Hey guys sorry for the long wait but my nets been really screwing lately 
...And I know you guys are dying for a Max/Liz moment but I have to tell you I'm not sure myself when that's going to be but I know its close 
Thanks for all your wonderful feedback!
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Part Ten</center>
I’ve missed the desert. I’ve missed being able to drive along the vast, open road; missed how the sky looks so clear, blue and never-ending. Just driving along, the wind in my hair makes me feel at peace, like time has stopped for just a moment to allow me to enjoy this one moment when I’m by myself, with nothing intruding my thoughts.
For a moment, just for a moment I’ve forgotten about the past year, forgotten that I’ve left Zan with my mom, forgotten what I’m doing out here in the first place. It won’t be long before reality will come crashing down because where I’m heading is now only a couple of miles away but till then I’m content to roll down the window and let the breeze tangle through my hair.
It’s funny how where I live seems so far away from the desert. It’s easy to forget in a big city like Albuquerque that a place like this exists just outside city limits. And, somehow, living in the city, you can never find the time to just slip away and drive out here. Too many responsibilities….
But then, this isn’t much different either. There are responsibilities here too, different kind of responsibilities but my responsibility nevertheless. After all, isn’t that what I’m doing out here today? Isn’t that why I couldn’t even give myself a day before I headed out here?
I didn’t plan to visit this place, hadn’t even thought about it when I decided to head back home to Roswell. I don’t even know what triggered me into thinking about it. Maybe it has something to do with Zan and Max…or maybe it has nothing to do with anything at all, except maybe old ghosts.
Who am I kidding? This has everything to do with Max. Why else would I be at the pod chamber in the middle of the afternoon?
Stepping out of my car, I look up at the towering structure and can almost feel a twinge of sadness at its shape. It lies in a pile of destruction. The granolith’s chamber was destroyed when Tess left and Max, Isabel and Michael finished off the rest once Larek told them that Khivar was dead. There is nothing here now, except pieces of the past and the ghosts of the lives this place destroyed in the process.
I haven’t laid eyes on it in over two years and to see it again brings back a jolt of memories. Memories of a life long past, of Isabel and Michael, of Tess, of Larek and Max’s mother…of Max and me…. For as long as I can remember I’ve hated this place. I’ve hated what it represents. All it’s ever brought to my life is heartache and sorrow.
This place is where it all started…the beginning of the end. And even when I thought it ended right here, I find that I was so wrong. Nothing has ended after all. I feel desperation wrap its cold, clammy fingers around my heart because I can’t see an end to that part of my life. I feel as if it’s never going to end, as if I’ll never find peace.
It seems like nothing I do, nowhere I run to, will ever allow me to escape. I might have cut off all ties to Max but somehow, I still find myself tied to him. Maybe its some big cosmic joke…I can’t have him and I can’t pull away from him either.
“Why couldn’t you let it end with Max?” I ask the structure accusingly. “Why did it have to be his son too? And why me? Why pull me in again?” My voice cracks and a feeling of helplessness sweeps through me. “God, isn’t it enough that you destroyed me once?”
Because the tears are too close and because the need to cry is too great, I turn away, forcing myself to push them back. I won’t cry over this. I’ve learnt that tears are useless. Focusing on why I’m here, I pull out the familiar stone from my pocket and just looking at them in my hand, shining under the bright sun, has me pausing.
More memories…more ghosts…
I can still remember so clearly that night before our wedding when Max sneaked into my bedroom and gave it to me. I had been so thrilled to see him, bursting with joy at the thought of getting married to him the next day. He had kissed me until we both were breathless, tempted to do more than kiss but Max had pulled away, whispering promises of finishing this the next day.
“I came to give you this.” He whispered, placing the box holding the healing stone in my hands. When I had just looked at him with confusion he went on to explain, “When I talked to Larek last week he mentioned the healing stones. He told me that these would be a lot more useful to you than any one of us. And I had managed to save at least one of them from that time I tried to heal you with these…”
“What does he mean by that? We’ve used them before with me.”
“You know Larek.” Max had grinned. “Never really divulges much information. But I figure that if Larek mentioned it to me then I’m meant to give this to you.”
Fingering the stone, I had smiled gently, feeling my heart turn over at the gesture. “Max, we’re getting married tomorrow. What does it matter if I keep it or you?”
Max had then kissed me gently. “Consider it a wedding present. I wanted to give you something of myself.”
I never wanted anything but you, yourself, Max. Feeling my cheeks wet with tears, I pull myself out of the past. The ache in my heart is just as acute as it was a year ago and reminds me rather sharply that no matter what I tell anyone, I haven’t forgotten Max.
“Focus, Liz!” I chide myself.
I haven’t used the healing stones in years, and am hardly sure even now how to use it. All I know is that my powers will help me harness whatever energy is there in the stone. I don’t even know why I’m here trying to use them but it just feels like something I have to do. Maybe, just maybe, I’ll find something about how to save Zan.
Cupping the stone in my hands, I face the pod chamber. Closing my eyes I concentrate on the object in my hands, ignoring everything around me. Over the past few years my powers have grown and Michael, of all the people, has taught me how to harness them. For a second I think I feel a tingle in my hand but it’s gone within a moment.
I try again; this time letting the energy flow threw my palms, into my fingertips and into the orb. This time I can actually feel the thrust of energy in my hands, a sensation I haven’t gotten used to as yet. Confident that I’ve got a handle on things, I open my eyes and am surprised by what’s happening. I had no idea what to expect but I certainly hadn’t expected this.
The healing stone is floating mere inches off my hands, barely touching my fingertips, a pulsing purple energy surrounding both the stone and my hands. Beams of energy keep flickering inwards, touching the edges of the stone, as if the stone is absorbing them. With each passing second the purple light turns brighter, the flickers more consistent. It’s building up to something, I can feel it.
But then, just as when I feel that I’m nearly there, something unexplainable happens. I feel my connection to Max flare up, my carefully constructed mind shield collapsing without a moment’s notice or sign.
For a second its like a homecoming, a much-awaited joining of two souls; and I feel it shoot through me like warmth that I know my system has craved for so long. It’s so familiar, this feeling…I can feel Max in me, I can sense him all around me, clouding my senses and I know almost immediately that he can sense me too.
For a split second I’m almost tempted to let the connection spring fully back to life, to allow Max and I to connect just once more. But already I can feel his shock, his denial, even as I drop the healing stone from my hands, dissipating the energy around it and breaking my connection with the stone. Realizing what I have done, and panicking wildly, I shut Max out once more, pulling up my shields but I already know it’s too late.
He knows I’m back.
Shaking, I slide silently to the desert floor, wrapping my arms around my stomach, willing myself to take deep breaths. What just happened? How did I connect to Max without wanting to? More, in that one moment of foolishness how far did I let Max connect to me? The connection had existed between us for only a few seconds but I know those can be enough.
“Oh God…” Still trembling, I push back the hair from my face, dropping my face onto my pulled up knees. “Oh God…”
I force myself to stop shaking and not to think about how good it felt to connect to Max like that again. It felt almost like it had before things had gone bad between us, almost as intense it had felt like when we had been young…but maybe it was all my imagination. Max and I haven’t connected that deeply in a long, long time.
No, it was just the suddenness of it. I was taken by surprise and so was he that was all…. Nothing had changed in the last year. He was still as he had been, obsessed with finding his son. If he had, wouldn’t someone have told me? Wouldn’t he have come after me…?
I don’t know how long I sit there like that, with my arms wrapped around myself tightly. The thoughts keep turning and twisting in my head, torturing me with what ifs and doubts. I don’t want to question my decision to leave Max. I don’t want to wonder if he’s changed. I don’t want to ask and I don’t want to be told. I just want to forget….
The sound of a car driving up to where I am has me freezing and almost immediately rushing to my own car. I don’t recognize the car nor can I see who’s driving. An almost irrational fear strikes me and I tense, wondering if it could be Max. Maybe he’s found me already.
As the car draws closer, I see a familiar blonde head stick out of the window and grin widely at me.
“Maria!” I breathe out in relief and joy and within moments I’m rushing to her. I barely give her the chance to get out of the car before I’ve engulfed her in a hug and she doesn’t hesitate to wrap her arms around me as well, holding on tightly.
This feels like another homecoming.
<center>* * * * * </center>
It’s quite a while later that both Maria and I are sitting on the hood of her car, just staring out at the desert in quiet reflection. We’ve exhausted ourselves with trying to catch up on our lives, with Maria going on at full speed about Jake, Michael and married life, carelessly throwing in bits and pieces of gossip.
I haven’t as yet told her about Zan but I know I will. I don’t think I can hide it from her for too long and I don’t think I want to either.
It strikes me just how much I’ve missed her. More than anyone else, Maria has always been the one person I could always count on. I know I can turn to her and no matter what she’ll be there for me.
“So, what are you doing here, Liz?” Maria asks finally, turning to look at me.
“I decided that maybe coming home for Christmas wasn’t such a bad idea after all.” I smile at her.
“Liz,” She tilts her head and looks at me knowingly, “I’m not asking why you’re back in Roswell. I knew you would be, no matter what. I’m asking why are you here, at the pod chamber? I’ll get to the part of why you didn’t tell me you were coming home later.”
“Well…” I look away, biting my lip as I feel inside my jacket pocket for the stone. I wrap my hand around its smooth surface, debating for a second before pulling it out and showing it to her. “I had something I wanted to try.”
Maria’s eyes go wide when she sees the healing stone. “Liz, don’t tell me you’ve been playing around with this again! You’ve been trying for years, chica! Nothing happens.”
“I know.” I shrug and put it back in my pocket. “I thought that maybe the pod chamber’s energy might help. It was worth a try anyway…”
“Did it work?” She asks curiously.
I pause, recalling the connection between Max and I. “I…got interrupted.”
“Oh…sorry. I just wanted to surprise you.”
I figure it’s easier to let Maria think it was she who interrupted me so I let the comment pass. “How’d you know I was here anyway?” I ask.
“I dropped by your parents’ place, had to drop off something my mom had sent for your mom. Your mom told me you were back in town and where you were.” Here Maria pauses and she looks at me cautiously. “While I was there I met someone…interesting…”
Almost immediately I feel something close around my throat and I have to fight to appear calm. As much as I wanted Maria to know about Zan, I’m not sure what her reaction will be and I’m suddenly afraid.
Looking casually at her, I ask, “Oh, you did? Who?”
Maria just looks at me and asks almost gently, “How did you find him?”
My smile falters and I consider lying to her. No matter how much I want to tell her, the fear of not knowing what she’s going to think has me pausing.
“Liz…”
Shaking my head viciously, I push myself off from where I am sitting and take a few steps away, keeping my back to Maria as I fold my arms around myself to ward of the sudden chill. I can hear Maria get up and take a step towards me, I can almost feel her reach out to touch my shoulder gently but even then I flinch, pulling away.
Keeping my arms wrapped around myself, I turn to look at her; the thousands of questions in her eyes making me wonder how I ever could have thought this would be easy and simple. For the longest of moments we just look at each other, both unsure what next to say or how to say it.
There’s a growing need in me to explain myself to Maria, to the one person who I’ve trusted implicitly through everything that’s happened to me. And yet…yet how can I? Where do I begin? How could I possibly make her understand? How can I make her see that within the past few weeks Zan has become the most important person in the world to me; that maybe he has become my world?
But then before I can even fathom how to explain myself, Maria makes it so easy for me. She reaches out and takes my hand in hers squeezing tightly, her eyes tearing even as a smile forms on her lips.
“I wish you had trusted me sooner and told me about Max’s son.”
Max’s son! Max’s! Not Tess but Max! Staring at my best friend with tears threatening to spill from my own eyes, I have to wonder why I ever doubted she wouldn’t understand, why she wouldn’t accept him. Just the fact that she referred to him as Max’ son and not Tess’s shows me that she understands the situation, that she understands my feelings more deeply than I gave her credit for.
“I have to tell him, Maria.”
The whispered words surprise me more than Maria but I know the moment I say them that it’s what I have to do. I have to tell Max about his son.
It’s not because Max can keep Zan safe. It’s not because I need Max’s help to protect him. I have to tell Max for the simple reason that he’s Zan’s father and because maybe I owe this to Max.
But most of all I owe this to Zan. I owe it to Zan to unite him with the one person who I know moved Heaven and Earth to find him…to bring him to the one person who ignored where Zan came from and loved him from the moment he was conceived.
And probably for the first time ever, I finally understand why Max did what he did all those years ago…I think I finally understand Max….
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TBC...</center>
I love reading it! I know you're all anxious for a new part and I can assure you that I'm working on one as we speak! 
