And the Road Shall Lead You Home (ML/ Adult) (Complete)

[Deejonaise]

Okay, so I said not another part til Monday. That still stands after this part. I guess I wanted to go ahead and post since: 1. it was already written and 2. it jumpstarts the momentum for this story. So here it is and I'll "see" you all this coming Monday.


Chapter Ten

Liz Parker March, 2002

Life has a funny way of delivering to you the thing you want most and in the most unexpected fashion. I’ve been beating around for weeks, trying to find Tess Harding with absolutely no help from my friends. I’ve been met with dead ends all around, being essentially told by everyone I care about to give it up. And yet the moment I’m ready to take their advice and throw in the proverbial towel Fate delivers me a boon and I find Tess Harding in the unlikeliest of places.

But here’s the weird part. In wanting something so badly there’s always that moment of supreme letdown when you realize it’s not going to clog that empty feeling inside your heart. And then inevitably what you’ve wanted to near obsession becomes more than what you bargained for. And then sometimes it can lead you in directions you never even expected.

**********

Liz walked blindly down the drugstore isle, half-heartedly perusing the array of anti-nausea medicines spread out before her. But her search for relief from her ever-growing battle with morning sickness seemed inane and pointless, much like her life of late. Honestly, she went through the right motions. She studied hard. She worked hard. She was the epitome of perfection, availing herself to her parents whenever necessary and playing the dutiful friend on the side. Liz did everything right and yet…not a single bit of it brought her any joy.

She felt as if she were slowly drowning, kicking and fighting all the while but going under nonetheless. And she was consumed, day and night, with the need for revenge. Every morning she woke with the knowledge that Alex was dead and that his killer was walking around unpunished for it. And every day that knowledge embittered her a bit more than before.

Liz suffered from constant headaches and stomach pains as a result, ails which were only compounded by the natural changes her body was undergoing due to her pregnancy. She was bloated and achy and just generally cranky and all that when she wasn’t obsessing over her pregnancy.

Her pregnancy, Liz thought sullenly. Three months along and she still wasn’t able to wrap her mind around it. Was she, Liz Parker, really going to have a baby? Was she really going to go through with it? Even with her first prenatal appointment looming at the end of the week Liz still couldn’t grasp it. The idea that there was a child growing inside her just seemed so incredibly surreal…unreachable. Really Liz couldn’t grasp anything beyond her unyielding thirst for revenge. Without that to keep her going Liz seriously doubted that she could find the strength to get up in the mornings.

She also had the added stress of fielding questions from her family and friends. They were worried about her. She could tell from the anxious glances they would send in her direction when they thought she wasn’t looking. Liz had no idea that their fear was prompted by the dark bruises that circled her eyes and the lifeless way she dragged from one day to the next. She had no idea that the depression that was riddling her from the inside was beginning to manifest itself outside. She had no way of knowing that her parents had secretly begun debating whether or not she was in need of therapy. Liz could see none of this because she was fixated on one goal only: to find Tess Harding and kill her.

With her frustrated plans still plaguing her, Liz took one last cursory glance at the medicine counter before shrugging, spinning on her heel and heading back up towards the front of the store. So much for the peaceful outing she’d envisioned. She should have known better than to think she could escape her problems with a trip to the drugstore, even if only for a few minutes.

Liz started to cut up the book and candy isle for a shortcut towards the entrance when she caught a flash of curly blond hair out the corner of her eye. The back of her neck tingled with recognition. Slowly, Liz swung about, her body suddenly dotted in cold beads of sweat. Her ears whooshed with the sound of her own blooding pounding furiously through her veins. Air lodged in her chest, constricting it tightly and overwhelming her with mild vertigo. Already her head was playing out a dozen different scenarios even as she was mentally talking herself out of the very possibility.

It could not possibly be this easy. There was no way, Liz reasoned, that Tess Harding would fall so easily into her lap after weeks of intense and fruitless searching. There was no way that after reaching every dead end possible she would simply cross Tess Harding’s path in a local drugstore. It was almost too ironic, too laughable. Her heart fluttered wildly in her chest, beating a path up her throat and lodging there.

Swallowing hard, Liz closed her eyes and slowly crept a glance around the isle where she saw the fleeting curls. When she wrenched them open again it was to find that what she had been striving for nearly a month was finally within her grasp. In that second, it seemed that the entire world ground to a screeching halt for Liz.

There she stood, young and vital and as if no time had passed at all. Tess Harding; blond, petite, pretty and, unfortunately, alive. In the near ten months since the last time Liz had seen her there had only been a few slight variations to her appearance. Her hair was longer now and clipped back from her face. She was dressed in a baggy sweat suit made of pink velour, the very picture of a young, teenage girl. Her girlish features were just as guileless as ever, but Liz well knew the diabolical malice that lurked beneath that sweet exterior.

Liz whipped back out of sight, pressing hard against the front of the isle as her thoughts raced through her mind at a furious rate. She could easily do it now, when they were practically alone in the isle. There was no one around to witness. Most of the customers were all on the other side of the store and… She was so close. All she had to do was blast her and run.

She eased towards the edge of the isle, intent upon carrying out her haphazard plan when at the last second she caught sight of a surveillance camera situated near the ceiling off in the far corner of the store. Liz froze and slowly lowered her hand, swinging her eyes about the rest of the store. A quick glance around revealed three others just like it. Liz recognized that if she killed Tess now her actions would be captured on tape. She also knew she couldn’t risk it. But even as her mind was processing that this was neither the time nor place for an attack her heart simply could not let it go.

Perhaps if she could just get closer, if she could manage to glance past Tess without being noticed then she could… She would only need to garner enough power to kill her with a touch. If she could focus enough, if she was quick enough she just might possibly pull it off.

Her plan only half formed, Liz slipped around the corner and unexpectedly came eye to eye with Tess. Both girls leapt away from each other in startled disconcertion. Understandably, Tess was surprised at seeing Liz again, but Liz’s surprise sprang from another reason entirely. She had never intended for Tess to see her at all. She had never intended for Tess to see anything ever again. And yet, somehow the moment did not seem wrong, in fact, though awkward and weird, it felt strangely destined. Liz couldn’t help but wonder if Tess had been waiting for the moment as long as she had.

After taking a several moments to regain her composure, Tess quirked her lips into a derisive smirk. “I can’t say I was expecting ever to see you again,” she remarked lightly, “But I can’t say I’m completely surprised either.” Liz only stood there, fists clenched at her sides, power gathering in her fingertips. Unaware, Tess continued on in her snide remarks. “I must admit that I never expected you to dump Max so flat on his ass after I left though,” she laughed, “I figured if you had settled for my sloppy seconds once…you’d do it again. Way to show some spine, Parker.”

“You might think that you’ve gotten away with murder, Tess,” Liz enunciated tautly, hatred vibrating in her every word, “But I’m here to tell you otherwise. I haven’t forgotten what you did and I’m here to make you pay.”

“You’re gonna make me pay?” Tess echoed, clearly not intimidated.

“You’ve gone unpunished for Alex’s death long enough.”

“Oh, please not this again,” Tess snorted with a roll of her eyes, “First Maria and now you. When will you two get tired of being thrown about like rag dolls? It has to be painful and it’s getting a little tiresome for me.”

“You’re a soulless bitch,” Liz uttered.

“Yadda, yadda, yadda,” Tess recited dryly, “Look, I’m going to say this one more time for your benefit only…and honestly, I should just get a t-shirt made…but here it is, for the hundredth time: I did not mean to kill Alex. It was an accident.”

“One you didn’t waste any time covering up,” Liz spat in reply.

“And what should I have done instead,” Tess wondered acerbically, “Should I have gone to Max with what I had done? Do you think he would have been understanding or forgiving? You think he just would have brushed it aside? How about you, Liz? Would you have been willing to overlook my little boo-boo?”

Her callous reference to Alex as nothing more significant than a “boo-boo” was the final straw for Liz. She grasped hold of Tess’ wrists; focusing every ounce of concentration she had on bursting the major arterial veins found there. But Tess, flinching with pain, caught on to Liz’s intentions rather quickly and flung her away, slinging her into the adjacent isle with enough force to knock the wind from her chest. Liz slumped to the floor, her back and shoulders burning with fiery pain.

Tess scoffed a bit as she hunkered down before a fallen Liz. “Well, will surprises ever cease, Parker,” she observed, “Seems you’ve developed some powers for yourself since last we saw each other.” She reached forward to flick up a strand of Liz’s hair only to have her hand angrily batted away. “I have to give you credit for originality,” Tess laughed, “Much better than DeLuca’s tired and predictable running attack.”

“I’m going to kill you,” Liz ground out.

“I believe you,” Tess replied calmly, rising to her feet, “But it won’t be today. Get up.” Liz scrambled to her feet, never taking her eyes off Tess during her ascent. She watched warily as Tess began sizing her up. “I can’t believe I was actually threatened by you at one time,” she taunted scornfully, “I should have realized then you weren’t any competition.”

“Competition?” Liz queried with a mocking laugh, “Are we talking about Max now? If I recall, the only way you could get him to come within ten feet of you is to mess around with his head. He never felt anything for you, Tess.”

“Really?” Tess baited, “Are you sure? Because as I remember it…he ended up in my bed. You do remember, don’t you, Liz? It’s how we made that sweet baby of ours.” Liz arced her fist around with the intention of knocking Tess flat but the other girl caught hold of her wrist in a firm grasp. “Please not that again,” Tess tsked, smirk in place, “You must realize by now that you’re no match for me.”

“Let me go,” Liz snapped, yanking her arm from Tess’ hold, “What do you want, Tess?”

“What do I want?” she returned with a touch of amusement, “You were the one who tried to kill me, remember?” Liz remained stonily silent, so infuriated that it never even crossed her mind to fear for her life. “You know, I actually don’t have anything against you, Liz.”

“I can’t tell you how that warms my heart,” Liz jibed in acidic tones.

“The point is,” Tess went on, ignoring her sarcasm, “You can walk away from this, Parker. My business is with Max, Isabel and Michael only. It doesn’t concern you at all.”

“Oh, it concerns me,” Liz contradicted, “And it has concerned me ever since you killed Alex. I’m not walking away from anything…not until you pay for it.”

“For the last time,” Tess cried, “Alex was an accident!”

“A casualty of war?” Liz queried.

“Exactly.”

“You’re such a liar,” Liz uttered in disgust.

“You have no idea what it’s like to be me,” Tess ground out in a whisper, “I’ve had to make unconscionable decisions all my life, since the moment I first emerged from the pod. I do what I must to survive.”

“And kill whoever gets in your way,” Liz finished succinctly.

Tess narrowed her eyes cunningly and she advanced on Liz until there was nothing but mere inches between them. “I haven’t killed you, have I?” she whispered menacingly, “And I could…if I wanted to…” Her eyes blazed intently, a fierce, brilliant blue. They hypnotized, compelled so that Liz felt as if she were being sucked into her stare.

Suddenly it was as if her mind were an open field. Liz could feel Tess strolling through her thoughts, her memories as if she were taking nothing more than an afternoon walk. She felt paralyzed, suspended in motion unable to stop the violation of her mind, unable to stop Tess from taking what she wanted. When it was done Liz was left shaking all over. She weaved back against the store isle weakly.

“Wha…What did you just do to me?” she demanded faintly.

“Nothing,” Tess whispered, “But I could have. I could have left you with nothing. You wouldn’t have even known how to tie your own shoe when I was finished.” Liz stared her down, although inwardly she was cringing with the threat. “But I wanted to prove a point,” Tess went on softly, “I won’t hurt you, Liz…not if you stay out of my way.”

“Alex--,” Liz groaned.

“—Is dead,” Tess concluded promptly, “He’s in a better place now. Isn’t that what you humans always say? I suppose that means his troubles are over, don’t you think?”

“You’re a monster.”

Tess shrugged. “Maybe,” she considered, “Or perhaps I’m only a mother acting in my child’s best interests…just like I’m sure you’re acting in yours.” Liz inhaled a soundless gasp, trembling anew. She said nothing aloud to confirm Tess’ postulation but she didn’t need to. The blond girl’s eyes fairly gleamed with knowledge. Tess’ characteristic smirk reasserted itself. “I wonder if Max knows already that he’s really lost you for good.”

“Just shut up about Max!” Liz grated.

“Ooh,” Tess crooned mockingly, “So protective of someone you claim to care nothing about, aren’t you? But then I know different, don’t I?” When Liz didn’t give her the satisfaction of answering Tess’ smile only grew wider. “Listen,” she continued, stroking a lone finger down the curve of Liz’s cheek, “we both have our own interests to protect here. You say you’re done with Max and, if those memories of yours are any indication I certainly believe it, so why not leave him to me? Just walk away, Liz.”

Liz shoved her aside; scrubbing her hand across the cheek Tess had the temerity to touch. “Don’t tell me what to do,” she spat furiously, “I’m not afraid of you.”

“That’s too bad,” Tess remarked as she stepped away, “Because you should be.”

[Deejonaise]

Chapter Eleven

Max’s pre-calculus textbook lay open on the bed before him but he didn’t even glance at it. Instead Zan, who had only recently discovered his little toes, claimed his undivided attention. Besotted grin stretched across his face, he watched Zan determinedly gum his tiny foot, laughing at the loud slurping sound the baby made.

“Do they taste that great, buddy?” he teased softly, delighted when Zan paused in his task long enough to favor him with a wide, toothless grin. That unbidden smile was enough to dispel the lingering anxiety from Max’s mind. He stretched out alongside his son and stroked the fuzzy slope of his head. “God,” he sighed wistfully, “I wish it could be like this always.” Max started to lean down and press a kiss to his forehead when the rattling sound at his window startled him upright.

By the time he had scrambled from his bed Liz was already climbing in through his window. Max stared at her, torn between incredulous disbelief and unending gladness. His limbs began an immediate and frenzied trembling, that heightened when she was fully inside and staring at him with shuttered brown eyes. He might have been inclined to believe he’d conjured her up entirely from his imagination were it not for the intoxicating scent of her flooding his nostrils. This was no apparition. Liz was there. She was real.

“Liz?” he huffed out shakily, “What are you doing here?”

An unquestionably lame opening to be sure but at the moment Max couldn’t think of a better response. His mind was a spinning plot of blankness. He didn’t what he should say or how he should feel and, consequently, just spent the seconds staring at her dumbly as if he expected her to disappear as abruptly as she had appeared.

Of course it was understandable that he would be at such a complete loss for words. After receiving the cold shoulder from her for nearly a month the last thing Max expected was for Liz Parker to come falling through his bedroom window. Since their ill fated conversation in the music room Max had done his utmost to respect her wishes and keep his distance.

Doing so had been the hardest experience of his life. Life was much the way it had been before he had revealed himself to her. He watched her from afar, longing for her, daydreaming of times that would never be. Only this time around the pining was much more painful. Because he had tasted life with Liz Parker. He had known how it felt to be with her and Max was more than aware of what he was missing. Consequently, Max hadn’t expected to have her in his presence ever again, much less his bedroom. The sudden change was more than enough to render him temporarily speechless.

Fortunately, Liz didn’t seem to suffer from the same loss of verbalization. She unexpectedly broke the awkward silence between them with a gentle grunt. “Um…do you think you need to get him?”

Her question was met with a blank green-gold stare. “Get who?”

“The baby,” Liz clarified as she inclined her head towards the bed, “He’s about to roll off the bed.”

Max whipped around like a shot, bending to scoop Zan up in his arms before the determined little one could reach the edge. But instead of depositing the baby into his playpen where he could roll around to his heart’s content, Max cradled him in his arms, unconsciously using him as a buffer to the tension filling his bedroom. Somehow holding the baby close helped to steady his nerves.

“What are you doing here, Liz?” he asked again, but this time his tone had a definite edge, “I thought you didn’t want to see me. Wasn’t that what you said?”

Liz stared down at the tops of her tennis shoes in acute discomfort. “I’ve changed my mind,” she mumbled simply.

Max snorted at that. “Well, hallelujah!” he retorted in obvious sarcasm, “Did it ever cross your mind that maybe I didn’t want to see you?”

She supposed that she expected his recalcitrant attitude but she wasn’t prepared for it. It had taken a great deal of humility for Liz to come here and she refused to remain just to take his abuse. He well knew the reasons she’d asked him to stay away and Liz didn’t feel she had to justify those reasons. If he wanted to play the victim then he was more than welcome to but that didn’t mean that she had to stay and listen. Having made up her mind, Liz just turned back towards the window. “I’m sorry I bothered you,” she whispered, “I’ll just go then.”

“Why did you come here in the first place, Liz?” Max demanded irately, “You really need to make up your mind and decide what you want because you’re twisting me in knots here. I don’t know what’s going on in your head right now.”

She lurched back around to face him and shoved her fluttering hands into the back pockets of her jeans. When she awkwardly met his penetrating stare, she shifted them yet again this time self-consciously tucking a strand of hair behind her left ear. “I’m…I’m not trying to do that, you know,” she denied tentatively.

“Then what are you trying to do?” Max asked.

“I need a favor,” she murmured quietly, “I…uh…was wondering if your offer from the other day still stood.”

“M-My offer?” Max stammered dubiously and then just to be an ass he added, “And what offer would that be?”

Liz ground her teeth, but carefully kept her tone neutral when she spoke again. “To…to help me train and control my powers,” she reminded him haltingly, “I…I know I said I didn’t want your help,” she rushed out when he looked as if he might argue, “But I can’t do it on my own. I tried and…I just can’t do it.”

“Why now?” Max wondered, shifting his squirming son in his arms, “What changed all of a sudden?”

Liz hadn’t fully expected for Max to make it easy on her and he wasn’t. It was quite evident he had every intention of making her squirm. Naturally, her pride rebelled over the idea but her desire to grind Tess into dust won out over pride. Instead she struggled valiantly to keep control of her temper by focusing on the most innocent occupant of the room: the baby.

She had supposed that she would hate him on sight or at least feel some great resentment for him, but she didn’t. All her ill feelings were directed primarily toward his father. As for the baby…well, he was beautiful and how could he not be so being Max Evans’ son. But then there was the disconcerting fact that he had his mother’s bright blue eyes right down to their wide almond shape. And he watched her intently, much like his mother, but without the sinister quality that usually lurked behind Tess’ stare. It was almost as if he recognized her somehow.

It didn’t escape Max’s notice how intently Liz watched Zan. She scrutinized him keenly, her expression a mixture of resentment, remorse and resignation as she beheld him. He could tell that a million different thoughts were tumbling through her head right then because each and every one played themselves out in open view on her face. In contrast, however, Max schooled his features to remain recondite. He wouldn’t let himself wonder over her sudden interest in his son. He wouldn’t let himself hope for something better. Max didn’t plan to reveal a single emotion until he knew exactly what had motivated her to come to him in the first place.

“Say something for crying out loud!” he barked when she remaining unforthcoming with an explanation.

Liz jerked her eyes from the baby with a guilty start. “You…You were right when you said I couldn’t control my powers,” she said, “Whenever things get intense… I can’t harness them and… If I’m going to hide the truth from my parents, if I’m going to keep them a secret then I’m going to have to learn some control.”

She couldn’t tell him the real reason why she wanted to train. It wasn’t because she wanted to hide from her parents and it wasn’t because she was seeking greater control. Liz knew that the only way she would be strong enough to face Tess would be to let Max train her. Maria had mentioned that he’d learned how to keep Tess from walking around in his head. Liz wanted to learn as well and she was sagacious enough to realize that Max was her only option in that regard. But it had been a horrific battle with her pride in order to spring her plan into motion. Even at that precise second Liz wasn’t completely comfortable with the idea.

She still didn’t trust Max. It wasn’t just a heart matter either. Liz couldn’t be entirely certain that Max would have her back when the chips were down. If it came right down to it she couldn’t believe he’d side with her if she needed him and, doubting as she was, she couldn’t afford to make herself vulnerable to him. But then she also couldn’t afford a loss when she confronted Tess the next time because Liz fully intended for it to be the last.

So really Max was her only option. Isabel and Michael hadn’t even crossed her mind due to the undying animosity they both seemed to harbor for her. If they consented it would only be out of loyalty to Max but not without a great deal of resentment. And Liz wasn’t any more excited over the prospect of having them teach her. She didn’t need the added drama. Truthfully, Max was the only one actually capable of putting his personal differences aside to train her. Liz could, at least, believe that he would teach her to the best of his ability.

The look on his face spoke as much. Liz could see him wavering now, even as he put her through the verbal wringer. She knew with absolute certainty he would submit.

“I don’t get it,” Max muttered, his grumbled whisper abruptly slicing through Liz’s internal musings, “I told you basically the same thing three weeks ago and you told me to take a hike. Now you’re willing to admit that I was right.” He shook his head in chagrin. “You’re willing to let me train you now? What’s so different?”

“I knew you were right then,” Liz replied gruffly, “I was just too proud to admit it.”

“And all that’s changed now?”

“Look, Max!” she snapped, losing temporary control of her composure, “Are you going to help me or not? I mean…if you’re going to say ‘no’ just tell me and I won’t waste any more of your time.”

“Why should I make it easy on you?” he hissed in a whisper, “You were going to cut me out of your life and not look back, Liz.”

She didn’t waste time going through all the valid reasons she had for doing so, but instead cut straight to the heart. “You said that your offer stood no matter what,” Liz reminded him softly, “You said I could come to you if I changed my mind, Max. Was that a lie?”

His answering reply was unexpectedly cut off by a piercing cry from his son. Up until that point Zan had managed his father’s obvious agitation with only mild fussing. But as the tension with Max heightened so did Zan’s anxiety. Now he was crying full force and no amount of soothing and cooing would calm him. The baby balled his tiny hands into tight, red fists, beating his head ineffectually against his father’s shoulders as he screamed himself hoarse.

Liz watched as Max lovingly rocked his son back and forth, alternately kissing the boy’s mottled forehead and she felt severely uncomfortable. Her heart ached a little to see them together, to see with her own eyes how much Max loved him. “Maybe we should continue this some other time,” she suggested softly, backing up several steps.

“No!” Max protested sharply as she turned towards the window, “You stay. I want to finish this. Just give me a minute.”

Max quickly slipped from his bedroom with unknown intentions but he was back before Liz’s restlessness prompted her to make another break for the window. She lifted her brows in question when she noticed he was without the baby. “He’s with my mother,” he explained shortly, “She would have been in here in a few minutes anyway with him wailing like he was.” He leveled Liz with a trenchant stare. “I’m pretty sure that’s the last thing you wanted. You…you kinda seem like you don’t want anyone to know that you’re here.”

“I don’t want this to become complicated or anything,” Liz returned uneasily.

“You’re right,” Max said, sinking down onto the edge of his bed, “I did tell you my offer would stand no matter what and I meant it, Liz. I figure since I’m somewhat responsible for your current situation the least I can do is help you deal with it.”

“But that’s the thing, Max,” Liz whispered, “This isn’t about helping me. It’s about teaching me a skill. That’s all. I didn’t ask you to do this to rekindle our friendship or anything. It’s just a…just a…”

“Business arrangement?” Max finished grimly.

Liz jerked her head in a nod. “I know that seems cold and wrong to you but…I have to be honest,” she told him, “I don’t want this arrangement to get too personal.”

Max released a shuddering sigh and let his head fall forward in a dejected dip. “You’re never going to forgive me, are you?” he murmured glumly, “For sleeping with Tess?”

“Honestly? It’s not about that anymore, Max,” Liz sighed in explanation, “I’ll admit that it was at first but… Sometimes we make bad choices and we let the wrong people into our lives. Everybody’s guilty of doing that, Max…even me. But…our friendship…that was something I believed in, something I thought would last forever and you trashed it. I expected you to stick by me the same way I stuck by you and you didn’t. You completely demolished my trust and…I just don’t think we can go back.”

During her monologue Max had deliberately avoided eye contact with her but when she spoke her last words he lifted shimmering eyes to her face. It was the first time he’d ever, truly felt that it was over between them. “So I guess I know how you feel now…huh?” he reasoned unhappily, “No confusion there.”

“I’m not saying this to hurt you, Max,” Liz replied softly, “I just…can’t be you anymore. I don’t want to be with you or…or anybody.” When she saw his anguished reaction to her words Liz had to quickly avert her stare. “This thing with you teaching me…do you think you can do it…knowing how I feel?”

“You’re asking me to pretend like you’re nothing to me,” Max said thickly, “Like I’m nothing to you?”

“We are nothing, Max,” Liz uttered unhappily, “We don’t even know each other anymore.” She whisked away the lone tear that tracked down her cheek. “You said so yourself.”

Max tipped back his head in an effort to hold back the tears threatening to spill from his eyes. “So you’re saying what exactly?” he wondered hoarsely, “What are you expecting from this…this ‘arrangement’?” He choked on the last word, as if it tasted bitter in his mouth.

“Like I said before,” Liz reiterated, “I don’t want this to be anything personal…just a strictly teacher-student relationship. You teach me and I learn. That’s it.”

“No friendship. No talking. Just business,” Max surmised in anguish.

“Yes,” she answered slowly.

“And when would you want to start,” he asked.

“As soon as possible,” Liz said, “Whenever is convenient for you.”

“I have a free day on Thursdays,” Max told her, “I can work something out with my mom to keep the baby while we’re gone.” It was evident that he wasn’t keen about her terms. In fact, he was clearly devastated but he wasn’t going to question her decision either. Instead Max made a noble effort to respect her feelings. It was the least he could do after everything he’d put her through. “What time should I pick you up?”

“No,” Liz protested, “I’ll meet you here. I’ll always meet you here. That’s the deal. The last thing I need is for you to be picking me up from the Crashdown and taking the chance that someone might see us together and go to my parents.”

“So you don’t want anyone to know about this?”

“As few people as possible,” Liz said flatly, “If you can manage, I’d like this arrangement to stay just between you and me.”

Max leveled her with a hard stare. “I don’t keep secrets from Isabel and Michael,” he stated evenly.

Liz just shrugged in response. She didn’t really expect a different answer from him anyway. “Do what you feel you have to,” she said, “I guess that’s all unless… I could pay you for the lessons if you like and--,”

“Liz, please don’t,” Max interrupted, obviously insulted and hurt by her offer, “It’s fine. I’ll do this for you. I want to.”

“Okay,” Liz agreed, nodding slightly, “But I really meant what I said, Max. Nothing personal…nothing. The first time you try and bring up the past or…or our relationship I’ll walk and you’ll never talk to me again. Do you understand?”

“I understand, Liz,” he replied brusquely, his eyes stinging with renewed tears. And then, echoing the words he’d spoken to her only days earlier, he added, “I’ll do whatever you want.”

[Deejonaise]

...and things are about to get ugly. You've been forewarned. If you're expecting happiness, sunshine and light in the upcoming parts my suggestion is for you to bail now.

Chapter Twelve

“What are you doing here?” Max demanded when he pulled open the front door and found Tess standing out on his porch, “Don’t you know how to call first?” He had to check the indelibly strong impulse to slam the door in her face. She deserved nothing less after all the hell she’d raised since crashing into their lives two years earlier. But Max forced himself to be civil. The past week had already crippled him emotionally and picking a fight with Tess would only make matters worse.

Max had believed himself prepared for the deal he’d struck with Liz only ten days earlier. At the time he’d thought that being near her in any capacity was better than not being near her at all. He had convinced himself that would somehow enough and Max was more than grateful to take what he could get. But then the day had come for his first session with Liz and by the time it was over Max was seriously second-guessing his decision to go through with her terms.

Foolishly, thinking he was prepared for the cold silence, the unemotional rapport between them Max had plunged in with both feet, meeting her with the same businesslike courtesy she met him. But he had been deluding himself. From the first moment she had climbed through his bedroom window to the moment when he dropped her off only a block from the Crashdown Max had felt as if his heart were breaking apart, bit by tiny bit.

Liz had been true to her word. The entire drive out to the desert she hadn’t spoken a single sentence to him that hadn’t involved her “lessons”. When they reached the remote spot he, Michael and Isabel had designated for their practice sessions Liz had been all about business. She had asked the questions and Max was expected to provide the answers. Period. Only one time had their conversation veered into the semi-personal and Liz had been quick to end it the moment she became aware of it. Max held fast to that conversation in his mind. The fact that it had happened at all proved on some level that he and Liz weren’t over yet. Not entirely.

At the time, Max had been teaching her the intricacies of mental focus when using her powers when he had casually inquired about the nature of her abilities. It was a belated realization on his part that he was actually teaching her what to do without even being fully aware of her capabilities. Liz had appeared startled by his question, but she hadn’t brush him aside as he expected her to. Instead she actually looked relieved and somewhat grateful to finally have someone to share with.

After an extended pause, during which she looked as if she were pondering the wisdom of telling him or not, Liz said, “I suppose they’re the same as yours…just in different variations and degrees.”

“How do you know?” Max asked. He was genuinely curious, too. After all, Michael and Isabel didn’t have his same abilities.

“Well…I just experimented, you know,” she explained casually, “I tried to remember all the amazing things you did with your powers and I…mimicked you.”

“You mimicked me?” he parroted in amazement, “Does that mean you can heal, too?”

She smiled self-consciously at the question, ducking her head a little. “Not on the scale you can,” she revealed wryly, “I’m not going to be patching any bullet wounds anytime soon. But I can heal a cut or a bruise…if it’s minor enough.”

“Maybe with practice that ability will get stronger,” he enthused, just delighted by the idea that he had, in essence, passed on a part of himself to her.

Liz seemed blissfully unaware of the gleam in his eyes. “Maybe,” she considered.

“Is that all you can do?” Max wondered when she fell into a pensive silence.

“No,” she whispered, turning away from him slightly to survey the stretch of barren terrain before them, “There’s one other thing. And it doesn’t happen very often…I can never predict it but…sometimes…I can see things.”

“See things?”

“Sometimes I can touch something…anything and I’ll get a picture,” she stammered in whispered explanation, “Kinda like a flash only it’s not of something that’s already happened but something that will happen.”

Max had been practically stunned speechless with the revelation. “Wait a minute. Are you…are you telling me that you can…see into the future?” he demanded incredulously, jaw hanging wide. Liz inclined her head in a deliberate nod. “Are you sure?”

“I’m positive,” she averred gravely, “It’s not such a great gift…being able to see into people’s futures. I wish I didn’t have it at all.” She had looked so forlorn right then, so abundantly lost that Max had felt compelled to touch her. He had only wanted to comfort her, to offer her some small bit of commiseration over a plight he knew all too well but the moment his fingers glanced across her hair the spell was broken. Liz retreated back within herself and a cold and awkward silence reigned between them once more.

Liz didn’t offer Max any further opportunity for conversation following that and soon after she announced that practice was over and that she was ready to go home. He’d had little choice in the matter so Max had done the only thing he could. He had taken her home and ever since that moment he had been obsessing about it, regretting and replaying those final seconds over in his mind.

In truth, he had been doing just that when Tess made her unannounced but not completely unexpected arrival. Max had already learned from his mother that Tess had paid three other visits earlier in the week. Of course she had come under the guise of visiting the baby but his mother had said that she’d gotten the distinct impression that Tess had come specifically for Max. And he could believe it, too. Judging for the stubborn look of determination on her face right then Max could definitely believe it.

“What do you want?” he demanded rudely.

“What do you think?” she retorted crossly, hoisting upright the two shopping bags that flanked her, “I brought some things for the baby.” Max continued to glare at her, arms crossed decisively over his chest as he blocked her entrance. Tess huffed in exasperation. “Since when do I need to ask your permission to see my own son?” When Max still didn’t move Tess narrowed her eyes into dangerous blue slits. “Do you really want to get me mad about this, Max?” she queried lightly, “I know you think you can probably take me, but I guarantee you that the attempt won’t be without casualties. Now let me in.”

Bristling over the thinly veiled threat she’d made towards his family Max stepped aside with a hostile glower of loathing. “Zan’s asleep,” he announced coldly as she breezed into the foyer, “Maybe you should have tried dropping by sooner.”

“I was at the mall,” she explained, setting down the bags, “I thought he could use some new clothes.”

Max flicked a cursory glance at the shopping bags then stooped down to rifle through them. “All these clothes are too small,” he declared curtly when he straightened.

“What?” Tess barked in irritation, “Too small? They’re sized four to eight months. Zan is eight months old, isn’t he? So those clothes should fit him perfectly. There’s nothing wrong with them. You just want to pick at me, Max.”

“They are too small,” Max insisted with a superior air, “Zan is wearing nine to twelve months now. He’s grown since the last time you saw him and,” he added in growing ire, “He’s nine months old, not eight! Maybe you would know that if you were any kind of a mother!”

Tess jerked at the slur. “What the hell crawled up your ass and died?” she demanded haughtily, “You’re acting like a little bitch.”

“Get out,” Max intoned calmly and he meant the words utterly.

Tess dropped back against the wall, crossing her legs at the ankles and folding her arms across her chest much the way Max had done to her earlier. “I’m not budging from this spot until I see my son.”

“We both know you’re not here to see him, Tess,” Max ground out wrathfully, “so drop the act!”

“All right then, Max,” Tess challenged, “If you know so much then why don’t you tell me why I’m here.”

“I don’t know,” he said tautly, “But I know you’re playing games with me and I’m sick of it. I just want you out of my fucking life!”

“Oh…I know what this is all about,” Tess considered with a knowing smirk, “You’ve got yourself all in a snit because Liz Parker is back in town.” Max went immediately stiff with her seemingly casual observation. Tess scrutinized the near imperceptible change with a speculative gleam. “When exactly were you going to share that bit of information with me, Max?”

Max’s features became an inscrutable mask. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he brazened.

“Liz Parker?” Tess enunciated lightly, “I’m positive you’re already well aware of her return so don’t play dumb.”

“Liz doesn’t have anything to do with what’s going on between us,” Max evaded.

“She has everything to do with it!” Tess cried, “She always has.”

Max found it difficult not to burst out laughing at that point. “Please tell me you’re not blaming Liz for my low opinion of you?” he mocked scornfully, “I assure you, Tess, you accomplished that all on your own!”

Tess slowly straightened as the last of his words reverberated throughout the foyer, echoing harshly in her ears. “So not a single thing has changed, has it?” she concluded slowly, “You’re still as ridiculously infatuated with that girl as you’ve always been.”

“Just drop it, Tess,” Max warned, “I’m not going to discuss her with you. I’m not discussing anything with you so just leave, okay.”

“No, I’m not going to drop it,” Tess refused stubbornly, “You’ve made Liz Parker out in your mind to be this perfect, pure angel when she’s anything but! She can do no wrong while I’m this cold, unfeeling monster--,”

“You are a monster!” Max cut in harshly, “A remorseless killer and a sad excuse for a mother. There’s nothing redeeming about you, Tess.”

“You’re such a hypocrite, Max!” Tess ground out caustically, “You fault me for not being here enough with Zan but then you’re grateful when I’m not! There are reasons why I haven’t been around to visit him as often, okay! I’m trying to keep us both safe. Maybe if you asked me sometime instead of assum--,”

“I don’t care what your excuses are,” Max interrupted in brusque tones, “And I don’t want to hear them. I don’t want to hear anything you have to say. I just want you to go.” He opened up the door for emphasis, pulling it wide for her exit.

“I can’t believe how you’re acting,” she whispered in what appeared to be genuine hurt, “You’ve never been willing to give me the benefit of the doubt, Max. You’ve always wanted to think the worst of me. I never even had a chance with you.”

“What the hell did you expect?” Max retorted, “You blew into town lying from the very first. You played around with my head, manipulated Isabel and Michael, betrayed our trust again and again. God, Tess, how much were we supposed to take?”

“Liz Parker betrayed you,” she declared in a suffocated little voice, “and you forgave her. How can you be so understanding with her but not with me?”

“I told you that I’m not going to talk to you about Liz!” he growled tersely, “I don’t want to hear you mention her name ever again. You’re not fit to even speak it, much less compare yourself to her. You couldn’t be a tenth of what Liz is even if you tried.”

“And what’s that?” Tess jeered, “A whore and a liar?” Max lunged at her then as if he meant to hit her, pulling away only at the last second when Tess cowered. When he had taken some steps back to put considerable distance between them Tess slowly uncurled herself. “The truth hurts doesn’t it?” she jibed with shaky bravado, “Your precious Liz isn’t as perfect as you think she is.”

“Shut up.”

But Tess wouldn’t be silenced, not when she knew she had gotten under his skin. “You didn’t even ask me how I knew she was back in town, Max.”

“I don’t care.”

“We kind of bumped into each other,” she went on intrepidly, “She actually tried to kill me.” That last part caught Max’s attention. His liquid stare zigzagged to her face in concentrated shock. Realizing she had his attention Tess resolved within herself to keep it. “Of course, she was unsuccessful, but then I was surprised to learn she had some powers of her own.” She was met this time with only stony silence. “You weren’t going to tell me about that either, were you, Max?”

“Get to the point, Tess,” he barked impatiently.

“Anyway, I decided to take a stroll in little Miss Parker’s head and you won’t believe what I f--,”

She never finished her sentence. One moment she was standing there, smirk in place and the next Max had her pinned back against the wall with his forearm braced against her windpipe. Tess’ eyes fairly bugged out of her head as she struggled wildly for breath. Her fingers bit ineffectually into Max’s forearm in an effort to remove his iron hold.

“I swear to God that if you hurt her, if you did anything to her at all I will snap your neck right now,” Max enunciated coldly.

“I didn’t,” she gasped desperately, dragging a painful breath up to force out the words, “I swear!”

For a moment Max seriously thought about ending it right there. He would finally be free, as would his son and all his family and friends. But even as Max considered cold-blooded murder he knew what a hefty price he would pay if he gave into his baser instincts. His conscious would plague him for the rest of his life. It was no longer about skill but rather or not he truly had the heart to take another’s life, especially when that one was the mother of his child. Max knew that killing Tess in cold blood would make him no better than her.

Max leaned in against her, gradually increasing the pressure on her windpipe before abruptly releasing her. Tess crumpled to the floor in a wheezing heap, rubbing at her bruised throat. She threw back her head and glared up at Max hatefully. “I didn’t do anything to harm your precious Liz,” she spat out hoarsely, “But I did discover something you might like to know.”

“That’s doubtful,” Max returned in disinterest, “Get up and get out.”

“She’s over you, Max,” Tess replied as she struggled to her feet, “Apparently she’s not as stuck in the past as you seem to be.”

“Get out,” he ordered again, this time grasping her forcibly by the forearm and leading her towards the door. He started to shove her through it when she screamed out, “Liz is pregnant!”

Despite himself Max stopped cold, his entire body going rigid. “What did you just say?” he asked in a throbbing whisper.

Tess recomposed herself quickly, yanking her arm free of his grasp. “Liz Parker is pregnant,” she repeated coldly, “She has a boyfriend…some tall, blond good-looking preppy she met in Vermont. I saw them together in her head…the places he touched her…how much she liked it…”

“Shut up!” Max ordered fiercely. He looked for a second like he would hit her but ending up punching the wall instead. Finally, he lurched around to face her, his features twisted into an anguished grimace. “You’re lying,” he rasped out, “You’re just saying this to hurt me. Liz doesn’t have a boyfriend. There’s no one in Vermont.”

Despite his denials, however, Max was clearly devastated by the revelation. His features had lost much of their color and he looked as if he might be sick. Tess relished the change, gloated inwardly.

“Is that what she told you?” Tess wondered, “Maybe she plans to sleep with you and pass the baby off as yours then. Who knows?” She leveled Max with fathomless blue eyes. “But I suppose this does mean one thing,” she said as she slipped through the door, “I’m not the only despicable woman in your life after all.”

[Deejonaise]

Chapter Thirteen

Isabel Evans was very busily scrubbing dried bird feces off Alex’s gravestone. Dressed in an old pair of jeans, a faded sweatshirt, and a bright red kerchief Isabel looked nothing like the Ice Princess Liz had grown accustomed to. Never in a million years would Liz have ever dreamed of such a sight. She stopped short of Alex’s plot, flowers in hand, watching and listening as Isabel diligently cleaned away the dust and debris from Alex’s headstone as she carried on tender, one-sided conversation with him.

“…she’s been back for over a month now,” Isabel was saying as she tossed her sponge back into the bucket of dirty water, “And every time I see her I can feel myself getting angry all over again. But I don’t know,” she went on pensively, “if I’m angry because of what she did or if I’m just angry because she reminds me of all my mistakes with you and of all the ways I’ve failed you.”

Liz sucked in a silent gasp at the confession. That moment served to be one of supreme clarity for her. Here she had believed that she and Isabel were on completely different plains of existence. Yet in reality they both were drowning in the same pain. Isabel understood Liz’s daily agony and she didn’t even realize it. She was asking herself all the same questions that tortured Liz. She wanted to weep with relief over it. For the first time since she’d come back to Roswell Liz didn’t feel alone. She didn’t feel so lost.

Tears stung the back of her eyes as she watched Isabel gingerly trace the grooved letters of Alex’s name with the tip of her finger. “I wish you were here,” she told Alex’s headstone, “I wish I could say to you all the things I didn’t when you were alive. I’m sorry, Alex. I’m sorry I couldn’t be all the things that you needed me to be.”

Liz echoed those same words in her heart and, suddenly, she didn’t want to fight anymore. Not with Isabel, not with any of them. All she wanted was to have her friend back, to see his toothy smile and sparkling blue eyes once more. She wanted to be Liz Parker again, that happy girl whose career goal had been to be a molecular biologist and whose secret crush had been a very shy Max Evans. Liz lamented the loss of that time. She wondered where it had gone and whether it would ever be found again. In her sorrow, her gigantic need to make things right again Liz found herself reaching out to the one person she seemed to have an immediate connection with: Isabel.

“You know, I find myself making that same apology a lot lately,” Liz whispered hoarsely as she stepped forward to announce her presence, “I don’t guess I was everything Alex needed me to be either.” Isabel swiveled around guiltily at Liz’s approach, her expression caught between chagrin, anger, and sorrow. She didn’t appear anymore glad to see Liz than she had in prior days, but there was a marked lessening of hostility in her demeanor.

“I wasn’t expecting to see you here today,” Liz said when Isabel didn’t speak. She held out the bouquet of assorted flowers in her hand. “I brought him flowers.”

Isabel wordlessly took hold of the flowers and carefully laid them atop Alex’s cemetery plot. “I think he would like them,” she whispered more to herself than to Liz, “They’re really pretty.” She stared down at the colorful bouquet for a second longer before cutting shimmering brown eyes back to Liz’s face. “I come here every week,” she volunteered tonelessly, “I used to come every day but it worried my parents so much they thought I needed a shrink so I cut back to just once a week.”

“I didn’t know that,” Liz replied, thrown off balance by the admission.

“They don’t care for his plot very well here,” Isabel sniffed disdainfully, “One time I even found weeds growing at the base of his headstone. Weeds and even a bit of moss. I figured if I wanted his plot to be kept up correctly I’d have to take care of matters myself.”

“Yeah well…I never thought I’d see the day when Isabel Evans would be cleaning up bird doo,” Liz commented wryly.

Isabel emitted a self-deprecating laugh. “I do what I have to.” The two girls regarded one another for a tense moment, as if trying to figure out each other’s moments. Liz was the first to break the powerful stare.

“I…I haven’t been here since the funeral,” she whispered inanely.

“I know.” There was only mild rebuke in her tone but Liz still felt as if she’d received a tongue-lashing.

She tugged her jacket more securely around her as much from the sudden fierce wind as from Isabel’s icy stare. “Isabel, I…I heard what you were saying just a moment ago,” she stammered when Isabel turned back towards Alex’s gravestone, “Did you mean it?”

“What part exactly?” Isabel inquired stonily.

“You…you said you didn’t know how much of your anger had to do with me and what part you were projecting,” Liz said gently. And then on the spur she dropped down to her knees beside Isabel and lowered her words to an almost pleading tone. “Isabel, don’t let it be like this between us,” she implored, “We’re both grieving for Alex. There’s no good reason for us to be enemies and… I don’t want that.”

“I can’t just pretend that I’m okay with what you did, Liz,” Isabel replied tautly, “I expected more from you because we were friends.”

“I did what I thought I had to,” Liz said softly, “You have to believe that.”

Isabel fingered the edge of her bucket, picking at the serrated rim. “I don’t know what to believe anymore, Liz,” she replied grimly, “You’ve twisted that all around. Is Tess our enemy or our ally? Was Future Max telling you the truth or was he misinformed somehow? We don’t know the answers to any of it. We’re just groping around blind and I keep thinking that…if only you’d come to us earlier…if only…” She scrubbed at her wet cheeks almost proudly, disdaining her own tears. Unconsciously, her eyes drifted to Alex’s headstone. “Maybe things would be different.”

“Don’t you think I’ve considered that same thing a hundred times myself,” Liz croaked tearfully, “It’s a hard thing to carry your best friend’s death on your shoulders. Why do you think I ran from here?”

“Because Max got Tess pregnant,” Isabel answered candidly. And then she lurched around to face Liz, her expression hardening even more. “That’s another thing, Liz. Max’s little indiscretion with Satan’s spawn rocked us all, not just you. But we dealt with the fallout while you ran.”

“He broke my heart, Isabel,” she whispered gruffly, as if that were answer enough.

For Isabel it wasn’t. “He broke mine, too,” she countered, “But I stayed, Liz.” Quickly coming to the realization that she and Liz were doing nothing more than talking themselves in circles Isabel pushed to her feet. “We’re not going to agree on this,” she declared evenly, “But you were right about one thing. We are both grieving for Alex and this is not the place to have this conversation.” She bent to retrieve her bucket and caddy of cleaning paraphernalia.

“Can we talk some other time then?” Liz asked desperately when she started to turn away, “Will you give me a chance to explain?”

Isabel threw Liz a sorrowful glance over her shoulder. “I don’t know that there’s anything else to say, Liz,” she replied, “But I suppose I do owe you an apology for what I said when you first got back into town. I’m still dealing with some major issues over how I treated Alex and…it’s possible that I projected some of that onto you. But as for the rest of it… Max isn’t the only one guilty of betrayal and disloyalty, Liz. You did your share, too.”

Liz watched her walk away, feeling more devastated now than she had before arriving. She couldn’t seem to make any of it better. No matter how hard she fought to remain cool and mature everything kept getting shot to hell. Liz curled herself in a tight ball, casting a desperate glance towards Alex’s headstone as if she expected him to materialize in the next few seconds. “Alex. Alex,” she moaned fitfully, “What can I do? I don’t know what to do anymore!”

She had hoped that in making a connection with Isabel she could somehow banish the severed feeling that had taken root inside her heart. But Isabel had been just as adept at pushing her away as she had been at pushing Max. And that was yet another aspect of her life that was tearing her apart. Liz was torn, suspended between the yearning desire to be with Max and the innate fear she harbored of trusting him. Whenever she believed herself brave enough to reach out to him Liz would remember how thoroughly he’d abandoned her after Alex’s death and would consequently pull away again. And still the longing for him didn’t go away, didn’t decrease no matter how she willed it.

That longing had grown to impossibly epic proportions since she’d begun her training sessions with him. In so many ways he reminded her of the old Max, reminded her of the times when she was the very center of his world and the change in him sent her off balance.

Though no significant conversation had passed between them Liz could still sense something very significant changing between them or, more appropriately, she could sense a significant change in her feelings towards him. She had met him the past two Thursdays, one of those days being the day before his nineteenth birthday and yet he had respected her wishes to keep things impersonal by not mentioning a single word about it.

The entire time Liz had been acutely aware of his impending birthday just as she was sure that Max was equally aware of her awareness, but they had not spoken on it. Instead they had trained diligently and in near silence and afterwards Max had taken her home. He had never once pushed her for what she was unwilling to give.

Everything was progressing just as she’d directed and yet Liz still felt as empty as before. Daily she could feel herself growing stronger, more confident in her powers but the progress didn’t fill her with any real satisfaction. The closer she came to her goal of facing Tess again the more Liz found herself wondering if it was at all worth it. Would killing Tess really bring her any peace of mind? Would it bring any clarity to her muddled existence? The prospect was doubtful and one thing Liz knew for a certainty: killing Tess would never bring Alex back.

She reached out to touch the cold stone of his grave much the way she had spied Isabel do earlier. “I wish I could make this all better, Alex,” she whispered mournfully, “Is any of this really helping? Have I made things worse or better?” She leaned her forehead down against the cold stone. “God, I can’t tell anymore,” she muttered. But she was definitely leaning towards the latter. If anything she felt more lost and confused than ever before.

Her doctor’s appointment only a week earlier hadn’t helped matters much either. Liz had heard her baby’s heartbeat for the first time and in that second her approaching motherhood had become frighteningly real. There was a baby growing inside her, a sweet, innocent little person who needed her more than anything in the world. Someone who was depending on her for protection and love and here she had been compromising her baby’s very existence by playing the dangerous game she was.

Before lying on that hospital table Liz hadn’t considered much what it would mean to be a mother or even if she really wanted to be one. However, after hearing the swift whoosh of her child’s heartbeat, Liz knew. She wanted her baby. Really she’d had her first inkling after seeing Max with his son. When she witnessed with her own eyes the subtle changes that child had brought about in Max, Liz couldn’t help but yearn for some of that same clarity for herself. Could she start over as a mother? Could her life really make sense again and could the key to it all really be the little life growing inside her?

Liz slipped her fingers into her jacket and splayed them over the slight swell of her abdomen. “I’m not alone, am I, Alex?” she whispered to her fallen friend, “I have this baby. I can give her what she needs. I can protect her.” Like I couldn’t protect you, Liz added in her mind. That was the part that Liz couldn’t forgive herself for.

Tess never should have been allowed to come so close within their inner circle. Liz had known from the start that she wasn’t to be trusted. She had even warned Max against doing so repeatedly. Even after Future Max’s incredible visit Liz had continued to harbor her doubts but she had ignored her instincts and misgivings, shoving them down deep in order to carry out Future Max’s request of her. And look what had happed as a result. The mess was so big and the chasm so wide Liz was beginning to wonder if it all was beyond fixing.

“Liz?” Liz swung around at the sound of her name, flinching in surprise when she found Max standing there. He looked rumpled and tired and…hopeless. Watching him approach, Liz’s brow knit in a frown of confusion as she tried to puzzle out why he had come after her in the first place. He read the question in her eyes even with the distance between them. “Isabel said I could find you out here.” She huffed out a breath as he continued to stare her down with his inscrutable green-gold gaze. “We need to talk.”

“We don’t have a session today, Max,” Liz said neutrally as she rose to her feet, “So what are you doing out here?”

“There’s something I need to talk to you about,” he said again, his words clipped and precise. Though he hardly raised his voice above a whisper there was no mistaking the riotous fire in his eyes as he regarded her. His look made Liz extremely nervous and she quickly jumped on the defensive.

“Max, you should remember our deal--,” she began in a shaky whisper.

“To hell with our deal!” Max snapped, causing Liz to flinch in reaction to his harshness, “Why didn’t you say anything to me about confronting Tess?” Liz jerked with the accusation, rather resembling a rabbit caught in a snare. Her eyes darted nervously over his shoulder as if she were searching for a means of escape and finding none. Max closed in on her.

“I’ve known for some time now,” he went on in a deliberate whisper, “A little over a week actually. I had to hear about it from Tess, of all people. But I’ve been waiting all this time for you to tell me. I just couldn’t believe…after all that Future Max crap…that you’d pull this again.”

Liz bristled under his accusing tone. “Well to be perfectly honest, Max, it wasn’t any of your--,”

“If you say it wasn’t my business, so help me…,” Max cut in warningly. He closed his eyes for a few moments to collect himself, clenching and unclenching his hands at his sides. “I didn’t walk out all this way to play games with you, Liz, so be straight with me.”

“Max, this is Alex’s grave,” Liz uttered in a tremulous whisper, “This isn’t the place to do this.”

“It’s the perfect place,” Max protested stiffly, “After all, we’re the reason Alex’s blood was spilled in the first place. Our great love,” he snorted caustically, “So damned strong it destroyed the world, right, Liz? We’re the reason this entire mess went down so tell me what the hell is going on!”

“You’re upset,” Liz deduced shakily, “I can’t talk to you when you’re this way.”

“I’m furious,” Max ground out, “And you damned well will talk to me! You’ve been lying to me for weeks.”

“I didn’t have any obligation to tell you what happened between me and Tess, okay,” she argued faintly, “We’ve already been through this, Max. I don’t owe you anything.”

“You have the nerve to stand there and talk to me about obligation?” he snarled fiercely, “God, Liz! You wouldn’t even be talking right now if it weren’t for me! You stand there; taking the high and mighty road when in reality you’re no better than I am. You’ve made the same exact mistakes!”

“That’s it,” Liz announced sharply, “Our deal is done. It’s over.”

“Oh, I don’t think so,” Max hissed, grasping hold of her forearm when she would have flounced around him, “You’re not going to dismiss me so easily, Liz. Not this time.”

“What is wrong with you?” Liz demanded haughtily, disengaging her arm from his hold. But honestly she already knew exactly what wrong and she was shuddering inside. “What did Tess tell you, Max?”

“That you’re pregnant,” he spat without preamble. The only reason Liz didn’t stagger with the revelation was because she had been expecting it. “Is it true, Liz? Are you?”

The sick dread darkening his gaze was too much. He wanted her to deny it. She could feel the silent pleading rolling off him in thick waves and Liz was almost tempted to lie to him. She could actually feel herself falling from that impossibly high pedestal he’d placed her on.

Liz tripped back several steps, unconsciously treading the flowers she’d brought for Alex beneath her heel. “You’ve obviously made up your mind about it,” she whispered hoarsely, “So why are you asking me?”

“I want to hear you say it,” Max uttered caustically, “I want to hear you say the words.”

“I’m pregnant,” Liz threw back angrily, tearfully, “I’m pregnant! There! Are you happy? Now I’m no better than you are, right?”

“That’s right,” Max ground out in agreement, “You’re no better. You’re just as culpable in the demise of our relationship as I am but you know what the difference is between us, Liz? At least I’m brave enough to admit my mistakes and own up to them. You…you’re nothing but a coward and a sanctimonious one at that.”

Liz sucked in a painful breath, swallowing hard against the lump of tears in her throat. She wouldn’t let herself cry for him. She had already sacrificed her pride for him one too many times when he’d been undeserving. She would never do so again. “Are you finished,” she asked evenly when he had finished his rant.

“No,” he said softly, “I have just one more thing to say to you. You were right when you said we were strangers to each other. I don’t know you anymore, Liz, and you know something else?” he added, raking her with a disgusted glance, “I don’t want to.”

When she turned her back to him and sank onto her haunches before Alex’s headstone Liz told herself it was because what he’d said had left no impression on her whatsoever, but the reality was far less indifferent. She simply couldn’t bear to watch him walk away.

[Deejonaise]

Chapter Fourteen

“How long are you planning to vegetate on my couch?” Michael demanded when he stepped through the door to find Max sprawled across his sofa for the seventh day in a row. The coffee table, never an immaculate surface to start with, was littered with empty soda cans and a half eaten bag of popcorn. Michael wasn’t so much bothered by the mess as he was by the uncharacteristic sloppiness of Max’s behavior and he said so. Max responded to Michael’s careful comment with a low committal grunt, never even flicking his eyes in Michael’s direction as he clicked disinterestedly through television channels.

Michael swallowed back a groan of long-suffering. “I’m beginning to worry about you,” he uttered in mild disgust, lifting a booted foot to shove Max’s legs from the coffee tabletop, “Don’t you have a life, Maxwell?”

“Apparently not or I wouldn’t be here, would I?” came Max’s acerbic reply, which was quickly followed by Maria’s sardonic rejoinder. “I’m absolutely positive you have other hangouts, Max,” she chimed as she sailed in behind Michael, “Why not try frequenting them for a change?”

“A pleasure to see you, too, Maria,” Max greeted dryly, lifting the remote in a mocking salute.

“If you’re going to be here as often as you are you may as well do some of the housework,” she returned tartly, tossing a bottle of dishwashing liquid at him.

Max deftly caught the bottle and deposited it onto the coffee table. “And on that note,” he said, shoving to his feet, “I will take my son and be on my way.”

Maria’s frosty manner thawed immediately with the mention of Zan. Max had been on his feet a mere two seconds before Maria shoved him back down into the sofa cushions. “The baby’s here with you,” she squealed, unable to mask her giddy joy over the prospect, “Why didn’t you say so?”

“Yeah,” Max answered, “I put him down for a nap in Michael’s room and--. Maria, wait! Don’t go in there. I don’t want you…to…wake…him…up…” He trailed off into silence, realizing his warning was futile since Maria had already disappeared into the back bedroom to coo and simper all over his son. Max leaned his head back against the edge of the couch and puffed out a sigh of annoyance. “Why do I even bother?”

“She loves that kid, Maxwell,” Michael commented when she was gone. Max muttered something along the lines of, “Yeah…she loves my kid but can’t stand me,” but Michael didn’t hear him because he had his head buried in the refrigerator. When he emerged a few seconds later it was with a carton of juice, which he took a long, thirsty draught from before finishing up his statement. “You knew how Maria felt about Zan before you brought him over so just deal with it.”

“How was I supposed to know you’d be bringing Maria home with you?” Max wondered crossly, “Don’t you see enough of her already at work?”

“It’s called having a personal life, my friend,” Michael replied cheekily as he flopped down on the sofa beside Max. “You might want to try it.”

Again Max grunted in response. “Highly overrated, I assure you.”

Michael watched his friend click dully through the channels for a few seconds more before he opened with a hesitant, “So…? You hiding out here again tonight or what?”

Max palmed his forehead wearily in response. “I’m not hiding out, Michael,” he denied weakly, “I’m just taking some much needed time to think. Is that too much to ask?”

“You can’t do that at home?” Michael considered.

“You kicking me out?” Max countered with a sour lift of his brows, “Do you and Maria have a little alone time planned or something?”

Michael laughed off the question though it wasn’t so far from the truth. “I just wanna know that you’re okay, man.”

“I’m okay,” Max told him, but with very little conviction.

“Ahh…I’m afraid I don’t believe you, Maxwell,” Michael returned flatly, “I think this thing with Liz is still wigging you out.”

Max scrunched his face into an offended grimace. “I could care less,” he denied fiercely, “What Liz does is her own business. It doesn’t concern me anymore.”

“Can I quote you on that?” Maria asked, startling both boys when she reemerged cradling a freshly awakened Zan.

Max groaned inwardly. He should have known that his attempt at bravado would come back to bite him in the ass and immediately at that. But then what else could he do but outwardly shrug off the tremendous pain that was breaking him apart inside? He felt like a fist-sized hole had been punched in his chest. Most confusing, he didn’t know what bothered him more: the knowledge that Liz had gone to bed with someone else or the fact that she didn’t want to be his friend anymore. Though the former knowledge was more than enough to twist his stomach, it was the latter that was keeping him awake at night.

Ultimately, he was mad at her because she continued to be mad at him. That was the problem in a nutshell. Max wanted her to trust him again, to forgive him for where he had failed her, but she wouldn’t. And Liz’s unwillingness irked him beyond measure because she hadn’t exactly been the most tremendous friend to him either but he was willing to overlook her mistakes for the good of starting over. So why couldn’t she look past his? Couldn’t she see how remorseful he was? Couldn’t she see how he had changed? Was she trying to punish him? He could almost believe she was in light of the cold, detached way she treated him. She acted as if she wasn’t even concerned with rekindling their friendship at all and that bugged him.

He looked over at Maria now, his expression hardening into an unreadable mask. “Michael, I think I’m gonna bail,” he said, slowly rising to his feet, “Do you mind keeping--,”

“Not a problem,” Michael replied before Max could finish, “You know how we love having him here.”

“Yeah…that’s what you do, right, Max?” Maria jeered at his back as he scooped up his jacket to leave, “When things get too intense you always head for the hills, don’t you?”

“No,” Max contradicted ironically, “That would be Liz’s area of expertise.”

“You were the one who ran when she needed you most, Max!” she cried irately, “Because you were too much of a coward to face the possibility that what Liz had said after Alex died was true!”

“Maria, knock it off,” Michael warned, but his intervention was too late. Max and Maria were already circling each other like wary combatants.

“You couldn’t stand the thought that Liz might actually be right about Alex’s death being alien-related,” Maria went on succinctly, “And then you bailed on her because you couldn’t stand the truth!”

“You think you’ve got it all figured out, huh?” Max muttered angrily.

“Tell me if I’m wrong,” Maria challenged.

“Okay,” Max agreed loudly, all his contained emotion finally spilling over, “Do you want to know what I couldn’t stand, Maria? I couldn’t stand Liz’s hot and cold routine! She sleeps with Kyle but she wants to be friends again! She goes to prom with me but then tells me there’s no chance for us! She says she wants to be friends no matter what but then accuses me of killing Alex! She pushes me towards my destiny but then she’s devastated when I follow it! She had me all over the emotional map. How the hell was I supposed to react…with the happy dance? I didn’t know whether I was coming or going most days.” By the time Max finished his tirade Zan was crying hysterically and Maria looked ready to attack.

“You see what you did,” Michael admonished, jumping to his feet to ease a crying Zan from Maria’s arms, “I’m taking him in the back. You two air this out or whatever the hell you need to do…just fix it! I’m sick of living with the friggin tension.”

When Michael had gone Max was left wearily massaging his temples while Maria glared murder at him. “This isn’t getting us anywhere, Maria,” he sighed jaggedly, “I’m just gonna go, okay.”

“Liz needs a friend, Max,” Maria called to his back as he started to reach for the doorknob. Just as she hoped he stopped in his tracks but he didn’t turn back to face her. “I know I’ve been giving you a hard time but… I don’t want to see you and Liz apart forever. You both have way too much history between you to let it go like this.”

Max swiveled back around to face her, leaning against the doorjamb. “Tell that to Liz,” he mumbled tiredly, “She doesn’t want anything to do with me.”

“To hear her tell it that’s actually the other way around, Max.”

“Maria, she lied to me…again.”

“Did it ever enter your arrogant brain that she didn’t owe you the truth in the first place?” Maria considered in annoyance.

“Everyone is entitled to the truth, Maria,” Max protested, “Everyone. I didn’t expect her to make any explanations, but she could have been honest with me. When she found out Tess was pregnant it was because I told her and no one else. But I had to hear about her and this…this preppy guy from Tess of all people. Do you have any idea how that made me feel…that I would have to find out about this guy secondhand after everything Liz and I have been through together?”

“Liz told you about David?” Maria bleated dubiously.

Max flinched at the mention of him. “So his name’s David, huh?” he parroted cynically, “No, Liz didn’t say a word to me about David. What I know about him at all I learned from Tess.”

“Yeah, well you can’t put any stock in anything that witch has to stay,” Maria returned dryly, “I’m sure she made it out into a lot more than it actually was.”

“So he and Liz didn’t sleep together,” Max reasoned sarcastically, “She’s not pregnant with his baby?”

“God, you’re really hung up on the sex, aren’t you, Max?” He didn’t respond to her jibe but the look on his face was more than answer enough. Maria whooped a scornful laugh, clapping both hands over her mouth. “Oh my God, that’s it!” she gasped, “You’re mad because you weren’t the first…because Liz didn’t wait for you! I can’t believe it. You hypocritical bastard!”

“Why does that make me a hypocrite?” he demanded, “Because I wanted to share her first time with her? Because I loved her? I know I made a mistake with Tess. Does that mean I have to pay for it for the rest of my life?”

“You reap what you sow, Max,” Maria returned glibly, “And did it ever cross your mind that maybe Liz wanted that same privilege of sharing your first time? But you gave that honor to Tess Harding. So what was Liz just supposed to do? Enter a nunnery while you sowed your wild oats all over town?”

“Maria, you know it wasn’t even like that for me,” Max groaned hoarsely, “I haven’t had anything to do with Tess or…or anyone for months! You know I’ve learned from my mistakes so why can’t Liz?”

Maria flinched inwardly at his agonized expression and consequently gentled her tone, “Max, I know you’re really hurt by this whole thing--,”

“I’m more hurt because she refuses to let me in,” he whispered, “I just want her to forgive me, Maria. Why can’t she forgive me?” His heartsick musings were abruptly cut short when a sharp knock sounded on the door behind him. Max jumped away; dancing across the room as he made a quick effort to pull himself together while Maria answered the door.

The moment Maria swung open the door Liz fell on her unexpectedly with a tearful hug. “I know this is supposed to be your night with Michael,” she sobbed brokenly, “But can I please hang out with you guys? I can’t be alone tonight.” Sniffling, Liz lifted her head to wipe away the tears tracking her face and caught sight of Max standing just beyond Maria’s shoulder. She backed up a step or two from her friend. “What is he doing here?” she demanded hoarsely.

“I was just leaving actually,” Max interjected laconically as he shrugged into his jacket.

But Liz ignored him in favor of stabbing Maria with an accusing stare. “I thought you said it would be just you and Michael tonight.”

Michael chose that second, of all moments, to emerge from the bedroom, announcing with a relieved sigh, “I finally got him down again. He should sleep through to supper if you and Maria can keep it down an octave.” He came to a gradual halt when he processed the ranging expressions of tension, anger and disgust on his houseguests. “Maybe I just should have stayed with the baby,” he mumbled under his breath.

“That’s okay, Michael,” Liz declared coldly, “I’m leaving. I wouldn’t want to break up the little party you guys have got going on.”

“Liz, wait!” Maria cried, catching hold of her arm so that she couldn’t leave, “It’s not what you’re thinking. Don’t leave like this.”

“Well, I’m sick of this crap,” Michael interrupted, rolling his eyes in exhausted exasperation, “Liz, every time you and Max have some sort of falling out Maria and I get put in the middle and I’m tired of it. You guys are on the outs…fine. That’s your business. We can’t tell you how to live. But I’ll be damned if we’re forced into taking sides, okay, because you guys made this mess on your own.”

Both Max and Liz were visibly taken aback by Michael’s irritated, impromptu speech. And, though Maria appeared embarrassed by his outburst, she didn’t try to cover it over. Liz scrutinized Maria in wary surprise. “Is that how you feel?” she wondered shakily, “Like I put you in the middle?”

“Liz, you’re the best friend I’ve got,” Maria began gently, “But I hate being caught between the two of you when you fight. I mean…Max is my friend, too.”

“So you’re taking his side,” Liz surmised in quiet hurt.

“Chica, I’m always on your side,” Maria told her fervently, “I just don’t happen to feel the same way about Max that you do.”

“I guess not everyone thinks I’m evil incarnate, Liz,” Max mumbled sarcastically, causing Michael to cough “bad move” under his breath with the comment.

“Shut up, Max!” both Liz and Maria ordered him simultaneously. Michael promptly shot him an “I told you so” look.

“Okay…yeah well…um…I’m just gonna leave now,” Max announced, starting towards the door, “Michael, I’ll be back to pick up Zan around six…maybe you’ll be done entertaining by then.” He brushed past Liz without a second glance and stalked out the apartment; completely unaware of the havoc he played on Liz as he did.

The apartment was left jarringly silent in his wake but Liz’s speechlessness was due to more than just Max’s abrupt and rude departure. As he’d gone past her she’d gotten a flash, so stark and brutal that she’d felt dizzy with it. Suddenly, Liz was in a different place entirely, surrounded by rock and dust and at her feet was Max, lying prostrate on the ground. He laid there, a thin trail of blood trickling from his nose and Tess Harding leaning over him, gloating with her hateful smile. In the flash, Liz stooped down to touch him but the second Liz tried to grasp hold of the vision it eluded her, dissipated like the dawn’s fog and left her weak and trembled.

Liz collapsed back against the wall, stunned and breathing harsh. Maria flanked her side in seconds, skating her fingers over Liz’s perspiring brow. “Liz! Liz, what’s wrong?” she cried, “What happened?”

“Oh my God, Maria! I saw Max!” Liz gasped out. She stared up at Maria with vacant eyes. “I saw him dead.”

[Deejonaise]

Chapter Fifteen

“How do you even know that what you saw was real?” Maria queried later that evening when she, Kyle and Liz were crowded into a Crashdown booth. “Maybe it was just your subconscious, you know? You were pretty mad at him. I saw the look on your face, Liz. Max was definitely not your favorite person right then.”

“What are you saying, Maria? That I saw Max dead in a flash because subconsciously I wanted to off him?” Liz considered with a disbelieving grimace. She shuddered at the sanguinary suggestion. “That’s beyond convoluted, Maria, even for you.”

“But it still brings us back to her original question,” Kyle interjected reasonably, “How do you know that what you saw was real?”

“It’s real,” Liz whispered grimly, “I don’t want it to be but…it’s definitely real.”

She had been chilled from within ever since, frightened and indecisive about what she should do next. Really Liz wanted it to be a hallucination, some sadistic fantasy she’d conjured in her fury but she knew better. The last time she had ignored such a vision someone had died. This time Liz couldn’t afford to talk herself into a safe, happy place. This time she couldn’t afford to do nothing.

But then she didn’t think she could go to Max with this new information either. Even if he was inclined to believe her, which was highly doubtful considering the present circumstances between them, Liz didn’t think he’d listen long enough to hear her warning. Max was, according to Maria, angry, frustrated and confused and, unfortunately, not open to reason at the moment. Considering the volatile atmosphere Liz didn’t think that now was the best time to warn Max that his ex-lover was going to murder him. Yet, Liz wasn’t sure if she could afford to wait either.

“So do you think it’s going to happen soon?” Maria asked softly, breaking into Liz’s thoughts, “I mean…could it happen tonight?”

Liz thought about that frightful possibility for a moment. “I…I don’t think so,” she said finally with some degree of conviction. She unconsciously began rearranging the small packets of sweetener in the sugar caddy as she went on. “The last time I had one of these…these visions…what I saw didn’t happen for almost two months. That’s why I was so quick to dismiss it.”

Kyle leaned in close, shivering a little with her dire tone. “What did you see, Liz?”

“It was a classmate of mine,” she revealed in a staccato sigh, “I saw her on her bike and…and then she was hit by a car.” Both Kyle and Maria exchanged mournful looks but said nothing, waiting patiently for Liz to continue. “Anyway,” Liz plugged on, “nothing happened for the longest time and since I only had the flash once I didn’t think what I saw could possibly be true. But then one day she didn’t come to school and our teacher told us that…that she’d been killed by a drunk driver on her way home.”

“Oh God, Liz,” Maria mewled sympathetically, “You know that wasn’t your fault, babe.”

“I knew it could happen and I did nothing,” Liz whispered thickly, “So doesn’t that make it my fault?”

“You’re not God, Liz,” Kyle soothed in gentle tones, “It isn’t your job to save the world…though at times you might think it is.”

Liz nibbled pensively on her lower lip. “So what do I do…about Max?” she wondered painfully, “I don’t want him to be hurt.”

“Then Kyle and I will go to him,” Maria suggested, “We’ll explain what you saw and leave the rest to Max.”

“Don’t you think he should hear it from me?” Liz asked, “I mean…he’ll probably think you’re ambushing him. I should be the one to go.”

“It’s not necessary,” Maria answered, “All you would succeed in doing is jumping right back into the alien abyss with both feet and you’ve sacrificed too much to be free of it.”

“Maria’s right,” Kyle chimed in, “You’ve got yourself to think about, Liz, and your baby. Max is a big boy…he can take care of himself.”

“No,” Liz objected frenetically, “Don’t you see? He’s vulnerable to her, even more so because of Zan. Max doesn’t know how to protect himself when it comes to Tess.”

“But it’s not your job to do it for him,” Kyle said, “Let Evans be a man for once.”

Liz opened her mouth to argue further but she never made it that far. The bells above the entrance door chimed merrily and her breath escaped her chest in a slow, painful wheeze when saw who walked through them. “Oh my God,” she groaned in miserable underbreath.

“What?” Maria asked, swiveling around in the booth to glance at whatever had Liz’s rapt attention. And then she smiled, a goofy, half-mast grin. “Holy mama.” At her soft exclamation Kyle stretched a glance over the top of the booth and then promptly resumed his seat. He was not impressed, unlike Maria who continued to stare on in unabashed admiration.

He walked toward them with the self-assurance and lean physique of Michelangelo's David and the look of him as well. Tall, blond, lean…the All-American preppy boy type they didn’t usually see around places like Roswell, New Mexico. Maria was just gearing up to wonder exactly what had brought him to their little UFO town when she realized he was headed straight for their booth. Her mouth fell open and grew progressively wider as the young man made his way over to her whey faced best friend. Maria deliberately swiveled back around in her seat.

“You forgot I was coming, didn’t you?” the stranger asked with an impish grin.

Liz shook her head in denial but she looked plainly flustered, her cheeks tinted with bright crimson. “Um…no…I didn’t forget…I just…” And finally she gave up when he actually began snickering at her efforts. “I forgot,” she confessed meekly, “God, I forgot. I am so sorry. Are you mad at me?”

“I suppose I can forgive you,” he decided, dropping down into the empty space next to her, “This time.” He leaned over and brushed her lips in a fleeting kiss of hello. “Hey, you…long time no see.”

“Uh, Liz?” That’s when Liz realized that both Maria and Kyle were staring at her in slack jawed confusion. “Aren’t you going to introduce us to your friend?” Maria demanded.

Still, reeling a bit, Liz made a halting attempt. “Maria…Kyle, this is David McKee,” she established belatedly, “David, these are my friends. Maria DeLuca and Kyle Valenti.”

“Nice to meet you,” David said cordially, reaching over the table to shake their respective hands, “Liz told me a little about the both of you when she was in Vermont.”

“Really?” Kyle wondered in surprise, “Because she told us next to nothing about you.” His snarky remark earned him a sharp elbow to the ribs, courtesy of Maria DeLuca. Kyle stifled his answering grunt.

“So you’re Liz’s…” Maria trailed off in her expansive declaration, unsure of what title to give him.

“…Fuck buddy?” Kyle finished, obviously not plagued with the same problem. His comment left Liz and David sputtering and Maria executing another well-placed blow to his side. Kyle shot her a glare. “That’s starting to hurt,” he hissed.

“Stop being rude then,” Maria scolded behind a saccharine smile.

“So how did you know where to find me?” Liz asked David in an attempt to regain control of a seemingly uncontrollable situation.

David shrugged. “I had your address from the P.I. I hired to trace you,” he replied casually, “I asked around town and that was that. Apparently, everyone knows where the Crashdown Café is.”

“You hired a private investigator to find Liz,” Kyle queried with an incredulous grimace, “What the hell for?”

“Well she had disappeared on me quite unexpectedly,” David replied, his enigmatic eyes trained solely on Liz’s face, “And I was anxious to find her again.”

Liz blushed under his scrutiny and ducked her head. “You should have called me to let me know you’d arrived,” she told him, “I could have met you at the airport or something.”

“I did call,” David told her, “But you were out. So I decided to rent a car and come find you instead.” He tipped up her chin so that they were eye to eye. “And it worked out perfectly.”

“Kyle, maybe we should get going,” Maria suggested, breaking the intimate moment, “We…uh…have someplace else to be, remember?”

“Wait, Maria!” Liz cried out desperately as they slid from the booth, “Let me walk you to your car, okay.” She turned back to her visitor with a chagrined smile. “David, can you give me just one minute?”

“Take your time,” he said.

They had taken barely four steps away from the table when Kyle had excused himself to wait in the parking lot for Maria and Liz rounded on her, bursting out frantically, “You can’t leave me alone with him!”

“God, Liz! You never said he was so hot! Oh my God! Oh my God! When he came over to the table I thought I was going to die!”

Liz gripped hold of Maria’s shoulders, giving her a sharp shake. “Maria, focus!” she ordered briskly, “Listen to me. You can not leave me alone with him. I have no clue what to say to him. I can’t do this.”

“Oh man,” Maria breathed, her brow creasing in surprise, “You’re actually being serious. God, Liz, you’re shaking.” She stared down in amazement at the palsied trembling of her friend’s hands. “Why does the idea of his being here freak you out so much?” she asked Liz, “I thought you said what you had was just a fling.”

“I also said I liked him,” Liz reminded her in a hiss, “And I have to introduce him to my parents… Maria, I can’t do this alone!”

“Liz,” Maria began calmly, “Don’t take this the wrong way but… I wasn’t there when you made the kid with him and I can’t be here now. You have to do this one on your own babe.” She framed Liz’s face in her hands and leaned forward to deposit a sound kiss on her forehead. “You’ll be fine,” she said, “Call me and let me know how it went.”

“And you’ll tell me how it went with Max,” Liz prompted in return.

“Don’t worry, okay,” Maria replied, “Kyle and I will handle everything. You go and take care of your company over there.”

Once Maria left Liz took her sweet time walking back over to the booth. When she reached the table David was smirking up at her knowingly. “Problems?” he inquired innocently, “I hope they didn’t leave on my account.”

“They…they had to go do a thing,” Liz supplied lamely.

David’s smile widened. “Elizabeth?” he questioned softly, “Do I make you nervous?”

“Yes,” Liz replied without hesitation.

“Why?”

“Because you keep staring at me!” she returned wildly.

“Well, I have to look at you…we’re talking.”

“And in a few moments I’m going to have to introduce you to my parents--,”

“Which is a good thing, I hope.”

“—and I have no idea what we are to each other, David!” Liz finished miserably, “What am I supposed to say to them? This is David my…what are you? Are we just…just ‘fuck buddies’?”

David grasped hold of her hand and tugged her down beside him. “We’re friends,” he said softly, “If we become more than that…well, we’ll see.”

“We’re already more than that,” Liz retorted glumly, “I’m pregnant, remember? I’d say we’re definitely past the ‘just friends’ stage…way past.”

“What are you asking me, Elizabeth,” he wondered gently, “Do you want to know if I’m still attracted to you? I am. Do you want to know if I want to have a relationship with you? I do. But I’m willing to go at your pace…whatever you want.”

“I’m not ready for a relationship, David,” Liz mumbled, “I can’t give you what you need and…I just really need to be by myself right now.”

“Okay, maybe we’re analyzing this too much,” David considered, “Let’s not define what we are at all right now. Instead we’ll focus on one thing at a time, shall we? Like…”

“Like?” Liz prodded.

“Convincing your parents that I don’t intend to leave you alone to raise this baby,” he said succinctly, “We’ll figure out the rest later. Agreed?”

Liz’s features split in a smile for the first time since he’d arrived, really for the first time in as long as she could remember. “That’s one of the things I missed most about you, David,” she teased him as they slipped from the booth.

“What?” he asked as Liz looped her arm through his.

“Your endearing penchant for oversimplification.”

[Deejonaise]

Chapter Sixteen

“That wasn’t as bad as I expected it to be,” David said to Liz as he unlocked the door to his hotel room. “No broken bones, bruises or loosened teeth. I think I made it out alright.” He stepped aside to allow Liz entrance into the room and then followed her inside. After removing his jacket, David tossed his keys onto the bed and sucked in a long draught of air. “I’m pretty satisfied.”

“Satisfied?” Liz echoed laughingly, “My father threatened to kill you tonight, David.”

“Yes, he did,” David agreed with an irreverent grin, “But he was extremely polite when he made it.”

Liz rolled her eyes at his joking attempt. “Aren’t you ever serious?” she queried in exasperation.

“Very rarely,” he quipped in reply, “I’ve got the rest of my life for that, Lizzabell.”

“Haven’t you realized yet that we are in serious trouble?” Liz moaned in long-suffering, “Everything’s so complicated and… The only thing I know for sure is that I want to keep this baby. How we’re going to work out visitation with you in Vermont and me in New Mexico remains a mystery though.”

“We’ll work it out,” David said, waving his hand dismissively.

“You keep saying that,” Liz replied, “But I don’t think you have the slightest idea how you plan to do it.”

“You’re right,” he agreed, shoulders slumping, “I don’t have any idea.”

At last she managed to wipe that irreverent grin off his face, but once it was gone Liz found that she missed his lighthearted expression immensely. She was finally seeing the real David behind the cheery, near impertinent facade he’d been presenting, the David who was just as frightened and confused as she was. He sank down on the edge of the bed, his throat working spasmodically. “I told my parents about us…I mean about you.”

“What…what do you mean?” Liz stammered, pressing her body back against the door.

“I told them that I met you at a little coffee shop a few blocks from school and that you completely blew my mind. That you were smart and pretty and funny…and pregnant,” he answered quietly, “They didn’t take the news very well.”

“I’ll bet,” Liz muttered.

“My mother’s reaction to the news made your dad’s reaction to me seem like a cake walk,” David half laughed, half sobbed, “She threatened to disown me if I tried to make it right by marrying you. She thought my Dad should pay you off.”

“Oh David…”

“It was really a relief not to have to go home for Spring Break,” he confessed miserably, “I just don’t think I could take her yammering at me right now.” He flopped back onto the bed to moodily contemplate the ceiling. “I don’t even want to think about it anymore,” he sighed wearily.

“I guess I’m not the only one who’s running, huh,” Liz mumbled in an underbreath.

David turned his head to regard her. “Excuse me?”

“You’re using me to hide out from your parents,” Liz told him, “And I’m using you to hide out from mine. I’m sure they’re just waiting to pounce once I go back home.” She blew out a self-deprecating laugh. “We make a pretty pathetic pair, don’t we?”

“So I was right about what was going on in that back room with your parents,” David inferred knowingly, “You were fighting with them, weren’t you?” Liz managed a small nod of confirmation. “I guess that means they weren’t too thrilled about the idea of you showing me to the nearest hotel, huh?”

“Nope,” Liz answered bluntly, “But they especially hated the part about you being the twenty year old sophomore in college who impregnated their still high school aged daughter.”

David squinted at her in remembrance, cringing inwardly when he recalled how livid Jeff Parker had been at that moment. “Yeah…that was pretty bad.”

“Understatement,” Liz declared wryly, “Definite understatement.”

They shared a half-hearted chuckle then. It was such an easy moment that the considerable distance between them seemed ridiculous. David sought to rectify that fact by beckoning Liz closer. Unfortunately, she surprised him by shaking her head in adamant refusal. David frowned his disappointment. “Why not?” he asked.

“You’re feeling sorry for yourself, that’s why. And…I’m feeling sorry for myself, too,” Liz clarified breathlessly, “I don’t think that’s a very good combination. We’ve already proven that neither of us have any sort impulse control.”

David laughed softly at her succinct observation, deliberately rolling from the bed and drifting over towards Liz with a low laugh. Playful grin in place, he stalked her like a lazy cat, stopping only when he had her body wedged between his and the door. There was left only a few, scanty inches between them. Liz’s pulse involuntarily quickened as he braced one forearm over her head, leaning his body into hers. “I still don’t have any, you know,” he whispered provocatively.

“Any what?” Liz sighed blankly, her eyes trained directly on his descending lips.

“Impulse control,” he answered just before leaning in for a kiss. Liz turned her head at the last moment so that his mouth glanced her cheek but that didn’t deter him. “Lizzabell,” he murmured against her ear, “I know you want to kiss me.”

“This is not a good idea,” she gasped faintly, trying to ignore the enticing little circles he nuzzled against the underside of her jaw, “I…I told you back at the Crashdown that I’m not ready for a relationship.”

David lifted his head at that. “Who said I was suggesting that we start a relationship?”

Liz leveled him with narrowed eyes. “What are you suggesting then?” she asked a little sharply.

In answer, he plucked at the neckline of her shirt, tracing over the delicate ridge of her collarbone. “That we have a little fun,” he whispered, “I’ll help you forget about your parents tonight and you’ll help me forget about mine.”

When he leaned down to kiss her a flash instantly seized hold of Liz the second they made contact. She could see them together, tangled up in the sheets of his bed. She could feel his body pounding into her own but when he leaned above her and she looked into his eyes it wasn’t David that Liz saw at all. It was Max.

Liz tore from the kiss with a sobbing breath, shaking off both her stirrings of arousal and the vision. “I can’t do this,” she declared, bracing her hands against David’s chest and pushing him aside, “This is just what happened the last time we were together and it’s just as wrong.”

“Why is it wrong?” David cried in frustration, “The damage is already done, Elizabeth. You’re pregnant, okay. It can’t get much worse.”

“Pity sex never helped anything,” Liz declared with shaky pragmatism, “If we…if we do this we’ll only create heartache in the long run.”

“Is there someone else?” David asked quietly.

“No,” Liz whispered.

“Then who are we going to hurt? I don’t understand,” David said, “It’s not like we haven’t done it before so why can’t we be together now?” He tried to take her in his arms again, but she staved him off. “Elizabeth what’s wrong? Is it…did you not enjoy it the last time?”

Though Liz blushed five shades of red with the question she made a valiant struggle to answer it. “Yes. Yes, I liked it,” she choked, “But that’s not the issue.”

“Then what is?”

“I slept with you for all the wrong reasons, David,” she blurted regretfully, “I was on the rebound, okay!” She waited for her words to stop reverberating around the room before she continued in a softer tone. “I was in a really bad place emotionally and being with you made me forget about that. But it was just a temporary solution and the morning after my problems were still there, but this time bigger than before.

“If I sleep with you now it will still be for all the wrong reasons. I can’t make that same mistake again, David. I’m sorry.” He appeared quietly thoughtful by her admission but not particularly devastated, which gave Liz the needed courage to continue. “I can offer you friendship, David, but… That’s all I can offer and if you can’t accept that then--,”

“I can accept it,” he said quickly, “If that’s what you really want then I can accept it.” He scratched his head in a thoughtful moment. “I just got the impression…from when we were at the café that…well…I thought you wanted me, too,” he finished lamely.

“It’s not that spending a night of mindless bliss with you isn’t tempting, David,” she confessed quietly, “but it’s hardly the wisest decision in the world. I’m about to become a mother soon. I can’t afford to behave like a child any longer…and neither can you.” Liz offered him one, last regretful stare and then said, “I should probably call a cab or something to take me home. It’s getting late and I don’t want to worry my parents anymore than they already are.”

Afterwards, when she would have gone outside to wait, David called out to her, breaking the uncomfortable silence. “I’m sorry, okay,” he murmured humbly, “I’d like to start over…maybe take you out for breakfast tomorrow morning. We can talk about the baby over pancakes. What do you say?”

“Are you clear on my feelings?” Liz asked evenly, “Because if not you can expect to do any further corresponding with me through mail. I won’t be fight off your advances every time we’re alone together.”

David offered her a grave nod. “You won’t have to fight off anything. I won’t overstep again,” he promised.

“Then yes,” Liz said, “I’ll join you for breakfast.”

Liz still insisted on waiting for her cab out on the curb simply because she didn’t trust her own resolve, not after that flash. Truthfully, it would have been so easy to fall in bed with David. Part of her had definitely wanted to. She had been agonizing every minute of every day since she’d returned and the chance to forget about her troubles, if only for an hour, had been all too tempting.

But then Liz recognized that she was in the same situation she’d been in Vermont. She was no more over Max Evans than she had been before she left for private school. She didn’t need to be involving herself in any kind of relationship, whether meaningless sex or deep commitment, until she’d untangled the mess Max had left behind in her heart.

Nothing in her life was simple anymore. Her parents were confused about the nature of her relationship with David. Apparently, David was confused about it as well. And Liz? She was hanging in a state of perpetual limbo, unable to move forward and unwilling to look back. But one thing being with David tonight had shown her was that she would have to choose a direction and soon. Otherwise, she’d make her family and friends’ lives just as muddled as her own.

By the time Liz lifted herself over her balcony that night she was bone tired and mentally exhausted. She was ill prepared for another emotional confrontation yet that was exactly what she got. Liz hadn’t taken two steps before a voice sounded out of the darkness, startling a low yelp of fright from her.

“Kyle and Maria came to me tonight,” Max whispered as he stepped out into the light, “But what I couldn’t figure out was why they were telling me instead of you. Do you really want to be free of me that much, Liz, that you couldn’t come and tell me in person that I’m supposed to die in the immediate future?”

Liz flinched in reaction to his heartbroken demand but strove to keep her composure. “Max, you shouldn’t be here,” she replied faintly. She took a reflexive step back when he drifted closer. “I thought we agreed--,”

“We didn’t agree, Liz,” he interrupted emotionally, “We never agreed! Haven’t you figured that out by now?”

“I don’t know what you want from me,” Liz rushed in a slow breath.

“I want you to forgive me,” he beseeched harshly, “I want you to let me back into your life again. I…I want you to stop hating me, Liz. This is killing me. God, I don’t know what to do anymore.”

“Can’t you just leave me alone, Max?” Liz moaned in a hiccupping sob, “I can’t keep doing this with you. I don’t have the strength.”

“Then stop fighting me,” he implored mournfully, “Cuz I don’t want to fight you anymore. I’m tired, too, Liz. All I want is a chance…”

“It’s not that easy, Max,” she said, “You broke my heart, damaged my trust…I don’t know if we can ever rebuild that. Don’t you get it yet? I’m afraid to trust you again!” She swallowed back a sob. “I’m afraid to let you back in my life. You hurt me…so much.”

“I know,” he replied brokenly, “I know I did. And I’m so sorry, Liz. I’m so sorry.”

“I can’t forgive you, Max,” Liz confessed shakily, “I’ve tried but…too much has happened now. I think it would be better if we just went our separate ways.” Max made a horrible mewling sound then, rather like he was being ripped apart from the inside out. Liz felt the same. She choked back her own sobs while Max wept before her openly.

“There has to be a way I can make this right,” he whispered.

Liz shook her head regretfully. “I’m sorry.” She whisked away her falling tears with the pads of her fingers. “You shouldn’t be worrying about this now, Max,” she reasoned hoarsely, “There’s Tess and the threat she poses. You have to be careful and--,”

“Are you doing this because you’re pregnant?” Max interjected dully, her fervent words about Tess seeming to bounce off him without any real impact, “Is that why you’re pushing me away? Because I don’t care about that, Liz. I thought I did but…it doesn’t matter to me…not if it means that we’re apart.”

Liz didn’t want to admit that his heartfelt confession had punctured the armor surrounding her heart but it had. She hadn’t even realized she’d been subconsciously harboring the secret fear of his rejection until his reassurance. But it still didn’t change the fact that she couldn’t trust him. Despite all his heartfelt desire Liz couldn’t put enough faith in him to lay her heart on the line once more.

She made yet another attempt to redirect his mind to the more important matters. “Max, you have to start thinking about what you’re going to do about Tess,” she insisted again, “You can’t afford to wait around anymore.”

“I don’t care,” he mumbled dully, “It doesn’t matter what Tess does to me. Nothing can be worse than the pain I’m feeling right now.”

“Stop it,” Liz half ordered, half begged, “Stop doing this.”

“You stop it,” his hissed in a tortured whisper as he stepped closer, “You stop it, Liz. I’m begging you for another chance here. I’m begging you. Do you want me to get down on my knees? I will!”

When he actually started to sink down before her Liz turned her back with a small cry of anguish. “Don’t you see that you’re killing me, Max,” she choked hoarsely, “If you really loved me you would let me go.”

“You’re right,” he agreed, coming back to his feet in a defeated slump, “I’m sorry I bothered you. It won’t happen again.” He slipped around her and deftly swung himself over the edge of her balcony. “For what it’s worth,” he said before lowering himself down the ladder, “I was glad to have you in my life for my friend for the time I did. Thank you…for that.”

Long after he was gone Liz remained on her balcony, weeping with her face turned up to the stars and wondering why she didn’t feel free at all.



**Next update Monday**

[Deejonaise]

...and I suppose I want to thank you all for the awesome feedback so, as usual , I come back with yet another part. This part is sort of a set up for something much bigger, which is why I decided to go ahead and post it today instead of waiting until Monday. Hope you don't mind.


Chapter Seventeen

“He’s looking sorta crappy,” Maria observed bluntly.

Liz guiltily snapped her gaze from across the cafeteria to Maria’s knowing face. Though she didn’t say so aloud Liz had to agreement with Maria’s brutal assessment. However, she tried to school her features of any reaction. Maria rolled her eyes. “Liz, come on. I saw you staring at him, okay,” she said cheekily, “So don’t deny it.”

“I guess I can’t believe he’s actually keeping his distance still,” Liz murmured, not altogether untruthfully, “It’s been two weeks already and he hasn’t spoken to me once.”

“I thought that was what you wanted,” Maria pointed out.

“It was,” Liz returned defensively and then she added in a more sedate tone, “I mean…it is. It is what I want.”

But really she wasn’t so sure anymore. In those first few days after the confrontation on her balcony Liz had tensed whenever he was near, fearful he would break into another round of pleading for forgiveness. But he didn’t. One day passed to the next without him saying a single word and with his silence a general panic began to take root in Liz’s heart.

Had he really given up pursuing her altogether? She had been so adamant about having her space that, now that she had it, Liz was beginning to wonder if space was what she truly wanted. She admitted to herself that she did miss him. She did miss his constant attempts to sway her over to his side. She missed the assurance of knowing that he loved her despite all her rejections. She had, at least, obtained some sense of control when he was chasing and she had been the one keeping him at bay. But now they were on equal footing again. Max still had no clue what she was thinking, but now Liz didn’t know what he was thinking either.

At most Liz had caught him staring a time or two but for the most part he kept his distance, but his stare remained always unreadable. She wondered if he was waiting for her to come to him or if he was merely regretting the loss of them. Max seemed a shadow in her life, still present but not as oppressive and stifling as before. Now Liz could think…breathe…now she could really reflect on what she wanted. And yet ironically, even with all the newfound freedom, Liz still found herself obsessing over Max Evans just as much as she always had.

In the very beginning David’s presence has served as a distraction, but when he left a few days later thoughts of Max took hold in Liz’s brain and refused to be quelled. Liz was acutely aware of the differences in him now. Everything about him simply dragged, his attitude, his clothes, even his gait. Just watching him struggle daily for joy was killing Liz a piece at a time, especially because she recognized that same endless despair in herself. There was no spark in his eyes, no life in his step. Max moved through the halls as if he were merely existing, as if he were waiting to die. Liz shivered at the thought.

She had thought that cutting Max out of her life would finally end her emotional torment. She had fully expected for the healing to begin. But instead her wounds continued to fester. Letting go and moving on were two different things entirely. She had let go of the idea that she and Max could ever pick up from where they had been, but she hadn’t moved on from him…not at all.

At night she lay awake in her bed, wondering and worrying. Wondering if he was okay, if he was coping. And worrying over his vulnerability, his ability to protect himself from Tess.

“Has he done anything about Tess yet?” Liz asked Maria anxiously, “Do you know?”

“Michael hasn’t said anything,” Maria replied, “But then he hasn’t been exactly chomping at the bit to share things about Max with me either.” Though Maria hadn’t mentioned specifically any fights she’d had with Michael over Liz’s last rejection of Max Liz was savvy enough to know that it hadn’t gone smoothly between them. She hated her part in that.

“Maybe I should go to him to myself,” Liz suggested worriedly, in an effort not to put Maria in the middle by asking her to snoop, “I really need to make sure he didn’t just blow the whole thing off and…” Maria gripped hold of her wrist before she could get up from the cafeteria table.

“Liz, leave him alone,” she warned gently, “You’ll only make things worse.” When Liz looked ready to protest she added quickly, “I’m sure he didn’t blow it off, okay. You’ve just got to give him some time to figure out what he wants to do and then just back off.”

“I need to be sure he’s okay, Maria,” Liz argued weakly, “Look at him.” She inclined her head across to where Max sat alone, picking disinterestedly at his lunch. “He’s drowning, Maria. I can’t just stand aside and do nothing.”

“You don’t have much of a choice, babe,” Maria returned sagely, “If you go to him all you’ll succeed in doing is complicating things between you guys even more. Liz, you just ordered him out of your life not two weeks ago, for crying out loud!”

“That doesn’t mean I stopped caring,” Liz returned painfully.

“Leave him alone, Liz,” Maria said again, “It’s the best thing for you both.”

Liz slowly sank down in her seat, knowing full well that Maria was right, but the knowing didn’t make it any easier to stay away from him. For the remainder of the day Liz made a concerted effort to keep her thoughts diverted from Max, but inevitably all her efforts proved to be futile. The more she meditated on the situation with Tess the more Liz plagued herself with what ifs.

By the time the last bell rang Liz felt a little stir crazy. She didn’t want to go home and stare at the walls of her bedroom; neither did she want to hang out at the Crashdown either, seeing as how that afternoon was one of her rare days off. In a last minute decision Liz had Maria drop her off at the library instead. Liz hoped that the quiet setting would afford her with some degree of peace.

She studied for more than an hour, accomplishing more than she’d expected to. Despite her lack of progress during the school day Liz managed to make significant headway on her homework and take home class work. By the time she packed up her books and called her father for a ride Liz was feeling a great deal more grounded. She thought she could get through another day. That is…until she saw Max.

He was hunkered down at a study desk not far from the entrance of the library, for all appearances, engrossed in his textbook. But there was something about the transfixed manner in which he stared at the page that made Liz suspect he wasn’t studying at all, but hiding. Liz thought perhaps that she should let it go, just walk away quickly and pretend she hadn’t seen him. Maria’s words from the cafeteria that day echoed over and over in her brain, but they didn’t deter her. Her heart had already decided her course.

Before she had even fully formulated her next move Liz was already walking towards him. She didn’t have anything planned to say at all and was frantically trying to come up with a greeting when he jerked upright, his eyes bright and round and very unsurprised.

“I wasn’t following you,” he blurted emphatically, mistaking the reason for her shuttered look, “I didn’t even know you were here until about fifteen minutes ago.” It never entered Max’s head to ask her why she had approached him. He was much too happy that she had.

“I know that,” she returned softly. She felt stunned being so near to him, seeing for herself the complete devastation on his face. He looked overjoyed to see her but at the same time fearful, too, almost like he was preparing to have his heart broken all over again. Liz wondered vaguely if she’d made the right decision by coming over to him.

“I’m failing pre-calculus,” he said, “That’s why I’m here. I needed a quiet place to study.” He held up his book for proof, as if he expected her to grill him about it.

Liz smiled a little at the gesture. She was fully conscious of the awkward hesitancy their conversation held but determined to press on in spite of it. “Home not so quiet for you then?” she inquired lightly.

“Not when your nine month old treats you like his personal jungle gym,” Max returned softly, “For someone so small he can be a big distraction.”

“Is that what I have to look forward to?”

Her question visibly startled him. He looked as if he didn’t know whether he should respond or pretend she’d said nothing at all. Finally he snatched up his pencil and said, “I guess it depends on whether you’re having a boy or a girl. I hear boys are more rambunctious.” He paused for a moment, scribbling a few notes in his notebook before asking with deliberate care, “Do you know yet…whether it’s a boy or girl?”

It hit Liz at that second the wandering intimacy that had taken hold of their conversation. Her first instinct was to end it immediately, pose her issues concerning Tess and be on her way. But she didn’t. She couldn’t. This was the first conversation she and Max had shared since her return that hadn’t been fraught with bitterness and Liz was loath to end it. So, in spite of all her reservations, Liz allowed it to go on.

“It’s too soon,” she answered thickly, “I have about another ten weeks or so before I know that.”

He pierced her with his stunning gaze. “Do you want to know?”

She was startled by the question. “Are you offering?” Liz countered, a little thrilled by the prospect. In this case her curiosity was winning out over her determination to keep her distance.

In answer Max pulled up a chair alongside him and patted the seat. “I’ll…I’ll have to touch you,” he said haltingly as she eased down next to him.

At the last second, Liz hesitated and started to rise from her seat but when she caught hold of his pleading eyes she stopped. “I…I won’t hurt you,” Max whispered gently. Liz didn’t know why she did but she acquiesced to him, sinking back down into the chair with an audible gulp and a jerky nod of consent.

A few seconds later, and with shaky reverence, Max pressed his hand into the small of her back while his other hand slid through the folds of her jacket to splay across her abdomen. Liz shivered at the warm of his touch. Her body went slightly boneless as she was reacquainted with the meandering poetry his fingers made across her skin.

“Just relax,” Max murmured, strumming her spine, “Trust me.”

Liz closed her eyes and did exactly that. His hand glowed faintly as he opened the connection between them, but only enough so that he could see the baby. Though he could feel Liz surround him like warm honey Max did not let himself fall into her, did not let himself take advantage of her trust. She had given him access to her child only and not the secrets of her heart and Max forced himself to respect those boundaries.

His foray into her psyche only took a brief moment and then he was gone, withdrawn both mentally and physically and leaving Liz trembling with cold. She blinked up at him, shivering with the aftershocks of their connection. “Well?” she whispered, the lump of hard emotion in her throat garbling her words, “What did you see?”

“You’re having a little girl, Liz,” he said, turning back towards his desk, “A beautiful, healthy little girl.”

“Thank you,” Liz murmured gratefully. Right then she had the tremendous urge to touch him, to pull him into her arms and hold him forever. But she didn’t. Instead Liz allowed the wall to go up between them once more because it was the best thing in the long run. She was quickly coming to realize that Max couldn’t make himself vulnerable to her anymore than she could make herself vulnerable to him.

“It was nothing,” he dismissed, deliberately averting his gaze, “Thank you…for letting me.”

“Max,” Liz said when he began fiddling with the edges of his pre-calculus book, “I think…maybe I was too harsh with you the other day.”

“You said how you felt,” he mumbled in return, “And I needed to hear it. We all need a wake-up call sometimes, Liz.”

“I don’t want you to think that you don’t matter to me anymore,” she went on insistently, “Because that’s not it at all. I’ve…I’ve been so worried about you.”

“Because of Tess?” he wondered thickly.

Liz nodded. “I can’t get that vision out of my head,” she whispered, “Every time I close my eyes I see you laying there, Max… I just need to know you’re okay and that you’re being careful.”

He laughed a little, low and ironic. “Do you know what happened the last time I turned to Tess?” he queried gravely, “I thought I had lost everything.” He paused to spear Liz with a hard look. “I thought I had lost you and she was there.”

“Max, I don’t want to hear this,” Liz whispered painfully.

“But I need to tell you,” he insisted gently, “I was feeling sorry for myself and I made the biggest mistake of my life.” He paused for a moment, giving them both time to wrestle with their own personal demons before plunging ahead. “Do you remember that day?” he whispered, “That day when you came to the Valentis and I went off on you?”

“How can I forget it?” Liz croaked. That day had been the final nail in the coffin for their friendship. And the downward spiral had been quick and consistent afterward. “You acted as if you hated me.”

“I didn’t hate you,” he said fervently, “I hated myself. Seeing you stand there that day I realized what I had thrown away. It had all gotten so twisted…when all I had ever wanted was to be with you. And the things I said…I was angry at myself, but I took it out on you and I’m sorry for that.”

Liz lowered her head to hide her tears and sniffled, “I guess I’ve been doing a little of that myself lately.”

“But we both made our decisions, right,” he remarked miserably, “And now we have to live with the consequences. Don’t we, Liz?”

She looked at him then, her tears slipping heedlessly down her cheeks. “Max, I’m sorry.”

“I can let you go,” he said, “because I know that’s what you want, but I will never, never stop loving you, Liz. And as for Tess…I’m handling her, too. So don’t worry about me…I’ll make this right somehow.”

“I’ll always worry about you, Max,” Liz confessed tearfully, “No matter what happens between us, Max. I’ll never stop caring about you.” He just nodded, as if he were too filled with emotion to speak at that moment. Liz recognized then that she had stayed too long and was, inadvertently, making things worse for them both. “Well, I just wanted to check with you,” Liz finished as she rose to her feet, “And to remind you to be careful.”

“I will,” he promised.

“Good,” Liz replied as she found her gaze hopelessly locked with his in a telling stare. It took every ounce of willpower she had to look away. “Well, I guess I’d better go on then. Thank you…again and…um…take care, Max.”

“You too, Liz,” he whispered as she walked away, “You too.”

[Deejonaise]

Chapter Eighteen

“Are you stalking me now?” Max abruptly slammed the driver side door closed when he spied Tess bouncing towards him from across the parking lot. Anticipation caused his heart to leap into his throat like a startled frog but Max schooled his features to remain passive. He had been awaiting this moment for more than a week and had very little margin for error. One wrong word, one wrong move could set Tess on her guard and shoot his plan straight to hell.

“I saw your car,” she said upon approach, “Thought I would stop and see if you’d given anymore thought to the proposal I made you the other day.”

Max had thought of little else. From the moment she had come to him with her plan for returning to Antar Max had been agonizing over his next move. He felt wedged between the proverbial rock and hard place, finally realizing that he could no longer take the inactive path. Max knew that Tess would continue to flitter in and out their lives wreaking havoc because she wasn’t being held accountable for any of it.

But that time was over now. In the end Max recognized that he had only one option. He would have to convince Tess that he was truly considering her suggestion to return to Antar and, once he had gained her trust, he would coerce her into revealing Khivar’s secret plans and, when that was accomplished, he would do what he should have done months before. He would kill her.

Every time Max considered the last part of that he felt like throwing up. He didn’t even know if he had it in him, to take her life in cold blood. Max stared at her now, so very feminine and petite and unsuspecting and he trembled with the thought of finishing her. Not because she deserved his compassion because she didn’t. But because all life was precious…even hers.

However, Max then had to remind himself that behind Tess’ innocent exterior lurked a devil. He had to remember that he was at war and Tess was his enemy. Again and again she had proved a lethal threat to everyone he cared about, especially his son. She had boxed him into a corner with her devious schemes and lies and heinous crimes so that Max no longer had any choice. It was kill or be killed…literally.

He leaned against the car door, his casual stance belying the riotous emotions rampaging through his gut. “I thought we agreed that I would find you when I was ready to talk,” he said neutrally, “Patience isn’t your strong suit evidently.”

“You’ve kept me waiting for a week already, Max,” Tess returned edgily, “Now what is it going to be? You want to stay on this planet, in this tumbleweed town where Liz Parker can make you miserable every day of your life or do you want to leave and go someplace where you can be a king with millions of adoring worshippers at your feet? This isn’t a hard decision, Max,” she concluded in an irritated huff, “It’s a no brainer, I’d say.”

Max ducked his head, for all intents looking as if he were truly thinking over her offer while in reality he was giving himself a mental pep talk for what lay ahead of him. Finally, he asked, “Is there someplace we can go to talk about this?”

“Someplace we can go?” Tess echoed, her blue eyes rounding with surprise at his inquiry.

“Someplace private,” Max clarified provocatively.

Tess smiled at him a little, as if she didn’t quite know what to make of him or his suggestion. Max waited with bated breath, half expecting her to call him out right then. But instead she nodded. “There’s my apartment,” she suggested deliberately, “Is that good enough or would you prefer someplace more public?”

Max forced a come hither smile to his lips, though at that moment he was only a hairsbreadth from loosing the contents of his stomach. “That’s actually perfect.”

He agreed to ride over in her car, not wanting to raise her suspicions by insisting he drive his own. His palms perspired profusely as he sat in that car with her, trying to appear casual and relaxed as he meticulously planned the details of her death. He’d have to do it quickly, immediately after he gained the information he sought otherwise he’d lose his nerve altogether.

Max was so busy mentally preparing himself for the moment that he practically sprang out of his seat when she spoke to him. He literally jumped when Tess unexpectedly broke the silence between them.

“Are you nervous?” she asked, noting his startled reaction.

“A little,” he confessed as honestly as he could, “I really don’t know what to expect.”

“Then why did you agree to come with me?” she demanded curiously, “What changed your mind? A week ago you couldn’t stand the sight of me.”

I still can’t stand the sight of you, Max thought caustically, but he wisely curbed the reply in favor of a more practical one. “You were right about what you said earlier,” he said instead, “There is nothing left for me here in Roswell and…and I want to go back home and take my rightful place there.” He fairly had to choke out that last part but somehow he managed.

“And you’re finally ready to accept me as your queen?” Tess queried with deliberate suspicion, “Because that is part of it, Max.”

“According to you that’s what you’ve always been,” Max returned vaguely, “But yes…I’m finally ready to accept my responsibilities and everything that entails.” Tess thought he was talking about his kingship and role as her husband, but Max was speaking about her life and his role as her executioner.

Tess made a grunting sound under her breath. “Liz must have really done a number on you, huh?” she reasoned, “Who would have ever figured that one day I’d be grateful to the little witch.”

Again Max had to bite back the stinging retort that sprang to his lips. “She wants nothing to do with me,” he replied, “And maybe that’s best.”

“So I’m just second choice, is that it?” Tess spat out somewhat bitterly, “Your consolation prize? You couldn’t have what you really wanted so you’re settling for me.”

Max fixed her with a noncommittal stare. “I doubt you’d believe me if I starting confessing my undying love for you, Tess, so I suggest you take what you can get.”

Abruptly, however her hostile expression faded into one of gentle affection. Max wanted to gag at the sight. “You’ll change your mind eventually,” she decreed with a great deal of confidence, “Just like the last time. Because you finally know now, don’t you, Max?”

“Know what?” he considered dully.

Tess’ blue eyes flashed triumphantly. “That I’m your destiny,” she finished softly.

Max looked away from her, thinking that in another few hours she would be dead at his hand. In some sick, twisted way he was her destiny as well…and she didn’t even know it. “How long until we get to your apartment,” he asked lightly.

Tess flashed him a knowing smile. “Is that eagerness I hear?”

Max swallowed back the bile that rose in his throat when she splayed her fingers across his thigh. He wanted to fling away her touch but he managed to control the inclination. It was paramount that he remain cool and in control otherwise he’d blow his plan even before he’d set it in motion. “It…It has been a long time,” he murmured huskily.

“Too long,” Tess agreed as her hand wandered higher.

He grabbed hold of her before she could reach his groin, forcing himself not to crush her fingers in his grip. “Maybe you should concentrate on the road,” he said when her eyes questioned his action, “I’d like to make it there in one piece.”

The suspicion gradually died from Tess’ eyes and she gamely returned both hands to the wheel. “Always the stickler, Max,” she remarked in near affection, “You were the same way back home, too.”

The remainder of the drive was made in relative silence. When they finally arrived at her apartment a few minutes later a lump of dread had settled low Max’s belly. He felt hot and flushed and more scared than he’d ever been in his life. As he climbed from her car he gave himself what had to be his twentieth mental pep talk in a ten minute span.

Noting his queasy expression Tess made an attempt to lighten his mood. “Don’t look so grim,” she teased him as they entered into her apartment, “You’re acting as if you’re about to face your execution.”

No, Max considered silently, I’m about to face yours. His stomach did another dip and roll, his conscience and his sense of duty at war within him. He wanted to run, but just as much he wanted to stay and finish it as well.

“I know I haven’t exactly given you very many reasons to trust in me, Max,” Tess remarked as she removed her coat and deposited it into the hall closet. When she was done she pivoted around to face him, an optimistic smile ghosting her lips. “But hopefully all that’s about to change.”

Max jerked his attention from the sparse contents of her home. She barely had any furniture to speak of and the walls were woefully unadorned. Max got the distinct impression that she’d never had any intention on staying in Roswell long despite her vehement protests to the contrary. He stared at her now, his gaze inscrutable. “Yes,” he agreed in a faint, deliberate whisper, “Hopefully.”

“Can I get you anything to drink?” Tess offered cordially, “Maybe a soda or something?”

“I’d much rather know about the deal you have in place with Khivar,” Max said as he followed her into the kitchen.

Tess whirled around to face him with an aggravated groan. “Oh please, Max,” she implored, “Tell me you’re not still harping on that nonsense! I told you that my deal with Khivar ended when he rejected Zan and made me a fugitive! Why won’t you believe me?”

“Maybe because you’ve lied to me so many times in the past,” he considered speculatively.

“I’m not lying to you now,” Tess insisted.

“Prove it,” Max challenged softly, “You say that you want me to trust you, Tess, but how can I do that when you keep lying to me?”

Tess narrowed her eyes into distrustful slits, backing away from him in skipping steps. “Why did you really come here today, Max?”

“I told you,” he said, “I want to be able to trust you. The only way I can do that is if you tell me the truth, Tess.”

Tess maintained her wary stare, but he could see that she was reasoning out his proposition behind her eyes. “How do I know I can trust you?” she demanded carefully, “How can I be sure you won’t betray me?”

Max held out his hand to her. “Have I ever betrayed you, Tess?” he asked, “I’ve always wanted to believe in you, but you kept giving me reasons not to.” She continued to glower at him mistrustfully. “Please Avanya…all we have is each other now.” He had deliberately referred to her by her full Antarian name in hopes of swaying her. At first it seemed that his ploy hadn’t worked at all. Tess maintained her fierce stare, studying his outstretched hand as if it were a striking cobra. But then, after what seemed like an eternity, she reached forward and took hold of his fingers.

“Can I really trust you?” she asked as he pulled her into the circle of his arms.

Max set his teeth and bent his head to kiss her, but he didn’t hold the embrace any longer than he had to. “Tell me what Khivar planned for me,” he urged.

“He’ll do anything to have the throne,” Tess began shakily, “First he tried though Vilandra and then he tried through me.”

“You mean through our son?” Max prodded.

Tess nodded. “At first, Khivar thought it would be enough to have the King’s heir and then if he married me he would have a rightful claim to the throne. If that happened all the Zan supporters could be legally branded as traitors if they didn’t swear their loyalty to him. Otherwise, Khivar could have them executed and thereby eliminate any opposition to his rule.”

“So what happened?”

“The people rejected Zan,” she explained, “They would not accept him as your son, especially because you had not returned with me. There was speculation that I had betrayed you much the way Vilandra had and there was a great uprising because of it. The palace was stormed by rioters and Khivar and his legions were forced into hiding.”

“So then what happened?”

“Khivar believed me to be a liability to him,” Tess said, “He would have killed me and our son if I hadn’t come up with an amended plan. I had no choice.”

“What amended plan?” Max asked with deceptive calm.

“I told him that I would come back to earth and somehow convince you to return to Antar with me,” she revealed, “Once we returned and you legally declared Zan as your heir Khivar would have you killed and then…marry your widow.”

“Meaning you?”

“Y…Yes,” Tess stammered, uncomfortable with the intense way he stared at her.

“So it’s the same exact plan as before?” Max reasoned.

“Not exactly,” she replied, “The first time Khivar believed he could have you executed as a traitor for your refusal to relinquish the Granolith. He had underestimated your popularity among the people.”

“I see,” Max said, stroking his fingers along the juncture of her shoulder.

Tess shivered a little at his touch, not because she found it arousing but because there was something decidedly cold about the caress. “Do you?” she burst out desperately, “Do you understand that I had no choice, Max? Khivar would have killed me and our son. I did what I had to. But that’s all in the past now. We can get around his plan. I know where he’s hiding, Max, and we can ambush him…kill him before he kills you.”

“I understand perfectly,” Max whispered calmly, framing her throat in his hands, “You did what you had to and now…so am I.” Before Tess knew what he was about Max tightened his fingers around her delicate throat like a vise, quickly cutting off her air supply. Tess made a choked gasping sound, taking off guard by his attack. She beat her small fists against his shoulders in a desperate effort to break free. “I see that you’re still the scheming, cold blooded murder you’ve always been and you won’t be stopped unless I stop you.”

Tess recoiled from his cold stare, realizing then that he truly meant to strangle her. Fighting against blacking out, she gathered up the reserves of her strength to mindwarp him. She made the connection only seconds before she began to lose consciousness.

“Daddy?”

Max whipped around to see a little boy of no more than three standing off in the entrance of the kitchen. His was barefoot, clothed in only a diaper and a t-shirt, his blue eyes wide with terror and shimmering with tears. Zan. In the logical portion of his mind Max registered that what he was seeing was an illusion, that his son was not really standing there but his heart still contracted with guilt. “Why are you hurting, Mommy?”

With a whimpered cry Max flung Tess away from him, clutching the sides of his head. “Get out of my fucking head!”

Tess grabbed that opportunity to escape. Gasping for air, she tore off in the direction of the front door only to have Max corner her in. She pivoted around him then, making a mad dash for her bedroom. She hoped to buy herself enough time to scramble out of the window and escape out into the parking lot. But Max dogged her heels, easily ducking the sporadic power blasts she sent back at him. He caught her just as she made a running dive for the window, blasting her across the shoulder so that she toppled face first into the bed with a yelp of pain.

Stunned and disoriented, she managed only to scuttle onto her back before Max was straddling her. He braced his forearm heavily against her throat, pinning her down. “I didn’t want it to be this way,” he gasped painfully, “But you’ve left me with no choice.”

“Please…please,” she wheezed hoarsely, “Please don’t do this, Max!”

Max tried valiantly to remain unmoved by her pleas. “I have to end this,” he whispered, “Don’t you see? It’s the only option I have now.”

He leaned into her, applying bruising pressure to her larynx, watching intently as the light began to slowly flicker from her eyes. Max thought he would feel some sense of satisfaction in finally making her pay. But as he watched the life slowly draining out of her, the tears leaking from the corners of her eyes he felt sick with himself, ashamed…and no different from her at all. In that moment he knew he couldn’t do it. No matter how much she deserved it, he could not be the one to take her life.

Tess sensed the hesitation in him, felt the ease of pressure off her throat and grasped on tightly to her waning consciousness. She fuzzily accessed the rapidly diminishing remains of her power to send Max one last mindwarp. She didn’t have the luxury of killing him…not yet and she was wholly unsure that his momentary indecision would continue. She had to take action while she could.

Max gradually became aware that Tess was no longer struggling beneath him. He stared down at her to find that her crystalline blue eyes were fixed and wide in a haunting death stare. Max scrambled away from her, his breath soughing in and out of his lungs in painful gasp. She couldn’t be dead, he thought frantically, he hadn’t applied that much pressure. Or had he?

Max crept close again, pressing his shaking fingers into the underside of her jaw. His gasps turned to anguished sobs when he felt no pulse. In reality Tess was recovering, rolled off to the side of the bed as she sucked great amounts of air into her starved lungs. In Max’s reality, however, she was dead and he…he had been the one to kill her.

He rolled off the edge of the bed, turning one last time to see her lifeless body before stumbled from the bedroom. Guilt ravaging like a cancerous tumor Max ran from the apartment as fast as he could, unaware that as he did Tess was gaining strength and plotting revenge.

“That’s the last time you betray me, Max,” she croaked in a weak gasp as she watched him the parking lot from her bedroom window, “The very last time.”

[Deejonaise]

Eek, controversy! And, strangely, I have nothing to add. But it's enlightening to get everyone's thoughts on the matter. I have a broader idea of what issues I should address in this story so keep them coming.



Chapter Nineteen

Isabel banged her fist on the bathroom door in growing impatience. She had been trying for ten minutes to open the door but her dear brother had obviously done something more complicated than simply locking it. “Max!” she yelled, “Can you hurry up, please! You’ve been showering for nearly an hour now. You can’t possibly be that dirty!” When he made no response to her enraged shouting Isabel began another round of fruitless banging. “Max!”

But Max was hardly aware of his sister’s bellowing. He didn’t register her disgusted growl or hear her when she stomped off in a huff. Trapped in his own private hell, he sat huddled in the far corner of the shower stall shivering uncontrollably. He had turned the spray to as hot as he could stand it and then proceeded to scour his skin raw and still he didn’t feel clean. Max brought his hands up before his face, healing hands…murderous hands. No matter how much he scrubbed he would never be able to wash the stain of Tess’ blood from his hands. So Isabel was wrong. He was that dirty…incredibly so.

When Max finally emerged from the bathroom half an hour later Isabel was camped outside and ready to rant. But her tirade died instantly the moment her brother shuffled out in his rumpled pajamas, his expression wan and ravaged. “Max!” she cried softly as he drifted past her, “What happened to you?”

“Nothing,” he mumbled, disappearing into his bedroom. But he knew that Isabel would not let it go so easily. Just like he knew that he could keep the truth to himself only for so long. Already it was eating away at him piece by piece.

“Something’s happened,” Isabel declared anxiously when she burst into his room seconds later, “I can tell, Max. It’s written all over you.”

“Where’s the baby?” Max asked calmly, noting for the first time that his son was not asleep in his crib.

Isabel looked ready to shake him over the unprecedented question, especially considering the fact he looked ready to pass out at her feet. But she did her best to answer him patiently. “He’s sleeping with Mom and Dad tonight,” she said, “He was uncommonly fussy all evening. Nothing we did could calm him down. He finally just cried himself into exhaustion about an hour before you got home.” She watched his facial features grow progressively grimmer as she spoke. “Max, what is it?” she asked, “You look like you’re going to be sick.”

“She’s dead, Isabel,” Max replied quietly, folding down onto his bed. He leveled his sister with a haunted stare. “She’s dead now.”

“Who’s dead?” Isabel demanded with mounting alarm. She started forward and desperately gripped hold of his shoulders. “Oh my God! Is it Liz?” she burst out frantically, “Did something happen to Liz?” Though they had shared their differences in the past and just recently as well Isabel didn’t wish any ill towards Liz. She definitely didn’t want to lose yet another one of her friends, even if they were on the outs presently.

“It’s not Liz, Isabel,” he reassured her. But Isabel barely had time to expel her relieved sigh when Max added, “It’s Tess. She’s dead, Isabel. I killed her tonight.” The words didn’t compute for Isabel. She recognized that Max was speaking, that he was telling her something gravely important but she simply could not comprehend it. “Well?” he prodded on the edge of hysteria, “Aren’t you going to say something?”

Isabel released him abruptly, her forehead crinkled in a frown of confused denial. “Max, what are you talking about?” she uttered in a low, choking laugh, “You didn’t kill Tess. That’s ridiculous.”

“Yes, I did,” he replied softly, “I strangled her this afternoon in her apartment. She’s dead, Isabel.”

His sister whipped away from him, dancing over to the foot of his bed while wildly shaking her head in denial. “No. No,” she said, “That’s not even you, Max. You’d never… I know you and you couldn’t do…something like that…”

“I did,” he whispered shamefully and then the room exploded with his racking sobs. “I didn’t mean to,” he wept, “But I was so angry and so tired… I only wanted to make everything right and…when I looked down at her she was dead.” He buried his face in his hands, weeping brokenly. “She was dead.”

“Where is she now?” Isabel asked in a careful whisper. Her shock was quickly fading, being replaced with a sharp burst of adrenaline; the fierce and undeniable need to act.

“In her apartment,” Max answered thickly, “I just left her there. I didn’t know what else to do.”

“Did anyone see you?” Isabel demanded. After nibbling at his lower lip for one pensive moment, Max shook his head. “Well, that’s good,” she sighed, “There were no witnesses, at least.” She stalked over to Max’s work desk and snatched up the telephone. “I’m gonna call Michael and Valenti,” she explained as she dialed, “They can help us dispose of her body and--,”

Max crossed the room and calmly cut the phone connection. “Don’t do that,” he pleaded quietly, “I can’t go back there, Isabel. She glared at him dubiously, trying to forcibly pry the phone cord from his fingers. Max twirled out of her reach. “I’m serious,” he said, “I can’t go back there…not ever.”

Again Isabel had to remind herself to be patient, but it was especially difficult in light of the rapid churning of her stomach. “We can’t just leave her there, Max,” she reasoned evenly, stepping forward to gently whisk the phone cord from him and replace it in the wall. She turned back to face him with a heavy sigh. “Think about it, Max. What if someone happens across her body? We can’t take the chance of it falling into the wrong hands cuz that would just lead the FBI and whoever else straight to us.”

“I can’t,” Max choked, shaking his head in refusal.

Isabel gripped hold of his hand, squeezing hard. “You have to do this, Max,” she whispered intently, “For Zan…for all of us…”

“Don’t you even care?” he mumbled painfully, “I just admitted to you that I killed someone tonight…not in self-defense but in cold blood, Isabel! God!” he cried, shaking off her touch and whirling away, “How can you even bear to look at me right now?”

“Max, she was evil,” Isabel said, “And she was a threat to all of us, especially you and Zan. You did what you had to.”

“She loved me, Isabel,” he revealed hoarsely, “In her sick, twisted way she did love me and…I used that against her.”

Isabel stalked forward and grasped hold of his shoulders, whipping him around so that they were face to face once more. “Stop it right now! Don’t you feel guilty about it!” she snapped harshly, “Don’t you dare feel guilty! A life for a life, Max! She paid for what she did to Alex. A life for a life.”

“It wasn’t my place to serve as her judge and jury, Isabel,” Max argued softly.

“I won’t be sorry,” was his sister’s stubborn reply, “You’ll never say anything to make me sorry that she’s dead.” She turned back towards the phone, resolutely punching in Michael’s phone number. “If you ask me she should have been dead a long time ago,” she muttered coldly.

Half an hour later both Michael and Valenti arrived within moments of one another. As a result of Isabel’s refusal to tell either one of them what was going on over the phone both men were in a highly agitated state when Isabel led them into the living room.

“So what the hell’s going on,” Michael demanded, noting both Max and Isabel’s grim expressions, “Has something happened? Is it Larek?”

“I doubt that,” Valenti reasoned calmly, “Otherwise there would have been little reason to call me over. Isn’t that right, Max?”

“It’s about Tess,” Isabel declared with a serrated breath, “She’s dead.”

“Dead?” Valenti and Michael echoed simultaneously. Their mutual outburst was then trailed by all the usual follow up questions like, “When?,” “How?,” and “Where?”

“I went with her this afternoon,” Max explained dully, putting a definitive end to all the questions, “She wanted to talk to me about returning to Antar and I let her believe I was actually considering it. When we got back to her apartment I convinced her to tell me what Khivar’s plans were for me and then…then I killed her.”

Michael and Valenti responded with the same shock and disbelief that Isabel had. “Are you trying to tell us that you…killed Tess in cold blood,” Michael asked deliberately, “That’s totally surreal, Maxwell.”

“Are you sure she’s dead,” Valenti followed, “Maybe you’re mistaken.”

“I’m not,” Max returned flatly, “I felt for her pulse. She didn’t have one.”

“How?” Michael whispered.

“I don’t know,” Max said, “I think maybe I cut off her air supply or…or maybe my weight snapped her neck. I don’t know…I was pretty out of it.”

“So it was an accident?” Michael prompted.

“No,” Max denied softly, “I did go over there to kill her. I’d been planning it for more than a week.”

“Good God,” Valenti muttered under his breath.

“Why didn’t you come to me?” Michael exploded in a furious hiss, “Why did you just decide to take her on alone?”

“She was my mess, all right!” Max fired back, “I’m the one who complicated everything to all be damned when I slept with her. I was the one who needed to fix the problem.”

“She was going to sell him out to Khivar, Michael,” Isabel interjected quietly, “Just like last time but not before she got him to name Zan as his heir to the throne. And after the vision that Liz had… He didn’t have a choice anymore!”

“Our planet’s in conflict right now,” Max expounded, “And Khivar is in hiding. Tess claimed to know where to find him but--,”

“—You killed her before she had the opportunity to tell you?” Michael finished roughly. Max confirmed that with a shameful nod. “So where is she now?”

“Still at her apartment,” Max answered.

“Then we should get there as soon as possible,” Valenti said, “and dispose of the body. We’ve only got so long before someone catches wind of her death…literally and then we’ll have a real mess on our hands.”

“Wait! Wait!” Michael protested as the others headed out the door, “Is disposing of her body really necessary? Won’t she just turn to dust like Nasedo did?”

“She’s half human, Michael,” Max reasoned, “It stands to reason that she’ll decompose like one. Valenti’s right. We don’t have a lot of time to debate about this.”

“Eww,” Isabel grunted, shuddering at the mental picture Max’s words created, “Let’s get this over with before I lose my nerve.”

The interior of Tess’ apartment was just as dank and deserted as it had been when Max left earlier that afternoon. It smelled faintly of charred wood and flesh. Fighting against the urge to gag, Max tread inside carefully, skipping over shattered pieces of sheetrock. Michael, Isabel and Valenti followed behind closely and with equal care.

“Don’t touch anything,” Valenti warned when Isabel would have gone searching for a light switch, “We don’t want to leave any fingerprints behind.” A few seconds later he clicked his flashlight to life, illuminating the confines of the small apartment. When he did a collective gasp went up among the group.

Michael emitted a low whistle as he surveyed the charred, gaping holes in the wall and crept closer for a more detailed look. “You two really went at it, huh?” he remarked to Max, “Did she hurt you or anything?”

“She was too hysterical so she kept missing,” Max remembered woodenly, “I clipped her in the shoulder though.”

“That explains the smell,” Isabel muttered to herself.

“So where’s the body?” Valenti demanded, swinging the flashlight about the empty apartment.

“In the bedroom,” Max answered thickly. He couldn’t help but remember her fixed, dead stare as she lay unmoving on the bed and he was in no hurry to see it again. “There was a scuffle and that’s where we ended.”

Recognizing immediately that Max was only a few seconds from losing it completely, Michael deftly took control of the situation. “Okay,” he said, “Valenti and I will check it out. You and Isabel stay here and stand guard.” Max and Isabel huddled close as Valenti and Michael disappeared into the back bedroom. But they emerged mere seconds later, agitated and fearful. “She’s not in there!” Michael announced fitfully.

“What do you mean she’s not in there?” Max demanded, already pushing past him to head towards the bedroom. Michael, Isabel and Valenti arrived immediately after Max made his discovery. The bed was empty and, save for the rumpled sheets, there were no signs of Tess anywhere.

“Maybe someone got here before we did,” Isabel considered with a fearful glance about the bedroom.

“Or maybe she wasn’t dead at all,” Valenti countered gravely. Three pairs of eyes ricocheted to his face in repulsed horror. “Max, are you sure…are you absolutely positive that you killed her?”

“I told you that I checked,” Max insisted, “She didn’t have a pulse!”

“Could it have been a mindwarp?” Valenti asked, “Because, looking around, I can’t see that anybody’s been here besides us. Nothing seems particularly out of place except for the things that were damaged during your fight with her.”

Valenti’s concise deliberation made Max’s blood run cold. Suddenly he recalled with stunning clarity the moment Tess had mindwarped him in the kitchen. She had been just seconds away from blacking out and still she’d managed, playing on his guilt and indecision about killing her by making him see the one person who would make him feel ashamed of his actions. Could she have also duped him into believing he’d killed her? Max stared down at the bed once more. “But she could have killed me then,” he muttered to himself in an underbreath, “I was right there…open and exposed. So why didn’t she? What does she want from me?”

The answer hit them all moments later. “Zan.”

“But we just left home,” Isabel burst out wildly, “And he was fine. He was sleeping with Mom and Dad!”

“Maybe she was just waiting for us to leave to make her move,” Michael considered grimly, “Maxwell, call home and see what’s up.”

“Already on it,” Max said, his cell phone in place and ringing. After several rings his mother finally picked up the phone. “Mom? Is Zan there with you?”

“Max?” Diane queried sleepily, “Is that you, honey?”

“Mom, I need to know if Zan is there in the bed with you,” he insisted again, on the edge of impatience.

“Yes, he’s here. He’s sleeping,” his mother snorted in exasperation, “Which is exactly what you should be doing as well. You’ve barely been home today at all and Zan’s been missing you all night, Max. You need to come home.”

“I’ll be there in a while,” he said, “I promise. Go on back to sleep.” When he hung up Valenti, Isabel and Michael all had their eyes pinned on his face, anxious for an update. “He’s fine,” Max said, “Mom says he’s sleeping so I guess everything is alright.”

“So where could she have gone then?” Michael wondered.

“Are we just accepting the possibility that she’s not dead,” Isabel queried direly, “I mean that still might be so.”

“If she were dead she’d still be here,” Valenti said, “No, odds are she was playing with Max’s mind just like she always does. So now we need to consider all the possible places she could have gone and get to her before she does something destructive.”

“Well, where would you go if someone you trusted had just tried to kill you?” Michael thought aloud, “What would you want?”

“Revenge,” Isabel answered darkly.

“And where would you go to get it?” he asked, dread and realization dawning.

Max was already fishing his cell phone back out of his pocket before Michael even finished his sentence. He punched the speed dial button on his phone designated for Liz’s cell number, his blood roaring loudly in his ears as he did. With each ring Max thought he would go insane with waiting. He started to hang up and try again when she finally picked up. Max nearly sobbed with relief.

“Liz? Are you alright?” he fired, “What took you so long to answer?”

“Why am I not surprised that she was the first person you’d call, Max? Gotta say I was fully expecting that one.” Max swaying in sickened dread, a cold shiver of fear trickling down his spine when Tess’ roughened voice sounded in his ear. “Surprise,” Tess trilled bitterly, “I’m not dead but I bet you wish you were right at this second, don’tcha Max?”

“Where’s Liz?” he demanded woodenly, “I want to talk to her right now.”

“She’s alive but sorta tied up at the moment,” Tess said with an evil laugh, “But that won’t be the case for long if you don’t give me what I want.”

“And what do you want?”

“Meet me at the pod chamber in one hour and you’ll find out,” she ordered succinctly, “And bring my son. I’ve got big plans for the three of us.”

“I want to know that Liz is okay,” Max insisted forcefully.

“You’ll know she’s okay when I’m ready for you to know,” Tess returned coldly, “Just do what I ask and everything will work out. But Max…if you try and screw me there will be hell to pay. I promise you.”