When Love Isn't Enough (ML / Adult) (Complete)

[Deejonaise]

Chapter Ten

The drive home together had been just as quiet as the drive to the DMV, only wrought with a significant amount of tension. Max could barely look at Liz he felt so sick inside. But by the time they finally reached home he couldn’t bear the silence between them any longer. The moment they entered the living room Max said quietly, “I think we need to talk about what just happened, Liz.”

Liz tossed her car keys onto the coffee table and turned to face him with a wary gaze. “What’s to say?” she replied softly, “You kissed me, I kissed you…end of story.”

“No, not end of story, Liz,” Max insisted gruffly, “I should have never kissed you. I wish I hadn’t. All it did was make a difficult situation even worse. What I did back in that parking lot was a terrible mistake.”

Liz wanted to die. If he’d taken a knife and sliced her heart into teeny, tiny pieces right then he couldn’t have done more damage than his words. He wished he hadn’t kissed her at all. He thought he’d made a horrible mistake. She had wanted him to kiss her for what seemed like half of her life and when he finally does he hates it. Yet his words weren’t what Liz found most agonizing. No, it was the fact that he looked as if he meant every, single word. He was clearly disgusted with himself over the entire incident. Liz darted her eyes about the living room, desperate to circumvent the conversation any way she could. “Max, I’m really tired,” she announced, already backing away, “I’m gonna go to bed.”

“Liz, can we please talk about this,” Max asked again as she walked away.

She whipped around to face him, her hurt and frustration manifesting itself into a simmering anger. “What, Max!” she shouted angrily, “Do you not think one time was sufficient? I get it! You wished you hadn’t kissed me! You don’t have to beat me over the head with it! Your message sunk in the first time, okay! But what I can’t understand is if you feel so strongly about it then why the hell did you?” He clearly wasn’t expecting her outburst. Neither was Liz. Her plan had been to skulk back into her room and cry miserably into her pillow like always, but the anger bubbling in the pit of her belly would not be contained. Before she could stop them the words spewed from her mouth.

Max stood in the middle of the living room, his eyes wide and stunned. How dare he look surprised? Had he been living in a friggin’ bubble? Could he not see how unhappy she was? The angry thoughts tumbled through Liz’s head and she felt like slapping him right then. She was actually that angry! She couldn’t help but feel he was playing games with her and she didn‘t like it one bit. “What is it, Max?” Liz taunted acerbically, “You suddenly have nothing to say?”

“I’m not trying to lead you on if that’s what you’re thinking--” he began lamely.

“That’s what you said the last time, too,” Liz pointed out crisply.

Max stiffened with the stirrings of his own anger. She’d had him on the defensive up until that remark, but following her last rejoinder Max decided to give back as good as he got. “The last time,” Max sputtered, “You kissed me the last time!”

“And you liked it,” Liz flung back.

Max worked his jaws uselessly before he finally managed to push a response past his lips. “I…I did not.”

“Yeah, you sound real convinced there, Max,” Liz mocked.

“I have a girlfriend,” Max replied woodenly. His words were more defense than statement.

“And yet you were kissing me.”

She defeated him with that argument. He had no response for her blunt honesty. “God, why are you acting like this?” he asked mournfully, “You’re being all bitchy and cold and that’s not even like you.”

Liz was shaking all over at the question. Did he really want to hear the answer? Did she really want to tell him? However, Liz had been hiding the truth from him for so long she didn’t think she could just come out and tell him now. The possibility for rejection was just too great and, at present, Liz couldn’t take that chance. She couldn’t take another emotional blow. Gradually, the anger drained from Liz’s body and she wilted, regarding Max through weary eyes. “Look we’ve both had a really long day,” Liz sighed tiredly, “Maybe we should shelve this conversation for another time.”

But Max wouldn’t let it go. “You think I’m messing around with you,” he accused softly, “You think I’m trying to have my cake and eat it, too…or something.”

“Those are your words not mine, Max,” Liz replied flatly.

Yet, it was so close to the truth, so dangerously close that Max felt the need to lash out. “Well, you know what? I didn’t ask to marry you, okay!” Max retorted hotly. He knew his words were awful and his attitude unfair, but it seemed easier to hide behind anger and resentment than to face the shameful truth about himself. “I never wanted to be with you! I never wanted this marriage! I’m just trying to do the best with the hand I’ve been dealt!”

Liz gave a sharp intake of breath in response to his unprovoked attack. His words were like a verbal kick in the belly. Though Liz had well known Max’s feelings about their marriage he’d never made them known in such a hateful manner. “Oh,” she rasped out, “I hadn’t realized that you were so miserable, Max. Maybe you should have run away with Tess when you had the chance.”

“Yeah, maybe I should have,” he agreed acidly.

Liz didn’t bother to hide it any more. His words had cut so deep it was impossible not to see the damage he’d inflicted. Liz gave up the fight against her tears then. Her face crumpling in angry hurt, she spun around for her room, slamming the door behind her when she’d gained refuge.

“Fuck!” Max yelled in frustration when the sound of her slamming door vibrated through the house. He flung himself onto the sofa with a frustrated grunt. His intention had been to rationally explain to Liz that, despite his growing attraction for her, he wanted to maintain his relationship with Tess. He had never intended to make her feel as if she was something he’d scrapped off the bottom of his shoe, something unwanted and a nuisance. And yet, that was exactly what he’d done.

Max snorted a laugh to himself. He should really cut the crap, he thought caustically. The truth was that Max, always so sure of himself and determined about his direction in life, didn’t know what the hell he wanted. That had never happened to him before. It seemed all his life he’d always had a clear cut path for where he wanted to go and what he wanted to do. Having Philip Evans for a father would motivate any teenager to get out of the house as soon as possible. However, for the last three weeks Max had been all turned around, not knowing his head from his ass and the constant circles were beginning to make him dizzy. He had to get a grip!

Three weeks ago it had all been rather simple. Tess Harding was his girlfriend, whom he absolutely adored and Liz Parker was his best friend, whom he equally adored. But in a matter of days the relationships he shared with both women had changed dramatically. Tess was no longer the primary woman in his life, but suddenly the dish he had on the side. And Liz, who had once been his pal, his ace, was now his wife. Nothing in his life seemed recognizable anymore. Now he was dreaming about Liz and kissing Liz and his relationship with Tess was gradually being degraded. This marriage was ruining his friendship and relationship all in one fell swoop.

Tess hated the situation they were in now and understandably so. On almost every occasion they were together things would degenerate into an argument between them over his marital status. Tess always made Max feel guilty for going through with his marriage to Liz and for trying to be a halfway decent husband. Hell, he wasn’t doing anything noble and Max knew it. In the last two weeks they’d been married Max had hardly spent any time with Liz at all. He only saw her at breakfast most days and that was as he was coming into the house and she was leaving it for school. Yet, Tess still wasn’t satisfied.

It was probably safe to assume that Tess didn’t know what she wanted any more than Max did at the moment. She didn’t want him married to Liz, but she also didn’t want him to defy his father by breaking up with Liz either. Because she knew if Philip Evans made good on his threats to disown his son Edward Harding would send Tess to the furthest ends of the earth before he let her disgrace his name by being seen with Max Evans. For that reason alone, Tess wanted him to remain in his marriage to Liz…she just didn’t want him to enjoy it. As far as Tess was concerned he and Liz could be married, but they had to remain platonic roommates and that was it. However, the living situation, being so close to Liz everyday was not making that possible. It was the proverbial rock and hard place and Max was wedged in good.

Max grunted again, longing for the days when his life had been simpler. But he realized instinctively that he was wishing for something he could no longer have. Those days when Max Evans knew everything were definitely gone.

He lolled his head against the back of the sofa, just praying for sleep so that he wouldn’t have to think anymore, when he caught sight of the answering machine blinking brightly. Max leaned over the armrest of the sofa for a closer look. Six messages, he read in hopeful surprise. His heart rate picked up a little at the possibility that the messages might be from Tess. The fight they had earlier that afternoon was still ringing in his ears when Max punched the “play” button. A moment later Alex Whitman’s voice sounded through the speaker.

“Hey, Lizzie P! It’s your main man Alex. I was just calling to see how your driver’s test went. Give me a call when you get in. Bye.” Beep.

The next message was from Alex as well. “Me again. Guess you’re still down at the DMV, huh?” Alex chuckled to himself. “Well, if you ever escape from that hell give me a call. Oh, but not after six…I gotta work tonight.” Beep.

“Max, it’s Tess.” Max held his breath as the tinkling sound of her voice sounded through the living room. “Pick up if you’re there, baby.” She paused, as if she expected him to magically come on the line. “Okay, look I’m sorry about the fight we had before. I was wrong to say what I did about Liz, okay? I know she’s your friend and I’ll back off, I promise. Don’t give me the silent treatment. Call me back.” Beep.

Another message from Tess. “Max, come on! Are you holding some kind of grudge? Where are you? I’ve been calling your cell for the last two hours!” She expelled a heavy, frustrated sigh. “Just call me, alright! I’ll be at home.” Beep.

“Max, dammit this isn’t even funny!” Tess blasted over the speaker, “Where are you? It’s been like five hours, okay! This isn’t like you. Please, call me back…please…” Beep.

The final message was from Tess as well, but by this time she was obviously fed up with waiting for Max to call her back. “Fine!” she snapped, “Play your little childish game, Max! See if I give a fuck, you bastard!” Beep.

Max sighed at her last message. Just that afternoon she’d asked him to give her friggin’ space. He’d casually mentioned he was taking Liz for her driver’s test and she’d blown a gasket. Max had spent the subsequent hour reassuring her over and over that he and Liz were only friends and his taking Liz to the DMV meant nothing. But Tess hadn’t been convinced. She told him she couldn’t think clearly with him always around. So he did what she asked. He steered clear of her for the rest of the day and she still wasn’t happy. So much for his hope that this dismal situation would get better with the passage of time. From where Max stood it all just seemed to get worse and worse as the minutes went by.

Well, that was it, Max decided, shoving to his feet. He’d had enough of the drama. He had dealt with it plenty in the last two weeks with Tess. Max definitely didn’t want to come home to more of the same with Liz. He hadn’t asked for this friggin’ situation and he deserved a modicum of peace! Didn’t he? With that determination in his mind Max headed off for Liz’s bedroom.

When he reached her door he stood for a few minutes, hastily trying to scrounge together what he would say , Max then decided at the last moment to chuck the entire speech. He’d just be honest with her. At this point, he had absolutely nothing to lose. He raised his fist and rapped on her door once.

Liz’s response was concise and quick. “Go away.”

“Come on, Liz, open the door!” Max cajoled through the door, “I’ve come to grovel and beg your forgiveness, alright?”

There was a deliberate pause followed by the sound of the bed springs creaking as Liz pushed herself upright. A few moments later Max heard the sound of her lock being turned and she cracked the door open an inch. All he could see was one big, brown eye surveying him.

“You don’t look like you’re groveling,” Liz grumbled good-naturedly.

Relieved that she wasn’t holding a grudge against him after all an easy smile lifted the corners of Max’s mouth. He instantly dropped to his knees and clasped his hands together in an exaggerated plea. “Oh please, Miss Liz,” he begged in a travesty of a Southern accent, “Give this ol’ cowpoke one mo’ chance. I’ll be betta, I swear!”

Liz swung her door open completely, snickering at him as he crawled inside. “Why are you such an idiot?” she asked in laughing rhetoric.

Yet, Max decided to answer her question anyway. He pushed to his feet and then flopped down on her bed. “I wanted to say I’m sorry,” he told her quietly, all laughter and humor gone from his face and replaced with tender regret. “The stuff I said to you earlier was just plain wrong.”

Liz shrugged and averted her eyes. She didn’t want him to see how much he’d hurt her before. Not because she was holding his words against him, but because she couldn’t blame him for feeling the way he did. Max had never made any secret of the fact that he hadn’t wanted to marry her it was just that tonight he had been brutally honest about his feelings. Though she didn’t blame him it didn’t mean that the words still hadn’t hurt tremendously. But for the sake of peace between them Liz put on a brave face.

“Don’t apologize for saying what you really felt, Max,” Liz replied softly.

“That’s not how I really felt, okay. I was just angry and frustrated and I took it out on you.”

Liz whipped up her head at his confession. “Angry and frustrated,” Liz repeated, “Why?”

“Come sit here,” Max beckoned, hitching his chin towards the empty space beside him, “There’s something I need to tell you.” Liz skipped over to the bed and sat down beside him, her expression expectant. “So I don’t guess it’s any secret to you that Tess totally hates our marriage, huh?” he stated bluntly.

Taken off guard by his bold opening Liz could do little more than lift her shoulders in an uncomfortable shrug. “I know that she hates me,” she added after a few seconds.

“I don’t know if she hates you, squirt,” Max countered dryly, “But I do know she dislikes you a lot and our being married hasn’t improved that fact.”

“Okay,” Liz said because she wasn’t quite sure how Max expected her to respond.

He evidently recognized that because he rushed on quickly, “The point is…Tess and I have done some major fighting in the last two weeks. Every time I see her she’s harping on me about you. Now I could probably handle that just fine if it weren’t for the fact that…well lately…I’ve been…well…”

Liz decided to pick up when he started to founder. “You’re finding that you’re attracted to me,” she finished for him with quiet boldness.

“Yeah, pretty much,” Max confessed shamefully. He hung his head and because he did he missed the wide, answering smile that stretched across Liz’s lips. However, that smile immediately fell from her mouth when he lifted his head again. She knew instinctively that he was as miserable about the discovery as she was elated, otherwise their earlier blowout would have never happened.

Max sighed dejectedly. “I guess you were right when you said I was being wishy-washy,” he told her.

“I never said you were being wishy-washy,” Liz argued.

“Maybe not,” Max conceded, “But you thought it.” He didn’t need her to confirm that statement because the truth was written all over her blushing face. Max took hold of her hand and pressed it between his own. “I know I have to make a choice,” he went on seriously, “Kissing you while I’m still involved with Tess is just wrong and I don’t want to play either of you like that. So I’m making the choice right now and I choose Tess.”

That was a kick in the gut, but on some level Liz had expected it so she was able to absorb the impact. “Yeah…sure,” Liz replied thickly, “I thought you would…I mean, you should because…because you love her.”

“Not just that,” Max explained softly, “I owe her, Liz. I owe her so much that you don’t even know about. She trusts me to be there with her, to keep my promises. I can’t abandon her, not after the heartbreak she’s endured because of me.”

It was on the tip of Liz’s tongue to remind him of the promises he’d made to her but she didn’t. In Max’s mind they weren’t valid anyway because he hadn’t chosen to do so. Max didn’t count any of the promises he’d made to her because those promises hadn’t been given freely. He didn’t see their marriage as valid, which was the reason he insisted on putting Tess before her. And he evidently felt as if he owed her his loyalty so Liz didn’t see any way to argue in her favor.

Her brows knit together in a bewildered frown at the thought. Max Evans had never been a saint, but all she had seen of his relationship with Tessa Harding indicated he was the perfect boyfriend. Liz couldn’t imagine him doing anything to intentionally hurt Tess so when he spoke of “owing” her and causing her “heartbreak” Liz had no idea what he was referring to. “Are you talking about us getting married, Max? Is that how you broke Tess’ heart?”

“That’s only part of it,” Max answered vaguely, “Just understand when I tell you that, yes, I’m attracted to you and yes, I do want to kiss you, Liz. I want to do more than kiss you, but I can’t. I owe Tess that much. And I love her…I don’t want to hurt her. That’s why this thing,” he gestured between the two of them, “can’t go any further between us, okay.” His eyes begged with her to understand. “Please say you’re okay with this.”

She could make the argument that they were married and it was perfectly natural for Max to be attracted to her, but she didn’t do that. She could also make the argument that his first commitment should be to her and not to Tess Harding, but she didn’t do that either. Because Liz realized, in the end, her arguments wouldn’t make a damned bit of difference anyway. Tess Harding had a hold on Max that she just couldn’t see, that she couldn’t even fathom. And he was determined to be with her, no matter what. Truthfully, Liz didn’t want to fight with him about it further. She didn’t want to spend the remainder of their married life together locked in melodramatic arguments about Tess Harding. She’d rather just settle on being his friend.

Liz looked at him, her smile genuine and sincere when she answered, “I’m okay with it."

[Deejonaise]

Chapter Eleven

“So I left you, like, two hundred messages last night,” Alex Whitman announced when he plopped down beside Liz at the lunch table.

When Liz looked over and saw Alex Whitman’s open, grinning face some of her gloom lifted. She flashed him a wry smile and held up two fingers. “Two, Alex,” she corrected, “You left me exactly two messages and I got home way after six so there was no point in my calling you back, okay.”

“Are you sure you’re not avoiding me,” Alex pressed as he removed his bologna sandwich from his lunch bag, “I don’t know…maybe some of that latent hostility you feel for my cousin is starting to spill over onto me. I can‘t help my relation to the aforementioned hell beast, you know.” He tore open his carton of chocolate milk and then proceeded to chug it down in one gulp.

Liz snorted a bitter laugh. Latent hostility? That was a mild way of describing how she felt about Tess Harding. Just the thought of the blue eyed she-devil was enough to make Liz grind her teeth. But Liz had promised herself that she would not give into her frustration, she would not throw the holy conniption fit that had been building inside her for the last three weeks. She could handle being in a loveless marriage. She really could.

Trying her best to keep her dejected thoughts from reading on her face, Liz brazened, “I’m not holding anything against you, Alex. Besides, why would I have any resentment towards Tess in the first place?” She even managed an indignant scoff at the end of her declaration, as if the very thought of her resenting Tess Harding for anything were insane.

But Alex wasn‘t fooled by Liz‘s indifferent demeanor. Though he had known her only three weeks Alex had discovered quite a bit about his newly acquainted friend. First and foremost, however, Liz Parker was a terrible liar.

Alex surveyed her with knowing eyes. “Maybe because Max has spent nearly every night over to our place since the two of you got married,” Alex clarified quietly. He swiveled in his seat to face Liz fully, his expression sympathetic. “I live there, too, remember? I know how late he comes over and how early he leaves, Liz.”

His gentle admission received nothing more than an unconcerned shrug from Liz. But she couldn’t mask the pain on her face. “I already know where Max goes at night, Alex,” she replied flatly, “It’s not a big deal, alright. He and I have an arrangement.”

Alex gaped at her, unable to believe she‘d just roll over and play dead this way. All that he’d seen of Liz Parker in the last month told him she was feisty and she was a fighter, so why would she suddenly give up now? Alex didn’t understand. “You have an arrangement,” he echoed blankly, “Oh, Liz, that is so medieval. Next you’ll be telling me that you see Max keeping a mistress as a comfort.”

“You’ve obviously been reading too many Danielle Steele novels again,” Liz retorted in a dry attempt to lighten the mood, “Stop freaking out. Max and I talked about it and…and he explained to me how much he really loves Tess and how he wants their relationship to work.” Liz dropped her eyes so Alex wouldn’t see the telltale glisten. “I’m really okay with it.” Liz emitted an inward laugh of pure bitterness. Boy, the more she said it the more convincing she sounded. Maybe if she said it enough she’d eventually start to believe it, too.

Alex, not fooled by her offhand attitude, but noting instead the abject misery that darkened her eyes, reached across the table and patted her hand. “You poor girl,” he tsked sympathetically, “You’re in denial, aren’t you? Come on, Liz, be straight with me here. I know this is killing you.”

Liz lowered her eyes and turned away to pick at her half eaten sandwich. “It’s no big deal,” she said again, but her words sounded hollow even to her ears.

“But Liz,” Alex insisted loudly, “you love Max!”

“Shh!” Liz admonished, her cheeks blooming with embarrassed color. She darted her eyes about the cafeteria to make sure no one had heard him before reaching down to give his thigh a blistering pinch. “I can’t believe you did that,” she ground out.

Alex yelped and jumped away from her, rubbing the sore spot. “That’s gonna bruise,” he accused her, scowling, “Violence is never the answer, sweetheart.”

“I don’t care!” Liz shot back, “Your big mouth is gonna ruin my life, Alex Whitman!” But almost immediately Liz regretted her outburst. It wasn’t Alex’s fault that she was in such a foul mood. No, the root for her less than perky demeanor could be traced to spending nearly an entire week smiling and pretending to be happy while the man she loved spent his nights with another woman. The knowledge was like a knife in the chest, an open, festering wound that wouldn’t heal, couldn’t heal. She felt like it was being picked at each and every time Max left her to go to Tess.

Liz was jealous, monstrously, horrifically, sickeningly jealous and there was nothing at all she could do about it. In the three weeks of their married life she and Max had a rather livable arrangement going. Some days they would hang out together after she got home from school or they would go to the library together to study. On Saturday mornings they would even watch the morning cartoons together in their pajamas and athletic socks while munching on milkless cereal. The arrangement was damned near perfect except for one, pertinent detail: Max never spent his nights at home with her.

She didn’t like to think of what Max might being doing all the time while he was with Tess. Liz wouldn’t have been able to deal with that pain. She might go to bed and never get out of it again if she let her mind wander there. So she didn’t think about it, but it didn’t render her nights any less lonely or cold. Sometimes, when it was late and she couldn’t sleep, she would imagine Max holding Tess, stroking her curly, blond hair. Liz had no one to hold her, no one to stroke her hair, no one to whisper to her how much she was loved. Never did her lack for those things seem more acute than when she was lying alone in her bed at night, sobbing into her pillow.

But the worst was getting up in the morning to find that his bed was still empty. Liz would sit through a miserable, quiet breakfast, her heart so full in her throat that she could barely eat. However, it was leaving for school that became the hardest part of all. It wasn’t an abnormal occurrence for Liz to be on her way out the door just as Max was pulling up to come home. In fact, it had happened that very morning. God, and she had waved at him, just waved at him as if her heart weren’t crumbling at the sight of him.

The truth was that Liz wasn’t very happy. She felt like a selfish idiot even admitting that fact to herself. After all, she had everything a sixteen year old could dream about. She drove a luxury car, had a nice house in a nice neighborhood bought and paid for by her parents, and a bank account full of money. She was the perfect ideal of the pampered little rich girl. But she was aching with loneliness. People always thought that money could make up for whatever ailed you, but Liz knew better. Money only helped to mask the pain. When things got particularly bad she’d go on a shopping spree and buy everything in sight, but when she returned home with the mountain load of boxes and bags they were usually the only things to keep her company. That lonely, empty place in her heart was never filled up.

All those feelings were chasing their way across her face as she stared at Alex in remorseful anguish. “Oh, Alex, I’m sorry I pinched you,” she muttered thickly, “The last three weeks of my life have just been hell.”

When Alex saw that she was about to start blubbering right there at the lunch table he pulled her into his arms, patting her back lightly. “Oh, just let it all out, Lizzie,” he crooned, smooshing her cheeks between his hands and smothering her against his chest, “Tell Mama all about it.”

As usual, Alex did an affective job of making Liz forget her sorrow. Instead of sobbing, she giggled against his chest. “You’re such a mess.”

“You make me a mess,” he retorted as she pulled away. He reached over and brushed the tears from her cheeks. “What are you going to do about Max?”

“There’s nothing I can do,” Liz answered with a shrug, “He feels one way and I feel another. It’s a hopeless situation. I don’t know what it is about guys and girls with blond hair and big blue eyes. Brunettes are nice, too.”

“Well, I don’t know about the blue eyes part,” Alex commented, his attention wandering when he caught sight of Isabel Evans striding into the cafeteria, “but I can definitely understand the blond hair,” he finished absently. Liz rolled her eyes over his besotted reaction to Isabel’s presence, but Alex didn’t notice. His gaze never left Isabel as she meandered her way through the cafeteria, her long, blond hair flowing behind her like corn silk. Liz thought he was going to hyperventilate on the spot when Isabel made a beeline straight for their table.

“Your brother’s a douche bag,” Isabel announced to Liz in tart greeting. She punctuated the statement by dumping her school books onto the table with an unceremonious thump. She plopped down on the other side of Liz, her brown eyes glistening with tears of leaping anger. “Can you believe he made out with Chrissy Stevenson in the eraser room?” she choked thickly, “He doesn’t even go here anymore! God! It’s all over school, too. I feel totally humiliated. He’s such a dick.”

Liz squeezed her best friend’s hand. “Don’t cry over him, Isabel,” she whispered, “He’s so not worth it.” She well knew Michael’s penchant for new ass. Give him a bright, brilliant beautiful girl and he was guaranteed to screw it up all over a piece of new ass.

“Why didn’t you warn me about him, huh?” Isabel cried tearfully.

“I seem to recall that I did,” Liz pointed out wryly, reaching forward to dab away her friends tears, “And you ignored me.”

“I was an idiot,” Isabel surmised.

“You were an idiot,” Liz agreed sagely, passing Isabel a napkin so that she could blow her nose. “You’ll get over him, you know. Michael has about as much depth as a pudding cup…you’re better off without him.”

“Oh, I know I am,” Isabel retorted with absolute conviction. She finished drying her eyes and gave her blond head a defiant toss. “I’m Isabel Evans,” she stated haughtily, “and I pine over no man, especially, Michael ‘If it moves I will nail it’ Parker.”

“Well, if you knew all that about him, why you date him in the first place,” Liz wondered with a bewildered frown.

“He was cute,” Isabel replied as if the explanation was answer enough. And then she waved her hand dismissively, ready to move on to the subject that had brought her to the table to begin with. “What’s going on with you and my brother,” she demanded bluntly.

Liz looked uncertain. “Are you sure you want to talk about this?” she asked carefully, “You just got your heart broken, Isabel.”

“Oh, please!” Isabel snorted with a grimace, “By Michael? Are you delusional?”

“But you were crying,” Liz reminded her meekly.

“Only because I wasted, like, three months of my life on the loser!” Isabel scoffed, “That’s time I’ll never get back, you know. Plus he totally ruined my rep by doing dizzy Chrissy in the closet. Now I look like a jilted girlfriend. You know how I hate to look weak…”

Liz nodded, but in truth she barely heard Isabel’s rambling. She was really dreading the prospect of talking about Max and her feelings. Unlike Alex, Isabel could be pushy when she wanted details and Liz was fairly certain she wouldn’t stop nagging until she got what she wanted. Liz didn’t think it would be nearly as easy to brazen her way out of the conversation as it had been with Alex. And if she told Isabel what was really in her heart, if she told anyone, Liz was sure she would start to cry and never be able to stop. In the end, it seemed best to beat a hasty retreat. She quickly gathered up her books and the remnants of her lunch and pushed away from the table.

“Hey, where are you going?” Isabel demanded in mid-rant.

“I just remembered I have research to do for Hardy’s Biology paper,” Liz lied lamely, careful not to meet Isabel’s eyes as she did. She slung her backpack onto her back.

“But we were just talking,” Isabel argued, “You haven’t told me anything yet.”

“There’s nothing to tell,” Liz said, her eyes already darting for the exit.

“Parker, you’re not budging from this spot,” Isabel warned, her eyes narrowed with suspicion, “Not until you talk, muchacha.”

“Talk to Alex!” Liz suggested on the spur. She grabbed hold on his chair and scooted it down so that he was right beside Isabel. Alex looked caught between horror and gratitude at her action. “Have fun you two. I gotta go.”

Isabel stared after her friend in blank confusion. “Talk to Alex?” she muttered to herself crossly. And then she looked over at the dark-haired nerd Liz had left her with. He was wiggling his eyebrows at her lasciviously. Isabel repressed the urge to groan and that was before Alex said, “So what’s this I hear about you being single?”

[Deejonaise]

Chapter Twelve

Liz was diligently studying the notes for her upcoming history exam when a gentle knock sounded at her door. She glanced up to find Max smiling at her. “You busy?” he asked softly.

“Just working at getting my A’s like always,” she quipped as she set aside her notebook, “What’s up?”

Max leaned against her doorframe, his facial expression caught between hesitancy and excitement. “I’ve been cooking,” he announced lamely, “Can you smell it?”

“Yeah, I did,” Liz murmured, unable to stop her answering smile in response to his boyish candor, “What is it?”

“Rigatoni. I’ve never made it before.”

That was actually an understatement. Max had never made anything before, not even something as simple as bologna and hot dogs. Liz had learned while living with Max that if he had to go through the trouble of fixing himself a meal he’d usually go hungry before he did it. It was just one of the many quirks she’d learned about him in the past few weeks. Like the fact that he drank straight from the milk carton, though he thought she didn’t know, and the five-minute ritual he performed when brushing his teeth.

She’d only seen him do it twice since the mornings when he was home were rare, but Liz couldn’t help but be fascinated by all the trouble he went through. First a minute of rinsing with Plax, then two minutes of vigorous brushing, then thirty seconds of swishing Listerine, not the minty flavor, but the horrid tasting gold one, and then for the finale, flossing. Max could floss until the cows came home. Liz loved her teeth, but even she didn’t take such meticulous care of her mouth. It was just one of those little things about Max which made her love him even more. He was just a quirky guy.

Her affectionate smile widened even more when she thought of him in the kitchen making dinner. His apron, and how cute did he look in his “Can You Smell What the Rock is Cooking” overlay, was smattered with tomato sauce and completely grungy with grease. Liz cringed inwardly to think what the kitchen must look like. He’d obviously gone through a lot of trouble and Liz couldn’t help but wonder why.

“So what’s the occasion?” she asked, biting her lip to keep from laughing, “Apparently, something really special is going down otherwise you wouldn’t have risked first degree burns to make pasta.”

“I invited Tess over for dinner.”

Liz’s blossoming good mood wilted like a new bloom in the harsh, winter wind. Her smile collapsed a little, as she was forcefully reminded one more time that Max Evans did not belong to her. “Wow, Tess is coming over,” was the only reply she could think to give him.

“Yeah, her father’s back in town from business so we can’t be over there,” Max explained, “I thought it would be nice to invite her over here for a change…let her see the new place and everything. Is that okay with you?”

Liz managed a sputtering laugh of indifference. “Of course, it’s okay,” she said, “I’ll just make myself scarce tonight.” She actually started to push herself from the bed as if she meant to leave right that very moment. Honestly, she didn’t know what she was going to do. She just felt so blinded by pain that her only instinctive reaction was to get away fast. “I’ll just call Alex--,”

“I was kinda hoping you would stay,” Max interrupted softly.

She swiveled around to face him then, staring at him as if he’d just grown horns and a tail. God, did he just not realize how he was torturing her? Did he not get it? “You want me to stay her and share a romantic dinner with you and your girlfriend?” Liz wheezed in disbelief. “Are you on crack,” she wanted to rail, but she somehow managed to bite the sarcastic words back before they flew from her mouth.

“It’s not like that, Liz,” Max said quietly, “I thought this dinner might give the three of us the opportunity to sit down together and try to find a plausible solution to our current situation.”

Honestly, the tension was beginning to get to Max in the worst way. On the outside everything seemed fine and cohesive. He’d spent the majority of his time with Tess and would occasionally hang out with Liz in between. It was just as it had been before only with one glaring detail: the grueling tension.

If he was with Tess, he was thinking about Liz and wondering if she was really as alright with him being away from the house as she claimed. Almost inevitably, Tess would get upset with what she called “his lack of attentiveness” and they would get into a fight. In the end, Tess would end up crying and Max would feel like an ass. He usually spent his nights with her either comforting her or begging for forgiveness.

And when he came home, he felt like Liz was pissed with him, too. She didn’t do anything overtly different, but he had noticed that she’d gone out of her way to avoid him lately. Also Max noticed other little details as well. She locked her bedroom door now, something she hadn’t been doing before. And the food, she had separated the food, carefully labeling what was hers and what was his. Before she had never had a problem with him eating her stuff. Max felt like she was drawing a line between them, distancing herself somehow and he wanted to know why. That was the very reason he was insisting she stay for dinner. He wanted to find out what was on both his girls’ minds.

Liz looked away from him and began stuffing her feet into her sneakers. “I thought we already had a solution that was working out for everyone, Max,” she replied with feigned indifference.

“Tess isn’t happy,” Max answered honestly, “And, truthfully, you don’t seem to be either.” Her head snapped up at his assessment. “I just want to know what I can do to make this better for the both of you.”

Dump Tess and be my husband, Liz thought immediately. Could he really not see what it was she wanted? She wanted him. She wanted him to be with her at night and in the morning, to hold her, to make love to her. She wanted to be the only woman in his life. That was the only way she could be happy. But it wasn’t fair to ask him that. It wasn’t fair because Max had never asked to be put into that situation in the first place. All he was trying to do was make their lives better and find something they could all live with. He just didn’t realize that Liz could NEVER live with the idea of his being with another woman.

“This is an awkward situation for everyone, Max,” Liz replied softly, bending over to lace up her tennis shoe, “There’s bound to be some unhappiness on both sides from time to time.”

Max went to stoop down beside her, brushing away the hair that fell across her face as she bent her head. “Have I done something wrong?” he pleaded softly, “Are you mad at me, Liz?”

Liz choked a small laugh. “No, why would you think that?” she countered, still not looking at him.

“Well, for one thing,” Max said, taking her by the chin and bringing her around to face him, “You don’t look me in the eye anymore.”

“Max.” She said his name as a defense, tried to turn away but he wouldn’t allow it.

“You don’t joke around with me anymore or talk to me like you used to,” he went on urgently, “It’s like I’ve done something to offend you but I don’t know what it is. Is it because of the other day…you know in the parking lot when I kissed you? Is it because I told you I was attracted to you?”

“Max, it’s none of those things,” Liz protested softly.

But he was too far-gone with the possibilities for her odd behavior. “Do you think I’m gonna try and make a move on you or something?” he charged, “Like I’m going to lose control and come on to you?”

“And what if I want you to come on to me?” Liz suddenly fired back.

The look on his face was priceless. His mouth fell open in stunned display and his eyes all but popped from their sockets. She could have barely tapped his shoulder at that point and he would have toppled over like a felled tree. His brows drew together in a bewildered scowl. “You…you want me to what?” he stammered out.

“I want you to come on to me,” Liz clarified succinctly. Now that she had come this far she wasn’t going to turn back now. “I want you to kiss me. I liked it and I want you to do it again.”

“Liz,” Max croaked in surprise.

She jerked away from him and surged to her feet. “Now do you see why I’m avoiding you, you moron!” she cried out in exasperation, “You might have been able to just put that kiss behind you like it was nothing but I haven’t.”

Max stared up at her in speechless disbelief. “I…I don’t know what to say,” he sputtered. He was dumbfounded. Her surly admission had been the last thing he expected. He thought that maybe she was holding a grudge against him for kissing her or that maybe he’d made her feel uncomfortable after his confession about being attracted to her. Max had never considered that Liz might be attracted to him as well. The knowledge gave him a whole new understanding about her attitude of late. He groaned inwardly as the reason for her coldness finally dawned on him.

“That’s right!” Liz confirmed tartly when she watched him mentally reach the conclusion, “I’m jealous! Okay, there I’ve admitted it for you, Max! I’m jealous! I’m jealous! I’m jealous! I’m jealous! Now what the hell are you going to do about that, huh?”

He looked up into her anguished, irate features and felt his stomach twist in knots. Max rose to his feet, his eyes full of remorse. He reached out for her hand. “Liz, I’m so sorry…I didn‘t know--,” he began.

“That’s just what I thought,” Liz bit out, snatching away from his grasp, “You aren’t going to do a damned thing! Because you’re in love! You want to keep your relationship with your precious girlfriend, never mind the fact that you’re my husband!”

“That’s not fair, Liz!” Max retorted angrily, “You know I never asked for this marriage, okay! Was I just supposed to drop Tess because our parents played God?”

“Hey, I didn‘t ask for this marriage either,” Liz flung back just as angry, “but that didn’t stop me from trying to make it work with you. You haven’t even tried, Max! You just went on with your relationship as if nothing had even changed!”

“Well, what the fuck did you expect me to do!” Max exploded.

Liz froze then. It was a good question really. What the fuck did she expect him to do? Had she really thought he would just drop his girlfriend of four years just to be a husband to her? Had she thought that after years of being his sidekick he would suddenly realize what a treasure he had and fall madly, deeply in love? Was she that seriously deluded? She was expecting something of Max she well knew he couldn’t give her.

Gradually, all the righteous indignation deflated from her body and she slumped before him in general weariness. “I don’t know, Max,” she said in a dejected whisper, “I don’t know what I expect from you.”

“I’m not trying to hurt you, Liz,” Max replied, his anger deflating as well and replaced with an incredible sense of regret, a silent agony that he was making her so unhappy. This was the result. This was the result of their families playing god with their lives and they were ruining them all. He took a tentative step towards Liz only to have her shrink away from him. “What can I do to make this better for you,” he implored gruffly.

“Can you love me, Max?” Liz asked boldly, “Can you commit yourself to me and to our marriage?” She knew the answer to those questions long before he averted his eyes. “So you see,” she quipped with a tearful laugh, “There’s nothing you can do. Now you won’t be surprised when I spend all my time avoiding you.”

She tried to sidle around him then, but he caught hold of her arms and held her fast. “What are you saying?” he demanded in growing alarm, “Are you telling me we can’t be friends if I’m with Tess?”

Liz stared down at his long, slender fingers biting into her arm and then back up into his darkening face. “I’m saying that I want you to be happy, Max,” Liz replied with dull sincerity, her heart cracking to see tears swimming in his eyes as he regarded her. He didn’t’ want to lose her. Liz could see that plainly, but he didn’t want to commit himself to her either. Max didn’t know what he wanted and his indecision was killing Liz a little more each day. She slowly pulled her arm from his grasp. “But I want to be happy, too,“ she added quietly, offering him a small, lopsided smile before leaving him to stand there all alone, staring after her in forlorn confusion.

[cocopucks]

can i please have a link to this completed story...when love isnt enough b/c i cant find it in the forum.. thank you

[Deejonaise]

Chapter Thirteen

“If you’d wanted an ice coffee I would have bought you one.”

Liz paused in the blind contemplation of the deflating froth topping her café latte to favor Alex with a bland look. “I’m sorry, did you say something?” she asked blankly.

“Your latte’s getting cold,” he told her, but Liz hardly seemed affected by the fact. Alex threw up his hands in exasperation. “God, Liz, this moping has got to stop!” Alex cried, “You’re starting to depress me.”

“I’m sorry,” Liz offered, perking up in her chair so that her back was ramrod straight, “I’ll be better company, I promise.”

“Why don’t you just try talking about what’s bothering you instead,” Alex suggested gently.

Liz traced the rim of her coffee cup. “Are you getting paid by the hour, Alex?” she joked shakily, “Because I swear you’ve become my personal head shrinker.”

Alex bit off a chunk of his biscotti and leaned back in his chair. “I just want to help, Lizzie,” he said simply, “If you’ll let me.”

A shuddering sigh rumbled from Liz’s chest as she finally gave up the pretense that everything was fine with her, not that she had been all that convincing in the first place. “Max and I had a fight,” she confessed in a sullen mumble.

“Well, no duh,” Alex wisecracked, “I kinda figured that part out on my own when you picked me up in tears. What I haven’t figured out is why you two got in a fight in the first place. Last I heard you had an arrangement and everything was just dandy.”

“He’s making dinner for Tess.”

“I can see how that fact would crumble your whole world,” Alex deadpanned irreverently.

Liz tossed a sugar packet at him. “Alex, be serious,” she scolded, “I’m not upset because Max is making dinner for Tess…well, I am…sorta…but the point is that he wanted me to stay. He wanted the three of us to sit down together and come to an agreement about our little…ah…‘situation.’ Seems he sensed the tension and he wanted to try and ease it.”

“What I can do to have this guy’s life,” Alex muttered to himself, “It must be great to be caught between two beautiful women, even if one of them is my cousin.”

“You’re joking about my life here,” Liz admonished, but there was no heat behind her words. Oddly enough Alex’s complete lack of seriousness about the situation actually made her feel better. She’d probably drown in her own misery if it weren’t for Alex continually pointing out the lighter side of life. “Think you’d mind buying me another latte,” she wheedled with the beginnings of a genuine smile, “I promise this time I’ll drink it.”

“You’re going to put me in the poor house,” Alex grumbled with a good natured smile. Liz watched him walk over to the counter to purchase another latte when she glanced up and caught someone staring at her. Not someone. A guy. A cute guy. A cute blonde haired, blue-eyed guy. Liz bit her lip and lowered her gaze quickly, her heart doing a funny little jump.

She was sixteen years old but this was the first time in her life a guy had paid such open attention to her. Liz could hardly believe it. She had to be hallucinating. Yeah, that was it. Maybe she had just imagined he was looking at her. Just to double check Liz lifted her eyes once more for a quick peek. Oh, she definitely wasn’t imagining anything she noted with a deep blush. The guy was definitely checking her out. Liz nervously tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and offered the boy a fleeting smile. Her heart flipped yet again when he actually smiled back.

“There you go,” Alex announced , setting her coffee down before her, “Café latte tall.” As Alex resumed his seat he noticed then that Liz was once again paying him no attention. But instead of the sullen funk she’d been in before now she was staring at something just beyond his shoulder, her face tinged with the most color he’d seen in days. And she was actually smiling, not a wide smile, just a slight, almost flirtatious grin. “Did something happen while I was buying coffee?” Alex asked blankly.

“There’s a guy over on the other side of the coffee house who’s been staring at me for like the last five minutes,” Liz revealed in a whisper, “Don’t look!” she added in admonishment when Alex started to swivel around in his chair, “I don’t want him to know I’m talking about him.”

“Where is he?” Alex asked.

“Over near the entrance,” Liz said, leaning off to the side to catch a glimpse. She immediately straightened in her seat, her cheeks apple red. “He’s still staring,” she gushed.

“Who is this guy?”

“I don’t know…I’ve never seen him before.”

“Can I look now?” Alex queried, anxious to see the guy who had his normally composed friend blushing like an idiot.

“Yeah, you can look,” Liz conceded in a hushed tone, “Just be subtle about it, okay?”

Not so inconspicuously Alex dropped a napkin onto the floor and then made a big production of picking it up while checking out the guy who’d caught Liz’s attention. As he did so the blond haired guy made no secret of the fact he knew exactly what was on. He gave Liz an eye rolling smile and then winked at her. Liz felt her face explode with color.

She reached across the table and yanked Alex upright. “He knows what you’re doing, nimrod!” she hissed and then her eyes widened in incredulous shock as the young man pushed to his feet and came striding right in their direction, “Oh my god!”

“He’s coming over, isn’t he?” Alex said with a wide grin, “Oh, this is gonna be interesting.”

Liz settled back into her chair, her heart beating a crazy tattoo in her chest. “Quick say something funny!” she ordered anxiously.

“Say something funny?” Alex echoed, “I’ve never had anyone demand that on the spot before. I don’t know if I can perform under such pressure.”

“Alex!” Liz groaned, watching as the boy approached closer and closer. And then, because she couldn’t wait any longer, she burst into a trilling of fake laughter just as the boy stepped up to their table. Liz batted her eyes up at him, while pretending to wipe away tears of mirth from her eyes. It took every ounce of willpower Alex had not to fall out of his chair squealing with laughter at her transparent performance.

“Hi, I’m Kyle,” he said by way of introduction, “Kyle Valenti.” He stuck out his hand in invitation.

Liz graciously clasped it, a wide smile stretching across her expressive face. “I’m Liz,” she said, “Liz Par…er…Evans and this is my friend Alex.”

Kyle inclined his head in greeting. “Nice to meet you, Alex,” he said formally, “Do you mind if I join you?”

“No,” Alex said, “By all means.” He even went so far as to pull up a seat for Kyle. And then he glanced at his watch in contrived innocence. “Will you look at the time? I was supposed to be at work an hour ago.”

Liz looked up at him in absolute horror. “But Alex, it’s Tuesday,” she burst out, “You don’t work on Tuesdays.”

Alex shot her a pointed look while inclining his head towards Kyle in a gesture he meant to be imperceptible. “Of course I do, Liz,” he stressed, “Remember?”

It dawned on Liz then what he was planning and the thought panicked her more than a second before when she thought Alex was suffering from a nervous tick. Although it was nice having a boy pay attention to her for a change Liz didn’t think she could handle the conversation on her own. She was almost desperate for Alex to stay and it showed on her face. “Alex, you can’t leave,” she bursts out, impervious to the curious looks that Kyle was passing between them, “I drove you here. You don’t have a way to work.” She gave Alex a look that clearly warned him of dire consequences if he tried to leave.

Apparently, Alex was immune to her unspoken threats. He leaned down to brush his lips across her forehead. “I’ll take the bus,” he reassured her with a wolfish grin, “Have fun.” When Alex turned to walk away Liz politely excused herself from Kyle and ran after him. She caught up with him just as he was leaving the coffee house.

“What do you think you’re doing?” she demanded stridently, “You’re just going to leave me alone with that guy?”

“He’s perfectly harmless,” Alex replied.

“Alex!” Liz trilled, “You can’t just leave me.”

“I can and will,” Alex contradicted, plainly amused, “Kinda the way you left me and Isabel alone today at lunch. I made a complete fool of myself by the way.”

“But you like her,” Liz argued lamely, “I was just giving you the opportunity to show her the real Alex Whitman.”

“And now I’m giving you the opportunity to do the same,” Alex teased. But he realized a moment later that she was truly terrified when she didn’t budge from her spot but continued to stare up at him with wide, frantic eyes. “Seriously, Liz, you’re not making a good impression by keeping the guy waiting like this.”

“What do I say?” Liz mumbled anxiously, “What do I do?”

“Just be yourself,” Alex advised tenderly, “And have some fun for a change…god knows you deserve it.”

When Liz reentered the coffee shop Kyle was, surprisingly, still there at the table waiting for her. Impressed by that small miracle alone, that he had stayed after her erratic behavior, Liz approached the table with a sheepish grin.

“Did I run him off?” Kyle asked carefully when she sat down again.

“No, I did,” Liz said in chagrin, “You must think I’m the biggest moron.”

He smiled at her then, a warm, languid smile that made his blue eyes seem even brighter. “I don’t think you’re a moron,” he assured her, “I think you’re pretty strange at this point, but definitely not a moron. So what was so funny before?”

A frown of genuine confusion wrinkled her brow. “Funny?”

“Yeah…when I walked up before you were laughing,” Kyle clarified, “I figured your guy must have told one helluva joke.”

He knew. Liz could tell from the knowing sparkle in his eyes. He knew her laughter had been contrived from the very beginning and now he was teasing her about it. Giggles of mortified delight bubbled forth from her lips and for the first time in forever it seemed Liz felt relaxed. It was as if all her uncertainties had drained from her body and left her completely open and uninhibited. “How about we start over?” she suggested, thrusting forward her hand. Kyle clasped her fingers in a solid handshake. “I’m Liz Evans. I’ve lived in Roswell most of my life and I’m not an idiot in real life I just play one on tv.”

Reluctantly, releasing her fingers, Kyle said with a snicker, “I’m Kyle Valenti. I’ve lived in Roswell only two weeks and I just began my sophomore year at the University of Roswell and I think you must be the most beautiful, albeit strangest girl I’ve ever met.”

The last of his statement caught Liz so off guard that she squeaked a laugh and then promptly blushed again. “Thanks…I think,” she wisecracked. And then she noticed the perfectly delicious way he was staring at her and it caused her to blush all the more. She wagged her finger at him. “I can tell you’re going to be a lot of trouble for me,” she admonished him teasingly.

Kyle leaned back in his chair to survey her with a lean and hungry look. “I’ll definitely take that assessment as a compliment cuz I plan on giving you all the trouble I can,” he replied softly, “So what does a guy have to do to get to know you better, Liz Evans?”

Liz slipped her hands beneath the table and surreptitiously removed her wedding band as she leaned into the table. She shoved the small hoop into her pocket before offering Kyle Valenti a flirtatious smile. “I don’t know,” she answered, “but you’ve got the rest of the night to find out.”

[Deejonaise]

Chapter Fourteen

It was fifteen after ten when Liz crept back into the house with Kyle Valenti’s phone number burning a hole in her back pocket and an aching grin on her face. She hadn’t even taken two steps into the darkened living room when the lamp beside the sofa was suddenly clicked on. Liz jumped as light filled the living room, revealing a stoic faced Max waiting for her.

“Where the hell have you been?” he demanded tersely.

Slightly taken aback by his surly tone, Liz casually shrugged out of her jacket and hung it on the coat rack before addressing his question. “I went out with Alex,” she said mildly, “I told you that.”

“Four hours, Liz,” Max snapped, jumping up from the sofa, “You’ve been gone four, friggin’ hours! I called your cell like five times and all I got was voice mail!”

“Why are you spazzing out?” Liz cried, somewhat unnerved by his attitude, “I turned my phone off, alright.”

Max narrowed his eyes into dangerous slits. “Why would you need to turn off your cell phone just to hang with Alex?”

His question caused a guilty flush to creep up Liz’s neck. Suddenly, she felt a quiver of remorse over how she’d spent the evening. However, the moment the emotion manifested itself Liz stamped it down defiantly. Why should she feel guilty about having a coffee with a great guy? Max had Tess. He spent nearly every night with her and Liz doubted seriously that guilt was eating his ass alive. She wouldn’t let him make her feel ashamed for having a good time.

“I don’t know what’s wrong with you,” Liz declared as she started to brush past him, “but I’m not going to stand here and take it while you give me the third degree like I’m some kid.”

Max caught hold of her arm, his expression veering from irate to contrite in a matter of seconds. “I was worried, okay,” he admitted with a sigh, “I didn’t like the way we’d left things between us.” He gradually released his hold on her. “I was just hoping that we could talk.”

Liz own indignation cooled with his apology and she lost her hostile stance. “Max, about what I said earlier--,”

“I don’t want to lose you,” Max interrupted hoarsely, “You’re my best friend…I don’t want to lose that, but I can’t choose between you and Tess. I just can’t.”

“I know,” Liz whispered achingly, “It was wrong of me to ask you in the first place. I know that now…I was just…”

“…jealous,” Max finished for her.

“Yeah,” Liz confirmed with a trembling sigh.

“So where do we go from here?” Max asked softly, “I mean, the situation is pretty awkward for all of us.”

Liz didn’t know how to answer. She still wanted what she always had. She was still in love with Max, but at the same time she’d met a guy who could open up a whole new possibility for happiness. It was evident to Liz that Max had no intention of committing himself to their marriage. Did she really want to invest her time, her heart into something she knew would fail from the start? Liz stared down at her hands in contemplation of that very question. “Max, I don’t want to come between you and Tess--,”

“--I know you don’t.”

“--but you can’t have us both,” Liz finished before he could say more, “You either want to work on making our marriage real or you want to be in a relationship with Tess, but you can’t do both.”

“Why can’t I be a good husband to you and still be in love with Tess?” Max insisted in frustration.

“Because I don’t like the idea of my husband spending the night in another woman’s bed,” Liz answered brutally, “You’re either with me or you’re with her.”

Max dragged both his hands down the length of his face. “Liz, you kinda just sprung all this on me and I’m still processing it all.”

“I understand that, Max,” Liz soothed, “But the choice is quite simple: you either want our marriage or you want Tess.”

“And if I choose Tess what does that mean for you and me?” Max wondered.

“We’ll still be friends,” Liz promised softly, “but I can’t say it will be the same.”

Max nodded his acceptance of her terms but she could see that he was devastated by what she was telling him. She hated that. Liz absolutely detested putting him in the position where he had to choose. She had promised herself from the very beginning that she would not do that. She had promised herself that she would make his happiness paramount over her own. But three weeks of coming in second to Tess Harding had broken Liz. She realized that she was married, in the eyes of God and the law and she had nothing to really show for it, no companionship, no security, nothing. And it was highly probable that Liz would live out the rest of her life that way or until Max grew tired of living a lie and divorced her in spite of his determination to be loyal.

The situation was entirely hopeless and Liz could see only two solutions. Either Max would have to change or she would and Liz didn’t foresee Max having any major epiphanies in the near future. So, ultimately, Liz would be the one who would have to change. That didn’t necessarily mean ending her friendship with Max, Liz didn’t think she could ever do that, but she would definitely keep her distance. But even more than that she would seek happiness for herself and stop waiting for the day when Max Evans might “wake up” and finally see her.

However, as she stared up into his tired, dejected eyes Liz felt compelled to offer him some reassurance. “This won’t be so bad,” she told him with a slight smile, “Really it will make both of our lives easier. I doubt you and Tess will get in as many fights now.” Liz frowned then, suddenly realizing that there was absolutely no sign of Tess anywhere. It was possible she was in Max’s bedroom asleep but Liz doubted it. She had a hard time believing Max would be waiting up for her if Tess were asleep in his bed. “Did Tess go home?” she asked, just to be completely certain. Max answered her with a heavy sigh, a sigh that Liz had become quite adept at reading. “You two had another fight,” she stated knowingly. Max sighed again. “Was it about me?” Another long-suffering sigh.

“I told her that maybe she shouldn’t come over again for a while because it made things awkward,” Max reveled morosely.

“You did what?” Liz burst out.

“You were so upset…and I…I was just trying to make this better for everyone,” Max explained lamely.

Liz pressed her temples with the pads of her fingers. “Oh, Max, why did you that,” Liz groaned, “Don’t you see you’re only making things worse for yourself? I told you…there’s only one solution to this mess and asking Tess not to come over again isn’t it, okay.”

“Liz, right now you’re upset--,” Max reasoned.

“No, right now I’m lonely,” Liz corrected, “I’m lonely and I don’t want to be anymore.”

“But you’re pushing me away!” Max cried, “You wouldn’t be lonely if you stopped pushing me away!”

Liz could only gape at him. There were many things that Max could be amazingly smart about, but then there were times when he was just…dense. But then she could see what he was doing. He hadn’t yet removed those optimistic blinders of his. He was still believing that he could somehow be married and keep his relationship, too. Max ignored the glaring difficulties of the situation, their growing attraction for one another, the irrefutable hatred Tess harbored for her and vice versa. He wouldn’t even address that. Liz shuddered to think of how he would react if she told him the entire truth, that she was totally in love with him. He’d probably shut down completely.

“Max, come here,” Liz invited, taking hold of his hand and leading him over to the sofa. When they had both settled down on opposite sides Liz turned so that her back was against the armrest and pulled her knees up against her chest. “This isn’t working,” she declared quietly, “Max, I know you can see that this isn’t working.”

“You haven’t even tried,” Max accused sullenly.

“I haven’t tried!” Liz cried, “Max, what you want is a functional marriage! You don’t want a wife! You want a cover!”

“And you were fine with that at first,” Max pointed out, “You told me so.”

“I was never fine with it,” Liz confessed with a remorseful shake of her head, “I didn’t want you to defy your dad and end up losing everything that was important to you, Max. But I see now that my motivations were wrong. We can’t possibly make this marriage work, Max.”

Instead of addressing what she’d told him, Max made a revelation of his own. “When you left tonight…I was so afraid I’d never see you again,” he said softly, “I thought you weren’t going to come back and it scared me, Liz, it scared me so bad that I could barely think.”

“But why?” Liz cried, “Why was it so important for me to be here?”

“Liz, you’ve been a part of my life all of my life,” Max whispered, “How am I supposed to just let that go?”

He really didn’t understand what she wanted from him. Couldn’t she see that he was trying not to hurt her, hurt Tess, hurt anyone? The stress was taking a toll on him as well. It hadn’t exactly been easy for him going back and forth between Tess and Liz, trying to remain neutral when Tess went on one of her rampages about Liz. But Max felt divided. To whom did he owe his primary loyalty? Was it to the woman he’d been dating exclusively since the tenth grade, the woman he’d conceived and subsequently lost a child with? Or did he owe his first allegiance to his wife, his best friend, truthfully the center of his heart. Max didn’t know what he should do and the fear of losing either one of them was near paralyzing to him.

But Max wasn’t so ignorant that he didn’t realize there was some logical truth to what Liz was telling him. He couldn’t sit on the fence any longer and he couldn’t be on both their sides either. If ever he tried to defend Liz to Tess, as he had done tonight, it backfired in his face. And if ever he tried to defend Tess to Liz, she would turn all cold and distant. He couldn’t win with either one of them. And yet, that didn’t stop him from trying.

“Liz,” he began softly in the silence following his earlier admission, “we didn’t make this marriage between us and we can’t break it. As our legal guardians our parents have the right to decide whether or not they want to dissolve our marriage. I couldn’t legally break the contract until I could prove to the courts that I was supporting myself fully without my father’s financial backing. And even if I were at that point,” Max argued before she could interrupt, “I still wouldn’t do that to you. I wouldn’t humiliate you by leaving.”

“But you’ll humiliate me by seeing Tess,” Liz countered sarcastically.

“Liz, I’m always discreet,” Max assured her, “I would never flaunt my relationship with her publicly.” When his words seemed to provide her little comfort Max scooted closer to her and laid his hand across the tops of her sneakers. “I’m trying to make this easy…I don’t know all the right things to do and say, but I swear I’m doing my best…”

She looked up at him, her eyes large pools of pain as she met his despondent gaze. “Don’t you ever wonder what could happen between us if you just let it, Max?” she asked softly.

Max dropped his eyes, suddenly found himself twisting her shoelaces around his fingers nervously. “Yeah…yeah I do,” he confessed hoarsely, “…all the time.”

His confession rocked her, filled her with an indescribable joy and an undeniable sadness all at once. She gently disengaged his fingers from her laces and brought them to her lips. “Then why are you fighting it…fighting me?” She nipped at his fingertips.

“Liz,” he protested.

She pierced him with intense brown eyes. “Don’t you want me?” She nuzzled her cheek against the back of his hand, a gesture as sweet as it was sensual. “I swear I could make you happy,” she murmured painfully.

It took every ounce of willpower that Max could muster but he tugged his fingers from her compelling grasp and presented her with his profile. “I can’t betray Tess like that,” he replied quietly, “I’ve told you that.”

“I don’t get it,” Liz cried in a soft, muffled tone, “Why does she mean so much to you, Max? Why does she have to be so important?”

“I love her,” he responded in a hollow tone, but it was odd how the words lodged in his throat this time.

[Deejonaise]

Chapter Fifteen

Liz was spending another Saturday night alone. Ironically, all her talks and discussions with Max had landed her in the same place she’d been in before. Only now she wasn’t the one actively avoiding Max. She didn’t have to. Now he was avoiding her. She had gone and done it. Admitted plainly to Max how she wanted him and how she wanted their marriage to work and how had he reacted? He couldn’t put distance between them fast enough.

So now she sat alone in a quiet house, battling the urge to cry and cursing herself for an idiot. She could only be grateful she hadn’t admitted to being in love with him. He wouldn’t be able to leave her fast enough if he knew that. And Liz didn’t want him to leave her. Despite all her bravado and threats the one thing she continued to yearn for was Max’s love. But that was, evidently, the last thing he wanted to give her. As it was, he hadn’t said much to her in the last few days and whenever he found himself alone with her company he always came up with some transparent excuse to leave.

The longer his behavior went on, the more Liz grew to resent Max and his absurd determination to stay with Tess while making some futile attempt to honor their marriage as well. Why the hell couldn’t he just pick one? He had already admitted to her that Tess wasn’t against running away so Liz didn’t understand why he just didn’t do it already! Yes, she did know. Max had told her only a week after they’d been married. Tess hadn’t only wanted to run she had wanted to take their parents’ money with them when they did.

Now why this action hadn’t sent up a gigantic red flag to Max right then Liz didn’t know. Anyone who was even barely acquainted with Max Evans knew what an incredibly moral person he was. That Tess would even suggest something as detestable as stealing from his own parents to him alerted Liz to the fact that Tess Harding didn’t really know her boyfriend at all. Even when recounting the incident to Liz it was apparent that Max had been thoroughly disgusted with the suggestion. And yet, despite his apparent disappointment in Tess for making it, he had made excuses for her, saying she would have never considered such a thing if she hadn’t been so desperate.

Liz wanted to gag over his naiveté, which was so unlike him. It wasn‘t like Max at all to be so gullible, if anything he was an absolute master at seeing through pretense. But where Tessa Harding was concerned he had a blind spot and, going by his behavior the past few days, he seemed perfectly content to keep it even in spite of Liz’s emotional confession .

Why, Liz lamented, had she said anything at all? Maybe if she’d just kept her stupid mouth shut she’d be hanging out with Max right now instead of sitting on her bed with a pillow hugged to her chest, bawling her eyes out. Maybe her heart wouldn’t be filled with vast, gaping ache that seemed to yawn wider as the moments passed.

“Okay, that’s it!” Liz muttered to herself with a teary sniffle. She lifted the edge of her shirt, scrubbing her face free of tears. She’d had enough of crying over Max Evans! Enough of hoping and wishing and praying and waiting for him to notice her! Enough of him throwing her love for him back in her face! If he wanted Tess Harding then he could have her! He wanted a marriage in name only…well she’d friggin’ give him one! Liz was done with pining.

She threw herself from the bed and began frantically rifling through her desk drawer until she found what she was looking for. Liz uncrumpled the small scrap of paper, running her finger over the bumpy ridges. She’d had Kyle Valenti’s number for over a week now, but she’d made no attempt to call him. At first, she’d told herself that she was simply afraid, that she wouldn’t know what to say even if she did call him. But now she could admit to herself she’d been waiting, just hoping against hope that Max would somehow change his mind about being with her. She hadn’t wanted any entanglements on the off chance of that happening.

How pathetic, Liz thought acerbically. Max certainly hadn’t stopped living for want of her. If anything he had thrown himself head first into his relationship with Tess and he hadn’t looked back. Max had gotten on with his life and Liz realized it was more than past time for her to get on with hers.

Snatching up the phone before she completely lost her nerve, Liz quickly dialed Kyle’s phone number and held her breath. He answered on the first ring. “Valenti here.”

“K-Kyle?” Liz stammered in uncertainty.

“Liz?” he questioned in answering excitement, “Is this you?”

“Yeah…hi,” she said lamely as she fell back against her bed, “So…uh…how’s it been going?”

“Miserable until now,” Kyle answered and she could hear the teasing smile in his voice.

“Oh yeah,” Liz teased in return, relaxing a little with the laid back tone of his voice, “and why is that?”

Kyle blew out a large sigh. “Well, until this moment I didn’t think you were going to call me back,” he chided softly, “I didn’t know if I’d have to do some investigative work in order to find you.”

“Stop,” Liz giggled girlishly.

“I’m serious. I thought I’d have to bribe a police officer to put out an APB,” Kyle laughed, managing not to sound serious at all, “So what have I done to warrant a call from the most beautiful woman in the world?”

“Oh, now you’re pushing it,” Liz laughed.

“Okay, Elle McPherson definitely has that title,” Kyle conceded irreverently, “but you’re a close second…and stop avoiding my question. Why’d you decide to call? You‘ve only kept me dangling for an excruciating week now.”

His blunt questioning knocked Liz off guard and she wavered for a moment, trying to decide if he were seriously demanding an answer or if he was still teasing her. Liz opted for the latter. “Well, if you don’t want to talk…” she brazened.

“No!” and it made her heart sour to hear his vehement reply. He tried quickly to recompose himself. The laid back, easy charm was back in full effect. “What I mean is…did you only want to talk or did you have something else in mind when you called?”

“Something else?” Liz wondered.

“Like dinner, maybe?” Kyle provided.

Liz’s grin was positively splitting her face by this point. “Are you asking me on a date?”

“That depends,” Kyle hedged irreverently.

“Depends on what?”

“Whether or not you say yes.”

Liz laughed at his teasing quip, feeling lighter of heart the longer she spoke to him. “Pick me up in an hour,” she invited him breathily. She quickly rattled off her address and directions for him before skidding into the bathroom to get dressed. The moment she saw her reflection in the mirror over the sink, however, she cringed with disgust. It was little wonder that Max or any other man for that matter hadn’t paid her the slightest attention. She looked like a train wreck.

Her hair was a mass of dark brown tangles that fell across her forehead and shoulders in an unattractive clump. Her face was pale and splotchy from crying. Dark blue bruise of fatigue ringed the underneath of her eyes, which were swollen and red rimmed. Liz sighed as the full onslaught of her appearance hit her. How was she ever going to fix this mess before Kyle arrived, she lamented inwardly.

Liz expelled a heavy sigh. This wasn’t past the point of salvage. She may not be Naomi Campbell, but she definitely wasn’t Quasimodo either. With that cheering thought Liz went about the business of making herself presentable.

She’d given him an hour, but Kyle arrived in forty-five minutes, just as she was sweeping her long, dark hair back into a ponytail. When she pulled open the door his lazy grin greeted her. “Nice place,” he observed with a low whistle, “That your car over there?” He nodded towards the silver Lexus sedan parked in her driveway.

Liz bit her lip, hesitant to answer but not wanting to lie to him either. “And if I said yes,” she prodded, still unsure of how he would react to the news and needing to feel him out.

“Well, I’d say we’re two peas in a pod,” Kyle laughed, stepping aside to reveal his own Lexus sedan, the exact same color and model as her own. Liz clapped her hand over her mouth to stifle the sudden laughter that bubbled up. Kyle fixed her with a wry glance. “What are the odds?”

“This is just too bizarre,” Liz agreed, barely able to contain her giggles, “You think someone’s trying to tell us something?”

It was just the thing needed to break the ice between them. By the time Liz climbed into the passenger’s side of Kyle’s car they were laughing and talking with the ease of old friends. As Kyle guided them out onto the main street he appraised Liz with an appreciative, sideways glance. “So you look really nice tonight,” he commented softly.

Liz blushed and ducked her head. “Stop,” she scolded self-effacingly.

“Oh quit it with the modesty crap,” Kyle laughed. He reached across to give her shoulder a playful nudge. “You know damned well you’re pretty.”

“Would you believe you’re the only boy in my entire life’s that’s told me that?” Liz asked with quiet seriousness.

“You’re kidding me!” Kyle exclaimed. Liz answered with a deliberate nod, but Kyle was still not convinced. “Yeah right,” he snorted, “Next you’ll be telling me you were once a butterball with a terrible case of acne and braces.”

“Well, that pretty much sums it up,” Liz quipped with a flippant smile, “Except for the butterball part. I was all knees and elbows back then.”

Kyle gaped at her, unable to reconcile the relaxed brunette beauty beside him with the awkward, gangly girl she described. “Must have been one hell of a growth spurt,” he muttered after a while causing Liz to fall into helpless giggles once more. Kyle looked over at her again, his blue gaze gleaming with something more, something akin to surprise and delight. “I can see it’s going to be one great ride getting to know you, Liz Evans,” he murmured.

He took them to a nice, family restaurant, one that wasn’t overly fancy, but not too casual either. During dinner Liz learned a whole manner of things about Kyle. He was his father’s only child and he came from a family of old money. Two years prior Kyle’s father had remarried and he now had a stepsister that was two years his junior. Though he didn’t speak much about his father’s remarriage Liz could tell the subject was touchy for him. Kyle’s mother had died when he was only eight and, in his eyes, no one could replace her. The very fact that his father had tried filled him with bitter resentment.

“I mean, Amy’s alright,” Kyle told her presently while taking a sip of his dinner wine, “But I’m too old for a mother. For a long time it was just me and my Dad before she came along, but I don’t think she appreciates that. She’d rather think I’m trying to purposely exclude her.”

“Aren’t you?” Liz asked boldly, “You already admitted to telling her that she couldn’t replace your mom. By doing that you told her that you’d already made the comparison and found her lacking.” The moment the statement left Liz’s mouth she wanted to call it back. She always did that. She had a penchant for speaking first and thinking later. Liz was rarely able to keep her opinion to herself and that tendency had gotten her in trouble more times than she could count.

She fully expected for Kyle to blast her and end their date right then and there, but instead he leaned back in his chair and tapped his chin thoughtfully. “I guess you have a point,” he admitted with a soft sigh, “Maybe I’m just afraid that if I let myself like Amy I’ll be somehow betraying my mother.” He laughed to himself then, shaking his head in wry regret. “Listen to me,” he chided himself, “unloading on you like you’re my shrink or something. We’ve spent all this time talking about me and I haven’t let you get a word in edgewise.” He folded his hands atop the table. “Tell me about Liz Evans.”

Her fork clattered noisily against her plate as Liz went instantly stiff. It wasn’t a coincidence that they’d spent the entire night talking about him. She had steered the conversation that way on purpose. The longer Liz talked to Kyle Valenti the more she liked him and the more she liked him the more she dreaded revealing to him that she was married. And she would have to reveal it to him…

Trying to divert the subject, as she’d been doing the entire evening, Liz tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and laughed with forced casualness, “I’m not going to repay your generosity tonight by boring you to tears.”

Kyle leaned forward to brace his elbows atop the table, steepling his fingers against his chin. “I doubt you could be boring even if you tried,” he teased softly, “Stop being coy and tell me about yourself.”

Realizing her reprieve had come to an end, Liz blotted her mouth with her napkin and asked gravely, “What do you want to know?”

“Anything,” Kyle said jovially, “For instance, who are your parents. You’re obviously loaded so it’s possible that your father and my father are business acquaintances…I think I’ve heard my dad mention the name Evans a couple of times.”

Liz wanted to groan aloud. He thought that Evans was her maiden name and not her married name so naturally he would assume her father’s name was Evans as well. She couldn’t very well tell him that her father’s name was Jeffrey Parker without raising suspicion. Liz realized that before this could go any further she would have to tell Kyle the truth.

Honestly, she dreaded it and not because of the prospect of having to explain her arranged marriage to him. In their society that sort of thing was done all the time so he wouldn’t be at all shocked. What Liz dreaded was that he might think her decision to keep that information from him was contrived and deliberate. It might even discourage him from seeing her again and that was the last thing Liz wanted.

She had a good time with Kyle Valenti. In the combined five hours she’d spent with him, tonight and last week, she had laughed more than she had in nearly a month. He made her forget that she was lonely and miserable and trapped in a loveless marriage she couldn’t end. He made her forget that she was in love with her best friend and he didn’t love her back. He made her feel special and she desperately needed that.

However, Liz wasn’t naïve enough to believe that her general like of him would somehow manifest itself into a great love or that Kyle would make her completely forget about Max. She didn’t even expect that. But she wanted someone she could be free with and true with, someone who wouldn’t run when she opened her heart and showed him what was hidden inside. Liz hoped devoutly that Kyle could be that person.

Liz traced the crease of the table clothe with her fingernail. “Kyle,” she sighed hesitantly, her eyes dropping away from his, “there’s something I haven’t told you about myself.”

Kyle didn’t miss the grave edge to her tone, but instead of alarming him it made him smile. “What?” he teased, “Is this the part where you tell me you’re married?” He was intending to put her at ease, to let her know that nothing she could tell him would turn him away. He was too captivated. However, his reassuring sweetness faded to incredulous shock when she unexpectedly confessed, “Actually yeah…it is.”

[Deejonaise]

Chapter Sixteen

“You’re kidding, right?”

Liz shook her head slowly. “I wish I was.”

“Whoa,” Kyle said. He fell back into his chair with a small rush of breath. “I wasn’t expecting that revelation.”

“It hasn’t been long,” Liz rushed to add, fighting the impulse to wring her hands, “only a few weeks really. I don’t even feel like I’m married.”

“Does your husband know you’re here with me now?”

Liz hung her head. “He wouldn’t care,” she admitted in a miserable mumble.

“Somehow I doubt that.”

“No really,” Liz insisted desperately, “He’s gone on with his life as if it never happened. We’re friends, you see…we have been all our lives and he’s in love with someone else…”

“Your marriage was arranged,” Kyle concluded with dawned understanding. He tapped his chin thoughtfully. “Now I’m beginning to see…”

“Max wants to have a marriage in name only,” Liz whispered in mortification, “We decided to live our lives like before.”

“I see,” Kyle observed speculatively.

“Do you really?” Liz burst out, the impassive tone of his voice sending chills of apprehension and dread down her spine. “I really like you, Kyle. A great deal,” she persisted, “I wanted the opportunity to know you better.”

“And you’re married,” Kyle reminded her woodenly.

“Only on paper.” Seeing that she was making no headway with that argument, however, Liz decided to switch tactics. “Look, I’m not proposing that anything happen between us. I would very much like for us to be friends.”

Kyle sighed, relaxing his guarded expression somewhat. “Friendship wasn’t exactly what I had in mind for us, Liz,” he informed her honestly. And then he sighed again, full of remorse and resolve. “Whether you’re married by arrangement or not you’re married…I can’t interfere with that.” Liz tried to blink back the tears his words caused but it was useless. They slipped down her cheeks despite her effort. A flash of remorseful pain slashed across Kyle’s features. “Please, don’t do that,” he implored.

“Is…is it because I lied to you,” Liz sniffled, “Be-because I didn’t t-tell you the tr-truth right away?”

“No, Liz,” Kyle reassured her gently. He reached across the table to cover her hand with his own. “I’m not doing this because you lied to me. This is only our first date and the second time we’ve even seen each other. You weren’t under any obligation to divulge anything to me so I’m not holding your silence against you. I just have a difficult time believing that your husband wouldn’t mind my being here with you.”

“He doesn’t,” Liz whispered tearfully. She dabbed at her eyes with the handkerchief Kyle passed to her. “Max has his own life,” she went on, “He’s in love with someone else so it’s not as if he’s committed to our marriage.”

Again Kyle found himself considering her argument. He pressed her fingers gently in his own and made a small, snorting sound of disbelief. “An arranged marriage,” he muttered under his breath, “I didn’t know they even still did that… And you seem so young to be married already.”

“Yeah, I suppose sixteen is really young,” Liz mumbled in agreement.

“Sixteen!” Kyle exploded, snatching back his hand in surprise. His outburst elicited several curious stares. By the time their small audience had looked away, however, Kyle had managed to regain some of his composure. “You’re only sixteen,” he charged Liz in a furious whisper.

A little stung by his reaction Liz flung back, “Yes, I’m only sixteen. How old did you think I was?”

“I definitely thought you were older than sixteen!” he retorted balefully.

Liz drew herself up stiffly. She was hurt and felt extremely rejected but she’d be damned if she let him see it. “Is there a problem with my being sixteen,” she inquired tartly.

“Only that I’m nearly twenty,” Kyle returned in a choking underbreath. He began to massage his temples as if they were paining him. “Perhaps I should take you home,” he suggested tiredly.

She was on the verge of tears once again, but Liz stubbornly refused to give him the satisfaction of seeing her cry yet again. “Yes,” she agreed gruffly, “Maybe you should.”

When they were back inside Kyle’s car Liz didn’t speak one word, though Kyle tried several times to engage her in conversation. Everything he said was a platitude and only served to make Liz feel abundantly worse. She was a nice girl, he enjoyed her company, it just wasn’t the right time for them…on and on until Liz thought she would literally gag. The more he said, the worse Liz felt.

By the time they reached her house Liz was barely hanging on by a thread. Matters weren’t helped when she spotted Max’s shiny yellow Corvette in the driveway. Liz mentally rolled her eyes at her fortune. Yup, she thought, this night just keeps getting better and better. Why couldn’t a giant anvil just fall on her head right now and put her out of her misery?

“Liz,” Kyle whispered genuinely after he’d shifted his car into park, “I don’t want you to think this has anything to do with what kind of person you are--,”

“Look, Kyle,” Liz said, cutting him off before he could say more, “A kiss off is a kiss off. I’ve heard enough to know when I’m getting one. So see you around and have a nice life!” She slammed out of the car and rushed up to her front door as if he were hot on her heels.

After Liz had pushed her way into the foyer and safely closed the door behind her only then did she release the rigid hold she had on her emotions. God, she hadn’t wanted that much! She had only wanted to feel special, to feel appreciated and she couldn’t even have that. Liz felt like she was paying out everything she had for this so called marriage and was getting absolutely nothing in return. The situation was slowly killing her, suffocating her an inch at a time day by day.

She slumped into the living room, her tears beginning to course down her cheeks, and froze. Max lay sprawled across the sofa, his face bathed in the flickering blue light of the television, fast asleep. The remote control dangled precariously from his limp fingers. Quickly, swiping away her tears, Liz edged forward, her only intention to take the remote away before it crashed to the floor, but she never made it that far. She had only just leaned above him when Max’s eyes fluttered open.

Liz gulped, feeling like she’d been kicked in the gut. “Hi,” she whispered lamely.

“Hi,” Max whispered back. And then he frowned and began pushing himself upright on the sofa. “You’ve been crying,” he observed with tender concern, “What happened?”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Liz replied with a terse shake of her head. She straightened and again brushed her dampened cheeks with her fingers. “I’m going to go to bed. Good night.”

“So you’re not even going to talk to me about it,” Max accused her retreating back softly.

Liz swiveled around to face him with an irritated sigh. “We haven’t talked to each other in days, Max,” she pointed out bitterly, “Why should this time be any different?”

“I’ve hated this silence between us, Liz,” Max murmured plaintively, “It feels like we’re not even friends anymore.”

“Maybe we’re not,” Liz mumbled unsympathetically.

“Don’t say that!” Max cried.

“What do you want from me,” Liz snapped angrily, “You just want me to pretend that I’m okay with you screwing around with Tess while you’re married to me? Is that your idea of friendship, dammit!” She started to sob, her shoulders just shaking and shaking with the force of emotion she couldn’t hold back any longer. “I want more from you.”

“I can’t,” Max muttered miserably, “I can’t give you what you want.”

“Fine! I don’t have anything else to say!” She pivoted on her heel with the intention of marching straight to her room, but he was off the sofa and after her in a second. Max slipped his arms around her waist and brought her back against him, begging her not to leave. The moment he touched her Liz was completely undone. She wilted back against him with violent, jerking sobs. “Wh-Why are you d-doing this t-to m-me, Max!”

“Liz, I don’t want you to hate me,” he whispered into her hair, “Please don’t hate me…please…please…” He tried to ignore how good her body felt against his, how extremely right, but he couldn’t. Max pressed against her closer, burrowing his face in the crook of her shoulder.

“I j-just feel so aw-awful,” Liz wept openly. She was no longer concerned with maintaining her façade of indifference. The effort had finally taken its full toll on Liz. “I h-hate feeling l-like this!”

“Let me hold you, Liz,” Max crooned, turning her into his arms so that she could weep into his chest. He stroked her back in long, slow strokes, saying nothing as she cried out her heart into his t-shirt.

Oddly, being held in his arms was strangely comforting. Even though he was the source for all her misery, the very reason she walked around with a constant lump in her throat, just having him hold her now while she snorted most unattractively into his shirt made Liz feel infinitely better. Perhaps it was true what people said about having a good cry. By the time her sobs had died down into hiccups Liz felt she had a much better handle on herself. She lifted her head and stared up at him in chagrin. “I’m better now,” she whispered sheepishly.

Realizing that was his cue to release her Max reluctantly dropped his arms. “I’ll just go get some tissue for you.” When he found her again she was sprawled across her bed morosely contemplating her ceiling. He went to sit alongside her, flopping backwards so that the lay side by side. Wordlessly, he passed her the tissue, waiting patiently for her to finish honking before he asked, “So what percentage of this crying jag is my fault?”

Liz turned her head and favored him with an irritated look. “What makes you think for a moment that I waste even a second crying over you, Max Evans?” It was unnecessary bravado. Right now her eyes were red and swollen as was the tip of her nose from so much crying. The appearance was becoming quite familiar to both of them.

“Liz, stop it,” Max admonished softly, “I sleep in the room next to yours…I hear you crying at night.”

“You mean when you’re home,” Liz rejoined sarcastically.

“I thought you wanted me to keep my distance,” Max sighed tiredly.

Liz rolled onto her side to face him and propped herself up onto her elbow. “Max, you know what I want from you,” she countered softly, “and it’s not that you keep your distance. What makes this so frustrating is that I think you want the same thing I want.”

“Liz--,” Max said in protest as he started to roll away, “--god, don’t start this.” He hated rejecting her, hated feeling like he had to continually turn his back on her, especially when her misery was so palpable and slicing him to pieces with guilt, but Max didn’t know what else to do. Liz wanted a commitment from him, but what she couldn’t recognize that he was already committed to Tess. He’d made promises to her and he wanted desperately to keep them. Max wanted to be an honorable man, for Tess and Liz both. Which was the exact reason he needed to leave immediately.

However, Liz caught hold of his arm and held him down against the bed when he tried to do exactly that. “No, you came in here to talk…so talk to me.”

Max looked at her with shadowed eyes. She could see his emotions play across his face as he did: remorse, anger, desire…resolve. He was waging an internal battle against loving her and Liz could see it. And he was fighting hard to win. “Liz, I can’t just trash my relationship with Tess,” he replied in a pained whisper, “And even if I did…what’s the guarantee that it will work out between us, huh? We were forced into this marriage. Hell, you’ve never dated anyone at all. For all I know I was your first kiss! That is a recipe for disaster, okay.”

“Why?” Liz persisted in a near shout.

“Because you’re too young,” Max shouted right back.

“You know,” Liz ground out, “You’re the second person to refer to my being young today and it’s beginning to irritate me.” She drew herself up tall, prepared to spew forth all the righteous indignation building inside her when the telephone rang. With narrowed eyes Liz whipped around to yank up the earpiece, redirecting her wrath to the helpless caller. “What do you want?” she demanded in a surly tone.

“L-Liz?” Kyle Valenti stammered in surprise.

Liz went completely still, her eyes widening with the unexpected shock. “Kyle?” She was so stunned by the fact that he was calling her that she completely missed the sharp look Max leveled on her when she uttered Kyle’s name. “I…I didn’t expect to hear from you again,” she said lamely.

“I wasn’t intending to call,” Kyle answered her honestly, “but when I got home I couldn’t stop thinking about you and…and how we ended things. I’m sorry about that.”

“Y-You’re sorry,” Liz sputtered back in surprise.

“I was an ass,” Kyle specified bluntly, “Give me another chance…please?”

“But you said you didn’t want to try,” Liz replied softly. She eased down onto her bed, folding her legs beneath her as her heart began to hammer with a slow drum of hope. “You think I’m too young for you, remember?”

“And married,” Kyle added irreverently, “don’t forget married.”

Liz felt an answering smile tug at the corners of her mouth. “Yeah, that, too.”

“I don’t care,” Kyle said suddenly.

“Excuse me?”

“I don’t care,” he repeated succinctly, “I’d like to see you anyway.”

“And what about me being too young?” Liz countered.

“We can work around that, too…I mean…if you want,” Kyle prompted, “We’ll start platonic and see where it takes us.”

Liz opened her mouth to tell him that she definitely liked the sound of that idea when she belatedly remembered that Max was still there in her bedroom and they had been in the middle of a conversation. But when she lifted her head to ask him for a minute she found that her bedroom was empty.

Max had already gone.

[Deejonaise]

Chapter Seventeen

“So who’s Kyle?” Max inquired casually as he and Liz drove over to her parents’ house for dinner.

His question was deceptively nonchalant, indifferent almost, belying the horrible rolling and tumbling his stomach was doing at that very moment. In reality, Max had been obsessing over that question for the last five days. Who the hell was Kyle? Why did he have Liz giggling into the phone like some lovesick idiot? Why was she suddenly prancing all around the house like a made up minx instead of sporting her usual sweat pants and ponytail? Why did he have her coming home at all kinds of ridiculous times in the night? Why did he have her eyes glowing like two polished opals? Yeah…who the hell was Kyle and what was he doing to Max’s little “squirt?”

Max hadn’t been able to identify his feelings of…well, discomfiture immediately, however. At first, he’d believed his annoyance had sprung from the fact that Liz had mentioned nothing about this Kyle guy to him at all. She stayed out with him until all hours of the night and she had even brought him back to the house a couple of times, but continually failed to make any introductions whatsoever. That particularly irked Max because he’d been basically dealing with the guy’s continual presence for the last week. And there was no escape because, lately, Max had been spending his own evenings at home. From his bedroom he could hear them talking in low, hushed tones in the living room.

Several times he’d been tempted to go stalking in there and demand, quite rudely in fact, who the hell Liz’s visitor was. It irked him that she had brought a stranger into their home and hadn’t once bothered to introduce him, her friggin‘ husband. For that reason alone Max felt he had free reign and right to go off. But he didn’t. Because, despite all his righteous indignation and affront, Max knew his feelings weren’t fair. Here he had been seeing Tess the entire time he’d been married and Liz had allowed it. Admittedly, she hadn’t been at all happy about the situation, but she hadn’t stood in his way either. Now the time had come for Max to give her the same courtesy and he found he’d rather chew broken glass than casually step aside and let Liz move on.

And there is was, the entire ugly truth. Max didn’t like that Kyle could make Liz smile and laugh and simper while all he seemed to do was make her cry. Making Liz laugh hysterically used to be his department and there was a time when no one could do it better. He had been the one whom she shared her secrets with, the one she had talked on the phone with until the middle of the night, the one who had teased her and tickled her silly. That was his privilege, his right and no one else’s, especially not some punk ass, snot nose, weak moth…

Max caught himself in mid-rant. Okay, he was doing it again, mentally raving over some guy he’d never met, hell had never even seen up close for that matter. He was being a dick. Max knew he should be happy that Liz had found someone who finally made her smile, someone who took her out and showed her a good time. He’d watched her mope around the house for weeks now, knew that she cried herself to sleep sometimes, saw how she was gradually sinking into a slow, steady depression since they had married. Max also knew that he was the cause of her misery so the best thing she could do was find someone who could make her forget all that pain and anguish. He should be happy for her. But he wasn’t. Every time he heard her laugh, every time he heard her speak that name in that breathy way she had Max felt like someone was stomping on his heart.

His intense feelings of jealousy had crept upon him gradually. Really, those first stirrings had started with only a mild curiosity. That first day when he’d overhead Liz’s conversation on the phone with Kyle he’d been surprised, but not overly concerned. Initially, it had been a burning displeasure that had sent him stalking from her room, but by the time he reached his own bedroom he had decided this Kyle guy was not a threat.

Max had looked at the situation logically. Though Liz was very often bold in many situations she became completely tongue tied around the opposite sex. Max doubted very seriously that she would be talking to this Kyle person in any capacity other than platonic. Max figured then that Kyle was a school friend and left it at that. He’d been absolutely sure he had no competition for Liz’s affection at all. In fact, it hadn’t even crossed his mind that he cared whether he had competition or not…until later that same evening.

That was when he’d overheard her second conversation with Kyle. He had been packing his bag to head over to Tess’ place when the sound of Liz’s girlish giggle tickled his ears. At first he’d mistakenly believed that she was laughing at something on television but as he crept out into the hall and neared her door he quickly realized that Liz was not watching tv. With hardly a thought over his actions, Max pressed his ear to the door and eavesdropped shamelessly. It only took him a few moments to determine exactly why Liz was giggling and by that time he was fuming.

He didn’t know what bothered him the most: the fact that Liz was talking to another man period or the fact that she was talking to another man after asking him to make their marriage work. How badly could she really want that if she was already talking to the next man, Max wondered bitterly. Max hadn’t stopped to consider the totally hypocritical nature of his thoughts or the fact that he had given Liz no reason to believe she had a chance of convincing him to work on the marriage. All he knew was that he felt betrayed and hurt…and confused.

He’d gone over to Tess’ with a major attitude, which of course, had done nothing more than provoke yet another fight between the two of them. It was actually the first disagreement they’d had that Max provoked, however, he’d been too angry to feel any remorse over his actions. As a result, he and Tess hadn’t seen very much of one another in the last week. Max had been spending more of his time at the house which was exactly how he knew how very little time Liz was spending there. And he didn’t like it, not one, little bit.

Max had already grown accustomed to only seeing her in passing in the mornings before school. Usually she’d be leaving just as he was pulling up to come home. However, the afternoons had been theirs. On occasion they would hang out or study together, sometimes even veg on the sofa in front of the television. However, in the past week Liz had been coming home from school and heading straight for her bedroom. She’d lock herself inside under the pretense of studying, but the walls were not that thick and Max was well aware that she was on the telephone most afternoons. Max hated feeling like she had shut him out of her life and he would spend an inexorable amount of time trying to work up the nerve to talk to her and relieve the tension between them. Unfortunately, by the time he would make the trip to her bedroom Liz would already be gone.

That was also grating on his nerves. It had never been like Liz to leave and not tell him where she was going or leave him out of the loop completely, but now she did it all the time. She would just leave the house without warning or notice. No good-bye, Max, I’ll see you in an hour, Max. Not even a “fuck you.” Nothing. Instead, he was left at home to go insane trying to figure out where she had gone and with whom while forcing himself to remain calm and patient until she deemed to show up again. And then, inevitably, when she would come home an eternity later Max would be waiting for her and spoiling for a fight. That was all they had done that past week, bicker and argue back and forth. The constant tension, the stress, the horrid knot that had settled into his belly was all beginning to wear on Max.

However, since this afternoon it seemed that his situation was finally starting to look up. He and Tess were no longer at odds and he’d even agreed to meet her later that evening after he’d had dinner with his parents and in-laws. But best of all…he was on speaking terms with Liz again. The not talking between them had been slowly killing him a piece at a time. With the prospect of meeting their parents for dinner looming before them Liz had finally seen fit to break the silent battle they had been waging for the last two weeks. They had actually had a semi pleasant conversation with each other before climbing into his car to head over to her parents’ place, which was exactly the reason he’d asked Liz his question. He thought she might be more inclined to answer him now that the ice between them had begun to thaw. He was wrong.

Suddenly the amiable atmosphere within the Corvette went stiflingly tense. Liz favored him with speculative, narrowed eyes. “How do you know about Kyle?” she demanded, “You’re usually asleep when he comes over.”

He was never asleep, but Max didn’t see any reason to admit to her that he’d been eavesdropping on her private conversations. “I can read caller i.d., Liz,” Max replied mockingly, “I’m not an idiot.”

Liz had a bitter retort for that remark but she wisely kept it to herself, instead she went straight to exactly to the heart of her annoyance. “The caller i.d. is in my room, Max,” she pointed out dryly and then her eyes widened with the implication of what he’d done a few seconds later, “Oh my god! Have you been snooping in my room?”

“It’s my house, too!” Max retorted defensively, “I should be able to go where I want!”

“But it’s my room,” Liz railed, “I don’t go into your room whenever I feel like it so why would you do that to me?”

“You have a stand up shower,” Max prevaricated wildly, “I like that!”

Liz raked him with a purely disgusted look. “You’re such a liar,” she accused him softly, “God, and I thought I could trust you.”

“You thought you could trust me?” Max scoffed bitterly, “I’m not the one sneaking around with some guy I barely even know.”

“As opposed to throwing your girlfriend in your wife’s face,” Liz taunted in return, “Yeah, that sounds really trustworthy to me!”

“You’re not my wife where it counts!” Max regretted the words the instant they left his mouth. Seven days of frustration had finally built to a breaking point and had spilled over in the most hurtful way. But even unfairly attacking Liz seemed easier than admitting the truth to her: that he was jealous and he didn’t want her to see Kyle anymore.

Unaware of his torn thoughts, Liz’s breath leaked from her lungs in a pained wheeze. For a moment she could only sit there stunned, blinking at him rapidly in order to get her tears under control. Max needed only to hazard a brief glance at her face to see how much he’d hurt her with his last explosion. His expression veered from belligerent to apologetic. He reached across the car to touch her hand but she jerked away from him, stabbing him with a glare of angry pain. “Don’t touch me!”

Max didn’t know what was wrong with him. He felt twisted inside, like he was being gnawed from the inside out. And now he was lashing out at Liz and hurting her, something he had never wanted to do. “Liz, I’m so sorry--,”

“I want this to be over,” Liz croaked quietly.

Max went utterly still. “What?”

Liz dropped her gaze to her lap and began tugging at her wedding ring. “I don’t want to be married to you anymore,” she sobbed, “I…I don’t care what happens… I just can’t do this anymore.”

“Liz, our parents will never consent--,”

“I don’t give a damn!” Liz screamed hysterically, flinging her ring at his head, “I don’t want to be married to you anymore, Max! I hate it! I hate you!” She promptly burst into sobs afterwards, burying her face in her hands.

Now Max was the one who felt as if he’d been kicked in the gut. Her words slashed at him like knives and brought instant tears to his eyes. He blinked as the road before him began to blur. Max listened to her harsh weeping, feeling as if his heart were crumbling with her every sob, before something else finally took over and he was pulling the car over into the deserted parking lot of a nearby bank.

“What are you doing?” Liz sniffled when she realized what he was doing.

Max didn’t answer immediately, but instead cut the engine and folded his hands over the steering wheel. He didn’t look at her when he asked in a gruff tone, “Did you mean what you just said?”

“A-About not wanting to be married t-to y y-you?” Liz hiccupped.

“About hating me?” He turned to regard her then, his golden eyes glistening in the dark confines of the car. “Do you hate me, Liz?”

He was staring at her in the most penetrating way, as if he could see straight down into her soul. Liz knew that it would be futile to lie…he would see the truth anyway and frankly she didn’t feel like hiding it any longer. “No, I don’t hate you, Max,” she confessed in a suffocated voice, “I love you.”

Max actually crumpled with relief, his tears spilling over at her soft admission. Liz loved him. She actually loved him. It was a moment of striking clarity for Max. Like finally recognizing something he had wanted all along without ever realizing he wanted it. He was still reeling over her words when she whispered again, “I love you, Max. And it’s killing me that you don’t love me back.”

“Liz, I--,”

“Why can’t you?” Liz implored tearfully, “Why can’t you love me back?”

“I…I…” do. I do love you back, Liz. The words echoed in his heart, fighting to push their way past his lips. But he said nothing. He felt frozen, paralyzed, lost in her eyes as always, inexplicably compelled by the pleading he saw there. And he wanted to take the hurt away from her…more than anything. He wanted to stop hurting, too. If she wanted out of their marriage then he’d be gracious enough to give it to her and damn the consequences.

Max reached across the seats and pulled her into his arms, holding her against him tightly despite the awkwardness it caused. “We’ll talk to our parents tonight,” he said to her softly, stroking her hair tenderly, “I’ll make this better for you…I promise.”

[Deejonaise]

Chapter Eighteen

They were an hour late for dinner. As they straggled into the foyer the housekeeper eyed them disapprovingly as they shrugged out of their coats. “Your father no like, Miss Liz,” Consuela said in stilted English, “Senor Parker and Senor Evans wait for you in study. Esta no muy alegre.”

“Thank you, Consuela,” Liz returned dully. She turned to Max with a heavy, reluctant sigh. “Doesn’t sound like they’re very happy.”

“I don’t really think they’ll ever be happy, Liz,” Max replied flatly, “We might as well just go in there and lay it all down.”

They clasped their hands together and walked down the long, winding hallway leading to Jeff Parker’s study. Outside the heavy, wooden double doors Max paused and turned slightly to regard Liz. “This is gonna change everything,” he whispered, “Are you ready for that?”

Liz shook her head dismissively. “I don’t think it will be as bad as we think,” she ventured bravely, “They love us…they might not be happy with our decision but they’ll get over it.”

“Maybe your father will,” Max countered dully, “but mine won’t. After we go in there and tell them that we won’t to end our marriage with or without their consent…my life is over. I know he’ll disown me. All my life my father has wanted one thing: a piece of the Parker empire and my marriage to you got him what he coveted most. Now he’ll probably spend the rest of his life tied up in court battles with your father.”

“What do you mean?” Liz asked, frowning.

“When we divorce my father’s going to walk with 1/3 of your father’s company.”

Liz gaped at him in astonishment. “You’re kidding, right?”

Max shook his head in sad confirmation. “I’m afraid not,” he told her quietly, “When you married me your share of your father’s estate came under my control and, consequently, my father’s control. Your inheritance belongs to him now.”

“So when we divorce?” Liz prodded.

“You get squat and so do I.” Max intoned flatly.

Liz stood there reeling. As if she hadn’t already experienced enough emotional upheaval in one night now Max was taking her over the edge with this newest revelation. Why was it when it seemed that she was so near to having the freedom she craved it was snatched away before she could even touch it? Yes, she was locked in a miserable, loveless marriage and yes, it was destroying a longtime friendship that she had cherished most of her life, but could she really break the contract knowing what her father stood to lose? Liz felt boxed in. She wanted desperately to do the right thing, but was reluctant to further sacrifice her happiness in order to do so.

“My father could lose his company,” Liz asked in a painful whisper, “That’s…that’s not fair. My dad built Parker Industries from the ground up. He started with absolutely nothing!”

“Maybe he can do it again,” Max suggested lamely.

“He shouldn’t have to,” Liz replied scornfully, “He’s poured everything he has into Parker Industries. Your father just can’t take it away from him!”

“He’s not taking anything,” Max reminded her gently, “My father is now a majority stockholder in Parker Industries. It’s all perfectly legal.”

“But our fathers are friends,” Liz protested weakly.

“Philip Evans is a businessman first and always,” Max declared bitterly, “If he wouldn’t think twice about disinheriting his own son why do you think for a moment he’d have a problem with taking your father’s company?”

“But I don’t understand,” Liz went on, “If your father can have a piece of Parker Industries whether we divorce or not then why has he been threatening to disown you if you don’t commit yourself to our marriage.”

“I already told you,” Max said with a thread of impatience, “If we divorce that will raise speculation as to whether we ever had a real marriage to begin with. Let’s face it, Liz. We’ve been married three weeks…there’s no way we will be able to convince anyone we had a real marriage and I don’t doubt your father would go to great lengths to prove that we didn’t. And as long as our marriage can be lawfully nullified my father won’t be entitled to any part of Parker Industries.”

“Hence the legal battles you mentioned before,” Liz finished with dawning comprehension.

“Exactly.” Max sighed when he stared down into Liz’s indecisive features. “Liz, don’t do this,” he implored, “You’ve already made up your mind to do what’s best for you. Don’t let fear of what will happen to your father or to me keep you from doing what will make you happy. Our fathers created this mess, let them straighten it out.”

“And what about you?” Liz countered softly, “What are you going to do? How will you pay for school?”

“Ever heard of financial aid,” Max quipped lightly.

Though he sounded quite nonchalant Max was more scared than he’d ever been in his life. Never, in all his eighteen years, had he ever had to support himself. His every need and desire had been provided for by his parents. He’d never had a job, never paid a bill. Max was quite pampered, protected and secure. The very thought of that security being ripped away paralyzed him. He didn’t have a great deal of confidence that he could make it on his own. But then he supposed that’s what becoming a man involved. Eventually, he would have to stand on his own.

And that was exactly the reason he refused to betray his fear to Liz right now. She had already sacrificed more than enough on his behalf and he had repaid her with nothing but misery and heartache. He could do this thing for her. He could give her freedom and face whatever consequences lay ahead for him afterwards.

He didn’t examine too closely the fact that he wasn’t entirely sure he wanted to end the marriage any more. Strangely enough, he liked being married to Liz. He liked seeing her in the afternoons when he came home from school, liked sharing his Saturday mornings with her. He would spend more time with her if he could. But then he’d always enjoyed Liz’s company, had always been captivated by the sound of her laugh and had delighted in her smile.

Why had he never realized it before? Why had he never seen the truth before now? He loved her, really, truly, deeply loved her. It was a feeling that he’d never had for another person in his life, not even Tess. Liz had seen a part of his soul that Tess couldn’t even begin to touch. She was his rock, his anchor…she was his home.

And because her presence had always meant so much to Max he had always been deathly afraid of screwing it up. He had a habit of doing that…just look what happened with Tess and the miscarriage. If there was a way to destroy the budding relationship between him and Liz he would find it. Hell, he’d already begun to undermine their friendship without half trying.

Max didn’t think that Liz, or anyone else for that matter, realized just how precious her friendship was to him. There was only one person in the world that he felt at liberty to be real with and that was Liz. He had shared everything in his life with her, with only Tess’ miscarriage as the exception, and only then because he had dreaded seeing the disappointment on her face when he told her. Or maybe, he had feared, even disgust. He’d had been at such a low point in his life then, hating himself with such a virulence he found it hard to consider that Liz wouldn’t hate him, too.

Before that moment Max had never realized just how much Liz’s opinion meant to him or how much he valued it. She had always set the standard so wonderfully high and Max had always endeavored to rise to her expectations, only in the last few weeks, he had been failing miserably…and it was slowing breaking his heart to pieces. He didn’t like falling from that pedestal she had placed him on. It had been so very high and Max felt like he was still falling.

She deserved to be happy and obviously he couldn’t do it. He couldn’t give her what she really wanted because of his own internal war. His very confusion over what he should do had driven her away. If he stayed with Tess he felt like he’d be fulfilling his obligations, but he’d be miserable. And if he went with Liz…he knew he could be happy, but what kind of man would that make him? Would Liz really be able to trust him to stay with her after he told her the truth? And he would have to tell her…he couldn’t completely commit himself to their marriage without doing so.

Commit himself to their marriage? What was he thinking? Liz wanted out. She had just told him so not an hour before and here he was considering the merits of staying together. But then she’d also told him she loved him, too, Max argued internally. However, the little nagging voice in the back of his mind was quick to counter, “But she didn’t say she was in love with you.” Max shook his head to clear his mind of the conflicting thoughts. It didn’t matter. Liz was miserable at this point and he’d made her that way. He didn’t deserve to be with her now, not after the way he’d been treating her…not after the way he’d made her cry. Maybe she could find happiness with Kyle…maybe that was for the best.

With a despondent sigh, Max gently squeezed Liz’s hand and reached for the doorknob to her father’s study. “Come on,” he said stiffly, “we might as well get this over with.” But when he tried to pull Liz along with him she held back. He turned to survey her with a speculative look. “They’re waiting, Liz.”

Liz nibbled at her lower lip in uncertainty. “Are you sure you want to do this?” she whispered, clearly torn.

“Are you?” Max countered softly.

Liz dropped her dejected gaze, contemplating the hardwood floor beneath her feet. “I don’t know what I want, Max,” she finally admitted after some silence, “I’m scared.”

She felt his fingers slide into her hair as he gently tucked strands of her hand behind her ears. “I don’t know what I want either,” Max confessed gruffly, suddenly feeling on the verge of tears, “But maybe we just shouldn’t prolong this, Liz.”

How could she forget, Liz wondered bitterly. Max didn’t want to be with her. He didn’t want their marriage. Of course, he’d be jumping at the chance to end it. Maybe she was a fool for thinking she could ever get him to love her in the first place. They’d had their shot and it had all ended in disaster. Max still didn’t love her and she was very nearly on the edge of hating him. It was a long way from where their friendship had started. It had only been three weeks and already Liz felt like an entirely different person. She suspected that maybe Max was different as well. And he was right, of course. There was no need to prolong their unfortunate marriage any longer. It had never really been real in the first place.

Inhaling deeply, Liz lifted her head and looked Max straight in the eye. “Okay,” she said with determined resolve, “I’m ready.”

When they entered the massive study their fathers were already seated over near Jeff Parker’s desk, conversing softly amongst themselves. At the quiet entrance of their children, however, they glanced up, noting almost immediately how Max and Liz walked into the study hand in hand.

“You missed dinner,” Jeff Parker accused his daughter succinctly, coming to his feet, “Your mother was disappointed.”

“We…we were just running a bit late,” Liz stammered out in excuse. There was no point in explaining the real reason for their lateness as she and Max would be addressing that issue shortly.

“Is this for our benefit,” Philip Evans inquired coolly, inclining his head towards their clasped hands in indication.

Instead of releasing her hand as Liz expected him to do, Max gave her fingers a gentle squeeze as if to reassure her that everything would work out fine. And then he met his father’s flinty gaze, his tone unwavering when he said, “Liz and I have something we wish to discuss with you.”

“Well, that’s coincidental,” Jeff Parker drawled silkily, “because we have something we wish to discuss with the both of you.” He fixed his daughter with irate eyes. “Who the hell is Kyle Valenti?” Liz was so taken aback by his accusation, by the very fact that he knew about Kyle that she could only stand and stare at him in stupefied shock. “Answer me, goddammit!” her father roared.

“He’s…he’s just a friend,” Liz rushed out in a panic.

“Oh really,” her father speculated, swiveling around to whip something from his desk top before whirling to face her again. “Is this the kind of thing you do with a friend?” He shoved a glossy, black and white 8x12 photograph in her face. It had been taken only a few days ago and had captured a moment between her and Kyle when he was giving her an innocent goodnight kiss on her front steps.

In reality, the kiss had been brief, just a brushing of lips before he pulled back to say goodnight. But in the photo it looked absolutely damning. The photographer had caught the shot just as Kyle was pulling back and at that moment they were staring into one another’s eyes and smiling softly. Anyone who might have seen the photo would have definitely drawn the conclusion that they were more than friends.

Liz slid her mortified gaze from her father to Max. Max had gradually released her fingers, his entire face gone chalk white. If Liz didn’t know better she’d swear he looked hurt at that moment. Good, she thought with a flash of angry pain, now he knows how it feels. But her feelings of justification were short lived as her father snapped out, “How does that make you feel, Max…to know your wife is carrying on around town like a common whore?”

If he’d physically slapped her Liz couldn’t have been more devastated. She jerked against Max with a painful wince and started to cry. Max wrapped his arms about her shoulders protectively and leveled Jeff with a hateful glare. “How dare you say something like that to her?” he charged angrily, “Liz is not a whore! What kind of man are you to spy on her this way!”

“You’re hardly one to talk are you, son?” Philip Evans countered with a stiff smile, “It’s common knowledge that you have yet to end your relationship with that twit Tessa Harding! Of course, Liz would think what was good for the goose was good for the gander as well.”

“You don’t know what the hell you’re talking about,” Max whispered hatefully.

Before he knew what was happening his father had grabbed hold of his shirt and was propelling him back into the wall. Max could hear Liz’s screams of hysteria and Jeff bellowing in the background as Philip pushed his face within inches of his son’s. “Listen to me, you little shit,” Philip enunciated through his teeth, “I have broken men twice your age and with twice your balls. Do you really want to fuck with me?”

“Dad, let me go,” Max ordered, but his command was shaky and it was obvious his father wasn’t the slightest bit intimidated.

“I’m going to say this to you once and only once,” Philip said in a voice so low that only Max could hear, “You’ll fuck that Parker girl and you’ll like it. You’ll make her happy and give her plenty of babies to keep her occupied. Then when the dust settles you can screw Tess Harding until your brains leak out. Hell, you can screw whoever you want, but don’t you dare mess up this deal for me now. There are millions of dollars at stake here and if you fuck with me…” he grabbed hold of Max’s jaw and forced back the boy’s gaze when he would have turned away, “Max, if you fuck with me I won’t hesitate to destroy you utterly…son or not.”

When he finally pushed away from Max both men were shaking uncontrollably. Liz shoved out of her father’s arms and ran to Max’s side. “God, are you alright,” she murmured, reaching up to brush away the tears that had unconsciously fallen onto his cheeks. Max grabbed her hands and pulled them away, his disillusioned gaze still transfixed on his father. “Maybe we should leave,” he suggested to her hoarsely. Liz slipped her arm about his waist and nodded in agreement.

“Yes and don’t come back until you‘ve fulfilled your obligations,” Jeff Parker intoned as they turned for the door. Liz froze in mid-step but didn’t turn back to face him. “If you don’t make this marriage work, Elizabeth, you’re as good as dead to me…don’t bother coming home again.” Jeff couldn’t see it because Liz’s back was turned but she broke down into hysterical sobs right then. Max ushered her out quickly so as not to give their fathers the satisfaction of seeing either of them cry.

When they were gone Jeff Parker crumpled down into his desk chair and covered his face with his hands. “God, I hope we’re doing the right thing, Phil,” he moaned in remorse, “Did you see her face? Damn, she thinks I hate her…I made her feel like a slut.”

Philip braced his hands against Jeff’s desk with a heavy sigh. “It’s for the best, Jeff,” he replied gruffly, “They’ll unite if they see us as the common enemy. We’re doing the right thing.”

Jeff leaned his head back against his chair wearily. “Why can’t they see it, Phil,” he lamented tiredly, “Why can’t they see they were meant to be together?”