Divorce
Title: Divorce
Author: ken_r AKA ken242 AKA Kenneth Renouard
Rating: Adult because of themes
Disclaimer: All the Roswell characters are borrowed for purposes of making a story. No claim is made for any of them. There are many reasons for divorce. Sexual incompatibility and infidelity are only two. For the purposes of this story, these are the ones we shall consider. As with all my writing, this is a collection of stories, observations and research I have made over the years. I do not want to open up old wounds of readers, nor do I want to pretend any wise advice in how to stay married. I just want to investigate the insecurities of two people and where those insecurities led them.
Genera: Alternate Universe without aliens, although aliens might have the same problems.
Couples: Conventional
Summary: If you are a person, so sure of themselves, that you have no insecurities, you will not enjoy or understand this story. If your mind has never played, ‘What if?’ when confronted with domestic blunders, you won’t understand this couple. For the rest of us, maybe you can appreciate the perfect couple, being subjected to rumors, innuendos and down right lies. They get a divorce. First, they blame each other. Then, reality sets in and they start to wonder if they individually share blame. They repeatedly ask themselves, “What if I had done this or that?” Like many young people, they center their frustrations on sex. Were they good enough lovers to hold onto their marriage? They date, learn and finally, join a chat line for lonely people. Of course, the computer chooses them as perfect chat partners. They remain anonymous to each other, but they chat about their problems, their fears, and their experiences being single. They discuss their insecurities as they go about the dating world.
Since most of the readers are women may, I offer this. All boys are not born with a permanent hard on. If they are not into the locker-room vulgarities, many boys have a hard time understanding that nice girls are not like the boy’s mother told him they should be. Nice girls want love just like any other girl. In fact unless they are mean or hateful, all girls are nice. Many “nice” girls have a very difficult times coping with many of the immature boys. Many of the fanciful tales of sexual prowess of young men in high school are just wet dreams gone wild.
Dreamer insurance is guaranteed, but, “Everyone pays for it in the end, somehow!”
I wish to thank, destinyc for her help getting the first few chapters going, Janetfl for encouraging me in starting this story and always Carole, my wife, for editing my grammar and giving me her opinion on the female parts.
Divorce
Max
“You cheating bastard,” she screamed, as I fled out the door. I had to duck several times to dodge the kitchenware that she threw at me. As a coffee cup went flying by my head, I wished I had never encouraged her to join that softball team. There were many other words that she shouted. I never knew that she had ever heard that kind of language, much less that she would use it. I don’t know what her problem was. I was the one offended. She was the one “they said” was stepping out with that jailbird, Sean.
I had come home early that day, meaning to talk things out. If I wasn’t enough for her, I wanted her to tell me what more I could do. Was our sex life that bad? If so, then I was willing to see a therapist. Was I not communicating enough with her? Then, I was willing to talk it out with a marriage counselor.
Five years ago our marriage was made in heaven. When I addressed her that night for the first time, like a general standing before his troops, I wanted to know her and let her know me. I was hoping for a long life together. I thought that no one was as lucky as I. While slipping that beautiful gown off her body, I almost forgot to breathe. The gown itself was enough to, almost, make me lose my wad. You could almost see through it. The weave was heaver just over the breasts and at the place of cupid’s folly. I could just see a tiny bit of her dark pubic hair peeking out at me. Standing for my inspection was affecting her also. Her nipples were hardening under the gown. They were now stretching the gown as if trying to get out.
The most memorable thing about Liz was her large, brown eyes. They were windows into her soul and to every emotion she held. True, when she was screaming at me, I was sure that they were shooting fire. When I removed her gown that wedding night, and every night thereafter of our marriage, those liquid brown eyes would look at me with childlike wonder. Then, as we gazed on each other, they would brighten as they showed a desire every bit as strong as my own.
My shorts had been, almost bursting with my desire. I had opened my arms to her and she slowly came to me. As I took her in my arms, that small body showed it housed a heart bigger than I could imagine. I had felt it pounding in her small chest as my arms were wrapped around her and I pulled her against me.
We had been a couple through part of high school. Our one brief and feeble attempt at love, I now, could look back on with embarrassment. Neither of us knew what we were doing. It was prom night and we had driven to a friend’s house to change. The prom party lasted all night. The school parents had a supervised party for all who wanted to attend. We had intended to drive directly to the party, but as we drove, Liz cuddled under my arm. Somehow, we ended up at the park. My car was parked in a secluded corner of the lot adjacent to the park and my fly was opened. My slacks dropped down about my ankles, while I held her panties. We struggled to find each other’s bodies. There were many groans and sighs that had nothing to do with sex. Finally I thought we had made it. Neither of us were experienced enough to really know how things were supposed to feel. If it sounds like I didn’t know how things were happening, you are correct. Everything was dream-like, out of control. I had my dream girl in my arms and for the first time, I had slid out of my pants with the intention of making love to a girl. Yes, we made it to the party, later, but it was obvious from the two hours we missed, when we arrived, that we had “come” from somewhere and had been doing something else. The smirks from our friends told, at least, what they thought it was.
That prom night, I felt that I had really made love to her. She cuddled under my arm with a possessiveness that felt like she would never let me go. I now thought we were lovers. We would be together forever. I even had a locket made and inscribed, “Max and Liz Forever.”
In college, I went to Stanford and she went to Harvard. That was a long separation. We both had too much invested to change our college plans then. Hard work, the extreme distance and other influences slowly dissolved our relationship. Our brief times as a couple hardly counted. We had gone together for several years, but only after our attempt at making love that night, could we count as some kind of bond.
In college as thoughts of Liz dimmed, I screwed my first woman. I won’t say that I didn’t enjoy it, but that taught me that what ever Liz and I had done was not making love. Well screwing in college wasn’t love either. I did learn that what I had done with Liz wasn’t fulfilling. I would always have an emotional adoration for Liz, although neither of us had had enough experience to make physical love, at that time, and enjoy it.
That night of our wedding, her gown slipping off in my hands, slowly looking at her body, her ridged breasts, her nipples gorged with blood as they hardened, brought back the adoration. My erection, pressing against her only separated by my shorts, brought back the experience I had learned in college. The shorts soon were gone and we collapsed into the bed. That night, I had both love and sex together for the first time. Wrapping my arms around her and crushing her against my chest this time I knew that I never wanted to let her go.
Five years had gone by. For me, Liz still had the original child-like innocence that she had had on our wedding night. No children yet, but we had plenty of time. We were young and we had our whole lives together. She was working at the college and I was now working at a lab refining pharmaceuticals. Liz was teaching chemistry to freshmen and working on her master’s degree, while I was working trying to squirrel away enough money, sorting aspirins, so I could return to grad school. Life was good. I couldn’t ask for anything better. There were several people working at my lab from our hometown. One was even an old girlfriend.
I had gone with Tess Harding in our freshman year of high school. Tess was a small girl in high school, with hair the color of the sun. At the time, I was sure that she was a natural blonde. Her eyes were sparkling blue and looking into them was a vision of heaven itself. We made out a lot, but I just wasn’t fast enough for her. Soon, I learned that she was screwing the captain of the football team. She no longer had time for a boy in training when she could have an experienced, “man.”
At that time, I saw her as an angel pure in heart and deed. It was difficult to think that she wanted to lie naked in anyone’s arms. The captain of the team was a school celebrity. Every year, my once dream girl was screwing the captain of the football team. It was as if they passed her tiny body down along with the title of captain. Like the captain’s jersey, Tess had become the property of the team. In my mind, I saw a tiny tag attached to her body, “Property of Roswell athletics department.” I had lost track of her when we all graduated. I guess, she went to college somewhere and majored in biology. We passed each other in the lab and several times, we ate lunch together in the cafeteria. She now seemed to have her independence. She was still an attractive woman. We talked about a lot of things, but our failed relationship, in high school, was never one of them.
Liz
I was so mad at Max I couldn’t see straight. I knew that Tess Harding was working at the lab. She was just a girl from our old high school. That she meant anything to Max was not considered at that time. I felt that Max was a bit jealous that I was continuing in school while he put his ambitions off for a while. I was putting every bit of my salary away so that as soon as I finished my schooling, he could quit the labs and attend college full time. If I could get a good job then he could go as far as he wanted to in school. I would help support him as he had done me.
When Max tried to make love to me the night of the prom, I felt I was his first love. I excused his fumbles and loved him even more because of them. It was different for me. That night, I had for the first time seen, Max’s lower body, naked. It wasn’t the first time I had seen that part of a boy, naked though. The summer after my freshman year, while my parents were out of town, I had stayed with Maria. Her mother gave her a lot of freedom and while my parents were gone, I also enjoyed that freedom. Maria’s cousin came to stay with us that last week before my parents returned. He could be very charming so when one night we were alone together and he started kissing me, I decided that this would be the night. Sean seemed to know what he was doing. He even used a prophylactic. He had my dress up, my panties off and when he stood, dropping his pants and shorts, Sean took out the small package. He made a show of unwrapping it and rolling it over his shaft, all the while my mind went back to the banana, we used in the sex education class, in middle school. He seemed so masterful when he smiled and said, “For your protection.” I, indeed, felt I was ready to step into the world as a woman. I now had a boy, still wearing his school jacket, his pants on the floor, ramming into me with the intensity of impatient youth.
All I can say about that night was, it hurt. Sean was rough and everything he did was for his own gratification. When he was through, he acted like I should be grateful to him. To me, it seemed that he had showed no feeling for me, especially since he knew that this was my first time. I don’t know what I expected? Maybe a bit of romance, a gentle touch, a caress or kiss, but that was beyond Sean. Once he had my body, any kisses or other ministrations, for me, were forgotten. That last week, Sean tried several times to take me again, but I dodged him with every excuse I could find.
When my parents returned, I decided that I felt used, but I told no one about the episode, even Maria. When Max came to me that night after the prom, I only wished I could have helped his fumbling. I really cared for Max and I truly wanted something to happen. With Max, I had had that romance, that touch, kiss and caress. We just didn’t quite make the love or sex, process. I held onto him, later at the party. I was hoping he would try again. I really wanted to make love to Max, the right way and completely. Finals, graduation, summer plans with our families all contrived to keep us apart. Then for the next four years, there was a whole continent separating us. When you are young, you have so little control over the things going on about you. In college, when you study as many hours a day as I did, old relationships are hard to keep. Summers didn’t help because both of us had internships. Max slowly became that memory of the past. When other things rose up, loyalty to Max became a thing of childhood. I had no idea when or if, I would see him again.
I learned what seduction was and how to use it, or avoid it as I chose. No one promised anything, long term, in college. After graduation, I returned home to take a year off. My professor at Harvard had promised that she would help me arrange financial help when I decided to return. I thanked her for her understanding.
I found that Max had, also, taken a year off. He was working in an electronic store back home. I got a job in an office and we had a reunion that summer. I was surprised that Max wanted to take things slow. He was tender every time he held me. Six months later, when we were married, we hadn’t yet had sex. This worried me a little. What happened to that wrestling match in the car on prom night? Maybe, there was something wrong with Max. Then, I thought that maybe his feelings were so strong that he wanted to only make love to me after we were married.
That night, when I stood in front of him after our wedding, I could see his interest. His penis was almost ripping his shorts. He approached me and removed my gown. I gazed on his body. Active young men at that age have beautiful bodies. I felt that his strength would be with me always. As we fell into bed, all doubts about Max evaporated. He loved me and he gave me love. His strong arms gave me security. For five years, we had an idyllic life. We both wanted children. but while going to school, trying to make a living and me saving so Max could return to school, there just wasn’t time.
I still thought we had a perfect life. It was when Pam Troy, a girl I had known only slightly in high school, stopped by my table in the Student Union cafeteria and said, “I hear that Max is working with one of his old girl friends,” that a storm developed.
I looked up. “Who would that be?” I asked.
“Why, I though you knew? Max had a torrid affair with Tess Harding in his freshman year,” she replied. I should have wondered, “Why was she telling me this? We hadn’t ever been friends.”
Unfortunately, she planted an evil seed in my mind. I remembered Tess Harding from middle school. She was one of the first of the girls in the locker room to talk about having sex. I later decided she didn’t know nearly as much as she pretended. The eighth grade girls would huddle around her in the locker room as she described the male sex organ. She took everyone’s breath away as she told the things she would do with it. She described orgasms that would have satisfied a Hollywood movie queen. Later I thought she must have gotten these stories from some romance novel. No eighth grade girl could arouse that much interest in a man, especially when that man was only another eighth grader, who happened to be a boy. Still at the time, we all could dream of being able to experience her stories ourselves, even if just for a little bit.
We definitely traveled in different circles in high school. The only time I ever heard about her was when it was whispered that Tess Harding was a couple with the captain of the football team. I never had known about her being with Max. If they had been together, then why was he that clumsy? Hadn’t he learned anything from her?
Pam was a bit of a bitch, but it still bothered me that I didn’t know anything about Tess and Max. “Why, Liz, it is told that she gave Max his first time on the fifty yard line one night,” Pam whispered, “She only dumped Max when she managed to get the captain of the team, that year. Tess told everyone that athletes give better lays. Didn’t Max ever tell you about Tess? I guess now she is back to see if he has improved.”
No, Max didn’t tell me anything about Tess; maybe, because it wasn’t any of my business. What Max did before we got together that summer after college graduation was not something I should concern myself about. I hadn’t told him anything about Sean for the same reason. Still the stories about Tess’s ability stirred an envy, deep within me.
What he was doing now definitely was my business. The fear that, ‘she was checking to see if Max had improved,’ troubled me. I went back to thinking about Tess in the middle school locker room. If she did half what she said she could do, was I woman enough, even now, to compete? Was Max, looking for more exciting sex that, he could have on the side, if he went back to her? I was furious. I didn’t think that if he had wanted something on the side, why wasn’t he more careful about letting anyone know of his philandering?
“Do you think any man could withstand the wiles of a woman that skilled? Now, they are again working together, don’t you worry about what they will be doing?” Those were the parting comments as Pam went about her business. From then on any mention of Tess, or the people Max worked with, caught my attention. I don’t know if Max knew it, but it cut like a knife when he would mention something that Tess Harding had said at work. I was building up a passel of anger towards Max and Tess.
Max
Okay, she threw me out. What was this thing about Sean? I really liked Liz’s friend Maria. I always had doubts about Maria’s cousin. I heard that Sean was back at the college. I kept hearing things about Sean and Liz. Not from Liz, but from other sources. I couldn’t believe that Liz even knew Sean. For her to have been sleeping with him was unthinkable, that is until I talked to Michael one night while sharing a pitcher of beer. My best buddy Michael was sleeping regularly with Maria. They talked about getting married but so far, hadn’t got to that step. Michael and I were sitting in this bar, sharing a pitcher of beer when I asked, “Mike, what can you tell me about Liz and Sean?”
Michael took a sip of beer, as if he was trying to think what to say. “There was one summer when the Parkers were out of town. This was before you guys had started to hang out with each other. Liz was staying with Maria. You know how Maria’s mom, Amy, was. She was always out with some boyfriend. Maria and I were just starting to get acquainted. The whole time Liz was with Maria that summer, they were always together. Maria and I were starting to talk about sex. One night, just before the summer was over, Maria told Liz that she was going off with me. I don’t know how girls talk, but I am sure Liz understood what we wanted. Liz stayed home with Sean. Sean stayed away from me, because I would beat the snot out of him if he didn’t. After that night, I don’t know what happened, but Liz was different somehow. Until she went back home when her parents returned, Maria wouldn’t go out with me alone. Liz seemed distant from Sean. He followed her around like a puppy, but she seemed careful not to be alone with him. She almost seemed to hang onto Maria. I did ask Maria if Sean had done something to Liz, but she said that Liz had told her that nothing had happened,” Michael related.
“Do you think Liz and Sean had sex, that summer?” I asked.
“Max, I don’t know. Besides if they did, it isn’t any of your business, is it?” he asked.
“No, but if they had some affair, then would he be back for seconds, now that they both are grown and experienced?” I asked in return. I continued. “I keep hearing stories about Sean and Liz. I didn’t think she could ever go with trash like him. Now, you tell me that something probably happened back in high school, that, they did something together. At one time, did they have something going on? Are they back for seconds?” Despite Michael’s lack of confirmation, I kept having even more convincing feelings that Sean meant something important to my Liz.
“Max, what about you and Tess? She was a hot piece of ass in the ninth grade.” He stated. “It is said that you are tripping out with her.”
“Michael, believe me, nothing happened with me and Tess, then or now. Back then, I was too naive to understand that she wanted me to screw her. There are many times I wish I had taken her up on what she offered. I made mistakes later that I wouldn’t have, if I had understood and had had more experience,” I told him. “She is just a lady I work with,” I continued.
“What about now? Michael asked. “I understand that Liz accuses you of having an affair with Tess,” Michael stated.
“Is that why she now has been going out with Sean? Is she trying to teach me a lesson?” I asked. “All around work, I keep hearing Liz and Sean. What gives with that jailbird?”
Michael just shrugged. “If she feels you have rejected her, there is no telling what she would do,” Michael stated. “Or who she might do it with,” he concluded.
With that wisdom, I decided to go home. I had had too many beers so I called a cab. I would pick up my car tomorrow.