I'll just say when we get to Max, he'll add a different perspective on things.
I really enjoyed writing Justin. I genuinely like him as a character, but I don't want to say much more about him until after the next installment this weekend.
On with the show.....
What Matters - Edwin McCain
Have you given up on passion living day to day
You keep your dreams locked down inside
Choking on a lifetime of never take a chance
Don't wake up one day wishing you tried
It ain't about the money, it ain't about the time
It ain't about the love you lost or the things you think you left behind
It ain't about the losing streak, makes you feel like you're falling apart
What matters is your heart
Let's forget about the notion that we're not the same
My blood runs as red as yours
We all get angry, we've all been scared
We've all made big mistakes that can never be repaired
It ain't about the money, it ain't about the time
It ain't about the love you lost or the things you think you left behind
It ain't about the losing streak, makes you feel like you're falling apart
What matters is your heart
Look me in the eye and take my hand
We can make a difference
We can make a difference I know we can
Have you given up on passion living day to day
You keep your dreams locked down inside
Choking on a lifetime of never take a chance
Don't wake up one day wishing you tried
It ain't about the money, it ain't about the time
It ain't about the love you lost or the things you think you left behind
It ain't about the losing streak, makes you feel like you're falling apart
What matters is your heart
Part Ten
Spring – 2004
*~Liz~*
Justin had kept his word, calling in sick as he said he would, and they spent the day studying. She had to admit that he’d been right. The sleep had done wonders for her concentration, and they covered more material than she had thought they would.
Late that night, they finally closed their books.
“Feeling better about it all now?” he asked rubbing his eyes.
“Yeah,” she said, with a tired smile.
He leaned back in the chair, staring at her speculatively.
“What,” she sighed exasperated.
“I held up my end of the bargain,” he said. “Now you have to hold up yours.”
She groaned and laid her head on the table.
“Justin, I can’t even think about going out on a date now. Can’t it wait till after finals?” she asked.
“I guess it could,” he answered. “In fact, I think I have the perfect guy in mind.”
Liz sat up and smirked.
“Oh you do,” she said, with suspicion.
“Uh huh,” he answered, running his hand through his hair.
“No offense Justin, and I know that I’ve told you this before, but I’m not even remotely interested in any of the guys you know,” she said.
“Because of this dream guy?” he asked.
“Look, I’m just warning you. I haven’t met one guy yet here in Boston who’d even made me look twice. I just can’t see where you setting my up on a date with some random guy is going to bode well, you know?” she asked.
He was quiet for a moment, looking away from her.
“What’s wrong?” she asked.
“Hmm? Um, nothing,” he said vaguely, but she could see something was bothering him.
“What did I say?” she asked, confused.
He shook his head, and smiled.
“Nothing. I think I know someone who might change your mind,” he answered. “His name is Matt. He works with me over at the restaurant. He’s a really great guy, I swear.”
“I’ll go on this date, but I want an amendment on this deal,” she said.
“You want to negotiate now?” he laughed. “It’s a little late for that.”
“I want you to come, like a double-date,” she said stubbornly. “You bring one of your many random girls, and I will suffer through a set-up.”
His jaw tightened.
“I don’t know if that’s really a great idea,” he said.
“Why not?” she asked, watching him shift uncomfortably in his seat. “There’s something wrong with this guy isn’t there? That’s why you don’t want to be there. You’re afraid that I’ll kill you for setting me up with a loser.”
He frowned, crossing his arms over his chest.
“Matt’s not a loser,” he said.
“Then you should have no problem coming and bringing a date along,” she retorted.
“Fine,” he sighed. “I’ll bring a date.”
“Good,” she said with a grin.
***********
They’d decided on a celebration double date after finals.
After that night she’d spent at his house, Justin seemed to make himself scarce. Suddenly he had more hours to work, and less time to study.
As busy as she was with her own studies, Liz noticed his withdrawal.
Less and less was he available to study, his excuse being work. The few times he did come over, he was unusually serious and quiet.
Two nights before finals started on a rare night when he'd decided to study with her, she decided she couldn't take it anymore.
She sat opposite him, watching him, his spiky black hair shining under the light over the kitchen table bent over his book.
"Did I do something wrong?" she asked quietly.
"What?" he asked, distracted, looking up at her.
"Did I do something wrong," she repeated, biting her lip.
"No, I don't know what you're talking about," he said, looking down at his book.
"I feel like you've been avoiding me," she said, pushing her hair behind her ear.
He sighed, keeping his eyes trained on his book.
"Liz I told you that things have been crazy at work. It's not you. It's me," he said.
"I just have too much on my plate right now, and I'm stressing about a lot of things," he said running his hand through his hair.
"Is it anything you want to talk about?" she asked with quiet concern.
He shook his head.
"Not really," he answered.
"You know I'm here, right?" she asked.
"I know," he said, looking up at her with a wistful smile. "Thanks, really."
She nodded.
"We just have to get through finals, right? Then we'll have that celebration double date you've been talking about," she said.
His smile faded.
"Yep," he said, looking back down at his book.
"Just gotta get through finals," he muttered.
*******
Their studying paid off.
The day of their scheduled double date, they received their grades. Both passed all of their finals with flying colors.
Liz was happy to note that she'd made the Dean's List again, and Justin had made it as well.
It would be something further to celebrate that night. She wouldn't be going home again this summer, deciding to keep going with her accelerated curriculum. It wasn't as if she would be alone. Lydia was going home, but Justin too was staying the summer, so it wouldn't be so bad.
She wondered what this guy Matt was going to be like. She knew that Justin wouldn't set her up with a jerk, but she still felt the nervous butterflies in her stomach as she got ready for the evening.
What if he hated her? What if she made an idiot of herself? After all, it wasn't as if she were a pro at dating. She'd only dated Kyle, and that was a high school romance. Matt was in his twenties. What would he expect of her?
A nagging voice tickled her mind, reminding her of the dream of love at first sight she'd had since she was a girl.
She chided herself as she pulled on the sleeveless black dress she would be wearing that evening. She had to stop this stupid fantasizing, and really start to look at those around her, or she was going to be lonely forever.
Yes, maybe she always knew that Kyle wasn't the one for her, but maybe she wasn't giving anyone a fair shot. Maybe it was time to open her mind to the possibilities of a romance that didn't necessarily have to be instant.
Maybe she never really had given it a chance, always keeping it in the back of her mind that she was waiting for some unnamed guy.
It was going to be a long summer, and maybe it was time to just let go of those stupid dreams and give it an honest try. Maybe she would do that with Matt.
She applied her lipgloss and feathered her cheeks with a touch of color, before putting her hair up and slipping into her shoes.
She looked at herself critically in the mirror. Would she measure up?
She looked at her diminutive reflection in the mirror, and sighed.
She didn't have any cleavage to speak of. Her waist was tiny, but she was short. The black strappy heels helped with that a little, but still...
She'd seen most of the girls Justin had taken on dates. Most of them were ample-breasted and had legs that went on forever and she wondered if that was what Matt would be looking for.
She heard a knock at the door and started.
That had to be him.
She walked to the door and paused, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath before opening it, mustering her resolve.
She opened her eyes and then the door, not knowing what to expect.
On her step she found an extremely attractive blond male, well built and impeccably dressed in a pair of black pants and a tailored white dress shirt that seemed to further accentuate his physique. His hair fell across his forehead rakishly, and he pushed it back off of his forehead.
"Um, I'm Matt. I was looking for Liz Parker?" he said, with a nervous grin.
"You're looking at her," Liz said with a tentative smile. "Do you want to come in for a sec while I get my bag?"
"Sure," he said, as she stepped back to let him in.
"I'll be right back," she said over her shoulder as she crossed the living room. "Can I get you something to drink or anything?"
He shook his head.
"We should probably head out," he said. "With the traffic, we'll probably just make it on time."
She grabbed her bag and a wrap, and came back out into the living room to find him glancing around the apartment.
"This is a nice place," he said.
"My roommate and I got lucky," she said, a slight blush tingeing her cheeks.
They stood uncomfortably for a few seconds.
"I guess we should go," he said, and she nodded.
Liz locked the door as they left the apartment, and when they reached the walk, he opened the passenger door of his car for her to get in before walking around to the other side.
He got in and shut the door, sitting for a minute and letting out a harsh breath.
She turned to look at him.
"I should probably just tell you that I don't do this often. You know...go on blind dates," he said.
"Me either," she said with a relieved smile.
"So does that mean you're a nervous wreck too?" he asked.
She nodded.
"I honestly didn't know what to expect," she asked.
"Thank God," he said with a relieved sigh.
"I didn't either," he said with a grin. "I mean, I trust Justin, and he's the only person I would even consider allowing to set me up someone, but I've seen some of the girls he's dated, and...."
"Same here," she answered with a shy smile, her words letting him know that no further explanation was needed.
"But, when you opened the door," he continued, "man I was so relieved. You don't look high-maintenance, and you're not all caught up in yourself."
"Thanks, I guess," Liz said with a grin.
"No....shit, that's not what I meant," he said quickly, shaking his head. "I mean...I meant that you don't seem stuck up, or..."
"I know what you meant," she said with a smile, putting her hand on his arm. "And I feel the same way."
"Maybe this is forward of me to say, but you look amazing," he said.
"Thanks," she answered softly.
"So, are you ready for this?" he asked.
"Ready as I'll ever be. I just hope Justin's date isn't going to be a horror show," she answered.
He rolled his eyes.
"Yeah, right," he answered. "I don't know why he goes after girls like that. I mean, he's a great guy. I don't understand why he feels he has to get his dates at "Bimbos R Us."
She laughed in spite of herself.
"You noticed that too, huh?" she said.
"Please, isn't it obvious?" he asked. "But anyway, I'm glad you're not one of them."
"Me too," she said with a grin.
"So, shall we?" he asked, starting the car.
She nodded.
******
By the time they'd reached the restaurant, she and Matt had lost the awkwardness between them, and were laughing as they entered the restaurant.
The hostess approached them, but Matt had already spotted Justin at a table near the window, placing his hand at the small of her back to lead her through the crowded restaurant.
Liz felt Justin's eyes on her, and she met his gaze. He stared at her for a moment and then averted his own toward his date.
As they approached the table Matt automatically greeted Justin with a clap on the back, leaving Liz to study his date. Her lips tightened. She was just as she and Matt suspected she would be - an over-endowed blond in a tight fitting dress.
"Hi," she said, reaching across the table. "I'm Liz."
"Mikaela," the girl said, shaking her hand with a smile.
"Nice to meet you Mikaela," Liz said, letting go so that she could sit in the chair that Matt had pulled out for her.
She looked at Justin, a little hurt at his apparent aloofness.
"Hey Justin," she said in a low voice.
"Liz," he answered, with a tight nod.
Conversation was strained, as they perused their menus.
Liz watched with wary eyes as Justin downed a glass of wine and poured another.
"So Matt," she said, clearing her throat. "Are you staying for the summer?"
"Yeah," he said, glancing at her with a smile. "I'm going to work and take some extra credits to keep ahead."
"I'm taking extra courses too," she said, putting her napkin in her lap.
"I think guys who go to college are so hot," Mikaela volunteered turning her eyes hungrily on Justin.
Liz suppressed an outward cringe, wondering what the hell Justin was thinking in even bringing this one out on a date. Well, it was obvious what he was thinking with.
Liz didn't know how to respond to Mikaela's comment, and so she just smiled at Matt uncomfortably, seeing that he found the humor in the situation in his eyes.
"Mikaela's an entrepreneur herself," Justin said, downing some more wine.
Liz's eyes snapped back to the couple on the opposite side of the table.
"Oh really?" she asked, looking at the girl.
"Yeah, I'm sick of working the lingerie counter at Macy's," she said. "Their stuff is so lame. I'm trying to get some money together to open my own store. I work at a bar nights."
"Is there good money working at bars?" Liz asked, curious.
"At the bar I work at there is," she said with a smile. "Lap dances get a hundred bucks, and half of that is mine."
Liz almost choked on the wine she'd been sipping.
Was she for real?
"Oh I see," Liz said slowly, nodding. "Well, good luck with that."
She felt Matt's foot nudge hers, and she fought to keep a straight face.
"So Mikaela, I bet you get all kinds of weird stuff happening to you doing what you do," Matt said.
"Oh yeah," she said, waving her overly manicured hand. "You should see some of the freaks that come in. Old married bald guys, really geeky guys, frat boys. Sometimes it gets real hard to put the act on, you know? But then I think of the money, and I manage. Plus, it's always the older guys who give you an extra tip at the end. The young guys don't tip for shit."
"Really," Matt said, trying to keep a straight face.
"Nope," she said with complete seriousness. "They suck. I usually do those just for fun, because they're easier on the eyes. But it's the old ones that make me the money."
Liz saw Matt glancing at her from the corner of his eye, and she smiled inwardly, knowing exactly what he was thinking.
"See? I'm the eye candy," Justin said sourly, taking another drink of his wine.
"Nuh uh," Mikaela purred, sliding closer to him. "You're not a client. I could seriously think about settling down with someone like you."
"You don't even know me," Justin snorted.
"Liz knows me," he said, nodding in her direction. "She'll tell you that I'm not such a catch."
Liz felt her face redden in embarrassment being drawn into his conversation.
"Tell her Liz," he said with a slight slur.
"Justin's a great guy," she said, looking at Mikaela, and then glaring at Justin. What the hell was going on with him?
"I know," Mikaela said, leaning in to catch his earlobe between her teeth. "He's not only sexy, but he's smart too."
Liz felt the bile rise in her throat at the woman's obvious advance on him. She was disgusting. But why should she care? He was the one that had to sleep with her, not her.
"What can I say?" Justin said with a smile, lifting his glass yet again.
The tension continued all through dinner, getting worse as dessert progressed. Liz went from hurt to angry as the evening moved on. Justin had a sarcastic comment for almost everything that was said, made worse by the fact that Mikaela seemed to find everything he said to be hilarious. The two of them had finished off two bottles of wine during dinner, and had long ago left the limits of sobriety.
Justin leaned his chin on his hand.
"So Matt, what do you think of Liz?" he asked, picking up his glass.
"She's really great," Matt said with a smile, turning to look at her.
She returned his smile with one of her own, hoping that the evening was going to end soon. The tension was getting on her nerves.
"I really have to thank you. I didn't think we'd have so much in common, but we do," he said, and she nodded.
"So is he the one Liz? Did I pick him? Was I right?" Justin slurred, blinking with feigned innocence.
Liz's face flamed.
"Justin, I think you've had too much to drink," she said in a low voice.
"What are you talking about?" Mikaela said with an inebriated giggle.
"Oh this is quite an interesting story," Justin said, leaning back to look at Matt.
"You see, Liz thinks that she'll know the guy she wants to be with for the rest of her life at first sight," he drawled.
Liz felt the mortification coursing through her entire body.
"Shut up Justin," she hissed in a warning tone.
She knew Matt could sense her embarrassment.
"Hey man," Matt said in a calming tone. "Maybe you should just keep it to yourself. You don't want to say anything you'll regret in the morning, do you?
.
"I don't regret anything I say," Justin said angrily.
He turned to Mikaela.
"Anyway, you have to hear this," he said with a laugh. "She thinks she'll just *know* it. Like Prince Charming is just going to walk right into her life and she'll recognize him right away as the love of her life. What do you think of that, Mikaela?"
Mikaela burst out laughing.
"Do you really think like that?" she asked, leering at Liz. "Honey, you can't mix up attraction with love. They're too separate things. Otherwise it will mess you up. Love at first sight? Are you fucking crazy?"
Liz's eyes filled with tears of humiliation. She couldn't believe he would embarrass her like this.
"Come on Parker, you can tell me. It's the least you can do. Is he the one?" he goaded.
"Come on Liz, I think we should leave," Matt said in a low voice, and she didn't need him to say anymore.
She rose from her chair, a tear trailing down her cheek as she glared at Justin.
"I can't believe you did this!" she said. "You're such a bastard. This was *your* idea! So what were you trying to accomplish here? What did I do to deserve this?"
Justin stared back at her, almost as if he'd realized he'd pushed things too far, but he remained silent.
She turned and fled through the restaurant, with Matt not far behind. She was able to make it outside before she burst into tears.
"Come on," he said softly, putting his arm around her, guiding her to the car. "I'll take you home, ok?"
She was silent for the ride back to her apartment, trying to understand what had just happened. She'd felt Justin pulling away from her over the past few weeks, but she couldn’t think of what she could have possibly done to him to deserve the humiliation he inflicted on her.
Matt pulled up in front of her apartment and put the car into park.
"I'm sorry for that," she said in a quiet voice.
"Why are you apologizing?" he asked. "I can't believe he did that. It's not like a first date isn't harrowing enough on the nerves."
"I don't understand it either. It's not so much what he said, and I know that whole ideal is unrealistic. And I'm not even really mad that he said it, but I never...I didn't think he'd do it that way, like my feelings are stupid, and he embarrassed the both of us. I just can't believe it," she said.
"I wasn't embarrassed Liz. I can tell that I would be a lucky man if you ever did feel that way about me. But I'm sorry that he embarrassed you," he said, concerned. "I don't get him either. Why would he have set us up like that if he suddenly decided I wasn't good enough?"
She shook her head, wiping her eyes.
"Matt, it's not you. He's obviously got some issue with me," she said.
"Yeah, I have a pretty good idea what that issue is," he muttered.
"This started out so nice. I can't believe it was such a disaster," she sniffed.
"It wasn't a disaster. I had a really great time with you," he answered.
She smiled sadly.
"Thanks," she said. "And thank you for dinner."
"My pleasure," he answered. "I'd say we should go do something, but after that..."
"No, I think we've both had enough tension for the evening," she said. "But, call me, ok?"
He smiled.
"Yeah, I'd like that," he said.
"Thank you," she whispered, and leaned over to touch his lips with hers. Then she got out.
“Goodnight Liz," he said, as she leaned back in.
"Good night Matt," she said with a small smile, and walked up to the door. She unlocked it, waved, and stepped inside, slumping against the door when she heard his car pull away.
Then she let the full force of the hurt of what Justin had done washed over her, and she choked back a sob.
Serendipity(Every Path Leads..) (AU, ML / Mature) (Complete)
Moderators: Itzstacie, Forum Moderators
Part Eleven
Just a warning. The next three parts are going to be emotional and angsty. After that, we move on to Max's POV.
I know at least one of you isn't going to like me very much after this installment.
This one in particular was hard for me to write, but it was the way I envisioned the story. Serendipity, to me is fate and/or a chain of events that lead to one moment. We already know what that moment is, the moment when Max saves Liz on the subway platform. Some of the events are little moments, and some of them change everything.
See my note at the end of the post.
I Didn't Know I Was Looking For Love – Everything but the Girl
I was alone thinkin' I was just fine
I wasn't lookin' for anyone to be mine
I thought love was just a fabrication
A train that wouldn't stop at my station
Home, alone, that was my consignment
Solitary confinement
So when we met I was getting around you
I didn't know I was looking for love
Until I found you
I didn't know I was looking for love
Until I found you honey
I didn't know I was looking for love
Until I found you baby
I didn't know I was looking for love
I didn't know I was looking for love
Cuz there you stood and I would
Oh I wonder could I say what I felt
And not be misunderstood
A thousand stars came into my system
I never knew how much I had missed them
Slap on my map of my heart you landed
I was coy but you made me candid
And now the planets circle around you
I didn't know I was looking for love
Until I found you
I didn't know I was looking for love
Until I found you baby
I didn't know I was looking for love
Until I found you baby
I didn't know I was looking for love
I didn't know I was looking for love
So we build from here with love the foundation
In a world with tears one consolation
Now you're here there's a full brass band
Playin' in me like a wonderland
And if you left I would be two-foot small
And every tear would be a waterfall
Soundless boundless I surround you
I didn't know I was looking for love
Until I found you
I just didn't know
I didn't know I was looking for love
Until I found you
I didn't know I was looking for love (I just didn't know)
Until I found you
I didn't know I was looking for love
I didn't know I was looking for love
Until I found you baby
I didn't know I was looking for love
Until I found you
I didn't know I was looking for love
Until I found you baby
I didn't know I was looking for love
I didn't know I was looking for love
Until I found you
I didn't know I was looking for love
Until I found you
I didn't know I was looking for love
Until I found you
Part Eleven
Spring 2004
*~Liz~*
Liz left the lights off, pulling her shoes off and throwing them on the floor as she walked into her room. She grabbed her pajamas and pulled the dress over her head with a violent tug, throwing it on the bed before pulling her tank top over her head and yanking her pajama bottoms on.
She padded out to the living room and threw herself on the couch.
She lay there for a long time, trying to figure out what she'd done to deserve that humiliation. She'd counted on Justin, and told him things that she wouldn't trust many people with, and this is what he did to her?
A knock at the door interrupted her thoughts. She wiped her eyes.
"Liz, it's me. Please open the door," Justin said from the other side of the door.
"Go away," she said in a loud voice, getting up from the couch to stand by the door.
"Look Liz, please, just let me in. I'm sorry," he said.
"I bet you are," she said in a bitter voice. "Just go home Justin."
It was quiet outside for a moment.
"I didn't mean it Liz," he said in a low voice.
She pulled the door opened, and glared at him angrily.
"Then why did you do it?" she asked with her hands crossed over her chest. "What did I do to deserve that?"
"Nothing," he said, looking at the cement below his feet.
She let out a harsh sigh and walked away from the door, going back to the spot she'd occupied on the couch.
He followed her in and shut the door.
"I don't have any excuse for how I acted tonight. I had too much to drink and I don't know what came over me," he said.
"Oh so that's supposed to excuse the complete and total humiliation you inflicted on me?" she said, wiping away her tears.
He knelt down next to the couch, trying to meet her eyes, but she wouldn't look at him.
"I'm sorry," he said softly.
"This was your idea. Yours," she said in a clipped tone. "I didn't want to date anyone and you insisted. You tell me that I have to concentrate on other things. You set this up, and then you go and not only embarrass me, but Matt too."
He was silent.
"Why?" she asked. "Why would you do something like that? When I told you those things, I didn't think you would throw it back in my face."
"Look Liz, I didn't even want to be there tonight. And maybe I didn’t want what you told me to be true. Maybe I was hoping that it wasn't true tonight. Maybe I was afraid it was," he said.
"What? What are you talking about?" she said, sitting up, not wanting to admit what she already suspected.
She saw his jaw tighten and he looked away, trying to keep a check on his anger.
"Justin, I know that you want the dream too, but you can't keep dating women like Mikaela and expect to find that," she said.
"Don't you think I know that?" he said tightly.
"I wanted you to be happy Liz, and I thought I was doing the right thing, but tonight, when I saw you laughing with someone else...when I saw him looking at you, I realized I made a mistake," he said.
"Justin, you're not making any sense," she said, shaking her head.
"I wanted it to be me, ok? I wanted you to love me!" he answered.
She froze, in shock.
"I've been in love with you for months. Those women I dated? I didn't sleep with one of them. I didn't even call any of them back, because when I was with them, all I could think about was you, what you were doing, where you were," he said.
"For the longest time, I was afraid of what I was starting to feel," he said, running his hand through his hair in frustration.
"God, when I asked you to be my study partner, I thought you were cute, but I never expected to really like you. I never expected any of it. I hadn't felt anything like that since Jennifer, and....I was afraid to feel that way again, because it practically killed me the last time," he said.
"I wanted to be the one, but I couldn't admit it to myself. Maybe I thought that you would go out with Matt and would see what you were missing with me. But it didn't happen," he said bitterly.
"Matt isn't him," she said quietly. Had she been such a fool? How had she not seen this?
"But neither am I, right?" he asked, looking at her.
"Justin, I..."
She never got to finish, as his lips closed over hers, filled with longing and passion and promise. Her hand slid up his throat to cup his jaw as his fingers gripped her tank top, pulling her closer.
It had been so long since she'd been kissed, and she felt an unaccustomed stirring in her stomach. Her fingers moved to tangle themselves in the spiky hair at the back of his neck. She opened her mouth to his assault, tasting the heady wine as his tongue gently traced hers. He moved to kneel in between her legs on the floor, his hands moving to her hips to pull her closer. His body pressed against hers, strong and warm, and she felt her pulse quicken.
She felt his fingers squeezing her hips, his lips moving over hers as he pillaged her mouth with sensual thrusts of his tongue.
Suddenly, he stiffened, pulling away, his breathing ragged.
"I'm sorry. God, I'm sorry for everything," he said, stumbling to his feet. "I didn't mean to do that. I..."
He didn't finish, moving quickly to the door and opening it.
"Justin, wait!" she said, but the door closed behind him.
She got up from the couch and moved to the window, watching him walk quickly away from the apartment, down the street, running his hand through his hair in frustration.
What was she going to do?
She sank to the floor, leaning up against the wall underneath the window, pulling her hair away from her face.
One of her best friends was in love with her, and she didn't know how to feel about it.
Any other girl would have jumped at the chance to be with Justin. Yet after he initially approached her in class, she hadn't thought of him that way, at least not consciously.
What was wrong with her?
He was so smart, and funny and he was beautiful. He was in love with her.
In that moment, she realized how special that was, and how rare that someone like Justin could love someone like her.
Maria's words came back to her.
"Liz, I’m going to say something, and then I promise I’ll drop it from now on. Life is short, and making the grade is great, but you have to live a little. You know, take a chance. You said it yourself in your speech, that you never know what could happen..."
Maybe that was worth taking a chance on seeing what happened between them. Maybe it was worth risking the friendship they had, because she was pretty sure that after tonight it would never be the same. Not after he'd told her how he felt. Not after he'd kissed her, and stirred emotion in her that she didn't know she'd had. She didn't want to lose him.
She waited awhile, until she was sure he was probably home, and dialed his number. The phone rang four times, and the machine picked up.
"Justin, it's me. Please pick up the phone if you're there," she said, and paused for a few seconds. She sighed when the receiver didn't pick up.
"I need to talk to you," she said softly. "That kiss...that kiss was amazing, and I wanted to tell you..."
She heard the receiver pick up.
"Liz," he said quietly.
"Hey," she answered with a smile.
"I'm sorry for running off like that. I just...I got scared at what your reaction would be. I mean I laid all of that stuff on you, and after what I did to you tonight-" he said.
"Justin, I want to try it," she said.
"Try what?" he asked.
"Us. I want to try us. You've been so...amazing over the past couple of months and I just, I don't want to lose you. I've been so stupid, I should have seen it," she said.
"No, You wouldn’t have," he said quickly. "I didn't exactly advertise how I was feeling. That made what I did tonight even more unfair."
But maybe he had, and she just hadn't seen it.
"I don't have to put on an act when I'm around you. I know I can tell you anything, even the most reviled, disgusting thoughts that go through 20 something male brains and I know you won't hate me for it," he said. "So, if you're asking me why I'm nice to you, it's because I want to be. Because you're probably the best friend I've got here in Boston, and well because...I want to."
He'd told her in his own way, but she'd been oblivious.
"Let's try this J," she said. "If it doesn't work, it doesn't work, but you...you are one of the most important people in my life. More important than even I realized. What you thought mattered to me tonight, and that Mikaela, well don't even get me started on what I thought of her."
"Jealous?" he asked, hopefully.
"Yeah, I guess maybe I was," she admitted.
"Good, because I wanted to rip every hair out of Matt's head," he said with a wry laugh.
"He's your friend," she said with a chuckle.
"He was with you," he answered quietly.
Liz was silent, realizing the meaning behind the words.
"So, where do we go from here?" she asked.
"I don't know," he admitted. "We can just...take things as they come. Why don't you meet me at the restaurant after I get off of work, say, tomorrow at five? We can talk."
"I'd like that," she said.
"Ok then," he said. "So I'll see you tomorrow then?"
"I'll be there," she answered.
"Sweet dreams Liz," he said.
"You too, J," she said.
She hung up the phone with a sigh and smiled.
******
Liz had decided to walk to the restaurant, as it was such a beautiful day.
As she meandered along the sidewalk, she marveled at how one day could change everything. She smiled to herself, thinking of the possibility of a new beginning with Justin. She couldn't deny that his kiss had affected her in a way wholly different than Kyle's had.
She and he were so alike in so many ways. They enjoyed the same things and had the same sense of humor. He had been there for her when she was ready to go mad, had taken her in and calmed her down when it seemed like she was going to drown under the stress.
She couldn't believe she'd been so dense. They'd both been dense. He had dated a gaggle of women to deny what he was feeling, and she...well she wouldn't even entertain the fact that she was attracted to him. And she had been, that first moment she saw him. It had just been easier to bury that attraction. It was easier to continue to believe in a stupid ideal she'd had since she was a young girl.
It was time to grow up, to realize that love just didn't happen in an instant, at least not the soul-searing love she'd dreamed of.
She'd realized the night before that she could love Justin. He was everything that she had been looking for. Well...almost everything. He hadn't fallen for her right away either. He'd said it himself. He was attracted to her, much like she had been to him. Maybe she'd been wrong all along, that the mystery to real love was not instant recognition, but discovering it along the way.
She lifted her face to the sky, closing her eyes with a smile, enjoying the warmth of the late afternoon sun on her skin.
For the first time in a long time, she really felt as if life was good. Possibilities seemed endless, and today would be a new beginning for her, for both of them.
Her smile stayed on her face for the remainder of the walk, until she turned the corner near the restaurant.
The smile faded to a frown as she noted the police cars and the ambulance sitting in front of the restaurant, the policeman keeping the curious onlookers a safe distance away.
A chill ran up her spine as she approached, weaving her way through the onlookers. Police barricades had been set up to control the curious, and she made her way toward one of them.
Her heart was pounding as she approached a policeman standing watch.
"Excuse me," she said, trying to get his attention. He turned toward her impatiently.
"My friend works here, and I'm supposed to meet him here. What happened?" she asked.
"Lady, I don't know what happened. Someone got shot inside. They're working on him now," he said. "You'll have to step back."
"Where did they send the staff?" she asked, starting to feel panicked.
"Everyone's still here, but you're gonna have to wait," he answered.
She tried to catch a glimpse of what was going on inside, trying to spot Justin, the feeling that something was horribly wrong growing stronger with each passing minute.
The door to the restaurant suddenly banged open, a gurney being rushed out.
"Please, please don't let it be..." she whispered, and then caught sight of the figure the medics were working frantically on.
One medic was pumping furiously on the chest of the victim, another depressing a bag attached to a tube in the victim's mouth, and for a moment she couldn't see anything but blood near the facial area.
But as they wheeled the gurney past, she saw the thick patch of spiky black hair and her worst fears were confirmed.
"Justin!" she screamed, pushing against the barricade, trying to push it out of the way. The police officer saw her and caught her as she tried to move past it.
"Miss! You can't go over there," he said, holding her arm.
She barely heard him, struggling against her captor.
"Let me go!" she cried, tears streaming down her face. "Please, he's....God I was supposed to meet him here. Please! Justin!"
The officer didn't loosen his hold, and she watched as they loaded him into the ambulance.
"Miss, calm down," the cop shouted, and she turned to him.
"How bad is he?" she asked.
"I don't know," he answered.
"Well who does?" she grated, yanking her arm from him as the ambulance pulled away in a blare of sirens.
"Wait here," he said, with a warning look, and walked over to a detective standing near the door. She couldn't hear what the officer said to him, but he motioned to her and they both looked at her. Then the detective came over.
"Please, do you know how bad he is? Do you know where they took him?" she asked, tearfully.
"Are you a girlfriend or something?" he asked, and she nodded.
The detective sighed.
"There was an attempted hit on a commissioner inside. Your boyfriend saved his life," the detective said.
"How bad is he?" she asked again in a trembling voice.
The detective looked at her sympathetically.
"He took a bullet to the head," the man said softly. Liz covered her mouth to stifle a sob.
"They took him to Boston General. They're the best in the city," he said, putting his hand on her shoulder.
"Look, I'm Detective O'Leary. You are...?" he asked.
"Liz Parker," she said tearfully.
"Just wait here for a few minutes, Ms. Parker. I have to go over to the hospital and I'll take you over there, ok? On the way, maybe you can give me some information on next of kin," he said.
She nodded.
She watched the detective walk back into the restaurant. As he opened the door, she caught a glimpse of a fresh pool of blood on the floor, and she stifled another sob.
"Oh Justin," she whispered softly, tears blurring her vision.
What happened didn't surprise her at all. For as long as she'd known him, he'd been the one person who would have done anything to help someone else. Aside from the tutoring, he'd told her more than once how he'd helped out someone at work, whether it was lending someone money he didn't have, covering shifts, or lending a sympathetic ear.
This wasn't fair. This wasn't supposed to be happening to someone like him. Not Justin.
A few moments later, O'Leary came to get her and she followed him to his car.
"Do you happen to have a contact for his parents?" O'Leary asked, as they got into the car.
"They're dead," Liz said quietly, snapping her safety belt.
"Closest living relative?" he asked.
"There's nobody," she said, suddenly realizing the sadness of the whole situation. He had no one.
O'Leary nodded.
"It's not good, is it?" she asked dully, as he maneuvered the car through traffic.
"I'm not a doctor," he hedged. "You're better off asking one of them."
She turned to look at the detective.
"Tell me the truth," she said.
He glanced at her and saw the hard determination on her face and sighed, his lips tightening.
"He was hit pretty bad," he said in a low voice.
Liz's shoulders slumped.
"What happened, exactly?" she asked, looking out the window.
"The Commissioner was having lunch here, and he's been cracking down on the organized crime and the gangs in the area. I guess they were going to send him a message, but unfortunately, your boyfriend got in the way. He saved the Commissioner's life," he said. "He's a hero."
Somehow those words didn't make Liz feel any better, not when Justin was fighting for his life in the hospital.
As soon as they reached the hospital, Liz leapt out of the car and headed for the doors to the Emergency Room. She went straight to the desk to find out what they knew, which turned out wasn't much. All they could tell her was that he was in the OR.
"Let me go see what I can find out," O'Leary said, motioning for her to sit down. He left her there, but she was too wound up too sit, and so she paced the floor.
He was gone much longer than she would have expected. An hour later, he still hadn't returned.
She'd never felt more helpless in her life. She thought about calling Maria or Alex, but there was nothing they could really do, so she kept her eyes trained on the hall down which O'Leary had disappeared, in between checking at the triage desk for any news.
Finally, he appeared down the hall.
She already knew what happened before he opened his mouth. It was written all over his face.
He approached her slowly, and she felt her heart fall, tears springing to her eyes.
He stopped in front of her, seeming at a loss for words.
"He's dead, isn't he?" she whispered.
He nodded.
"I'm sorry," he said.
She slid down the wall numbly, knowing it was the truth, but not wanting to accept it. Tears streamed down her cheeks as she hit the floor, unblinking.
He knelt beside her, putting his hand on her shoulder.
"They did everything they could, but he'd lost so much blood, and there was massive brain damage," he said.
She let her head fall back against the wall, closing her eyes, trying to make herself believe that he was actually gone.
"What happens now?" she asked, her voice flat.
He sighed.
"Since he has no living relatives, the funeral arrangements will be taken care of by the city. The Commissioner Downey has insisted on it, in light of what happened," he said.
She stood.
"I've got to go," she said.
"Why don't you let me drive you home?" O'Leary asked.
She shook her head.
"I just want to be alone," she answered, turning toward the doors and walking outside.
She felt completely numb, as if her heart had turned to ice.
It was late, and the night air had taken on a chill that matched the feeling that had invaded her chest.
She shivered as she started the long walk back to her apartment, hearing the approach of sirens as she left the hospital grounds. She walked as if in a fog, turning automatically onto the blocks she knew she needed to walk to reach the apartment.
"You've got to stop and take a look around to realize the ridiculousness that is' life'."
This was ridiculous. It was ridiculous a light like Justin could be snuffed out so randomly, when he still had so much to give the world. She hadn't even begun to discover half of who he was, and now that chance had been taken away from her forever.
She had told O'Leary that she was Justin's girlfriend, but the truth of the matter was that she would never know the full intensity of what it would be like to be loved by him. She would never know if she could have loved him like that either. She'd only gotten a taste of the possibility of it in the kiss from the night before, but the promise of what might be had been ripped away from her.
Moreover, she'd just lost her best friend here in the city. Lydia was never around. It had been he and she most of the time. She'd only known him a few short months, but it had never been more poignantly clear how important he had become to her in such a short period of time.
And now he was gone, and had no family to mourn him.
The terrible pain of loss threatened to choke her as she bit back a sob. What was she going to do without him?
She didn't know how long it took her to complete her journey back to the apartment. Walking up the stairs, she saw that the apartment was again dark. Lydia had been spending more and more time studying with her boyfriend lately, and most nights, Liz now had the apartment to herself. It appeared she would be alone again tonight, for which she was profoundly grateful.
She locked the door behind her and walked into her room, lying face down on the bed before allowing the wail to escape her lips that she had suppressed all night.
*********
The next few days were a blur. She'd put herself on auto pilot, almost robotic in her smiles and polite responses.
The gunman had escaped, but the Commissioner vowed that he would be caught and brought to justice. But to Liz, it didn't matter any longer. It wouldn't bring him back. It wouldn't give her the chance to see his smile again when he made her laugh. It wouldn't change anything.
Justin's roommates and coworkers all came for the wake, as well as the Mayor and many police officers.
Liz sat in the back, unable to take her eyes off of the closed casket, almost enveloped in flowers, and she grew angry. Angry that someone so young was taken from the world when he had so much to give, angry that he had been taken from her.
Was this what it was like to lose someone you loved? It was too painful. It was too hard. She'd always dreamed of finding the person who would complete her. She didn't know if that person would have been Justin, but the heartbreak she was feeling at his loss was overpowering.
It wasn't worth it, she decided. It wasn't worth feeling as if your heart had died.
Was this the lesson in all of this? If so, it was cruel.
The minister read a touching eulogy that she barely heard, the room filled to capacity. The Commissioner came over to express his sympathies after O'Leary pointed her out to him, and she went through the motions of polite gratitude, but the truth was, all she wanted was to flee the room to be alone. It wasn't Justin lying there in that box, but only a shell of what he once was.
She couldn't bring herself to attend the memorial mass or the service before the interment at the cemetery. It just didn't feel right.
She waited until that afternoon before going to the cemetery alone.
She knelt next to the newly-filled grave touching the dirt as if he would somehow know she was there.
"Why did you do it?" she asked softly, a tear slipping down her cheek.
She smiled sadly.
"I shouldn't ask you why. I already know the answer. It's just the kind of thing you would do," she whispered, laying a small bouquet of flowers on the dirt.
She sighed, her breath hitching.
"I've got to be honest with you. I'm furious at you. You go and tell me you love me, and then something like this happens, and you leave me here hanging," she said with a sad smile.
"We were supposed to have that new beginning," she sobbed. "You were supposed to prove me wrong, that people can fall in love and it doesn't have to be on first sight. And the worst part of it is, I think you might have been right, because I...because I think I could have loved you, Justin. I don't know if it would have been the way you wanted me to, but you made me want to try. I already loved you as my friend, but when you kissed me, I felt something, something special, and I did, I wanted to see what we could be together."
"I didn't think I'd be saying goodbye to you so soon," she said, her voice cracking. "I'll miss you, J, and I'll never forget you."
She stood and took a deep shaky breath, wiping her eyes.
"Goodbye," she whispered.
*************
To be continued on Wednesday.
A/N: Ultimately, I as an author knew that nothing would come of Justin and Liz's attempt at exploring their feelings, but I knew that, and you guys didn't. Sometimes opportunities are lost. That's what I was trying to emphasize with Maria's words.
Even now, I still like Justin. He was sort of modeled after that guy I spoke about that dated my friend. In reality, the real guy was a good guy. He knew he had stronger feelings for the girl at that time than she had for him. She didn't really realize it, and thought it was casual. In fact, she didn't realize it until he hurt her. He was struggling with trying to be what she wanted, and dealing with the strong feelings he had for her. And one night he got stupid drunk and said some hurtful things. It took that for her to realize that he could hurt her like that, that her feelings for him were stronger than she thought. They talked it out, and their relationship was stronger for it.
I know at least one of you isn't going to like me very much after this installment.
This one in particular was hard for me to write, but it was the way I envisioned the story. Serendipity, to me is fate and/or a chain of events that lead to one moment. We already know what that moment is, the moment when Max saves Liz on the subway platform. Some of the events are little moments, and some of them change everything.
See my note at the end of the post.
I Didn't Know I Was Looking For Love – Everything but the Girl
I was alone thinkin' I was just fine
I wasn't lookin' for anyone to be mine
I thought love was just a fabrication
A train that wouldn't stop at my station
Home, alone, that was my consignment
Solitary confinement
So when we met I was getting around you
I didn't know I was looking for love
Until I found you
I didn't know I was looking for love
Until I found you honey
I didn't know I was looking for love
Until I found you baby
I didn't know I was looking for love
I didn't know I was looking for love
Cuz there you stood and I would
Oh I wonder could I say what I felt
And not be misunderstood
A thousand stars came into my system
I never knew how much I had missed them
Slap on my map of my heart you landed
I was coy but you made me candid
And now the planets circle around you
I didn't know I was looking for love
Until I found you
I didn't know I was looking for love
Until I found you baby
I didn't know I was looking for love
Until I found you baby
I didn't know I was looking for love
I didn't know I was looking for love
So we build from here with love the foundation
In a world with tears one consolation
Now you're here there's a full brass band
Playin' in me like a wonderland
And if you left I would be two-foot small
And every tear would be a waterfall
Soundless boundless I surround you
I didn't know I was looking for love
Until I found you
I just didn't know
I didn't know I was looking for love
Until I found you
I didn't know I was looking for love (I just didn't know)
Until I found you
I didn't know I was looking for love
I didn't know I was looking for love
Until I found you baby
I didn't know I was looking for love
Until I found you
I didn't know I was looking for love
Until I found you baby
I didn't know I was looking for love
I didn't know I was looking for love
Until I found you
I didn't know I was looking for love
Until I found you
I didn't know I was looking for love
Until I found you
Part Eleven
Spring 2004
*~Liz~*
Liz left the lights off, pulling her shoes off and throwing them on the floor as she walked into her room. She grabbed her pajamas and pulled the dress over her head with a violent tug, throwing it on the bed before pulling her tank top over her head and yanking her pajama bottoms on.
She padded out to the living room and threw herself on the couch.
She lay there for a long time, trying to figure out what she'd done to deserve that humiliation. She'd counted on Justin, and told him things that she wouldn't trust many people with, and this is what he did to her?
A knock at the door interrupted her thoughts. She wiped her eyes.
"Liz, it's me. Please open the door," Justin said from the other side of the door.
"Go away," she said in a loud voice, getting up from the couch to stand by the door.
"Look Liz, please, just let me in. I'm sorry," he said.
"I bet you are," she said in a bitter voice. "Just go home Justin."
It was quiet outside for a moment.
"I didn't mean it Liz," he said in a low voice.
She pulled the door opened, and glared at him angrily.
"Then why did you do it?" she asked with her hands crossed over her chest. "What did I do to deserve that?"
"Nothing," he said, looking at the cement below his feet.
She let out a harsh sigh and walked away from the door, going back to the spot she'd occupied on the couch.
He followed her in and shut the door.
"I don't have any excuse for how I acted tonight. I had too much to drink and I don't know what came over me," he said.
"Oh so that's supposed to excuse the complete and total humiliation you inflicted on me?" she said, wiping away her tears.
He knelt down next to the couch, trying to meet her eyes, but she wouldn't look at him.
"I'm sorry," he said softly.
"This was your idea. Yours," she said in a clipped tone. "I didn't want to date anyone and you insisted. You tell me that I have to concentrate on other things. You set this up, and then you go and not only embarrass me, but Matt too."
He was silent.
"Why?" she asked. "Why would you do something like that? When I told you those things, I didn't think you would throw it back in my face."
"Look Liz, I didn't even want to be there tonight. And maybe I didn’t want what you told me to be true. Maybe I was hoping that it wasn't true tonight. Maybe I was afraid it was," he said.
"What? What are you talking about?" she said, sitting up, not wanting to admit what she already suspected.
She saw his jaw tighten and he looked away, trying to keep a check on his anger.
"Justin, I know that you want the dream too, but you can't keep dating women like Mikaela and expect to find that," she said.
"Don't you think I know that?" he said tightly.
"I wanted you to be happy Liz, and I thought I was doing the right thing, but tonight, when I saw you laughing with someone else...when I saw him looking at you, I realized I made a mistake," he said.
"Justin, you're not making any sense," she said, shaking her head.
"I wanted it to be me, ok? I wanted you to love me!" he answered.
She froze, in shock.
"I've been in love with you for months. Those women I dated? I didn't sleep with one of them. I didn't even call any of them back, because when I was with them, all I could think about was you, what you were doing, where you were," he said.
"For the longest time, I was afraid of what I was starting to feel," he said, running his hand through his hair in frustration.
"God, when I asked you to be my study partner, I thought you were cute, but I never expected to really like you. I never expected any of it. I hadn't felt anything like that since Jennifer, and....I was afraid to feel that way again, because it practically killed me the last time," he said.
"I wanted to be the one, but I couldn't admit it to myself. Maybe I thought that you would go out with Matt and would see what you were missing with me. But it didn't happen," he said bitterly.
"Matt isn't him," she said quietly. Had she been such a fool? How had she not seen this?
"But neither am I, right?" he asked, looking at her.
"Justin, I..."
She never got to finish, as his lips closed over hers, filled with longing and passion and promise. Her hand slid up his throat to cup his jaw as his fingers gripped her tank top, pulling her closer.
It had been so long since she'd been kissed, and she felt an unaccustomed stirring in her stomach. Her fingers moved to tangle themselves in the spiky hair at the back of his neck. She opened her mouth to his assault, tasting the heady wine as his tongue gently traced hers. He moved to kneel in between her legs on the floor, his hands moving to her hips to pull her closer. His body pressed against hers, strong and warm, and she felt her pulse quicken.
She felt his fingers squeezing her hips, his lips moving over hers as he pillaged her mouth with sensual thrusts of his tongue.
Suddenly, he stiffened, pulling away, his breathing ragged.
"I'm sorry. God, I'm sorry for everything," he said, stumbling to his feet. "I didn't mean to do that. I..."
He didn't finish, moving quickly to the door and opening it.
"Justin, wait!" she said, but the door closed behind him.
She got up from the couch and moved to the window, watching him walk quickly away from the apartment, down the street, running his hand through his hair in frustration.
What was she going to do?
She sank to the floor, leaning up against the wall underneath the window, pulling her hair away from her face.
One of her best friends was in love with her, and she didn't know how to feel about it.
Any other girl would have jumped at the chance to be with Justin. Yet after he initially approached her in class, she hadn't thought of him that way, at least not consciously.
What was wrong with her?
He was so smart, and funny and he was beautiful. He was in love with her.
In that moment, she realized how special that was, and how rare that someone like Justin could love someone like her.
Maria's words came back to her.
"Liz, I’m going to say something, and then I promise I’ll drop it from now on. Life is short, and making the grade is great, but you have to live a little. You know, take a chance. You said it yourself in your speech, that you never know what could happen..."
Maybe that was worth taking a chance on seeing what happened between them. Maybe it was worth risking the friendship they had, because she was pretty sure that after tonight it would never be the same. Not after he'd told her how he felt. Not after he'd kissed her, and stirred emotion in her that she didn't know she'd had. She didn't want to lose him.
She waited awhile, until she was sure he was probably home, and dialed his number. The phone rang four times, and the machine picked up.
"Justin, it's me. Please pick up the phone if you're there," she said, and paused for a few seconds. She sighed when the receiver didn't pick up.
"I need to talk to you," she said softly. "That kiss...that kiss was amazing, and I wanted to tell you..."
She heard the receiver pick up.
"Liz," he said quietly.
"Hey," she answered with a smile.
"I'm sorry for running off like that. I just...I got scared at what your reaction would be. I mean I laid all of that stuff on you, and after what I did to you tonight-" he said.
"Justin, I want to try it," she said.
"Try what?" he asked.
"Us. I want to try us. You've been so...amazing over the past couple of months and I just, I don't want to lose you. I've been so stupid, I should have seen it," she said.
"No, You wouldn’t have," he said quickly. "I didn't exactly advertise how I was feeling. That made what I did tonight even more unfair."
But maybe he had, and she just hadn't seen it.
"I don't have to put on an act when I'm around you. I know I can tell you anything, even the most reviled, disgusting thoughts that go through 20 something male brains and I know you won't hate me for it," he said. "So, if you're asking me why I'm nice to you, it's because I want to be. Because you're probably the best friend I've got here in Boston, and well because...I want to."
He'd told her in his own way, but she'd been oblivious.
"Let's try this J," she said. "If it doesn't work, it doesn't work, but you...you are one of the most important people in my life. More important than even I realized. What you thought mattered to me tonight, and that Mikaela, well don't even get me started on what I thought of her."
"Jealous?" he asked, hopefully.
"Yeah, I guess maybe I was," she admitted.
"Good, because I wanted to rip every hair out of Matt's head," he said with a wry laugh.
"He's your friend," she said with a chuckle.
"He was with you," he answered quietly.
Liz was silent, realizing the meaning behind the words.
"So, where do we go from here?" she asked.
"I don't know," he admitted. "We can just...take things as they come. Why don't you meet me at the restaurant after I get off of work, say, tomorrow at five? We can talk."
"I'd like that," she said.
"Ok then," he said. "So I'll see you tomorrow then?"
"I'll be there," she answered.
"Sweet dreams Liz," he said.
"You too, J," she said.
She hung up the phone with a sigh and smiled.
******
Liz had decided to walk to the restaurant, as it was such a beautiful day.
As she meandered along the sidewalk, she marveled at how one day could change everything. She smiled to herself, thinking of the possibility of a new beginning with Justin. She couldn't deny that his kiss had affected her in a way wholly different than Kyle's had.
She and he were so alike in so many ways. They enjoyed the same things and had the same sense of humor. He had been there for her when she was ready to go mad, had taken her in and calmed her down when it seemed like she was going to drown under the stress.
She couldn't believe she'd been so dense. They'd both been dense. He had dated a gaggle of women to deny what he was feeling, and she...well she wouldn't even entertain the fact that she was attracted to him. And she had been, that first moment she saw him. It had just been easier to bury that attraction. It was easier to continue to believe in a stupid ideal she'd had since she was a young girl.
It was time to grow up, to realize that love just didn't happen in an instant, at least not the soul-searing love she'd dreamed of.
She'd realized the night before that she could love Justin. He was everything that she had been looking for. Well...almost everything. He hadn't fallen for her right away either. He'd said it himself. He was attracted to her, much like she had been to him. Maybe she'd been wrong all along, that the mystery to real love was not instant recognition, but discovering it along the way.
She lifted her face to the sky, closing her eyes with a smile, enjoying the warmth of the late afternoon sun on her skin.
For the first time in a long time, she really felt as if life was good. Possibilities seemed endless, and today would be a new beginning for her, for both of them.
Her smile stayed on her face for the remainder of the walk, until she turned the corner near the restaurant.
The smile faded to a frown as she noted the police cars and the ambulance sitting in front of the restaurant, the policeman keeping the curious onlookers a safe distance away.
A chill ran up her spine as she approached, weaving her way through the onlookers. Police barricades had been set up to control the curious, and she made her way toward one of them.
Her heart was pounding as she approached a policeman standing watch.
"Excuse me," she said, trying to get his attention. He turned toward her impatiently.
"My friend works here, and I'm supposed to meet him here. What happened?" she asked.
"Lady, I don't know what happened. Someone got shot inside. They're working on him now," he said. "You'll have to step back."
"Where did they send the staff?" she asked, starting to feel panicked.
"Everyone's still here, but you're gonna have to wait," he answered.
She tried to catch a glimpse of what was going on inside, trying to spot Justin, the feeling that something was horribly wrong growing stronger with each passing minute.
The door to the restaurant suddenly banged open, a gurney being rushed out.
"Please, please don't let it be..." she whispered, and then caught sight of the figure the medics were working frantically on.
One medic was pumping furiously on the chest of the victim, another depressing a bag attached to a tube in the victim's mouth, and for a moment she couldn't see anything but blood near the facial area.
But as they wheeled the gurney past, she saw the thick patch of spiky black hair and her worst fears were confirmed.
"Justin!" she screamed, pushing against the barricade, trying to push it out of the way. The police officer saw her and caught her as she tried to move past it.
"Miss! You can't go over there," he said, holding her arm.
She barely heard him, struggling against her captor.
"Let me go!" she cried, tears streaming down her face. "Please, he's....God I was supposed to meet him here. Please! Justin!"
The officer didn't loosen his hold, and she watched as they loaded him into the ambulance.
"Miss, calm down," the cop shouted, and she turned to him.
"How bad is he?" she asked.
"I don't know," he answered.
"Well who does?" she grated, yanking her arm from him as the ambulance pulled away in a blare of sirens.
"Wait here," he said, with a warning look, and walked over to a detective standing near the door. She couldn't hear what the officer said to him, but he motioned to her and they both looked at her. Then the detective came over.
"Please, do you know how bad he is? Do you know where they took him?" she asked, tearfully.
"Are you a girlfriend or something?" he asked, and she nodded.
The detective sighed.
"There was an attempted hit on a commissioner inside. Your boyfriend saved his life," the detective said.
"How bad is he?" she asked again in a trembling voice.
The detective looked at her sympathetically.
"He took a bullet to the head," the man said softly. Liz covered her mouth to stifle a sob.
"They took him to Boston General. They're the best in the city," he said, putting his hand on her shoulder.
"Look, I'm Detective O'Leary. You are...?" he asked.
"Liz Parker," she said tearfully.
"Just wait here for a few minutes, Ms. Parker. I have to go over to the hospital and I'll take you over there, ok? On the way, maybe you can give me some information on next of kin," he said.
She nodded.
She watched the detective walk back into the restaurant. As he opened the door, she caught a glimpse of a fresh pool of blood on the floor, and she stifled another sob.
"Oh Justin," she whispered softly, tears blurring her vision.
What happened didn't surprise her at all. For as long as she'd known him, he'd been the one person who would have done anything to help someone else. Aside from the tutoring, he'd told her more than once how he'd helped out someone at work, whether it was lending someone money he didn't have, covering shifts, or lending a sympathetic ear.
This wasn't fair. This wasn't supposed to be happening to someone like him. Not Justin.
A few moments later, O'Leary came to get her and she followed him to his car.
"Do you happen to have a contact for his parents?" O'Leary asked, as they got into the car.
"They're dead," Liz said quietly, snapping her safety belt.
"Closest living relative?" he asked.
"There's nobody," she said, suddenly realizing the sadness of the whole situation. He had no one.
O'Leary nodded.
"It's not good, is it?" she asked dully, as he maneuvered the car through traffic.
"I'm not a doctor," he hedged. "You're better off asking one of them."
She turned to look at the detective.
"Tell me the truth," she said.
He glanced at her and saw the hard determination on her face and sighed, his lips tightening.
"He was hit pretty bad," he said in a low voice.
Liz's shoulders slumped.
"What happened, exactly?" she asked, looking out the window.
"The Commissioner was having lunch here, and he's been cracking down on the organized crime and the gangs in the area. I guess they were going to send him a message, but unfortunately, your boyfriend got in the way. He saved the Commissioner's life," he said. "He's a hero."
Somehow those words didn't make Liz feel any better, not when Justin was fighting for his life in the hospital.
As soon as they reached the hospital, Liz leapt out of the car and headed for the doors to the Emergency Room. She went straight to the desk to find out what they knew, which turned out wasn't much. All they could tell her was that he was in the OR.
"Let me go see what I can find out," O'Leary said, motioning for her to sit down. He left her there, but she was too wound up too sit, and so she paced the floor.
He was gone much longer than she would have expected. An hour later, he still hadn't returned.
She'd never felt more helpless in her life. She thought about calling Maria or Alex, but there was nothing they could really do, so she kept her eyes trained on the hall down which O'Leary had disappeared, in between checking at the triage desk for any news.
Finally, he appeared down the hall.
She already knew what happened before he opened his mouth. It was written all over his face.
He approached her slowly, and she felt her heart fall, tears springing to her eyes.
He stopped in front of her, seeming at a loss for words.
"He's dead, isn't he?" she whispered.
He nodded.
"I'm sorry," he said.
She slid down the wall numbly, knowing it was the truth, but not wanting to accept it. Tears streamed down her cheeks as she hit the floor, unblinking.
He knelt beside her, putting his hand on her shoulder.
"They did everything they could, but he'd lost so much blood, and there was massive brain damage," he said.
She let her head fall back against the wall, closing her eyes, trying to make herself believe that he was actually gone.
"What happens now?" she asked, her voice flat.
He sighed.
"Since he has no living relatives, the funeral arrangements will be taken care of by the city. The Commissioner Downey has insisted on it, in light of what happened," he said.
She stood.
"I've got to go," she said.
"Why don't you let me drive you home?" O'Leary asked.
She shook her head.
"I just want to be alone," she answered, turning toward the doors and walking outside.
She felt completely numb, as if her heart had turned to ice.
It was late, and the night air had taken on a chill that matched the feeling that had invaded her chest.
She shivered as she started the long walk back to her apartment, hearing the approach of sirens as she left the hospital grounds. She walked as if in a fog, turning automatically onto the blocks she knew she needed to walk to reach the apartment.
"You've got to stop and take a look around to realize the ridiculousness that is' life'."
This was ridiculous. It was ridiculous a light like Justin could be snuffed out so randomly, when he still had so much to give the world. She hadn't even begun to discover half of who he was, and now that chance had been taken away from her forever.
She had told O'Leary that she was Justin's girlfriend, but the truth of the matter was that she would never know the full intensity of what it would be like to be loved by him. She would never know if she could have loved him like that either. She'd only gotten a taste of the possibility of it in the kiss from the night before, but the promise of what might be had been ripped away from her.
Moreover, she'd just lost her best friend here in the city. Lydia was never around. It had been he and she most of the time. She'd only known him a few short months, but it had never been more poignantly clear how important he had become to her in such a short period of time.
And now he was gone, and had no family to mourn him.
The terrible pain of loss threatened to choke her as she bit back a sob. What was she going to do without him?
She didn't know how long it took her to complete her journey back to the apartment. Walking up the stairs, she saw that the apartment was again dark. Lydia had been spending more and more time studying with her boyfriend lately, and most nights, Liz now had the apartment to herself. It appeared she would be alone again tonight, for which she was profoundly grateful.
She locked the door behind her and walked into her room, lying face down on the bed before allowing the wail to escape her lips that she had suppressed all night.
*********
The next few days were a blur. She'd put herself on auto pilot, almost robotic in her smiles and polite responses.
The gunman had escaped, but the Commissioner vowed that he would be caught and brought to justice. But to Liz, it didn't matter any longer. It wouldn't bring him back. It wouldn't give her the chance to see his smile again when he made her laugh. It wouldn't change anything.
Justin's roommates and coworkers all came for the wake, as well as the Mayor and many police officers.
Liz sat in the back, unable to take her eyes off of the closed casket, almost enveloped in flowers, and she grew angry. Angry that someone so young was taken from the world when he had so much to give, angry that he had been taken from her.
Was this what it was like to lose someone you loved? It was too painful. It was too hard. She'd always dreamed of finding the person who would complete her. She didn't know if that person would have been Justin, but the heartbreak she was feeling at his loss was overpowering.
It wasn't worth it, she decided. It wasn't worth feeling as if your heart had died.
Was this the lesson in all of this? If so, it was cruel.
The minister read a touching eulogy that she barely heard, the room filled to capacity. The Commissioner came over to express his sympathies after O'Leary pointed her out to him, and she went through the motions of polite gratitude, but the truth was, all she wanted was to flee the room to be alone. It wasn't Justin lying there in that box, but only a shell of what he once was.
She couldn't bring herself to attend the memorial mass or the service before the interment at the cemetery. It just didn't feel right.
She waited until that afternoon before going to the cemetery alone.
She knelt next to the newly-filled grave touching the dirt as if he would somehow know she was there.
"Why did you do it?" she asked softly, a tear slipping down her cheek.
She smiled sadly.
"I shouldn't ask you why. I already know the answer. It's just the kind of thing you would do," she whispered, laying a small bouquet of flowers on the dirt.
She sighed, her breath hitching.
"I've got to be honest with you. I'm furious at you. You go and tell me you love me, and then something like this happens, and you leave me here hanging," she said with a sad smile.
"We were supposed to have that new beginning," she sobbed. "You were supposed to prove me wrong, that people can fall in love and it doesn't have to be on first sight. And the worst part of it is, I think you might have been right, because I...because I think I could have loved you, Justin. I don't know if it would have been the way you wanted me to, but you made me want to try. I already loved you as my friend, but when you kissed me, I felt something, something special, and I did, I wanted to see what we could be together."
"I didn't think I'd be saying goodbye to you so soon," she said, her voice cracking. "I'll miss you, J, and I'll never forget you."
She stood and took a deep shaky breath, wiping her eyes.
"Goodbye," she whispered.
*************
To be continued on Wednesday.
A/N: Ultimately, I as an author knew that nothing would come of Justin and Liz's attempt at exploring their feelings, but I knew that, and you guys didn't. Sometimes opportunities are lost. That's what I was trying to emphasize with Maria's words.
Even now, I still like Justin. He was sort of modeled after that guy I spoke about that dated my friend. In reality, the real guy was a good guy. He knew he had stronger feelings for the girl at that time than she had for him. She didn't really realize it, and thought it was casual. In fact, she didn't realize it until he hurt her. He was struggling with trying to be what she wanted, and dealing with the strong feelings he had for her. And one night he got stupid drunk and said some hurtful things. It took that for her to realize that he could hurt her like that, that her feelings for him were stronger than she thought. They talked it out, and their relationship was stronger for it.
Part 12
You know, Matt hadn't even really occurred to me again while writing this. I was so caught up in the emotions of writing about Justin, and I just sort of thought that the date was uncomfortable, and that was the end of it. I did add a sentence or two though. 
This is the last part from Liz's POV. Sunday, we move on to Max.
Life In the Storm - Edwin McCain
The rip of thunder it splits the day
It's jagged proof for the strength of chaos
There's a strange music in the rumble
It's like the anger and love's loss
So you ask me to seek shelter
And with you I know it's safe and warm
But my dreams are in the torrent
And my life is in the storm
The message burned upon my skin
It weighs heavy on the sublime
I wouldn't change my way even if I could
So I run as fast and dream as hard
And sometimes just pay it no mind
And drink as much from this bittersweet well
Before I run dry on time
So you ask me to seek shelter
And with you I know it's safe and warm
But my dreams are in the torrent
And my life is in the storm
So don't tell be your heart's desires
Unless I begin my apologies now
`Cause I don't understand that I would love again
And I'm damn sure that I wouldn't know how
So you ask me to seek shelter
And with you I know it's safe and warm
But my dreams are in the torrent
And my life is in the storm
So you ask me to seek shelter
And with you I know it's safe and warm
But my dreams are in the torrent
And my life is in the storm
Part Twelve
Summer – 2004
*~Liz~*
She'd deliberately avoided going home that summer at all.
Matt had called her a few times, but it was awkward for both of them. Their only real link had been Justin, and even talking to each other was a painful reminder of him. There was only so much they could talk about.
Liz had told Maria and Alex that she wasn’t coming home after breaking it to her parents.
When she’d told Maria about Justin, the one person who she always knew was never at a loss for words suddenly had nothing to say. She wanted to come out to New York, but Liz insisted she would be too busy. Her parents hadn’t known much about Justin, other than he was a friend of hers, but she couldn’t bear to go home for the summer, dwelling on it. At least here, she could keep herself busy with her class work. As hard as it was to be here, it would have been worse at home, having to explain, having to endure the sympathetic looks from her parents and Maria. But Alex was different.
He had insisted on coming up to visit her for a few days before he went home. She'd been grateful for his shoulder to cry on.
She knew he wouldn’t push her, and she was glad he was here.
"God Alex, this whole thing is so messed up," she said, leaning on his shoulder as they watched TV the first night he'd arrived.
"I know," he said, leaning over to kiss her on the top of her head. "Don't you wonder sometimes at the insanity of this big plan that supposedly exists out there?"
"I think it sucks," she said, looking at the TV screen, but not really seeing it.
He sighed.
"I'm sorry about what happened Liz," he said.
Her lips tightened as she tried to reign in her emotions.
"I've just been thinking to myself like, what if he'd called in sick that day? Or if only someone had asked him to take the garbage out back? Why did it have to be him?" she asked.
Alex leaned back and studied her.
"So...what was the deal with you and him? I know you were friends, but Maria said you mentioned him a lot when you spoke to her. Was there something more going on?" he asked.
She shrugged.
"I'll never know now," she said sadly, shrugging.
"I don't know, it was weird, like we hit it off right away, and I felt as comfortable with him as I do you and Maria, and I've known you guys forever. I didn't even think about anything romantic in the beginning. I guess I just thought that he was out of my league. Plus, he was dating all of these like...really well-endowed girls, and that's *so* not me," she said with a little laugh.
"So..." Alex prompted.
"We'd only been hanging out, and I never really got the impression that he was interested in me. I mean, I was just grateful to have someone to hang out and study with. But then one night, he was talking about setting me up with his friend, and I insisted that we double date. He got really drunk and it was such a disaster. He was acting like an ass, and he embarrassed me by telling my date something I'd told him in confidence, and I got upset and left. He came here and told me why he'd been like that. He told me he'd been in love with me for months, and he kissed me...and it was like I woke up and realized that maybe there could be something between us," she said.
She paused, feeling tears blurring her eyes once again.
"We were supposed to meet to talk after he finished work the next day, but he never made it off his shift," she said.
“You’re going to be all right, Liz,” Alex said with conviction.
“I know, that’s the whole point,” she said.
“I am going to be all right! I can get up and go to classes tomorrow. I am going to graduate early. I can decide to do nothing but lie around all day, but I’m here. He isn’t. He’s lying in a grave because someone he didn’t even know had an enemy, and it makes me so angry!” she said, her fist coming down hard on the pillow lying beside her on the couch.
Alex didn’t say anything. She knew he had no words to make it any better, or to make it go away, and that was what she loved most about him. He would just be there, no questions asked, with no sympathetic words that she didn’t need to hear.
“What if he was it, Alex? What if he was the one, and I blew it?” she whispered. “God, I didn’t even have time to realize that I had feelings for him, and now he’s gone.”
Alex sighed, and pulled her closer.
“I don’t know if he was the one Liz. But I do know that you’ll find what you’re looking for someday, and it’ll be special. You’re too special,” he said.
She wished she could believe that.
*******
The Holidays – 2004
After Alex left, she immersed herself in schoolwork, desperately trying to block out the memories of the times she and Justin had spent so many late nights poring over notes. For most of the summer, she literally studied until her head dropped on the table in exhaustion. Her grades had excelled and only served to push her further toward her goal of early graduation.
The summer session ended and soon the leaves were falling from the trees. She visited Justin’s grave often, talking to him about the nonsense they used to laugh about, hoping that he somehow heard her. It was cathartic for her, and on the nice weekend days, she’d spend hours there under the shady tree that grew adjacent to his gravestone. She knew if her parents found out, they would tell her it was unhealthy, but she didn’t really think it was. For her, it was a way of letting go.
She knew she’d have to go home for Thanksgiving break, and she admitted that she missed everyone, her parents, Maria and Alex, and even Kyle.
She’d finished her midterms and suddenly, for the first time in almost a year, she was going home.
The trip was too short, and she realized just how much she’d missed her parents. Her mother was practically in tears when she came in from the airport with her father.
It was strange to be back in Roswell. Not much had changed, but again she had the sensation that everything seemed somehow smaller. She supposed that it had something to do with her acclimation to living in a large city, but it was a welcome change.
“God Lizzie, you’ve gotten so thin!” her mother scolded. “Don’t you eat?”
“Mom!” she said indignantly, sitting down in a booth. “I eat, ok?”
“Well it sure doesn’t look like it,” her mother said critically.
“She looks great Nancy,” her father said, winking at her. “Just be glad she’s finally decided to come home for a few days.”
“Dad, you know why I didn’t come home,” she said with a sigh. “I have to keep on track.”
Her mother went to get them some coffee, and her father sat down next to her in the booth, lacing his fingers together, studying them.
“I know you don’t want to talk about it, so I’ll only say it once,” he said quietly. “I’m sorry about your friend Justin.”
“I know,” she said, lowering her head. “I’m sorry that I kind of cut you off on the phone then, Dad. It’s just been a little...hard, you know?”
He nodded.
“Yeah, I know. But I didn’t want you to think I didn’t care when I didn’t mention it again. Your mother and I just thought it was better to give you some time to deal with it,” he said.
She looked over at her father, really seeing him for the first time in a long time.
“You know I love you Dad, right?” she asked.
He smiled.
“Of course I do,” he said. “And I never thought I could be prouder of you than when you made valedictorian, but you’ve outdone yourself, Lizzie. The Dean’s List three semesters in a row? That’s just amazing.”
“Thanks” she said with a self-conscious smile.
Just then her mother came back with the coffee, and sat down across from them.
“Your father’s right, Liz. I can’t tell you how proud the both of us are,” she said quietly. “But...I’m glad you’re home.”
“Me too,” Liz said, reaching across the table to take her hand.
“I missed you guys,” she said.
“Us too. I wish we could have come to Boston to visit, but with the restaurant and the expenses...” she said.
“I know Mom,” she answered. “You guys are doing more than enough just helping me out. I couldn’t have done it without either of you.”
Her parents beamed at her proudly, and in that moment, she felt home again. She’d always known how lucky she was, but never had she felt it so keenly.
She was now more resolved than ever to make them proud.
*******
The long weekend was a whirlwind with the holiday and trying to catch up with Maria and Alex. She’d spent the holiday with her parents, eating a quiet early dinner in the small apartment she’d called home above the Crashdown. Then they opened up the restaurant for those who were alone on the holidays. Liz was more than happy to help out. It brought back fond memories of when she was in high school, working as a waitress. She didn’t realize that she’d missed it so much. At the time, she’d hated it.
She found her eyes travelling to the UFO Center across the street, looking for a jeep, even knowing that it was closed. She wondered how Max Evans was. The last time she'd seen him, he looked like she felt right now.
He was most likely spending the holiday with his family, like every other person in town, she thought dryly. The UFO Center was closed just like every other business in town.
Maria came in as they were closing with a grin.
“Hey you,” she said, wrapping her arms around Liz.
“I tried to call last night,” Liz said.
“Yeah well, Mom had this stupid idea that we should re-arrange the store before the big holiday rush. Like anyone’s going to want alien crap for Christmas,” she said with a snort, and Liz laughed.
“So what are we doing tonight?” Maria asked, excited.
“It’s your call,” Liz answered, not really caring what they did. She was just happy to finally see Maria, who was obviously in better spirits than she was the last time she was home.
“Alex said that we should just decide and then he’ll meet us,” Maria said.
Liz nodded.
“What about a movie?” she asked.
“Fine with me, but then we catch up afterwards, ‘k?” Maria said.
“Of course,” Liz said with a grin.
She called out to her parents to tell them she was leaving, and after calling Alex, they decided to walk to the theater.
They walked arm in arm, much as they had when they were younger. It didn’t matter how long they’d been apart, they just fell into their old routine as if Liz had never left, and she was grateful for it.
“Alex said that he wants to see Matrix Four,” Maria said with a bored sigh.
“Oh come on, I heard it was supposed to be good,” Liz said.
“Sorry babe, Keanu just doesn’t do it for me,” Maria retorted dryly.
“So,” Liz said leaning into Maria, with a grin. “Who is doing it for you?”
“Oh please,” Maria snorted. ‘Do you actually think I would even look at anyone in the town? Get real. I’ve got plans.”
“Oh, this sounds interesting,” Liz said with a grin.
“You are looking at the Karaoke Queen of this boring county,” Maria said with a smug smile.
“Are you kidding me?” Liz said, jumping up and down excitedly. “You won the regional?”
Maria grimaced at her.
“Calm down Liz, it’s not like I suddenly became Celine Dion or something,” she said.
“I have no freakin’ social life to speak of, so just humor me and let me be excited for you, ok?” Liz asked with a warning look, and Maria couldn’t help but laugh.
“Girl, you are just sad,” she said with a chuckle. “Anyway, that’s not the good news. The good news is, it got me a job singing in Hondo...a paying job at a nightclub.”
“Oh Maria, I’m so happy for you!” Liz exclaimed, and she truly was.
“Well, it’s a step in the right direction anyway,” Maria said with a wave of her hand. “I did a lot of thinking after you left the last time, and I decided that if this is my dream, I am going to go for it.”
They reached the theater, and Alex was already waiting for them.
“Come on ladies, Morpheus waits for no one!” he said, in mock impatience.
“Hey Alex,” Liz said with a grin, running into his arms.
“Hey you,” he said, pulling back to look at her. “You look...good.”
“Don’t sound so convincing,” Liz said dryly.
“Nah, it just looks like keeping that Dean’s List status is taking its toll on you,” he said, concerned.
“I’m fine,” she said, hitting him in the arm. “Come on, let’s go in. We’re going to miss the beginning.”
Liz thoroughly enjoyed the movie, caught between Alex’s exuberance and Maria’s sarcastic commentary, and by the time they left, she was practically in tears from laughing. She missed that.
“Coffee,” she groaned when she could breathe once again. “I need coffee.”
They agreed to go to the coffee shop, and soon were settled in with their hot mugs.
“So Liz,” Maria finally said, her expression serious, “how are you handling the whole Justin thing?”
She looked at Alex, quiet for a moment before she shrugged.
“I miss him,” she said, as way of explanation.
“But are you ok?” Maria asked. “You don’t talk about it when you call, and I was afraid to ask. I didn’t want to upset you or anything, but I’ve been worried.”
“Yeah,” Liz said after a pause. “I’m ok.”
Maria didn’t push the matter, and the conversation turned toward the local town gossip, always a safe topic.
Maria prattled on about her former classmates, but Liz found her mind wandering as she gazed out the window.
She felt her breath catch in her throat as she looked across the street and saw the last person she expected to.
He was walking alone, his hands shoved in his pockets, seeming lost in his own thoughts. She once again felt that familiar flip in her stomach as her eyes followed him.
He’d gotten thinner, his clothes seeming to hang a bit, so unlike the way he’d looked in high school.
Even from her spot in the booth, she could see that same heavy posture he’d carried the last time she’d seen him, alone in the park.
Suddenly he paused and turned toward the coffee shop. His eyes met hers from across the street and time seemed to freeze.
There was desolation in his face that she'd only seen mirrored in her own after Justin died, the sadness of feeling that you are truly alone in the world.
Her throat tightened and she swallowed hard, unable to tear her gaze from his, unable to ignore the isolation she saw in his expression.
“Liz?” Maria said, and she reluctantly tore her eyes away from the window to look at Maria.
“Hmm?” she asked.
“Are you all right?” Maria asked, and she noticed Alex was studying her with a concerned expression.
“I’m fine,” she said. "Sorry."
"You were spacing out there for a minute," Maria said.
"I guess I'm more tired than I thought," she said, turning to look out the window again, but he had continued on. Her eyes followed his retreating back. She had a wild urge to follow him, to say something to him...to say anything. But the moment had passed.
She sighed.
“I think the rat race is just catching up with me. Maybe I should call it a night,” she said.
“Ok,” Maria said slowly, with a worried frown.
“I’m fine, I promise,” Liz assured them.
They paid their check, and walked to Alex’s car.
He drove her back to the Crashdown and after saying goodnight and promising to call them in the morning, she went in and walked upstairs to her room.
As she undressed, she realized how tired she actually was.
It felt good to lie in her old bed, with the familiar sounds of her alarm clock and the wind against her window, and soon she was dozing.
But her mind wouldn’t let go of Max Evans.
He looked as if he’d been carrying too much on his shoulders.
Her last thought before she dropped off to sleep was that maybe he and she weren’t so different after all.
*******
That Sunday, she bade a tearful farewell to her parents at the airport, promising she would be home for Christmas. This time it was a bit more emotional. This time she wished that she had had just a few more days, but as she sat on the plane, she consoled herself with the fact that she would be back in less than a month.
She couldn’t have known that it would be the last time she would see them.
********
The call came on the evening of December 16th, the night she'd finished her last final. She'd just settled in on the couch to watch TV, when the phone rang.
She was expecting it to be Maria, even as late as it was. Maria had promised to lay off the calls that week so that she could study, but she was supposed to call after her gig when she got home, which usually around 3 am her time.
"Maria, you should just go to bed," Liz said without waiting to hear who it was.
"Uh...hello, I'm looking for Liz," a male voice said.
Liz frowned.
"This is she, who am I speaking with?" she asked.
"Hi Liz," he said with a sigh. "It's Jim Valenti."
Liz felt as if her heart jumped into her throat.
"Hi Mr. Valenti," she said, swallowing hard. "What can I do for you? Is something wrong?"
There was silence on the other end of the phone for a moment.
"Liz, I don't know how to tell you this. There's been an accident, a fire...."
******
And so for the second time in a little more than 6 months, she was standing in a cemetery, feeling as if her heart had died. She felt frozen, completely numb. She hadn't even been able to cry.
The Sheriff had told her that her parents had probably died of smoke inhalation long before the flames hit their bedroom. But that was little consolation to her now.
The fire had destroyed the restaurant, and there was extreme smoke and water damage to the apartment above. The building would have to be gutted and rebuilt, because the structure was no longer safe. It didn't matter anyway. That restaurant had been her parents' dream and when they died, it died along with them.
The past few days staying with Maria and her mother had been hard. All she wanted to do was to curl up into a ball, to disappear, but she had to keep up appearances. She remained holed up in their house, because she couldn't stand the sympathetic looks she received whenever she went out. She just couldn't handle it.
There was a quick reading of her parents will and estate, at which Liz discovered that she could finish school with the insurance money from the policy they'd taken out on themselves and the restaurant.
The wake had been packed to the brim, and she struggled against the feelings of nausea in the pit of her stomach, the whole thing reminding her of Justin's viewing.
The caskets were closed, just as Justin's had been. They were both surrounded with a sea of flowers from well-meaning people. Again she'd had to put on her brave face, smiling and thanking people for coming, when she felt as if she were dying inside.
Because she was truly alone. She had Maria and Alex, but it wasn't the same. She didn't even want to be around them for the first time in her life. She wanted nothing more than to go somewhere and lick her wounds alone.
She'd always counted on her parents being there, but they were gone, and the security of being "daughter" was gone now too. They were supposed to be around to see her graduate with honors, to see her get the job she'd always dreamed of. She was supposed to be the one to take care of them when they got older. She wasn't supposed to lose both of them at once.
It was a gray day, very appropriate, she thought, as she listened to the priest offering meaningless words of comfort. She kept her head lowered, unable and unwilling to face the sympathetic faces of the friends and patrons who had come to pay their respects.
She prayed for the moment he would finish, when the service would be over. She felt Maria's arm around her, and the sympathetic hand of her mother Amy on her back. Alex stood stoically on the other side of her, a picture of the silent support he had always been.
She felt as if a lead weight were sitting on her chest. What would she do now? For the first time in her life, she wanted to flee Roswell and never look back.
Finally, the priest finished speaking, and Liz turned to her friends.
"Maria, can I borrow your car?" she asked in a low voice. "Maybe Alex can take you and Amy home."
Alex nodded.
"I don't know if that's such a good idea Liz," Amy said shaking her head. "Where are you going to go?"
"Nowhere," she said. "I just want to stay for awhile. I just need some time alone."
Amy sighed, and Maria gave her a hug.
"Are you sure you don't want me stay with you?" Maria asked.
Liz nodded.
"I just need to get my thoughts together, and to say goodbye," she said quietly.
"We'll be waiting at home," Amy said.
Home, Liz thought bitterly. She had no home now. No home, no parents, nothing.
She pasted a smile on her face, and kissed Amy.
"Thanks," she said, and turned to Alex, giving him a squeeze.
"Will you call me?" he asked. "I have to get back to take a final, but I'll be back here on the 23rd."
She nodded.
"Thanks for coming Alex," she said.
"You know I wanted to be here," he answered.
"I know," she whispered, kissing his cheek before stepping back.
"I'll see you in a little while, she said, looking at Maria and Amy.
People started to come forward to pay their respects and to say goodbye, and Amy, Maria and Alex left her among them.
It seemed like forever, but in reality it had been less than a half-hour before everyone was gone, and she was finally alone.
She stared at the adjacent holes in the ground wondering if she would ever be able to feel anything normal again. Her heart had been beaten too badly in the past few months, and she was afraid it had completely died, and in some ways, she wished she could just die along with it.
She hung her head and closed her eyes, wishing that she would wake up and that it would all be a bad dream. But she knew it wasn't going to happen. They were gone, and they were never coming back.
She lifted her head and sighed, catching sight of two figures a distance away, and she stilled.
It was Max, and he wasn't alone. He watched his retreating back, the smaller form of Tess following behind him.
What had he been doing here? He hadn't come to the wake or the church service, so why was he here?
She supposed it didn't matter now. It was time she closed this chapter on Roswell and that part of her life. There was nothing here for her now.
All of the ideals she'd had in the end had all been wrong. She vowed not to let anyone else get close to her. It was too painful to lose them.
*******
That had been her plan, to disconnect from everything in Roswell. She left the day after wanting nothing more than to hole herself up in her room in Boston. And she did, at least until Maria and Alex had showed up.
It made her realize that she couldn't give them up. She loved them too much. Once again they had come through for her, and she knew that this time, if they hadn't come, she would not have made it. She probably would have lain in bed until someone came to cart her away.
Alex went back to school, and Maria helped her pick up the pieces of what was left of her life forcing her to finish what she started. She constantly reminded her that this is what her parents would have wanted for her, that she wasn't doing any service to their memory by "crapping out", as she'd so aptly put it.
If she were honest with herself, she had had every intention of crapping out. Her heart had seen too much sadness in the year that had passed, and she felt she just didn't have the energy to get up and do what she needed to in order to get on with her life.
Maria's mother handled the sale of the lot where the Crashdown stood, and Maria made sure she got her butt out of bed every day to get to her classes.
Eventually, it started to get a little easier, but her heart hadn't truly healed from the trauma of her sophomore year.
It was largely because of Maria that she was where she came to be in this moment, here in New York, stationed in a rewarding job at Sloane Kettering.
Her heart had been in stasis, the painful pangs re-emerging only near the times she ha lost those she cared about until now, until Max Evans crash-landed into her life a week ago and healed her body, and awakened her soul.
And with that healing came a painful flood of emotions she’d long suppressed. But along with them came a sense of hope, of a new beginning, of a second chance.
To her, he had always been the quiet, mysterious, beautiful boy she’d longed for from afar, a boy who had never really been real to her. But there was nothing more real than the man lying in her bed at this very moment.
He was the boy she’d never said more than a few words to outside of class, and also the boy whose few words had comforted her when no one else’s could.
He was the boy that Maria used to swear came in to the restaurant just to see her. The boy she'd said she’d caught watching her when she wasn’t looking.
And he was the dream she thought had died along with Tess in that car crash.
When Kyle told her about the discovery in the quarry a few short months after the death of her parents, he couldn’t have known how that revelation had thrown her. How could he have? He’d never known about her crush on Max Evans. She had told no one, although she knew Maria knew, and had teased her mercilessly about it.
The news had haunted for a long time afterward.
He was yet someone else she had dared to feel for, that had been taken away from the world too early. She all of the daydreams she’d had, all of the hours spent thinking about him. At first she lamented that she’d never done something about her feelings toward him, but who knew how she would have handled losing him as well? At the time, she tortured herself about the possibility that if she had told him, if she had taken the chance, he would have been alive. That he wouldn’t have been in that jeep with Tess.
She’d wondered if Tess had had something to do with it, and then felt small for thinking the worst.
She had died in the accident too.
Or had she?
If Max was alive, then where was Tess? And why hadn’t he gone home?
Yet now she wondered. Was it all merely just coincidence that Max, someone who apparently had this healing gift, someone from her past who she’d barely known, who was supposed to be dead, had given her...her own life back?
Or was he some celestial being hiding amongst them, hiding what he was? Why would he risk everything for her?
What about the letters? And her bag reappearing at her door?
It all had a strange sense of being planned, as if she were supposed to find him, as if she were supposed to help him.
But how could she help him with this?
When she looked at him, her head screamed at her to take him to get proper medical care. But her heart told her that it would be a mistake. If they found something different, if they discovered what he could do...
She reached under the blanket and looked at his hand. This was the hand that had mended torn muscle, damaged tissue, had ebbed the loss of her blood so that she might live. He’d branded her, a fading reminder of the gift that she had been given.
It seemed unremarkable as she turned it over to look at his palm, to study his fingers. They were marked with small scars, not unlike anyone else’s. His fingers were slightly callused, the skin of his palm roughened.
But appearances were deceiving. Through these fingers he’d changed her life forever. She felt tears spring to her eyes as she ran her own over them lightly.
What had it cost him to do that? Looking at him now, she wondered what he’d sacrificed. He was so sick. Had healing her done this to him? Had he always been able to do this, or had something happened to him in the years after she’d left Roswell?
She wondered how he wound up in this place, what had happened to him, where the last few years had taken him.
to be continued...
This is the last part from Liz's POV. Sunday, we move on to Max.
Life In the Storm - Edwin McCain
The rip of thunder it splits the day
It's jagged proof for the strength of chaos
There's a strange music in the rumble
It's like the anger and love's loss
So you ask me to seek shelter
And with you I know it's safe and warm
But my dreams are in the torrent
And my life is in the storm
The message burned upon my skin
It weighs heavy on the sublime
I wouldn't change my way even if I could
So I run as fast and dream as hard
And sometimes just pay it no mind
And drink as much from this bittersweet well
Before I run dry on time
So you ask me to seek shelter
And with you I know it's safe and warm
But my dreams are in the torrent
And my life is in the storm
So don't tell be your heart's desires
Unless I begin my apologies now
`Cause I don't understand that I would love again
And I'm damn sure that I wouldn't know how
So you ask me to seek shelter
And with you I know it's safe and warm
But my dreams are in the torrent
And my life is in the storm
So you ask me to seek shelter
And with you I know it's safe and warm
But my dreams are in the torrent
And my life is in the storm
Part Twelve
Summer – 2004
*~Liz~*
She'd deliberately avoided going home that summer at all.
Matt had called her a few times, but it was awkward for both of them. Their only real link had been Justin, and even talking to each other was a painful reminder of him. There was only so much they could talk about.
Liz had told Maria and Alex that she wasn’t coming home after breaking it to her parents.
When she’d told Maria about Justin, the one person who she always knew was never at a loss for words suddenly had nothing to say. She wanted to come out to New York, but Liz insisted she would be too busy. Her parents hadn’t known much about Justin, other than he was a friend of hers, but she couldn’t bear to go home for the summer, dwelling on it. At least here, she could keep herself busy with her class work. As hard as it was to be here, it would have been worse at home, having to explain, having to endure the sympathetic looks from her parents and Maria. But Alex was different.
He had insisted on coming up to visit her for a few days before he went home. She'd been grateful for his shoulder to cry on.
She knew he wouldn’t push her, and she was glad he was here.
"God Alex, this whole thing is so messed up," she said, leaning on his shoulder as they watched TV the first night he'd arrived.
"I know," he said, leaning over to kiss her on the top of her head. "Don't you wonder sometimes at the insanity of this big plan that supposedly exists out there?"
"I think it sucks," she said, looking at the TV screen, but not really seeing it.
He sighed.
"I'm sorry about what happened Liz," he said.
Her lips tightened as she tried to reign in her emotions.
"I've just been thinking to myself like, what if he'd called in sick that day? Or if only someone had asked him to take the garbage out back? Why did it have to be him?" she asked.
Alex leaned back and studied her.
"So...what was the deal with you and him? I know you were friends, but Maria said you mentioned him a lot when you spoke to her. Was there something more going on?" he asked.
She shrugged.
"I'll never know now," she said sadly, shrugging.
"I don't know, it was weird, like we hit it off right away, and I felt as comfortable with him as I do you and Maria, and I've known you guys forever. I didn't even think about anything romantic in the beginning. I guess I just thought that he was out of my league. Plus, he was dating all of these like...really well-endowed girls, and that's *so* not me," she said with a little laugh.
"So..." Alex prompted.
"We'd only been hanging out, and I never really got the impression that he was interested in me. I mean, I was just grateful to have someone to hang out and study with. But then one night, he was talking about setting me up with his friend, and I insisted that we double date. He got really drunk and it was such a disaster. He was acting like an ass, and he embarrassed me by telling my date something I'd told him in confidence, and I got upset and left. He came here and told me why he'd been like that. He told me he'd been in love with me for months, and he kissed me...and it was like I woke up and realized that maybe there could be something between us," she said.
She paused, feeling tears blurring her eyes once again.
"We were supposed to meet to talk after he finished work the next day, but he never made it off his shift," she said.
“You’re going to be all right, Liz,” Alex said with conviction.
“I know, that’s the whole point,” she said.
“I am going to be all right! I can get up and go to classes tomorrow. I am going to graduate early. I can decide to do nothing but lie around all day, but I’m here. He isn’t. He’s lying in a grave because someone he didn’t even know had an enemy, and it makes me so angry!” she said, her fist coming down hard on the pillow lying beside her on the couch.
Alex didn’t say anything. She knew he had no words to make it any better, or to make it go away, and that was what she loved most about him. He would just be there, no questions asked, with no sympathetic words that she didn’t need to hear.
“What if he was it, Alex? What if he was the one, and I blew it?” she whispered. “God, I didn’t even have time to realize that I had feelings for him, and now he’s gone.”
Alex sighed, and pulled her closer.
“I don’t know if he was the one Liz. But I do know that you’ll find what you’re looking for someday, and it’ll be special. You’re too special,” he said.
She wished she could believe that.
*******
The Holidays – 2004
After Alex left, she immersed herself in schoolwork, desperately trying to block out the memories of the times she and Justin had spent so many late nights poring over notes. For most of the summer, she literally studied until her head dropped on the table in exhaustion. Her grades had excelled and only served to push her further toward her goal of early graduation.
The summer session ended and soon the leaves were falling from the trees. She visited Justin’s grave often, talking to him about the nonsense they used to laugh about, hoping that he somehow heard her. It was cathartic for her, and on the nice weekend days, she’d spend hours there under the shady tree that grew adjacent to his gravestone. She knew if her parents found out, they would tell her it was unhealthy, but she didn’t really think it was. For her, it was a way of letting go.
She knew she’d have to go home for Thanksgiving break, and she admitted that she missed everyone, her parents, Maria and Alex, and even Kyle.
She’d finished her midterms and suddenly, for the first time in almost a year, she was going home.
The trip was too short, and she realized just how much she’d missed her parents. Her mother was practically in tears when she came in from the airport with her father.
It was strange to be back in Roswell. Not much had changed, but again she had the sensation that everything seemed somehow smaller. She supposed that it had something to do with her acclimation to living in a large city, but it was a welcome change.
“God Lizzie, you’ve gotten so thin!” her mother scolded. “Don’t you eat?”
“Mom!” she said indignantly, sitting down in a booth. “I eat, ok?”
“Well it sure doesn’t look like it,” her mother said critically.
“She looks great Nancy,” her father said, winking at her. “Just be glad she’s finally decided to come home for a few days.”
“Dad, you know why I didn’t come home,” she said with a sigh. “I have to keep on track.”
Her mother went to get them some coffee, and her father sat down next to her in the booth, lacing his fingers together, studying them.
“I know you don’t want to talk about it, so I’ll only say it once,” he said quietly. “I’m sorry about your friend Justin.”
“I know,” she said, lowering her head. “I’m sorry that I kind of cut you off on the phone then, Dad. It’s just been a little...hard, you know?”
He nodded.
“Yeah, I know. But I didn’t want you to think I didn’t care when I didn’t mention it again. Your mother and I just thought it was better to give you some time to deal with it,” he said.
She looked over at her father, really seeing him for the first time in a long time.
“You know I love you Dad, right?” she asked.
He smiled.
“Of course I do,” he said. “And I never thought I could be prouder of you than when you made valedictorian, but you’ve outdone yourself, Lizzie. The Dean’s List three semesters in a row? That’s just amazing.”
“Thanks” she said with a self-conscious smile.
Just then her mother came back with the coffee, and sat down across from them.
“Your father’s right, Liz. I can’t tell you how proud the both of us are,” she said quietly. “But...I’m glad you’re home.”
“Me too,” Liz said, reaching across the table to take her hand.
“I missed you guys,” she said.
“Us too. I wish we could have come to Boston to visit, but with the restaurant and the expenses...” she said.
“I know Mom,” she answered. “You guys are doing more than enough just helping me out. I couldn’t have done it without either of you.”
Her parents beamed at her proudly, and in that moment, she felt home again. She’d always known how lucky she was, but never had she felt it so keenly.
She was now more resolved than ever to make them proud.
*******
The long weekend was a whirlwind with the holiday and trying to catch up with Maria and Alex. She’d spent the holiday with her parents, eating a quiet early dinner in the small apartment she’d called home above the Crashdown. Then they opened up the restaurant for those who were alone on the holidays. Liz was more than happy to help out. It brought back fond memories of when she was in high school, working as a waitress. She didn’t realize that she’d missed it so much. At the time, she’d hated it.
She found her eyes travelling to the UFO Center across the street, looking for a jeep, even knowing that it was closed. She wondered how Max Evans was. The last time she'd seen him, he looked like she felt right now.
He was most likely spending the holiday with his family, like every other person in town, she thought dryly. The UFO Center was closed just like every other business in town.
Maria came in as they were closing with a grin.
“Hey you,” she said, wrapping her arms around Liz.
“I tried to call last night,” Liz said.
“Yeah well, Mom had this stupid idea that we should re-arrange the store before the big holiday rush. Like anyone’s going to want alien crap for Christmas,” she said with a snort, and Liz laughed.
“So what are we doing tonight?” Maria asked, excited.
“It’s your call,” Liz answered, not really caring what they did. She was just happy to finally see Maria, who was obviously in better spirits than she was the last time she was home.
“Alex said that we should just decide and then he’ll meet us,” Maria said.
Liz nodded.
“What about a movie?” she asked.
“Fine with me, but then we catch up afterwards, ‘k?” Maria said.
“Of course,” Liz said with a grin.
She called out to her parents to tell them she was leaving, and after calling Alex, they decided to walk to the theater.
They walked arm in arm, much as they had when they were younger. It didn’t matter how long they’d been apart, they just fell into their old routine as if Liz had never left, and she was grateful for it.
“Alex said that he wants to see Matrix Four,” Maria said with a bored sigh.
“Oh come on, I heard it was supposed to be good,” Liz said.
“Sorry babe, Keanu just doesn’t do it for me,” Maria retorted dryly.
“So,” Liz said leaning into Maria, with a grin. “Who is doing it for you?”
“Oh please,” Maria snorted. ‘Do you actually think I would even look at anyone in the town? Get real. I’ve got plans.”
“Oh, this sounds interesting,” Liz said with a grin.
“You are looking at the Karaoke Queen of this boring county,” Maria said with a smug smile.
“Are you kidding me?” Liz said, jumping up and down excitedly. “You won the regional?”
Maria grimaced at her.
“Calm down Liz, it’s not like I suddenly became Celine Dion or something,” she said.
“I have no freakin’ social life to speak of, so just humor me and let me be excited for you, ok?” Liz asked with a warning look, and Maria couldn’t help but laugh.
“Girl, you are just sad,” she said with a chuckle. “Anyway, that’s not the good news. The good news is, it got me a job singing in Hondo...a paying job at a nightclub.”
“Oh Maria, I’m so happy for you!” Liz exclaimed, and she truly was.
“Well, it’s a step in the right direction anyway,” Maria said with a wave of her hand. “I did a lot of thinking after you left the last time, and I decided that if this is my dream, I am going to go for it.”
They reached the theater, and Alex was already waiting for them.
“Come on ladies, Morpheus waits for no one!” he said, in mock impatience.
“Hey Alex,” Liz said with a grin, running into his arms.
“Hey you,” he said, pulling back to look at her. “You look...good.”
“Don’t sound so convincing,” Liz said dryly.
“Nah, it just looks like keeping that Dean’s List status is taking its toll on you,” he said, concerned.
“I’m fine,” she said, hitting him in the arm. “Come on, let’s go in. We’re going to miss the beginning.”
Liz thoroughly enjoyed the movie, caught between Alex’s exuberance and Maria’s sarcastic commentary, and by the time they left, she was practically in tears from laughing. She missed that.
“Coffee,” she groaned when she could breathe once again. “I need coffee.”
They agreed to go to the coffee shop, and soon were settled in with their hot mugs.
“So Liz,” Maria finally said, her expression serious, “how are you handling the whole Justin thing?”
She looked at Alex, quiet for a moment before she shrugged.
“I miss him,” she said, as way of explanation.
“But are you ok?” Maria asked. “You don’t talk about it when you call, and I was afraid to ask. I didn’t want to upset you or anything, but I’ve been worried.”
“Yeah,” Liz said after a pause. “I’m ok.”
Maria didn’t push the matter, and the conversation turned toward the local town gossip, always a safe topic.
Maria prattled on about her former classmates, but Liz found her mind wandering as she gazed out the window.
She felt her breath catch in her throat as she looked across the street and saw the last person she expected to.
He was walking alone, his hands shoved in his pockets, seeming lost in his own thoughts. She once again felt that familiar flip in her stomach as her eyes followed him.
He’d gotten thinner, his clothes seeming to hang a bit, so unlike the way he’d looked in high school.
Even from her spot in the booth, she could see that same heavy posture he’d carried the last time she’d seen him, alone in the park.
Suddenly he paused and turned toward the coffee shop. His eyes met hers from across the street and time seemed to freeze.
There was desolation in his face that she'd only seen mirrored in her own after Justin died, the sadness of feeling that you are truly alone in the world.
Her throat tightened and she swallowed hard, unable to tear her gaze from his, unable to ignore the isolation she saw in his expression.
“Liz?” Maria said, and she reluctantly tore her eyes away from the window to look at Maria.
“Hmm?” she asked.
“Are you all right?” Maria asked, and she noticed Alex was studying her with a concerned expression.
“I’m fine,” she said. "Sorry."
"You were spacing out there for a minute," Maria said.
"I guess I'm more tired than I thought," she said, turning to look out the window again, but he had continued on. Her eyes followed his retreating back. She had a wild urge to follow him, to say something to him...to say anything. But the moment had passed.
She sighed.
“I think the rat race is just catching up with me. Maybe I should call it a night,” she said.
“Ok,” Maria said slowly, with a worried frown.
“I’m fine, I promise,” Liz assured them.
They paid their check, and walked to Alex’s car.
He drove her back to the Crashdown and after saying goodnight and promising to call them in the morning, she went in and walked upstairs to her room.
As she undressed, she realized how tired she actually was.
It felt good to lie in her old bed, with the familiar sounds of her alarm clock and the wind against her window, and soon she was dozing.
But her mind wouldn’t let go of Max Evans.
He looked as if he’d been carrying too much on his shoulders.
Her last thought before she dropped off to sleep was that maybe he and she weren’t so different after all.
*******
That Sunday, she bade a tearful farewell to her parents at the airport, promising she would be home for Christmas. This time it was a bit more emotional. This time she wished that she had had just a few more days, but as she sat on the plane, she consoled herself with the fact that she would be back in less than a month.
She couldn’t have known that it would be the last time she would see them.
********
The call came on the evening of December 16th, the night she'd finished her last final. She'd just settled in on the couch to watch TV, when the phone rang.
She was expecting it to be Maria, even as late as it was. Maria had promised to lay off the calls that week so that she could study, but she was supposed to call after her gig when she got home, which usually around 3 am her time.
"Maria, you should just go to bed," Liz said without waiting to hear who it was.
"Uh...hello, I'm looking for Liz," a male voice said.
Liz frowned.
"This is she, who am I speaking with?" she asked.
"Hi Liz," he said with a sigh. "It's Jim Valenti."
Liz felt as if her heart jumped into her throat.
"Hi Mr. Valenti," she said, swallowing hard. "What can I do for you? Is something wrong?"
There was silence on the other end of the phone for a moment.
"Liz, I don't know how to tell you this. There's been an accident, a fire...."
******
And so for the second time in a little more than 6 months, she was standing in a cemetery, feeling as if her heart had died. She felt frozen, completely numb. She hadn't even been able to cry.
The Sheriff had told her that her parents had probably died of smoke inhalation long before the flames hit their bedroom. But that was little consolation to her now.
The fire had destroyed the restaurant, and there was extreme smoke and water damage to the apartment above. The building would have to be gutted and rebuilt, because the structure was no longer safe. It didn't matter anyway. That restaurant had been her parents' dream and when they died, it died along with them.
The past few days staying with Maria and her mother had been hard. All she wanted to do was to curl up into a ball, to disappear, but she had to keep up appearances. She remained holed up in their house, because she couldn't stand the sympathetic looks she received whenever she went out. She just couldn't handle it.
There was a quick reading of her parents will and estate, at which Liz discovered that she could finish school with the insurance money from the policy they'd taken out on themselves and the restaurant.
The wake had been packed to the brim, and she struggled against the feelings of nausea in the pit of her stomach, the whole thing reminding her of Justin's viewing.
The caskets were closed, just as Justin's had been. They were both surrounded with a sea of flowers from well-meaning people. Again she'd had to put on her brave face, smiling and thanking people for coming, when she felt as if she were dying inside.
Because she was truly alone. She had Maria and Alex, but it wasn't the same. She didn't even want to be around them for the first time in her life. She wanted nothing more than to go somewhere and lick her wounds alone.
She'd always counted on her parents being there, but they were gone, and the security of being "daughter" was gone now too. They were supposed to be around to see her graduate with honors, to see her get the job she'd always dreamed of. She was supposed to be the one to take care of them when they got older. She wasn't supposed to lose both of them at once.
It was a gray day, very appropriate, she thought, as she listened to the priest offering meaningless words of comfort. She kept her head lowered, unable and unwilling to face the sympathetic faces of the friends and patrons who had come to pay their respects.
She prayed for the moment he would finish, when the service would be over. She felt Maria's arm around her, and the sympathetic hand of her mother Amy on her back. Alex stood stoically on the other side of her, a picture of the silent support he had always been.
She felt as if a lead weight were sitting on her chest. What would she do now? For the first time in her life, she wanted to flee Roswell and never look back.
Finally, the priest finished speaking, and Liz turned to her friends.
"Maria, can I borrow your car?" she asked in a low voice. "Maybe Alex can take you and Amy home."
Alex nodded.
"I don't know if that's such a good idea Liz," Amy said shaking her head. "Where are you going to go?"
"Nowhere," she said. "I just want to stay for awhile. I just need some time alone."
Amy sighed, and Maria gave her a hug.
"Are you sure you don't want me stay with you?" Maria asked.
Liz nodded.
"I just need to get my thoughts together, and to say goodbye," she said quietly.
"We'll be waiting at home," Amy said.
Home, Liz thought bitterly. She had no home now. No home, no parents, nothing.
She pasted a smile on her face, and kissed Amy.
"Thanks," she said, and turned to Alex, giving him a squeeze.
"Will you call me?" he asked. "I have to get back to take a final, but I'll be back here on the 23rd."
She nodded.
"Thanks for coming Alex," she said.
"You know I wanted to be here," he answered.
"I know," she whispered, kissing his cheek before stepping back.
"I'll see you in a little while, she said, looking at Maria and Amy.
People started to come forward to pay their respects and to say goodbye, and Amy, Maria and Alex left her among them.
It seemed like forever, but in reality it had been less than a half-hour before everyone was gone, and she was finally alone.
She stared at the adjacent holes in the ground wondering if she would ever be able to feel anything normal again. Her heart had been beaten too badly in the past few months, and she was afraid it had completely died, and in some ways, she wished she could just die along with it.
She hung her head and closed her eyes, wishing that she would wake up and that it would all be a bad dream. But she knew it wasn't going to happen. They were gone, and they were never coming back.
She lifted her head and sighed, catching sight of two figures a distance away, and she stilled.
It was Max, and he wasn't alone. He watched his retreating back, the smaller form of Tess following behind him.
What had he been doing here? He hadn't come to the wake or the church service, so why was he here?
She supposed it didn't matter now. It was time she closed this chapter on Roswell and that part of her life. There was nothing here for her now.
All of the ideals she'd had in the end had all been wrong. She vowed not to let anyone else get close to her. It was too painful to lose them.
*******
That had been her plan, to disconnect from everything in Roswell. She left the day after wanting nothing more than to hole herself up in her room in Boston. And she did, at least until Maria and Alex had showed up.
It made her realize that she couldn't give them up. She loved them too much. Once again they had come through for her, and she knew that this time, if they hadn't come, she would not have made it. She probably would have lain in bed until someone came to cart her away.
Alex went back to school, and Maria helped her pick up the pieces of what was left of her life forcing her to finish what she started. She constantly reminded her that this is what her parents would have wanted for her, that she wasn't doing any service to their memory by "crapping out", as she'd so aptly put it.
If she were honest with herself, she had had every intention of crapping out. Her heart had seen too much sadness in the year that had passed, and she felt she just didn't have the energy to get up and do what she needed to in order to get on with her life.
Maria's mother handled the sale of the lot where the Crashdown stood, and Maria made sure she got her butt out of bed every day to get to her classes.
Eventually, it started to get a little easier, but her heart hadn't truly healed from the trauma of her sophomore year.
It was largely because of Maria that she was where she came to be in this moment, here in New York, stationed in a rewarding job at Sloane Kettering.
Her heart had been in stasis, the painful pangs re-emerging only near the times she ha lost those she cared about until now, until Max Evans crash-landed into her life a week ago and healed her body, and awakened her soul.
And with that healing came a painful flood of emotions she’d long suppressed. But along with them came a sense of hope, of a new beginning, of a second chance.
To her, he had always been the quiet, mysterious, beautiful boy she’d longed for from afar, a boy who had never really been real to her. But there was nothing more real than the man lying in her bed at this very moment.
He was the boy she’d never said more than a few words to outside of class, and also the boy whose few words had comforted her when no one else’s could.
He was the boy that Maria used to swear came in to the restaurant just to see her. The boy she'd said she’d caught watching her when she wasn’t looking.
And he was the dream she thought had died along with Tess in that car crash.
When Kyle told her about the discovery in the quarry a few short months after the death of her parents, he couldn’t have known how that revelation had thrown her. How could he have? He’d never known about her crush on Max Evans. She had told no one, although she knew Maria knew, and had teased her mercilessly about it.
The news had haunted for a long time afterward.
He was yet someone else she had dared to feel for, that had been taken away from the world too early. She all of the daydreams she’d had, all of the hours spent thinking about him. At first she lamented that she’d never done something about her feelings toward him, but who knew how she would have handled losing him as well? At the time, she tortured herself about the possibility that if she had told him, if she had taken the chance, he would have been alive. That he wouldn’t have been in that jeep with Tess.
She’d wondered if Tess had had something to do with it, and then felt small for thinking the worst.
She had died in the accident too.
Or had she?
If Max was alive, then where was Tess? And why hadn’t he gone home?
Yet now she wondered. Was it all merely just coincidence that Max, someone who apparently had this healing gift, someone from her past who she’d barely known, who was supposed to be dead, had given her...her own life back?
Or was he some celestial being hiding amongst them, hiding what he was? Why would he risk everything for her?
What about the letters? And her bag reappearing at her door?
It all had a strange sense of being planned, as if she were supposed to find him, as if she were supposed to help him.
But how could she help him with this?
When she looked at him, her head screamed at her to take him to get proper medical care. But her heart told her that it would be a mistake. If they found something different, if they discovered what he could do...
She reached under the blanket and looked at his hand. This was the hand that had mended torn muscle, damaged tissue, had ebbed the loss of her blood so that she might live. He’d branded her, a fading reminder of the gift that she had been given.
It seemed unremarkable as she turned it over to look at his palm, to study his fingers. They were marked with small scars, not unlike anyone else’s. His fingers were slightly callused, the skin of his palm roughened.
But appearances were deceiving. Through these fingers he’d changed her life forever. She felt tears spring to her eyes as she ran her own over them lightly.
What had it cost him to do that? Looking at him now, she wondered what he’d sacrificed. He was so sick. Had healing her done this to him? Had he always been able to do this, or had something happened to him in the years after she’d left Roswell?
She wondered how he wound up in this place, what had happened to him, where the last few years had taken him.
to be continued...
Part 13
Thank you MamaDee and everyone who took the time to leave feedback. I can't tell you how how awesome it is of you all to do that with my track history in updating fics, LOL.
Once again, I'd like to thank Gigo (Elizabeth) for her wonderful beta-reading skills. I am working through that revamp of the end. With any luck I will have most of it to you by the end of the week.
So now we begin with Max's POV, and some of it will shed some light on events seen from Liz's POV, as well as how things developed on Max's end.
Undenied - Portishead
Your softly spoken words,
Release my whole desire,
Undenied,
Totally.
And so bare is my heart,
I can't hide,
And so where does my heart,
Belong.
Beneath your tender touch,
My senses can't divide,
Oh so strong,
My desire.
For so bare is my heart,
I can't hide,
And so where does my heart,
Belong.
Now that I've found you,
And seen behind those eyes,
How can I,
Carry on.
For so bare is my heart,
I can't hide,
And so where does my heart,
Belong.
Belong, belong, belong.
Part Thirteen
~*Max *~
She was merely his lab partner in high school, but his interest in her went back much further, back to the first time he'd laid eyes on her when he'd stepped off the school bus in third grade, clutching Isabel's hand.
She'd stood on the playground, playing rock, paper, scissors with Alex and Maria. He'd been so afraid that day, afraid the other children would know he was different, afraid they would see through him and discover his terrible secret. His eyes had nervously scanned the playground and met the most beautiful eyes he'd ever seen.
When their eyes met, she paused for a moment, and then smiled at him, and he felt his heart warm. That one smile had sparked a small hope in his heart that everything would be all right. He'd watched her furtively in class all day, and it became a habit by which he marked his days throughout his school years.
Watching was all that he could do, because of what he was.
And Liz Parker had grown into a beautiful young woman, just as he knew she would. He’d known it long before any other boy had even thought about it.
Her smile had always been bright enough to light up a room. But not only was she beautiful, but she was also smart. She was one of the top students in their class.
He’d had to content himself with watching from afar at school, and occasional glimpses of her in the restaurant until she turned fifteen, she started to work part-time as a waitress in her parents' restaurant, the Crashdown. The day he'd found out seemed like Christmas to him.
He started to include lunch at the Crashdown as part of his ritual as often as he could. There he could generally watch her to his heart's content without anyone noticing; at least, no one but Isabel and Michael.
They didn't understand. They never had. Michael made it clear he wanted off the planet as soon as the opportunity arose, and Isabel centered her life around being one of the aloof popular set at Roswell. But she and Michael agreed on one thing. None of them could ever get involved with anyone on a serious level. It was too dangerous, and too much was at stake.
He’d known it too. There was too much they didn't know about themselves, so how could they be sure that being with another human wouldn't have serious consequences?
Yet his longstanding preoccupation with Liz Parker worried them, he knew. He knew it was a foolish pastime, watching her, but they didn't understand that it was the only thing he had.
For though one part of him desperately wanted to know his roots, where he came from, why he was here, another part of him wished he was purely human with purely human cares and concerns.
This planet was all he had known since he emerged from the pod, yet it was a lonely existence. He could never truly be close to his parents, because he and Isabel couldn't tell them about their secret. They couldn't tell anyone.
The only person outside of his family that he dreamed of telling was Liz. How many nights had he imagined the different scenarios, some where she accepted him without reservation, and on his bad days, there were those nightmarish visions of her running away from him in terror, looking at him like he was a monster.
Winter – 1999
He had gone to the Crashdown for his usual dinner, and had brought along a drawing that he had found over at the UFO Center.
He’d been thinking about it a lot lately.
This was what most humans imagined when they thought of extra-terrestrials. He looked just like every normal human being on the planet. It was just his cells that were different. He’d looked at them under a microscope more than once, and their green glow was wholly different from normal red human cells.
The idea of aliens terrified most of the people who believed in them. He’d seen enough movies to have that drilled in his head.
Were they monsters?
He felt a presence behind him and turned to see Liz looking over his shoulder. For a minute, he panicked, trying to cover it with his book.
For a split second, he was terrified that she’d guessed. But how could she?
“Aliens, huh?” she asked with a smile.
He didn’t think things could get any worse. He was in hell.
“Yeah, sort of a guilty pleasure I guess,” he said, wanting to make light of it and knowing he was failing miserably.
He was such an idiot. He looked up at her, feeling his heart pounding in his chest at her proximity. Her hair was dangling only inches away from his hands, and he had this wild urge to reach out and touch the silky strands.
She was so beautiful.
“Don’t worry Max,” she whispered with a smile. “I’ll keep your secret. Wouldn’t want you to lose the respect of the towns people.”
Her words snapped him back to reality. Aliens were a joke in this town. What he was, was a joke. He supposed he should be grateful. It was far better for it to be a tourist gag than for people to know the truth, wasn’t it?
Yes, it was better for Liz to think that he was a crazy alien conspiracy freak. The truth of what he was would be so much more frightening.
He lowered his head.
“Yeah thanks,” he said. He’d barely ever spoken to her, and now she thought he was a freak.
“I was only kidding,” she said, with a frown. How could she know that what she’d said would hit him like it did?
“I know,” he said, looking up. Yes, it was better to be distant. He had to be.
But he couldn’t stop staring at her. Her soft brown eyes were hypnotic, and her lips...well her lips were....
“Yeah so, can I take your order?” she asked.
He didn’t want her to go away just yet. He knew he should just tell her what he wanted for dinner, and leave it at that, but she looked so pretty tonight. She wasn’t wearing her normal uniform.
“New dress code?” he asked. He didn’t really care truthfully. She looked amazing no matter what she wore, but it was conversation.
“Um no, actually I’m not working tonight. I have plans. I was just helping Maria out for a few minutes,” she said.
He wondered what she was doing. She’d worked every Friday night since her father had let her waitress. If Maria was working, then she wasn’t going out with her. Maybe it was Alex?
“Oh?” he asked, hoping she would elaborate.
“Yeah,” she said. “I’m meeting a friend for dinner.”
He nodded. A friend. Wouldn’t she have just said it was Alex, if it was whom she was meeting? Maybe he was reading too much into it. He hoped he was.
“No big deal,” she said, oddly turning red.
“Ok...” he said, smiling at her.
Alex Whitman didn’t know what he was missing. How could he be around with Liz Parker and not fall in love with her?
“So, what can I get you?” she asked.
He thought about ordering something different, his little way of being daring, but what was the point? It wouldn’t be daring in any way that mattered.
Her knowing smile when he told her what he wanted made him feel good for a moment. It was probably just good waitressing skills, but a secret part of him wanted to believe that it wasn’t.
“So...what do you do on the weekends, Max? Besides read about aliens,” she said with a smile.
He couldn’t say what he really wanted to.
What do I do? I think about you. I wonder what it would be like to know you, to really know you. I fantasize about being someone more than the quiet guy that sits next to you in lab. I dream of being normal, so that I could ask you to a movie, or maybe ask you to spend the rest of your life with me.
He was such an idiot.
He didn’t say any of those things. Instead he shrugged.
“I don’t know, there isn’t much to do around here,” he offered lamely.
“Yeah, I know. It’s a pretty boring place,” she said.
He didn’t want the conversation to end, but he was at a loss for words. She stood there for another moment.
“I’ll just go put your order in,” she said, pointing toward the kitchen. “Maria will get your order. I have to um...”
“Meet your friend,” he finished for her, nodding.
“Yeah,” she said with a lopsided grin.
“Have a good weekend, Max,” she said softly.
He saw her leave a few minutes later, and suddenly, he wasn’t very hungry anymore. Maria came over with his food, and he sat there poking at it for a bit and left shortly afterward.
The following Monday had started like any other day, but it quickly turned into one that he never wanted to relive.
It was his usual routine to take the long way to English, because Liz's locker was in the South hall. Sometimes he would be able to catch an extra glimpse of her at her locker. There were times when she lifted her head and had seen him walking her way, giving him a friendly smile. For those few seconds, it was as if the world had stopped and centered around her.
If he were really lucky she would fall into step with him, asking him about some experiment they were working on, or the English paper that might be due that morning. He lived for those mornings.
That particular morning, a paper that was half of their grade was due in biology and he was hoping that she might catch him in the hall.
But when he turned the corner, he felt as if he'd been punched in the gut.
Liz was at her locker, but she wasn't alone. Kyle Valenti was leaning casually against the locker next to hers, his head leaned toward her, speaking in a low voice, smiling at her. She lowered her head and blushed profusely, looking up at him coyly, and he reached over to play with a lock of her satin brown hair.
He'd just stopped in the middle of the hall, unable to process the horror of what he was seeing. A shoulder knocked his and a muttered expletive was uttered, but he barely noticed it. He felt as if his heart had stopped.
His face felt suddenly hot, and his heart started to pound in his chest. A myriad of crazy thoughts thundered in his head. This wasn't supposed to happen so soon. It was supposed to be him, not Kyle.
He lowered his head and backed away, feeling for the first time in his life that he needed to be away from Liz Parker.
He literally could feel his heart breaking as he backtracked the way he'd come. He passed the Biology lab and kept walking toward the door. There was no way that he could sit next to her for an hour, not now, not until he'd had time to cool down.
He didn't even look at his sister and Michael who had been standing outside their class.
"Maxwell," Michael called out, but he just kept walking, pushing the safety bar on the door and heading out to the parking lot and his jeep.
He'd driven out of the parking lot and toward the desert, needing to clear his head. His hands gripped the steering wheel tightly, his knuckles whitening with the pressure.
He fought off tears that threatened to spill from his eyes, blinking them back with determination, his mouth tightening.
Everything he was feeling was unfair, and he knew it. How could he blame Kyle for seeing in Liz what he himself had seen all of his life?
He hadn't had the courage to go after what he'd so desperately wanted. He couldn't because of what he was. So how could he feel that it should have been him? It couldn't be him, ever.
But it didn't make it hurt any less.
He knew this would happen eventually, and he was deluding himself thinking that someone wouldn't come along who would love her the way that she deserved to be loved.
He drove for hours that day with no destination, reminding himself that he was different; that this was the way things had to be. By the time he pulled into the driveway later that afternoon, he had more of a handle on his emotions, and had reached some sort of acceptance for the moment.
It was that day and his disappearance from school that set Michael off. Both Michael and Isabel had witnessed the budding flirtation between Liz and Kyle, and it didn't take much to put the pieces together.
They were waiting for him to get home.
Before then, Michael and Isabel had not realized that his secret infatuation with Liz Parker was anything this serious. But it worried them that Max would do something so impulsive like leaving school over a human girl.
He walked up the stairs quickly and thought he was safe, but he should have known better.
As he walked in the room and went to shut the door, and Michael's hand prevented it. He turned away from the door, walking into his room. Michael and Isabel followed him in, closing the door behind them. At that moment, they were the last people he wanted to deal with after the day he'd had.
He noted the angry look on Michael's face and the worried expression on his sisters.
He walked in and dropped his books on his desk, remaining silent.
Immediately they started.
"What were you thinking Maxwell? The school called here, and you're lucky that Isabel got home in time to erase the message before your parents got home. What the hell is wrong with you? It's not like we don't have enough to worry about, without you running off to parts unknown over some stupid human girl," Michael said.
Max couldn’t help it; his temper flared.
"Is this really about Liz, or is it about the fact that you don't like that I went and did something without letting you know about it?" he snapped.
"Max, we didn't know where you were or where you'd gone!" Isabel said, folding her arms over her chest.
"What if something had happened to you?"
"We’ve been living here for ten years, and nothing has happened," Max grated. "Nothing...not one thing. I don't have any friends, not like you Isabel, and I can't seem to pick up the 'I don't give a shit attitude' that you do Michael, so just get off my back! I did something impulsive, deal with it."
Isabel's face softened a bit.
"Max I know it can't be easy to watch life go on around you, to see Liz with Kyle Valenti, but we all promised we wouldn't get involved," she said.
"Don't give me that self-righteous crap, Isabel. You date all the time!" he answered, irritated.
Her eyes widened, stunned at his outburst, and then narrowed.
"Max, I don't feel things for the guys I date. I deliberately choose the ones I don't feel anything for. You...you don't know how to shut your feelings off. You never did. We can't let anyone in. We don't know what could happen," she argued.
"Don't you think I know that?" he asked wearily. "Look, I left school because something upset me and I wanted some time alone. I've dealt with it now. Let it go."
Michael shook his head, crossing his arms over his chest.
"Sorry Max, it's not that simple. You have to get over this stupid thing you have for Liz Parker. I'm sick of watching you moon over her. You've been doing it for as long as I can remember, and it's really getting old," Michael said.
Max took a deep breath and tried to remain calm.
"It's not a stupid thing. It's the most real thing I've ever felt," he said in a quiet, controlled voice.
"How do you know what you're feeling? You don't even know the girl!" Isabel said exasperated.
Max felt his anger abate for the moment.
They would never understand. Sometimes he wasn't sure if they had it in them to love anyone.
Immediately, he felt horrible for thinking that. He knew Isabel loved their parents, and he knew Michael would do anything for him or his sister. And they were right. All of them had to be careful.
"I know I can't do anything about it. I promised I wouldn't. Now...do you think you can just leave me alone?" he asked.
He walked over to the bed and lay down.
"Whatever," Michael said, clearly still angry. He stalked out of the room, leaving Isabel standing there looking at him.
He glanced at her.
"What?" he said in a dull voice.
"You're not the only one who wishes things were different you know," she said. "Don't you think I would love to tell Mom and Dad the truth? Don't you think I hate keeping what I am from them?"
"We can't tell them Isabel," he answered.
"Exactly. Not only because we might be putting them in danger, but because we don't know how they'd react," she said, pointing out the obvious similarities between her wish and his.
And though he hated it, he knew she was right.
He nodded.
She turned and left the room without another word.
*****
He'd always been an observer. It was necessary, living in Roswell and being what he was. But watching Liz Parker was like second nature to him.
It was almost as if he were living through her. Liz was not popular by the conventional standard in school, preferring to keep to her small group of friends, which consisted of Maria Deluca and Alex Whitman. In a way, she was like him, because he knew she was just as close to them as he was to Isabel and Michael. She was like this wonderful secret that only he knew about.
At least until she'd caught Kyle Valenti's eye. He’d had to endure seeing them together in the halls between classes, holding hands, kissing, arms around each other.
Each day, he felt as if his heart were being torn out of his chest, and yet, he couldn't stop his pilgrimages to the Crashdown. The routine he could see she thought was mundane was his lifeline to normalcy, and he grasped at it like a dying man.
Sometimes he liked to think that during the lulls when she sat at the counter with a far-off look in her eye, she was dreaming of something more, of someone more. How he wished he could be that someone. When that far-off look came into her eyes, he would have sworn she looked as if something were...missing.
But that was crazy, and he knew it. Yet he lived for the sporadic times she would make small talk at his table when the restaurant was slow, talking about Science or English or one of the other classes they had together. It only made him yearn to know her more, but he had to be satisfied with what he could get.
That was how it went for most of that year. He almost got used to seeing Kyle and Liz together, thought it didn't dull the jealousy he felt. It didn't change much on his end. He still made his visits to the Crashdown, and it was always when she was working. Very rarely did Kyle visit her while she was on her shift.
He'd never felt such longing as when he saw what he could never have with Liz Parker, the one person whose life he so desperately wished he could be a part of.
Maybe he could have taken the chance, but knowing what had happened, he somehow thought that if he had, it would only have made things worse.
He regretted so many things, but as much as he wished he could take back some of it, there were moments that he kept in his heart, little moments in time that he felt like he’d done something right.
Fall – 1999
He’d had the scare of his life. The day had been completely ordinary. He’d been in the Crashdown with Michael having lunch when it happened.
Liz was working. Michael had just about had it with him going to the restaurant, but Max refused to give up the one thing that he could still have. The only thing he could have, being near Liz on her shift.
The café was crowded and Liz and Maria were working the tables. Two men had started to argue near the front of the restaurant, and one pulled a gun. He’d actually pulled the trigger on the other man, but the gun hadn’t been fully loaded. At least, that was the only logical explanation Max could come up with. In horror, he watched the second man push the man’s hand away, and the gun was pointed in Liz’s direction. He watched the man’s finger close on the trigger as if in slow motion. Liz’s eyes widened in fear, and he was frozen to his seat. It was all happening too fast.
But no horrible crack filled the café. No smell of gunpowder filled the air, only the small click of the trigger. The two men panicked and ran out of the restaurant, amid the screams of the patrons.
Michael wanted to leave, but Max insisted they stay. It would only make them look suspicious.
They remained in their booth as the Sheriff took everyone’s statements, Max watching Liz at the counter in concern, still convincing himself that she was shaken up, but all right.
Finally, the Sheriff took their statements and they were allowed to leave.
Dreams of Liz being shot haunted him for days afterward. What would he have done?
He already knew. He would have saved her. Because it was Liz. The consequences be damned.
********
A few weeks had passed since the incident at the Crashown.
He’d been restless that night and he wasn’t sure why. Isabel was out on a date, and he was holed up in his room, as usual.
It had grown late, and he was nowhere near being able to fall asleep.
Lately he had been consumed with what he was. There were too many unanswered questions in his life, who he was, what his future held, what would become of him.
Would they spend the rest of their lives in hiding?
The hopelessness of his situation drove him out of his window, walking the streets. It was nothing he hadn’t done before. There were many nights when he walked alone through Roswell, wishing for something to change, wishing for some answers. He did it less often now that he had the jeep, but tonight he thought that if he walked it off, he might exhaust himself to the point where he would be able to sleep.
He headed toward the park, a routine he was used to. It was a place he went when he wanted to be alone with his restless thoughts. Not too many people hung around there at night, preferring to head out to the desert where there was less likely to be a problem with the local Sheriff, Kyle’s father.
He walked the tree-lined path, hands in his pockets, until he heard a soft sob and froze, looking up.
His throat tightened as he discovered Liz sitting by herself on the bench just ahead.
He considered turning back the way he came, leaving her to be by herself, when another sob broke the night air.
He couldn’t just walk away. The very sound of it tore at his heart. He approached her cautiously, not wanting to scare her, and not really sure she wanted him to intrude. But he couldn’t stop himself. She looked utterly lost sitting there by herself.
“Liz?” he called in a soft voice.
She looked up at him, startled, and he saw her tear-stained cheeks before she hastily tried to brush away the evidence, plastering a fake smile on her face.
“Oh, hey Max,” she said, and he heard the quiver in her voice. She averted her eyes.
Something terrible had to have happened for her to be sitting her by herself this late. He had horrible visions of predators waiting in the trees, possibly doing her harm. He would just try to stay as long as he could, and then maybe would just stick nearby, out of sight until she went home if she wanted to be alone.
“Are you ok? It’s late. You probably shouldn’t be sitting here alone,” he said.
Her head was lowered, and he couldn’t see her face.
“Yeah I’m fine,” she said, standing up. “I was just going to go...”
But she wasn’t fine. Without even thinking he reached out and grasped her arm.
“Is something wrong?” he asked.
She was still for a moment. For a split second, he almost regretted stopping her. She obviously wanted to be alone.
But then she spoke.
“Yeah actually,” she said, and her anguished eyes met his. “My grandmother is really sick. She’s in a coma.”
His heart went out to her, and he wished more than anything that he could just wrap her in his arms and make it all go away. But he was a stranger and she had a boyfriend.
“I’m sorry,” he said.
“Yeah, me too,” she said, shifting on her feet.
“Is there...anything I can do?” he asked.
She shook her head, pushing her hair behind her ear.
“No....there’s really nothing anyone can do. But thanks,” she said, looking at the ground. “She’s pretty bad.”
"I’m sorry," he repeated, feeling monumentally helpless for not having the right words to give her.
She nodded.
“I don’t know...it’s like...my Grandma, she’s been my confidant and she’s always there for me, and I don’t know what I am going to do if something really bad happens to her,” she whispered. “I just feel...lost.”
He knew that feeling well. He felt lost all of the time. He didn’t know how to respond, so he just said the first thing that popped into his head.
“I think...whatever happens, you’re going to be ok,” he said.
She looked up at him.
"How do you know that?" she asked.
Because he knew she was strong, and he knew that she had so many people that cared about her, including people she didn’t even know loved her from afar.
He looked up at the sky and shrugged.
"Because you’re a strong person,” he said.
“You don’t know me,” Liz answered, shaking her head.
“No, not really. But from what I’ve seen...I think that you’ll get through whatever is thrown at you. You have a lot of people that care about you. Your parents, Maria, Alex...Kyle,” he said in a low voice.
“It’s funny,” she sniffled. “I know they want to be there for me, and I know they mean well, but then why am I here, in a park? By myself?”
Who was he to judge? Wasn’t he doing the very same thing? He knew that there were just some things that he couldn’t talk to Michael and Isabel about. Especially about her, because they didn’t understand.
“There’s nothing wrong with needing some time for yourself. Sometimes really bad things happen and you feel like you're all alone. But sooner or later, the bad things fade. Nothing lasts forever, nothing good and nothing bad. It’s ok to want to be alone, just as long as you know that there are people who are there for you if you need them,” he said.
She bit her lip and kept her head lowered.
Right then and there, he thought he would tell her that she wasn’t alone, that if she needed him that he was there. Later, he realized that would have been monumentally stupid, but he was thinking with his heart.
“Liz, I...”
He never got to finish, because Isabel appeared on the path behind him.
“Max,” she called out.
He saw Liz look behind him, and she’d spotted his sister. He cursed her timing, but didn’t turn around, keeping his eyes on Liz.
“I should really go,” she said, pulling away and backing up.
“Max?” Isabel said again. Finally he turned to glance at her, knowing the moment, she spotted Liz, for her expression hardened.
“Oh...hi Liz,” she said in a flat tone as she stopped next to him.
“Hey Isabel,” Liz said, avoiding her gaze.
“I’ll see you in school Max,” she said, turning around.
“Liz,” he said, and she turned toward him again. In her eyes, he could see the deep-seated pain that darkened them.
“I’m sorry,” he said again, willing her to know that he meant it.
“Thanks,” she said, and turned, walking away.
“What is wrong with you?” Isabel hissed, as soon as she was out of earshot.
“What?” he snapped.
“You’re in the park in the middle of the night with Liz Parker,” she said. “How many times have we talked about this, Max? God!”
“Nothing happened!” he said angrily. “Why do you always assume the worst, huh?”
“Because you don’t use your brain when it comes to that girl. You never did. It’s bad enough that you go to that god-awful restaurant all the time. Now this?” she said.
“Get over it, Isabel,” he grated. “I told you nothing happened. I couldn’t sleep and she was sitting here alone, and she was upset. That’s it.”
“What the hell are you doing here anyway?” he asked angrily.
“I’m here with Tommy,” she said, turning, and he saw her date, the quarterback of the West Roswell football team standing a short distance away, waiting for her.
“Did you have fun?” he asked sarcastically.
“Yeah I did. It was a casual date,” she snapped, indignant. “He’s just a date. I’m not dreaming about spending the rest of my life with him. If I started to feel anything for him, he’s history. There’s the difference.”
Max shook his head.
“Then you should get back to him,” he said, dismissing her.
“Max,” she said, taking a softer tone. “We all agreed...”
“And I’m keeping the promise,” he said.
“Max, don’t be mad at me. I’m just trying to keep you from getting hurt, and her too,” she said.
There was an uncomfortable moment of silence before she spoke.
He looked down at the ground.
“I know,” he said tersely.
“So I’ll see you at home?” she asked, her eyes pleading with him to understand where she was coming from.
“Yeah,” he sighed finally.
She hugged him, and started back toward Tommy.
He watched them until they were out of sight, and then went in the opposite direction, filled with purpose. He might not be able to ever be with Liz, but maybe he could ease her pain.
*******
Will be back on Wednesday
Once again, I'd like to thank Gigo (Elizabeth) for her wonderful beta-reading skills. I am working through that revamp of the end. With any luck I will have most of it to you by the end of the week.
So now we begin with Max's POV, and some of it will shed some light on events seen from Liz's POV, as well as how things developed on Max's end.
Undenied - Portishead
Your softly spoken words,
Release my whole desire,
Undenied,
Totally.
And so bare is my heart,
I can't hide,
And so where does my heart,
Belong.
Beneath your tender touch,
My senses can't divide,
Oh so strong,
My desire.
For so bare is my heart,
I can't hide,
And so where does my heart,
Belong.
Now that I've found you,
And seen behind those eyes,
How can I,
Carry on.
For so bare is my heart,
I can't hide,
And so where does my heart,
Belong.
Belong, belong, belong.
Part Thirteen
~*Max *~
She was merely his lab partner in high school, but his interest in her went back much further, back to the first time he'd laid eyes on her when he'd stepped off the school bus in third grade, clutching Isabel's hand.
She'd stood on the playground, playing rock, paper, scissors with Alex and Maria. He'd been so afraid that day, afraid the other children would know he was different, afraid they would see through him and discover his terrible secret. His eyes had nervously scanned the playground and met the most beautiful eyes he'd ever seen.
When their eyes met, she paused for a moment, and then smiled at him, and he felt his heart warm. That one smile had sparked a small hope in his heart that everything would be all right. He'd watched her furtively in class all day, and it became a habit by which he marked his days throughout his school years.
Watching was all that he could do, because of what he was.
And Liz Parker had grown into a beautiful young woman, just as he knew she would. He’d known it long before any other boy had even thought about it.
Her smile had always been bright enough to light up a room. But not only was she beautiful, but she was also smart. She was one of the top students in their class.
He’d had to content himself with watching from afar at school, and occasional glimpses of her in the restaurant until she turned fifteen, she started to work part-time as a waitress in her parents' restaurant, the Crashdown. The day he'd found out seemed like Christmas to him.
He started to include lunch at the Crashdown as part of his ritual as often as he could. There he could generally watch her to his heart's content without anyone noticing; at least, no one but Isabel and Michael.
They didn't understand. They never had. Michael made it clear he wanted off the planet as soon as the opportunity arose, and Isabel centered her life around being one of the aloof popular set at Roswell. But she and Michael agreed on one thing. None of them could ever get involved with anyone on a serious level. It was too dangerous, and too much was at stake.
He’d known it too. There was too much they didn't know about themselves, so how could they be sure that being with another human wouldn't have serious consequences?
Yet his longstanding preoccupation with Liz Parker worried them, he knew. He knew it was a foolish pastime, watching her, but they didn't understand that it was the only thing he had.
For though one part of him desperately wanted to know his roots, where he came from, why he was here, another part of him wished he was purely human with purely human cares and concerns.
This planet was all he had known since he emerged from the pod, yet it was a lonely existence. He could never truly be close to his parents, because he and Isabel couldn't tell them about their secret. They couldn't tell anyone.
The only person outside of his family that he dreamed of telling was Liz. How many nights had he imagined the different scenarios, some where she accepted him without reservation, and on his bad days, there were those nightmarish visions of her running away from him in terror, looking at him like he was a monster.
Winter – 1999
He had gone to the Crashdown for his usual dinner, and had brought along a drawing that he had found over at the UFO Center.
He’d been thinking about it a lot lately.
This was what most humans imagined when they thought of extra-terrestrials. He looked just like every normal human being on the planet. It was just his cells that were different. He’d looked at them under a microscope more than once, and their green glow was wholly different from normal red human cells.
The idea of aliens terrified most of the people who believed in them. He’d seen enough movies to have that drilled in his head.
Were they monsters?
He felt a presence behind him and turned to see Liz looking over his shoulder. For a minute, he panicked, trying to cover it with his book.
For a split second, he was terrified that she’d guessed. But how could she?
“Aliens, huh?” she asked with a smile.
He didn’t think things could get any worse. He was in hell.
“Yeah, sort of a guilty pleasure I guess,” he said, wanting to make light of it and knowing he was failing miserably.
He was such an idiot. He looked up at her, feeling his heart pounding in his chest at her proximity. Her hair was dangling only inches away from his hands, and he had this wild urge to reach out and touch the silky strands.
She was so beautiful.
“Don’t worry Max,” she whispered with a smile. “I’ll keep your secret. Wouldn’t want you to lose the respect of the towns people.”
Her words snapped him back to reality. Aliens were a joke in this town. What he was, was a joke. He supposed he should be grateful. It was far better for it to be a tourist gag than for people to know the truth, wasn’t it?
Yes, it was better for Liz to think that he was a crazy alien conspiracy freak. The truth of what he was would be so much more frightening.
He lowered his head.
“Yeah thanks,” he said. He’d barely ever spoken to her, and now she thought he was a freak.
“I was only kidding,” she said, with a frown. How could she know that what she’d said would hit him like it did?
“I know,” he said, looking up. Yes, it was better to be distant. He had to be.
But he couldn’t stop staring at her. Her soft brown eyes were hypnotic, and her lips...well her lips were....
“Yeah so, can I take your order?” she asked.
He didn’t want her to go away just yet. He knew he should just tell her what he wanted for dinner, and leave it at that, but she looked so pretty tonight. She wasn’t wearing her normal uniform.
“New dress code?” he asked. He didn’t really care truthfully. She looked amazing no matter what she wore, but it was conversation.
“Um no, actually I’m not working tonight. I have plans. I was just helping Maria out for a few minutes,” she said.
He wondered what she was doing. She’d worked every Friday night since her father had let her waitress. If Maria was working, then she wasn’t going out with her. Maybe it was Alex?
“Oh?” he asked, hoping she would elaborate.
“Yeah,” she said. “I’m meeting a friend for dinner.”
He nodded. A friend. Wouldn’t she have just said it was Alex, if it was whom she was meeting? Maybe he was reading too much into it. He hoped he was.
“No big deal,” she said, oddly turning red.
“Ok...” he said, smiling at her.
Alex Whitman didn’t know what he was missing. How could he be around with Liz Parker and not fall in love with her?
“So, what can I get you?” she asked.
He thought about ordering something different, his little way of being daring, but what was the point? It wouldn’t be daring in any way that mattered.
Her knowing smile when he told her what he wanted made him feel good for a moment. It was probably just good waitressing skills, but a secret part of him wanted to believe that it wasn’t.
“So...what do you do on the weekends, Max? Besides read about aliens,” she said with a smile.
He couldn’t say what he really wanted to.
What do I do? I think about you. I wonder what it would be like to know you, to really know you. I fantasize about being someone more than the quiet guy that sits next to you in lab. I dream of being normal, so that I could ask you to a movie, or maybe ask you to spend the rest of your life with me.
He was such an idiot.
He didn’t say any of those things. Instead he shrugged.
“I don’t know, there isn’t much to do around here,” he offered lamely.
“Yeah, I know. It’s a pretty boring place,” she said.
He didn’t want the conversation to end, but he was at a loss for words. She stood there for another moment.
“I’ll just go put your order in,” she said, pointing toward the kitchen. “Maria will get your order. I have to um...”
“Meet your friend,” he finished for her, nodding.
“Yeah,” she said with a lopsided grin.
“Have a good weekend, Max,” she said softly.
He saw her leave a few minutes later, and suddenly, he wasn’t very hungry anymore. Maria came over with his food, and he sat there poking at it for a bit and left shortly afterward.
The following Monday had started like any other day, but it quickly turned into one that he never wanted to relive.
It was his usual routine to take the long way to English, because Liz's locker was in the South hall. Sometimes he would be able to catch an extra glimpse of her at her locker. There were times when she lifted her head and had seen him walking her way, giving him a friendly smile. For those few seconds, it was as if the world had stopped and centered around her.
If he were really lucky she would fall into step with him, asking him about some experiment they were working on, or the English paper that might be due that morning. He lived for those mornings.
That particular morning, a paper that was half of their grade was due in biology and he was hoping that she might catch him in the hall.
But when he turned the corner, he felt as if he'd been punched in the gut.
Liz was at her locker, but she wasn't alone. Kyle Valenti was leaning casually against the locker next to hers, his head leaned toward her, speaking in a low voice, smiling at her. She lowered her head and blushed profusely, looking up at him coyly, and he reached over to play with a lock of her satin brown hair.
He'd just stopped in the middle of the hall, unable to process the horror of what he was seeing. A shoulder knocked his and a muttered expletive was uttered, but he barely noticed it. He felt as if his heart had stopped.
His face felt suddenly hot, and his heart started to pound in his chest. A myriad of crazy thoughts thundered in his head. This wasn't supposed to happen so soon. It was supposed to be him, not Kyle.
He lowered his head and backed away, feeling for the first time in his life that he needed to be away from Liz Parker.
He literally could feel his heart breaking as he backtracked the way he'd come. He passed the Biology lab and kept walking toward the door. There was no way that he could sit next to her for an hour, not now, not until he'd had time to cool down.
He didn't even look at his sister and Michael who had been standing outside their class.
"Maxwell," Michael called out, but he just kept walking, pushing the safety bar on the door and heading out to the parking lot and his jeep.
He'd driven out of the parking lot and toward the desert, needing to clear his head. His hands gripped the steering wheel tightly, his knuckles whitening with the pressure.
He fought off tears that threatened to spill from his eyes, blinking them back with determination, his mouth tightening.
Everything he was feeling was unfair, and he knew it. How could he blame Kyle for seeing in Liz what he himself had seen all of his life?
He hadn't had the courage to go after what he'd so desperately wanted. He couldn't because of what he was. So how could he feel that it should have been him? It couldn't be him, ever.
But it didn't make it hurt any less.
He knew this would happen eventually, and he was deluding himself thinking that someone wouldn't come along who would love her the way that she deserved to be loved.
He drove for hours that day with no destination, reminding himself that he was different; that this was the way things had to be. By the time he pulled into the driveway later that afternoon, he had more of a handle on his emotions, and had reached some sort of acceptance for the moment.
It was that day and his disappearance from school that set Michael off. Both Michael and Isabel had witnessed the budding flirtation between Liz and Kyle, and it didn't take much to put the pieces together.
They were waiting for him to get home.
Before then, Michael and Isabel had not realized that his secret infatuation with Liz Parker was anything this serious. But it worried them that Max would do something so impulsive like leaving school over a human girl.
He walked up the stairs quickly and thought he was safe, but he should have known better.
As he walked in the room and went to shut the door, and Michael's hand prevented it. He turned away from the door, walking into his room. Michael and Isabel followed him in, closing the door behind them. At that moment, they were the last people he wanted to deal with after the day he'd had.
He noted the angry look on Michael's face and the worried expression on his sisters.
He walked in and dropped his books on his desk, remaining silent.
Immediately they started.
"What were you thinking Maxwell? The school called here, and you're lucky that Isabel got home in time to erase the message before your parents got home. What the hell is wrong with you? It's not like we don't have enough to worry about, without you running off to parts unknown over some stupid human girl," Michael said.
Max couldn’t help it; his temper flared.
"Is this really about Liz, or is it about the fact that you don't like that I went and did something without letting you know about it?" he snapped.
"Max, we didn't know where you were or where you'd gone!" Isabel said, folding her arms over her chest.
"What if something had happened to you?"
"We’ve been living here for ten years, and nothing has happened," Max grated. "Nothing...not one thing. I don't have any friends, not like you Isabel, and I can't seem to pick up the 'I don't give a shit attitude' that you do Michael, so just get off my back! I did something impulsive, deal with it."
Isabel's face softened a bit.
"Max I know it can't be easy to watch life go on around you, to see Liz with Kyle Valenti, but we all promised we wouldn't get involved," she said.
"Don't give me that self-righteous crap, Isabel. You date all the time!" he answered, irritated.
Her eyes widened, stunned at his outburst, and then narrowed.
"Max, I don't feel things for the guys I date. I deliberately choose the ones I don't feel anything for. You...you don't know how to shut your feelings off. You never did. We can't let anyone in. We don't know what could happen," she argued.
"Don't you think I know that?" he asked wearily. "Look, I left school because something upset me and I wanted some time alone. I've dealt with it now. Let it go."
Michael shook his head, crossing his arms over his chest.
"Sorry Max, it's not that simple. You have to get over this stupid thing you have for Liz Parker. I'm sick of watching you moon over her. You've been doing it for as long as I can remember, and it's really getting old," Michael said.
Max took a deep breath and tried to remain calm.
"It's not a stupid thing. It's the most real thing I've ever felt," he said in a quiet, controlled voice.
"How do you know what you're feeling? You don't even know the girl!" Isabel said exasperated.
Max felt his anger abate for the moment.
They would never understand. Sometimes he wasn't sure if they had it in them to love anyone.
Immediately, he felt horrible for thinking that. He knew Isabel loved their parents, and he knew Michael would do anything for him or his sister. And they were right. All of them had to be careful.
"I know I can't do anything about it. I promised I wouldn't. Now...do you think you can just leave me alone?" he asked.
He walked over to the bed and lay down.
"Whatever," Michael said, clearly still angry. He stalked out of the room, leaving Isabel standing there looking at him.
He glanced at her.
"What?" he said in a dull voice.
"You're not the only one who wishes things were different you know," she said. "Don't you think I would love to tell Mom and Dad the truth? Don't you think I hate keeping what I am from them?"
"We can't tell them Isabel," he answered.
"Exactly. Not only because we might be putting them in danger, but because we don't know how they'd react," she said, pointing out the obvious similarities between her wish and his.
And though he hated it, he knew she was right.
He nodded.
She turned and left the room without another word.
*****
He'd always been an observer. It was necessary, living in Roswell and being what he was. But watching Liz Parker was like second nature to him.
It was almost as if he were living through her. Liz was not popular by the conventional standard in school, preferring to keep to her small group of friends, which consisted of Maria Deluca and Alex Whitman. In a way, she was like him, because he knew she was just as close to them as he was to Isabel and Michael. She was like this wonderful secret that only he knew about.
At least until she'd caught Kyle Valenti's eye. He’d had to endure seeing them together in the halls between classes, holding hands, kissing, arms around each other.
Each day, he felt as if his heart were being torn out of his chest, and yet, he couldn't stop his pilgrimages to the Crashdown. The routine he could see she thought was mundane was his lifeline to normalcy, and he grasped at it like a dying man.
Sometimes he liked to think that during the lulls when she sat at the counter with a far-off look in her eye, she was dreaming of something more, of someone more. How he wished he could be that someone. When that far-off look came into her eyes, he would have sworn she looked as if something were...missing.
But that was crazy, and he knew it. Yet he lived for the sporadic times she would make small talk at his table when the restaurant was slow, talking about Science or English or one of the other classes they had together. It only made him yearn to know her more, but he had to be satisfied with what he could get.
That was how it went for most of that year. He almost got used to seeing Kyle and Liz together, thought it didn't dull the jealousy he felt. It didn't change much on his end. He still made his visits to the Crashdown, and it was always when she was working. Very rarely did Kyle visit her while she was on her shift.
He'd never felt such longing as when he saw what he could never have with Liz Parker, the one person whose life he so desperately wished he could be a part of.
Maybe he could have taken the chance, but knowing what had happened, he somehow thought that if he had, it would only have made things worse.
He regretted so many things, but as much as he wished he could take back some of it, there were moments that he kept in his heart, little moments in time that he felt like he’d done something right.
Fall – 1999
He’d had the scare of his life. The day had been completely ordinary. He’d been in the Crashdown with Michael having lunch when it happened.
Liz was working. Michael had just about had it with him going to the restaurant, but Max refused to give up the one thing that he could still have. The only thing he could have, being near Liz on her shift.
The café was crowded and Liz and Maria were working the tables. Two men had started to argue near the front of the restaurant, and one pulled a gun. He’d actually pulled the trigger on the other man, but the gun hadn’t been fully loaded. At least, that was the only logical explanation Max could come up with. In horror, he watched the second man push the man’s hand away, and the gun was pointed in Liz’s direction. He watched the man’s finger close on the trigger as if in slow motion. Liz’s eyes widened in fear, and he was frozen to his seat. It was all happening too fast.
But no horrible crack filled the café. No smell of gunpowder filled the air, only the small click of the trigger. The two men panicked and ran out of the restaurant, amid the screams of the patrons.
Michael wanted to leave, but Max insisted they stay. It would only make them look suspicious.
They remained in their booth as the Sheriff took everyone’s statements, Max watching Liz at the counter in concern, still convincing himself that she was shaken up, but all right.
Finally, the Sheriff took their statements and they were allowed to leave.
Dreams of Liz being shot haunted him for days afterward. What would he have done?
He already knew. He would have saved her. Because it was Liz. The consequences be damned.
********
A few weeks had passed since the incident at the Crashown.
He’d been restless that night and he wasn’t sure why. Isabel was out on a date, and he was holed up in his room, as usual.
It had grown late, and he was nowhere near being able to fall asleep.
Lately he had been consumed with what he was. There were too many unanswered questions in his life, who he was, what his future held, what would become of him.
Would they spend the rest of their lives in hiding?
The hopelessness of his situation drove him out of his window, walking the streets. It was nothing he hadn’t done before. There were many nights when he walked alone through Roswell, wishing for something to change, wishing for some answers. He did it less often now that he had the jeep, but tonight he thought that if he walked it off, he might exhaust himself to the point where he would be able to sleep.
He headed toward the park, a routine he was used to. It was a place he went when he wanted to be alone with his restless thoughts. Not too many people hung around there at night, preferring to head out to the desert where there was less likely to be a problem with the local Sheriff, Kyle’s father.
He walked the tree-lined path, hands in his pockets, until he heard a soft sob and froze, looking up.
His throat tightened as he discovered Liz sitting by herself on the bench just ahead.
He considered turning back the way he came, leaving her to be by herself, when another sob broke the night air.
He couldn’t just walk away. The very sound of it tore at his heart. He approached her cautiously, not wanting to scare her, and not really sure she wanted him to intrude. But he couldn’t stop himself. She looked utterly lost sitting there by herself.
“Liz?” he called in a soft voice.
She looked up at him, startled, and he saw her tear-stained cheeks before she hastily tried to brush away the evidence, plastering a fake smile on her face.
“Oh, hey Max,” she said, and he heard the quiver in her voice. She averted her eyes.
Something terrible had to have happened for her to be sitting her by herself this late. He had horrible visions of predators waiting in the trees, possibly doing her harm. He would just try to stay as long as he could, and then maybe would just stick nearby, out of sight until she went home if she wanted to be alone.
“Are you ok? It’s late. You probably shouldn’t be sitting here alone,” he said.
Her head was lowered, and he couldn’t see her face.
“Yeah I’m fine,” she said, standing up. “I was just going to go...”
But she wasn’t fine. Without even thinking he reached out and grasped her arm.
“Is something wrong?” he asked.
She was still for a moment. For a split second, he almost regretted stopping her. She obviously wanted to be alone.
But then she spoke.
“Yeah actually,” she said, and her anguished eyes met his. “My grandmother is really sick. She’s in a coma.”
His heart went out to her, and he wished more than anything that he could just wrap her in his arms and make it all go away. But he was a stranger and she had a boyfriend.
“I’m sorry,” he said.
“Yeah, me too,” she said, shifting on her feet.
“Is there...anything I can do?” he asked.
She shook her head, pushing her hair behind her ear.
“No....there’s really nothing anyone can do. But thanks,” she said, looking at the ground. “She’s pretty bad.”
"I’m sorry," he repeated, feeling monumentally helpless for not having the right words to give her.
She nodded.
“I don’t know...it’s like...my Grandma, she’s been my confidant and she’s always there for me, and I don’t know what I am going to do if something really bad happens to her,” she whispered. “I just feel...lost.”
He knew that feeling well. He felt lost all of the time. He didn’t know how to respond, so he just said the first thing that popped into his head.
“I think...whatever happens, you’re going to be ok,” he said.
She looked up at him.
"How do you know that?" she asked.
Because he knew she was strong, and he knew that she had so many people that cared about her, including people she didn’t even know loved her from afar.
He looked up at the sky and shrugged.
"Because you’re a strong person,” he said.
“You don’t know me,” Liz answered, shaking her head.
“No, not really. But from what I’ve seen...I think that you’ll get through whatever is thrown at you. You have a lot of people that care about you. Your parents, Maria, Alex...Kyle,” he said in a low voice.
“It’s funny,” she sniffled. “I know they want to be there for me, and I know they mean well, but then why am I here, in a park? By myself?”
Who was he to judge? Wasn’t he doing the very same thing? He knew that there were just some things that he couldn’t talk to Michael and Isabel about. Especially about her, because they didn’t understand.
“There’s nothing wrong with needing some time for yourself. Sometimes really bad things happen and you feel like you're all alone. But sooner or later, the bad things fade. Nothing lasts forever, nothing good and nothing bad. It’s ok to want to be alone, just as long as you know that there are people who are there for you if you need them,” he said.
She bit her lip and kept her head lowered.
Right then and there, he thought he would tell her that she wasn’t alone, that if she needed him that he was there. Later, he realized that would have been monumentally stupid, but he was thinking with his heart.
“Liz, I...”
He never got to finish, because Isabel appeared on the path behind him.
“Max,” she called out.
He saw Liz look behind him, and she’d spotted his sister. He cursed her timing, but didn’t turn around, keeping his eyes on Liz.
“I should really go,” she said, pulling away and backing up.
“Max?” Isabel said again. Finally he turned to glance at her, knowing the moment, she spotted Liz, for her expression hardened.
“Oh...hi Liz,” she said in a flat tone as she stopped next to him.
“Hey Isabel,” Liz said, avoiding her gaze.
“I’ll see you in school Max,” she said, turning around.
“Liz,” he said, and she turned toward him again. In her eyes, he could see the deep-seated pain that darkened them.
“I’m sorry,” he said again, willing her to know that he meant it.
“Thanks,” she said, and turned, walking away.
“What is wrong with you?” Isabel hissed, as soon as she was out of earshot.
“What?” he snapped.
“You’re in the park in the middle of the night with Liz Parker,” she said. “How many times have we talked about this, Max? God!”
“Nothing happened!” he said angrily. “Why do you always assume the worst, huh?”
“Because you don’t use your brain when it comes to that girl. You never did. It’s bad enough that you go to that god-awful restaurant all the time. Now this?” she said.
“Get over it, Isabel,” he grated. “I told you nothing happened. I couldn’t sleep and she was sitting here alone, and she was upset. That’s it.”
“What the hell are you doing here anyway?” he asked angrily.
“I’m here with Tommy,” she said, turning, and he saw her date, the quarterback of the West Roswell football team standing a short distance away, waiting for her.
“Did you have fun?” he asked sarcastically.
“Yeah I did. It was a casual date,” she snapped, indignant. “He’s just a date. I’m not dreaming about spending the rest of my life with him. If I started to feel anything for him, he’s history. There’s the difference.”
Max shook his head.
“Then you should get back to him,” he said, dismissing her.
“Max,” she said, taking a softer tone. “We all agreed...”
“And I’m keeping the promise,” he said.
“Max, don’t be mad at me. I’m just trying to keep you from getting hurt, and her too,” she said.
There was an uncomfortable moment of silence before she spoke.
He looked down at the ground.
“I know,” he said tersely.
“So I’ll see you at home?” she asked, her eyes pleading with him to understand where she was coming from.
“Yeah,” he sighed finally.
She hugged him, and started back toward Tommy.
He watched them until they were out of sight, and then went in the opposite direction, filled with purpose. He might not be able to ever be with Liz, but maybe he could ease her pain.
*******
Will be back on Wednesday
Part Fourteen
First, I want to come back and respond to some of the feedback later. It's just going to be a busy couple of days coming up.
I apologize for not getting the part up last night, but I had a good reason. My one year old niece fell into a stone table and knocked her nose and mouth pretty good. My sister rushed her to the pediatrician while I watched her two year old, and it turns out she was pretty banged up, but ok. Scary stuff when you see blood pouring out of a baby's nose.
Anyway, I didn't start to do the things I had to do to prepare for the in-laws until after 10 p.m., LOL, so I didn't get on the net at all last night.
Without further ado, here's the next part.
Constellation of the Heart – Kate Bush
We take all the telescopes
And we turn them inside out
And we point them away from the big sky
Put your eye right up to the glass now
And here we'll find the constellation of the heart
Steer your life by the stars
On the unconditioned chance
'Tis here where hell and heaven dance
This is the constellation of the heart
We take all the telescopes
ANd we turn them inside out
ANd we point them away from the big sky
Put your eye right up to the glass now
And here we'll find the constellation of the heart
The constellation of the heart
The constellation of the heart
We take all the telescopes
And we turn them inside out
And we point them away from the big sky
Put your eye right up to the glass now
And here we'll find the constellation of the heart
The constellation of the heart
The constellation of the heart
Well we think you'd better wake up the capt'n
There's something happen'n up ahead
We've never seen anything like it
We've never seen anything like it before
I want a full report
That's it
What do you mean "that's it?"
What am I supposed to do about it?
We don't know but you can't run away from it
Maybe you'd better face it
I can't do that
C'mon face it!
I can't do that
C'mon, c'mon face it
What am I gonna do?
Is it gonna hurt, is it gonna hurt me bad
Ooh here's the constellation of the heart
Who said anything about it hurting?
It's gonna be beautiful
It's gonna be wonderful
It's gonna be paradise
(Just being alive it can really hurt...)
Ooh find me the man with the ladder
And he might lift me up to the stars
(Without the pain there'd be no learning
Without the hurting we'd never change)
Oooh and if you see the woman with the key
I hear she's opening up the doors to heaven
Oh and here comes the man with the stick
He said he'd fish me out the moon
Ooh here's the constellation of the heart
Ooh here's the constellation of the heart
It is the constellation of the heart
Oh yes it is the constellation of the heart
Part Fourteen
Fall – 1999
*~Max~*
The nursing shift was light at that time of the night, but it was still tricky getting into the ICU Ward. He used his powers to set off one of the monitors in a room down the hall, and the nurse left the desk to check on it.
He didn’t have much time.
He crept into Claudia Parker’s room, and paused, looking at all of the tubes and machinery surrounding her. She was on oxygen, and monitors were measuring her heartbeat.
He’d only done what he was about to do with animals, and he wasn’t sure what the outcome would be, but he didn’t think he could make things any worse. He had to try.
He reached out, cupping her cheeks with his hands, his fingers sliding to the back of her neck.
He concentrated on her cells, willing his energy to heal the damaged nerves caused by the stroke.
He felt the energy flowing through his hands, trying to repair what had gone so wrong.
It was too late. The damage was too great, ingrained in the cells. It had been happening for awhile, a slow series of mini strokes that had culminated in one grand mal that had irreparably damaged her nervous system. Desperately, he tried to revive the dead nerves.
“Hey! What are you doing in here?” a nurse said from the doorway, and he broke away from the older woman, gasping.
“I said what are you doing in here?” she asked.
Suddenly another alarm went off, and she looked toward the hallway.
“Wait right there!” she ordered and left the doorway.
He didn’t wait for her to return, but fled the room to the emergency staircase. As weak as he was from trying to heal Claudia, he knew he had to get out of the hospital. He tore down the stairs as quick as he could, the door bursting open to the night air.
He staggered out, sure he was free, when a hand grabbed his arm.
In panic, he tried to drag it away, turning to face his foe.
“What the hell were you thinking Maxwell?” a voice hissed.
*******
She’d died anyway, the next day.
He’d had to endure Michael and Isabel’s fury, but if given the second chance, he would have done it all over again. He had to try.
“I can’t believe you Max!” Isabel said, shaking her head. “You just got finished telling me you were keeping the promise, and what do you do?”
“You’re lucky Michael saw you on his way home. If it weren’t for him, you’d probably be in some FBI torture chamber right now!” she said, furious.
“I can’t believe you were that unbelievably stupid!” Michael said, sitting on his bed. “What were you thinking?”
“Oh that’s rich coming from you, the one who does what he wants and thinks about the consequences later!” Max retorted.
“You have to stop this Max,” Isabel said. “You can’t just...go and put us all in danger like that. It’s not only you that’s at risk here.”
“Don’t tell me what to do!” Max shouted. “The three of us...we’re all stuck together, but you don’t own my life! I’ve done what you asked. I’ve stayed away from Liz. It was something I had to do. I had to try.”
“And you could have exposed all of us,” Michael retorted.
“She’s dead. I couldn’t save her, so you’re safe. Are you both happy now?” Max muttered.
“You think this makes us happy?” Isabel said. “Don’t you think I would love to use my powers for good? But I can’t Max, because if anyone knew...anyone, we’re all as good as dead and you know it!”
“I’m sorry, all right?” Max said. “I’m sorry.”
“Look,” Michael said. “Nothing happened. No harm, no foul. But there’s gonna be a report of an intruder. You have to stay away from Liz now. It’s important. No one can link you to what happened in the hospital.”
“Fine,” Max said quietly. “I won’t speak to her. I won’t acknowledge her.”
Isabel's face softened in sympathy, as Michael left the room.
"Max, I wish...I wish things could be different for all of us. I wish we were normal. You're my brother, and I want to see you happy. I want that more than anything. But it's too dangerous to let anyone in."
Max nodded.
"I know that," he said. "Sometimes I just wish..."
"I know," Isabel said, putting her arm around his shoulder. "I have my wishes too. Believe me, if I knew for sure there was a way to know for sure that it would be safe, I would make yours come true."
*******
When Liz came back to school, Max had seen the change in her. She looked at him differently. He could sense that she was trying to get his attention, but Isabel and Michael were right. He couldn’t afford to be linked to Claudia Parker in any way.
And so, though it tore his heart out to do it, he had to remain distant.
Everything depended on it.
He wished that he could tell her that he tried. He wished that he could tell her that he would have given anything to fix it. But the reality of it was, she wouldn’t understand. No one would understand.
******
Winter – 2000
Despite his anger at Michael, Max worried about him. He and Isabel hated that they had wound up with a loving family while Michael wound up in the foster care system.
The man he’d been with for the past two years was worse than all of the rest of them, a mean drunk named Hank.
Hank had gotten especially irascible that winter, and had been taking it out on Michael.
More than once, Michael had appeared with bruises on his face, a by-product of Hank’s rage. He had only taken Michael on for the check. But taking Michael as a ward had presented Hank with an unforeseen benefit. Michael became his punching bag.
It had taken everything Max had not to heal the damage Hank had wrought on Michael's face. It broke his heart to have to stand by and watch the abuse the drunken man inflicted on his best friend. Isabel had cried herself to sleep many of those nights.
Max and Isabel had pleaded with him to stay with them permanently, but Michael always stoically reminded him that there was nothing any of them could do about it without drawing unwanted attention.
It didn’t stop Max and Isabel from continuing to ask.
But one night, even Michael reached the point of no return with his foster father.
Hank had come home after a night at the bar, wanting to take his drunken frustrations out on something, and Michael was the convenient choice. He'd lost his job that day and had gone on a bender of the likes Michael had never seen.
At three a.m., Max heard the insistent tap at his window that had over the years become so familiar. Not fully awake, he'd risen from his bed to open it for Michael. It had been common for Michael to spend the night on Max's floor when Hank was in one of his "moods", if he could get out of the way in time to avoid a beating.
His eyes still bleary, he opened the window, and seeing the look on Michael's face made his blood run cold and his body awaken with a chill of foreboding.
This time was different. This time, something had gone terribly wrong. He could see it in Michael's tear-stained face.
"Come in," he whispered, stepping back to let him climb in. Michael pushed through the window and dropped to the floor, putting his head in his hands. Something had gone terribly wrong. Max could feel it.
""Wait here," he said, and went to get Isabel. Michael didn't protest, and he went to wake his sister up.
When they returned to his room, Michael remained in the same spot Max had left him.
Isabel put a comforting arm around Michael.
"What happened Michael?" he asked in a quiet voice.
"He's dead," Michael said in a toneless voice. "I killed him."
Isabel's eyes flew to his in fear. So many times they'd discussed talking to their parents about bringing Michael to their home, to get him away from Hank, but Michael wouldn't have it.
Now, things had gotten out of hand.
Neither he nor Isabel spoke, waiting for him to continue.
"He had a rifle to my head. He was going to kill me. I didn't mean it," Michael said, his voice cracking, face crumpling.
"I just wanted to get him away from me. I couldn't control it, the energy," he said, his voice trembling.
"I threw him across the room with my powers. I don’t even know how I did it. When I went to check him, and his neck was broken. He was...burned. I burned him. I didn't mean to...I didn't mean it," he said, his shoulders shaking with silent sobs.
"I'm glad the bastard's dead," Isabel said with an icy look on her face. "It should have happened a long time ago, after all he's done to you."
"What do we do now?" he asked, raising his head to look at Max.
"We'll take care of it Michael," Max answered grimly. "Don't worry about it, we'll take care of it."
And they did. In the dead of night, they'd burned the body in the desert, and buried it.
Hank's disappearance wasn't really a surprise. Most of the town knew what he was like, and assumed he'd just up and left, as he tended to do for months at a time. Social services never knew, but most everyone else did.
Max and Isabel had talked their father into helping Michael get emancipated. Michael signed the papers a week later, and was officially on his own.
A few kids who had gone out to the desert to party found the following month Hank’s burned body there and his remains were identified using dental records.
The death was listed as suspicious. The Sheriff questioned Michael, but nothing could be proven.
What they couldn't have known was that another unpublished piece of evidence had been found on the body. The bones were covered in a silvery substance that did not exist on Earth.
Something called Cadmium X.
*********
The following months were dominated by fear. Fear that someone would find out the terrible truth about Hank, and consequently what they were. They didn’t even know what they were, or where they were from.
They watched everything and everyone in town, just waiting for the other foot to drop.
So when Tess Harding, a new girl, suddenly appeared at West Roswell High three days after the body was found, Max was automatically suspicious.
Tess had immediately latched herself onto Isabel, much to Max and Michael's suspicion. Max could sense something different about her, and she gave him an uneasy feeling.
The day he walked into the house with Michael and found Tess with Isabel, they waited until she came out to the kitchen to confront her.
“What is she doing here?” Michael hissed, grabbing her arm as she went into the refrigerator to get a drink.
“Hanging out,” she answered, annoyed, as if it were a stupid question.
“I don’t like her Isabel,” Max said in a low voice. “There’s something about her. You shouldn’t bring her here. We have to be more careful than ever now.”
Isabel swung her hair over her shoulder.
“You two told me to keep up appearances, and that’s what I’m doing,” she snapped. “No one told you that you had to stop going to the Crashdown to watch Liz,” she hissed at Max. “And you put us all in danger. I haven’t made a big deal about that, so just lay off.”
“Isabel, we don’t know who she is!” Max argued.
“She’s a new girl. I like her. There’s nothing weird about her. We’ve done nothing but normal girl things, and she’s nice. You two would see it too if you gave her a chance,” she said, glaring at them.
“Never happen,” Michael growled.
Isabel let out an irritated sigh, moving away from them before pausing in the doorway.
“Michael, did you ever consider acting like a normal human being? It’s better to blend in, yet you continue to isolate yourself from everyone but us. I think that looks more suspicious than spending some normal teenaged girl time with someone who’s new here. She doesn’t know anybody, and I don’t get any weird vibes off of her,” she said.
“Well I do,” Max argued.
“You’re paranoid,” Isabel huffed. “I’m going to my room.”
Michael and Max waited until she heard the door shut to talk.
“I don’t like this at all,” Michael growled.
“We just have to keep an eye on her. I don’t care what Isabel says. There’s something off with her. I can feel it,” Max answered.
*****
Max and Michael did some investigating, taking her student file from the main office at the school. She had transferred from Arizona.
Michael went and took a look at the house shortly after, and came into school visibly shaken.
Max noticed his demeanor right away.
Michael motioned for him to follow him into the bathroom, and they waited until it cleared out to talk.
“What happened Michael?” Max asked in a low voice.
“I went over there this morning, to her house. We’re in trouble,” he said, leaning against the wall.
“What are you talking about?” Max asked.
Michael leaned his head back.
“She wasn’t there, but some other people were. Military MP’s. This doesn’t look good,” he said, looking at him.
“Don’t panic, Michael. Nothing’s happened. We just have to be careful now,” Max said, but truthfully he was worried too.
“We have to tell Isabel,” Michael said, and he nodded.
“We’ll tell her at lunch,” he agreed.
“We have to get her away from Tess,” he said.
“I see her next period. I’ll tell her we need to talk. We’ll go the taco stand,” he said, and Michael nodded.
********
“What the hell is going on?” Isabel asked from the back of the jeep as Max drove off school grounds.
Michael turned toward her.
“Tess is one of them,” he said.
“What do you mean?” Isabel snapped. “You know, I’m really getting tired of the two of you giving me a hard time because I’m hanging out with her.”
“Her house was crawling with military this morning,” Michael said, glaring at her.
“What?” she asked in disbelief, shaking her head.
“I’m sure there’s a logical explanation for it,” she said.
“Isabel, we can’t afford to make any mistakes now. Our lives depend on it,” Max said, glancing at her in the mirror.
“Fine,” she said. “Let me look into it, at least. Maybe I can find out what’s going on.”
“It’s too dangerous,” Max said, concentrating on the road.
“We can’t just sit here waiting for something to drop on our heads. I’m the closest to her, so I’ll try to find out what’s going on. But for the record, I think you two are over-reacting,” Isabel said.
“I don’t like this,” Michael grumbled, looking out the window.
************
Max came home that afternoon to find Isabel in tears in her room.
“Isabel, what’s wrong?” he asked concerned, sitting down next to her.
She shook her head.
“You were right, there’s something off about Tess,” she said, trembling.
“What happened?” he asked, alarmed.
“She’s one of us, or she’s like us,” she said, wiping the tears from her cheeks. “We were here today, and just hanging out in the kitchen, and I just asked her what her dad did, and she just started acting weird. She grabbed my arm, and I got these...flashes of our planet.”
“What do you mean?” Max asked, suddenly afraid. “How do you know it was our planet?”
“I don’t know. I just know. It was...familiar, like a memory I had at one time and had forgotten it,” she said, turning to him.
“Max, I don’t know what she’s doing here, but I’m afraid. After I got those flashes, she just acted like nothing happened. She said her Dad was a military consultant. But there’s something more to this. If she’s one of us, then why are the military at her house? Why would her father be involved with them?” she asked.
“I don’t know,” Max said, feeling the same sense of uneasiness he’d been feeling since Tess came to town grow exponentially.
“She scares me Max,” Isabel said.
“We’ll handle it, Iz,” he said, standing up. “Just stay away from her.”
Isabel nodded.
“I should have listened to you. I’m sorry,” she said.
“Sometimes we all do things we shouldn’t,” he said gently. “Sometimes we just follow our hearts, and it isn't always the right thing to do.”
She looked up at him, and he saw the recognition dawn in her eyes, knowing that finally understanding where he was coming from with Liz Parker.
“She wasn’t like the other girls I was friends with,” she said. “I thought maybe we could be friends, and I really wanted that. I should have known better.”
“No one’s blaming you,” he said, shaking his head.
“But you aren’t judging me either. Michael and I were so terrible to you after the hospital thing,” she said miserably.
“I’ve already forgotten it,” Max said, leaning against the doorjamb. “You and Michael are all I have. I know you were just thinking of what could have happened.”
“No, we were being selfish,” she said quietly. “And I’m sorry.”
He smiled at her.
“It’s ok,” he said. “Just...we have to be really careful now.”
“I know,” she said. “I’m going to stay away from her.”
He nodded.
“It’s probably for the best,” he said.
********
Isabel kept to her word and avoided Tess.
But Tess seemed to have other plans now. Suddenly she seemed to be everywhere he was.
If he was at his locker, she suddenly showed up, asking him if he had notes from their English class they had together.
When he went out to his jeep, she was leaning against it, wanting to know where Isabel was. He felt a sudden strange pull toward her, like nothing he’d ever felt before. Something alien, something powerful.
He tried to resist it, but as the days went on, it became stronger. He started to have day dreams of the two of them locked in a passionate embrace against the desert night sky, making love under a V-shaped constellation high above in the heavens.
It repulsed him, and scared him more than he cared to admit, because he didn’t want to feel that way. It felt forced, as if he were acting against his own will.
It all boiled over one rainy night outside the Crashdown.
He’d gone for his usual dinner.
His thoughts had been so chaotic lately, and one worry seemed to pile on top of another, and he felt almost crushed by it. But those few hours in the Crashdown made him forget it all, at least for a little while.
He watched Liz make her rounds to her tables, smiling politely at the customers, immersed in a routine she knew like the back of her hand by now.
It was the one constant that never changed in his life. No matter what was going on in his life, he could come here and see the normal life that she led, and it gave him peace where nothing else could.
How he wished for ordinary. He imagined Liz dreamed of more, of bigger towns and bigger dreams, but he knew if he could, he would give up what he was in a heartbeat if only to wake up without fear of what the day would bring.
She had a loving family, loyal friends and a future that she’d surely planned for herself, filled with dreams of a rewarding career, a family, a spouse and children, things he would most likely never have.
He sighed as he watched her giggle with Maria behind the counter. She looked over and caught his eyes and smiled.
He smiled back and turned his eyes away, pretending to study the menu. He reminded himself that he had to remain politely detached. There was no other option.
A moment later, she came to take his order, but she didn’t linger. The restaurant was unusually busy that night.
He was sure that the Parkers wouldn’t appreciate him lingering in a booth where one of the waiting customers could be sitting, so he ate, paid his bill and left.
It had started to rain while he was inside, and progressed to a downpour by the time he left the restaurant.
His eyes wandered across the street and he froze.
For there stood Tess in the rain, steam pouring from underneath the hood of her small SUV.
He felt the pull again, stronger than ever.
“Max,” she called out, and he felt his feet moving toward her, against his will.
“Thank God,” she said, with relief. “ I was just about to try to call a tow truck. Can you help me?”
His emotions waged an internal battle. His body was drawn toward her, but his mind wanted nothing more than to flee.
“Why are you here?” he asked, feeling the rain pouring down his face.
She looked at him innocently, but he knew she was anything but innocent.
“What do you mean? I just came into town for some dinner and my car broke down,” she said batting her eyes.
“Who are you?” he asked fearfully.
“Pardon?” she asked, her brow knitting into a frown. “Max, are you all right?”
Again he felt powerful energy pulling at his insides.
“What are you doing to me?” he asked, his voice cracking.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she said, shaking her head.
“I don’t feel that way about you,” he said, feeling his body moving closer to her, despite his urge to pull away.
“Okay,” she said.
“I don’t...I don’t want you like that,” he said, his head coming closer to hers, pushed against his will.
“I understand,” she said, as his lips closed over hers.
He wanted to be sick. He wanted to run. He wanted to push her away, but he had no control over his own body.
Images flashed in his mind, images of four; Isabel, Michael, Tess and himself. A unit. Powerful.
He used every last ounce of energy to pull away from her.
“What do you want from us?” he asked, panting.
“I don’t want anything. But I know you want answers. I can give them to you,” she said, cocking her head
“Answers to what?” he evaded.
“To what you are...to what we are. Where we came from, why we’re here. Don’t you want to know Max? Don’t you feel it? You knew what I was. You knew that I was like you, even when Isabel was oblivious. Think Max. You know the truth already. You just don’t want to face it,” she said.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he hedged.
“Then let me show you,” she said.
He nodded, and she followed him to the jeep.
“Where are we going?” he asked.
“To the desert, where we were born,” she answered, as she climbed in.
He put the keys in the ignition and paused, staring at her. She turned toward him.
"What?" she said.
"Don't ever do that to me again," Max said.
********
See you all on Sunday. And don't worry about Tess and Max. He's sort of on to her already.
I apologize for not getting the part up last night, but I had a good reason. My one year old niece fell into a stone table and knocked her nose and mouth pretty good. My sister rushed her to the pediatrician while I watched her two year old, and it turns out she was pretty banged up, but ok. Scary stuff when you see blood pouring out of a baby's nose.
Anyway, I didn't start to do the things I had to do to prepare for the in-laws until after 10 p.m., LOL, so I didn't get on the net at all last night.
Without further ado, here's the next part.
Constellation of the Heart – Kate Bush
We take all the telescopes
And we turn them inside out
And we point them away from the big sky
Put your eye right up to the glass now
And here we'll find the constellation of the heart
Steer your life by the stars
On the unconditioned chance
'Tis here where hell and heaven dance
This is the constellation of the heart
We take all the telescopes
ANd we turn them inside out
ANd we point them away from the big sky
Put your eye right up to the glass now
And here we'll find the constellation of the heart
The constellation of the heart
The constellation of the heart
We take all the telescopes
And we turn them inside out
And we point them away from the big sky
Put your eye right up to the glass now
And here we'll find the constellation of the heart
The constellation of the heart
The constellation of the heart
Well we think you'd better wake up the capt'n
There's something happen'n up ahead
We've never seen anything like it
We've never seen anything like it before
I want a full report
That's it
What do you mean "that's it?"
What am I supposed to do about it?
We don't know but you can't run away from it
Maybe you'd better face it
I can't do that
C'mon face it!
I can't do that
C'mon, c'mon face it
What am I gonna do?
Is it gonna hurt, is it gonna hurt me bad
Ooh here's the constellation of the heart
Who said anything about it hurting?
It's gonna be beautiful
It's gonna be wonderful
It's gonna be paradise
(Just being alive it can really hurt...)
Ooh find me the man with the ladder
And he might lift me up to the stars
(Without the pain there'd be no learning
Without the hurting we'd never change)
Oooh and if you see the woman with the key
I hear she's opening up the doors to heaven
Oh and here comes the man with the stick
He said he'd fish me out the moon
Ooh here's the constellation of the heart
Ooh here's the constellation of the heart
It is the constellation of the heart
Oh yes it is the constellation of the heart
Part Fourteen
Fall – 1999
*~Max~*
The nursing shift was light at that time of the night, but it was still tricky getting into the ICU Ward. He used his powers to set off one of the monitors in a room down the hall, and the nurse left the desk to check on it.
He didn’t have much time.
He crept into Claudia Parker’s room, and paused, looking at all of the tubes and machinery surrounding her. She was on oxygen, and monitors were measuring her heartbeat.
He’d only done what he was about to do with animals, and he wasn’t sure what the outcome would be, but he didn’t think he could make things any worse. He had to try.
He reached out, cupping her cheeks with his hands, his fingers sliding to the back of her neck.
He concentrated on her cells, willing his energy to heal the damaged nerves caused by the stroke.
He felt the energy flowing through his hands, trying to repair what had gone so wrong.
It was too late. The damage was too great, ingrained in the cells. It had been happening for awhile, a slow series of mini strokes that had culminated in one grand mal that had irreparably damaged her nervous system. Desperately, he tried to revive the dead nerves.
“Hey! What are you doing in here?” a nurse said from the doorway, and he broke away from the older woman, gasping.
“I said what are you doing in here?” she asked.
Suddenly another alarm went off, and she looked toward the hallway.
“Wait right there!” she ordered and left the doorway.
He didn’t wait for her to return, but fled the room to the emergency staircase. As weak as he was from trying to heal Claudia, he knew he had to get out of the hospital. He tore down the stairs as quick as he could, the door bursting open to the night air.
He staggered out, sure he was free, when a hand grabbed his arm.
In panic, he tried to drag it away, turning to face his foe.
“What the hell were you thinking Maxwell?” a voice hissed.
*******
She’d died anyway, the next day.
He’d had to endure Michael and Isabel’s fury, but if given the second chance, he would have done it all over again. He had to try.
“I can’t believe you Max!” Isabel said, shaking her head. “You just got finished telling me you were keeping the promise, and what do you do?”
“You’re lucky Michael saw you on his way home. If it weren’t for him, you’d probably be in some FBI torture chamber right now!” she said, furious.
“I can’t believe you were that unbelievably stupid!” Michael said, sitting on his bed. “What were you thinking?”
“Oh that’s rich coming from you, the one who does what he wants and thinks about the consequences later!” Max retorted.
“You have to stop this Max,” Isabel said. “You can’t just...go and put us all in danger like that. It’s not only you that’s at risk here.”
“Don’t tell me what to do!” Max shouted. “The three of us...we’re all stuck together, but you don’t own my life! I’ve done what you asked. I’ve stayed away from Liz. It was something I had to do. I had to try.”
“And you could have exposed all of us,” Michael retorted.
“She’s dead. I couldn’t save her, so you’re safe. Are you both happy now?” Max muttered.
“You think this makes us happy?” Isabel said. “Don’t you think I would love to use my powers for good? But I can’t Max, because if anyone knew...anyone, we’re all as good as dead and you know it!”
“I’m sorry, all right?” Max said. “I’m sorry.”
“Look,” Michael said. “Nothing happened. No harm, no foul. But there’s gonna be a report of an intruder. You have to stay away from Liz now. It’s important. No one can link you to what happened in the hospital.”
“Fine,” Max said quietly. “I won’t speak to her. I won’t acknowledge her.”
Isabel's face softened in sympathy, as Michael left the room.
"Max, I wish...I wish things could be different for all of us. I wish we were normal. You're my brother, and I want to see you happy. I want that more than anything. But it's too dangerous to let anyone in."
Max nodded.
"I know that," he said. "Sometimes I just wish..."
"I know," Isabel said, putting her arm around his shoulder. "I have my wishes too. Believe me, if I knew for sure there was a way to know for sure that it would be safe, I would make yours come true."
*******
When Liz came back to school, Max had seen the change in her. She looked at him differently. He could sense that she was trying to get his attention, but Isabel and Michael were right. He couldn’t afford to be linked to Claudia Parker in any way.
And so, though it tore his heart out to do it, he had to remain distant.
Everything depended on it.
He wished that he could tell her that he tried. He wished that he could tell her that he would have given anything to fix it. But the reality of it was, she wouldn’t understand. No one would understand.
******
Winter – 2000
Despite his anger at Michael, Max worried about him. He and Isabel hated that they had wound up with a loving family while Michael wound up in the foster care system.
The man he’d been with for the past two years was worse than all of the rest of them, a mean drunk named Hank.
Hank had gotten especially irascible that winter, and had been taking it out on Michael.
More than once, Michael had appeared with bruises on his face, a by-product of Hank’s rage. He had only taken Michael on for the check. But taking Michael as a ward had presented Hank with an unforeseen benefit. Michael became his punching bag.
It had taken everything Max had not to heal the damage Hank had wrought on Michael's face. It broke his heart to have to stand by and watch the abuse the drunken man inflicted on his best friend. Isabel had cried herself to sleep many of those nights.
Max and Isabel had pleaded with him to stay with them permanently, but Michael always stoically reminded him that there was nothing any of them could do about it without drawing unwanted attention.
It didn’t stop Max and Isabel from continuing to ask.
But one night, even Michael reached the point of no return with his foster father.
Hank had come home after a night at the bar, wanting to take his drunken frustrations out on something, and Michael was the convenient choice. He'd lost his job that day and had gone on a bender of the likes Michael had never seen.
At three a.m., Max heard the insistent tap at his window that had over the years become so familiar. Not fully awake, he'd risen from his bed to open it for Michael. It had been common for Michael to spend the night on Max's floor when Hank was in one of his "moods", if he could get out of the way in time to avoid a beating.
His eyes still bleary, he opened the window, and seeing the look on Michael's face made his blood run cold and his body awaken with a chill of foreboding.
This time was different. This time, something had gone terribly wrong. He could see it in Michael's tear-stained face.
"Come in," he whispered, stepping back to let him climb in. Michael pushed through the window and dropped to the floor, putting his head in his hands. Something had gone terribly wrong. Max could feel it.
""Wait here," he said, and went to get Isabel. Michael didn't protest, and he went to wake his sister up.
When they returned to his room, Michael remained in the same spot Max had left him.
Isabel put a comforting arm around Michael.
"What happened Michael?" he asked in a quiet voice.
"He's dead," Michael said in a toneless voice. "I killed him."
Isabel's eyes flew to his in fear. So many times they'd discussed talking to their parents about bringing Michael to their home, to get him away from Hank, but Michael wouldn't have it.
Now, things had gotten out of hand.
Neither he nor Isabel spoke, waiting for him to continue.
"He had a rifle to my head. He was going to kill me. I didn't mean it," Michael said, his voice cracking, face crumpling.
"I just wanted to get him away from me. I couldn't control it, the energy," he said, his voice trembling.
"I threw him across the room with my powers. I don’t even know how I did it. When I went to check him, and his neck was broken. He was...burned. I burned him. I didn't mean to...I didn't mean it," he said, his shoulders shaking with silent sobs.
"I'm glad the bastard's dead," Isabel said with an icy look on her face. "It should have happened a long time ago, after all he's done to you."
"What do we do now?" he asked, raising his head to look at Max.
"We'll take care of it Michael," Max answered grimly. "Don't worry about it, we'll take care of it."
And they did. In the dead of night, they'd burned the body in the desert, and buried it.
Hank's disappearance wasn't really a surprise. Most of the town knew what he was like, and assumed he'd just up and left, as he tended to do for months at a time. Social services never knew, but most everyone else did.
Max and Isabel had talked their father into helping Michael get emancipated. Michael signed the papers a week later, and was officially on his own.
A few kids who had gone out to the desert to party found the following month Hank’s burned body there and his remains were identified using dental records.
The death was listed as suspicious. The Sheriff questioned Michael, but nothing could be proven.
What they couldn't have known was that another unpublished piece of evidence had been found on the body. The bones were covered in a silvery substance that did not exist on Earth.
Something called Cadmium X.
*********
The following months were dominated by fear. Fear that someone would find out the terrible truth about Hank, and consequently what they were. They didn’t even know what they were, or where they were from.
They watched everything and everyone in town, just waiting for the other foot to drop.
So when Tess Harding, a new girl, suddenly appeared at West Roswell High three days after the body was found, Max was automatically suspicious.
Tess had immediately latched herself onto Isabel, much to Max and Michael's suspicion. Max could sense something different about her, and she gave him an uneasy feeling.
The day he walked into the house with Michael and found Tess with Isabel, they waited until she came out to the kitchen to confront her.
“What is she doing here?” Michael hissed, grabbing her arm as she went into the refrigerator to get a drink.
“Hanging out,” she answered, annoyed, as if it were a stupid question.
“I don’t like her Isabel,” Max said in a low voice. “There’s something about her. You shouldn’t bring her here. We have to be more careful than ever now.”
Isabel swung her hair over her shoulder.
“You two told me to keep up appearances, and that’s what I’m doing,” she snapped. “No one told you that you had to stop going to the Crashdown to watch Liz,” she hissed at Max. “And you put us all in danger. I haven’t made a big deal about that, so just lay off.”
“Isabel, we don’t know who she is!” Max argued.
“She’s a new girl. I like her. There’s nothing weird about her. We’ve done nothing but normal girl things, and she’s nice. You two would see it too if you gave her a chance,” she said, glaring at them.
“Never happen,” Michael growled.
Isabel let out an irritated sigh, moving away from them before pausing in the doorway.
“Michael, did you ever consider acting like a normal human being? It’s better to blend in, yet you continue to isolate yourself from everyone but us. I think that looks more suspicious than spending some normal teenaged girl time with someone who’s new here. She doesn’t know anybody, and I don’t get any weird vibes off of her,” she said.
“Well I do,” Max argued.
“You’re paranoid,” Isabel huffed. “I’m going to my room.”
Michael and Max waited until she heard the door shut to talk.
“I don’t like this at all,” Michael growled.
“We just have to keep an eye on her. I don’t care what Isabel says. There’s something off with her. I can feel it,” Max answered.
*****
Max and Michael did some investigating, taking her student file from the main office at the school. She had transferred from Arizona.
Michael went and took a look at the house shortly after, and came into school visibly shaken.
Max noticed his demeanor right away.
Michael motioned for him to follow him into the bathroom, and they waited until it cleared out to talk.
“What happened Michael?” Max asked in a low voice.
“I went over there this morning, to her house. We’re in trouble,” he said, leaning against the wall.
“What are you talking about?” Max asked.
Michael leaned his head back.
“She wasn’t there, but some other people were. Military MP’s. This doesn’t look good,” he said, looking at him.
“Don’t panic, Michael. Nothing’s happened. We just have to be careful now,” Max said, but truthfully he was worried too.
“We have to tell Isabel,” Michael said, and he nodded.
“We’ll tell her at lunch,” he agreed.
“We have to get her away from Tess,” he said.
“I see her next period. I’ll tell her we need to talk. We’ll go the taco stand,” he said, and Michael nodded.
********
“What the hell is going on?” Isabel asked from the back of the jeep as Max drove off school grounds.
Michael turned toward her.
“Tess is one of them,” he said.
“What do you mean?” Isabel snapped. “You know, I’m really getting tired of the two of you giving me a hard time because I’m hanging out with her.”
“Her house was crawling with military this morning,” Michael said, glaring at her.
“What?” she asked in disbelief, shaking her head.
“I’m sure there’s a logical explanation for it,” she said.
“Isabel, we can’t afford to make any mistakes now. Our lives depend on it,” Max said, glancing at her in the mirror.
“Fine,” she said. “Let me look into it, at least. Maybe I can find out what’s going on.”
“It’s too dangerous,” Max said, concentrating on the road.
“We can’t just sit here waiting for something to drop on our heads. I’m the closest to her, so I’ll try to find out what’s going on. But for the record, I think you two are over-reacting,” Isabel said.
“I don’t like this,” Michael grumbled, looking out the window.
************
Max came home that afternoon to find Isabel in tears in her room.
“Isabel, what’s wrong?” he asked concerned, sitting down next to her.
She shook her head.
“You were right, there’s something off about Tess,” she said, trembling.
“What happened?” he asked, alarmed.
“She’s one of us, or she’s like us,” she said, wiping the tears from her cheeks. “We were here today, and just hanging out in the kitchen, and I just asked her what her dad did, and she just started acting weird. She grabbed my arm, and I got these...flashes of our planet.”
“What do you mean?” Max asked, suddenly afraid. “How do you know it was our planet?”
“I don’t know. I just know. It was...familiar, like a memory I had at one time and had forgotten it,” she said, turning to him.
“Max, I don’t know what she’s doing here, but I’m afraid. After I got those flashes, she just acted like nothing happened. She said her Dad was a military consultant. But there’s something more to this. If she’s one of us, then why are the military at her house? Why would her father be involved with them?” she asked.
“I don’t know,” Max said, feeling the same sense of uneasiness he’d been feeling since Tess came to town grow exponentially.
“She scares me Max,” Isabel said.
“We’ll handle it, Iz,” he said, standing up. “Just stay away from her.”
Isabel nodded.
“I should have listened to you. I’m sorry,” she said.
“Sometimes we all do things we shouldn’t,” he said gently. “Sometimes we just follow our hearts, and it isn't always the right thing to do.”
She looked up at him, and he saw the recognition dawn in her eyes, knowing that finally understanding where he was coming from with Liz Parker.
“She wasn’t like the other girls I was friends with,” she said. “I thought maybe we could be friends, and I really wanted that. I should have known better.”
“No one’s blaming you,” he said, shaking his head.
“But you aren’t judging me either. Michael and I were so terrible to you after the hospital thing,” she said miserably.
“I’ve already forgotten it,” Max said, leaning against the doorjamb. “You and Michael are all I have. I know you were just thinking of what could have happened.”
“No, we were being selfish,” she said quietly. “And I’m sorry.”
He smiled at her.
“It’s ok,” he said. “Just...we have to be really careful now.”
“I know,” she said. “I’m going to stay away from her.”
He nodded.
“It’s probably for the best,” he said.
********
Isabel kept to her word and avoided Tess.
But Tess seemed to have other plans now. Suddenly she seemed to be everywhere he was.
If he was at his locker, she suddenly showed up, asking him if he had notes from their English class they had together.
When he went out to his jeep, she was leaning against it, wanting to know where Isabel was. He felt a sudden strange pull toward her, like nothing he’d ever felt before. Something alien, something powerful.
He tried to resist it, but as the days went on, it became stronger. He started to have day dreams of the two of them locked in a passionate embrace against the desert night sky, making love under a V-shaped constellation high above in the heavens.
It repulsed him, and scared him more than he cared to admit, because he didn’t want to feel that way. It felt forced, as if he were acting against his own will.
It all boiled over one rainy night outside the Crashdown.
He’d gone for his usual dinner.
His thoughts had been so chaotic lately, and one worry seemed to pile on top of another, and he felt almost crushed by it. But those few hours in the Crashdown made him forget it all, at least for a little while.
He watched Liz make her rounds to her tables, smiling politely at the customers, immersed in a routine she knew like the back of her hand by now.
It was the one constant that never changed in his life. No matter what was going on in his life, he could come here and see the normal life that she led, and it gave him peace where nothing else could.
How he wished for ordinary. He imagined Liz dreamed of more, of bigger towns and bigger dreams, but he knew if he could, he would give up what he was in a heartbeat if only to wake up without fear of what the day would bring.
She had a loving family, loyal friends and a future that she’d surely planned for herself, filled with dreams of a rewarding career, a family, a spouse and children, things he would most likely never have.
He sighed as he watched her giggle with Maria behind the counter. She looked over and caught his eyes and smiled.
He smiled back and turned his eyes away, pretending to study the menu. He reminded himself that he had to remain politely detached. There was no other option.
A moment later, she came to take his order, but she didn’t linger. The restaurant was unusually busy that night.
He was sure that the Parkers wouldn’t appreciate him lingering in a booth where one of the waiting customers could be sitting, so he ate, paid his bill and left.
It had started to rain while he was inside, and progressed to a downpour by the time he left the restaurant.
His eyes wandered across the street and he froze.
For there stood Tess in the rain, steam pouring from underneath the hood of her small SUV.
He felt the pull again, stronger than ever.
“Max,” she called out, and he felt his feet moving toward her, against his will.
“Thank God,” she said, with relief. “ I was just about to try to call a tow truck. Can you help me?”
His emotions waged an internal battle. His body was drawn toward her, but his mind wanted nothing more than to flee.
“Why are you here?” he asked, feeling the rain pouring down his face.
She looked at him innocently, but he knew she was anything but innocent.
“What do you mean? I just came into town for some dinner and my car broke down,” she said batting her eyes.
“Who are you?” he asked fearfully.
“Pardon?” she asked, her brow knitting into a frown. “Max, are you all right?”
Again he felt powerful energy pulling at his insides.
“What are you doing to me?” he asked, his voice cracking.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she said, shaking her head.
“I don’t feel that way about you,” he said, feeling his body moving closer to her, despite his urge to pull away.
“Okay,” she said.
“I don’t...I don’t want you like that,” he said, his head coming closer to hers, pushed against his will.
“I understand,” she said, as his lips closed over hers.
He wanted to be sick. He wanted to run. He wanted to push her away, but he had no control over his own body.
Images flashed in his mind, images of four; Isabel, Michael, Tess and himself. A unit. Powerful.
He used every last ounce of energy to pull away from her.
“What do you want from us?” he asked, panting.
“I don’t want anything. But I know you want answers. I can give them to you,” she said, cocking her head
“Answers to what?” he evaded.
“To what you are...to what we are. Where we came from, why we’re here. Don’t you want to know Max? Don’t you feel it? You knew what I was. You knew that I was like you, even when Isabel was oblivious. Think Max. You know the truth already. You just don’t want to face it,” she said.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he hedged.
“Then let me show you,” she said.
He nodded, and she followed him to the jeep.
“Where are we going?” he asked.
“To the desert, where we were born,” she answered, as she climbed in.
He put the keys in the ignition and paused, staring at her. She turned toward him.
"What?" she said.
"Don't ever do that to me again," Max said.
********
See you all on Sunday. And don't worry about Tess and Max. He's sort of on to her already.
Part 15
Posting and running because my company's still here.
Spies - Coldplay
I awake to find no peace of mind,
I said, how do you live as a fugitive?
Down here where I cannot see so clear.
I said, what do I know?
Show me the right way to go,
And the spies came out of the water,
But you're feeling so bad cos you know,
And the spies hide out in every corner,
But you can't touch them no,
Cos they're all spies, they're all spies.
I awake to see that no one is free,
We're all fugitives,
Look at the way we live.
Down here, I cannot sleep from fear no.
I said, which way do I turn?
I forget everything I learn,
But the spies came out of the water,
But you're feeling so bad cos you know,
and the spies hide out in every corner,
But you can't touch them though,
Cos they're all spies, they're all spies.
And if we don't hide here,
They're going to find us,
If we don't hide now,
They're going to catch us where we sleep,
And if we don't hide here,
They're going to find us.
Part Fifteen
Spring – 2000
*~Max~*
The rain let up as they drove out of Roswell.
Soon she directed him to turn off the road, and ahead he saw a rock formation. It was familiar, too familiar. He remembered it now, moving away from it with Isabel and Michael, naked and afraid of this strange new world he’d been thrown into.
They stopped at the bottom, and she got out without waiting for him. He followed her up the outcropping until she stopped and waved her hand over the face of the rock, revealing a glowing print. She pressed her hand against it, and an entrance appeared.
She stepped in right away, but he hesitated, feeling as if his whole world was about to change, and it scared the hell out of him.
“Are you coming?” she asked from the darkness.
He stepped in.
A soft green glow emanated from one side of the chamber, and as he looked at it, memories he’d long forgotten flooded his head.
This was his birthplace. He’d come out of a one of those pods. Isabel and Michael were already out, beckoning to him. He turned to look at the pods again, and saw that one remained unbroken. He paused, not sure what to do. He didn’t want to leave her here. But Michael and Isabel wanted to leave.
He was torn for a moment and then took Isabel’s hand, leaving the chamber.
He’d left Tess here alone. They all had.
“How did you get out?” he asked.
“Ed came and got me,” she said. “He removed me from my pod.”
“Ed?” he asked, confused.
“Our protector, my father...whatever you want to call him. He goes by the name Ed Harding.”
“Why didn’t he come for us too?” he asked. “Why didn’t he try to find us?”
“It wasn’t safe,” she said. “He had found reports of the two children and then a third in the desert, but he couldn’t be sure it was you. It was too dangerous to approach you, and I was...weak. There was something wrong with my pod. He checked on all of you and you seemed to be in no immediate danger, and so he took me away from here. His first priority was to make sure that we all lived, and there was a good chance I wasn’t going to. Without the four, we are nothing.”
“I don’t understand,” he said.
“I know you don’t. You don’t remember most of it. But you did remember something, didn’t you? When you kissed me,” she prompted.
“I don’t’ know....yes,” he said, hesitating.
“You remember me because we were married in another lifetime. We were all murdered. Our planet, Antar, was enslaved and our enemy, Khivar, had us executed. Our essences were combined with human DNA and we were sent here for safety, so that we can eventually go back to save our people,” she said.
He stepped back, not wanting to accept the enormity of what she’d just said.
She stepped closer to him.
“You know it’s true Max. Think about it,” she said. “Really think about it.”
There was something that rang vaguely true in what she was saying, and he remembered emerging from the pods.
“You and I...we were meant to be together. It’s why we were both reborn. You were a King, Max, and I was your wife. Isabel and Michael were betrothed too. He was your second in command,” she said.
“I don’t believe you,” he said, shaking his head, in the back of his mind wondering if he really didn’t, or just didn’t want to believe it.
“Isabel and Michael know it too. They’ve been having dreams of each other, of having loved each other. Of the children they will one day have,” she said.
“No,” he said, shaking his head in disbelief, feeling betrayed. “They would have told me.”
“They’re just as freaked out by this as you are Max. It’s a lot to accept, but you’ll see...it’s our destiny,” she said.
She walked over to her pod and pulled out a flat object.
“Look,” she said, holding it out to him. “It was sent with us, to guide us.”
Max took the book, made of a metallic material he’d never seen before.
He opened it, and his eyes roamed over symbols he couldn’t understand. But they looked familiar, too familiar for him to believe that it couldn’t be true.
In it were pictures, etchings of the four of them, their faces, and Isabel and Tess pregnant.
“It’s the four square Max,” she said. “It’s meant to be.”
He balked at it, staring at her. This book told him that his life was laid out, pre-destined, that he had loved this girl in another life, a girl that now meant nothing to him, and in fact, made him uneasy.
“I know it’s a lot to take in. But Ed will explain everything. Bring Michael and Isabel tomorrow after school. He’ll answer all your questions. Please...” she said.
He nodded without a word, trying to assimilate everything she’d just told him. Michael and Isabel would have told him...wouldn’t they?
******
“Why didn’t you tell me about the dreams?” Max asked the next day as they were heading over to Tess’ house.
“We wanted to Max,” Isabel said, tears filling her eyes. “It was...it’s just too weird. I was afraid and Michael was freaked out. I mean, we’ve never thought of each other as anything but brother and sister.”
“I wanted to forget about it,” Michael muttered. “I don’t want to think about it even now.”
“You should have told me,” Max muttered, looking over at his sister. But his demeanor softened when he saw the stricken look on her face.
“No one says you have to follow what that book says,” Max said, thinking of his own future. The very idea of being pushed into something with Tess terrified him. He knew he could never feel that way about her, and the thought of spending the rest of his life with her made him want to run and never look back.
“I know,” Michael said. “It would be too weird.”
“Way too weird,” Isabel shuddered.
“What do you think they’re going to tell us?” Michael said.
“I’m freaked out already just thinking that I was something else on another planet and I’m lord-knows-what now,” Isabel said, sitting back.
“I still don’t trust Tess,” Max said.
“It could be our way home Maxwell. Isn’t that what we’ve always wanted?” Michael asked.
But was it? Maybe for them.
Max remained quiet, because he wasn’t sure if it was what he wanted. Maybe when he was younger, but now he wasn’t so sure, especially with this new revelation added into the mix. Of course he wanted to know what he was, but as much as he had longed to go home at times, he’d never really believed it would ever happen. Now that the possibility was there, he wanted nothing more than to remain here.
**********
Ed Harding was a cold man. He wasn’t even a man, but a shapeshifter, a living embodiment of what they once were, their true form.
But now he had taken the form of a balding middle-aged man. To most, he would not have seemed a threat at all, a bit on the paunchy side, with a receding chin. The effect was intentional, to give him an advantage.
But Max immediately saw the coldness in his eyes. He had a purpose, a mission, and he would follow it through with cold precision.
There was no preamble when they arrived at the house. Tess opened the door to let them in and Ed stood waiting in the living room.
Ed directed them to sit down, and started to talk.
As he sat listening to Ed, Max's fear grew.
"I don't have time for pleasantries," Ed said, "so let's just get to the point."
“You,” he said, pointing at Max, “you were Zan, King of Antar. Ava was your wife,” he said, looking at Tess.
“Beside you is Rath, your second in command and husband to your sister, Vilandra,” he added, looking at Isabel.
“Vilandra,” she whispered, and he nodded.
“You’ve been very careless,” he said, glancing at Michael. “It was you that drew us back to Roswell. When you killed your caretaker and destroyed the evidence, the by-product of your method of disposal was a compound called Cadmium X.”
“What the hell is that?” Michael asked.
“A metal that’s never been found on Earth, the result of using your energy to incinerate the body,” Ed said, folding his arms over his chest.
Michael crossed his arms over his chest with a scowl.
“Yeah well, maybe if you’d been around that might never have happened,” he said, glaring at him. “You left us out here alone to fend for ourselves.”
“I didn’t have a choice!” Ed said in a hard voice. “I had to protect Ava. You three were fine. It was she that needed my attention."
He turned to Max, giving him an appraising glance.
“You were meant to mate with Ava before you left the planet, as insurance, and without her power added to yours, you are nothing against your enemy,” he said.
Max looked away. Confirmation that he was supposed to be with Tess was not exactly what he wanted to hear. He could feel her eyes on him, but he studiously avoided looking at her.
“You were sent here to guard the Granolith,” Ed said.
Isabel glanced at Michael and then Max in confusion.
“What is that?” Isabel asked.
“A very powerful icon from our galaxy,” Ed answered, his voice devoid of emotion. “We can only return if we have it.”
“So if we're supposed to protect it, how come we've never seen it or heard anything about it? Where is it?” Michael asked, with a frown.
“We don’t know. It disappeared in the crash,” he said. “All we know is that Khivar doesn’t have it. There were two species on our planet, our own kind, the shape-shifters, and another species, humanoid in nature. Khivar is a humanoid, and he has control of Antar at the moment. But it is tenuous. He needs the Granolith. His kind and the shapeshifters at one time had joint rule over Antar. Khivar rose to power after the death of his father. Khivar wanted to rule Antar alone, being the sole power among the five planets in our galaxy. For that, he needed the Granolith, an icon that holds immense power. But it was under the protection of the Shapeshifter King. Khivar had staged a coup, but your family learned of it days before. The royal family was imprisoned, your mother and father tortured," he said without emotion.
Isabel's eyes filled with tears as her eyes met Max's.
"You were executed when they did not give up control of the Granolith. Through a small network of loyalists, the King and Queen developed a desperate plan, a slim chance that their children would one day come back to Antar to rule and free their people. That network was destroyed soon after by the Skins, their leaders executed," Ed continued.
"Are our parents still alive?" Isabel asked.
Ed shook his head.
"They were killed along with the rebel leaders," he said.
Isabel lowered her head to reign in her emotions at this latest revelation, and Max felt a lump form in his throat. What exactly did they have to go back to on Antar if their family was dead?
"They're dead, but they accomplished what they needed to before they were killed. Your essences were combined with that of human beings, and sent off to Earth with the Granolith. No one counted on the crash, or the disappearance of the Granolith,” Ed said. "But for now, that's neither here nor there."
"Right now, the Granolith is the least of our problems,” he said derisively. “I’m sure you’re aware of the new guidance counselor named Kathleen Topolsky.”
Max nodded slowly. She'd just arrived at the school recently.
“She is an FBI agent,” he said.
“What?” Michael yelled.
“She’s an elite agent, a member of the FBI's Special Unit, whose sole purpose was to hunt you down,” Ed said. “They were tipped off by your little stunt with your foster father.”
"That can't be," Isabel said.
"How do you think we knew where to find you? How do you think I knew of the existence of Cadmium X here in Roswell? If you don’t believe me, check it out for yourself,” Ed shrugged. “She has to be disposed of.”
“I’ll do it. I'll check her out,” Max said immediately, looking at Michael. It would have to be him. Michael was too impulsive, and they were watching him. Letting him look into it would only be asking for trouble.
*****
The following day, Max and Tess had hidden in the eraser room, looking down through the vent at the office Topolsky occupied.
It had been uncomfortably quiet as they waited for her to make an appearance in her office.
The truth was, Max didn't want to talk to her. He wanted to pretend she didn't exist. What Ed had revealed to him had been weighing heavily on his mind. He just couldn't accept that they had been engineered to mate and then return to a planet they'd never seen and didn't remember. He balked against the idea that his life had been pre-ordained, and more than once he had wished that Michael had just emancipated himself before things had gone too far with Hank.
If he had, he wouldn't be sitting here in a closet, wondering if he was going to be hunted down by the government.
Tess' voice interrupted his thoughts.
“Do you believe me now Max?” she whispered.
She was close enough that he could smell her perfume. The smell grated on him. It was flowery, slightly musky and too mature of a scent for a girl her age. It was nothing like the sweet, light smell that he looked forward to when sitting next to Liz in class.
“I don’t know what to believe,” he said, leaning against the wall and avoiding her eyes, not wanting to get into this conversation.
“You have a whole planet depending on you Max. You’d better start believing it. Your people are counting on you,” she said.
He looked at her and again felt a cold rush of dislike for the girl. She had the power to force him to react in ways that he didn’t want. He had experienced it the other night. But it was best to play along with her for now, until he could figure out the strengths and limitations of her powers.
His attention was redirected to the vent when he heard a voice and a door open.
He watched the blond guidance counselor walk into her office, shutting the door.
She put her laptop on the desk and plugged it into the jack. The computer fired up, and she typed a few keystrokes and his worst fear came true when he saw the FBI insignia emblazoned on the screen.
They remained silent, the lump in Max’s throat tightening has he watched her type a report about Michael’s daily school activities, and even his trip over to Tess’ house with him and Isabel the afternoon before.
This was much worse than he had ever dreamed.
*******
Ed had insisted that they leave straight away. Michael would have willingly gone with them, but Isabel didn't want to leave their parents.
Max knew that from what he and Tess had seen, that the FBI only had suspicions about Michael, but no proof. The key was to find a way to throw them off.
Ed argued with him.
“She’s a threat!” Ed grated. “We can get rid of her with a normal accident, and this will all be over. Then we can leave, go to he East Coast.”
“I’m not killing anyone!” Max answered angrily, standing up from the table. “When and if the time comes, we’ll leave Roswell, but I am not going to be party to killing anyone, even my enemies, unless I’m left with no choice.”
“You’re supposed to be a leader,” Ed said derisively. “Start making some tough decisions. Your lives depend on it.”
“I just made one!” Max fired back.
"Very well," Ed said tightly.
Max knew that Ed didn't agree with his decision, but he went along with it. He started to suspect that Ed didn't have a choice.
Maybe it was his destiny, but he couldn’t bring himself to leave, not yet. There had been many arguments over the past few days. Michael appeared to embrace their return to Antar. Isabel had mixed feelings leaving the only parents they could remember. Ed had disagreed hotly about all of it, but Max noticed that the moment he worded his responses as a command, Ed acquiesced. They were all looking to Max for a decision, and Max chose to let things lie.
For the moment, Isabel sided with him. Michael was outnumbered. They remained in Roswell and left Topolsky alone.
Fall – 2000
For most of the summer, they had lain low. Ed and Tess taught them to harness their abilities, to control them. Michael seemed to have the least discipline, and this infuriated Ed, often muttering about the irony of a being that couldn't control his emotions having the responsibility of protecting the King.
Then in September, Ed just suddenly disappeared. One day he was there, and the next he was gone.
It had shaken them all, Michael more than anyone, but Tess seemed unconcerned. She’d assured them that she'd known him to disappear regularly.
Max was beginning to believe something had happened to him, but then Ed telephoned Michael and explained that he was in Washington D.C. monitoring the FBI, and would be there for some time to come. He would contact them if there were anything they needed to know.
They were to lay low. They should only worry if he contacted them.
The lease on their house was paid for two years, so there was no issue as to where Tess would reside.
Max started to work at the UFO Center. He’d been in a few times over the years while the previous owner Milton had run it. But his curiosity had been aroused when it was suddenly under new ownership.
Brody Davis bought Milton out. Brody believed that he had been abducted by aliens more than once, and he made it his life's work to keep up with all things extraterrestrial under the guise of running the museum.
Max saw all of the high-tech equipment being brought in and decided to investigate. Brody was a suspicious man by nature, but Max led him to believe that he had been abducted as well, and Brody took him under his wing. He gave him full access to all of his databases and information, which turned out to be quite extensive, as he had the financial backing to build it.
On a cold day in November, Max had been at work, when he'd heard a muffled shout coming from Brody's office. Max had rushed in, to find Brody standing with a strange look on his face, asking him to mind the museum while he went away for a few days. Max knew something was strange about him, but he dared not ask. Plus it would give him unrestricted access to Brody's equipment and files.
Two days later, a disturbance in New York was reported on Brody's computer. It was vague, but something had gone down in lower Manhattan. A powerful energy surge was detected, but that was all the information that had been offered.
Brody was back again a few days later, acting as he normally did.
********
Spring 2002
Senior year was almost over. Though Topolsky kept a sharp eye on Michael, they maintained a low profile.
Michael did everything he could to remain off her radar. More than once, he had been called into her office, her seemingly innocuous questions taking on a more sinister meaning now that he knew what she was.
Max and Isabel had also been called in, and Topolsky had prodded them about Michael. She'd asked questions about his living habits under the guise of concern, but they knew better and were ready with carefully prepared answers.
During that time, Tess continued to push him about his planet and his destiny, and his responsibility to his planet. It seemed suddenly she was everywhere, waiting for him outside his classes, planted at their table during lunch, visiting Isabel and somehow finding excuses to make her way to his room. He felt like he was suffocating, and his patience was growing short. He was tired of rebuffing her advances.
Finally, graduation arrived, the end of a significant part of his life. After the summer, he would no longer be able to sit in the Crashdown to watch Liz as he pleased. She was the valedictorian of his class and would be going off to Harvard; she deserved it more than anyone else he could think of.
Sitting in the auditorium with Tess's arm linked through his, he couldn't take his eyes off her. She looked so radiant, so full of life, and he thought to himself that if he could just suspend his miserable life at any given moment, it would have been right then. She had the world at her fingertips, ready to begin a new adventure. She would realize her dreams. She would be someone great.
An insistent hand jerked his arm, and he turned toward Tess. She smiled at him, and he returned one that never quite reached his eyes.
"It's a new beginning for you and me," she'd whispered, but he'd barely heard her, trying to soak in the image of Liz at the podium, committing it to a memory he would have for the rest of his life.
The lights above shone on her hair falling from beneath her cap, making it seem as if it were spun chocolate silk. She looked almost ethereal, with her pink tinged cheeks and eyes shining with the emotion of this new change in her life. Her speech was eloquent and heartfelt, speaking of life-long friends. But when she finished her speech, her final words made his heart swell.
"...and as we embark on our new journey, we should never forget the faces that we've seen every day for most of our young adult life. Take a moment to say the things to them that you never got around to saying. Who knows where we'll be ten years from now, or where our paths will lead us? Take a moment to think about how those around you have affected your life, even in the smallest of ways. Good luck, best wishes and congratulations everyone," she finished with a smile.
The crowd broke into applause and Max clapped just as enthusiastically as the rest of his classmates, blinking back tears for the part of his life that was coming to a close. It was time to become an adult, whatever that meant. He was quite sure that the definition would be different for Michael, Isabel and himself than for any other member of his class.
He turned and saw Tess glaring at him, but he didn't care. He was proud of Liz, and in this one moment, he could be part of something with the rest of his classmates in cheering her on. For those few minutes, he had stepped from behind the wall he’d hidden behind for most of his life.
He ignored Tess' disapproval, and when the others stood, he rose along with him. But the best was about to come.
For her eyes met his, and she smiled at him. For a second, he wasn't sure she was looking at him, but then she mouthed "Congratulations, Max," and his heart soared.
He barely heard the names as the Principal started reading them off of the list. His classmates were going up to receive their diplomas, but all he could think about the moment that had now passed. She saw him, didn't she?
When it was his turn to walk up to receive his diploma, he heard the proud calls of his parents, and he turned to smile at them. His eyes scanned the crowd, coming to rest on Liz. She was smiling and clapping for him, and a shy smile crossed his lips.
Soon enough the ceremony was over, and everyone got up to find their families. For a few moments, it seemed as if a sea of people were milling around him. Tess still had a firm hold on his arm.
Isabel appeared out of the crowd and gave him a proud hug.
"Congratulations, Iz," he whispered.
"You too," she answered, Michael slapped him on the back. He and Isabel had decided that they couldn't be together in "that way", regardless of what the book said. They had thought of each other almost as siblings for so long, it would have been just too weird.
He wished it were that easy to get rid of Tess.
"We did it, man. I don't know how, but we did it," Michael said in a gruff voice.
"Yeah," he answered in a soft voice, feeling the bond between the three of them more strongly than he had in a long time.
Michael had been angry with him for opting to stay in Roswell instead of seeking their destiny and a way home. The key to it all, according to Tess and Ed, was something called the Granolith. It had become lost in the crash, hidden by another protector that had disappeared after the crash in 1947. They could not return without it and the power it wielded.
It was the sole reason they still had a chance to take back the throne that Khivar has so viciously ripped from their family.
But there were no clues to its whereabouts, and trying to find it without something to go on would be like trying to find a needle in a haystack.
He glanced around and saw Topolsky watching Michael from a darkened corner of the room.
They were being watched, and the moment they were to leave Roswell, the FBI would not be far behind. He was sure that they had all made the right decision in staying in Roswell, for the time being at least. Michael and Isabel wouldn't have gone without him, so it was only him that kept Michael here.
He pushed the dark thoughts out of his head for the moment, wanting to savor the day and the unexpected surprises it had brought.
"Max, we should find your parents," Tess said, at his side. For a fleeting moment, he wondered at Ed's absence, or if it bothered Tess, but immediately dismissed it. It was perfectly clear that neither Tess nor Ed were concerned with human activities, other than for appearances.
On impulse, he looked at Isabel, meeting her eyes.
"Can you tell them I'll be along in a minute? There's something I need to do," he said. Without a word, she knew what he had in mind, and he prayed he wouldn't get resistance, just this once.
But she just sighed and nodded.
"Go ahead. Tess and I will find Mom and Dad. We'll meet you out front," she said.
A smile broke over his face and he gave her another quick hug.
"I won't be long, I promise," he whispered, and she nodded.
He took off into the crowd before Tess could say anything.
He was confused for a moment, trying to get his bearings, frantically searching the crowd for one special face.
A moment later, he spotted her, standing off to the side of the stage with Maria and Alex.
Maria was talking with rapid hand gestures and a smile, and then threw her arms around Liz and Alex, jumping up and down.
As he approached, he could hear her excited chatter.
"I'm so proud of you Liz," she said.
"My best friend, valedictorian, up in front of all those people...not that I had any doubt your speech would be perfect," she added.
"Thanks Maria," Liz said, blushing a bit.
He stopped, just watching her. She hadn’t seen him.
"But spill, that last part wasn't in the speech you rehearsed with me last night. That wouldn't have been directed toward one particularly handsome specimen, would it?" Maria asked in a teasing tone.
"Maria," Liz chided her face turning red. At that exact moment, she spotted him standing close by, and her eyes met his.
It seemed like an eternity and yet only a few seconds, but he felt a sense of peace steal over his body, of the kind he had never known.
Maria saw her friend looking behind her, and turned.
"Well hey, Max," Maria said, with a smile, looking back at Liz. Alex studied him with interest.
He felt his ears burning under the scrutiny.
He cleared his throat.
"Um...hey Maria, Alex," he said, nodding at them before giving Liz an uncertain smile.
"Hi Liz," he said softly, and she smiled at him.
"Glad to be done?" Maria said, with a raised brow, and he turned his attention back to her.
"Uh, yeah...I guess so," he answered, his eyes drawn automatically back to Liz.
He felt his heart pounding in his chest, and he shifted his feet, uncertain now what to say.
"Well, Alex and I have to find my mom," Maria said, pulling on Alex's arm.
"Oh...yeah, she has a conniption in crowds like this," Alex said.
"So congratulations Max," Maria said, "maybe we'll see you over at the Crashdown this summer."
He gave them a nervous smile and a nod.
"We'll see you later Liz," Maria said in a pointed tone, and dragged Alex away, as he turned more than once to look back at his friend.
He watched them disappear into the crowd, and then turned back toward Liz.
She stood before him, seeming nervous as she tucked her hair behind her ear.
"I...I just wanted to say congratulations," he blurted, "and that your speech was really great."
"Thanks Max," she said blushing slightly.
She looked down at the ground in embarrassment, and he thought to himself that she had never seemed more endearing than she had in that moment.
There was another uncomfortable silence, and Max was starting to think he'd made a mistake. But there was no going back now.
"So, I hear you’re going to Harvard," he said, uncomfortable.
She nodded.
"I leave in two days," she said.
"Two days?" he said, shocked, his heart feeling suddenly frozen. "But I thought at least you'd have the summer..."
"Yeah, well, I had this opportunity to get some extra credits before starting, so Mom and Dad convinced me to go for it," she said, biting her lip.
"Oh..." he trailed off. He’d thought he’d at least have part of the summer to try to soak in her beauty, and how he felt as if his heart had been ripped out of his chest.
"What about you?" she asked. "I never got the chance to ask you."
What could he have said? My alien status prevents me from doing anything but hiding, so I'll be sticking around Roswell?
"I...I'm going to be here for the summer. I got a job at the UFO Museum and my Dad wants me to attend community college at some point, but I don't know yet," he said in a lame voice.
"Oh," Liz said, nodding.
In her eyes he could see the confusion she wasn’t voicing. His grades were not as high as hers, but they were close, and were certainly good enough to get him into a reputable school. He decided to let it drop rather than explain it.
Well," she faltered, fidgeting, a pink tinge to her cheeks.
"Best of luck to you Max," she said, looking at him expectantly.
For a moment he blanked out, so entranced, still not believing that he was standing there with her.
She started to back away. He didn’t want the moment to end, but couldn’t form words to keep her standing with him.
"Liz," he said on impulse, and she stopped.
"That last part...what you said about the faces you see everyday and the way they’ve affected your life? I just wanted to say thank you to you for being my lab partner. It made the class bearable," he said, feeling the heat rise to his own cheeks.
She grinned at him.
"Yeah for me too," she said in a soft voice.
It seemed as if she wanted to say something else, and then closed her mouth.
They smiled shyly at each other for a moment, and then she seemed to make up her mind about something.
"Max, I-"
"Hey Babe! Great job," Kyle said, throwing his arm around her and planting a kiss on her cheek.
"Thanks, Kyle," she said softly, lowering her eyes.
Whatever she'd been about to say, the moment was now gone.
"Hey Max," Kyle said jovially. "Glad to be out of this hell-on-earth?"
"Um, yeah," he said, stepping back.
He'd been a fool.
"Well, good luck at Harvard, Liz," he said with his eyes trained to the floor.
"You too Kyle, congratulations on graduating," he added as an afterthought. "I'll see you around."
He turned and only made it a few steps before he felt a soft hand on his arm.
He turned around, and she was there, looking up at him.
Before he had a chance to react, she had her arms around him, giving him a tight squeeze, lifting her head to press her soft lips against his cheek. His arms closed around her without a thought.
She leaned up toward his ear and whispered, "Best of luck to you too Max. I'll miss you."
And just as quickly she was gone, walking off with Kyle, and he was left standing alone.
****
The others had been waiting for him outside with his parents, and he went through the motions of smiling and accepting their congratulations, but his mind was elsewhere, caught in the moment with Liz back in the auditorium.
It was the last time he spoke to her. It was the last time he would see her for two years.
Spies - Coldplay
I awake to find no peace of mind,
I said, how do you live as a fugitive?
Down here where I cannot see so clear.
I said, what do I know?
Show me the right way to go,
And the spies came out of the water,
But you're feeling so bad cos you know,
And the spies hide out in every corner,
But you can't touch them no,
Cos they're all spies, they're all spies.
I awake to see that no one is free,
We're all fugitives,
Look at the way we live.
Down here, I cannot sleep from fear no.
I said, which way do I turn?
I forget everything I learn,
But the spies came out of the water,
But you're feeling so bad cos you know,
and the spies hide out in every corner,
But you can't touch them though,
Cos they're all spies, they're all spies.
And if we don't hide here,
They're going to find us,
If we don't hide now,
They're going to catch us where we sleep,
And if we don't hide here,
They're going to find us.
Part Fifteen
Spring – 2000
*~Max~*
The rain let up as they drove out of Roswell.
Soon she directed him to turn off the road, and ahead he saw a rock formation. It was familiar, too familiar. He remembered it now, moving away from it with Isabel and Michael, naked and afraid of this strange new world he’d been thrown into.
They stopped at the bottom, and she got out without waiting for him. He followed her up the outcropping until she stopped and waved her hand over the face of the rock, revealing a glowing print. She pressed her hand against it, and an entrance appeared.
She stepped in right away, but he hesitated, feeling as if his whole world was about to change, and it scared the hell out of him.
“Are you coming?” she asked from the darkness.
He stepped in.
A soft green glow emanated from one side of the chamber, and as he looked at it, memories he’d long forgotten flooded his head.
This was his birthplace. He’d come out of a one of those pods. Isabel and Michael were already out, beckoning to him. He turned to look at the pods again, and saw that one remained unbroken. He paused, not sure what to do. He didn’t want to leave her here. But Michael and Isabel wanted to leave.
He was torn for a moment and then took Isabel’s hand, leaving the chamber.
He’d left Tess here alone. They all had.
“How did you get out?” he asked.
“Ed came and got me,” she said. “He removed me from my pod.”
“Ed?” he asked, confused.
“Our protector, my father...whatever you want to call him. He goes by the name Ed Harding.”
“Why didn’t he come for us too?” he asked. “Why didn’t he try to find us?”
“It wasn’t safe,” she said. “He had found reports of the two children and then a third in the desert, but he couldn’t be sure it was you. It was too dangerous to approach you, and I was...weak. There was something wrong with my pod. He checked on all of you and you seemed to be in no immediate danger, and so he took me away from here. His first priority was to make sure that we all lived, and there was a good chance I wasn’t going to. Without the four, we are nothing.”
“I don’t understand,” he said.
“I know you don’t. You don’t remember most of it. But you did remember something, didn’t you? When you kissed me,” she prompted.
“I don’t’ know....yes,” he said, hesitating.
“You remember me because we were married in another lifetime. We were all murdered. Our planet, Antar, was enslaved and our enemy, Khivar, had us executed. Our essences were combined with human DNA and we were sent here for safety, so that we can eventually go back to save our people,” she said.
He stepped back, not wanting to accept the enormity of what she’d just said.
She stepped closer to him.
“You know it’s true Max. Think about it,” she said. “Really think about it.”
There was something that rang vaguely true in what she was saying, and he remembered emerging from the pods.
“You and I...we were meant to be together. It’s why we were both reborn. You were a King, Max, and I was your wife. Isabel and Michael were betrothed too. He was your second in command,” she said.
“I don’t believe you,” he said, shaking his head, in the back of his mind wondering if he really didn’t, or just didn’t want to believe it.
“Isabel and Michael know it too. They’ve been having dreams of each other, of having loved each other. Of the children they will one day have,” she said.
“No,” he said, shaking his head in disbelief, feeling betrayed. “They would have told me.”
“They’re just as freaked out by this as you are Max. It’s a lot to accept, but you’ll see...it’s our destiny,” she said.
She walked over to her pod and pulled out a flat object.
“Look,” she said, holding it out to him. “It was sent with us, to guide us.”
Max took the book, made of a metallic material he’d never seen before.
He opened it, and his eyes roamed over symbols he couldn’t understand. But they looked familiar, too familiar for him to believe that it couldn’t be true.
In it were pictures, etchings of the four of them, their faces, and Isabel and Tess pregnant.
“It’s the four square Max,” she said. “It’s meant to be.”
He balked at it, staring at her. This book told him that his life was laid out, pre-destined, that he had loved this girl in another life, a girl that now meant nothing to him, and in fact, made him uneasy.
“I know it’s a lot to take in. But Ed will explain everything. Bring Michael and Isabel tomorrow after school. He’ll answer all your questions. Please...” she said.
He nodded without a word, trying to assimilate everything she’d just told him. Michael and Isabel would have told him...wouldn’t they?
******
“Why didn’t you tell me about the dreams?” Max asked the next day as they were heading over to Tess’ house.
“We wanted to Max,” Isabel said, tears filling her eyes. “It was...it’s just too weird. I was afraid and Michael was freaked out. I mean, we’ve never thought of each other as anything but brother and sister.”
“I wanted to forget about it,” Michael muttered. “I don’t want to think about it even now.”
“You should have told me,” Max muttered, looking over at his sister. But his demeanor softened when he saw the stricken look on her face.
“No one says you have to follow what that book says,” Max said, thinking of his own future. The very idea of being pushed into something with Tess terrified him. He knew he could never feel that way about her, and the thought of spending the rest of his life with her made him want to run and never look back.
“I know,” Michael said. “It would be too weird.”
“Way too weird,” Isabel shuddered.
“What do you think they’re going to tell us?” Michael said.
“I’m freaked out already just thinking that I was something else on another planet and I’m lord-knows-what now,” Isabel said, sitting back.
“I still don’t trust Tess,” Max said.
“It could be our way home Maxwell. Isn’t that what we’ve always wanted?” Michael asked.
But was it? Maybe for them.
Max remained quiet, because he wasn’t sure if it was what he wanted. Maybe when he was younger, but now he wasn’t so sure, especially with this new revelation added into the mix. Of course he wanted to know what he was, but as much as he had longed to go home at times, he’d never really believed it would ever happen. Now that the possibility was there, he wanted nothing more than to remain here.
**********
Ed Harding was a cold man. He wasn’t even a man, but a shapeshifter, a living embodiment of what they once were, their true form.
But now he had taken the form of a balding middle-aged man. To most, he would not have seemed a threat at all, a bit on the paunchy side, with a receding chin. The effect was intentional, to give him an advantage.
But Max immediately saw the coldness in his eyes. He had a purpose, a mission, and he would follow it through with cold precision.
There was no preamble when they arrived at the house. Tess opened the door to let them in and Ed stood waiting in the living room.
Ed directed them to sit down, and started to talk.
As he sat listening to Ed, Max's fear grew.
"I don't have time for pleasantries," Ed said, "so let's just get to the point."
“You,” he said, pointing at Max, “you were Zan, King of Antar. Ava was your wife,” he said, looking at Tess.
“Beside you is Rath, your second in command and husband to your sister, Vilandra,” he added, looking at Isabel.
“Vilandra,” she whispered, and he nodded.
“You’ve been very careless,” he said, glancing at Michael. “It was you that drew us back to Roswell. When you killed your caretaker and destroyed the evidence, the by-product of your method of disposal was a compound called Cadmium X.”
“What the hell is that?” Michael asked.
“A metal that’s never been found on Earth, the result of using your energy to incinerate the body,” Ed said, folding his arms over his chest.
Michael crossed his arms over his chest with a scowl.
“Yeah well, maybe if you’d been around that might never have happened,” he said, glaring at him. “You left us out here alone to fend for ourselves.”
“I didn’t have a choice!” Ed said in a hard voice. “I had to protect Ava. You three were fine. It was she that needed my attention."
He turned to Max, giving him an appraising glance.
“You were meant to mate with Ava before you left the planet, as insurance, and without her power added to yours, you are nothing against your enemy,” he said.
Max looked away. Confirmation that he was supposed to be with Tess was not exactly what he wanted to hear. He could feel her eyes on him, but he studiously avoided looking at her.
“You were sent here to guard the Granolith,” Ed said.
Isabel glanced at Michael and then Max in confusion.
“What is that?” Isabel asked.
“A very powerful icon from our galaxy,” Ed answered, his voice devoid of emotion. “We can only return if we have it.”
“So if we're supposed to protect it, how come we've never seen it or heard anything about it? Where is it?” Michael asked, with a frown.
“We don’t know. It disappeared in the crash,” he said. “All we know is that Khivar doesn’t have it. There were two species on our planet, our own kind, the shape-shifters, and another species, humanoid in nature. Khivar is a humanoid, and he has control of Antar at the moment. But it is tenuous. He needs the Granolith. His kind and the shapeshifters at one time had joint rule over Antar. Khivar rose to power after the death of his father. Khivar wanted to rule Antar alone, being the sole power among the five planets in our galaxy. For that, he needed the Granolith, an icon that holds immense power. But it was under the protection of the Shapeshifter King. Khivar had staged a coup, but your family learned of it days before. The royal family was imprisoned, your mother and father tortured," he said without emotion.
Isabel's eyes filled with tears as her eyes met Max's.
"You were executed when they did not give up control of the Granolith. Through a small network of loyalists, the King and Queen developed a desperate plan, a slim chance that their children would one day come back to Antar to rule and free their people. That network was destroyed soon after by the Skins, their leaders executed," Ed continued.
"Are our parents still alive?" Isabel asked.
Ed shook his head.
"They were killed along with the rebel leaders," he said.
Isabel lowered her head to reign in her emotions at this latest revelation, and Max felt a lump form in his throat. What exactly did they have to go back to on Antar if their family was dead?
"They're dead, but they accomplished what they needed to before they were killed. Your essences were combined with that of human beings, and sent off to Earth with the Granolith. No one counted on the crash, or the disappearance of the Granolith,” Ed said. "But for now, that's neither here nor there."
"Right now, the Granolith is the least of our problems,” he said derisively. “I’m sure you’re aware of the new guidance counselor named Kathleen Topolsky.”
Max nodded slowly. She'd just arrived at the school recently.
“She is an FBI agent,” he said.
“What?” Michael yelled.
“She’s an elite agent, a member of the FBI's Special Unit, whose sole purpose was to hunt you down,” Ed said. “They were tipped off by your little stunt with your foster father.”
"That can't be," Isabel said.
"How do you think we knew where to find you? How do you think I knew of the existence of Cadmium X here in Roswell? If you don’t believe me, check it out for yourself,” Ed shrugged. “She has to be disposed of.”
“I’ll do it. I'll check her out,” Max said immediately, looking at Michael. It would have to be him. Michael was too impulsive, and they were watching him. Letting him look into it would only be asking for trouble.
*****
The following day, Max and Tess had hidden in the eraser room, looking down through the vent at the office Topolsky occupied.
It had been uncomfortably quiet as they waited for her to make an appearance in her office.
The truth was, Max didn't want to talk to her. He wanted to pretend she didn't exist. What Ed had revealed to him had been weighing heavily on his mind. He just couldn't accept that they had been engineered to mate and then return to a planet they'd never seen and didn't remember. He balked against the idea that his life had been pre-ordained, and more than once he had wished that Michael had just emancipated himself before things had gone too far with Hank.
If he had, he wouldn't be sitting here in a closet, wondering if he was going to be hunted down by the government.
Tess' voice interrupted his thoughts.
“Do you believe me now Max?” she whispered.
She was close enough that he could smell her perfume. The smell grated on him. It was flowery, slightly musky and too mature of a scent for a girl her age. It was nothing like the sweet, light smell that he looked forward to when sitting next to Liz in class.
“I don’t know what to believe,” he said, leaning against the wall and avoiding her eyes, not wanting to get into this conversation.
“You have a whole planet depending on you Max. You’d better start believing it. Your people are counting on you,” she said.
He looked at her and again felt a cold rush of dislike for the girl. She had the power to force him to react in ways that he didn’t want. He had experienced it the other night. But it was best to play along with her for now, until he could figure out the strengths and limitations of her powers.
His attention was redirected to the vent when he heard a voice and a door open.
He watched the blond guidance counselor walk into her office, shutting the door.
She put her laptop on the desk and plugged it into the jack. The computer fired up, and she typed a few keystrokes and his worst fear came true when he saw the FBI insignia emblazoned on the screen.
They remained silent, the lump in Max’s throat tightening has he watched her type a report about Michael’s daily school activities, and even his trip over to Tess’ house with him and Isabel the afternoon before.
This was much worse than he had ever dreamed.
*******
Ed had insisted that they leave straight away. Michael would have willingly gone with them, but Isabel didn't want to leave their parents.
Max knew that from what he and Tess had seen, that the FBI only had suspicions about Michael, but no proof. The key was to find a way to throw them off.
Ed argued with him.
“She’s a threat!” Ed grated. “We can get rid of her with a normal accident, and this will all be over. Then we can leave, go to he East Coast.”
“I’m not killing anyone!” Max answered angrily, standing up from the table. “When and if the time comes, we’ll leave Roswell, but I am not going to be party to killing anyone, even my enemies, unless I’m left with no choice.”
“You’re supposed to be a leader,” Ed said derisively. “Start making some tough decisions. Your lives depend on it.”
“I just made one!” Max fired back.
"Very well," Ed said tightly.
Max knew that Ed didn't agree with his decision, but he went along with it. He started to suspect that Ed didn't have a choice.
Maybe it was his destiny, but he couldn’t bring himself to leave, not yet. There had been many arguments over the past few days. Michael appeared to embrace their return to Antar. Isabel had mixed feelings leaving the only parents they could remember. Ed had disagreed hotly about all of it, but Max noticed that the moment he worded his responses as a command, Ed acquiesced. They were all looking to Max for a decision, and Max chose to let things lie.
For the moment, Isabel sided with him. Michael was outnumbered. They remained in Roswell and left Topolsky alone.
Fall – 2000
For most of the summer, they had lain low. Ed and Tess taught them to harness their abilities, to control them. Michael seemed to have the least discipline, and this infuriated Ed, often muttering about the irony of a being that couldn't control his emotions having the responsibility of protecting the King.
Then in September, Ed just suddenly disappeared. One day he was there, and the next he was gone.
It had shaken them all, Michael more than anyone, but Tess seemed unconcerned. She’d assured them that she'd known him to disappear regularly.
Max was beginning to believe something had happened to him, but then Ed telephoned Michael and explained that he was in Washington D.C. monitoring the FBI, and would be there for some time to come. He would contact them if there were anything they needed to know.
They were to lay low. They should only worry if he contacted them.
The lease on their house was paid for two years, so there was no issue as to where Tess would reside.
Max started to work at the UFO Center. He’d been in a few times over the years while the previous owner Milton had run it. But his curiosity had been aroused when it was suddenly under new ownership.
Brody Davis bought Milton out. Brody believed that he had been abducted by aliens more than once, and he made it his life's work to keep up with all things extraterrestrial under the guise of running the museum.
Max saw all of the high-tech equipment being brought in and decided to investigate. Brody was a suspicious man by nature, but Max led him to believe that he had been abducted as well, and Brody took him under his wing. He gave him full access to all of his databases and information, which turned out to be quite extensive, as he had the financial backing to build it.
On a cold day in November, Max had been at work, when he'd heard a muffled shout coming from Brody's office. Max had rushed in, to find Brody standing with a strange look on his face, asking him to mind the museum while he went away for a few days. Max knew something was strange about him, but he dared not ask. Plus it would give him unrestricted access to Brody's equipment and files.
Two days later, a disturbance in New York was reported on Brody's computer. It was vague, but something had gone down in lower Manhattan. A powerful energy surge was detected, but that was all the information that had been offered.
Brody was back again a few days later, acting as he normally did.
********
Spring 2002
Senior year was almost over. Though Topolsky kept a sharp eye on Michael, they maintained a low profile.
Michael did everything he could to remain off her radar. More than once, he had been called into her office, her seemingly innocuous questions taking on a more sinister meaning now that he knew what she was.
Max and Isabel had also been called in, and Topolsky had prodded them about Michael. She'd asked questions about his living habits under the guise of concern, but they knew better and were ready with carefully prepared answers.
During that time, Tess continued to push him about his planet and his destiny, and his responsibility to his planet. It seemed suddenly she was everywhere, waiting for him outside his classes, planted at their table during lunch, visiting Isabel and somehow finding excuses to make her way to his room. He felt like he was suffocating, and his patience was growing short. He was tired of rebuffing her advances.
Finally, graduation arrived, the end of a significant part of his life. After the summer, he would no longer be able to sit in the Crashdown to watch Liz as he pleased. She was the valedictorian of his class and would be going off to Harvard; she deserved it more than anyone else he could think of.
Sitting in the auditorium with Tess's arm linked through his, he couldn't take his eyes off her. She looked so radiant, so full of life, and he thought to himself that if he could just suspend his miserable life at any given moment, it would have been right then. She had the world at her fingertips, ready to begin a new adventure. She would realize her dreams. She would be someone great.
An insistent hand jerked his arm, and he turned toward Tess. She smiled at him, and he returned one that never quite reached his eyes.
"It's a new beginning for you and me," she'd whispered, but he'd barely heard her, trying to soak in the image of Liz at the podium, committing it to a memory he would have for the rest of his life.
The lights above shone on her hair falling from beneath her cap, making it seem as if it were spun chocolate silk. She looked almost ethereal, with her pink tinged cheeks and eyes shining with the emotion of this new change in her life. Her speech was eloquent and heartfelt, speaking of life-long friends. But when she finished her speech, her final words made his heart swell.
"...and as we embark on our new journey, we should never forget the faces that we've seen every day for most of our young adult life. Take a moment to say the things to them that you never got around to saying. Who knows where we'll be ten years from now, or where our paths will lead us? Take a moment to think about how those around you have affected your life, even in the smallest of ways. Good luck, best wishes and congratulations everyone," she finished with a smile.
The crowd broke into applause and Max clapped just as enthusiastically as the rest of his classmates, blinking back tears for the part of his life that was coming to a close. It was time to become an adult, whatever that meant. He was quite sure that the definition would be different for Michael, Isabel and himself than for any other member of his class.
He turned and saw Tess glaring at him, but he didn't care. He was proud of Liz, and in this one moment, he could be part of something with the rest of his classmates in cheering her on. For those few minutes, he had stepped from behind the wall he’d hidden behind for most of his life.
He ignored Tess' disapproval, and when the others stood, he rose along with him. But the best was about to come.
For her eyes met his, and she smiled at him. For a second, he wasn't sure she was looking at him, but then she mouthed "Congratulations, Max," and his heart soared.
He barely heard the names as the Principal started reading them off of the list. His classmates were going up to receive their diplomas, but all he could think about the moment that had now passed. She saw him, didn't she?
When it was his turn to walk up to receive his diploma, he heard the proud calls of his parents, and he turned to smile at them. His eyes scanned the crowd, coming to rest on Liz. She was smiling and clapping for him, and a shy smile crossed his lips.
Soon enough the ceremony was over, and everyone got up to find their families. For a few moments, it seemed as if a sea of people were milling around him. Tess still had a firm hold on his arm.
Isabel appeared out of the crowd and gave him a proud hug.
"Congratulations, Iz," he whispered.
"You too," she answered, Michael slapped him on the back. He and Isabel had decided that they couldn't be together in "that way", regardless of what the book said. They had thought of each other almost as siblings for so long, it would have been just too weird.
He wished it were that easy to get rid of Tess.
"We did it, man. I don't know how, but we did it," Michael said in a gruff voice.
"Yeah," he answered in a soft voice, feeling the bond between the three of them more strongly than he had in a long time.
Michael had been angry with him for opting to stay in Roswell instead of seeking their destiny and a way home. The key to it all, according to Tess and Ed, was something called the Granolith. It had become lost in the crash, hidden by another protector that had disappeared after the crash in 1947. They could not return without it and the power it wielded.
It was the sole reason they still had a chance to take back the throne that Khivar has so viciously ripped from their family.
But there were no clues to its whereabouts, and trying to find it without something to go on would be like trying to find a needle in a haystack.
He glanced around and saw Topolsky watching Michael from a darkened corner of the room.
They were being watched, and the moment they were to leave Roswell, the FBI would not be far behind. He was sure that they had all made the right decision in staying in Roswell, for the time being at least. Michael and Isabel wouldn't have gone without him, so it was only him that kept Michael here.
He pushed the dark thoughts out of his head for the moment, wanting to savor the day and the unexpected surprises it had brought.
"Max, we should find your parents," Tess said, at his side. For a fleeting moment, he wondered at Ed's absence, or if it bothered Tess, but immediately dismissed it. It was perfectly clear that neither Tess nor Ed were concerned with human activities, other than for appearances.
On impulse, he looked at Isabel, meeting her eyes.
"Can you tell them I'll be along in a minute? There's something I need to do," he said. Without a word, she knew what he had in mind, and he prayed he wouldn't get resistance, just this once.
But she just sighed and nodded.
"Go ahead. Tess and I will find Mom and Dad. We'll meet you out front," she said.
A smile broke over his face and he gave her another quick hug.
"I won't be long, I promise," he whispered, and she nodded.
He took off into the crowd before Tess could say anything.
He was confused for a moment, trying to get his bearings, frantically searching the crowd for one special face.
A moment later, he spotted her, standing off to the side of the stage with Maria and Alex.
Maria was talking with rapid hand gestures and a smile, and then threw her arms around Liz and Alex, jumping up and down.
As he approached, he could hear her excited chatter.
"I'm so proud of you Liz," she said.
"My best friend, valedictorian, up in front of all those people...not that I had any doubt your speech would be perfect," she added.
"Thanks Maria," Liz said, blushing a bit.
He stopped, just watching her. She hadn’t seen him.
"But spill, that last part wasn't in the speech you rehearsed with me last night. That wouldn't have been directed toward one particularly handsome specimen, would it?" Maria asked in a teasing tone.
"Maria," Liz chided her face turning red. At that exact moment, she spotted him standing close by, and her eyes met his.
It seemed like an eternity and yet only a few seconds, but he felt a sense of peace steal over his body, of the kind he had never known.
Maria saw her friend looking behind her, and turned.
"Well hey, Max," Maria said, with a smile, looking back at Liz. Alex studied him with interest.
He felt his ears burning under the scrutiny.
He cleared his throat.
"Um...hey Maria, Alex," he said, nodding at them before giving Liz an uncertain smile.
"Hi Liz," he said softly, and she smiled at him.
"Glad to be done?" Maria said, with a raised brow, and he turned his attention back to her.
"Uh, yeah...I guess so," he answered, his eyes drawn automatically back to Liz.
He felt his heart pounding in his chest, and he shifted his feet, uncertain now what to say.
"Well, Alex and I have to find my mom," Maria said, pulling on Alex's arm.
"Oh...yeah, she has a conniption in crowds like this," Alex said.
"So congratulations Max," Maria said, "maybe we'll see you over at the Crashdown this summer."
He gave them a nervous smile and a nod.
"We'll see you later Liz," Maria said in a pointed tone, and dragged Alex away, as he turned more than once to look back at his friend.
He watched them disappear into the crowd, and then turned back toward Liz.
She stood before him, seeming nervous as she tucked her hair behind her ear.
"I...I just wanted to say congratulations," he blurted, "and that your speech was really great."
"Thanks Max," she said blushing slightly.
She looked down at the ground in embarrassment, and he thought to himself that she had never seemed more endearing than she had in that moment.
There was another uncomfortable silence, and Max was starting to think he'd made a mistake. But there was no going back now.
"So, I hear you’re going to Harvard," he said, uncomfortable.
She nodded.
"I leave in two days," she said.
"Two days?" he said, shocked, his heart feeling suddenly frozen. "But I thought at least you'd have the summer..."
"Yeah, well, I had this opportunity to get some extra credits before starting, so Mom and Dad convinced me to go for it," she said, biting her lip.
"Oh..." he trailed off. He’d thought he’d at least have part of the summer to try to soak in her beauty, and how he felt as if his heart had been ripped out of his chest.
"What about you?" she asked. "I never got the chance to ask you."
What could he have said? My alien status prevents me from doing anything but hiding, so I'll be sticking around Roswell?
"I...I'm going to be here for the summer. I got a job at the UFO Museum and my Dad wants me to attend community college at some point, but I don't know yet," he said in a lame voice.
"Oh," Liz said, nodding.
In her eyes he could see the confusion she wasn’t voicing. His grades were not as high as hers, but they were close, and were certainly good enough to get him into a reputable school. He decided to let it drop rather than explain it.
Well," she faltered, fidgeting, a pink tinge to her cheeks.
"Best of luck to you Max," she said, looking at him expectantly.
For a moment he blanked out, so entranced, still not believing that he was standing there with her.
She started to back away. He didn’t want the moment to end, but couldn’t form words to keep her standing with him.
"Liz," he said on impulse, and she stopped.
"That last part...what you said about the faces you see everyday and the way they’ve affected your life? I just wanted to say thank you to you for being my lab partner. It made the class bearable," he said, feeling the heat rise to his own cheeks.
She grinned at him.
"Yeah for me too," she said in a soft voice.
It seemed as if she wanted to say something else, and then closed her mouth.
They smiled shyly at each other for a moment, and then she seemed to make up her mind about something.
"Max, I-"
"Hey Babe! Great job," Kyle said, throwing his arm around her and planting a kiss on her cheek.
"Thanks, Kyle," she said softly, lowering her eyes.
Whatever she'd been about to say, the moment was now gone.
"Hey Max," Kyle said jovially. "Glad to be out of this hell-on-earth?"
"Um, yeah," he said, stepping back.
He'd been a fool.
"Well, good luck at Harvard, Liz," he said with his eyes trained to the floor.
"You too Kyle, congratulations on graduating," he added as an afterthought. "I'll see you around."
He turned and only made it a few steps before he felt a soft hand on his arm.
He turned around, and she was there, looking up at him.
Before he had a chance to react, she had her arms around him, giving him a tight squeeze, lifting her head to press her soft lips against his cheek. His arms closed around her without a thought.
She leaned up toward his ear and whispered, "Best of luck to you too Max. I'll miss you."
And just as quickly she was gone, walking off with Kyle, and he was left standing alone.
****
The others had been waiting for him outside with his parents, and he went through the motions of smiling and accepting their congratulations, but his mind was elsewhere, caught in the moment with Liz back in the auditorium.
It was the last time he spoke to her. It was the last time he would see her for two years.
The Space Between - The Dave Matthews Band
You cannot quit me so quickly
There's no hope in you for me
No corner you could squeeze me
But I got all the time for you, love
The Space Between
The tears we cry
Is the laughter keeps us coming back for more
The Space Between
The wicked lies we tell
And hope to keep safe from the pain
But will I hold you again?
These fickle, fuddled words confuse me
Like 'Will it rain today?'
Waste the hours with talking, talking
These twisted games we're playing
We're strange allies
With warring hearts
What wild-eyed beast you be
The Space Between
The wicked lies we tell
And hope to keep safe from the pain
Will I hold you again?
Will I hold...
Look at us spinning out in
The madness of a roller coaster
You know you went off like a devil
In a church in the middle of a crowded room
All we can do, my love
Is hope we don't take this ship down
The Space Between
Where you're smiling high
Is where you'll find me if I get to go
The Space Between
The bullets in our firefight
Is where I'll be hiding, waiting for you
The rain that falls
Splash in your heart
Ran like sadness down the window into...
The Space Between
Our wicked lies
Is where we hope to keep safe from pain
Take my hand
'Cause we're walking out of here
Oh, right out of here
Love is all we need here
The Space Between
What's wrong and right
Is where you'll find me hiding, waiting for you
The Space Between
Your heart and mine
Is the space we'll fill with time
The Space Between...
Part Sixteen
Fall - 2004
*~Max~*
Max was feeling crushed under the weight of what he was. It was bad enough not knowing where they had come from or why there were here, but if he had the choice, he would have gladly gone back to that time and given up the knowledge that they had gained.
Now he had the answers they had always wanted. He knew where he was from, but he had also gained a former wife, another responsibility he did not want.
Tess had grown more insistent that they belonged together, and he had resigned himself to the fact that he would forever be stuck with her, because she was his kind. The book and everything that she and Ed had told him said that they needed to remain together, the four of them. He could live with that, but assuming his former role as Tess' lover and once-husband was where he drew the line. He accepted the fact that they were a unit, but he couldn't look at Tess the way she'd expected him too. His heart belonged to Liz. It always had, even if he could never be with her.
Max learned more about Tess' powers, and realized that she had initiated that pull that he had felt toward her when she'd first come to town. She said it was only to "awaken" him to his destiny, but he made sure he was clear that she wasn't to do it again, placating her by saying that if something developed between them then it should happen naturally. He knew there was no way on Earth it was ever going to happen, but it seemed to make Tess step back a bit.
No matter what Tess said or did, he remained at arm's length. Together, they were strong as a unit, but like Michael and Isabel, he'd had led a human life for the most part, developing human emotions and attachments.
Their contact with Ed was maintained through Tess, who gave them sporadic reports of the FBI's doings in Washington.
Max continued to work at the UFO Museum, searching for any hidden clue to the whereabouts of the Granolith. Yet with all of his equipment and resources, nothing had surfaced for over a year.
In that time, they maintained the appearance of normalcy.
Isabel went on to community college, and Max took classes as well. Michael had taken a job at an auto-body shop, painting cars. Max was working at the museum in between classes noting the information he learned about rumored aliens living on Earth, taking copious notes in a journal that he kept hidden. Most of the reports were fabrications, but there had been a few rumors, one in particular that was quite disturbing.
In Arizona, in a town called Copper Summit, there were reports of a colony of aliens, hunting for the Royal shape-shifters now rumored to be living on Earth. This information was passed along the abductees’ network that was discounted by most people as a bunch of loons on one of their rants. They spoke of manufactured skins and a great harvest that would restore their dying dermis, allowing them greater freedom to search for and destroy the Royal Four. Their efforts had been temporarily thwarted by a rogue Skin successful in destryong their first crop of husks. Now the town was entrenched in a frantic search to create new ones, while preserving the ones currently in use for as long as possible.
Though he kept close tabs on those reports, he never told Michael, Isabel, or Tess about it. There was nothing they could do about it, and he himself knew Michael well enough to know that he would react without thinking first, possibly putting them all in jeopardy.
Working across the street from the Crashdown reminded him of Liz often.
She hadn't come home for two summers, and when he casually asked her father how she was doing, he told him she was doubling up to finish early. That was just like Liz. He felt a small sense of satisfaction that she was out there, living her dreams, doing exactly what she wanted to do.
Tess had long since caught on to his infatuation with Liz, despite his suggestion that they take things slowly, to see what developed between them. He knew she'd known it the day of graduation, when he'd disappeared into the crowd. But she'd never mentioned it, and after Liz left for school that summer, she'd made it a point to be around him as much as possible, reminding him of what he was and of their responsibility to a world they had never seen in this lifetime.
He thought that keeping a polite distance from her would make her realize that he could never feel for her what she wanted him to feel. He thought she would back off. But she didn't seem to get the hint. He supposed she thought that with Liz gone, he would come around.
The truth was, Liz was out making her future and he was stuck in limbo in Roswell, and he knew it. But he couldn't bring himself to betray his heart. Just because he could never be with the human girl he dreamed of, it didn't mean that he had to settle for something that he knew in his heart would have made both he and Tess unhappy in the end.
It was the Thanksgiving holiday break, and the town was buzzing with holiday shopping. He never thought much about the holidays. It was a big deal, especially to his mother, but to him, it didn't mean much.
Isabel invited Tess to Thanksgiving dinner, much to his dismay. He had hoped for a bit of peace, a little bit of a break.
But instead he found himself seated next to Tess for dinner.
She pushed her chair uncomfortably close to his, and he felt his irritation rise.
He remained tense and unusually quiet through dinner, and it didn't go unnoticed by his mother.
After what seemed like an eternity, dinner was finished, he quickly offered to help his mother clean up. She seemed a little surprised, but didn't push it. When Tess also offered, his mother told Isabel to go and relax with her guest.
Tess was clearly disappointed, but couldn't do anything about it, and they went to Isabel's room.
His mother cast frequent glances at him while they washed the dishes. He felt her eyes boring into him, but ignored it, concentrating on drying and letting his thoughts wander.
Everything depended on them finding the Granolith, but he found himself hoping that they never did. Because if they found it, he would most likely be going to a planet he'd never seen, to play a king to a people he didn't remember. And Tess would of course be acknowledged as his queen. The very thought of it made him ill.
"Max honey," his mother said finally, and he glanced at her.
"Yeah Mom?" he said, distracted.
"What's going on with you lately?" she asked. "We haven't talked much."
He shrugged.
"Nothing really," he answered, putting a dish away. "The usual. Work, school."
She nodded.
"What about you and Tess?" she asked, trying to act casual.
He shrugged.
"I don't know," he said, offhandedly, feeling decidedly uncomfortable.
"She seems like a nice girl, and you two seem to spend a lot of time together. I was just wondering if you were dating or something," she said. "I've wanted to ask you about it for awhile, but you never said anything, and when Isabel asked to have her over tonight and you looked so uncomfortable, I just thought that maybe something had happened. I know that Isabel is friends with her, but..."
He shook his head.
"She's just a friend," he said, grabbing a glass and rubbing it with a dishtowel.
"Do you like her?" his mother asked, picking up another dirty dish.
He sighed and put the glass down, turning toward his mother.
"Mom, I really don't want to talk about this," he said.
"Ok, ok. It's just that...your sister dates, and I was just, I don't know. I was just wondering what's going on in your life," she said, turning the water off.
"It's complicated," he said, putting the glass away.
"Why?" she asked, leaning against the counter.
He put the towel down and chewed at his lower lip, wondering how to explain what he was feeling.
"Did you ever just...know when something wasn't right, Mom? It's not that I don't like Tess or anything. And....I know people just sort of assume that we're together, because we've been around each other so much since high school, and she doesn't really do anything to let anyone think otherwise," he said.
He sighed, and looked down.
"But I can't feel the way she wants me to feel about her," he continued.
"It would make things so much easier if I did, but I just can't. I don't really want to hurt her feelings, but I think it would be worse all around in the end if I ignored my heart," he said.
He glanced at his mother and saw tears shining in her eyes.
"What?" he asked, not sure why she was upset.
He was a bit taken aback when she reached over and put her hands on his cheeks, giving him a sound kiss on his temple.
"You follow your heart Max, and don't let anyone ever tell you differently," she said with a smile. "It will never steer you wrong."
He nodded slowly.
"Now why don't you get out of here before Tess and Isabel come back down for dessert? Go and see Michael. You can bring him a plate of leftovers, since he couldn't come," she said.
His mother had just given him a gift, a chance to get away from Tess, if only for just a little while.
"Thanks Mom," he said with a grateful smile.
She fixed a plate and wrapped it up for him and shooed him out of the kitchen.
He didn't wait around, but left immediately, grateful for the down time. He decided to walk to Michael's to clear his head.
He figured hanging out with Michael was preferable to being smothered by Tess all night. He hoped she would be gone when he went home. He planned to stay away as long as he could to make sure of it.
It didn't take him long to get to Michael's apartment, and he was greeted with a scowl when he opened the door. Michael left the door ajar, walking back into the apartment and flopping back on the couch in front of the television.
Max walked in and closed the door, putting the plate his mother had made up on the coffee table.
"My mom sent this over for you," he said.
Michael nodded and got up, pulling the foil off the plate, throwing it out and getting utensils and Tobasco before sitting down again.
"Tell her I said thanks," he said, as he picked up the plate and started to liberally shake the sauce over the food.
"Michael, she's been doing this for years. Why can’t you give in just once and come over for dinner?" he asked.
"I don't do family gatherings," Michael muttered with his mouth full.
"You could've come, just this once," Max pointed out, shaking his head.
Michael looked up at him in irritation.
"What the hell is this?" he asked. "Did you come over here to give me a guilt trip or something?"
"No," Max said quickly, sitting in the old armchair adjacent to the couch. "I'm just saying, there's no reason for you to be alone on the holidays."
Michael shook his head and scowled, leaning back on the couch.
"What?" Max asked in irritation.
"You know, that's just what I've been talking about. All along, I've been saying that we don't belong here. You don't get it. I don't want any ties here! I'm not like you and Isabel. I don't want a family here, because there's a big possibility that I have a real family back on Antar," he said.
Max's jaw tightened.
"You're so set on going back there? Huh?" he said angrily. "Michael, did you ever stop to think that even if your family is still alive, and there's a good possibility that they aren't, that maybe they won't accept you for what you are? You're not pure Antarian, you're a hybrid. How do you know that they'll just accept you back with open arms? My mom worries about you, even though she barely knows you. She worries because you're my friend. Those people on Antar don't even know who you are. They may not even know that you're alive!"
"Do you think your mom would be so worried about me if she knew what I really was? Do you think she wouldn't run screaming if she knew what you and Isabel are?" Michael grated. "You know as well as I do what would happen if she really knew."
"We can't take the chance of putting them in danger. We all agreed to that a long time ago," Max retorted.
"Bullshit!" Michael spat. "Isabel would take the chance. You, you wouldn't tell them anyway, because deep down you think they would look at you like a monster. So don't get all high and mighty on me, Maxwell."
"What's your problem, Michael?" Max asked angrily.
"Nothing, I'm just sick and tired of waiting around here for something to happen while you two play the good son and daughter. Tess is right, we have a destiny, but you don't want to face it," he said.
"What do you want me to do, Michael? Ed told us that we can't do anything without the Granolith, and we have no idea where the hell that is!" Max shouted.
"Yeah well, it doesn't seem to me like you're trying to hard to find it either," Michael snapped.
Max stood, running his hand through his hair.
"You know what? I don't need this crap from you. I came over here so that you wouldn't be alone," he said.
"Don't do me any favors," Michael retorted.
Max shook his head and walked to the door, opening it, before pausing to look at him.
"You know Michael, we may never find the Granolith. We may never go back to Antar. It would be pretty sad that this is all you could say your life is if we don't. You're stuck here for now. I think it's time you started to deal with it. Take a look around. It's not half as bad as you make it out to be," he said, before turning and walking out the door.
He started to walk, without any clear idea of where he was headed. He knew he wasn't going home yet.
Michael could infuriate him like no one else. He could understand his aloofness in one way, because of the way he'd grown up. Be there was a point in everyone's life where they had to start taking responsibility and making of it what they wanted.
He couldn't really understand why he was so dead-set on going to Antar. They didn't know what awaited them there, or what would become of them if it ever happened.
For all of Michael's protestations of not having any ties, Max knew that he longed for a family, just not a human one. He'd been mistreated here, and so he had come to pin his hopes on his Antarian roots. But if all Antarians were like Ed, then he was sure to be disappointed.
Before he knew it, he realized he was on Main Street.
What did Michael expect of him? Did he want him to yearn for a life he didn't remember? This was all he knew, and for all the loneliness and the self-imposed isolation, he loved his parents, and he had come to think of this place as home. No matter where he went, that wouldn't change. But everything else in his life had.
Shouldered with the burden of expectation that he would be his planet's salvation, along with Tess' expectations of him, he felt as if everything were closing in on him.
He wasn't sure who he was anymore. He'd always known he was different, but he never expected any of this.
The town was crowded with many people who were taking in a movie, as was the popular tradition on Thanksgiving evening.
All around him people laughed and enjoyed the time they were spending with their loved ones. Watching them, and he'd never felt more alone in his life.
The pedestrians thinned out as he walked further down the sidewalk. Ahead he could see the lights of the Crashdown flicker out. They must have just closed for the evening. He paused, thinking that maybe he should turn back, and then he caught sight of a face through the plate-glass window of the coffee shop across the street, and faltered.
Liz.
He hadn't expected she'd be home for the holiday, and it was a shock to see her sitting at the table with Maria and Alex. Her long, dark hair had gotten longer, and her face had matured a bit.
She looked as beautiful as she ever had, but something had changed. She was different.
When her eyes met his, he could see a new sadness that had permeated their softness. It was as if she looked too wise for her years. Something passed between them, as if she were speaking to him only with her eyes.
He felt a lump form in his throat as he recognized her sadness, familiar with his own.
She was looking directly at him, and he couldn't look away from her.
A flicker of recognition flashed in hers. She saw his pain too.
It was as if time froze for those few seconds. Everything around him ceased to exist except for that beautiful face in the window.
And then she turned away.
He sighed. He shouldn't have stopped, shouldn't have looked into her eyes. It only reminded him once again of what he could never have.
He could have walked across the street and into the coffee shop and offered a casual hello, but what would that have accomplished?
Being near her, hearing her voice would have been too much for him to bear.
He walked away without looking back, but her face haunted his thoughts. One again, he remembered that fleeting moment at graduation, her arms around him and her lips pressed against his cheek. He shivered as remembered feeling the barest whisper of her breath near his ear as she spoke, sending a shiver down his spine.
He remembered the soft smell of flowers, mixed with some sweet unnamed scent that was she.
But most of all he remembered the brightness of her eyes, the flush of her cheeks, and the promise that seemed to fill her very being. Promise for a bright future and the life she'd hoped to attain.
He didn't see that in her face tonight. He'd seen loss. He wondered what had happened to her while she was in Boston that had changed her so.
She remained on his mind the rest of the night as he wandered the streets, and long after he came into the darkened house, lying on his bed waiting for sleep to come.
******
Three weeks later, she was back in Roswell, and this time he wished she didn't have a reason to return.
It was Isabel that had woken him with the news. He felt someone shaking him, and he turned over, not yet ready to face the day.
"Max wake up," Isabel said quietly. "Something's happened."
Something in the tone of her voice caused him his eyes to snap open, and he turned toward her.
"What's wrong?" he said, his voice still gravelly with sleep.
She sat on the bed, her head turned away from him.
He sat up.
"Isabel?" he said.
"Liz Parker's parents are dead," she said.
He stopped breathing for a few seconds, the shock of what she'd just said rendering him momentarily numb numb.
"What?" he whispered finally in disbelief, throwing his legs over the side of the bed.
"A fire broke out in the Crashdown, late last night," she said.
"The Parker's were upstairs sleeping," she said, shaking her head, her voice quivering. "They never had a chance. The Sheriff said that the fire alarms failed. By the time the fire department got there, it was too late."
"Where did you hear?" he said, his heart breaking for Liz.
"I went out early with Dad to the bakery. Everyone in town's talking about it," she said, turning toward him.
"God, poor Liz," he said, his chest tightening.
He wondered if she knew yet. His throat tightened as he imagined how she must be feeling. He couldn't imagine losing both of his parents at once, and in such a horrible way. He felt the ache in his chest grow.
"She's going to come home for the funeral Max," Isabel said in a worried tone. "You aren't...you won't..."
He already knew what she was getting at, and grew angry.
"She's been gone for two years Isabel," Max said. "I barely spoke to her when she was here. Where is this coming from?"
"I don't know," she shrugged evasively, standing up, but he already had his suspicions. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have..."
"Isabel," he prompted, "tell me the truth."
She sighed and looked up at the ceiling.
"All right, Tess mentioned something," she said.
"Tess," he answered, clearly letting her know that he already had an idea.
"We saw her this morning in town," she said lamely. "She's just...I don't know, Max. She's trying so hard with you, and you just keep your distance. She says she loves you."
"She doesn't love me. She doesn't even know me," Max said in disgust.
"She knows you've had this thing for Liz since high school," Isabel said. "You can't blame her for feeling this way."
"I can't help it she feels the way she does," Max said, running his hand through his disheveled hair. "I can't be what she wants me to be."
"But you can't be what you want to be either, Max," Isabel said with a scowl.
"God, in some ways I want to stay here as much as you do, but the reality of it is, we're different. Even if we never go back, there's the chance that someday they might come for us. What then? We don’t even know what could happen if things...progressed with a human!" she stammered.
Now he was sure that Tess had talking to her, putting ideas in her head.
"I guess Tess has been working on you," he muttered. "You know what? That's just tough that she's feeling insecure, Isabel."
Isabel let out an exasperated sigh.
"Max," she said.
"This isn't about Tess. Liz's parents are dead, and you're harping on me about this? I haven't even talked to Liz Parker since we graduated. What makes you think that that's going to change now?" he asked in annoyance.
"Because she's just lost everything," Isabel said, as if he should have seen the obvious. "I know you Max, and I know what you did the last time."
He felt his control snap at her veiled accusation.
"I can't bring her parents back," he said angrily. "So what's your point?"
She stared at him for a moment, and then stood.
"Nothing," she said finally. "Forget it."
"I'm not going to do anything to jeopardize any of us," he said darkly. "But beyond that, just leave me alone Isabel. I have enough on my shoulders as it is."
"Fine," she said angrily, slamming the door behind her.
********
Liz did come home a few days later, and to him, she looked like a shadow of her former self, drawn and....defeated.
He wished that he had the words to say to her to comfort her. He wished he could take her pain away, even if only for a few minutes. But it was a foolish thought. She had Maria and Alex. She and Kyle had broken up right after graduation, but from what he’d heard they remained close. Who knew? She might even have a boyfriend at school.
Besides, what could he have said to her? She barely knew him, and half the town was offering her their sympathies and offers of help. What could his simple words possibly mean to her, the words of a virtual stranger?
So he kept silent and stayed away from the wake. But he found himself drawn to the service and the cemetery afterwards. He watched from a distance, as was his custom.
She looked so small next to Alex, so fragile. He would have given anything to be able to put his arms around her, to take this away.
Why did things have to be so unfair? Someone like Liz should never have had to go through something like this. He knew things like this happened all over the world, but it broke his heart knowing that she'd lost her family.
The short service ended, and people started to file away, but she stayed for awhile after everyone else had gone.
As he watched her, his eyes filled with tears, knowing that though she had friends, she felt completely alone. He wished that he could tell her that it was all going to be ok. He wished he could tell her that he knew what it felt like to feel that isolation, to know that though there were people around, you could still feel completely alone.
Lately, he'd felt as if he couldn't even relate to Isabel and Michael. He loved them, and he would do anything for them, but it seemed as if they were on opposing sides. He missed the closeness that they used to share, a closeness that came from being different, of having to hide. These days, their objectives were different, and Max had been feeling the distance. He could see that they were feeling it too, but none of them knew how to breach it.
He stood there for a long time, aching to approach Liz. Watching her, he started to once again question why it was so important that he remain so aloof. Why couldn't he just walk over and talk to her? She needed someone, he could see it. She'd told the others to leave, but everything in his heart was telling him that someone should be with her.
Finally, she turned away from the gravesite, her head hanging in grief, and he made his decision. He couldn't just stand by and watch her stand there alone, her heart broken.
He took a tentative step, and a hand fell on his arm.
"You have to let this go Max," a voice said.
He closed his eyes.
"Leave me alone, Tess," he said without turning around.
"It's time you embrace who you are! She's only a human girl. You could be so much more than she'll ever be," she said, indignant, and he felt his ire grow.
"Don't talk about her like that," he snapped, turning to face her.
She looked up at him with indignation, crossing her arms over her chest.
"Did you think I didn't see your puppy-dog mooning? Since high school? Since I got here? What, do you think if you told her your little secret that she wouldn't run away screaming? Or even if she didn't, have you even considered that if you did tell her, you'd be putting her at risk for the rest of her life?" she asked.
He remained silent, his jaw clenching.
"It's time to accept your destiny, Max. You'll never be like them. There is nothing tying Liz to Roswell now. A whole world of opportunities awaits her out there. Do you want to take that away from her?" she asked.
She was right. There were a world of reasons why he shouldn't take the chance, and only one reason that he should. That reason was that he loved her, and there was no guarantee that it would be enough in the end.
"You can be great, if you only accept who you are," she said. "You have to let her go."
"I know," he said, his voice toneless.
He turned toward her. He knew she was right, but that didn't stop him from hating her in that moment.
As he walked away from Liz that day, a part of his heart died too.
The next day, she was gone. He knew it without anyone telling him. He also knew in his heart she wouldn't be back.
He finally started to accept that his boyhood fancies were just that, and that he needed to wake up and deal with the harsh reality of who he was and what he could never be.
*******
Christmas Eve was a quiet affair at his house and as he lay in his room that night, his thoughts would not leave Liz.
He could only imagine the loneliness she was feeling tonight. It was horrible enough that she had lost her parents, but even worse that it was at this time of year.
He cursed his helplessness that he had not been able to stop what had now happened to family. Twice he'd been too late, the first time with her grandmother, and now her parents.
He knew that people lost their loved ones. It was a fact of life. But there was something so wrong about the way she had lost her parents. It shouldn't have been their time. They were too young to die so horribly.
An idea had been dancing in the back of his head for a few days. Overcome by his frustration, he decided to do something about it, and damn the consequences. If he couldn't make it right for Liz, then he would do it for someone else.
He climbed out of his window, keeping a careful eye out for Michael, remembering what had happened the last time.
He climbed into the jeep, taking the parking break off and letting it roll into the street before starting it.
The drive to Las Cruces seemed shorter than normal, probably because most people were home in bed anticipating Santa Claus or spending time with their loved ones the following day. The holidays were a time for families, and he had never been more grateful to have his parents alive and well. Liz wasn't so lucky.
He pulled into the hospital parking lot, and waved his hands over his clothes, changing them to scrubs, and got out of the jeep, walking through the automatic doors. He looked at the directory and found what he was looking for.
Moving to the elevator, he pressed the third floor button and watched as the doors slid closed.
His heart was beating wildly, hammering in his chest. If he got caught now, it was all over.
The doors slid open, and he stepped out, seeing the nurses' desk to his left. He turned to the right and walked down the hall, looking into the rooms, looking for a sign.
Most of the beds had curtains pulled around them in each room he looked into, but the fifth was a ward-like room with multiple beds.
He opened the door silently, staring at the small children, some of them losing their hair, some of them completely bald, some of them possessing the round faces that were a trait of the deadly treatments.
They were asleep. That was good. They wouldn't remember a thing.
He walked to the first bed and waved his hand slowly over the sleeping girl's body, looking for the abnormal cells that were attacking her body. His hand froze over her chest, and he laid it there, gently as he raised his hand to cup the child's head.
She stirred and opened her eyes drowsily.
"Santa?" she asked softly.
"No," he said with a sad smile. "Go back to sleep. Santa's on his way."
She smiled and closed her eyes, and he connected with the child, his hands erasing the cancer. He felt tears springing to his eyes as he saw her memories, her adoration for her parents, her absolute devotion to the family dog Terence; a perfect moment where she sat in a swing, her father pushing her higher, a soft breeze on her face, the sun a warm blanket on her closed eyelids.
He pulled away when it was done. She would see another one of those perfect days now.
He moved to the next child and used his energy to restore what had gone so wrong in his body. The images from the little boy's mind left him gasping, in tears. It wasn't because it was a great drain on his energy. He had seen what it was like not to live in fear, to know where you came from and to whom you belonged. This little boy had never wondered why he was different. He never had to hide what he was. He never wondered who his parents were. He always knew he was safe.
Max glanced to the next bed and began anew, healing each and every child in the room, eight in all. When he was finished, he was close to collapse, overwhelmed by the innocence of these children. He stumbled to the door, covered in sweat and barely able to breathe.
Glancing out of the room before leaving, he continued down the hall to the emergency stairwell, much like he had the night he'd tried to heal Liz's grandmother.
The hospital was minimally staffed that night due to the holiday, and this time, he met no resistance.
He waved his hands over his clothes again, returning them to his normal state, and started the long drive home.
He was barely able to focus by the time he pulled into his driveway, and when he tried to climb into his window, he fell to the carpeted floor. Dragging himself up with the last of his energy, he collapsed on the bed.
The next morning the news story broke on the television, of the Christmas miracle that had been discovered in Las Cruces. Eight children had miraculously been cured of cancer. He sat at the kitchen table by himself, listening to the television, closing his eyes with a smile.
He was still exhausted, but it felt good. It felt good to do something good, not to feel helpless, to know that though he couldn't take back what had happened to someone he cared deeply about, in some small way, he had given that gift to someone else.
It was his Christmas gift to himself, and to Liz, though she would never know it.
*******
To Be Continued On Sunday
You cannot quit me so quickly
There's no hope in you for me
No corner you could squeeze me
But I got all the time for you, love
The Space Between
The tears we cry
Is the laughter keeps us coming back for more
The Space Between
The wicked lies we tell
And hope to keep safe from the pain
But will I hold you again?
These fickle, fuddled words confuse me
Like 'Will it rain today?'
Waste the hours with talking, talking
These twisted games we're playing
We're strange allies
With warring hearts
What wild-eyed beast you be
The Space Between
The wicked lies we tell
And hope to keep safe from the pain
Will I hold you again?
Will I hold...
Look at us spinning out in
The madness of a roller coaster
You know you went off like a devil
In a church in the middle of a crowded room
All we can do, my love
Is hope we don't take this ship down
The Space Between
Where you're smiling high
Is where you'll find me if I get to go
The Space Between
The bullets in our firefight
Is where I'll be hiding, waiting for you
The rain that falls
Splash in your heart
Ran like sadness down the window into...
The Space Between
Our wicked lies
Is where we hope to keep safe from pain
Take my hand
'Cause we're walking out of here
Oh, right out of here
Love is all we need here
The Space Between
What's wrong and right
Is where you'll find me hiding, waiting for you
The Space Between
Your heart and mine
Is the space we'll fill with time
The Space Between...
Part Sixteen
Fall - 2004
*~Max~*
Max was feeling crushed under the weight of what he was. It was bad enough not knowing where they had come from or why there were here, but if he had the choice, he would have gladly gone back to that time and given up the knowledge that they had gained.
Now he had the answers they had always wanted. He knew where he was from, but he had also gained a former wife, another responsibility he did not want.
Tess had grown more insistent that they belonged together, and he had resigned himself to the fact that he would forever be stuck with her, because she was his kind. The book and everything that she and Ed had told him said that they needed to remain together, the four of them. He could live with that, but assuming his former role as Tess' lover and once-husband was where he drew the line. He accepted the fact that they were a unit, but he couldn't look at Tess the way she'd expected him too. His heart belonged to Liz. It always had, even if he could never be with her.
Max learned more about Tess' powers, and realized that she had initiated that pull that he had felt toward her when she'd first come to town. She said it was only to "awaken" him to his destiny, but he made sure he was clear that she wasn't to do it again, placating her by saying that if something developed between them then it should happen naturally. He knew there was no way on Earth it was ever going to happen, but it seemed to make Tess step back a bit.
No matter what Tess said or did, he remained at arm's length. Together, they were strong as a unit, but like Michael and Isabel, he'd had led a human life for the most part, developing human emotions and attachments.
Their contact with Ed was maintained through Tess, who gave them sporadic reports of the FBI's doings in Washington.
Max continued to work at the UFO Museum, searching for any hidden clue to the whereabouts of the Granolith. Yet with all of his equipment and resources, nothing had surfaced for over a year.
In that time, they maintained the appearance of normalcy.
Isabel went on to community college, and Max took classes as well. Michael had taken a job at an auto-body shop, painting cars. Max was working at the museum in between classes noting the information he learned about rumored aliens living on Earth, taking copious notes in a journal that he kept hidden. Most of the reports were fabrications, but there had been a few rumors, one in particular that was quite disturbing.
In Arizona, in a town called Copper Summit, there were reports of a colony of aliens, hunting for the Royal shape-shifters now rumored to be living on Earth. This information was passed along the abductees’ network that was discounted by most people as a bunch of loons on one of their rants. They spoke of manufactured skins and a great harvest that would restore their dying dermis, allowing them greater freedom to search for and destroy the Royal Four. Their efforts had been temporarily thwarted by a rogue Skin successful in destryong their first crop of husks. Now the town was entrenched in a frantic search to create new ones, while preserving the ones currently in use for as long as possible.
Though he kept close tabs on those reports, he never told Michael, Isabel, or Tess about it. There was nothing they could do about it, and he himself knew Michael well enough to know that he would react without thinking first, possibly putting them all in jeopardy.
Working across the street from the Crashdown reminded him of Liz often.
She hadn't come home for two summers, and when he casually asked her father how she was doing, he told him she was doubling up to finish early. That was just like Liz. He felt a small sense of satisfaction that she was out there, living her dreams, doing exactly what she wanted to do.
Tess had long since caught on to his infatuation with Liz, despite his suggestion that they take things slowly, to see what developed between them. He knew she'd known it the day of graduation, when he'd disappeared into the crowd. But she'd never mentioned it, and after Liz left for school that summer, she'd made it a point to be around him as much as possible, reminding him of what he was and of their responsibility to a world they had never seen in this lifetime.
He thought that keeping a polite distance from her would make her realize that he could never feel for her what she wanted him to feel. He thought she would back off. But she didn't seem to get the hint. He supposed she thought that with Liz gone, he would come around.
The truth was, Liz was out making her future and he was stuck in limbo in Roswell, and he knew it. But he couldn't bring himself to betray his heart. Just because he could never be with the human girl he dreamed of, it didn't mean that he had to settle for something that he knew in his heart would have made both he and Tess unhappy in the end.
It was the Thanksgiving holiday break, and the town was buzzing with holiday shopping. He never thought much about the holidays. It was a big deal, especially to his mother, but to him, it didn't mean much.
Isabel invited Tess to Thanksgiving dinner, much to his dismay. He had hoped for a bit of peace, a little bit of a break.
But instead he found himself seated next to Tess for dinner.
She pushed her chair uncomfortably close to his, and he felt his irritation rise.
He remained tense and unusually quiet through dinner, and it didn't go unnoticed by his mother.
After what seemed like an eternity, dinner was finished, he quickly offered to help his mother clean up. She seemed a little surprised, but didn't push it. When Tess also offered, his mother told Isabel to go and relax with her guest.
Tess was clearly disappointed, but couldn't do anything about it, and they went to Isabel's room.
His mother cast frequent glances at him while they washed the dishes. He felt her eyes boring into him, but ignored it, concentrating on drying and letting his thoughts wander.
Everything depended on them finding the Granolith, but he found himself hoping that they never did. Because if they found it, he would most likely be going to a planet he'd never seen, to play a king to a people he didn't remember. And Tess would of course be acknowledged as his queen. The very thought of it made him ill.
"Max honey," his mother said finally, and he glanced at her.
"Yeah Mom?" he said, distracted.
"What's going on with you lately?" she asked. "We haven't talked much."
He shrugged.
"Nothing really," he answered, putting a dish away. "The usual. Work, school."
She nodded.
"What about you and Tess?" she asked, trying to act casual.
He shrugged.
"I don't know," he said, offhandedly, feeling decidedly uncomfortable.
"She seems like a nice girl, and you two seem to spend a lot of time together. I was just wondering if you were dating or something," she said. "I've wanted to ask you about it for awhile, but you never said anything, and when Isabel asked to have her over tonight and you looked so uncomfortable, I just thought that maybe something had happened. I know that Isabel is friends with her, but..."
He shook his head.
"She's just a friend," he said, grabbing a glass and rubbing it with a dishtowel.
"Do you like her?" his mother asked, picking up another dirty dish.
He sighed and put the glass down, turning toward his mother.
"Mom, I really don't want to talk about this," he said.
"Ok, ok. It's just that...your sister dates, and I was just, I don't know. I was just wondering what's going on in your life," she said, turning the water off.
"It's complicated," he said, putting the glass away.
"Why?" she asked, leaning against the counter.
He put the towel down and chewed at his lower lip, wondering how to explain what he was feeling.
"Did you ever just...know when something wasn't right, Mom? It's not that I don't like Tess or anything. And....I know people just sort of assume that we're together, because we've been around each other so much since high school, and she doesn't really do anything to let anyone think otherwise," he said.
He sighed, and looked down.
"But I can't feel the way she wants me to feel about her," he continued.
"It would make things so much easier if I did, but I just can't. I don't really want to hurt her feelings, but I think it would be worse all around in the end if I ignored my heart," he said.
He glanced at his mother and saw tears shining in her eyes.
"What?" he asked, not sure why she was upset.
He was a bit taken aback when she reached over and put her hands on his cheeks, giving him a sound kiss on his temple.
"You follow your heart Max, and don't let anyone ever tell you differently," she said with a smile. "It will never steer you wrong."
He nodded slowly.
"Now why don't you get out of here before Tess and Isabel come back down for dessert? Go and see Michael. You can bring him a plate of leftovers, since he couldn't come," she said.
His mother had just given him a gift, a chance to get away from Tess, if only for just a little while.
"Thanks Mom," he said with a grateful smile.
She fixed a plate and wrapped it up for him and shooed him out of the kitchen.
He didn't wait around, but left immediately, grateful for the down time. He decided to walk to Michael's to clear his head.
He figured hanging out with Michael was preferable to being smothered by Tess all night. He hoped she would be gone when he went home. He planned to stay away as long as he could to make sure of it.
It didn't take him long to get to Michael's apartment, and he was greeted with a scowl when he opened the door. Michael left the door ajar, walking back into the apartment and flopping back on the couch in front of the television.
Max walked in and closed the door, putting the plate his mother had made up on the coffee table.
"My mom sent this over for you," he said.
Michael nodded and got up, pulling the foil off the plate, throwing it out and getting utensils and Tobasco before sitting down again.
"Tell her I said thanks," he said, as he picked up the plate and started to liberally shake the sauce over the food.
"Michael, she's been doing this for years. Why can’t you give in just once and come over for dinner?" he asked.
"I don't do family gatherings," Michael muttered with his mouth full.
"You could've come, just this once," Max pointed out, shaking his head.
Michael looked up at him in irritation.
"What the hell is this?" he asked. "Did you come over here to give me a guilt trip or something?"
"No," Max said quickly, sitting in the old armchair adjacent to the couch. "I'm just saying, there's no reason for you to be alone on the holidays."
Michael shook his head and scowled, leaning back on the couch.
"What?" Max asked in irritation.
"You know, that's just what I've been talking about. All along, I've been saying that we don't belong here. You don't get it. I don't want any ties here! I'm not like you and Isabel. I don't want a family here, because there's a big possibility that I have a real family back on Antar," he said.
Max's jaw tightened.
"You're so set on going back there? Huh?" he said angrily. "Michael, did you ever stop to think that even if your family is still alive, and there's a good possibility that they aren't, that maybe they won't accept you for what you are? You're not pure Antarian, you're a hybrid. How do you know that they'll just accept you back with open arms? My mom worries about you, even though she barely knows you. She worries because you're my friend. Those people on Antar don't even know who you are. They may not even know that you're alive!"
"Do you think your mom would be so worried about me if she knew what I really was? Do you think she wouldn't run screaming if she knew what you and Isabel are?" Michael grated. "You know as well as I do what would happen if she really knew."
"We can't take the chance of putting them in danger. We all agreed to that a long time ago," Max retorted.
"Bullshit!" Michael spat. "Isabel would take the chance. You, you wouldn't tell them anyway, because deep down you think they would look at you like a monster. So don't get all high and mighty on me, Maxwell."
"What's your problem, Michael?" Max asked angrily.
"Nothing, I'm just sick and tired of waiting around here for something to happen while you two play the good son and daughter. Tess is right, we have a destiny, but you don't want to face it," he said.
"What do you want me to do, Michael? Ed told us that we can't do anything without the Granolith, and we have no idea where the hell that is!" Max shouted.
"Yeah well, it doesn't seem to me like you're trying to hard to find it either," Michael snapped.
Max stood, running his hand through his hair.
"You know what? I don't need this crap from you. I came over here so that you wouldn't be alone," he said.
"Don't do me any favors," Michael retorted.
Max shook his head and walked to the door, opening it, before pausing to look at him.
"You know Michael, we may never find the Granolith. We may never go back to Antar. It would be pretty sad that this is all you could say your life is if we don't. You're stuck here for now. I think it's time you started to deal with it. Take a look around. It's not half as bad as you make it out to be," he said, before turning and walking out the door.
He started to walk, without any clear idea of where he was headed. He knew he wasn't going home yet.
Michael could infuriate him like no one else. He could understand his aloofness in one way, because of the way he'd grown up. Be there was a point in everyone's life where they had to start taking responsibility and making of it what they wanted.
He couldn't really understand why he was so dead-set on going to Antar. They didn't know what awaited them there, or what would become of them if it ever happened.
For all of Michael's protestations of not having any ties, Max knew that he longed for a family, just not a human one. He'd been mistreated here, and so he had come to pin his hopes on his Antarian roots. But if all Antarians were like Ed, then he was sure to be disappointed.
Before he knew it, he realized he was on Main Street.
What did Michael expect of him? Did he want him to yearn for a life he didn't remember? This was all he knew, and for all the loneliness and the self-imposed isolation, he loved his parents, and he had come to think of this place as home. No matter where he went, that wouldn't change. But everything else in his life had.
Shouldered with the burden of expectation that he would be his planet's salvation, along with Tess' expectations of him, he felt as if everything were closing in on him.
He wasn't sure who he was anymore. He'd always known he was different, but he never expected any of this.
The town was crowded with many people who were taking in a movie, as was the popular tradition on Thanksgiving evening.
All around him people laughed and enjoyed the time they were spending with their loved ones. Watching them, and he'd never felt more alone in his life.
The pedestrians thinned out as he walked further down the sidewalk. Ahead he could see the lights of the Crashdown flicker out. They must have just closed for the evening. He paused, thinking that maybe he should turn back, and then he caught sight of a face through the plate-glass window of the coffee shop across the street, and faltered.
Liz.
He hadn't expected she'd be home for the holiday, and it was a shock to see her sitting at the table with Maria and Alex. Her long, dark hair had gotten longer, and her face had matured a bit.
She looked as beautiful as she ever had, but something had changed. She was different.
When her eyes met his, he could see a new sadness that had permeated their softness. It was as if she looked too wise for her years. Something passed between them, as if she were speaking to him only with her eyes.
He felt a lump form in his throat as he recognized her sadness, familiar with his own.
She was looking directly at him, and he couldn't look away from her.
A flicker of recognition flashed in hers. She saw his pain too.
It was as if time froze for those few seconds. Everything around him ceased to exist except for that beautiful face in the window.
And then she turned away.
He sighed. He shouldn't have stopped, shouldn't have looked into her eyes. It only reminded him once again of what he could never have.
He could have walked across the street and into the coffee shop and offered a casual hello, but what would that have accomplished?
Being near her, hearing her voice would have been too much for him to bear.
He walked away without looking back, but her face haunted his thoughts. One again, he remembered that fleeting moment at graduation, her arms around him and her lips pressed against his cheek. He shivered as remembered feeling the barest whisper of her breath near his ear as she spoke, sending a shiver down his spine.
He remembered the soft smell of flowers, mixed with some sweet unnamed scent that was she.
But most of all he remembered the brightness of her eyes, the flush of her cheeks, and the promise that seemed to fill her very being. Promise for a bright future and the life she'd hoped to attain.
He didn't see that in her face tonight. He'd seen loss. He wondered what had happened to her while she was in Boston that had changed her so.
She remained on his mind the rest of the night as he wandered the streets, and long after he came into the darkened house, lying on his bed waiting for sleep to come.
******
Three weeks later, she was back in Roswell, and this time he wished she didn't have a reason to return.
It was Isabel that had woken him with the news. He felt someone shaking him, and he turned over, not yet ready to face the day.
"Max wake up," Isabel said quietly. "Something's happened."
Something in the tone of her voice caused him his eyes to snap open, and he turned toward her.
"What's wrong?" he said, his voice still gravelly with sleep.
She sat on the bed, her head turned away from him.
He sat up.
"Isabel?" he said.
"Liz Parker's parents are dead," she said.
He stopped breathing for a few seconds, the shock of what she'd just said rendering him momentarily numb numb.
"What?" he whispered finally in disbelief, throwing his legs over the side of the bed.
"A fire broke out in the Crashdown, late last night," she said.
"The Parker's were upstairs sleeping," she said, shaking her head, her voice quivering. "They never had a chance. The Sheriff said that the fire alarms failed. By the time the fire department got there, it was too late."
"Where did you hear?" he said, his heart breaking for Liz.
"I went out early with Dad to the bakery. Everyone in town's talking about it," she said, turning toward him.
"God, poor Liz," he said, his chest tightening.
He wondered if she knew yet. His throat tightened as he imagined how she must be feeling. He couldn't imagine losing both of his parents at once, and in such a horrible way. He felt the ache in his chest grow.
"She's going to come home for the funeral Max," Isabel said in a worried tone. "You aren't...you won't..."
He already knew what she was getting at, and grew angry.
"She's been gone for two years Isabel," Max said. "I barely spoke to her when she was here. Where is this coming from?"
"I don't know," she shrugged evasively, standing up, but he already had his suspicions. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have..."
"Isabel," he prompted, "tell me the truth."
She sighed and looked up at the ceiling.
"All right, Tess mentioned something," she said.
"Tess," he answered, clearly letting her know that he already had an idea.
"We saw her this morning in town," she said lamely. "She's just...I don't know, Max. She's trying so hard with you, and you just keep your distance. She says she loves you."
"She doesn't love me. She doesn't even know me," Max said in disgust.
"She knows you've had this thing for Liz since high school," Isabel said. "You can't blame her for feeling this way."
"I can't help it she feels the way she does," Max said, running his hand through his disheveled hair. "I can't be what she wants me to be."
"But you can't be what you want to be either, Max," Isabel said with a scowl.
"God, in some ways I want to stay here as much as you do, but the reality of it is, we're different. Even if we never go back, there's the chance that someday they might come for us. What then? We don’t even know what could happen if things...progressed with a human!" she stammered.
Now he was sure that Tess had talking to her, putting ideas in her head.
"I guess Tess has been working on you," he muttered. "You know what? That's just tough that she's feeling insecure, Isabel."
Isabel let out an exasperated sigh.
"Max," she said.
"This isn't about Tess. Liz's parents are dead, and you're harping on me about this? I haven't even talked to Liz Parker since we graduated. What makes you think that that's going to change now?" he asked in annoyance.
"Because she's just lost everything," Isabel said, as if he should have seen the obvious. "I know you Max, and I know what you did the last time."
He felt his control snap at her veiled accusation.
"I can't bring her parents back," he said angrily. "So what's your point?"
She stared at him for a moment, and then stood.
"Nothing," she said finally. "Forget it."
"I'm not going to do anything to jeopardize any of us," he said darkly. "But beyond that, just leave me alone Isabel. I have enough on my shoulders as it is."
"Fine," she said angrily, slamming the door behind her.
********
Liz did come home a few days later, and to him, she looked like a shadow of her former self, drawn and....defeated.
He wished that he had the words to say to her to comfort her. He wished he could take her pain away, even if only for a few minutes. But it was a foolish thought. She had Maria and Alex. She and Kyle had broken up right after graduation, but from what he’d heard they remained close. Who knew? She might even have a boyfriend at school.
Besides, what could he have said to her? She barely knew him, and half the town was offering her their sympathies and offers of help. What could his simple words possibly mean to her, the words of a virtual stranger?
So he kept silent and stayed away from the wake. But he found himself drawn to the service and the cemetery afterwards. He watched from a distance, as was his custom.
She looked so small next to Alex, so fragile. He would have given anything to be able to put his arms around her, to take this away.
Why did things have to be so unfair? Someone like Liz should never have had to go through something like this. He knew things like this happened all over the world, but it broke his heart knowing that she'd lost her family.
The short service ended, and people started to file away, but she stayed for awhile after everyone else had gone.
As he watched her, his eyes filled with tears, knowing that though she had friends, she felt completely alone. He wished that he could tell her that it was all going to be ok. He wished he could tell her that he knew what it felt like to feel that isolation, to know that though there were people around, you could still feel completely alone.
Lately, he'd felt as if he couldn't even relate to Isabel and Michael. He loved them, and he would do anything for them, but it seemed as if they were on opposing sides. He missed the closeness that they used to share, a closeness that came from being different, of having to hide. These days, their objectives were different, and Max had been feeling the distance. He could see that they were feeling it too, but none of them knew how to breach it.
He stood there for a long time, aching to approach Liz. Watching her, he started to once again question why it was so important that he remain so aloof. Why couldn't he just walk over and talk to her? She needed someone, he could see it. She'd told the others to leave, but everything in his heart was telling him that someone should be with her.
Finally, she turned away from the gravesite, her head hanging in grief, and he made his decision. He couldn't just stand by and watch her stand there alone, her heart broken.
He took a tentative step, and a hand fell on his arm.
"You have to let this go Max," a voice said.
He closed his eyes.
"Leave me alone, Tess," he said without turning around.
"It's time you embrace who you are! She's only a human girl. You could be so much more than she'll ever be," she said, indignant, and he felt his ire grow.
"Don't talk about her like that," he snapped, turning to face her.
She looked up at him with indignation, crossing her arms over her chest.
"Did you think I didn't see your puppy-dog mooning? Since high school? Since I got here? What, do you think if you told her your little secret that she wouldn't run away screaming? Or even if she didn't, have you even considered that if you did tell her, you'd be putting her at risk for the rest of her life?" she asked.
He remained silent, his jaw clenching.
"It's time to accept your destiny, Max. You'll never be like them. There is nothing tying Liz to Roswell now. A whole world of opportunities awaits her out there. Do you want to take that away from her?" she asked.
She was right. There were a world of reasons why he shouldn't take the chance, and only one reason that he should. That reason was that he loved her, and there was no guarantee that it would be enough in the end.
"You can be great, if you only accept who you are," she said. "You have to let her go."
"I know," he said, his voice toneless.
He turned toward her. He knew she was right, but that didn't stop him from hating her in that moment.
As he walked away from Liz that day, a part of his heart died too.
The next day, she was gone. He knew it without anyone telling him. He also knew in his heart she wouldn't be back.
He finally started to accept that his boyhood fancies were just that, and that he needed to wake up and deal with the harsh reality of who he was and what he could never be.
*******
Christmas Eve was a quiet affair at his house and as he lay in his room that night, his thoughts would not leave Liz.
He could only imagine the loneliness she was feeling tonight. It was horrible enough that she had lost her parents, but even worse that it was at this time of year.
He cursed his helplessness that he had not been able to stop what had now happened to family. Twice he'd been too late, the first time with her grandmother, and now her parents.
He knew that people lost their loved ones. It was a fact of life. But there was something so wrong about the way she had lost her parents. It shouldn't have been their time. They were too young to die so horribly.
An idea had been dancing in the back of his head for a few days. Overcome by his frustration, he decided to do something about it, and damn the consequences. If he couldn't make it right for Liz, then he would do it for someone else.
He climbed out of his window, keeping a careful eye out for Michael, remembering what had happened the last time.
He climbed into the jeep, taking the parking break off and letting it roll into the street before starting it.
The drive to Las Cruces seemed shorter than normal, probably because most people were home in bed anticipating Santa Claus or spending time with their loved ones the following day. The holidays were a time for families, and he had never been more grateful to have his parents alive and well. Liz wasn't so lucky.
He pulled into the hospital parking lot, and waved his hands over his clothes, changing them to scrubs, and got out of the jeep, walking through the automatic doors. He looked at the directory and found what he was looking for.
Moving to the elevator, he pressed the third floor button and watched as the doors slid closed.
His heart was beating wildly, hammering in his chest. If he got caught now, it was all over.
The doors slid open, and he stepped out, seeing the nurses' desk to his left. He turned to the right and walked down the hall, looking into the rooms, looking for a sign.
Most of the beds had curtains pulled around them in each room he looked into, but the fifth was a ward-like room with multiple beds.
He opened the door silently, staring at the small children, some of them losing their hair, some of them completely bald, some of them possessing the round faces that were a trait of the deadly treatments.
They were asleep. That was good. They wouldn't remember a thing.
He walked to the first bed and waved his hand slowly over the sleeping girl's body, looking for the abnormal cells that were attacking her body. His hand froze over her chest, and he laid it there, gently as he raised his hand to cup the child's head.
She stirred and opened her eyes drowsily.
"Santa?" she asked softly.
"No," he said with a sad smile. "Go back to sleep. Santa's on his way."
She smiled and closed her eyes, and he connected with the child, his hands erasing the cancer. He felt tears springing to his eyes as he saw her memories, her adoration for her parents, her absolute devotion to the family dog Terence; a perfect moment where she sat in a swing, her father pushing her higher, a soft breeze on her face, the sun a warm blanket on her closed eyelids.
He pulled away when it was done. She would see another one of those perfect days now.
He moved to the next child and used his energy to restore what had gone so wrong in his body. The images from the little boy's mind left him gasping, in tears. It wasn't because it was a great drain on his energy. He had seen what it was like not to live in fear, to know where you came from and to whom you belonged. This little boy had never wondered why he was different. He never had to hide what he was. He never wondered who his parents were. He always knew he was safe.
Max glanced to the next bed and began anew, healing each and every child in the room, eight in all. When he was finished, he was close to collapse, overwhelmed by the innocence of these children. He stumbled to the door, covered in sweat and barely able to breathe.
Glancing out of the room before leaving, he continued down the hall to the emergency stairwell, much like he had the night he'd tried to heal Liz's grandmother.
The hospital was minimally staffed that night due to the holiday, and this time, he met no resistance.
He waved his hands over his clothes again, returning them to his normal state, and started the long drive home.
He was barely able to focus by the time he pulled into his driveway, and when he tried to climb into his window, he fell to the carpeted floor. Dragging himself up with the last of his energy, he collapsed on the bed.
The next morning the news story broke on the television, of the Christmas miracle that had been discovered in Las Cruces. Eight children had miraculously been cured of cancer. He sat at the kitchen table by himself, listening to the television, closing his eyes with a smile.
He was still exhausted, but it felt good. It felt good to do something good, not to feel helpless, to know that though he couldn't take back what had happened to someone he cared deeply about, in some small way, he had given that gift to someone else.
It was his Christmas gift to himself, and to Liz, though she would never know it.
*******
To Be Continued On Sunday
Well, I have some good news, and some bad news.
I'll give you the bad news first. There's no happy stuff in the near future. I know Max's POV is sort of depressing, but that's the way it wrote itself.
Max's journey in this timeline is not easy. It's without Liz for the most part, and he has to deal with things alone, which isn't easy for him either.
I'll be posting the next part a little early, Tuesday, and then I am away until the following Wednesday. Realistically, the next part probably after Tuesday won't be up until the following Thursday.
Now, the good news. There is light at the end of this tunnel, and I've decided to write a separate companion piece to this fic instead of an epilogue, because I don't think one part, even a long one is going to cover what I want to, and give you all the payoff I know you want at the end of the story. It won't be anywhere near as long as this, but I think it deserves its own title.
I've basically finished the revamp of the end of Serendipity (except for one scene, which I am working on now), and I am already one part into writing the companion piece. As of yet, it's untitled. I hope to write more on it while I am away.
So, here's the next installment.
Prisoner - 311
A black ocean is the sky above
Tiny lights bob what star you from
Trapped in material plane
She wants to fly and they think she's insane
But she knows what she know
Give that girl wings and that's all she wrote
Twilight zone
Twilight zone
I'm floating in the dark alone and
Is there any love out here let me know
A laser lights pinpoints the top of my dome
Then through my body
As if Scotty's beaming up a wayward soul
Mutant races in an ancient universe
Dark shadows humans rhymin' in a reggae verse
It's gone if you blink
I can see it as soon as you think it
Dancehalls crystal balls
On sidewalk malls
Psychic people outdoors reading palms
I believe that you know more
To survive the dimension if four
Oh prisoner
My pretty oh oh prisoner
Look at the way she's searching
Trapped in a world that's hurting
So bad it makes her cry
But I won't let her say good bye
Twilight zone
Twilight zone
I'm floating in the dark alone and
I'm floating in the dark alone and
Is there any love out here let me know
No way
No way
Part Seventeen
Winter - 2005
*~Max~*
For a while, it had seemed that life had settled into an uneasy rhythm. No immediate danger threatened them, and things had been quiet.
Too quiet.
A sense of expectation hung over him that he couldn't explain.
The rift had grown further between Michael and himself after their argument at Thanksgiving. He knew that Michael wanted answers. But he wasn't so sure that any of them would like the answers they would find.
Naively, he somehow had thought that things could stay normal if he pretended that it was so. It was why he hid his journal from Isabel and Michael.
He didn't even know if the Granolith still existed. With no ship to take them back, they were stuck on Earth, and there was nothing any of them could do about it.
The truth was, he wanted no part of the Granolith, or returning to a world and a people he didn't remember. Here on Earth, they were relatively safe.
He thought of Liz often, and wondered what she was doing. Was she happy? Had she found love? Was she doing everything she'd dreamed of? He hadn't seen Maria around town either, but he didn't know her mother well enough to ask after her. He supposed she'd just moved on as well, just like Liz had.
He'd dared not ask Kyle about either one of them. Above all, it wasn't safe to appear too interested. And what would he say? Does she remember me, her old lab partner, the guy who had been obsessed with her forever? Can you tell her I said hi?
No, it was best to let it lie. Tess was right.
But when he thought of her, he realized more poignantly looking at Tess that she would never measure up. She would never be to him what Liz Parker had been. He resented her, and the alien side of himself that tied him to responsibilities he had no desire to bear.
He wondered at times what it was that drew him to Liz Parker in the first place. He barely knew her, yet something in the kindness of her eyes, the softness of her smile, the smile he had seen for the very first time when he was a small child on the first day of school, had made his heart yearn to know more.
At times he'd tried to tell himself that he was infatuated with an ideal he had created in his own mind. He didn't really even know if she was anything like he imagined her to be. But something told him that if he had had the opportunity to know her, she would live up to every fantasy, every dream he had conjured in his heart.
He'd day dreamed about that for years, because dreams were safe. They weren't real. And he couldn't be real with Liz Parker. They were just too different.
******
Topolsky had remained in Roswell as a guidance counselor. They all knew she was still watching Michael, even though he'd left the school years ago. For that reason, he went out of his way to appear like everyone else. He went to work, he watched his hockey games, and he hung around with Max, but they barely spoke. The distance between them was growing, and Max didn't like it.
The town had changed since the fire. Many of the people in town were realizing what Max always knew, that the Crashdown was the heart of the little town, and its absence had changed things forever.
In February, the period of unease ended with violence.
He had underestimated the growing distance between himself and Michael. Their lack of communication had done more damage than he could have thought. In his mind, he'd thought that he was protecting he and Isabel from the worry of what lay out there in Arizona.
More and more they argued over the Granolith and leaving Roswell.
Michael had begun to suspect he was hiding things from them.
One day while he had been at work, Michael had ransacked his room and found the journal he'd been keeping of all of the alien activities in Copper Summit. He confronted Max in his bedroom and demanded that they go to Arizona.
"How could you keep this from us? Michael said furiously. "What, were you going to let us just sit here waiting for them to come and take us out?"
"Michael, they're not a threat now. They've been incapacitated," Max said.
"All the more reason to get rid of them while they're weak! How could you be so stupid Max!" he shouted.
"I'm trying to protect all of you!" Max shouted back.
"Yeah and you're doing such a great job of it too," Michael snapped.
Max felt his face redden in anger.
"Who are you to question me Michael? I don't see you over there working at the museum, trying to find anything. You've put it all on me, and I made a judgment call. I'm sorry that you don't like it!" Max retorted.
Michael turned and moved toward him with lightning speed, getting in his face.
"You do what you have to Max," he said. "Keep on hiding here, waiting for the other foot to drop, but I'm not going to sit here and do it with you."
He turned and stalked out of the room.
"Michael!" he shouted after him, the slamming of the back door signaling Michael's response.
Max immediately called Isabel on her cell and told her to get home with the jeep. Then he hung up and dialed the number Ed had left with Tess. The phone at the other end just kept ringing.
Tess and Isabel rushed into the house a few moments later.
"What happened?" Isabel asked, her voice filled with alarm.
Max told them about the journal and that Michael had found it.
"Max, why would you expect him to react any different?" Isabel said angrily. "You should have told us."
"There was nothing we could do about it!" Max answered defensively. "If I'd told you, we'd still be in this very same position. You know where Michael's headed."
"Max, it's not up to you to make all of the decisions. We deserve to know what's going on!" Isabel said.
"Look, I was wrong. I'm sorry. But we don't have time to argue about this now," he said.
Tess had watched the exchange between them in silence, and he was surprised to see that there was no anger written on her face, as there was with Isabel.
"Tess, when was the last time you spoke with Ed?" he asked.
Tess shrugged, looking at him.
"About a week ago I guess," she said. "Nothing was unusual. I don’t know where he is. He doesn't check in with me often."
"He's not picking up his phone," Max said, worried.
"That doesn't mean anything," she said. "If he's in a sensitive position, he wouldn't."
"His voice mail didn't come on either," he said, troubled.
"Maybe something's wrong with the phone. It doesn't matter. We don't have time to wait for him anyway. We're going to have to do this ourselves," she said.
"We need to go now," Max said. "We can't waste any more time."
Ten minutes later they were on the highway, Max breaking the speed limit to save time.
"I knew Michael would pull something like this," Max muttered.
"It's your own fault! You shouldn't have kept this from us! If you hadn't, we wouldn't be in this situation," Isabel said.
"This 'situation' is exactly why I didn't say anything," Max fired back. "Michael is impulsive. He always has been."
"All he's ever wanted was answers, and you had some of them, and you kept them from him. What do you expect?" Isabel retorted.
Tess turned around and snapped at her.
"What would you have done with the information, Isabel? What good would it have done if any of us knew?" Tess said angrily. "We don't have the Granolith."
"We could have at least been prepared, protected ourselves!" Isabel protested.
"Prepared for what? Nothing's happened. At least it hadn't until Michael took off. You know what would have happened as well as I do! Look what Michael has done. He's put us all in danger," Tess had answered.
"I think that Max was doing what he thought was right," Tess answered, glancing at him.
Max felt grateful that it seemed someone understood. It didn't occur to him to wonder why she wasn't angry, when she'd been so hell-bent on finding the Granolith and going back to Antar from the moment she arrived.
Tense silence fell over all of them for a few moments, and then Isabel spoke.
"Max, I'm sorry," she said, her voice barely a whisper. "God, I keep doing this. I...I just don’t know what I would do if anything happened to you or Michael. I didn't mean what I said. You've just been so distant lately, and I know you've been dealing with a lot, and part of it is because of me, because of what I said to you around Christmas. I don't want you to wind up hating me Max. We're all the four of us have. We need to talk."
Max knew she was referring to trying to push him toward Tess. He knew in her own way she was looking out for him. In spite of their arguments, he knew that she loved him, and she saw the weight he'd been carrying on his shoulders and probably thought Tess could ease some of it.
"This isn't the time to talk about this," he said, keeping his eyes trained on the road.
"Soon then," she said, and he nodded, Tess looking at him with a curious expression.
*******
The first thing they noticed when they drove into Copper Summit was the sign for the Universal Friendship League. The town appeared deserted.
As soon as they drove down the main street, Max knew something was off. He felt as if there were eyes watching him. Unseen eyes, and he sensed a menacing presence in the town. He could also sense Michael.
"Keep going," Tess said, and they drove through town without stopping.
"He's there Max. I feel him," Isabel said.
"I know," Max answered, as he pulled the jeep to the side of the road.
"What are we going to do?" Isabel asked.
"We have to go in and get him," Max said grimly.
"But we don't know how many of them there are!" Isabel said. "We could be outnumbered."
"We don’t have a choice," Tess said. "They're weak. Their husks are fragile. I can mind-warp them for a short time, but we need to find Michael first, because I can't keep up a mind-warp with more than a few people for any long period of time."
Max nodded.
"We'll wait until it gets dark, and then we'll move," he said.
*****
They soon discovered that Michael was being held in the Town Hall. As Max tried to memorize the layout of the town, he noticed strange piles of dust on the sidewalks.
"Skins," Tess whispered. "Michael must have been trying to take them out."
Max cursed Michael for his stupidity thinking that he could do this alone.
People walked through town randomly now as it grew dark, but the main area of activity appeared to be in the building in the center of town. Tess mind warped the people standing outside while Max went to have a look in the windows. He soon spotted Michael unconscious on the floor of a room in the back of the building.
He made his way back to Isabel and Tess, and they formed a plan. It was agreed that they would separate, with Isabel and Tess creating disturbances at two different ends of town.
Max would get Michael out of the building, and then Tess would start her mind-warp.
He used his powers to get in through the basement as a large explosion rocked the east-end of town, in the direction Isabel had disappeared only a few moments earlier.
As he climbed into the hole where there'd once been a window, he'd heard shouts and an army of footfalls.
He prayed Isabel had left that area.
He jumped into the dusty basement, keeping his ears trained in the darkness for any sounds or movements. When he was satisfied he was alone, he made his way across the huge storage area, counting off the windows to the basement until he was underneath the room Michael was being held captive in.
He held his hand up to the floor, manipulating the wood beams to create a hole. He pulled himself up and looked around the room, spotting Michael. He pulled himself through the hole and crawled over to Michael, scanning him with his hand to find his injuries: a head wound, a broken leg, cracked ribs.
Desperately, he tried to heal him. He'd managed to fix most of the damage to his head, and Michael started to stir, but there wasn’t time to heal the rest.
“Michael, we have to get out of here," he said urgently, and Michael groaned. Max dragged him back to the hole in the floor and eased him through it first, letting him drop to the floor, and then he followed him through.
They made it out of the building before they were spotted, Michael only semi-coherent, but their trouble had only just begun.
More of the town’s inhabitants were emerging from the buildings. Another explosion rocked the ground, and a good portion of the townspeople took off toward it.
"Come on, Michael!” Max said slapping his face. “Wake up. You’ve got to work with me here.”
Michael groaned and his eyes opened.
“They’re everywhere, all over town,” he said in a shaky voice. "I'm sorry Maxwell."
“Yeah I know,” Max answered. “Isabel and Tess are here. We’re going to get out of here.”
Michael nodded weakly.
Suddenly, a disc-shaped object seemed to rise from the southern end of town.
It was his cue. Tess had begun her mind-warp. They would be protected under the veil of her powers, at least for the time being.
“Let’s go,” he said, pulling Michael’s arm over his shoulder. Michael cried out as his ribs bumped against Max’s side.
“Sorry, it can’t be helped,” Max said, pulling him up. “I don’t have time to heal you now.”
Staggering under his weight, Max half-dragged Michael back toward the northern outskirts of town where they had hidden the jeep. Above them, an ethereal blue light pulsed in the sky, a by-product of Tess’s mindwarp.
He’d almost made it to the edge of town when the light above suddenly blinked out.
He turned quickly, seeing two of the people he now knew to be his enemies, knowing that they could now se them. He quickly aimed his hand toward them, blasting them with his energy. They were immediately thrown back to the ground, and landed remaining still.
“Good one,” Michael breathed.
“Shut up Michael,” Max muttered, and pulled him along toward the area around the corner of the last building where he had hidden the jeep.
He never saw the shot coming.
He heard a crack, and Michael’s whole body stiffened, and he whipped around, his eyes widening as his eyes fell upon the last person he’d ever expected to see.
Kathleen Topolsky was taking aim at again, and he threw up his shield in protection. Once he’d done that, he couldn’t retaliate with his own energy. He decided to just run for it. Dragging Michael, he hurried toward the building. He heard the metallic ping of a bullet hitting his shield, but he never looked back, concentrating on keeping the shield intact.
He decided to take a chance by dropping the shield to try to take Topolsky out, but she’d obviously been expecting it, ducking and rolling to avoid the green energy that barreled in her direction.
He pulled Michael around the side of the building.
“Max!” Isabel shouted, near the jeep, and he dragged Michael the last few feet toward her.
“He’s hurt. Get him out of here. I’ll get Tess and we’ll meet you at the pod chamber,” he said, breathing heavily.
“Max, I’m not leaving you!” she said desperately.
“You have to get him out of here. I’ll be fine, I promise. We’ll get one of the cars in town. Just go!” he shouted.
He pushed Michael to her, and turned away, not waiting for her argument. He took off behind the building back toward the western end of town, where Tess had last been. He heard the jeep start up and rev of the engine, and breathed a sigh of relief when he heard it take off.
Now he had to find Tess.
He heard shouts from across town and headed in that direction.
He hid in the cover of the shadows of the buildings, and heard a scream.
He looked out toward the street, seeing people scattering in panic as two armored Army trucks plowed into town, followed by two sedans.
The FBI.
Tess was caught on the other side of the road and he saw her jump into an old Buick.
He used his powers to jump-start a pick-up truck and started back toward Roswell, following Tess out of town.
Everything depended on him getting back to Roswell.
The sedans were right behind him, and the pickup truck was overtaken in no time, and one of the other sedans pulled alongside him, ramming him off the road into a ravine. The last thing he remembered seeing were the retreating taillights of the Buick Tess was driving.
*****
He awoke in a room completely swathed in white. In a panic, he jumped up, looking for a way out, but he couldn’t find any door.
“Hello?” he cried. “Is anyone there?”
He received no answer.
He paced the length of the cell, trying to find an escape, any escape.
He heard a clicking noise and turned, seeing one of the tiles slide into the wall. A high-pitched whirring noise filled the room as a metal rod shot out of the opening, and before he had a chance to react, he heard the quiet hiss sounding something like a silencer, and a burning in his chest. He looked down to see a small dart embedded in his chest. He pulled it out as he felt his vision blur. He slid to the floor as his world went black.
*****
When he woke later, his bare arms were manacled to a chair. He struggled to free himself, trying to access his powers and found he couldn’t. He looked down to find himself clad in surgical scrubs.
A hissing noise rose in the room, and he looked up to see a hidden door in the wall slide open.
His eyes widened as he saw a figure, clad in a white contamination suit. He couldn’t see the face of his captor because it was covered by a hood.
He felt his breath quicken in fear as the figure came to stand before him. Then he removed the hood, revealing the hard face of a man.
“Hello Max,” he said, unzipping the suit. He hung it on the wall and walked over to stand next to him.
“I assume you know why you’re here,” he said.
“No, I don’t,” Max said, staring at the man in fear.
“Oh come on now, don’t play stupid. It’s not only insulting me, but it’s insulting me. I know what you are. I know what you can do,” he said.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Max said in a trembling voice.
The door opened again to reveal Kathleen Topolsky.
“Here are the scans Agent Pierce,” she said, looking at Max with derision.
“Hello Max,” she said with a cold smile.
Max didn’t answer.
“Max doesn’t seem to want to cooperate, Agent Topolsky,” Pierce said.
“I want a phone call. I want to call my father,” Max said. “You have no right to hold me here.”
Pierce laughed outright.
“You can’t be serious,” he said, walking over to a shadowbox on the wall.
“Do they even know what you are Max?” he asked. He pulled films out of the envelope Topolsky had handed him, and put one of them up on the shadowbox.
“It’s amazing isn’t it Agent Topolsky? These bone scans look completely human,” he said.
“Yes,” she said, walking over to look at them. “Looking at the bone structure you wouldn’t be able to tell. But when you look at the blood cells, well that’s a whole different story.”
Pierce put up another slide, revealing the green mutated cells.
“Yes, you’re right, completely nothuman,” he said, looking at Max.
He walked over to stand beside him.
“You’re going to tell us everything we need to know Max Evans,” he said, “or I am going to make your life such a living hell you’ll wish you were dead.”
Max again struggled to free himself.
“Don’t even bother,” Topolsky said. “We’ve injected you with an inhibiting drug. Your powers are purely human...cerebral, did you know that? It’s a little something we found out back in 1947 before the specimen went and died on us. You are what we’ll be in about 1000 years from now, with the added alien cells of course. But we can’t have you out breeding amongst our kind, now can we?”
She stepped closer.
“We almost made a grave error,” she said. “All this time we were watching Michael Guerin, thinking he was what we were looking for, but it was you the whole time. We lost him today, and followed you on the off chance that you'd lead us to him.”
“Tell me, does he know what you are?” she asked.
“Michael doesn’t know anything,” Max said quickly.
Pierce laughed, leaning in until his face was almost touching Max’s.
“We’ll just have to see about that, won’t we?” Pierce said. “For now, he’s not our main concern, but we’ll be picking him up in the near future. With Congresswoman Whitaker’s insistence of the study of Cadmium X, we thought he was heading to Copper Summit to get rid of her. Everyone knew she was in town visiting her family for the weekend.”
He had no idea who Congresswoman Whitaker was.
“It was me," he said quickly. "I sent him there. He didn’t know anything. I asked him to go to Copper Summit to deliver a message from me to Congresswoman Whitaker. I thought if I had Michael deliver the letter I wrote mentioning Cadmium X, she would be anxious to see me,” he said.
“And you would have killed her if she had, wouldn’t you?” Pierce asked.
Max didn’t answer.
“In the meantime, you almost got your friend killed. The townspeople are very protective of the Congresswoman. She must not have liked the tone of your “message”,” Pierce said.
“It doesn’t matter now anyway. She knows you’re here and what you are,” he said, “and we’ve been given license to do what we need to,” he said, and Topolsky smiled.
“Now, we can do this the easy way or the hard way. It’s up to you,” he said.
“Get the techs in here,” he ordered Topolsky.
She pressed a button on the wall, and two men came into the room with syringes.
Max struggled against them as the injected him.
Pierce’s laughter echoed in his ears as his vision blurred into blackness.
*********
They knew what he was, and he was going to die in this compound.
When he woke, he was in another room.
He had been taken to an observation room and locked up. The lights glared against the white tiled walls, washing everything out around him.
Pierce and Topolsky had left him alone in the room for a while shackled to the chair.
He knew they meant to intensify the level of fear he was already experiencing.
The drugs were almost overpowering in their intensity. The room spun crazily as he lay there, his heart pounding in his chest, not knowing what to expect.
Finally Pierce had made his appearance. He started firing questions at him about the crash, about his abilities. His voice seemed to pound into Max’s head as he shouted at him, threatening him.
“Max!” he yelled in his ear. “You will tell me what your abilities are. How do they work? How does the shield work? Where does the energy stem from? How do you control it?”
Max didn’t answer, his head lolling on his neck.
“This isn’t working, wake him up!” he yelled at the technicians, and Max found himself being submerged in a tub of ice water. He screamed in pain as the burning cold hit his nerve endings. He felt his head submerged under the water and the ice-cold liquid fill his mouth, washing into his throat. He choked horribly as he was yanked from the water and thrown back in the chair.
“I’m losing my patience with you Max,” Pierce grated.
“Try the electrodes,” he said, and a band was placed around Max’s head.
“Are you ready to talk yet?” Pierce spat at him.
Max just glared at him fearfully.
“Fine,” he said, turning to the technicians. “Turn it up.”
Max howled as he felt white-hot heat fill his head.
********
He must have passed out for awhile. When he came to, Pierce was standing over him where he lie prone, strapped to a table.
“Max, you’re running out of chances,” he said, pulling an object from his pocket.
“You know what this is. We found it with the other in 1947,” he said.
Max stared at the silver orb Pierce held in front of his face. Into it was carved a blue symbol. He'd never seen the orb before, but recognized the symbol from the book Tess had shown him.
“I don’t know,” Max said in a shaky voice. “I’ve never seen it before.”
“Don’t lie to me!” Pierce shouted, slamming his hand against the table.
“I can’t tell you what I don’t know!” Max practically yelled.
“I don’t believe you,” Pierce growled.
“I need the surgeons,” he shouted at the door, and two men appeared, wheeling in metal trays. They stopped alongside of him.
“This man will hurt you,” he said pointing to the man on his left.
“This man will help you,” he said, pointing to the one on the right.
“It’s up to you,” he said with a cruel smile.
“Begin,” he said as he nodded at the man on the left, and the man picked up a scalpel pushing down on Max’s neck as he cut into the flesh of his chest.
Max screamed as the blade sliced into his skin, before he brought the blade up in front of Max’s eyes, now covered in blood.
“Are we ready to talk yet?” Pierce asked, with a gleeful smile.
“You’re a monster,” Max gasped, his breath hitching.
He laughed, shaking his head. "No, I'm saving my planet from a parasite. A dangerous parasite."
“Proceed,” he said to the man, and the man brought the blade down again.
For a moment, he wasn’t there. He took his mind somewhere else, to the people he loved, Michael, Isabel and his parents. He prayed that this wouldn’t touch them, that they would be safe.
This was what could happen to the people he loved. He was thankful he didn’t take those steps toward Liz, in the cemetery, for this is what could have happened to her. He wouldn’t have been able to bear it if the one person he always thought of when it seemed everything else in his life was falling apart, had been subjected to this.
Tess had been right. If he'd been bold, if he'd approached her, pursued her, there was a great possibility that she would have wound up like this.
He could bear all the pain in the world if the people he loved were safe. He would die for their safety.
The pain sliced through the haze and he screamed again, his mind going blank from sheer pain.
There were large blank spots in his mind, between the time he blacked out, and the moment when Tess rescued him.
He felt her shaking him frantically, calling out his name. He almost didn’t believe it, but when he opened her eyes, she was there.
“Come on Max,” she said urgently. “I can’t hold the mind-warp for much longer.”
Max looked over to see Pierce staring, amazed, at thin air.
She grabbed the real orb, sitting on the metal tray, and then helped him from the gurney he lay on.
They’d made it to the entrance before the mind-warp snapped, and they heard the shouts of the Agents behind them.
“Get them!” Pierce shouted, and they heard the rapid footfalls behind them. Tess fired a ball of energy behind her, giving them the few seconds they needed to get to the jeep outside the gate.
She shoved him into the passenger seat.
"Where are Isabel? Michael?" he'd gasped, shivering.
"Safe," she replied, as she threw the jeep into gear and propelled it into the night.
*********
Check back Tuesday for the next part.
I'll give you the bad news first. There's no happy stuff in the near future. I know Max's POV is sort of depressing, but that's the way it wrote itself.
Max's journey in this timeline is not easy. It's without Liz for the most part, and he has to deal with things alone, which isn't easy for him either.
I'll be posting the next part a little early, Tuesday, and then I am away until the following Wednesday. Realistically, the next part probably after Tuesday won't be up until the following Thursday.
Now, the good news. There is light at the end of this tunnel, and I've decided to write a separate companion piece to this fic instead of an epilogue, because I don't think one part, even a long one is going to cover what I want to, and give you all the payoff I know you want at the end of the story. It won't be anywhere near as long as this, but I think it deserves its own title.
I've basically finished the revamp of the end of Serendipity (except for one scene, which I am working on now), and I am already one part into writing the companion piece. As of yet, it's untitled. I hope to write more on it while I am away.
So, here's the next installment.
Prisoner - 311
A black ocean is the sky above
Tiny lights bob what star you from
Trapped in material plane
She wants to fly and they think she's insane
But she knows what she know
Give that girl wings and that's all she wrote
Twilight zone
Twilight zone
I'm floating in the dark alone and
Is there any love out here let me know
A laser lights pinpoints the top of my dome
Then through my body
As if Scotty's beaming up a wayward soul
Mutant races in an ancient universe
Dark shadows humans rhymin' in a reggae verse
It's gone if you blink
I can see it as soon as you think it
Dancehalls crystal balls
On sidewalk malls
Psychic people outdoors reading palms
I believe that you know more
To survive the dimension if four
Oh prisoner
My pretty oh oh prisoner
Look at the way she's searching
Trapped in a world that's hurting
So bad it makes her cry
But I won't let her say good bye
Twilight zone
Twilight zone
I'm floating in the dark alone and
I'm floating in the dark alone and
Is there any love out here let me know
No way
No way
Part Seventeen
Winter - 2005
*~Max~*
For a while, it had seemed that life had settled into an uneasy rhythm. No immediate danger threatened them, and things had been quiet.
Too quiet.
A sense of expectation hung over him that he couldn't explain.
The rift had grown further between Michael and himself after their argument at Thanksgiving. He knew that Michael wanted answers. But he wasn't so sure that any of them would like the answers they would find.
Naively, he somehow had thought that things could stay normal if he pretended that it was so. It was why he hid his journal from Isabel and Michael.
He didn't even know if the Granolith still existed. With no ship to take them back, they were stuck on Earth, and there was nothing any of them could do about it.
The truth was, he wanted no part of the Granolith, or returning to a world and a people he didn't remember. Here on Earth, they were relatively safe.
He thought of Liz often, and wondered what she was doing. Was she happy? Had she found love? Was she doing everything she'd dreamed of? He hadn't seen Maria around town either, but he didn't know her mother well enough to ask after her. He supposed she'd just moved on as well, just like Liz had.
He'd dared not ask Kyle about either one of them. Above all, it wasn't safe to appear too interested. And what would he say? Does she remember me, her old lab partner, the guy who had been obsessed with her forever? Can you tell her I said hi?
No, it was best to let it lie. Tess was right.
But when he thought of her, he realized more poignantly looking at Tess that she would never measure up. She would never be to him what Liz Parker had been. He resented her, and the alien side of himself that tied him to responsibilities he had no desire to bear.
He wondered at times what it was that drew him to Liz Parker in the first place. He barely knew her, yet something in the kindness of her eyes, the softness of her smile, the smile he had seen for the very first time when he was a small child on the first day of school, had made his heart yearn to know more.
At times he'd tried to tell himself that he was infatuated with an ideal he had created in his own mind. He didn't really even know if she was anything like he imagined her to be. But something told him that if he had had the opportunity to know her, she would live up to every fantasy, every dream he had conjured in his heart.
He'd day dreamed about that for years, because dreams were safe. They weren't real. And he couldn't be real with Liz Parker. They were just too different.
******
Topolsky had remained in Roswell as a guidance counselor. They all knew she was still watching Michael, even though he'd left the school years ago. For that reason, he went out of his way to appear like everyone else. He went to work, he watched his hockey games, and he hung around with Max, but they barely spoke. The distance between them was growing, and Max didn't like it.
The town had changed since the fire. Many of the people in town were realizing what Max always knew, that the Crashdown was the heart of the little town, and its absence had changed things forever.
In February, the period of unease ended with violence.
He had underestimated the growing distance between himself and Michael. Their lack of communication had done more damage than he could have thought. In his mind, he'd thought that he was protecting he and Isabel from the worry of what lay out there in Arizona.
More and more they argued over the Granolith and leaving Roswell.
Michael had begun to suspect he was hiding things from them.
One day while he had been at work, Michael had ransacked his room and found the journal he'd been keeping of all of the alien activities in Copper Summit. He confronted Max in his bedroom and demanded that they go to Arizona.
"How could you keep this from us? Michael said furiously. "What, were you going to let us just sit here waiting for them to come and take us out?"
"Michael, they're not a threat now. They've been incapacitated," Max said.
"All the more reason to get rid of them while they're weak! How could you be so stupid Max!" he shouted.
"I'm trying to protect all of you!" Max shouted back.
"Yeah and you're doing such a great job of it too," Michael snapped.
Max felt his face redden in anger.
"Who are you to question me Michael? I don't see you over there working at the museum, trying to find anything. You've put it all on me, and I made a judgment call. I'm sorry that you don't like it!" Max retorted.
Michael turned and moved toward him with lightning speed, getting in his face.
"You do what you have to Max," he said. "Keep on hiding here, waiting for the other foot to drop, but I'm not going to sit here and do it with you."
He turned and stalked out of the room.
"Michael!" he shouted after him, the slamming of the back door signaling Michael's response.
Max immediately called Isabel on her cell and told her to get home with the jeep. Then he hung up and dialed the number Ed had left with Tess. The phone at the other end just kept ringing.
Tess and Isabel rushed into the house a few moments later.
"What happened?" Isabel asked, her voice filled with alarm.
Max told them about the journal and that Michael had found it.
"Max, why would you expect him to react any different?" Isabel said angrily. "You should have told us."
"There was nothing we could do about it!" Max answered defensively. "If I'd told you, we'd still be in this very same position. You know where Michael's headed."
"Max, it's not up to you to make all of the decisions. We deserve to know what's going on!" Isabel said.
"Look, I was wrong. I'm sorry. But we don't have time to argue about this now," he said.
Tess had watched the exchange between them in silence, and he was surprised to see that there was no anger written on her face, as there was with Isabel.
"Tess, when was the last time you spoke with Ed?" he asked.
Tess shrugged, looking at him.
"About a week ago I guess," she said. "Nothing was unusual. I don’t know where he is. He doesn't check in with me often."
"He's not picking up his phone," Max said, worried.
"That doesn't mean anything," she said. "If he's in a sensitive position, he wouldn't."
"His voice mail didn't come on either," he said, troubled.
"Maybe something's wrong with the phone. It doesn't matter. We don't have time to wait for him anyway. We're going to have to do this ourselves," she said.
"We need to go now," Max said. "We can't waste any more time."
Ten minutes later they were on the highway, Max breaking the speed limit to save time.
"I knew Michael would pull something like this," Max muttered.
"It's your own fault! You shouldn't have kept this from us! If you hadn't, we wouldn't be in this situation," Isabel said.
"This 'situation' is exactly why I didn't say anything," Max fired back. "Michael is impulsive. He always has been."
"All he's ever wanted was answers, and you had some of them, and you kept them from him. What do you expect?" Isabel retorted.
Tess turned around and snapped at her.
"What would you have done with the information, Isabel? What good would it have done if any of us knew?" Tess said angrily. "We don't have the Granolith."
"We could have at least been prepared, protected ourselves!" Isabel protested.
"Prepared for what? Nothing's happened. At least it hadn't until Michael took off. You know what would have happened as well as I do! Look what Michael has done. He's put us all in danger," Tess had answered.
"I think that Max was doing what he thought was right," Tess answered, glancing at him.
Max felt grateful that it seemed someone understood. It didn't occur to him to wonder why she wasn't angry, when she'd been so hell-bent on finding the Granolith and going back to Antar from the moment she arrived.
Tense silence fell over all of them for a few moments, and then Isabel spoke.
"Max, I'm sorry," she said, her voice barely a whisper. "God, I keep doing this. I...I just don’t know what I would do if anything happened to you or Michael. I didn't mean what I said. You've just been so distant lately, and I know you've been dealing with a lot, and part of it is because of me, because of what I said to you around Christmas. I don't want you to wind up hating me Max. We're all the four of us have. We need to talk."
Max knew she was referring to trying to push him toward Tess. He knew in her own way she was looking out for him. In spite of their arguments, he knew that she loved him, and she saw the weight he'd been carrying on his shoulders and probably thought Tess could ease some of it.
"This isn't the time to talk about this," he said, keeping his eyes trained on the road.
"Soon then," she said, and he nodded, Tess looking at him with a curious expression.
*******
The first thing they noticed when they drove into Copper Summit was the sign for the Universal Friendship League. The town appeared deserted.
As soon as they drove down the main street, Max knew something was off. He felt as if there were eyes watching him. Unseen eyes, and he sensed a menacing presence in the town. He could also sense Michael.
"Keep going," Tess said, and they drove through town without stopping.
"He's there Max. I feel him," Isabel said.
"I know," Max answered, as he pulled the jeep to the side of the road.
"What are we going to do?" Isabel asked.
"We have to go in and get him," Max said grimly.
"But we don't know how many of them there are!" Isabel said. "We could be outnumbered."
"We don’t have a choice," Tess said. "They're weak. Their husks are fragile. I can mind-warp them for a short time, but we need to find Michael first, because I can't keep up a mind-warp with more than a few people for any long period of time."
Max nodded.
"We'll wait until it gets dark, and then we'll move," he said.
*****
They soon discovered that Michael was being held in the Town Hall. As Max tried to memorize the layout of the town, he noticed strange piles of dust on the sidewalks.
"Skins," Tess whispered. "Michael must have been trying to take them out."
Max cursed Michael for his stupidity thinking that he could do this alone.
People walked through town randomly now as it grew dark, but the main area of activity appeared to be in the building in the center of town. Tess mind warped the people standing outside while Max went to have a look in the windows. He soon spotted Michael unconscious on the floor of a room in the back of the building.
He made his way back to Isabel and Tess, and they formed a plan. It was agreed that they would separate, with Isabel and Tess creating disturbances at two different ends of town.
Max would get Michael out of the building, and then Tess would start her mind-warp.
He used his powers to get in through the basement as a large explosion rocked the east-end of town, in the direction Isabel had disappeared only a few moments earlier.
As he climbed into the hole where there'd once been a window, he'd heard shouts and an army of footfalls.
He prayed Isabel had left that area.
He jumped into the dusty basement, keeping his ears trained in the darkness for any sounds or movements. When he was satisfied he was alone, he made his way across the huge storage area, counting off the windows to the basement until he was underneath the room Michael was being held captive in.
He held his hand up to the floor, manipulating the wood beams to create a hole. He pulled himself up and looked around the room, spotting Michael. He pulled himself through the hole and crawled over to Michael, scanning him with his hand to find his injuries: a head wound, a broken leg, cracked ribs.
Desperately, he tried to heal him. He'd managed to fix most of the damage to his head, and Michael started to stir, but there wasn’t time to heal the rest.
“Michael, we have to get out of here," he said urgently, and Michael groaned. Max dragged him back to the hole in the floor and eased him through it first, letting him drop to the floor, and then he followed him through.
They made it out of the building before they were spotted, Michael only semi-coherent, but their trouble had only just begun.
More of the town’s inhabitants were emerging from the buildings. Another explosion rocked the ground, and a good portion of the townspeople took off toward it.
"Come on, Michael!” Max said slapping his face. “Wake up. You’ve got to work with me here.”
Michael groaned and his eyes opened.
“They’re everywhere, all over town,” he said in a shaky voice. "I'm sorry Maxwell."
“Yeah I know,” Max answered. “Isabel and Tess are here. We’re going to get out of here.”
Michael nodded weakly.
Suddenly, a disc-shaped object seemed to rise from the southern end of town.
It was his cue. Tess had begun her mind-warp. They would be protected under the veil of her powers, at least for the time being.
“Let’s go,” he said, pulling Michael’s arm over his shoulder. Michael cried out as his ribs bumped against Max’s side.
“Sorry, it can’t be helped,” Max said, pulling him up. “I don’t have time to heal you now.”
Staggering under his weight, Max half-dragged Michael back toward the northern outskirts of town where they had hidden the jeep. Above them, an ethereal blue light pulsed in the sky, a by-product of Tess’s mindwarp.
He’d almost made it to the edge of town when the light above suddenly blinked out.
He turned quickly, seeing two of the people he now knew to be his enemies, knowing that they could now se them. He quickly aimed his hand toward them, blasting them with his energy. They were immediately thrown back to the ground, and landed remaining still.
“Good one,” Michael breathed.
“Shut up Michael,” Max muttered, and pulled him along toward the area around the corner of the last building where he had hidden the jeep.
He never saw the shot coming.
He heard a crack, and Michael’s whole body stiffened, and he whipped around, his eyes widening as his eyes fell upon the last person he’d ever expected to see.
Kathleen Topolsky was taking aim at again, and he threw up his shield in protection. Once he’d done that, he couldn’t retaliate with his own energy. He decided to just run for it. Dragging Michael, he hurried toward the building. He heard the metallic ping of a bullet hitting his shield, but he never looked back, concentrating on keeping the shield intact.
He decided to take a chance by dropping the shield to try to take Topolsky out, but she’d obviously been expecting it, ducking and rolling to avoid the green energy that barreled in her direction.
He pulled Michael around the side of the building.
“Max!” Isabel shouted, near the jeep, and he dragged Michael the last few feet toward her.
“He’s hurt. Get him out of here. I’ll get Tess and we’ll meet you at the pod chamber,” he said, breathing heavily.
“Max, I’m not leaving you!” she said desperately.
“You have to get him out of here. I’ll be fine, I promise. We’ll get one of the cars in town. Just go!” he shouted.
He pushed Michael to her, and turned away, not waiting for her argument. He took off behind the building back toward the western end of town, where Tess had last been. He heard the jeep start up and rev of the engine, and breathed a sigh of relief when he heard it take off.
Now he had to find Tess.
He heard shouts from across town and headed in that direction.
He hid in the cover of the shadows of the buildings, and heard a scream.
He looked out toward the street, seeing people scattering in panic as two armored Army trucks plowed into town, followed by two sedans.
The FBI.
Tess was caught on the other side of the road and he saw her jump into an old Buick.
He used his powers to jump-start a pick-up truck and started back toward Roswell, following Tess out of town.
Everything depended on him getting back to Roswell.
The sedans were right behind him, and the pickup truck was overtaken in no time, and one of the other sedans pulled alongside him, ramming him off the road into a ravine. The last thing he remembered seeing were the retreating taillights of the Buick Tess was driving.
*****
He awoke in a room completely swathed in white. In a panic, he jumped up, looking for a way out, but he couldn’t find any door.
“Hello?” he cried. “Is anyone there?”
He received no answer.
He paced the length of the cell, trying to find an escape, any escape.
He heard a clicking noise and turned, seeing one of the tiles slide into the wall. A high-pitched whirring noise filled the room as a metal rod shot out of the opening, and before he had a chance to react, he heard the quiet hiss sounding something like a silencer, and a burning in his chest. He looked down to see a small dart embedded in his chest. He pulled it out as he felt his vision blur. He slid to the floor as his world went black.
*****
When he woke later, his bare arms were manacled to a chair. He struggled to free himself, trying to access his powers and found he couldn’t. He looked down to find himself clad in surgical scrubs.
A hissing noise rose in the room, and he looked up to see a hidden door in the wall slide open.
His eyes widened as he saw a figure, clad in a white contamination suit. He couldn’t see the face of his captor because it was covered by a hood.
He felt his breath quicken in fear as the figure came to stand before him. Then he removed the hood, revealing the hard face of a man.
“Hello Max,” he said, unzipping the suit. He hung it on the wall and walked over to stand next to him.
“I assume you know why you’re here,” he said.
“No, I don’t,” Max said, staring at the man in fear.
“Oh come on now, don’t play stupid. It’s not only insulting me, but it’s insulting me. I know what you are. I know what you can do,” he said.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Max said in a trembling voice.
The door opened again to reveal Kathleen Topolsky.
“Here are the scans Agent Pierce,” she said, looking at Max with derision.
“Hello Max,” she said with a cold smile.
Max didn’t answer.
“Max doesn’t seem to want to cooperate, Agent Topolsky,” Pierce said.
“I want a phone call. I want to call my father,” Max said. “You have no right to hold me here.”
Pierce laughed outright.
“You can’t be serious,” he said, walking over to a shadowbox on the wall.
“Do they even know what you are Max?” he asked. He pulled films out of the envelope Topolsky had handed him, and put one of them up on the shadowbox.
“It’s amazing isn’t it Agent Topolsky? These bone scans look completely human,” he said.
“Yes,” she said, walking over to look at them. “Looking at the bone structure you wouldn’t be able to tell. But when you look at the blood cells, well that’s a whole different story.”
Pierce put up another slide, revealing the green mutated cells.
“Yes, you’re right, completely nothuman,” he said, looking at Max.
He walked over to stand beside him.
“You’re going to tell us everything we need to know Max Evans,” he said, “or I am going to make your life such a living hell you’ll wish you were dead.”
Max again struggled to free himself.
“Don’t even bother,” Topolsky said. “We’ve injected you with an inhibiting drug. Your powers are purely human...cerebral, did you know that? It’s a little something we found out back in 1947 before the specimen went and died on us. You are what we’ll be in about 1000 years from now, with the added alien cells of course. But we can’t have you out breeding amongst our kind, now can we?”
She stepped closer.
“We almost made a grave error,” she said. “All this time we were watching Michael Guerin, thinking he was what we were looking for, but it was you the whole time. We lost him today, and followed you on the off chance that you'd lead us to him.”
“Tell me, does he know what you are?” she asked.
“Michael doesn’t know anything,” Max said quickly.
Pierce laughed, leaning in until his face was almost touching Max’s.
“We’ll just have to see about that, won’t we?” Pierce said. “For now, he’s not our main concern, but we’ll be picking him up in the near future. With Congresswoman Whitaker’s insistence of the study of Cadmium X, we thought he was heading to Copper Summit to get rid of her. Everyone knew she was in town visiting her family for the weekend.”
He had no idea who Congresswoman Whitaker was.
“It was me," he said quickly. "I sent him there. He didn’t know anything. I asked him to go to Copper Summit to deliver a message from me to Congresswoman Whitaker. I thought if I had Michael deliver the letter I wrote mentioning Cadmium X, she would be anxious to see me,” he said.
“And you would have killed her if she had, wouldn’t you?” Pierce asked.
Max didn’t answer.
“In the meantime, you almost got your friend killed. The townspeople are very protective of the Congresswoman. She must not have liked the tone of your “message”,” Pierce said.
“It doesn’t matter now anyway. She knows you’re here and what you are,” he said, “and we’ve been given license to do what we need to,” he said, and Topolsky smiled.
“Now, we can do this the easy way or the hard way. It’s up to you,” he said.
“Get the techs in here,” he ordered Topolsky.
She pressed a button on the wall, and two men came into the room with syringes.
Max struggled against them as the injected him.
Pierce’s laughter echoed in his ears as his vision blurred into blackness.
*********
They knew what he was, and he was going to die in this compound.
When he woke, he was in another room.
He had been taken to an observation room and locked up. The lights glared against the white tiled walls, washing everything out around him.
Pierce and Topolsky had left him alone in the room for a while shackled to the chair.
He knew they meant to intensify the level of fear he was already experiencing.
The drugs were almost overpowering in their intensity. The room spun crazily as he lay there, his heart pounding in his chest, not knowing what to expect.
Finally Pierce had made his appearance. He started firing questions at him about the crash, about his abilities. His voice seemed to pound into Max’s head as he shouted at him, threatening him.
“Max!” he yelled in his ear. “You will tell me what your abilities are. How do they work? How does the shield work? Where does the energy stem from? How do you control it?”
Max didn’t answer, his head lolling on his neck.
“This isn’t working, wake him up!” he yelled at the technicians, and Max found himself being submerged in a tub of ice water. He screamed in pain as the burning cold hit his nerve endings. He felt his head submerged under the water and the ice-cold liquid fill his mouth, washing into his throat. He choked horribly as he was yanked from the water and thrown back in the chair.
“I’m losing my patience with you Max,” Pierce grated.
“Try the electrodes,” he said, and a band was placed around Max’s head.
“Are you ready to talk yet?” Pierce spat at him.
Max just glared at him fearfully.
“Fine,” he said, turning to the technicians. “Turn it up.”
Max howled as he felt white-hot heat fill his head.
********
He must have passed out for awhile. When he came to, Pierce was standing over him where he lie prone, strapped to a table.
“Max, you’re running out of chances,” he said, pulling an object from his pocket.
“You know what this is. We found it with the other in 1947,” he said.
Max stared at the silver orb Pierce held in front of his face. Into it was carved a blue symbol. He'd never seen the orb before, but recognized the symbol from the book Tess had shown him.
“I don’t know,” Max said in a shaky voice. “I’ve never seen it before.”
“Don’t lie to me!” Pierce shouted, slamming his hand against the table.
“I can’t tell you what I don’t know!” Max practically yelled.
“I don’t believe you,” Pierce growled.
“I need the surgeons,” he shouted at the door, and two men appeared, wheeling in metal trays. They stopped alongside of him.
“This man will hurt you,” he said pointing to the man on his left.
“This man will help you,” he said, pointing to the one on the right.
“It’s up to you,” he said with a cruel smile.
“Begin,” he said as he nodded at the man on the left, and the man picked up a scalpel pushing down on Max’s neck as he cut into the flesh of his chest.
Max screamed as the blade sliced into his skin, before he brought the blade up in front of Max’s eyes, now covered in blood.
“Are we ready to talk yet?” Pierce asked, with a gleeful smile.
“You’re a monster,” Max gasped, his breath hitching.
He laughed, shaking his head. "No, I'm saving my planet from a parasite. A dangerous parasite."
“Proceed,” he said to the man, and the man brought the blade down again.
For a moment, he wasn’t there. He took his mind somewhere else, to the people he loved, Michael, Isabel and his parents. He prayed that this wouldn’t touch them, that they would be safe.
This was what could happen to the people he loved. He was thankful he didn’t take those steps toward Liz, in the cemetery, for this is what could have happened to her. He wouldn’t have been able to bear it if the one person he always thought of when it seemed everything else in his life was falling apart, had been subjected to this.
Tess had been right. If he'd been bold, if he'd approached her, pursued her, there was a great possibility that she would have wound up like this.
He could bear all the pain in the world if the people he loved were safe. He would die for their safety.
The pain sliced through the haze and he screamed again, his mind going blank from sheer pain.
There were large blank spots in his mind, between the time he blacked out, and the moment when Tess rescued him.
He felt her shaking him frantically, calling out his name. He almost didn’t believe it, but when he opened her eyes, she was there.
“Come on Max,” she said urgently. “I can’t hold the mind-warp for much longer.”
Max looked over to see Pierce staring, amazed, at thin air.
She grabbed the real orb, sitting on the metal tray, and then helped him from the gurney he lay on.
They’d made it to the entrance before the mind-warp snapped, and they heard the shouts of the Agents behind them.
“Get them!” Pierce shouted, and they heard the rapid footfalls behind them. Tess fired a ball of energy behind her, giving them the few seconds they needed to get to the jeep outside the gate.
She shoved him into the passenger seat.
"Where are Isabel? Michael?" he'd gasped, shivering.
"Safe," she replied, as she threw the jeep into gear and propelled it into the night.
*********
Check back Tuesday for the next part.
Last edited by Majesty on Sun Oct 19, 2003 7:51 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Hi everyone,
So I wound up completely rewriting this part. Of course, the only one who will notice is Elizabeth. I think it flows much better this way. The original was weak.
This will be the last part I will post until late next week. I am going to be out of town until late Wednesday and although there's a chance I will post the next installment on Thursday, I don't want to promise because I will be playing catch-up at work and I don't know how much time I'll have for the net. If not, look for it on Friday. I'll still post a part the following Sunday as well.
Hope everyone has a wonderful week.
Where The River Goes – Stone Temple Pilots
Yeah, I could hide in the calm of the eye of the storm
And never blow away
Well, I’m a young man with a knife to my back
Some things never seem to change
Nowhere to run to, nowhere to hide
Sing the song or keep it inside
Bought the farm, but the farmer done died
Sing that song, sing that song inside
I wish I could live in the dream
That I fly on the tarred & freathered wings
Well, I’m losing a game of reality
Dice where the dealer never ever pays
Nowhere to run to, nowhere to hide
Sing the song or keep it inside
Bought the farm, but the farmer done died
Sing that song, sing that song inside
I wanna be as big as a mountain
I wanna fly as high as the sun
I wanna know what the rent’s like in heaven
I wanna know where the river goes
Yeah, I could hide in the calm of the eye of the storm
And never blow away
Well, I’m a young man with a knife to my back
Some things never seen to change
Nowhere to run to, nowhere to hide
Sing the song or keep it inside
Bought the farm, but the farmer done died
Sing that song, sing that song inside
I wanna be as big as a mountain
I wanna fly as high as the sun
I wanna know what the rent’s like in heaven
I wanna know where the river goes
If I was stronger
I could be a mountain range
If night was longer
Could I escape the day?
If I was stronger
I could be a mountain range
If night was longer
Could I escape the day?
Nowhere to run to, nowhere to hide
Sing the song or keep it inside
Bought the farm, but the farmer done died
Sing that song, sing that song inside
I wanna be as big as a mountain
I wanna fly as high as the sun
I wanna know what the rent’s like in heaven
I wanna know where the river...
I wanna be as big as a mountain
I wanna fly as high as the sun
I wanna know what the rent’s like in heaven
I wanna know where the river goes
Where the river goes
Where the river goes
Where the river, yeah
Where the river
Where the river
Where the river
Where the river
Where the river goes
Where the river goes
Part Eighteen
Winter – 2005
*~Max~*
Max slumped back into the seat as Tess pushed the jeep to its limit as soon as she reached the highway.
"We need to get Michael and Isabel," he said.
She shook her head.
"Not now. They're safe for the moment, but there are other things to worry about. I'll tell you everything, but we need to take care of them first," she said, motioning toward the cars following them.
Tess lured them out into the desert, using her energy to increase the jeep's speed beyond its capabilities. She kept just enough distance between them to make it seem as if the chase were actually that, a chase.
Abruptly, she pulled the jeep over and got out, eerily calm. Pierce and Topolsky's sedan, with two other agents in the backseat, screeched to a stop behind it. The four agents quickly opened the door and took cover behind the doors of the sedan, but they were no match for Tess's power. They never even got off a shot before she threw her immense energy at the sedan, knocking off the two agents first. Topolsky tried to run, getting off a few shots before Tess took her down.
Pierce made a rush toward her, but she threw up her shield, stopping the bullets in mid-air before sending a powerful surge back at him, throwing him to the ground.
Max stumbled out of the jeep toward Tess and the bodies that lay on in the dust on the side of the road.
She stood stoically between Pierce and Topolsky with a look of distaste.
Max stopped and tried to contain the emotions that welled in his heart. Hate, horror, fear, regret. He looked at the animal that had tortured him, now lying still, too still. But as much as he had hated him, he couldn't have killed him. Tess had done it without compunction.
He turned his head toward her.
"Is this what we're to become? Murderers?" he asked, bitterly.
"We don't have time for this now," she snapped. "Help me move them."
Though his heart was straining with the gravity of what she'd done, he helped her to stow their bodies in the sedan. She told him to get into the car, and he didn't argue, emotionally and physically exhausted from all that happened.
In the side-view mirror, he watched her make a telephone call, but at that moment, he didn't care whom it was that she was talking to. She got into the car, and they left the jeep and the other sedan at the side of the road.
Max fought to rein in his emotions. He'd experienced more horror than he was ready to deal with while at the Eagle Rock facility, but seeing Pierce dead didn't make any of it any better.
"I don't know what you're so upset about," she said. "He would have killed you without a second thought, after he tortured and prodded you some more."
He knew what she said was true, but it didn’t make any of it better. Tess killing Pierce and Topolsky had only proved the agent’s point. They were monsters.
His thoughts turned to Michael. After Michael had killed Hank, he hated himself. Though Hank had beaten him, he tortured himself for months after his death over what he had done.
Yet it seemed that it didn't bother Tess in the least, and that disturbed him more than anything else. How could she be so cold, so unlike them in so many ways?
"What makes us any better than them? Acting like them. Monsters. Killing machines," he said in a dull voice.
Tess made a face.
"Would you rather end up a pincushion for the government?" she asked in derision.
"Where is Ed? Didn't you even try to call him?" he asked. "He could have helped. They didn’t have to die."
"Would you just forget about Ed?" she grated. "He wasn't there when we needed him. And even if he were, do you really think any of it would have wound up differently? You really are naïve Max."
Max shook his head, feeling another bout of shivers rage through his body.
She glanced at him.
"Don't look at me like I'm the monster. I saved your life," she said.
He looked away from her.
"I give up," she muttered under her breath. "Thank God this is almost over."
He didn't even care to question what she meant by that.
The rest of the drive was silent until they reached the rocks.
Leaving the car at the bottom, they made the climb to the chamber.
Max was still weak. He could feel the drugs wearing off, but not enough to allow him to heal his battered body.
A two-inch long incision ran down the center of his chest, and he could feel the twinge of the burns where electrodes had been placed on various parts of his body. Already, the crook of his arm was bruising from where they had injected him with a multitude of drugs, and taken blood. Every muscle and bone ached, and there was nothing he could do about it.
Tess helped him into the chamber, and settled him on the floor.
“Time has run out, Max,” she said in a flat tone. “As much as it's been entertaining, we can't afford to play these games anymore.”
“We need to try Ed again," he insisted wearily. "He can help."
“Ed is dead!” she said in a low voice.
Max was momentarily stunned.
"What...how?" he asked.
“He was killed on orders from one of the planets in our solar system,” she said. "I didn't want to say anything until I knew for sure, but now I am. There's a lot you don’t know, Max."
He looked at her in shock.
"Don’t look so surprised,” she said with a smirk. “If this surprised you, well then you have no idea what you’re in for.”
“You’re no longer safe here. Neither am I, so this is what is going to happen. We’re leaving tonight, for Antar,” she said, keeping her eyes trained on the entrance to the chamber.
He hadn't been sure he'd heard her correctly.
“We can’t leave,” Max said. “We have no way to do that.”
“Actually...we do,” she said.
Jus then, the rock wall of the chamber opened, and he gasped as he saw Isabel and Michael come in.
Only it couldn't have been them, for this Michael had a mohawk and piercings, and Isabel had shorn her hair off and was wearing combat clothes and tattoos.
"Isabel?" he said, eyes widening in disbelief.
A harsh chuckle erupted from the girl's mouth as she snapped her gum.
"No, thank fuckin' God," she said, rolling her eyes.
"What the hell is going on?" Max said, as he stared at them.
"They're part of the second set," Tess said, moving to stand with them.
"Meet Lonnie and Rath," she said, crossing her arms over her chest.
"Tess, explain. I want some answers now," Max grated, as he felt the dupes' eyes fix on him in disdain.
"Fuck Tess, this one really is a loser," Lonnie said, glaring at him, sizing him up. "Now I see why they wanted Zan. He's a fuckin' chump."
Rath pursed his lips in amusement, kicking a stone with his heavy boot.
"Yo, this bitch ain't gonna make it five minutes. They'll eat him alive," he added derisively.
"Look, leave him alone. We don't have a choice!" Tess snapped.
"I'm not going anywhere," Max answered, standing up, gingerly, feeling the burning sting of the incision on his chest. "Not until you tell me what's going on, and then we'll discuss it with Michael and Isabel."
Tess whipped around to face him.
"Max, let me be blunt. If you don’t cooperate, they’re going to die," Tess said. "We have the four square, and you have the seal. That is what the Alliance will be looking for."
"What are you talking about? What Alliance?" he asked confused.
"The Interplanetary Alliance. The five planets in our galaxy," she answered. "Khivar has control over our planet and his, and the Alliance will stop at nothing to make things go their way, including killing your sister and Michael if we don't play along. We've already agreed to their preliminary terms."
"What terms?" he asked.
As he spoke, The chamber wall opened yet again, admitting another figure.
When Brody moved into the chamber, Max stared at him, trying to understand what was going on, realizing that there was so much he didn't know, so much that had been kept in the dark. Rath immediately raised his hand to strike, and Tess halted him with a hand to his forearm.
"How did you get in here?" she asked.
"You know I have my resources," Brody answered.
"Well what are you doing here? We're doing what you all want. There's no reason for you to be here!" Tess said.
Brody ignored her, focusing his attention on Max.
"Hello Zan," he said simply.
"Brody...?" Max said.
"Larek actually, at your service," he said, bowing.
"You...are you...?" he trailed off.
"Not of this earth? Yes, you might say that, but it's a little more complicated than that," he answered. "This body is a vessel, through which I can communicate with you.”
"I've been watching you, Zan. I'm here as an ambassador to the Alliance, to make sure that you arrive safely to Antar. I'm to make sure that no "accidents" happen to you, as did with your dupe," he said, turning to Tess.
"We had nothing to do with that," Tess said. "Don't you think we'd want to be prepared? Zan would have been the better choice!"
Larek's eyes lingered on her for a long moment, sizing her up.
"Have your preparations been made?" Brody asked.
Tess nodded.
"Then you must leave as soon as possible," he said.
"I know that," Tess snapped. "Look, tell the Ambassadors that all is going to plan, and we will be there for the summit."
"Make sure of it, or it's your head," Brody answered, with a fierce look, and Tess nodded.
"I can't hold onto this body for long periods of time now. See to it that he arrives in one piece, or you will pay the consequences," he said, his gaze roving over Tess, Lonnie and Rath. "I'll be waiting."
"Aiiight," Rath said, his eyes challenging Brody. Lonnie glared at him, her lip curling into a sneer.
"Don't cross me," Brody said, stepping toward Rath and Lonnie. "You have no idea what you’re in for if you deviate from the instructions."
"Pssshhh, why would we do that? We want what you all want...for this to be over wit'," Lonnie said, and before she could react, Brody had moved across the chamber with lightning speed, pinning her against the wall, his hand at her throat.
"Don't underestimate me, my dear," he hissed. "There are other alternatives we can consider if you get too cheeky."
Lonnie's eyes flashed with fear before she quickly masked it behind an indifferent stare.
"Whatever man," she said, in a feigned bored tone.
Brody started at her for a moment longer and let her go.
"You will arrive on Antar safely, Zan. I can guarantee you that," he said, turning back to Max. "You'll be protected."
"We've been waiting for this for a long time," he said, bowing.
"I don't know what I'm supposed to do," Max shaking his head.
"You were a great leader once. You'll figure it out," he said, admiration evident in his gaze.
"I wish I could stay, but I have to return to Roswell. I can't keep the hold on this body for too much longer, and it's better if he doesn't awaken in the middle of the desert. I wish you luck my friend, and we will meet again on Antar. We’ll talk more then," he said, bowing again.
Tess glared at him as he left the chamber.
"What the fuck! The Alliance didn't say anything about sending an emissary, least of all him!" Lonnie growled as soon as he was gone.
"They're covering their bases," Tess said, dismissing it. "It doesn’t matter. It's better if they know we're unharmed. We leave as soon as we can."
She looked at Max expectantly, and he remained where he was.
"I heard what you said, but we can't leave without talking to Isabel and Michael. They have to know about this," Max said.
"They aren't from the preferred set. Neither are you, for that matter," she said.
"What are you talking about?" he asked, angry. “What set?”
"Because of the seal's importance to the Granolith, when we were cloned, a backup set was made, for extra insurance. You were part of that backup set. We all were...you, myself, Isabel and Michael," she explained.
"My dupe is dead, as is yours, which is why you need to come with us. We must come as a unit, or there will be no summit," she said.
"This is crazy," he muttered, staring her down. "There was a clone of me out there somewhere?"
"Yes," she said. "But now that he's gone, you're it."
There was so much they hadn’t known. So much going on that they’d been ignorant of. How could they not have seen it?
"How did he die?" he asked.
"There was an incident in New York City. He and my duplicate were murdered. They caused a lot of trouble," she said, glancing at Rath, who was looking at her with a smirk. Lonnie rolled her eyes, shifting from one foot to the other.
"He made trouble for all of us," Rath grunted. "I say good riddance."
"It happened when the original summit was to take place. There is a seal you carry, just like your dupe had, one that allows you control of the Granolith. The summit couldn't proceed without the Zenshai...you. It has been rescheduled, and now we have to go," she said.
He felt his jaw tighten in anger.
"Don't you care that they're dead?" he asked, glaring at Lonnie and Rath.
"All we want is to get off this forsaken fuckin' rock," Lonnie said. "And you my friend, are our ticket out of here."
Tess shook her head.
"Max, this is why they didn't want to involve us. We were made too...human. Our emotions, our feelings are a hindrance. That's why the other set was considered superior. They were raised not to care. There was a kind of ...programmed genetic code to protect the King, but other than that there was nothing, no emotional attachments. Zan wouldn't have cared if either of them died," Tess said.
"What about your duplicate that was with them? The one that was like us? Would she have cared?" he asked in disgust.
"No," she answered.
"So you waited until now to tell me this," he said.
"You know Max," she snapped, "You wouldn't know anything if it weren't for me. You wouldn't have even known about this place, and believe me, if we had a choice, we wouldn't involve you in any of this."
She glanced at the pods.
His own eyes were drawn to his pod, the thing that had given him life and nourishment, one of the many things that made him different from almost every other person on the planet.
He'd come there often after Tess had shown it to him. He couldn't help but feel as if this was where his life began. And he hated it. He hated everything that had kept them in constant danger their whole lives. Every ounce of being cautious had led up to this.
Tess closed her eyes, and the pods exploded in a shower of fire, behind them a secret chamber.
Max could see the ethereal light that emanated from it, and the conical-shaped monolith contained inside of it.
"What is that?" he asked.
"The Granolith," she responded, turning to the others.
“Lonnie, Rath, did you pick up the jeep?” Tess asked.
Lonnie nodded.
"I’m surprised that fuckin’ thing made it up here. It’s about to fall apart," Rath added.
“The Granolith has been here all along, and you didn’t tell any of us?” Max asked, ignoring them.
"Look, I had a good reason. I told you, we were supposed to be the backup. Ed had to handle both sets with the other protector dead, so I knew because I was with him. They couldn't take the chance that you might try to use the Granolith before Zan did," she said. "He was meant to take control of it, not you."
"Then why didn't he?" he grated.
"There were complications, reasons why it was kept from him until the time was right," Tess evaded.
"Look, it doesn't matter. He's dead. At the very least, you can give your sister and Michael a chance at a normal life here. The Skins will leave Earth if terms are agreeable to the Alliance. The Royal Four will be represented at the summit. Only it will be you, myself, Rath and Lonnie. There is no need for them to come. Think about whether you want to put your sister and best friend's lives in danger. Lonnie and Rath are already going. You can spare them that. I am quite sure that the Alliance will be agreeable to leaving them in peace if we can work out a treaty. But everything's hinging on the Granolith, and you need to be there. You carry the seal. Without you, there will be no summit. They all want shared power of the Granolith."
"I've taken care of the FBI agents. There will be no one to come after them, as long as you agree to attend the Summit. They can live here in peace, free from danger," she said turning away from him. “If they go with us now, there's a good chance that all of us will be put in danger. Having duplicates present will only confuse things, and the Summit's going to be volatile to begin with. Once they figure out that Isabel and Michael are of the inferior set, they'll be destroyed.”
"How I can be sure that they won't be harmed if I leave them behind?" he asked, suspicious.
"Right now, as we speak, the Special Unit is in the process of being dismantled by a higher-up in the U.S Government, a congresswoman named Vanessa Whitaker," she said. "They have no further need for the Unit now. They've served their purpose."
"Are you saying..." he started in disbelief, unable to finish the thought.
"What? That the Alliance controlled the Special Unit? Of course that's what I'm saying!" she snapped. “Where do you think they got the technology to render your powers harmless? Humans don’t have that kind of knowledge.”
"Granted, the Unit didn't know that Whitaker is not of this earth, but they were under the Alliance's control until Michael charged into Copper Summit, like a fool," she said.
"So, who are you...allied with?" he asked.
"I wouldn't say we're allied with anyone," she said. "But the Skins wouldn't have really harmed you in Copper Summit. They can't. No one in the Alliance would be that stupid. If you die, so does any chance of getting access to the Granolith. Michael, well he was expendable, because they knew that Rath is alive."
She paused a moment.
"Max...you don't remember your planet. You don't even remember what you were fighting for. Zan died. If he'd lived, there would have been no need for you to go. But he’s dead,” she said in a hard voice.
“I want to go home. It's all I've ever dreamed of doing, and I never felt I belonged here. If we can settle this peacefully, then I have a chance at a good life there," she said.
A good life on Antar? How could she possibly know that when she'd never even seen it?
"You have a good life here, and you don't even realize it," he said.
"That's a matter open for debate," she said bitterly.
"Max, you and I...we could have everything if we do this right. This summit will be dangerous, but if we can get through that, you'll have everything you'd ever dreamed of," she said.
"How is that?" he asked. "I'm supposed to go to this summit to save myself and my family. I can't know that Isabel and Michael will always be safe. If any of them take the Granolith, there's no telling what they'll do to them."
Her features hardened, her arctic eyes flashing.
"They can’t take it from you. It’s impossible. Maybe after everything's settled, it will be safe for Michael and Isabel there. Max, if you don't agree to this, I'm telling you, they won't last a day on Antar. If we're careful and we play our cards right, we can maintain some control over what happens. But you have to play nice with the Alliance. It's the only way," she said. "Believe me, this deal is as good as we're going to get."
Could he leave Isabel and Michael? He knew he had no real choice, not one that he could live with. He could give Isabel and Michael what he'd always wanted. Isabel loved their parents, and they were the only humans she'd ever considered telling their secret. But how was he going to get them to agree with it? He knew that they weren't going to let him go alone without a fight.
"When do we tell them?" he said, finally.
"We’re not telling them. They’re going to think we’re dead. They’re not to know any of this," she said. "There can't be any question that they might try to stop the summit."
Pain sliced his heart at the anguish he knew that they would go through, but he would do anything he could to protect them, even if it meant that they believed he was dead.
"How can I do that to them?" he asked. "You can't ask me to do that."
"Max, you know as well as I do that Isabel and Michael aren't going to just let you go. This is the only way. After the summit, if you choose to, you can bring them to Antar and explain everything. But we can't afford any complications right now. We don't have the time."
He looked at her with new eyes. Had he ever truly realized how cold she was?
"Don't Isabel and Michael mean anything at all to you?" he asked.
An impatient sigh escaped her lips.
"Only if something happened to Lonnie and Rath, and that's not going to happen. Max, my life was much different that yours. I couldn't afford to make any attachments, except to you. You are my priority. I was made to be your mate. As long as they are alive, no one will bother Isabel and Michael. Isn't that what you want?" she asked.
"They're going to show up at the Quarry at 3 a.m. tonight. They're hiding outside of town. I'll have to put in a call to them. They can either live here in safety, or most likely die on Antar, Max. It's up to you, but don't think that the Alliance will be sympathetic. But you'll have the Granolith as a bargaining tool. Make your decision. It's now or never," she said.
*******
At 3 a.m. that night, Michael and Isabel saw what appeared to be his and Tess' death near the Quarry.
As they waited, Tess mind-warped them into seeing what she wanted them to see.
Earlier, they'd brought the sedan Topolsky and Pierce had been driving. The other two dead agents were seated in the front of the car.
Topolsky's and Pierce's bodies were loaded into the jeep and pushed over the edge of the quarry. The gas tank had exploded as hoped, bursting into flames. The sedan followed shortly after.
He'd watched them burn for a good twenty minutes before Rath extinguished it with his powers.
Then there was nothing left to do but wait.
An hour later, they heard an approaching car. Tess closed her eyes and concentrated as the car rounded the corner.
It was Isabel in their mother's car, and she was with Michael, as he'd simultaneously hoped and dreaded. He told himself once more that he was doing the right thing, even as his heart broke.
He knew what they were seeing, though the quarry in reality remained empty and dark.
To their eyes, the jeep was being chased by a nondescript sedan at top speed into the quarry. It appeared as if Max lost control of the jeep as the sedan bumped it from behind. The jeep skidded over the precipice. He saw the horror on his sister's face as the illusion was complete.
Rath lit the jeep with his powers.
Michael stumbled out of the car. Max watched his best friend gripping the door of the car, holding himself up.
Tess continued her mind-warp, and Michael did exactly what they'd anticipated he'd do. He'd aimed his powers at the sedan, and his energy streamed into the night. But to him, the sedan was knocked over the edge of the cliff. Lonnie used her powers on the car at the bottom of the quarry, and it too burst into flames.
Isabel had run to the edge of the quarry. He could feel her pain as if it were his own.
“Max!” she cried out in anguish.
Michael limped over toward Isabel.
His throat tightened and tears streamed down his face as he watched Michael wrap his arms around his sister, knowing that there was a chance that this would be the last time he ever saw them.
A moment later, police lights appeared on the horizon.
******
It was finished. They'd made the call to the Sheriff about two cars driving erratically near the quarry. He knew Michael and Isabel enough to know that they would create an explanation for what they'd seen that would satisfy the Sheriff.
He was uneasy about what was to happen. There was too much he didn't know, too much Tess had kept from him. He didn't fully trust her or the two dupes from New York.
It was obvious neither of them were happy about him going with them.
Every time he looked at Rath his disdain was made perfectly clear in his glare of contempt. Lonnie barely acknowledged him after they left the quarry.
But it was too late to change anything now. Whatever happened to him, at least there was a good chance that Isabel and Michael would be safe. Maybe Tess was right. Maybe he did have at least a small advantage with his control of the Granolith.
A half an hour later, they were back in the chamber as he looked at the monolith pulsing above him. It felt alien to him, yet somehow familiar. The pulsing light seemed almost rhythmic, taking on a specific cadence, almost like silent speech, and he started to hear things within the light.
"It will tell you what to do Max, if you open your mind to it," Tess said. "You're the only one with the seal, the only one who can access the stones."
Tess looked at him expectantly, waiting for him to begin. He glanced over at Lonnie and Rath.
“Come on asshole, we ain’t got all day,” Rath said, impatient. “They’ll come here soon. You know it.’
And he did know. Michael and Isabel would be drawn here, as they all had been over the past few years, whenever something had gone wrong.
Concentrating on the light, he did as it bade him, waving his hand at the base, and a drawer slid out filled with crystals.
He chose a purple crystal and turned to them, working on pure instinct.
They moved closer as he studied the crystal, then slid it into the base. A low hum began emanating from the Granolith.
Immediately, he sensed something was off. The energy felt somehow tainted.
"Something's not right," Max said frowning.
"Don't think about pulling any shit on us," Lonnie warned. "Do it. Now."
He didn't look at any of them, concentrating on the light that glowed from within it, almost blinding in its intensity.
He felt his body fading, becoming part of the air as every atom was sucked into the Granolith. For a moment he was frightened, afraid that he would cease to be, the molecules of his body spreading across the Universe, never to take tangible form again. But he felt his human body being re-knitted, becoming whole.
He was inside the Granolith, peering through its walls at the chamber that housed it, the rock seeming to shimmer outside the energy of the crystalline container. He turned his head to the left and saw Lonnie, Rath and Tess. They too shimmered, seeming insubstantial.
He wanted to speak, but as he opened his mouth, light seemed to drown everything out, and then everything went black.
to be continued...
So I wound up completely rewriting this part. Of course, the only one who will notice is Elizabeth.
I think it flows much better this way. The original was weak.This will be the last part I will post until late next week. I am going to be out of town until late Wednesday and although there's a chance I will post the next installment on Thursday, I don't want to promise because I will be playing catch-up at work and I don't know how much time I'll have for the net. If not, look for it on Friday. I'll still post a part the following Sunday as well.
Hope everyone has a wonderful week.
Where The River Goes – Stone Temple Pilots
Yeah, I could hide in the calm of the eye of the storm
And never blow away
Well, I’m a young man with a knife to my back
Some things never seem to change
Nowhere to run to, nowhere to hide
Sing the song or keep it inside
Bought the farm, but the farmer done died
Sing that song, sing that song inside
I wish I could live in the dream
That I fly on the tarred & freathered wings
Well, I’m losing a game of reality
Dice where the dealer never ever pays
Nowhere to run to, nowhere to hide
Sing the song or keep it inside
Bought the farm, but the farmer done died
Sing that song, sing that song inside
I wanna be as big as a mountain
I wanna fly as high as the sun
I wanna know what the rent’s like in heaven
I wanna know where the river goes
Yeah, I could hide in the calm of the eye of the storm
And never blow away
Well, I’m a young man with a knife to my back
Some things never seen to change
Nowhere to run to, nowhere to hide
Sing the song or keep it inside
Bought the farm, but the farmer done died
Sing that song, sing that song inside
I wanna be as big as a mountain
I wanna fly as high as the sun
I wanna know what the rent’s like in heaven
I wanna know where the river goes
If I was stronger
I could be a mountain range
If night was longer
Could I escape the day?
If I was stronger
I could be a mountain range
If night was longer
Could I escape the day?
Nowhere to run to, nowhere to hide
Sing the song or keep it inside
Bought the farm, but the farmer done died
Sing that song, sing that song inside
I wanna be as big as a mountain
I wanna fly as high as the sun
I wanna know what the rent’s like in heaven
I wanna know where the river...
I wanna be as big as a mountain
I wanna fly as high as the sun
I wanna know what the rent’s like in heaven
I wanna know where the river goes
Where the river goes
Where the river goes
Where the river, yeah
Where the river
Where the river
Where the river
Where the river
Where the river goes
Where the river goes
Part Eighteen
Winter – 2005
*~Max~*
Max slumped back into the seat as Tess pushed the jeep to its limit as soon as she reached the highway.
"We need to get Michael and Isabel," he said.
She shook her head.
"Not now. They're safe for the moment, but there are other things to worry about. I'll tell you everything, but we need to take care of them first," she said, motioning toward the cars following them.
Tess lured them out into the desert, using her energy to increase the jeep's speed beyond its capabilities. She kept just enough distance between them to make it seem as if the chase were actually that, a chase.
Abruptly, she pulled the jeep over and got out, eerily calm. Pierce and Topolsky's sedan, with two other agents in the backseat, screeched to a stop behind it. The four agents quickly opened the door and took cover behind the doors of the sedan, but they were no match for Tess's power. They never even got off a shot before she threw her immense energy at the sedan, knocking off the two agents first. Topolsky tried to run, getting off a few shots before Tess took her down.
Pierce made a rush toward her, but she threw up her shield, stopping the bullets in mid-air before sending a powerful surge back at him, throwing him to the ground.
Max stumbled out of the jeep toward Tess and the bodies that lay on in the dust on the side of the road.
She stood stoically between Pierce and Topolsky with a look of distaste.
Max stopped and tried to contain the emotions that welled in his heart. Hate, horror, fear, regret. He looked at the animal that had tortured him, now lying still, too still. But as much as he had hated him, he couldn't have killed him. Tess had done it without compunction.
He turned his head toward her.
"Is this what we're to become? Murderers?" he asked, bitterly.
"We don't have time for this now," she snapped. "Help me move them."
Though his heart was straining with the gravity of what she'd done, he helped her to stow their bodies in the sedan. She told him to get into the car, and he didn't argue, emotionally and physically exhausted from all that happened.
In the side-view mirror, he watched her make a telephone call, but at that moment, he didn't care whom it was that she was talking to. She got into the car, and they left the jeep and the other sedan at the side of the road.
Max fought to rein in his emotions. He'd experienced more horror than he was ready to deal with while at the Eagle Rock facility, but seeing Pierce dead didn't make any of it any better.
"I don't know what you're so upset about," she said. "He would have killed you without a second thought, after he tortured and prodded you some more."
He knew what she said was true, but it didn’t make any of it better. Tess killing Pierce and Topolsky had only proved the agent’s point. They were monsters.
His thoughts turned to Michael. After Michael had killed Hank, he hated himself. Though Hank had beaten him, he tortured himself for months after his death over what he had done.
Yet it seemed that it didn't bother Tess in the least, and that disturbed him more than anything else. How could she be so cold, so unlike them in so many ways?
"What makes us any better than them? Acting like them. Monsters. Killing machines," he said in a dull voice.
Tess made a face.
"Would you rather end up a pincushion for the government?" she asked in derision.
"Where is Ed? Didn't you even try to call him?" he asked. "He could have helped. They didn’t have to die."
"Would you just forget about Ed?" she grated. "He wasn't there when we needed him. And even if he were, do you really think any of it would have wound up differently? You really are naïve Max."
Max shook his head, feeling another bout of shivers rage through his body.
She glanced at him.
"Don't look at me like I'm the monster. I saved your life," she said.
He looked away from her.
"I give up," she muttered under her breath. "Thank God this is almost over."
He didn't even care to question what she meant by that.
The rest of the drive was silent until they reached the rocks.
Leaving the car at the bottom, they made the climb to the chamber.
Max was still weak. He could feel the drugs wearing off, but not enough to allow him to heal his battered body.
A two-inch long incision ran down the center of his chest, and he could feel the twinge of the burns where electrodes had been placed on various parts of his body. Already, the crook of his arm was bruising from where they had injected him with a multitude of drugs, and taken blood. Every muscle and bone ached, and there was nothing he could do about it.
Tess helped him into the chamber, and settled him on the floor.
“Time has run out, Max,” she said in a flat tone. “As much as it's been entertaining, we can't afford to play these games anymore.”
“We need to try Ed again," he insisted wearily. "He can help."
“Ed is dead!” she said in a low voice.
Max was momentarily stunned.
"What...how?" he asked.
“He was killed on orders from one of the planets in our solar system,” she said. "I didn't want to say anything until I knew for sure, but now I am. There's a lot you don’t know, Max."
He looked at her in shock.
"Don’t look so surprised,” she said with a smirk. “If this surprised you, well then you have no idea what you’re in for.”
“You’re no longer safe here. Neither am I, so this is what is going to happen. We’re leaving tonight, for Antar,” she said, keeping her eyes trained on the entrance to the chamber.
He hadn't been sure he'd heard her correctly.
“We can’t leave,” Max said. “We have no way to do that.”
“Actually...we do,” she said.
Jus then, the rock wall of the chamber opened, and he gasped as he saw Isabel and Michael come in.
Only it couldn't have been them, for this Michael had a mohawk and piercings, and Isabel had shorn her hair off and was wearing combat clothes and tattoos.
"Isabel?" he said, eyes widening in disbelief.
A harsh chuckle erupted from the girl's mouth as she snapped her gum.
"No, thank fuckin' God," she said, rolling her eyes.
"What the hell is going on?" Max said, as he stared at them.
"They're part of the second set," Tess said, moving to stand with them.
"Meet Lonnie and Rath," she said, crossing her arms over her chest.
"Tess, explain. I want some answers now," Max grated, as he felt the dupes' eyes fix on him in disdain.
"Fuck Tess, this one really is a loser," Lonnie said, glaring at him, sizing him up. "Now I see why they wanted Zan. He's a fuckin' chump."
Rath pursed his lips in amusement, kicking a stone with his heavy boot.
"Yo, this bitch ain't gonna make it five minutes. They'll eat him alive," he added derisively.
"Look, leave him alone. We don't have a choice!" Tess snapped.
"I'm not going anywhere," Max answered, standing up, gingerly, feeling the burning sting of the incision on his chest. "Not until you tell me what's going on, and then we'll discuss it with Michael and Isabel."
Tess whipped around to face him.
"Max, let me be blunt. If you don’t cooperate, they’re going to die," Tess said. "We have the four square, and you have the seal. That is what the Alliance will be looking for."
"What are you talking about? What Alliance?" he asked confused.
"The Interplanetary Alliance. The five planets in our galaxy," she answered. "Khivar has control over our planet and his, and the Alliance will stop at nothing to make things go their way, including killing your sister and Michael if we don't play along. We've already agreed to their preliminary terms."
"What terms?" he asked.
As he spoke, The chamber wall opened yet again, admitting another figure.
When Brody moved into the chamber, Max stared at him, trying to understand what was going on, realizing that there was so much he didn't know, so much that had been kept in the dark. Rath immediately raised his hand to strike, and Tess halted him with a hand to his forearm.
"How did you get in here?" she asked.
"You know I have my resources," Brody answered.
"Well what are you doing here? We're doing what you all want. There's no reason for you to be here!" Tess said.
Brody ignored her, focusing his attention on Max.
"Hello Zan," he said simply.
"Brody...?" Max said.
"Larek actually, at your service," he said, bowing.
"You...are you...?" he trailed off.
"Not of this earth? Yes, you might say that, but it's a little more complicated than that," he answered. "This body is a vessel, through which I can communicate with you.”
"I've been watching you, Zan. I'm here as an ambassador to the Alliance, to make sure that you arrive safely to Antar. I'm to make sure that no "accidents" happen to you, as did with your dupe," he said, turning to Tess.
"We had nothing to do with that," Tess said. "Don't you think we'd want to be prepared? Zan would have been the better choice!"
Larek's eyes lingered on her for a long moment, sizing her up.
"Have your preparations been made?" Brody asked.
Tess nodded.
"Then you must leave as soon as possible," he said.
"I know that," Tess snapped. "Look, tell the Ambassadors that all is going to plan, and we will be there for the summit."
"Make sure of it, or it's your head," Brody answered, with a fierce look, and Tess nodded.
"I can't hold onto this body for long periods of time now. See to it that he arrives in one piece, or you will pay the consequences," he said, his gaze roving over Tess, Lonnie and Rath. "I'll be waiting."
"Aiiight," Rath said, his eyes challenging Brody. Lonnie glared at him, her lip curling into a sneer.
"Don't cross me," Brody said, stepping toward Rath and Lonnie. "You have no idea what you’re in for if you deviate from the instructions."
"Pssshhh, why would we do that? We want what you all want...for this to be over wit'," Lonnie said, and before she could react, Brody had moved across the chamber with lightning speed, pinning her against the wall, his hand at her throat.
"Don't underestimate me, my dear," he hissed. "There are other alternatives we can consider if you get too cheeky."
Lonnie's eyes flashed with fear before she quickly masked it behind an indifferent stare.
"Whatever man," she said, in a feigned bored tone.
Brody started at her for a moment longer and let her go.
"You will arrive on Antar safely, Zan. I can guarantee you that," he said, turning back to Max. "You'll be protected."
"We've been waiting for this for a long time," he said, bowing.
"I don't know what I'm supposed to do," Max shaking his head.
"You were a great leader once. You'll figure it out," he said, admiration evident in his gaze.
"I wish I could stay, but I have to return to Roswell. I can't keep the hold on this body for too much longer, and it's better if he doesn't awaken in the middle of the desert. I wish you luck my friend, and we will meet again on Antar. We’ll talk more then," he said, bowing again.
Tess glared at him as he left the chamber.
"What the fuck! The Alliance didn't say anything about sending an emissary, least of all him!" Lonnie growled as soon as he was gone.
"They're covering their bases," Tess said, dismissing it. "It doesn’t matter. It's better if they know we're unharmed. We leave as soon as we can."
She looked at Max expectantly, and he remained where he was.
"I heard what you said, but we can't leave without talking to Isabel and Michael. They have to know about this," Max said.
"They aren't from the preferred set. Neither are you, for that matter," she said.
"What are you talking about?" he asked, angry. “What set?”
"Because of the seal's importance to the Granolith, when we were cloned, a backup set was made, for extra insurance. You were part of that backup set. We all were...you, myself, Isabel and Michael," she explained.
"My dupe is dead, as is yours, which is why you need to come with us. We must come as a unit, or there will be no summit," she said.
"This is crazy," he muttered, staring her down. "There was a clone of me out there somewhere?"
"Yes," she said. "But now that he's gone, you're it."
There was so much they hadn’t known. So much going on that they’d been ignorant of. How could they not have seen it?
"How did he die?" he asked.
"There was an incident in New York City. He and my duplicate were murdered. They caused a lot of trouble," she said, glancing at Rath, who was looking at her with a smirk. Lonnie rolled her eyes, shifting from one foot to the other.
"He made trouble for all of us," Rath grunted. "I say good riddance."
"It happened when the original summit was to take place. There is a seal you carry, just like your dupe had, one that allows you control of the Granolith. The summit couldn't proceed without the Zenshai...you. It has been rescheduled, and now we have to go," she said.
He felt his jaw tighten in anger.
"Don't you care that they're dead?" he asked, glaring at Lonnie and Rath.
"All we want is to get off this forsaken fuckin' rock," Lonnie said. "And you my friend, are our ticket out of here."
Tess shook her head.
"Max, this is why they didn't want to involve us. We were made too...human. Our emotions, our feelings are a hindrance. That's why the other set was considered superior. They were raised not to care. There was a kind of ...programmed genetic code to protect the King, but other than that there was nothing, no emotional attachments. Zan wouldn't have cared if either of them died," Tess said.
"What about your duplicate that was with them? The one that was like us? Would she have cared?" he asked in disgust.
"No," she answered.
"So you waited until now to tell me this," he said.
"You know Max," she snapped, "You wouldn't know anything if it weren't for me. You wouldn't have even known about this place, and believe me, if we had a choice, we wouldn't involve you in any of this."
She glanced at the pods.
His own eyes were drawn to his pod, the thing that had given him life and nourishment, one of the many things that made him different from almost every other person on the planet.
He'd come there often after Tess had shown it to him. He couldn't help but feel as if this was where his life began. And he hated it. He hated everything that had kept them in constant danger their whole lives. Every ounce of being cautious had led up to this.
Tess closed her eyes, and the pods exploded in a shower of fire, behind them a secret chamber.
Max could see the ethereal light that emanated from it, and the conical-shaped monolith contained inside of it.
"What is that?" he asked.
"The Granolith," she responded, turning to the others.
“Lonnie, Rath, did you pick up the jeep?” Tess asked.
Lonnie nodded.
"I’m surprised that fuckin’ thing made it up here. It’s about to fall apart," Rath added.
“The Granolith has been here all along, and you didn’t tell any of us?” Max asked, ignoring them.
"Look, I had a good reason. I told you, we were supposed to be the backup. Ed had to handle both sets with the other protector dead, so I knew because I was with him. They couldn't take the chance that you might try to use the Granolith before Zan did," she said. "He was meant to take control of it, not you."
"Then why didn't he?" he grated.
"There were complications, reasons why it was kept from him until the time was right," Tess evaded.
"Look, it doesn't matter. He's dead. At the very least, you can give your sister and Michael a chance at a normal life here. The Skins will leave Earth if terms are agreeable to the Alliance. The Royal Four will be represented at the summit. Only it will be you, myself, Rath and Lonnie. There is no need for them to come. Think about whether you want to put your sister and best friend's lives in danger. Lonnie and Rath are already going. You can spare them that. I am quite sure that the Alliance will be agreeable to leaving them in peace if we can work out a treaty. But everything's hinging on the Granolith, and you need to be there. You carry the seal. Without you, there will be no summit. They all want shared power of the Granolith."
"I've taken care of the FBI agents. There will be no one to come after them, as long as you agree to attend the Summit. They can live here in peace, free from danger," she said turning away from him. “If they go with us now, there's a good chance that all of us will be put in danger. Having duplicates present will only confuse things, and the Summit's going to be volatile to begin with. Once they figure out that Isabel and Michael are of the inferior set, they'll be destroyed.”
"How I can be sure that they won't be harmed if I leave them behind?" he asked, suspicious.
"Right now, as we speak, the Special Unit is in the process of being dismantled by a higher-up in the U.S Government, a congresswoman named Vanessa Whitaker," she said. "They have no further need for the Unit now. They've served their purpose."
"Are you saying..." he started in disbelief, unable to finish the thought.
"What? That the Alliance controlled the Special Unit? Of course that's what I'm saying!" she snapped. “Where do you think they got the technology to render your powers harmless? Humans don’t have that kind of knowledge.”
"Granted, the Unit didn't know that Whitaker is not of this earth, but they were under the Alliance's control until Michael charged into Copper Summit, like a fool," she said.
"So, who are you...allied with?" he asked.
"I wouldn't say we're allied with anyone," she said. "But the Skins wouldn't have really harmed you in Copper Summit. They can't. No one in the Alliance would be that stupid. If you die, so does any chance of getting access to the Granolith. Michael, well he was expendable, because they knew that Rath is alive."
She paused a moment.
"Max...you don't remember your planet. You don't even remember what you were fighting for. Zan died. If he'd lived, there would have been no need for you to go. But he’s dead,” she said in a hard voice.
“I want to go home. It's all I've ever dreamed of doing, and I never felt I belonged here. If we can settle this peacefully, then I have a chance at a good life there," she said.
A good life on Antar? How could she possibly know that when she'd never even seen it?
"You have a good life here, and you don't even realize it," he said.
"That's a matter open for debate," she said bitterly.
"Max, you and I...we could have everything if we do this right. This summit will be dangerous, but if we can get through that, you'll have everything you'd ever dreamed of," she said.
"How is that?" he asked. "I'm supposed to go to this summit to save myself and my family. I can't know that Isabel and Michael will always be safe. If any of them take the Granolith, there's no telling what they'll do to them."
Her features hardened, her arctic eyes flashing.
"They can’t take it from you. It’s impossible. Maybe after everything's settled, it will be safe for Michael and Isabel there. Max, if you don't agree to this, I'm telling you, they won't last a day on Antar. If we're careful and we play our cards right, we can maintain some control over what happens. But you have to play nice with the Alliance. It's the only way," she said. "Believe me, this deal is as good as we're going to get."
Could he leave Isabel and Michael? He knew he had no real choice, not one that he could live with. He could give Isabel and Michael what he'd always wanted. Isabel loved their parents, and they were the only humans she'd ever considered telling their secret. But how was he going to get them to agree with it? He knew that they weren't going to let him go alone without a fight.
"When do we tell them?" he said, finally.
"We’re not telling them. They’re going to think we’re dead. They’re not to know any of this," she said. "There can't be any question that they might try to stop the summit."
Pain sliced his heart at the anguish he knew that they would go through, but he would do anything he could to protect them, even if it meant that they believed he was dead.
"How can I do that to them?" he asked. "You can't ask me to do that."
"Max, you know as well as I do that Isabel and Michael aren't going to just let you go. This is the only way. After the summit, if you choose to, you can bring them to Antar and explain everything. But we can't afford any complications right now. We don't have the time."
He looked at her with new eyes. Had he ever truly realized how cold she was?
"Don't Isabel and Michael mean anything at all to you?" he asked.
An impatient sigh escaped her lips.
"Only if something happened to Lonnie and Rath, and that's not going to happen. Max, my life was much different that yours. I couldn't afford to make any attachments, except to you. You are my priority. I was made to be your mate. As long as they are alive, no one will bother Isabel and Michael. Isn't that what you want?" she asked.
"They're going to show up at the Quarry at 3 a.m. tonight. They're hiding outside of town. I'll have to put in a call to them. They can either live here in safety, or most likely die on Antar, Max. It's up to you, but don't think that the Alliance will be sympathetic. But you'll have the Granolith as a bargaining tool. Make your decision. It's now or never," she said.
*******
At 3 a.m. that night, Michael and Isabel saw what appeared to be his and Tess' death near the Quarry.
As they waited, Tess mind-warped them into seeing what she wanted them to see.
Earlier, they'd brought the sedan Topolsky and Pierce had been driving. The other two dead agents were seated in the front of the car.
Topolsky's and Pierce's bodies were loaded into the jeep and pushed over the edge of the quarry. The gas tank had exploded as hoped, bursting into flames. The sedan followed shortly after.
He'd watched them burn for a good twenty minutes before Rath extinguished it with his powers.
Then there was nothing left to do but wait.
An hour later, they heard an approaching car. Tess closed her eyes and concentrated as the car rounded the corner.
It was Isabel in their mother's car, and she was with Michael, as he'd simultaneously hoped and dreaded. He told himself once more that he was doing the right thing, even as his heart broke.
He knew what they were seeing, though the quarry in reality remained empty and dark.
To their eyes, the jeep was being chased by a nondescript sedan at top speed into the quarry. It appeared as if Max lost control of the jeep as the sedan bumped it from behind. The jeep skidded over the precipice. He saw the horror on his sister's face as the illusion was complete.
Rath lit the jeep with his powers.
Michael stumbled out of the car. Max watched his best friend gripping the door of the car, holding himself up.
Tess continued her mind-warp, and Michael did exactly what they'd anticipated he'd do. He'd aimed his powers at the sedan, and his energy streamed into the night. But to him, the sedan was knocked over the edge of the cliff. Lonnie used her powers on the car at the bottom of the quarry, and it too burst into flames.
Isabel had run to the edge of the quarry. He could feel her pain as if it were his own.
“Max!” she cried out in anguish.
Michael limped over toward Isabel.
His throat tightened and tears streamed down his face as he watched Michael wrap his arms around his sister, knowing that there was a chance that this would be the last time he ever saw them.
A moment later, police lights appeared on the horizon.
******
It was finished. They'd made the call to the Sheriff about two cars driving erratically near the quarry. He knew Michael and Isabel enough to know that they would create an explanation for what they'd seen that would satisfy the Sheriff.
He was uneasy about what was to happen. There was too much he didn't know, too much Tess had kept from him. He didn't fully trust her or the two dupes from New York.
It was obvious neither of them were happy about him going with them.
Every time he looked at Rath his disdain was made perfectly clear in his glare of contempt. Lonnie barely acknowledged him after they left the quarry.
But it was too late to change anything now. Whatever happened to him, at least there was a good chance that Isabel and Michael would be safe. Maybe Tess was right. Maybe he did have at least a small advantage with his control of the Granolith.
A half an hour later, they were back in the chamber as he looked at the monolith pulsing above him. It felt alien to him, yet somehow familiar. The pulsing light seemed almost rhythmic, taking on a specific cadence, almost like silent speech, and he started to hear things within the light.
"It will tell you what to do Max, if you open your mind to it," Tess said. "You're the only one with the seal, the only one who can access the stones."
Tess looked at him expectantly, waiting for him to begin. He glanced over at Lonnie and Rath.
“Come on asshole, we ain’t got all day,” Rath said, impatient. “They’ll come here soon. You know it.’
And he did know. Michael and Isabel would be drawn here, as they all had been over the past few years, whenever something had gone wrong.
Concentrating on the light, he did as it bade him, waving his hand at the base, and a drawer slid out filled with crystals.
He chose a purple crystal and turned to them, working on pure instinct.
They moved closer as he studied the crystal, then slid it into the base. A low hum began emanating from the Granolith.
Immediately, he sensed something was off. The energy felt somehow tainted.
"Something's not right," Max said frowning.
"Don't think about pulling any shit on us," Lonnie warned. "Do it. Now."
He didn't look at any of them, concentrating on the light that glowed from within it, almost blinding in its intensity.
He felt his body fading, becoming part of the air as every atom was sucked into the Granolith. For a moment he was frightened, afraid that he would cease to be, the molecules of his body spreading across the Universe, never to take tangible form again. But he felt his human body being re-knitted, becoming whole.
He was inside the Granolith, peering through its walls at the chamber that housed it, the rock seeming to shimmer outside the energy of the crystalline container. He turned his head to the left and saw Lonnie, Rath and Tess. They too shimmered, seeming insubstantial.
He wanted to speak, but as he opened his mouth, light seemed to drown everything out, and then everything went black.
to be continued...
Part Nineteen
Well, I'm back. Sorry this wasn't posted last night. Airline delays held us up and we got back late.
Crawling In The Dark - Hoobastank
I will dedicate and sacrifice my every-thing
for just a seconds worth of how my story's ending
and I wish I could know if the directions that I take
and all the choices that I make won't end up all for nothing
Show me what it's for
make me understand it
I've been crawling in the dark
looking for the answer
is there something more
than what I've been handed?
I've been crawling in the dark
looking for the answer
Help me carry on
assure me it's ok to
use my heart and not my eyes
to navigate the darkness
will the ending be
ever coming suddenly?
will I ever get to see
the ending to my story?
Show me what it's for
make me understand it
I've been crawling in the dark
looking for the answer
is there something more
than what I've been handed?
I've been crawling in the dark
looking for the answer
So when and how will I know?
How much further do I have to go? (have to go)
and how much longer until I finally know? (finally know)
cause I am looking and I just can't see what's in front of me
in front of me
Show me what it's for
make me understand it
I've been crawling in the dark
looking for the answer
is there something more
than what I've been handed?
I've been crawling in the dark
looking for the answer
Part Nineteen
Winter 2005
*~Max~*
He lay somewhere between a state of consciousness and dreams. Images burned into his mind flitted through his consciousness.
He felt the Granolith drawing on his life force, using it to propel itself. He could sense something was very wrong. Something in his physiology was not completely compatible with it. Would he have enough energy to complete the journey? Or would it not be enough? Would they wind up stuck in space forever, drifting until they ceased to exist? He didn’t want to think of it, so his thoughts turned elsewhere.
He drew on images of his human life.
He felt comfort as he saw the smiling faces of his human parents, the two people who had taken him and Isabel in, who had chosen to love and care for them, to treat them as if they were their own.
Then Isabel...who had shared his heritage, and the secret of what they were. They'd always been so close, and he hated that things had ended up as they had. He wished that he could have spoken to her and Michael just once more.
Michael. The boy who had been through so much with Hank, shunned by many humans until he grew a thick skin shunning them in turn. But Max knew the hurt that lay beneath his tough exterior, his feelings of inferiority and inability to connect with other humans.
And finally, he thought of Liz Parker. She had been nothing much more than an acquaintance. She would never know what she had come to mean to his lonely existence. His weekly pilgrimages to the Crashdown to quietly watch her go about her day had been the one constant in his life, the one little rebellion against the wall of safety he'd erected around himself. He wondered what she might have said to him at graduation if Kyle hadn't interrupted. He'd never know now, but his secret heart wished that maybe she had meant what she'd said, that she'd miss him. Because he missed seeing her, even from the distance he maintained.
His thoughts turned to what lay ahead. Tess had allied herself with Khivar, as did Lonnie and Rath. Would it be as simple as giving up the Granolith? But what would that mean to him, or to the people of Antar? He remembered nothing of them, nothing of his past.
For what seemed like forever, he lay in his dream sleep, as the Granolith hurtled through space.
His body grew weaker as the time passed, his energy ebbing as the Granolith picked up speed. He felt an odd connection between him and it, as if the two were a puzzle, yet there was one small piece missing. Though he sensed he could draw on the Granolith as it drew on him, that there was something wrong with the connection. It was almost as if it did not fully recognize him. Instinctively, he knew that the connection was tainted somehow, that it shouldn't have been drawing this much energy from him. If he let it, it would eventually kill him.
A sense of foreboding was filling his heart. Something was going to happen. Something momentous. Something that would test everything he was, and everything he had been, and he was afraid that he would not be strong enough.
********
He awakened to chaos. He lay on a cold floor, but all around him he felt heat, the heat of an unnatural fire. An explosion shook the floor, and he heard the cries of unseen beings somewhere beyond his peripheral vision.
His brain was muddled, and he tried to shake off the confusion. He was greatly weakened by the trip, and he could sense that his powers were almost completely depleted. He'd spent months in the Granolith, but yet somehow he knew that his arrival on Antar was just in time. If the trip had been any longer, he would have been drained until he ceased to exist.
Smoke filled the air, creating a hazy cloud all around him. He coughed at the acrid fumes, his eyes watering.
He felt as if he were newly born, his limbs not cooperating, rubbery and weak.
Tess and the others were nowhere to be seen. He tried to rise to his feet, using his arms to lift his upper body from the metal beneath him, and hit the floor face-first, pain blasting through his head as he felt his nose crushed against the serrated metal. A warm gush of blood poured from his nose. Pushing himself up again, he saw a shape on the floor very close to where he lay.
All those months of traveling, all those years of looking for answers had not prepared him for the reality of seeing an extra-terrestrial in its native form. Until then, every being he'd seen on Earth had either been human, or resembled one.
But this, this was no human, nor did it look anything like one. Its head was much too large to be human. Large bulbous eyes gleamed wetly out of its eye sockets. A thin line of black inky liquid oozed from the side of its mouth, as its chest rose and fell in small shallow gasps.
Another explosion rocked the room, and he started as it spoke.
"Zan...".
Max paused and crawled closer, sensing that the being was too wounded to harm him. The creature reached into its robe and pulled out a small disk, reaching out to give it to Max.
Max took it, and the creature pointed to the area behind its ear.
Max held the disc near his ear and gasped when it attached itself to his skin. It wasn't painful, but he couldn't help but fear what it would do to him. He desperately tried to claw it off.
"Don't Zan," the creature gasped. "It's a translator."
Max paused when he heard the creature's voice in human English.
"It will not hurt you," it wheezed, turning to lie flat on its back.
"You know me," Max asked in a low voice.
"I am Larek," it said hoarsely. For a moment, he could do nothing, momentarily stunned that this being was what had possessed Brody's body.
"Can....can I help?" Max asked.
"No," the being answered, its body convulsing with a wave of pain.
"It's too late for me. Do not waste your energy," it said, its eyes fixing on the entrance.
"You were my dear friend once, Zan," it wheezed. "I know you do not remember, but I do. I wanted what was best for my people, for all of our people. I had pinned everything on you and the summit, but I fear that there is nothing that you can do now, for any of them."
"The door to the room won't hold much longer. Khivar has violated the moratorium. I had been sent to make sure that it was adhered to. You were to be guaranteed safety until the Summit, transported to a neutral territory. I was supposed to be the one to accompany you. I suspected he never intended to do so, and now I know my suspicions are correct. The others have fled back to their worlds. I....I was not so lucky, but I thought...." it broke off in a fit of coughing.
"I thought that I could get you out of here. I failed you," it said.
"I knew Khivar would not adhere to his word. The others did not believe, but I knew. Tess and the others were about to take you, and I fired on them. They're outside the door with Khivar and his men. I was wounded sealing the door," it said.
"He will take you by force. The Alliance was unprepared for his act of defiance. You are in great danger. Do not trust Tess," it whispered.
Max glanced up to see that Lonnie, Rath and Tess were already gone. He swore under his breath.
"Do not put up a fight now. It will only make things worse for you. Someone will come to you. Keep your eyes opened, and your mouth shut. You will know it when they approach you. Above all, do not give up the Granolith to Khivar. He has proved to be untrustworthy. He will take the power of the Granolith for himself, and if he does, the four planets remaining in our galaxy will be doomed," the being said.
"I don't even know anything about the Granolith!" Max answered.
"All will be explained. You must wait. You will be approached," the being said, gasping. Its heaving breath turned into a choking gag and its body fell still.
Larek was dead, Max knew, and now he was left to fend for himself alone. Did he dare to trust what he had said?
He crawled across the floor, feeling his way through the smoke looking for an escape, but before he'd gotten far, a great bang echoed through the room, and he was surrounded by armed humanoids.
He froze, not giving them any excuse to use their weapons against him. He knew he was greatly weakened by the Granolith, and that it had rendered him helpless, but it was imperative that he remained alive.
The guards separated to reveal an impossibly tall being, terrible in his beauty. Almost giant in nature, he was wholly different than Larek, and almost human. A mane of dark hair fell down his back and powerful shoulders were encased in a warrior's armor. Cold eyes of a green he'd never seen seemed to burrow into his soul, making him feel as if this creature could search out his weaknesses with no effort. Max steeled himself and stood taller.
The creature moved to stand before him, his very demeanor commanded those around him, and Max felt a shiver as he instinctively knew that this was his foe: Khivar.
"We meet again, Zan," he said, his voice deep and menacing.
"How appropriate that you are on your knees," he said with humor.
He glanced at one of his men.
"The Granolith?" he asked.
"It's been secured," the guard answered.
"And the others?" Khivar questioned.
"They've been shown to quarters," the guard replied.
Khivar chuckled, turning back to him. "You had a bit of a longer sleep than the others."
Max glared at him.
"Larek is dead for his foolishness. If you cooperate, I'll let you live...for now. If you give us the slightest trouble, there are ways we can make you cooperate. Keep that in mind," he said.
Max remained silent.
"How I've waited for this moment," Khivar said.
He could do nothing but glare at him, though his mind swam with confusion.
Khivar laughed.
"I can see it in your face. You have no idea what happened before your death, do you?" he asked.
"I'm not surprised."
"You were quite dense then and I see not much has changed," Khivar said, studying him with disgust.
"You never saw what was going on right under your nose," he said, shaking his head. "Did you really think that you could keep the Granolith from me?"
Max felt him studying him.
"No matter. You will do as I say, or suffer the consequences," Khivar said.
Max remembered what Larek had said to him, but he couldn't keep quiet.
"If you think I'm going to cooperate with you, you're crazy," he answered.
Khivar laughed.
"We'll see about that," he said in amusement.
"Take him to his cell," Khivar said, dismissing him.
Max was dragged off and a manacle was clamped over his wrist before he was roughly shoved into a small, dark cell.
Immediately, he tried to use his meager powers to escape, and found they were useless. They didn't know it, but they needn't have bothered to use the manacle. His powers had completely been drained.
He couldn’t see anything. The cold cell was blanketed in darkness.
For a long time he lay on the floor motionless, knowing he'd been played for a fool. Now it was just a matter of time before they came for him. But he waited longer than he expected.
For two days he sat in the cold and damp cell with no food or water. The cell was dim and primitive, meant for discomfort.
He knew that they wouldn't let him die. He didn't know why, but they needed him alive in order to gain control of the Granolith.
It seemed to be forever that he sat in darkness, shivering, waiting for the torture that was sure to come.
He'd been dozing when his shoulder was shaken in the dark.
On instinct, he moved away from the hand.
"Max," a female voice said in a whisper.
He sat up and moved away in suspicion.
“Who are you?” he asked, trying to see anything of her in the darkness.
"I came as soon as I could," she said, nudging him with a cold object.
He flinched.
"It's water," she said, pushing it into his arm again.
"Who are you? How did you get in here?" he croaked again.
"You won't remember me. Larek told you I would come," she said.
"You're not human," he asked.
"No," she answered. "I am like the one you know as Ed."
"Drink," she prompted, placing the flask into his hands.
For a moment he fought the urge to take the container, but his thirst won out.
He drank in long, deep swallows. The water seemed somehow thicker than the water on Earth, but otherwise was tasteless, just like the water he remembered.
"I can't stay," she said.
"They will be coming for you shortly. There is much I have to tell you, but I don't have the time now. Know this, you can't give in to Khivar's demands. I can help you, but you have to trust me," she said.
"I don't know who to trust anymore," Max said in a dull voice.
"I will do what I can to protect you. They don't know that I am here with you. Khivar's men are coming for you. Don't give up, at least not until you know the truth that they haven't told you. I will come to you tonight," she said.
"There is a chance you can get out of this alive, but you need to know everything first," she said.
"Don't provoke any of them, whatever you do," she warned.
“You will have no use of your powers until that bracelet comes off...”
Her voice faded and the cell fell silent.
“Wait!” he said.
His answer was silence. He reached out, trying to feel her presence, and the cell was suddenly lit, momentarily blinding him.
Before he had a chance to think about what she'd said, the guards were pulling him out of the cell.
He was dragged to a chamber and pushed roughly onto a table, his wrists shackled with metal bonds.
His head was secured to the table with a thick metal band, and he was left to lie there helpless. For long moments, he struggled to escape his bonds, but again, his powers were rendered useless.
A voice stilled his struggle.
"Hello Max," she said in a bored voice.
Tess.
“This looks so oddly familiar,” she taunted. “Bring back any memories?”
Max struggled against his bonds, knowing she was talking about his time spent in the compound.
"Have you had some time to think about giving up the Granolith?" she asked, pacing before him. He couldn't see her face, but he knew she was close.
He could almost sense her animosity, now tightly controlled.
“Have you come to gloat?” he asked, ignoring her question.
"How could you do this Tess? How could you turn on us? How could you betray your own people?" he asked.
She stopped and looked at him in disdain.
“Why? Why are you doing this?” he asked.
“This never would have happened if you'd only been more cooperative. You could have remained on Earth, safe, if you'd only seen things my way,” she said. “But you were always too stubborn, too caught up in weak human emotions. It wasn’t supposed to happen this way you know.”
"A child would have solved everything, but I'd completely given up on that, with your idiotic yearning for that weak human girl,” she huffed. “It was the biggest mistake you’d ever made.”
“A child would have set you free. You wouldn’t be here right now. A child would have made things so much easier. I know damned well you would have done anything to keep it alive, including the giving up Granolith. If you hadn't been so pig-headed, you would be on Earth, safe,” she said.
"It's all about power Max," Tess said, and her ice-blue eyes and blond hair came into view.
"That's the one thing you never understood. Lonnie and Rath understand it. Ed made sure that they were raised to understand it, like me. But you, you’re weak," she said.
She moved closer.
“Did you really think that you were in control of what went on from the moment we arrived in Roswell? We manipulated you, and you ate every word of it up. Did you really think I cared for you? You pined over mousy Liz Parker, and I let you, because it was convenient. It kept you distracted," she said.
He felt her cold hand on his arm, and a painful burst of energy crackled through his nervous system.
He felt the rage building in his heart. Her dismissal of the only thing that had kept him going throughout his lonely years fueled the anger he was feeling.
"You could never control me, or my feelings," he gasped, lifting his chin, unable to fully see her features after another jolt of energy set his nerve endings on fire.
"You're pathetic," she said in disgust. "But then again, you always were, even before you were ever born a human."
“I did control you, Max. I let you keep yourself distracted with Liz Parker, and when it interfered with my plans, I took care of it, just like I will take care of you,” she said.
"What are you talking about?” he asked, struggling against the steel bonds holding his body to the table.
A harsh laugh sprang from her lips as she circled the table.
“You stupid fool,” she spat. “You always underestimated me. You let your human emotions rule your head. It gave me the advantage though, didn’t it? If you hadn’t been so concerned with Liz Parker, you might have caught onto things.”
He again felt the strange pulling in his mind that he'd grown used to while in Roswell, and his thoughts again grew confused.
“The distraction was to my benefit for awhile,” she said. “You were just a back-up. But when Zan was no longer an option, then it became a thorn in my side. I didn’t think you were that much of a sap. Did you know that I arranged those summer classes she took the summer after graduation? I bet you didn’t. There were many others more qualified. She was smart, but not that smart. I thought that when Liz went away, you’d get over it. But you didn’t, did you?”
“No. You continued to ask about her at that tacky restaurant. You wanted her even after she was gone, even though you knew it was wrong, that you would have put her in danger. She might have never been yours, but she had your heart. I knew everything you were thinking, Max,” she said.
She was in his head. He recognized the pull for what it was. She was causing the addled feelings he'd been experiencing on and off ever since she and Ed had made an appearance.
"Get out of my head," he grated.
Focusing his meager energy, he pushed her out of his mind, and felt a small snap as she left it.
She laughed.
"I don't need to be in your head anymore Max," she said. "You're so predictable. You always were, especially when it came to Liz."
"Do you know how tired I was of having to wade through your pathetic longings? It got old, I decided to take care of that nuisance once and for all,” she whispered.
She leaned closer to his face.
"Didn't you wonder why the alarms never went off in the Crashdown the night of the fire, Max?" she asked, with feigned innocence.
The implications of what she was saying took a few seconds to set in. He simply could not believe that someone could be so evil.
"You didn't...you didn't kill Liz's parents," he said, doubt lacing his voice. "They were innocent. She was innocent."
"Didn't I?" she answered. "Your preoccupation with her became an annoyance. I just made sure that she was never coming back, and I made sure that you could never have her."
His eyes squeezed shut against the tears that were threatening to spill from them.
"It was actually quite brilliant if you think about it," she said, pulling away.
"I know you better than you know yourself. I know your weaknesses," she whispered in a seductive voice that made his blood turn to ice.
"You don't know me at all," he said in a voice trembling with rage.
"You were getting close to letting her know how you felt. I sensed your thoughts of her all the time, even after she left for Harvard. You were growing more bold, telling yourself that maybe, just maybe you might find the courage to act on your feelings when she came back," she said. "We couldn't have that, now could we? I couldn't take the chance that you would be that stupid. There would be too many questions," she said.
"So I just made sure it would never happen. I knew she wouldn't come back. And if she did, I had my trump card. You wouldn't have allowed yourself to become too close to her without telling her what you are. Who knows? Maybe she would have accepted it. She’s such a pushover. But would she have accepted that one of your own kind, one that you trusted, killed the two people she loved most in the world, because of you and what you are?" she asked.
He felt his whole body go cold. She had well and truly destroyed his life, and had prevented him from having any sort of future or happiness on Earth, had he had the courage to pursue it, and she’d destroyed Liz’s life. Liz who had been nothing more than a daydream to him.
What was even more reprehensible was that she did it to amuse herself.
This final piece of information was meant to break him, but they'd just made their first mistake.
A fire grew in his heart, a fire of rage. They would pay for what they'd done, for all the lies they'd told, for all the people they'd hurt. He would make them pay, or he would die trying.
"Khivar will get control of the Granolith, one way or another," she said. "My advice to you is to give him what he wants. I'll make sure that your death is quick. But if you resist him, there's nothing I can do for you."
****
Days later, he lay curled up on the floor of the cell, every bone and sinew aching. The torture had begun soon after that conversation with Tess. He'd been beaten almost beyond recognition, but they wouldn’t kill him. That he knew, not until they had what they wanted. But he didn't know how much more of it he would be able to take.
The owner of the voice in the darkness had not come, as she’d promised. Something in him sensed that he could trust her, but he was starting to think that something might have happened to her. Perhaps she’d met the same fate as Larek.
But she and Larek had been right not to trust Tess. His own instincts had told him not to trust her, and he’d ignored it.
He’d ignored a lot of things that were right in front of his eyes, and now it was too late to fix any of it. He’d said he wouldn’t help Khivar, but he knew sooner or later, Isabel and Michael would be in danger if he didn’t cooperate.
Khivar was holding that as his last resort, he knew, trying to beat him into submission, making him believe that they would be safe if he did as he was told. But it would eventually come down to their lives or the Granolith, and he knew it.
And he had no idea what he was going to do.
Until Sunday....
Crawling In The Dark - Hoobastank
I will dedicate and sacrifice my every-thing
for just a seconds worth of how my story's ending
and I wish I could know if the directions that I take
and all the choices that I make won't end up all for nothing
Show me what it's for
make me understand it
I've been crawling in the dark
looking for the answer
is there something more
than what I've been handed?
I've been crawling in the dark
looking for the answer
Help me carry on
assure me it's ok to
use my heart and not my eyes
to navigate the darkness
will the ending be
ever coming suddenly?
will I ever get to see
the ending to my story?
Show me what it's for
make me understand it
I've been crawling in the dark
looking for the answer
is there something more
than what I've been handed?
I've been crawling in the dark
looking for the answer
So when and how will I know?
How much further do I have to go? (have to go)
and how much longer until I finally know? (finally know)
cause I am looking and I just can't see what's in front of me
in front of me
Show me what it's for
make me understand it
I've been crawling in the dark
looking for the answer
is there something more
than what I've been handed?
I've been crawling in the dark
looking for the answer
Part Nineteen
Winter 2005
*~Max~*
He lay somewhere between a state of consciousness and dreams. Images burned into his mind flitted through his consciousness.
He felt the Granolith drawing on his life force, using it to propel itself. He could sense something was very wrong. Something in his physiology was not completely compatible with it. Would he have enough energy to complete the journey? Or would it not be enough? Would they wind up stuck in space forever, drifting until they ceased to exist? He didn’t want to think of it, so his thoughts turned elsewhere.
He drew on images of his human life.
He felt comfort as he saw the smiling faces of his human parents, the two people who had taken him and Isabel in, who had chosen to love and care for them, to treat them as if they were their own.
Then Isabel...who had shared his heritage, and the secret of what they were. They'd always been so close, and he hated that things had ended up as they had. He wished that he could have spoken to her and Michael just once more.
Michael. The boy who had been through so much with Hank, shunned by many humans until he grew a thick skin shunning them in turn. But Max knew the hurt that lay beneath his tough exterior, his feelings of inferiority and inability to connect with other humans.
And finally, he thought of Liz Parker. She had been nothing much more than an acquaintance. She would never know what she had come to mean to his lonely existence. His weekly pilgrimages to the Crashdown to quietly watch her go about her day had been the one constant in his life, the one little rebellion against the wall of safety he'd erected around himself. He wondered what she might have said to him at graduation if Kyle hadn't interrupted. He'd never know now, but his secret heart wished that maybe she had meant what she'd said, that she'd miss him. Because he missed seeing her, even from the distance he maintained.
His thoughts turned to what lay ahead. Tess had allied herself with Khivar, as did Lonnie and Rath. Would it be as simple as giving up the Granolith? But what would that mean to him, or to the people of Antar? He remembered nothing of them, nothing of his past.
For what seemed like forever, he lay in his dream sleep, as the Granolith hurtled through space.
His body grew weaker as the time passed, his energy ebbing as the Granolith picked up speed. He felt an odd connection between him and it, as if the two were a puzzle, yet there was one small piece missing. Though he sensed he could draw on the Granolith as it drew on him, that there was something wrong with the connection. It was almost as if it did not fully recognize him. Instinctively, he knew that the connection was tainted somehow, that it shouldn't have been drawing this much energy from him. If he let it, it would eventually kill him.
A sense of foreboding was filling his heart. Something was going to happen. Something momentous. Something that would test everything he was, and everything he had been, and he was afraid that he would not be strong enough.
********
He awakened to chaos. He lay on a cold floor, but all around him he felt heat, the heat of an unnatural fire. An explosion shook the floor, and he heard the cries of unseen beings somewhere beyond his peripheral vision.
His brain was muddled, and he tried to shake off the confusion. He was greatly weakened by the trip, and he could sense that his powers were almost completely depleted. He'd spent months in the Granolith, but yet somehow he knew that his arrival on Antar was just in time. If the trip had been any longer, he would have been drained until he ceased to exist.
Smoke filled the air, creating a hazy cloud all around him. He coughed at the acrid fumes, his eyes watering.
He felt as if he were newly born, his limbs not cooperating, rubbery and weak.
Tess and the others were nowhere to be seen. He tried to rise to his feet, using his arms to lift his upper body from the metal beneath him, and hit the floor face-first, pain blasting through his head as he felt his nose crushed against the serrated metal. A warm gush of blood poured from his nose. Pushing himself up again, he saw a shape on the floor very close to where he lay.
All those months of traveling, all those years of looking for answers had not prepared him for the reality of seeing an extra-terrestrial in its native form. Until then, every being he'd seen on Earth had either been human, or resembled one.
But this, this was no human, nor did it look anything like one. Its head was much too large to be human. Large bulbous eyes gleamed wetly out of its eye sockets. A thin line of black inky liquid oozed from the side of its mouth, as its chest rose and fell in small shallow gasps.
Another explosion rocked the room, and he started as it spoke.
"Zan...".
Max paused and crawled closer, sensing that the being was too wounded to harm him. The creature reached into its robe and pulled out a small disk, reaching out to give it to Max.
Max took it, and the creature pointed to the area behind its ear.
Max held the disc near his ear and gasped when it attached itself to his skin. It wasn't painful, but he couldn't help but fear what it would do to him. He desperately tried to claw it off.
"Don't Zan," the creature gasped. "It's a translator."
Max paused when he heard the creature's voice in human English.
"It will not hurt you," it wheezed, turning to lie flat on its back.
"You know me," Max asked in a low voice.
"I am Larek," it said hoarsely. For a moment, he could do nothing, momentarily stunned that this being was what had possessed Brody's body.
"Can....can I help?" Max asked.
"No," the being answered, its body convulsing with a wave of pain.
"It's too late for me. Do not waste your energy," it said, its eyes fixing on the entrance.
"You were my dear friend once, Zan," it wheezed. "I know you do not remember, but I do. I wanted what was best for my people, for all of our people. I had pinned everything on you and the summit, but I fear that there is nothing that you can do now, for any of them."
"The door to the room won't hold much longer. Khivar has violated the moratorium. I had been sent to make sure that it was adhered to. You were to be guaranteed safety until the Summit, transported to a neutral territory. I was supposed to be the one to accompany you. I suspected he never intended to do so, and now I know my suspicions are correct. The others have fled back to their worlds. I....I was not so lucky, but I thought...." it broke off in a fit of coughing.
"I thought that I could get you out of here. I failed you," it said.
"I knew Khivar would not adhere to his word. The others did not believe, but I knew. Tess and the others were about to take you, and I fired on them. They're outside the door with Khivar and his men. I was wounded sealing the door," it said.
"He will take you by force. The Alliance was unprepared for his act of defiance. You are in great danger. Do not trust Tess," it whispered.
Max glanced up to see that Lonnie, Rath and Tess were already gone. He swore under his breath.
"Do not put up a fight now. It will only make things worse for you. Someone will come to you. Keep your eyes opened, and your mouth shut. You will know it when they approach you. Above all, do not give up the Granolith to Khivar. He has proved to be untrustworthy. He will take the power of the Granolith for himself, and if he does, the four planets remaining in our galaxy will be doomed," the being said.
"I don't even know anything about the Granolith!" Max answered.
"All will be explained. You must wait. You will be approached," the being said, gasping. Its heaving breath turned into a choking gag and its body fell still.
Larek was dead, Max knew, and now he was left to fend for himself alone. Did he dare to trust what he had said?
He crawled across the floor, feeling his way through the smoke looking for an escape, but before he'd gotten far, a great bang echoed through the room, and he was surrounded by armed humanoids.
He froze, not giving them any excuse to use their weapons against him. He knew he was greatly weakened by the Granolith, and that it had rendered him helpless, but it was imperative that he remained alive.
The guards separated to reveal an impossibly tall being, terrible in his beauty. Almost giant in nature, he was wholly different than Larek, and almost human. A mane of dark hair fell down his back and powerful shoulders were encased in a warrior's armor. Cold eyes of a green he'd never seen seemed to burrow into his soul, making him feel as if this creature could search out his weaknesses with no effort. Max steeled himself and stood taller.
The creature moved to stand before him, his very demeanor commanded those around him, and Max felt a shiver as he instinctively knew that this was his foe: Khivar.
"We meet again, Zan," he said, his voice deep and menacing.
"How appropriate that you are on your knees," he said with humor.
He glanced at one of his men.
"The Granolith?" he asked.
"It's been secured," the guard answered.
"And the others?" Khivar questioned.
"They've been shown to quarters," the guard replied.
Khivar chuckled, turning back to him. "You had a bit of a longer sleep than the others."
Max glared at him.
"Larek is dead for his foolishness. If you cooperate, I'll let you live...for now. If you give us the slightest trouble, there are ways we can make you cooperate. Keep that in mind," he said.
Max remained silent.
"How I've waited for this moment," Khivar said.
He could do nothing but glare at him, though his mind swam with confusion.
Khivar laughed.
"I can see it in your face. You have no idea what happened before your death, do you?" he asked.
"I'm not surprised."
"You were quite dense then and I see not much has changed," Khivar said, studying him with disgust.
"You never saw what was going on right under your nose," he said, shaking his head. "Did you really think that you could keep the Granolith from me?"
Max felt him studying him.
"No matter. You will do as I say, or suffer the consequences," Khivar said.
Max remembered what Larek had said to him, but he couldn't keep quiet.
"If you think I'm going to cooperate with you, you're crazy," he answered.
Khivar laughed.
"We'll see about that," he said in amusement.
"Take him to his cell," Khivar said, dismissing him.
Max was dragged off and a manacle was clamped over his wrist before he was roughly shoved into a small, dark cell.
Immediately, he tried to use his meager powers to escape, and found they were useless. They didn't know it, but they needn't have bothered to use the manacle. His powers had completely been drained.
He couldn’t see anything. The cold cell was blanketed in darkness.
For a long time he lay on the floor motionless, knowing he'd been played for a fool. Now it was just a matter of time before they came for him. But he waited longer than he expected.
For two days he sat in the cold and damp cell with no food or water. The cell was dim and primitive, meant for discomfort.
He knew that they wouldn't let him die. He didn't know why, but they needed him alive in order to gain control of the Granolith.
It seemed to be forever that he sat in darkness, shivering, waiting for the torture that was sure to come.
He'd been dozing when his shoulder was shaken in the dark.
On instinct, he moved away from the hand.
"Max," a female voice said in a whisper.
He sat up and moved away in suspicion.
“Who are you?” he asked, trying to see anything of her in the darkness.
"I came as soon as I could," she said, nudging him with a cold object.
He flinched.
"It's water," she said, pushing it into his arm again.
"Who are you? How did you get in here?" he croaked again.
"You won't remember me. Larek told you I would come," she said.
"You're not human," he asked.
"No," she answered. "I am like the one you know as Ed."
"Drink," she prompted, placing the flask into his hands.
For a moment he fought the urge to take the container, but his thirst won out.
He drank in long, deep swallows. The water seemed somehow thicker than the water on Earth, but otherwise was tasteless, just like the water he remembered.
"I can't stay," she said.
"They will be coming for you shortly. There is much I have to tell you, but I don't have the time now. Know this, you can't give in to Khivar's demands. I can help you, but you have to trust me," she said.
"I don't know who to trust anymore," Max said in a dull voice.
"I will do what I can to protect you. They don't know that I am here with you. Khivar's men are coming for you. Don't give up, at least not until you know the truth that they haven't told you. I will come to you tonight," she said.
"There is a chance you can get out of this alive, but you need to know everything first," she said.
"Don't provoke any of them, whatever you do," she warned.
“You will have no use of your powers until that bracelet comes off...”
Her voice faded and the cell fell silent.
“Wait!” he said.
His answer was silence. He reached out, trying to feel her presence, and the cell was suddenly lit, momentarily blinding him.
Before he had a chance to think about what she'd said, the guards were pulling him out of the cell.
He was dragged to a chamber and pushed roughly onto a table, his wrists shackled with metal bonds.
His head was secured to the table with a thick metal band, and he was left to lie there helpless. For long moments, he struggled to escape his bonds, but again, his powers were rendered useless.
A voice stilled his struggle.
"Hello Max," she said in a bored voice.
Tess.
“This looks so oddly familiar,” she taunted. “Bring back any memories?”
Max struggled against his bonds, knowing she was talking about his time spent in the compound.
"Have you had some time to think about giving up the Granolith?" she asked, pacing before him. He couldn't see her face, but he knew she was close.
He could almost sense her animosity, now tightly controlled.
“Have you come to gloat?” he asked, ignoring her question.
"How could you do this Tess? How could you turn on us? How could you betray your own people?" he asked.
She stopped and looked at him in disdain.
“Why? Why are you doing this?” he asked.
“This never would have happened if you'd only been more cooperative. You could have remained on Earth, safe, if you'd only seen things my way,” she said. “But you were always too stubborn, too caught up in weak human emotions. It wasn’t supposed to happen this way you know.”
"A child would have solved everything, but I'd completely given up on that, with your idiotic yearning for that weak human girl,” she huffed. “It was the biggest mistake you’d ever made.”
“A child would have set you free. You wouldn’t be here right now. A child would have made things so much easier. I know damned well you would have done anything to keep it alive, including the giving up Granolith. If you hadn't been so pig-headed, you would be on Earth, safe,” she said.
"It's all about power Max," Tess said, and her ice-blue eyes and blond hair came into view.
"That's the one thing you never understood. Lonnie and Rath understand it. Ed made sure that they were raised to understand it, like me. But you, you’re weak," she said.
She moved closer.
“Did you really think that you were in control of what went on from the moment we arrived in Roswell? We manipulated you, and you ate every word of it up. Did you really think I cared for you? You pined over mousy Liz Parker, and I let you, because it was convenient. It kept you distracted," she said.
He felt her cold hand on his arm, and a painful burst of energy crackled through his nervous system.
He felt the rage building in his heart. Her dismissal of the only thing that had kept him going throughout his lonely years fueled the anger he was feeling.
"You could never control me, or my feelings," he gasped, lifting his chin, unable to fully see her features after another jolt of energy set his nerve endings on fire.
"You're pathetic," she said in disgust. "But then again, you always were, even before you were ever born a human."
“I did control you, Max. I let you keep yourself distracted with Liz Parker, and when it interfered with my plans, I took care of it, just like I will take care of you,” she said.
"What are you talking about?” he asked, struggling against the steel bonds holding his body to the table.
A harsh laugh sprang from her lips as she circled the table.
“You stupid fool,” she spat. “You always underestimated me. You let your human emotions rule your head. It gave me the advantage though, didn’t it? If you hadn’t been so concerned with Liz Parker, you might have caught onto things.”
He again felt the strange pulling in his mind that he'd grown used to while in Roswell, and his thoughts again grew confused.
“The distraction was to my benefit for awhile,” she said. “You were just a back-up. But when Zan was no longer an option, then it became a thorn in my side. I didn’t think you were that much of a sap. Did you know that I arranged those summer classes she took the summer after graduation? I bet you didn’t. There were many others more qualified. She was smart, but not that smart. I thought that when Liz went away, you’d get over it. But you didn’t, did you?”
“No. You continued to ask about her at that tacky restaurant. You wanted her even after she was gone, even though you knew it was wrong, that you would have put her in danger. She might have never been yours, but she had your heart. I knew everything you were thinking, Max,” she said.
She was in his head. He recognized the pull for what it was. She was causing the addled feelings he'd been experiencing on and off ever since she and Ed had made an appearance.
"Get out of my head," he grated.
Focusing his meager energy, he pushed her out of his mind, and felt a small snap as she left it.
She laughed.
"I don't need to be in your head anymore Max," she said. "You're so predictable. You always were, especially when it came to Liz."
"Do you know how tired I was of having to wade through your pathetic longings? It got old, I decided to take care of that nuisance once and for all,” she whispered.
She leaned closer to his face.
"Didn't you wonder why the alarms never went off in the Crashdown the night of the fire, Max?" she asked, with feigned innocence.
The implications of what she was saying took a few seconds to set in. He simply could not believe that someone could be so evil.
"You didn't...you didn't kill Liz's parents," he said, doubt lacing his voice. "They were innocent. She was innocent."
"Didn't I?" she answered. "Your preoccupation with her became an annoyance. I just made sure that she was never coming back, and I made sure that you could never have her."
His eyes squeezed shut against the tears that were threatening to spill from them.
"It was actually quite brilliant if you think about it," she said, pulling away.
"I know you better than you know yourself. I know your weaknesses," she whispered in a seductive voice that made his blood turn to ice.
"You don't know me at all," he said in a voice trembling with rage.
"You were getting close to letting her know how you felt. I sensed your thoughts of her all the time, even after she left for Harvard. You were growing more bold, telling yourself that maybe, just maybe you might find the courage to act on your feelings when she came back," she said. "We couldn't have that, now could we? I couldn't take the chance that you would be that stupid. There would be too many questions," she said.
"So I just made sure it would never happen. I knew she wouldn't come back. And if she did, I had my trump card. You wouldn't have allowed yourself to become too close to her without telling her what you are. Who knows? Maybe she would have accepted it. She’s such a pushover. But would she have accepted that one of your own kind, one that you trusted, killed the two people she loved most in the world, because of you and what you are?" she asked.
He felt his whole body go cold. She had well and truly destroyed his life, and had prevented him from having any sort of future or happiness on Earth, had he had the courage to pursue it, and she’d destroyed Liz’s life. Liz who had been nothing more than a daydream to him.
What was even more reprehensible was that she did it to amuse herself.
This final piece of information was meant to break him, but they'd just made their first mistake.
A fire grew in his heart, a fire of rage. They would pay for what they'd done, for all the lies they'd told, for all the people they'd hurt. He would make them pay, or he would die trying.
"Khivar will get control of the Granolith, one way or another," she said. "My advice to you is to give him what he wants. I'll make sure that your death is quick. But if you resist him, there's nothing I can do for you."
****
Days later, he lay curled up on the floor of the cell, every bone and sinew aching. The torture had begun soon after that conversation with Tess. He'd been beaten almost beyond recognition, but they wouldn’t kill him. That he knew, not until they had what they wanted. But he didn't know how much more of it he would be able to take.
The owner of the voice in the darkness had not come, as she’d promised. Something in him sensed that he could trust her, but he was starting to think that something might have happened to her. Perhaps she’d met the same fate as Larek.
But she and Larek had been right not to trust Tess. His own instincts had told him not to trust her, and he’d ignored it.
He’d ignored a lot of things that were right in front of his eyes, and now it was too late to fix any of it. He’d said he wouldn’t help Khivar, but he knew sooner or later, Isabel and Michael would be in danger if he didn’t cooperate.
Khivar was holding that as his last resort, he knew, trying to beat him into submission, making him believe that they would be safe if he did as he was told. But it would eventually come down to their lives or the Granolith, and he knew it.
And he had no idea what he was going to do.
Until Sunday....