When Love Isn't Enough (ML / Adult) (Complete)

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Deejonaise
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Post by Deejonaise »

Chapter Thirty-Nine

“I just don’t understand why you have to leave when you just got back home!” Jeff Parker argued as he watched his youngest child and only daughter pack up the remaining belongings in her old room. “There are ways to keep your pregnancy secret without you having to go away, Lizzie.”

Liz paused in the act of emptying her armoire to regard her father in weary exhaustion. It had been an emotionally harrowing two days for her. Her personal answering machine was filled with worried messages from her friends, but the majority belonged to Max. At first, he’d called her cursing and ranting, veering between shock and betrayal to just outright disgust. And then, later, his messages had become remorseful, even pleading. He said he understood why she slept with Kyle and was sorry he’d pushed her to such an extreme. He wanted to talk. He needed her. But it was the last message he left that broke Liz’s heart completely. “I know I’m being pathetic,” he had whispered brokenly, “I’ll leave you alone.”

Her heart crumbled with just the memory of how defeated he’d sounded. Liz had wanted nothing more than to hide away in her room for the rest of her life. It had taken some effort but she finally managed to rouse herself from her depression into action. The first call she put in was to Kyle. She apologized once more for making a complete ass out of herself. To her delight not only was Kyle NOT holding a grudge he had also helped decide what her next destination would be. His stepsister Maria attended school in Florida and she was looking for a roommate. Kyle thought that since she and Liz had hit it off so well before they would be perfect together.

Liz ran the idea by her parents and Jeff Parker reluctantly agreed, but only after a verbal tongue lashing from his wife. He would pay for everything, including Liz’s schooling so that she could attend an overpriced private school exclusively for unwed, teen-age mothers. Under normal circumstances Liz might have been a little irritated to be stuck in a private school, but now she was just grateful to be in a place where there would be other girls like her.

Next she called Alex. Apparently, he’d been in a state of panic because Max had called him the night she left asking if he’d had seen her. Alex had been frantic ever since. In a near two hour conversation Liz painfully explained to Alex what happened and what she planned to do about it. She also told him her secret. Aside from her family and Kyle he was the only other person to know. Liz emphasized to Alex that she wanted it to stay that way. And despite his burgeoning friendship with Isabel he halfheartedly consented to keep her secret. However, that didn’t stop him from throwing in a bit of pragmatic advice and urging Liz to tell Max the truth. She considered that she would some day soon, but not in the immediate future. First she needed some time to sort out her feelings and mentally prepare herself for having Max in her life once again.

Presently, Liz sank down onto her bed and pushed all ten fingers through her hair in a gesture of frustration. “We went through all this last night, Dad,” she groaned impatiently, “I’m not going away to hide my pregnancy. I’m going away because I need some time to think. These last two months have made me crazy.”

Jeff hunkered down in front of his daughter, wanting to touch her, but knowing she’d reject him if he tried. Instead he tried to transmit his sincere remorse through his gaze. “I was only trying to make you happy, Lizzie,” he whispered sadly.

“Instead you made me miserable,” Liz countered succinctly, all but glaring at him, “You pushed and pushed until everything was ruined between me and Max.”

“I…I honestly thought the two of you would be happy together,” her father argued lamely, “Liz, the boy had dinner with us practically every night. I saw the way you looked at him, but what’s more….I saw the way he looked at you.”

Liz recoiled from her father in unconcealed disgust. “Don’t even try to make what you did about true love,” she spat angrily, “It was all about money and what profit you could make from merging your company!”

The fire leaping in her eyes surprised him, left his heart aching. This angry young woman before him couldn’t be his sweet tempered daughter, the one he’d pushed in the swing set in the backyard, the one who had never failed to give him a good-night kiss every night until very recently. She was like a stranger to him now, cold, bitter and unyielding. Jeff realized with saddened remorse that he’d made her into that stranger.

His shoulders slumped in defeat Jeff straightened to his feet. “This was never just about money, Elizabeth,” he denied quietly, “I need you to understand that. If that was all it was about then Philip and I could have easily married Michael and Isabel.”

Liz tossed him an embittered glance. “Is that supposed to make me feel better?”

“Miss Liz?” Both Liz and her father glanced up to find Consuela standing timidly in her open doorway. “You have visitor…a Senorita Harding for you.”

“Tess Harding?” Jeff questioned with a disapproving frown.

Consuela bobbed her head in an eager nod. “Si, Senor Parker.”

“Tell her to leave immediately,” Jeff ordered irately, “Tell her if she ever steps foot-,”

“Show her to the tea room, Consuela,” Liz interrupted calmly as she came to her feet, “I’ll be down shortly.” She offered Consuela a smile of dismissal and watched the housekeeper bustle off.

“Elizabeth, what the hell are you doing?” her father demanded in a hiss when they were alone again, “You’re in no emotional state-,”

“Don’t you dare tell me what state I’m in,” Liz snapped out, her eyes flashing brown fire, “This is the last time you will interfere in my life, Dad. Either you can accept my choices or I can leave.”

“Where would you go?” Jeff challenged weakly.

“It doesn’t take much to buy a bus ticket and simply disappear,” Liz warned, “Is that what you want?”

“I want you to be happy,” her father replied sincerely.

“Then let me do what I have to do.”

Liz did not actually make it down into the tea room until nearly fifteen minutes later. She didn’t deliberately keep Tess waiting as she was seeing to the last minute details of her trip, but she wouldn’t be false by saying that she didn’t take extreme satisfaction in doing so. When Liz finally entered the sunny salon Tess was hovering over near one of the windows, apparently lost in thought.

“Did you come here to gloat?” Liz asked softly.

Her question startled Tess. She spun around to face Liz in breathless surprise. “I was beginning to think you’d keep me waiting here,” she said carefully.

In no mood to play verbal games Liz cut directly to the heart of it, her gaze cold and unyielding. “What are you doing here, Tess?”

Tess was initially stunned by Liz’s direct manner but was quick to recover. “I just wanted to come by and personally commend you for doing the right thing,” she said in smug reply. Liz itched to slap the smirking grin right off her face and that was before Tess added cattily, “You wouldn’t have been happy trapped in a loveless marriage anyway.”

“Max told you about the divorce then,” Liz said blandly, “I’m rather surprised he had the time since he’s been calling me day and night.”

Tess was careful to school her features. In actually she’d had no further contact with Max in the last two days. Whenever she called his cell number she inevitably received his voice mail and the one time she didn’t Max had hung up on her. Tess had only discovered what was happening the night before when her usually mild-mannered cousin burst into her bedroom, righteously indignant. That’s when she found out the truth. Liz thought she and Max had gotten back together.

At first Tess had been dumbfounded by the revelation. Never had she imagined that after the disheartening conversation she’d had with Max in his car that his marriage would collapse that very night. Of course, it was under completely false pretenses. She and Max weren’t together at all. He didn’t even want to see her. It would only be a matter of time before others realized that nothing was going on between them and the news trickled down to Liz. Tess knew she had to act fast. Maybe if she could twist the knife deep enough Liz Parker would leave Roswell rather than face the prospect of watching her ex-husband woo Tess all over again. And then, once she was gone, Tess would happily step into the space she’d left and pick up the broken pieces of Max’s heart.

“He didn’t want to hurt you,” Tess managed to reply with a straight face, “You know how Max can be. He was just trying to soothe his guilty conscience by calling you…it’s not because he actually wants to reconcile with you.”

Her caustic words packed a punch. Liz felt the pain of them clear down to her toes but she was careful not to betray even a twitch of anguish. What was especially hard was that Liz knew the truth in Tess’ statement. She knew how Max’s guilt drove him. She could believe that he’d claimed to love her out of some wild need to atone for the night they’d spent together. He had probably meant some of the things he’d said to a degree, but the truth was that he’d never unbound himself from Tess at all. She continued to have a hold over him that Liz couldn’t break.

“You should be happy then,” she told Tess glibly, “Now you have Max again.”

“Liz, I never lost him,” Tess tossed back pointedly, “You would have never had Max in the first place if your daddy hadn’t arranged for you to trap him. You should be grateful you had him for the time you did.”

Liz coughed out a bitter chuckle. “You think you’ve won one hell of a prize, don’t you?” she bit out tartly, “In reality what you have is a spoiled, weak-willed little boy who doesn’t know his own mind or heart. If that’s what you want you’re more than welcome to him.” Yet, even as the words flowed so venomously from Liz’s lips she felt like she was dying inside with every utterance. She wasn’t a fool or stupid. There was so much more to Max than that and she knew it. He was compassionate and sympathetic and he had a kind heart. It was that same kind heart that served as a catalyst in most of his decisions. Liz knew he hadn’t purposely broken her heart; in fact it was probable that he’d done everything in his power to avoid doing so. It was too bad that the knowledge did nothing to assuage Liz’s bitter feelings.

Swallowing back her painful feelings, Liz charged Tess coldly, “Have you said everything you came here to say or is there more?”

Blue eyes narrowed into infuriated slits. “Is that what you think of Max?” she demanded in affront, “That he’s spoiled…weak-willed?” Tess shook her head at Liz in a pitying gesture. “You don’t know the first thing about Max.”

“No, Tess,” Liz contradicted, “You’re the one who doesn’t know Max. No one can know him…he doesn’t even know himself.”

“It’s so obvious you’re jealous,” Tess flung out, “You spend one drunken night with him and all of a sudden you’re an expert on Max. You think he belongs to you or something? I was pregnant with his child, Liz! That’s something you’ll never have with him!” Angry pain slashed across Liz’s features briefly before her expression became a stony mask once more. But Tess didn’t miss the brief display of emotion. However, Tess assumed Liz’s reaction was due to the fact Liz didn’t know about her miscarriage rather than the fact that Liz was pregnant herself as well. “You didn’t know that, did you,” Tess scoffed, “The only reason Max and I don’t have a baby together right now is because I had a miscarriage. So you see…he and I share a bond you couldn’t possibly understand. One night of drunken sex isn’t going to break that apart. He and I had a terrible fight that night. That’s the only reason he turned to you.”

Liz said nothing, but only continued to stare at Tess with a granite expression of loathing. Tess took her silence as a challenge. She felt sickened by all the talk of babies and bonds, maybe because, in her embittered heart, she was angry that she hadn’t had that same opportunity. However, Liz’s pain was blinding her to the fact that she was solely responsible for the lack of that bond.

Knowing full well Liz had seen her and Max kissing the other night Tess threw in her remaining dig. “Why do you think he ran to my side the moment I got back into town,” she taunted breezily, “He couldn’t wait to be back in my arms again. I’m the one he really loves, Liz…I always have been.”

The memory of that night flashed through Liz’s mind with Tess’ airy words. She could still see them locked together in that kiss. Her eyes immediately flooded with tears at the memory. Liz actually groaned aloud from the pain of it. She fell back a step, gripping the back of a nearby chair. “Get out,” she ground out hoarsely.

“Did I hit a nerve?” Tess asked, her eyes round with feigned innocence.

“Of course you didn’t,” Liz flung back bravely, “You and Max totally deserve each other. He’s a bastard and you’re a bitch. I hope you’re very happy together.” She pushed away from the chair. “I’m sure you can find your way out.” Liz walked out of the room then, her stride down the long, winding hallway stumbled only by the tears blurring her eyes. Until that moment she didn’t know it was possible to hurt so much and still remain standing. She wasn’t surprised to find her father waiting for her at the base of the stairs. However, when he tried to take her in his arms and hold her Liz staved him off.

“Don’t,” she cried wrathfully, “I don’t want you to touch me!”

“Lizzie, please,” Jeff implored in agony, “I just want to make it better for you.”

Liz fixed him with steely eyes, glistening with tears and hurt and embittered fury. “You want to make things better for me?” she challenged coldly, “Make sure I can leave this god forsaken place as soon as possible.”
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Deejonaise
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Post by Deejonaise »

Chapter Forty

Max Evans was having a bad day. Now that was an understatement. If there had been a large, gaping hole nearby he would have gladly climbed inside it. He’d spent the last two days burning up the phone lines calling Liz while avoiding irate phone calls from his father and tearful phone calls from Tess. Max had exercised serious will power in not going over to Liz’s house to confront her directly. If she wasn’t willing to answer his phone calls she definitely wouldn’t be receptive to seeing him in person either. But after two agony-wracked days he couldn’t stand it any longer. He needed to explain things to her or he was sure his heart and head would explode.

His plan to leave first thing in the morning for the Parkers was unexpectedly delayed by a call from the Registrar’s office. It seemed that a stop payment had been put on the check for his summer tuition. Max had spent nearly thirty minutes trying to reassure the office clerk that he was absolutely sure there had been some mistake and that he would call his father immediately to straighten out the misunderstanding. Of course, Philip Evans had been tied up in business meetings for most of the morning so Max had been unsuccessful in reaching him. Left with little choice Max had called his mother for answers.

“I wouldn’t know anything about that, sweetheart,” Diane Evans had said, but her words had sounded curiously disapproving.

Max had known the reason instantly. “You know, don’t you?” he had sighed tiredly.

“Oh Max, how could you do it?” his mother cried, “You know how much Liz loved you and that Harding girl is nothing but trouble! She’s never showed me an ounce of respect.”

“Mother,” Max had managed as calmly as he could, “Tess and I are not together. This is just one huge misunderstanding, okay. I’ll fix it.” His mother hadn’t sounded at all convinced when he hung up the phone, which had only doubled his frustration. If he couldn’t convince his own mother that things were over with Tess how the hell was he supposed to convince Liz? Yet despite his pessimistic expectations Max dragged himself off for the Corvette and drove over to the Parkers.

He didn’t find it a bit surprising that the moment he stepped out of his car Michael was already stalking across the front yard to stop him. “We have a restraining order,” he told Max coldly before they were even within six feet of each other.

“What?” Max scoffed in disbelief, “That’s fucking nuts! You know I wouldn’t hurt Liz!”

“You wouldn’t hurt Liz!” Michael fired dubiously, “All you’ve done is fucking hurt her! Now turn around and get the hell off our property!”

“Michael, come on,” Max cajoled, “You’ve known me all our lives… I wouldn’t do that to Liz…I wouldn’t cheat on her like that…”

Michael snorted an ironic laugh. “You cheated on her your whole goddamned marriage!” he retorted. He laughed again at Max’s astonished expression. “What? You think I didn’t know how you were sneaking off to spend your nights in Tess Harding’s bed?”

“I can explain that,” Max began lamely.

“Don’t wanna hear it,” Michael cut him off brusquely, “Just leave before I forget the years we were friends and beat your ass down right here.”

“Max, you heard him,” Jeff Parker seconded, coming to stand alongside his son, “You need to leave.”

“Not until I talk to Liz,” Max insisted stubbornly, “I’m not leaving without her.”

“You sonavabitch!” Michael growled, launching himself forward. Jeff grabbed the edge of his shirt, holding him back from his angry attack. “Let me go, Dad!” he ordered hotly, “He doesn’t have the right to come here making demands after what he did!”

Max took a cautious step back, throwing up his hands in surrender. “I didn’t come here to fight you, Michael, honestly. I just want to talk to Liz.” His eyes pleaded with them but he was only met with stony resolve. Despite that Max implored, “Please, Mr. Parker…I just…I need to see her.”

“She’s not here, Max,” Jeff answered stonily.

“I don’t believe you.”

Michael struggled against his father with renewed vigor, swinging his fists wildly. “Are you calling my dad a liar, you bastard?” Jeff looped his arms around his hotheaded son’s chest, grappling to keep him back.

“I’m not…lying to you…Max,” Jeff panted in exertion, “I dropped Liz…at the airport…over two hours ago.” Max was already hopping back into his car when Jeff added, “Her plane has already taken off.”

Max wilted against the car door, his face falling in defeat. His entire body seemed to shrink, as if the last of his fight had gone out of him. “No,” he muttered to himself. And then he drew himself up again, his spine stiffened with resolve. “No,” he said again, “You’re lying. You’re just trying to keep us apart. I’m going to find her myself.” Max stalked past father and son at the precise moment Michael broke away from his dad with a roar of rage.

He launched himself at Max in a running tackle, taking his adversary to the ground painfully. Momentarily disoriented with having the wind knocked out of him Max rolled over, completely unprepared for Michael’s first punch. Stars burst before his eyes as Michael’s fist connected brutally with his upper jaw.

Michael momentarily got the upper hand, raining blows to Max’s face and mid-section. After several punches Max was able to blow most of the attacks. He and Michael wrestled with one another fiercely until Max managed to roll the larger boy onto his back and begin inflicting his own assault.

As if from far away Max could hear Jeff Parker yelling for someone to call the police while he and Michael continued to grunt and punch and roll with each other across the lawn. By the time the cops arrived both Max’s eyes were swollen shut and his face was speckled with new bruises on top of the ones he’d sustained only two days earlier. Michael didn’t fair much better with his own swollen eye and split lip. They had to be physically dragged away from each other and another cop had to step between them to stop the fight completely.

“What the hell’s happening here?” the cop demanded irately.

“This young man is trespassing!” Jeff accused angrily, “I want him arrested immediately!”

“They have my wife!” Max cried wildly, “They won’t let me see her!”

“Is this true?” the officer asked Jeff.

“My daughter is married to him,” Jeff conceded gruffly, “But the situation is temporary. She has no desire to see him at all.”

“Is your daughter in the house?”

“No, sir, she is not,” Jeff answered.

The officer sighed tiredly, repressing the urge to roll his eyes. God, he hated domestic disputes. They almost always ended badly for everyone involved. “Who provoked the fight,” he asked wearily.

“He did,” Michael spat out vehemently.

“That’s a fucking lie!” Max flung back. He tried to break away from the cop holding him and his defiance earned him a knee to the kidney as he was pushed into the turf and summarily cuffed.

“There’s a restraining order against him,” Jeff explained to the officer mildly, “He’s not supposed to be within 500 ft. of our house.”

The officer sighed again and directed Michael with a woebegone expression. “Do you want to press charges?”

Michael shot Max a look of scathing hatred. “Definitely.”

An hour later Max found himself in lock-up after it had been determined that all the injuries he’d sustained had been superficial. It was another two hours before he was even allowed to make his one phone call. Max was nearly frantic to make that phone call yet when he stood in front of the tarnished pay phone he realized that his list of people to call was amazingly short. Max could only think of one person he could actually turn to. He dialed her number with shaking fingers. She thankfully answered after only a few rings.

“Max?” she said immediately as if she’d been expecting his phone call the entire time.

“Isabel, I need you to come and get me.”

His sister made it to the jail in half an hour. Twenty minutes later she had his bail posted and was milling around outside while he was being processed for release. The moment she spotted him, however, she raced over to his side. “Oh my God, Max!” she burst out, her fingers hovering over his battered face, “What the hell happened? And don’t tell me you tripped again!”

Max grinned deprecatingly, which only caused his face to ache all the more. “Michael and I got in a fight.”

“So it’s true then,” Isabel whispered in disappointment, “You did cheat on Liz with Tess. There’s no way Michael would do this to you otherwise.” She skimmed her figures lightly over his injuries. “Your face looks like ground hamburger. Can you even see?”

“Just barely…but I’ll manage.”

Isabel felt torn between the desire to hug him and the strong urge to slap him senseless. “How could you be such an idiot,” she hissed fiercely, “Sometimes I can’t believe we’re even related.”

Max swallowed back his vexed groan. “I didn’t cheat on Liz, okay,” he insisted jaggedly, “This has just been an awful mistake.” He held up a lone finger to put off her further questions while he asked the officer at the window. “Is my car here?” He shot Isabel and eye rolling glance. “I wouldn’t put it past Jeff Parker to have it impounded.”

“What make and model?” the officer asked brusquely. Max told him. “Yeah, it’s here,” the officer confirmed after consulting his computer files, “You wanna get it out?”

Max nodded tersely. “How much?”

“Two hundred fifty.”

Thoroughly disgusted Max dug around in his back pocket for his recently returned wallet. He had only just started to pull free one of his credit cards when Isabel reached out a shaky hand to stop him. “Let me pay for it,” she offered nervously, already fumbling around in her purse for her own credit card.

“I got it,” Max said gruffly, “You’ve done enough by putting up my bail money.”

“Max, don’t!” Isabel cried when he started to reach for his card again.

Her jumpy behavior caused Max to narrow his eyes with suspicion. “What is it, Isabel?” he demanded carefully. Isabel dropped her eyes guiltily, a reaction that caused Max’s belly to fill with a sick feeling of dread. He snapped his wallet closed. “He canceled all my cards, didn’t he?” Max deduced flatly.

“This morning,” Isabel confirmed.

“And my summer tuition,” Max prodded tightly, “That wasn’t an accident either, huh?”

Isabel lifted brown eyes full of pity to his shattered gaze. “Max, I’m so sorry,” she murmured, “He’s just so unbelievably furious with you. He and Mr. Parker aren’t even on speaking terms right now.”

“O-okay,” Max replied dully. He turned back to the waiting officer in the window. “Just leave the car,” he said, his tone devoid of emotion, “I’ll come back for it later. Isabel, can you take me home, please?”

“You…you mean home, like, as in our house?” Isabel stammered in uncertainty.

“No, I mean the house I share with Liz,” Max clarified tightly, “That’s the only home I’ve ever had.”

But it appeared that place was no longer his home either because when Max made it back to the house it was to discover that all his belongings had been strewn across the lawn and the door locks completely changed. Max had thought he’d reached the zenith of pain the other night when he called Kyle and discovered that… Well, he wouldn’t think of it now, but he’d imagined that nothing could hurt worse than that. But there were worse things. Feeling as if you had no one else left in the world that cared about you could be soul shattering. At that point Max couldn’t even cry. He didn’t think there were any more tears left inside him to shed.

With a hardening heart, Max slowly loped across the lawn and gathered together his scattered possessions.
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Deejonaise
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Post by Deejonaise »

Chapter Forty-One

It was sunny and brilliant and full of activity in central Florida. There was always something to do, someplace to go, some entertainment to occupy the time. Honestly, the state could be called the American Mecca of entertainment. She shared a two-bedroom apartment with Maria DeLuca Valenti that overlooked the ocean. Her father had been more than generous when providing her with an expense account and anything else she could have asked for. Liz knew that it was guilt that compelled her father to splurge in such an outrageous fashion but she did nothing to stop him. After the emotional hell he’d put her through Liz thought she deserved to be pampered. Unfortunately, having money and recreation available just at her fingertips didn’t dispel the empty feeling that had been growing in Liz’s heart since she’d left Roswell.

It had been one week. Seven days. One hundred and sixty hours of pure agony since she’d last spoken to Max. Instead of her thoughts being flooded with the memory of her last conversation with Tess or even that awful kiss she had witnessed Liz couldn’t purge his last phone message from her mind, couldn’t forget the broken torment in Max’s voice when he left it.

Liz flopped back against her bed with a despondent sigh. She should have let him explain, she finally admitted to herself. Now that some of the hurt had worn away and Liz’s wasn’t so furious she could see the situation a great deal clearer. First of all, she knew absolutely that the Max she had known for nearly all her life would just not pick up and go make out with another woman when he had committed already himself to someone else. There had to be something more to the story than that. Something must have happened with Tess to provoke that kiss, something Liz still didn’t fully understand. Secondly, she knew that if he’d actually left her alone in bed that night he reason must have been a good one. Max wouldn’t have just deliberately set out to hurt her. His actions may have been stupid and insensitive, but Liz couldn’t believe they were baseless altogether.

So it was quite evident that Max hadn’t left her alone just to reconcile with Tess. At least, Liz didn’t think so. Even the conversation she had with Tess the day she left was beginning to seem contrived. Certainly if Max had really gone back to Tess she wouldn’t have felt the need to come to Liz’s home personally to gloat. It seemed more likely that Tess had come to make Liz feed even more fully into the belief that Tess and Max were together. The theory made complete sense. Max would have never reconciled with Tess only to call Liz a few hours later and beg her to reconcile with him as well. Liz had known then, but she had let her anger override her reason.

Now she realized that she’d acted too hastily. Not only with making assumptions about what had really gone on between Max and Tess, but also for leaving without telling Max about the baby. That had just been utterly spiteful on her part. Though Liz knew that her pregnancy wouldn’t exactly be welcome news to Max she also knew that he would love their baby in spite of that. Max had a gentle heart with an abundance of love to give. There was little doubt in Liz’s mind that he would embrace their child with the same loving affection he shared with everyone.

The situation was becoming clearer and clearer to her as the days wore on. Unfortunately, Liz recognized she had only managed to complicate matters incredibly by allowing Max to think she’d spent the night with Kyle. That had not been the most sterling moment in her life. She didn’t have any real excuse for her behavior at all. Though Max had hurt her countless times in the past none of those times had been deliberate. When she had allowed him to think she’d slept with Kyle…that had been sheer cruelty and Liz knew it. So one immature act was traded for another. Yup, a real smart move…

Liz flung her forearm across her eyes in self-disgust. Instead of sitting down and talking to Max about her anger like a calm, rational adult instead she’d resorted to that age old, childish “if you did it to me then I’m gonna do it to you” attitude. And it had helped so much, Liz thought with eye rolling sarcasm.

In the still quiet of her bedroom Liz faced the harsh reality. She was not ready for a baby. She hadn’t been ready for marriage either. For a long while she’d laid the blame completely at Max’s feet, shouldering none for herself. But now she realized that she’d been just as immature and inexperienced as he had been.

Even after a friendship that spanned nearly ten years neither of them had learned a single thing about communication. Liz supposed she knew why. Before she and Max got married Liz had never harbored any expectations for him. She loved him, but she had never expected him to love her back. He was just Max, the guy she adored from afar and her best friend. Liz had been content with that once.

But then they had gotten married and all Liz’s expectations for Max changed. No longer was it acceptable that he didn’t love her back, no longer was it acceptable that she wasn’t placed as priority number one. There was absolutely nothing wrong with Liz having those expectations either, the problem was that she’d never told Max that she felt that way. Instead she had expected him to read her mind, never taking the time to verbally address her concerns. Yes, Liz knew she was at fault just as much as Max.

Once they were married the two of them could barely manage to communicate with each other like normal human beings. They lacked the maturity, patience and respect needed to make for a healthy marriage. Liz didn’t at all think that divorcing was a bad thing. She and Max definitely needed to take some time to grow, even if that meant growing apart from each other. Liz only hoped that when it was all said and done they could salvage the friendship they’d once had, if for no other reason than the child they’d created together.

She caressed her hand over her tummy. No, she didn’t regret asking for the divorce. Liz thought that it was necessary for both her peace of mind and for Max’s, too. She merely regretted how she’d gone about asking for it. They way she’d chosen to break things off had been beyond cold. She regretted that most. Liz was quickly discovering that she regretted a lot of things.

Miserable and thoroughly depressed, Liz rolled onto her belly and fumbled around in her rumpled sheets for the remote control to her stereo. She clicked it on and cranked up the volume as loud as she could stand it but still the music did little to drown out her thoughts. Liz buried her head into her pillow, just praying for oblivion to overcome her. Guilt and uncertainty were warring back and forth inside her and it was beginning to make her sick.

Her raucous solace was silenced a few minutes later when Maria stalked into her bedroom, barefoot and fuming, and clicked off her stereo. Liz rolled over onto her back to face a very disgruntled, very sleepy Maria.

“Liz, it’s 3 a.m.,” she ground out irritably, “Can’t you find another way to vent?”

“Was it too loud?” Liz wondered dully.

Maria leveled her with a bland look. “My walls were vibrating a few seconds ago,” she replied pithily, “Does that answer your question?”

“Sorry.” However, there wasn’t an ounce of remorse evident in Liz’s tone when she said it and she and Maria were both aware of that fact.

Maria rolled her eyes, bracing her shoulder against the doorjamb. “Why don’t you just call him already?” she suggested with an annoyed sigh.

“Call who?” Liz asked in feigned ignorance.

“Don’t be an idiot! You know who I’m talking about.” Maria’s tone softened considerably when she added, “You know you want to…you want him to know about the baby so bad you dream about it.”

Liz could have continued to play coy at that point but she wasn’t in the mood. The truth was that she did want Max to know about the baby. She did dream about it, long, elaborate dreams where she told him the truth and somehow the three of them managed to become a family, a real family. She wanted to share with him this wonder and awe she felt on a daily basis. There was a little tiny person growing inside her. Already it had a little tiny heartbeat. Every time Liz thought of it she got chills. She was going to be a mother and…god, Max was going to be a father…and he needed to know that.

It had actually been her thoughts about the baby and sharing the news with Max that had gotten her to start thinking clearly about her childish behavior when handling the Tess situation. She couldn’t very well raise a child if she was acting like a child herself. Still, becoming an adult and acting like one was a lot harder than Liz imagined.

She stared up at the ceiling, tears of remorse and regret leaking from the corners of her eyes. “And if I call him what do I say, Maria?” she challenged sarcastically, “Do I go, ‘Oh, hi Max. I kinda forgot to mention it to ya before I left town, but I’m pregnant. Hope that won’t be a problem since I live in Florida now.’ I don’t think that’s gonna fly.”

“Well, it’s obvious that keeping it from him is making you sick,” Maria countered sagely, “That can’t be good for the baby, Liz.” Again Liz knew Maria was right so she didn’t bother to argue. “Go ahead and call him,” Maria urged.

“It’s a three hour time difference,” Liz argued lamely.

“I’m sure he won’t care,” Maria insisted, tossing the phone onto Liz’s bed, “Call him, Liz…or I will be forced to kill you.” With that she left Liz alone to stare at the cordless as if it were alive.

Mentally counting to ten Liz quickly snatched up the phone and dialed Max’s cell number before she thought about it too much. It didn’t even ring one good time before she got a recorded message from the cellular provider saying that the number was no longer listed. Liz frowned. She couldn’t figure out why Max would suddenly decide to get rid of his cell phone.

Her curiosity piqued Liz decided to put in a call to their home number. A few minutes later she discovered that number had been disconnected as well. Liz’s mild curiosity gradually escalated to an uncomfortable panic. She next tried calling Isabel but received a voice mail that wasn’t hers. Obviously, Isabel had changed her cell number. That last discovery filled Liz with quiet dread. She didn’t want to take the chance of calling the Evans home directly for fear she’d get Philip on the phone. Left with little alternative Liz turned to her last resort: her brother.

Michael wasn’t at all happy with Max currently. He had beyond livid when he found out what happened with Tess. Liz had actually had to threaten never to speak to him again just to keep him from going out and beating Max senseless. Still, despite all the present animosity between the two of them, they had been friends once. Michael had to have some indication of what was going on with Max.

Liz dialed the private line to his bedroom, blowing out several exasperated breaths when the phone proceeded to ring eight times before he picked up.

“What?” Michael growled in his most surly tone.

“Michael, it’s me,” Liz chirped brightly. She didn’t want Michael to suspect the real reason for her call otherwise he’d shut her down immediately. Liz figured she’d have better results if she were subtle, although it was hard to be subtle when she was calling him at twelve in the morning. “So how’s it going?” she asked casually.

“Liz, I was asleep,” Michael groaned out, as if that fact had completely escaped her notice and then he suddenly added, his tone tinged with alarm, “Did something happen? Is it the baby?”

“No, the baby’s fine,” Liz reassured him quickly, “At least…I think it is. I don’t have my first official OBGYN appointment for another few weeks.”

“Okay, well if the baby’s alright then why are you calling so late?”

“I wanted to know when you were coming down here to visit Maria,” Liz prevaricated.

“What?”

“She talks about you all the time, you know,” Liz gushed on, “It’s Michael this and Michael that. I think she’s half in love with you already.” Liz knew that Maria would probably kill her later for telling such bald faced lies but her cause was noble. Maria would just have to get over it.

“Really,” Michael said, suddenly no longer sleepy. He pushed himself upright in his bed. “She’s been asking about me? What does she say?”

“You know…just the usual, asking if you have a girlfriend and all that,” Liz replied irreverently, “I told her you were a dog and she should stay away from you.”

“You didn’t!”

“I did,” Liz confirmed, “And I will continue to do so if you don’t do me a couple of teeny, tiny favors.”

“What favors?” Michael asked suspiciously.

“Well, for starters you can tell me why the phone to the house has been disconnected.”

Michael immediately went into alarm mode. He stiffened, his entire body wired with tension. “Why would you be calling the house in the first place,” he asked her carefully. But the question was inane. He already knew damned well why she’d been calling. Liz confirmed his suspicions with her next words.

“I need to speak to Max.”

Michael grunted several disgusted curses. “Why the fuck are you doing this to yourself?” he demanded shortly.

“Doing what?” Liz retorted, taking instant offense at his caustic tone, “I want to tell him that I’m having his baby. Why is that a crime?”

“You’re borrowing trouble.”

“Don’t quote Grandma Claudia to me,” Liz snapped out in annoyance, “I know what I’m doing. I never should have kept this from him in the first place.” Her tone softened with imploration as she continued. “I just need to know where he is, Michael. His cell phone’s been disconnected, too. I don’t know how to reach him.”

“What exactly do you think telling him is gonna accomplish?” Michael bit out brutally, “Do you think he’s gonna come running back into your arms when you do? Do you think it’s gonna be happily ever after or some shit like that?”

“I want him to know the truth,” Liz insisted stonily, “Just tell me where he is.”

“He’s with Tess,” Michael lied wildly. He hadn’t intended on doing so but Liz’s insistence on telling Max the truth had thrown him into a panic. Ever since Liz had left Max had been persistent on finding out where she’d gone. He had already gone to jail three times in that week alone, each time his bail being set even higher than the last time. As far as Michael knew Max was still in the slammer from that last violation. But of course he couldn’t tell Liz that. She’d go nuts and insist on catching the first plane back to Roswell if she knew. Michael was absolutely NOT going to let that happen. His sister was only inches away from being happy again and Michael wasn’t going to let anyone wreck it.

Max Evans had already broken his sister’s heart to pieces once and Michael would be damned if he just stood idly by and let the bastard do it again. Though it galled him to sink to his father’s level Michael didn’t see that he’d been left with much choice. Liz was allowing her feelings of love to blind her once again. Having already begun with his lie Michael decided to go the full distance. “Max and Tess are living together now.”

Liz almost dropped the phone. She hadn’t expected such painfully shocking news. She actually felt hollow in the pit of her stomach. Obviously, her attempt to convince Max that she’d slept with Kyle had worked brilliantly, so brilliantly that Liz had forced him right back into Tess’ arms for real. Liz felt as if the world had crumbled out from beneath her. “They’re living together?” she repeated in a whisper made thready and thick with her tears, “No…that can’t be true.”

“They live together, alright,” Michael repeated brutally, “Max has been disinherited and everything.” At least that part wasn’t a lie. Philip Evans had officially carted Max out on his ass. To Michael’s knowledge Max didn’t even have a place to stay…if you didn’t count the jail. “Look, it’s a done deal. They’re together now.”

Liz swallowed against the painful lump in her throat. It hurt to think that Max was with Tess once more, but Liz was surprised that her resolve to tell Max the truth still remained. She told Michael so.

“Are you crazy?” he exploded irately, “I just told you that Max and Tess are back together! Doesn’t that mean anything to you?” He’d thought his lie would be enough to deter Liz from going through with her decision. He’d been wrong.

“It doesn’t matter if he and Tess are together,” Liz answered gruffly, “He still deserves to know the truth.”

“And what happens when he knows,” Michael countered tersely, his mind latching on to a different angle, “Are you willing to share custody with him knowing that when he has your baby that Tess will be there as well? Do you want your kid to someday end up calling Tessa Harding Mommy? Are you really prepared for the major custody battle that’s gonna go down when Philip Evans realizes you’re carrying his grandchild?” Michael knew that his questions had hit a nerve because for the first time Liz didn’t have any response for him whatsoever. On the other end of the phone Michael was careful to mask his sigh of relief. “It’s something to think about, sis.”
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Deejonaise
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Post by Deejonaise »

Chapter Forty-Two

“You’re driving me crazy doing that.”

Liz paused in the task of biting off her fingernail and spitting it out the open window to favor Maria with a blank look. “Doing what?” she asked absently.

Maria reached across the gearshift and yanked up Liz’s hand so that it was at eye level. “This,” she stressed in exasperation, “You’ve bitten them down to nubs! What is the point of a manicure if you just go and ruin it right after it’s done?” She dropped her hand with an offended sigh.

It was supposed to be a girls’ day of fun. Unfortunately, with Liz’s continual moping the day hadn’t been filled with very much fun at all. Though Liz had spent a truckload of money of clothes and baby items, (Liz had promised that she’d wait until after her first doctor’s appointment, but the cute yellow and green jumpers had just been much too tempting.), her mind had constantly revolved around that last conversation she had with Michael. It had been a month already and Liz was still playing every word back in her head. She was still torn between licking her wounds and doing the right thing.

Learning that Max and Tess were together now was a blow and not just to her heart either. Liz didn’t only feel hurt at the knowledge, but she’d also managed to lose what little respect she’d had left for Max in the first place. She had never truly believed Max to be weak or spineless until after that conversation. That he could slink back to Tess after the horrible way she’d mistreated and manipulated him just made Liz sick. It was that very bitterness that had kept Liz fighting against the calls of her conscience for so long.

She knew that Max was probably devastated by what had gone on between them but running back to Tess had just been beyond foolish. It was yet another sign to Liz that Max had never been ready for marriage. She couldn’t help but wonder that if he had trouble swinging the role as husband how the hell would he ever manage as a father?

Liz caught herself in mid-mental rant. She wasn’t much better. Not an hour after she decided to leave Max she had shamelessly thrown herself at Kyle. Liz knew better than anyone the stupid decisions one made when in pain. And Max had to be hurting. He’d been disowned after all. He probably thought the only person he had to turn to was Tess. It was unfortunate that he had not yet gathered just how superficial Tess Harding really was and that she would leave him flat on his ass when times got too rough.

Which was the very reason she’d decided to tell him about the baby. He’d already endured enough misery with more to come now that he’d allowed Tess back into his life; he needed to hear some joyful news. And Liz, well she needed to unburden this horrible load of guilt that had been growing heavier and heavier as the weeks passed. She wanted to tell Max the truth. She really did. It was just the idea of calling him knowing that he and Tess were living together simply galled her.

“I’m going to strangle you,” Maria ground out a few minutes later when Liz continued to chew at her nails. “We’re supposed to be having fun, remember?”

“Um…fun?” Liz scoffed sardonically, “What exactly is that again?”

“God, you’re beginning to depress me,” Maria muttered under her breath, “Is there even any point on going to the beach or are you just going to continue your moping spree there?”

“What do you want me to do?” Liz snapped irritably, “I’m sorry if I can’t be happy, happy, happy all the damned time!”

“The problem is that you’re never happy,” Maria retorted, “I thought you moved out here to escape your misery, okay?”

“I did,” Liz mumbled.

“Then what’s wrong with you?” Maria demanded tonelessly. But when she flicked a glance over at Liz and realized the younger girl looked near tears Maria reined in her justified impatience. Maria actually felt sorry for Liz. She had endured more heartache in the last two months than women twice her age experienced in a lifetime. The whole idea of being betrothed without your consent just seemed too ludicrous for words to Maria. Honestly, she knew that such a thing was still acceptable in their society it was just that hardly anyone ever did it anymore. The tradition was considered barbaric by most and yet, despite all that, Liz had been contracted into marriage. Her own parents treated her little better than property.

And now what did she have to show for it? She was only sixteen and already she was on her way to divorce and motherhood all in one fell swoop. Maria was surprised that the girl was even sane at this point. But she also couldn’t negate the fact that Liz had brought most of this misery on herself. If she’d only told Max from the beginning how she felt about Tess perhaps they might have been able to work past their differences. Maria would have told Liz just that if she didn’t think the words would send Liz off the precipice of despair.

Instead Maria addressed a concern that had been niggling at her for weeks now. “I don’t guess your conversation with Max went all that well, huh,” she prodded gently.

Liz spit yet another fingernail fragment out the window. “Actually I didn’t talk to him,” she mumbled reluctantly.

Maria wanted to groan in frustration. “I thought you were calling him.”

“I did,” Liz replied defensively, “His phone has been disconnected. I know he’s not at his parents so I don’t know where else to reach him.” Well, she did…in a way, but Liz didn’t want to think that one over too much.

“What? Did he move or something?”

“Sort of,” Liz hedged.

Maria slid her a suspicious glance. “What is that supposed to mean?”

“Michael told me that Max and Tess are living together now,’ Liz confessed miserably, “Max has even been disinherited because of it.”

Her frustration and annoyance reaching epic proportions, Maria stamped her foot, inadvertently accelerating the car speed when she did. She muttered a few choice curses under her breath before finally tossing Liz a look of cynical bemusement. “You guys were definitely not ready for marriage,” she commented dryly, “Just what the hell were your parents smoking anyway?”

Liz only shrugged in response, taking no offense at the question. It was something she’d wondered quite frequently herself in the last few weeks. What on earth had possessed her parents to marry her off at sixteen to a boy they knew was involved with someone else? Liz could only think of one plausible answer. Greed. Her father had wanted a piece of Philip Evans’ company and he had used his own daughter to get it. Liz hadn’t at all bought into her father’s explanation that his motives had been driven by true love. True love was only involved if he was speaking about his affection for the almighty buck.

Yet even though Liz could coldly recognize that fact it still hurt beyond reason that her father could think so little of her. She wished otherwise. She wanted to go back to the days when she lived in ignorant bliss and believed that her dad actually loved her. It hurt less that way.

And now things had been messed up beyond all repair. The mess just got deeper and deeper as the days went on. Liz knew she could put a stop to it, however. She knew she could end it just by making a few calls to find out exactly where Max was. Liz just didn’t know if she had the heart to do it.

She had faced some hard facts in the last three weeks, namely that she was not ready to be married nor did she want to be…not to Max or anyone else for that matter. But not wanting to be married to Max and being in love with him were two entirely different things. Even now, with her swamping confusion and loss of respect for him Liz still loved Max. She still wanted him to be happy the same as she always had. She still didn’t want to hurt him and she knew that keeping her pregnancy a secret from him would do just that.

The problem was that, whereas telling him the truth would alleviate his pain it would only serve to elevate hers. Michael had brought up some valid points. Liz would rather chew broken glass than have her child reared in the same household with Tessa Harding. Just that argument alone was nearly enough to compel Liz to keep her pregnancy a secret. Nearly. Still, the idea of Tess being anywhere near her baby…

She would just have to tell Max how she felt. Even if it meant she might come off as harsh and embittered Liz promised herself that she would never again keep her feelings bottled away, especially from Max. If they were going to give their child any kind of life the two of them would have to learn to communicate with each other.

Liz didn’t realize that she’d even made the decision to tell Max the truth until that thought. Her timing actually couldn’t have been better either. Next week was her very first appointment with the doctor. If things worked out as Liz hoped they would she’d be able to share those first details of her visit with Max. Setting her teeth in steely determination, Liz scooped up her purse from the car floor and began digging around inside for her phone.

“You gonna try and call Max again?” Maria asked and Liz could hardly miss the prideful edge she heard in her friend’s tone.

“I’m gonna call someone who may know where he is,” Liz countered, already punching in the number to Alex’s job. She was connected with Mario’s Pizzeria two rings later. “Hello, may I speak with Alex Whitman, please?” she asked politely.

Though the manager seemed disgruntled over one of his employees receiving a personal call on his time clock he obliged Liz by going to fetch Alex. Liz held on for about a minute more before Alex finally picked up with a tentative hello.

“Hey, Alex,” Liz greeted lamely, “It’s Liz. How’s it going?”

“Liz?” he repeated sarcastically, “Liz who? I had a friend named Liz once, but then she moved to Florida and fell completely off the face of the earth!” he finished in a hyperbolized shout, “Why the hell haven’t you called me?”

“I…I know I’ve been avoiding you--,”

“So that’s what you call not returning the hundred emails and voice mails I’ve left you in the last three weeks?” Alex interrupted casually, “I thought you had died.”

“I felt bad, okay!” Liz wheedled remorsefully, “You know…for asking you to lie to Isabel and everything. I knew the two of you were getting so close and I felt like a complete idiot for putting you in such an awkward position.”

Alex’s blew out the remainder of his irritation in a defeated sigh. “Oh, forget about it,” he said dryly, “You’ve been avoiding me…and I’ve been avoiding Isabel. I face her on an everyday basis knowing that I have this huge secret that she deserves to know and I can’t tell her.” He sighed again. “I’m just glad you’re alright. You are, aren’t you…cuz you don’t usually call me at work.”

“I’m fine,” Liz assured him, “At least, physically. This whole thing with Tess and Max has just been wigging me out big time.”

“Yeah, about that Liz,” Alex interjected quickly, “I don’t know how much there really is to their relationship, you know? I mean…I don’t get the impression that they’re together-together at all…Tess has been in a totally weird mood since you left. Hold on.” Alex covered the mouthpiece with his hand to quickly assure his impatient boss that he’d end his phone call shortly.

But Liz barely registered being put on hold. Her heart was slamming against her ribs with the beginning of what Alex had said. He didn’t think there was much to their relationship? How could he say that when they were living together? What kind of mood had Tess been in and how did it relate to her situation with Max? Liz’s head was pounding with the unanswered questions when Alex came back to the phone. “Listen, Liz, I’ll call you later tonight. Mario is chewing my ass out for being on the phone right now.”

“Whoa, wait a minute,” Liz cried out frantically, “What do you mean you haven’t seen Max around? Why would you since he and Tess are living together and everything?”

Alex guffawed. “Huh? What?” he sputtered out, “Where did you hear something so ridiculous? There’s no way Tess would risk getting disowned just to set up house with Max, okay.”

Damn, Michael! Liz went completely numb inside, her mind already concluding the truth. In her entire life Liz didn’t think she’d ever felt as coldly furious as she did right at that moment. They had done it to her again. Her family, the people who were supposed to love her…they’d manipulated her one more time. Tears stung the back of Liz’s eyes and she gripped her cell phone with almost bruising force. “Max and Tess don’t live together,” she asked Alex carefully.

Belatedly realizing she was completely serious in her questions Alex swallowed his laughter. “No, Liz,” he replied earnestly, “They’re not living together. The fact is that I haven’t seen Max around here since before you left for Florida.” He heaved an exasperated sigh when his boss went into yet another round of griping. “Liz,” he said quickly, “I can see you’re really confused about all this…how about I call you tonight when I get off work, okay?”

“Yeah, do that,” Liz told him.

When she finished punching the end button and looked up it was to find Maria shooting her expectant glances. “Well,” Maria prodded eagerly, “What did you find out?”

“That I can’t even trust my own family,” Liz replied softly, turning her forlorn gaze towards the open window.
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Deejonaise
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Post by Deejonaise »

Chapter Forty-Three

Max had been on his own for more than a month. It had been harder than he could have ever imagined. Many nights he’d gone to bed hungry because he couldn’t spare the money to buy food. His material decisions came down to the bare necessities most days. Did he want to eat or did he want to have a place to stay? Almost always a place to stay won out over his hunger, although it wasn’t uncommon for him to crash overnight in his car if it came to that.

When he first realized that his father was truly serious about disinheriting him Max had been almost paralyzed with shock. Those first few nights after he’d been cut off Max spent sleeping in his car. Isabel had insisted on the impoundment fee, which is the only reason Max really had anywhere to go at all. He’d had to swallow much of his pride in allowing her to do it, but when it came to groveling at his father’s feet for another chance Max steadfastly refused. He’d sleep in his car for the rest of his life, hell, he’d starve to death before he ever asked Philip Evans for a damned thing!

With the exception of Isabel, everyone in his who had ever mattered to him had believed the worst about him…even Liz. That fact hurt more than he’d dreamed anything could. When he wasn’t worried about where his next meal would come from or how he’d pay for his room his thoughts were consumed with her. That first week without her had been agony. Max had acted like a crazy man most of that time and he knew it. But his constant provocation of Jeff Parker had earned him nothing but three nights in jail, a court date and an assault charge on his permanent record. He still had no idea where Liz was and he was beginning to think that it had been for the best that she’d left.

He couldn’t even blame her for running, couldn’t fault her for believing the worst of him. He really hadn’t given her any reason to expect anything more from him. The first two months of their marriage he’d continually put her on the backburner for Tess. And then finally when he does make up his mind to commit to her he turns around and does the same thing all over again.

It didn’t matter that his intentions had been noble or that he hadn’t intentionally hurt Liz. The fact remained that he had. Max examined his actions closely, not just that day but also all the days that preceded it and he’d come to learn one unassailable truth: he wasn’t ready for marriage. In some odd, disjointed way he was glad Liz had petitioned for divorce. He regretted the loss of their friendship and all the months of pain and heartbreak he’d inflicted. He especially regretted losing Liz because the feelings she’d evoked within him had been nothing short of magical.

However, Max couldn’t help being flooded with a sense of relief, a gladness that it was finally over. He didn’t’ want to go on hurting Liz indefinitely and Max knew that if they’d remained married that’s exactly what he would have done. He made for a lousy husband. Liz had known it and now he knew it as well. Perhaps this way Liz might be able to find the happiness he’d been unable to give her.

But he missed her. There was no denying that. He missed the way she hummed under her breath whenever she was happy and the obnoxious snort she made whenever she laughed and, though he’d only known the joy for two, short days, he missed waking up beside her as well. He could still remember how innocently vulnerable and small she looked lying beside him, her hair all tangled and rumpled…like she’d always belonged there. He had watched her sleep, even long before they began sharing her room. Sometimes before he would leave for Tess’ he had crept into her room to watch her sleep then. In those days it was the only time when he felt free to touch her.

Now it looked like he would never touch her again. Liz was somewhere she could be happy, perhaps even forging ahead in a new relationship with Valenti. Max hoped devoutly that she’d found the love she craved and deserved. After the deplorable circumstances under which they’d been wedded and the subsequent months of misery that followed it he wanted Liz to experience nothing less than ecstatic joy for the rest of her life. Max hoped Valenti could provide that for her. Well, half hoped, he amended to himself. The thought of Liz being with someone else still caused a raw ache in his heart. Max supposed that ache would be there for a long time to come.

Shaking his head clear of his gloomy thoughts, Max waited out in front of his ratty motel room for Isabel to come and pick him up for work. He’d only recently decided to sell the Vette for some extra cash. Having the extra cushion for his finances was good but, unfortunately, his decision had left him without transportation. He took a bus to work sometimes and walked others, however, some days Isabel would just be full of pity and insistent upon giving him a ride. Today was one of those days.

She pulled up in her sporty red convertible only a few minutes after Max has stepped outside. He flung himself into the passenger’s seat with barely a grunt of hello.

“Wow, you’re all sunshine and roses this evening,” she mocked wryly as she stamped the gas pedal.

“Can you please just drive?” Max groaned, rubbing his temples in a gesture of weariness, “I’m going to be late as it is.” He settled himself back into his seat then, preparing himself for the lecture he knew was coming. He didn’t have to wait very long.

“You know,” Isabel began crossly and Max had to repress his eye rolling reaction, “this could all be cleared up easily if you just went to Dad and explained the situation.”

“Isabel, we’ve been through this a million times already.”

“Then let’s make it a million and one,” she insisted stubbornly, “Why won’t you talk to him? I know that Dad can be a controlling bastard sometimes but, he does love us in his own warped way.”

“I’ve tried talking to him, okay!” Max retorted shortly, “He won’t listen to anything I have to say. I’m tired of trying to explain myself to him. If he wants to believe I ruined his business dealings as well as a twenty year friendship then that’s on him.” He didn’t know why Isabel was acting so surprised over their father’s stubbornness either. It had taken him over a week to finally convince her once and for all that he and Tess were finished.

“You know you could just call Liz…” Isabel recommended meekly.

Max shot her a withering glance. “Now why didn’t I think of that, Isabel? Oh, I know, because I have no idea where the fuck she is,” he finished with biting sarcasm.

“You’re in a terrible mood,” Isabel observed tartly.

The scolding in her tone instantly filled Max with regret. She didn’t deserve her rancor. Out of all the people in his life she’d been the one to stand by him, really the person he least expected to do so. Max loved his sister without a doubt but it was a well-known fact that Isabel Evans tended to be quite self-centered at times. Yet, since this whole debacle had gone down with Liz she had been nothing short of caring and compassionate. She hadn’t even put up a fuss when the reporters began haranguing her so badly about his and Liz’s breakup that she was forced to change her cell number. Honestly, had it not been for Isabel’s unflagging support in the last few weeks Max would have seriously lost it. Realizing all these things, Max grunted an apology.

“Don’t sweat it,” Isabel teased him, nudging his shoulder playfully, “I know it’s just your hunger talking.” Max didn’t even blink in response. Isabel’s heart crumpled with renewed pity. She hated seeing him so miserable especially because it was so unlike Max to be bitter. “Max, tell me what’s really bothering you,” she insisted gently.

“You mean aside from the fact Liz left me and I have no place to live,” Max remarked acerbically.

Isabel quirked her lips in an ironic smile. “Yeah…aside from that.”

Max flicked a nod towards her windshield. “Take a look in your rearview mirror,” he ordered vaguely. Isabel’s features scrunched into a bewildered grimace. “Just look,” Max told her again.

With an air of impatience Isabel did as he asked. However, as she stared into the mirror her frown of annoyance gradually became a frown of horror. “Oh my god,” she uttered, “Is that--,”

“She’s been following me for a week now,” Max replied tiredly, “At first I thought it was just a coincidence. I’d go to the market and she’d be there. I’d go to the bank and she’d be there, too. It wasn’t until she showed up at my job earlier this week that I figured out what was really going on.”

“Has she said anything to you?” Isabel asked, her disquieted gaze flicking between the rearview mirror and the road, “I mean…this is just too weird.”

“I don’t know what to do, Isabel!” Max cried softly, “I’ve told her a hundred different times in a hundred different ways that I don’t want anything to do with her, yet she’s everywhere I turn and everywhere I go. It’s really creeping me out.”

“Not to mention stressing you out,” Isabel surmised, “No wonder you’re so snappy. Have you tried calling the police and getting a restraining order?”

“Are you kidding?” Max scoffed cynically, “This is Edward Harding’s daughter we’re talking about here! He has half the Roswell police force in his back pocket. There’s no way they would issue a restraining order against his precious daughter.”

Isabel cast another fretful glance at the mirror. “Max, this isn’t healthy,” she said worriedly, “The girl is stalking you.”

“You don’t think I know that?” he ground out, “But there’s nothing I can do about it. I keep hoping that if I continue to ignore her she’ll eventually give up and leave me alone.”

“How’s that been working out for you so far?” Isabel mocked tensely.

“Not very well.”

This craziness with Tess was an added stress he hadn’t anticipated. Max had hoped, despite her ominous last words that Tess would move on with her life and let him move on with his. However, since she’d learned that Liz had left town she had been after him with a vengeance. It was as if she actually believed he would turn to her just because Liz was no longer in the picture. Of course, that was never going to happen. If anything, the preceding few weeks had proven to Max that nothing he did would ever make Tess happy. He couldn’t take responsibility for her well being any longer.

For a long time now he had believed that Tess’ emotional stability and happiness rested on his shoulders. After all, it had been following the miscarriage that all her anxiety problems had begun to manifest themselves. And with the circumstances surrounding the loss of their child Max had felt responsible for Tess’ shaky mental state. He’d mistakenly believed he could somehow fix whatever was broken inside her. Unfortunately, he had only made the situation worse instead of better. Max understood now that Tess hadn’t broken with the miscarriage, she had been broken long before that point, but it was that last traumatic event that had shattered her completely.

She needed help. Max knew that now, just like he knew that he couldn’t be the one to give it to her. Not anymore. Since Liz had gone he had told Tess that in many different ways, sometimes gentle, sometimes forceful and yet none of the ways he’d approached her had sunken through. She was tenacious, hardhearted, unwilling to see anything beyond that obscure possibility that she and Max might reconcile. It was quickly becoming apparent to Max that Tess was quite unstable. Part of him was ridiculously grateful that Liz had left town when she did. Had she stayed she would have probably been subjected to Tess’ erratic behavior as well.

“Max, she’s following me too close!”

Isabel’s frantic words burst through Max’s inner musings. He tossed a glance over his shoulder to affirm that Tess was indeed following Isabel closely. A moment later they felt the unmistakable nudge of her car.

“Oh my god,” Isabel burst out in a panic, “Did she just hit us?” Another nudge, but more forceful this time.

Max hissed out a stinging curse. “Just pull over,” he directed Isabel calmly, “I’ll handle this, okay.” The moment Isabel rolled the car to a stop Max hopping from the vehicle and stalking straight for Tess, who had pulled over as well. “What the fuck is the matter with you?” he raged, finally reaching the ends of his test patience, “Have you fucking lost your mind! You could have killed us!”

“Stop exaggerating,” Tess breezed with a dismissive wave of her hand, “I hardly tapped you guys. See,” she added, patting the front of her fender, “I barely left a scratch.”

“You’re nuts,” Max spat out in appalled disgust.

“And you’ve been avoiding me,” Tess countered mildly.

Max could have screamed in sheer frustration right then. “Avoiding you?”

“You haven’t returned any of my messages,” Tess replied calmly, “I know you’re getting them because the desk clerk told me so.”

“I haven’t taken your messages because I don’t want to talk to you! How many ways do I have to say this,” Max moaned in a long-suffering sigh, “I don’t want to see you, I don’t want to speak to you. We are over, Tess. O. V. E. R,” he spelled out precisely, “Leave me the hell alone!”

“I just don’t understand why we can’t be friends,” Tess said, negating all he’d just told her beforehand, “We used to be such great friends, Max.”

“I’m not having this conversation with you! You’re obviously beyond all rational thought,” Max intoned, pivoting on his heel to walk away.

“Do you think it’s so very easy to get rid of me, Max?” Tess asked softly, the silky thread of menace in her tone stopping Max’s completely in his tracks. “I don’t want to have to hurt you like you’ve hurt me.”

Max slowly swung around to face her. “Are you threatening me?”

Her blue eyes were clear and glassy as she regarded him. “Of course not, Max,” she replied sweetly, “I would never threaten you, baby. I love you. I want us to be happy again and now that Liz is gone we can be.”

“Tess, you’re not well,” Max said, backing away from her slowly, “You need to get some help, okay.”

“I love you, baby,” she called after him as if her earlier horrifying behavior had never happened. She wiggled her fingers at him in good-bye. “I’ll see you later, okay. I know you didn’t mean to ignore me so I forgive you.” She blew him a kiss as she climbed back behind the wheel of her Mercedes Benz and sped off, honking the horn gaily as she did.

Isabel came to stand along side her brother just shaking from head to toe in disbelieving horror. She and Max continued to stare after Tess’ retreating taillights in speechless stupefaction. “What are you going to do about her?” she whispered.

“I’m gonna call her dad,” Max said finally, shaking his head in regretful fear, “She’s completely out of control.”
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Post by Deejonaise »

Chapter Forty-Four

Her cell phone didn’t even ring one complete time before Liz clicked it on. “Hello, Alex,” she said anxiously, “Is that you?”

“Were you sleeping with the phone or something?”

“What took you so long?” Liz demanded impatiently, “The pizzeria closes at ten and it’s nearly twelve thirty your time.”

“Mario thought I should make up the time I spent taking my personal call,” Alex explained sarcastically, “Have I mentioned lately how much I love working? Yeah…really love it. So,” he said, switching abruptly from griping to the subject he knew that was on both their minds, “who in the world told you that Max and Tess are living together?”

Alex’s innocent question forcibly brought back to Liz’s mind how thoroughly she’d been deceived, not that it had been far from her mind anyway. She hadn’t yet called to confront Michael with his lie. She was still grappling with the emotional betrayal. Michael had set out to deliberately mislead her, completely disregarding the fact that he had ripped her heart out in the process. Liz wanted to hate him for his callous actions, but all she could feel was an encompassing sense of loss. It felt to Liz like she had no one left in the world. She couldn’t help but wonder if she couldn’t trust her family then whom really could she trust?

Liz decided this was the last time. She wouldn’t let herself be played for a fool ever again. After she’d meticulously gathered all the evidence to their perfidy Liz would confront her family with the truth…and then she would disown them. Fortunately, money would not be an issue…at least not for a while anyway. The first thing Liz had done upon moving to Florida was take a large chunk of the money her parents had given her out of the bank to set up in a personal savings account for herself. There was enough money to keep her well for at least six months if she was careful and once her divorce was final, Liz was going to get a nice, fat settlement from that as well.

But for Liz the issue was not about money. Though she would be financially secure Liz still felt like she had been dropped off in the middle of the desert to fend for herself. How could her family have been so emotionally barren, so damned corrupt to do this to her? How could they claim to love her and manipulate her so blatantly? Liz felt like she had no one to turn to at all. She was forever being disappointed and disillusioned, first by her father and then by Michael. The way things were going her mother would soon be jumping on the bandwagon as well.

When she first moved to Florida Liz had harbored the wild hope that they would be able to go back to the way things had been before. No matter what had happened or how high handed her father had been he was still her father. Liz wanted to believe he cared because facing the alternative was just beyond painful. But now Liz had no choice but to face the alternative. Her family didn’t love her. She was a possession to them and as long as she as willingly lived off their financial provisions she would never break free of their control.

She’d spent all night considering what breaking free of that hold would mean for her future. Certainly there would be no more cushy private school for her to attend. There would be no way for her to swing that monstrous tuition on her own. She could finish out her junior year, Liz realized, but next year was going to be a whole new story. That’s if she was even able to go back to school afterwards. Caring for a baby on her own at sixteen with no viable means of income…the odds for success were not in her favor.

Liz wasn’t foolish enough to believe that she could live off her divorce settlement forever. It would help assuredly, but there were so many other things to be considered, like health insurance, daycare, rent, life necessities, and even her baby’s college fund. She would be unable to continue sharing the apartment with Maria. Though they split the rent it was still an outrageous amount of money to pay on a monthly basis. If Liz stayed she’d be sure to go through her savings in six months.

And now Liz had no choice but to consider all these things. It was overwhelming and frightening and actually quite lonely, but Liz didn’t see that she had much of a choice any longer. However, she was further put into an awkward position with her pregnancy. Any job she acquired now would then have to be shoved aside when she had the baby. Liz didn’t know very much about the job world but she highly doubted that a pregnant, sixteen year old was a marketable employee. But definitely she would have to get a job after the baby was born.

Liz felt a wave of bitterness as the thoughts tumbled through her mind in a jumbled series of half formed plans. She was just sixteen for crying out loud! She shouldn’t have to be thinking about these things, about health insurance and dental plans…she shouldn’t be worried about how she would care for herself and her child. The loss of her innocence, her very childhood was yet another transgression Liz would never forgive her family for.

Presently, Liz roused herself from her internal musings of resentment and answered Alex’s question. “That doesn’t matter,” she replied stonily, “All that matters is that you’re absolutely sure it’s not true.”

“I’m absolutely sure,” Alex confirmed, “Tess is definitely still a resident of this house, although I don’t know for how long. Uncle Ed was really reading her the riot act when I got here. Apparently, things between her and Max are practically nonexistent. From what I heard tonight, Max called ol’ Ed tonight and accused Tess of stalking him.”

Liz couldn’t even be surprised. Nothing in her life was what it seemed anyway, why should learning that Max and Tess weren’t together and, evidently, had never been give her even a moment of pause? “Tess is stalking Max?”

“I don’t know if it’s true,” Alex answered, “I just know what I heard when I came home. That’s yet another reason I was late. They were fighting when I came in so I ducked out of sight until they were done.”

“You eavesdropped?” Liz surmised dryly, detecting what Alex had left unspoken.

“Well, yeah…sorta,” he confessed in chagrin, “Do you want to know what was said or have you heard enough about Max?”

“I want to know everything,” Liz told him, “Max is actually the reason I called you today. I want to tell him I’m pregnant, but I haven’t been able to find him. Our old number has been disconnected and I don’t know where else to look.”

“Have you tried calling his parents?” Alex suggested helpfully, “Or yours?”

“I can’t depend on either set to tell me the truth,” Liz muttered. Michael had said that Max was disinherited so there was little chance that his parents knew where Max was to begin with. Of course then, Michael had lied to her so it was possible he’d been lying about Max as well. She decided to ask Alex.

“I think I read an article about it a couple weeks back in the paper,” he said, “I left you a message but you never called me back.”

Liz couldn’t argue. She had been actively avoiding Alex for weeks now and had even begun arbitrarily deleting her voicemails and emails because she suspected that he’d been the one to send them. Liz hadn’t been doing so to deliberately hurt him. It was only that every time she considered calling him she felt inundated with guilt at the same time. She felt like hell for putting Alex in a position of having to lie. But what made her feel worse was the thought of calling to chat him up knowing she had no intention of relieving him from that position. Now that Liz had decided to come clean there was no need to avoid Alex any longer. However, she felt the need to apologize to him anyway even though her actions hadn’t been meant to cause him any deliberate heartache.

“That’s okay,” Alex reassured her, “I figured that was the reason you weren’t calling me back anyway. And besides, I thought you might need some time to adjust to the whole pregnancy/divorce thing. How’s that going by the way?”

“My father has excellent lawyers,” Liz replied acridly, “I’m expecting that everything will be final in another month or two.”

“Well, that’s a good thing, right?” Alex rallied cheerfully, “That is…unless you’ve changed your mind about the divorce now that you know the whole Max and Tess thing isn’t happening?”

“No, I haven’t changed my mind,” Liz sighed, “I definitely don’t want to be married right now. A divorce is still the best thing for everyone. I just need to find Max so I can tell him about the baby. I tried calling Isabel but I think she changed her cell number.”

“Well, I think she might be having a rough time of it with her family right now,” Alex considered, “I did try calling her a few weeks back when I found out about Max but she never returned my call.”

“Things must really be bad then if it made the papers,” Liz muttered to herself in speculation.

“I can go by there if you’d like,” Alex offered gently, “I don’t know how receptive she’ll be seeing as how I’ve ignored her for the last month, but hopefully I’ll be able to find something out for you.”

“Alex, don’t tell her the reason why you’re looking for Max,” Liz implored softly, “I want to be the one to tell Max about the baby and if Isabel knows she won’t keep it to herself.”

“Will do,” Alex replied jauntily before adding in a concerned tone, “Liz, are you sure you’re okay? You sound…I don’t know…lost.”

“I am lost, Alex,” she admitted ruefully and then she forced a cheery edge to her tone, “I’ll be okay…now that I know what I have to do.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Max had a rather elucidating conversation with Edward Harding on his way to work. He had borrowed Isabel’s phone to do it and the exchange had been nothing less than colorful. There had been a lot of yelling and swearing on the older man’s part but Max was pretty confident that Tess would be out of his hair from now on. He had hated going to that extreme especially knowing the pure loathing Edward Harding had for him, but Max felt he hadn’t been left with that much choice. Although, Harding had claimed not to believe a word Max told him Max knew that the old man would confront Tess later on. That was just his way. Any hint of a scandal that could potentially besmirch his family name and Edward Harding made it top priority. He’d probably make arrangements to send Tess away post haste, which would suit Max just fine.

He was actually relieved to have been able to work an entire shift without Tess harassing him in any way. For the last week there had been a bit of drama during every shift he worked, which was not serving to endear him to his managers or coworkers. More than once he’d been threatened with suspension, even termination if he couldn’t get Tess under control. Max groaned aloud. The girl was wrecking his life in every possible way, first with Liz and then with his family and now he was even in danger of losing his job because of her. If that happened then the gloves would be off. This job was the last thing Max had and if Tess ruined that for him… God, he didn’t even want to think about it.

Currently, he was sitting in a darkened booth at the very back of the restaurant counting out his tips when one of his coworkers approached him.

“Your girlfriend’s back,” the employee informed him smugly, “She’s stumbling around the parking lot ranting and raving at the customers. You’d better do something about her quick. Allan’s about to blow a gasket.” No sooner had he said anything at all than the aforementioned Allan came bustling his way towards Max’s table, his expression livid with mortification. By the time he reached them Max was already preparing to go outside and handle Tess.

“Max, this has got to stop,” he said tightly, “I’ve tried to be patient with you while you’re handling your domestic dispute but I can’t have this for my business. I’d call the police if I didn’t know already that the effort would be futile. She’s costing me customers and I can’t have that. Please, turn in your apron.”

“No, Allan, you can’t do this,” Max protested in frustration, “Please…please don’t do this to me. I need this job. I can’t control what she does okay! We’re not even together anymore. I have no idea why she keeps insisting on coming here.” His boss remained unmoved. “Fine!” Max ground out, yanking off his apron and slamming it down onto the table.

When Max stalked out of the restaurant Tess was fighting in the parking lot with another one of his coworkers. He was doing a stellar job of restraining her but he’d received a fair amount of war wounds in doing so. However, once the he saw Max he gladly released Tess and ducked out of line of her swinging fist. “She’s all yours man,” the server said, jogging back into the restaurant with a rueful shake of his head.

Max regarded Tess wearily in the moonlight. “What are you doing?”

“Ya called ma fadder,” she accused thickly. Her words were slurred and barely understandable. She’d obviously been drinking quite heavily. She couldn’t even stand upright without stumbling. “How could ya do dat to me?” she accused bitterly, pointing her finger at him. She sniffled. “He’s gonna send me away, Max.”

“Well, I’m glad, Tess,” Max replied calmly, “because this craziness you’re pulling has got to stop. Do you even care that you cost me my job tonight? Dammit!”

“My fadder’s gonna send me away!” Tess cried, “How are we supposed to be together if I have to leave?”

Max choked out a hysterical laugh. “Be together?” he scoffed, “I don’t want to be with you! I’m gonna do a little jig of joy when you actually leave this town!”

Tess gasped in a jerky breath of anguish, her tear-stained features hardening into a blank mask as she stared at him. “You…you planned it this way?” she accused him softly.

“Planned what?” Max asked with wary apathy, “Tess, you have to stop doing this. You’re ruining both of our lives.” He was excruciatingly aware that they were beginning to draw a small crowd in the parking lot. Even Allan had come outside to make sure the dispute was settled as quickly and quietly as possible. So he, and Max as well, were quite horrified a few seconds later when Tess suddenly whirled to face the scattered few people watching them.

“Do you know what this bastard is doing to me?” she wept brokenly, “He got me pregnant…he made me lose my baby…but I still love him so much.” She pushed her hands into the deep pockets of her jacket and rocked back and forth mechanically. “I just wanted him to love me again,” she explained drunkenly and then she slumped around to face Max again with renewed tears, “Why can’t you love me again, Max?”

Growing more uneasy with each passing second, Max struggled to maintain as much dignity as he could. “Let’s just go, okay, Tess,” he suggested calmly, “We’re making a spectacle of ourselves out here. We can talk someplace else.”

Tess whirled away from him before he could even touch her. “Don’t touch me, you liar!” she ranted furiously, “Everybody leaves me! Everybody! First my mom, then my dad…then the baby…the baby left me, too,” she cried pitifully and then she drew herself up tall and straight, “and now you!” she finished bitterly. She lifted betrayed blue eyes to his stoic features. “You promised me, Max…you promised you wouldn’t leave me…”

Acutely aware of the murmuring that had begun within the crowd Max tossed a glance over to Allan. “Go call her father, okay!” he ordered brusquely, “Can’t you see she’s sick?”

“You just wanna go back to her,” Tess stated dully, her eyes almost chillingly sane as she studied Max, “Can’t you see she’ll never love you like I do? She’ll never be able to make you happy like I can.”

“Tess, please--,” Max begged, his eyes roving over the gossiping faces around him. He could feel his humiliation burn hot and bright.

“I’m not going to let you leave me this time, Max,” she declared calmly, reaching slowly into the bulging pocket of her jacket, “Not ever again.”

“Tess, I don’t want to do--,” The words lodged in his throat when he brought his eyes around to her again and found himself staring down the barrel of a gun. Max didn’t need to ask where she’d gotten it. Her father kept a rather large collection in his study under lock and key. He also didn’t need to consider if Tess knew how to use it either. She’d been shooting guns since she was a small girl…and she had excellent aim. He stumbled back a terrified step. “Wh-What are you doing?”

“There are two bullets in this gun,” Tess explained with a crazed half-smile, “One for you and one for me.” She tapped the barrel against her temple before drunkenly leveling the gun at him once more. “Then we’ll always be together, Max.”

The crowd was scattering around them, running and yelling now but Max hardly heard them past the stiff rushing sound in his ears. It was his blood pounding as it raced through his veins at an alarming rate. His entire body was vibrating with terror and sick dread. “Tess…Tess,” and he didn’t realize he was even crying until he tasted the salt of his own tears, “You don’t want to do this…you don’t…”

“No, Max,” she said with a sweet smile, “I think I do.” And then she fired.
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Post by Deejonaise »

Chapter Forty-Five

It was neither the insistent beeping that brought him out of his unconscious haze nor the gentle wheezing of his respirator. Though the sounds were just on the edge of his senses what was infinitely more tangible to him were the tender fingertips stroking lightly against his forehead. However with awareness, unfortunately, came a tremendous wave of pain as well. It localized in the middle of his chest and spread outward, radiating down his arms clear to his fingers.

Max emitted an audible groan, but a few seconds later he heard a faint beep and warm, liquid numbness began to spread through his body. The sudden easing of his pain was enough to compel him to open his eyes to the barest slits. He darted his tongue out to sponge his dry lips, suddenly incredibly tired just from the effort he exerted to blink. His body felt heavy, leaden…as if he were sinking into some thick, warm goo…

But Max fought against the call to oblivion. He didn’t want to sleep. The determination to discover who was caressing him so lovingly, especially when no one had touched him that way in a very long while, was too strong. As the blur from his vision finally lifted Max emitted a sharp intake of breath.

“Liz.” He rasped her name almost like a prayer, reverent and astounded.

“Shh, don’t talk,” Liz scolded gently. She pressed her fingers to his lips before replacing them with a sweet kiss. “You should rest now.”

“Where…”

“ICU,” Liz answered quietly, “Everyone’s here for you. They only let me back because I’m your wife…only for a few minutes though.”

Her words came at him too quickly. ICU. Wife. Few minutes. He latched onto the one that made to most impact to his groggy senses. “But…divorce…” Max argued thickly, his lids already falling again.

“It’s not final yet,” Liz teased him tearily, “Go to sleep okay…”

Liz watched him drift off to sleep once more, carefully studying the jerky rise and fall of his chest as he struggled to breathe. He rattled out each puff of air as if it might be his last. It almost had been. Twenty-nine hours after a bullet had torn through the upper right quadrant of his chest only a scanty two inches from his heart Max’s condition had finally been upgraded from critical to serious. The doctors hadn’t even expected him to make it through the surgery.

He had arrested twice on the table and the second time it had taken a harrowing seven minutes to revive him. Seven minutes that Max’s heart had ceased to beat. Seven minutes when oxygen was cut off from vital brain tissue. Seven minutes when he was dead, dead, dead.

Liz shuddered to think about it now. The fear that he still would not make it still had not completely left her, but she did feel encouraged by his brief surface to consciousness. Perhaps that meant that recovery was just around the corner. He would need his strength to face the days ahead…

As her eyes roved over his sleeping face Liz noted the marked changes in him that a mere month had made. He’d lost an incredible amount of weight since she’d last seen him. His features seemed more angular than she remembered, very gaunt and lean. There were also violet smudges of fatigue under his eyes but Liz couldn’t determine if the surgery had put them there or the distressing few weeks Max had endured prior.

During the long, excruciating wait through Max’s surgery Liz had a rather enlightening conversation with Isabel. She was surprised and quite taken off-guard by Isabel’s initial animosity towards her but then she’d learned the reason. While she was attending her nice, comfortable private school and living in a high-rise apartment overlooking the ocean Max had been living out of his car. While Liz had been splurging on endless shopping sprees for herself and the baby Max had been living from hand from mouth and fighting off Tess’ stalker advances. Isabel’s anger had seemed so justified that it had taken Liz a moment to work up a little righteous indignation of her own.

“What about you?” she had charged Isabel bitterly, “You know what your father is doing to Max but you’ve just stood right by and watched it happen.”

“What exactly am I supposed to do, huh?” Isabel had retorted just as bitterly, “I’m only sixteen, for Christ’s sake! How am I supposed to reason with a grown man who should know better? You don’t think I’m scared he’ll do the same thing to me that he did to Max?”

Liz had to admit that she had a valid point. They were the kids after all. It was absolutely ludicrous that they should be expected to reason with the so-called adults. With the realization Liz had felt most of her anger drain away leaving her instead with a tremendous sense of remorse. None of it had really mattered anyway, not with Max lying on a surgical table fighting for his life… “How are we going to tell him when he wakes up?” she’d asked Isabel in a haunting whisper.

“I don’t know,” Isabel had whispered brokenly, “I don’t know.”

And fifteen hours later Liz still didn’t have the answer to that question. Her body aching with exhaustion and fatigue Liz dragged herself from the sterilized hospital room before the nurses could politely throw her out. She reluctantly dragged herself down the pristine hallway towards the waiting room lobby.

The hospital was much quieter now since the reporters and gossipmongers had been thrown out. Still there were a tenacious number that continued to hang out on the hospital grounds hoping for their chance at an exclusive. And why shouldn’t they be hungering for a story? The daughter of a multi-million dollar business mogul was dead, her life stuffed out by her own hand only seconds after she’d sent a bullet zinging into the chest of her ex-boyfriend.

Liz still couldn’t believe it. Only a day ago her biggest dilemma had been breaking the news to Max that he was going to be a father. Now she had to face the prospect of telling him that the girl he’d dated for four years, the one who had shot him in cold blood, was dead. Liz didn’t need to talk to Max directly to understand just how the news would impact him. Now that she had the full story of why Max had left her that night Liz felt regret tidal wave through her in sickening waves.

Max had gone to Tess out of fear, frightened beyond capacity that she would do exactly what she’d done that night. When Liz thought about how callously she’d reacted to him, how she’d never even given him the opportunity to explain… He had known how sick Tess was, had recognized the signs that no one else had. That was why he’d been so coddling of Tess in the first few months of their marriage and that was why he’d gone running the moment she made her suicide threat. Max had known that Tess was fully capable of doing what she had warned him she would and tonight…tonight she had proved it beyond all measure.

Her mind still playing over the horrific details of the previous night Liz crept into the hospital waiting room where her exhausted family and friends waited.

“How is he?” Philip Evans asked feverishly, hopping to his feet the moment she stepped inside, “Is he awake?”

Despite all he had done, to Max and to herself, Liz couldn’t help but pity him at that second. He looked as if he’d aged a hundred years overnight. His face was lined and craggy with fatigue, his shoulders hunched over in defeat. This Philip Evans created quite a striking contrast with the callous businessman Liz had come to know. It was apparent that his son’s near death had completely shattered him.

“He was awake…for a little while,” Liz informed the bedraggled group, “But he was in so much pain I pressed his button for another dose of the morphine and he went back to sleep.”

“Did he say anything?” Isabel demanded quietly, “I mean…does he know what happened?”

“I think he was still a little confused,” Liz replied gently, “He didn’t say that much.”

“So he doesn’t know that Tess is dead,” Isabel wondered tautly.

“No, I didn’t have the chance to tell him.” I didn’t have the chance to tell him a lot of things, Liz added morosely as she watched Isabel wander over into Alex’s waiting arms. Liz was amazed that he’d actually put forth the effort to be here when he had to be grieving, too. Although Liz knew that Alex and Tess had never been particularly close they had still been cousins…family. Her suicide had to be a shocking blow for him, not to mention his uncle. And yet, rather than being at home with his gathering family and friends, Alex had chosen to wait at the hospital with her family and provide them with comfort.

Liz favored him with a brief smile of gratitude before drifting over to a nearby window. She was only vaguely aware of Philip Evans holding his weeping wife and her parents watching her with pleading eyes. Really, Liz felt like she was someplace else entirely, as if she were trapped in a nightmare. She just kept praying over and over that she would wake up.

Liz was so lost in her own miserable world that it took several seconds to realize that a Styrofoam cup filled with coffee was being pressed against her fingers. When she looked up she found herself staring into her brother’s unreadable brown eyes. Liz met his stare coldly.

“You looked like you needed this,” Michael said lamely, again attempting to shove the cup into her hand. Liz said nothing and returned her attention back to the glass paned window, staring out into the starlit night. Michael sighed heavily. “You know I only did it because I wanted to protect you, Lizzie.”

Liz didn’t even deign to look at him. “He was your friend,” she charged him resentfully, “How could you treat him so cruelly?”

“And you are my sister,” Michael fired back in consternation, “I couldn’t just stand by and let him hurt you again.”

“So you lied to me,” Liz ground out.

“I lied to you,” Michael admitted, “God, you’ve got to believe that I regretted it every moment since.”

“But you didn’t call,” she pointed out, unyielding, “Didn’t put forth any effort to undo the damage. How am I ever supposed to forgive that, Mikey?”

“Haven’t you ever done something so colossally stupid that you wished you could take back,” Michael wondered thickly, “Haven’t you ever made a mistake like that, Liz?”

Yes, Liz thought ruefully, she’d made hundreds of mistakes like that, the first of which began with a lack of communication and snowballed from there. Since that one conscious time she’d made the decision NOT to tell Max what was truly in her heart everything in her life had been fucked up. Liz honestly didn’t know what she was doing anymore. She felt scared and frustrated, irrevocably lost and lonely. And when she looked at her brother she could see those same emotions reflected in his eyes.

“You gotta believe I didn’t want him to die, Lizzie,” Michael sobbed, “I was just so mad… I don’t want him to die thinking I hate him.”

“He isn’t going to die,” Liz denied dully.

“He might,” Michael insisted, “That bullet did so much damage…”

“He won’t die,” Liz intoned flatly, “I don’t want to hear that kind of talk, okay!”

Michael recoiled a little at her vociferous retort. “Then what do you want to talk about,” he prodded, his tone tentative and hopeful.

Liz shot down that hope with one brutal statement. “I don’t want to talk at all.” She leveled him with steely eyes. “You deliberately lied to me, Michael, and as much as I want to…I can’t forgive you for that.”

“Liz, I never meant to hurt you,” he sobbed, “I just wanted to protect you…I just wanted…” He trailed off in bitter tears.

“I know you did,” Liz conceded, “But I can’t trust you…I don’t know if I ever will again.”

As Liz watched him shuffle away in tormented suffering she couldn’t help but wonder if her own unforgiving attitude was going to come back on her. She had done her share of lying as well. She had deliberately misled Max into believing she had a sexual relationship with Kyle. And, unlike her brother, her actions hadn’t been motivated out of some misguided desire to protect but the spiteful intention to maim emotionally.

She didn’t expect that Max would be all that magnanimous when she told him the truth, that is, if he even believed that the baby was his to begin with. Look at the hell he’d endured after she left. She’d never once given him the opportunity to explain, but had merely hopped on a plane for Florida. She hadn’t looked back. All the while Max had been suffering. And Liz, she had known what a first class bastard Philip Evans could be, she had known he would punish Max for the desolation of their marriage. However, she hadn’t imagined the extent of his cruelty, she hadn’t imagined that her own cruelty would lead up to this one, telling moment. God, what a mess…, she groaned to herself, what a fucking mess…

Liz stared back out the window wondering how the hell they would ever get it straightened out again.
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Deejonaise
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Post by Deejonaise »

Chapter Forty-Six

She opened her eyes to find him staring at her.

The change took Liz completely off guard especially because Max had slept all through his move from the ICU into the private room and even through the parade of visitors that had stopped by to see him. She had expected that he would sleep through the night entirely so Liz had curled up in the rickety recliner chair alongside his hospital cot and decided to catch a few winks herself. Her sleep had been plagued with nightmares though, rampaging, horrific flashes of Max sleeping in his car, Max being shot, Max rejecting her and their baby… When she bolted upright from the last mental images of a bloodied Max lying near lifeless on parking lot asphalt she discovered him watching her.

“What are you doing here?” he asked her in a thready, breathless whisper. It was evident that he was still experiencing the effects of the morphine. His speech was slurred and his eyes half-mast and drowsy as he regarded her.

Liz crept over to his bed, pulling the chair along with her. “I hopped on a plane and flew out here as soon as I heard what happened,” she whispered in return, “Your sister and parents are here, too, but they only let one of us stay in the room at a time.”

Max nodded at the explanation and fell back into his pillows in an exhausted heap. He didn’t really know what was going on, but for the moment he was flooded with gratitude that she was even there. Later he would try and figure out the reason why. Presently, he felt too dizzy, too tired and too thirsty to deal with anything monumental. Flicking his gaze over towards the movable tray off to his right he implored Liz weakly, “Do you mind?” She quickly obliged him, watching Max closely with concerned eyes as he gratefully downed three cupfuls of water before he was satiated.

“What happened?” he wondered aloud tiredly, “The last thing I remember is arguing with Tess in the parking lot.” He scratched his head absently, trying to piece together the events in his befuddled mind. “Was I hit by a car or something?” He took several gasping breaths. “My chest hurts.”

“You don’t remember what happened?” Liz asked him carefully.

Max frowned in bleary concentration. “We were fighting…” he recounted jaggedly, “She was there at my job and…and I just wanted her to go. She was crying…she was crying because I told her dad what…what she was doing to me. He was gonna send her away.”

“Oh, Max,” Liz groaned, half in pity, half in pain. She reached out to caress his cheek but he turned his face aside, instantly alarmed by the compassion swimming in her expressive brown eyes.

“Tell me what happened,” he insisted gruffly.

Liz didn’t know any other way to break the news to him than to just simply say it. “Max,” she began gently, “Tess shot you.”

Max gurgled a slight laugh. “What?” But then it seemed that with the revelation his brain seemed to jumpstart and Max began to remember the last desperate moments of that conversation with Tess. He could recall just how she smiled at him right before deafening sound the gun had made when she fired exploded in his ears. His eyes were still locked on that malevolent smile when he first felt the piercing pain. He hadn’t really registered the bullet as it entered his body, but dear god he’d felt the exit. It had torn through the flesh in muscle of his back, ripping through his skin just below his shoulder blade. His back exploded with fire an instant before he was falling, falling, falling to the asphalt. He only dimly remembered hearing another shot, but he couldn’t be certain if it had been real or if it had only been the sound of the first gunshot echoing in his brain.

He lifted hollow eyes to Liz. “Where’s Tess? Is she in jail?” he asked dully.

“No, Max,” Liz said, shaking her head and sniffling back tears clogging her throat, “Tess…she’s…Tess is dead, Max.”

The anguish that slashed across his features then was too much for Liz to bear. She had to look away, but though she averted her eyes it was impossible to ignore the wounded moan that gurgled from his chest. “She’s…she’s dead?” Max croaked painfully.

Liz stared down at the floor, blinding contemplating the toe of her shoes. “After she shot you,” she explained in a hoarse whisper, “She…turned the gun on herself. The paramedics couldn’t do anything for her. She was dead when they arrived.”

Max swallowed several times before attempting to speak again. “She told me she would do it,” he muttered in angered grief, “She told me…”

“Max, it’s not your fault,” Liz said quickly when she heard the self-reproach in his tone, “Tess was sick. You couldn’t help her…no one could.” Max looked up at her with haunted eyes. “I know that’s why you left that night,” she murmured in a quavering tone, “I know you were only trying to help her… I wish you had told me then,” she concluded in a regret-filled whisper.

“What difference does it make now?” Max asked in bitter disinterest, “It doesn’t matter anymore.” His mind was still reeling over the news she’d just delivered him. Tess had shot him? She was dead? Max didn’t know if he should be grieving or if he should be filled with rage. Honestly, he felt a little of both.

“Of course, it matters,” Liz insisted tearfully, “Things might have worked out differently...”

“Not for the better,” Max argued, monotone, “Maybe you would have stayed, but maybe Tess would have shot you, too. Maybe you’d be dead right now.”

“Max, don’t say that.”

“I’m glad you left,” he muttered, his words thick with unshed tears, “I’m not good for you…I’m not good for anybody…”

“Oh, Max, that’s not true,” Liz whispered, “that’s so not true.”

Her emphatic response didn’t seem to register on him at all. He hung his head low, his breathing leaking from his chest in deep, hitching gasps. “Why did you come back here,” he asked in a sob.

“Max, we’re friends…”

“No, we’re not,” he protested bleakly, “You said so yourself…we’re not friends…”

She did say that. How painful it was to have him throw those words back in her face at a time when he desperately needed a friend. But Liz knew instinctively that he would reject any offer for friendship she made to him now. He would construe it as nothing more than pity and he wouldn’t be entirely wrong. But pity wasn’t the sole motivation for Liz’s feelings. She was in pretty desperate need of a friend herself.

Liz studied the top of his head, longing to sift her fingers through the silky softness of his hair. She wanted to reassure him that everything would be all right, that somehow they would get through this mess together. She would have done just that if she believed that herself. Fighting back the urge to throw her arms around him because she suspected he might not welcome the embrace, Liz said quietly, “I need to tell you something, Max.”

He didn’t even look at her this time. “Tell me what,” he asked resignedly, “I thought you said further communication should be handled through our attorneys.” His reminder was dripping with offended sarcasm.

“I was hurt when I said that.”

“And?” Max challenged, “It doesn’t change the fact that you meant it so I can’t understand what you think we could possibly have to say to each other.”

“I’m pregnant.”

For the second time in the space of ten minutes Max went utterly silent. Liz listened to the gentle wheezing of his oxygen machine with suspended breath as she waited for his response. He fiddled with his hands for a long while before finally whispering with tentative thoughtfulness, “Is it mine?”

Liz almost laughed at the question. “Yes, it’s yours,” and then she added for emphasis, “I’ve never slept with anyone but you, Max.”

“But what about Kyle--,”

“He only said what I wanted him to say that night,” Liz confessed shamefully, “I was angry and I wanted to hurt you. After I saw you and Tess kissing…I just wasn’t thinking straight.”

“You…you tricked me?” The devastation from that night was still like an acrid taste in his mouth, not because Liz had gone to bed with Kyle but because he believed he’d driven her to it. Max had been killing himself with guilt over the fact Liz had felt it necessary to turn to Kyle for a one night stand because of something he’d done and it had been nothing but a trick? He almost couldn’t look at her right then he felt so…so…betrayed.

Max sounded so incredibly lost and confused that Liz couldn’t stifle the sobs that bubbled past her lips in response. “I’m so sorry, Max. I’m so sorry.”

Max shot her a glare full of disgusted loathing before lowering his eyes again. “How long have you known?” he asked her in a careful whisper.

“That doesn’t matter,” Liz replied in gruff dismissal, “I’m telling you now.”

“Yes, it does matter!” Max persisted breathlessly, stabbing her with betrayed honey eyes, “How long have you fucking known that you were pregnant!”

Liz jumped at his forceful tone though his words were barely above a whisper. “Since before I left for Florida.”

“You lied to me,” Max accused in wheezing anguish.

“Max, I didn’t know how to tell you,” Liz wept.

“You lied to me about being pregnant, you lied to me about Kyle,” Max considered aloud in a rasping whisper. He pierced her with a chilling glare. “What else have you lied about, Liz?”

“Nothing,” she denied hoarsely.

“Were you even going to tell me?” Liz blanched at the question because, for a long time, she had considered never telling him at all. Max saw the guilt flash across her face and snorted bitterly. “Why decide to tell me now?” he jeered, “Did you not think I was going to make it? Were you trying to unburden your conscience just on the off chance I died. Maybe you were hoping I would…that way you could hop right back on a plane to Florida and no one would ever suspect.”

His words lacerated her, caused her tears to spill over onto her cheeks. “You’re not being fair to me,” she charged him tearfully.

“And when were you ever fair to me, goddammit!” he sobbed.

Liz knelt down beside him, desperately grabbing up his hand in her own and pressing it against her tear dampened cheek. “I know I wasn’t fair,” she cried brokenly, “and I’m so sorry, Max! I’m sorry for everything. I was never…I never wanted to hurt you. All I wanted was for you to love me…”

Max groaned aloud at her words. It was so close to what Tess had said to him before in the parking lot that he felt physically ill. He tugged his hand from Liz’s grasp, fighting to keep his rampaging emotions in check. But it was hard keeping such rigid control. Max felt like he was being sucked down into a vortex of despair and there was nothing at all he could do to stop it. “How far along are you?” he asked gently, “Do you know?”

“I’m not really sure,” Liz answered gruffly, “It happened that night we were drunk and that was almost--,”

“—Seven weeks ago,” Max finished for her.

“Yeah.” There was a beat of silence before she added, “I want to keep it, Max.”

To her surprise he started to weep softly then and pressed his hand against he flat expanse of her abdomen. He held it there for a few, breathless seconds before he finally pulled away. “I want that, too,” he murmured huskily, “This baby is the only thing I have left…” He lifted his eyes to regard her imploringly. “You won’t keep me from it, will you? You wouldn’t do that to me, right?”

“No,” Liz whispered, “I want you to be in our baby’s life.” I want you to be in mine, she added silently.

“I don’t have a job,” Max croaked.

“You can find one in Florida,” Liz said, almost as if that had been her plan all along. She didn’t realize until that moment that it had been.

“You want me to move to Florida?”

“Don’t you want to?” Liz countered, “I mean…to be near the baby?”

“I don’t--,” Max trailed off in mid-sentence. Why was he protesting? There was nothing to keep him in Roswell and there hadn’t been for a long time. He could only imagine the fallout that would come with Tess’ suicide. Max supposed he should do the honorable thing and, at least, stay through her funeral but he didn’t have the emotional strength. He couldn’t even work up sufficient grief over her death. He was simply too relieved that it was all finally over.

When he looked at Liz again his decision was made. “I’ll move to Florida,” he sighed in consent, “I do want to be near the baby…as close as I can.”
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Post by Deejonaise »

Chapter Forty-Seven

“Should you be out of bed?” Isabel scolded her older brother when she entered his hospital room the next morning.

He was standing over near the window, his forehead pressed against the cool glass. At Isabel’s question he flashed her a wry, bittersweet smile. “You know me,” he teased humorlessly, “I never do what I’m told.” He and Isabel shared a dry chuckle before he added with a great deal more solemnity, “Liz is pregnant. Did you know that?”

“She told us this morning,” Isabel said as she assisted him back over to his hospital bed.

Max eased back against the pillows with a staggering sigh. “I keep wondering if she would have told me at all…if I hadn’t been shot,” he speculated morosely. He swallowed past the lump of remorse in his throat. “I don’t guess I blame her too much.”

And he didn’t. Max couldn’t help but feel he’d brought all this heartache down on himself. He wasn’t so blind that he couldn’t recognize he’d cornered Liz into keeping her pregnancy a secret. She had been insecure about Tess and even if she’d never said so flat out he’d had his suspicions. That night when Tess called he could have explained to Liz why he had to leave, he could have taken her with him, he could have called Alex… So many options to be taken. It was true what they said about hindsight…it was always 20/20. Max resigned himself to the fact he’d live a long time with his regret over those wasted opportunities.

“So what do you want to do?” Isabel asked him gently, watching his thoughts play across his expressive face.

“I wanna be there for the baby,” he said tiredly, “That’s so important to me now, Izzy…it’s like the only thing I have to hold onto.”

“No,” Isabel clarified softly, “I mean about Liz.”

“Liz?” He hadn’t really thought about her too much beyond the fact she was the mother of his child. Max had done so deliberately because contemplating anything more at that point was just beyond his emotional capacity. He was on sensory overload as it was. There were so many feelings he still had yet to process, so many things that had yet to be straightened out in his head. The only thing Max could let himself feel, would let himself feel was the burgeoning devotion towards his child already swelling forth in his heart. That was the only thing that mattered to him. The only thing he wanted to matter. “Liz and I are finished,” Max answered his sister simply, “You know that.”

“But I…I thought things might be different with Tess gone…” Isabel trailed off in frustration before picking up again. “There’s nothing keeping the two of you apart now.”

“I don’t want to be with her, Iz.”

There was something chilling about the way he said the words. They weren’t wrought with emotional indignation or even edged with outrage. He said them with about as much passion as he would have used asking for a glass of water. His tone was flat…dead, almost as if he felt nothing at all. Still, Isabel rallied. “Come on, Max. You don’t mean that,” she insisted, “I know you’re in love with Liz.”

Max didn’t bother to argue that point. That he was still in love with Liz was no longer an issue. At that moment he’d rather cut out his heart than feel any deep reaching emotion. Though the yearning for her burned in his bones like an aching fire Max wouldn’t allow the feeling to consume him. If he let himself feel that love, that hope again then he’d let himself dream of happiness, too and Max was done with that. Happiness was a fairytale, nothing more than a pseudo-reality that was as fleeting as the wind and just as unattainable. No, Max was in no hurry to make his heart vulnerable again, in fact, he was doubtful that he ever wanted to again. Being in love and the engulfing agony the emotion brought with it was the furthest thing from his mind.

“I can’t trust her, Isabel,” he interrupted flatly, “I’m not saying that I would win any awards as husband of the year or anything…I’m quite aware that I made Liz miserable while we were married, but I never lied to her. I can’t just get over that.”

“Max, listen to me,” Isabel implored, “When Liz first arrived I blamed her for everything that went wrong after she left, but I was wrong. It wasn’t her fault. She was just as confused and scared as you were. She had a lot of hard decisions to make and maybe she didn’t make the wisest ones, but neither did you. Don’t hold the pregnancy thing against her…”

“It’s not just the ‘pregnancy thing,’ Isabel,” Max argued tartly, “It’s more than that. And I’m not trying to hold Liz accountable for her mistakes, hell, I’d be a hypocrite if I did. I’ve made a truckload of mistakes myself…but she deliberately deceived me, Isabel. I know she wasn’t going to tell me about the baby at first. She didn’t say so but it was written all over her.” Max scoffed a rueful, embittered laugh. “I’ve had enough people betray me in the last month to know I shouldn’t open myself up to someone I know is capable of lying to me.”

Isabel didn’t know what compelled her to ask her next question but it was already tripping from her lips before she’d even taken a second to consider it. “Do you think I’m capable of lying to you…of betraying you?”

Max didn’t even blink before answering, “If the situation were right…I think you would.”

“Max, how can you say that?” Isabel cried, “I’m your sister! I’d never betray you. Don’t you know that? Don’t you trust me?”

Soft honey eyes met hers in a stare devoid of emotion. “No, I don’t,” he answered softly, “I don’t trust you, Isabel.”

Isabel recoiled in the face of his blatant honesty, feeling as if she’d been slapped in the face. Her fingers drifted to her throat in pained surprise. “Max--,”

“It’s nothing personal, okay,” he interjected softly before she could formulate an excuse, “You have to take care of yourself. I don’t expect you to be in my corner all the time when it puts your well-being at risk. I know that’s why you never stood up to Dad about me. You don’t want him to do the same thing to you that he did to me. It’s okay. I don’t expect you to watch out for me, Isabel. I don’t need that…I can take care of myself.”

“Max…you…you sound so cold,” Isabel said in a dejected breath. It was difficult to believe that this laconic stranger sitting in the bed before her was actually the brother she’d known all her life. His words, his actions seemed mechanical, complete lacking of human feeling. It was like something vital had shut down within his heart.

“I’m not cold,” Max replied faintly, “Just wiser. It doesn’t mean I don’t love you or that I don’t appreciate what you’ve done to help me.”

“But you don’t trust me?” she rasped out harshly.

“I don’t trust anybody.”

Isabel didn’t want to mull that over too long. She knew if she did she would burst into tears right there and never stop. It was devastating to realize that Tess had not only scarred her brother physically when she shot him, but emotionally as well. Now he seemed like nothing more than a shell… Shaking off the morbid thoughts, Isabel instead jumped to the reason that she’d come to visit him so early in the first place. “Mom and Dad are outside waiting to see you,” she informed him softly. She hadn’t even completed the sentence before he interrupted with a curt “no.” “Max, please,” Isabel insisted, “They’ve waited here all night…they just want to see for themselves that you’re really okay.”

I’m not okay, he wanted to scream, I’m so fucked up I can’t even see straight! He was sitting there in his hospital cot pale and weakened from his ordeal, but for all outside appearances calm and collected. Inside, however, he was a mass of churning rage. He was screaming…he was dying…and it seemed no one could hear him. No, Max knew better. They heard…they just didn’t give a fuck.

And the last thing he needed, the last thing he wanted was to have his so-called parents blubbering all over him with avowals of love and remorse as if he hadn’t suffered for the last month in a hell of their creation. Was he bitter? Hell yeah, he was bitter and so enraged at the world that he couldn’t breathe.

Less than forty-eight hours before Tess had tried to kill him. Kill him, for God’s sake! Could no one fathom what that meant? This was the girl he’d shared his first sexual encounter with, his first serious relationship with a woman and she’d shot him right before taking her own life. That fact was enough to mess Max up for life but then he had all the other crap with his family to deal with as well. It was impossible to fix. His parents just couldn’t come into his room and put their arms around him and pretend that it never happened. He felt broken in a way that could never be repaired.

“I don’t want to see them, Isabel,” he told his sister stiffly, “If you can’t deal with that then you can just leave.”

“Max, I wasn’t trying to force you--,”

“Look, I’m tired,” he interrupted brusquely, “I’ll talk to you later.” Max didn’t tell her straight out to leave but Isabel knew that was exactly what he meant. He’d already averted his eyes from her, thereby mentally dismissing her. Isabel was left with little choice but to leave. Something told her if she stayed the stubborn wall Max had erected between them would grow thicker and thicker. She bent down to kiss the top of his head as if he were a boy of ten rather than a man of eighteen. “I’ll come back later this afternoon,” she whispered. It was as much a question as a statement.

“I’d like that,” Max consented with a sigh, “Just don’t bring Philip and Diane with you.”

When she was gone Max quickly pressed the release button for his morphine drip, shuddering with relief as the painkiller began to spread though his body, easing the fiery pain in his chest. It was enough to make him a bit drowsy, but not to knock him out completely. However, Max’s initial gratitude over that fact gave way to regret when he was faced with the quiet left in Isabel’s wake. At least with Isabel’s chatter Max had been able to keep from thinking. She was a welcome distraction, something to keep reality at bay. Now, with only the muted whooshing of his oxygen machine for company, Max’s thoughts ran rampant.

He was going to be a father. The notion was surreal and yet astounding concrete, also. Never had Max felt so overjoyed and, conversely, so terrified in his life. News of this baby had come at an intricate time in his life. He had needed his child like he needed breath. Had it not been for Liz’s revelation to him the night before Max was entirely certain that he wouldn’t have been too far in following Tess. As it was his baby was the only thing keeping him sane at the moment.

But while contemplating his impending fatherhood filled Max with a sense of peace it also filled him with unbridled anxiety as well. He had absolutely nothing to offer a child. No money, no job…not even a place to stay anymore. He didn’t even know how he’d manage to pay for his hospital stay. And now he was planning a move to Florida and he had absolutely no idea how he’d even get there. But even with all that weighing on his mind those things weren’t at the top of the list of what was bothering Max the most. What was really getting under his skin, what had sent his mood into a downward spiral from that morning onward was waking up and finding Liz gone.

It irritated him that she’d left with no explanation; no note stating when or if she would return and so many issues left unspoken between them. He had a ton of questions and, though he figured she had only gone to her parents’ house or maybe to visit Alex, the idea that she’d left without talking to him first still irked him. He’d been stewing ever since.

Max tried to tell himself he didn’t care that she had left. After all, Liz didn’t owe him any explanations. Only now, strangely, he felt she did. She was caring his baby around inside of her so Max felt that entitled him to know something. But then again he was also grateful for her absence. Having her near him was just as infuriating as having her gone. His feelings were conflicting and confusing. Part of him was yearning to, at least, rekindle the friendship he and Liz had once shared, to open himself up and eradicate the aching loneliness that had overtaken him while the other part of him could barely stand to look at her.

Despite what he’d told Isabel about not trusting Liz he still wanted to give her an explanation as to why he’d left her that night. He needed to make her understand that his leaving had absolutely nothing to do with a lack of desire to be near her. He knew that Isabel had already told her, but not even his sister knew the pertinent details. Max needed to lay it all out to her so that there would be no lingering animosity between them. He wanted their baby to have a stable and happy home life even if his or her parents weren’t together.

Once he and Liz had pushed aside the old hurts and dealt with their pain they could begin discussing the baby. Max didn’t want to be a part-time dad. After the horrendous relationship he’d shared with his own father Max was determined to build something more with his child. He wanted to be there for everything, inutero onward. Max wouldn’t accept anything less than joint custody. He didn’t completely put it past Liz to bolt with the baby if she felt justified and he wanted legal backing on the off chance that she tried. Max also recognized that it was important to tell Liz all his feelings as well. Max wouldn’t take the chance that there would be further confusion between them, something that could potentially damage his future relationship with his child.

Max caught himself in mid-thought. He hated the scenarios that were running through his mind, hated that he could believe that Liz would do something as underhanded as running away with his kid. But the harsh reality was that he did believe it. The last month had taught him that people, even the ones you thought you knew, the ones you believed loved you, were capable of anything.

His own father, the man who had raised and reared him, had turned him out onto the street and the woman who had carried him beneath her heart for forty weeks had simply stood idly by and allowed it to happen. Though Max had never had much confidence in his relationship with his father he had been sure that his mother would go to the mat for him and he’d been wrong. Then Michael, once his friend, had sent him to jail without blinking an eye. And Jeff Parker, the man he used to secretly wish was his father had turned a cold shoulder to Max as if he hadn’t had dinner in the Parker home nearly every night for the last ten years. And lastly Tess…he’d been nothing but self-sacrificing towards her, going even to the extent of ruining long friendships just to keep her happy and she’d tried to kill him.

So many people had turned on him in such a short period of time Max had difficulty believing that Liz wouldn’t do the same. After all, she had already lied to him… He might have even questioned the baby’s paternity further if he hadn’t considered the fact that Liz had absolutely nothing to gain by naming him as the father. Max also seriously doubted that Liz would have simply dropped the bombshell about being pregnant to him if Kyle Valenti were the father. After all, what the hell could she gain by telling him something like that when he’d just sustained a life-threatening injury? No, he was certain he was the baby’s father, but what he couldn’t be certain of was Liz’s promise that she wouldn’t try to keep him from the baby. Max hadn’t yet decided if he could take her at her word about that.

And as the minutes quickly passed by with no sign of Liz his paranoia ran amuck. He began to fear that she had disappeared again. He had already acknowledged that he had nothing to give a baby. Maybe Liz regretted telling him the truth now that it looked like he would live. Maybe she didn’t want to face the prospect of having him in her life now via their child. Maybe she’d decided that having him in their child’s life would be more trouble than a blessing.

The dread that she’d left town again was enough to propel Max into action. He started to woozily push himself from the bed when the door to his hospital room suddenly swooshed open. But when Max glanced up in expectation of Liz he discovered that his visitor was the last person on earth he’d expected.
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Post by Deejonaise »

Chapter Forty-Eight

“You’re feeling better,” Edward Harding observed when he realized Max was attempting to get out of bed.

“Actually,” Max contradicted in a drawling tone that belied his pain and unease as he swung his legs back over onto the cot, “I’m feeling like I have a hole in my chest, but I guess you already know that.” He flicked the older man with a weary once over. “What are you doing here, Mr. Harding?”

“I want to know what you did to my daughter to drive her to such an unspeakable act,” Harding spat out angrily.

Max had to cough out a laugh. “I drove her to it?” he echoed scornfully, “Her problems couldn’t have possibly stemmed from the years of neglect from you, huh?”

“I loved my daughter,” Harding replied gruffly, “Why do you think I took her on that damned cruise? She needed to be away from you! I wanted her to be happy! I gave her everything she could possibly want!”

“Except yourself,” Max interjected quietly.

Edward Harding advanced on Max until he towered over the younger man’s hospital bed like a looming specter. Max didn’t even flinch. “You think you know a great deal about my Tessa, don’t you, Evans?”

“I knew her better than you did,” Max countered with brutal softness.

“And she tried to kill you.”

That statement cowed Max like nothing else could, perhaps because deep within himself he did believe he’d done something to provoke it. He had known Tess better than her father and had been kinder to her as well, but that didn’t stop her from pumping a bullet into his chest. The anguishing thought that he might have driven Tess to her suicide was one Max had yet to acknowledge verbally but a likelihood that was never too far from his mind. He feared that maybe, despite his accusations to Harding, he was the one responsible.

Max stared up at Harding with half-mast eyes. “What do you want from me, Mr. Harding?” he asked again.

“My daughter’s funeral is three days from now,” Harding intoned coldly, “I don’t want to see you or any of your family near the church.”

Max hadn’t planned on attending in the first place because, unlike Harding, he had more respect for Tess’ memory and her family than that. Max knew his presence at the service would bring more upset than comfort. Still, he couldn’t pass up the chance to goad the older man. “What if I wanted to pay my respects as well?” he murmured.

“Don’t pretend you gave a damn about my daughter,” Harding snapped, “Once you took up with that little brunette bitch you couldn’t be bothered with my Tessa.” He raked Max with a scathing once-over. “I knew from the very beginning you’d break her heart.”

“That’s me,” Max muttered sarcastically under his breath, “Max ‘I Break Every Woman’s Heart I Come Across’ Evans.”

Harding leveled him with a warning finger. “Just stay away.”

“I don’t think that will be a problem,” Max conceded tiredly. He lifted his arms emphasizing all the many tubes and intravenous equipment running in and out of his body. “I think they plan to keep me here for a while,” he mocked, “Is that all you wanted? I’m a little tired and--,”

“No,” Harding interjected coldly, straightening away from Max and becoming the cold, distant man Max was better acquainted with, “There is another matter I wish to discuss with you.”

“What now?” Max groaned with mounting impatience.

“Don’t talk to any reporters about what happened the other night,” Harding ordered succinctly. Max’s surprised gaze ricocheted to the man’s face because that was the last thing he expected Edward Harding to say. “I’m willing to make it worth your while,” Harding tacked on magnanimously. To Max’s further dubious shock the man actually whipped out his checkbook and began scribbling. “How does five million sound to you?”

“F…Five million?” Max sputtered in confusion, “Wait…what are you talking about?”

“Is five million not enough?” Harding countered calmly, “I can make it 10.”

Max’s head was spinning and not just from the effects of the morphine. “You’re going to give me 10 million dollars just to keep me from talking to reporters?”

Harding didn’t betray even a flicker of emotion. “My daughter’s death has been officially ruled an accident,” he said, “I wouldn’t want you saying anything to contradict that fact, young man.”

“Everyone knows it wasn’t an accident,” Max argued tiredly, “At least half a dozen people were out there and they heard Tess threaten to kill me then herself. If you’re worried about someone talking to the Press…go find them.”

“Again,” Harding continued undaunted, “My daughter’s death was the result on an unfortunate quarrel that turned violent. You were angry, blaming her for the demise of your foundering marriage as well as your father’s harsh disownment. She was frightened that you might hurt her and when you lunged at her she pulled out the gun. You struggled and she shot you in self-defense; however, once you were wounded you momentarily regained control over the gun, and in your wounded confusion you fired the shot that killed my precious daughter. Of course, it was self-defense as well,” Harding finished calmly, “I would never see that you were prosecuted for homicide.”

“Homicide?” Max bleated, suddenly very alert and awake, “Everything you just said is complete bullshit! I never had my hands on that gun. You won’t find a single print of mine on it.”

“It’s quite surprising what the newspapers will say, what the police will say…if you pay them enough money.” Harding smiled. “Now will 10 million suffice?”

“You’re a bastard,” Max uttered, “You’re crazy if you think I’ll just sit back and let you paint me as a murderer, self-defense or not.”

“There’s documented evidence of your earlier brutality with my daughter. My Tessa kept a diary…I know what you did to her and her unborn child,” Harding countered silkily, “It won’t be too hard to convince the authorities of your culpability…if it came to that.” He tossed the check onto bed. It fluttered wildly for a moment before coming to rest against Max’s thighs. Max glared at the slip of paper hatefully before crumpling it in his fist.

“It’s blank,” Harding said, “Fill it in with whatever amount you want. I don’t care…just leave Roswell and never come back. I can’t stand to look at you.”

Harding stalked out of the room just as Liz was stumbling through the door newspaper in hand. She was all but flattened against the wall when Harding brushed past roughly. She pressed back, her stupefied gaze flicking between Max’s pale face and Harding’s retreating wake. “What was he just doing here?” she demanded anxiously, hitching her thumb in Harding’s direction.

“Nothing,” Max ground out, crumpling the check further in his shaking fist. He tossed it in the wastebasket a few feet away. “He didn’t want a damned thing.”

“Have you seen the paper today?” Liz rushed, already scurrying over to spread the front page across his lap, “It says--,”

“—That Tessa Harding’s death was the tragic result of a domestic dispute and names me as her inadvertent shooter,” Max finished bitterly, pushing the newspaper from his lap onto the floor without even glancing at it.

“You knew?” Liz asked, glancing up at him in surprise, “What are you going to do about this? It’s blatant lies. You could sue for slander.”

“Yeah, I can see that happening,” Max snorted bitterly, “I’m a homeless teenager and Harding owns half this town…what he says is law. I don’t have any leverage against him. He pretty much admitted to paying off every witness there was.”

“God, Max, you can’t just--,”

“I don’t want to talk about him,” Max broke in tersely, “I’d rather know where you’ve been all morning. I was beginning to think you weren’t going to come back.”

Liz noted the suspicious edge to his tone and it broke her heart to hear it, broke her heart to know that she’d been the one to put it there with her lies. “You were asleep when I left,” she explained gently, “I didn’t want to disturb you.” He said nothing and his silence only made Liz all the more determined to prove herself to him. “I’m not going to leave without you, Max,” she promised, although she knew the vow made little impact with him, “I needed to discuss some things with my family this morning…lay some ground rules so to speak.”

“What sort of ground rules,” Max prodded in mild interest.

“The shortened version is that I asked them for space,” Liz replied evasively, “They let live my life and I consider letting them apart of their grandchild’s future. I need them to be out of my life for awhile, you know, just so I can think straight.”

Max grunted a self-deprecating laugh. “I can understand that,” he agreed with an ironic quirk of his lips, “I’m taking the same kind of break myself.”

Liz fiddled with the tube feeding Max his i.v. fluids. “Max, about what Mr. Harding said to you…,” she began hesitantly, “If he blamed you for Tess’ death in any way…”

But again Max quelled her questions before she could even begin. “I don’t want to talk about it anymore,” he clipped, “Tell me about the baby instead.”

“What about the baby?” Liz asked him warily. It was alarming, the quiet way he’d just shut down emotionally. That wasn’t like Max at all. If anything his emotions had always been exceeding easy to read. But now, as he stared at her, his features were like granite, inscrutable and indifferent.

“When did you find out?” he demanded curtly, “I mean…when did you take the test? Where was I?”

Liz dipped her head against the cot rail with renewed remorse. “That day that you went to fill out your paperwork,” she said quietly.

Max frowned at her, hurt dismay flickering across his features before they hardened once more. “But we were good that day, Liz,” he recounted in earnest confusion, “I…I thought we were happy. We had breakfast together…things were so perfect… Why wouldn’t you tell me then?”

Liz lifted her beseeching gaze to his bewildered one. “I was scared,” Liz confessed meekly, “I know that’s not an excuse but I was really scared, Max. I thought you wouldn’t want the baby. You kept saying how you wanted to wait to have a baby… It just seemed like everything was finally right between us and I just wanted it to stay that way for a while. Can you understand that?” she implored.

Max could understand it. They had only just really admitted their feelings to each other and after weeks of misunderstandings about Tess. He didn’t fault Liz for wanting to hold onto that happiness for a little while longer. He would have wanted the same thing. Max could also understand how that night with Tess had further stifled any desire Liz may have had to tell him about the pregnancy. He recalled Liz had been upset that day, crying because she had something important to tell him. Now he realized what it was. No wonder she’d left without telling him. She had been about to share life-altering news with him and he had left her to attend to his ex-girlfriend. The longer he thought about it, the more his anger towards Liz lessened.

“I tried to call you…to tell you the truth…first that night you went to Tess and then later,” Liz whispered when Max seemed to fall into a pensive silence, “A week after I left…I called your cell phone, I called the house…everything was disconnected. I couldn’t find you and I didn’t know where you were. When I called Michael he…he lied to me and said that you were living with Tess.”

“My good friend Michael,” Max bit out wryly. Now Liz’s reasons for waiting so long with the truth were becoming clearer and clearer by the moment. He nibbled thoughtfully at his lower lip. “Yeah…I was pretty cut off from everything a few hours after you left town,” he told her flatly, “Your dad didn’t waste any time kicking me out.”

“Oh, Max,” Liz murmured regretfully, “I’m so sorry.”

“Why? You didn’t do it. You were over two thousand miles away.”

The flat tone of dismissal in his voice made Liz want to cry. It was as if he’d just stopped caring altogether. It made Liz all the more determined to atone for the sins of her family, for both their families…and for her own. “Max, this whole mess is my fault…I wish I could take this all back…”

“Don’t,” Max interrupted harshly, “I’m the one who brought Tess into our lives. I knew she needed help long before now and I never said a word… Hell, I don’t know. Maybe this is the way it was supposed to be.”

“Max, what happened that night…with you and Tess?” Liz asked tentatively.

Their eyes met in a telling, emotional stare. Regret was stamped all over his features. She knew without asking that if he had the chance to do that night over he’d take it in a heartbeat. “You’re asking why I left you in bed that night.”

“I know already why you went to her, Max,” Liz told him, “I…I just don’t understand why you didn’t tell me that night. I mean…you just left me there…”

His eyes shimmered with tears before he quickly blinked them back. “I don’t know…” he muttered, “I wasn’t thinking, I guess. All I could think was that if I didn’t get there she’d do something stupid and I didn’t want it on my conscience.” He laughed a little, harsh and bitter. “Isn’t it ironic that it ended up on my conscience anyway?”
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