Driven Under (KT / ADULT) (Complete)

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Driven Under (KT / ADULT) (Complete)

Post by ChrissyP47 » Thu May 05, 2005 12:53 am

Winner - Round 9


Title: Driven Under
Author: ChrissyP47
Rating: Adult
Catagory: Kyle centric with Kyle/Tess and implied CC.
Disclaimer: I own nothing. UPN or the WB or FOX or someone owns Roswell and I am just borrowing it for the time being and shall return it safe and sound. I promise not to give it too much candy or make it stay up late. ;)

Author's Notes: Anyone miss me?

Anyone remember me more importantly? It's been about a year since I've been back on fanatics, maybe longer, I don't remember now, but I had to come back. Well, not really come back, but complete this fic. It's been done for months now and just sitting on my hard drive. I got two parts from the ending and just flaked and I apologize to anyone left on the board who was reading it. I really didn't mean to just disappear like that, I won't be disappearing now. The fic is done and Kath might kill me if I don't get this thing posted and done with. So here goes.

For everyone joining this story that had not read any of it before, this story is not an easy read. It's rated Adult for a reason. If you are uncomfortable with adult themes, don't read. It's more than just the sex, it's dark, its angsty and it is very adult. So I am just forewarning now so that it hopefully won't come as much of a shock.

I'm going to try and update a part a day til it's done. I'm going to be losing internet soon so as long as I get over to my friends house everyday it'll be updated every day. Otherwise every other day. The fic is 12 parts long, plus an epilogue, so this'll be a short ride.

So everyone kick back, take off your shoes and just hang on.

Comments are appreciated, but not required. Constructive critizism is *always* welcome. I'm tough, I won't break, I promise.

Alright, here we go.

Part 1

Kyle stuffed his books in his locker as quickly as possible. The worst part about winter vacation was going back to school afterwards. Kyle had already forgotten to do one of his vacation assignments, not to mention since he blew off studying he failed his English pop quiz. Mr. Siles was a sadist, known for giving tests right after winter break. Kyle had forgotten that little piece of information.

Now if he didn’t hurry and get his books he needed it was going to be late to the court for practice. He had already been held up enough by Ms. Ingle, who decided to lecture him on how he needed to be taking better notes in class or he would fail out of Chemistry. Kyle was going to have to go buy something for Liz and bribe her to tutor him.

Kyle slammed his locker shut and was about to book it to the gym when he heard a soft voice call out to him.


Kyle spun around to see Tess running to catch up with him.

“I am so glad I found you.” Tess said with the little half smile he was growing to enjoy. “We’re having a meeting right after school today to discuss some things and plan for Ms. Deluca’s birthday.”

“You’re kidding right?” Kyle replied rubbing his forehead. “I have practice from now till four.”

“Oh. Well.” Tess looked down at her watch and then looked back up at him. Her bright blue eyes shining brilliantly for him. “It’s two right now. Just meet us over there then and I’ll promise to give you the notes.” She winked at him before walking off.

Kyle just stared at her for a moment, watching the way her hips gave a little sway as she glided down the hallway. He knew he was going to be in so much trouble for being late for practice, but it would be worth it just to watch Tess for a few more seconds.

He finally gave up after Christmas. He could no longer deny the fact that he was falling for Tess. Sure she was part Martian and that she was ‘destined’ to be with Max. That didn’t even matter to Kyle anymore. He loved the way she had started blaring the Spice Girls throughout the whole house every Saturday when she cleaned. He also loved the way that she always seemed to sleep in his old jersey now. Whether she meant to or not, wearing that shirt made Kyle very possessive of her. If only Kyle could stop falling for girls that were after Evans he would be set.

“Hey Valenti! Move it! We’re already late for practice!” Kyle heard one of the guys yelling to him.

Kyle took one last look at his alien princess walking away before heading to practice.


Kyle grabbed his towel off the chair and started wiping the sweat off his forehead. The coach had worked them really hard during practice, especially Kyle and Pauley for being late. Kyle took a drink from his water bottle and nearly groaned when he heard his coach call out to him.

“Yes, Mr. Griffins?” Kyle responded, restraining the urge to just roll his eyes.

“Look Valenti, just because you’re captain doesn’t mean you get to be late to practice. Nor does it mean I’m going to start you every game do you understand me?”

“Yes.” Kyle replied taking the seriousness in his coach’s voice for all it’s worth.

“Now Kyle, you are a good kid and a top athlete. I know you are only a Junior, but we have state finals soon and the scouts are going to be there. This could be your ticket out of Roswell, Kyle. Play well and you will be looking at some pretty good college scholarships.”

Kyle nodded taking in every word being said.

“This is your chance. Your future. Don’t do anything to mess it up.”

With that his coach slapped him on the back and waved him off to go shower. Kyle grabbed his things and took off as fast as he could. All he wanted to do was get to that meeting. He wanted to tell his dad that he actually had a shot to go to college now. Maybe for once his father would be proud of what he accomplished in school.


Kyle tore up the flight of stairs to Michael’s apartment. Everyone’s cars were still parked out front so he still knew they were all there. For once Kyle was actually excited. Things seemed to be brightening up for him. He couldn’t wait to see the look on his dad’s face when he told him that there was a chance he could be getting a scholarship to a top university. It seemed a little surreal, but Kyle knew he had earned this.

Reaching Michael’s apartment door, Kyle knocked on it and the door opened a crack. Obviously the door wasn’t locked, or shut all the way. That seemed a little risky and unlike his overly anal friends when it came to protection.

“Did someone forget to lock the door?” Kyle said poking his head into the living room.

Everything was really dark in the apartment making it really hard for Kyle to see where he was going.

“Ok, I know you are all here, I saw the cars parked outside. Now come out wherever you are.” Kyle said, a slight laugh in his tone.

He walked across the apartment until he found the lamp and flipped it on. When he turned back around the sight before him would forever be burned in his mind. Kyle couldn’t even make out what he was looking at. All he saw was torn clothes and blood. Lots and lots of blood.

Kyle stumbled on the ground and fell down to one of the bodies trying to recognize it. Praying silently that he was the enemy. That there had been a battle and everyone made it out safe. That they were just hiding.

He tried to make out the first one he came to, but it was difficult, there was so much blood. Kyle swallowed and took in a deep breath, forcing the bile back down in his throat. Something shiny was reflecting near him and he bent forward to look at it. On the body he was touching there was a silver star pinned on it.

A silver star.

Kyle jumped back and fell over another body. This one clearly had blond curly hair that was now tainted with it’s own crimson blood.

“Dad… Tess…”

There were eight bodies scattered around him, his eight friends and family had been meeting together.

“No damn it!” Kyle screamed out. He refused to believe what was right in front of him. Kyle crawled along the floor until he came into the kitchen. His hands were coated in red blood and were making prints along the tile of the floor. He reached up for the phone and pulled it close to him while he pushed himself into a corner. Out of sight of the bodies. He didn’t want to look at them anymore.

With shaky fingers he dialed three digits and waited.

“911 What is your emergency?”

“Help…” Kyle whispered into the phone, not trusting his voice anymore.

“Hello? Is someone there?”

“Help.” Kyle said a little louder. “My friends… my family… there is so much blood.”

“Ok sir I am sending an ambulance to where you are right now. I need you to tell me what happened.”

Kyle wiped at his eyes where tears were starting to form. Blood smeared onto his face and into his hair. Kyle wasn’t even sure whose blood it was. Was it Tess’s or was it his father’s? It could be someone else’s too. Maybe Michael’s?

The thoughts were morbid, but Kyle couldn’t push them away. He felt sick and all he wanted to do was throw up or pass out.

“Sir please.”

“I… I don’t know what happened… I found my friends… in blood.”

“Ok, are they alive? Are the conscious?”

“I don’t know.” Kyle replied staring down at his hands. “I’m in the kitchen.”

“I need you to go take their pulse. You need to see if they are still alive and breathing. Can you do that for me?”

“Yeah…” Kyle said softly. He wasn’t sure he was going to be able to do this, but he had to try. He crawled back over to Tess’s body. She looked so small, laying on the floor, her body cut in different places. Bruises lined her jaw, arms and legs.

Kyle brushed a strand of her hair away from her face and found himself looking into two very dead blue eyes. There wasn’t any movement at all. The pair just stared at him, crying out for help.

“I… she’s dead.” Kyle said into the receiver, but it was mostly to himself. “God Tess I’m sorry. I can’t save you.” He said again.

“Sir… sir… please get out of the way.”

Kyle didn’t feel himself being picked up by the paramedics, or how he backed himself into the wall. The phone slipped from his hands and he no longer cared about the woman who had been on the other end.

“Did you find them all like this?” One of the women paramedics asked him.

“I found them…” Kyle answered, not really sure what he was saying anymore.

“Damn it Roberts, get a police car here. This kid is in shock. I think he found them like this… kid are you with me… kid…”


Kyle looked up and noticed he was no longer in Michael’s apartment, but seated in a waiting chair at the hospital.

“I’m Doctor Mills and this is Deputy Hanson. I believe you know him.”

Kyle just nodded not real sure how to reply. He wasn’t even sure how he had gotten to the hospital.

“Kyle… I know this isn’t easy for you. But we really need to know what happened to your friends and your father. Did you find them in Michael’s apartment?”

Kyle nodded again, rubbing at his fingers. They looked stained now. With Tess’s blood he now knew for sure. It would probably never fully wear off.

“Were any of them alive when you got there?”

Kyle shook his head no.

He was trying to concentrate on what else the deputy was asking him, but he kept hearing a woman yelling behind him.

“I got a call to come here, something about my daughter being injured, now I want to know what the hell is going on!”

“I’m sorry miss, but I need you to sit down and wait.” The nurse replied.

“I will not sit and wait!” The woman cried out.

Kyle got up from his seat, ignoring the deputy and the doctor’s questions to him. He approached the woman and lightly tapped her on the shoulder.

“Ms. Deluca?”

“Kyle, Jesus, are you here about Maria? Do you know what happened to her? Do you…?” She stopped in mid question and as Kyle watched the path of her eyes scanning over his body he knew why. Kyle was practically covered in blood from crawling over the bodies that had lain in the apartment.

“Kyle… please… what…” Amy didn’t finish before she burst into tears.

“Amy! God, what are you doing here? We got a call about Liz and…” The Parkers ran over to them. Their eyes fell on Kyle who was standing dumbfounded near the crying Amy Deluca.

“Kyle what happened?” Mr. Parker asked. Kyle noticed the tears in the parent’s eyes and he wasn’t sure how to respond. His brain was still trying to process what had happened, it hadn’t quite set in yet.

“Kyle, come here, we still have some questions for you to answer.” Hanson said, trying to pull him away.

“No!” Jeff Parker yelled grabbing a hold of Kyle to keep him from moving. Kyle didn’t even bother to fight the hold he had on him.

“What happened to our daughters?”

Kyle looked for the words to form the answer to that question when he saw the Evans followed by the Whitman’s coming into the waiting room.

“Oh dear Amy!” Mrs. Whitman said running up to the frantic Ms. Deluca who was still unable to stop crying.

“What the hell is going on here?” Mr. Evans yelled out and Kyle just started screaming. He couldn’t stop. He threw his hands over his ears to block out the sound of the parents and of the hospital. Kyle’s eyes flew shut as he tried to blank out the image of his friends laying dead in front of him.

Mr. Parker must have released his hold on him, because in the middle of his screaming, Kyle had been pulled away by Hanson and set down in a waiting room chair.

“Kyle we need you to calm down ok? A nurse went to go get you something to drink and then I really need you to focus with me.”

Kyle heard what sounded like screaming and then crying coming from where he just was.

“Did someone tell them?” Kyle asked in a whisper, his eyes still shut tight.

“Yes.” Hanson replied.

“Are my friends really dead? Is my father really gone?” Kyle could hear the hope in his own voice. He knew he had seen their dead bodies, but he was still hoping for a miracle.


With that one word, Kyle felt his world crumble. Tears fell down his face fast and he just shook his head trying to block the world out.

“I’ll give you a few minutes to yourself.” Hanson told him, but Kyle only vaguely heard him.

He tried taking in deep breaths, but nothing was working to calm him down. The sick feeling returned and Kyle’s eyes shot open. He felt weak and his stomach hurt. Without even thinking he got up and ran to the bathroom, throwing up as soon as he reached one of the toilets. He couldn’t stop emptying his stomach.

A doctor must have seen him go in, because there was someone rubbing his back trying to help him. Not that it did any good. Moments later, which felt like years, he finally stopped and went to stand up. The doctor tried to help him, but a wave of dizziness passed through Kyle. Then everything went black.


“I don’t want you disturbing him right now. He’s been through enough don’t you think?”

Voices were starting to surface in the background, but they were still as foreign as his surroundings. Kyle knew he was in a bed, but his body hurt too much to open his eyes and make contact with the voices near him.

“No I completely agree. I was a friend of Kyle’s father. I’ve known Kyle for a long time. I know he needs his rest, but I have my orders. I need a statement from him and I need to bring him down to the station. He saw the crime scene and he knows all those kids. I need to know what happened to them.”

Kyle’s eyes darted back and forth behind his eyelids. The past few hours were catching up to him and the remembrance of what happened ran through is memory. His fists clenched and unclenched as a flash ran through him, something he was unaccustomed too.

// Flash //

“Kid… come on kid, stay with me here. Roberts where are the damn cops?” The paramedic yelled.

“They are on their way. I told them what we arrived to. Should we pack up all the bodies?” The male paramedic asked.

“No. We have to leave them, they are already dead and this is a crime scene. Wait until the police get here. They know what to do in these situations though. Let’s put this kid in the ambulance though, as soon as the deputy shows up we can get him to the hospital. Poor kid, I can’t even imagine walking in on this mess.”

// Flash //

Kyle’s eyes shot open. He hadn’t remembered what happened to him before he got to the hospital, but now he had a glimpse of it. A crime scene. His mind tried to focus as he realized that’s exactly what Michael’s apartment had become. A crime scene, like in all the murder movies. Bodies everywhere, covered in blood. Carpets stained in crimson. Eventually the bodies would be removed, no longer needed since they were no longer people. Chalk outlines would lie across the floor. Everything tagged and fingerprints taken. Kyle had seen nearly every murder mystery movie ever made, he knew what would happen by heart, could practically see what Michael’s apartment would look like in his head. The part that made the visual so hard was that this time it was real.

“You’re awake.”

Deputy Hanson walked over to the bed and stood next to Kyle looking down at him. “How are you doing son?”

How the fuck do you think I am? My closest friends and my father were just murdered?

“Fine.” He replied in monotone.

“Kyle.” He started. Kyle could hear by the tone of his voice that he was trying to be sincere and sympathetic. It wasn’t working.

“I know this has been a rough night for you, but as soon as you are feeling better I need you to come down to the station with me and answer a few questions. Do you think you can do that?”

Kyle didn’t want to answer any questions. He didn’t even want to think about what happened. As far as he was concerned it was all a very bad dream that he would wake up from soon. The look in the deputy’s eyes let him know that he really had no choice and was going to need to answer the questions anyway.

“Sure.” Kyle replied, not saying anything else to him.

“Alright, doctor, I’m going to take him down to the station right now, so the detectives that came in can question him.”


The next ten minutes were a blur for Kyle as the doctor checked to make sure if he was all right and then he had to change back into his normal clothes. The next thing he knew, the deputy and three other officers were escorting him out of the room and keeping a tight hold on him. It almost seemed like they were afraid he would get away.

“What the hell is going on?”

Kyle heard shouting coming from near him, but he just kept his head down and kept walking.

“Unhand me! Where are you taking that boy?”

“Ma’am, please calm down. The other officers are taking him in for questioning. Nothing serious. Why don’t you go sit back down?”

“I will not sit down!”

Kyle shot a glance over and saw a tearful Amy Deluca yelling at one of the many officers. All he wanted to do was run over to her and cry with her, but he wasn’t being given that luxury.

Kyle felt himself being pulled in another direction away from where she was. More crying was heard near him, but he refused to look up this time. He didn’t want to see the pain and sorrow in the other families’ eyes. He just wouldn’t be able to bear it. Not now, and possibly not ever.

“Just keep walking Kyle, we are almost out of the hospital.” Deputy Hanson said into Kyle’s ear.

There were mumbled voices near him and another cop with one of the parents. Kyle didn’t know who it was until the voices raised.

“That bastard saw my daughter die and I want to know where the fuck he is going? No one is answering my god damn questions! I want to know what happened to my daughter!”

Kyle rubbed at his eyes to keep tears from falling. At the sound of Mr. Parker’s voice, Kyle’s mind flashed on the image of Liz dead on the floor. Her body broken and lain nearly on top of Max. He wondered, with a new found morbid curiosity, who died first? Did Liz die first and Max died holding her in his arms, or did Max die, causing Liz incredible pain before her life was taken? Was it quick, did they feel pain?

He clutched his head as he was physically dragged through the doors of the hospital and shoved into the back of one of the squad cars. Imagines of his friend’s dead haunting him the whole trip to the station.


There was a piece of paper sitting in the middle of the brown desk. It was white with nothing written on it. Just blank, which he found to be sad. The poor piece of paper was useless. It had yet to find its purpose in life. That’s why it was still unmarred with ink. The insignificant piece of paper just laid there, mocking him in it’s hopelessness. It was almost like a mirror, reflecting his own blank expression.

Kyle couldn’t take his eyes off the paper. He wasn’t even sure where he was, all he knew was the paper in front of him was trying to tell him something about himself. Was it that he himself was now as worthless as the paper? Or was it that no one had a use for him now that he had nothing displayed on his features? It was a puzzle Kyle was determined to discover. In the back of his mind though he knew he was supposed to be doing something else, something important.


His eyes snapped up, breaking his staring contest with the paper. Reality slammed into him when he saw the detectives staring at him, and the deputy behind him trying to be as uninvolved as possible.

“Kyle we need you to answer these questions. The sooner you do the sooner we’ll be done.” One of the detectives said to him. The man appeared to be in his forties from what Kyle could guess. He was always bad with guessing people’s ages.

“Ok.” He forced himself to reply.

“Alright. Now, when you reached the apartment, was there anyone in there, other than the deceased?”

Kyle shook his head no.

“Ok, did you see anyone leaving the apartment or the building when you got there?” The other detective asked. He looked about in his late twenties. He had short blond hair and bright blue eyes that were calling to Kyle.

“Her eyes were always so blue.” Kyle mumbled, losing his train of thoughts again.

“Whose eyes?” The twenty-year old asked.

“So blue.”

“Kyle focus.” The older detective said, snapping his fingers right in front of Kyle’s face to get his attention. Kyle had visions of taking those two fingers and snapping them right off his hand. It would be easy too, and real quick. Then he could see the red again, the red that had covered his friend’s bodies.

“Did you notice anyone leaving the apartment when you got there?”

Kyle shook his head no and slouched back in his seat.

“What were you and your friends meeting there? And why was your father attending this group activity with teenagers?”

“We…” Kyle felt his voice squeaking, he would kill for a glass of water. Kill. Killing. Dead.

“Amy Deluca. Maria’s mom. Her birthday is coming up. My dad had a thing for her. We… we were getting together to plan her party.”

“Kyle why weren’t you in attendance at this group meeting?” The older detective asked him. He was looking at Kyle strangely and Kyle didn’t like it. The look was making him uneasy.

“Practice.” Kyle coughed out. “I had basketball practice.”

“Alright, this is enough.” Deputy Hanson finally spoke out. “Can I please let him go? You’ve got your statements for him, he needs to just get out of here for awhile.”

“Kyle.” The older detective leaned across the table to look at him. He had this funny scar on his forehead, Kyle wondered how he had gotten it. Was he shot at in a near death experience? Did he almost bleed to death from the simple wound that forever left him with a scar?

“We’re going to speak to the deputy out in the hall, you just sit in here for a few minutes.”

He nodded again and watched the three men disappear behind the door. Kyle couldn’t make out the words, but he heard yelling from what sounded like Deputy Hanson. Then new voices added into the mix as the heated discussion fueled forward. Kyle wished he could hear what they were saying better, it might have helped to take his mind off the fact that he was sitting in his father’s office.

No. Kyle berated himself. It was my father’s office. He’s dead now or did you already forget that.

Kyle rubbed at his head, trying to get the voices to stop. The door behind him creaked open and Deputy Hanson came into the room. Just him by himself and he let the door shut slowly behind him.

“Kyle…” He started, but Kyle cut him off quickly.

“Can I go home please? Or just somewhere? I don’t want to be here anymore.”

“I’m afraid I can’t let you go. The detectives want to keep you here, just over night.”

The deputy kept explaining to Kyle about staying at the station and rambling about how it wouldn’t be for long. How the detectives had some more investigating to do and wanted to keep him close by. Kyle wasn’t stupid, he was able to read between the lines.

“They think I had something to do with my friends dying don’t they? Don’t lie to me. They think I did this?” Kyle snapped.

“It’s not that you are a suspect. They just need to check out your story. It would be best that you aren’t alone anyway Kyle. We’ll keep you here tonight and in the morning you’ll be able to go back home.”

What was home now? Kyle wondered. He couldn’t stay in his house for very long, with his dad gone he couldn’t pay for it. The future that was so clear moments before arriving to Michael’s apartment was now a void. There was nothing there now, just uncertainty.


The wool was itchy and hurt his face, but the scratchy blanket kept him bathed in darkness as Kyle lay with his back on the cot in the jail cell. He was trying to get his mind to shut down so he could get some sleep, but it was nearly impossible. Not when all he could think about was the detectives thinking he had been responsible for the murder of his whole family. Thinking on it made his stomach hurt and his eyes burn.

Kyle pulled the blanket tighter on him, trying to keep warm. All he wanted to do was fall asleep and never wake up. Sometimes he just wasn’t lucky though.

“Kyle you can leave now.” Deputy Hanson said disturbing him as he opened up the cell.

“What time is it?” Kyle asked, throwing the blanket off his face.

“Nearly noon.” A different voice said from behind him. Kyle sat up and looked right into the eyes of Amy Deluca.

“My heaven’s what have these people done to you. Come on Kyle. I’m taking you back to my house so you can get some rest.” Amy said grabbing his hand.

“But… I…” Kyle started, but Amy silenced him with her finger.

“We can talk later.”

Kyle just nodded, just thankful to have someone coming to his rescue.

They walked steadily through the main office of the station. Kyle didn’t notice until a light flashed in his face that the entire room was crawling with reporters. They all started shouting questions at him and Amy. Other officers were pushing them back as Amy continued to drag him through the mess, till they were outside and in the safety of her car.

Nothing was said, as they rode in silence back to Ms. Deluca’s house. They didn’t even say anything when they got inside. Amy just led him back into one of the bedrooms. It looked like it hadn’t been used in awhile, so Kyle figured it was a guest room. Without a word, Amy led him to the bed and Kyle crawled into the center of it. He felt her place a soft cotton blanket over his body, right before he drifted into sleep.

Last edited by ChrissyP47 on Thu Jun 09, 2005 6:18 pm, edited 18 times in total.

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Part 2

Post by ChrissyP47 » Tue May 10, 2005 4:30 pm

Author's Note: Thanks to everyone who is being patient with this fic. It's not an easy read. I'm so glad to see a few people who were reading the fic back and then some new people as well. Makes me all happy inside.

I promised a part a day and then I got sick and had a final sneak up on me. ;) I'm done with finals as of today so more posting awaits you. :-D

Here we go, onto part two.

Part 2

A muffled voice was coming from behind the closed door that Kyle had been staring at for nearly twenty minutes. Between whispers, yelling and crying, Kyle figured Ms. Deluca had called her whole family and they were all on their way to be at her house and support her.

He wasn’t sure what he should do now. Eventually he needed to walk out of the comfort of the guest bedroom, but a part of him just wanted to be forgotten about in the small room.

Kyle had slept through the day and into the next. His dreams had been haunted with visions of his friends. At that moment he was choosing to ignore the painful memories and just focus on the woman talking on the other side of the door.

Amy had saved him from another night in jail, not to mention given him a place to sleep so he didn’t have to return to his empty home. She was his savior for the moment. But now he had to face her, and to say he was scared was an understatement.


Her voice was now in front of the door now and he felt like he couldn’t ignore her. Instead of forming a verbal response, Kyle opened the door and just stood there looking at his feet. He couldn’t bear to meet her gaze yet. He was sure that there would be tear tracks on her face, her eyes would be blood shot and her entire body would show her fatigue.

“My sister and her son are going to be here in a few hours.” Amy started telling him slowly while she walked over to the couch.

Kyle nervously followed her and sat down.

“My mother and father should be here tonight. With all these people here I’m going to need you to sleep on the couch.”

Kyle finally looked up at her with shock written on his face. She wasn’t going to kick him out. That was probably the best thing that had happened to him since he opened Michael’s front door.

“When everyone gets here I’m going to need to be strong. I need to feed all these people and I have to start planning for the memorial service. So in the few hours before they all start arriving, could the two of us just sit here in misery?”

Kyle could hear the sorrow in the woman’s voice. She looked older than he knew her to be and figured for every day Maria was dead it was going to age Amy just a little more. Some portion of Kyle was telling him to run. He knew for the next couple of hours Amy was going to be a wreak in front of him. Kyle wasn’t sure he could handle that, but he also didn’t want to be alone. There was also that part of him that felt responsible for their deaths and he wanted to be there to support Amy.

Kyle nodded at Amy’s request, it was the least he could do for her. She slid closer to him and let Kyle in under the huge blanket she had herself wrapped in. The two of them sat there in silence, huddled together under the comfort of the quilt around them.

Amy placed her head on Kyle’s shoulder and he heard her softly crying. Kyle wasn’t sure what do to for her, so instead he just closed his eyes and let himself cry. That was all either one of them could do.


“I don’t fucking care if you don’t have any sunflowers right now. Find some!” Amy screamed into the phone before slamming it down on the counter.

“I’m guessing that is a no on the sunflowers then huh?” Kyle said without looking from his list.

“No. They were Maria’s favorite, I’m going to find sunflowers even if I have to drive to the surface of the sun to get them.” Amy said before sitting down at the table with Kyle.

After all of Amy’s relatives piled into the house, Kyle and her had thrown themselves together so they could begin the process of the funerals. After two days they still had way too many arrangements to make. Kyle was impressed with the way Amy acted. She not only was doing things for Maria’s, but she was helping him with a few things for his dad’s and they had taken on the task for making arrangements for Michael and Tess. Since neither of them had any family members to speak of.

“When did Sean say he would be back?” Amy asked referring to Maria’s cousin who had run out to the store for food.

“Umm…” Kyle glanced at the clock on the wall. “He should be back soon.”

“Good. I am so hungry.” Amy said, grabbing the lists from Kyle. “When was the last time you ate?” She asked in that mothering tone without looking up.

“I had a bite earlier.” Kyle lied.

“Kyle you better eat something today. I might not be your mother, but still, you need to eat something.” Amy said, finally looking at him. She had that worried expression on her face that he was sure all mothers got when they were concerned about their children. Not that he would know.

“Speaking of your mother…” Amy started, but Kyle quickly cut her off.

“I don’t know where she is, I don’t know her number and I really don’t care.” Kyle said quickly. Amy had been bouncing around it all day and Kyle knew he needed to get it out in the open.

His mother took off on them when he was six. She’d left her phone number in case of an emergency and from what Kyle knew his dad would receive a letter every few months with a new number from her. His father always threw the number up in the attic somewhere though, so Kyle didn’t know where it was. Not that he really cared. How could he care about someone who abandoned him as a child and didn’t care enough to write even once to say she missed him or worried about him?

“Alright.” Amy said, not pushing the subject any farther.

The phone began to ring bringing them out of their silent working. Amy picked up it quickly.

“Hello. Yes he is. Sure, I’ll tell them. Thank you.” Amy finished the conversation quickly before hanging it up.

“Who was that?” Kyle asked.

“It was Deputy Hanson. He needs you to come down to the station to work out a few things I guess. I don’t know why they couldn’t just wait till later.”

“It’s alright.” Kyle said interrupting what could have been a long rant. “I’ll head over there now.” He said standing up.

“Do you want me to go with?” Amy asked.

“No. I can handle it. You need to yell at the flower lady some more anyway.”

Amy just nodded before picking up the phone again.

Kyle started to walk out the back door before an idea came into his head. “Hey Amy.” He said while during around.

“Yes?” She replied, her ear to the phone.

“Can you order some white lilies or something like that… for… for Tess?” He asked, a little bit of hesitancy in his voice.

“Sure.” Amy said with a small smile.

Kyle just nodded and went out the door. He considered going back in and getting the car keys from Amy, but somehow he couldn’t imagine driving in Maria’s car. It would be too weird. Like he was taking her place. He wouldn’t do that. Plus the walk would be good for him.

It was still a little chilly out, so he should have had a jacket wrapped around him. The cold air felt good though. It reminded him that he was still alive, even as it froze his insides. When it was cold you could always feel your heartbeat better than when it was hotter out. His heartbeat doubled as he reached the front doors of the police station. There were a lot of cars parked near by and he still saw a few news vans from Albuquerque. There were a couple of police cars from Albuquerque too. Probably for the investigation.

Taking a deep breath, Kyle breezed inside and was hit from the warmth of the heater that was on in the building. He didn’t feel so alive anymore.

“There he is!” Two reporters and three cameramen stormed over to him.

Questions were fired at him quickly and Kyle wasn’t sure how to respond, if he should even respond at all.

“What happened? Did you see who killed them?”

“Where your friends involved in some form of drug smuggling?”

“How are you involved in all of this?”

Kyle was just about to grab one of the microphones and shove it up the reporter’s ass, when he heard someone yell out.


Deputy Hanson and three other officers came running over to him.

“I told you guys to stay out of here. There will be a press conference tomorrow, until then I suggest you stay at the hotel we put you up in and stop harassing our citizens.”

Hanson will probably make Sheriff now. He’s handling the situation so well. Kyle thought as he watched the reporters saunter out of the building.

“I’m sorry about that Kyle. I didn’t know they were still here.” Hanson apologized. He started saying other things, but Kyle was barely paying attention as he was being taken into a back room. The same room he had been interrogated in.

Kyle sat down in one of the chairs while Hanson sat across from him. There was silence for a moment before he started talking again.

“Are you ok over at Amy’s?”

Kyle just nodded, he really didn’t want to be answering questions now.

“Kyle.” Hanson started, before he got up and started pacing. Kyle watched him, he looked nervous and a little fidgety.

“I know you don’t want to be doing this right now, but there are a few things that need to be taken care of.”

This wasn’t going to be good. Didn’t Kyle have enough to be dealing with? It was hard enough having to spend every waking moment knowing your family was dead, but now there were “things” that needed to be taken care of.

“What things?” Kyle asked, biting back on his anger.

“Well, the funeral is being taken care of by us. Your father as a lot of pension and benefits that help with that. The memorial service is also taken care of by us, it’s our personal thing we do for an officer that is killed.”

“Alright.” That didn’t sound too bad to Kyle, although, he knew they wouldn’t have asked him to come down to the station if that was all they wanted.

“Your house is going to need to be sold though.”

Kyle felt his heart slam into his chest. He hadn’t thought about the house since he left it the morning of the incident. Somewhere in his mind he knew that he couldn’t keep it, not with the mortgage still on it. Although, the prospect of losing the last thing he could tie to his childhood and his father was devastating.

“The money made for the house can be split in a few ways. One will be to pay off any outstanding debts your dad might have had. Then it can also be used to help you pay for Tess’s arrangements. I know you were the only family she had to speak of, so that will help with that. Also, a good portion of the money will need to go to your Grandfather to continue to pay for his stay at the nursing home.”

Kyle felt a little faint and his head started to pound. With everything that had happened, the reality of how much of his life was disappearing was falling down on him. He’s forgotten about this Grandfather and wondered if he should drive out there and tell him what happened. That thought passed quickly, his Grandfather wouldn’t remember anyway, no point in upsetting him.

This was turning into a nightmare. Much worse than just knowing his family was gone from his life. So many things he had relied on here slipping away from him. He wasn’t sure how to deal with all of this. His dad usually handled everything, now it was his responsibility.

“Everything left from the house we can put in an account for you. You could use it for college or whatever you want.”

Kyle nodded, he didn’t think it could get any worse. Then it did.

“We tried to contact your mother.”

“Why?!” Kyle suddenly shouted. That was the final straw, he was not going to have his mother involved in this.

“If something were to happen to you, your father wanted you to go to your god parents. But they both died when you were 10. Your grandmother has been dead for quite some time now and your grandfather is unable to care for you. You’re not yet 18 so we can’t leave you on your own. Your mother is the only one left. Although, we were unable to get a hold of her. The next option we have is foster care. The people from social services want to see you after the funeral to discuss a setting for you. Or you can try and get emancipated. Like Michael was.”

Kyle felt nauseous. On top of everything, the government wanted to shove him into a home with strange people for a year until he was 18 and legally on his own. Hadn’t he been through enough?

“This is a lot to take in, I know. Your father’s lawyer will be here in a few days to discuss the will reading and to help you with where all the money is going to go. If you could come back on Friday, with Amy, we also need to talk about what is going to happen for Michael. I know Amy has decided to take it upon herself to make arrangements for him, but she needs help.”

Kyle nodded. He was done talking. He was about ready to get up and leave, when Hanson put something on the table in front of him.

“The bod… they were searched for personal items. Most of them didn’t have anything, but an empty wallet on them. We’re assuming if they had any money or if the girls had any jewelry it was all stolen. This was all we found on your dad.”

Kyle picked up the tarnished silver star and ran his fingers over it. It was still smooth like the first time his dad had ever worn it. Kyle still remembered the day his dad came home Sheriff. Kyle had been about six, and his dad had walked into the room so proud. Announcing that he had made Sheriff. His mom had gone ballistic, screaming about what now, Kyle couldn’t recall, all he remembered was her screaming and crying and throwing dishes across the room. It was traumatic for a six year old to see that kind of behavior from one of his parents. It might have been why a part of him always resented his father for becoming Sheriff in the first place.

Something filtered into Kyle’s find through his memories and he looked back up at Hanson.

“Wait, there was no jewelry on any of the girls?” Kyle asked.


“Are you sure?” Kyle said a little faster, standing up in his chair. “Are you positive Tess wasn’t wearing a silver chain with a silver ring on it? Please, tell me she was?”

“I’m sorry Kyle. They were all stolen.”

Kyle collapsed down back in the chair and put his head in his hands. He could feel tears coming again, but he refused to cry.

“That was my Grandmother’s wedding ring. I gave it to Tess for Christmas.” He mumbled to himself.

“I need to get out of here.” He said more directly. Kyle stood up and started to walk out of the room, the silver star clutched tightly in his hand.

“I’ll call Amy and have her come get you.”

“NO!” Kyle screamed turning around. “Doesn’t she have enough to do? Leave her alone.”

“Then is there someone to call to come get you, it’s cold outside and you probably shouldn’t be walking.”

“You should know there is no one. You’ve already made that blatantly obvious today that I have no one else left in the whole world. Just leave me alone. I’ll be back whenever.”

With that Kyle stormed out of the police station. It was colder outside, but it felt better. He started on the long way home, felling the points on the star digging into his hands. People were staring at him as he walked and whispering silently. Roswell was a small town, he should have known something like this would cause the whole town to stop and mourn. He just wished they didn’t look at him, like he was the killer.

He kept walking, stepping up his pace a bit to escape the burning he could feel from all their eyes. He’s just started to block out everything when he found himself in front of a very familiar place. The Crashdown café.

Kyle realized he hadn’t seen the Parker’s since that day in the hospital. He’d been so busy with his own preparations and hurting that the notion of what it was doing to the Parker’s hadn’t filtered through. He’s been so caught up in the loss of Tess and his father that he forgot how much Liz meant to him. Liz was gone now too.

The inside of the Crashdown looked dark and ominous. There was a closed sign on the front window that he figured had been there for a few days. No one could be seen from inside. The usually busy restaurant was completely deserted.


Kyle spun around and saw Mrs. Parker standing behind him.

“Mrs. Parker?” He said in near shock. “I… ummm…”

Kyle wasn’t sure what to say to her. What did you say to someone after their only daughter died? He had that problem with Amy sometimes too.

The older woman rubbed at her eyes and sniffled a little. All signs that she either had been crying or was on the verge of crying.

“You are staying with Amy Deluca right?” She asked, pulling a tissue out of her purse and blowing her nose.

“Yeah.” Kyle replied.

“Will you tell her that… that we’re having all the families gather here after… after the… the funeral?” She choked out the question and Kyle could only imagine how painful it was for her to say those words.

“I’ll tell her.” Kyle responded.

Mrs. Parker nodded slowly in recognition and got a terrible look of sadness cross her face. Kyle started to step forward to offer her some form of comfort, but stopped when he heard another voice.

“Nance, what are you doing still out here? I thought you were coming in?” Mr. Parker said while coming from around the corner to stand next to his wife. Mrs. Parker started to say something, but Mr. Parker cut her off when he noticed Kyle standing there.

“What are you doing here?”

The anger in his voice surprised Kyle at first, but in a way he understood it. He hated himself too.

“I was walking back to Ms. Deluca’s.”

“I told him to tell Amy to come over after the service, Jeff. I don’t want Amy to be alone, Maria was all she had.” Mrs. Parker said softly.

“And like Liz wasn’t all we had? I don’t understand why we are doing this.” Jeff said with an edge in his voice that Kyle could hear. He was starting to feel forgotten, which was something he had grown accustomed too.

“Jeff, don’t be insensitive. Our friends lost their children too you know. None of us should be alone.” Mrs. Parker said, her voice a little raised and tears falling down her cheeks.

“I know Nance. I know.” He stepped closer to his wife and held her in his arms. Kyle really felt out of place now so he slowly started to walk away. He could hear muffled words being spoken, but only one part of the conversation stood out in his ears.

“It’s not fair. Why did Liz have to die and he got to live?”

“Jeffery! Don’t speak like that!”

Kyle felt rain start to fall from the sky and pound down on this body. It helped to hold back the pain and hurt that buried it’s way into his heart.


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Part 3

Post by ChrissyP47 » Sat May 14, 2005 10:07 am

Part 3

Kyle sat in the attic placing the last of the things up there into boxes. It was the day before the funeral, but Kyle needed to get out of Amy’s house for a while. There were so many people coming by to give their condolences to ‘poor Amy’ and come to bring her support. Kyle hadn’t seen so much as one person come to see how he was doing.

Takes a tragedy to see who your real friends are.

"Too bad all of mine are dead." He voiced allowed.

Kyle was taking the opportunity to pack up the house. There was still a lot to do. Most of it he was just giving to charity, but there were still things he wanted to keep. The bigger things that he wanted were going to go into storage until Kyle could figure out what to do with them. The little things, like his clothes and some pictures and old mementos, Kyle would keep with him and take with him to wherever they were going to dump him next.

The lady from the social services had already called him twice wanting to set up a meeting. Kyle was avoiding it. He hoped if he could just avoid it till his 18th birthday he’d be all set. Unfortunately, that was a year away and he didn’t have anywhere to live between a year and then. Just the idea of spending the next year living with perfect strangers sent a chill down Kyle’s spine.

Before Kyle could think about it more he heard footsteps coming up the stairs.


Kyle looked behind him and saw Amy standing in the entryway.

"Need any help?" She asked.

"No." Kyle replied. "I’m almost done for the day. I just need to grab my suit from my room for tomorrow."


Amy came up behind him and sat down next to him, not saying a word. Kyle just shrugged and went back to packing up all the photo albums that had been left alone for so long in the attic. Amy picked up one of them and started flipping through the pages.

"Your mom."

Kyle looked over and noticed she was looking at the pictures from his parent’s wedding. He’d never seen any of the pictures. For a while a few had been placed around the house, but after his mom left they ‘mysteriously’ disappeared from sight.

"She had a beautiful dress." Amy spoke while flipping through the pages. Kyle had since stopped packing in favor was watching the memories on paper.

"Michelle was friends with my sister. They were really close in high school. I was about four years younger than them, so I really looked up to the two of them. They were popular and smart and gorgeous. When your mom got married to your dad, I remember sitting in the back watching her and thinking how lucky she must be to have found someone when she was so young and know you were going to spend the rest of your life with them."

Amy let out a sigh and shut the photo album, sending up a light cloud of dust.

"I was naïve." Amy placed the book into the box and helped Kyle finish packing.

When they were done, Kyle left the box there and started to walk out of the attic, but Amy stood there.

"Amy?" Kyle questioned, worried that there was something wrong. Besides the obvious.

"A Mrs. Bradshaw called today."


"Why didn’t you tell me they were going to put you into a foster home?" Amy asked in a demanding tone turning to look at him. He could read her expressions and he was plainly clear that she was hurt. Kyle couldn’t figure out why for the life of him.

"It’s no big deal." Kyle said trying to brush it off. With all his power, he was trying to block this out of his mind. Talking about it with Amy wasn’t going to make that any easier. It just made it more real.

"This is a big deal!" Amy screamed at him.

Kyle stood frozen not sure what to say or do. So he stood there and let her rant.

"Kyle you are the last tie I have to my daughter, why the hell would I be happy that they are going to send you off to god knows where to live with god knows who and we may never see you again?"

"Well I’m glad to see someone cares." Kyle replied sarcastically. He rubbed his forehead and felt the tension start to rise into his head.

Turning serious he replied. "Amy, it’s not that I like the idea of them shipping me off to live with some family somewhere like I’m a dog they got from the pound, but I don’t have any relatives to speak of who can care for me. They already even tried to contact my mother and like usual, she was unable to be found. My only other option is to be emancipated and live on my own. Two problems with that, someone has to represent me and speak for me that I can be on my own. That would never happen. And secondly…" Kyle paused not sure if he wanted to continue.

"Secondly…" Amy pushed.

Kyle sighed and leaned against the door. "Secondly, I’m barely seventeen years old. I know I’m not ready to be on my own and having to take care of myself. The idea scares me a little."

There was silence for moment upon moment. Kyle just hung his head and waited for whatever Amy was planning on saying to him. She never said a word. Instead he heard her walk across the room and then he felt her put her arms around him.

"We’ll figure something out." Amy whispered and hugged him tighter. Kyle hugged her back and closed his eyes tightly, wishing for the nightmare to end.


Kyle stood in the mirror, struggling with his black tie. He was never good at putting these things on. The only ever time he had to wear one of these suits, his dad had done his tie for him.

"God damn it!" Kyle grabbed the tie and tossed it in the sink. He was done with the tie, if the tie was going to be a bastard then he wasn’t going to bother putting it on.

Kyle knew at this point that he was starting to lose it. It was hard to be rational when you had to attend the funeral of all your friends. He wished he could take in the comfort of knowing that after today he wouldn’t have to deal with it again, but that wasn’t true. Kyle had to do this all again this next day for his father’s funeral. Somehow that didn’t seem fair.

There was a lot of talking and crying going on outside the closed bathroom door. Since he’d come back to Amy’s yesterday, Kyle had felt completely out of place. Everyone in her family was there being supportive and trying to take care of Amy. It was one of those things that made Kyle feel like he should be somewhere else and stop existing. That was part of the reason why he hadn’t left the bathroom yet. He couldn’t go out there with her family and get in the car while they all cried for the loss of Maria. He didn’t like feeling so out of place.

The door creaked open slowly and Amy walked in. Her black dressed looked a little wrinkled, but Kyle wasn’t going to comment. He was sure Amy didn’t care. Her eyes were already a little bloodshot from crying and the funeral hadn’t even started yet.

"You ready?" Amy asked.

"Yeah." Kyle reached into the sink and pulled out his tie. "Just need to get this on."

"Here let me help you." Amy shut the bathroom door behind her and walked over to Kyle. She took the tie from him and carefully started to put it around his neck. Kyle just watched her, while she tied his tie for him. There was a little twinge in his heart and Kyle felt tears prick at his eyes. He didn’t understand why he was hurting so much from something as stupid as having Amy tie his tie for him, but it made him aware of something he’d always been missing.

A mother.


Kyle stood there, fumbling with the single red rose in his hand. As arranged by all the parents, they were having one funeral ceremony for all the children. It was supposed to make it easier and less painful on the all families. Kyle was just thankful that he would only have to go to two funerals and not eight. His father’s was still tomorrow so it would be one more to sit through.

Amy stood next to him with her head on his shoulder. Her sister was clutching her hand tightly and Amy cried softly as the Minster spoke about each one of them separately.

Kyle just held the rose and blocked out all the voices around him. There was a lot of crying, that he knew. Without being able to hear it he could see the faces of all the parents. All of them looked the same, pale with tears.

The Minster began to speak about Maria. Kyle couldn’t hear the words, but he could feel the despair from Amy coming stronger. He took his rose in his right hand and placed his left arm around Amy to hold her tighter. Kyle looked up towards the sky and tried to escape.

Now that he was standing out on the grass and feeling the cool breeze in his hair, Kyle knew it was real. The death of his friends became more and more real the longer he stood out at Roswell Memorial, with Amy Deluca clinging to his side as she cried.

His friends were finally gone and they weren’t going to come back, no matter how much he wished they would, it was impossible. Kyle brought his attention back to the service at hand. The Minster was just finishing up his last remarks and the attendants started to walk forward, placing flowers on the different caskets. Kyle held back while Amy went over to Maria’s. Family and friends made there way through everyone, then a moment of silence settled over the large group. Finally they all broke away, but Kyle stood there still.

Amy walked up to him and placed her small hand on his shoulder. The question was in her eyes, but Kyle knew she’d never be able to voice it.

"I’ll be at the Crashdown in a minute."

Amy nodded and went back to her sister and nephew who would get her there safely.

Now it was just Kyle, surrounded in the sea of black caskets.

Taking his time, Kyle stepped forward and placed the single red rose he had on top of Tess’s. Slowly, moving himself backwards, Kyle looked around and felt like he was drowning. The people he’s just grown to know as his family were taken away from him in an instant and there was nothing for him to do now.

"Why?" Kyle asked to no one. "Why take them and not me?"

Kyle stumbled sideways and slammed into Liz’s casket. She was the first person he ever cared about, the first girl he dated that he wanted it to be more than it was. His first real friend. The image of her dead flashed through his mind, practically knocking him off his feet. He slid in the other direction and reached out of keep himself from falling. His hands collided back with Tess’s casket and he held on tightly to it.

Finally giving up Kyle just sank to the ground next to where Tess would be laid to the ground and rested his head on the cool black surface.

No one was left but him up on the grounds.

There was no one left but him.


Somewhere around an hour later Kyle made his way back to the Crashdown. He’d gone through the back so no one would notice and made his way up to Liz’s room. After leaving the funeral grounds, a sick reality slammed through him. The secret he’d been forced to bare for his friends, was his alone to carry now. He was the only one left alive who knew the truth. Except that he knew Liz wrote it all in her journal.

Kyle tried to block out the memories he received by being in Liz’s room, but instead he hunted through her things to find the leather bound journal she always wrote in. It would be somewhere well hidden so as to keep anyone from finding it. Liz was a smart girl, she wouldn’t just leave it somewhere so it could be taken and read by someone out of the circle.

After walking around the room for five minutes, Kyle remembered some TV show he watched when he was younger. The girl hid a book behind a loose brick in a wall. Walking over to the wall beside her bed, Kyle ran his hands over the rough stone, feeling for something loose. He finally found one, pulled it out quickly and reached inside, feeling the smooth leather on his fingertips.

At least with his friends being dead, they wouldn’t have to worry about their lives being exposed. It was all Kyle had left that he could do for them.

He took the journal and placed the brick back in its place so no one would even notice it was gone. The Parker’s probably wouldn’t even think to look for it. Running out to Amy’s car he threw it under the front set. He’d have to remember to go back for it later.

Then taking a deep breath he made his way inside of the café where the wake was being held. All he wanted to do was go back to Amy’s and crawl into a bed and never wake up again. That would never happen.

Sliding into a chair on the counter, Kyle kept himself hidden behind all the people in there and prayed that no one would even know he was there until it was time to leave.


Nearly two hours later, Kyle was still sitting there, picking at his food. He really had no intention of eating anything, but Amy had brought it to him and he didn’t want to argue with her about it, especially today.

Most of the people had already gone, the only ones that were still around were all the parents. And himself. Amy was sitting near by him, talking about nothing with Mrs. Parker and Mrs. Whitman. The three women seemed to be trying to fill up the space with whatever conversation they could find.

Mr. Parker and Mr. Whitman were standing together across the room and appeared to be discussing something important. Kyle was too far away to hear a word they were saying.

What was bothering him was the Evans. They weren’t standing too far from him and kept looking in his direction before they would turn back to each other and start talking about something. It was getting on his nerves. If they were going to talk about him they should at least talk louder so Kyle knew what they were saying.

A moment later, Mr. Evans came and took the seat next to him, while Mrs. Evans went to talking with the other mothers.

"How are you Kyle?"

Peachy. Just fucking peachy. How are you?

"Alright." Kyle answered, still looking down at his food.

"Amy told Diane about the social service woman who has been talking to you."

Kyle felt his knuckles going white with how tightly he was clenching his fists. Didn’t anyone have anything better to talk about then his screwed up situation? Probably not. It was probably easy for all the families to sit around and talk about what Kyle was going to do. Then they didn’t have to think about their own pain at losing their children. All Kyle wanted to do was forget his situation and Mr. Evans wanted to talk about it.

"Oh." Kyle decided to respond. He wasn’t sure what he should say, so he’s just left Mr. Evans talk about it if he wanted to. No matter how much it was killing Kyle to even think about it.

"I’d love to represent you. Amy said that you didn’t really want to be on your own, but there are so options you can take. I know that Max and Isabel would have wanted me to do something for you. What Amy was thinking was…" Before he could finish the sound of the door opening brought everyone’s attention to the front of the café. Amy stood up blocking Kyle’s view of the person who came in. Or more, was blocking the person coming in from seeing him.

Kyle peeked between Amy and Mrs. Parker. He could see the woman clearly. Her black dress was short, and wrinkled. She had one black high heel on and was in the process of slipping on another. Her blond hair lay flat going down her back and past her shoulders. Make-up was on her face and appeared as though it had been put on in a haste. The one thing that stood out on her was her bright blue eyes. Kyle closed his eyes and slummed back in his chair.

"Did I miss Jim Valeni’s service? Someone from the church told me to come here, I wasn’t sure if I missed it or not."

"You didn’t miss it it’s tomorrow…" Amy replied.


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Part 4

Post by ChrissyP47 » Mon May 16, 2005 10:27 pm

Part 4

"Amy Deluca. It’s been a long time." The woman said walking closer. "I’m sorry to hear about Maria."

"What the hell do you want?" Amy snapped at her.

"I came here for Jim. And for my son."

"Well he’s…"

"I’m here." Kyle said out of nowhere. He stood up and walked over beside Amy. "I’m here… mom."

His mother, the one person he never wanted to see again, was now standing in front of him. Looking just how he remembered her from when she left him. A mess.

"Look at you. All grown up. Come here."

Kyle went to take a step forward, but Amy stopped him. Amy was the only person that really knew how much he hated his mother. She was looking at him asking with her eyes if this is what he wanted.

Inside, Kyle knew she should stay away from the women who abandoned him so long ago, but she was his mother. He needed family right now, in whatever form it wanted to come in.

So Kyle pushed away from Amy and walked over to the woman who was so much a stranger to him. She pulled him into his arms and hugged him. Kyle just held onto her. He didn’t want to admit how good it felt to have someone who had come for him.

"I’m staying at the Tumbleweed Inn tonight. Why don’t you come stay with me? We can talk and you can tell me all about yourself."

"He’s staying with me." Amy said defensively.

"It’s alright Ms. Deluca. I’ll go stay with my mom tonight." Kyle said looking at her. He knew Amy didn’t want him to go. A part of him knew not to go either, but he had to get away from everyone. Just for one night. He kept telling himself. One night.

No one said anything as the two of them left the Crashdown. They were about the climb into his mother’s car when he remembered the journal.

"I’ll be right back." Kyle said and ran to Amy’s car. He grabbed the journal and was about to run back to his mom, when he saw Amy standing there.

"Kyle… your mom just came back out of nowhere."

"I know." He replied.

"Be careful. I don’t want you to get hurt."

"Anymore than I already am?" Kyle chose to respond. Before Amy could say anything else he walked back to him mom’s car and climbed in. Clutching the journal tightly in his arms.


"So, tell me everything."

Kyle was sitting on the bed in the Tumbleweed Inn, while his mom ran back and forth unpacking the few belongings she must have brought with her.

He was feeling just a little more than uncomfortable and was rethinking his whole decision. How as he supposed to make nice with the person who left him?

"Starting from when? After high school started or the day you abandoned me? You choose." Kyle didn’t mean to sound as harsh as he did, but he had so much bent up anger with her and no reason to not release it.

"Kyle." Michelle stopped what she was doing and came to sit down beside him. "I know you are angry, I wish I could explain to you why I had to leave, but I’m sure you’ll never truly understand. Not ‘til you’re older. I came back now though. When I heard what happened, I came straight back to get you."

Kyle thought about what she said for a moment and then just blew it off. He’d be mad at her later for leaving him. He needed someone too much now to rehash the past.

"How did you find out about it?" He asked.

"It was all over the papers. Talking about how that gang from Albuquerque was responsible. As soon as I read that I came straight here. I didn’t know if you were dead or not because they didn’t mention any of the kid’s names. When I got out to Roswell M I saw all the caskets and had never been so happy before when I didn’t see your name there. I didn’t want you to be dead."

Why do you even care? It’s not like I’m a son to you. Kyle thought. He wanted to voice it out loud, but bit his tongue instead. He just couldn’t fight with her.

"I’ve been living in California now for about five years." Michelle said standing up and walking back around the room. She started digging through her bag before pulling out a pack of cigarettes and lighting one up. She took a puff of it and then blew it out against the mirror. "God I look like shit."

She took another puff and ran her fingers through her hair. "Where was I? Oh yeah. California. I’ve got this pretty good job as a bartender. Makes enough money to pay the rent. Keeps me going."

Michelle finished her cigarette and used her shoe to put it out. Then she came to sit back by Kyle.

"After thinking you were dead it made me realize how I shouldn’t have left you. I want to make it up. I know you don’t have anyone and I’m the sole person responsible for you. So… come back to California with me. You can finish up high school there. Then after that you can do whatever you want, but give me the chance to take care of you in this last year. I’m sure your dad would have wanted it this way."

Probably not. Kyle thought, but he didn’t have too many choices.

"I’ll let you think about it. I’m leaving in three days though. I have to go back to work sooner than I would like too. Antonio doesn’t like when we miss too many days. So you know…" She got up again and lit another cigarette. "You think about it and then you let me know and we can pack up some of your stuff and go together."

Kyle just nodded. He didn’t like this. It felt wrong. Everything inside him told him this was an easy decision. He couldn’t go with her. His father never would have wanted him to end up with his mother after the way she left them both, but it would be so easy. To leave everything behind and go away with her. Away from Roswell. Away from the pain.

He would have to think about it. He’d think about it all night. And then after the service in the morning, he’d tell Amy he was leaving Roswell to go be with his mother.


Another day. Another funeral.

Kyle stood next to his mother with his head down. He felt like he was eight years old again. Standing out in the fields next to his mother, she made him feel so little. Probably because the last time he had seen her he was still a child. That had to be it.

The service seemed to drag on. All Kyle wanted was for it to be over. Then he could pack up his things, make the last of the arrangements with the lawyer and just get the hell out of Roswell. He still hadn’t told Amy yet. Kyle knew that made him a coward, but he just couldn’t stick around. Seeing Amy every day would be a constant reminder that he had lived and her only daughter had died. Wasn’t something that would be easy to live with. Kyle needed to put miles between him and the pain in her eyes.

More and more people from the police station continued to get up and speak about his father. Kyle let it pass over him. He didn’t want to hear any of what was being said. People who had attended the service kept shooting looks in his direction and it made Kyle want to scream. People lost their father’s everyday, why did they have to look at him like he was a virus?

Kyle rubbed at his eyes that had yet to see sleep in the past few days. The sun was shinning high above them. Too nice of a day for there to be such a sad ceremony.

A smile crept on Kyle’s face. The last time it had been this nice, his dad and him had gone fishing. They had talked about their next fishing trip, they were going to drag Tess with them. She had protested saying fish were "icky" and she didn’t want to have to touch one. Kyle would have bet anything that had his dad and Tess not died, they would just be getting back from the fishing trip now. Kyle would be teasing Tess about how she wouldn’t touch a fish and his dad would just be laughing at them. Then, later, they’d sit down for dinner and talk about the day. Tess probably would have brought a camera and taken pictures too. She’d gotten into a habit of taking pictures and making photo albums. That was something Kyle was going to miss. There were a lot of things Kyle was going to miss.

"You ready Kyle?" His mom asked. Kyle looked around and noticed that people were starting to leave, meaning the service was over.

"I really need a cigarette. Come on, we need to get back to your old place and start packing some things up right?" She asked, almost like she wasn’t sure if that was what needed to be done or not. Kyle let out a small sigh and nodded.

They started to make the walk down the hillside back to where all the cars were parked. His mom kept an arm over his shoulder, keeping him close. Kyle assumed it was her way of being supportive, but it felt more like he was laying her claim on him. To keep him away from everyone else near by. Not that Kyle wanted to be talking to anyone anyway. A few people were whispering and pointing as they walked by. Kyle just kept his head down, he didn’t want to know what those people were saying about him and his mom. His mom coming back to Roswell made town gossip in a fraction of a second. Now everyone wanted to know everything. God, he couldn’t wait to be away from being the discussion on everyone’s lips. He just wanted to disappear.

"Kyle!" He heard someone call out for him.

"Shit." His mom muttered under her breath. "She’s not going to leave us alone is she?"

Amy ran up to them, by the time she reached their side, his mom was digging her fingers right into Kyle’s shoulder.

"Kyle. Are you coming back to my place tonight? You left all your stuff there." Amy asked nicely, looking down at Kyle.

He went to respond, but his mom cut in for him.

"No Amy he’s not. We’re going back to his house to pack up some stuff and then we’re leaving for California tomorrow. Well… after we have all the paperwork signed."

Amy was staring down at him, with this look he couldn’t read. Most likely disappointment. Everyone was disappointed in him already, might as well add Amy to his list.

She looked up to glare at his mom for a moment before looking back at him and speaking. "Are you sure that’s what you want to do?"

"Did you hear what I said?" Michelle snapped out.

"Was I talking to you Michelle?" Amy snapped back.

Kyle covered his ears with his hands and closed his eyes. He didn’t want to listen to them arguing over him. Or whatever it was they were arguing about. He just wanted to forget. To disappear again.


Kyle snapped out of his trance when he heard Amy saying his name and placing her hands over his. Slowly he lowered his eyes and opened his to look at her.

"Do you really want to leave Roswell and go with your mom?" She asked.

Kyle looked back at his mom who was standing off to the side staring up at the sky looking pissed about something. Then he looked back at Amy. She looked scared. He had no idea what she could possibly be scared about, but he had to ignore the fear that was radiating off of her.

"I don’t have a choice." Kyle replied in a whisper so only Amy could hear him. "I have to get out of here for awhile. My mom might not be the greatest person in the whole world, but she’s my mom. I need to make this work."

Amy nodded and gave him a smile, a small tear started to fall down her face and Kyle reached up to wipe it away.

"You know, you always have a family here. And if something doesn’t work I want you to come back here. I think Maria and your father would have wanted me to take care of you now, but I understand why you need to do this. Doesn’t mean I trust your mom though." Amy told him. She was giving him a great offer and Kyle knew that, if it didn’t work with his mom he’d come back. At least he hoped he would.

"Thank you for everything Amy."

She came forward and enveloped him in her arms. "I think I should be thanking you. You be careful. Take care of yourself and make sure you call me when you get there."

Amy released him from the hug and Kyle just stared at her with a smile on his face. "Ok, ‘mom’." They both smiled and hugged again.

"Come on Kyle let’s go." Michelle called from behind him, sounding slightly annoyed.

"I gotta go. I’ll call you when I get there I promise." With that Kyle walked away from Amy and back over to his mom so they could make their way back to the car.


Kyle was throwing the last of his mom’s junk into the trunk of her rundown car. He’d already spent most of the morning getting stacks of paperwork filled out. Then he had to get the last of his stuff that wasn’t coming with him put into storage. Now his mom was bitching at him to get the car packed up.

"Car ready yet?" Michelle asked, leaning again the hood while smoking another cigarette.

"Almost." Kyle replied.

"Good. I can’t wait to get out of this shitty town. I forgot how much I didn’t miss it here."

Kyle slammed the truck close, causing Michelle to jump back in shock.

"Jesus, be careful with that thing, this car isn’t exactly in great shape." Michelle complained. "We ready now."

"Yeah." Kyle replied. "Let me just grab something from in the motel.

"Well hurry up." Michelle said, climbing into the car.

Kyle ran back into the smoke-smelling motel room and went over to the bed he’d been sleeping in. He reached between the mattresses and pulled out the leather bound journal. It was the last tie he had to his friends and the secret they all shared.

Kyle knew he should burn it. He’d only begun to read Liz’s entries and nearly everyone contained something about Max and the others that could expose the truth about them. He should burn it, make all the evidence disappear and wipe away that part of his life.

Honking could be heard coming from the car where his impatient mother was. Looking down at the journal in his hands he knew he couldn’t let go yet. So as he got up and made his way back to the car, he held the journal tightly in his hands. Once he finished reading it, he’d burn it. He’d just wait till he was done with it, then he’d learn to let go.

"Can we go now please? I’d like to not get fired from my job."

Kyle buckled himself into the car and took one last look down the road at the town. It was going to be the last time he’d see Roswell for a while. The town where he grew up. All of his memories were from that place and as he looked out at the dust filled road he knew that’s all they would be now was memories.

"Yeah we can go."

Kyle was leaving a part of him behind as they made their way out of town. He knew things weren’t going to be the same and with every mile they put between him and his dead friends, Kyle felt a little bit of his own self die too.

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Post by ChrissyP47 » Fri May 20, 2005 7:25 am

Part 5

Five Years Later

"Jesus Christ would you get off my back!?"

"Don’t you walk away from me. I’m not finished talking to you."

"Yeah well, you’re boring me. I’m going out."

"It’s midnight. You aren’t going anywhere. You have been leaving this apartment a mess and haven’t been keeping up with the rent."

Kyle threw his coat against the wall and turned around.

"Bull shit! I pay my share of the rent every month Michelle. I work my ass off at that god damn garage just so you can work less hours and spend time with that prick who’s been stickin’ it in you."

"Get the fuck out!"

"I thought you said I wasn’t going anywhere." He said smugly.

"Argh!" Michelle picked up a plate off the counter and threw it in his direction. Kyle just stepped to the side and watched as the ceramic smashed up against the wall.

"That was a waste. I’ll be back whenever." With that Kyle picked up his coat again and walked out of the apartment slamming the door behind him.

Michelle was getting on his nerves. She’d been getting on his nerves since he dropped out of high school nearly five years ago. The high school thing wasn’t working for him; he was failing so there wasn’t any point to continue. All he’d done was get into fights and start trouble. His teachers were happy to see him gone.

He’d gotten his GED and a crummy job fixing up cars at the local garage. He’d promised his mom he’d try college, but Michelle wouldn’t hear any of it. She made him drop out after the first year at the community college so that he could work more and help her pay the rent. He should have left her on her ass years ago, but Kyle couldn’t find it himself to go anywhere. He just didn’t care enough.

Getting on the Metro bus, Kyle dropped his seventy-five into the coin machine and made his way to the back where he knew Carlos would be.

"I was starting to wonder if you were comin’ or not." Carlos said in his thick Mexican accent, as Kyle slid in the seat across from him.

"Of course I was coming. I don’t put up with all that shit at work and home to not go out an enjoy myself every once in awhile."

"Now that’s the attitude, chico. You know, Shelia has been askin’ about you again. You need to stop having a girlfriend if you aren’t going to show up."

"Oh yes, I’m getting relationship advice from Mr. Love’em and Leave’em. Right." Kyle slumped back in his seat and just laughed.

"Si, it is true. I love women. Many women in fact." Carlos agreed with a wink. "But I have never once led a woman to believe it was anything more than a… how do you say… ‘nice time’."

"Well put Carlos. I’ll go see Shelia after work tomorrow. I don’t wanna leave her. She’s good and all."

"Right. Oo… Our stop. Antonio is going to be so glad you came. You owe him money."

Carlos pulled on the rusted cord and the bus driver brought the bus to stop long the curb in front of the old warehouse.

"I owe everyone money Carlos… this is nothing new."

"You are going to wind up dead if you aren’t careful."


Kyle stepped off the bus and could already feel the beats of the heavy music coming from inside the warehouse turned club. He was hoping that he could avoid Antonio, so he didn’t have to put the money up front yet.


"I want my money!"

So much for that.

"You owe me from last week and yet you come in here and expect more. You’re one ballsy son of a bitch you know that?"

Kyle ignored all of Antonio’s comments like they were nothing. He should probably be more worried since at the moment he was being pressed against the back wall and there was a knife resting against his throat.

"Antonio, I have the money for you." Kyle finally said. "I’m not blowing you off. I mean, when have I ever done anything that stupid."

"Alright." Antonio said taking the knife away, but not letting Kyle go yet.

"I got into a fight with Michelle and left it at home. I see you are work tomorrow, I’ll just bring it to you then."

"You better." With a shove, Antonio let Kyle go and stalked away.

"You’ve got lives like a cat." Carlos commented, coming to stand by Kyle.

"You have no idea." Kyle rubbed at the front of his neck he could still feel where the knife had once been. "You got anything?"

"Yeah." Carlos nodded and they both headed in the direction of the back room.

Lights flashed everywhere and loud music boomed through the small building. Half dressed women grinded to the beat while men watched, waiting to get a piece of it.

Kyle had been to a million clubs just like the one he was in now. They all looked the same after awhile. Nameless people looking to feel a little better about their lives for the hour or so they spent with strangers. It wasn’t a great life, but it was better than nothing.

Carlos held the beads aside for him so Kyle could walk into the small backroom. That was where all the real action was at, what he came to the club for in the first place.

"Kyle!" Ramon exclaimed looking up from his work. "Great to see you again, you want?" He pointed down to what he was finishing up and Kyle nodded.

"How much you doing?" Ramon asked.

"Just one line. Antonio is on my ass for not paying for last week."

"That’s how it goes sometimes." Ramon replied moving aside so Kyle could sit down by him. "This stuff is pretty good. I’ve had better."

"As long as it does its job, what does it matter?" Kyle leaned against the table to breath in the white line that was placed for him. It wouldn’t take long for the drug to take its desired effect.

"Pleasure doing business with you Kyle."

"Yeah." He replied, not really listening to the words. Kyle got up and went back out into the main room of the party. Carlos was already with his lady for the evening, moving their bodies together on the dance floor before he took her somewhere else. Kyle decided to park himself at his usual table and ordered whatever drinks the hot waitress thought he needed. After the drugs wore off he’d go back to the apartment, for the moment he planned to let his world disappear in a blaze of color and sound.


Kyle threw on his uniform and took a quick glance at the clock. He hadn’t walked back into the apartment till nearly two-thirty and now the alarm next to his bed was glaring with six forty-five. One good thing was that there was a small coffee shop on the way too work.

Kyle walked into the kitchen and grabbed two aspirin from the cabinet.

"You look like shit."

"Thank you Michelle, I love when you compliment me right in the morning." Kyle snapped, swallowing the two pills with a class of water.

"What crawled up your ass and died?" She asked, coming into the kitchen to grab something from the fridge.

"That prick you’ve been fucking. I owe him money."

"Why do you owe him money?" She asked him, a hint of concern coming through in her voice.

Kyle rolled his eyes as he walked to the counter to grab his keys.

"Why do you owe him money?" Michelle asked with more force.

Kyle turned around and just stared at her. "Why do you think?"

"I thought I told you not to get involved in his drug dealings."

"Like you care!" Kyle shouted at her. "I’m going to be late for work."

"I do care. I’m your mother god damn it!"

"The damn TV has been more of a mother to me than you have." He spat at her. Kyle had too big of a headache to deal with her shit so early in the morning. Before she could say anything else he walked out of her dirty apartment, letting the door slam behind him.

Even with his money coming in for rent, Michelle hadn’t bothered to find a nicer apartment. It was in one of the worst parts of town and was definitely cheap and disgusting. Kyle should have moved out years ago, he knew that, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it.

After the short five-minute walk, Kyle went into the coffee shop to get his morning bit of life.

"Same as always." Cindy from behind the counter asked.

"You know it." Kyle reached into his pocket for his sunglasses and placed them over his eyes. It was way too bright for him to be going around unprotected.

"You need to lay off the shit you’ve been doing. You know that right? $3.48."

"Yeah." Kyle passed her the exact change and took his coffee. "See ya tomorrow."

"Bye Kyle."

Another ten minutes of walking and Kyle found himself standing in front of the run down garage where he worked. The place was a shit hole, and didn’t pay very well, but it was the closest thing to the apartment. Michelle’s ‘boyfriend’ Antonio had gotten him the job there. It was a pain in the ass, but the people were good and at least it was a job.

"Kyle man, you missed all the fun last night. Tia had a twin sister who was in the mood for a little go." Carlos said slapping Kyle on the back. "You coulda had yourself somethin’."

"You know I’m with someone." Kyle replied, brushing off Carlos’s comment.

"Oh right. Keep for getting. You really need to have more fun."

Kyle ignored Carlos and the other guys who started laughing at the comment. He really wasn’t in the mood for all the crap the boys were going to give him.

Kyle took off his glasses and headed into the office to punch in and sit down for a while until someone showed up and he actually had to work.

"Hey sugar" Candy was the receptionist. At least that was what they told Kyle when he first started working. Most he could figure out was even though she was paid for answering the phone calls, they were paying for the ‘other’ services she would give the men employees.

"Hey Candy." Kyle said not really looking at her. She always wore just short skirts and tight blouses. It was hard to not always notice her, but Kyle made it a point to ignore her, he wasn’t going to be the like other guys.

"Some guy is coming in with a car today that needs lookin’ at. Antonio wants you to do it. He had me schedule it at eight." Candy told him.

Kyle sat down in one of the chairs and slumped down as far as he could, letting out a sigh. He really didn’t want to work. Ever. Antonio always scheduled him the hard jobs and would do it whenever. It was a pain in the ass, but Kyle didn’t have much of a choice.

"Aw baby doesn’t want to work today does he?" Candy cooed, walking in his direction putting a little sway in her hips. "Want me to relax you."

Candy walked around his backside, letting her breasts brush against him while rubbing her hands on his shoulders.

"I can make it all better." Candy whispered in his ear before licking on the edge.

Kyle rolled his eyes and let his head fall back, wishing he could move her or slap her or a combination of the two. She did this with everyone, which didn’t make him feel special.

Kyle got up and grabbed paperwork off the desk. "I have work to do." Without even looking at her he walked out of the office and out to where the car he had to work on would soon be arriving.


Kyle walked into the front door and let it close behind him. All he wanted to do was get in bed. Work nearly killed him, Antonio had ragged on him and Candy had been putting the moves on him all day. Now all he wanted was to collapse and forget he had to do it all again tomorrow.

"Kyle, that girlfriend of yours keeps calling." Michelle said, holding a phone to her ear.

"I’ll call her later."

"The phone is for you." Michelle said again. "It’s that vulgar woman that I wish you would stop talking to."

Kyle dove over the counter and grabbed the phone from her. "Mom?"

"Now there is my boy. How are you doing?"

"Great. Things are great." Kyle took the phone and walked into this room, shutting the door behind him. He collapsed on the bed, glad to hear from the voice of Amy Deluca. It had been too long since he had something to look forward to.

"How is school honey? You’re doing well in college?" She asked.

"Yeah mom, things are great." Kyle lied, trying to keep the sadness out of his voice. He didn’t want to tell Amy how his life had fallen apart. It wasn’t fair to her, she had expected so much out of him and he’d let her down.

There was a pause for a moment, before Amy started talking to him again. "You know Kyle, your birthday is coming up. I think maybe you should come home and visit. We could have a little birthday dinner. I know the Parker’s would love to see you. Just yesterday Nancy was asking me about you."

"Uh-huh." Kyle replied, trying to ignore the small ping in his heart. "I’ll try to come home mom, I really will. It’s just hard to get time off from work and I’m really busy with class and all."

"I know you are." Amy cut him off. "I just think you should come home for a little bit. Breath in some fresh air."

Kyle nodded even though she couldn’t see that. A moment later the door opened and Michelle was standing in the doorway glaring at him.

"Mom I have to go. I love you I’ll talk to you later."

"I love you to Kyle."

Kyle hung up the phone and the smile that was on his face disappeared. "What?" He asked as Michelle just stood there staring at him.

"I wish you wouldn’t talk to her."

"Screw you." Kyle got off the bed and handed the phone to Michelle. "I gotta go see Shelia, I’ll be back later."

"Yeah, go fuck that bitch, maybe she’ll get that stick you have up your ass out."


"Oh God Kyle." Shelia moaned into his ear.

Kyle pressed her down into the bed, massaging her breasts through the small tank-top she was wearing. He reached down, grabbing the hem of her top and throwing her over her head. Watching her long brown hair tumble back down over her bare breasts.

"God I need you." Kyle mumbled as his lips trailed down her chest and latched onto her breasts. "I need you."

Kyle pushed up her skirt and ran his hands over her inner thighs.

"Yes, Kyle please!"

Kyle tore her panties away from her and threw them behind his head. Getting up from the bed he took off his pants and boxers before climbing back up to the bed with her.

He needed to lose himself in Shelia’s warm body to erase the bad things in his life. It’s what he always did. Either into Shelia’s body or through the drugs he’d found. It was the only time he felt bliss.

"You just going to stand there or you gonna come into bed with me?" Shelia asked, looking up and down Kyle’s naked body.

Kyle stared down at her. She wasn’t the girl he wanted, wasn’t like the other girls he’d been with, but she was something.

Kyle climbed onto the bed and forced her skirt up again. Without warning he thrust himself into her warm tight body.

"Shit." He cursed, feeling pleasure running through him. Visions from the past disappeared as he thrust into her harder and faster, sweat rolling down his face.

"God you feel so good. Fuck." He cursed, reaching for her behind and pulled her up towards him harder.

"Oh Kyle, yes."

She raked her nails down his back. He could barely feel the pain it brought with it. All he could feel was the pleasure as he took her body harder and as he found that final bliss, he wished it would last forever.


Two hours later, Kyle climbed out of bed, throwing his clothes back on. He wanted to go home and get some sleep. That’s what he had intended to do until his mom called. He didn’t realize how much he’d hated his life until she called. It was like she knew and was making a point to make sure he left his life and came home.

"Where are you going?" Sheila asked, sitting up from bed pulling the sheet up to cover herself.

"I gotta go." Kyle said, not looking at her.

"You asshole." Shelia grabbed his shirt off the floor and threw it at him. "Just came for a quick fuck huh? That’s all I am to you isn’t it?"

Kyle rolled is eyes and took a deep breath before turning around to face her.

"Shelia, that’s not it. I just… I gotta go." He didn’t say anything else before leaving the apartment.

He walked home in the rain, forgetting the money for the bus at home. Kyle hated the weather, the city, the people, his job, everything about his life had turned to shit.

After twenty minutes of walking, Kyle stumbled back into the apartment and walked into this room, collapsing on the bed. He reached under the mattress and get the leather journal he always read when he got a little confused.

Kyle ran his fingers over the ink of Liz’s handwriting. Everyday since he’d moved to LA he’d read a little from Liz’s journal. He’d meant to burn it, so no one would learn the truth, but there was a little bit of solace in reading her written words. It was kind of sick, to read the diary of someone who was long since dead, but knowing everything Liz had gone through, knowing all the pain she’d seen. It gave him a little bit of strength. Not a lot, but a little.

Loud moans vibrated through the walls that Kyle could identify as Michelle and Antonio. Kyle slapped his pillow over his hears, slammed his eyes shut and clutched the journal to his chest, wishing he was somewhere else at that moment. Anywhere would be better than here.

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Post by ChrissyP47 » Mon May 23, 2005 10:05 pm

Part 6

Sometimes I feel
Like I don't have a partner
Sometimes I feel
Like my only friend
Is the city I live in
The city of angels
Lonely as I am
Together we cry

"Get your ass out of bed!"

Kyle moaned and pulled the covers over his head. He was not going to be interrupted. He figured he probably had ten minutes more of sleep he could get before he had to go to work. All he wanted was those ten minute.

"Kyle now! You’re gonna be late!" Michelle yelled through his door.

"God dammit! I’m up now!"

Kyle kicked the covers off his body, but didn’t make a motion to get up. Something was jabbing him in his side and he recognized it as Liz’s journal. He’d slept with it under his pillow for a week now. Kyle didn’t know why he kept clutching to the past, when all he wanted to do was forget.

Ten minutes later he was showered, dressed, and standing in the coffee shop.

"Your usual." Cindy said, placing the coffee in front of him.

Kyle just stared at it for a moment before handing her the money. His life was so much of a routine that it was almost unbearable. How had he managed to let himself lead such a shitty life day after day?

"Kyle, are you alright?" Cindy asked.

"Yeah." Kyle replied putting his sunglasses on and flashing her a fake smile. "Never better."

He walked the same path to work everyday. The streets always seemed dark, even in the middle of the day. He could always hear yelling coming from the apartment buildings he passed. This was not the life he had pictured for himself.

"Hey man, you’re late." Carlos said slapping Kyle on the back. He hadn’t even realized he was at work.

"I know." Kyle replied, shrugging his friend off. "Friend" was a term he used loosely these days. Kyle knew none of the guys in the shop were real friends. All the people who used to fill that title were six feet under. Rotting corpses by now, he assumed. He had nightmares of what they would look like. He would see Tess in his dreams and watch as her skin pealed away from her body and her eyes dried up into nothing. Somewhere along the line those images became natural and not morbid.

Kyle walked into the office and shut the door. Candy was there as always, doing whatever it was she did in the office all by herself.

"Antonio has you at 9:30. You’re free till then."

Doesn’t she violate some code by wearing a skirt that short to work? You would think so. You can practically see her...

"Kyle baby, did you hear what I said?"

"Yeah." Kyle replied, shaking his head to clear his mind. He collapsed back in the chair and took a drink from his coffee.

"You look so stressed out." Candy cooed, coming over to sit on his lap. Kyle almost ignored her. Almost.

"Let me help you with that." Candy sucked on his neck lightly. Kyle let out an unrestrained moan. He hadn’t meant to.

"That’s it baby, let me help you."

Kyle threw his head back as he felt her moving down his body. The coffee cup in his hands slipped from his fingers and crashed on the floor as Candy unzipped his pants and took his erection right into her warm mouth.

"Fuck." Kyle cursed. His hands clutched onto the arms of the chair as pleasure rolled through him. It was all fake feelings, but Kyle couldn’t bring himself to turn it down.

She sucked harder and Kyle wove his hands into her hair, pushing her harder, thrusting himself into her mouth.

Moments later, pleasure tore through his body. Feelings coursed through his body, electrifying his cells for just a brief moment. Then the feelings were gone and he was left completely empty again.


Kyle stood outside Sheila’s apartment door. He didn’t know what he was going to say to her. She was probably pissed at him, and after what he did with Candy he wasn’t too happy with himself. He didn’t want to break up with Shelia though. She was a sweet girl.

Kyle met her in community college. They had both been taking some of the same classes until they both dropped out the same day. Kyle had been on again, off again with a girl named Jen at the time, but that day they went out and got drunk and he was no longer seeing Jen.

Shelia left school because she couldn’t afford it. She was too busy trying to keep herself alive. Kyle respected how hard she was trying. She was stronger than he was. He’d quit college because he just didn’t want to do it. There was no point, he found himself a job, got mixed up in drugs and hated his life. Why should he complicate things by having to study for tests?

He’d been using Shelia. He knew that. She probably knew it too. Kyle didn’t know what was so hard about it this time. He used girls for sex all the time. Shelia was different though. She was a sweet girl and didn’t need to be messed up with him. The problem was Kyle didn’t know how to let go.

Kyle opened the door to her apartment and saw her sitting at the kitchen table. There was something clutched in her petite hands, but he couldn’t make it out.

Shutting the door, Kyle headed towards her, but she put up her hands to stop him.

"I don’t want you to touch me." She barked.

Kyle noticed her cheeks were lined with tear tracks. She must have been crying for hours. Why were people always crying when he was in their lives?

"I want you to get out and never come back. It’s over Kyle."

"Shelia, it’s not over, I came by to…"

"To what!?" She exclaimed, standing up abruptly. The chair she was sitting in fell backwards and crashed to the floor.

"You came here to fuck me. Like you always do you asshole. I love you! I thought we had something special, but I was seriously wrong. I’m not going to let you hurt me anymore Kyle. If you aren’t going to open up and let me in then I want you the fuck out of my life. I’m not going to be your whore no more."

Kyle was slightly taken back. Her words hurt him, more than he ever thought they would.

"Shelia, let me explain."

Shelia pointed the gun she had hidden in her hands, right at his head.

"Did you think I was kidding Kyle? I don’t want you to touch me, I don’t want you near me, I just want you gone." Shelia cried, new tears raining down her pale face.

"You won’t shoot me." Kyle said taking a step forward. "You aren’t that kind of person. You’re too good for this."

"You make me a bad person." Shelia spit out. "I’d do anything to make that go away. You are dead inside Kyle. I tried to help you, but you didn’t want it. Now get out!"

Kyle started to say something else, but the sound of her cocking the gun took the words out of his mouth. Kyle retreated without a sound and let the door slam behind him as he left the room.

Pain flooded him, pain he hadn’t felt in years. He’d been so good at making his emotions disappear. Now all he felt was pain and he needed to make it go away. No matter how.


Under the bridge downtown
Is where I drew some blood
Under the bridge downtown
I could not get enough

Kyle busted through the front doors of the closed club and made his way into the back with determination in his step. He knew what he needed. He knew what would make it all better. He’d felt the need flooding through his veins for hours, but he’d been ignoring it. Now the need had turned into a scream in his brain that he couldn’t forget.

Pushing the beads aside, Kyle saw the man he was looking for.

"Kyle pal." Ramon said from his place on the floor. "What brings you here this time of day? The club isn’t even open."

"I need a hit and I need one now." Kyle said getting right down to business.

"Kyle, it’s early, I don’t even have anything."

"You’re lying." Kyle retorted throwing a hundred dollars in bills down in front of Ramon. "I know you have something here, now help me out."

"Alright." Ramon said, pocketing the money. He pulled out a small black box from under the table and placed it on top. Pulling off the lid and throwing it aside he took out a small vile and a syringe.

"This will do the trick, actually it will do better than the trick." Ramon said with a wink.

Kyle had made one rule when he started doing drugs. Nothing with a needle, it couldn’t be trusted. Most of these guys, like Ramon, used the same needle for multiple people. You could never really know what was going into your body when the drugs flew through.

Kyle forgot that promise as he held his arm out to Ramon. Ramon tied the elastic band to the upper part of Kyle’s arm. He could feel the blood in his veins pumping harder through his whole body.

Under the bridge downtown
Forgot about my love
Under the bridge downtown
I gave my life away

The prick of the needle caused a sting to his nerves. The fluid forced into his arms burned. It was something he’d never felt before. Pain started to slip away as the world faded to nothing.


Kyle dragged himself back into the apartment somewhere around midnight. He’d never felt this terrible before after a hit. His body ached, his skin felt cold, and all he wanted to do was fall into bed and go to sleep.

"Where the hell have you been?" Michelle asked from the kitchen.

"Nowhere." Kyle replied. Just twenty steps till I’m in bed.

"I think you should move out."

Kyle stopped in his tracks and spun around to look at her. Had she said what he thought she just said? Maybe he was still on the drugs.


"I want Antonio to move in with me and I don’t want you to be here. So move out. Go live with that girlfriend or something, just, don’t live here anymore. I don’t know what I thought asking you to come here, I didn’t think you were going to leech onto me for five years."

Michelle lit up her cigarette and turned away from him. That must have been her way of signaling that the conversation was over.

Kyle stood there motionless. He couldn’t believe what she was saying. After five years she was kicking him out. After everything he’d been through, after all the shit she had dumped on him, she was telling him to leave.

"Whatever." Kyle replied and walked into his room. Slamming the door.

He grabbed everything he could and started throwing them into this suitcase. Clothes, money, pictures of his family that he’d kept hidden from Michelle for all those years. Anything that actually meant something to him he piled into this black suitcase and slammed it shut.

Michelle didn’t say anything to him as he walked back into the living room past the kitchen. She was too busy working on her third cigarette. Kyle dropped his bag by the front door and ran back into his room. Grabbing the one thing he forgot, Kyle placed the journal under his arm, took his bag from the front door and left the place he had dared to call home for five years.

I drive on her streets
'Cause she's my companion
I walk through her hills
'Cause she knows who I am

Kyle wandered the streets for hours. He had no idea where to go. The streets that used to be so familiar to him passed by in a blur. It was dark and all the buildings looked the same. Just dark masses that held the city down on the streets.

She sees my good deeds
And she kisses me windy
I never worry
Now that is a lie

A shadow always fell over this part of the city when the sun went down. The evil of the world crawled out of the cracks and found themselves in paradise, for just a few moments. People walked quickly passed him, trying to get on and off the streets fast without being noticed. Kyle knew they wouldn’t notice him. He blended in with the dead.

He walked block after block, not feeling the connection to the city he’d been living under for some time now. He used to feel a slight pull, like the city was trying to protect him and keep him. Now he just felt lost in the dark abyss, just like he should.

The sun began to rise and he knew he had to be at work soon. How could he go to work when he didn’t have a place to live? He could probably bunk with Carlos for a day or too, but then he would be on his own. Kyle had absolutely nowhere in the city to go and not enough money to live on his own.

Kyle got on one of the buses that stopped by him and road it into the downtown area. He kept taking different buses until he finally reached where he wanted to be at. The Greyhound Station.

"How can I help you boy?" The old man running the counter asked.

"I need a bus ticket."

"Where you headed?"

"Albuquerque. Then Roswell."

"Roswell huh? Home of the aliens and such."

Kyle just nodded. He paid for his fare and waited till noon when his bus would leave.


I don't ever want to feel
Like I did that day
Take me to the place I love
Take me all that way

The desert passed by in a blur, letting day fade into night. The bus was hot and dirty. It was also packed with too many people. Kyle was squished into the window, while some bald man slept next to him. Somewhere in the back a woman with nearly five children was sitting. Her youngest had been crying since they left LA and was finally asleep.

Kyle leaned his head against the window and tried to close his eyes. It was somewhere around 8:30 at night, Kyle guessed. He’d left his watch back at Michelle’s so he was forced to guess the time. If he was still at Michelle’s he’d just be getting back from work. Carlos would have bugged him to go out to the club for the night. Not that Kyle needed any convincing, but they always had to give him reasons to go. Then around midnight they’d head down there.

Kyle’s body shuddered from what he wished was cold. He knew it wasn’t. The drugs he had done the day before had screwed up his system. Now he wanted more.

Closing his eyes tighter, Kyle tried to wrap himself up as tightly as possible. He could ride this out, it wouldn’t be that difficult.

I don't ever want to feel
Like I did that day
Take me to the place I love
Take me all that way

Chills racked Kyle’s body and he felt hungry and nauseous all at once. He couldn’t wait till they finally reached Roswell. A part of him still wasn’t sure if this was a good idea, but it was his only option. That or die on the streets of Los Angeles. There was always that option.

Kyle opened his eyes a crack and he could see the stars through the dirtied window. The stars always looked more peaceful the closer you got to home.


Kyle stood on the front porch of the house he knew so well. It was nearly 6:00 AM and he was afraid to wake her up. That wasn’t the only reason he was afraid. He was going to have to face all his lies. She was going to know that he failed and it made all that pain inside of Kyle come back. He wasn’t going to run from it anymore, this was the way it needed to be. If only he could get his hand to move to press the doorbell.

Kyle brought his hand up and visions flew past his eyes. He saw himself walking into the apartment that night to find his family dead. He saw the funerals, the crying parents. All the nightmares he’d had over the years flashed through his mind, as he pressed the little button next to the door.

Moments passed and for a while, Kyle didn’t think anyone was going to answer.

Then the door swung open.



"Kyle what are you doing here this early?" Amy asked, opening the screen door to let him in.

"I’m sorry. I know it’s early and I know I shouldn’t be asking any of this from you, but I have nowhere in the world to go right now."

Amy ushered Kyle inside and shut the door behind him. Kyle dropped the suitcase in his hand and turned to look at Amy. She hadn’t changed a bit, she was still the quirky woman who had become more of a mother to him than his own mom had.

"Kyle, what happened?" Amy asked shakily.

Kyle could hold it any longer, it all bust from him like a damn.

"I’m fucked up. I dropped out of high school and college, I hate my life, I hate Michelle. I don’t feel a thing. I haven’t since they died. I started doing drugs to feel something, anything and it just hurt me more. I need help." Kyle cried, he hadn’t cried since his friends died, now he was crying uncontrollably.

He felt Amy’s arms come around him and it gave him more comfort than he had felt in five years.

"Shhh… Kyle’s it’s going to be ok now. You’re home. I’m going to take care of you now."

Kyle clung to her as he cried and knew deep inside of him that the biggest mistake he ever made in his life was leaving his home behind for a lie.

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Post by ChrissyP47 » Wed May 25, 2005 11:53 pm

Part 7

Amy drudged over to the Crashdown wiping the sweat off her forehead with the now dry bandana she was carrying. Roswell in the middle of summer was not the best place to be living. The sun seemed to just beat down on the small town and reflect off the ground. So not only was the heat coming from above you, but below you as well. There seemed to be no escape.

Opening the front doors, Amy was hit with a wall of cool air. Thank heavens for air conditioning. She thought as she let the doors close behind her. Walking across the café, she found a spot open at the counter and let herself drop into it.

"What can I get for ya?" The red-headed waitress asked her.

"Just a water, Sam. How is your mom holding up in this heat?" Amy asked, dropping her purse onto the counter.

"Better. Grandad finally went out and bought a new air conditioning unit so we’re livin’ the cool life now. Here’s your water." She replied putting the cold glass down in front of Amy. "Sure I can’t get you anything else?"

"Get her some of those blueberries with vanilla ice cream from the back." Jeff Parker said coming up behind Amy. "Nance is preparing some in the kitchen right now."

"Sure boss." Sam said with a smile before walking off.

"You didn’t have to do that Jeff."

Jeff sat down on the empty stool next to Amy and rubbed the back of his neck with his own bandana.

"I know I didn’t Amy, but if Nancy keeps making me eat all that food I am going to end up fat and you know it."

Amy laughed and took a sip of her water, trying to erase the dryness from her throat. These summer days were going to be the end of her soon.

"How’s he doing?"

Kyle had been back in Roswell for a week before going to Albuquerque. There was a rehab facility up there that specialized in what Kyle was going to be going through. Amy hated to send him away again, but he was the one who wanted to go. She couldn’t very well tell him he couldn’t go and get the help he needed. They were better prepared to help him than she was.

"Fine." Amy replied. "He called me yesterday. They are going to let him come home in a week. He sounded a lot better and said the therapy was really helping."

"That’s good." Jeff said.

Sam came over and put the berries in front of Amy before going back to work. Amy picked at them and just kind of nodded her head.

"If you need anything Amy, just let Nancy or I know."

"I know Jeff. I can’t help but feel responsible for what happened to him. When I saw Michelle walk into the café five years ago I knew it was for no good. I never should have let him go."

"Amy, it’s not your fault." Jeff said putting his hand on her shoulder. "Kyle did what he had to do. We were all in a really bad place then. You can’t hold yourself responsible for what he went through. All that matters is that you are here now for him. We all are."

Amy looked up and smiled at Jeff. "Thanks. I think I needed that. The Evans keep calling and asking me if there is anything they can do. I think I might take them up on that. I know when Kyle gets back he’s going to stay with me for a while, but I’m sure he’s ready to get his life together. Maybe they can help me find a place for him."

"I’m sure they will. Philip is a great guy."

"I’m going to go help Nancy in the kitchen." Jeff said getting up and heading toward the back room. "Just remember if you need anything, to let us know."

"I will."

Amy finished her water and dessert before leaving. She wanted to get home and call Philip again. He had told her once in a brief phone call that he would help her find a place for Kyle to live if needed. Amy wanted to take him up on that offer now. She knew once he got home he’d want his own place and most likely a job. She had her work cut out for her.


Kyle placed the final pieces of his clothes into his suitcase before shutting it tightly. His weeks in rehab were finally over. As relieved as he was that he was going home, a part of him was nervous. Now he had to go back home and face everyone.

"Kyle?" One of the nurses said, poking her head into the room. "Your mom is here for you."

"Thanks." Kyle smiled at her. He grabbed his suitcase off the bed and his duffle bag off the floor. The nurse led him down the hallway to where Amy was standing there waiting for him.

"Hi mom."

She smiled at him and gave him a hug. "Come on, let’s go home. I can’t wait to tell you all about what’s been going on in Roswell."

They walked out to the car and minutes later they were on the highway that would lead them back home. Amy was talking a mile a minute about how hot it was and all the gossip going around town. Kyle smiled; he never realized how much Maria had taken after her mom. All either one of them ever did was talk.

"I talked to Philip Evans the other day." Amy said out of the blue, focusing Kyle’s attention more on the conversation at hand.

"Oh." Kyle replied, letting the comment roll off of him like it was nothing.

"Yeah, well. He told me that Chris’s garage is hiring. They are looking for someone with some kind of car repair experience. Apparently, he’s holding that job for you. That is, if you want it."

Kyle just nodded. It seemed like the worst of his life was behind him. At least he hoped it was. In all the sessions in therapy, it made him realize how he’d been screwing up his life from the beginning. His friends dying, was just the climatic point. The last day in therapy, his doctor had told him that he had his whole life in front of him now. It wouldn’t be easy, his past and his addictions would always haunt him. Cravings would come out of nowhere and make it hard to breathe, but he had a chance. That was more than Kyle had actually hoped for when he got himself checked into the clinic. A chance was better than nothing.

"Hey mom."

"Yes Kyle." Amy said, her eyes still on the road.

"I think after I’ve been working for a little while, I’m going to try and get my own apartment." Kyle saw the look that crossed Amy’s face and quickly added, "Not that I don’t enjoy staying with you, I just need to try and be on my own."

After a few moments of silence, Amy finally said, "If that’s really what you want…"

"It is." Kyle cut in.

"Then I’ll help you find a place."

Kyle smiled. "Thanks mom."


Kyle ignored the sound of his cell phone ringing, in favor of putting his new bed together. It’d been nearly a month since his return from the clinic. The job at the garage had been a lot like what he did in LA. The work was at least the same, the atmosphere was a world of difference and Kyle didn’t want it any other way.

Now, Kyle was trying to furnish his new apartment that Amy had helped him pick out. It was perfect for him, just a small one bedroom apartment. He took a lot of the furniture he’d put in storage and placed it in his new home. A present to himself though, was the new bed and the bigger TV. Mrs. Parker had called it a waste of money and space. Kyle neglected to tell her that her husband helped him pick it out, and got one for himself.

As Kyle hammered the bed frame together, he was hit again with the idea of telling the parents. After returning from the clinic, Kyle had thought about telling all the parents the truth about Max, Isabel, Michael and Tess. He felt that maybe they deserved the truth. After reading Liz’s journal for the millionth time though, it was clear he couldn’t let them know. Not with everyone gone. It wasn’t his secret to tell. He wished he could though. Then maybe he’d have someone to bounce all his weird theories off of.

Now that years had passed and he could clear his mind, Kyle was starting to wonder about what really happened to his friends. All the newspapers from Roswell to Albuquerque headlined that it was this gang from Albuquerque that hit Roswell. Completely off pattern, one of the papers had written.

Kyle wasn’t so sure about that anymore. It had been easy to believe what everyone was saying back then, but now that he was home, where it all began, he was starting to question it. His friends had enemies, other worldly enemies. It was a possibility.

Kyle quickly shook his head and put his hammer down. It didn’t really matter. Gang or evil band of aliens, his friends had been dead for five years, knowing how wouldn’t bring them back.

Just then the front door bell rang.

"I hope that’s not Amy checking up on me."

Kyle opened the front door and felt all the air catch in his throat at the sight in front of him. He blinked, but it still didn’t make the image in front of him go away.

"Hi Kyle."


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Post by ChrissyP47 » Fri May 27, 2005 11:57 pm

Author's Note:

I felt bad leaving ya'll on such a cliffhanger, so I'm bringing you a new part. I just wanted to thank the lovely Kath7 for posting the chapters of this story for me while I was without internet at my house. Stupid internet people. Thanks *so* much Kath. ::loves::

And I want to thank *everyone* who is sticking with this story. I know it's not the easiest read in the whole world, and it means a lot to me that you all are sticking it out to see how it all turns out.

I'd also like to thank those of you who nominated me for Best Kyle. I really appreciated it. Okay, so without further ado. The new part.

I also *finally* added the banner that I made for the story to the first part.. It's only been sitting on my HD for like two months. I am *so* slow with stuff like that.

Okay, new part time. Enjoy.

Part 8

Kyle opened his eyes and immediately regretted it. The back of his head was throbbing, causing an unwanted headache to form between his eyes. Kyle swore as he sat up on the couch, trying to remember how he ended up on the couch with a headache to begin with.

He remembered working on the bed, then something about the doorbell ringing and his cell phone going off. He knew he was missing something, but the pain in his head was making it difficult for him to move let alone think.

“You should be laying down.” A voice said coming up behind him.

Then it all came flooding back. He remembered answering the door and having… and standing there being…

“Tess? How?”

“Take this first.” She handed him two aspirin and a glass of water.

Kyle didn’t argue, he just took the two pills and swallowed it quickly. She helped him lay back down and Kyle kept his eyes closed willing the pain away. He needed answers though. It was driving him crazy, he could feel her sitting on the floor next to the couch, smell her scent, but she couldn’t possibly be real. Unless he made it all up? Maybe his friends really weren’t dead and he imagined it? Or maybe he was dying?

Kyle’s sarcasm kicked in and he knew it would be just fitting after all the work he went through to get better to just end up dying anyway. Very fitting.

A few minutes passed and he could feel his headache lessening. Now the questions were coming quicker. But he needed to start slow, or his headache would never go away.

“Are you really Tess?”

He opened his eyes so he could look at her. She looked the same, just like when he last saw her. She appeared a little older though, and much prettier than he remembered. A flash of her lying dead on the floor ran through his mind, but Kyle pushed it away, waiting for her answer.


All the air rushed out of his lungs.

“That’s not possible.” Kyle said sitting up. He was blatantly ignoring his headache for the moment. It just wasn’t possible for her to be alive. He saw her dead, felt her cold body.

“Kyle, it’s really a long story and I think you should rest. You sort of passed out and hit your head when you first saw me. I’d feel a lot better if you…”

“I don’t care what you need.” Kyle said cutting her off. “You were dead. You’ve been dead for five years. Explain to me how you are suddenly got better!”

Tess stood up and starting pacing. Kyle was trying to follow her with his eyes, but it was making the pain worse.

“You’re giving me even more of a headache. Can’t you just sit down and spit it out?”

He was being really harsh, he knew it, but how else was he supposed to react. She was supposed to be dead, buried six feet under. A rotting corpse. Not a beautiful woman standing in front of him.

“OK.” She started as she sat down on the couch next to him. Kyle made sure to move over, he didn’t want to be within touching distance. It was too weird, the last time he touched her she was caked in her own blood.

“It’s really complicated, but I’m going to try and explain. We were all at Michael’s apartment discussing plans for Amy’s birthday and having a little recap on events, when there was a knock at the door.”

“Since when does Kyle knock before coming in?” Tess said as Michael went to answer the door.

Everyone jumped up and stood at attention when Michael went flying across the room. A tall dark man walked in with twelve men walking in behind him.

“Well, well. I didn’t think it would be so easy to find the royal four and their little groupies. I promise this will be a painless death. Ok for some of you it might be, but you my king… we’re going to have fun with you.”

“That’s when the fighting broke out. It was such a blur. Max was taking the brunt of it, trying to protect all of us, and himself, who they were targeting the most. We picked off some of them, but we were still out numbered and they were stronger than us. Liz, who had gotten lightly injured, pulled me down to the ground with her.”

“You have to mindwarp them!” Liz tried to scream over the blasting that was going on.

“And make them think what? Liz I don’t think I could hold them for that long anyway.”

“Make them think we are all already dead. Make them see us all fall down dead. It’s the only shot we have.”

“So that’s what I did. I mindwarped the ones who were still alive and made them each see us fall down dead. While they were inspecting our dead bodies, Max and Michael were able to kill a few more. Then they just left, saying their jobs were done.”

“Alright I understand that.” Kyle said seeing where all this came from. “But how did you end up really dead.”

“Now what?” Michael asked. “They think we’re dead, how long before they find out that isn’t the case.”

“Then they can’t find out.” Liz said from behind him, holding onto her injured arm.

“That’s a beautiful thought princess.” Michael said, “but how do you suppose we do that.”

“We have dead alien bodies all over the floor. We have to make them look like us; we literally have to be dead, to anyone, and then leave. I don’t like this plan at all, but what if they come back and really kill us next time. Or come after our families or…”

Max came up and put his arm around Liz to try and get her to calm down. Everyone else just glanced at the bodies, letting what Liz said sink in.

“Is that…” Maria started, “is that even possible? I mean, we’re just supposed to be dead and then hide for the rest of our lives.”

“No.” Max finally said. “We don’t hide; we get them before they can ever realize that we never died.”

“So, as quickly as possibly we turned the dead alien bodies into us. Liz reminded us, of those gang hits up north so we mimicked what that scene might look like. We matched our own blood types to the dead ones; we made sure there was no reason for anyone to suspect that we didn’t die. And then we ran. And we’ve been running for five years. Until now, when we knew it was safe to come back to the families we left behind.”

Kyle stood up and started pacing the room. He didn’t know what he should be feeling. His friends were alive; he had been wishing that to be true since the moment he found them dead in the apartment Tess spoke of. Now that it was true, all he felt was anger and hurt.

“In all that time, when you were making your own bloody massacre of yourselves, no one thought to wait for me and let me be dead too?”

Kyle must have stunned her with the question because Tess got painfully quiet. He turned to look at her and saw her wiping a single tear off her pale skinned face.

“I… I wanted to wait for you, but…” She hesitated.

“But?” Kyle pushed.

“There’s no time! He have to go now.” Michael was screaming in Tess’s face.

“We can’t just leave him here to think we are dead. He’ll be here soon, why can’t we just wait.” Tess pleaded.

“In the time it could take for him to get here, Kivar and his men could realize something is not right and come back for us. Then we all die!” Michael yelled back to her.

Jim came up and put his arm around Tess. “I don’t want to leave my son anymore than you do, but he’ll be safer here. We’ll be back for him.”

“So you all just left me?” Kyle asked plainly. The only response he got from Tess was a nod.

Silence quickly followed, but was quickly broken by the ringing of Kyle’s cell phone. Kyle stood up slowly and gingerly made his way to where the ringing cell phone was and grabbed it. Without answering it, he just walked back into the living room.

“It’s mo- erm… it’s Amy.”

“She’s probably calling you because of Michael and Maria. They both went to see her.”

Kyle nodded to that response.

“I went with Alex to his parents. After everything was ok there, I came for you. We’re all supposed to meet back at the Crashdown later, so we can all see each other.”

Tess stood up and walked over toward him. She had this expression he couldn’t read. For a moment he thought she was scared, but he doubted that was true.

“Are you… will you come? And see all of us again?” She asked.

“Well, I’ve already seen one ghost today, why not the rest?”

Tess gave him a smile at his comment and came up and wrapped her arms around him. It was the first time in a long while, Kyle felt warmth sink into this skin, but somehow it felt wrong.


It felt like he had walked into a dream. The Crashdown was closed for customers and anyone looking from the outside in would think the place was dead and unopened. The back room was another story. Everyone was hugging and all talking at once, recounting stories and trying to relearn each other over again. Kyle had never felt so alone in his entire life, even with Tess standing right next to him.

The moment he walked into the room everyone got quiet to take notice. Amy was the first person to come up to him. She just threw her arms around him and started crying.

“My baby girl is alive, can you believe it?” Kyle just nodded to Amy’s question as he looked across the room. Maria was standing there patiently as was Michael. Bundled up in her arms was a little boy.

“Not only is my baby girl here, but she brought me a baby boy.” Amy cried.

Kyle released her and walked over to his friends who were all standing in a circle near their families. All the parents looked so happy and more alive than Kyle had seen them in awhile. He couldn’t recall the last time he’d seen everyone so happy.

Why can’t I feel like that? Kyle thought, but he blocked his mind before any other thoughts could come in. He just wanted to make it through this.

“It’s good to see you again Kyle.” Liz said, coming up to him and giving him a hug.

As soon as Kyle registered what she was doing he quickly back off. He couldn’t touch her. She was dead. Or she had been… Or… Images of Liz’s dead body cradled with Max’s flashed through his mind in painful progression.

Kyle turned on his heel to stare at all the parents. “I can’t believe you all just accepted their story and let them all back in like nothing is wrong. They lied to us.”

“Kyle.” Liz said sympathetically. Kyle threw up his hands to stop her before she started.

“I don’t want your sympathy Liz. I only came here to see that it was real. Doesn’t mean I have to like it.”

“Kyle, don’t do this.” Amy said coming up behind him.

“Mom I’m not going to pretend like everything was ok. They left town and let us all think they were dead without even leaving so much as a note.” Kyle spun back around to look at all of them. “Not even waiting for me.”

“Kyle you don’t realize what it was like.” Liz said coming up to him. “We didn’t want to leave you behind; we just didn’t have a choice.”

Kyle tried listening to Liz, but he let her words drift away. Something was wrong with the situation, he just couldn’t figure out what it was. Liz was continuing to talk, trying to explain to him why things played out the way they were when Kyle got another flash. The silver star on his dad sticking out in contrast to the thick blood that coated his body.

“Where’s my dad?” Kyle asked, cutting Liz’s words off.

Everyone got amazingly silent and Kyle knew that was a bad sign.

“He died.” Tess finally said from behind him. Kyle turned to face her and took in the look of sadness that had formed on her face. “It… it was a heart attack. About two years ago, we did everything to help him, but… I’m sorry.”

Kyle felt pain flood him, which was quickly replaced with sarcastic anger.

“Oh well, I thought he was dead for the past five years, doesn’t really matter anyway.”

“Kyle Valenti!” Amy stalked across the room and gave him a hard shove. “Don’t do this.”

He took in a deep breath trying to control his anger, or hurt, or one of the two. He didn’t even know what he was feeling anymore. All of it was just building up out of control, like it had five years ago when he made the worst mistake of his life.

“I’m sorry.” Kyle said looking out to all of them. “It’s not that I’m not happy you’re all alive. I’m just not ready to deal with it. You don’t really know what it was like to have all your friends and family die all in one day. Then try and live with that for five years. It wasn’t pleasant. So just… don’t expect me to be giving hugs and kisses alright? This will take some time.”

Everyone in the room nodded their in agreement, while Amy mouthed a “Thank You” in Kyle’s direction.

Even with that said, Kyle couldn’t shake the images in his mind. His friends were now in front of them. All of them a little bit older with lives; Kyle was going to have to learn all over again. They seemed different, but yet the same. Maria and Michael were now married with a two-year old baby boy. Max and Liz were somewhere between engaged and married, Kyle knew he’d get the whole story later from them. They all lived in Canada now and had lives where they could be safe and happy.

Kyle stood and listened as they all talked about their lives, and while he watched them, he couldn’t make the flashes of their dead bodies stop running through their head.

They talked all night, everyone trying to catch up on each other’s lives. Kyle kept silent. He didn’t want them to know about him. Didn’t want them to know what happened to him.

“So Kyle.” Maria suddenly said. “What about you? What have you been doing the last five years?”

Kyle shot a look at Amy, but she just looked down. He was on his own for this one.

“Well, I went to Community College out in California. You know, my mom lives out there. Her and I lived together while I was taking classes. I really didn’t find anything I liked out there, so I came back home. I got a job fixing cars at a garage and I’m happily moving into my own apartment. Things have been really good the past five years. Didn’t get married or have kids though. Sorry to disappoint.”

Everyone laughed at his comment, including Kyle himself, but on the inside he was upset. All the parents were looking at him too, they knew he was lying. Amy made eye contact with him, just shaking her head at him. He’d explain to Amy later why he lied. Kyle just couldn’t let them know he failed.

“I have to go.” Kyle suddenly said. “I’ll see you all later.”

He made a dash for the back door hearing everyone’s goodbyes, but choosing not to respond to them. He was nearly all the way to his car before Amy stopped him.

“Why? Why did you lie?” She asked aggressively.

“It’s none of their business Amy. They abandoned me. I’m not going to let them know how much of a screw up I turned out to be. It’s not worth it. Please don’t tell them. If they are going to be back in our lives and everything is going to go back to the way it was then I want to forget I ever fucked up. Please just let me have that and let me handle this on my own. Please.”

“Kyle.” Amy looked like she was going to protest, but then she relented. “Just be careful. I love you.”

“I love you too mom. And I’m going to try, but that’s all I can promise.”

With that being said, Kyle got into the car and drove himself away from the past that was haunting him.


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Post by ChrissyP47 » Mon May 30, 2005 1:44 pm

Author's Note: Hey guys!! New part time. We're in the home stretch, only 4 parts left. Hope you're all still excited. :) I'll probably be done with this by the end of the week, or maybe I'll prolong it a little for torture. ;) I'm just kidding.

Anyway, new part for all!!

Part 9

“Hello Ms. Deluca.” Tess said as she walked in from the back door of Amy’s home.

Michael, Maria, Riley and Amy were all sitting in the kitchen, talking and looking through old photographs, when Tess came in.

“Nice to see you Tess; pull up a chair and I’ll get you some tea.” Amy said, getting up and going to the stove.

“Thank you Ms. Deluca.” Tess pulled up her chair next to Maria, leaning over to see what they were looking at. “What is all this?” She asked.

“Pictures from when I was little.” Maria replied, nearly mortified. “My mom is like a scrapbook whore. She keeps records of everything. Look at this picture.” Maria commented while pointing down at the book. “It’s a picture of the tree stump I ran into when I was eight that caused me to break my arm. Is there really a need to have this picture?”

“Now Maria, if I didn’t document it then you know we wouldn’t have gotten the Park Service to pay for the damages. I mean, you can’t just cut down a tree, leave the stump and not put up a sign. People get hurt that way.”

“Whatever mom.”

Tess smiled. No matter what had happened in their lives, it was so good to feel the normalcy back in it. She knew Maria and Michael were happy, they had to be. They’d gotten married at some little chapel in Montana, after they found out Maria was pregnant. She’d never seen Maria happier than when she gave birth to the little boy that was now resting in Michael’s arms. They had all changed so much since they left. Tess included herself in this; she wasn’t the naïve princess that she used to be. That was one thing she was thankful for; her eyes were now fully open.

“Hey mom, what’s in this one?” Maria asked, holding up the black book in front of her.

Amy froze, her eyes focused on the book as she set the cup of tea down in front of Tess.

“Newspaper articles.” Amy replied. “From when you all… well… died.”

“Oh.” Maria set the book down, but Tess was curious, so she picked it up to look at it.

The first few pages were filled with just documentations about the murder that took place. There was a couple from Albuquerque, documenting that the murder had to have been from the gang group that was making its way through the southwest.

As she turned the pages, she found the page that held all their obituaries. It was weird, and a little morbid to read about her life as though she was dead. Everyone had thought that was true, so to them it had been the fact. She was going to ask who had written hers but thought it was best not too.

Flipping to the last page, Tess let out a gasp reading the headline.

“What is it Tess?” Maria asked.

“Local boy held in questioning for murders.” Tess read off the headline. She shot a look over at Amy who was looking down at the kitchen table. Tess looked back at the article and read it allowed.

“Local Roswell teen is being held at the Roswell Police station for questioning. The teen was the first to arrive and found the victims dead in their apartment. At this time, the identity of the boy as well as the victims, are not being revealed but we have learned that the teen is being held overnight for his possible involvement in the deaths of these eight residents.”

Tess stopped reading and just looked up at Amy who was still avoiding looking at them.

“It was Kyle wasn’t it?” Tess finally asked. “Kyle was the one who found us all dead and he’s the one the police held as a suspect.”

“Yes.” Amy replied wiping a tear from her eye. “Kyle found you and from what I heard later, he called 911, but there obviously wasn’t anything that could be done. The police did hold him overnight. The two detectives from upstate didn’t have any leads so they held him as a suspect until his story could be verified. I was so upset with those men. Deputy, now Sheriff Hanson called me and told me where Kyle was, I had to go get him out of there. They only held him for one day.” Amy explained to all of them.

Tess looked over at Maria before looking back at the newspaper headline. She couldn’t even begin to imagine what that would be like. To walk into an apartment and find everyone you ever cared about dead, in the bloody display they had left it in. She remembered how horrible that scene had looked, it’d made her stomach retch just thinking back on it and she knew it was fake. To walk in and find that room, and think that it was real.

Tess let the book drop from her hands. “God. Kyle.”

“Mom?” Maria started to ask. “Is Kyle ok? I mean, was he ok, after that.”

“No.” Amy replied honestly and her answer pained Tess. “He’s still not ok, that’s why he’s not dealing with all of this real well. I can’t apologize for his behavior either because I honestly don’t think I would be doing much better than him if I was in his place. Considering everything he’s been through, he’s doing really well.”

Tess stood up abruptly, her chair crashing to the floor. Kyle had been in so much pain, she knew it now. Now she had to help him, help him understand, or at least be there for him now when no one had been in the past.

“I have to talk to him.”

“Tess!” Amy called after her.

Tess spun around and looked straight at Amy.

“Just, don’t hurt him.”

Tess was puzzled by the comment, but nodded nonetheless. Then she left, needing to find him.


Kyle laid on his bed, running his fingers over Liz’s journal. He knew he needed to give it back to her, now that she wasn’t dead.

That thought alone, messed with Kyle’s head. He didn’t know how he was supposed to be dealing with all this. His therapist told him to take things one day at the time, but how did he suddenly come to terms with his friends being alive and well. There wasn’t a book somewhere that would explain to him how to cope, how to make it all better.

Kyle got up from the bed and with shaky hands he tore through his suitcase, the one he had yet to unpack. Blindly he rummaged until he felt the plastic. Kyle took in a deep breath before pulling it to the surface. Inside the plastic, was one syringe. That one syringe had one needle and held one pit of fluid in it. Fluid he needed in his veins again.

Kyle tore open the plastic baggie and held the cool glass in his hands.

Just one more time. One more.

Kyle shook his head knowing it was wrong, but he couldn’t stop. He pulled out the rubbery tie that was in the bag, the other part he needed. Rolling up his sleeve, he went to tie the rubber around his arm. He’d seen it done to people before; it was what they did right before you got an injection.

His hands shook violently, while trying to get the tie on, he couldn’t do it. Kyle stumbled back over to the bed and sat there, holding the needle and all its parts in his hands. He knew he should throw it away; he shouldn’t have this near him. He definitely knew he shouldn’t be contemplating using it, but he couldn’t stop. All Kyle wanted to do was feel something, other than the nothingness that crept back into his life. It would help him deal with the changes in his life, wouldn’t it?

Then a knock came to his door.

Kyle quickly stuffed the syringe under his mattress and made his way to the door. Liz stood on the other side, clutching something in her arms.

“Can we talk?” She asked, while walking into the apartment.

“Sure.” Kyle led her over to the couch and they both sat down, staying in an uncomfortable silence.

Kyle played with the fringe on the couch while Liz just sat there clutching what looked like a tattered notebook in her hands.

“Liz… you wanted to talk.”

“Right.” Liz said, but didn’t make a motion to say anything else.

“Liz, I’m not getting any younger.” He joked, which made her smile. Kyle always made her smile. That was the most attractive thing he had known about Liz, was her smile. It was what made him ask her out so long ago. That smile.

“I just wanted to give you this.” She said handing him the notebook. “It’s my journal that I kept while I… we were gone. I was hoping it would help you understand what we went through, and why it was better that we left you behind.”

Kyle held the notebook in his hands, running his fingers over the torn corners. “How are you so strong?”

“What?” Liz asked with confusion in her voice.

Kyle got up and went into the bedroom, when he returned he held her other journal in his hands. He held onto it for a moment before giving it back to her.

“My journal? You had it?” Liz questioned.

“Yeah. I took it after the funeral. My every intent was to burn it. I figured that way no one could find out about Max and all that alien stuff. But umm… I never did. I just kind of read it.”

“You read my journal without my permission?” Liz snapped.

“You were dead Liz!” Kyle argued back. “I really didn’t care about your permission seeing as I wasn’t going to dig up your corpse and see if you’d answer me.”

Kyle plopped back down on the couch next to Liz, running his fingers through his hair.

“I’m sorry Kyle.”

“Why are you apologizing?”

“It wasn’t fair… it wasn’t fair of me to yell at you like that. Sometimes I forget that you never knew we were alive. Of course you would have read it.” Liz paused and looked down at the journal.

“Did you tell him?”

“Tell who what?” Liz questioned.

Kyle just shook his head. “Max. Did you tell him? About us and what didn’t happen and why it didn’t happen?”

“Oh that.” Liz smiled to herself. “Yeah I finally told him, told all of them. It came as quite a shock, but we got through it. Everything worked out ok.”

“Obviously.” Kyle said, motioning to the ring on her finger.

Liz ran her fingers over it smiling. “He made it for me out of a stone and some twigs. He promised me he’d buy me a real one when we had the money, but I told him not to bother; this meant more to me anyway.”

Not for the first time in his life, Kyle felt jealous of his friends. Even through everything they went through they found happiness. Why couldn’t he find what everyone else had stumbled into?

“You read that Kyle. And take care of yourself. I’ll be back to see you later.” Liz got up from the couch with her old journal clutched to her chest. Just as she opened the door to leave, Tess came up, standing on the outside of it.

Kyle stood up from the couch and watched as Liz left and Tess came in.

“Can we talk?”

“That’s the second time I’ve heard that statement in the last thirty minutes, but sure why not?” Kyle sat back down on the couch and expected Tess to do the same. Instead she stood there, forcing Kyle to turn around and look at her. “What?”

“I know. I know it was you who found us dead in Michael’s apartment.”

Kyle felt pain at the reminder of the memories he was trying to forget. He knew it would be readable in his face so there was no point in trying to deny it.

“How’d you find out?” He asked.

“Amy kept records of all the news articles about the accident. I found it in there.”

Kyle just nodded; he knew he couldn’t hide it forever. There wasn’t a point. They were bound to find out someday.

Kyle stood up and went to walk into the kitchen, but Tess stopped him. “Tess, what do you want from me? Yes I found you, no big deal. You were just dead.”

“Kyle, don’t brush this off like it was nothing. I know what that room looked like, there was blood everywhere, we caked the bodies in them, mangled and deformed them. That was how you found us. And you thought it was real.”

“Tess stop.” Kyle begged in a whisper. He closed his eyes and he could see it all again, walking in and finding them all laying across the floor, their bodies contorted and the smell of death leaking throughout the whole room.

“Kyle why didn’t you say anything? We could have…”

“What Tess? Could have what?” He snapped at her. “It’s over now. Yes I walked in and found your bodies covered in blood. It was so morbid that I nearly passed out. I had to crawl over dead bodies and miles of blood just to see if you were alive and you weren’t. I looked into your blue eyes and saw death instead of the happiness I always used to see. Even now I still see that image, I see you in my mind a dead rotting corpse and it won’t go away. You can’t possibly make that better.”

“Kyle I understand…” She started but he quickly cut her off.

“How can you possibly understand? Did you ever walk into a room and find your only friends, your only family dead on the floor? Did you?!” Kyle shouted at her. His whole body shook from the pain that still remained.

“NO!” Tess screamed at him. “But I do know what it’s like to be alone.”

“Oh, so suddenly we have something in common?” Kyle asked sarcastically. “You had friends and family with you for the last five years, how were you alone?”

“I spent every night over the past five years waiting to come home. To you.”

Her statement shocked him. He didn’t even get a chance to comment or let it sink in before she continued to talk.

“When we left we spilt into groups. Liz, Max, Maria and Michael took off and apparently they split later as to not been seen. Isabel, Alex your father and I stayed together as much as possible. Isabel and Alex found comfort in each other while your father and I just had to wait until we could be home with you again.”

Tess paused as she paced the room. Kyle just watched her move; there was something about her that always had him looking.

“After your father died, it was just me, they all had each other and I only had a watch to count the minutes until I could be with you again. You’re the only person who ever really cared about me. And… in that time we spent apart… I… grew to love you.” The last part she spoke in a whisper and Kyle was sure he had heard her wrong. He had to have heard her wrong.

“You what?”

“I love you!” She screamed at him. “I never expected it to happen, I didn’t even want it at first, but damn it; I love you.”

Kyle didn’t even think twice before he roughly grabbed her and dragged her petite body against his. He crashed his lips onto her soft ones and felt heaven like he never had before. This kiss was their first, but it held more passion than Kyle had possessed in all of his life. He knew passion and pleasure, but it was different now. It was always different with Tess.

Kyle pulled back from the kiss and looked into her deep blue eyes. It was the first time he’d seen those eyes alive. The last time he really looked into them they were dead and lifeless. Not even the normal color of radiant blue that they were now. He burned the look of her eyes into his memory, hoping to make the other memory fade in the process.

He kissed her again, because he just couldn’t not kiss her. There were so many feeling in the kiss that he couldn’t stop to identify what they were, he just kept going so he could keep feeling them. They made the badness go away. Kyle dragged his lips from hers and trailed them down her smooth neck.

“Oh Kyle.” She moaned. The sound was much sweeter than he ever could have imagined.

Kyle brought his lips back to hers before picking her up in his arms. Ungracefully he carried her back into his bedroom and stood her up against the doorway. His body crashed into hers as their kisses grew more desperate. His tongue ran along her lower lips, pleading with her to let him in. To let him feel more.

She gave in easily and Kyle pushed his tongue to meet with hers. Fire exploded in his veins and he knew he needed so much more. His hands that were resting at her hips began to move upwards, taking the edge of her blue shirt with him. He broke the kiss to remove her top, then latched his lips back on hers.

His hands ran all over her bare back, playing with the clasp of her blue lace bra. In his mind, he didn’t even know right or wrong anymore, everything was a blur and his mind began to spin in these new feelings. Nothing had felt this good and it was only going to get better.

“Tess.” He half said, half moaned as he broke the kiss. “I’m not going to push or force you into anything you don’t want.”

“I want this Kyle. I want you.”

“Thank God.” Kyle said right before kissing her again passionately. He felt tiny hands against his back, pulling at his shirt. The next thing he knew they were being forced apart so she could remove the shirt he had been wearing.

As soon as the cloth hit the floor next to his own, Tess went to kiss him, but he stopped. Kyle pulled her close to him and ran his fingertips along her smooth creamy skin. The lace of her bra hit his fingers and he smiled; this part he had gotten good at. Kyle push with one finger and pulled with the other until the clasp came apart. That was when he backed away to look at her.

Her lips were swollen and pink from his kisses, her checks were flushed with passion and the lacy blue bra hung loosely from her body. It was begging to fall to the ground and show him what he always wanted to see. With skillful hands he slid both straps down her arms to reveal her perfectly shaped breasts.

Tess looked so beautiful in that moment. Kyle burned that image into his mind as well, to erase the one of the ugly corpse. He pulled her half naked body against his and kissed her senseless. It was an amazing feeling and Kyle never wanted it to end.

His passion began to spiral out of control. He dragged her over to the bed and they both tumbled on top of it. Laying sideways on the bed they continued to kiss, deep kisses. Kyle’s hands worked their way to her breasts, massaging them to bring her pleasure. He felt Tess’s hands against his jeans undoing the button on them and pulling down the zipper. Kyle went to do the same, leaving her lustrous breasts so he could get her pants off.

Not willing to waste anymore time, Kyle quickly rid her of her pants and her underwear, leaving her entirely naked on the bed in front of him. Kyle had been in this place a million times before, but now it was different. She was different, she was perfect.

Kyle shed his own clothes until he matched her nakedness, then he climbed on top of her. Her eyes shone brightly, but there was the littlest reflection of fear in them.

“It’s going to be ok.” He promised her, rubbing his erection against her heat. “It’ll hurt at first but you’ll be alright.”

“I trust you.” Tess replied.

He slowly entered her, feeling her tight walls clamp down on him. This was her first time, if he hadn’t truly believed that then he would have known the instance he entered her, that’s how tight she was.

Tess continued to moan in pleasure and it was making it difficult for Kyle to not just plunge right in and find his own release, but it wouldn’t hurt her. Not like this at least.

He felt resistance and knew what it was. Sweat covered his body as he held himself over her. Looking into her eyes and apologized without using words, then he pushed as hard has he could, feeling the muscle give way until he was fully in her.

Tess cried out in pain and Kyle held himself in check. He carefully wiped the tear away from her eye and made sure he didn’t move.

“Are you ok?” He asked her.

“Yes.” Tess replied hoarsely. “Just give me a second.”

Moments passed like days as Kyle waited for Tess to adjust to his presence. Finally he felt her begin to move under him, that was his signal. He pulled out slowly and pushed back in. She cried in pain again, but Kyle kept going until her cries of pain turned into moans of pleasure.

His pace quickened as his need to find pleasure became unbearable.

“God Kyle, please.” She moaned.

“Tess.” Kyle groaned out as he pushed into her faster and faster. Then her already tight walls clamped down on him hard as she screamed into the room. Kyle exploded in pleasure and collapsed down on top of her, completely exhausted.

He didn’t want to move, but he couldn’t crush her. So slipping out of her he then rolled onto his back and brought her with him.

Tess curled up into his side while they both tried to calm down their breathing. Kyle wasn’t sure he was ever going to come down from this high and it didn’t know if he really wanted to or not.

Tess rested her head against his chest and right before she fell asleep she whispered. “I love you Kyle.”

Kyle froze and looked back down at her. “I…” He choked on the words and instead watched her sleep. It didn’t take long before sleep claimed him. Unfortunately, so did his dreams.


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Post by ChrissyP47 » Wed Jun 01, 2005 10:05 pm

Part 10

Kyle paced back and forth, across the kitchen in his small apartment. He was stupid and naïve, that he always knew, but now it was more obvious.

How could he have done that to her? She was such a good person, pure and innocent and he’d taken that from her; claimed her as his just so he could feel something again. It was like a drug; only instead of using a substance he used a person.

No. Not a person. He used Tess.

Kyle slammed his fist into the counter and welcomed the pain. At least, it was something.

It was already four in the morning and he’d been up since two. Tess hadn’t stirred when he’d woken up from his nightmare. Even when he got up from bed, threw on clothes and stumbled into the kitchen for aspirin, she hadn’t gotten up.

Now he stood there, feeling the affects of what he had done. She’d said she loved him, but she didn’t know him. Didn’t know the terrible person he’d become. And then, him being the idiot he was, kissed her, ravished her body. Just so he could feel something again.

And he felt. He felt everything he could have ever wanted, but he didn’t deserve it. He didn’t deserve to have something that good, not when he was as screwed up as he was. And Tess…

Kyle walked back into the bedroom and glanced at her form, sleeping still peacefully in his bed, covered only by the thin sheet. She looked so beautiful in his eyes. The most beautiful woman he’d ever known and he’d known his fair share of women.

It wasn’t right for her to have to deal with him, to be polluted by him.

Kyle felt an itching in the back of his skull. His body was craving, and it wasn’t pleasure he needed. It was something far worse.

He ran back into the kitchen and grabbed his coat from the closet before stumbling out of the apartment. He needed help before he hurt and used other people.


It wasn’t until noon when he returned to the apartment. Kyle had taken care of all the arrangements. He stopped by to tell his mom where he was going and not try and stop him. He needed this, it was the only way.

When he walked into the apartment, he saw her huddled there on this couch. She was dressed now in his clothes, which made her look even tinier than she was.

“You weren’t there when I woke up.” Tess said, not looking at him.

“I had things to take care of.” He replied, brushing her off as he headed into the bedroom. To pack.

“That’s all you have to say to me.” She snapped, following him into the room. “You were just gone when I got up this morning. Not a note or anything. I was worried something had happened to you and… what are you doing?”

She stopped her ranting when she saw him pull the suitcase out.

“I’m leaving.” Was all he chose to reply.

“Leaving? Leaving where?” He heard the panic in her voice, but he didn’t want to give in. He didn’t want her to know, never wanted to burden her with that.

“New York. My flight is in a few hours.”

“Why are you going to New York?” She asked.

Of course she was going to ask. She’d want to know why he was leaving her after what he’d done to her just the night before.

“Tess please… don’t make me do this.” He begged, swinging around to look at her.

“Don’t make you do what? Kyle you’re leaving… after what happened last night I thought we were going to be together.”

“Tess I’ve made a lot of mistakes.” He said and immediately wished he could it back. The pain that flowed into her blue orbs was almost too much to bear.

“I… I’m a mistake.” She stuttered, tears forming in her eyes.

“I’m a mistake. That’s why I’m going to New York. I’m not going to hurt people anymore.”

“Staying isn’t going to hurt me Kyle… leaving is.” She cried.

“Tess, I have to do this for me. Please I need you to understand.” He reached for her hands, but she jerked them back.

“Explain it to me.” She retorted, fire burning from her eyes trying to mask her pain.

“Fine.” Kyle snapped. He stormed over to the mattress and pulled out the syringe that he had hid under there. “Do you know what this is?”

“A syringe.” She replied weakly.

“Very good. Do you know what’s in it?”

She just shook her head, not knowing the answer.

“Heroin, Tess. It’s a drug. A very, very, bad drug. I’m a heroin addict and I thought I was getting better, but then you all showed up not dead and now it takes all my strength to not shove this needle in my arm and feel release. The substance that is in this needle is the only time that I ever feel anything. That’s fucked up you know that?”

“What’s fucked up is you think you can do this on your own?” Tess yelled at him, tears streaming down her face. “Stay here, we’ll help you.”

“I tried that, didn’t work. There is a facility in New York that’s better for this kind of thing. I’m going there and starting my life over so I can forget how much I screwed up.”

“You didn’t screw up, if you would just stay with us…”

“I’m not going to be anyone’s charity case. Besides, you all left me before and never thought any different, so now I’m leaving and doing this on my own. Without you.”

“Kyle. Don’t do this… whatever it is you’re doing. Don’t blame us-”

Kyle quickly cut off her words, knowing what she was going to say. “Don’t even try and lecture me on this Tess. You don’t know. I fucked myself over and the only people who were there for me were the women who let me feel something every night, by feeling the inside of them!”

He knew the words stung her deep, he didn’t mean them. He did want her to be with him, but he wasn’t going to be selfish. Using someone or something to make the pain go away. That’s what the doctor on the phone had said to do. Cut ties with the people and substances you use to make yourself feel. It isn’t healthy.

Then he felt something. The sting of Tess’s hand coming into contact with his right cheek.

“I fucking hate you. Stay away from me.”

With that she stormed away, out of the apartment and out of his life.

That was for the best; right, he couldn’t let her help him, couldn’t use her to feel better right.

Kyle’s knees gave out as he sank down to the floor. Tears coursed down his face and he grabbed onto the bed just to hold onto something. His body shook with need and his heart broke in pain; that was the moment when he truly knew what it felt like to be alone.

Minutes past and Kyle finally stood back up, brushing the tears from his eyes he went back to packing his things. He had to make his flight if he ever had any hopes of getting better. Something inside of him wanted to run back to the safety of Tess’s arms, but he wouldn’t do that to her. He wouldn’t hurt the people he cared about. Not anymore.


Still love me? ;)