Author: Ashleyt
Summary: Isabel is on the run with the rest of the gang after the events of Graduation and she needs the help from an old love about her feelings towards a new one. This is an Incrowder/StarGazer fic.
Rating: Teen
Disclaimer: Don’t own ‘em. If I did Season three would have been so much different. Ditto on the ending of Season two.
Note: I really wanted to do a conversation between Isabel and Alex but seeing as this is a canon series and these characters didn’t get their happy ending in the show, this was a great way to have both I/A and I/K together and not have it be weird
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Another night on the run, another sleazy motel
Sighing as she ran her hand over the sheets on her bed, Isabel Evans, previously known as Isabel Ramirez, was thankful that she had powers that prevented her from sleeping on sheets that could only be cleaned using blue light.
It was just after dawn and after spending a week on a camp site, the girls had had enough of roughing it. A lengthy battle had gone down, girls against boys but had quickly been resolved when Maria announced that if she had to spend another night in the woods a certain alien would have to go a week without getting any. With that Michael fell and after Liz agreed that she too would be with-holding, the boy’s side crumbled.
Kyle had griped about loving the outdoors and how weak Max and Michael were. But he ultimately caved as well and now here they were, not at a Ritz but at least they had indoor facilities.
Isabel smiled as she recalled Kyle’s facial expression go from smug to defeat in the span of thirty seconds. Who would have thought that Kyle Valenti would become her best friend? It’s true that they both gravitated around each other before the shooting. She was one of the most popular girls in school and he was a major jock, so they were both invited to the same parties and nominated in Best Looking categories.
Yet Isabel was certain that they would have never gotten the chance to get to know each other if Liz hadn’t been shot sending them into the teenage sci-fi drama that had been their life before they left Roswell.
She smiled as she remembered the moments they’d spent together after Alex’s death, pulling pranks and just having fun. She’d never thought she would have found both a confident and a friend in another person after she lost Alex but she had. That and so much more.
Alex
The thought of him always followed with a string of emotions. Love, sadness, pain, anger and lastly guilt.
Always guilt.
Guilt for not realizing how much he meant to her until the end. Guilt for forcing herself to move on so quickly with Jesse. And the reason for her latest bout of guilt; her feelings for Kyle.
Kyle was everything she’d never had with Jesse and never could have again with Alex. He was her friend first and foremost; her best friend. And he was also what she desired in a man. Strength, humour, thoughtfulness, patience and good looks (which was always a plus). But most of all, Isabel felt safe in his company. In his arm it was as if the world faded away and there was only the two of them.
These issues were the root for her current situation. She wanted to move forward with Kyle but was afraid. She knew he wanted to be with her as much as she wanted to be with him but how could she with her track record with men?
If they didn’t die than she left him. What type of legacy was that to have?
Hey guys, that Isabel Evans is a looker but stay away or you’ll end up dead or alone
Isabel laughed a bitter laugh as she lay on her freshly cleaned sheets. On her back with one hand behind her head, she reflected on her lot in life. Destined to be “with” her brother, her struggle to hold onto her family as both Michael and Max fell in love, meeting the only other girl in the world like her, the constant battle over the right to tell her mother the truth, Khivar, Tess’s betrayal, Alex’s death, her marriage...so much had happened in three years. Yet here she was three years wiser and still stuck with the same vulnerability issues.
Dumb
“Now you and I both know you’re the smartest hybrid around”
Turning onto her side, Isabel was face to face with her biggest mistake and regret. Brown eyes met with hers and even though it had been about two years, it was still hard to believe and accept that he was dead.
“Alex”
“Hey babe. What’s this about you being dumb?” He asked all smiles and warmth, like she remembered.
“You’re a part of my subconscious right? Then you should be able to explain it all to me, Dr. Whitman”
Smiling he laid back copying her previous pose, “Well it seems to me that you’re beating yourself up over things in the past that can’t be changed. The past is just that- in the past”
“I know that” She sighed “I just can’t help thinking that I’ve screwed this up so much before, how do I know I won’t do it again?”
“You don’t”
She smiled as she watched him “Thanks for the words of wisdom”
They lay there in silence and Isabel was comforted with the knowledge that he hadn’t gone away like he’d said he would when she accepted Jesse’s proposal. He had reappeared as soon as their troubles began as if he’s never disappeared. But today his appearance sent a shiver of trepidation down her spine.
That’s when the show dropped.
“You know why I’m here Isabel”
She froze as she fought the urge to hold onto him in hopes to keep him on this plane.
“I’m a figment of your imagination that you won’t let go of. It’s not fair to either you or Alex’s memory to have me here”
She sat up on the bed, sputtering “But, but with Jesse you said the same thing and here you are”
He sighed as he sat up facing her “Jesse wasn’t the right person for you and you knew it. It was easier to push yourself into a relationship so soon after my death. You needed to feel loved, even though you had to hide who you truly. Ask yourself why you didn’t let Jesse come with you?”
Isabel’s hand went to her mouth as she faced the truth she’d known all along.
“It was easier to leave him behind because you knew in the end that you didn’t really love him enough. Sure there was love there but not the kind that either of you deserved. Not the love you find yourself surrounded with”
Her thoughts turned to her brother and Liz then to her other brother and Maria. Truthfully, what she had with Jesse was nothing in comparison to the feelings and emotions that she could sense between those couples.
“What would you have done if Kyle chose to stay in Roswell or go on his own journey separately?” Alex asked her.
“I would have made him stay with me-us.” She attempted to joke but as that was the truth it fell flat.
“This is why I can’t come back” He finished with a sense of completion that she’d noticed was absent from the last time he claimed he wouldn’t come back and it brought tears to her eyes. She’d said good-bye to him so many times. Too many.
“Alex- I. I’m so sorry that knowing me ended your life and for everything that I’ve ever done to hurt you” She rambled as she wrapped her arms around his waist, burying her face in his neck at the same time.
He pushed her away gently “There’s nothing to apologize for. You and I both know that you made my life worth living, no matter how short it was. You have nothing to feel guilty about Isabel. Alex, the real Alex, is happy when you’re happy. Have you been happy lately?”
She shook her head as the tears continued to flow.
“So be happy already!”
She couldn’t help but laugh through her tears “I’ll miss you”
“He knows”
Isabel nodded and linked her fingers in his until his body started to shimmer and fade away.
“Alex?”
The door opened as the last of Alex’s image blinked out of existence. She looked up to see Kyle, closing the door. His hands full with plastic bags of what smelt like heaven.
“Hey so I went out and got you a turkey sub, just the way you like it. Oh and for desert...Joe Louis baby!”
He looked up from the food and took in her expression. “What’s wrong? And were you talking to someone?”
Isabel sniffed at the tender look on Kyle’s face and pulled him close, tossing the food on the floor.
“I’m okay, now. I was , ummmmmmm. Well it’s hard for me to admit but I was talking to Alex”
At his unbelieving look, Isabel cleared her throat. “I’ve never told anyone about this but after Alex died I would see him. And we’d talk about...practically everything”
“Wow” Kyle said, his tone more accepting than before
“Yeah, and I’m sad because he said he’s not coming back”
“Why not?” Kyle asked as he pulled her into his arms.
Isabel closed her eyes as she drew strength from Kyle and his warmth.
“I don’t need him anymore”
The End
