*
Not an hour later, they were exiting the supermarket when Janelle gave Liz the scare of her life. Usually she was very careful every time they were outside and she always managed to hold one of Janelle's hands to cross the roads or any passage used by cars, but this time since she hadn't thought she was going to buy so much, she hadn't bothered with a cart. Consequently it was with her hands full with the two paper bags containing their shopping that she crossed the parking lot while Janelle walked by her side or a step ahead, clutching to her chest the box of Cocoa Peebles for her father, the only thing she had wanted to carry.
They were almost near the car when Janelle unexpectedly started to skip along as she hummed one of her favorite songs. A second later she twirled around happily, already thinking about what cartoons she would see with her father in the morning this time, and oblivious to her surroundings, she missed the car that was too rapidly coming her way, giving Liz barely time to react before it was too late.
Letting go of her bags, she yelled her daughter's name and gripped her by the shoulders before she could take another step and be run over by the speeding car. Unfortunately, in doing so she lost her balance herself, and they both stumbled backwards, knocking down the young woman who was passing behind them as she had just parked her own car and intended to join the entrance of the supermarket herself. However, at that moment Liz didn't even notice her, since she was definitely more concerned then about her daughter's state to see or care about anything or anyone else.
"Oh, god, Janelle… you okay?… are you okay, honey?" Liz pulled her up and asked, her voice quavering and her heart still beating erratically after the fright she had had.
Frantically she ran her hands all over her child's body just to be sure she wasn't hurt, even if deep down she knew she was alright, and she couldn't help but expel a relieved sigh when she didn't notice any kind of injuries.
"God, sweetie… how many times have we told you to look both ways before crossing a road… or stepping into traffic… or god… anywhere… and even when it seems like there is no car?" Liz then scolded her reflexively before she could stop herself, even though her voice didn't really hold any anger.
She just wanted to make sure that Janelle realized that this could have been avoided if she had done what she and Max had always taught her. She was supposed to do so, even when they were holding her hand and if she had checked this time, she would have probably seen the car arriving and Liz wouldn't have felt like she was going to die right on the spot herself.
"I… I-I'm sorry, mommy!" Janelle whispered, certainly not understanding all the implications of what could have happened to her but aware nonetheless that she had done something she shouldn't have. Her mother only used that tone when she was upset or when she wasn't very pleased with her, which was never a good thing for her. "I'm sorry." she repeated, her bottom lip trembling and very near to tears now.
"No… no, don't cry… shhh, it's okay, sweetie… it's okay… you just scared me!" Liz soothed immediately and smoothed her hair back tenderly before taking her in her arms. The last thing she wanted was to see Janelle break down and cry right now, knowing full well that she would just follow suit if she did.
Hugging her tightly, she couldn't help but wonder though what she would have done if anything had happened to her baby. She had already lost so much, she didn't think she would survive if she had to lose her, too. "Don't you ever do this again, okay?" she all but pleaded then when Janelle wrapped her arms around her neck and hugged her just as tight.
"Is she alright?" the woman Liz had collided into and whom she had almost already forgotten about spoke suddenly, breaking the tender moment and bringing Liz back to Earth.
"Oh, yeah… I-I'm sorry… yeah, she's fine!" Liz replied and for the first time really looked at the other woman.
She was staring back at her and at Janelle with a sincere expression of concern, while she pulled on her dog leash and tried to calm it down, and Liz couldn't help but feel bad.
"Did I hurt you?… Are you alright?" she inquired, feeling a little ashamed that she hadn't even paid more attention to the woman who had cushioned their fall. She really hoped that she wasn't hurt, but as far as she could tell she seemed to be alright, too.
"Yeah, I'm fine… you don't have to worry!" she dismissed quickly with a wave of her hand before turning to Janelle. "Hey, sweetie… you can stroke it if you want… it won't bite!" she told her gently as she saw her looking at her one year old Labrador and thought that the beautiful little girl could probably use the distraction. After all it had been a real close call and if her mother hadn't had such quick reflexes, she didn't even want to think about what could have happened. She could only imagine then how frightened both of them could have been and how much they would want to forget about it.
Unfortunately the instant Janelle stepped forward and reached out to touch it, the dog yapped and she couldn’t help but go and hide behind her mother's legs, apparently more scared by the dog than she had had time to be because of the car.
"Hey, it's okay, Jay… look!" Liz tried to reassure her daughter who suddenly was clinging to her like her life depended on it, and she squatted down to pat the puppy herself when it stopped barking.
It seemed to appreciate the stroke and lay down, putting its head between its front paws as Liz continued her ministrations, soon but hesitantly joined by Janelle who seemed to realize that now it was safe.
Liz smiled as she saw Janelle overcoming her apprehension and finally stroking the dog fur and talk to the animal like it could understand her, but her next question caught her off guard and all too quickly put a damper to her happy feelings.
"Can I have one, mommy?… Can I have a puppy, too?" Janelle suddenly demanded, almost already sure of the answer but feeling she needed to ask nonetheless.
After all you never knew, her mother could be in a good day and accept. Or maybe she should ask her daddy directly in fact if she really wanted one, it seemed to be harder for him to tell her no.
Yeah, she almost instantly thought, if her mother said no, she would just ask her father later. It would probably be easier and she would have more chances to have what she wanted.
"Oh… uh… no, Janelle… you're too young yet, sweetie… maybe in a few years!" Liz immediately denied her request knowing that Janelle would never be able to take care of a puppy on her own right now, and she really didn't feel like being the one to have to do all the job for her.
Much to her surprise Janelle didn't put up a fuss like she expected her to, but Liz knew all too well that there were things that could be much worse than that and so she quickly adverted her gaze from her daughter nonetheless, sure that if she saw her pout or turn up her all too famous sad and begging eyes to her, she would probably cave in the second and go and find her a pup. However if she had known just why Janelle wasn't protesting, she would have probably forgotten everything about pleasing her in any way and asked herself a lot of questions about her daughter's already manipulative nature instead.
Looking anywhere she could but at her, that was when Liz really noticed the mess she had made when she had let go of the bags. Most of the food she had bought had spilled out of them and was now scattered around them on the ground, along with most of the contents of her handbag and the other woman's one and Liz couldn't help but groan at the sight.
"Oh, god… I'm so sorry about this!" Liz apologized once more as she saw her already picking up her things.
"No, it's okay… no harm done!" she smiled up at Liz as she grabbed for her compact and her lipstick that had rolled to Liz's feet.
Following her example, Liz started gathering what she could save of the food. Fortunately most of it seemed to be okay as far as she could see and she hadn't even broken the two glass bottles she had, but she quickly realized that there was nothing to do with Janelle's favorite yogurts if the way they were leaking out of the cartons was any indication. They were absolutely ruined and she really didn't feel like going back inside to get others.
Luckily though, Janelle didn't seem to mind since all that really seemed to concern her was to know if they could keep Max's cereal even if the box had been slightly damaged when she had dropped it.
Once Liz confirmed that as long as it wasn't opened it wouldn't be a problem, Janelle seemed more inclined to help them, too, and so between the three of them it didn't take long to collect everything.
Liz and Janelle lingered there a little longer though, since once she had really gotten past her fear, Janelle didn't want to leave the dog and Liz was all too eager to indulge her, if it assured her that she wouldn't ask for a puppy of her own again once they would be alone. Generally Janelle was the kind to ask for something badly and then quickly get tired of it once she had had it, so she really hoped that if she let her play with this dog for a little while, it would be enough to content her for now.
However when she noticed the other woman looking at her watch, she realized that they were most certainly keeping her from her own shopping and probably making her late, and therefore she did her best to convince Janelle that they had to go as well. Not an easy task of course and it took her some time to manage that, but she was just too glad that her moment with the puppy had made her almost instantly forget about the incident with the car to care. She just wished it could have been enough for her, too.
*
When they finally arrived home Liz was surprised to see her neighbor, Mrs. Petersen coming to greet her with a bunch of beautiful white roses and tell her that they had been delivered earlier around lunch but since she hadn't been there, she had managed to convince the deliverer to let her take them for her. Another surprise was to notice that there was absolutely no card with the flowers, and so Liz had no clue as to who had sent them. Mrs. Petersen joked about the fact that they were most likely coming from her dear husband who probably didn't need a card to let her know he was thinking about her. She even asked her if she hadn't forgotten about an anniversary or some special event, but unfortunately even if she didn't know it, she only succeeded in hurting Liz even more than she already was with her reasoning. In fact Liz almost cringed at the irony of the situation. Next year she would have a special reason to remember this date all right, only it wouldn't be a good memory.
Of course she tried to mask the pain as best as she could and as she told her that she highly doubted they were from Max, the woman concluded that she had to have a secret admirer who was too shy to reveal his identity. However Liz quickly dismissed that thought, too, wondering afterwards if that scenario wouldn't be even worse than anything else. She was so not ready to deal with some stalker or someone who thought that sending flowers anonymously was fun. Personally, if it were someone she barely or didn't even know, she found it kind of creepy, even if Mrs. Petersen herself seemed to think it was kind of cute.
As she put them in a vase and started to put away her shopping, she tried to not think too much about who the mysterious sender could be, but honestly she couldn't help but wonder nonetheless. Despite everything that was happening, a small part of her wanted to believe they could come from Max, but the logical part of her brain kept telling her that it didn't make any sense.
Though Max was one of the very few who knew that white roses were her favorite flowers, she couldn't see a reason why he wouldn't have wanted to let her know he was sending them. Besides, considering what had happened the same morning, he was certainly the last person in the world who would want to please her or send her flowers. Unless of course he had been really sorry after their fight and all the horrible things he had told her and that was his way of apologizing. But why not say so then? Why not have a few words written down? The lack of card only seemed to complicate things.
What was she supposed to do now? she couldn't help but wonder as she prepared Janelle her afternoon snack. If they were from Max, she appreciated the attention of course, how could she not, but how was she supposed to thank him if she didn't even know for sure? How would he react if she suddenly thanked him for something when he didn't know what she was talking about?
More importantly, if he weren't the sender, would he care at all to learn that someone else was sending her her favorite roses? Or would he just be happy for her and pleased that she was apparently moving on, too? That was probably what he would deduce if he knew she was receiving flowers and that on the same day she asked him for a divorce. Maybe he would think that someone else felt like celebrating at the news, which seemed a totally stupid reasoning in her opinion, but she wouldn't put it past Max to come precisely to that conclusion and imagine the worst, moreover with the opinion he seemed to have of her now.
Now the question was: did she want him to think she was moving on or not? Considering his reaction this morning, she would rather not. It would only complicate even more an already complicated and tense situation. Besides, she wasn't sure how she would react if he insulted her again, or even less if he was simply indifferent this time. Once was hard enough. Twice would probably kill her.
In the end so, she decided to play it safe and that the better attitude to adopt when she would see him then was to do like she had forgotten about the bunch. If he confirmed he had sent it and asked her if she had liked the roses, she would answer honestly, but if he didn't she wouldn't take any risk and therefore she wouldn't talk or say anything about them either. Knowing Max if he had anything to do with it anyway, he would probably downright ask her or at least drop a hint or two to know what she had thought about it if he saw she wasn't going to be the one to start talking about it.
That seemed easy finally and yet it had taken her nearly twenty minutes to just figure that out. It was little wonder then that Janelle was now calling her name and looking at her like she was wondering if something was wrong with her when she had spaced out for that long and hadn't even noticed that she had already finished with her peanut butter and jelly sandwich, or that she was apparently waiting expectedly for her to say something.
"What about you and I go and put our swimsuits on and we head to the beach for a while?... Would you like that?" Liz proposed out of the blue when she realized that she would just go crazy if she stayed there dwelling on the situation or just waiting the rest of the afternoon for Max to come.
Besides, she really needed to find a way to occupy Janelle until then, otherwise she was sure that the girl would ask every other minute about her father and when he would be arriving, and she didn’t think she would be able to stand it. The beach seemed like a good idea then, moreover since being there had helped to soothe her nerves earlier and she was really hoping it would have the same effect on her again this time, too.
"Can we?… Really?" Janelle asked hopefully, already bouncing up and down at the prospect.
They had a pretty big pool in the backyard, though she didn't have the right to go there and swim if there wasn't an adult with her, but the beach was always more fun to her. There she could play with the sand, build castles, sometimes she could even bury her father under tons of it -although she seriously doubted her mother would be as ready and willing to let her do that with her, too, today even if she asked gently- or she could also play in the water all she wanted if she stayed by the shore and where she could be clearly seen. So if there was a possibility they could go there right now, she didn't even need to be asked twice for her answer.
"If you're up to it… yes!" Liz replied, smiling at her daughter's enthusiasm. However the smile faltered slightly at her next question.
"But we won't miss daddy if we go there, right?" Janelle nibbled on her bottom lip and couldn't help but ask nonetheless as the thought crossed her mind. She really wanted to go, but if that meant that they wouldn't be there when her father would come, she wasn't sure it was a good idea after all.
"No, we won't, sweetie… I promise!" Liz answered honestly, knowing that one way or another they would have to be home by the time Max was due to arrive. Otherwise she was pretty sure Janelle would throw a fit if she missed only one precious minute with her daddy. "What we could do though is to prepare some sandwiches and take some drinks with us and that way we could eat there just before coming back. Then you'll just have to shower and put your pj's on and I'm sure that by then your father will be here, ready for your movie evening… Would that be okay?" she added trying to find a way to really reassure her.
It was the best she could think of to be sure they could really enjoy some time at the beach without having to rush back here, make her eat and prepare her for the time she would have to go to bed. It would have probably been kind of late for her by the time they started the movie if they planned to let her see it entirely, but knowing her daughter, she was pretty sure that Janelle would be asleep before the end of it anyway so she didn't have to worry about it. What worried her more actually was to know that after that, she would find herself alone with Max and that she wouldn't be able to postpone the discussion she knew was coming any longer.
"Yes… thank you… thank you!" Janelle beamed excitedly and immediately wrapped her little arms around her mother's waist to hug her tightly, before running up the stairs to go and search for a swimsuit.
While Janelle was up changing herself, Liz prepared a basket full of food for the two of them, and soon after she was joining her. Once she was dressed, she then helped Janelle searching for her beach toys and when she was sure they had not forgotten anything, they were out of the door and in the car once more, ready for their girls' afternoon.
Liz could only hope that Janelle would enjoy herself and that seeing her daughter happy would be enough to take her mind out of her problems. It usually worked quite fine, but with her impending meeting with Max looming just over her head and all that it could imply or change in her life, she wasn't sure this time. It seemed very unlikely she would be able to think about anything else in fact.
She knew all too well that her future depended on that next encounter and though she didn't know anymore what she should or could expect of it, she just hoped that whatever they did, whatever they decided, everything would be alright and that they would be able to discuss things like the two adults they were supposed to be and not hurt each other more than it was necessary, or more than they already had.
But unfortunately and though she didn't know it yet, once more Fate seemed to have other plans for all of them.
End of chapter five.b
Next chapter… we finally learn more about the infamous Monday 
Nope, even auto-persuasion doesn't seem to work, so I guess we all know what that means. 
(next time I'll try hypnosis and maybe then I'll succeed in convincing at least myself, lol. )
I decided to just overcome it and go for it… hoping you'll not hate me afterwards 
why not grab them both and smack them together… maybe the closeness will help them 
… I promise I will make up for this later 
… you know me better than that' 
... was it bad? hmm... I think my head wouldn't have hurt me more if Nicholas had been mind-raping me non-stop