Author: Debbi aka Breathless
Category: Max and Liz, CC/UC
Rating: PG 13 to NC 17
The mythology of this story is different than the show. Max and company (Zan and his cohorts too) did NOT live previous lives. Max was never a KING. Tess was never his WIFE. Isabel wasn’t a PRINCESS.
From Sexual Healing:
“What are you doing here, Max?”
“Well, I have orders from my planet. To take over the Earth.”
Deejonaise wrote: Debbi. If you made me love Tess enough to root for her in this fic when she was such a skank in the beginning, I think you'll be able to convince me to forgive Zan.
Based on the fervor of your feedback,
Dee, I’m not going to hold my breath! I’m sure I’d die of lack of oxygen before you turn a sympathetic eye toward Zan.
SarahWhitman, your perception about the cliffie wasn’t wrong.
nitpick23 wrote: And as for Tess? She walked into her situation with her eyes open, she went to Zan to betray Max and got exactly what she deserved, the life she thought she wanted with someone that played the roll of strong, adult king.
I was quite surprised to see your name in the feedback,
nitpick23. As for Tess, I don’t mind that you hate her, she did plenty of bad things in the first half of this story, but to be fair, she didn’t go to Zan willingly. When Zan took her away from the dance club, it was against her will. And btw, there are no kings in this story. No royal 4. No previous lives.
Realistic Dreamer wrote:I generally have a thing for Zan, but in this case, I can't feel much for him. The lack of nurturing can only go so far to explain away behavior. At some point, Zan has to be responsible for his actions. If I remember right, he is an older version, in his 20's I believe. That is well within the range of accepting responsibility.
I was quite surprised to see you too,
Realistic Dreamer. I didn’t think my brand of storytelling was your cup of tea! Anyway, you’re right in that Zan is older. He was “born” as a teenager, so he’s physically the equivalent of a 27 or 28 year old. You say at some point Zan should be responsible for his actions. However, from his point of view, he was always responsible. He completed every mission he was assigned, exactly as he was programmed to do. The authority figures in his life (the Skins) praised him for the work he did. His only “interaction” with humans was to complete his missions. He didn’t have parents or friends. He never went to school. He never went to church. He never had any concept of human emotions, or our view of right or wrong, until his connection opened with Max and he began to experience Max’s emotions.
Here’s a macabre correlation. I think most of us would agree that eating human flesh is wrong. But, if you grow up in a cannibalistic society, eating human flesh is normal, isn’t it? At what point should a cannibal “realize” eating people is wrong? I’d say only an outside influence (perhaps missionaries or the like) would be able to convince a cannibal that eating people was bad. For Zan, it was his connection to Max and his contact with Liz after arriving in Roswell that opened him to human emotions.
BelieveInTrueLove wrote: Zan was a monster before Roswell but that was what he was designed to do. There was no way he could go against his programming. Then he also had the added threat of his sister and friend . . .After Max heals Tess and everyone settles down will Liz explain what now needs to happen. Will Ava choose to go with Zan back to Antar? What will they do with the warmsicles? Will Zan be more than willing to help dispose of that little problem?
Jane, have you been reading over my shoulder??!! You always ask the best questions! Most of what you asked will be answered in this part. As for Zan going against his programming, you are absolutely right. There was no reason for him to go against his programming until Max’s connection and meeting Liz woke up his human side.
YonkersMe wrote:I have never forgotten this way Deb described Zan's thoughts about the new feelings that were being awakened: "emotions Zan had no name for."
Yes, that’s it in a nutshell. He’s only now beginning to learn what human emotions are. He had no one to teach him until his connection opened with Max and he met Liz.
On a personal note, thanks for all your concern about my son. They put him on a heavy dose of antibiotics, and he’s feeling better already.
So, enough chit chat! On with the story.
Aftermath
Part 62
Max sat facing Tess on the hard floor of the pod chamber surveying the damage Zan had inflicted on her. Below her nose the skin on her face was smooth and taut, but he could feel her teeth and her tongue poking against the place where her lips used to be. She still had a mouth in there, just no external access to it.
“Do you think you can fix it?” Kyle asked, kneeling beside Max. He held Tess’s hand in his, offering her comfort and support.
“I think so,” Max answered with his fingers on her skin. He’d seen a lot of things in Zan when they connected earlier, powers he’d never known about. They were a part of him now, but the tricky part was learning how to use them.
Max took a deep breath and let it out slowly as he prepared himself. He’d expended a lot of power today, enough to normally drain him completely, but he still felt energized, more powerful than before. He placed his palm against Tess’s lower face and closed his eyes. He pictured her face in his mind, the curve of her lips, the natural color, the size and shape and texture. It lasted only a few seconds, and when he pulled his hand away her face looked normal once again. Tess touched her mouth, crying again, this time her cries clearly audible. She threw her arms around Max in gratitude, crying against his chest.
Max hugged her back, taking her reaction in stride. It was an emotional reaction, human in nature, something to be encouraged. His gaze swung over to the far side of the chamber where Liz was talking to Zan. He wasn’t sure what they were talking about, but from their body language, it was easily as emotional as this.
“You want me to what?” Zan hissed at Liz, his voice low and barely controlled. He stood with his back rigid and tense, a man under a great deal of stress.
“You have to go back,” Liz said softly, feeling a tug of empathy for him. His eyes looked tormented, not cold and distant like they were before.
“To Antar,” he said, raking his hand back through his hair.
“Yes,” Liz watched him begin to pace again. The way he moved, the set of his shoulders, the way his fingers tapped against his pursed lips, all of it reminded her so much of Max.
“Why?” he asked, his eyes avoiding hers.
“You have to eliminate the threat there,” she told him.
Zan stopped his pacing to face her. “You mean the Skins.” When she nodded he let out a derisive laugh, the irony was classic. “You want me to kill.”
“Yes,” she confirmed it.
“Fuck,” Zan turned away, shaking his head. “Do you know what you’re asking?”
“This isn’t about you, Zan,” Liz saw the conflict in his aura. What he once found so easy to do was now starting to eat at his soul. “You have to go back and free your people.”
“I don’t have any “people,” Zan jeered, whirling around to face her. His eyes held a haunted look, of a man who’d always been alone, and always would be. “I’m not like them. I’m not like you either.”
As soon as the words were out of his mouth he turned away, unable to face her. Liz took a step closer, touching him gently on the shoulder. The contact made his eyes flutter closed.
“They gave you life,” Liz said softly. “They created you to do good things, but the Skins took that away from you. They changed you into . . .”
A monster. The word hung in the air between them, his sins egregious and many.
“So you want me to atone, by killing again? And how exactly is that different?” His conscience was alive and in full force, smothering him with his sins. Would he never escape the blood on his hands?
“There’s a right side, and a wrong side to this,” Liz said, coming around to face him. “And the Skins are on the wrong side. Going back to help Antar, it’s not about death, or killing; it’s about life, and freedom. You’re the only one who can give that to them. They need you.”
“What good will freeing Antar do you?” Zan asked. “There’s still an invasion force heading this way.” He wanted to stay here with her. If he had to fight, let it be to protect her.
Liz lifted her hand to touch his cheek. Her eyes lost focus for a moment, going somewhere Zan couldn’t see, and then she was back, looking at him with an expression he couldn’t read. She pulled her hand away, saying, “Your destiny is on Antar. You’ll find what you need there.”
“And you?” he asked, feeling the loss of her touch.
“My destiny is here. With Max.”
“You!” Tess’s rage filled voice sounded behind Liz. In a flash she raced by Liz, straight toward Zan. She slapped him about the face, then pummeled him with her fists, crying, “You monster! You
monster!”
Zan backed against the wall but he didn’t try to defend himself. What defense was there? He’d raped her, and tortured her, and used her in the vilest ways. His cheeks stung from her assault, her fists pounded against his chest, his pathetic apology couldn’t begin to make amends.
“I’m sorry,” he let her expend her wrath without raising a hand against her.
“Sorry?” she stepped back, eyes full of tears, lower lip trembling. “I hate you. I hate you so much!”
Liz wrapped her arms around a crying Tess and led her back to Kyle. Zan slid down the wall and crouched there, reliving each and every torturous thing he’d done to her. At the time it hadn’t fazed him, but now the weight of it was nearly crushing.
* * * * *
“How can we just let him go?” Michael hissed at Liz in anger while glaring at Zan. “What makes you think he’ll switch sides and fight for Antar? How do you know he won’t go right back to fighting for the Skins?”
“He won’t,” Liz said with conviction. There was nothing else she could say. She’d seen the vision clearly. Zan had to go back.
“He needs to pay for what he’s done,” Kyle shot a scathing look over to where Zan sat alone, with his back against the wall on the far side of the chamber. Kyle tightened his arm around Tess, growling, “Living is too good for him.”
Max spoke up, unconsciously assuming his role of leader. “I’d like nothing more than to see him dead, but personal feelings aside, we have to look at the bigger picture here. There’s a whole planet up there that needs help, and like it or not, Zan’s the one who can give it to them. Liz says he has to go back, and I trust her completely.”
“But can we trust
him?” Michael folded his arms defiantly over his chest.
Ava’s soft voice came from behind them. “I’ll make sure you can.”
Eight faces spun around to look at her, each showing varying degrees of surprise. Liz stepped forward, reaching out her hand. “What do you mean?”
Ava’s answer came without hesitation, reconciled to her fate. “I’ll go back with him.”
“But you belong with us,” Max’s voice gentled, losing its earlier edge. “We felt it,” he slid a glance toward Liz, seeing her agreement. The night Ava joined them they’d both sensed it right away.
“No,” Ava shook her head sadly. “I don’t belong here any more than Zan does. Maybe I was meant to be with you in the beginning, but it didn’t turn out that way. I can’t stay here, knowing the things I’ve been a part of. My hands are just as dirty as his.”
“But we don’t hold you to blame for that,” Liz said.
“I do,” Ava fought to keep the quiver out of her voice. She sensed she would be welcome here, that they would accept her as family, but her past sins weighted too heavily on her. “I need to correct the wrongs I’ve been a part of. I can’t do that here.”
“We’ll miss you,” Liz circled her arms around Ava. She didn’t want her to go, but she understood the reasons why she felt she had to. Liz had no sense of what Ava’s future would be, only that Ava’s decision felt right, for her.
“I’ll miss you too,” Ava whispered. She’d found a sense of home for a few days, she’d carry that feeling with her, and hope to someday feel it again.
“What are we gonna do about frick and frack?” Kyle asked. No one noticed the movement behind them until it was too late.
“It’s not nice to fool with Mother Nature,” Lonnie jeered from the doorway of the Granilith Chamber. Rath stood at her side appearing confident and cruel. He grabbed the closest person he could reach, wrapping his hand around Ava’s throat and yanking her to him while Lonnie grabbed Liz, using the girls as human shields.
“Fuck!” Michael raised his hand in an aggressive stance.
“Ut, ut, ut,” Rath tisked, warning Michael to stand down. His hand tightened around Ava’s throat.
“Jesus,” Max felt like he’d just been kicked in the gut. He hadn’t anticipated Rath and Lonnie breaking out of the time shift. No one had. So much had been happening, he’d forgotten about the other dupes. His eyes focused on Liz, seeing the scared look on her face, but something else as well. She looked over his shoulder at something behind him. When he heard Zan’s voice it send a chill right through him.
“Well it’s about fuckin’ time,” Zan rose to his feet and crossed the chamber to join Lonnie and Rath, once more in control and in charge. “I sent ya inta town over 2 fuckin’ days ago. What the fuck ya been doin’?”
“Waitin’ for orders,” Rath scowled in Kyle’s direction, “until pipsqueak over there messed with us. Can I fuck him up?”
“If you want,” Zan came to a stop between his pod mates, facing Max and the rest of the stunned observers. Max’s jaw clenched in murderous agitation, breaths sharp and labored, powerless to stop them.
“Maybe I wanna play with that one first,” Rath leered in Maria’s direction. “Finish what I started.”
Zan’s eyes locked onto Max’s in silent communication, opening the latent connection between them. When Rath pushed Ava away and grabbed for Maria, both men sprang into action. With inhuman speed, Max raced forward, sweeping Liz and Ava out of harms way while Zan raised his hands, one to the back of Lonnie’s head and the other to Rath’s. His palms glowed with a blinding light sending Rath and Lonnie to their knees, clutching their heads in agonizing pain. From the safety of Max’s arms, Liz watched Zan’s display of merciless power.
“Don’t look,” Zan warned. His gaze swept over the group, falling lastly on Liz. “You don’t wanna see this.” Lonnie and Rath were his responsibility. They had to die, they had no humanity in them, but he didn’t want Liz to witness his murderous ways.
Liz turned her head into Max’s chest; Maria did the same with Michael. Alex tried to shield Isabel. Tess, Kyle and Ava cringed away from the horrifying sight. Only Michael and Max bore witness.
Lonnie’s and Rath’s groans turned to agonized screams, piercing, torture laden cries. The smell of smoke drifted on the air, along with the pungent scent of burning flesh. The smell became nearly overpowering before the ear piercing shrieks ended, and silence once more filled the chamber. When it was over, Michael appeared visibly shaken and Max pale and sick. Zan closed his eyes and dropped his head forward, the only emotion he’d allow the others to see.
No trace of Lonnie or Rath remained, only dust floating in the air, and the echo of their screams.
* * * * *
Liz circled around the Granilith, trailing her fingers over the cool black surface. She felt nine sets of eyes watching her, Max, and Zan, and everyone, all silent in the wake of what transpired in the outer chamber. No one wanted to talk about it.
“Now what?” Zan finally asked when no one else spoke up. As expected, Liz gave him his answer.
“Now we send you home.”
“How exactly do we do that?” Alex asked the obvious question. “I mean, we don’t have a spaceship, or the knowledge of how to fly one.”
“We use the Granilith,” Liz told them.
“The – Granilith?” Isabel stuttered. “It’s a spaceship?”
“No, it’s so much more than that,” Liz smiled at her shocked expression. It wasn’t just Isabel, though, everyone was staring at her like she was crazy. Everyone but Max. He believed in her explicitly. On second look, Zan was looking at her that way too. He knew things the others didn’t.
“The Granilith bends time and space,” Liz told them, using words Max had used when the Granilith was first discovered. “It makes travel across space possible in the blink of an eye.”
“Like warp speed?” Alex asked, using the closest correlation he could think of; Star Trek.
“Yeah,” Liz let out a small laugh. “Something like that.”
“So how do they get in there?” Maria asked. By rights she should be freaking out here, but her curiosity was greater than her fear. “Don’t tell me it’s ‘Beam me up, Scotty’.”
“Well, actually,” Liz hedged.
“When you touch it,” Zan spoke, “it disassembles your molecules, then reassembles them on the inside. It does the same thing transporting you across space; just the distance is greater. How did you get possession of it?” he asked what he’d been wondering since he first laid eyes on it. “The Skins had it. They used it to determine their targets. When it’s active, it shows glimpses of the future. It’s how they targeted Liz.”
“They still have the Granilith,” Max told him. “This is a prototype.”
“Then how do you know it will work?” Zan asked.
“It’ll work,” Liz assured them. “As soon as we can find the key to activate it.”
“I know where it is,” Michael spoke up.
* * * * *
“I can’t believe it,” Maria stood with her hands on her hips staring at the coin operated kiddie ride on the sidewalk in front of the UFO Center. The cheesy looking spaceship had been there for as long as she could remember. “I used to ride on that all the time when I was a kid. Are you telling me part of it came from a
real spaceship?”
“This part did,” Michael tugged on the crystal gear shift. He never would have known its significance if Lonnie hadn’t shown it to him. It came away easily in his hand, like it recognized him.
“Kids used to always try to steal it,” Maria remembered. “But nobody could ever pry it loose. It was so sparkly, everybody wanted it. Milton was always chasing kids away.”
“Let’s get this back to the others,” Michael pocketed the crystal.
“Wait,” Maria stopped him with a hand to his arm. Her eyes darted back and forth between his, trying to see inside him. “Before, at the cave, when you couldn’t . . .”
“Yeah,” Michael shrugged. “Sorry about that. I know you wanted me to be the one, but . . . I just . . . couldn’t.”
“You have no idea what that means to me, Michael.”
“What? That I couldn’t
kill you?” he stared at her in amazement. If he lived to be a thousand years old, he doubted he’d ever be able to understand her.
“No, you big lunk head,” Maria punched him on the shoulder. “The reason
why you couldn’t kill me!”
“And what would that reason be?” Michael goaded her.
“C’mon, Michael, you can say it.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he turned and headed for the Jetta.
“C’mon, Michael,” she chased after him. “Say it! Say it, say it, say it!”
“Get in the car, Maria,” he opened the driver’s side door and climbed behind the wheel.
“Michael,” she settled on the passenger seat beside him, bouncing like a little girl. “You know you want to say it!”
“Say what?” he put the key in the ignition. “That you’re irritating? Okay, you’re irritating. Can we go now?”
“No!” she grabbed the key away from him. “Not until you say it!”
“You make me crazy!” he howled.
“That’s not it,” she teased.
“You make me insane!”
“Nope, that’s not it either.”
“Give me the key.”
“No.”
“Do you want me to take you over my knee and spank you?!”
“That comes later.”
“MARIA!” his mouth fell open in shock.
“Just say it, Michael,” she wheedled.
Another protest hung on the tip of his tongue, but he knew it was futile to resist. She was an unstoppable force, what was the point of denying it? With a deep sigh he said, “I love you, Maria.”
“Say it again,” she grinned from ear to ear.
“I love you, Maria.”
“Again!”
“I LOVE YOU!”
“I LOVE YOU, TOO!” Maria squealed and threw her arms around his neck.
“Aw, what the hell,” Michael gave in completely. In for a penny, in for a pound. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her like there was no tomorrow.
* * * * *
“So this is it,” Zan stood on the rocks just outside of the entrance to the pod chamber. The sun was getting lower in the sky now, the last sunset he would ever see here. The last time he would ever see her face.
“Yes,” Liz said from behind him. She knew Max didn’t want her out here with Zan, just the two of them alone, but she understood something that Max didn’t. Zan would never hurt her. He wasn’t a threat to them anymore.
“I wonder what it will be like there,” Zan breathed in the dry desert air.
“Different,” Liz moved closer to stand beside him.
“I won’t be coming back, will I?” Zan looked at her profile. The sun bathed her skin in a golden glow, caressing her cheeks the way he wanted to, but couldn’t. She turned her head to face him, blunt honesty in her dark eyes.
“No, you won’t.”
Zan lowered his gaze, nodding his head in acceptance. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly; forcing it past the unfamiliar lump in his throat.
“Can you answer me something?” he finally managed to ask. He saw her nod her head in his peripheral vision, silently waiting for him to continue. He was a fearless man, calm and cool in battle, but it took a minute for him screw up the courage to ask her a simple question. His gaze swept over the tranquil desert, squinting into the setting sun. When he finally spoke, his voice came out soft and gentle.
“Could you have loved me?”
He saw her head dip forward, but she didn’t turn away from him. At least he had some consolation in that. He waited silently, not sure why he was torturing himself like this, he already knew her answer.
“The man you were? No,” she said, seeing the heartbreak spread across his face. “But the man that you’re becoming? I’m sorry, I can’t answer that, Zan. I can see good things in you now, but my heart was already taken before you ever got here. Nothing will ever change that.”
Despite her grim pronouncement, Zan gave in to the need to touch her, skimming his fingertips along her cheek and then brushing her hair back from her face, grateful that she didn’t shy away from him. “Does Max know how lucky he is?” he asked.
“I do,” Max said from behind them.
Zan pulled his hand away from Liz, clutching a strand of her hair between his fingers. It was the only thing he would have of her when he left this place. He held on to it like a treasure.
“It’s almost time,” Max told them. He wasn’t worried about the scene he’d just interrupted; he knew Liz’s heart through and through.
“We should go back inside,” Max held his hand out to Liz. She took it without hesitation.
Zan followed, walking a few steps behind them. He tucked the strand of her hair into his pocket, a part of her no one could ever take away from him.
* * * * *
The walls of the Granilith chamber came alive in a rainbow of swirling colors as soon as Max inserted the crystal key. He stepped back, in awe as images flashed by too fast for him to see. His minds eye absorbed it all, though; a sun going supernova, a black hole in space, a child giggling in her father’s face. In time he would learn to control it, to slow the images down and interpret what they meant, but for now that wasn’t needed. Liz knew what to do, and that was all that mattered.
Across the room, Liz pressed an object into Ava’s hand.
“What’s this for?” her blue eyes widened at the sight of the silver orb.
“So we can stay in contact,” Liz gave Ava’s hand a squeeze.
“So you can follow our progress against the Skins?” she asked.
“Well, that too,” Liz acknowledged. “But mainly, to know how you’re doing. When this is over, I hope you can come back to us.”
“I hope so, too,” Ava smiled a sad smile. She doubted it would happen, good things never seemed to come her way, but this was one dream she would cling to, to get her through the long days ahead.
The others came to join Liz; Isabel, Maria, and the rest, each of them saying their goodbyes to Ava. They embraced her, offering her words of heartfelt compassion and empathy while Zan stood alone, a solitary man, no one would miss him when he was gone.
Watching her, Zan understood why Ava had chosen to come with him. They shared the same sense of guilt for their transgressions, though her culpability wasn’t nearly as deep as his. Ava had only done what he ordered her to, by coercion and force. She never had the stomach for the life he made her live, it was only fear and his suffocating control that kept her with him all those years. Perhaps, with a fresh start on Antar, he could make it up to her.
“It’s time,” Max announced after glancing at the timer on the wall. Only a few minutes remained.
Max moved in Zan’s direction, ambivalent in his feelings toward him. He hated Zan for the monstrous things he’d done, but he’d also seen inside the man, seen how the monster was made. And who was he to throw stones? Hadn’t he stalked Liz through Eagle Rock, intent on completing the mission Zan had assigned him? Hadn’t he held a knife above Liz, ready to plunge it into her heart, after only a few hours of Zan’s programming? Would he have been any different from Zan if he too had been programmed to be a killer from the start? Shuddering at the thought, Max crossed the chamber to stand before his mirror image for one last time.
Silence stretched between them, neither man speaking, though there were many things to be said. Max was the first one to break it.
“It’s against my better judgment to let you go,” Max said warily, “but I learned a long time ago to trust Liz. She says this is the right thing to do, so I believe her. I hope you don’t prove her wrong.”
“I won’t,” Zan answered.
“Will you answer something for me honestly?”
“Go ahead.”
“Why Liz?” Max asked. “I mean, you don’t even know her. How could you feel what you feel for her?”
“Is it really that hard to understand?” Zan replied. “When did you know you loved her?”
An image flashed in Max’s mind, of a scared little boy climbing off a yellow school bus. It’d only taken one look across the school yard, one little look to steal his heart.
“Point taken,” Max said with a ghost of a smile on his lips.
“I can help you,” Zan offered, his expression completely sober.
“Help me?” Max cocked his head.
“Your dreams. Your nightmares. They keep you awake at night. Things I did to you,” Zan admitted. “Things Pierce did to you. I can make them go away.”
“Make it so I don’t remember?” Max asked for clarification.
“If you want.”
Max thought about it for a moment, but even if he trusted Zan, his answer would still be the same. “We’re shaped by the things we live through. You can’t just wish it away. I might be plagued by nightmares for the rest of my life, but they’re my nightmares to deal with.”
Zan nodded, as if he expected as much. When he spoke next, his words held a warning. “There’s one thing you should know. You and I, we aren’t the only ones.”
“Excuse me?” Max felt a chill go down his spine.
“Your unit,” Zan answered. “Mine. We weren’t the only ones sent here.”
“You mean there’s more? Like . . . me?”
“Not like you,” Zan’s warning turned ominous. “Like me. Only, they don’t share a connection to you the way I do. Their quest to complete the mission will be unwavering.”
“How many?”
“I don’t know,” Zan told him. “I never cared about the others. I only focused on my part, on being the best. But the mission book, it goes all the way back to the late 40’s. My kills only started ten years ago.”
“Why did you tell me this?” Max asked.
Zan shrugged. “You can’t protect her if you don’t know what’s out there. I’m not your enemy, Max. Not anymore.”
Max wanted to believe that was true, but he couldn’t help still being skeptical, not after all the things Zan had done to them.
“I understand,” Zan acknowledged his reservations. But he also knew Max had total faith in Liz. It was the only reason Max allowed him to live. “When the Skins come –”
“They won’t,” Liz appeared at Max’s side. She slipped her hand into his while she focused on Zan. “They’re never going to reach Earth.”
“How can you say that?” Zan scowled. The others circled around them wanting to hear her explanation.
“We’re going to destroy their ships before they ever reach our solar system.”
“How?” Max asked, just as perplexed as the others.
“We have the power,” Liz looked up at him. “The Granilith will provide the means.”
“But,” Zan wanted to argue. If they were going into battle, she would need him. He had the background, the skill, the expertise the others didn’t have. He should stay here.
“We each have our destiny to fulfill, Zan,” Liz stopped his protest. “Your strengths are needed on Antar. We can’t go there,” she indicated her fellow humans. “Our bodies can’t survive there. But you’re a hybrid. You were made to adapt to both environments. Winning the war on Antar will be long and hard and physically demanding. It can’t be done from a distance.”
“And how are you going to stop a fleet of ships deep in space?” Zan countered.
Liz looked up at Max, seeing his confused look turn to understanding.
“You mean?” he said
Liz nodded. “We’ll beat them with the power of our minds.”
* * * * *
Zan felt the vibration deep in his gut, the Granilith gearing up to take him from this place to a new world. Externally he appeared aloof, unfazed by the journey before him, but inside he was shaking. Antar was nothing more than a name to him, a distant place he had no connection to, a planet that wouldn’t have the only thing he wanted.
His gaze stole over to Liz. She stood beside Max, the two sharing some conversation he wasn’t privy to. The way she smiled at Max, the way she leaned into his chest, the way she gave herself completely to him made Zan ache inside. It was what he wanted, to have her look at him that way, just once, though he knew it would never happen. She wasn’t meant for him.
Colors from the Granilith flickered over his face, obscuring the longing in his eyes. A part of him wanted to go, to just get it over with, to stop torturing himself with what he couldn’t have. But another part of him wanted to delay the moment forever, because once he boarded the Granilith, in his soul he knew he’d never see her again.
Her gaze slid in his direction, forcing Zan to look away. She looked at him differently than she looked at Max. Without love. Without affection. Which was only to be expected, even though it was like a dagger in his heart.
“Are you ready?”
Zan startled at the sound of Ava’s voice beside him. He turned to see her blue eyes looking up at him. Her face held an expression he couldn’t place at first, and then it dawned on him what it was. She wasn’t afraid of him now. Fear didn’t color her features.
“Yes, I’m ready,” Zan lied.
“Then let’s do it.”
Zan took a deep breath and let it out slowly. No sense in delaying the inevitable. Ava had said her goodbyes; she was ready to face the next stage of her life. Zan had no one to say goodbye to. They were all anxious to see him gone. He wanted nothing more than to beg Liz to let him stay, but it wasn’t meant to be. He kept a stoic face as he touched Ava’s shoulder with one hand and the bell of the Granilith with the other. A tingling sensation shot through his arm and within seconds they were transported inside the structure, only moments away from a life altering journey across the stars.
Ava’s outward façade began to crumble when she reappeared inside the Granilith. The emotions she’d been holding back couldn’t be contained. Tears began to flow freely down her face, but she’d made her choice, there was no turning back now. In a display of compassion rarely shown before, Zan reached for her hand to comfort her, making a silent vow to protect her, and watch over her, she’d never have to be afraid of him again.
He focused on Liz through the transparent shell of the Granilith. She was lost to him now; in truth she’d never been his. His connection to Max had forged a connection with her, and through her he’d become a better man. He wouldn’t let her down. His future path was set now, a future that didn’t include her, but he was ready to face it.
The air inside the Granilith began to change; unseen currents ebbed and flowed, causing tingling sensations across their skin. Zan and Ava lost all sense of dimension; no floor below them, no ceiling above, no walls surrounding them. Stars sparkled in front of their eyes, brilliant points of light, some with dazzling coronas. Planets spun in their orbits, moons reflected dazzling sunlight, nebulas crackled with energy.
The two shapes inside the Granilith flickered between solid and transparent. Light swelled inside the bell, growing brighter and brighter until it was too bright to look at. Liz shielded her eyes as the light flared and blinked out, returning the device to its pre-active state, dormant and empty.
Only Zan’s voice remained, a faint echo in Liz’s mind, the look in his eyes something she would always remember, his words something she would never forget.
‘I’ll always love you.’
