Songs of the Heart (M/L ADULT AU) (Complete)

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Songs of the Heart (M/L ADULT AU) (Complete)

Post by Emz80m » Sat Feb 26, 2005 7:36 am

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Title: Songs of the Heart.
Author: Emma (aka Emz80m)
Disclaimer: I don’t own any rights to Roswell I’m just borrowing them. I also don't own the songs used this fic, they belong to the artists and/or the record companies.
Category: M/L CC AU
Rating: ADULT
Summery: This is the sequel to ”My Favourite Song”. I know it’s been a while but I finally decided to do it.

This picks up a couple of years after the end of MFS and will be very angsty.

Part 1


Here's the thing we started off friends
It was cool but it was all pretend
yah yah since you've been gone
your dedicated you took the time
it wasn’t long till I called you mine yeah yeah
Since you’ve been gone

And all you'd ever hear me say is how
I pictured me with you that's all you'd ever
hear me say but since you've been gone
I can breath for the first time I'm so movin'
on yah yah thanks to you now I get what I want
since you've been gone

how can I put it you put me on
I even fell for that stupid love song yah yah
since you've been gone
how come I never hear you say I just want to be with you.
Guess you never felt that way

but since you've been gone I can breath for the
first time I’m still movin on yah yah
thanks to you now I get I get what I want
since you've been gone

you had your chance you blew it out of sight
out of mind shut your mouth I just can't take it
again and again and again and again
since you've been gone

since you've been gone
I can breath for the first time
I'm still movin' on yah yah thanks
to you thanks to you now I get I get what I want
I can breath for the first time I'm still movin' on
yah yah thanks to you thanks to you now
I get I get you should know you should know
got to get I get what I want
since you've been gone you
since you've been gone you
since you've been gone you

“Great work” Maria smiled at me when I finished the song. It was a new one and I wasn’t sure if it was going to work on the new record but so far everyone had loved it.

“Thanks” Liz nodded.

“Michael and I are going to grab some Thai before heading home do you want to come?” she asked.

“Um no, thanks though” I didn’t feel like being a third or a fifth wheel tonight which is what I would have ultimately been if I said yes.

“You sure?” Alex asked.

“Positive” I told them “Get out of here” I smiled.

The four of them hesitated at the door before looking back at me. They were great friends and I am so lucky to have them.

When they all walked out I finally let my smile fade and I was once again alone. The tears that I normally worked hard at keeping at bay fell freely as my fingers worked over the keys of the piano.

I was so involved in what I was listening to and feeling that I didn’t hear the door open or notice that Isabel had come back in.

“I’m sorry,” she says. I turn away quickly so I can wipe the tears away.

“Um no that’s fine did you forget something?” I ask her.

“No” she shakes her head “I see through you, Liz,” she says quietly.

“What do you mean?” I ask.

“I see how much you’re hurting even though you’re trying to pretend your ok” she tells me.

“I am ok, Isabel” I tell her. I know I’m not, in fact I’m sinking so deep that right now I don’t know if anyone can save me from drowning.

“I’m here for you, we all are,” she tells me and I know that she means it, they all do. They’ve reached out to me on countless times but living in my own little cocoon is easier for me and for them because if they even caught one glimpse of how ok I’m not then they would force my walls down and right now I couldn’t deal with that.

“I know, thank you” I tell her.

“Liz” she sighs “Are you sure there isn’t something that you want to tell me” she adds looking down my body to my abdomen. I knew it was only a matter of time before my baggy clothes would no longer conceal it.

“I need to get home,” I tell her standing up. I can’t do this here; I can’t do this with her.

“Liz” she pleads following me as I quickly grab my stuff and flee the studio.

I turn around to face her; I can’t stand to know I’ve let her down. She has been my rock over the past six months and I love her for it.

“I can’t do this” I say my eyes filled with tears “Please don’t make me do this with you, here” I beg her.

I see right away that she understands how close to the edge I truly am and she lets me take a step backwards.

“Hey Liz, Izzy” a voice interrupts.

“Hi Brian” Izzy smiles.

Brian is our manager, a great one at that but we have a history and it makes me uncomfortable being around him.

“Hi” I say “Listen I have to go so I’ll see you guys bright and early tomorrow” I tell them before turning and rushing away. I can still here Brian’s voice asking Isabel if I’m okay in the background but I force myself to keep walking.


I walk into my dark apartment and the lonliness I am constantly running from settles over me like a blanket. I dread turning the lights on and seeing the same emptiness that has greeted me for months now. I long to go back on the road so I don’t have to deal with that but I know that wont be happening anytime soon.

Leaving the lights off I walk through the apartment and into the bedroom and turn the light on in there. I shed my clothes and look at my body in the mirror. The slight swell of my abdomen is clearly visible and I rest a hand there gently. It’s only when I’m alone like this that I acknowledge what is happening to me and that is a few months time I’m going to be a mother. I’m going to be a mother and I am not prepared. I have no idea what I’m doing or how I’m going to do this on my own.

I walk into the bathroom and stop when I smell it. It’s him. My bathroom still smells like him. After four months and twenty days my bathroom still smells like him.

I slide down the tiles and finally let the sobs take over my body. I cry for the heart ache I feel that he’s gone and I cry for the baby I’m carrying and that because of me that their life is going to be ruined and I mostly cry because it’s all my fault.


After Liz flees the studio and I finally escape Brian’s questions I meet up with Maria, Michael and Alex at the Thai restaurant around the corner from the house the four of us share.

When Alex told me about the record deal Flammable got and asked me to come to New York with him I never hesitated but now that I see how much this is costing the people we love I have to wonder whether it’s all worth it.

Flammable have made it big over the past two years, they’re records have gone platinum and their concerts now sell out in the first half an hour. It’s a sweet life now that they’ve hit the big time and now that’s happened they can sit back and record and cut back on touring.

“Is she ok?” Alex asks me as I slide in next to him. Liz might think that her act is Oscar Winning but it isn’t. We all see that she’s hurting but none of us know what to do to make it go away.

“No” I shake my head. I stand up again then, there is no way I should be sitting down and eating Thai when my best friend is falling apart in front of my eyes.

“In fact I need to go over there,” I tell them.

“Not without us” Maria objects, “We’ve all tried Iz and none of us are getting through maybe we should all try together” she suggests.

I watch Alex nod his head agreeing with her before I watch Michael turn and shake his head that he doesn’t.

“Only one person can fix this,” he says quietly.

“Yeah well he’s not here” I say sadly.

“Well maybe it’s time we call him” Alex pipes up. We have avoided ringing him for months now, we pretend that everything is fine every time he rings but it’s not.

I sit back down defeated. “I don’t know if he’ll care” I whisper. He doesn’t ever mention her, its as though she doesn’t exist and that what they had never happened.

“We have to try” Alex said.

“Call him Isabel” Maria says reaching over to pass me her mobile phone.

I shake my head “Not here” I tell them.

We place an order for takeaway and we leave the restaurant. I wait until I’m in the car before dialling the familiar number.


I run into my apartment throwing my bag on the ground when I hear the phone ringing.

“Hello” I answer panting.

“Max” says the voice quietly on the other end. It takes me a few minutes to work out it’s my sister, she doesn’t sound like her normal happy self.

“Izzy? What’s wrong?” I ask. I look at my watch and realise with the time difference it must be close to ten in New York not late by Isabel’s standards but her voice is a dead give away.

I hear her sigh in the phone “What’s wrong your scaring me?” I tell her.

“It’s Liz,” she says.

That one word says it all and I feel my entire body tense. We haven’t spoken that name in five months and I wish she hadn’t spoken it now. I move so that I can sit down, I feel my legs weakening underneath me.

“Please don’t do this,” I say. It’s been a tough five months but I’m finally at a place where I feel like I’m not going to cry when I think about her.

“I have to” she says.

I here some rustling then before I hear Michaels voice “Maxwell” he greets me.

“What Isabel is to chicken to say is that you need to get your butt on a flight to New York now” Michael tells me.

I am about to object and tell Michael that there is no way I’m getting on a plane and going anywhere.

“I mean it, this is serious,” his voice says and I freeze because if it’s serious enough for my best friend Michael Guerin to ring and tell me its serious it’s already reached urgent.

“What’s wrong with her?” I demand then.

“We have a few ideas but I think you should come back and find out yourself,” he says.

“Michael if this is some plan of you guys to get us back together then save it” I sigh.

Michael scoffs on the other end “We got the message, Maxwell” he says.

Last edited by Emz80m on Sun Apr 24, 2005 7:49 am, edited 26 times in total.

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Post by Emz80m » Tue Mar 01, 2005 6:26 am

A/N: Hi everyone. Thanks for the feedback so far i'm glad that you are all going to give this a go. I want to assure you that this does have a dreamer assurance :D but out dreamers have a lot of "stuff" to work through in this fic.

Thanx again for the support and please stick with me

Sweet Liz
Jason's Lover
Alex Balex

Part 2

I don’t know what time it is when I finally pull myself off the floor. I finally cried myself to the point that I was sick and believe me that’s not a good feeling considering that I know come tomorrow morning I will be sick all over again.

After a shower I throw on my robe and make my way into the kitchen to try and find something to eat. It’s the last thing that I feel like but the Doctor told me I have to eat more so I’m trying really hard.

I see the light flashing on the answering machine and I hit it.

“You have three new messages” I groan.

“Hi honey it’s mum, please call me. I’m worried about you” she says.

“Hi Liz it’s Dianne” there is a pause and I freeze. I haven’t spoken to her in months. “I miss you sweetie and your mum is really worried about you. Please call me, anytime” she says.

“This is a message for Elizabeth Parker. It’s Renee here from Dr Wilson’s Office I was just ringing to confirm your appointment for your sonogram tomorrow at three o’clock. Please call me if you are unable to make it”

I sigh I had completely forgotten, just like I had forgotten that I was supposed to start birthing classes next week even though no one knows I’m pregnant and I don’t even have a birthing partner.

I finally decide on a sandwich and some fruit and then I crawl into my big lonely bed and close my eyes praying that tomorrow will be a completely new day and that maybe, just maybe things will look a little better.


We watch in shock as Liz breezes into the studio early the next morning. She does this sometimes but after yesterday we weren’t expecting it.

Max rang Isabel earlier that morning and told her he would be on a flight later that day.

“Okay let’s get to work because I have to leave at two” she says.

“Oh” I frown. We’ve pretty much got most of the album down but normally Liz is the first one in the studio every morning and the last one to leave.

“How come?” I enquire.

I watch as she shrugs and I know right away that she’s about to try and lie to me “I have an appointment” she answers. Ok that’s progress.

We have all been watching her closely the last few weeks since her stomach began expanding to the point that it was obvious something was going on. I wanted to ask her point blank if she was pregnant but the others talked me out of it. At least now I know she’s not in denial.

“Did you need me to come?” I ask her.

I see her stop, she’s a little shocked that I asked her.

“Um you wouldn’t mind?” she asks me hesitantly.

I smile then “of course not” I tell her.


I sigh as I look out the window and take in the New York skyline. I didn’t expect to be back here again so soon, if ever. Isabel has been pretty quiet on the drive so far. I know she wants to say something to me but has decided to wait until I ask.

“Are you going to stay with me?” she finally asks breaking the silence.

“Yeah is that ok?” I say.

“Of course” I know it’s going to be awkward I haven’t spoken to Maria or Alex since I left New York five months ago without a word. It didn’t surprise me though that they would take her side, they were Liz’s friends first after all.

We continue on in silence “Are you even going to ask?” she demands then.

“Ask what?” I play dumb.

”What could be so bad that Michael would demand you to come back” she replies.

“Oh you mean you are willing to give me some insight?” I say sarcastically. I just got on a 4 hour flight because they asked me too, without a good explanation. I shouldn’t have to ask.

“God Max do you know how hard it was for us to call you over this” she says and I can tell by the way her voice cracks that she’s on the verge of tears.

Sighing “I’m sorry Iz, I realise you wouldn’t have called me unless it was important but I’m flying blind here I mean is she sick, injured, what?” he says.

“That’s the thing we don’t know, she wont talk to any of us. We know there is things going on, major things but she doesn’t say a word” she replies.

“Where is she now?” I ask “I just want to get this over with, see what I can do and get back to Boston” I say. Despite the fact that at one time New York was my life it isn’t any longer. I have school and friends in Boston.

“God Max this isn’t something that a 2 hour visit is going to fix” she tells me angrily.

We pull up out the front of their music studio then and I frown. This is the last place I want to be. This place is where my entire life fell apart and I’m not in a hurry to relive it.

“What are we doing here?” I ask her.

“Well they’ve been recording for the past month so this is where she’ll be” she tells me.

I don’t want to go in there. I’m not ready too but if I want to be on the red eye home then I need to get this over with.

I follow Isabel up the stairs and into the studio. The red light is on so we stand back and wait until the recording ends. Brian is sitting on the chair next to their producer who I don’t know and I clench my fists angrily.

“Hey” he greets us and then looks at me a little surprised “hi Max” he nods.

“Hi” Isabel says “We’re going to head in if they’re finished” she tells him.

“Yeah go ahead their done for the day anyhow” he tells her.

We walk into the studio and that’s when we realise its only Alex and Michael

“Hi where are Maria and Liz?” Isabel asks.

“Maxwell, good to see you” Michael smiles.

“Hi Max” Alex nods making his way over to give Isabel a kiss.

“So?” Isabel asks them.

Michael shrugs “Maria said that Liz has an appointment and she agreed to let Maria come” Michael said.

“Really?” Isabel asks and for some reason that seems to make her extremely happy “I wish I was here” she says then.

“Yeah Maria was pretty stoked” Alex says.

“What’s the big deal?” I find myself asking.

They all tense and go quiet then “Well Liz hasn’t really been very cooperative lately” Alex says.

“Lately?” I scoff. This is not a new development I can assure them that.

“Don’t start, Max” Isabel warns me and I know by the tone in her voice not to piss her off.

“Just drop me off at her apartment” I tell Isabel.

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” she says.

“You tell me, I don’t know anything” I say.

“You know what Max’ Alex says angrily. “I thought having you come here would be best for Liz otherwise there is no way I would have agreed to it. So if this is the attitude your going to use when you go see her just forget it and go back to Boston” he says before stalking out of the room.

“he’s right” Michael agrees with him. “I know we haven’t told you much and that’s wrong but Max she’s a mess and she has been since you left. She’s sick all the time, she doesn’t sleep or eat and she looks like shit. She doesn’t talk to any of us anymore and everything that she produces just cries out her pain and agony. We’re loosing her and nothing we do is helping” he says.


I lay it all on the line. Sure there is more I can say but I figure that’s Liz’s place. We all assume she’s been waiting for her chance to tell him before she tells the rest of us.

To be honest I’m not completely sure what happened between the two of then five months ago but what I do know is that Max seems fine and dandy living his life in Boston while we’re all here slowly loosing our best friend everyday.

“If she’s that bad why haven’t you said something before?” he asks.

“Because you don’t want to hear about her” Isabel yells.

“For god sakes Max you cut yourself off” she cries “Do you know how we felt when we had to tell her that she couldn’t have your phone number, do you know how mum felt. She wont even talk to Mum anymore, Max”

I watch the emotions cross Max’s face and I can see that he realizes how bad things are. When he left he cut himself completely off at first. It’s only been in the past couple of months that he’s allowed Isabel and I contact with him and when he did finally call us he told us that if we gave Liz his number that he would disconnect the line and we wouldn’t get a second chance.

Well now he doesn’t have a choice, there are things he needs to know.


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Post by Emz80m » Thu Mar 03, 2005 7:11 am

A/N: Hi everyone, thank you so much for the feedback i really appreciate it. I also realise that some of you are a little confused but i ask you to bear with me because i will reveal more about what happened in the coming parts. So anyway i am posting early :D

dreamer19 - I am so sorry i didnt mean it.
True Destiny 666
Sweet Liz
Canadian Oracle - thank you
Jason's Lover

Part 3

I’m sitting in the waiting room with Maria next to me and I know I’m running out of time. I turn to face her and she looks up from the magazine she’s reading and smiles.

“I-I’m” I try to stutter out.

“it’s ok sweetie you can say it” she assures me.

I know I can. I mean this is Maria she is my best friend but saying it out loud makes it real.

“I’m pregnant” I finally blurt out.

She smiles at me before pulling me in to her arms “I know sweetie and I’m so happy for you” she says.

I pull back and look at her shocked “I’m sorry” I cry “I wanted to tell you but I wanted him to know first” I cry.

“I know sweetie” she comforts me.

“Is this your first trip to the Doctors?” she asks me then and I can tell she's worried.

I reach down to my bag then “No, I say” and pull out the earlier pictures of my sonograms.

“Oh god” she cries out happily when she sees the baby in the pictures.

“How far along are you?” she says then.

“About 27 weeks” I shrug.

We’re called into the room then and nurse instructs me to lay on the bed and raise my top. A couple of minutes later my Doctor walks in

“Hi” she smiles at us “how are you feeling today, Liz?” she asks.

“Good thanks” I lie. She seems to understand this and nods.

“Hi I’m Doctor Wilson” she introduces herself to Maria.

“HI Maria Deluca, proud aunt and best friend” she says as though she’s campaigning or something. Even I have to laugh at that.

“Well lets have a look at this little one” she says then.

She puts the jell on my stomach and then begins running the machine all over my stomach.

“There we are” she smiles and I grab Maria’s hand in mine as I see my child and hear the heart beat.

“Are we finding out?” Maria says excitedly which causes me to laugh.

“No I want it to be a surprise” I tell her.

“Well everything looks good, Liz” the Doctor tells me. “Strong heart beat and a good size. I’m glad to see your looking after yourself a little better. Are you taking your vitamins?”

I nod. During my last visit I got quite the serving on how sick I was looking and that I wasn’t eating enough.

“Now I want to talk to you about the birth” she says.

I hesitate for a second before answering. I have given this a lot of thought over the past couple of months and realize that this is my best option.

“I’m going home” I tell her.

“You’re going home?” Maria asks me and I can tell she’s shocked.

I nod “I think it’s best. There will be less media and I’ll have my mum” I tell them both.

“Ok” Doctor Wilson nods “I’ll get you a referral for someone close to Roswell” she smiles.

“Thank you” I tell her.

“Your welcome”

Once she leaves the room I dress quietly but I can see Maria looking at me.

“You need some proper clothes” she tells me.

I begin to shake my head. The last thing I want to do is go shopping but when I struggle to pull my stretchy pants up over my stomach.

“Ok but one shop and then I want to go home and eat” I tell her.

I see her smile grow and I know I made the right decision.

Two hours later though I’m regretting it. I have on a new outfit which even I have to admit looks great and five bags of clothes but I’m totally exhausted and just want to go home.

“Thanks” I say as she drops me out the front of my apartment complex.

“No thank you. I’m glad you told me” she says.

“Um do you mind not saying anything to the others I’d like to tell them myself” I say.

“Sure thing but don’t leave it too long” she tells me.

“I wont. Bye Ria”


As soon as she enters the building I pull out my phone and dial Isabel.

“Hey” she answers.

“Hey, I just dropped her off at home so what’s going on with Max?” I ask.

I hear her sigh on the other end “He’s at her apartment” she answers.

I freeze “What?” I say.

“He made me drop him over there he said he still has a key or something” she answers.

“Oh god I’ve got to go” I tell her.

“Maria what’s going on?” she yells.

“As soon as he sees her he’s going to know” I tell her.

“No he wont her clothes conceal it” Isabel said.

“We just went shopping and I made her wear her new outfit, believe me you can tell” I say.

“Oh god” she says.

I flip the phone shut and pull the car to the curb, I know it’s an illegal park but right now I don’t care. I have to get there before something bad happens.


I leave the place dark when I go in and just take a seat on the lounge and wait. I’m surprised she isn’t back yet but she can’t be too much longer.

When I hear the sound of a key in the door I hold my breath. I thought I was ready for this but the truth is I’m not. I have no idea what to say to her I haven’t seen her in close to five months and even then I don’t think I really saw her.

I can vaguely see her face as she walks in and she begins moving through the apartment in the dark. I decide it’s now or never and I switch on the lamp next to me.

I hear her gasp and her dark eyes dart straight to mine, and her mouth opens in shock.


I move to scream when the light suddenly turns on but when I see the face staring back at me from the couch I cant find my voice. I just stare at him in shock.

His eyes stare back at me before they slowly begin traveling down my body and when they reach my stomach I see them freeze.

“W-What are you doing here?” I whisper painfully.

He slowly brings his eyes back to mine and I can see the shock on his face, imprinted deep in his eyes.

“Y-Your pregnant” he stammers.

I find myself nodding and it causes the tears in my eyes to run down my face.

He gets up off the couch and flees for the door and as he stumbles out Maria stumbles in.


I run down the 23 flights of stairs and don’t stop until I’ve reached the footpath. I sink down onto my knees and take massive gulps of air as one thing runs through my mind.

“She’s pregnant”

I close my eyes and the minute I do I regret it because a thousand questions spring to mind.

“She’s pregnant”

I wonder how long my sister and best friend have known and why they didn’t tell me. I mean it’s pretty obvious from the bulge in her stomach. I realise by running away I’m not getting the answers to any of the questions I have so I stand up and make my way back into the apartment complex we used to share. I use the lift this time and before I know it I’m back on the twenty third floor and letting myself back into her apartment.

“Come on sweetie settle down” I hear Maria trying to soothe her. I walk slowly into the room until the light illuminates me and they see me.

“You’re back” Maria states.

I nod.

I watch as Liz turns her tear filled doe eyes to me then and that action alone almost breaks me. I want to run to her and take her in my arms and beg her to tell me that the babies mine. To tell her that everything is ok, but it’s not. I’m so angry with her right now, I’m still so angry with her.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” I finally find my voice.

Maria hops up off the couch and heads toward the front door and I watch as Liz hops up and makes her way over to the computer desk that sits in the corner.

She opens the draw and pulls something out that I can’t see and brings it back over and hands it to me.

TBC......... if you cant wait PM me :D

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Post by Emz80m » Sun Mar 06, 2005 6:40 am

A/N: Hi everyone, i know you all want answers so hold tight because you'll get them in the next part. Thank you so much for your wonderful feedback i really appreciate it :D

I also want to thank those of you have nominated me or any of my fics so far, i really appreciate it.

Sweet Liz
True Destiny 666
Jason's Lover
Spicy trini1

Part 4

It ain't no fun lying down to sleep
And there ain't no secrets left for me to keep
I wish the stars up in the sky
Would all just call in sick
And the clouds would take the moon out
On some one-way trip

I get the letters out of the draw and walk shakily towards him. I want to reach out and touch him but I can tell from the look on his face that it wouldn’t be welcome so I return to the couch and crawl back on.

“What are these?” he whispers.

“Letters” I answer. “They all got sent back,” I tell him quietly.

I written one every week since he left, but just like the first one they all come back return to sender saying that there is no Max Evans on the Harvard Campus.


I look over the letters and see they have all been addressed to me care of Harvard Campus.

I drove all night down streets that wouldn't bend
But somehow they drove me back here once again
To the place I lost at love, and the place I lost my soul
I wish I’d just burn down this place that we called home
It would all have been so easy
If you'd only made me cry
And told me how you're leaving me
To some organ grinder's lullaby

“I don’t live on campus” I tell her

She nods her head. She worked that out already obviously

“No one would tell me” she says.

I realise then what a terrible mistake I’ve made not allowing her to have any contact with me. I could have at least allowed her to send me these letters then I would have known about the baby that she was carrying.

I move to the couch and sit beside her my eyes returning to her stomach.

“How far along are you?” I ask.

“27 weeks” she answers.

“Wow” I say.

“yeah” she smiles slightly.

“Why didn’t you ask Isabel to tell me?” I ask then.

I see her head drop slightly “they don’t know” she says.

“What?” I ask surprised.

“they don’t know, I haven’t told them”

I chuckle a little “I think it’s obvious” I say.

I watch her eyes cloud over “this outfit is new I’ve been wearing baggy tops” she admits.

I see her shoulders start to shake then “ I wanted to tell you first” she starts to cry “but I had to tell Maria today because I had to go to the Doctors and next week I start birthing classes and I don’t have anyone to come with me” she cries.

It's hard, so hard - it's tearing out my heart
It's hard letting you go

I only hesitate for a second before I’m pulling her into my arms “Shh” I tell her,“its ok” I assure her.

I let her sob against my chest just running a comforting hand through her hair trying to calm her down. I missed being near her, the feel of her hair, just sitting with her like this.

Eventually she pulls away and wipes her eyes with the back of her hands I can tell she’s feeling awkward about just breaking down in front of me.

“So what are you doing here?” she finally asks me.

“Isabel and Michael called me. They were worried about you” I admit.

She nods slowly before standing up and walking towards the kitchen.

I watch her rustle through the fridge and start pulling stuff out. “What are you doing?” I ask her.

“I need to eat” she answers me.

“Don’t you think we need to talk?” I say.

“What’s there to talk about. Now you know. You can go back to your happy life in Boston” she says. There is no malice in her voice it’s as though that’s what she thinks I’m going to do regardless of what she says or does. It’s complete acceptance and it’s completely scary.

“Is the baby even mine?” I ask her then.

I watch as she stops mid stride and her mouth opens in shock. Shit. I curse.


Now the sky, it shines a different kind of blue
And the neighbour’s dog don't bark like he used to
Well - me, these days
I just miss you - it's the nights that I go insane
Unless you're coming back for me
That's one thing I know that won't change

“Wow, your such an asshole” I tell him quietly and then resume organizing the food in front of me for cooking.

“it’s a fair question under the circumstances” he tells me.

“oh and what circumstances are those? The one’s where you walked out on me without a word, or where you wouldn’t even let me have any contact with you” I say angrily. I’m sick of being made felt as though this is my entire fault by him.

“well considering your relationship with Brian why are you so surprised?” he asks.

“I don’t know what your talking about Max Evans but don’t you dare pretend I’m some sort of slut that was sleeping around on you” I say quietly. I’m not in the mood to argue.

“I saw you” he yells then and I halt what I’m doing and look up at him.

“What do you mean you saw me?” I ask because that is just impossible.

“That day, I came to the studio to apologize I saw the two of you kissing” he tells me angrily.

It's hard, so hard - it's tearing out my heart
It's hard letting you go

I drop the knife in my hand that I’m using to cut the vegetables up “What?” I say shocked.

“I saw you,” he says.

“Well I don’t know what you think you saw but you didn’t see me kissing him,” I say calmly. Inside I’m cursing the day Brian Hamilton was born.

“Don’t fucking lie to me, Liz” he yells then. “it’s bad enough that you didn’t come home to me on our anniversary but to find you kissing him instead” he says.

I stalk towards him then. “Your right I should have moved heaven and earth to get home that night and I regret everyday that I didn’t but don’t act as though that’s why you left you were already half way out the door weeks ago. You’d already given up on me, on us” I yell.

“No I was here Liz everyday trying to make this work, where were you?” he yells back. “Oh that’s right kissing your manager” he adds sarcastically.

“If you had trusted me enough, if you had stuck around another 5 seconds you would have seen me slap his face” I yell “I have only ever wanted to be kissing you” I cry.

“But you just fucking packed up and left. No note, nothing. You ripped out my fucking heart and you took it with you to Boston” I scream.

“Yeah well mine’s been half way across America because you took it every time you went off touring” he says back quietly.


Now some tarot card shark said I’ll draw you a heart
And we'll find you somebody else new
But I’ve made my last trip to those carnival lips
When I bet all that I had on you

She doesn’t say anything back then and I can tell right away that she’s extremely angry and upset with me.

“When we started this you said we would be fine” she whispers painfully “you said we’d get through anything as long as we were together, you promised me and then you walked out on me” she cries.

I feel my anger slip away when she reminds me of my promise. She’s right I did promise but we also promised each other a lot of other things.

“You should go,” she whispers.

It's hard, it's hard, it's hard, so hard
It's hard letting you go
It's hard, so hard, it's tearing out my heart
But it's hard letting you go

“We’re not done here” I tell her.

Walking over to her bag she retrieves something and hands it to me. When I look down I realise that it’s a picture of our baby “I’ve only ever been with you” she says painfully and then turns her back on me.

“You might not be done but I am” She says.

I stand there staring at the picture in my hand and I feel the tears slip down my face. This is my child; this is Liz’s child and mine. In this picture in my hand is every dream I’ve ever had wrapped up in a perfect Liz Parker and Max Evans package.

“I haven’t told my mum so I’d appreciate it if you could give me till tomorrow before you tell yours” she says then.

I look up from the picture and nod. “Can I have this?” I ask her.

She doesn’t look up from the chopping board but I can see she’s crying. She nods her head to my question and I realise she’s had enough so I turn and walk out the door.

TBC……..(It’s Hard) Letting You Go – Bon Jovi

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Post by Emz80m » Wed Mar 09, 2005 5:46 am

A/N: Hey everyone. Thank you so much for your feedback i really appreciate it :D

Jason's Lover
Sweet Liz

extingman -
Liz was upfront about everything her Music career would involve and he assured her he would be there for her as long as she was his. So what happen to make him stop believing in them?

Yes she was very upfront but that isnt the only issue. It was that she stopped making an effort in their relationship, stopped making time for Max when she was home.


I still don't understand why is that Liz in the first chapter thinks that all is her fault and now thinks is Max's, and the history of Brian and Liz is only that kiss or anything more?

Definetly the only time anything has ever happend.


Part 5

I don’t hail a cab and return to Isabel’s after I leave. I know I should but I have so much on my mind that I just need time to take it all in, to process it.

I’ve walked a few blocks when my cell vibrates in my pocket.

“hello” I say.

“Max, hi” the voice replies.

I smile slightly “Hey Mac” I say.

“What’s wrong, where are you?” she asks me.

I laugh a little “I’m in New York” I tell her and that says it all.

“Oh” she says.


I can tell immediately that there is something wrong. I mean I might not have known Max that long but I just get him.

When he says he’s in New York I feel my heart clench. I know who’s in New York and I know that if he’s there that something is wrong. It’s taken him months to get to where he is and I know by just talking to him now that he’s already back to where he was five months ago when he showed up in Boston.

“What are you doing there?” I ask. We had plans tonight and I was worried when he didn’t show up and I couldn’t get hold of him.

I swore to myself when Max Evans came into my life that I wouldn’t fall in love with him but I have. I knew he still loved Liz even after how badly she’s hurt him but I thought he was finally ready to move on and that was supposed to be what tonight was about, I thought he was ready to move on with me.

“She’s pregnant Mac,” he tells me quietly.

I feel all the air leave my body “What?” I say.

“She’s pregnant” he says again completely unaware how his words are breaking my heart. He knows I have feelings for him but he doesn’t know I love him. I’m just McKenzie his best friend, the girl who’s shoulder he cries on.

“is it even yours?” I blurt out. He’s told me about everything that happened between him and Liz so I have to ask.

“Yes” he answers.

“how do you know?” I ask.

“Trust me. I know” he says. “I know Liz and I know when she is lying” he tells me.

I swallow the lump in my throat and wipe the tears that have started to fall away. I hate Liz Parker I hate her with a passion. She has everything I want and she doesn’t even care about it. I hate that he knows her so well and I hate even more that she will probably always know him better than me.

“Oh” is all I can say.

“Yeah, I’m going to be a dad” he says then and he almost sounds happy about it.

“Congratulations” I say.

“Thank you” he says and I can tell he’s smiling now.

“So what are you going to do?” I find myself asking.

“Well I haven’t talked it over with Liz but I guess I’ll finish out the semester and then transfer out” he says.

“What?” I choke. He’s leaving Boston, he leaving Harvard, he’s leaving me.

“I want to know my child and if I have to move to New York for that to happen then I will” he says.

“What about Liz? When will it be her turn to compromise, Max?” I ask angrily. “I mean your talking about leaving Harvard Law” I say.


McKenzie’s anger surprised me, I mean I know Harvard is the top school there is but we’re talking about my son or daughter here. I don’t want to fight with her though.

“We haven’t talked about it yet” I say again.

She’s quiet on the other line. “When are you coming home?” she says then.

“Not for a few days at least, there is a lot of things I need to take care of” I say.

“Ok well I’ll do my best to get lecture notes for you” she offers.

‘Thanks Mac” I say. I don’t know what I would have done the past five months if it wasn’t for her. She’s been my rock.

“Just call me” she says then and she sounds upset.

“I will” I say. “Bye”

“bye” she says quietly and then the phone goes dead.

I continue on walking thinking about my telephone conversation with McKenzie as well as my earlier conversation with Liz.

Some of the things she said come back to me and I realize that she is right to some degree. I didn’t trust her, we were having problems and instead of trusting her and staying to work them out I jumped to the worst possible conclusion and left.

It’s not like I hadn’t planned it either. I promised her that I didn’t care where I went to uni as long as I was with her but in truth I did. I wanted Harvard and when Liz started spending more time on the road touring than she did in New York I began to resent that I gave up my dream to be with her when she wasn’t even around.

That’s why I reapplied. I planned on talking to her about it the night of our anniversary when she rang and told me she had been caught up at the studio. I had cooked a beautiful dinner and it was getting ruined, I was so mad at her. I yelled at her over the phone and ended up making her cry, then I hung up on her.

I had felt like shit after that so grabbed my cars keys and went to the studio but when I got there I saw her in an embrace with Brian. I didn’t stick around after that. I packed up all the things I had in our apartment and I moved out. I can’t even imagine what she felt like when she came home and found me gone. I didn’t want to know.

Now that I know that nothing happened I feel even worse but the thing is I don’t think I would have changed my decision. In a way I had already decided to go to Boston I don’t think that would have changed regardless.

I see a cab passing and hail it then, it’s getting late its time to go and face the music.


I flush the toilet again and groan. They say morning sickness is supposed to stop after about 12 weeks but I’m still experiencing it. I feel like shit this morning and I know there is no way I’m going to make it to the studio and for the first time since I started my career I don’t care. My baby is my first priority now.

After Max left I had my dinner and only then did I allow my emotions to get the better of my. I cried for everything that I had lost and why I had lost it and I didn’t stop until I was asleep.

I made some massive mistakes with Max but I was so sad and hurt to realise that he had seen the day at the studio when Brian kissed me and believed I was cheating on him. I had never in the 4 years that Max and I had been together ever wanted to be with anyone but him. What hurt most was that he didn’t know that, and he didn’t know without a doubt like I always dreamed he would, that my babies would always be his.

I remember the day everything went wrong so clearly, I relive it every time I walk into my apartment. It was our three and half years anniversary and I got caught up at the studio. I called Max to tell him I was going to be late and he got so angry with me. I wasn’t surprised I had been letting him down a lot lately. I was always on tour and when I was at home I spent more time sleeping then I did with him. I knew he was lonely but I was helpless to stop it. I wanted my dream and I didn’t care that I was walking all over his.

I had just hung up from him that night when Brian walked into the room, he saw straight away that I was upset and he offered me a hug, I was blind to the fact that he had feelings for me and before I knew it he was kissing me. Once I was realized what was happening I had pushed him off me and slapped his face. I even complained to the record company about him and he nearly got sacked over it.

I rushed out of the studio straight after but when I got home the apartment was dark. Dinner was still sitting on the beautifully decorated table with candles but when I turned the lights on and looked around I saw it.

He’d taken photo’s from some places or a lamp from here or there, but he was gone. Every touch of him that made the apartment ours was gone. He left with no note, no goodbye and no forwarding details.

After close to four years we were done without even a fight or a discussion.

I crawl back into bed and pull the covers over my head and sleep. I don’t want to think about anything today except my baby.


It’s close to ten by now and there is still no sign of Liz. I came to the studio with the rest of the gang this morning because I wanted to see her but she still isn’t here.

“Where is she?” Brian demands.

“I don’t know” Isabel says hanging up her cell, she has been trying to call her for the past half an hour and cant get through to her.

“Not good enough” Brian snaps.

“We’re almost done, and we would be if she bothered to show up. What the hell is wrong with her lately anyhow?” he says.

“I suggest you watch what you say” I warn then. I know it’s none of my business but I wont listen to him give Liz a hard time.

“Excuse me?” he says.

“You heard me” I say.

“What are you doing here anyway?” he asks and if I’m not mistaken he has a smug smile on his face.

“Today’s cancelled” I tell him then. “Liz needs the day off. She’ll be back on Monday where she’ll spend the week recording and then she’s done until August at least,” I tell them all.

I see everyone nod their head in agreement except for Brian “Who the hell do you think you are?” he asks me.

“The father of her unborn baby” I say back.

“What!” he gasps. “She’s pregnant?”

“yes and this is taking it’s toll on her. So like I said she’ll finish the album but then she’s having some much needed time off to have our baby”

“But how? you broke up” he splutters.

I allow a smile to cover my face then before walking out intending on going over to Liz’s place to check on her.


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Post by Emz80m » Sun Mar 13, 2005 6:20 am

A/N: Hi everyone. I'm sorry it's been so long since i've updated but real life is kicking my ass at the moment :shock:

Anyway, here is the next part. Thank you so much for your feedback i love reading it :!:

Jason's Lover
Sweet Liz

Part 6

I use my key to let myself into her apartment. To tell you the truth I’m surprised she still lives here. If it had been her that had walked out on me I would have had to move out.

The apartment is dark but I know my way around well enough that I don’t run into anything as I walk towards her bedroom. The bed is rumpled but she’s not in there so I walk towards the bathroom hoping to find here in there.

When I find her lying on the cold floor I immediately want to panic until she pops open her eyes and looks at me. I move towards her and I see how pale and frail she looks.

“Oh sweetie, what’s wrong?” I ask. I’m a little shocked at how easily the endearment slips off my tongue but I forget all about that when I see her small smile.

“Morning sickness” she grumbles.

“But shouldn’t that have stopped by now?” I ask. Last night when I got back to the house I borrowed Alex’s computer and did some research on the web.

“Yeah it should have, apparently I’m one of the lucky ones” she mumbles.

“Come on lets get you back to bed” I smile. She looks so cute in her tank top and panties with her expanding belly. “Can you walk?” I ask.

I see that she’s going to try but the minute she tries to sit up she pales even more.

“Stop” I say and swoop down and pick her up.

I place her in her bed and tuck her in “I’ll get you something to eat” I tell her.

“You don’t have too” she objects.

“I want to” I say.

I prepare her some chicken soup and toast and place it all on a tray before taking it to her. Nothing in the house has been changed since the last time I was here, i find it a little disturbing yet comforting at the same time. It’s easy to tell that she hasn’t tried to replace me or forget me.

“Thank You’ she sighs and quickly digs in while I watch on in amusement.

“I thought you would have gone back to Boston,” she says once she’s done.

“We have things to work through before I go anywhere” I say.

“I’m sorry I haven’t called my parents yet, I’ll do it this afternoon so you can call your parents tonight”

I nod that sounds like a good idea.

“I want to be a part of the babies life, Liz,” I tell her.

“I know” she says, “I’d hoped you would”


I was so relieved when he told me he wanted to be a part of the baby’s life, I want that so bad.

“And maybe yours” he says quietly.

I dart my eyes to his quickly, completely surprised “I want us to be able to be friends, I mean we’re going to be parents in a few months” he explains.

My heart falls but I should have known better. He doesn’t love me anymore I killed that love months ago. I had hoped when he found out the truth about Brian that maybe there would be a chance for us to work things out but with his words I have buried that last hope.

I nod “Yeah” I say sadly “that would be good”

“So what are you planning on doing?” he asks me.

I place my hands nervously in my lap “I’m going home” I say.

“What?” he asks shocked.

“I’m going home to Roswell” I tell him. I can tell immediately that he’s shocked and a little confused so I know I need to explain myself.

“I don’t want to do this alone and there are good doctors and hospitals close by to Roswell and I’ll have my mum” I tell him.

“But you wont be alone” he says.


I cant believe she plans on going back to Roswell. New York has the best medical care in the states and all of her friends are here.

When she tells me that she doesn’t want to be alone I feel my heart clench.

“But you wont be alone” I say to her.

“Max, you have school, and you live in Boston” she tells me.

Yes, I do have school she is right about that and I cant just blow it off indefinitely but the semester will be over by the time the baby is due if my calculations are correct.

“Well school will be done before your due date and I thought I could move back to New York and we’d have the entire summer to visit Roswell after that” I tell her. I have thought a lot about this.

She’s biting her lower lip “But what about all the classes and things I have to do before that, I mean you won’t be here for any of those. You could just fly back to Roswell for the birth” she says.

“What are you planning on doing after the baby is born?” I ask her then. I’m praying that she isn’t going to tell me that she is considering staying in Roswell. I know I only just found out about my baby but I cant be that far away from him or her.

“I don’t know,” she says.

“You can’t tour with the baby, Liz,” I tell her.

I can tell right away that I’ve said the wrong thing “is that what you think I’d do. Just dump the baby on you and go on tour,” she says with tears pricking her eyes.

“I don’t know, you tell me?” I ask her. I mean in the past she hasn’t cared what she has missed or given up to get to the top and I wonder if that is going to change now. I wont be dumped with the baby when it suits her, if she doesn’t plan on being a full time mum then I think she should give me full custody.

“Why are we doing this?” she cries then. “We cant be parents if that’s what you think of me” she cries. “God” she says and wipes at the tears.

I close my eyes in pain. What I just did was totally unfair.

“I’m sorry that was harsh,” I say.

“Yeah Max it was. You know what? I’m here having this baby. Where have you been?” she says angrily and I wont deny that hurts.

“I would have been here if I’d known and you know that” I tell her.

“No I don’t and I don’t want you here just for that either” she says then.

“What?” I asked confused.

“Don’t be here because you feel you have to. I’m more than capable of looking after this baby on my own Max I was planning on it being that way anyway,” she tells me.

I hop off the bed and stalk to the door. I want to leave before I say something I’ll regret.

“The only reason I’m not here is because you pushed me out,” I whisper.

“There was no pushing. I might have taken you for granted and I realise what a big mistake that was now but you had already detached, if not you wouldn’t have been able to walk away so easily,” she says.

“I thought you were cheating on me,” I yell.

“I would never cheat on you,” she says “I love you,” she tells me and those three words stop me in my tracks. I haven’t heard those words from her mouth in six months and they are painful and soul soaring at the same time.

“It didn’t feel that way,” I whisper painfully.

“What?” she says.

“It didn’t feel like you loved me anymore” I say.

“God” she shakes her head “I know I fucked up so bad. I never knew it was going to be so hard or that I was going to be away so much, I didn’t make enough effort to make it work and I regret that so much .I’m so sorry.” she tells me. “But it never changed the way I felt about you, I never wanted to loose you” she cries.

I nod my head. I believe her because I never wanted to loose her either.

“But it changed me” I finally tell her.

She nods her acceptance. “Yeah I got that message loud and clear” she says a little bitterly.

“What did you expect?” I ask her “ that I would sit around and wait for you to realise our relationship was falling apart so you could come home and fix it” I ask because if that’s the case then she’s deluded.

“I thought you loved me enough that you’d stay. I only needed another week and it was all over, I was home for good,” she says. “You applied for Harvard and accepted months before and you never said a word,” she tells me.

I’m lost for words. She knew?

“How?” I asked shocked.

“I came home and saw the letters,” she says. “I waited for you to tell me and you never did, god I don’t even know why I was surprised when I came home and found you gone.”

“I couldn’t stay any longer,” I whisper “I would have ended up hating you,” I admit. Believe me I was close.

She sits quietly for a few minutes contemplating my words; they hurt her, a lot.

My phone starts ringing then and I look down and realise its McKenzie. I look between my phone and Liz feeling like I’m being made make a decision without any words. But I know without a doubt that the two women in my life are not going to get along when they come together.

I send the phone call to message bank.

“I can’t give up completely,” she says.


“I can’t give up completely. If I give up we’ll loose the record deal and where would that leave Michael, Maria and Alex?” she says.

I know she’s right and I also know that she would never be happy giving up completely.

“But I plan on taking at least a year off from touring and when I have to go back I plan on taking the baby and a nanny with me. I also don’t intend on going away for longer than a week, two at the most,” she says.

I move back to the bed and sit down next to her “You’ve thought about this a lot haven’t you?”

“Yes” she tells me and then she looks up at me

I look at her then and I see for the first time how scared and lost she is and I cant blame her because she’s been all alone “Will you come to Boston with me?” I find myself asking.

“W-What?” she says shocked.

“Instead of going to Roswell, come to Boston” I tell her.

I can tell she’s thinking it over which has to be a good sign. I expected her to say no straight away.

“Okay” she whispers.

“Okay?” I ask.

“You’ve put things on hold long enough for me, it’s time for me to do that for you” she tells me.

“Can you do this?” I ask her seriously. I don’t want her making promises she cant keep.

I watch as she nods her head ‘After this week the recording is done so after that there is nothing keeping me in New York and I can still do all the classes we need to take with you in Boston” she says.

“That would be great,” I tell her with a small smile “You can stay with me of course” I tell her quickly.

“Is that a good idea?” she asks.

“Of course it is. I want to be able to look after you,” I say.

“Ok” she smiles and it’s the first real smile I’ve seen from her in days.

“How long are we talking though? I mean your going to have to be back here eventually right?” I say.

“A year is another two semesters for you at Harvard” she shrugs “you only have one more after that don’t you?” she asks.

“Yep” I confirm.

“I might have to commute a little but that’s manageable” she shrugs.

I reach and take her hand “We’re going to get through this and we’re going to be great parents” I tell her confidently.

“I hope so,” she cries.

I leave her then so that she can call and talk to her parents. I told her I would organize some things so that we can get some of her stuff shipped to Boston. I want her with me as quickly as possible so that we can get everything for the baby sorted out. There is so much to do over the next three months.

TBC........see you in a few days, i have plenty of parts written just have to find the time to update

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Post by Emz80m » Wed Mar 16, 2005 7:01 am

A/N: Hi everyone, thank you so much for the great feedback i really appreicate it :D

Jason's Lover
Sweet Liz
Believer - Sorry!

Part 7

It’s been quite the weekend but for the first time since I found out I was pregnant I actually feel like everything is going to be ok.

Our parents took the news fairly well. At first they were both upset that we were having a baby when we weren’t even together anymore and that I had kept it from them for so long, but when they realised that we were both in this together they were all extremely happy. They can’t wait to become grandparents and my mum and Diane are already planning a trip to Boston to take me shopping for everything I need.

The gang also took the news well. I thought they would be upset that I was moving to Boston with Max, and Maria and Alex had been at first. But when I sat down and explained to them my reasons they both supported me 100%. In fact they’re all tossing up the idea of moving to Boston too.

So this morning I’m back in the studio while Max is packing up my apartment. I decided to sub let it so I didn’t loose it. Max wanted me to let it go saying that it wouldn’t be big enough for me to move into once the baby way born anyway but there are too many memories for me to let go yet. That was the first place Max and I lived together and it was where our baby was conceived, there is too much emotion involved.

“Okay guys we have eleven tracks but we still need one more” Brian tells us.

It’s been awkward all morning being around Brian. Max told me about what happened a couple of days earlier and he has been looking at me strangely all day. One thing I will not miss about taking time off is having to deal with Brian. In fact I’m going to insist when we come back after the year that we get a new manager.

“Ok” Michael nods. “What type of song do we need?” he asks.

“Well you have a fair few up beat songs so it would be nice to finish it off with something slow” he suggested.

“Ok what have we got, Liz?” Alex asks me.

I sit down at the piano and my fingers start gliding as I begin to sing.

Six thoughts at once I can't focus on one
Seven days a week but my life has just begun
So caught in emotion and I'm overcome
As I'm falling down I come undone

Sometimes I feel like I'm alone
Sometimes I feel like I'm not that strong
Sometimes I feel so frail so small
Sometimes I feel vulnerable
Sometimes I feel a little fragile
A little fragile

In six thousand years what will this mean
Words from the heart or a melody
So caught in emotion and I'm overcome
As I'm falling down I come undone

Sometimes I feel like I'm alone
Sometimes I feel like I'm not that strong
Sometimes I feel nothing at all
Sometimes I feel vulnerable
Sometimes I feel a little fragile
A little fragile

If people can see right through my eyes
like an open door that I can't disguise
I won't be afraid from the tears I cry
I'll not run I'll not hide this is how I feel inside
A little fragile
A little fragile

Sometimes I feel like I'm alone
Sometimes I feel like I'm not that strong
Sometimes I feel so frail so small
Sometimes I feel vulnerable
Sometimes I feel a little fragile

By the time I’m done Maria and Isabel both have tears in there eyes. They can both see how much of me and what I’ve been feeling without Max that I’ve poured into this song.

“Perfect” Brian says. “Lets get it down,” he tells us.


We spend the next three days recording it and by the time Thursday comes I’m done.

We have to have a meeting with our agent and the record company and I actually ask Max to come with us. We don’t want to involve our lawyer unless we have to and I’m pretty sure that the good contracts we got drawn up for the latest record we’re recording is solid. But if we need a little legal advice having Max there will help.

“Okay guys” Jerry smiles as us. “You will have some publicity requirements when we release the record but the record company is pretty happy with the rest of the band taking care of that, Liz” he tells me.

“Thank you” I sigh in relief I was really worried this might have become a hassle.

“No problem that’s why we worked out the deal we did” he smiles.

“So can I ask what you’ll be doing?” he says then.

“I’m actually leaving for Boston tomorrow” I say.

He nods “well keep in touch” he says.

“I will”

“Well that went well,” Max says as we leave the office with the rest of the gang.

“Yeah thank god,” I say.

“So are we going out tonight?” Maria asks.

“Yeah the last hoorah till we join you guys in Boston?” Isabel says.

I turn around quickly “what did you just say?”

“Our last hoorah until we join you in Boston” she smiles.

“Oh My God” I squeal and her, Maria and I hug.

“I can’t believe you guys are moving for me,” I say tearily. Damn these hormones.

“We’re family” Michael tells me.

‘Yep” Alex agrees, “Where you are, we wont be far away as long as we can help it” he says. We all hug awkwardly in the middle of the street and I notice that Max is standing awkwardly to the side just watching so I reach out for his hand and pull him to us.

“I can’t wait till we’re all back together” Isabel says and we all agree because it just hasn’t been the same without Max.


Liz stays with me at the house with the rest of the gang that night. We’ve packed all her stuff and had as much as we can of it shipped to Boston. The rest we’ve put in storage and the others will bring it when they move out in a couple of months. They all want to be settled in Boston by the time Liz has the baby and I can tell straight away that the year off is going to do them all good.

Alex and Isabel are both going to enroll in university while Michael is going to do his art. The only one without a solid plan is Maria but I think she’ll end up spending a lot of her time with Liz anyhow.

It’s a teary goodbye at the airport even though we’ll see each other again in a couple of weeks. The girls are planning on coming out to do the whole shopping thing with our mums when they come and the guys are coming to check out the uni and art schools.

“Are you ok?” I ask Liz as we sit on the plane. I know she’s nervous I’ve been getting the vibe from her for days.

“Yeah, are you sure it’s ok for me to live with you?” she asks me again for the tenth time this week.

My apartment is actually a two bedroom so for a few months the space will be perfect since I live by myself. Eventually we’ll have to get something bigger so the baby can have its own room but for now everything is fine. I haven’t spoken to anyone from Boston yet, not even McKenzie knows I’m bringing Liz back with me. I know I should have rung her but I’ve been so busy with Liz and helping her pack that I haven’t had a chance.

“I told you it’s fine” I say and reach out to take her hand, I know she hates flying.

She nods and closes her eyes and I sigh in relief when she’s fallen asleep. The baby has been kicking up a storm on her in the past couple of days and it’s been keeping her up. She’s exhausted and this nap will do her good.

We land four hours later and I contemplate calling McKenzie to come and get us but decide it’s not the best way to introduce her and Liz to each other so we catch a cab for the 30 minute drive to my apartment.

I watch happily as Liz smiles when we walk in.

“It’s nice,” she tells me. Most of the apartment is done in chocolate browns and I have pictures of the whole group scattered around the apartment as well as one of her and me on the mantel that I haven’t been able to bring myself to take down yet. I notice that here eyes settle on the photo and she smiles.

“I don’t have a bed in the spare room so you can take mine tonight until yours arrives tomorrow” I tell her.

“Where will you sleep?” she asks me.

“The couch” I shrug.

“No Max I’m not going to kick you out of your bed” she objects.

“Liz your hardly in a condition to sleep on the couch” I say reasonably.

“Well we can just share,” she tells me.

I hesitate for a second not sure if that’s a good idea but the prospect of sleeping on the couch compared to next to her soft body is not appealing.

“Ok” I relent.

I look at the clock and see it’s almost dinnertime and decide that it’s time for a trip to the grocery store.

“Do you want to stay here?” I ask when I tell her where I’m going.

“Yeah I might unpack a few things and have a shower,” she says.

“Ok” I smile “I wont be long”


Max’s place is beautiful and the bathroom is massive. I eye off the big tub in the middle of the room and consider having a bath but in the end decide on a shower instead. I wash my hair and do my best job at shaving my legs and it feels good after the long plane ride.

I throw on my silk robe and wrap the towel around my head when I hear a knock on the door. I assume it’s Max and his hands are full so I rush to the door and open it quickly.

“What the hell” the person on the other side says shocked. They obviously weren’t expecting me to be the one answering the door.

I look at the girl on the other side of the door and offer her a small smile. I’m not sure who she is but obviously she is a friend of Max’s. She has short blonde hair and brown piercing eyes. She is pretty in a unique kind of way and I can tell she is a lot like Maria straight away by the fire in her eyes.

“Hi you must be looking for Max,” I say.

Her eyes are looking me over and I see them drift down to my stomach and I wrap my arms around myself in an effort to protect myself.

“You must be Liz,” she finally says and I’m shocked that she knows who I am and realize that my first assumption was right and she is a friend of Max’s. I’m also surprised that he would have mentioned me to anyone considering the way he feels about me now.

“Yeah” I confirm.

“Did you want to come in?” I ask her. I’m still waiting for her to offer me her name or even a small smile but it isn’t forthcoming. I can tell instantly she doesn’t like me.


When I run into John and he tells me that he saw Max I decide to rush over there straight away. I haven’t heard from him in close to a week and I want to find out what happened between him and Liz. I know I’m sounding desperate but I need to see him to know how much damage the trip to New York and finding out about the baby has done to him.

I don’t expect what I find when I get there though. I can tell right away that it’s Liz when she opened the door wearing nothing but a robe and a towel. I cant see the famous hair that Max always raves about but I can see the tell tale signs that she’s pregnant and that hurts more than I expected but then again I didn’t bargain on ever meeting her.

“Did you want to come in?” she asks me and I want to tell her I don’t need her permission that this is Max’s place and I can come in whenever I feel like it but I bite my tongue and ask instead.

“Where’s Max?”

“Oh he just went to grab some groceries,” she says nervously. I can tell I’m making her uncomfortable and I’m glad.

I nod and decide to take up her offer of coming in and walk straight past her and into the apartment where I make myself comfortable. I want her to know I know my way around and just because she’s here it doesn’t mean I’m going anywhere.

“Um excuse me I’m just going to get dressed. Max shouldn’t be too long,” she says quietly and she disappears into Max’s room.

I watch as she goes and I envy her gracefulness. I knew she was beautiful from the photos and the way Max describes her but it’s another thing to see it up close. Liz Parker is a classic beauty and the total opposite of me.


I kick the door open to the apartment my arms full of groceries and walk in. I only get a few steps when I see the blonde hair of my best friend.

“Hey” I say.

“Hi” she replies and I can tell right away that she’s angry with me. I can also tell that she has a chip on her shoulder the size of Boston and I know that it probably meant bad news for Liz.

I walk past her and put the bags on the counter before making my way back into the living room.

“Where’s Liz?” I ask her.

“In your room” she replies sarcastically and I sigh. There is almost no point talking to her when she’s like this.

“Look I’m sorry I didn’t call you but I just had so much going on,” I tell her.

“Apparently” she says bitterly.

I run my hand through my hair. “Don’t I get a hug?” I ask and even though she tries to hide it I see the corners of her mouth turn up slightly.

I take a step towards her and she stands up and rushes into my arms. McKenzie isn’t a touchy feely person by nature so I’m a little surprised by the eagerness.

“I missed you,” she whispers.

I feel myself tense a little because I know that she wants something more from me than friendship and I know that because of that she is never going to accept Liz.

My life just got very complicated.

I pull back “Me too” I smile.


I take deep breaths and try to get my swirling emotions under control before I go back out there. When she first came to the door I thought nothing of it but it’s obvious from the way she was towards me and the conversation I just heard out in the living room while I was eavesdropping that whoever the blonde is outside that she’s important to Max. More important than me.

I finally pull a loose pair of sweats and an old shirt of Max’s out of my bag and put them on. I don’t like the way she kept looking at me and I just want to cover myself from the hatred in her eyes.

I sit down on the bed and try to calm myself down. I cant go out there yet I’m not ready to see the love in his eyes that he has for her. I’m not ready to see how much he has really moved on.

TBC……… Fragile – Delta Goodrem

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Post by Emz80m » Fri Mar 18, 2005 6:54 am

A/N: Hi everyone, thank you so much for your feedback. I'm back with a new part.

I found some of the feedback interesting, it had a similar theme so i hate to inform you all that Mac isnt going anywhere any time soon :o

con angel
Jason's Lover
Ellie - hmm intereting
g7silvers - interesting, you could be on to something there

Part 8

I look at the closed door to my bedroom and wonder what is taking Liz so long.

McKenzie is looking at me suspiciously and I’m waiting for the questions to start.

“What is she doing here?” she finally asks. “I mean I thought you were done with her why would you bring her here?” she cries. Finally another emotion other than hate I just wish she had waited until Liz wasn’t in the next room and able to hear everything.

“Now is not the time” I tell her.

“When will be?” she asks angrily.

I look back to the door. “I’m going to see what’s taking her so long” I say.

“Yeah go ahead” she says sarcastically “I mean she’s only been in Boston half a day and she already has you running around after her”

I am a little taken back by the bitterness in her voice; she doesn’t know anything about Liz or me so I don’t appreciate her mouth. I bite back my angry comment though because I realise it’s jealousy speaking and instead shoot her with a glare before walking to the bedroom door and knocking lightly. There is no answer so I go in anyway.

I find her sitting on the bed her head in her hands “Hey are you ok?” I ask.

She looks up from her hands and I can see the tears in her eyes. “Why would you bring me here?” she whispers painfully.

“Sorry?” I ask confused.

“Why would you bring me here if you had a girlfriend?” she asks.

I realise straight away that she has the wrong idea “Liz, she isn’t my girlfriend”

“Well she’s obviously something to you,” she says, “because a friend wouldn’t act that way” she tells me.

She’s right.

“Hey just come back out I want to introduce you properly and we can discuss the rest later. She wont bite I promise” I say.

She nods and takes my offered hand and I lead her out into the living room.


When he comes out holding her hand I want to scream. After everything that she has put him through he’s just going to take her back like it doesn’t matter.

So what if she’s pregnant. Plenty of people have children together without being together.

“Liz this is one of my very close friends here in Boston, McKenzie Taylor. McKenzie this is Liz Parker” she says.

“Hi” she says, “It’s nice to meet you” I wish I could say the same.

“So Liz, how long are you planning on staying in Boston?” I ask. If Max isn’t going to answer my questions I’ll ask Liz.

I see her look at Max a little confused “Um indefinitely” she says and my mouth falls open.

“Indefinitely?” I ask looking at Max to which he nods his head.

I close my eyes trying to stop the tears that are threatening to fall. I’m not a crier but over the past week I’ve cried quite a bit because of Max Evans and Liz Parker.

“I have to go,” I say and without another word I walk out his apartment.


I watch as the blonde flees the apartment and when she’s gone I sit down on the couch. I watch Max rake a hand through his hair in frustration. Apparently that didn’t go so well.

“Nice friend you’ve got there” I say quietly.

“Please don’t, Liz. I don’t need this attitude from you too” he says.

“Yeah well maybe you should have thought about that before you invited your ex-girlfriend to live with you without talking it over with you girlfriend first” I reply.

“I told you she isn’t my girlfriend” he sighs.

“Well your fuck buddy, whatever she is” I snap.

I watch as he stairs at me and I feel myself squirm under his gaze

“Jealousy was never a good look on you, Liz” he smirks.

“Your such a bastard” I hiss.

“Not that it’s any of your business Liz but I’m not sleeping with her, she’s just a friend,” I tell her.

“It is my business when she comes in here and acts like I’m the enemy” I cry.

“As far as she’s concerned you are. You represent every reason why I’m not with her,” he tells me.

I stop then. He’s not with her and it’s because of me and I cant help but feel relieved that he hasn’t been able to move on either.

“She’s in love with you” I say.

He shakes his head “no, no she’s not” he denies.

I chuckle a little then “Yes Max she is. I know what a women in love with you looks like” I say and I watch as my words make him stop his fidgeting.

“Don’t,” he says.

“Don’t what?” I say.

“I’m not ready to talk about us like that,” he admits.

“Yeah well I’m not ready for us to be over but I didn’t get much choice in that” I whisper and then standing up I make my way into the kitchen and begin going through the bags of groceries and start putting things away in the fridge.

I assume he’s still sitting in the same place because he hasn’t moved but after a few more minutes I hear the apartment door open and close quietly.

It takes me about ten minutes to find where he keeps everything but eventually I put everything away except the things he bought for the homemade pizza. I smile when I see it because this used to be his favorite meal and the two of us would cook it together.

I spend the next half an hour cooking it and singing quietly to the CD in the player. I’m startled when it changes and I hear my own voice over the CD.

“Hey baby” I giggle “I know this is totally lame but I wanted you to be able to hear my voice anytime you liked. Anyway, Happy Anniversary” I say. “This has been the happiest two years of my life, I love you so much” I hear the pause and I remember clearly that I had a hard time not crying when I made this for him.

“You’re the best thing in my life, did you know that?” I ask him.


When I leave the apartment I walk to the park near by and take a seat on the bench. I’m on there a couple of minutes when a shadow casts on me, I look up and find Mac.

“Hi” I say.

She sits down beside me.

“So after everything you’ve been through you just take her back?” she asks.

I sigh. “We’re not back together, far from it actually” I tell her because right now I’m not even sure Liz and I are friends. We’re in between this place that it not quite love and not quite friendship.

“Then why is she back at your apartment indefinitely?” she asks.

I feel my anger flare a little then. I feel like a five year old who is being lectured by their mother.

“because she’s seven months pregnant and was completely alone in New York” I tell her. “I want her near me so I can look after her and my child”

“Alone, what happened to Brian?” she asks sarcastically. Like I said, way too much attitude.

I feel my heart constrict “There is no Brian, there never was” I say quietly.

“What do you mean?” she asks.

“She was never cheating on me ok? What I saw the day at the studio was him kissing her nothing more” I say angrily.

“Oh” she whispers.

Obviously she finds the news as shocking as me “what does that mean now for the two of you?” she asks. Nearly every reason I left my heart is New York is gone, there was never a Brian and right now there is no music.

“I don’t know” I say truthfully.

“Your still in love with her aren’t you?” she asks me then.

I don’t answer her. “I have to go” I say then and with out another word I stand up and make my way back to the apartment.

I walk back into the apartment quietly but I immediately freeze when I hear it.

“I don’t want a day to ever go by where I don’t get to tell you how much you mean to me and how happy I am that your mine” her voice says.

Then the song that I cried myself to sleep with for four months strums through my apartment.

Don’t be confused by my apparent
Lack of ceremony
My mind is clear
I may be low or miles high off in the distance
I want you near

I love you
Even when I’m sleeping
When I close my eyes
You’re everywhere

And if they take me flying
On the magic carpet
Send me away
If our communication
Fails to reach connection
I want to you to know

I love you
Even when I’m sleeping
When I close my eyes
Your everywhere

No matter where the road is leading
Must remember
Don’t be afraid
We have this continent that
Sometimes comes between us
That’s ok

I love you
Even when I’m sleeping
When I close my eyes
You’re everywhere

When I close my eyes
You’re everywhere

I want to run and turn it off but before I can force my body to move my eyes lock with hers. She’s openly crying now and it doesn’t take long before I join her. I walked away before because I knew I was about to completely loose it and I’m not ready for that. But now I have no choice.

I know it then without a doubt. I love her, I’m still heart breakingly head over heals in love with her but I’m not ready to give her my heart again.

She puts her head down then and starts rushing towards the bedroom and before I know it my feet are moving and I’m sweeping her into my arms before she can disappear on me.

We sink down onto the ground with her crying against my chest and I’m crying against her head.

“I’m sorry” she whispers, “I’m so sorry” she cries.

TBC……..Even When Your Sleeping – Leanardo’s Bride

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Post by Emz80m » Sun Mar 20, 2005 6:03 am

A/N: Hi everyone, thanks for the wonderful feedback i really appreciate it :D

did you replace Tess the whore by Mac the bitch or what?
Haha i could see where you might think that but no, Mac is a genuine friend who tried to fight her feelings for Max but in the end she could help but love him. It's easy for her to be angry and bitchy to Liz than to admit that Max doesnt feel the same.


I can honestly say I don't like this Max. He took things for appearance and walked away from Liz without any explanation or giving Liz any chance to expain herself. When he finally learns the truth he acts like he's unwilling to forgive her when it's actually not Liz's fault.

He wants to be part of his child's life. He knows how hard it is for Liz. He acts like he doesn't love her and has moved on. Knowing she still loves him and yet keeping her at arms length. He wants his cake and ice cream too.
Yes Max walked away but there was more to it than the fact that he thought Liz cheated. Liz gave up trying to make their relationship work, Max just kept getting shoved down a long list her of priorities so you can understand why he jumped to the conclusion he did, and his need to follow his own dreams instead of living Liz's life.

Max never pretends to have moved on, he is still really hurt and very much in love with Max dont doubt that.

- Max is unwilling at the moment because he doesnt believe that Liz's life is going to change. He is still hurt about how they're relationship fell apart and it's going to take a while for him to trust that Liz wants to be with him and put their relationship before a career.

Jason's Lover
- I dont think Max ever doubted Liz feelings but he doubted her commitment to their relationship. It wasnt just about cheating it was about her taking him and their relationship for granted.

Bixie - see comment above for g7silvers

Part 9

It’s been almost a week since I moved to Boston and I wont deny that it’s been hard. After the night Max and I broke down in each others arms things have been a little better between us. We still haven’t said the things we need to say but now I at least feel as though we might be able to do this whole parent thing together after all.

I’m waiting for him to get home from uni so we can head out to our class. Tonight is out first birthing class and I’m both excited and nervous all at the same time.

I’m sitting on the lounge reading one the books I got on parenting when the door opens. I look up expecting to see Max coming through but instead it’s McKenzie and she walks straight in and makes herself at home.

“Um hi” I say shocked.

“Hi” she says walking straight past me. She goes straight to the dinning room table and begins taking books out.

“Where’s Max?” she asks.

“Not back from classes yet, what are you doing?” I ask her.

“What does it look like” she says sarcastically.

Shaking my head I stand up and start to move towards the phone to call Max, this is getting beyond a joke. Who does this girl think she is. She’s not Max’s girlfriend, they’re not sleeping together so what is her problem?.


I’m running completely late so when I enter the apartment I expect to just throw my bag inside and grab Liz so we can leave.

“I’m sorry” I apologize. “I got caught up with one of the professors about catching up what I missed.”

“it’s ok” she smiles “but we have another problem” she whispers and then nods in Mac’s direction.

McKenzie is sitting at the dinning room table with her books out staring at me expectantly.

“Your late” she smiles “but I’ll forgive you this time” she smiles again.

Shit, I curse its Wednesday night.

“McKenzie I’m sorry I completely forgot. Liz and I have our first birthing class tonight” I explain. I expect her to completely understand but it’s clear she doesn’t when she glares at Liz.

“but we study and eat pizza every Wednesday night” she says as though she doesn’t see the point.

“I know but Wednesday night was the only night we could get into the classes so quickly” I explain and I can see Liz tense in agitation at why we need to explain it to her anyway.

“Whatever” she snaps

She begins packing up her stuff and Liz goes to get her bag and the pillow they tell you to bring. We follow her out and I help Liz into the jeep. I can see McKenzie standing on the footpath watching us as we drive down the road and I curse what my life has come to.


“Are you okay?” I ask Liz on the drive home. The first class was intense, they make you watch videos on child birth and they were a little disturbing.

“Yeah” she says. “Um so my stuff arrived today” she tells me.

“Great how about we move it in?” I suggest.

“That would be great I thought we could use the lounge and TV we bought together” she suggests.

“I love that lounge” I tell her.

“Me too” she grins.

We remain silent for the rest of the drive until we reach the apartment “Max, could you do me a favour?” she asks.

“Sure” I say.

“I think I need to buy a car, would you take me?” she says.

She’s right. Bob is not an ideal car for a baby and I need it to run back and forth to campus.

“Sure I finish at two tomorrow so how about we go and have a look then, do you know what you want?” I ask.

“Yep” she grins .

“Ok” I say.

That night I successfully move most of the furniture into the house. Liz tries to help so I have to make her sit down on a number of occasions. She puts up some more photos of the group and a couple of photos of the two us which I don’t object too.

They mean a lot to me too and if I had copies of them they would have already been up. So looking around the apartment now it looks like our place again, instead of just mine and all the heavy lifting and hard work is worth it just to see the look of happiness on Liz’s face.


I’m standing outside Max’s door with a tub of our favorite ice cream in my hand and a spoon. I’ve been standing here for a couple of minutes now not sure if I should knock or not. It’s not late but he might be busy or something.

In the end I just take a chance and knock.

“Come in” he calls out and looks up from a book he’s reading and smiles at me.

“Ice cream?” I ask holding up the tub. I watch his eyes grow wide before he starts nodding his head like a five year old.

“Come here” he says patting the spot next to him on the bed.

I climb up next to him and he shifts too so that we’re close together. I only brought one spoon so he takes it and starts scooping ice cream for me. We take turns licking it and it feels like old times for a while.

“Thanks” I smile.

“I should be thanking you” he says. “this is my favorite” he tells me.

“I know it’s my favorite too remember” I tell him.

“So what are you reading?” I ask him. He holds the book up for me to see and I realise it’s the parenting book I just finished and I smile.

“It’s good” I tell him.

“Yeah there is some interesting stuff” he replies.

We eat some more ice cream before I finally ask him “Are you excited?” I say.

“About the baby?” he asks.

I nod. We haven’t really talked about whether or not he’s happy that I’m pregnant I understand that under the circumstances it’s not ideal but I wouldn’t change it for the world.

“Yes, I can’t wait” he tells me with a massive grin. “I wish we didn’t have to wait for our mothers to go out and get all the stuff we need and I’m sorry I missed all the sonograms” he admits.

I smile then “We don’t” I tell him “whenever you want to go shopping we can and I will have another scan closer to my due date.” I assure him.

The thing we have to remember is that this is about us. Sure it’s great that our parents are coming and will insist on paying for every thing but we have to do what works best for us. Money isn’t a problem so if Max wants to pick out every thing himself for our baby then I support him 100%.

“Ok” he smiles. He reaches a hand down and places it on my stomach but the fabric of his shirt gets in his way. “No wonder I have hardly any clothes left” he grumbles and I laugh. I did end up with quite a lot of his shirts.

“Can I?” he asks gesturing to my stomach so I reach down and pulls it up and he places his hand on my stomach. The baby moves slightly causing Max to grin “Did you feel that?” he asks.

“Yes” I laugh.

“it doesn’t hurt does it?” he asks me.

“No I love it” I tell him.

That night I fall asleep in bed with Max’s arms wrapped around me and his hand resting on my stomach and it’s the best night sleeps I’ve had in months.

TBC....see you in a few

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Post by Emz80m » Wed Mar 23, 2005 6:59 am

A/N: Thanks for the wonderful feedback guys i really appreicate it. I know your all frustrated with Mac and Max but please stick with me :D

con angel
Jason's Lover
Veronic B
Rhbadcat - thanks
HBGO - oh really i love it too and am planning on having at my wedding this year
Littleone - there not married but your right, it is a hard situation which is why Max is being patient

Part 10

I’m getting excited as I wait for Max this afternoon. I can’t wait to get my own car. Even though in my condition I cant go anywhere far I look forward to just having the freedom to get out of the apartment whenever I want to.

I haven’t seen much of Boston since I got here and I wouldn’t mind taking in the sights of Cambridge sometime soon.

I’ve been doing some cooking today. I got a little bored earlier this morning and decided to make some cookies. I’m just finishing them off when I hear the security door shaking.

Walking into the living room I see McKenzie standing at the door scowling because she can’t get in. “It’s locked” I tell her.

“Why?” she asks.

“Because I don’t like people just walking in” I inform her walking over to the door.

I open the lock and she pushes straight past me and walks into the apartment “By all means come in” I say sarcastically.

“I don’t need your permission” she smirks.

“Is that so. Well this is where I live and I say you do” I bite back. I’ve had enough of the blonde acting as though I’m dirt she cleaned off her shoe.

She smiles smugly at me then “This is Max’s apartment” she says then.

“Well since you’re here take a look around” I say “See this” I say pointing to the lounge and then the TV “these are ours from New York” I tell her “and those photos” I point at the wall “are all mine. So all this stuff says that I live here so whilst you’re in my apartment you should respect me” I say.


When I hear Liz’s raised voice as I walk through the door I’m instantly on alert. I know McKenzie is somehow the reason that her voice is tense because she’s the only person I know who is able to push Liz’s buttons like that. It’s not good for Liz or the baby to be getting upset like that.

“Hi, what’s going on?” I ask as I stroll in.

McKenzie smiles at me and walks towards me “Hey stranger I thought we could shoot some hoops or hang out?” she tells me her arms coming around me and pulling me into a hug.

I watch Liz shake her head and walk into the kitchen and I know I can’t let this situation continue for much longer.

“Hi” I say taking a step back.

“So what do you think?” she says.

“Sounds good but maybe later tonight ok” I tell her.

Her smile slowly turns into a frown “Why?”

“Because I promised to take Liz somewhere” I tell her.

She shakes her head “it’s always about her isn’t it” she whispers.

“No it’s not” I say. “but this time it is, maybe you should call and make plans with me next time instead of just showing up and getting the shits when I tell you I’m busy” I say then.

Over the past week she has showed up more times on my door step without an invitation then she had in the five months prior to that. I know she’s feeling threatened by Liz being here, that she doesn’t like her being around but I cant help that and I definitely cant continue to be pulled the way I am. Right now I’m just lucky that Liz isn’t putting pressure on me as well.

“Right, well I didn’t think I had to ring” she tells me.

“You don’t but you can’t show up here and get all pissy when I have plans” I say.

Liz comes out of the kitchen then and I can tell she’s ready to tell me not to worry about it.

“You ready?” I ask her.

“Oh yeah sure” she says picking up her bag and I can tell she’s surprised that I’m not pulling out on her but I don’t want to break any more promises to her anymore.

“You might need a jacket” I tell her she’s not used to the weather here in Boston yet and I don’t want her to catch a cold.

She holds up the jacket in her other hand with a smile.

“Where are you going?” McKenzie asks.

“Car shopping” I say.

“Oh great I love cars” she smiles and I turn to Liz with a look of horror on my face. I can tell straight away that Liz realizes I didn’t invite her, she just shrugs her shoulders at me in defeat.


I just choose to ignore the fact that McKenzie is in the back seat of the jeep chatting away with Max when she wasn’t even invited on our trip in the first place.

I realize that since she’s Max’s friend that she obviously has some good qualities but she’s not doing herself any favors. She reminds me of Tess except for the fact that I hate her more than I ever did Tess and that’s saying a lot. The worst part is I don’t feel threatened by her at all. I know I should, I know she has feelings for Max but she is in no way Max’s type and if he was interested in her he would have gotten together with her by now.

Also, Max isn’t the type of guy who would get involved with another women while I was having his baby and I can tell that Mac’s behavior is starting to get to him as much as it is me.

“So anyway I told him he was wrong there is no way it happened in California” she tells Max.

I’ve only been half listening to what she was saying but I know enough to know she’s wrong.

“Your wrong” I tell her.

“Excuse me” she says shocked.

“Your wrong it happened in California” I say.

I can see Max’s smirk but he quickly bites down on it.

“And you’d know this how?” she asks sarcastically. I don’t like the condescending way she’s looking at me right now.

“Because I read it in the text book, maybe you should try doing that next time before shooting your mouth off” I say.

Her mouth falls open in shock and she turns to Max “She’s right” he confirms looking at her in the review mirror. “We read it in the reading assignment the other night while Liz was helping me study” he informs her.

I smile when I see her slump back in her seat “How could Liz be any help to you studying law?” she asks then and that was a wrong move. I see Max tense. He hates it when people insult my intelligence.

“Actually Liz is extremely smart. In fact she’s a straight A student and was valedictorian of our high school ahead of me, not to mention the fact that she also got accepted to Harvard” he tells her.

“Just because I’m in a band doesn’t mean I’m stupid” I add

“why would someone that got accepted to Harvard turn it down” she says as though Harvard is the be all and end all of the world. I hate school snobs and I’m shocked that she’s one of them and I guess then that’s she probably a trust fund baby as well.

“Well Harvard accepts about 3,000 people a year and only about 250 people in America get offered a record deal” I say. “I can go to Harvard when ever I want to it’s not going anywhere” I shrug to which Max smiles.

“besides you’d be so bored” he tells me.

“yeah I know” I smile back.


When we pull up at the dealership Max helps me out of the jeep and follows me to the car I want. It’s the same car, just a new model of the Mazda 3 my parents bought me for my 18th. I sold it a year or so ago because we never used it in the city, I wish I’d kept it now.

Max smiles “You shouldn’t have sold it” he tells me.

“I know but now I can just get a new one” I reply.

“Liz it’s not big enough” he tells me. The sales guy joins us then and agrees with Max.

“What about the bigger model?” he suggests. We follow him to the Mazda 6 with Mac trailing behind us, apparently she doesn’t love cars so much anymore.

“This is the wagon model but I think it would be best for you. It will be easy to maneuver the pram in and out of plus it’s got a lot more room than the hatch or sedan” he explains.

“What do you think?” Max asks me.

“I like it” I smile “a lot”

“Lets take it for a test drive” he says.

The salesman goes off to organise some keys and when he comes back he asks which one of us is going to drive. “You better” I tell him. I don’t think it’s a good idea for me to while I’m pregnant plus it’s been a year since I’ve driven.

“You sure?” Max asks. I can tell he’s looking forward to taking it for a spin so I just smile. I walk around to the passenger side to get in but before I get the chance McKenzie jumps in and puts the seatbelt on. My mouth falls open in shock I cant believe the nerve of this girl.


“What are you doing, Mac?” I hiss at her when I realise she’s jumped in the car instead of Liz.

“What?” she says oblivious to the fact that she’s done something wrong.

“Get out” I tell her.

“What? Why?” she objects.

“Because we’re test driving this car for Liz” I snap.

I watch her then in anger as she jumps out of the car like a spoilt brat and I hop out and go around and help Liz in.

“I’m sorry about her” I whisper.

When we’re on the road I turn to Liz and apologise again.

“look Max I know it’s not your fault but you have to do something about her” she says.

“I know” I sigh.

“No, I’m serious because I don’t want her to come to the apartment until she looses the attitude” she says softly. I know she didn’t want to say it but had to, I can see the regret in her eyes “I mean it’s not just your place anymore unless you’ve changed your mind about me staying with you” she says.

“No of course not” I assure her quickly.

“So what do you think?” she says referring to the car.

“It’s a great drive” I smile “and there is plenty of room for the car seat and pram too” I tell her. I’m actually really impressed.

“Yeah it’s nice isn’t it” she agrees.

“You know I’ve been thinking” she says then.

“about?” I smile.

“We should trade bob in and get you something new too” she says.

“What?” I say shocked.

“Well your going to want to take the baby places too and bob isn’t very reliable” she shrugs.

“Bob’s fine for me” I assure her.

“No he’s not, Max” she smiles.

“Ok maybe he isn’t but you don’t have to do this” I tell her.

“I know I don’t and I want to say right now that I’m not offering because I feel guilty or I’m trying to buy your forgiveness. I’m doing this because I want us to both be able to have full access and get around with the baby and all its gear whenever we want to” I say.

“I know” I tell her.

“So is there something you like?” she asks and I can’t help but grin. “Let go take a look at it” she says with a knowing smile.

TBC..........see you in a few days

Also i have a new story on the AA board, it's just a one parter but please check it out :D