that she was in just minutes ago. What surprises me more is that the person is Kivar. Why the hell were Isabel and Kivar were talking? As far as I know if she likes some teacher, it would be Sorenson.

"I have to get out of here, Maria. I can't stand this. They’re all watching me like I'm some dirty shit. I can't do it. The worst thing is that my family shares their opinion." She is telling me and I start crying with her. What is she supposed to do when there is no one that is willing to smile at her and tell her that everything will be fine?

"No, Isabel! Don't let these people control your life! Everything will be OK. I'm with you!"

"You're the only one!"

"I'm sure that your family will help you!" Hell, I will do whatever it takes to put some sense into her brother. I can't leave her that way. She is my best friend.

"No, Maria. They won't do anything! They are ashamed of me!"

"Ashamed of what? Isabel, it's not your fault that some idiot took advantage of you! Stop doing that to yourself. These people that you see here, they can say whatever they want. You won't change their mind. It's easy to judge when you are not the one that has problems. Just leave them. Your family is shocked, but the moment they know the truth they will be beside you. Believe me! Everything will be all right! You just have to have faith!"

"Faith? Maria, I want to die! I can't take it anymore!"

"Isabel, just don't talk! Don't allow the depression to possess you! Dying is not a decision. You have to fight back and you will do it! I know that this is not what you wished. I know that this is not how you or your family pictured your life. So what? Life is not always fun! This doesn't mean that we have to stop living!"

"Maria, thanks a lot! For being for me, for being my friend, for being the person that you are!"

"Hey, I know that you would do the same for me!" And believe me I will do a lot more and I will start with your brother. I can't waste more time. You need help girl and I'm not enough.

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Re: To hit the rock bottom (UC/CC, Adult, Pt.10, 29/1/2012)

Post by secretk » Sun Jan 29, 2012 8:48 am

keepsmiling7: Yeah, she's in really bad place and it continues in this chapter too.

Thanks for the feedback, I really appreciate it.

Also as usual many thanks to ArchAngel1973 for beta'ing my story.

Chapter 10


I skipped most of the school day so I can talk to Nicolas. I know that Max is wrong. I can combine both things. I can earn enough money for my family and I can avoid the police. I know that I'm capable and I'll prove it to him. He is a coward. He’s believed every stupid world that Topolsky person told him. Somehow he is convinced that he can change and can run away from this world. Soon or later, he'll realize that I have a point. I wonder how much time he'll try to live only with the money that his father sends him. Granted he can try to work out the things for the first few months and then what? How will he find a way to pay his bills without asking Nicolas or someone else for help? No, Max, you'll see that we have no other option. That's the only way to survive. I enter Nicolas's secret place and I'm "welcomed" by Pedro - one of his men. He checks me for weapons, bugs and that kind of stuff. After minutes of thorough check up, I'm allowed to enter his office.

"Jessie, you are one brave man. Showing up here alone!" Nicolas tells me. Yes, I know that he can hurt me. After all it's one against his gang, but I had to do it. I need the money.

"Hello, Nicolas. I come in peace!" I try to calm him down and explain to him that I have no intention of causing problems.

"Really? Somehow I doubt it." I come closer him and raise my hands, showing him that I'm not planning to do anything to him.

"Believe me! I want back in!"

"Back?" He asks me and raises his eyebrows.

"Yes, back in the gang."

"Interesting ... If I'm not mistaken a month ago you and your buddy Max decided to screw me over ..."

"Look, I'm sorry ..." I start to explain my actions, but he interrupts me.

"Sorry’s not gonna cut it. You need to prove to me that you really want back in and that this is not some plan your friend Max came up with to screw me." What is he talking about? I wouldn't do that.

"What? I wouldn't do that. I'm here because I need job. I need money."

"Not so fast, Jessie. If I remember right, I welcomed you into my gang a year and half ago because Max guaranteed you are loyal and crafty."

"And I proved to you that I am."

"Really? I wouldn't say that you are super crafty, though I have to admit that you are good at fighting. However you and your friend Max showed me that you are disloyal."

"Let me explain that to you, Nicolas. That was the only way to stay out of jail. I promise I won't let you down!"

"In this business we don't rely on promises. What counts are actions. If you want back in you'll have to demonstrate to me that you’re willing to follow my orders."

"Fine, I'll do whatever it takes."

"First I want Max back in the gang!" Right, of course he'd want that. Max is like his favorite. But how can I convince him? That won't be easy. "Second, you'll need to show me that we can rely on you in our missions. For that purpose, you'll have to do something on your own." On my own? What is he talking about? "And third, forget about Tess Harding. Helping her only causes us trouble. That's why you were in jail."

"Fine!" is the only thing I say. I guess I will have to work really hard, but I'm sure that it'll be worth it. Yes, I promise you, dad, I'll give you enough money, so that we can live the way we’ve always wanted.
* * *


After school Tess, Kyle and I headed to the billiards hall. Not that we don't have homework to do, we just are not in the mood for that right now. Few billiards games are much better. Besides we needed to discuss the last school news - the pregnancy of Isabel Guerin. I mean how fucking hilarious is that? The last year everyone laughed at her, because she was a virgin. It's hard to be different and she wasn't like us. Now she is no longer this precious innocent girl, but we have other reason to laugh at her. How stupid someone can be? I mean sex is good and cool, but at least we should protect ourselves. Well, I guess that wasn't in the books that she read, because apparently she is pregnant.

"Are you sure, Tess?" Kyle asks her.

"Yes, I heard her talking with your girlfriend. I guess Maria doesn't trust you enough to tell you that." Tess answers him and I can see that he is frustrated by her comment.

"What? That was Isabel's secret. Besides yesterday I was busy trying to help you with the problem that Max had. I'm sure that she would've told me if she had the opportunity." The interesting thing though is that he tries to justify the situation. Why the hell does he bother to explain to Tess that he and Maria are ok and they trust each other? Is it an attempt to reassure himself or an act to make Tess believe that he is happy with Maria? Not that they don't seem happy.

"Oh come on, Kyle! Don't make excuses for her! If I were you, I would explain to her the meaning of the word 'loyalty'." Why is Tess so interested in the relationship between Maria and Kyle? I know that Tess doesn't like her, hell I feel the same about her, but I don't go around telling Kyle that he should have serious talks with his girlfriend.

"Tess, I won't discuss my relationship with you. I know that you dislike Maria, but she is very sweet and nice." Ok, he's not gonna discuss his relationship, but he explains to her why he likes Maria. Seriously? I have to make these two shut up.

"Guys, relax! Why don't we focus on the important issue here? Namely, Isabel, the most loved girl by the teachers is pregnant. The moment I heard this, I thought that some bomb has exploded."

"Yeah, I know, total fun." Tess laughs and slaps my hand in the air.

"OK, guys, I know that it's weird, but it's not that cool either. I mean she is pregnant. Can you imagine? Being a mother at our age?" Kyle asks concerned and I have to admit he has a point. I wouldn't want to be a father. No, I'm not prepared for that.

"Well, Kyle, she should've thought about that before having unprotected sex. If she doesn't know how to use condoms or take pills, then she should stay out of bed." Tess explains and rolls her eyes. She is right too. Why should we sympathize with Isabel? She has full responsibility for what happened to her. We didn't say to her 'Have sex, get pregnant!'

"Tess is right. We're not guilty because she is not educated enough to know how to protect herself."

"Yes, guys, I know, but you should also consider the fact that sometimes things don't play out they we planned it." Kyle tries to argue with our point of view.

"Well, that much we know. I didn't plan to be in jail, but I was. So? I'm not saying that is her fault or Sorenson's fault." OK, I did think that it was their fault, but now I know that it's my responsibility to reform.

"Max, Kyle, why do you make the things complicated? It's simple. Isabel slept with someone and now she is expecting a child. Do I feel sorry for her? No, I don't. Do I want to know what happened? No, I don't and I don't need it. I don't care. She made a mistake and now she has to face the consequences. Everything in this world has a price." Tess said abruptly and waved her hand.

"Hey, guys. What's up?" We're interrupted by Jessie's voice.
* * *

After this long day at school I come home late. I wasn't in the mood for more fights and confrontations. I know how everybody around me feels. I know it because I share their disappointment. I know that it's my fault; I know that it was my responsibility, but that doesn't help me at all. No matter how sorry I am, I'm still expecting a child. I'm still supposed to make a decision that will mark my life forever. My life will never be the same. I know it. I could make an abortion and the child will be gone, but that doesn't mean that my memory will go away. Am I capable of killing someone that's part of me? Am I capable of just letting it go? Will I be able to forget? What will happen in the future if I decide to have another child? How can we decide who has the right to live and who does not? Is it selfish if I don't want this kid? Or maybe it's selfish to give birth and expect the support of my family and my friends. What is best? If I have this child, will I be able to raise him without constantly thinking about Kivar and how he hurt me? What should I do? I ask myself all the time and still can't decide.

"Look who is here," Michael says. My mother is at work till late this evening, so I guess I'll have to take his behavior towards me.

"Just leave me alone!" I try to go away, but he stops me with his hurtful words.

"I don't think so. So how does it feel to be knocked up?" Really Michael? Is it that interesting to you? I can't believe that you're acting this way. I know that you're jerk, but I'm your sister for God's sake. I can accept this from Tess and all the others at school, but from you? Then I guess I deserve it. I made a mistake and that's how everyone sees it.

"Look, really I'm not in the mood for arguing. I'll be in my room."

"Doing what? Crying?" You know me really well. What more is there for me? I can't do anything. All I have is the desire to cry.

"Do we really need to discuss this? Why don't you watch some stupid hockey game and leave me alone?"

"No, Isabel, I won't do that. Since my father died all I have heard is how good you are. My mother has always told how I should be responsible like you, I should be polite like you, I should be smart like you. And now you are the one that made a mistake and you have the nerve to tell me to cut you slack? No, I won't do that! Because you got pregnant and now my mother and I are supposed to tell you 'Don't worry, Isabel. Everything will be all right!' Aren't you supposed to be the perfect one? Now, we should pay for your mistakes. Because when you give birth to that whore’s son, we'll be the one that should work our asses off so that you can watch it and study. Do you think that I want this for me Isabel? Do you?" He comes near me and shouts in my face.

He's right. I and my child are only a burden for him and mom. I can't expect help from them. I can't ask them for support. I have no right to demand anything from them.

"I'm really sorry ..." is all I manage to say with tears in my eyes.

"You are sorry? Go to hell, Isabel and take your unborn child with you! You know you're not the only one that had dreams. I had them too and now I won't be able to accomplish them, because my sister is too much of a whore and too stupid to know how to protect herself."

I try really hard to come up with something, to defend myself, to explain my actions, but what can I say? He's right. They're all right. I have to take care of this on my own. I have to find the strength that is somewhere deeply hidden in me and to deal with it. I'm one big disappointment. No one will ever love me. At least I can have my dignity by not bothering the people around me. At least I can leave them out of this mess. I know I'll go into the abyss, but I'll do it on my own. There is no need for them to be involved in this.
* * *

Kyle and Tess left me alone with Jessie. He made it clear that he wants to discuss something with me in private. So here am I - sitting in the park waiting for him to get the courage to tell me what's going on.

"Max, I need to talk to you." That much we know already, Jessie. I guess he has something really important to tell me. Otherwise he wouldn't hesitate so much.

"OK." I tell him and shrug my shoulders.

"I talked with Nicolas." Great, I guess he doesn't care how dangerous that guy might be.

"So you didn't listen to me and despite my warnings decided to try to find the easier way again." I stress the word 'again' trying to remind him that the last time we decided to do something illegal, we ended up in jail.

"You know that I don't have other options." Ok, seriously, I'm getting sick and tired of hearing this.

"No, Jessie, you don't wanna look around and find other possibilities. You want to have everything and you want to have it easy. Sorry buddy, but that's not how the world works."

"Max, stop being a prick and listen to me. I'm sick and tired of your attempts to reform me and teach me how to live my life."

"Then why you are here?"

"Are we friends?"

"Yes, we're friends, although I don't agree with your decisions lately."

"Good, because I need your help."

"What are you talking about?"

"Nicolas will allow me to return to the gang if you do the same." Is he for real?

"Forget it! I won't do it!"

"Max, don't be selfish. I need your help! Can't you do this for me?" Seriously? I'm the selfish one?

"Jessie, don't be a hypocrite! I won't do it and that's it."

"So you'll leave me? Is that how you show me that you're my friend?" He yells at me and I come closer to him.

"Listen to me very carefully! Don't talk to me about friendship! When I had a problem with Nicolas, Tess and Kyle were the ones that helped me, not you!"

"I told you that I don't have money. If I did, I wouldn't need Nicolas's help."

"And I told you 'Don't worry'. Did you hear me questioning our friendship? But now you come here and dare to tell me that I'm the selfish one. If you remember correctly, Nicolas threatened me. I swore to him that I won't be his friend again and I won't work again for him. And I won’t do it!"

"Max, didn't you tell me that sometimes we have to make sacrifices?"

"Yes, I did, but it’s one thing to come back to school and a totally different story to become a criminal again. I won't risk it. I promised Topolsky that I would behave and I plan to do it."

"So you prefer to stay here and be good student instead of helping me? Thanks a lot, Max!"

"No, Jessie! I prefer to be alive and out of jail! If you want to risk your life, well I can't stop you, but I won't do it. The moment Nicolas attacked me, he became my enemy and I won't make deals with him! That's it!"

"Fine, go to hell!" He tells me and leaves me alone in the park.

I know that I was harsh, but I can't do it. I might seem stupid, I might be a loser, but I have dreams too. I want to live long enough so that I can make them come true one day. I know that he is in difficult situation and I would do almost everything for him, but not that. I may be selfish, but sometimes in life we come to a crossroads and we need to make up our mind and find the least of a worst decision for us. I know that I hurt him, but if I accept Nicolas's offer, I'll never be out of his gang and his business. I can't risk it. I just started this battle with myself and I can't surrender. No matter how hard is I can't fail.
* * *


The moment Jessie asked to talk to Max we knew that they'd need privacy, so Tess and I backed off. I offered to walk her home and she accepted. For the past few days I feel that we have been getting closer. And I am happy about it. I can't explain it, but I've always seen Tess as a challenge. Most of the people think that she is vulgar, rude and violent girl with a bad temper. But I think that there is a reason for this behavior. I know for a fact that she can be a good and loyal friend, she can trust and respect people. She is capable of being like Maria or Isabel. I guess something hit her so hard that she doesn't want to let anyone near her. I don't know what exactly it is, but I'm sure that she has a reason for acting like this and I want to break that wall that she has built up.

"Thanks for offering to walk me home!" She tells me with a smile. See, she can be nice.

"Don't mention it! We live in a dangerous neighborhood. I can't leave you alone."

"Kyle, you're a good guy!" She tells me and I find myself mesmerized by her beautiful blue eyes. Like I'm hypnotized or something. Wait! I have a girlfriend; I shouldn't see Tess this way. She is only my friend, nothing more.

"Kyle, are you OK?" Tess asks me and I snap out of my thoughts. Am I fine?

"Yes, Tess. You know I'm glad that we could be friends." I tell her and she looks at me, surprised. Tess comes closer to me and I feel how my heartbeat accelerates. I tremble and I start shiver and I know that I'm not cold.

"Friends?!" She tells me and I'm wondering is this a question or a statement? I approach her and lean in for a kiss on the cheek. She however turns her head and I feel my lips touch hers and I don't wanna pull away.