The [Un]Luck of the Irish[minded], (CC, mature, 1/1, 3/16/12

[KiaraAlexisKlay]

Title: The [Un]Luck of the Irish[minded]
Rating: Mature for Language
Author: Kristin aka Kiara Alexis Klay/ Kiara Klay/ "K"
Category: Canon-based, Comedy, Angst-ish
Pairing: Jeffrey and Nancy Parker
Characters: The Parkers...mentions Max, Michael, Isabel, Liz, Maria, and Alex
Summary: Vilondra Project Spring Challenge fic for exploration of a Minor Character[s] at Roswell Heaven.
Comfort Level: I am experiementing number one with a dialogue style of narration, which I have never wrote before. Number two, my main povs in this story are from Nancy and Jeff Parker, two characters with whom I rarely write and seldom mention in detail in any of my other stories.
First Time: Alas, I am no longer a virgin to the Vilondra Project, that cherry was popped while we were still calling it the Avant Garde challenge, (;b)


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"If I see one more person, dressed as a leprechaun, I am going to scream!"

"Is there a point to this story, sweetie? It's St. Patrick's day, if you haven't noticed. Leprechauns and green foliage and fake gold chocolate coins are natural!"

"You know what, it sounds like you have nothing to say, yet you're still running your mouth! I mean, is every guy in this town a huge jerk? Or did you just skip the class and go straight to graduation? I hate this holiday, I hate it!"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! Relax, Nancy, I think all this 'spring fever' has you all riled up. Just calm down, sweetie."

"Calm down? Calm down?! Jeffrey Parker, our entire house and place of business is decorated to the hilt with green! And not just green alien people, oh no! You just had to march down to the DeLuca Store and buy leprechaun aliens, and four leaf spaceship party place mats, and signs and banners! It's tacky and over the top! Do aliens even celebrate St. Patrick's day?! No, I don't think so, and I don't want to either. Get rid of this...this stuff!"

"Ah, come on Nancy, what's the harm? It's a holiday, and people like to celebrate any excuse they can get, especially after winter. What's the harm in that?"

"How are greedy, mythological butt ugly short bearded men in tights and oversized belt buckles have anything to do with celebrating? Aside from the fact that my husband is apparently turning into one!"

"C'mon, Nancy, don't be like this. St. Patrick's day is one spring's first major holidays, a time of renewal and rejoicing."

"Stop trying to cajole me. Does this face look rejoiceful to you?"

"...."

"Ow! Geez-us, Nancy did you have to pinch me like that and so hard?"

"You didn't have to agree like that, you big jerk!"

"You didn't have to pinch me! Then or now, quit pinching me!"

"You're not wearing any green now, and isn't that part of the St. Patrick's day spirit...dear?"

"If you didn't want to help with the festivities, why didn't you just pay someone to do it, instead of complaining about it to me! Go take a walk in the park or something."

"Get someone to pay for this!"

"Hey! That arrangement of flowers just hit my head! No, no.... Nancy, put the box of chocolates down, now!"

"This box of chocolate coins you were going to use in your St. Patrick's day arrangement?"

"Put that down, now! I don't want to have to explain to Amy DeLuca why her newest St. Patty's Day Alien Vases were all broken."

"How about these? Let's see you tell me not to throw these!|

"Dear God, woman! Are you freaking pregnant, you haven't acted this way since before you birthed our daughter!"

"....."

"Nancy....you're not pregnant...are you?"

"...."

"Nancy!"



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Epilogue

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The sudden silence from Liz's house upstairs was both a blessing and cause for rising tension to the unintentional eavesdroppers below. A thump and the sound of a lamp crashing had all intruders cringing at the noise, especially Nancy Parker's indignant shout.

"Jeffrey Adam Parker, you did NOT just faint and take out my grandmother's lamp!"

Max, Isabel, Liz, Michael, Maria, and Alex all shared startled looks at what they had just overheard. Liz's mouth and eyes were still wide open, the news that she was going to be a big sister still a shock. Alex looked at one of his best girlfriends and hurried to rush her to the couch in the "breakroom" before she took after her father and fainted.

"Uh, maybe now's not a good time to ask about a Spring Break trip to Cancun," Max wondered aloud, from his spot near the double doors.

"No, shit, Sherlock," Michael snorted, only to grimace and snarl an irritated, "Hey!"

"Dumb-ass,"Maria griped, shaking the hand she'd just smacked the long haired teen with. Isabel rolled her eyes in disgust and Michael glared at his ex.

"Women!"

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Finito

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p.s .... I couldn't resist the ending!