Banner: CandyDreamQueen
Title: Fallen in Love Author: Candice AKA CandyDreamQueen, candedreamer@yahoo.com
Beta: Tears_of_Mercury
Disclaimer: Roswell is the property of Jason Katims, Melinda Metz, The WB, and UPN, now known as The CW. All those people are not me. No infringement is intended. But Charley, Dukey, and Angel are all mine.
Rating: TEEN to Mature (will give warning)
Category: AU/with Aliens (well sort of)
Pairing: M/L
Summary: As a Light Guardian of earth, a divine protector of the human race, Max has watched over mankind since the beginning of time. The actions of humans have always fascinated him. He has even often wondered what it would be like to become human himself. Therefore, when he and his Dark Guardian brother are offered the chance to become humans for one week, Max finds that he is unable to pass up the opportunity…but falling in love was never part of the plan.
AN: This story contains some similarities to the movie City of Angels, but is not based on it. Thank you to Tears_of_Mercury for betaing for me.
FIRST
– Watching Them –
Max stood silently with his back pressed firmly against the tree, watching them as they played in the grass. It was a beautiful spring day here on earth. He liked it when the humans could enjoy the day. Nice weather seemed to make them happy, and if the humans were happy, so was he. Happiness was his job. As one of the hundreds of Light Guardians of earth, his entire reason for existing was to insure that humans experienced at least the smallest sense of delight in life.
Light Guardians were the mediums that brought similes to the faces of six billion people on the planet. They were responsible for times of happiness and times of peace. What they created, the humans saw as miracle. The contentment of mankind hinged on their being.
Nevertheless, as there was a yin for every yang, because his kind existed, so did his opposite. The Dark Guardians. They were those that were charged with creating chaos and destruction throughout the world. They were the bringers of disaster and pain, as well as the creators of tragedy and misfortune. Though they could not physically hurt humans themselves, Dark Guardians were masters of manipulation and it was no difficult task for them to get humans to cause each other harm. Dark Guardians were the catalyst for holocausts of death.
Neither being could exist without the other, and mankind could not exist without both. Together the Light Guardians and Dark Guardians created the balance in which humans unknowingly lived their lives.
No dark or light guardian had the power to make everyone completely happy or miserable. There were the occasional inevitable exceptions. Max prided himself on making sure that the balance of power was always, at least for the most part, tipped slightly in favor of the Light Guardians.
Humans had shown countless times throughout their relatively long stint on this planet that they managed to survive much better in the harmony of contentment than the confusion of turmoil. So here he was, watching over them.
This was one of the places on earth that he liked the most. “The Park”, they called it. It was always a place of high energy and good spirits. That made it easy for him to feed a strong wave of peaceful emotions into the area. Those emotions had a good chance of staying with the humans wherever else they happened to go. Because of this Max frequented the park often.
“What a voyeur you are. Always watching them.”
The voice spoke suddenly behind Max, but he wasn’t surprised by it. Neither was he startled by the sight of the dark figure dressed completely from head to toe in black that stepped from around the other side of the tree.
Max smiled pleasantly. “Hello brother,” he greeted his twin.
However, his brother Zan did not return his smile or his greeting.
Max hadn’t really expected him to. He wasn’t even sure if a Dark Guardian could smile. He’d never seen one do it before - at least not anything aside from the occasional cruel grin of maliciousness.
“I knew I could find you wasting time here,” Zan replied with a frown. He snarled in disgust when a small boy chased after a red rubber ball that rolled right past his foot. Zan kicked the ball, sending it flying even father away from the boy, who had no idea his ball was being manipulated by the invisible Dark Guardian.
Now Max frowned. “Was that really necessary?”
Zan shrugged. “Children are annoying.”
“I’m sure you were more of an annoyance to him than he was to you.”
Again Zan shrugged. “Semantics.”
Max ignored the non-response. “What are you doing here? I thought you said that the sight of people enjoying themselves nauseated you.” Zan had actually said more than that, but Max wasn’t going to repeat the rest.
“Yes, well, as much as I hate it, I’m here to make sure you don’t overdo it, so I’ll be wrecking a bit of havoc.”
That was something Max didn’t like the sound of. “You are? Why? This is a contented zone, mostly immune to your havoc.”
Zan looked at a stray green leaf that had floated onto his shoulder. He flicked it away with all the repugnance he would have used to wipe up a drop of bird poop. “Well, you’ve been polluting the area enough with all your lollypop and gumdrop happiness. The balance is too far gone, so I get to have a little fun.”
Calmly, Max folded his arms across his white shirt. “You know, brother, I can’t say that we really appreciate your type of fun here.” Even as he said it, Max knew there was nothing he could do to stop his brother. Zan was right; the area was too peaceful for a Dark Guardian to just let it be.
“I don’t make the rules, I just live to see them broken,” Zan said, walking away from Max and heading over to a picnicking family sitting on a blanket beneath a tree.
Max followed him wearily. “What are you going to do?”
“You’ll see,” he answered.
As he reached their blanket, Zan leaned casually against the trunk of the tree the family had been using for shade against the sun. Though none of the humans were aware of it, Max could clearly see the ripple of dark power that passed from Zan’s body up the tree.
After that, everything else seemed to happen all at once.
Not knowing exactly what his brother had been up to, neither Max nor the unsuspecting family were aware of the beehive that was perched on a stray branch right above their heads. Max wasn’t completely sure if the beehive had originally been right out in the open like that, or if it was yet another convenient manipulation put into place by his brother. Either way, the second the hive hit the picnic blanket, all pandemonium broke loose.
The bees, angry from having been disturbed, flew from inside of the hive at an unavoidable speed, swarming around everyone in the immediate area. The humans called out in sharp shouts and yelled yelps as bee stings found flesh and pierced with all the might of their angry stingers.
Thankfully, the family had sense enough to abandon their picnic area. Bees however, were notorious for giving chase, and soon all the happy humans that had been enjoying the end of the wonderful spring day were now fleeing the area as if the black plague had just been released onto them.
Max sighed as he watched the families scramble back to their vehicles. He really wished there was something he could do to help, but clearing the park and stinging a few humans was far from dealing the truly devastating damage his brother could have unleashed upon them. It was a good thing that they were under his protection.
He looked over at Zan, who appeared gallingly pleased with himself. “That was unnecessarily unkind of you.”
Zan smirked with satisfaction as he continued to lounge back against the tree trunk. “You’re lucky. It could have been worse.”
That was true, but it also could have been better. “You could have at least spared the children,” Max pointed out.
“I didn’t sting the children. The bees did.” Zan chuckled softly to himself and pointed in the direction of one of the cars. “Got that little rubber ball boy good.”
Max looked over at the minivan where the crying rubber ball boy’s desperate mother was carrying him into the car. “That’s not funny,” he said, and started to go towards them, but Zan placed a halting hand on his shoulder.
“No, it’s not really,” Zan admitted, then followed up with, “But if you think about it, it really is.”
Max stopped himself from going any further, resigned to let it go. The boy would be fine. As dangerous as a Dark Guardian could be, the park was still too much of a peaceful zone for his brother’s powers to have taken any effect that was more serious than a few bee stings. He was thankful for that.
“I suppose this area won’t be seeing too much activity for a while.” What a shame and a waste of such a nice place.
Zan smiled. “That will give me time to make it more to my liking. A few park bench bums ought to liven the place up. Maybe some trash in the pond? Oh, I know, playground equipment injuries! That will really keep the arrows away.”
Max rolled his eyes. “You’re not funny.”
“I’m not attempting to beeee,” Zan said, stressing the word.
As a being of light, Max didn’t really have the ability to feel anger. He imagined if he could feel any negative emotions, anger was the one he would be feeling right now. “Aside from ruining a perfectly good afternoon, was there something else that you wanted?”
Zan nodded. “Actually there was. You’ve been people watching a lot more lately. I’m curious: what exactly is the big deal?”
“You know how I feel about humans.” Max left his brother’s side and went to retrieve the rubber ball that had been abandoned by the little boy. The moment he touched it, the ball disappeared from existence.
“Catch,” he said, tossing it towards Zan.
Zan made no move to catch the ball that came flying directly next to his head. He didn’t even flinch when it bounced off the trunk of the tree and back towards Max, who caught it back with one hand.
“Yes, yes, I know of your sick fascination with these insignificantly short-lived people. But what I don’t understand is why you are so obsessed with them. You can easily create peace and tranquility among humans without standing constant watch over them like some obedient guard dog.”
Max tossed the ball in the air once. “I wouldn’t expect you to understand.”
Zan pushed away from the tree. “You’re right, I don’t understand. So what is it?”
Truthfully, Max had never considered what it was that drew him to humans so strongly. There were many guardians all throughout the world, all charged with creating joy and pain in human lives. Yet as far as he knew, he was the only one that seemed to harbor this watchful fascination over those lives.
Most guardians did their job and went on about their way. Not him. Max liked to watch the humans. He liked to see the full-blown outcome of his presence in their lives. He had never really known why that was.
Maybe there was something about being an unknown entity. Perhaps the idea that the humans had no idea that he was there, when he was influencing their lives, created his desire to become closer to them. Whatever the reason, he couldn’t remember a time in his existence when he hadn’t been enthralled by the human life. There was no way he could explain all that to his brother.
“I like humans,” he answered simply with another toss of the ball.
Zan rolled his eyes. “Yes, I gathered that.”
Max shrugged his shoulders and smiled pleasantly at his brother. He knew Zan hated that smile. “Well, then, why does there have to be anything else?”
“Lets just say I’ve been contemplating a few possibilities.”
“Possibilities?”
“Just some things I’ve been thinking about.”
“Possibilities that involve me?” Max asked, attempting to clarify Zan’s words.
Zan laughed at Max’s hesitance. “Don’t worry. They’re all good possibilities.”
“That’s not exactly comforting.” No, it wasn’t comforting at all. In fact, if he could feel fear, he was positive the idea that Zan was “considering possibilities” would be pretty scary.
“Don’t worry, brother. It’s all in the name of good,” Zan said reassuringly. But Max could tell his brother’s words lacked sincerity.
“The name of good?” he asked. Max shook his head. That would have been an even scarier thought. “I wasn’t aware that ‘good’ was in your vocabulary.”
Zan shrugged. “When it suites me.”
Max dropped the ball back onto the ground in the same exact spot he’d picked it up from, no longer warping its existence. To anyone passing by the ball would appear as simply someone’s forgotten plaything.
“So is this the name of my good or the name of your good?” Max asked.
“Oh ye of little faith.” Zan said. “Don’t you trust me?”
Max shrugged. “I’m not sure. There is no faith, and I’m not interested in playing your scheming games.”
Zan cocked a brow. “Even if it would be of great benefit to you?”
“I don’t exist to benefit myself. I exist to benefit humans,” Max answered easily.
“Hmm, you say that now.” Zan seemed to be talking more to himself than he was to Max.
“What are you up to?” Max asked.
Zan didn’t answer him. He ignored Max and walked over to the small pond. He bent down beside it and dipped his hand inside. When he lifted it out, he held it steadily and watched closely as water ran down his hand and trickled back into the pond.
“Do you wonder what it would be like to truly be a part of this world?” Zan didn’t turn around to see if Max had followed him over to the pond, but he knew his brother was standing behind him.
Max tilted his head to the side as he watched his brother. “What an odd question.”
Zan shook his hand out over the water. “You know, if you think about it, by all outward appearances we don’t even exist.” He cupped his hands together and placed them in the pond, then scooped up a handful of water.
“Of course we exist,” Max said.
Zan sent a look over his shoulder at Max. “How do you know?”
“We prove it every day.” Max’s gaze shot over to the beehive that was still sitting in the middle of the picnic blanket. “You just did.”
Zan rose from his hunched over position, the water still cupped in his hand. Not a single drop dripped between his fingers as he brought it over to Max. “Look at this.”
Max looked inside the small pool cupped in Zan’s hands. “It’s just water.”
“Yet it contains more substance than either you or I ever will. It exists.” Zan released his hand and let the water splash onto the grass, just avoiding splashing water onto Max’s immaculate white shoes.
“What are you talking about? We exist.” There was a slight sense of reservation in Max’s tone. It wasn’t because he didn’t believe in their existence. He was just a little thrown by the direction this conversation was taking.
“Do we?” Zan questioned. “I’m not so sure.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, how sure can we be that we are really here? We can’t touch the world physically. How do we know that it is really us that influence humans? The humans don’t seem to have any inkling of our presence. Who’s to say that we are here? I can kick a ball or splash a puddle, but to the people that truly exist in this world, I’m nothing more than a strong gust of wind.
“No matter how much pain and suffering I cause, or happiness and joy you create, humans will always explain our presence away. Why should you, or I, or any of us believe that we are even really here?”
Max had to admit, it was a concept he had never thought of before. It was also one he didn’t like. Was Zan right? Was it the desire to prove that he truly existed that drove him to seek comfort in the human presence? Max had never questioned his own existence before, but now that he thought on it, he didn’t even recall his birth. He had always just…been.
He looked at Zan, who was looking at him expectantly, like he was waiting for Max to come to some realization. “Why are you suddenly saying all this?” Max asked him.
Zan made a face that Max couldn’t read. “I’ve been thinking about it for a while now. Wondering what it would be like to exist as the humans do. Don’t you?”
Yes, Max had. More often than he would care to admit. “It doesn’t matter. We are what we are, and humans are what they are. We have our place, and they have theirs.”
“Hmm,” Zan’s expression was still unreadable.
Max wondered what his brother was thinking. The entire conversation was very odd, even for Zan. “What are you thinking?”
Zan didn’t answer. “Let’s go somewhere else.”
“Where?” This time Max could read Zan’s face. He looked as if he were up to something that could not possibly be good.
“To see Him.” Zan answered.
Max couldn’t respond. What could his brother have possibly been thinking to suggest such a thing? No one went to see Him. No one spoke of Him.
“The fallen one?” Max asked.
Zan nodded.
Max shook his head. “No one sees the fallen one. It’s forbidden.”
Zan scoffed at him. “Nothing is forbidden.”
He shook his head again. Max couldn’t believe what his brother was saying. “It’s just not done.”
“And why do you think that is?”
It was an obviously leading question. “Because he is fallen,” Max said. The answer should have been as obvious to Zan as it was to him. Being fallen was the greatest disgrace for any of their kind, dark or light.
“He chose his path.” Zan made the declaration as if he knew more about the situation than most guardians.
“He did not,” Max insisted. “He was punished. Stripped of his guardianship.” Zan had to be bluffing. He couldn’t know anything. No one knew more than what all the guardians had been told about the circumstances of what had happened to the fallen one. He had been stripped of his powers, turned human, and none of their kind attempted to make contact with him.
Zan chuckled. “How naïve of you.”
“What do you mean?”
“None of us really know what happened to him. I’m betting there’s a reason we’re not meant to know.” Zan spoke as if he were attempting to explain a complicated concept to a small child.
“You speak of conspiracy,” Max said. Just as he spoke, a strong gust of wind blew between the two of them. It tossed the leaves on the trees and pushed waves across the small pond. It was as if the world were speaking, nodding its head in agreement with him.
“We’re not a perfect race, Max. We are the essence of extreme. Extremely good and extremely evil. There is no middle ground for us. We don’t have a balance. Only humans have that pleasure. What do you think it would be like to have that?”
“You are my balance. I’ve never wanted to be what you are. I’ve never wanted to feel what you feel. Pain, loss, suffering, anger.” Max shook his head. “You can keep them.” But a secret part of him did wonder what it would be like. What would it feel like to have negative emotions? What drove Zan’s kind to fashion the heinous acts they created?
Zan bent his head until Max could no longer see his face. He stood there for a moment, his arms straight, he his head bent in silence. He was so still that Max wondered if he was all right. Then Zan’s shoulders began to shake.
He was laughing. Zan was laughing at him.
Suddenly Zan’s head shot back up, and there was a wild and frightening look on his face. “We’re not whole, Max!” he yelled. “We’re nothing but half beings. Unable to comprehend the full spectrum of what it means to be alive! We-are-not-alive!”
Max had never seen his brother like this before. Zan was breathing hard, almost panting. He seemed more impassioned than Max had ever seen him. And for a Dark Guardian, there was only one type of passion: volatile passion.
The wind picked up, and the sky above them suddenly began to darken. Max looked up at it coolly. “Calm down, brother,” he soothed Zan. He was not sure if the other guardian was even listening to him. In fact, his brother had begun to pace just as a streak of lighting cut through the sky. It was immediately followed by a loud clap of thunder.
Zan didn’t break his pacing as he looked up at the sky as well. He laughed when a drop of water splashed on his face. “Calm down? Why? A little storm never hurt anyone.”
That was far from the truth, and they both knew it. They also knew that this sudden storm had the potential to become much more than little.
Although Zan had never been one of them, Max had a lot of experience with irate Dark Guardians, so he knew to continue speaking to his brother calmly. “You’re angry. This storm is too much.”
The rain didn’t let up. “I’m not angry, Max.” Zan laughed manically. “But then you don’t even know what anger is, so how would you be able to tell if I were?”
“I may not be able to feel anger, but I’m well aware of what it looks like.” And the sky was beginning to look a lot like angry.
Then, just as quickly as it had all started, the wind died down, the sun began pushing at the clouds, the rain slowed, and the lightning and thunder were no more.
Zan was now completely back to normal. His expression was even, no signs of frantic lines of laughter etched on his face.
“No, Max, I’m not angry,” he said. “But I am going to see the fallen one.” He reached out and placed both of his hands on his brother’s shoulders. “And you are coming with me.”
Max didn’t have time to make objections to his brother, because just as suddenly as Zan had brought on and stopped the angry storm, he made the two of them disappear into thin air.
TBC