Title: Stay Awhile
Author: Fred
Category: M/M
Rating: Teen
Disclaimer: The characters of "Roswell" belong to Jason Katims, Melinda Metz, WB, and UPN and whoever else - but not me. They are not mine and no infringement is intended. Stay Awhile written by Steve Perry and Neal Schon (and if you don’t know the group – SHAME ON YOU!!!) ok - it's Journey.
Lines from Departure in bold. Stay Awhile in italics. Summary: Just some M/M thoughts from Departure.
Author’s Note: So I’m having issues with my next part of Without You and this came out. I realize this has probably been done a thousand times before but it’s really short so if it caught your interest enough to look at it – you might as well read it.
BIG THANKS to Zen – My beta and my friend. You are wonderful!!!
Kiss My Ass Pooh.
~~~
Michael: We’re leaving in a few hours. We have to, I have no choice. I don’t want to leave you. But we both knew someday this would happen.
Maria: How much time do we have?
Michael: About an hour.
Suddenly, she couldn't breathe. It was like someone dropped a boulder onto her chest.
‘An hour, only an hour. This can’t be happening. It just can’t’. She wanted to scream, ‘NO, it’s not fair!’ But she couldn’t, that imaginary boulder was there, preventing her from taking in enough air to say anything.
Her silence said too much. He knew it would tear him apart, but he forced himself to look into her eyes. Those beautiful, pain stricken eyes. They sparkled with unshed tears in the soft glow of the candlelight. He had only seen them filled with so much agony once before, when Alex died. Now, this time, he had been the one to cause the anguish. What to do? What to say? He had never wished for Max’s gift more than he did at that moment. The ability to heal . . . but no, all he could do was hurt.
Her lip began to quiver.
‘Oh God please let her hate me. It would be easier.’ But he knew his silent prayer would not be answered. He did the only thing he could think of to do. He wrapped his arms around her and held her to him.
Biting her lip she willed herself not to cry. She had always known that one day he would leave, but now all that went through her mind was, ‘Not now. Not now. Not now.’ She still couldn’t find the air that would allow her to tell him any of her thoughts. As she was forced to take in a small breath, she smelled the scent that was distinctly Michael. That was all it took. She finally inhaled that much needed oxygen and the first sob to escaped.
The sound tore at his heart causing tears of his own to burn his eyes. He wanted to cry with her but instead, trying to be comforting, he ran his hands through her hair. ‘How will I be able to leave her?’ he asked himself. ‘The only person who ever accepted me just as I am?’ Oh there was Max and Isabel. But they had accepted him because he was like them. Maria had accepted him even though he was different. She loved him, flaws and all. He thought about saying he was sorry, but he knew it wouldn’t help. Nothing would. He felt her tremble in his arms so he pulled her closer, trying once again to ease some of the pain.
“W . . . why?” She asked between the painful sobs. “Why . . . don’t you . . . have a choice?”
“Tess is pregnant and the baby can’t survive on earth.” He answered succinctly, trying to prevent the anguish he felt from spilling over into his words.
Maria raised her head so she could look into his eyes. A gasp of air hiccupped out of her. “Then you don’t have to go.” She said hopefully. “Just Tess.” But she already knew the answer to that statement. For better or worse, the aliens had always stuck together and this time would be no different.
Michael closed his eyes, trying to force the tears to disappear but it didn’t help. “I have to go.” He said sadly.
Maria pushed away from him. “No you don’t!” She argued. “You can’t . . . we just . . . we just made love! You can’t leave me!” She knew she was being selfish, but she didn’t care.
While shaking his head, Michael tried to pull her back into his arms, but she would have no part of it.
“Why would you do this!?!” She asked as she started to pound his chest. “Why would you show me yourself . . . why would you seduce me . . . when you knew . . . you knew . . . you would leave me!?!”
Michael laid there silently while she took out her anger, her frustration, and her pain on him. He deserved this and so much more. When the blows finally weakened, he wrapped his arms around her and drew her to him again. As he felt the tears dampen his chest, he asked himself the same question. ‘How could I do this?’ Connecting with her, showing her how much she meant to him, seemed to be a good idea earlier. He had believed that it might make his leaving easier. But then she had kissed him and now, as they lay in the aftermath of their lovemaking, he realized his mistake. Tonight wouldn’t just be a memory they could cherish throughout their lives – it would also be a night that would haunt them, serving as a reminder to what they had lost.
Maria eventually accepted the inevitable and calmed down a little — at least until she looked over at the clock. It was almost time, only a few more precious minutes and then he would leave. She willed the clock to slow down — to give her a few more seconds, but it stared back menacingly before it blurred from her fresh tears. Moments later she felt him move and panic ripped through her. ‘God no! Please not now!’ She begged silently as she tightened the hold she had on him. ‘I can’t . . . I need to be with him – just for a little bit longer. I can’t lose him – I’m not ready.’
He reached down and gently pulled her arms away from him, then sat up with a heavy sigh, “I have to go.”
Swallowing the sobs that threatened, Maria nodded her head and reached for him. “Please just stay awhile longer.”
As he pulled on his clothes, Michael bit down hard on his lip, trying to ignore the pain of his heart breaking. He had already stayed as long as he possibly could. Turning to look into her eyes he answered sadly, “I want to . . . you don’t know how much I want to . . . but . . .I can’t.”
Defeated, she pulled herself off the bed and reached towards him.
He pulled her into his arms and held her as long as he could. Feeling her fight the tears, he knew she was trying to be strong and he loved her all the more for it. He wanted to tell her one last time how much she meant to him, how knowing her had made him a better person. That no matter what happened, no matter how far away he was or how long they were apart, she would always be the love of his life. But it all seemed inadequate. Instead he bent down and gently kissed her. When he drew away, he looked into her sad eyes and whispered the only words that mattered. “I love you Maria.”
The tears fell freely as she heard his profession of love. She wrapped her arms around him, silently willing him to stay. But as the seconds ticked by and she felt him pulling out of her arms, she knew that he would not. Finally she forced a smile. “I love you.”
He leaned down and softly kissed her on her cheek, turned from her and walked away. As he closed the door to his apartment he finally allowed the silent tears to fall.
On the other side of the door, Maria sat in the middle of the floor and between sobs she sang . . .
I’d do anything to hold you.
I’d go anywhere to touch you.
I’d do anything you want me to,
If you’ll just stay with me awhile.
I’d sing any song your heart desires.
I would sing out loud of love’s sweet fires.
Oo, I’d do all this and so much more,
If you’ll just stay with me awhile.
Reach out your hand,
Oh, to me.
Oh, I’m fallin’
One minute more,
I’m fallin’
I’m fallin’
Oh, oh, fallin’, fallin’, fallin’, fallin’,
Won’t you just stay with me awhile?
~~~
Later . . .
Maria (to Michael): You opened the door and you came out – why? (It dawns on her.) You stayed for me.
The End
