Courtney
Sarah
Ginger
POM x2
Angelina
Eve
MP
Carolyn
Sara
Jan
Mela3
Cardinal
Ophelia
dreamon x2
Lyrallya
clueless
Wow, thank you so so much for all your amazing supportive feedback. I'm so sorry this took so long, RL pulled me away for awhile but I'm back and I have the next few chpts already written in my head so it won't be long before I update again. Hope you understand the direction I'm taking this, I just couldn't let something slide, it didn't sit right with me. This has to be a difficult emotional transition where he's really struggling to find just who he is now and where he belongs. Thanks again for your patience, really hope your happy with this!
Chapter 9
Max laid in bed for hours that night, his fingers lightly grazed over his lips that still tasted like cherry, peppermint and all things resembling his idea of heaven.
His mind replayed the moment over and over, the feeling of being cornered trapped pinned under her spell, her combative accusations pushing him to the brink, her relentless demanding questions veiled by the sensual dizzying tone of her voice, all of it igniting a fire inside him he could no longer control leading up to something he never expected.
The kiss...
An explosion of emotions that had been locked deep inside him boiling their way to the surface in an all consuming unexpected fiery embrace.
Liz's warm soft body pressed flush against his own hard tense muscular frame, the passion, the heat surging through him, an irrepressible need to have her right then and there against the wall.
It was a just a glimpse, a flash of something so wondrous, so beautiful and overwhelming, it was as if every sense, every emotion was heightened to a place he never knew existed.
The softness of her lips, the exquisite curves of her body, her complete surrender, like free falling, the desperate urgency of how she clutched his arms, her body and how it responded to every move he made.
There would be no fighting it, not that he wanted to, not that he ever could, he was madly deeply undeniably in love.
His mind spun with questions, could she possibly feel the same, or was it a momentary attraction, a meaningless kiss forged from intensified emotions that had gotten out of hand.
The way she quietly whispered '
goodnight' and disappeared left him clueless to her affections, but he couldn't negate the fact that it was the first morning he woke absent of the that sinking feeling of despair.
He was so caught up in his thoughts that he didn't hear her key turn in the lock or her footsteps down the hall.
Afraid of waking him she walked as quietly as she could until she turned the corner of his bedroom and nearly went weak.
Her large brown eyes widened from the sight before her, a small gasp caught in her throat as she gazed down upon him, her feelings for him suddenly seeming more confusing then ever.
The perfection of his body clearly visible from the thin sheet that hugged his strong thighs settling just below the indent of his hips.
She drew in her bottom lip biting it hard as her view moved upwards to the ridges of his stomach to his smooth broad chest and impressively shaped muscles of his arms as they rested against his pillow his hands beneath his head.
She licked her lips as she watched his strong jaw clench and relax, his bare chest rise and fall, his dark black eyelashes flickering up to the ceiling as the morning sun reflected off his golden eyes making them almost luminescent.
She had never seen anything sexier in her life.
Suddenly feeling like a voyeur she stepped back trying hard to balance the coffee and donuts in her shaky hands.
Unfortunately she didn't account for his sneakers that were lying on the floor in the hallway.
Jumping from the bed when he heard the sound of her scream and her butt hitting the floor Max feeling along the walls rushed to her side.
“Liz?!”
The alarm in his voice furthered her embarrassment as she tried to think of an explanation for her unannounced presence.
Covered in coffee she winced as she pulled the wet steaming hot shirt away from her skin.
A husky deep laugh followed by a lick of his finger caused her to loose all ability to think.
“Mmm, hazelnut?” his bright wide smile was so different from his usual solemn and disconnected behavior, everything about him seemed different.
Left speechless as she gazed up at him in nothing but his black boxer briefs Liz quickly averted her eyes and tried to compose herself.
“That's twice now that you've fallen in my presence, just imagine all the times it happens when I'm not around, seriously Liz I think we should look into getting you some protective gear, possibly a helmet or maybe some elbow pads?”
Struggling to stand she slapped him hard across his chest, “Shut it and help me up before you're the one needing the protective gear.”
Furrowing her eyebrows she pulled his shoes from beneath her and placed them in his hands.
“Actually this was once again
your fault, it was
your sneakers in the hallway that I tripped over, I thought we decided to keep them by the door so something like this doesn't happen?”
She tried to steady her voice as he moved all around her feeling for the donuts and picking up the half empty cups of coffee.
Unable to hold back a devilish grin he felt the rush of his old personality coming through, it was a definite high, like fresh cool air had been pumped into his lungs.
Sensing her nervousness he whispered cleverly close to her ear feeling as if the tables had been turned between them.
“Well I assumed that sighted people could navigate around something as large and noticeable as size twelve sneakers, guess I should have made allowances for you though huh?”
He chuckled as another smack to his chest sent her off balance causing her to fall against him.
Huffing clearly aggravated she gripped onto his arms steadying herself. “You know this only happens when I'm with you!”
He smiled inside taking in the familiar scent of her shampoo that surrounded him as she moved closer trying to find her footing.
His muscles tensed as her silky locks brushed against his bare neck and chest, and in a flash he was back in that moment, his eyes slid shut as the memory of last night rushed through him.
His hands buried in her hair, his mouth kissing her hard as he swallowed her quiet whimpers and moans...
He wanted more, he almost needed it like oxygen to breathe, but he wanted it perfect and romantic, he wanted to take her on a real date.
He whispered against the shell of her ear as his free hand anchored around her waist helping her to her feet.
“Guess I was a little distracted last night, I promise to be more careful next time.”
Liz was clearly affected by him but she was confused as to where they stood. What started out as a job she was forced into and could care less about had turned into something and someone that meant everything to her.
She didn't know how do be both romantically involved and his caregiver.
Liz was the last person in the world to make rash decisions, following her heart the night before was completely out of character for her, but now in the light of day she worried that this could be a huge mistake.
He was in such a vulnerable state, and she was the only one he trusted, the only one he even listened to.
She would be devastated if it didn't work out between them, she wondered if he could even recover from that considering what he had been through.
Closing her eyes she lowered her head feeling incredibly selfish, wondering how could she let her love for him come before the responsibility that she had taken on, besides...
Hesitating quickly she took a deep breath as the word she hadn't meant to say echoed in her head.
Lowering her hand from her face her eyes flashed towards him,
love? Her thoughts raced almost as fast as her heart as the four letter word took her by surprise.
“You alright Parker? Don't get me wrong I'm not complaining, usually I can't get a word in edgewise, but you seem...distracted or something.”
Setting the drinks and food on the nightstand he pulled her onto the bed with him and lifted the hem of her shirt placing his hand gently on her stomach.
Leaning back on her elbows she began to tremble, she knew then, it couldn't have been more clear, this wasn't a mere attraction, she was in love.
“Uh, Max … I don't ...”
Raising one side of his mouth he tried to hold back a smile as he released her damp shirt and pulled out a BU sweatshirt from his drawer.
“Relax graceful Gertrude, just checking to make sure you didn't burn yourself, here put this on, your soaked.”
Reaching for a pair of jeans, underwear and a tee shirt he threw a towel over his shoulder and held his hand out.
Confused by the gesture she sat motionless trying not to stare up at his chiseled body.
“Liz, hand me your shirt and I'll soak it in the bathroom sink, I'm gonna jump in the shower real quick.”
Feeling her hesitation he leaned in close to her, his voice was meant to be assuring and calming but his raspy whisper had the exact opposite affect.
“It's ok Liz, I can't see a thing, you could take off all your clothes and I wouldn't be the wiser...remember?”
Again the memory of that kiss was there between them like a whip of fire raising the temperature in the air at least twenty degrees instantly.
Scoffing nervously she raised the shirt over her head and handed it to him.
“Right, I forgot you're perfectly harmless.”
It was meant to be a playful jab, something to break the tension, but as they stood within a breath of each other, both nearly naked, neither one of them laughed.
He couldn't help but reach out and cup her cheek, his fingertips felt so gentle and warm, he stared directly at her with those intense sensitive eyes as if he could see her, and for a moment she felt he actually could.
His touch was completely innocent almost protective in nature, but somehow it felt strangely intimate as if something was happening, changing almost evolving between them.
He felt it too, like unspoken words passing between them solidifying that last night meant something, that it was more then a kiss, it wasn't something he had imagined, she had feelings for him, he was sure of it.
Breaking their silence Max stepped back towards the bathroom releasing her slowly.
“Why don't you take whatever is salvageable and wait for me at the kitchen table, I'll be there in ten minutes, I promise. I have something to ask you.”
Pulling the sweatshirt down past her waist she grabbed what was left of the coffee and donuts and headed towards the kitchen.
Anxious to get her mind on something else she focused her attention on a stack of paperwork detailing his surgery.
Soon Max emerged from the bathroom counting in his head, twenty steps to the counter, kitchen table on the right two steps forward.
He held his head high, actually feeling happy, not worrying about tomorrow or his future, he felt as if he spent a lifetime stuck in that black hole,
no today was going to be different.
He felt good, strong, he even thought about calling Michael to hit the gym the way they used to.
But manly he was thinking of where to take her on their date, somewhere nice, something that would impress her, it had to be special.
She smiled amazed at the change in him, he seemed so much more at ease with himself, as if he was coming into his own, becoming more comfortable in his own skin almost.
He even carried himself differently, she thought to herself as she eyed him up and down.
He was dressed in a burgundy tee shirt and pair of faded jeans with a hole in one of the knees.
His damp black hair was brushed back with a few pieces hanging over his beautiful eyes.
He smelled fresh like soap and baby powder and she couldn't take her eyes off of him.
Taking a seat across from her he plopped down crossed his arms on the table and rested his chin on his fist like a little kid.
“So what's with the early morning visit? Not that I'm not happy you're here but...”
Too elated to hold off any longer she smoothed out the papers in front of her. “I'll tell you in a sec but Max, we have to talk about this surgery, this sounds so promising! I had no idea ... “
Holding up the paperwork she continued to read, her excitement growing with every turn of the page.
“.... Max, this,
this could be ...”
His smile faded as he pulled two small Styrofoam cups from the counter knowing full well that his type of injury wasn't the kind that had the high success rate she was reading about.”It could be nothing Liz, I'm not even sure ...”
His voice drifted off as the doctor's realistic warnings replayed in his head. This was the last thing he wanted to be thinking about right now.
Slumping in his chair he sighed not wanting to remind himself of any of this.
Shocked Liz fumbled through the papers looking for the statistics that had initially caught her eye.
“Sure of what Max? This is amazing! Why aren't you excited about this? I don't understand?”
Dividing what was left of the coffee into the two cups Max reached out for the papers and gently pulled them from her hands.
“Enough of this doom and gloom, this isn't your regular day, you obviously didn't come here to work, so what do you say we have some fun.”
He thought about taking her sledding near the old pond near his house, there was a great old diner that had the best homemade apple pie down the street, then maybe they could hit a small dive bar that was on the outskirts of town.
They had an old fashioned jukebox with real vinyl records, the entire inside was lit with tiny white lights on the ceiling and candles on the tables.
It was completely out of the way, he wouldn't have to worry about anyone seeing him, it was perfect.
He imagined slow dancing with her, holding her close, kissing her again.
He could hardly contain himself.
"Liz, I was thinking, if you weren't busy today - "
Suddenly she jumped from her chair.
“Oh my God that reminds me, I almost forgot why I came here, I have something for you, I found all this great stuff online, I thought it could be really helpful.”
A look of confusion covered his face as he sat back in his chair. “Helpful?”
With excitement in her voice she dumped her book bag upside down on the table.
“Yeah you know, things that can help you adjust, make life a little
easier for you.”
His heart sank as he lifted several rectangular boxes and felt the raised pictures.
His voice was flat as if someone had drained the life out of him.
“What is this Liz?”
Beaming with enthusiasm she pulled her chair closer to him so she could hold her hand over his letting him feel each one.
He wanted to die.
“I found this great site, they sell all kinds of board games for the blind. See they have monopoly, boggle, checkers...some of them you have to know braille, but I took care of that.”
Pushing his chair away from the table his voice hardened. “What do you mean,
you took care of that.”
Sensing his obvious disapproval she softened her voice realizing she may have gone too far.
“Well... I signed you up for a class, at the community center... next to the university.”
“You did what?”
Standing suddenly his chair went crashing to the floor.
“How could you do something like that without even talking to me? No one knows about this Liz...
NO ONE! What if it gets out? What if someone sees my name? How could you do this?”
Taking off down the hall beyond upset Max forgot about the hamper outside his bedroom and tripped falling hard on the ground.
In a second she was there, tears filling her eyes. “Max I am so sorry, I didn't think, I'll call them right now, I'll say it was a mistake. I'm sure no one will find out, I never meant to hurt you.”
Holding his bad shoulder he pushed his back against the wall completely devastated.
“Is this how you see me Liz?! Some … pathetic useless loser, who's life's long ambition is daily trips to the community center on the short bus to play chess and monopoly the with other disabled little boys?”
Mortified Liz covered her mouth.
“God how could I be so fucking stupid!”
Wiping away her tears Liz shook her head. “Max please, please forgive me, I didn't mean any harm.”
Covering his face with his hands he voice cracked with emotion.
“Is that what last night was about? Getting the poor blind kid past the all important denial phase?
What, did you take pity on me or something?”
It had just then occurred to him that she must have known, he had been so focused on the kiss that he didn't stop to remember how she trapped him into proving it to her, into telling her.
He felt sick to his stomach realizing that she probably knew the entire time.
His insides twisted into painful knots as he pushed himself up to a standing position.
His voice was hard and cold as he stared blankly at the ground.
“How long?”
“What? Max, please...”
“How long Liz! How long did you know I was blind? How long did you let me make a fool out of myself fumbling around here like an asshole!”
Walking slowly up to him her heart broke hearing the pain in his voice.
“Max I-I didn't mean, I was just, I thought it was better if you told me yourself. I needed you to trust me ...”
Furious Max held his head feeling like a complete fool.
“So to get me to trust you, you lied to me? Did Michael tell you? Have you known since the beginning?”
Grabbing his shoulders she looked up at him pleading for him to listen to her.
“No, Max please, you have to believe me, he would never do that to you. It was only a few weeks ago, maybe a month, I don't know exactly. I-I just figured it out, I didn't know what to do, I was trying to help you.”
“Get out.”
“Max please! You have it all wrong!”
Trying his best to hold back his emotions he choked a few words out before breaking down.
“Please Liz … just go.”
Slowly she turned to leave but her stubborn streak just couldn't let it go.
"Max, when I came here it was because I was forced into it, but then I got to know you, I saw what was happening to you. Max you were giving up. I-I couldn't sit by and watch you waste away, so I did what I thought was right, I did my best because I cared."
Pushing her back gently he shook his head silently pleading for her to leave.
"You know what? You're right, I fucked up, I fucked up bad, but I tried ... and it wasn't because I felt sorry for you, it was never about that. I kept coming back because I knew you could be so much more... and last night, that wasn't planned, you felt it, you had to have. There is something between us Max, you know its true. Please don't do this!"
Tears filled his eyes as he lowered his head. "Liz, just...
go."
Frustrated Liz raised herself up on her toes laced her fingers through his thick hair and pressed her lips to his ear whispering words she could no longer deny.
“Fine I'll go, but know this Max... I kissed you last night because I love you. ”
Tears rolled down her cheeks as she took off running down the hall slamming the front door shut behind her.
Stunned Max slid down the wall still feeling the warmth of her hands on his neck, her breath against his ear, his face wet from her tears and his heart struck by her words.
I love you.