The Wrong Decision (Ma/Mx Ma/Mi) Adult COMPLETE 12/10

[gnrkrystle]

Disclaimer: I do not own Roswell...obviously
Coupling: Maria/Max, Maria/Michael
Rating: Adult
Summary: Can true love stand the test of time? Find out.
A/N: This Fic came to me as I was listening to Anna Nalick's Breathe. Alex is Dead and Tess is on Antar. After Tess left, Max decided to break up with Liz because he realized that he slept with Tess because he was no longer in love with Liz.
A/N 2: This is the re-write for my fic "A Twist of Fate"...i'm re-writing all of my fics because they were poorly edited and not very well written. Because i'm fixing previously written fics, i should be able to update every day I hope you enjoy.



Prologue:


May 18, 2012,

My name is Maria Deluca-Guerin and as I look at my driving companion as he takes me and my sleeping child away from the past, I cannot help but smile. I should be shaken up, but I’m not. I'm in love.

He is the love of my life. My rock. The only man I love or will ever love. Age has changed him, and yet he still maintains the boyish good-looks and swagger that he had 10 years ago, when I first fell for him. I remember it so completely. He made me alive. He loved me as completely as I love him. He still does.

As I lean back and relax, I know he will keep us safe. He is ever mindful of the road ahead of him. He keeps both hands on the wheel. He is so different than the man I’m used to. Yes, he is different than my husband. He doesn't yell. In fact he had never raised his voice to me. My love is an open book, despite his attempts to close himself off. Not at all like my husband who built up stonewalls that I had only begun to knock down.

How can I describe in words what this man means to me? How much I love him? It is impossible. All my body and soul I have given to him, but that is not nearly enough. Our love has sustained ears of heartache and miles of separation. But in words on this page, I cannot tell you what Max Evans means to me. So I will end this journal and begin my new life with the man of dreams. My love.

Maria.




Chapter One:

February 2002

Maria's POV
**********

God, I do not want to go to school today! Senioritis is majorly kicking in. Plus, I have to deal with Liz fawning over Max. And him, desperately trying to put it to her nicely, that he just wants to be friends. They have been stuck in this awkward place since Liz ran off to Florida after hearing of Max’s “destiny.”

Oh well, I have to get up anyway. I might not have huge ambitions, but working at the cheese factory is about the bottom on my list. The moment I get out of bed the crappy day will start. Michael will pick me up. We will go to school. Hold hands. Make out in the eraser room for 2 periods. Finish the day. Then, come back to my house and have sex. It's always the same. I, unlike Max, don't have the metaphorical “balls” to tell Michael that I’m no longer in love with him.

Yes, I care for Michael, but it’s not the same anymore. I am not in love with him the way I was a year ago. Maybe I never was in love with him. Maybe it was always the passion and excitement that has me hooked, not Michael himself. But it took a lot for him to open up to me. I can't tell him that I, now, want to be just friends, when I know that he wants and needs more from me.

I meet Michael outside at his car. He wraps his arms around me. I try my best not to tense up. I succeed.

As we walk into the school, hand-in-hand, I spot Max and Liz at Max's locker. Oh great. Liz is probably at it again. Poor Max. We make our way to the two of them. I wonder where Kyle is he usually helps me distract Liz so Max can breathe. Must be a football thing. Wait. Is it even football season? I don't know. Anyway, this is that start of my day.


Max's POV
*********

I see Maria and Michael walking toward me. Thank God. Some relief from Liz's insanity. I’ve told her, every different way I can think of, that we are better as friends. As far as Liz is concerned, since Tess is gone, there should be nothing in the way of us getting back together. The problem is, I don’t want to be with Liz. I’ll always care for her, but she is not right for me. I can just feel it.

"Hey," I say to them.

"Hello," Maria says as she detaches herself from Michael and gives me a hug. No matter what I'm dealing with, Maria can always make me feel better. "So, what's up? Are we still hanging out tonight?" she asks me, biting her lip in anticipation.

Now, I do not remember us planning anything for tonight. But I can see her giving me those pleading eyes, "Yeah,” I say. I definitely don't have a problem hanging out with Maria. It might seem strange, but Maria and I have gotten very close over the last year. She is just so full of life, its impossible not to be reeled in by her. She makes everyone’s day brighter.

Maria and Kyle are actually the only two people I can deal with anymore. Isabel is wrapped up in herself and, of course, Jesse. Not that I begrudge her the relationship. I’m happy that she is happy. Liz has become permanently attached to my ass. And Michael and I haven't been the same since Alex died. Only Maria and Kyle have remained true friends, to me at least.

Maria smiles one of her beautiful smiles at me and she and Michael make their way to class. I grin back at her, unable to stop myself.


Maria's POV
**********

Thank God Max caught my drift. I'd much rather hang out with him than spend the night with Michael. It really isn’t Michael’s fault. I just feel so much more comfortable with Max.

We finally reach my class. "Bye, baby," Michael says as he leans in and kisses me.

"Bye," I say with my sweetest smile. He’s so sweet to me. I wish I could return his feelings. What’s wrong with me that I can’t just love the man who loves me back?

Three classes go by and I continue to not pay attention to anything the teachers are teaching. As I’m walking by the eraser room, Michael pulls me in. I’m not really surprised because this is now a daily ritual of ours. As uncomfortable as my feelings for Michael make me, this is a better alternative than an hour of Trig class.

His lips crash down onto mine. Let's be clear, I enjoy the kiss. Michael has an amazing tongue, and I’ve taught him how to satisfy me in almost every way. But I don't have the emotional connection and chemistry that I once had with him. We have no passion.

I feel his hands all over my body. "I love you," he says between kisses, and I say it back. What am I supposed to do? In a way I do love him. But not in the way that counts.

We spend an hour in there. Sometimes we have sex. But not today. I just can’t get myself in the mood for some reason.

When we leave, we head to lunch with Max and of course, Liz. I know it sounds like I don’t care for my former best friend. It’s just that she has become so obsessed with getting Max back, its like the person I used to know is gone for good.

Max looks annoyed again and Liz is completely oblivious. I squeeze between them, much to Liz and Michael's displeasure, and save Max. He smiles at me in thanks.

Finally, Kyle joins us. I love Kyle. It's weird. Two years ago, Kyle was just a weird stalker of Liz Parker. Now, he was the moral fiber and rock of our decaying group. He’s got the best advise, the kindest words, and the most level head out of all of us. Buddha must be doing something right.

“Hey, Kyle," I say to him as he slides into his seat.

"Hey, Ria," he says with one of his famous smiles. What am I going to do without him next year when he goes off to college?

Then I turn to Max, "So, What's up tonight? My mom's out of town and she has the car," I say with a frown. She’s spent at least 8 of the last 10 months out of town actually. Usually she leave the car with me, but she said she needed it this time. Sometimes she wished her mother and Jim were still together because then she wouldn’t be gallivanting around the country fallowing losers. Maria missed her mom being at home. It sucked to be alone.

"Well, why don’t' I just take you home. Then we can figure it out from there." he says to me. I couldn't think of a better idea than that. Michael looks kind of annoyed, but I know he’ll never say anything.


Max's POV
**********

Well, I feel better. I’m hanging out with Maria tonight and Liz won’t be there. I can finally talk openly with someone. Which is exactly what I need. Not only do I have Liz issues, but I’m also worried about college and the future. Maria always helps me find perspective when I’m freaking out.

My next two classes crawl by. God! Four months until Graduation. I wish I could get out of here now. It’s not as if I need to go to school to learn this stuff. I’m an alien. I can learn this information in half the time it takes my classmates. Of course that could have a little more to do with the fact that West Roswell High isn’t exactly the home of future Rhode’s Scholars or anything.

Finally, the last bell rings. I make my way to the parking lot, carefully avoiding my locker, where I know Liz is waiting for me.

Will she not take a hint? Oh well, a few more months an I won’t actually have to see her anymore.

I walk out to my car and I see Maria sitting on the hood of my Chevelle. Damn! She looks hot, sprawled out like that on my car. Whoa! Where did that come from? It’s not as if I’ve never had the occasional fantasy about Maria. I mean, look at her. But she’s such a good friend and she’s with Michael so I’ve never let it get further than that. Besides, I had a fantasy about Mrs. Allen in Trig class too, once. I’m pretty sure all it means was that I am a man. Either way, Maria looked hot sprawled out on the hood of my car.

Maria jumps off the car as I reach her. "Finally, this school day is over," she said with a dramatic sigh.

I grin at her, "Yeah, I thought I was going to have to run out of the building screaming.,” I laughed.

We drove to her house. It's amazing how at ease I feel with Maria. No matter what, she makes me forget all of the Roswellian drama. I think that is one of my favorite things about her. From the beginning, Maria never let the sci-fi crap get in her way. She dealt with situations as they came, and she never dwelled on the bad. In that way, she an I are so different.

I thank the powers that be that Liz left last summers ago for Florida. Otherwise, Maria and I would never be as close as we are now. In a round about way, I guess Tess coming to Roswell was a blessing in disguise as well.


Maria's POV
***********

I change my clothes quickly. I put on some tight, low-rise jeans and a pink tank top. I bounce down the stairs to Max. Its crazy how Max can make me bounce. He’s great to be around. He treats me like an equal and values my opinions in a way Michael never really has. It’s not his fault, its just that Michael doesn’t know how to be a team player.

Hanging out with Max is nice. He is serious, but not every thing with him is life and death. Sometimes his seriousness reigns me in, most of the time I’m helping him break out of his shell. We work well together.

He smiles when he sees me. "So, what are we doing?" I ask, "Sorry, to drag you into hanging out with me tonight. I just couldn’t deal with everything." I say, careful not to disclose what, exactly, everything entails. Max always wants to help me with my problems, which is adorable, but there is not fixing this problem.

Max rolls his eyes. "Common, Maria. What would I do if I wasn't hanging out with you? Watch TV all night?" She smiled, knowing that it was true. If Max wasn’t with her or Kyle, he wasn’t doing anything. That made me feel good. It was nice to know that Max really wanted to hang out with me..


Max's POV
*********

I could tell that Maria had something on her mind. "How about we grab some food and go to Blue Moon Canyon to talk?" I suggest.

Her beautiful eyes light up, "That would be great!" she answers hugging me.

I follow her out the door, careful not to watch her ass as she walks to my car. Well, I am still male.

TBC...

[gnrkrystle]

Chapter 2



Maria's POV
***********

As we make our way out into the desert I can't help but think about how my relationship with Max has grown. It's weird, but he is the best thing to happen to me. Cheesy, I know. But true. No matter what is going on in my life, he can help me through it. But more than that, Max and I can sit in total silence with each other and not be bored. That’s a quality that is hard to find.

I used to envy the relationship Liz had with him. Not that I wanted him, but that she seemed to always get the guy and I got second best. I know it sounds ridiculous. But now I don’t envy her. I got the best part of Max. His friendship. He was the best friend anyone could ever have. All she has is his resentment now.

I look over at him as if seeing him in a new light. He’s hot. I’ve always known this. I mean, I’ve got eyes. But he’s more than that. He’s gorgeous. Actually, he’s beautiful, both inside and out. These thoughts confuse me because, while I’ve always known Max is hot, but for some reason, today I’m taking special notice of it. I shake the thoughts aside as we pull up to Blue Moon Canyon.

"I love it here," I say to him., breathing in the desert air.

"I know. I love it here to." He answers thoughtfully.

He lays down a blanket next to the car and we sit down with our food. From Senor Chow's of course, because I just don’t think that Max could deal with the Liz drama right now. Besides, I eat Crashdown food almost everyday. I don’t need anymore.

We eat quickly. I'm starving. I didn't eat much lunch. Actually, I didn't eat breakfast either. I feel like I’m inhaling my food. Max just laughs and offers me the spicy mustard.

As we sit in comfortable silence, I can tell Max has something on his mind. I’m willing to bet it has something to do with the vibes I’ve been giving off for the last few days.



Max POV
********

I want to know what is going on with Maria. So I just ask, "So, what is up, Maria?"

She looks down. "What do you mean?" she asks. Trying to avoid my eyes.

I use my index finger to lift her face to look at me. She can never lie when she is looking at me. "I mean, what is going on. I'm not stupid. I know something is bothering you. Now, tell Dr. Evans what it is." I say with a grin. She has been unhappy for a while now, I’ve noticed, but lately it seems to be getting worse.

She grins back, "I don’t know what's wrong with me, Max. Its Michael." she says and looks down again. "I don’t love him, Max. I'm not sure if I ever did. The only thing I’m sure of is that I don’t love him, but I can't break his heart."

I process what she has just told me. I would be lying if I said I didn't expect this. I saw her distance from him lately. Luckily, Michael seemed to be oblivious. But he was like Liz in that sense. He never caught on to anything. "Well, what happened?" I ask, trying to get some clarity. People don’t just fall out of love for no reason. I wonder what set it off?

"That's just it. I don’t know. I just am not in love with him. I don’t have the same chemistry that I use to have with him. I feel like there is something better out there for me. I know there isn't. I know that this life is the best I can do, but I can't help it. I can't relax when I’m with him." She confesses, jutting her bottom lip out in an adorable pout-face.

I hate that Maria has such low self-esteem. She is smart and funny, not to mention beautiful. Its amazing to me how she can make so many people feel better about themselves, myself included, but she can’t do the same thing for herself.

"First of all, Maria, you can do better and secondly. Why don’t you talk to him?" I offer. It didn't seem to be working for me, but maybe Michael would be able to take a hint better than Liz.

She shook her head, emphatically. "No, I can't. He needs me. I will be fine. It's just that some days it is all too much to take. Today was one of those days."

My heart goes out to her. She’s too sweet for her own good. I wish I could take all this crap away from her. I wish I could take her away and we could just be happy together. Wait. Did I just think about being Maria's prince charming? Where is all of this coming from? Fantasies are one thing, hopes for a relationship were something different.

I open my arms for her. She leans into me and I wrap my arms around her. Nothing feels better or more natural. I like being her protector. If that is wrong, then I’ll just have to live with it.



Maria's POV
**********

I love being in Max's arms. I don’t know why, but he makes me feel safe in a way that no one else can. Not even Michael. I listen to his heart beat as he holds me. I know this seems like an intimate position for “friends” to be in, but it’s not an uncommon one for us.

My body is reacting to his touch as I feel myself grow hot. What is wrong with me today? Yes, Max is hot. Yes, he is my best friend. But that does not give my body the right to go all crazy on me. That’s not to say that I don’t like the way Max’s touch makes me feel, its just that it’s wrong. I’m with Michael and Max deserves better than a girl like me, who can’t even get out of a bad relationship.

It's getting dark and I’m cold in my tank top. I should have brought a sweatshirt. Max's arms help, but I still can't stop a shiver from escaping my body as the cold air touches my skin.

He turns me around, "Oh God, Maria. Look what you are wearing. You must be freezing. You want to head home?" he asks me with such caring in his voice.

That is the last thing I want. I want to stay here with Max forever. I shake my head, "No, I’ll be fine. I just want to stay here with you for a little while."

He pulls off his jacket and wraps it around me before I settle back into his arms. It was something small, but it was also something that Michael would never think to do.



Max's POV
*********

Did she just say that she wanted to stay with me? I'm over thinking this I know. This is just a fluke. I don’t have feelings for my best friend. But damn she feels good in my arms. Whatever, cold shower for me tonight.

We sit there for another hour, just watching the stars. We can always do that. Sit in silence, just enjoying each other's company. It’s a beautiful thing.

When I drop her off at home, I ask, "Are you sure you are ok by yourself?" I hate that she is along all the time. I know Michael is usually there with her. That makes me feel a little better, but still. How can her mother really leave her alone this much?

She rolled her eyes and nodded at me. "I'm fine Max. I'll see you tomorrow at school." she said.

Before she goes in I call back, "Maria, I’m here if you ever need me." I mean it. She smiles and I leave. I know she will come to me if she needs anything and I love that.



Maria's POV
**********

I get inside and shut the door. I need to talk to Kyle. He’s the only person in the world who can help me figure out all these weird feelings. I pick up the phone. "Hello? Kyle? Can you come over?" I sound like a maniac on the phone, but I need to talk to him right now.

Of course he can. He is my best friend next to Max. Have I mentioned that I love Kyle? He will figure this all out for me.



Max's POV
*********

I get home and lay on my bed. I think I’m in trouble. Maybe I should talk to Kyle tomorrow. He will know what to do. Maybe it’s just a phase. No, I know its more than that. I like Maria DeLuca, and I probably have for a while. It just happened to hit me like a ton of bricks tonight.



Kyle's POV
*********

I'm kind of worried. Maria seemed a little panicked when she called. So I throw on a shirt and head to her house. It's only a few streets over, but I drive anyway. Firstly because I’m lazy and secondly because I know Maria is alone and could be in trouble.

Of course if she were in real trouble, she would have called 911, do its probable not an emergency. I wonder what’s up. Maria has been a little off lately. But that’s been mostly toward Michael. And of course things aren’t the same with her and Liz. But that is because Liz has gone all stalker on Max.

I feel bad for Maria. She had to choose between her best friends when Max and Liz broke up. But she chose Max and I think she made the right decision. She never turned her back on Liz, she wouldn’t do that, but Maria definitely had Max’s back. So do I.

In my opinion, Max and Maria are the only people I have, besides my dad. Michael and I have never been close. Liz is a different person. And Isabel is with Jesse all the time. Maybe after the honeymoon period, she will be more apart of the group again.

I pull up to Maria's and walk inside. I don’t need to knock. I know she is on the couch waiting for me.



Maria's POV
**********

When Kyle walks in, I smile at him. That was fast. He must have driven. "Hey Kyle," I say getting up and hugging him. I'm trying to hide the panic in my voice, but as usual Kyle cannot be fooled.

"What's up, Maria?" he asked guiding me to the couch.

I look down. Well there is no way to say this, but to say it. "Well, I should start by telling you that I’m not in love with Michael anymore." I say and wait for a reaction.

"Well, that was kind of obvious, Maria. What isn't obvious is why you are still with him." Kyle says. Damn him and his Buddhism for knowing everything.

"Kyle, I can't leave him. You don’t understand. He needs me. He needs a rock. And I’m that rock for him." I say. But I know this argument could go round and round, so I switch gears on him, "But that isn't what I needed to talk to you about."

I take a deep breath and go for it. "Kyle, I think I have feelings for Max." I say and look away before I can see his reaction. I don’t think I want to know. Of course I do, that’s why I called him.



Kyle's POV
**********

Whoa. Ok then. That was kinda out in left field. But now that I think about it, not really. I mean, they are always together. And I've seen the way Max looks at Maria. Sometimes he looks at her like she is an all-you-can-eat buffet.

I hadn't really noticed it coming from Maria. But come to think of it, they always lean on each other. She had been doing that more with Max lately. Kyle was the go-to man for advice, and Max was her shoulder to cry on. They were opposites, but that what was made them work together so well.

"Well," I start, thinking of a way to put my words together, "Is that such a bad thing?" I ask. I mean, if they both like each other, and she doesn't love Michael, why not go for it. Sure, it would cause drama within their decaying group, but it wasn't like they were exactly drama-free these days anyway.

Maria's eyes widen. "Well, yeah. Kind of. I don’t know,” she sighed and shook her head at me.

“Max is my best friend. He's Michael's best friend. He's Liz's ex-boyfriend. Stop me when I get to a good reason to like him. This is probably just a fleeting hormonal thing, and I do not want to ruin my friendship with him and my relationship with Michael for a fling." She tells me.

I don't believe either of them are capable of a fling. Max and Maria are so intense they wouldn’t do the one night stand very well. "Look, Maria. I don’t know what to say. I see they way he looks at you, and I think feelings are reciprocated, but I know that you don’t want to ruin your friendship. It makes sense. Just remember that you might not have a second chance to explore your feelings for Max."

What else can I say. I would love it if Max and Maria got together, but only they could make that decision.



Maria's POV
***********

I think about what Kyle said. He makes sense. But the bottom line is that I can't break Michael's heart. I just can't do it. "I can't break up with Michael.” I explain, “ I know that you might not understand it, but he has been there for me in ways that I can’t explain. It is only right that I be there for him.”

"Well, that is a choice you have to live with Maria. I support whatever you do, but just don’t sell yourself short." Kyle returned.

He doesn't understand. I don’t deserve Max. I am lucky to have Michael. More than that, I know that Michael can’t make it without me. Its not conceit, it’s just a fact.

We say our goodbyes and I think Kyle for coming over. Tomorrow, I will just forget about these feelings for Max. I will see him as a friend and nothing else. It’s not as if he feels the same way about me. I don’t care what Kyle says, Max could get anyone he wants. Why would he want to be with me?




----------------



Max's POV
*********

I haven’t been able to find Kyle yet. I know he has gym this period though, so I’ll wait for him in the locker room. I just can’t wait any longer. I need some third-party perspective.

Kyle comes to his gym locker in just a towel. "What are you doing here, man?" he asked me.

"I have to talk to you about something." I say. I don’t know exactly how to word this. Thank God there is no one else I the locker room. Kyle sits down to listen. "I think I want to be with Maria." I say finally. I wait for him to hit the ceiling. He’s probably going to think I’m a horrible person for lusting after my friend’s girlfriend.



Kyle’s POV
**********

Are you kidding me? Did I just step into the twilight zone? Now, I was pretty sure that Max had some "more than friends" feelings for Maria. But what are the chances that he would tell me this, the day after Maria confesses that she may have feelings for Max. They must have had some “date” last night.

“Well, are you going to say something?" he asks me impatiently. I snap out of my daze.

"Yeah. It's just. Nevermind..." I start. I don’t think I should talk about what Maria said last night. It’s really not my place. If these two are going to get together, then it shouldn’t be with my meddling.

"No, tell me, Kyle. Tell me that I’m a horrible friend that when I hold her because Michael has pissed her off all I want to do is kiss her senseless." he says, running a frustrated hand through his hair.

"No, I don’t think you are in the wrong. It's just. Ok, Max if I tell you something, you have to promise that you won’t tell Maria." I say. Yeah, I’m about to get myself into some deep shit. A little meddling might be exactly what this situation needs.



Max's POV
***********

I wonder what he is getting at. "Ok, I swear not to tell Maria." I promise.


I wait for him to spit it out, and he finally does. "Well, last night, after you dropped her off. Maria called me. I came over and we talked. The thing is, Max, she has feelings for you too. She thinks they are fleeting and she is confused. But she refuses to break up with Michael. She thinks he needs her." Kyle finally says.
It takes me a full minute to wrap my mind around what he’s just said. She likes me. Oh my God! Maria has feelings for me too. Oh God, that might be worse. She isn't going to do anything about her feelings. She is going to keep them bottled up. We are going to drift apart. It is going to get awkward between us. I can’t let that happen. "What do I do Kyle?" I ask. I know he will give me some much needed perspective.

"You want to be with her. You are sure this isn't a lonely thing." Kyle asks me.

"Yes I want to be with her. Kyle, not to play myself up, but if I just wanted a girlfriend, I’m pretty sure I could get one." It's the truth. Ever since I broke up with Liz, girls at West Roswell High have been following me around like lost puppies. I noticed, but I didn’t care. If I was going to be with anyone, it was going to be someone worth my time. That person was Maria DeLuca. The more I think about it, the more I realize my feelings for her.

"Then, I think you should try to pursue it. But just know that it wont' be easy and she is going to want to fight you." Kyle said.

I know that. She wouldn’t be Maria if she wasn’t hard headed. "I know," I say to him, "Thanks, man." I say with new-found confidence. I could do this.

"No problem. Just don’t hurt her." Kyle said. I know he cares for Maria like a brother. I respect that. I'd never hurt her. I can tell he knows that too.


TBC...

[gnrkrystle]

Chapter 3



Maria's POV
***********

I don’t know what to do. I've been thinking about what Kyle said. It kept me up half the night. Maybe I should just talk to Max. I mean, he’s my best friend. That had to count for something

No, that won’t work. He will just be weirded out. I would never be able to make it through the rest of the year without Max, so endangering our friendship was not an option. God, why couldn’t I get my stupid hormones under control?

I walk to our lunch table and sit next to Liz. I never sit next her, mostly because I’m busy protecting Max from her, but I think sitting that close to Max wouldn’t be a good idea. It would send my hormones into overdrive.

Michael sits next to me and rubs my inner thigh as we eat. I can’t tell he is frustrated from no sex for two days. I guess I’ll have to make that up to him tonight. Maybe it will get my mind off of Max Evans at least.



Max's POV
*********

Maria isn't sitting next to me. I wonder if that has something to do with what Kyle told me this morning. Damn. I need to talk to her. If we are not going to explore our feelings, I at least I couldn’t lose her friendship.

Maybe if I tell her how I feel, she won’t be so scared. That’s it. She’s probably just scared that her feelings are unreciprocated. Let me tell you, they are totally reciprocated. I just need to talk to her.

I can see she doesn't love Michael. She’s told me as much. I know they have a past, and he will always be her first love, but I could be her best love. God, Max, could you be anymore cheesy?

Jealousy is ripping thought me. I don't like it, but I can’t control it. I know Michael gets to have Maria the way that I want her, and she doesn’t even love him.

I need her. I don't know why I didn't realize it before. I guess I was always jealous of Michael's relationship with Maria. I just never realized it was because I have feelings for Maria.

When lunch is over, I run up to Maria and pull her aside. She isn't looking at me in the eye. "Hey, can I talk to you?" I ask. She nods and I lead her to the nearest empty class room.

"What's up?" she asks in an uneven tone. She’s looking at me with nervous eyes and it breaks my heart. We shouldn't have this wedge between us.

I'm just going to go for it. Like ripping a bandage off. "Look, Maria. I like you." I tell her in one breath. God, I sound like such an idiot.



Maria's POV
**********

Oh God! This is not happening. I don't know if I can control myself if Max has the same feelings for me that I have for him. I don’t want him to like me. Then again, the fact that he feels the same way I do makes me feel warm all over.. I'm torn. I can't control my thoughts.

What are the odds? What are the odds that the day after I have this epiphany about my feelings Max would tell me he likes me too? Did something happen last night that neither of us realized at the moment? Has it been going on for a while? My brain is going a mile a minute. I can feel my hands shaking, and I don’t know what to do, or say.

"Say something," he said looking up at me anxiously.

"What do you want me to say?" I ask him looking down. I don’t know what to say. This isn’t a good thing. I may like Max, but him liking me is only going to make trouble.

"I want you to tell me how you feel about me." He says. I could punch him.

He is going for the jugular. I am angry with him for putting me in this position. . "What do you want to hear," I almost yell, "That I couldn't sleep last night because I was thinking about you? That last night, when you dropped me off, I wanted you to kiss me? That I never feel more alive than when I’m in your arms? That I’m so fucking confused, I don’t know whether to kiss you are smack you?" I yell at him, forgetting that we are in the middle of school. I'm so confused and it is all his fault. Okay, that isn't fair. He didn't make me have feelings for him. He is just more honest than I am.

I'm yelling now and I feel tears creeping up into the corners of my eyes.. Then does something I don’t expect. He grabs me by the shoulders and kisses me with everything he has.

Wow. That’s the only word to describe it. He wraps his arms around me and his hands are warm against the exposed skin of my back. I kiss back before I can control my body. My skin feels on fire an I pull him closer. His tongue slips in between my lips and I message it with mine. If feels so good. God. I could kiss him forever.

But I don’t. I pull back suddenly. What have I just done? "Why are you doing this?" I ask him with tears in my eyes. It is going to be so much harder to never feel that kiss again. Sadly I’m less confused than before. Now I know, I have strong feelings for Max.



Max's POV
*********

Why? Because you make me need you! I think to myself. But instead I tell her, "Because I feel the same way. I'm confused, but I know how I feel. And I know that you feel the same thing. I felt it in that kiss." She’s running and I need to do anything to get her to face her feelings.

"No, Max. I may have feelings for you. But that is irrelevant.” She says, shaking her head, “I can't be with you. Stop making this hard for me. I’m with Michael. And anyway, in a few weeks, you will have this infatuation with me out of your system and then where will I be?" She is crying. I can’t believe she thinks like this.

She thinks that these feelings are fleeting. I know differently. I know I’ve never felt like this before. "Maria, don’t run from this!" I plead with her. If I can’t get her to open up to the idea of an “us” I’m going to lose her. I can’t lose her.

Maria wipes her eyes and says, "I have to." The she walks out the door, leaving me to collect myself. I stand there stunned for a few minutes. I hadn’t exactly expected her to jump into my arms. I know her too well. But I hadn’t expected that.

I think I just ruined my best friendship. I'm such and idiot. This isn't over. I know Maria has feelings for me. I just need to make her see that it is ok for us to be together. I can’t give up. Even if it takes forever. I’ll get her to see that we need each other.



Maria's POV
**********

Michael is driving me home now. I figure it's a good time to spend some one-on-one time with him. Its been a few days since I’ve given him my undivided attention. Hey, maybe I won’t think of Max.

Oh, who the hell am I kidding? I've been thinking about that kiss since it happened. What could she do though? Michael was safe, and he needed her. Max couldn’t ever love me because he was way too good for me. If I pursued anything with him, I would get my heart broken and I would lose Michael too. It might sound selfish. Who am I kidding, I know it is selfish, but I need them both.

We pull into the driveway and I look back at him, "You gonna come in?" I ask with a wink. I can tell that he is excited. He's been waiting for this for two days. Usually we are fairly regular “fuckers,” even with the lack of passion in the relationship. Then again, I’m obviously the only one who has noticed the passion is gone.

"Are you kidding?" he almost screeches and nearly races me to the house. I laugh at his excitement. Once, inside, he grabs me into his arms and carries me to my room, kissing everywhere along the way.

He lays me on the bed, gently. His hands and mouth are everywhere, and, while Michael has mastered the art of foreplay, with a little instruction from yours truly, I can't help but wish it was Max ripping my clothes off instead of his second in command.

Oh my God, Maria! Get your shit together. You have a man. One who loves you. Stop obsessing about something that can't be. Focus on the man in front of you, eager to be inside you.

"Oh Michael," I sigh, on cue, as he enters my body. I’m fucking Michael, but my mind is a million miles away, and focused on other things.

I try to focus on the task at hand, and I succeed, mostly. I'm still thinking about the Max situation, but I do manage to come with Michael, moaning his name as I do. I consider myself talented to accomplish such a feat.

As we lie there, next to each other, I watch Michael sleep. He really is good to me. I need to just get this silly fantasy of Max out of my head. From now on, I'll just make it clear that I’m with Michael and I want to be. Even if I do have to fib a little.


TBC...

[gnrkrystle]

Chapter 4

April 2002

Max's POV
*********

Over a month has passed since I told Maria how I feel. Two months and 15 days to be exact. I know exactly how many days its been because that is how long I’ve been in hell.

She won't even look at me. She barely talks to me. We never hang out together anymore. She sits in between Liz and Michael everyday at lunch now. I almost wonder if I should have never told her about my feelings for her. But I know I needed to. I know now that I can't just be friends with Maria. I need more. I haven’t given up hope on having more with her, either. What can I say? Hope is eternal.

It has been torture watching her with Michael too. She’s practically flaunting their relationship. If she is trying to make me jealous it is working. I can see the truth in her eyes, though. She wants me the same way that I want her. I'm not being egotistical or narcissistic. It's just a simple fact. I can see it there. She is afraid. That is why she is clinging to Michael. Maybe a little part of her is trying to push me away too. Well, not going to happen.

I need to get her back. Well, not back because I never really had her to begin with. But you know what I mean. Today is the day. I'm going to make Maria see that we need each other. Michael is out of town doing a job for Mr. Parker. I'm taking my chance. If, after this she still doesn’t want to admit her feelings, I don’t know what I’m going to do.

As I drive to her house to “confront” her for lack of a better word, I see Maria sitting on the roof of her Jetta at Blue Moon Canyon. It’s our place. I pull up next to her and cut the engine.



Maria's POV
**********

Oh God! What is Max doing here? I can't do this. I came out here to think. Of course, I’m thinking about Max. He is all I can think about. But I know I’m doing the right thing. Him showing up here is doing nothing to help my resolve. There is a reason I haven’t been alone with him since that kiss. Its called self-preservation!

He gets out of the car and I hop off the roof of mine. "What's up?" he says. He is so casual it makes me want to slap him. How can he be so cool and collected when my heart is doing back-flips?

"Nothing," I say as coolly as I can.

"Maria, we need to talk." He says. I’d been expecting this for a while now.

“Why?" I ask, "Max, stop doing this to me. It's already hard enough! Stop torturing me!" I tell him as tears spring to my eyes. Damn my treacherous eyes for betraying me.

Max puts his arms around me and I don't know if I can stop him. I start to pull away, but the feel of his skin against mine is too much to resist. I lean into him, just slightly.

"Don't cry, Maria. I don't want to hurt you. I just want you to see that I need you. I love you, Maria." He says, looking up at me like a deer in head lights.

Love? What? Since when is this feeling love? Is that what I feel? I don’t know. I'm confused. Again. I know that what I feel for him is all consuming and powerful. Is that love?

I finally give into his touch completely, letting him envelope me in his arms. I can’t help it. This has been a long time coming. He rubs my back and I let him. Unable, or unwilling to stop him.



Max's POV
*********

I finally told her I love her. Of course, it made her cry, which is not so flattering, but it’s a start. I can tell that she needs this. If she has felt even a fraction of what I’ve felt, her emotions must be eating away at her. I hold her tightly to my chest, running my fingers through her golden hair.

Finally, she looks up at me with tears in her eyes, "Max, I want this. I really do. But I can't. I can't break up with Michael. You know how he is. He needs me. I’m the only one that can keep him grounded. You know that."

I know that, to an extent, she is right. If Maria broke up with Michael, he would do something crazy. He’d definitely leave town, and probably break something, or someone. But I’m not willing to give up that easily. I love Maria. And I know that she loves me to, even if she doesn’t realize it. Maybe we can work this out somehow, so that she can explore her feelings with me, and still keep Michael grounded.

"Maria. I can't be without you. Now that I’ve realized how much I love you, I need you. Maybe we could still be together." I offer, not at all sure how I’m going to make that work out.

Did I just suggest that Maria and I see each other on the side? I must really be in love. Or really be stupid.



Maria's POV
**********

Is he saying what I think he is saying? I can't cheat on Michael. Or can I? I mean it would be the best for everyone. Michael would have me, like he wants me. And I could have Max like I’ve wanted him for two months. Am I really considering this? There is no way it could work, could it?

"What are you saying?" I ask him to make sure I’ve heard him correctly.

“You know what I’m saying." he says as he tightens his hold on me. His voice is more confident than when he first suggested this crazy plan.

"You really think we can do that? See each other and not tell anyone?" I ask more myself than him.
"I don’t think we have a choice. You won’t leave Michael, and I can't live without you." Max said. My heart turns to putty in his hands and I’d agree to almost anything at this point.

"I don't think I could live without you at this point either,” I say. “Being away from you all this time has been killing me." It’s completely true. Every day has been an internal battle not to run to Max and tell him how much I want to be with him.

He leans down and captures my lips with his. I stand there in a euphoric daze. I think I love this man. I don’t know how I didn't figure it out before now. Even if this plan is destined for failure, it will all be worth it for kisses like this one.


Max's POV
**********

There is nothing in this world like kissing Maria DeLuca. Liz doesn't hold a candle to her. I wonder if that is because I was never in love with Liz. I can actually physically feel the difference between infatuation and love now.

I know that this arrangement Maria and I had decided on sucks. It does, completely. I don’t like it at all. But if having Maria means that I have to share her, than share her I will. Besides, I know that I’m the one she wants to be with.

I break the kiss long enough to get much needed air. I wish I didn't have to breathe. I wish I could kiss Maria forever without stopping. Part of me that is scared that Maria will see that this arrangement we have just concocted will probably not work. I'm scared that she will run away from me again and not look back.

"Max," she says looking up at me with a slight smile on her beautiful lips.

"What?" I ask looking back into her eyes.

"I think I love you, too.” she says.

My lips turn up into a smile and I’m on cloud nine. Nothing else in the world matters. We are the only two people in the world. She loves me and I love her, and that is all that matters.


Maria's POV
***********

I wonder where we should go from here? Should we continue to make out in the desert? Should we call it a day? How are we going to see each other without everyone else knowing? There are so many questions that we haven’t even discussed. We managed to avoid each other without the others noticing anything, except Kyle of course, but how can I been near Max and not touch him after that kiss? After knowing that we love each other?

"Where do we go from here?" I ask him as we sit on the hood of my car, wrapped in each others arms.
He thinks for a while. "We can make meetings. We can plan times to see each other. And at school and with Michael, Liz, and Isabel we can just stay as friends. I know it will be hard, but we can do it." He says to me. It sounds sneaky and I don’t really like it, but I have no other choice.

"What about Kyle?" I ask, noticing he didn't mention Kyle’s name.

"I think Kyle is going to notice anyway. Maybe we should tell him. That way we have one friend to talk to about this." Max suggests.

It makes sense. And I have no problem with Kyle knowing. He is my friend before Michael's, so he wouldn't tell anyone. Of that, I am positive. "Ok, that sounds good." I say. "You want to talk to him tonight?" I ask. It seemed now was as good a time as any.

"Yes, But first, lets go to your house and spend some time alone." Max says with an evil grin. I have no objection to that. We had spent too much time apart as it was. Besides, his kisses were intoxicating.

We climb in our cars and head to my house. I already feel lost without him. At least it was temporary.



Max's POV
**********

At Maria's house we don't move any farther than the couch. We lay there, limbs entwined, kissing and touching one another. I know this has been a long time coming. I kiss her as if I will never kiss her again. I want to take things slow with her, doing everything right. As much as my body begs to feel her completely, I know that it will mean more if we wait on the sex.

Besides, I'm a virgin. I know it sounds cheesy, but I want my first time to be romantic. Not on Maria's couch minutes after deciding to “date.” I can tell she feels the same way. I can see into Maria's soul. I know what she wants and what she feels. She wants to take this slow. But we can't help but kiss one another passionately and thoroughly. I need her. She needs me. For now, that is enough.

You have no idea the kind of strength it took me to pry myself from Maria's warm and loving embrace when she told me it was time to head over to Kyle’s.

"We have to go," she said with a grin when I didn’t move off of her. It was the first real smile I’d seen on her for days. I finally sign and roll off the couch, helping her up with me. I hope Kyle doesn’t think I’m nuts when we tell him of our “arrangement.”


Maria's POV
**********

I wonder what Kyle is going to say. He will probably think we are nuts. Who am I kidding we are nuts. At the end of the day, though, I know Kyle will support us. He always has, and he always will.

Kyle plops down on the couch in front of us, ready to hear what he have to say. He’s got an amused look on his face, and he chuckles before asking, "So, what’s going on? You guys are actually talking to each other?"

Max looks at me and begins to speak, "Maria and I...We...We are going to be together." he finally says. I’m glad he took the lead, I had no idea what I was going to say to Kyle.

Kyle takes a minute to process what Max just said. "How does Michael feel about that?" he asks. I knew that was going to be the first question, as it should be.

"Well, we aren’t going to tell him," I say, finally. It sounds so stupid when I say it out loud, probably because it is really stupid. From the look on Kyle's face I see that I need to explain, "I can’t break Michael's heart. He needs me. So I’m going to stay with him, and Max and I are going to be together in secret." Stupid, stupid, stupid. It is amazing what love can make you do and say.

Max squeezes my hand in affirmation that what we are doing is ok. "Hmmm," Kyle says thinking about it. I bite my lip, in anticipation of his reaction.

"And you are sure that Michael will never find out." Kyle asks. I can tell he doesn’t think this is going to work. That’s okay, neither do I, but I have no other options.

"If we are careful, he will never know until we are ready to tell him. Once he has gotten over some of his issues." Max said. He sounded more confident than I felt.


Kyle's POV
**********

I think they are crazy if they think Michael will ever get over his issues, especially if he finds out they have been going around behind his back. I don’t think they understand what they are in for. But I care about Max and Maria very much and I support them. I just think they are going about this whole thing the ass backwards way. Then again, who am I to judge? I’m in love with a married woman.

"Ok, this is what think," I start. I can tell I have their full attention, "I know that you two love each other, and I know that Maria doesn't love Michael. We are on the same page there. Here is the place I foresee a problem.” He took a sip of water from the cup in front of him before continuing, “Max, it is going to be hard for you to watch Maria with Michael. And to not look suspicious, she is going to have to continue to do the same things she doing this him now.” That was a nice way of saying she was still going to have to have sex with him. “I don’t know how you are going to get past that. And Maria, what if Michael never moves past his issues? Are you and Max going to be together on the side forever?"

They both looked at each other and thought about what I said. Max was the first to speak, "I'm not going to lie. The thought of Maria in bed with anyone, including Michael is not pleasant and I don’t want to think about it. But if that is what it takes to be with her, then I’m willing to deal with it." He was a stronger man than me, because that thought would kill me if I loved Maria.

Then Maria answered, "If it came to choosing who I had to be with, I would choose Max. But I don’t see why I need to cause anymore trouble between them right now. If Michael never grows up, then I'll have to leave him." Which begs the question, why not just leave him now, but Maria is stubborn, and I know that I’m not going to get anywhere with this argument.

I am still not sure, but I know that I’m going to have to let them make their own mistakes, so I say, "Ok, well any time you need someone to talk to, you know where I am." I’m pretty positive that they will need someone on their side to even possibly make this work.

I can tell they are happy that I am on their side in a way. And I am, I just wish Maria would leave Michael. That’s a mistake she is going to have to make for herself. I say goodbye and they leave. I hope I’m wrong and this works out for them, but I’m not so confident.



Maria's POV
**********

I feel so much better. It's nice to know that Kyle is on our side. But as Max drives me home, I still can't help but wonder how this whole arrangement is going to work. I really just need to get over all of my fears and go for it. I do love Max, and I don’t want to hurt Michael. So this is for the best.

I say goodbye to Max as we reach my house and give him a long kiss goodbye, happy that it won’t be out last.

"Do you want me to drive you to school tomorrow?" Max asks me.

"Better not. I have to drive Michael home tomorrow." I say, leaving out the details. See, Michael was already becoming an issue.

"Oh," he said. I can tell he is hurt and it is killing me. But he was the one that came up with this idea. He knows I love him, and only him. I can’t help but want to comfort him.

"Max, don’t worry. No matter what I do with Michael, I’ll be thinking about you. I love you." I tell him. His face lights up every time I tell him I love him and I love that.

"I know," he says, "I love you too. I'll see you tomorrow." he says and kisses me again. Then he drove off.

As I slip into bed, I think about Max. I can't believe how today took a turn for the better. It started like every other day for the past two months with me feeling like crap because I was being so mean to Max. It ended it with a confession of love for Max and a new arrangement that would allow us to be together. It wasn’t a perfect day, but it was pretty damn close.

I really do love Max. I've never felt so alive as when I’m with him. I drift off to sleep remembering his hands on my body, it’s the first good night’s sleep I’ve gotten in months.


Max's POV
*********

As I lay in my bed I can't stop thinking about Maria. She is so perfect. I know. Everyone has their flaws, but when I’m with her, I honestly can’t think of one. Well, maybe the fact that she cares too much about Michael's feelings. Then again. can't fault her for that. She has a beautiful soul.

I also can't help but think about her with Michael, as much as I don’t want to. She is going to drive him home tomorrow. I know that means they are going to have sex. I know this, because before Michael and I drifted apart, he made it a point to share his sex history with me. I also know that if she doesn't continue to sleep with him, he is going to get suspicious.

Kyle is right. I hate the idea that they are going to be together. But what can I do? I do know that she loves me. And I know she doesn't want to sleep with him. So I guess I’ll just have to deal with it. One day it will be me inside her, not him.


TBC...

[gnrkrystle]

Chapter 5


Maria's POV
**********
It has been a long day. The only thing that has gotten me though it has been my few classes with Max. I can't kiss him like I want to, but just being near him set me at ease. Plus, we passed notes all through English class, so I didn’t have to listen to Mrs. Allen ramble on and on about God only knows what.

But now, I'm with Michael. I'm driving to his apartment, where we will have sex and I will think of Max. If it is possibly, the thought of fucking Michael is even harder now than it was before Max and I met out in the desert. But I know that I can do it. I haven’t been in love with Michael for a long time now. At least I have someone else to imagine on top of me this time.

We enter his apartment and he leads me to the bed room. I sit on the bed and he comes over to me. He starts undressing me and I undress him. "I love you so much," he says as he kisses me and pushes me back on the bed.

I just moan. I don’t know if I can lie to him right now. It’s all too much. I pull him down on top of me and he enters me quickly with a sharp moan.

We have sex, and each time he thrusts into me, I wish it was Max filling me. I know Max is a virgin, so it will probably be a long time before we actually make love. But I make love to him in my mind each time I’m with Michael. When Max is ready, I know it will be amazing.

I can't come this time. As Michael spills his seed inside me, I fake my orgasm, keeping my eyes shut so as to not give away my lie. It reminds me of the time that I faked the flashes with him 2 years ago. Only this time, I’m not going to tell him I faked it. I’ve learned a lot since then.

"I need to get home." I tell him after a sufficient amount of cuddling. "I have a lot of homework." I lie.

Reluctantly, he rolls off of me and I leave, my hands shaking both in fear of Max’s reaction and anticipation of seeing him again. I head immediately to my house where I know he will be waiting. I see his Chevelle. There is he is, as promised. I smile when I see him. He hops out of his car and meets me at the door. "Hey, baby." he says and leans in for a kiss.

I back away, pushing my hand in front of my mouth. I don’t want him to kiss me until I can take a shower and brush my teeth. "What's wrong?" he asks, hurt.

"Nothing," I assure him quickly, "I just want to take a shower and brush my teeth first." I tell I see in his eyes that he does understand. "Oh, ok." he says, simply, as we walk into the house.



Max's POV
*********

When she comes out of the bathroom, about a half-hour later, she is wearing the tiniest little shorts and a tank top. I think the girl is trying to kill me. I stand up from the couch to greet her and she smiles the sexiest smile I’ve ever seen.

“I feel much better,” she says, and I can tell she means that in more ways than one.

“You...you look great,” I say, feeling like a dork, unable to find my voice.

“You want to watch some TV?” she asks. To tell the truth, there are a lot of other things I could think about doing right now that do not involved the television, but I don’t want our relationship to be physical only, so I just not and motion for her to join me on the couch.

She snuggles against me, and I smell her cinnamon shampoo. It’s intoxicating. “What do you want to watch?” I ask.

She cocks her head to the side, the way she always does when she’s thinking, “How about Gilmore Girls. It’s pretty unisex.”

I just nod and smile. She could have me watch 4 hours of paint drying, and as long as I was with her, I’d be content.


Maria’s POV
***********

I’m sure Max had something a little more sexy in mind for the night, but looking at my relationship with Michael I can see that one big mistake I made was to focus too much on the physicality of the relationship without exploring the more important parts. For instance, Michael and I could never watch TV together because all he ever wanted to watch was Hockey.

I like just being with Max, even if we aren’t touching. Of course, I’d rather be touching. The fact that he’s willing to sit down and watch a Gilmore Girls Marathon with me seems tiny, but its important to me.

“So, you never told me,” I started, turning to face him as the DVD player loaded. “Did you decide on a college?” It was a conversation they were going to have to have eventually anyway.

Max cleared his throat and said, “I got into Santa Fe State, Roswell University, Northwestern, and NYU.” He explained.

“Which one do like the most?” I ask him. I wonder if he’s given any thought to where I might be next year. It’s selfish, and I’d never want him to put his education on hold for me, but I just wonder.

“Honestly, whichever one is closest to you,” he said, looking at her in the eyes.

“Max,” I say, taken aback by his honesty, “I want you to go where you want to. If I have to move for you, then I will. But you need to go to the school that’s best for you,” I tell him seriously.

He smiled at me. “Then Northwestern.” he said. “That’s where I really want to go.”


Max’s POV
**********

We actually didn’t watch much of the Gilmore Girls. Though the parts I saw, I liked. We spent most of the time talking. It’s not like we needed to get to know each other, because we all ready knew each other intimately. But with our new relationship, everything seemed new and exciting.

I love that Maria and I can talk about anything. I love that she understands me in a way that not even Isabel or Michael do. I always thought the reason that Liz and I were together was because I loved that she represented my human side. The fact of the matter is that Maria embraces her “humanness” more than anyone I’ve ever met.

Liz was always shut off, and cautious. Maria isn’t. I love that about her. I love so many things about her. I think Maria and I balance each other. Liz and I were too serious, too careful. Only with a girl like Maria would I even consider this clandestine arrangement we have. I’m glad I’ve taken the leap of faith. So far it is paying off with large dividends.

Leaving her that night was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. But my parents would be a little suspicious if he just didn't come home.



May 2002

Maria's POV
***********

Weeks passed like that. Well, not exactly like that. But pretty close. On weekdays, I'd go to school, throw Max looks here and there. I’d feel his hot gaze on me and shiver under his eyes, happy that he knew me so intimately. Then I’d go to Michael's apartment, or he'd come to my house depending on if my mom was home or not. We'd have sex. Sometimes I would stay with him for a little while. Sometimes I would leave right after.

Either way, I nearly always met up with Max later. Actually, in 3 weeks, there have only been 2 days that we haven’t been together. Those two occasions had to do with a frazzled Mr. Parker and a packed Crashdown.

On Weekends, it is a little harder for us to be together. We have a lot of obligations to our friends, so alone time is hard to come by. Typically, on weekends, I spend the morning with Max and the night with Michael, mostly because Michael was used to me staying at his apartment on weekends. That is the hardest part. Sleeping in his arms, when I really just want Max's around me.

Occasionally, at school, Max and I became more bold and spend a few classes in the Eraser Room. We hadn’t gotten past kissing and heavy petting, and it was killing me, but I respected his wishes to take things slow. And to tell you the truth, it was sort of romantic to be with a guy who wanted to take things slow. Michael had never been that way.

That's where we were today. We really shouldn't be doing this. It's not safe. But our judgments becomes somewhat fuzzy after two classes in a row, right next to each other with the inability to touch each other.

As I step into the Eraser Room, he pulls me in and I locks the door behind me.


Max's POV
************

I quickly wrap my arms around Maria. She feels so perfect in my arms. I've been thinking about this since she sat next to me in biology, her leg gently pressing against mine. She was teasing me, and I know it. Actually, I love every second of it. She’s the most sensual person I’ve ever laid eyes on.

"Oh, baby," she moans as I move my hands up her body and gently over her nipples. I fondle them through her shirt, ever so lightly. I know I’m turning her on, because her nipples are rock hard and she is breathing heavily. She throws her head back and moans softly, and I can’t think of a more beautiful sound.

We still haven’t slept together. Partially I’ve waited because I want to take things slow, and partially because I’m a little nervous. She’s so much more experienced than I am, and I want to live up to expectations. I think I’m ready now, though. I'm not sure if she wants that yet, but I know that I’m ready to take the plunge with her. "Maria, god, I want you." I whisper as my mouth moves over her earlobe.

She pulls back and looks at me with intensity in her eyes.


Maria's POV
**********

Does he mean what I think he means? I look at him in the eyes and see nothing but lust and love. "What are you saying, Max?" I ask him just to make sure. I’ve been holding back to respect his desire to take things slow, but if he is ready then I’m more than ready.

He grabs my hands and kisses them, "I don't want to rush you, but I’m ready to make love to you. I want to be inside you." he says to me, never moving his gaze from mine. Only Max Evans could make a proposal for sex sound so sweet.

I grin from ear to ear. I can’t help it. Rush me? Hell, I’ve wanted to make love to Max since we first kissed. "Max, God, you don't know how much I want that too." I say as I lunge at him, kissing him hard and fiercely.

"Mmmm," he groaned, "Are we still meeting at my house today?" he asked. His parents were out of town, and since Isabel didn't live there anymore, they had the house to themselves.

"Of course," I say. Wild horses couldn’t keep me away from him today. Considering what we are about to do, I can't have sex with Michael today. It would cheapen what Max and I have. "I'll tell Michael I don’t feel well today.” I tell Max. “I can drop him off and then head over to your house.”

I can see him trying to mask his joy. I know he hates it when I’m with Michael. And who can blame him. He has to watch his girlfriend pretend to love his former best friend. It’s got to be torture.
"I love you," he says crashing his lips down to mine.

"Mmmm me too." I say, "I'll see you right after school."


--------------



Max's POV
*********

I practically race home the minutes the bell rings. I know it will take Maria a little while to get there. She wants to go home and take a shower and whatever. I just want to make sure that everything is perfect when she gets to the house. I know this isn't her first time, but if I have anything to say about it, it will be the best time.

I set up candles around the room and change my sheets. It might sound cheesy, but this is how I want it, and I know Maria isn’t afraid of a little romance. We have been dancing toward this for at lease a month now. I just want it to be special for her, I know it will be for me. Who knows? Maybe this will be a huge step forward for us.

Just as I got everything set up, the doorbell rings. That's got to be Maria. And if it isn't. I'm killing whoever it is. I don’t have the time or patience for anyone else.

I open the door to see Kyle standing before me. "Hey, Kyle," I say in a disappointed tone. And a sigh.

"Nice to see you too, buddy." Kyle laughs, letting himself inside the door.

"No, it's not that." Max explain, "It's just, Maria is on her way over.” I hope he understands what I’m getting at so I don’t have to explain it to him.

"Ohhhh," Kyle said, nodding his head and grinning up at me. He’s loving seeing me so frazzled and nervous.

"Shut up," I say, rolling my eyes at him. He’d be nervous too if he were in my shoes.

"I’m just messing with you,” he says,. “Look, Max I just came by to see what you were up to, but I should be going." He makes his way to the door and I know he had to suppress a giggle. It was just too funny for him seeing King Max as nervous as he was about sex. Yeah, he can kiss my ass.

I practically slam the door in his face and as I’m walking up the stairs again, I hear the doorbell. Ok, if that is not Maria, I may actually commit justifiable homicide.


TBC...

[gnrkrystle]

Chapter 6


Maria's POV
**********

Max looks so hot when he opens the door for me. He always looks good, but today it is different. Today, we are going to make love to one another, like we’ve wanted to for months. I'm was going to finally be able to have sex with the one man that I love more than anything else. I wouldn’t have to imagine, anymore, what it would be like to have Max inside of me.

"Hey baby," I say as I give him a quick kiss on the lips. He closes the door behind me and locks it. I know he is nervous. I can see his hands shaking and his Adam's apple bobbing up and down. I can see it in everything about him. He's shifting his weight as he stands there. "We don’t' have to do this, Max. I can wait until you are ready." I assure him. I want him badly, but if he isn’t ready, I cam totally willing to wait. I want this to be right for both of us.


Max's POV
*********

Ready? Oh, I'm more than ready. I'm just nervous. I can’t get this idea out of my head that I might not be “good enough.” I want this to be perfect. I want to live up to her expectations. Unlike her, I have to compete with someone else. I know I shouldn’t be thinking about things like that, but I can't help it. What if I’m not as good as Michael? Oh, stop it Max. If she wanted to be with Michael she’d be with him right now!

"No, I’m ready. I just...I want this to be special. I'm nervous." I tell her. There is no point in lying. I know she can tell that I’m nervous. Besides, I don’t feel the need to hide anything from Maria. She knows me completely, and that’s one of the reasons I love her so ardently.

"Max, don't be nervous. This is going to be the best night of our lives. I know it." Maria says before she kisses me passionately on the lips. Her hands go up my chest and around my neck, her fingers winding into my hair.

"Wh...why don’t we go upstairs?" I stutter. It is had to think with her touching me anytime. But now that I know I’m going to be inside her very soon, I think that I’m doing well to talk and walk.

"Mmm-Hmmm," Maria almost moans as I, awkwardly, guide her upstairs to my bedroom.


Maria's POV
*********

Max's bedroom looks amazing. He has so many candles everywhere. God, he is so romantic. Michael would never do that. God, STOP THINKING ABOUT MICHAEL, I scream at myself. This is not a comparison of the two. Max already owns my heart.

"It's beautiful," I say to him., taking his hands in mine.

"You’re beautiful," he replies. It’s a simple thing, but I know he means it. God, I love this man. I take him by the hands and lead him to the bed. I plop down next to him and my hand goes up his arm and brushed his cheek.

He looks at me and we begin kissing again, this time deeper, with more feeling and passion than before. I groan in his mouth as his hands come up to unbutton my shirt. Now I wished I’d gone with the shirt that was easier to remove, but this one was sexier.

"Is this ok?" he asks, tentatively.

I stop him and look him in the eye, "Max, you are doing everything right. Just do what your heart tells you. I promise, anything you do will be ok." I assure him. At this point, the only thing he could do wrong is stop touching me.

He smiles and continues unbuttoning my shirt. Slowly he kisses more of my exposed skin. I play with the hem before lifting the garment over his head and throwing it behind me.


Max's POV
*********

Maria is so beautiful. I know this already, but I mean she is really beautiful. As she moved her hands to my zipper, I’m not sure if I can handle it. I'm already hard as hell. Now, I’m more concerned that I’m going to come in my pants before she even touches me.

"Just relax," she tells me, a faint smile gracing her lips. I take a few deep breathes and try to get my pulse under control.

Her hand dips into my pants for just a second before she gently starting to pull them down. She struggles pulling them off my feet, so I kick them off for her. She smiles up at me in thanks. “I love you, Max,” she says, and my heart soars. I’ll never tire of hearing her say that to me.

“I love you too,” I reply, but frankly the words don’t begin to explain how I feel. I decide to show her exactly how I feel. The nerves begin to dissipate and my confidence grows. My hands slip down her sides, pushing her skirt down her legs.

She scoots up the bed and pushes my on my back. If she wants to take the lead, I have not problem with that. We lay there for several minutes just feeling the sweetness of skin against skin. I slowly pull down the straps of her bra, and she does me the favor of reaching behind herself to unsnap it, her beautiful breasts coming into full view for the first time.

She rolls on top of me and we kiss again. As much as I want her, I could lie here and kiss her forever. Her hands push down my boxers, and my apprehension is completely gone. Her panties quickly follow, adding to the pile of clothes on the floor.

I wonder if we are supposed to do something in particular. I’ve never done this before. The best guess I’ve got is porn, but I don’t want our first time to be like that.


Maria's POV
**********

I need Max, right now. I need him buried deep inside me like I’ve never needed anything in my life. I lean into Max and whisper against his lips, "I need you. I need to feel you inside me." I know I’m moaning, and I don’t care. I never feel self-conscious with Max.

He nods and quickly moves to get on top of me. I place my hand on his chest and feel his heart beating a mile a minute. Mine is too. I lay back as he settles between my legs. He is shaking and I rub his back. Slowly, he calms down and I can feel him relax. I reach between us and take a hold of him with my right hand. He I feel him jerk and hear him hiss when my hand surrounds him. I guide the tip of his cock to my slick folds and wait for him to thrust.

He looks at me, starting into my soul before gently kissing my lips. I moan into him as he thrusts forward, filling me for the first time.


Max's POV
*********

I cannot believe how amazing Maria feels around me. She is so tight and wet. I bury my face in her neck trying like hell to hold on to some kind of composure.

“Max…” she breathes, and I know how she feels. I groan as she shift her hips so that I’m entering her deeper with each thrust. I have no idea how I’m going to last. I feel like I’m ready to explode.

Maria reaches between us and I feel her begin to rub her clit. I realize that I probably ought to be doing that for her. I cover her hand with mine and take her place, rubbing circular motions around her clit.

“Oh, God, Max!” she moans, throwing her head back. I take this opportunity to lick and lip the skin of her alabaster neck.

“Maria, you are so perfect,” I groan. I know I’m getting close. I’m trying everything to hold on a little longer.

“I’m going to come!” she bellows. Then, suddenly, her legs begin to shake and her body goes rigid under me. “YES!” she moans, her eyes squeezed shut, and her mouth hanging open in a perfect ‘o’ shape.

I know, now, that I can come too. I thrust into her with more force now, feeling my cock expand as I’m about to come. "Oh Maria," I growl feeling myself tumble over the edge.

That was, by far, the most amazing thing I’ve ever felt.


Maria's POV
*************

Oh my God. That is the only thought I can keep in my head as my body quakes with the aftershocks of my orgasm. I’m practically incoherent. I can’t form words or thought. I guess there is a reason that people say that sex with someone you love is always better.

"Wow," was all I finally managed to squeak out.

"Yeah, that what I was thinking," he said breathlessly, rolling over and pulling me into his arms
I finally get my ability to move and think back after several minutes. "I love you, Max." I tell him kissing him lightly on the lips.

"I love you, too." He replies.

“How about we do that again, just giver me a chance to feel my legs,” I say, laughing. He looks down at me, and I can tell he is quite proud of himself. He should be.


TBC...

[gnrkrystle]

Chapter 7


Maria's POV
**********

It's been three weeks since Max and I finally had sex, and we haven’t been able to since. I've had to work a lot lately, and so has he. All the moments we get alone, we are either too tired, or have too little time together.

It's hard. Whenever we are together, we just cuddle and hold each other, which is nice, but I really want to make love to him again. I've continued to sleep with Michael. It’s so amazing how different it feels to be with Max. It makes it that much harder to give myself to Michael over and over again, when I know there is someone else who completes me.

Max walks in as I’m cleaning off the bar counter at work. He looks at me and we smile at each other. He still makes my stomach fill with butterflies every time he enters the room. I love that.

"What can I get you, sir?" I ask with a grin as I walk up to his table. I’m shaking my hips more than necessary, but I can’t help it. I love flirting with Max.

"You." He replies with a cocky smirk.

Now, if that doesn't turn you on, I don’t know what will. "Well, sir. That isn't on the menu, unfortunately, so you just want a cherry coke, extra Tobasco?" I say, as coolly as I can manage.

"Yeah," he says, still staring into my eyes. I go get him his drink and bring it to him. I can feel his eyes all over my and I love it.

"I got to go get dressed and then I’m off for the night," I say to him. I’m hoping tonight we will be able to have more time together. Michael was going to work on a piece of artwork for class, so I would have the night ‘off.’ "Wanna come back to my house?"

"Are you kidding?" His eyes light up like a Christmas tree, and I know he has the same plans in mind that I do.

"Hey Mr. Parker." I slipping into the back room.

"Hey, Maria. Don’t' forget to pick up the alien straws from your mom tomorrow." he says to me. I just nod at him, confused. Is it the end of the month already? Wow times flies when you are constantly occupied.

Mr. Parker smiles a warm smile back at me and heads back into the kitchen to man the grill.

It's May 30th already? I completely skipped my period and didn’t even notice. I’m usually like clock-work. How could I have missed a period without even noticing? I take a deep breath and collect myself.

I change quickly and march into the dinning room with determination. I know Max isn’t going to like it, but there is something else I’ve got to do tonight. This is one thing I can’t do with him. . "Max, I can't hang out tonight. I forgot, I have to help my mom." I blurt out quickly, unable to think of a better excuse for ditching him.


Max's POV
**********

What the hell just happened. On minute Maria looks like she can’t wait to jump my bones and the next minute she is running out the door. She never turns down a chance to spend some time alone together. There has to be something wrong. Maybe she just needs a little space. I’ll talk to her tomorrow. Its probable nothing serious.


Maria's POV
**********

After going to the drug store I show up at Kyle's. I didn't know where else to go. Obviously I can’t go to Max about this. And Liz isn’t an option either. She wouldn’t care to hear about anyone’s problems but her own. Kyle is my only option. I know he will not judge me. He will help.

I can't be pregnant with Michael's child. I can’t be pregnant with anyone’s child, but especially not Michael’s. This will ruin everything that Max and I have longed for. If I am pregnant I know it has to be Michael's. If I’m already missing a period I have to be more than 3 weeks pregnant.

Now that I think about it, Michael and I had been a little careless with the condom use, and I’ve missed a birth control pill or two. Oh God! This is bad. What the hell am I going to do?

Kyle opens the door after I’ve banged on in for 5 minutes, "What's wrong?" he asks me, a look of confusion on his face.

"I...Kyle...I'm in deep shit." I say walking past him to enter the house.


Kyle's POV
**********

I lead her into the living room, a little surprised by her frazzled state. To tell you the truth, since she and Max had gotten together, Maria has been nothing but smiles.

"What happened? Did Michael find out?" I ask. I am pretty sure that is why she looks like she has been run over by a truck. What else could it be?

"No, he didn’t..” she answers, distracted, “Kyle. I think I’m pregnant. I got the test. I just don’t want to take it alone." She has tears in her eyes and she looks terrified. Who could blame her. I can barely comprehend what she is saying myself.

"Okay.” I say, trying to remain as calm as I can. There was no use contributing to Maria’s freak out. “Let’s just take the test. We ought to be sure before you get freaked out." I smile at her, and I’m prepared to help her deal with whatever the result is. For her sake, though, I’m hoping she isn’t pregnant.

She nods and makes her way to the bathroom. When she comes out, I set the timer for three minutes and wrap my arms around her. "Maria, it's ok. No matter what happens we can get through this." I don’t know how, but I’m confident that Maria can handle anything, if she has to.

"Thank you, Kyle, for helping me through this,” she says. Of course I stick by her. She is my best friend.

When the timer went off we both made our way to the bathroom. She hands me the plastic stick. "You look, I can't." she says. Her hands are shaking and I take the strip from her.

I take a deep breath and turn it over.


Maria's POV
**********

I don’t know if I want to know. I'm trying to read Kyle's face for and indication of what the test says. My palms are sweating. I'm holding my breath. "What does it say?" I ask tentatively.

Kyle looks me directly in the eyes, "Maria, your. pregnant,” he says.

I'm pregnant. I, Maria DeLuca, daughter of a teen mother am pregnant at 18 years old. How can I be a mother? I can barely take care of myself? How can I bring another life into this world that I’m totally responsible for?

Oh crap. What am I going to do? This baby has to be Michael’s. What does that mean for me and Max? What do I do now? How could my life have gotten this screwed up?


Kyle's POV
**********

"Maria, say something." I say pulling her closer to me. She hadn't said anything. She is just staring, like a deer in head lights. She’s freaking out, of course. I’d expected this.

"I have to...I don't know. Oh my God, Kyle. What am I going to do?" Maria asks snapping out of her silence. I don't know any better than she does, but I know that I want to be there for her.

"Do you know whose it is?” I ask. It seems the next logical question.

"Michael’s,” She says, looking back at me. “It has to be Michael’s.”

I don’t know how she knows, but I trust that she does. Tears seep from the corners of her eyes as she begins to sob silently. Poor Maria. Poor Max. Neither of them deserve this. I just wish they could have been honest about their feelings from the beginning. Then maybe Maria wouldn’t be facing teen motherhood.

I lift her chin to look at me, "Maria, everything is going to be okay.” I promise.

She doesn’t say anything, but I hope she believes me. “You have to tell Michael,” I say. As much as I know she doesn’t want to, this is a conversation they will have to have. The sooner the better.



----------------------



Maria's POV
************

I take a few deep breathes before lifting my hand to knock on Michael’s apartment door. I know if I don’t tell him now, there is a chance I’ll chicken out. He does have the right to know about his child.

"Hey baby." Michael says with a smile as he welcomes me inside.

"Hey. We need to talk." I tell him. Abrupt, I know, but I just want to get it out in the open. I’m going crazy.

"Ok," he says tentatively. I know he is concerned. I must be freaking the guy out at this point.

"Michael, I'm....I...I'm pregnant." I spit out finally. Again, I’m sure I could have dropped the bomb a little more tactfully, but I’m really at a loss for what to do now.

Michael doesn’t say anything for a while and I look up. A small smile has creped across his face. "What is funny?" I ask defiantly. If he isn’t going to take this seriously, then what the hell am I even doing here.

He shakes his head and leans into me. "Nothing is funny. Its' just…I’m going to be a daddy." he says, his smile growing larger by the second. There he is, happy to be a father, and here I am miserable because I know that this means what Max and I had is over.

"But what are we going to do?” I cry, “I can't raise a kid in a small town like this. My mom is going to freak out. There is no telling what our friends will say. I don’t think I can do this, Michael." The tears are back and I don’t even bother trying to hold them in.

He frowns, "So, you don’t want to keep our baby?"

"No! Its not that," I quickly explain. I could never get rid of our baby. He/She is part of me. And I couldn’t do that to Michael either. "It’s just that I don’t think I can deal with Roswell and a baby at the same time." I tell him. And it is partially true. Roswell is a big part of the problem with having this baby.

He thinks for a long time, pulling me down on the couch next to him. "Well, why don’t we leave? Get out of here and raise our baby somewhere else, where no one knows us." He says.

Leave? Could I? Should I? I know that I should. I should pick up and leave with Michael. I should leave Max to his life where he can go to college and become a doctor or lawyer and forget about me. It would be the best thing for him.

Michael does love me. He would protect me and the baby. Maybe I don’t need romance. Maybe I don’t need passion or love. Michael could be as good for me as I am for him. He isn’t the love of my life, but I do love him. Perhaps that enough.

"Ok, let's do it." I say, finally. This is the best thing for everyone. Me, the baby, and Michael will be the family that we have both always wanted and needed. Max will be able to move on with his life and date girls who are far less complicated. He will be able to become the great person I know he is destined to become.

Michael pulls me into his arms and holds me close. "Stay with me tonight." he says. And I do. This is the beginning of the rest of our lives.


TBC...

[gnrkrystle]

Chapter 8


Max's POV
**********

I’ve decided to take the bull by the horns. I’m meeting Maria at her house. After blowing me off last night and not returning my calls, I need some answers. Graduation is tomorrow, and then we are going to start our life together. I need to know that she still wants that with me.

She isn’t home, and neither is her mother. What kind of mother misses her only daughter’s graduation. I hope nothing is wrong with Maria. Maybe she got tied up with Liz or she spent the night at Michael’s. As much as I don’t like to think of the possibility, it’s better than the alternative.

Finally she pulls up in the Jetta. At least now I know she’s safe. Now I just have to find out what had her so freaked out last night.


Maria's POV
***********

Oh, God! I groan, internally. Max is here, probably expecting an explanation on why I bailed on him last night. I’ve got to tell him eventually. Michael and I plan to leave town as soon as possible. If I don’t give him any explanation, Max is liable to follow us or something. That wouldn’t be good.

I get out of the car and he walks toward me, wrapping his strong arms around me when we meet at my front steps. I’m really going to miss the feel of his strong arms around me. No one can make me feel as safe as Max does. It’s one of the many reasons I love Max.

But that is all over now. I'm having Michael's baby. We are leaving Roswell, never to return. I can't put Max through this. I’ve got to tell him the truth.

As I move out of his arms, I can see he is hurt. I’m not usually this distant. I haven’t treated him this way since the months we spend not talking after he kissed me. It is all I can do not to break down and cry. I hate being the person to hurt him. In the end, though, it will be for the best.

"Max, we have to talk." I say leading him into the house. How do I break this to him?

"What's up, baby. Why are you so upset?" he asks running his hand through my hair. I need to get away from him. When he is touching me, it makes me want to forget everything I know is right and run to him. I can’t do that now. I’ve got two people to think about instead of one.

"Can you not do that?" I ask, stopping his hand and pushing it away from me. Reluctantly he stops and I continue, "Max, I can't be with you. I'm leaving Roswell with Michael.” I don’t even look at him. It would hurt to much to see his reaction.

But I do hear him. His breath is coming out in pants. Finally, he forms a word, “What!” he asks, standing up from the couch.


Max's POV
***********

Leaving? With Michael? I feel like I’m in some strange, sick nightmare. If this is a joke, it is most definitely not funny.

"We can’t be together, Max.” Maria says as tears stream down her face. I can tell she doesn't want this. What is making her say this? What could have possibly happened between Yesterday afternoon and this morning that would change her mind about them?

"Why? What happened?" I ask as calmly as my racing heart will allow.

"I'm pregnant Max. I'm pregnant with Michael's baby. We are leaving Roswell. It’s the only way." She says.

What? I am having trouble comprehending what she is telling me. Pregnant? So it appears Michael will have the family with Maria that I have been dreaming about. Pregnant? How could this happen?

"Wh-What?" I finally choke out. I know what she said, but I can't get a grasp on it.

"I have to leave. I owe this to my child." she says. I know she has made up her mind, but I can’t help it, I have to make my case.


Maria's POV
************

"But what about us?" he asks me. His voice is so broken. I can’t bare the idea that I’ve do that to him, but what else can I do? What can I say?

"There can't be and 'us'," I tell him, though I want desperately wish that were not true. "I love you, and I will always love you, but I can't change this." I get up, prepared to say goodbye, for probably the last time.

"I can't leave you," he tells me with tears in his eyes.

"You have to," I cry, unable to control my emotions, "You have to."

"I will never stop loving you. You are the only one for me." he says. I know he feels like that now, but I can’t believe that he will never meet someone else. He has to. I want him to be happy more than anything.

"Max, listen to me, I want you to move on. I don’t want you to waist your life. Now, you can become a doctor or lawyer and got to any college you want to. Live your life." I tell him. I want all those things for him. He deserves it more than anyone I know.

"Maria, none of that means anything if I’m not with you." He cries clinging to me. I have to get out of here. I have to go. I can’t deal with this. It’s hard enough to know I’ve made a decision and have to live with it. If he won’t let me go, I don’t know how I’m going to have the strength to do what I have to do.

"Max I have to go. I have school, and then I have to pack. I need...I need to go." I say, pulling away from him and moving toward my bedroom. He stood, stunned, in my living room for a few minutes before finally leaving the house.


Max's POV
*********

Well, it’s obvious I won’t be attending school today. There is no way that I can put up with all the last day crap and not fling myself from a 20 story building. I definitely cannot sit next to Maria knowing that tomorrow she is leaving for some unknown place with Michael to raise their child together.

No, today I’m going to lie in bed and wallow in self pity. Mom won’t care. It’s the last day of school anyway. All that seniors do on the last day of school is sign yearbooks. Right now, I don’t even want to look at my yearbook. I don’t want to do anything. Life sucks? Big understatement.

How could things have gotten so screwed up? I should have talked Maria into telling Michael the truth. I shouldn’t have given in too easily. Why can’t she just tell him now? We could still be together. Why does she always have to do the “selfless” thing. Just once, can’t we be selfish?



********



Maria's POV
************

As I sit in the school auditorium, waiting for my Diploma, all I can think about is Max. Would you like to know why? Because DeLuca and Evans are right next to each other in our senior class. Yep, I’ve been next to Max for going on two hours now. Three days ago I would have loved being next to him for the entire boring graduation ceremony. Now, it feels like some sort of sick torture.

His eyes have been on my the entire day. I can always feel him watching me. Usually, I’m flattered and happy about it. Today his stare is burning holes into my heart.

He leans over and whispers in my ear, "You don’t have to do this. We can tell him the truth, and be together." His voice is strained and urgent. I know he will do anything to keep us together.

I feel tears stinging my eyes again, "Max. Don’t make this harder than it already is. I have to do this." I say. And it is true. Even if I could tell Michael I didn’t love him. We have a child together now. Michael has always wanted a family, how could I take that away from him? He’s ecstatic about being a father. In fact, his attitude has made me appreciate Michael even more. I may not be in love with him, but I do love him, and I owe him this much.

"But I love you, Maria. Doesn't that mean anything?" Max asks, gripping my hand In his. I know he is hurting, just like I am.

"It means everything, Max. I love you too. But we can't always follow our hearts." I say. I wish he could understand how hard this is for me. He settles back into his seat, looking away from me now.

Those are the last words we speak to each other. After Graduation, Michael and I go straight back to my house. I have to pick up my bags and leave a note for my mother. She’s going to be thrilled about my running off to have a baby with Michael. Oh well, perhaps she should have been home a little more often. That’s not really fair. I would have probably ended up in the same position whether she was at home or not.

As I sit in my room I also write a letter to Max. I can’t just leave things they way we left them at graduation.

Dearest Max,

I love you with all my heart. You are my one true love, of that I am sure. If I had been stronger, I would have told Michael the truth from the beginning, like you were willing to. But I wasn’t that strong. I'm still not that strong. I know that you will never understand why I made the decision I did..

I doubt I will ever forgive myself for hurting you, but I love my child and I know that this is the best thing for everyone. You can be the successful man I know you will be. A I can give Michael and my child what they need. A Family. But don’t think for a moment that I will ever forget you. You are my soul mate. I used to make fun of Liz when she talked like that, but now I understand what she means.

I know you don’t believe in God, but I am praying that one day we will meet again, in another life and we will be together.

All my Love,
Maria.

I stick the letter in an envelope and seal it before moving on to my mother’s note. How the hell can I begin to explain things to my absent mother?

Mom,

Michael and I are gone. I know you are going to freak out., but it was the best. I'm pregnant and we are going to start our life together. We need this. You know that Roswell is the worst place to be a teenage mother. I love you and I will email you later.

Love,
Maria.

It wasn’t the most intimate letter, but I had no idea how to explain the last two years of my life to my mother. She wouldn’t understand.

I make a quick call to Kyle before Michael and I leave for our new life. He pleads with me to stay, but he doesn’t understand. I promise to keep in touch, and I hope I’m able to keep that promise because Kyle is too important to me to lose. It’s just too hard to think about that now.

I have to look forward, and focus on what I do have. I have an amazing man who loves me, even though I don’t deserve it, and an unborn child who needs me as much as I need it.


Max's POV
**********

She is gone. Maria is gone forever and I don’t know what to do. I know I’m freaking my parents out. They don’t know why I’m not ecstatic about graduating and why I’m not hanging out with the group. I'll tell you why, because my heart is broken and I don’t think I’ll ever be able to mend it.

The only person I can talk to is Kyle. But I don’t want to bring him down. He was Maria's friend too, and I’m sure he is already hurting because she left.

If Maria thinks I can just move on, she is crazy. Doesn’t she know that nothing else matters if she isn’t there to share it with?

I press repeat on my CD player. Not even the Counting Crows can take care of this depression. I just want to fall asleep and never wake up.




----------




Maria's POV
**********

Indianapolis, Indiana is our new home. That's where Michael has taken me and the baby. Apparently there was an opening for a portrait reconstructionist in the Indianapolis Museum of Art and Michael got the job.

I've never been there, but I don’t much care where we go. I don’t care about anything. I’m trying to put one step in front of the other and move on. It’s not Michael’s fault that I deceived him. All I can do is take things one day ay a time.

This isn’t Max’s fault, or Michael’s, or the baby’s. This is solely my fault. So I will put on a happy face, and I will make Michael believe he is the only one for me and that I am in love with him. I will do that for him and my child because God knows I’ve betrayed them both terribly.


TBC...

[gnrkrystle]

Chapter 9


August 2002

Max's POV
**********

Maria has been gone for two whole months. It has been the two longest months of my life. Even when she was avoiding me, I could see her everyday. That was better than this. She’s just gone. I have no idea where she is. I don’t even know if she is okay. I’m sure Michael would have contacted us if something had happened, but I still don’t like not knowing.

I haven't done much since she left. Basically I spend my days working at the UFO Center, saving up money for college this semester. Kyle is the only person I hang out with anymore. Isabel is worried about me, but I can’t explain to her what happened. She wouldn’t understand anyway.

Maria hasn't contacted any of us. She called her mom once, but she never said where she was. Damnit. I wish I could go back to the beginning of this and give her the strength to leave Michael. Then she would be with me, and we would be starting our lives together.


Kyle's POV
**********

God, damnit Maria. Why haven’t you called me. I'm worried about you. Who the hell knows where you are. I hope you know that you have completely destroyed Max. He barely does anything but mope. He's going to Roswell Community college next year, in hopes that you will come back. So much for leaving so that he can get a better education.

I miss her too though. She was my best friend. She was the only person who understood what it was like to be a human involved in this alien mess. Liz is impossible to talk to. Besides, she is going off to Harvard this year. Even if I wanted to talk to her, it wouldn't be possible.

Isabel keeps asking me what is wrong with Max. I wish I could tell her, but I promised them both that I would keep their secret, and I plan to. I just hope Maria can fix all of this before its too late. Maybe it already is.



----------



Maria's POV
**********

So, we are finally unpacked and have furniture. The second step was harder than the first. Since we left so soon, we didn’t bring much with us. Michael got an advance and we were able to make that money stretch pretty far, as far as home décor was concerned.

We got an apartment in the city and we are mostly settled in. Michael has barely let me lift a finger since we got her. It’s actually kind of adorable how protective he is. I keep trying to explain to him that the doctor says I can do everything I could before I got pregnant.

I've done some soul-searching over the past month, and I’ve decided that everything is going to be okay. I may not love Michael, but he is good to me, and he loves me.

Then again, that is just how I’m feeling today. I'm having a good day so I’m optimistic. You're lucky you didn't catch me on a bad day. Some days all I can think about is Max. Those days, I can barely get out of bed.

Michael thinks it's just the pregnancy hormones, so he doesn’t press me on it. I’m thankful to him for that.



December 2002

Max's POV
***********

I’ve tried to move on, like Maria told me to. I even gave Liz another change, which was about the most mind numbing night of my life. I asked some girls out from my biology class at community college. Nothing works. I knew it wouldn’t even as I tried it.

The whole time I was thinking about Maria. I wish she knew that I can't just move on. I wish she understood that I love her and only her. Anyone else would just remind me of what I could have had but don’t.

As Christmas approaches, I just get more depressed. This would have been our first Christmas together. Instead, I’m helping the Christmas Nazi decorate her apartment since she and Jesse decided to separate. Yeah, life really blows for everyone, it seems.

God, if I could just hold her in my arms one more time. Maybe that would be enough. Who the hell am I kidding? I wouldn’t be able to let go.


Kyle's POV
**********

Maria called today, finally.

"Hey Kyle," she said, I can tell she is nervous by the sound of her voice.

"Why haven’t you called," I barked. I immediately regretted my harsh tone, but I was worried about her. She hasn’t contacted anyone in over six months.

"I'm sorry, Kyle. I just...I couldn't.” She replied. She knew I was going to yell at her. At least she didn’t hang up.

"Maria, I was worried about you. I still am." I told her.

We talked about the weather and school. She asked about my dad and how everything was in Roswell. I told her that Isabel and Jesse were going through some problems and had separated. Liz was off at Santa Fe State, and was planning to transfer to Northwestern next year.

Then she asked me the real question, "How's Max?" I can picture her biting her lip, nervously on the other end of the phone.

"His heart is broken and the only reason he is doing well in school is because he wants to give you the perfect life if you ever come back" I tell her. There is no point in sugar coating it. Max was a wreck.

There was long silence on the other end of the line. "I thought he would move on." she said more to herself than to me. She’s got to be stupider than I thought she was.

"Move on? Have you moved on? There is a reason we call it love. You love Max and he loves you and everyone else will be a distant second." I tell her. She should know that as well as anyone.

"I can't talk about this right now." she said with a frustrated sigh. "Your just making this impossible situation harder,” then she hung up the phone without another word.

Lecturing her was probably not the best way to deal with her phone call. I’m just so frustrated. The two people I call my dearest friends are gone. Maria is God-only-knows where and Max is a shell of the person he used to be. Next time she calls I’ll be better. I promise.



---------



Maria’s POV
*********

When I heard that Max hasn’t moved on, I have to admit that a little part of me was happy. I'm glad that he loves me still, as selfish as that may be. On the other hand, I don’t want him to be miserable. If he is still wallowing in self-pity, that is my fault, and I don’t want to be the cause of his pain.

I ought not to think about it too much. My doctor is already threatening bed rest. If I stress myself out anymore, there could be complications with the baby. Considering this baby is the only thing keeping me sane, I’ve got to do my best to keep my thoughts optimistic.

I miss Max. I miss Kyle. I miss my mom. Hell, I even Miss Isabel. I want to go home. But I know I can't. At least I do have Michael. He might not be Max, but he has been a very solid rock for me over the past few months.


Michael’s POV
************

I hope Maria’s moods level out once the baby is born. She is up and down and all over the place. I can’t imagine what she is going through. It has to be hard being pregnant at 18. I wish I could share the burden with her.

Maria has done so much for me. Two years ago I was a boy, afraid of commitment, afraid of love, hell, I was afraid of humans. Now, I’m on the verge of being a father and I’ve never felt anything so exciting. Maria gave that to me. So, no matter how moody she gets, I’ll stand by here. She’s the best thing that has ever happened to me. One day, I’ll be able to show her that.



February 2003

Max's POV
**********

Maria still hasn't contacted me. She has called Kyle a few times. He told me she has asked about me. I know he didn’t want to tell me that, because he thinks it will give me false hope. The thing is, not matter how “false” my hope may be, it will always be there. I refuse to believe that Maria and I will never be together. It might be many years from now, but I know we will find our way back to each other again.

It's almost time for the baby to be born, I think. According to Kyle it hasn’t been born yet, but by my calculations it could be any day. I hope Maria’s okay. As much as I hate to admit it, I’m glad she has Michael to help her.

I miss Maria. I love her. As stupid as it might be, I do. All I can do now as wait for her to come home, or contact me. I don’t care how, I just want to hear from her again.


Kyle's POV
**********

I talked to Maria last week, and she is doing well, relatively speaking. The baby is due any day, and she’s tried of being on bed rest. Mostly, though, she’s just excited to have the baby. As sad as she is about Max, the baby keeps her spirits up, and that is good, at least.

I haven’t talked to Michael. We were never really very good friends. Even after I learned about their “little green men” status, Michael never made much of an effort to get to know me. I guess I never made much of an effort either.

I guess it doesn’t matter now. I know Michael will protect Maria and help her through all of this. That is something I will always appreciate about him. He’s incredibly loyal, and for that, he will always have my respect. I know, better now, why it was so hard for Maria to leave him.




-------




Maria's POV
**********

I am in deep shit. There is no other word for it. I’ve made a horrible mistake that I’m not sure ill ever be able to rectify. As I hold my daughter in my arms, I have to live with the fact that I am ruining Max Evan's life even more.

The irony is that I left Max to have Michael’s child. Little did I realize, then, that the baby girl in my arms is not Michael’s. How the hell was I supposed to know that alien babies have a different effect on the human body. It wasn’t until I was giving birth that I even realized the crucial mistake that I’ve made.

What the hell am I supposed to do? It is, now, obvious that my child is Max's. Her ears stick out just like her daddy's. Besides, during labor I got flashes from when she was conceived. Max is the father alright. FUCK!

Max deserves the truth, but Michael doesn't deserve to have his 'daughter' taken away from him. Then again, Kyle did say that Max had gone out on a few dates and he is doing well in school. Its probably better that I not burden him with the truth anyone. It really wouldn’t do anyone any good. God, what should I do? I can’t even talk to Kyle about this. He’s kill me.

I love him Max, I don’t want him to give up his dreams and goals for me. I've really fucked up this time. Well, all I can do is try to make the best of things and move forward with Michael. And I pray that God forgives me for the deceit I seem to spout out in all directions.


Michael’s POV
***********

My daughter is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever laid eyes on. She looks just like her mother. Thank God for small miracles. I can’t believe that she is really mine. It seems I’ve finally done something right with me life. All those years I spent denying my emotions seem like a distant memory now.

I’ve never felt more purpose, in my whole life, like I feel looking at my daughter. We’ve decided to name her Allison, Ally for short. Allison Maxine DeLuca-Guerin. The hyphenated name was Maria’s idea. I still don’t know why she seems so closed off lately, but I’m willing to be patient. I love her, and Ally deserves a happy family. We can give her that.




February 2004

Max's POV
*********

Maria gave Kyle a P.O. Box address to send mail to. It took her two years, but she finally opened the door for me to contact her. At least, I think she must be opening the door, because she told Kyle he could give me the address. I think she is scared that we will come and find her, so she didn't give him her real address.

Who knew it would be so hard to think of what to write? I mean, I’ve wanted to talk to her every day for the last two years. I guess the problem is not that I don’t know what to write. Its that I don’t know where to start.

I pull out a sheet of paper and a pen and give it a try. Something is better than nothing.

My Dearest Maria,

I love you more than any words on this paper could possibly convey. I do not know why our love can't be enough. I know that you do not love Michael the way you love me. I feel it every day.

Yes, I still feel you. The connection isn't as strong with the miles that must part us, but I do feel you. I know that you are not completely happy. I also know why. It is the same reason that I am not happy. It’s the same reason why I can’t do anything but think about you and study.

I'm doing well in school, majoring in Biology. I’ve decided to go Pre-Med. I pray that one day I will be able to support you and love you the way you deserve.

Would you please write to me? I need to know you are ok? Or call me. I promise I won’t beg you to come back. You already know that is what I want. But I want to hear your voice again. I want to hear that beautiful voice that can lighten any mood.

God, I love you. I just want to know how you are doing. Please, don’t shut me out forever.

With Love Forever,
Max

I hope she reads this and writes back. I know the chances are slim, but I also know that she wants to call me. Somewhere, deep down, she wants to be with me, and I think that might be just enough to get her to at least write me back.


---------



Maria's POV
**********

I got a letter from Max today. I’m freaking out. I don’t know if I should read it. I mean, I know I want to read it. The selfish parts of me, want to open this letter and find out that Max is waiting for me, even though that’s the last thing I deserve.

It’s not like this letter could actually make things worse. They are pretty much already at DEFCON 1 emotionally. I know I’m making Michael crazy. All I do is spend time with my baby, Ally. She is my flesh and I love her. Plus, she’s my only concrete link to Max, though Michael doesn’t know that.

Michael thinks it's post-partum depression. That could be part of my mood, but I know the real reason I don’t want to get out of bed is because my heart is broken. Ally’s birth just put a magnifier on everything.

Fuck it. I’m reading the damn letter. I rip it open and read it over twice. Tears well up in my eyes. He is so beautiful and all I do is hurt him.

I get out a pen and begin to write back. It’s my first instinct. I know I won’t be able to call him, but maybe I could write him, just once.

My Love,

I miss you too. With every fiber of my being I miss you. I can’t begin to explain how much I miss everything about you.

I am a horrible person. I don’t deserve even one ounce of mercy from you. The injustice I’ve done you is beyond excuse. You see, I have a secret. No one knows but me. Ally, my one year old daughter, is your child.

We created the most beautiful little girl in the whole world, with my blond hair and big lips and her daddies amber eyes and Dumbo ears. She is beautiful. It is amazing to me that Michael doesn't see the resemblance. It is so apparent to me.

I want you to know that I don’t expect anything from you. I don’t want you to put your life on hold or come find me or anything. I am fine. Michael loves me and my daughter is loved. Our daughter. I love you more than you will ever know.

Love,
Maria.

I re-read the letter and then roll it up in a ball. No way can I send him that. I’ve already hurt him too much, I can’t possibly break his heart even more. It would devastate him, and he would never be able to get on with his life. I can't do that to him. I throw the paper away and plop back down on the couch.




April 2004

Max's POV
*********

Maria has not written or called me yet. Maybe it's too soon for her to talk to me. I don’t know. I have to believe that she wants to talk to me. I can’t bare the thought that she might not love me the way she did before. I just know that it is killing me to be away from her. I love her. I need her. God, I’m hopeless. I’ll just keep checking the mailbox everyday and hope something comes.


TBC...

[gnrkrystle]

Chapter 10


May 2004

Maria's POV
**********

"Hey baby." Michael says to me, as he lies next to me in bed.

"Morning," I say with a soft smile playing on my lips.

"Get up. I have a surprise for you." he says. He looks excited, so I quickly get out of bed and pull on my robe.

Ally is still asleep, which is surprising. She is usually an early riser. "What's up?" I say, looking back at him as I walk into the living room.

He just smiles and points in front of me. I turn my head to see the entire living room transformed into one of the most romantic sites I’ve ever seen. "Michael, what is this?" I ask in awe of the sight before me. He’s laid out flowers and candles everywhere, with a table for two in the middle of the room. Honestly, it reminds me of the night Max and I made love. I push the thought quickly out of my head and sit in one of the chairs at the table where there is a breakfast feast laid out before me.

"It's all for you baby. I know you have been down for a while. But I want you to know that I love you." he says. It's heartbreaking to watch him give himself to me, when he used to be so guarded. I’m the one who got him to open up. Its ironic, now, that I’m the one building up stone walls.

"I love you too," I say. It isn’t a lie. I love him for taking care of me and Ally. I love him as a friend. The reason it feels like a lie is because I’m not in love with him. That is a special place in my heart that has already been occupied by Max Evans.

"I have a question for you," he says to me. I can see he’s nervous, and I have no idea why. He moves over to me, then he gets down on one knee. Oh God! This can’t be happening. But it totally is.

"I know that you’ve been sad, ever since we left Roswell. I can only imagine why, but if I could make you happy and make you smile everyday, I would be complete." he says to me. Wow, he really knows how to touch a girl’s heart.

"Maria DeLuca. Will you marry me?" He finally asks.

I look down at him and see that he is very worried this might push me further away. I think about it for a moment. I’m committed to going down this road with Michael now. Marriage is the next logical step.

"Yes," I say, finally, pulling him up off his feet. Part of me is happy, but a bigger part of me knows that once I marry Michael, there is not turning back. I guess I’ve known that since I left Roswell, though.



----------



Max's POV
*********

I've written Maria about 10 letters. I've given up on her replying, but I want her to know what I’m doing, and how I still feel, so I keep writing. When she’s ready, she will right back.

She hasn't called Kyle in a while, but she said that she was doing well when last they spoke. She never gives details of her life of course.

God, Maria. Why can't you come back? We could work all of this out. I know its selfish for me to ask her to come back. Her child deserves her father, and Michael, with all his faults, doesn’t deserve our betrayal. But I can’t help it. I’m not complete without her.

My life now revolves around my schooling and career. People in my classes think I’m just more motivated to get ahead. I think they are actually kind of jealous. It’s not about out performing the class. It’s about being the kind of man Maria wants me to be. It’s about being the kind of man that Maria always believed I could be.

Just think, two years ago Maria and I were together and happy, now look at us—both miserable, both longing for each other because we weren't strong enough to tell Michael the truth then. If I could go back, I would. I would make her see that she didn't need him. But I can’t change things. All I can do is live for today.


Kyle's POV
********

I wonder why Maria hasn't called me lately. I hope she is okay. I’m sure Michael would let us know if she weren't. He knows that we all still care about her, even if he hasn’t contacted Isabel or Max since they left, he would let us know if something went wrong.

This whole situation is just fucked up. I wish I could go back and tell Maria and Max to be honest with Michael. I feel like I gave them the worst advice in the world. Because of me they are both apart and miserable.

Of course, I know it’s not really my fault. The only thing I could do was support them both. They had made up their minds before they even came to me. If I’d lectured them then, they would have just cut me out of their lives and continued to do whatever they wanted.

It’s not their fault either. No one could have guessed that things would turn out this way. It’s just frustrating to see people you care about hurting when you have no control over it.




April 2005

Maria's POV
**********

As I watch my precious two-year-old daughter, I think about my mother. Am I going to be like her? Am I going to be putting on a happy face to conceal my real feelings forever? I know my mom did that with me. She was never really happy. She loved my father and he left her. The difference between me and her though, is that I love Ally's father and I left him.

Michael has been getting more and more frustrated with me. I think my moods are wearing on him. After we got married, I think Michael thought things would be perfect. Marrying him was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. It meant I had to give up the idea of Max and me together forever.

So things have been rocky between Michael and I. Sometimes things are great. There are days when I feel optimistic and happy about my tiny family. Many days, though, I am in a funk, walking through life with no meaning or purpose, just hoping to get through the day. On those days, Michael spends lots of time at the gallery.

I've decided I have to write to Max. I need to get my feelings out there. I'm not telling him that Ally is his. There is no reason he needs to know that. But I am going to get some things off my chest. Maybe I will feel better if I do.

My Dear Max,

I can't really call you mine any more. That is my own fault, of course. My problem is that I choose to make others happy instead of myself. If I were selfish, I would run back to Roswell today and wrap my arms around you, the way that I used to. But I can't do that to Michael or my daughter. I’m not worthy of either of them.

I wanted to tell you some things—let you know a little bit about my life. First of all, I’m married to Michael. I couldn't keep him on a string forever. I owed it to him to get married. That doesn’t mean I’ve forgotten about you. I think about you everyday, every minute. It is you that I want inside me every night.

It is thought of you that gets me through the day, along with my beautiful daughter. Her name is Ally.
Allison Maxine DeLuca actually. She’s two years old now, and into everything. She’s so beautiful. I never thought I could create something so beautiful. She’s so perfect and smart. No matter what happened with Michael or between us, I cannot regret her presence.

I debated about whether or not to write you. I want you to move on and be happy and I fear that if I write this and send it, you will not move on. You see, I’ve written you 100s of letters. And all of them have ended up neatly in the shredder that Michael bought me for Christmas. But I feel like I owe you at least a letter. Besides, I feel better writing this letter than I have all week. Your the only man for me, the man I love, but please don’t give up your life waiting for me. I'm not worth it.

All my Love,
Maria.

I put the letter in the envelope and seal it, and before I can second guess it, I walk directly to the mailbox at the front of our building. I drop it in and say a silent prayer that I've done the right thing.




--------




Max's POV
************

I got a letter from Maria today! I don’t even know what to do with myself. I thought she’d never write to me. I don’t know what caused her to write, but I’ll take it. All I do know is that I can’t get the envelope opened fast enough. I take a deep breath and begin to read.

Wow. How can she not think she is worth my time? What do I have to say to get it through her head that she is the only one for me? I wish I knew where she was. I wish I could find her, wrap her up in my arms and tell her that everything will be alright. Because I do know that everything will be alright as long as we are together.

It feels so good read her letter. It could have been complete gibberish, and I would have been happy just to hold a piece of paper that she recently had in her hands. I want her to write again so I get out a pen and write her back.

Maria,

I still am yours. I will always be yours. Don’t you see that. I've tried to move on. I just can't do it. I've tried to get you out of my head. It won’t happen. Anyone but you will always be a distant second in my heart.

I understand why you can't leave Michael, I really do. It doesn't make this any easier. I think of you every minute too. You don’t know how much I wish I could hold you again and make love to you again. Nothing ever felt more right than being inside of you.

Thank you for writing me. I wish I could read those 100 letters you wrote before, but none of that matters. All that matters to me now is you. You and school are the only things on my mind. I'm starting my senior year in the fall. One more year to go and then I’m off to medical school.

I love you, baby. Never forget that. I love you and I always will. Please write me back, I love hearing from you.

Forever Yours,
Max.



Kyle's POV
*********

I guess Max got a letter from Maria the other day. Thank Buddha. She told me once she was thinking about writing to him, but she didn’t have the guts. It looks like she worked some up. I’m just glad they are in contact with one another again.

Maybe this is the start of something. Maybe Maria will open her eyes and see that Max is her soul mate, and you can’t just cheat yourself out of a soul mate. Knowing Maria, though, she will fight anything logical like that. I just hope she doesn’t fight too hard, because it might be too late.




May 2006

Max's POV
*********

I finally graduated college. I'm excited to be starting NYU medical school in the fall/ Of course, I’d be more excited if Maria were with me, but this is the first time in a while that I’ve been so focused and excited about something.

I still miss Maria, but we've been exchanging letters. I feel great about that. At least I’m a part of her life now. I think that makes it easier to be happy about medical school. I’m not as preoccupied with wondering what Maria is doing because she is actually telling me now.

She refuses to tell me where she is. Of course, I could easily figure it out. The postmark is on all the envelopes she sends me. I am respecting the fact that she doesn't feel ready to see me. It’s been four years now. If I can wait this long, I can wait four more years if I have to. I hope it doesn’t come to that.

Either way you look at it, she knows where I am, so if she wants to see me, she will come here. For now, I’ll take the letters.


Kyle's POV
*********

I made it to First Deputy. After 3 years of working as a mechanic, I decided to finally take my father up on his offer to get me into the sheriff's office. I'm pretty stoked about it, actually. Who would have ever thought that I’d be excited about following in my father’s footstep. Five years ago, this would have been my nightmare.

Even though my dad isn't interested in the badge for himself, I can tell he is thrilled too. Maybe he will change his mind someday and work to get his own badge back. He was such a good sheriff. I understand why he lost his job, but that doesn’t make it right.

Isabel and I have been talking to each other a lot lately. Her divorce was finalized sis months ago, and she’s still having a hard time getting used to it. We are the only two left in Roswell. It must be really hard for her family gone. I know Michael calls her occasionally, but not that often. I’m her rock, and I kind of like the role.

I’m glad Max got into NYU, though. He needs to get out of New Mexico and away from all the memories of Maria. Besides, it’s the first thing I’ve seen him get excited about in four years. Things might be looking up for our mangled group. I don’t want to count my chickens though.


TBC..