Walk Like an Egyptian (CC - Child) Complete 4/14/08

Finished Canon/Conventional Couple Fics. These stories pick up from events in the show. All complete stories from the main Canon/CC board will eventually be moved here.

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majiklmoon
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Walk Like an Egyptian (CC - Child) Complete 4/14/08

Post by majiklmoon »

Title: Walk Like an Egyptian
Rating: Child
Disclaimer: I own nothing – the characters belong to Melinda Metz, Jason Katims and Fox. I’m just borrowing them.

Author’s Note: Started out as a drabble based upon a writing prompt from spiletta42. Sorry Max is kind of the group poster child for idiocy in this one.

Prompt: Inexplicably stranded in ancient Egypt after an incident with the granolith, the gang struggles to avoid disrupting the timeline while discovering in far too much detail just how much they hate sand. They also accidentally invent strip poker. And possibly donuts

“Is everybody ready?” Max asked.

“As we’ll ever be,” said Liz.

They, as a group, had decided to use the Granolith to travel to Antar and fight Kivar on his home turf. Well to be honest, Max had decided. None of the others were too anxious to go, but they had agreed to stick together, and since Max had whined the loudest, they decided to do what he wanted, just to shut him up.

“Yeah, I’m ready,” Michael said, aimlessly shuffling a deck of cards.

“Yeah, whatever,” Maria chimed in, filing her nails.

“Can we just get this over with?” asked Isabel. I’m supposed to get a facial this afternoon.

“Memdmfwmpth,” said Kyle, his mouth full of Krispy Kreme donuts.

Max rolled his eyes and activated the Granolith. Lights flashed, the Granolith shook violently and they all felt a tremendous pressure. Slowly the pressure subsided, the shaking receded and the lights dimmed.

“Well that was fun,” said Liz, gamely, trying to make it seemed like she cared about what they were doing. “Can we get out of here now?”

Max opened the door to the Granolith and one by one, the filed out to a vast desert vista.

“Home certainly seems……dusty,” said Isabel, brushing sand off over her jacket.

“Yeah, I don’t quite think this is Antar,” said Liz pointing off into the distance.

They all turned and looked and saw what looked like pyramids, one of them only half built.

“I don’t think we’re in Kansas anymore, Toto,” said Maria.

“This doesn’t look like Pismo Beach,” added Michael.

“I think we took a wrong turn in Albuquerque,” said Kyle.

“Can you stop quoting movies,” grumbled Max.

“Well, technically, Maria quoted a movie,” said Kyle, “whereas Michael and I were quoting Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck.”

“Shut up and eat another donut,” Max ground out between clenched teeth. “Obviously we ended up in Egypt.

“Ancient Egypt,” said Liz.

“Ancient Egypt,” continued Max without missing a beat, “and remember – we can’t disturb the timeline while we’re here. Now the first thing we need to do is find a village or something where we can get food and water, and – “

“Over there,” said Isabel.

“Over where,” Max snapped, growing irritated with their interruptions.

“Over there,” Isabel said slowly, clearly enunciating each word. “There are some houses over there.”

“Oh, fine,” Max just about whined. “Let’s go then.”

The slipped into the village, and quickly found an empty hut in which to hide.

“Stay here,” Max cautioned them. “I’m going to scout around and see what I can find.”

“Do you want me to come with you?” Michael asked half-heartedly.

“No, you stay here and watch out for the others,” said Max. I won’t be long.

"Hey Max, don't forget - walk like an Egyptian," Kyle said as Max exited the building.

Max carefully made his way through the village, being careful to stick to the shadows in an effort to avoid detection.

“Zan, hey Zan, is that you?” a familiar voice called.

Max whirled around and found himself staring at Brody, the new owner of the Alien Museum.

“Brody, is that you? How did you get here?” Max asked.

“I’m Larek, Max, remember?” Larek said with a long suffering sigh. “I though you understood how this whole thing works.”

“Well, yeah, you said – I don’t have a clue,” Max admitted.”

“I need a human form when I’m on Earth. I like Brody, so I link up to him and then we travel here.”

“You travel here?” Max asked, weakly.

“Yes, we travel here in one of the other Granolith’s,” explained Larek. “You don’t think you have the only one, do you? Oh my God, you did? Don’t be stupid Zan, though I suppose you can’t help it, there are Granolith’s all over the solar system.”

“Oh, I didn’t know,” said Max.

“No, I suppose you wouldn’t,” said Larek. “So, what are you doing here anyhow?”

“Oh, we were trying to um,” Max hesitated not sure if he should reveal their plan.

“Please don’t tell me you were headed to Antar to fight Kivar on his home territory?” said Larek. “Oh God, you were, weren’t you?” he added when Max didn’t answer. “Zan, really are you insane? Never mind, don’t answer that. Come on, let’s get you back home.”

Max looked at Larek, then looked down at the ground and scuffed his foot like a bashful little boy.

“You don’t know how to get back, do you?” asked Larek. “Fine, come with me, I’ll jump start you.”

“We have to get the others first,” said Max. “I left them in an abandoned hut.”

“Zan, there are no abandoned huts here,” said Larek, shaking his head. “The owners were probably out working in the fields. Let’s get them out of their before the owners return.”

Max led Larek back to where the others where hiding, but it was too late. Screams could be heard through the thick clay walls of the dwelling. Max rushed through the door and froze at the site that greeted him. Instead of the carnage that he expected, there were his friends along with several Egyptians in various states of undress playing cards.

“No, see, I have a full house,” Isabel explained to a handsome Egyptian. “That beats your pair of kings, so you have to take off – well something,” she said, admiring his scantily clad body.

“Isabel, what are you doing?” Max yelled from the doorway.

“What does it look like we’re doing?” asked Isabel. “I mean come on Max, it’s obvious. We’re playing strip poker.”

“I told you to be careful, and not to disturb the timeline,” Max groused.

“Right, because playing strip poker with Ahmet and Akila here is really going to change history,” said Maria.

“Come on, we’re leaving,” Max said, trying to assert his authority and regain control of the situation.

“Brody, is that you?” Liz asked, slipping her shirt back on.”

“This is Larek,” said Max stepping in between his girlfriend and the other man. “Come on, is everybody ready?”

“What are you doing here anyhow?” Max asked as he led Larek back to the Granolith.

“Zan, don’t you know anything?” asked Larek. “Everybody knows visitors from other worlds helped the ancient Egyptians build the pyramids.”

He waited until everybody had climbed into the Granolith before he hooked it up to device that looked suspiciously like a cell phone. The Granolith began to shake violently and he reached up and pounded on its side.

“Have a safe trip,” he called out as the Granolith began to fade away.

“I’m hungry,” Max said over the rumbling of the ship. “Kyle, let me have one of those Krispy Kremes.”

“Oh, sorry, Max, I guess I left them back in the hut,” said Kyle.

“Are you insane?” Max shouted. “Do you realize how all of you could have disrupted the time line with your carelessness?”

“Max, relax,” said Liz. “I really think you’re overreacting.”

The Granolith ended its journey and the door slid open and the six friends climbed out, with Max complaining under his breath about their careless behaviors.

They all squeezed into Kyle’s car and headed back to Roswell.

“Max, look, I think you’re making a big deal out of nothing,” said Michael. “The two donuts that got left back there are not going to have a big impact on the world.”

“Um - well,” said Liz. “Take a look at that.”

They all looked at the direction she pointed at what used to be an empty lot on the outskirts of Roswell. A large building shaped like a pyramid stood where before there was nothing. Its sign showed two donuts stacked atop a pyramid with four playing cards whose kings looked like pharaohs. The sigh said: “Welcome to King Tut’s – Established 1343 B.C.

Max gave a long suffering sigh as he pulled into the drive through. “Maybe next time, you’ll listen to me.”
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