Winter's Chill (UC,L/Z,Adult) *complete* 1/15/16

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Re: Winter's Chill (UC,L/Z,Adult) chpt 11 9/5/15

Post by keepsmiling7 » Sun Sep 06, 2015 2:03 pm

Another one of your famous twists and turns Carrie!
Can't believe Zan is actually talking to the doctor.
After Liz put the jerk through medical school he had the nerve to cheat on her. She'll never forget that.
Those whole 7 years and engagement were wiped out when he cheated.
Can't wait to see how this conversation between Zan and the doctor turns out.

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Re: Winter's Chill (UC,L/Z,Adult) chpt 11 9/5/15

Post by sarammlover » Tue Sep 08, 2015 3:16 pm

UGH! Ben needs to get the hell out of town. I am pissed he is interfering with Zan and Liz's relationship. I wish Zan would have stayed and not left the house. Great update Carrie!!

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Re: Winter's Chill (UC,L/Z,Adult) chpt 11 9/5/15

Post by Natalie36 » Sun Oct 18, 2015 7:27 am

bump :wink:

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Re: Winter's Chill (UC,L/Z,Adult) *Complete* 1/15/16

Post by jake17 » Fri Jan 15, 2016 1:06 am

Natalie x2

thank you so much for your fb! Hope you like the ending! :)

Chapter twelve

Ben's request for five minutes of his time was a joke, and he knew it, the choice was her's to make, deep inside he knew she was aware of how fucked up he was.

It was only a matter of time before she left, he knew about her secret visits to the therapist, he had been preparing for this for a long time now, still it hurt more than he could've ever imagine.

Pain for Zan unleashed disastrous results, he felt his control slipping with each second that passed by.

His fingers twitched as he reached for the second shot throwing it back fast, doing his best to reel in the rage rising like a tidal wave deep inside him.

The muscles in his back flinched at the sounds of machine gun blasts riddled behind him from a video game being played by kids in the back of the bar.

Growling deep Zan spoke over the music of Led Zeppelin's Stairway to Heaven, lost in the lyrics, feeling as if he'd already lost her.

“Speak your mind, you have four minutes left.”

Zan’s voice was more animal than human as flashes of his truck crashing flickered in his mind’s eye. Shards of glass exploded in his face, he felt himself being violently forced back into his seat, he watched her die instantly all over again right beside him, her wide eyes staring blankly into him, while his screams echoed for miles.

Ben had set off a domino effect that was forcing Zan to relive all the horrific tragedy that brought him to this very point in time, to this seedy bar, sitting next to the man that held a much better future than he could ever provide for her.

Clearly intimidated, his adversary choked down a shot of whiskey coughing for a long period of time afterward like a little boy sipping booze from his father’s stash.

Nervously, Ben adjusted his glasses, clearing his throat attempting to continue.

“I assume you know why I’m in town.”

Zan lifted his darkened eyes to the bartender signalling for another drink, which was provided cautiously. This was a small town, it was no secret what had been happening in the little house in the woods.

The shot was thrown down quickly, the glass slammed against the bar, this was taking too long, the thread that Ben had pulled unknowingly was quickly unravelling.


Nodding, Ben began to notice people staring, moving away from them, whispering, pointing, taking their fun to the other end of the room.

Still he was oblivious to the danger he was in believing he was safe inside where there were plenty of witnesses.

“Fine, I’ll speak plainly. How much do you care about Liz?”


Wiping the sweat from his brow, Ben quickly rambled on, realizing this was much harder than he imagined it would be.

“Family, friends, a real career in a thriving city where she is respected and revered. A-A life of security where she would want for nothing, children who would have the very best. That is what I can give her, that is what I want for her. Mistakes were made on my part I know, but I don’t have to tell you that everyone fumbles from time to time… loses their way, but we both know she doesn’t belong here, she doesn’t deserve to be punished for my poor judgment.”

Adjusting his glasses again, flipping back his blonde hair, Ben eyed Zan’s arms as they flexed into a variation of defined muscles resembling steel rather than fibrous tissue.

“I know Liz. She’s kind, to a fault in my opinion, but you should be aware that we talked. She’ll never have the heart to be honest with you but, from what it sounded like to me is what she feels for you is more, sympathy than real true feelings of affection.”

Lowering his head Zan slid the bar stool away from the counter causing the attentive bartender to reach for a bat from beneath a row of bottles.

“It boils down to this, if you really care for her, for the life she was meant to have, deserves to have, then you’ll let her go. You’ll walk away instead of forcing her to stay unhappy in a relationship that is built on a foundation of obligation as opposed to love.”

Closing his eyes Zan heard the last words of his friend on the battlefield as he begged for help, another flash revealed Liz inside his home as he stood in the snow seeing her for the first time, the last was moving his dead girlfriend from behind the wheel, taking her place, so her memory would would remain as beautiful as her heart had always been to him.

“I can tell that beneath this tough exterior you are a good man, or else she wouldn't have stayed as long as she did. I also know you’ll do the right thing by her, I have faith in you Alexander.”

Standing Zan took a deep breath before looking up at the bartender giving him a quick warning to leave the Louisville Slugger in it's resting place.

Suddenly everything went silent except for a loud piercing hum growing in intensity snuffing out all the sounds in the bar.

Before anyone could react Zan curled his fingers around Ben’s throat slamming his head sideways down onto the sticky bar holding it there with little effort.

His glasses flew off breaking beneath his kicking feet as he struggled briefly before finally succumbing to his fate.

Zan could feel his strained breath leave his body, hear the final gasps and gurgles as blood red capillaries burst in the whites of his eyes.

After a few seconds the violent vision dissipated as Ben’s voice increased in volume, along with the music and various conversations mulling about the bar to where Zan could hear it all as if he was once again present in the moment.

“Just give her a few hours, she’ll be out of the house. Feel free to stay there, until it sells, which I’m betting won’t be anytime soon. I know you’d be reasonable, for Liz’s sake.”

By now the noises surrounded him were overwhelming, the music was jarring, the chaos of too many people laughing, yelling over each other, the sounds of glasses clanging, it all seemed to meld together driving his heart to hammer dangerously in his chest.

Pushing open the door Zan rounded the corner into the dark alley struggling to breath as sharp pains pierced his chest causing him to double over leaving him to gasp for air.

Far off in the distance he heard a soft voice, repeating the same words over and over.

Embarrassed, unable to get a grasp on the episode ravaging his mind he waved the figure away yelling breathlessly.

“Go away, get the fuck out of here!”

Again he heard it, a gentle whisper, a soothing hint of a familiar voice calling out to him, showing him the way back.

“Zan, just breathe, It’s me, Liz. No one can see you, you’re safe. I’m here… I’m here… I’m right here.”

Opening his eyes, not trusting his broken mind any longer, he fell back against the building wiping the sweat from his forehead.

“How did you... w-why did you come here?”

“Stan, the bartender called me, I was worried - “

“I didn’t hurt him… I never touched the guy.”

Shaking her head she stepped closer to him lowering her voice to a soft whisper.

“I know, that wasn’t even -

“NO! You don’t get it Liz, I wanted to! I wanted to break his fucking neck! I saw it happening in my head! I felt it in my hands, the life leaving his body! I killed him!”

Pressing her hands on his cheeks forcing him to look at her, she stood on her toes tears wavering in her eyes.

“But you didn’t!”

“It doesn’t matter, I wanted to, don’t you get it!? I'm fucked up Liz, I’m dangerous, go back to California with Ben… you’re not safe with me. He’s right, you deserve better.”

Pained, Liz shoved him back gently as he tried to push past her, exhausted he fell against the rough brick hunched over tired of a fight he couldn’t win.

Shouting desperate to get through to him she braced her hands on his shoulders pinning him still.

“I deserve better? Better than a boy who takes the blame for an accident he didn’t cause, so that his first love would be remembered for the beautiful, special girl she was, instead of a reckless teenager that had too much to drink on prom night? I deserve better than a man that fought in a war he was never meant to see, who is haunted by the men he did everything in his power to protect?”

Shaking his head he refused to look at her too blinded by nightmares that refused to let him go.

Quieting her voice, Liz held him, pressing her ear to his heart, sighing as he eventually brought his arms securely around her small body.

“Zan listen to me, you need help. None of this is your fault, you need to believe that, you need to find a way to let your past go… so that… you can have a future… with... me.”

Lacing his fingers through her hair, breathing her in, he felt the warmth of her skin bringing him slowly back to that place of calm, of peace.

“What if there is no better, what happens if this is just the way I am.”

Shaking her swollen hand, blowing on the blood seeping from her knuckles, Liz shook her head.

“Well than I guess we’ll both have violent tendencies we’ll have to live with.”

Shocked he grabbed her hand, “You hit Ben!?”

Laughing softly she shrugged. “Knocked his stupid glasses right off his smug face.”

What the hell happened?”

“I told him he was wasting his time, that I was truly happy for the first time in my life, and there was nothing he could say that would make me change my mind.”

Stunned Zan kissed her split knuckles, “So why did you hit him?”

“Stan told me what he did to you. He had no right to say those things to you. I guess my temper got the best of me… plus, let’s face it, that asshole really deserved it.”

Brushing his thumb across her bottom lip, feeling hopeful for the very first time that he had a real chance at happiness, he kissed her slow, tenderly, watching her, unafraid to tell her how he really felt.

“I'm in love you Liz. I can't imagine my life without you. I wouldn't survive it, I wouldn't want to.”

Wrapping her arms around his neck she pulled him in tight for a deeper kiss that left an invitation for so much more.

“Well it’s about fucking time.”

Wincing as she switched the hand he was holding to her good one, while pulling him towards her car she giggled feeling his eyes on her, captivated, lost in her every move.

“Parker I think you’re a bad influence on me.”

Jumping in the car she leaned over pressing her mouth to his neck while smoothing her fingers inside his thigh.

“Oh you have no idea… just wait till I get you home.”

Pulling out of the parking lot, Liz smiled watching him ease back against the seat staring out the window, looking better than he had in months.

"I love you, no matter what... please don't ever doubt it Zan, there's no need."

Grinning his voice was calm, at ease as he watched the bright green leaves on the trees by their house wave back and forth in the wind.

"It's getting warmer, I can feel it in the air, that bitter chill of Winter is finally gone."

"Doubt thou the stars are fire; Doubt that the sun doth move; Doubt truth to be a liar; But never doubt I love."

Hamlet, by William Shakespeare

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Re: Winter's Chill (UC,L/Z,Adult) *complete* 1/15/16

Post by keepsmiling7 » Fri Jan 15, 2016 2:38 pm

Carrie, I do love the ending........of course now I want to go through and read this in it's entirety.
I never read UC's until you started writing Zan. You have made a believer out of me, I am hooked on the Zan/Liz relationship.
We're all glad the RF is back, but I am especially glad you are writing!

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Re: Winter's Chill (UC,L/Z,Adult) *complete* 1/15/16

Post by Tashchen » Mon Feb 08, 2016 7:41 pm

Loved this story so much! Thanks for a beautiful ending. I'm off to read your other stories now. A bunch of new ones. yay!

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Re: Winter's Chill (UC,L/Z,Adult) *complete* 1/15/16

Post by Eva » Fri Apr 08, 2016 5:38 am

I stumbled upon this story in a quest to read something, anything... I'm known for my preference in the M&M section and god knows why I clicked this one open. But man, I'm glad I did. It grabbed me by the throat from the first line and I almost read it in one take. Beautiful work, Carrie! It read like a flower, blooming open and reveilling every layer in the complex insight of both characters. I really like your Liz & Zan, which is a great compliment!
Take a look at Eva's world

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Re: Winter's Chill (UC,L/Z,Adult) *complete* 1/15/16

Post by roswell3053 » Thu Jun 16, 2016 10:58 pm

I'm so glad that I found this story again!!

Props to Liz for punching that jerk. I can't wait to see how this plays out. Hurry back soon.
Check out my fic.

Unforgettable Nights

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Re: Winter's Chill (UC,L/Z,Adult) *complete* 1/15/16

Post by Darknhauntinglove » Wed Nov 08, 2017 7:51 am

It's been years since I've visited this site, but for some reason yesterday I found my way here again and this is the second fic I've read, both of which were yours & after finally remembering my password I had to let you know how much I enjoy your writing.

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Re: Winter's Chill (UC,L/Z,Adult) *complete* 1/15/16

Post by Stefuh » Sun Jul 19, 2020 9:16 am

Hi Carrie, I know you haven't been on this board for years, but I just read this story and I loved it so much!
I'm so glad that Liz was able to make Zan talk, poor him, keeping the truth inside all these years, plus everything that happened while he was at war...
And I laughed when I saw that Liz had punched Ben in the face!!
Oh and I loved imagining Liz in a more rock/grunge style!! :D
Also, the sex was soooo hot!
I'm really glad I read this fanfic, it was amazing! <3

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