Author: Taya aka JBehr'sChica
Rating: Child
Category: Angst.
Disclaimer:I do not own the idea of Roswell, the books, series nor the characters portrayed in the TV series. I do not have any affiliation with any peoples or companies that do/did. I write for the pure joy of it and not for monetary gain. I am but a lowly, poverty stricken College student so please don't sue me.
A/N: I've taken the idea for the story from a very similar instance that happened to me a few years ago. I've found myself in something of a block in regards to Punchline... and thought that getting this out might help. This is completely written at the spur of the moment and hasn’t been beta-ed so please forgive any and all mistakes
WARNING: This isn't a dreamer story. If you're looking for a happily ever after for Max and Liz, this isn't it.
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“I, Maxwell Alexander Evans, take thee, Catharine Joy Lancaster, as my lawfully wedded wife...”
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When I received the invitation all those months ago, I knew that I couldn't not go. We had been the best of friends for years and while our friendship had been somewhat downgraded in the years since we graduated high school, it would have been rude for me to do either of the first thoughts that had run through my head when I had read what was written on the beautifully embossed card in silver and violet.
My first thought was to write 'Return to Sender: Person Unknown' on the expensive envelope and slip it back into the nearby mailbox straight away. My second thought was to respectfully decline due to previous commitments. But as I kept thinking over it, I guess I did owe it to Max, to what our friendship used to be, to be there on his big day and it would give me one last opportunity to see him again.
Upon arriving, Isabel, Max's slightly older sister (by a few minutes) greeted me like it hadn't been years since we had seen or heard from each other. Diane's welcome was just as warm and heartfelt, and while I responded in kind, inside I was numb. It felt like I was watching someone else take my place. In some way, it made it easier to continue into the sectioned off area of the immaculate garden setting.
Slowly making my way through the crowd of people to the rows of white lawn chairs, I took my seat and crossed my slim legs, smoothing the silky red dress over my thighs before my eyes automatically began scanning the area for the warm amber eyes and easy smile that had always brightened my day. It had always been like that. No matter where he was, I would just seem to instinctively know exactly where he was and position my body in his direction. Whenever I entered a room, my eyes would automatically seek him out and once they found him, keep them in their sight. But he never noticed.
I was the one girl that he'd never dated. He'd spent a few months with the girls that I was friends with, but never me. I was the best friend who would help him with any problems he was having with his girlfriend at the time, and regularly served as a translator to the inner workings of the female mind.
After sitting in my chair for a few minutes, from the corner of my eye, I noticed people walking towards the altar at the front of the chairs and felt my heart stop momentarily and my throat close as my eyes fell on the one man I had been looking for. In his black suit and white shirt, he looked like he had just stepped out of a professional photo shoot. His skin was a tanned as I remembered it, and his hair was only just long enough to touch the back of his collar. His hair swept gently across the front of his face, enhancing the dark lashes that framed his amazing eyes and the grin on his lips did nothing to detract from the gorgeous picture he made. His jawline was just as I remembered it, and with my eyes, I took in every inch of him.
Upon reaching the altar, he spoke quickly with the minister and shook his hand before taking his place next to his best man. As I took in the rear view afforded to me, I noted that he looked as physically fit as I remembered him to be. His shoulders were a little broader and his hands looked as beautiful as I remembered them as well. He had always been a man that every woman would be happy to look at all day. As I smiled to myself, I saw him turn to look at the crowd of people, most of which were now seated, ready for the ceremony to begin. I reached down and picked up my clutch, placing it in my lap and looked up just in time for his searching amber eyes to lock with my brown one. Again, my heart felt like it had stopped, and I had trouble breathing. He had looked gorgeous from a distance, his attention on others, but having his attention suddenly on me, he looked breathtaking.
I gave a small smile and a nod to acknowledge that I was here, and he smiled. Not one of those 'that's nice..' smiles either. It was one of his rarely seen, but always welcome smiles that showed just how perfect and white his teeth were, his eyes lighting up with joy that seemed to fill everyone around him. And it was for me. My heart was still stopped, and there was now something blocking my throat making it completely impossible to breath. As the last people took their seats and someone from the back signaled that everything was ready to begin, he winked. At me. I sat up straighter, lifted my head high and prepared myself for what was about to happen.
As the music began, unlike those around me, I kept my eyes firmly fixed on the man of the hour who was now standing straight, hands clasped in front of him and love shining brightly from his eyes as he watched, with that same smile he had just given me, the woman dressed in white as she slowly walked down the aisle to take her place by his side. Taller than me by a good 5 inches, she too looked like she had just left a photo shoot for an upscale wedding magazine. Everything was picture perfect.
I watched emotionly detached as the ceremony began. As the minister began the well known vows of marriage with the participation of the man and woman who were pledging to spend the rest of their lives with one another, I watched. I looked on as they took the others hand into their own and gazed into each others eyes as though everyone around them were invisible. I watched, but saw nothing.
When the final moment came for their 'I do's', I knew that I shouldn't have come. As detached as I was, there was only so much self abuse one person could take, and I think I had reached my limit. While you would think that my heart felt like it was being broken into a million pieces, the funny thing was that I didn't feel anything. Nothing at all. It was like all my emotions had been completely shut down. Carefully and very quietly, I excused myself to the people sitting next to me and stood up, slightly bent over, and made my way to the side aisle. It was one of the blessings of being the height I was. Apart from a slightly disturbance to those around me, no one else noticed that I was leaving.
Standing in the side aisle, I took one last look at the couple at the front of the altar, memorizing how Max looked at that moment. While I had long ago surrendered myself to the fact that as far as Max Evans was concerned, we would only ever be friends, I had decided that as long as he was happy, I could let go. As I watched Max take the ring from his best man and place it on her finger before reciting his vows, I noticed that I had never seen him as happy as he was right now.
I won't deny that it hurt. That squeezing in my chest came back stronger than it had ever been before and my eyes felt like they were holding back the Hoover Dam. But he was happy, and that was the most important thing. I had loved him for ever, and now it was time to let him go.
As I made my way out of the picturesque gardens, I swallowed hard and blinked a couple of times before standing tall and putting my shoulders back. Lifting my head high, I continued walking to my car and as I opened the front door, I heard the applause of the guests as the announcement was made. Pausing for only a moment, I closed my eyes and allowed myself a moment of grief, before getting into the car and driving away.
“Goodbye Max.”
