Author: Debbi aka Breathless
Category: Max and Liz
Rating: R for language and adult themes
Downfall
Looking up from underneath
As low as we are
Nothing looks the same to me
I stand and watch myself
From somewhere else
Something I didn’t want to see
Take it all
So I’m left with nothing at all
Have it all
As I’m learning how to fall
Standing up from underneath
As low as we are
Things aren’t what they used to be
I stand and watch myself
Like someone else
Something I don’t want to see
Take it all
So I’m left with nothing at all
Have it all
As I’m learning how to fall
As I’m learning how to fall
Take it All
Song lyrics by
Trust Company
Part 9
Michael sat on the couch watching the 24 hour news, the only thing that was airing on TV now. All regular programming had been suspended, and no wonder. It was the first time the world had ever been invaded from space. The knock on his door surprised him, it was after all barely dawn, and with the curfew in place, no one was supposed to be out. He rose from the couch and crossed over to the door.
He stooped down to look through the peephole, having learned to temper his impulses with caution over the years. He didn’t act as rash as he used to, which was good given the world’s current state of affairs. He threw open the door after seeing Max’s haggard face through the lens, but he wasn’t prepared for who was with him.
“Thank God –” relief swept through him that Max had made it back safely, but the words stuck in his throat when he saw Liz. After all these years, he hadn’t been sure he’d ever see her again, or if he even wanted to. When she left Roswell, she left Max a basket case, and while Max might have said he understood why she did it, Michael wasn’t nearly as forgiving.
“Liz,” Michael crossed his arms over his chest. “Well.”
“Hi Michael,” Liz shifted awkwardly. He didn’t look happy to see her, which wasn’t a surprise.
“Where’s Isabel?” Max stepped into the apartment, with his hand on the small of Liz’s back, leading her ahead of him.
“In the bedroom,” Michael following them into the living room. “She was up most of the night watching the reports. She was worried sick about you,” he shot a reproving look at Max. “You could have called her and told her you were okay.”
“Cell phones are out,” Max informed him, in case he hadn’t realized it yet. “The ships are probably blocking the transmission towers.”
“Great,” Michael rubbed a hand through his disheveled hair. He walked into the kitchen and poured himself another cup of coffee. “You got any great ideas on how to deal with this shit?” Michael waved his hand toward the TV.
“Yeah,” Max glanced over at Liz, wishing he could give Michael a better option. “Liz has worked out a plan.”
“A plan?” Michael jumped on it. “What kind of plan?”
“I’ll go get Isabel,” Max hedged, delaying the inevitable. He left the room, leaving Michael and Liz alone and uncomfortable. Michael blamed her for making Max’s life a living hell. If Liz had had the power to read his thoughts, she wouldn’t have blamed him.
Feeling his eyes boring right into her, Liz tried to break the strained silence. “So,” she glanced up at Michael. “You and Isabel?”
“Me and . . .?” Michael echoed, not getting her meaning at first. His eyes grew larger when it sank in. “No. There’s no ‘Me and Isabel’. She’s got her own apartment a couple doors down, but, with this shit going on,” he motioned toward the TV, “we thought we should stay together.”
“Oh,” Liz nodded. After a moment she was drawn to ask, “Do you . . . ever . . . hear from Maria?”
“I was going to ask you that,” Michael sipped his coffee.
“No,” Liz shook her head. She’d lost contact with Maria years ago.
Michael turned his back, walking over to stare out the window at the sunrise. “She went to California after graduation. Her mom says she’s doing okay.” At least she was, before this.
“That’s good,” Liz felt the ache in her chest. She’d hoped to see Maria once more, but it wasn’t meant to be, just like everything else in her life.
“Thank God!” Isabel’s voice drifted into the living room. Liz knew that right this moment, Isabel was probably throwing her arms around her brother, relieved beyond words that he was back, counting on him to find an answer to the menace in the skies above them. Isabel had lived in fear for years that Kivar would come to take her back, and she was right. Liz had seen it in a vision. Kivar wanted a princess for a bride, whether she was willing or not. Isabel had good reason to be afraid.
Two sets of footsteps headed toward the living room and Liz prepared herself for the worst, or tried to. As soon as Isabel saw her, the temperature in the room dropped by forty degrees. To say Isabel gave her a frosty reception was an understatement.
“Well look what the cat drug in,” Isabel stood stiffly, glaring at Liz.
“Isabel –” Max warned and moved across the room to join Liz.
“It’s okay,” Liz said softly to Max. She couldn’t blame Michael or Isabel for their reaction to her. They had good reason to despise her, but she wasn’t here to win any popularity contests. None of it mattered anymore.
“Where did you find her?” Isabel asked her brother, though her eyes remained glued to Liz.
“Cambridge,” Max answered.
“You made it to Harvard?” Michael asked. Max and Isabel turned to stare at him in surprise, causing him to retort, “What? You think I don’t know where Harvard is?”
“Not Harvard,” Liz felt their eyes turn to her. “I went to MIT. It’s where I was working when Max found me . . .”
She focused on him, hoping he would keep the circumstances surrounding their reunion private, just between the two of them.
“What the hell is that?” Michael pointed at her hands, seeing the flickering green sparks lighting up her skin. Max reached for her hand, relieved to notice that this time when he touched her, the sparks dimmed instead of becoming brighter. He hoped it meant she was growing more comfortable with him again, that his touch wasn’t the cause for more pain.
Liz felt the warmth of his hand around hers, reminding her of the way things used to be between them, once upon a time. The energy surging through her hands lessened in direct response to his soothing touch, and after all the years of second guessing herself she finally knew she’d made the right choice in leaving all those years ago. If she had gone back to Max, if she had returned to Roswell even once, she would never have had the strength to let him go. Not again. Her soul was inextricably tied to his, and it was only through shutting off completely that she found the strength to do what had to be done.
“What’s going on?” Isabel demanded.
“There’s a lot we need to talk about,” Max faced his sister and brother, staunchly standing at Liz’s side. If nothing else, the least he could give Liz was his support, and his love.
“Like what?” Michael sounded on edge.
“Remember when I got Liz’s journal in the mail?”
“How could we forget?” Isabel glared at Liz while talking to Max. “You were upset for days, weeks. You wouldn’t eat. You couldn’t sleep. You were never the same afterward.”
“No,” Max agreed. “I wasn’t, and I never told you why.”
Max felt Liz lean into him a little closer, felt her looking up at his face, felt her hand tighten in his. Looking down he could see regret in the dark pools of her eyes, sorrow for what they had put each other through, grief for what would never be.
“But you’re going to now?” Michael sat down on an overstuffed chair, sensing that this was important, maybe the most significant thing he would ever hear. Isabel sat on the couch near him, more than ready to finally hear the truth Max had purposefully kept hidden.
Max sat on the opposite end of the couch, pulling Liz down to sit next to him. He could sense how fragile she was, here in the presence of Michael and Isabel, and his automatic impulse was to protect her. He cradled her hand in his; both of them drawing support from each other.
“A lot of what she wrote in the journal was private, between her and me,” Max said, clasping her hand between both of his. “It’s why I never shared it with you.” Liz looked at him, showing relief that he had kept it private. So much of what she had written was meant only for him to see.
“The fall of our junior year, before we destroyed the skins, before I went to New York, before I . . .” his voice faltered. Before he fucked everything all to hell. He drew in a deep breath and pressed on. “Long before I sent Tess back to Antar, Liz got a visit from me, but it wasn’t really me.”
He knew he was saying it badly, so he plunged on, trying to get it all out before the others could start bombarding him with questions.
“Right before we went to Copper Summit, Liz got a visit from a future version of me. He used the Granilith to come back in time. He told her that the world was going to end in 14 years if she didn’t do something to change it.”
“Are you crazy?” Michael’s mouth fell open. He was about to tell them that time travel was impossible – until he saw the look on their faces.
“Max came back from the future to tell me the world was going to end if I didn’t make him fall out of love with me,” Liz told them, dropping her eyes to her lap. “He said you needed Tess. That without her, you wouldn’t have the power of the Four Square, and without it, your enemies would defeat you, and destroy the world.”
“Are you saying,” Isabel stared at Liz in shock, “that you predicted this?”
“In a way,” Liz agreed with her. “But now the timetable has moved forward. Instead of fourteen years, now it’s happening in eight.”
“Liz can see things,” Max told the others. “Things that happen in the future. Visions of what will be. We think it’s because of my healing her when she was shot in the Crashdown. I . . . changed her.”
“You made her . . . one of us?” Isabel asked, feeling numb.
“No,” Michael shook his head, understanding dawning after all these years. “Our powers aren’t alien, they’re human, just advanced human. Nasedo told me that. When Max healed Liz, maybe he gave her a boost on the evolutionary scale.”
“Exactly,” Max nodded. “And because of that, she can see things that haven’t happened yet.”
“Like . . .?” Isabel wasn’t sure she wanted to know.
Liz steeled herself for their reaction and said, “In a week, all human life on this planet will be dead.”
“WHAT?” Michael erupted out of his seat, while Isabel sat frozen on the couch.
“I saw it,” Liz watched him pace back and forth across his living room. “The ships are going to release a toxin that will kill human life on this planet – if we don’t stop them.”
“And how are we supposed to do that?” Isabel was panicking inside.
“I’ve been working on this problem for years,” Liz spoke up, trying to show confidence. She had screwed up once, not having seen Tess for what she really was until it was too late. She couldn’t afford to make any more mistakes. “Someone has to go back in time and correct the mistake that created this timeline. It’s the only way to save Earth.”
“What mistake?” Isabel was feeling sick. She didn’t like the pained look on Max’s face, or the way his head fell forward to hide it.
“Max has to go back and change the key event that caused all this,” Liz told the others. “The event that changed everything.” She looked down at Max’s hand clasped tightly in hers, wishing there was a viable alternative, but there wasn’t. She’d worked on it for years, and now their time was up.
“What key event?” Isabel asked.
Liz looked up, facing Michael and Isabel. Even though she had reconciled to her fate, it was still hard to actually say it out loud. “Max has to go back to September, 1999, to prevent his younger self from saving my life.”
“What?” Michael barked.
“You mean,” Isabel blurted out, “to prevent you from getting shot, right?”
“No,” Liz fought an internal battle to remain in control, even though she felt like falling apart. She could feel Max trembling beside her. “Before the shooting, you were living your lives, safely hiding in the background. My world was safe from yours. Kivar, the Skins, they all thought you had perished in the crash. No one knew you existed until Max healed me that day in the Crashdown. That’s the event that changed everything.”
“This is crazy!” Michael rejected it. “You can’t honestly believe –”
“Michael, I’ve lived and breathed this for years. When Max saved my life, it triggered everything else that came after. Tess, Nasedo, Pierce, the Special Unit of the FBI, all of it. Changing one of those elements won’t change the final outcome. That’s been proven already. Look at what happened with Tess. In the first timeline, Max and I were together and she left town, leaving you defenseless when Kivar attacked. This time, Max and I were apart, but the outcome is still the same. My world is about to die. The only way to change it is to go back and correct the original mistake.”
“Mistake?” Isabel cried out. “You call Max saving your life a mistake?”
“Isn’t that what you called it?” Liz accused hotly, even now stinging over past memories.
Isabel’s face blanched, remembering the way she and Michael had condemned Max over and over, throwing his ‘mistake’ back in his face, blaming every bad thing that happened to them on his healing Liz Parker.
“Your secret was exposed the day Max saved me,” Liz tried to pull her emotions back in. Recriminations weren’t going to help. “Nasedo found the three of you because of me. The Special Unit of the FBI found out about you because me. The discovery of the orb that gave away your location was because of me. No one would have ever known about you if it wasn’t for me –”
Liz covered her face with her hand trying to hold back a sob, feeling her outer veneer cracking under the weight of the past. So many things had happened – bad things – because Max changed her fate with the touch of his hand.
“Liz –” Max tried to soothe her. “It wasn’t –”
“I was right that night in the van, Max,” Liz whispered, looking at him with anguish in her eyes. “You were safe until you saved me. Everyone was – safe.”
The words stuck in Max’s throat seeing the look on her face, knowing she believed this with every part of her heart and soul. There was nothing he could say to change her mind. She’d accepted her fate a long time ago.
“It was my destiny to die that day in the Crashdown,” Liz dropped her head so they couldn’t see her face.
Max cringed at the sound of the hated word. Destiny was the enemy, the grim reaper walking the face of the earth, taking away everything he loved. He wrapped his arm around Liz and drew her close, giving her what little comfort he could. Her head against his chest reminded him of days gone by, innocent times they’d lost in their painful journey to this bitter moment.
“How are you supposed to accomplish this feat?” Michael said after a minute, rejecting the idea. “If the Granilith is some kind of time machine, do I need to remind you that it’s gone? Tess took it back home.”
“She’s back,” Max looked over Liz’s head at Michael and Isabel.
“How –” Michael started to ask, then dropped his eyes to Liz.
“She ‘saw’ it,” Max confirmed.
“In a vision?” Michael scoffed. He was a practical man, not given to flights of fantasy. If he didn’t see the rock solid evidence, he didn’t believe.
Max felt Liz stiffen suddenly and pull away from him, mistakenly thinking she was hurt or offended by Michael’s comment. He felt his anger rise over Michael’s callous attitude, ready to jump down his throat in Liz’s defense, until he saw what she was looking at. Icy tendrils of fear shot down his spine while he watched the horror unfold on the television screen.
“What the fuck is that?” Michael blurted out when he saw it too. Isabel bolted up from the couch, covering her mouth with her hand, all of them struck silent while the panicked voice of the news reporter blared from the speakers.
“Wait! Something’s happening! Reports are coming in . . . yes . . . something . . . there, you can see it now . . . You are looking at a live picture of the ship above Roswell, New Mexico. Just moments ago a hatch of some kind opened on the underside of the ship. A red substance – like smoke, or a vapor – has been released into the atmosphere . . .”
Liz collapsed onto the floor in front of the television watching the cloud of red poison spread out around the ship. The winds of the upper atmosphere spread it quickly, tingeing the sky in shades of pink. It was just a matter of time now until the toxin circled the globe, and drifted down to the surface.
She felt Max’s arms tighten around her in an unconscious attempt to protect her, but it was a futile effort. He couldn’t protect her from the air she needed to breathe. She turned her face to look at him, with her eyes brimming with tears. Everything she’d seen in her visions was coming to pass. There was no time left for discussion, no alternate plans to devise, no hope left. Her hand lifted to his face, brushing at the tears that now stained his cheek, knowing that he understood. Their lips drifted together, sharing a kiss of regret for all that they had lost, for all the time they had missed, for all that would never be.
When their lips parted they stayed within the circle of each other’s warmth, the only refuge they had from the chill of impending death.
* * * * *
Liz stood at the window, looking out at the red tinged dawn, knowing the end was near. Her life could now be counted in minutes, not days or years.
“It’s not time yet,” Max said from behind her.
She could hear the strain in his voice, the underlying soft pleading to wake up from this nightmare. She’d had years to come to terms with this moment; he’d had less than 48 hours.
“I’ve done things I’m not proud of,” Liz said softly against the coldness of the rising sun, the last dawn she would ever see. She felt him take a step in her direction, heard him take in a breath to refute her claim, but there were things she needed to say. Things she needed him to hear.
“I never meant to hurt you . . .”
“We’ve both said things . . . done things . . . that we can’t take back,” Max walked up behind her.
“I stayed away all these years; I closed myself off from my family, from my friends . . . from you, because I knew if I came back, I knew if I was anywhere near you, you’d make me feel again, and I couldn’t let myself do that. You would have given me hope. You would have convinced me to look for another way, even though there isn’t any. And then neither one of us would have been ready for what we have to do.”
He knew she was right. He would have done anything, said anything, to make her change her mind. His hand lifted to touch her hair, the strands still as silky as before, when the world had been whole. He turned her around, lifting her chin, caressing her face as if time had never come between them. Her cheek leaned into his palm, allowing herself one moment to live.
“I never thought I’d get to touch you this way again,” her fingers brushed against the back of his hand. “Or that you’d ever want to touch me.”
He knew what she was saying. The life she’d led these last years wasn’t just about drowning in the loss, but about building up her walls so high he wouldn’t want to cross them. A bittersweet smile crossed his lips, realizing she didn’t know him as well as she thought she did.
“I can’t not touch you, Liz,” he wrapped her in his arms. Her head fit perfectly under his chin, her breath warm comfort against his throat. “There’s nothing you could do that could ever keep me from wanting this. From wanting you. You’re a part of me. We’re a part of each other.”
The tension left Liz as his meaning became clear. There were no secrets between them, not any more. Their pasts had been laid bare for both of them to see and there was no room left in their hearts for regrets or condemnation. In silence they crossed over to the front door of Michael’s apartment, his hand inside of hers, her fingers laced around his.
While the rest of the world slept, Max and Liz stepped outside with their eyes wide open.
Downfall (M&L / Adult ) (Complete)
Moderators: Itzstacie, Forum Moderators
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Breathless
- Addicted Roswellian
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- Joined: Tue Oct 09, 2001 4:58 pm
- Location: Somewhere in ficland
-
Breathless
- Addicted Roswellian
- Posts: 254
- Joined: Tue Oct 09, 2001 4:58 pm
- Location: Somewhere in ficland
Downfall Part 10
Author: Debbi aka Breathless
Category: Max and Liz
Rating: R for language and adult themes
Downfall
See that face from across the room
And I can feel you’re nothing
Show you’re fear it’s not hard to see
Intention’s pale it’s blinding
Stop stop from the place I’ve been
No good for the shape I’m in
I’m slow to the race you win
You wanna take me out
Stop stop with the face off in
My space and the wicked descend
No taste for the place I’m in
You need to stop stop
I am all you need to know
I am everywhere you go
No one can save you now
When it all comes around
I am everything you see
I am what you’ll never be
No one can save you now
When it all comes around
Figure 8
Song lyrics by
Trust Company
Part 10
Max stood staring at the reddish striations in the rock surface, delaying the inevitable, thinking back to a time when he considered red to be his favorite color. He could remember every red article of clothing Liz had ever owned, from the little red boots she’d stomped through puddles in when she was 8, to the red tank top she’d worn on a warm December night, when he’d finally gathered up the courage to kiss her for the first time.
He’d always viewed red as Liz’s color, and now it was going to kill her.
His eyes lifted to take in the hated red color of the sky, the toxin now spread from horizon to horizon. All that he cared about would soon be gone, his family, his friends, Liz. Only he would remain to remember them, to grieve for them, to slowly die inside without them. He couldn’t let it end this way.
Liz had been right, just as always. He hadn’t doubted her this time, but he’d learned that lesson too late. Recriminations from his past mistakes were haunting him, smothering him, slowly killing him, just as surely as the red tinged air was slowly killing Liz. She coughed beside him, instantly sending his panic rising.
“Are you okay?” he cupped her flushed cheek with his hand, not knowing if the color was just a reflection from the sky, or the first signs of the poison taking hold.
“I’m fine,” she cherished the feel of his hand. He didn’t need to know that her lungs were already starting to burn. It wouldn’t help him. She needed to be strong, to see this to the end, to help him do what had to be done. “We should . . .”
Max felt the dead weight twist in his stomach. It was only her strength that was keeping him from falling apart. Reluctantly, he raised his hand and waved it over the rock, revealing a silver handprint. He pressed his hand against it, opening the hidden chamber inside. He led Liz into the dark interior, dreading what was to come.
His eyes swept over the pod chamber, surprised by how little it had changed. He hadn’t been inside it since the Granilith’s departure, and he’d expected to see nothing but ruin. The pods were a crumpled heap on the ground, but the walls were still intact.
A low level hum filled the air, telling him that Liz had been right yet again. The Granilith was back.
With their hands clasped together, they made the journey across the chamber in silence. The knowledge of their impending fates pressed against them, burying words in the silence. They entered the Granilith chamber, both feeling the immense power coiled inside the slumbering machine.
They walked slowly around the base, and with each step Max felt his panic rising. He stopped suddenly, nearly overcome with a pain deeper than anything imaginable.
“I don’t think I can do this,” the strain was thick in his voice. He grasped her by the shoulders, still begging her to find another way. “I can’t. I can’t, Liz.”
“You have to,” Liz curled her hands around his upper arms. “You’re the only one who can.”
“You go,” Max urged her, grasping at anything that could keep him from this nightmare. “I screwed it up last time. What if I get it wrong again? I can’t do this Liz! I don’t have your kind of strength.”
“You do,” Liz moved her hands to his face, cupping his cheeks gently. “You had the strength to keep looking for me all those years, you have the strength now to make things right.”
“Come with me,” he pleaded. “We’ll do it together, the way we always should have been.”
“I can’t,” her hand fell away from his face, her eyes stark with sadness. “The poison is in me already –”
“No!” Max tried to deny it. He wouldn’t hear of it. She couldn’t be dying if he didn’t believe it.
“I’m a carrier, Max. You’re not. If I go back, I’ll spread the poison with me. You have to go alone.”
“How can I leave you now?” Max lifted her hand up to his chest to cover his heart. “There’s so many things we didn’t say . . .things we didn’t do.” His voice cracked under the weight of his emotions. “You never got your wedding dance. When I read your journal, I made a vow that you’d have that dance. We should have grown old together, Liz. We should have had children together. We should have made love.”
“It wasn’t meant to be,” Liz whispered, choking back a sob.
“Oh how touching,” a strident voice filled the chamber, startling Max and Liz with its familiar grating tone. Max pushed Liz behind him as Tess stepped out of the shadows on the far side of the Granilith, wiping an imaginary tear from her cheek. She focused on Liz, goading her, “You never got to make love? What a shame. You really missed out. I can tell you from personal experience, he’s really very good.”
“Tess,” Max spit out her name.
“Good to see you too, lover,” Tess cooed. She looked him over appraisingly, making his skin crawl.
She hadn’t changed much over the years, Max noted. The childlike innocence on her face still belied the vicious bitch that lived inside her skin. How could he have been so deceived by that face? How could he have been such a fool?
Sudden images flashed in his mind – picking Tess up and bending her over the biology table while Liz watched from the back of the classroom – holding Tess in his arms, naked under the desert sun, her lips kissing his throat. He felt Liz stiffen beside him, knowing Tess was sending her the images, too.
“STOP IT!” he shouted and took a menacing step toward her. “None of that was real! You planted those images in my mind back then, just like you’re doing now!”
“Not all of it was fake, Max,” her blue eyes stormed. “You didn’t resist very hard that night in the rain, now did you?”
The imaged appeared in his mind, standing in the rain next to her car, dropping his head down to hers, kissing Tess while Liz watched heartbroken from the Crashdown. The location suddenly changed to the night of the prom, sitting beside Tess, slowly leaning toward her, kissing her with Liz standing in the background, seeing his betrayal. It changed again, this time Max seeing the observatory flash through his mind, lying naked with Tess on the cold floor, losing his virginity with the wrong girl.
Liz choked back a sob over the images Tess was sending to her. Even after all these years, the pain of it was still overwhelming.
“I never wanted any of those things,” Max hissed at Tess, shaking off the images. “I never wanted you.”
“The night we made love –”
“I fucked you, Tess!” Max shouted. “There was no love in it!”
“We created a child that night!” Tess shouted back. Her face was livid with anger.
“Where is my son?” Max asked through clenched teeth. His hands fisted at his sides trying to control the urge to kill her with his powers.
“You want to know what happened to him?” Tess spit out. “You killed him!”
Max stumbled back, shocked by her accusation.
“I –”
“He was sick and you knew it!” she stepped toward him. “You could have saved him, but you chose to stay here with her instead!” Tess glared at Liz. “You chose her over your own son!”
Tess shot her hand out, sending a bolt of energy toward Liz, knocking her backwards, slamming her into the wall.
“Liz!” Max cried out and ran to her side. He threw up his shield to protect them while he checked Liz for injuries. She struggled to sit up, leaning back into the wall for support.
“You have to keep her occupied,” Liz whispered as he cradled her face in his hands. “I need to power up the Granilith without her knowing what I’m doing.”
“What about your journal?” he looked down at her, revealing the face of a man who was more than just haunted by his past, more than just ravaged by the course of his life. He was a man who knew he was about to lose everything.
“I don’t need the journal,” Liz squeezed his hand. “I memorized what I needed to do a long time ago. I just need time now, and you’re the only one who can give it to me.”
He knew what she wanted him to do. Over the years her dreams had given him insights into her that he’d never had before. He could read her face with clarity. She wanted him to create a diversion so she could do what had to be done. Max touched her face with the gentleness of angels, then rose to his feet with fury blazing in his eyes.
“How dare you touch her!” Max turned on Tess. He converted his shield into a blast of energy and sent Tess flying backwards, crashing into the wall. She cowered on the floor for a moment before pushing slowly back to her feet.
“She’s nothing!” Tess spit at him. “Nothing!”
“She’s what you could never be!” Max shot back. Liz had been, and would always be, the only love of his life.
“She betrayed you!” Tess cried out. “She left you, remember? Your precious Liz ran out on you, and when she came back, she slept with Kyle just to make you stay away from her! I was there. I saw first hand what she did to you! I was the one who was there for you that night in the park, remember?”
“I can forgive Liz for anything,” Max said with deadly calmness. “You, on the other hand, I can’t forgive you for breathing.”
Liz pressed her hand against the cool black surface of the Granilith triggering a control panel to appear, just as she had seen in her vision. She had studied for years, worked herself to exhaustion, driven herself to the very edge learning all there was to know about quantum physics and spatial distortions, black holes and time displacement. She had worked side by side with Serena on their ‘pet project’, endless hours debating the theory of time travel, but in the end it all came down to the visions. They had shown her clearly what had to be done.
The Granilith. The crystal. The power she had in her hands to change history. She made those alterations now, gearing up the Granilith to carry its precious cargo into the past, to wipe out her reality and create a new one. A better one. A reality without her in it.
She worked quickly, taking out the crystal, changing its polarity with the green energy that surged through her hands, while Max squared off with Tess.
“I was your wife!” Tess screamed at him with her hands fisted at her sides.
“You were never my wife,” Max said coldly. “You were always a sick fuck, Tess. Spouting Destiny bullshit out of your mouth every two seconds. I only fucked you to shut you up.”
Max stepped forward, willing to say or do anything to keep Tess’ attention focused on him. He grabbed her, spanning her forehead with his hand, his thumb on one temple, his little finger on the other. Tess cried out in pain as he squeezed, probing her mind for the things he needed to know.
“You want to know what I really thought when I woke up the next morning with you lying next to me? I wanted to spew my guts!” He sent the image to her, of the horrified look on his face when he woke up that morning in the observatory, knowing he’d just made the worst mistake of his life. He followed that with a flash of the repugnance he felt holding her hand the next day at school. Lastly he showed her how he had really felt when she told him she was pregnant. He sent her the image of him crying his eyes out behind his house, knowing that a freak like her was carrying his child.
Max shoved her backwards again and watched her crumple to the ground.
“You loved our child!” Tess cried, quaking on the floor.
“Of course I did. He was my son,” Max hovered over her. “It doesn’t mean I cared anything about his mother.”
“You used him . . .”
Max turned at the sound of Liz’s voice, seeing her standing only a few feet behind him, staring intently at Tess. Her eyes burned with the kind of rage Max had never seen there before.
“You used that poor baby,” Liz stepped toward Tess.
Tess pushed herself up from the floor trying to regain her footing, and her upper hand. A human was no match for her. Little Liz Parker was about to get exactly what she deserved –
Liz lifted her hand and shot a bolt of green energy at the alien bitch. Tess flew backwards, hitting the wall hard, staring at Liz in stunned silence. Liz hit her with another bolt, blistering the skin on the blonde’s face and chest, gratified by the sounds of the alien’s screams. Her rage grew as the full truth of it flashed in her head.
“You intentionally conceived a child to force Max to go back with you, knowing it couldn’t survive,” Liz fought back the nausea. “You used your own child.”
“What?” Max stared at Liz. What was she saying?
“I’m a molecular biologist, Max,” Liz reminded him. “You’re hybrids, cloned from human DNA. Clones don’t mate well. The offspring is usually compromised. It wasn’t Earth’s air that was killing your son,” Liz turned from his stunned face to Tess’ hateful glare. “It was genetics. There was nothing you could have done to save him. He was doomed from the start.”
Max reeled back from the revelation. For years he’d lived with the guilt, wondering the fate of his son, but the child never had a chance. No child of his would ever –
“Max,” Liz squeezed his hand, sensing his torturous thoughts. “To have a healthy child, you would need to mate with pure blood. Pure Antarian . . . or pure human.”
Her implication was clear. They would have had beautiful children. Strong, healthy, human children. They stared into each other’s eyes, both mourning a future they would never have.
“It doesn’t matter,” Tess glared defiantly at Liz. “None of that matters. Your kind will all be dead in a few days. When we’re done terraforming this planet, my kind won’t need skins to survive here anymore. You’ve lost Liz, and I’ve won!”
“You won’t live to celebrate, Tess,” Liz said with calm serenity. If she had to die soon, there was at least some satisfaction in knowing Tess would go before her.
“You won’t kill me,” Tess said smugly. Max never had the guts for murder.
“There’s only one person I’ve ever wanted to kill, Tess,” Max said viciously. “Thank you for finally giving me the chance.” He raised his hand, sending out his shield, using it to push her back against the wall, to force it against her face, to smother the life right out of her.
Tess fought back, using her own energy force to fight him. Max might have gotten stronger over the last eight years, but he wasn’t as strong as she was. He never had been. His powers had always been woefully lacking. She sent a burst of power toward him, making him stumble backwards. A gloating smile transformed her face into a leer.
Liz raised her hand to join Max’s. They looked at each other, feeling their force combining, coiling with renewed energy, more than enough to do what had to be done. They always had been stronger together, and it was only when they were separate that their lives faltered and fell apart. The Max that had come back from the future hadn’t understood that. This Max would never forget.
Minutes later when they ended their assault, all that remained of Tess was the echo of her dying screams and a pile of dust on the Granilith floor. The satisfaction was fleeting though. Tess was gone, but nothing had changed. Not yet. Max still had a job to do, that he could only do alone. He turned to Liz, still holding out for another option to present itself, knowing he was only deluding himself.
“We have to do this now,” Liz slipped her hand into his. She dropped her head and led him to the Granilith, trying to keep her emotions in check. In moments, when the machine pulled his molecules inside, her world would cease to exist. A new one would be born, one that she wouldn’t be a part of, but the others would. Max would have a chance again. Isabel and Michael, too.
And Alex would live to see his twenty-first birthday, even if she would not. For her, it was a trade she was willing to make. Her life for his, and six billion others.
“What happens now?” Max fought to be strong, knowing he was breaking inside.
“Now you go make things right,” Liz gave in to her weakness, letting herself lean into his chest, allowing one last moment in his arms.
“It’s not fair,” his voice shook with unbridled despair.
“Life’s not fair, Max,” Liz let her tears fall against his chest. “But you have the rare chance to make the world a better place.”
“I’ll die without you, Liz,” he held her tight, never wanting to let her go.
“I’ll wait for you on the other side,” she whispered, choking back a sob, feeling his body shaking from his own tears.
He touched his fingertips under her chin, raising her face up to his, kissing her one last time. Their tears mingled together, joining in a way they had been denied for so many long and lonely years, two virginal lovers torn apart before their love could ever bloom. When their lips parted, they breathed each other’s air, clinging together for one moment longer, before Liz took his hand and placed it on the glasslike surface of the Granilith.
“Liz,” he choked as she stepped away from him. No. He couldn’t do this. He couldn’t. The machine changed pitch and Max looked down to see her hand on the crystal that powered the Granilith. His hand began to tingle, and then his arm, and before he could pull it away, he was sucked into the beast.
Liz looked up at him through the glass, pressing her hand against the surface for one last touch. His hand pressed against hers from the other side, looking at her with tear filled eyes. He dropped down to his knees, trying to stay as close to her as he could.
“I love you,” his choked voice traveled through the glass. “Past, present, always. I’ll never love anyone but you.”
“I never stopped loving you,” Liz closed her eyes briefly, then reopened them, giving him her final goodbye. Their faces were just inches apart, separated by the cold hard glass, preventing him from wiping away the tears that streaked her face. The words she whispered next tore through him like no others, rending his heart into a thousand pieces.
“Don’t forget me.”
The Granilith filled with blinding light, and when it faded moments later, Max was gone. With his departure, the world dimmed and turned to black.
Note: Tomorrow (Friday) night I'll post the final part, and some personal thoughts. Until then, keep this refrain in mind:
Liz isn't always right, and Max isn't always stupid.
Category: Max and Liz
Rating: R for language and adult themes
Downfall
See that face from across the room
And I can feel you’re nothing
Show you’re fear it’s not hard to see
Intention’s pale it’s blinding
Stop stop from the place I’ve been
No good for the shape I’m in
I’m slow to the race you win
You wanna take me out
Stop stop with the face off in
My space and the wicked descend
No taste for the place I’m in
You need to stop stop
I am all you need to know
I am everywhere you go
No one can save you now
When it all comes around
I am everything you see
I am what you’ll never be
No one can save you now
When it all comes around
Figure 8
Song lyrics by
Trust Company
Part 10
Max stood staring at the reddish striations in the rock surface, delaying the inevitable, thinking back to a time when he considered red to be his favorite color. He could remember every red article of clothing Liz had ever owned, from the little red boots she’d stomped through puddles in when she was 8, to the red tank top she’d worn on a warm December night, when he’d finally gathered up the courage to kiss her for the first time.
He’d always viewed red as Liz’s color, and now it was going to kill her.
His eyes lifted to take in the hated red color of the sky, the toxin now spread from horizon to horizon. All that he cared about would soon be gone, his family, his friends, Liz. Only he would remain to remember them, to grieve for them, to slowly die inside without them. He couldn’t let it end this way.
Liz had been right, just as always. He hadn’t doubted her this time, but he’d learned that lesson too late. Recriminations from his past mistakes were haunting him, smothering him, slowly killing him, just as surely as the red tinged air was slowly killing Liz. She coughed beside him, instantly sending his panic rising.
“Are you okay?” he cupped her flushed cheek with his hand, not knowing if the color was just a reflection from the sky, or the first signs of the poison taking hold.
“I’m fine,” she cherished the feel of his hand. He didn’t need to know that her lungs were already starting to burn. It wouldn’t help him. She needed to be strong, to see this to the end, to help him do what had to be done. “We should . . .”
Max felt the dead weight twist in his stomach. It was only her strength that was keeping him from falling apart. Reluctantly, he raised his hand and waved it over the rock, revealing a silver handprint. He pressed his hand against it, opening the hidden chamber inside. He led Liz into the dark interior, dreading what was to come.
His eyes swept over the pod chamber, surprised by how little it had changed. He hadn’t been inside it since the Granilith’s departure, and he’d expected to see nothing but ruin. The pods were a crumpled heap on the ground, but the walls were still intact.
A low level hum filled the air, telling him that Liz had been right yet again. The Granilith was back.
With their hands clasped together, they made the journey across the chamber in silence. The knowledge of their impending fates pressed against them, burying words in the silence. They entered the Granilith chamber, both feeling the immense power coiled inside the slumbering machine.
They walked slowly around the base, and with each step Max felt his panic rising. He stopped suddenly, nearly overcome with a pain deeper than anything imaginable.
“I don’t think I can do this,” the strain was thick in his voice. He grasped her by the shoulders, still begging her to find another way. “I can’t. I can’t, Liz.”
“You have to,” Liz curled her hands around his upper arms. “You’re the only one who can.”
“You go,” Max urged her, grasping at anything that could keep him from this nightmare. “I screwed it up last time. What if I get it wrong again? I can’t do this Liz! I don’t have your kind of strength.”
“You do,” Liz moved her hands to his face, cupping his cheeks gently. “You had the strength to keep looking for me all those years, you have the strength now to make things right.”
“Come with me,” he pleaded. “We’ll do it together, the way we always should have been.”
“I can’t,” her hand fell away from his face, her eyes stark with sadness. “The poison is in me already –”
“No!” Max tried to deny it. He wouldn’t hear of it. She couldn’t be dying if he didn’t believe it.
“I’m a carrier, Max. You’re not. If I go back, I’ll spread the poison with me. You have to go alone.”
“How can I leave you now?” Max lifted her hand up to his chest to cover his heart. “There’s so many things we didn’t say . . .things we didn’t do.” His voice cracked under the weight of his emotions. “You never got your wedding dance. When I read your journal, I made a vow that you’d have that dance. We should have grown old together, Liz. We should have had children together. We should have made love.”
“It wasn’t meant to be,” Liz whispered, choking back a sob.
“Oh how touching,” a strident voice filled the chamber, startling Max and Liz with its familiar grating tone. Max pushed Liz behind him as Tess stepped out of the shadows on the far side of the Granilith, wiping an imaginary tear from her cheek. She focused on Liz, goading her, “You never got to make love? What a shame. You really missed out. I can tell you from personal experience, he’s really very good.”
“Tess,” Max spit out her name.
“Good to see you too, lover,” Tess cooed. She looked him over appraisingly, making his skin crawl.
She hadn’t changed much over the years, Max noted. The childlike innocence on her face still belied the vicious bitch that lived inside her skin. How could he have been so deceived by that face? How could he have been such a fool?
Sudden images flashed in his mind – picking Tess up and bending her over the biology table while Liz watched from the back of the classroom – holding Tess in his arms, naked under the desert sun, her lips kissing his throat. He felt Liz stiffen beside him, knowing Tess was sending her the images, too.
“STOP IT!” he shouted and took a menacing step toward her. “None of that was real! You planted those images in my mind back then, just like you’re doing now!”
“Not all of it was fake, Max,” her blue eyes stormed. “You didn’t resist very hard that night in the rain, now did you?”
The imaged appeared in his mind, standing in the rain next to her car, dropping his head down to hers, kissing Tess while Liz watched heartbroken from the Crashdown. The location suddenly changed to the night of the prom, sitting beside Tess, slowly leaning toward her, kissing her with Liz standing in the background, seeing his betrayal. It changed again, this time Max seeing the observatory flash through his mind, lying naked with Tess on the cold floor, losing his virginity with the wrong girl.
Liz choked back a sob over the images Tess was sending to her. Even after all these years, the pain of it was still overwhelming.
“I never wanted any of those things,” Max hissed at Tess, shaking off the images. “I never wanted you.”
“The night we made love –”
“I fucked you, Tess!” Max shouted. “There was no love in it!”
“We created a child that night!” Tess shouted back. Her face was livid with anger.
“Where is my son?” Max asked through clenched teeth. His hands fisted at his sides trying to control the urge to kill her with his powers.
“You want to know what happened to him?” Tess spit out. “You killed him!”
Max stumbled back, shocked by her accusation.
“I –”
“He was sick and you knew it!” she stepped toward him. “You could have saved him, but you chose to stay here with her instead!” Tess glared at Liz. “You chose her over your own son!”
Tess shot her hand out, sending a bolt of energy toward Liz, knocking her backwards, slamming her into the wall.
“Liz!” Max cried out and ran to her side. He threw up his shield to protect them while he checked Liz for injuries. She struggled to sit up, leaning back into the wall for support.
“You have to keep her occupied,” Liz whispered as he cradled her face in his hands. “I need to power up the Granilith without her knowing what I’m doing.”
“What about your journal?” he looked down at her, revealing the face of a man who was more than just haunted by his past, more than just ravaged by the course of his life. He was a man who knew he was about to lose everything.
“I don’t need the journal,” Liz squeezed his hand. “I memorized what I needed to do a long time ago. I just need time now, and you’re the only one who can give it to me.”
He knew what she wanted him to do. Over the years her dreams had given him insights into her that he’d never had before. He could read her face with clarity. She wanted him to create a diversion so she could do what had to be done. Max touched her face with the gentleness of angels, then rose to his feet with fury blazing in his eyes.
“How dare you touch her!” Max turned on Tess. He converted his shield into a blast of energy and sent Tess flying backwards, crashing into the wall. She cowered on the floor for a moment before pushing slowly back to her feet.
“She’s nothing!” Tess spit at him. “Nothing!”
“She’s what you could never be!” Max shot back. Liz had been, and would always be, the only love of his life.
“She betrayed you!” Tess cried out. “She left you, remember? Your precious Liz ran out on you, and when she came back, she slept with Kyle just to make you stay away from her! I was there. I saw first hand what she did to you! I was the one who was there for you that night in the park, remember?”
“I can forgive Liz for anything,” Max said with deadly calmness. “You, on the other hand, I can’t forgive you for breathing.”
Liz pressed her hand against the cool black surface of the Granilith triggering a control panel to appear, just as she had seen in her vision. She had studied for years, worked herself to exhaustion, driven herself to the very edge learning all there was to know about quantum physics and spatial distortions, black holes and time displacement. She had worked side by side with Serena on their ‘pet project’, endless hours debating the theory of time travel, but in the end it all came down to the visions. They had shown her clearly what had to be done.
The Granilith. The crystal. The power she had in her hands to change history. She made those alterations now, gearing up the Granilith to carry its precious cargo into the past, to wipe out her reality and create a new one. A better one. A reality without her in it.
She worked quickly, taking out the crystal, changing its polarity with the green energy that surged through her hands, while Max squared off with Tess.
“I was your wife!” Tess screamed at him with her hands fisted at her sides.
“You were never my wife,” Max said coldly. “You were always a sick fuck, Tess. Spouting Destiny bullshit out of your mouth every two seconds. I only fucked you to shut you up.”
Max stepped forward, willing to say or do anything to keep Tess’ attention focused on him. He grabbed her, spanning her forehead with his hand, his thumb on one temple, his little finger on the other. Tess cried out in pain as he squeezed, probing her mind for the things he needed to know.
“You want to know what I really thought when I woke up the next morning with you lying next to me? I wanted to spew my guts!” He sent the image to her, of the horrified look on his face when he woke up that morning in the observatory, knowing he’d just made the worst mistake of his life. He followed that with a flash of the repugnance he felt holding her hand the next day at school. Lastly he showed her how he had really felt when she told him she was pregnant. He sent her the image of him crying his eyes out behind his house, knowing that a freak like her was carrying his child.
Max shoved her backwards again and watched her crumple to the ground.
“You loved our child!” Tess cried, quaking on the floor.
“Of course I did. He was my son,” Max hovered over her. “It doesn’t mean I cared anything about his mother.”
“You used him . . .”
Max turned at the sound of Liz’s voice, seeing her standing only a few feet behind him, staring intently at Tess. Her eyes burned with the kind of rage Max had never seen there before.
“You used that poor baby,” Liz stepped toward Tess.
Tess pushed herself up from the floor trying to regain her footing, and her upper hand. A human was no match for her. Little Liz Parker was about to get exactly what she deserved –
Liz lifted her hand and shot a bolt of green energy at the alien bitch. Tess flew backwards, hitting the wall hard, staring at Liz in stunned silence. Liz hit her with another bolt, blistering the skin on the blonde’s face and chest, gratified by the sounds of the alien’s screams. Her rage grew as the full truth of it flashed in her head.
“You intentionally conceived a child to force Max to go back with you, knowing it couldn’t survive,” Liz fought back the nausea. “You used your own child.”
“What?” Max stared at Liz. What was she saying?
“I’m a molecular biologist, Max,” Liz reminded him. “You’re hybrids, cloned from human DNA. Clones don’t mate well. The offspring is usually compromised. It wasn’t Earth’s air that was killing your son,” Liz turned from his stunned face to Tess’ hateful glare. “It was genetics. There was nothing you could have done to save him. He was doomed from the start.”
Max reeled back from the revelation. For years he’d lived with the guilt, wondering the fate of his son, but the child never had a chance. No child of his would ever –
“Max,” Liz squeezed his hand, sensing his torturous thoughts. “To have a healthy child, you would need to mate with pure blood. Pure Antarian . . . or pure human.”
Her implication was clear. They would have had beautiful children. Strong, healthy, human children. They stared into each other’s eyes, both mourning a future they would never have.
“It doesn’t matter,” Tess glared defiantly at Liz. “None of that matters. Your kind will all be dead in a few days. When we’re done terraforming this planet, my kind won’t need skins to survive here anymore. You’ve lost Liz, and I’ve won!”
“You won’t live to celebrate, Tess,” Liz said with calm serenity. If she had to die soon, there was at least some satisfaction in knowing Tess would go before her.
“You won’t kill me,” Tess said smugly. Max never had the guts for murder.
“There’s only one person I’ve ever wanted to kill, Tess,” Max said viciously. “Thank you for finally giving me the chance.” He raised his hand, sending out his shield, using it to push her back against the wall, to force it against her face, to smother the life right out of her.
Tess fought back, using her own energy force to fight him. Max might have gotten stronger over the last eight years, but he wasn’t as strong as she was. He never had been. His powers had always been woefully lacking. She sent a burst of power toward him, making him stumble backwards. A gloating smile transformed her face into a leer.
Liz raised her hand to join Max’s. They looked at each other, feeling their force combining, coiling with renewed energy, more than enough to do what had to be done. They always had been stronger together, and it was only when they were separate that their lives faltered and fell apart. The Max that had come back from the future hadn’t understood that. This Max would never forget.
Minutes later when they ended their assault, all that remained of Tess was the echo of her dying screams and a pile of dust on the Granilith floor. The satisfaction was fleeting though. Tess was gone, but nothing had changed. Not yet. Max still had a job to do, that he could only do alone. He turned to Liz, still holding out for another option to present itself, knowing he was only deluding himself.
“We have to do this now,” Liz slipped her hand into his. She dropped her head and led him to the Granilith, trying to keep her emotions in check. In moments, when the machine pulled his molecules inside, her world would cease to exist. A new one would be born, one that she wouldn’t be a part of, but the others would. Max would have a chance again. Isabel and Michael, too.
And Alex would live to see his twenty-first birthday, even if she would not. For her, it was a trade she was willing to make. Her life for his, and six billion others.
“What happens now?” Max fought to be strong, knowing he was breaking inside.
“Now you go make things right,” Liz gave in to her weakness, letting herself lean into his chest, allowing one last moment in his arms.
“It’s not fair,” his voice shook with unbridled despair.
“Life’s not fair, Max,” Liz let her tears fall against his chest. “But you have the rare chance to make the world a better place.”
“I’ll die without you, Liz,” he held her tight, never wanting to let her go.
“I’ll wait for you on the other side,” she whispered, choking back a sob, feeling his body shaking from his own tears.
He touched his fingertips under her chin, raising her face up to his, kissing her one last time. Their tears mingled together, joining in a way they had been denied for so many long and lonely years, two virginal lovers torn apart before their love could ever bloom. When their lips parted, they breathed each other’s air, clinging together for one moment longer, before Liz took his hand and placed it on the glasslike surface of the Granilith.
“Liz,” he choked as she stepped away from him. No. He couldn’t do this. He couldn’t. The machine changed pitch and Max looked down to see her hand on the crystal that powered the Granilith. His hand began to tingle, and then his arm, and before he could pull it away, he was sucked into the beast.
Liz looked up at him through the glass, pressing her hand against the surface for one last touch. His hand pressed against hers from the other side, looking at her with tear filled eyes. He dropped down to his knees, trying to stay as close to her as he could.
“I love you,” his choked voice traveled through the glass. “Past, present, always. I’ll never love anyone but you.”
“I never stopped loving you,” Liz closed her eyes briefly, then reopened them, giving him her final goodbye. Their faces were just inches apart, separated by the cold hard glass, preventing him from wiping away the tears that streaked her face. The words she whispered next tore through him like no others, rending his heart into a thousand pieces.
“Don’t forget me.”
The Granilith filled with blinding light, and when it faded moments later, Max was gone. With his departure, the world dimmed and turned to black.
Note: Tomorrow (Friday) night I'll post the final part, and some personal thoughts. Until then, keep this refrain in mind:
Liz isn't always right, and Max isn't always stupid.
-
Breathless
- Addicted Roswellian
- Posts: 254
- Joined: Tue Oct 09, 2001 4:58 pm
- Location: Somewhere in ficland
Downfall Part 11
[img]http://www.webphilia.com/~thesilvereggp ... wnfall.jpg
Banner art by ChrissyP47[/img]
Author: Debbi aka Breathless
Category: Max and Liz
Rating: R for language and adult themes
Author note: This has been the most difficult story I have ever posted and I’m glad tonight’s the last part. I don’t regret writing it, but it has given me sleepless nights. The way Liz was portrayed in the beginning caused more than a few ruffled feathers, but for those of you who have stuck through to the end, I hope you could see beyond what was presented on the surface. In part 4, Max stood in the men’s room of the bar, listening to two men talk about Beth, thinking these thoughts –
Downfall
And I need you
To keep me here
I’m starting over again
Lead me from the fear
And I won’t leave you here
There’s a way out
There’s a way out
There’s a way from here…believe
Lead me from the fear
And I won’t leave you here
There’s a way out
There’s a way out
There’s a way from here…believe
The Fear
Song lyrics by
Trust Company
Part 11
Liz finished fastening the snaps on her uniform and appraised her appearance in the mirror above her dresser. Her hair was getting longer – finally – growing out after that disastrous haircut Maria had given her at the end of 9th grade. Never again would she let a friend cut her hair! She must have lost her mind!
She remembered how Alex laughed at her when he saw the shaggy new do, and even Max had done a double take when he came into the Crashdown right after Maria massacred her hair.
With a sigh, Liz picked up her alien antenna headband and set it firmly on her head. She scolded herself for even thinking about Max, but she couldn’t help it. He’d never shown any interest in her, not really, but just saying his name was enough to make her knees weak.
Max Evans. What a hottie.
But it wasn’t just his looks that attracted her. He was smart, a straight A student like she was, and just as serious about his grades. He was probably going to be a lawyer just like his father, and if she ever served on his jury, she’d definitely vote for his side!
She turned from the mirror, headed down to the restaurant to start her shift, scolding herself for even thinking about Max. He wasn’t interested in her, no matter what Maria said. They’d been biology lab partners all of 9th grade, and never once did he talk to her about anything other than lab rats, or cutting open worms, or the osmosis rate of a cell.
Or today’s special on the Crashdown menu. He did spend a lot of time in the Crash, but that was probably just a coincidence. There weren’t that many greasy spoons in Roswell, and it wasn’t surprising the Crash was a gathering spot for the after school crowd.
She scrambled down the stairs quickly, retrieving her silver apron from her locker and tying it into place, hurrying to join Maria out in the restaurant. All her daydreaming about Max was making her late.
The back door off the alley opened and Liz stopped in her tracks, stunned by the sight of who had just walked through the door, like it was the most natural thing in the world. Since when did Max Evans waltz through the back door of the Crashdown? Had the world just turned upside down?
“Max?” Liz took a hesitant step forward. What was he doing back here? Was he okay? He looked so . . . strange. His hair seemed longer than usual, and he looked a little . . . scruffy? When had Max ever looked scruffy? She didn’t think she’d ever seen him with a five o’clock shadow before. He looked kind of wild and sexy. Whoa! What was she thinking!
“What are you doing back here?” she finally asked, starting to fidget under the intensity of his gaze. Why was he staring at her like that?
“Liz . . .” Max finally managed to say. She looked so young. So innocent. His heart was breaking just looking at her.
“This area’s for employee’s only,” Liz scrunched up her nose. Her stomach was fluttering wildly having him back here, so close, smelling so good – whoa! She should stop thinking those kinds of things! This was Max Evans! The hottest of the hotties. He would never be interested in her.
“I know,” Max bit at his lower lip. Just five more minutes. He only needed five more minutes. In five more minutes everything would change.
It was the last five minutes he would ever spend with her.
“I just –” he stumbled over his words, just like a sixteen year old would. “I was wondering . . . we’re in the same Biology class again this year, and I thought we could be, you know . . . partners again. We made a pretty good team last year. Don’t you think?”
“Well, yeah,” Liz didn’t know what to say. Partners? He wanted to be partners again? He came into the back room just to ask her to be partners again? Why was that making the butterflies in her stomach fly out of control?
“Listen Liz,” Max glanced at his watch, and then took an envelope out of the back pocket of his jeans. “Next time you see me, will you give this back to me?”
“What?” she scrunched her nose again. “You want me to hold this for you and then give it back to you?”
“Yeah,” Max smiled, unable to hide the nervous twitch. He glanced at his watch again.
“Okay,” she stared at the letter, seeing the name Max Evans clearly written in his distinctive handwriting.
“And look,” he dropped his head, looking away from her for a moment in that little boy way that always made Liz melt. But when he looked up at her again, his eyes were so serious it almost chilled her. “When you give it back to me, I might act like I don’t know what it is.”
“What?” Liz looked at him like he was an alien or something. Max was certainly acting weird.
“Just humor me,” Max smiled at her, making her feel giddy inside.
“Okay,” she slid the letter into her apron. “I should probably . . . get to work,” she hitched a thumb over her shoulder, “before Maria comes looking for me. I’m late.”
“I know,” Max bit at his lip again. She started to turn away from him, to go into the Crashdown, but he called her back. “Liz?”
“Yeah?” she looked at him again. She should send him out into the restaurant, before her dad caught him back here. Customers weren’t allowed.
“I just wanted to say . . .” he reached out, tentatively, hesitantly, brushing a loose strand of hair behind her ear.
“Say?” Liz urged him to finish. Had he really just touched her hair?
“You’re beautiful, Liz,” he bit his lower lip again. “I’ve always thought you were beautiful.”
Her mouth fell open, stunned by what she’d just heard. Max thought she was beautiful? Max Evans just said she was beautiful? MAX EVANS?
Just then a loud noise startled her, nearly as much as what Max had just said. Her head whipped in the direction of the door leading into the restaurant, hearing the sounds of screams now, too. What was going on out there? That sounded like a . . . a . . . gunshot? Oh my God! A gunshot? Maria was out there!
“Max!” she turned back quickly to see if he had heard it too, but he wasn’t there. Her eyes swept the backroom, but he was nowhere in sight. Where had he gone?
The door from the restaurant into the backroom slammed open and Max Evans burst through it, looking more scared than any sixteen year old ever should.
“LIZ?” he called out, looking around wildly until he saw her. “Liz! Are you okay?”
“I’m fine! What happened out there?” How’d he get out in the restaurant so fast?
“Some idiot shot off a gun! You didn’t get hurt, did you?” Max looked her up and down, checking for any sign of a wound, or blood. His heart thundered inside his chest at the thought of her being injured. Shot.
“God!” Liz cried out. “Did anyone get hit? MARIA!” She hurried toward the door to the restaurant but Max held up his hand to stop her.
“Nobody got hurt,” he rushed out the words. “The bullet hit the wall but nobody was near it. Maria’s fine. She’s sniffing that bottle she always carries around, though.”
Michael burst through the door into the backroom, looking around with barely controlled panic. He spied Max and hissed, “C’mon! Let’s go!”
“Michael,” Max lowered his voice in warning. “Calm down.” They didn’t do anything wrong. There was no need to panic.
“Calm down? Shit!” Michael slammed his hand into the door again and pushed back into the restaurant.
Max drew in a deep breath, and pointed toward his friend’s departing back. “I better follow him,” he apologized to Liz, “Guns, you know, freak him out.” He smiled weakly at Liz and moved toward the door. He shouldn’t have barged into the back like that, but when the gun went off, all he could think about was Liz.
He was just about to push through the door into the restaurant when something caught his eye. Liz followed the direction of his gaze, right to the envelope sticking half way out of her apron pocket. She lifted her eyes to his, feeling her stomach flutter at the intensity in his amber eyes.
“I, um,” she reached into the pocket of her apron and withdrew the letter. “Do you want this back now?”
“Do I . . .?” Max stared at the envelope in her hand. Did he want it . . . back?
“Yeah,” Liz crinkled her nose. “You told me to hold it until the next time I saw – do you want me to keep it longer? Did you want me to keep it until, like, tomorrow or something?”
Max saw the name – his name – written across the face of the white envelope she was holding in her hand. His name, in his own handwriting. What the hell?
“Where did that . . .?” Max muttered in confusion.
“You gave . . .” she stuttered, pointing toward the back door. He looked different now. He was still wearing that olive green shirt she’d seen him in before. The same color blue jeans, same shoes, but something was different. Maybe it was his hair, not as messy as before, and that five o’clock shadow she thought she saw must have just been caused by the lighting. His face was looking pretty smooth now. She cocked her head a little, thinking he didn’t look as tired now, either.
“I gave you this?” Max reached for the envelope, slowly pulling it from her hand.
A flash hit him, the image of himself handing Liz the envelope, asking her to give it to him later, telling her he might act like he’d never seen it before. This was getting weird.
“That gunshot must have really rattled you,” Liz gave him a nervous smile.
“I guess so,” Max tapped the envelope against the palm of his hand.
She touched him on the arm, giving him a friendly squeeze, and he got another flash. The image of Liz filled his mind, lying on the Crashdown floor, bleeding from a gunshot wound. Dying.
“You’re okay?” his head shot up, once more scared nearly shitless for her safety.
“I told you, I’m fine,” she gave his arm another squeeze and then pulled her hand away.
Maria burst through the door, like a force five hurricane spinning out of control. “LIZ! OH MY GOD! SOMEONE – A GUN – IT HIT THE WALL THIS CLOSE TO MY HEAD!”
Max turned away knowing it wasn’t his place to correct Maria. She’d been in the middle of the restaurant, nowhere near where the bullet hit the wall, but he couldn’t blame her for overreacting. She had every reason to be freaked. His knees were still shaking from the experience . . . or was it because of the way Liz Parker had just touched his arm?
“I better go see how Michael’s doing,” Max backed toward the door to the restaurant.
“Don’t go anywhere!” Maria warned him. “The sheriff is on his way and he wants to talk to everyone.”
“Right,” Max tried to keep his face impassive, as if the thought of the sheriff arriving didn’t scare the shit out of him. He pushed through the door into the restaurant and Michael immediately grabbed his arm.
“Let’s get the hell out of here!” he hissed and tried to pull Max toward the front doors. “The sheriff’s coming –”
“That’s precisely why we have to stay,” Max jerked his arm away from Michael’s grasp. “If we run now, it’ll look suspicious. We didn’t do anything wrong, Michael, so just calm down.”
A police cruiser pulled up in front of the Crashdown with lights flashing, followed by the Sheriff’s appearance a few moments later. Valenti took control of the scene quickly, assessing the situation, motioning for the rattled customers to relax.
“Everyone just take a seat,” Valenti raised his voice over the din of excited and scared people. “We’ll need to get a statement from everyone before we can let you leave, so just relax and sit down.”
Max led a still skittish looking Michael to the booth they’d been sitting in before all hell broke loose. Deputies milled around, beginning to take statements, while Jim Valenti surveyed the spot where the bullet had impacted the wall. Everyone was breathing a sigh of relief that no one had been injured, or shot, in the altercation.
While he waited for a deputy to talk to him and Michael, Max stared down at the envelope in his hand, tracing his finger over the familiar handwriting. How could Liz have a letter, addressed to him, in his own handwriting, without him knowing anything about it? And what did those flashes mean? Why had he seen Liz lying on the floor, dying from a gunshot wound? Why had he seen himself handing Liz a letter, when he knew he’d never done that? He knew he should probably wait until he was alone to open it, but his curiosity was too strong. He turned the letter over and slipped his finger under the seal.
Max slipped a tri-folded piece of paper out and carefully unfolded it, with his eyes growing wide at the sight of his own neat handwriting filling the page. He read the first words – and then his world began to spin . . .
Max,
If my plan worked, you’re probably sitting in the Crashdown right now with a pretty freaked out Michael sitting across from you –
Max looked up quickly, shooting his eyes around the Crashdown, looking to see if anyone was staring at him. Whoever had written this, must know him, and Michael, and probably Isabel. He felt exposed, but he couldn’t see anyone staring at him, or looking suspicious. What the hell was going on? He looked down at the letter again, almost afraid to read.
You’re probably asking how I know that, and the answer is simple. I know everything about you. I know you’re an alien, from the ’47 crash –
Max looked up again, with the color draining out of his face. Jesus Christ, somebody was on to him! Suddenly his decision to stay in the Crashdown seemed like a really bad one.
“What?” Michael frowned at him, eyeing the letter in Max’s hand. “What’s the matter?”
“Nothing,” Max said hurriedly. Now was not the time to freak Michael out even more than he already was. He dropped his eyes down to the letter again.
I know your sister Isabel and your best friend Michael are aliens, too. I even know that you’re in love with Liz Parker, but you’re too afraid to let her know.
Max looked up again, watching Liz across the restaurant, standing next to Maria, supporting her best friend while she gave her report to Deputy Hanson. How many times had he dreamed about telling her the truth? How many times had he wished he could take her in his arms and kiss her? How many times had he wished he wasn’t so . . . different.
How can I know all these things? By now, you’ve recognized this handwriting as your own, with good reason. I am you.
What? Max turned the envelope over, looking for any kind of postmark, or return address, anything that might give an indication where this letter came from. The envelope was blank though, except for his name, clearly written . . . in his own handwriting.
Yes, you read that right. I am you. Max Evans. Alien/Human hybrid, living on Planet Earth. You don’t have a clue as to why you’re here, and believe me; you’re better off not knowing. The truth led to our downfall, and though I’d like nothing better than to shield you from it, I know I can’t. You can’t change the future if you don’t know about the past.
On this day in history, my history, Liz Parker was shot in the Crashdown and I saved her life. As a consequence, our safe, sheltered existence was exposed. Lay your hand upon this page, and you will see the things I’ve seen.
Max, totally engrossed in the words he was reading, did as he was instructed. He spread his fingers apart, pressed his hand flat against the letter, and opened up his mind. A series of flashes surged through him, shaking him to the core.
A hand pressed against a bloody wound. A confession in a band room. A connection on a balcony. A kiss.
Max lifted his hand when the flashes faded, hiding his gasp of astonishment from Michael. Were those things real? He glanced up at Liz, still feeling a remnant of her kiss on his lips. Were her lips really that soft? His eyes quickly returned to the letter, needing to read the rest.
These are the only things that are important. You are part alien, but you are also part human. Embrace that human side because it’s all that is real. The alien side of you can only lead to pain, and ultimately death.
Give up your quest to find where you came from. It’s a place you don’t want to go back to. You were the pawn in an intergalactic power play with the rules stacked against you from the start. It led to your ruin, and the death of everything you held dear.
I came back through time to correct the mistakes I made, so that you could live the life you should have had. I have eliminated your enemies, those who led to the downfall of the world I know. I have killed, so you won’t have to. I have eradicated all the evidence that could point to your past, so that I could protect your future.
This world you live in doesn’t know you exist. I’ve used all the powers I possess to make the world you came from believe you perished long ago. Let those beliefs endure. The life you lived in the past ended badly, leaving death and destruction in its wake. The life you live now doesn’t have to end that way.
Hide your secrets from the world, but not from those you love. Your parents will embrace who you are, and love you even more. Telling them will only bring you closer, and it will fulfill your sister’s deepest wish.
Share this information with Michael. A better life awaits him here than anything he could find anywhere else. With the help of the right people, you might be surprised by how quickly he accepts his human side. Good friends are about to enter your life, friends who will accept you and protect you, friends you might find in the most unexpected of places.
Another series of flashes hit him, nearly knocking the breath out of him.
Laughing with Kyle Valenti while they stumbled down the street in the dark. Sitting next to Maria Deluca, dropping his mouth open in surprise when she hits him over the head with a book. Snickering with good humor as Alex Whitman does a striptease in front of Isabel. Behind the doors of the eraser room, raging desire flooding though him, locked in a passionate kiss with the dark haired girl of his dreams.
The heat and the accompanying emotion of the kiss surge though Max as the flash suddenly ended. He’d always thought it was impossible, that she could never feel that way about him, but the letter in front of him was confirming his wildest dreams.
And if you give her a chance, Liz Parker will give you more love than you can ever imagine.
She will protect you with her life. She will sacrifice herself to keep you safe. She will love you with every part of her heart. She is the greatest love you will ever know, but know this: You have the power to crush her, to break her, to tear her apart.
Don’t ever doubt her. Don’t ever question her love for you. Don’t ever let her go. Your life will be nothing without her, and everything with her. Of all the things I have seen and done, lived and died for, there is one unalienable truth. Max Evans and Liz Parker were always meant to be together, like it was written in the stars.
The future is now yours to make. I’ve done all that I can. I have only one final thing to say.
Listen to what your heart tells you.
Just as Max finished reading the letter, the words began to fade from the paper. In moments, he held in his hand nothing but a blank page. If he doubted the message as he read it, all doubt faded from him now. He accepted the words that now existed only in his mind, committed to memory along with the images he had seen.
“So what the hell does it say?” Michael stared at the letter in Max’s hand.
“Nothing,” Max slipped the paper back into the envelope. “Just . . . nothing.”
Max wasn’t ready to share any of this yet. He needed time to think about what he’d read. He needed time to assess the flashes he had seen. He simply needed more time, which ironically, is exactly what the man who wrote the letter had given him. Time.
“Can I get your names, boys?” Sheriff Valenti suddenly appeared at the end of their booth, with a notepad open in his hand.
“Max Evans,” Max told him, keeping a respectful tone in his voice.
“Michael Guerin,” Michael grumbled.
“Did you boys see anything?” Valenti gave them both the once over.
“No,” Max shook his head. “I was eatin’ a hamburger, and when the gun went off, I ducked under the table. I heard somebody run out the door, but I was hiding.”
“What about you, Mr. Guerin?” Valenti asked.
“Same,” Michael shrugged his shoulders. “I was eatin’ his French fries,” he pointed at Max. “When I heard the gunshot I hit the deck. All I heard was a lot of commotion, but I didn’t see anything.”
“Well, thanks boys,” Valenti folded up his notebook. “If you think of anything else, just give the station a call. You can both go home now.” The Sheriff tipped his hat and stepped back from the booth.
“Thank you, Sheriff,” Max watched him go. He felt a strange sense of comradery sweep over him for a man who up until now he’d been scared to death of, which was unsettling, but oddly left him feeling comforted. Protected. He slid out of the booth deep in thought, making his way to the Crashdown doors with Michael on his heels. The closer Max got to the exit, the slower he walked, until he came to a stop.
“What the hell ya doing?” Michael skirted around Max, almost knocking him over. “Let’s go.”
“Here,” Max held his keys out to him. “Take the jeep. I’ll catch up with you later.”
“What are you –” Michael followed his line of sight, narrowing his eyes when he saw who Max was staring at. “You can’t.”
“I am,” Max took a step toward Liz.
Michael’s hand closed around Max’s bicep, trying to keep him from breaking a rule the three of them had made years ago.
“Let go of me,” Max stared at Michael’s hand, then up to his face.
Michael saw something in the depth of Max’s eyes that he’d never seen before. He wasn’t even sure if he could give it a name. Determination? Confidence? Stubbornness? Or was it a new found strength, a force of will Michael couldn’t challenge? In that moment, as they silently battled for control, Michael knew he wasn’t going to win this one. His hand fell away.
“I’ll see you later,” Max said in parting and walked away, straight toward Liz.
As he neared her, a paramedic came and led a still shaken Maria to a chair to check her vitals, just as a precaution. It left Liz standing alone, hugging her arms around herself, obviously still upset by what had happened here. As he stepped closer, she turned to look at him, and the brief smile she quickly hid made his stomach grumble.
“Hey,” she let out a breath. “You’re still here.”
“Yeah,” Max dipped his head a little. He didn’t really know what to say to her, except, “I’m glad nobody got hurt.”
“Me, too.”
He shifted his weight from one foot to the other, drawing on the courage the letter had instilled in him. “I was thinking . . . when they’re done here,” he pointed vaguely at the deputies milling around the restaurant, “maybe we could go down to Haley’s Comet and get an ice cream or something.”
“Haley’s?” Liz looked at him dumbstruck. Was he asking her to go to Haley’s . . . like, on a date or something?
“Yeah,” his smile lit up his face, making her knees weak. Max Evans never smiled enough, but when he did, oh mama! “Then maybe we could take a walk in the park, and, you know, talk about . . . things.”
Liz stared at him, momentarily forgetting how to speak. Max Evans was asking her out? Max Evans was asking her out? It was just ice cream in the park on a late afternoon, but it was a start!
“Say yes,” Maria hissed at her from a few feet away. “Say yes!”
“Yes!” Liz blurted out, and then her cheeks turned beet red.
“Good!” Max smiled, even wider than before. “Great!”
Maria tugged on the Sheriff’s jacket while the paramedic checked her blood pressure. Jim turned around and looked at her with a questioning expression on his face.
“Can they go now?” Maria asked the Sheriff while pointing at Max and Liz.
“Maria! Hush!” Liz scolded, turning a thousand shades of red. Max ducked his head, but he couldn’t hide his smile.
“Sure,” Jim waved the kids off, with a smile breaking over his usually tough features. He thought Kyle was sure missing the boat by letting Liz get away, but just this morning he’d heard his son say ‘scientists weren’t really his thing’. Oh well, young love was fleeting, and rarely lasted for long.
“Go change!” Maria urged Liz in a loud whisper.
“No,” Max held up his hand to keep Liz from running upstairs. “You don’t have to do that. You look cute in your uniform. I mean –” his eyes grew wide and his cheeks started to burn, “you look nice the way you are.”
Liz gaped at him. Cute? He said she looked cute? Oh My GOD!
“Smooth one, Max,” Jim Valenti smiled as he passed behind the boy.
“Well, okay,” Liz stuttered again. “Then, I guess we can just . . . go.” She untied her apron and set it on a table, just so she wouldn’t feel like a total geek.
“Wait,” he grabbed her hand when she started to walk to the door. She stopped and looked at him, with her eyes wide and dark, and he felt his stomach grumble again. “I think you can probably leave this here, too,” his eyes sparkled with humor as he reached for her antenna headband and pulled it from her hair.
“Oh my god,” Liz covered her burning face with her hands. She was the queen of all geeks.
“Her blood pressure is pretty high,” the paramedic said, taking the cuff off Maria’s arm. “Maybe we should transport this one, just to be on the safe side.”
“Oh don’t be silly,” Maria grabbed her cedar oil and waved it under her nose. She wasn’t going anywhere. Max Evans was taking her best friend for a walk, and she wasn’t going to miss a single minute of this fabulous turn of events. She watched Max lead Liz to the front doors, with his hand on the small of her back, in the most gentlemanly of ways.
“About damn time,” Maria said to no one in particular. She re-capped her cedar oil and slipped it into the pocket of her apron while she walked to the window, spying on her childhood friend walking down the sidewalk with the man of her dreams.
She could see Max darting those special little looks in Liz’s direction when he thought she wasn’t looking. She could see Liz biting on her lower lip trying to hide her nervous smile. She could see the way their arms brushed together as they walked, with their hands almost touching.
For Maria, the picture was clear to see. She didn’t need a psychic, she didn’t need a set of tarot cards, and she certainly didn’t need a crystal ball.
Max Evans and Liz Parker were about to fall madly in love, and this time there was nothing, and no one, to stand in their way.
This time, the stars were smiling on them.
Sometimes the road you travel
Is full of twists and turns
And sometimes choosing the right path
Is difficult to discern
Sometimes you end up regretting
The direction that you take
And sometimes you end up suffering
For the choices that you make
Sometimes you’re lost in the darkness
Stumbling your way through the night
And sometimes you fear for the future
That things will never be right
But sometimes the light in the distance
Can guide you to that special place
Where everything’s warm and inviting
Wrapped up in a loving embrace
Because sometimes your heart can be broken
And sometimes your life can be sad
But sometimes, if you’re very lucky
Good things can come out of bad.
Untitled
By Breathless
Back with a postscript:
I wrote this story while watching season 2 and 3 play out on TV recently, and I must confess it made me as angry and irritated as the first time.
On the show, Max had one driving desire that he focused on in season 3, which was finding his son. In Downfall, I changed that focus to Liz. He spent years tracking her down, giving up any kind of ‘life’ of his own, focusing exclusively on her.
On the show, Liz could be just as single minded. When Alex died, she was the only one who believed it was murder. She was right, of course, but the way she went about it she pretty much shut herself off from everyone else, even Maria. She was so sure in her beliefs that she wouldn’t listen to anyone else. She took it all on herself, causing riffs in her relationships with all her friends.
In Downfall, Liz found out early on that the end of the world was indeed still going to happen, and she took that responsibility all onto herself, blaming her actions for causing it. She became single minded in her solution, convincing herself that her death was the only way to set the future right. She shut down her emotions, just as she did after Alex died, knowing that it was the only way she could face what she felt she had to do.
Liz’s descent into booze and men was two fold. Liz knew that the only way she could follow through with her plan was by turning off all her emotions. She lived in a world without hope. But she also knew that if/when Max found her, it would be impossible for her to keep her emotions closed off. Her love for him was too strong, always had been, always would be, and seeing him she knew he would make her feel again, and give her hope, and she couldn’t afford that. The only way to make sure Max wouldn’t stop her plan was to make sure Max couldn’t love her anymore. Who could love a whore? Her lifestyle became a self-fulfilling prophecy. She turned to alcohol and men to shut off her emotions, and being a drunken slut meant Max would never want her, thus she had no need for emotions.
Being a drunk alone would never accomplish this. Drunks can be fixed, healed, redeemed, forgiven, but whores are morally repugnant, unworthy of forgiveness. Based on their past history, Liz knew her moral impurity would be unforgivable, and Max could never love her again, or want to dissuade her from her plan. She would be dead to him already because of what she had turned into. This was where Liz was wrong. Max’s love for her, slut and all, was so strong that it didn’t matter what kind of life she’d lived.
Max, of course, couldn’t go through with her plan to sacrifice her life. The only viable option was to eliminate everyone else who could cause them harm. Tess, Nasedo, the Skins, the Dupes. A little well placed mind control and Max could make that nasty little Nicholas tell Kivar the King was dead, no need to invade a backwater planet like Earth anymore. As far as Cal Langley goes, he was never a threat. He wanted to be left alone and had no interest in Max.
The ‘deaths’ of future Max and future Liz was tragic, but in truth, they were too damaged to rekindle that mythical ‘soulmate’ connection. (Even though many of you diehard dreamers wanted them to.)
Only through their self-sacrificing could the magic rise up from the ashes. Only by going back to the beginning could the word soulmate be given a chance to live again, uncorrupted, unsoiled, and untainted.
The end of the world in Downfall can best be equated to my feelings about the end of Roswell. It sunk into the quagmire, lost its direction and focus when Max turned away from Liz and “fucked his world all to hell”. When he slept with Tess the show lost all its magic, and it’s only when we recycle back to season 1 that we get the magic back again.
Banner art by ChrissyP47[/img]
Author: Debbi aka Breathless
Category: Max and Liz
Rating: R for language and adult themes
Author note: This has been the most difficult story I have ever posted and I’m glad tonight’s the last part. I don’t regret writing it, but it has given me sleepless nights. The way Liz was portrayed in the beginning caused more than a few ruffled feathers, but for those of you who have stuck through to the end, I hope you could see beyond what was presented on the surface. In part 4, Max stood in the men’s room of the bar, listening to two men talk about Beth, thinking these thoughts –
Liz wasn’t just an alcoholic whore as some people noted, but a woman haunted by the past and tormented by the future. I’ll post this final part now, and then come back to add some of my thoughts.Couldn’t any of them see how much she was hurting? Couldn’t they see the pain in her eyes?
Downfall
And I need you
To keep me here
I’m starting over again
Lead me from the fear
And I won’t leave you here
There’s a way out
There’s a way out
There’s a way from here…believe
Lead me from the fear
And I won’t leave you here
There’s a way out
There’s a way out
There’s a way from here…believe
The Fear
Song lyrics by
Trust Company
Part 11
Liz finished fastening the snaps on her uniform and appraised her appearance in the mirror above her dresser. Her hair was getting longer – finally – growing out after that disastrous haircut Maria had given her at the end of 9th grade. Never again would she let a friend cut her hair! She must have lost her mind!
She remembered how Alex laughed at her when he saw the shaggy new do, and even Max had done a double take when he came into the Crashdown right after Maria massacred her hair.
With a sigh, Liz picked up her alien antenna headband and set it firmly on her head. She scolded herself for even thinking about Max, but she couldn’t help it. He’d never shown any interest in her, not really, but just saying his name was enough to make her knees weak.
Max Evans. What a hottie.
But it wasn’t just his looks that attracted her. He was smart, a straight A student like she was, and just as serious about his grades. He was probably going to be a lawyer just like his father, and if she ever served on his jury, she’d definitely vote for his side!
She turned from the mirror, headed down to the restaurant to start her shift, scolding herself for even thinking about Max. He wasn’t interested in her, no matter what Maria said. They’d been biology lab partners all of 9th grade, and never once did he talk to her about anything other than lab rats, or cutting open worms, or the osmosis rate of a cell.
Or today’s special on the Crashdown menu. He did spend a lot of time in the Crash, but that was probably just a coincidence. There weren’t that many greasy spoons in Roswell, and it wasn’t surprising the Crash was a gathering spot for the after school crowd.
She scrambled down the stairs quickly, retrieving her silver apron from her locker and tying it into place, hurrying to join Maria out in the restaurant. All her daydreaming about Max was making her late.
The back door off the alley opened and Liz stopped in her tracks, stunned by the sight of who had just walked through the door, like it was the most natural thing in the world. Since when did Max Evans waltz through the back door of the Crashdown? Had the world just turned upside down?
“Max?” Liz took a hesitant step forward. What was he doing back here? Was he okay? He looked so . . . strange. His hair seemed longer than usual, and he looked a little . . . scruffy? When had Max ever looked scruffy? She didn’t think she’d ever seen him with a five o’clock shadow before. He looked kind of wild and sexy. Whoa! What was she thinking!
“What are you doing back here?” she finally asked, starting to fidget under the intensity of his gaze. Why was he staring at her like that?
“Liz . . .” Max finally managed to say. She looked so young. So innocent. His heart was breaking just looking at her.
“This area’s for employee’s only,” Liz scrunched up her nose. Her stomach was fluttering wildly having him back here, so close, smelling so good – whoa! She should stop thinking those kinds of things! This was Max Evans! The hottest of the hotties. He would never be interested in her.
“I know,” Max bit at his lower lip. Just five more minutes. He only needed five more minutes. In five more minutes everything would change.
It was the last five minutes he would ever spend with her.
“I just –” he stumbled over his words, just like a sixteen year old would. “I was wondering . . . we’re in the same Biology class again this year, and I thought we could be, you know . . . partners again. We made a pretty good team last year. Don’t you think?”
“Well, yeah,” Liz didn’t know what to say. Partners? He wanted to be partners again? He came into the back room just to ask her to be partners again? Why was that making the butterflies in her stomach fly out of control?
“Listen Liz,” Max glanced at his watch, and then took an envelope out of the back pocket of his jeans. “Next time you see me, will you give this back to me?”
“What?” she scrunched her nose again. “You want me to hold this for you and then give it back to you?”
“Yeah,” Max smiled, unable to hide the nervous twitch. He glanced at his watch again.
“Okay,” she stared at the letter, seeing the name Max Evans clearly written in his distinctive handwriting.
“And look,” he dropped his head, looking away from her for a moment in that little boy way that always made Liz melt. But when he looked up at her again, his eyes were so serious it almost chilled her. “When you give it back to me, I might act like I don’t know what it is.”
“What?” Liz looked at him like he was an alien or something. Max was certainly acting weird.
“Just humor me,” Max smiled at her, making her feel giddy inside.
“Okay,” she slid the letter into her apron. “I should probably . . . get to work,” she hitched a thumb over her shoulder, “before Maria comes looking for me. I’m late.”
“I know,” Max bit at his lip again. She started to turn away from him, to go into the Crashdown, but he called her back. “Liz?”
“Yeah?” she looked at him again. She should send him out into the restaurant, before her dad caught him back here. Customers weren’t allowed.
“I just wanted to say . . .” he reached out, tentatively, hesitantly, brushing a loose strand of hair behind her ear.
“Say?” Liz urged him to finish. Had he really just touched her hair?
“You’re beautiful, Liz,” he bit his lower lip again. “I’ve always thought you were beautiful.”
Her mouth fell open, stunned by what she’d just heard. Max thought she was beautiful? Max Evans just said she was beautiful? MAX EVANS?
Just then a loud noise startled her, nearly as much as what Max had just said. Her head whipped in the direction of the door leading into the restaurant, hearing the sounds of screams now, too. What was going on out there? That sounded like a . . . a . . . gunshot? Oh my God! A gunshot? Maria was out there!
“Max!” she turned back quickly to see if he had heard it too, but he wasn’t there. Her eyes swept the backroom, but he was nowhere in sight. Where had he gone?
The door from the restaurant into the backroom slammed open and Max Evans burst through it, looking more scared than any sixteen year old ever should.
“LIZ?” he called out, looking around wildly until he saw her. “Liz! Are you okay?”
“I’m fine! What happened out there?” How’d he get out in the restaurant so fast?
“Some idiot shot off a gun! You didn’t get hurt, did you?” Max looked her up and down, checking for any sign of a wound, or blood. His heart thundered inside his chest at the thought of her being injured. Shot.
“God!” Liz cried out. “Did anyone get hit? MARIA!” She hurried toward the door to the restaurant but Max held up his hand to stop her.
“Nobody got hurt,” he rushed out the words. “The bullet hit the wall but nobody was near it. Maria’s fine. She’s sniffing that bottle she always carries around, though.”
Michael burst through the door into the backroom, looking around with barely controlled panic. He spied Max and hissed, “C’mon! Let’s go!”
“Michael,” Max lowered his voice in warning. “Calm down.” They didn’t do anything wrong. There was no need to panic.
“Calm down? Shit!” Michael slammed his hand into the door again and pushed back into the restaurant.
Max drew in a deep breath, and pointed toward his friend’s departing back. “I better follow him,” he apologized to Liz, “Guns, you know, freak him out.” He smiled weakly at Liz and moved toward the door. He shouldn’t have barged into the back like that, but when the gun went off, all he could think about was Liz.
He was just about to push through the door into the restaurant when something caught his eye. Liz followed the direction of his gaze, right to the envelope sticking half way out of her apron pocket. She lifted her eyes to his, feeling her stomach flutter at the intensity in his amber eyes.
“I, um,” she reached into the pocket of her apron and withdrew the letter. “Do you want this back now?”
“Do I . . .?” Max stared at the envelope in her hand. Did he want it . . . back?
“Yeah,” Liz crinkled her nose. “You told me to hold it until the next time I saw – do you want me to keep it longer? Did you want me to keep it until, like, tomorrow or something?”
Max saw the name – his name – written across the face of the white envelope she was holding in her hand. His name, in his own handwriting. What the hell?
“Where did that . . .?” Max muttered in confusion.
“You gave . . .” she stuttered, pointing toward the back door. He looked different now. He was still wearing that olive green shirt she’d seen him in before. The same color blue jeans, same shoes, but something was different. Maybe it was his hair, not as messy as before, and that five o’clock shadow she thought she saw must have just been caused by the lighting. His face was looking pretty smooth now. She cocked her head a little, thinking he didn’t look as tired now, either.
“I gave you this?” Max reached for the envelope, slowly pulling it from her hand.
A flash hit him, the image of himself handing Liz the envelope, asking her to give it to him later, telling her he might act like he’d never seen it before. This was getting weird.
“That gunshot must have really rattled you,” Liz gave him a nervous smile.
“I guess so,” Max tapped the envelope against the palm of his hand.
She touched him on the arm, giving him a friendly squeeze, and he got another flash. The image of Liz filled his mind, lying on the Crashdown floor, bleeding from a gunshot wound. Dying.
“You’re okay?” his head shot up, once more scared nearly shitless for her safety.
“I told you, I’m fine,” she gave his arm another squeeze and then pulled her hand away.
Maria burst through the door, like a force five hurricane spinning out of control. “LIZ! OH MY GOD! SOMEONE – A GUN – IT HIT THE WALL THIS CLOSE TO MY HEAD!”
Max turned away knowing it wasn’t his place to correct Maria. She’d been in the middle of the restaurant, nowhere near where the bullet hit the wall, but he couldn’t blame her for overreacting. She had every reason to be freaked. His knees were still shaking from the experience . . . or was it because of the way Liz Parker had just touched his arm?
“I better go see how Michael’s doing,” Max backed toward the door to the restaurant.
“Don’t go anywhere!” Maria warned him. “The sheriff is on his way and he wants to talk to everyone.”
“Right,” Max tried to keep his face impassive, as if the thought of the sheriff arriving didn’t scare the shit out of him. He pushed through the door into the restaurant and Michael immediately grabbed his arm.
“Let’s get the hell out of here!” he hissed and tried to pull Max toward the front doors. “The sheriff’s coming –”
“That’s precisely why we have to stay,” Max jerked his arm away from Michael’s grasp. “If we run now, it’ll look suspicious. We didn’t do anything wrong, Michael, so just calm down.”
A police cruiser pulled up in front of the Crashdown with lights flashing, followed by the Sheriff’s appearance a few moments later. Valenti took control of the scene quickly, assessing the situation, motioning for the rattled customers to relax.
“Everyone just take a seat,” Valenti raised his voice over the din of excited and scared people. “We’ll need to get a statement from everyone before we can let you leave, so just relax and sit down.”
Max led a still skittish looking Michael to the booth they’d been sitting in before all hell broke loose. Deputies milled around, beginning to take statements, while Jim Valenti surveyed the spot where the bullet had impacted the wall. Everyone was breathing a sigh of relief that no one had been injured, or shot, in the altercation.
While he waited for a deputy to talk to him and Michael, Max stared down at the envelope in his hand, tracing his finger over the familiar handwriting. How could Liz have a letter, addressed to him, in his own handwriting, without him knowing anything about it? And what did those flashes mean? Why had he seen Liz lying on the floor, dying from a gunshot wound? Why had he seen himself handing Liz a letter, when he knew he’d never done that? He knew he should probably wait until he was alone to open it, but his curiosity was too strong. He turned the letter over and slipped his finger under the seal.
Max slipped a tri-folded piece of paper out and carefully unfolded it, with his eyes growing wide at the sight of his own neat handwriting filling the page. He read the first words – and then his world began to spin . . .
Max,
If my plan worked, you’re probably sitting in the Crashdown right now with a pretty freaked out Michael sitting across from you –
Max looked up quickly, shooting his eyes around the Crashdown, looking to see if anyone was staring at him. Whoever had written this, must know him, and Michael, and probably Isabel. He felt exposed, but he couldn’t see anyone staring at him, or looking suspicious. What the hell was going on? He looked down at the letter again, almost afraid to read.
You’re probably asking how I know that, and the answer is simple. I know everything about you. I know you’re an alien, from the ’47 crash –
Max looked up again, with the color draining out of his face. Jesus Christ, somebody was on to him! Suddenly his decision to stay in the Crashdown seemed like a really bad one.
“What?” Michael frowned at him, eyeing the letter in Max’s hand. “What’s the matter?”
“Nothing,” Max said hurriedly. Now was not the time to freak Michael out even more than he already was. He dropped his eyes down to the letter again.
I know your sister Isabel and your best friend Michael are aliens, too. I even know that you’re in love with Liz Parker, but you’re too afraid to let her know.
Max looked up again, watching Liz across the restaurant, standing next to Maria, supporting her best friend while she gave her report to Deputy Hanson. How many times had he dreamed about telling her the truth? How many times had he wished he could take her in his arms and kiss her? How many times had he wished he wasn’t so . . . different.
How can I know all these things? By now, you’ve recognized this handwriting as your own, with good reason. I am you.
What? Max turned the envelope over, looking for any kind of postmark, or return address, anything that might give an indication where this letter came from. The envelope was blank though, except for his name, clearly written . . . in his own handwriting.
Yes, you read that right. I am you. Max Evans. Alien/Human hybrid, living on Planet Earth. You don’t have a clue as to why you’re here, and believe me; you’re better off not knowing. The truth led to our downfall, and though I’d like nothing better than to shield you from it, I know I can’t. You can’t change the future if you don’t know about the past.
On this day in history, my history, Liz Parker was shot in the Crashdown and I saved her life. As a consequence, our safe, sheltered existence was exposed. Lay your hand upon this page, and you will see the things I’ve seen.
Max, totally engrossed in the words he was reading, did as he was instructed. He spread his fingers apart, pressed his hand flat against the letter, and opened up his mind. A series of flashes surged through him, shaking him to the core.
A hand pressed against a bloody wound. A confession in a band room. A connection on a balcony. A kiss.
Max lifted his hand when the flashes faded, hiding his gasp of astonishment from Michael. Were those things real? He glanced up at Liz, still feeling a remnant of her kiss on his lips. Were her lips really that soft? His eyes quickly returned to the letter, needing to read the rest.
These are the only things that are important. You are part alien, but you are also part human. Embrace that human side because it’s all that is real. The alien side of you can only lead to pain, and ultimately death.
Give up your quest to find where you came from. It’s a place you don’t want to go back to. You were the pawn in an intergalactic power play with the rules stacked against you from the start. It led to your ruin, and the death of everything you held dear.
I came back through time to correct the mistakes I made, so that you could live the life you should have had. I have eliminated your enemies, those who led to the downfall of the world I know. I have killed, so you won’t have to. I have eradicated all the evidence that could point to your past, so that I could protect your future.
This world you live in doesn’t know you exist. I’ve used all the powers I possess to make the world you came from believe you perished long ago. Let those beliefs endure. The life you lived in the past ended badly, leaving death and destruction in its wake. The life you live now doesn’t have to end that way.
Hide your secrets from the world, but not from those you love. Your parents will embrace who you are, and love you even more. Telling them will only bring you closer, and it will fulfill your sister’s deepest wish.
Share this information with Michael. A better life awaits him here than anything he could find anywhere else. With the help of the right people, you might be surprised by how quickly he accepts his human side. Good friends are about to enter your life, friends who will accept you and protect you, friends you might find in the most unexpected of places.
Another series of flashes hit him, nearly knocking the breath out of him.
Laughing with Kyle Valenti while they stumbled down the street in the dark. Sitting next to Maria Deluca, dropping his mouth open in surprise when she hits him over the head with a book. Snickering with good humor as Alex Whitman does a striptease in front of Isabel. Behind the doors of the eraser room, raging desire flooding though him, locked in a passionate kiss with the dark haired girl of his dreams.
The heat and the accompanying emotion of the kiss surge though Max as the flash suddenly ended. He’d always thought it was impossible, that she could never feel that way about him, but the letter in front of him was confirming his wildest dreams.
And if you give her a chance, Liz Parker will give you more love than you can ever imagine.
She will protect you with her life. She will sacrifice herself to keep you safe. She will love you with every part of her heart. She is the greatest love you will ever know, but know this: You have the power to crush her, to break her, to tear her apart.
Don’t ever doubt her. Don’t ever question her love for you. Don’t ever let her go. Your life will be nothing without her, and everything with her. Of all the things I have seen and done, lived and died for, there is one unalienable truth. Max Evans and Liz Parker were always meant to be together, like it was written in the stars.
The future is now yours to make. I’ve done all that I can. I have only one final thing to say.
Listen to what your heart tells you.
Just as Max finished reading the letter, the words began to fade from the paper. In moments, he held in his hand nothing but a blank page. If he doubted the message as he read it, all doubt faded from him now. He accepted the words that now existed only in his mind, committed to memory along with the images he had seen.
“So what the hell does it say?” Michael stared at the letter in Max’s hand.
“Nothing,” Max slipped the paper back into the envelope. “Just . . . nothing.”
Max wasn’t ready to share any of this yet. He needed time to think about what he’d read. He needed time to assess the flashes he had seen. He simply needed more time, which ironically, is exactly what the man who wrote the letter had given him. Time.
“Can I get your names, boys?” Sheriff Valenti suddenly appeared at the end of their booth, with a notepad open in his hand.
“Max Evans,” Max told him, keeping a respectful tone in his voice.
“Michael Guerin,” Michael grumbled.
“Did you boys see anything?” Valenti gave them both the once over.
“No,” Max shook his head. “I was eatin’ a hamburger, and when the gun went off, I ducked under the table. I heard somebody run out the door, but I was hiding.”
“What about you, Mr. Guerin?” Valenti asked.
“Same,” Michael shrugged his shoulders. “I was eatin’ his French fries,” he pointed at Max. “When I heard the gunshot I hit the deck. All I heard was a lot of commotion, but I didn’t see anything.”
“Well, thanks boys,” Valenti folded up his notebook. “If you think of anything else, just give the station a call. You can both go home now.” The Sheriff tipped his hat and stepped back from the booth.
“Thank you, Sheriff,” Max watched him go. He felt a strange sense of comradery sweep over him for a man who up until now he’d been scared to death of, which was unsettling, but oddly left him feeling comforted. Protected. He slid out of the booth deep in thought, making his way to the Crashdown doors with Michael on his heels. The closer Max got to the exit, the slower he walked, until he came to a stop.
“What the hell ya doing?” Michael skirted around Max, almost knocking him over. “Let’s go.”
“Here,” Max held his keys out to him. “Take the jeep. I’ll catch up with you later.”
“What are you –” Michael followed his line of sight, narrowing his eyes when he saw who Max was staring at. “You can’t.”
“I am,” Max took a step toward Liz.
Michael’s hand closed around Max’s bicep, trying to keep him from breaking a rule the three of them had made years ago.
“Let go of me,” Max stared at Michael’s hand, then up to his face.
Michael saw something in the depth of Max’s eyes that he’d never seen before. He wasn’t even sure if he could give it a name. Determination? Confidence? Stubbornness? Or was it a new found strength, a force of will Michael couldn’t challenge? In that moment, as they silently battled for control, Michael knew he wasn’t going to win this one. His hand fell away.
“I’ll see you later,” Max said in parting and walked away, straight toward Liz.
As he neared her, a paramedic came and led a still shaken Maria to a chair to check her vitals, just as a precaution. It left Liz standing alone, hugging her arms around herself, obviously still upset by what had happened here. As he stepped closer, she turned to look at him, and the brief smile she quickly hid made his stomach grumble.
“Hey,” she let out a breath. “You’re still here.”
“Yeah,” Max dipped his head a little. He didn’t really know what to say to her, except, “I’m glad nobody got hurt.”
“Me, too.”
He shifted his weight from one foot to the other, drawing on the courage the letter had instilled in him. “I was thinking . . . when they’re done here,” he pointed vaguely at the deputies milling around the restaurant, “maybe we could go down to Haley’s Comet and get an ice cream or something.”
“Haley’s?” Liz looked at him dumbstruck. Was he asking her to go to Haley’s . . . like, on a date or something?
“Yeah,” his smile lit up his face, making her knees weak. Max Evans never smiled enough, but when he did, oh mama! “Then maybe we could take a walk in the park, and, you know, talk about . . . things.”
Liz stared at him, momentarily forgetting how to speak. Max Evans was asking her out? Max Evans was asking her out? It was just ice cream in the park on a late afternoon, but it was a start!
“Say yes,” Maria hissed at her from a few feet away. “Say yes!”
“Yes!” Liz blurted out, and then her cheeks turned beet red.
“Good!” Max smiled, even wider than before. “Great!”
Maria tugged on the Sheriff’s jacket while the paramedic checked her blood pressure. Jim turned around and looked at her with a questioning expression on his face.
“Can they go now?” Maria asked the Sheriff while pointing at Max and Liz.
“Maria! Hush!” Liz scolded, turning a thousand shades of red. Max ducked his head, but he couldn’t hide his smile.
“Sure,” Jim waved the kids off, with a smile breaking over his usually tough features. He thought Kyle was sure missing the boat by letting Liz get away, but just this morning he’d heard his son say ‘scientists weren’t really his thing’. Oh well, young love was fleeting, and rarely lasted for long.
“Go change!” Maria urged Liz in a loud whisper.
“No,” Max held up his hand to keep Liz from running upstairs. “You don’t have to do that. You look cute in your uniform. I mean –” his eyes grew wide and his cheeks started to burn, “you look nice the way you are.”
Liz gaped at him. Cute? He said she looked cute? Oh My GOD!
“Smooth one, Max,” Jim Valenti smiled as he passed behind the boy.
“Well, okay,” Liz stuttered again. “Then, I guess we can just . . . go.” She untied her apron and set it on a table, just so she wouldn’t feel like a total geek.
“Wait,” he grabbed her hand when she started to walk to the door. She stopped and looked at him, with her eyes wide and dark, and he felt his stomach grumble again. “I think you can probably leave this here, too,” his eyes sparkled with humor as he reached for her antenna headband and pulled it from her hair.
“Oh my god,” Liz covered her burning face with her hands. She was the queen of all geeks.
“Her blood pressure is pretty high,” the paramedic said, taking the cuff off Maria’s arm. “Maybe we should transport this one, just to be on the safe side.”
“Oh don’t be silly,” Maria grabbed her cedar oil and waved it under her nose. She wasn’t going anywhere. Max Evans was taking her best friend for a walk, and she wasn’t going to miss a single minute of this fabulous turn of events. She watched Max lead Liz to the front doors, with his hand on the small of her back, in the most gentlemanly of ways.
“About damn time,” Maria said to no one in particular. She re-capped her cedar oil and slipped it into the pocket of her apron while she walked to the window, spying on her childhood friend walking down the sidewalk with the man of her dreams.
She could see Max darting those special little looks in Liz’s direction when he thought she wasn’t looking. She could see Liz biting on her lower lip trying to hide her nervous smile. She could see the way their arms brushed together as they walked, with their hands almost touching.
For Maria, the picture was clear to see. She didn’t need a psychic, she didn’t need a set of tarot cards, and she certainly didn’t need a crystal ball.
Max Evans and Liz Parker were about to fall madly in love, and this time there was nothing, and no one, to stand in their way.
This time, the stars were smiling on them.
Sometimes the road you travel
Is full of twists and turns
And sometimes choosing the right path
Is difficult to discern
Sometimes you end up regretting
The direction that you take
And sometimes you end up suffering
For the choices that you make
Sometimes you’re lost in the darkness
Stumbling your way through the night
And sometimes you fear for the future
That things will never be right
But sometimes the light in the distance
Can guide you to that special place
Where everything’s warm and inviting
Wrapped up in a loving embrace
Because sometimes your heart can be broken
And sometimes your life can be sad
But sometimes, if you’re very lucky
Good things can come out of bad.
Untitled
By Breathless
Back with a postscript:
I wrote this story while watching season 2 and 3 play out on TV recently, and I must confess it made me as angry and irritated as the first time.
On the show, Max had one driving desire that he focused on in season 3, which was finding his son. In Downfall, I changed that focus to Liz. He spent years tracking her down, giving up any kind of ‘life’ of his own, focusing exclusively on her.
On the show, Liz could be just as single minded. When Alex died, she was the only one who believed it was murder. She was right, of course, but the way she went about it she pretty much shut herself off from everyone else, even Maria. She was so sure in her beliefs that she wouldn’t listen to anyone else. She took it all on herself, causing riffs in her relationships with all her friends.
In Downfall, Liz found out early on that the end of the world was indeed still going to happen, and she took that responsibility all onto herself, blaming her actions for causing it. She became single minded in her solution, convincing herself that her death was the only way to set the future right. She shut down her emotions, just as she did after Alex died, knowing that it was the only way she could face what she felt she had to do.
Liz’s descent into booze and men was two fold. Liz knew that the only way she could follow through with her plan was by turning off all her emotions. She lived in a world without hope. But she also knew that if/when Max found her, it would be impossible for her to keep her emotions closed off. Her love for him was too strong, always had been, always would be, and seeing him she knew he would make her feel again, and give her hope, and she couldn’t afford that. The only way to make sure Max wouldn’t stop her plan was to make sure Max couldn’t love her anymore. Who could love a whore? Her lifestyle became a self-fulfilling prophecy. She turned to alcohol and men to shut off her emotions, and being a drunken slut meant Max would never want her, thus she had no need for emotions.
Being a drunk alone would never accomplish this. Drunks can be fixed, healed, redeemed, forgiven, but whores are morally repugnant, unworthy of forgiveness. Based on their past history, Liz knew her moral impurity would be unforgivable, and Max could never love her again, or want to dissuade her from her plan. She would be dead to him already because of what she had turned into. This was where Liz was wrong. Max’s love for her, slut and all, was so strong that it didn’t matter what kind of life she’d lived.
Max, of course, couldn’t go through with her plan to sacrifice her life. The only viable option was to eliminate everyone else who could cause them harm. Tess, Nasedo, the Skins, the Dupes. A little well placed mind control and Max could make that nasty little Nicholas tell Kivar the King was dead, no need to invade a backwater planet like Earth anymore. As far as Cal Langley goes, he was never a threat. He wanted to be left alone and had no interest in Max.
The ‘deaths’ of future Max and future Liz was tragic, but in truth, they were too damaged to rekindle that mythical ‘soulmate’ connection. (Even though many of you diehard dreamers wanted them to.)
Only through their self-sacrificing could the magic rise up from the ashes. Only by going back to the beginning could the word soulmate be given a chance to live again, uncorrupted, unsoiled, and untainted.
The end of the world in Downfall can best be equated to my feelings about the end of Roswell. It sunk into the quagmire, lost its direction and focus when Max turned away from Liz and “fucked his world all to hell”. When he slept with Tess the show lost all its magic, and it’s only when we recycle back to season 1 that we get the magic back again.
Last edited by Breathless on Sat Apr 19, 2003 1:48 am, edited 2 times in total.
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Breathless
- Addicted Roswellian
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Downfall
When I wrote Downfall, it was with the full knowledge that in the eyes of some readers my writing would be forever tainted. I crossed a line – intentionally – taking this story to a place nobody ever wanted to go.
I took Liz down to the gutter, right where Max went in season 2. It was essential that she be deemed just as tainted, just as ruined as everyone thought Max was by the end of season 2. If I had portrayed her with only as a drunk, her character would have been completely “redeemable”. Max would have come riding in on his white horse to “heal” her again, and the next logical step would be for them to find a way to avert the impending end of the world and live happily ever after. That’s not what this story was about.
Downfall presented you with a Max and Liz so tainted you didn’t WANT their timeline to continue. (Weren’t we all screaming for a mindwarp in season 2, so that Max could go back to being season 1 Max?) We didn’t want Max to have really slept with Tess, to have gotten her pregnant, to have acted like a jerk, but we were stuck with it and nothing felt right after that. Max and Liz got back together in season 3, but it felt hollow. The magic was gone. No matter what, we were still stuck with the guy who lost his virginity to Tess, and has a son out there somewhere.
By making Liz guilty of sins just as grievous, you didn’t want this Liz to be what we were left with, just as we didn’t want the Max that season 2/3 left us with. By taking them both down to the same level, they were able to forgive each other on equal terms, and their scarifices in the end were equal, instead of one sided.
Taffy Cat makes an excellent point when she says I didn’t portray an accurate depiction of alcoholism here. She’s absolutely right. I didn’t focus on the aftereffects of her drinking, because I knew her drinking wasn’t going to be the issue here. What made Liz unacceptable in this story, and thus the story unacceptable for some, was her sexual activity. That’s what crossed the line.
In the end, Downfall left us with two damaged people, and I dare say most of us (me included) were relieved when Max went back and ended this timeline. As some have said, Max and Liz were given a “do over”. Some, like Taffy Cat, think going back in time is a cop out, but I believe it is the only way to get back to what the majority of us felt was the original intent of the show.
A tainted Max and a Saint Liz didn’t work for me, and I posted this story with the full knowledge that some people would find this totally unacceptable, and by reflection, my writing (present and future) unacceptable as well.
Each of us has lines that can’t be crossed. I have mine, you have yours. For those of you who stuck though Downfall and left with a positive feeling in the end, thank you. Thank you for sticking with it and understanding my meaning here. For those of you who were left with negative feelings, I respect those feelings, too. Downfall may have strained, or even severed the writer/reader relationship we had in the past, and if that’s the case, I wish you well even though we may not meet again.
If anyone is still hanging around to read this on this early Easter morning . . .
I wish you peace in your hearts and around the world.
Debbi
I took Liz down to the gutter, right where Max went in season 2. It was essential that she be deemed just as tainted, just as ruined as everyone thought Max was by the end of season 2. If I had portrayed her with only as a drunk, her character would have been completely “redeemable”. Max would have come riding in on his white horse to “heal” her again, and the next logical step would be for them to find a way to avert the impending end of the world and live happily ever after. That’s not what this story was about.
Downfall presented you with a Max and Liz so tainted you didn’t WANT their timeline to continue. (Weren’t we all screaming for a mindwarp in season 2, so that Max could go back to being season 1 Max?) We didn’t want Max to have really slept with Tess, to have gotten her pregnant, to have acted like a jerk, but we were stuck with it and nothing felt right after that. Max and Liz got back together in season 3, but it felt hollow. The magic was gone. No matter what, we were still stuck with the guy who lost his virginity to Tess, and has a son out there somewhere.
By making Liz guilty of sins just as grievous, you didn’t want this Liz to be what we were left with, just as we didn’t want the Max that season 2/3 left us with. By taking them both down to the same level, they were able to forgive each other on equal terms, and their scarifices in the end were equal, instead of one sided.
Taffy Cat makes an excellent point when she says I didn’t portray an accurate depiction of alcoholism here. She’s absolutely right. I didn’t focus on the aftereffects of her drinking, because I knew her drinking wasn’t going to be the issue here. What made Liz unacceptable in this story, and thus the story unacceptable for some, was her sexual activity. That’s what crossed the line.
In the end, Downfall left us with two damaged people, and I dare say most of us (me included) were relieved when Max went back and ended this timeline. As some have said, Max and Liz were given a “do over”. Some, like Taffy Cat, think going back in time is a cop out, but I believe it is the only way to get back to what the majority of us felt was the original intent of the show.
A tainted Max and a Saint Liz didn’t work for me, and I posted this story with the full knowledge that some people would find this totally unacceptable, and by reflection, my writing (present and future) unacceptable as well.
Each of us has lines that can’t be crossed. I have mine, you have yours. For those of you who stuck though Downfall and left with a positive feeling in the end, thank you. Thank you for sticking with it and understanding my meaning here. For those of you who were left with negative feelings, I respect those feelings, too. Downfall may have strained, or even severed the writer/reader relationship we had in the past, and if that’s the case, I wish you well even though we may not meet again.
If anyone is still hanging around to read this on this early Easter morning . . .
I wish you peace in your hearts and around the world.
Debbi
Last edited by Breathless on Sun Apr 20, 2003 5:27 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Breathless
- Addicted Roswellian
- Posts: 254
- Joined: Tue Oct 09, 2001 4:58 pm
- Location: Somewhere in ficland
A sequel. To tell you the truth, I’ve never contemplated writing a sequel for this story.
Posting Downfall wasn’t the best experience of my life, mainly because it opened my eyes to just how small-minded some people really are. Max Evans can be vilified as the devil incarnate, but say one wrong word about Liz Parker and you’re drawn and quartered, hung from the rafters, and burned at the stake.
In a way, I wish I had “saved” Downfall and posted it as my last Roswell fanfic, because it epitomizes what I truly believe: That Roswell was ruined by the events that transpired in season 2, and compounded by season 3, and only by wiping the slate clean, and going back to the beginning, could things every be magical again.
Speaking as the author, the depiction of Liz in Downfall was a metaphor for how the show itself became corrupted. Something pure, and sweet, and innocent, turned into something unrecognizable and despicable. Her descent into alcohol and meaningless sex exemplified the degradation of the show. I intentionally presented you with a version of Liz that you wouldn’t want to see continue, that when the timeline ended, it would come with a measure of relief. I wanted Max and Liz’s sacrifice to be on equal footing, that one wasn’t martyred over the other, that out of the depths they sank to, a new, brighter future was able to rise.
If you want a sequel, here it is:
Max and Liz lived happily ever after.
The End.
(Don’t you just love a happy ending?!)
:smilecolros: :smilecolros: :smilecolros: :smilecolros:
Posting Downfall wasn’t the best experience of my life, mainly because it opened my eyes to just how small-minded some people really are. Max Evans can be vilified as the devil incarnate, but say one wrong word about Liz Parker and you’re drawn and quartered, hung from the rafters, and burned at the stake.
In a way, I wish I had “saved” Downfall and posted it as my last Roswell fanfic, because it epitomizes what I truly believe: That Roswell was ruined by the events that transpired in season 2, and compounded by season 3, and only by wiping the slate clean, and going back to the beginning, could things every be magical again.
Speaking as the author, the depiction of Liz in Downfall was a metaphor for how the show itself became corrupted. Something pure, and sweet, and innocent, turned into something unrecognizable and despicable. Her descent into alcohol and meaningless sex exemplified the degradation of the show. I intentionally presented you with a version of Liz that you wouldn’t want to see continue, that when the timeline ended, it would come with a measure of relief. I wanted Max and Liz’s sacrifice to be on equal footing, that one wasn’t martyred over the other, that out of the depths they sank to, a new, brighter future was able to rise.
If you want a sequel, here it is:
Max and Liz lived happily ever after.
The End.
(Don’t you just love a happy ending?!)
:smilecolros: :smilecolros: :smilecolros: :smilecolros:
