Persistence of Memory (CC ALL,TEEN) (Complete)

[cardinalgirl]

Thanks for the feedbacks, you guys are too good to me! lol Anyhow, as promised...


Part 31

“Maria DeLuca wants a small wedding?” Liz scoffed in mock-disbelief. It was Saturday, the four girls had kicked the men out and taken over the Evans’ apartment in order to go over the details of the much anticipated DeLuca/Guerin nuptuals. “Okay, who are you and what have you done with my best friend?”

Maria rolled her eyes. “Laugh it up, Parker. Yes, I’ll admit that in the past I was known to dream of a rather extravagant wedding—”

“The words ‘fountains of roses’ come to mind,” Liz cut in, raising an eyebrow.

“Oh I still want fountains of roses, don’t get me wrong. It’s just that now I’d be okay if they were in some small garden rather than in a huge cathedral somewhere.” Maria sighed. “Besides… there’s no point in a huge wedding when there’s no one to come. We barely have enough people for a wedding party, much less guests.”

“Well, I’m sure you could find people to invite…” Isabel trailed off, knowing that that wasn’t entirely likely.

Maria laughed. “Outside of the group I know three people in New York City, and I’m not inviting the mail guy from work to my wedding. He’d probably think I was hitting on him.” The girls laughed, which only made Maria frown more. “No, I’m serious… this guy’s creepy,” she stated, before breaking into a smile herself.

“You know, I just happened to have looked up the public gardens in the area,” Isabel said, rummaging through the expanding file folder of pamphlets she’d brought with her.

“Just like you happened to have a list of churches in the area subcategorized by size and parking availability?” Liz asked, smiling mischievously at her sister-in-law.

Isabel rolled her eyes. “Okay, like Maria said, it’s not like we’re going to have a crowd on our hands here, but I couldn’t help myself, parking spaces were the one complaint we got when Jesse and I—”

Isabel cut herself off abruptly. Jesse.

In that instant she knew that she wasn’t off the hook. Just because Alex had returned, it didn’t mean that she didn’t have to finally end things with her ex-husband. She’d been assuming, foolishly perhaps, that Alex coming back was the answer. As if it took care of everything. But of course it didn’t, did it?

Isabel suddenly realized that the other three girls were watching her carefully and she blushed apologetically, but they all went on as if nothing had happened. These women knew her well, she knew.

“Speaking of ex’s,” Maria said, cutting the silence and glancing at Ava, who’d been quiet all morning, out of the corner of her eye, “Kyle said he ran into Sara Wilkins the other day.”

“Sara Wilkins? Los Angeles Sara Wilkins?” Liz asked, surprised.

“Yeah, he said she just showed up at his office building. She was there on business or something, somebody’d mentioned to her that they had a new guy who’d just come in from LA, and it just happened to be Kyle.”

“That’s odd,” Isabel said, finally having recovered from her reflections. “Well did they get to talk?”

“Yeah,” Maria said, watching Ava’s face through her surprise and curiosity with interest. “I think he was glad to see her, but I could tell from what he said that she showed up at a kind of inopportune moment, I guess… I don’t know, he didn’t say much about it.”

“When was this?” Liz asked, and Ava was grateful that she hadn’t been forced to ask the question herself. She had a feeling that Maria was setting her up here, but she couldn’t full-out give in. It wasn’t that she didn’t trust these women, and she knew Maria probably had good intentions, but there were just too many complications for Ava.

“Wednesday, I think.”

Wednesday. Which had, of course, been the day that she’d planned on having lunch with him. She really had overreacted, behaved like a fool. Still, this didn’t change anything. While she obviously couldn’t hold it against Kyle that he’d canceled their lunch date, she also couldn’t go on making Kyle feel guilty over having a social life. How ridiculous was that, after all?

Ava was glad when the subject was turned back to wedding issues, bridesmaids dresses to be more precise. As Isabel and Liz went back and forth over which was more forbidden—sea-foam green or tangerine orange—and Maria was talking about different shades of blue, Ava came to a decision. Kyle would never stop feeling guilty about her if they continued to play the damsel in distress. Because Kyle liked being the knight in shining armor, that much he’d made clear. Maybe, if she didn’t need a knight, Kyle would give up.

*************

“I just had no idea it would be like this… I keep thinking of that part in Fifth Element where Lilu’s learning English by scanning through the encyclopedia and she’s learning about history and humanity and…” Alex trailed off at Isabel’s slightly confused expression. He’d been trying to explain his excitement over Czechoslovakian learning capabilities, but her face forced him to sidetrack. “Don’t tell me you’ve never seen Fifth Element.”

Isabel wrinkled her nose. “First of all, Bruce Willis isn’t exactly Brad Pitt. And second, anything that can lead Michael and Kyle to have an hour-long debate doesn’t really sound like my kind of movie,” she said, doubtfully.

Alex turned to Michael who was sitting on the other side of the room, and whose ears had perked up at the mention of the movie. “Hour-long debate?” Alex asked, impressed.

“We were talking about the importance of the diva,” Michael explained. “Kyle didn’t think she was a particularly imperative character. I disagreed.”

“Ah,” Alex nodded his understanding. He lifted one shoulder in a shrug. “Either way that fight scene would never be the same without her.”

“That we agreed on,” Michael grinned.

Alex turned back to Isabel, who now looked officially lost. “Really, Iz, you’ve got to see this movie.”

“Um,” was Isabel’s noncommittal response.

“No, really! I dragged Maria and Liz to the theater when it first came out, they both loved it. Honestly, it’s a total chick-flick… that just happens to have a lot of gunfire and heavy artillery mixed in.” She rolled her eyes and he grinned.

“So anyhow… what you’re saying is that studying for that GED test should be a snap now,” she said, trying to pull the topic off of old sci-fi movies.

“Yeah. I mean, I was a pretty fast learner before, but this whole advancement thing… it’s nice. You’re used to it, of course, but…” he shook his head in amazement. “This kind of learning ability and internet connections what they are nowadays… well I’ll be caught up on things in no time. Which reminds me… look at this.”

Alex got up from where he was sitting on the couch next to her, but returned soon, placing something on the coffee table in front of her. “It’s Liz’s laptop,” Isabel said, in an I-don’t-get-it voice.

“Yeah, but look,” he said, the excitement in his voice obvious as he touched the top corner of the screen, making a show of not pushing the on button. The small machine came to life before them. Isabel was about to tell him that they could all turn things on with their powers, but she stopped herself, and as she watched, he opened up a game of Solitaire and proceeded to win the game, all without moving his hand from the top corner of the laptop screen.

“What are you doing?” Isabel asked watching him.

“I’m playing with the electrons in the computer.”

“So you’re like… a human mouse?” she asked, not sure exactly what he meant.

“It’s more than that,” he said, as he went about opening and closing folders and even opened a document and started typing out the words to “American Pie”—all without touching the keyboard or the touch screen at that served in place of a mouse. “You see, it’s I’ve always understood how commands and mouse-clicks and things like that transferred to energy in theory, but now… it’s like I can actually feel it. I can feel how the electricity changes into colors and ideas and things on the screen…” he shook his head, not sure how to explain how indescribably cool this was for a computer junkie like himself.

“So… what does that mean?” she asked, obviously trying to be excited for him but not really knowing how, as she wasn’t much of a computer buff herself.

“Well, for one thing it means those Antarians are damn smart is what it means.” He grinned. “I’m assuming they did this on purpose, like how Max was designed to be a healer, etc. Or maybe it’s more of a personality thing, but anyhow… this basically means that once I get caught up on the updates in things like coding and the more technical stuff, I’ll be unstoppable. I mean, with insight like this I could create the most efficient computer ever. I mean… this is big. This is like Star Wars big. You have seen Star Wars, right?” he threw in sarcastically.

She returned his look blankly.

“Isabel!” Alex started, pulling away from her

She laughed, rolling her eyes. “Of course I’ve seen Star Wars, Alex.”

Alex made a dramatic showing of clutching at his chest and breathing heavily in a relief that Isabel suspected was only half in jest. “Don’t ever do that to me again!”

“Serves you right. I’m sorry, I’m just not used to having so many references to Sci-fi in one conversation. Were you this much of a geek in high school?” she asked, smiling at him sweetly.

“Yep,” Alex grinned, seeming to have managed a full recovery. “Hey, you’re the one who fell for me.”

Isabel’s smile widened. “I did, didn’t I?” She looked back at the laptop before them and grinned mischievously at him. “So, no more worries about being ‘hopelessly unemployable?’” she teased.

Alex smiled. “Nope, no more worries…”

“Good,” she smiled, leaning in to kiss him, when Michael cleared his throat suspiciously loudly. Isabel pulled away from Alex. “Don’t you have a fiancée somewhere to entertain?”

Michael grinned. “I do, don’t I?”

As Michael wandered off to find said fiancée, Alex pulled an arm around Isabel. “So, where were we?”

But now that Michael was gone Isabel seemed hesitant. “Alex, I’m really proud of you, and I’m glad that things are going to work out…”

“But?” he asked, withdrawing his arm as her pretty face formed into a frown.

At his slightly clipped tone she looked at him questioningly, and he shrugged. “Sorry, bad habit… that wasn’t a terribly encouraging tone of voice there…”

“Oh.” She couldn’t blame him, of course. She’d been depending on some form of Alex Whitman for years now, but he still had other memories fresh in his mind, memories of her turning him away for other men… Grant, that guy in Vegas… She wondered if this was the best idea after all.

Alex pulled her hand into his own, then. “I didn’t mean to scare you off there,” he said, his voice gentler, and Isabel realized he’d been watching her, waiting for her to go on.

“I just… I was just going to ask you a favor,” she said finally.

He grinned. “Is that all?”

“Yeah… I mean, it shouldn’t be very hard, and I could probably do it myself, but you’re better at these sorts of things… and honestly, I’d rather if you were helping me.”

He squeezed her hand. “Well, you know me, Alex Whitman, willing and eager to serve.”

She smiled her thanks for the sentiment, but still looked a bit doubtful. “I don’t know if you should say that until you know what I’m asking you to do.”

Alex seemed unconcerned. “What is it you want me to do?”

“I need you to help me find Jesse.”

[cardinalgirl]

A/N: Look, see! Proof that I haven't completely abandoned you all! Thanks so much for your patience, guys, and for all your support.


Part 32

“She asked you to find Jesse?” Maria demanded in a contemptuous tone, as the three friends sat on Liz’s couch on Maria’s day off. There was a movie running on the TV, but no one was paying any attention to it.

Alex tried not to cringe. Yes, telling Maria had been a mistake, not that it was avoidable. “Maria, it’s not that big a deal.”

“Not that big a deal? Alex, this is huge. This is monumental, it’s gigantic, it’s—”

“Okay, Maria, I think he gets the point,” Liz cut in, trying not to smile at her friend’s antics, and shooting an apologetic look at Alex, who shrugged.

“I just don’t understand how she could say something like that to you,” Maria huffed. “I mean, how could she—”

“Ask me to help her locate the man she was legally wed to who she hasn’t seen in years?” Alex asked. “What’m I supposed to do, say no? ‘Sorry, Isabel, I refuse to help you find the one man who’s ever had more of a claim to you than I have.’ I don’t think so,” he said, rolling his eyes at the thought.

“Alex, that’s not true, you know that… I mean Jesse… he was just a replacement for you.”

Alex laughed, though Isabel had more than told him that herself. “Right… thanks, Parker.”

Liz pushed him lightly. “I’m serious,” she frowned at him, and he smiled at her reassuringly.

“So you’re really going to do it?” Maria asked, then, biting her lip and watching her friend’s face.

Liz, likewise was watching Alex. “You’ve already done it, haven’t you?”

Alex looked between the two girls sitting on either side of him, and he almost laughed. The worried way they were looking at him was probably uncalled for, but he had a feeling that they’d missed worrying over him for a long time, and so now that he’d come to them to complain, they were laying it on the concern as thick as they could. It was kind of nice, really.

“Yeah… well, it didn’t take long,” he shrugged, as if it was nothing. And honestly, he didn’t know what to think of it.

The other day after she’d asked him, he’d gone onto the internet and found the information she’d needed in less than half an hour. He’d given Isabel the sheets of paper he’d printed, the information he’d found, and walked out of the room. He’d told himself that he’d done it in order to respect her privacy, to respect her decision to do with the information what she chose.

He knew that wasn’t how she’d taken it, though. Even as he was walking away from her, he knew how she was looking after him, heartbroken with her own guilt, but making herself accept him distancing himself from this.

She was like that sometimes. She’d face this all on her own if he asked her to leave him out of it, no matter how much she wanted his support. It was the exact reason that he was willing to go through it all with her.

“Alex? Did you hear me?” Maria’s voice broke into his thoughts, and he raised a questioning look to her as she continued. “Is she going to talk to him?”

Alex lifted one shoulder in a shrug. She hadn’t said anything to him, of course, he hadn’t really given her the chance. But he knew that she would. There was no other reason for locating him.

Maria shrugged then, with some finality. “Doesn’t matter, really. Jesse’s married, Isabel’s in love with you, story over.”

Alex laughed. “Yeah, hopefully.” He smiled and pulled an arm around each girl. “And if not, I’ve still got two of the loveliest ladies in the universe to keep me company when I’m low.”

Liz and Maria laughed, but Liz rolled her eyes. “‘Loveliest ladies in the universe?’ Don’t you think that’s a bit excessive?”

Alex shook his head. “You’ve got to learn how to take a compliment, Liz. Besides, I do believe that I’m the only one of us who’s ever seen another part of the universe. I’d like to think that I’m the authority on the issue.”

The three laughed again, and the girls gave each other a satisfied look. No matter what happened with Isabel, Alex would be okay.

*************

Kyle knocked on Liz and Max’s apartment door. He just couldn’t take it anymore. Maria had told him that the girls had managed to explain to Ava who Sara was as well as they could, but he hadn’t had a chance to apologize to her himself yet.

He was still coming up against some kind of mental wall when he tried to reach out to her, too. If not for that, he would have been wheedling her mercilessly until she’d forgiven him. Well, wheedling and groveling. And begging.

What was really getting to him, though, was that even though he knew that she now understood about Sara, he had no idea what her reaction to it all had been. He didn’t know if she was relieved, upset… But Liz talked to Ava all the time. She had to know something.

So, understandably, Kyle was a little put-out when Max opened the door.

Max raised an eyebrow, a little surprised at his guest. “Hey, Kyle… what’s up?”

“Is… uh, is Liz here?”

Max shook his head, gesturing to where Zac and Alexander were playing video games. “No, it’s just me and the boys right now. I think she’s out with Ava and Isabel. Did you want to come in?”

Kyle hesitated. He and Max had been on good terms for years, of course, but weren’t best friends by any means. “I… was just going to talk to Liz…”

“Anything I can help with?” Max asked, and Kyle was almost surprised that he looked like he really wanted to. Evans was a good guy, after all.

Kyle shrugged. “I guess I was just looking for advice…” he trailed off. He wasn’t about to tell Max Evans that he was looking for tips with—

“Women?” Max guessed, and Kyle frowned at him. Max just shrugged, and glanced back at the boys again, or more precisely, at Zac. “Or, should I say one particular woman who’s out with my sister and my wife at the moment?”

Kyle smiled, finally. “I guess I’m pretty obvious, huh?”

Max nodded, a good-natured smirk on his face. He looked at the boys for a moment, and then stepped into the hall with Kyle, mostly shutting the behind him. “So what’s up with you two? If you don’t mind me asking?”

Kyle shrugged. “I don’t know, actually. That’s what I was going to ask Liz.”

Max raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”

Again Kyle shrugged, “I haven’t been able to talk to her since the other day… she saw me with an old friend…”

“Oh, that’s right, Sara from L.A. Liz was telling me.”

“Yeah, and Ava kind of got the wrong idea…”

“And you want to know how she’s taking it?”

Kyle nodded. “Well, that and some other stuff… there’s just… there’s a lot of complications there, you know? With… Tess… and Zac…” Kyle could hardly believe he was saying all of this to Señor Presidente himself, but after that last sentence Max was nodding in earnest. And suddenly it hit Kyle. Of course Max would know about the complications Ava and Zac brought along with them… The guy was the kid’s father, after all.

“I guess this is all kind of weird for you too, isn’t it?”

Max’s shoulders slumped then, and he leaned against the wall. “You have no idea. Especially with Zac. I try talking to him, getting to know him… but I get the idea that he doesn’t really want anything to do with me.”

Kyle laughed. “Well, you’re not the only one there… I think the kid hates me. I don’t even know what I did…”

Max shrugged. “Well, you’re after his mom, maybe he’s just jealous…”

Kyle shook his head. “I don’t know, it feels like it’s more than that…” he shrugged.

Max thought for a moment and was about to say something when they heard laughter and turned to see Ava and Liz looking at them questioningly.

“Are you boys staging a coup, or what?”

Max rolled his eyes and greeted Liz with a kiss, but Kyle felt incredibly awkward to suddenly be face to face with the woman he and Max had been discussing. He heard Max asking where Isabel was, and Liz explaining that she had some other errands, but he could barely process the information.

“Ava… hi,” he fumbled.

To his surprise, though, she just smiled sweetly at him. “Hi, Kyle. How’re you?”

Kyle blinked. She was speaking to him! And smiling at him! “I’m good,” he managed, when he found his voice again. He heard a door shut and was surprised to find that Liz and Max had gone inside, leaving them to themselves. “Listen… I wanted to apologize about the other week. Sara was just an old friend, she was nothing… I mean, she was just a friend.”

“Really? That’s too bad, she was cute.”

Kyle’s head snapped up to look at her. “What?”

Ava shrugged. “I said she was cute. Kyle, I’m so sorry I overreacted the other day. I really don’t know what came over me. I mean, you’ve been such a good friend to me lately, and then I just blow up on you. I’m really sorry.”

Kyle stared at her, unable to work the machinery of his mouth. Such a good friend. No! That wasn’t what she was supposed to be saying!

“No, Ava, don’t even… I mean… I thought…”

But Ava was glancing at her watch. “Kyle, I’m sorry, I should really be getting Zac back home pretty soon, it’s getting kind of late.”

Kyle took a step back at her brusque tone. She wasn’t… she was. She was brushing him off. “Oh, well… I was just, uh…” he nodded towards his own apartment door, and she smiled at him.

“Okay, then. I’ll talk to you later then, I guess,” she said, squeezing his arm lightly as he turned and went into the apartment, confused, and more than a little miffed.

He didn’t see Ava sagging against the wall as soon as the door closed behind him. The perplexed look on his face, the slight hurt she’d seen in his eyes, had almost been enough for her to cut the act, but she was doing this for him anyhow… she had to remember that. She was giving him a way out, before she got in too deep.

As she turned to follow Max and Liz into their apartment, she tried to ignore the little voice in the back of her head. Get real, Ava. You’re already in over your head.

[cardinalgirl]

A/N: Okay, so I probably don't really have this much time on my hands, but I figured, it's the weekend, so... And this has nothing to do with me still feeling bad about keeping this from you for so long before. Honest. lol


Part 33

“Dammit!” Kyle muttered, as the door shut behind him.

“Hey, I thought you were supposed to be above things like swearing, Grasshopper.”

Kyle jumped slightly, surprised to see Alex sitting on the couch, watching him. “What are you doing here?”

Alex gestured at the bowl in his hands. “Eating cereal.”

Kyle rolled his eyes. “No, Alex, I mean, what are you doing here? Why aren’t you next door?”

“Oh,” Alex nodded in recognition. “Uh… Isabel called while she was out with the girls,” he said quickly, looking away as if avoiding eye contact. “She… uh, she said I wasn’t allowed in my room until she called me back…”

Kyle laughed outright at Alex’s bashful look, forgetting for a moment his own dilemma. “You’ve really got that woman under your thumb, don’t you?”

Alex glared at Kyle. “Okay, go ahead, Valenti. Make your jokes. I’m whipped, I’m pathetic, I’m on a short leash, whatever… Believe me, it’s all gone through my head already. But what am I supposed to do? Isabel’s going through some stuff right now… I can’t afford to mess up with her right now,” he finished, in an upset tone.

Kyle’s smile faded at Alex’s words, and he dropped himself on the chair next to the couch. “I’m sorry, Alex… I’m a moron. I’ve just had a bad day… I say really stupid things when I have bad days.”

Alex shrugged. “Don’t worry about it.” He ate the last few bites of his cereal and set down the bowl, turning to Kyle. “So what’s got you coming in swearing, oh Enlightened One?”

Kyle rolled his eyes again. “What’s with all the Buddha jokes?”

Alex quirked a grin. “I missed how many years of harmlessly teasing you for your unlikely beliefs, okay, what can you expect? Now give it up. What’s wrong?”

Kyle sighed. “It’s Ava. She’s driving me crazy.”

“And by crazy you mean in love.”

Kyle frowned at him. “So what, everybody knows?”

Alex smiled. “Sorry to burst your bubble.” Kyle groaned in frustration and Alex laughed. “I wouldn’t worry about it too much… she seems pretty wrapped-up in you, too.”

Kyle shook his head. “You wouldn’t say that if you’d seen her just a couple minutes ago in the hall.”

“Oh yeah? Why’s that?”

Kyle shrugged, and Alex had to force himself not to laugh again. He imagined Kyle’s “sulky face” hadn’t changed much since the guy was four years old. “She just… totally blew me off. There was this whole misunderstanding between us and I was trying to explain, but she wouldn’t even listen to me. It was really weird, too. She was acting like she wasn’t even bothered by it anymore, like she never even was bothered by it. And she was definitely bothered by it when it happened.”

Alex shrugged. “She probably talked to the girls and they set her straight.”

Kyle thought over the short encounter, the brusqueness of it, and shook his head. “Nah… it wasn’t what she was saying so much as how she was saying it. She was talking to me like I was some random acquaintance of hers or something… She was trying to make it really obvious that I didn’t have any reason to apologize to her… like we weren’t that connected or something.”

“Oh…” Alex said, smiling all of a sudden in a comprehending, isn’t-that-cute way.

Kyle frowned at him. “What? What’s with the smile?”

Alex just shook his head. “Yeah, I really wouldn’t worry about, Kyle.”

“What? What are you talking about? I just said she’s treating me like she barely knows me.”

Alex nodded. “Yeah, don’t worry about it. Believe me. It’s a trick.”

Kyle sat up straight, his disbelief was obvious from his face alone. “It’s a trick? How do you know?”

Alex laughed at Kyle’s incredulous features. “Dude, Liz and Maria did that all the time in high school. Max or Michael’d do something stupid and they’d start treating them like they were service boys or something…” Alex smiled embarrassedly. “In fact, now that I think about it, I guess Isabel used it on me once or twice, too. Anyhow, the point is… all three of them caved after a couple days, most of the time.”

Kyle sank back into his chair, mulling over this new revelation. Finally, he shook his head. “Sheesh… the female of the species…”

“More deadly than the male,” Alex agreed soberly.

The two shared a short laugh, which was interrupted by someone knocking on the door lightly. The door opened to show Isabel Evans, smiling seductively and quirking a finger at Alex.

Alex grinned at Kyle. “And on to my doom,” he murmured, so that Isabel couldn’t hear.

Kyle laughed, rolling his eyes, but the more he thought about it, everything Alex had said to him made sense. Ava was doing all of this deliberately, either to deny herself or save herself, he didn’t know which, and it didn’t matter so much. It was exactly the sort of thing she would do. As Alex had already pointed out, it could only last so long before the act failed. And he was sure that he could think of some way to make her give in sooner rather than later.

As a plan started to form in his mind, an irrepressible grin appeared on Kyle’s face. This could be fun.

*************

Alex had been building up an annoyance with Isabel since the other day when she’d dropped her sudden request on him. He’d been able to keep it underhand most of the time, but he wouldn’t have lasted much longer, as Kyle had inadvertently proved when he’d laughed at Alex for being so much at Isabel’s beck-and-call.

But the moment she’d opened the door, smiling at him in that beguiling way, her eyes gleaming like a child’s, all that frustration disappeared, every drop of the latent emotion seeming to have evaporated.

It was something in the way she smiled, eager to please, but with a covered-over nervousness, when she took his hand and led him to his room.

“Isabel, what’s going on?” he asked, unable to keep a smile from his lips, but she just shook her head at him, stopping in front of his door in Max and Liz’s apartment.

She had some kind of surprise for him, that much was clear by her demeanor, but he had no idea what. “You’re not trying to seduce me, are you?”

She giggled. “Don’t you wish,” she said. “Close your eyes.”

Alex obediently shut his eyes, and listened as she opened the door. She led him a few paces into the room before letting him open his eyes, and when he did, he felt his mouth fall open of its own accord.

There, sitting on his bed, was one of the most beautiful rosewood-and-mahogany guitars he’d ever seen in his life.

“A peace offering,” she said softly, in explanation. “I know I’ve been putting you through a lot the past couple days and…” she shrugged.

“Isabel…” Alex gasped. “I…”

“I hope it’s okay,” she interrupted, pulling at her necklace in a nervous manner he found rather cute. “I really don’t know anything about guitars, so I talked to the manager of the store, and he helped me pick it out. If… if you want we could take it back and trade it for—”

Alex surprised her by taking the initiative and pulling her close to him, kissing her deeply, and effectively cutting short her rambling. Isabel was so caught off guard that she jumped and almost pulled away, but Alex was thankfully holding her in place.

“She’s gorgeous, Isabel. Don’t you dare even think of taking her back,” he said when they came up for air. He gave her another peck and then sat down on the bed, having her sit next to him. He touched the guitar lightly, almost reverently. “She had to have cost you a fortune, though…” he started, but she shook her head resolutely.

“Don’t you even dare say you don’t deserve it or you didn’t do anything for it, Alex. You don’t need to.”

“But Isabel—”

“Just think how many Christmases and birthdays we missed, Alex. This is nothing.” She smiled. “Besides. You needed a guitar.”

He didn’t even bother arguing that point. He’d been missing his guitar ever since he’d been back.

“And you promised Zachary and Alexander guitar lessons. You can’t exactly do that without a guitar, can you?”

He rolled his eyes at her. “You’re not even giving me a chance to argue here, Iz,” he laughed.

She smiled delightedly. “And I don’t intend to.” Now that the game was over, though, the sparkle was fading from her eyes rather quickly. Unfortunately they had other things to discuss. “I made an appointment with Jesse’s secretary today…” she started, as he started fiddling with the guitar, plucking and tuning.

He looked up at her questioningly, unobtrusively. “Oh yeah?”

She nodded, biting her lip, looking like a nervous little girl once again. “I was… wondering if you would come with me.”

Alex hesitated. “Isabel… you don’t have to do that. I trust you, you know?”

She nodded. “No, I know that. I’m not doing it for you, I’m doing it for me. I think I need you there.”

“So, uh… this is a bribe, then?” he teased, gesturing towards the guitar.

Isabel, however, missed the glint in his eyes and shook her head frantically. “No, no, of course not. Alex I would never—”

He laughed, surprising her. “Don’t worry, Isabel. I know that, I was kidding.”

Isabel took a deep breath, relieved, but not unburdened. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to, of course.”

Alex watched her silently for a few moments. “Isabel, I know that you’ve got to… I don’t know, close off that section of your life or something, but—”

Isabel looked at him sharply, and comprehension dawning. “Alex, that’s not what this is about, at all.”

Alex raised a questioning eyebrow. “It’s not?”

She shook her head. “No,” she assured him, but as he continued to look at her doubtfully, she explained. “Alex, that part of my life was ‘closed off’ as you put it the moment you showed up in my bedroom and woke me up. At least on my end.”

Alex set the guitar aside and turned so he was fully facing her. “Okay…?” he said, encouraging her to expand on that.

Isabel sighed. “What I hadn’t told you… I guess I forgot, I don’t know… was that Jesse has been feeling guilty for moving on with his life. I’ve kept an eye on him over the years… dreamwalking him… and he still worries about what he would say to me if we’d ever meet. I realized the other day, that I don’t have any right to be holding that over him, especially now that you’re back in my life. And so I asked you to help me look for him. When we first came to New York I thought it was just something that would happen or not, you know? If I ran into him in the street somewhere I’d just tell him that he was off the hook…”

“But?”

Isabel shrugged. “But I did run into him in the street, almost, and instead of talking to him I made Ava hide us so that I wouldn’t have to…” she blushed, but looked at him even more determinedly. “You see, that’s why I have to do this, I have to go into it prepared… And I’d like to have you there with me.” She looked at him hopefully.

Alex contemplated her words for a few minutes. “So you’re going to say goodbye to Jesse so that he can get on with his life?” he asked, for clarification.

She nodded. “More or less. I mean, he obviously has moved on, but I need to do this… to set him free. Put him at peace.”

Alex nodded, understanding it better than he might have wanted to, even. Finally he smiled at her, even though they’d both already known he was going to give in. “So when exactly is this appointment for?”

Isabel squealed her appreciation and threw her arms around him, hugging him tightly, and he laughed, pulling his arms around her likewise. She pulled back slightly so that her forehead rested on his, and kissed him lightly. “What did I ever do to deserve you?”

He laughed. “Well, that really is a beautiful guitar…”

[cardinalgirl]

A/N: Well, here it is, the long-awaited... Thanks for the feedback, you guys are great!


Part 34

“Will that be all this morning, Mr. Ramirez? Sir?”

Jesse shook his head, as if clearing it. He focused in on the twenty-something girl behind the kiosk, who he saw almost everyday in the lobby for his morning brew. She was holding out an insulated cup and looking at him questioningly.

Jesse smiled, embarrassed. “Sorry, Julie,” he said, as he reached for the cup and handed her a five dollar bill. “It’s gonna be a long day, I can tell.”

Julie smiled her understanding as she counted out his change, handing it over to him. “Have a nice day, Mr. Ramirez.”

Jesse nodded, yawning, and made his way to the elevator. His son Jeremy had been up with an earache most of the night, and he’d wanted Hilary to get some rest, she’d been exhausted lately.

By the time he got to the thirty-second floor where his office was, the caffeine had started to kick in, but that wasn’t that that had him on alert. There was something in the air that morning. He’d been feeling it in his gut since he’d woken up, but the feeling came to a head when a man in the waiting area caught his eye.

Before he realized it, he was staring. It was a young man, thirty at the oldest, Caucasian, dark hair. The young man was flipping through a magazine nervously, and Jesse wondered what he was doing there; they specified in criminal defense, and he looked like the most illegal thing he’d done in his life was stealing hand towels from hotels. Then again, if anyone knew that looks could be deceiving, it was Jesse Ramirez.

Jesse could almost swear that he’d seen this man before, but he couldn’t connect the face to a place or time.

“Jesse, you’ve got a potential client in your office.”

The voice snapped Jesse out of his musings. “Oh yeah? Hey, thanks, Carl.”

His co-worker grinned at him. “You bet you’ll thank me… tall, blonde… it’s a shame you’re married, my friend.”

Jesse laughed, as he swung the door to his office open, “Yeah, very happily married, remember that,” he called back to Carl who was walking away. But the woman’s voice that answered him from inside the office made him freeze.

“I’m really glad to hear that.”

That voice. It was smooth like liquid amber, simultaneously gentle and firm, emotive and impassive. There was no mistaking that voice. Jesse took a breath, almost afraid to turn around, to see that she was really there, in his office.

His first wife, his first “happily ever after.” He released his breath, but didn’t turn around.

“Isabel…”

For a moment his mind ran over that short segment in his life, that part that was so much like a dream now…

It had been too good to be true, of course. His comfortable home, his trophy wife… The perfect life he’d situated for himself so quickly had turned out having more than a few holes in it, some of which proved unfixable. Not the least of which had to do with the fact that his beautiful, doting wife had another side to her—what you might call a three-foot-tall-and-green side.

He turned slightly, could see her from the corner of his eye. She was standing with her back to him, looking out of his window. It was true, she was here. “Listen, Isabel…”

She turned towards him, interrupting him. “You have a wife, you have a son. I know that, Jesse. That’s not why I’m here.”

He turned, fully facing her finally, and was amazed to see that she was smiling. Not sure of what to say, Jesse simply took in the sight of her. She was blonde now, he saw. He’d seen pictures of her that way before, but he’d never seen it in firsthand. Her features had hardly changed at all, but there was something in her demeanor… something older, more mature. Sadder, maybe, but more content.

“You look amazing, Isabel,” he said, and it was true, of course. She’d always looked amazing.

She smiled, but it wasn’t the blushing, flattered smile he remembered, it was more a friendly, gracious smile. “I’m happy, Jesse,” she acknowledged.

He heard her unspoken meaning, also. She was finally happy.

“You’re… staying in New York, then?” he asked. It was the most inane thing he possibly could have said.

“Yes. All of us… we’ve been here for a few months now.”

“Yeah?” he asked, surprised. The fact that she’d been there for that long and had only come to him now… Had she not been able to find him before? Or had she just not bothered until then? Not cared? The thought almost made him angry, but then he realized how ridiculous he was being. He was the one who had given up on her, after all.

And then the guilt from giving up on her swept over him, as it had periodically for years now. “Isabel, I’m so sorry,” he started. “I’m sorry I didn’t wait for you… I just… I didn’t know if it would ever…” he looked around the room as if searching for words there. “I needed my life, Isabel…”

His words brought tears to her eyes, which almost broke his heart. Despite the fact that he’d really barely known her when they were married, he had cared for her, and the fact that he was hurting her now was killing him. He’d hoped that this day would never come.

And then, to his surprise, Isabel was shaking her head. “No, Jesse, it’s me who should apologize.” She bit her lip for a minute, then took a deep breath. “Jesse… I know you’ve been worrying about me for a long time… ever since we left Roswell…”

“Well Isabel, of course…”

But she held a hand up, stopping him. “Please just let me… I needed to apologize to you about that. I know that you’ve felt… responsible for me in a way… you made me keep my wedding ring and promised that you’d wait for me, even though we both know that that was too much to ask of you…”

Jesse was shaking his head. “No. No, Isabel. You have to know what an amazing woman you are.”

She stopped him again. “Jesse, it’s okay. I’m not mad at you… I’m not hurt, even. Maybe I was, before, but…”

Jesse frowned. “Wait… before? What are you talking about?” And then his eyes widened in understanding. “You’ve been watching me, haven’t you?” He was surprised that he wasn’t angry at the invasion of privacy. Then again, this woman had been his wife.

Isabel did blush then, though. “I… I’ve been checking up on you over the years in your dreams… I just wanted to know you were okay,” she mumbled.

Jesse was surprised at that, and almost sad. She’d seen his dreams, but she’d never revealed herself to him… He knew that it was for safety reasons, but still, it felt as if she hadn’t trusted him enough. Not that he could blame her too much… he never exactly handled her secrets well.

“Well… I am okay,” Jesse said finally. And he was. He was more than happy with his wife Hilary, and he was a father now, which amazed him to no end.

Isabel was smiling. “I know you are. But I needed you to know that I’m okay too. You don’t have to worry about me anymore, Jesse. I know you’ve felt guilty for moving on, but you did have to get on with your life. I’m glad you did.”

The look on her face showed him that it was true, too. She was happy for him. The relief from that almost made him grin, but then he remembered himself. “And you, Isabel? You said you were happy…?”

She laughed lightly at his unasked question. “Don’t worry, Jesse, I’m being taken care of.”

Jesse nodded, and then glanced in the direction of the waiting area. “That—that man in the foyer. He’s waiting for you, isn’t he?”

The blushing, irrepressible smile that lit up Isabel’s face then was enough of an answer, but she nodded. “Yes. His name is Alex Whitman, and—”

“Alex Whitman?” Jesse couldn’t help but interrupt. “Wasn’t he… I mean…”

Isabel’s eyes widened. “Of course. You knew about Alex, didn’t you?” she asked, in an almost detached way. For Jesse, it was proof of how unreal their short time together had been for her. Of course he knew about Alex Whitman, the boyfriend who’d “died” the spring before they’d met. She’d never even spoken to him about Alex, it had been one subject she’d been completely unwilling to let him in on. One of the many, as it had turned out, of course.

“But, Isabel, I thought Alex… I mean…” he stopped himself, suddenly understanding. There were otherworldly influences at hand here. He shook his head, wearily. It was way too early in the morning for this. “Do I even want to know?”

Isabel laughed again. “Probably not… Suffice it to say that he found his way back to us.”

“Back to you, you mean.”

She smiled again, then, and there was a softness in her eyes that he’d never seen before. “Yes, he found his way back to me.”

Jesse thought back to the tall young man he’d seen furiously flipping through a magazine, hardly processing a word. Somehow, he wasn’t at all surprised that Isabel’s true love was just a normal guy. The alien princess with an average joe… it was fitting somehow.

“Do I get to meet him?”

She almost looked surprised that he was asking. “Of course. If you want to…”

Jesse laughed. “Yeah, of course…”

Isabel excused herself for a moment, and Jesse fell into his chair behind his desk, shaking his head in amazement. Here he was, sitting waiting for his ex-wife to introduce him to her previously-deceased old boyfriend. Like many of his experiences with Isabel Evans, he had to admit that this meeting was bizarre.

*************

“Are you nervous?”

“Don’t be silly. Why should I be? What about you, are you nervous?”

“N-no. Of course not.”

“You’ll be fine.”

“How do I look?”

“Entirely too beautiful for my liking.”

“Excuse me?”

“What? I don’t want this guy falling for you all over again.”

“Alex, don’t be ridiculous. He’s married.”

Alex had been replaying their conversation from that morning over and over in his head as he sat waiting for Isabel. Jesse must have passed him already and Alex hadn’t seen him, because it was almost a quarter past eight and Isabel’s appointment had been for eight o’clock.

Despite her insistence that she was fine, she’d clung to his hand on the ride over, and he’d focused every ounce of his being on sending her positive, calming vibes of encouragement, pushing his own feelings to the far back of his mind. She was afraid that Jesse would be angry about the dreamwalking, that he would ask her to leave and not come back, that he hadn’t forgiven her for leaving him.

Alex knew that she’d be fine. After all, she was Isabel Evans, queen of cool. He had no such confidence concerning himself. He’d lied to her when he’d said he wasn’t nervous that morning. After all, Isabel had always been interested in older men, had been drawn to them, who was to say that she’d changed? And so Jesse was married. Did that really mean he was over Isabel? Because Alex knew that as far as he himself was concerned, nothing could ever happen that would get him over Isabel.

Even if she wanted to… say… go back to her ex-husband…

Just as the thought came to him and he was dismissing it as irrational, Isabel appeared before him. She didn’t look distracted or upset, as he might have expected, and she was most certainly smiling at him.

“Isabel?”

Without preamble or explanation Isabel took hold of his hand and pulled him to a standing position. “Come with me.”

Alex stood, but did not follow her as she was walking away from him. “Wait, Isabel.”

She stopped abruptly, and suddenly she looked guilty. For a panic-stricken moment Alex was sure that she was deciding on Jesse after all. When she spoke, though, it was clear that she was still feeling guilty for forcing his involvement in this. “He wanted to meet you. Is that okay?” she asked, almost sounding like a child.

Alex took a breath of relief then, and pulled her into a quick hug, kissing her forehead. “Of course it’s okay.”

Isabel smiled gratefully at him and led him the short distance to Jesse’s office. Jesse, a Hispanic man in his mid-to-late thirties was waiting for them, a somewhat bewildered look on his face. Alex couldn’t blame him, he’d had quite a bomb dropped on him just now.

Taking the initiative, Alex stepped forward, holding his hand out to the other man. “Hi, Alex Whitman,” he said, with a little more confidence than he felt.

“So I’ve heard,” Jesse smiled. “Jesse Ramirez, nice to meet the man I was stepping in for.”

Alex raised an eyebrow at Isabel, who just smiled at him and took his hand, pulling it around her waist. Jesse eyed the movement with a spark of something not-quite jealous in his eyes. “You’re an incredibly lucky man, Alex.”

The look made Alex pull Isabel closer against his side, and he smiled. “That’s an understatement.” He considered thanking Jesse for taking care of Isabel when he’d been gone, but decided against it. It would only end up sounding trite if he tried it, and he didn’t really believe that Jesse had “taken care of” Isabel, not really.

And suddenly Alex understood what Isabel had been trying to tell him from the beginning. As much as she might have cared for this man at the time, in the scheme of things, Jesse Ramirez had been a means to an end. Not that Isabel would articulate it that way, but it was true, as far as Alex was concerned. She had needed somebody to turn to that summer, and Jesse had been it. The fact that they had ended up married… it was practically a fluke.

So as Jesse went on asking Isabel about the group, catching up and making sure that everybody was okay, Alex felt his reservations towards the older man fade away. Jesse had known Isabel for a grand total of eleven months more than ten years ago. When you put it that way, Jesse Ramirez didn’t seem like much of a threat at all.

Before Alex knew it, Jesse was giving them a tour of the pictures set around his office, with Isabel ooh and ahh-ing more over every picture of his son Jeremy that they saw, who, Alex had to admit, had the most curly black hair he’d ever seen on an infant, ever.

And his wife was a knockout. Nothing compared to Isabel, of course, but that was one more thing to convince Alex that he had nothing to worry about. Jesse was obviously very much in love with his wife and son.

Isabel told Jesse that Michael and Maria were finally getting married, which Jesse laughed outright at, earning that much more of Alex’s respect.

“You’ll come, won’t you?”

Jesse looked hesitant. “Well… yeah… if that’s okay… I mean…”

Isabel nodded. “You should. I’m sure everyone would love to see you, and I’d love to meet Hilary and Jeremy…”

Isabel was interrupted by a buzzing sound. “Mr. Ramirez? You’re nine o’clock is here.”

Jesse looked startled, as if he’d forgotten he was even at work. He pressed a button on his phone. “Thanks, Wendy, I’ll be with them in a minute.” He sent Isabel an apologetic look. “Sorry, Isabel. I’m afraid I’ve got to kick you out.”

“Oh, don’t worry about it,” Isabel said, picking up her purse and moving towards the door, with Alex following suit. “And Jesse, I’m sorry we just dropped in on you like this…”

“Oh, no, no. Don’t worry about it. I’m glad you did.”

Isabel smiled. “Yeah, I’m glad we did too.” She gave him a quick hug as she and Alex moved towards the door.

“It was nice meeting you, Alex.”

“Yeah, you too,” Alex nodded, and Jesse shook his hand again.

He escorted them out to the elevator, but just Isabel was about to push the down button, Jesse stopped her hand.

“Isabel… you know… I don’t know that we’ll be able to go the wedding…” he said quietly, apologetically.

Isabel looked sad, but not surprised. She nodded. “I know, Jesse,” she said, reaching out to squeeze his hand in understanding. This day had been an ending, for both of them. There were some things you just needed to leave in the past.

“Hey,” Jesse said, addressing Alex then, who looked at him questioningly. “Take care of her.”

Alex nodded solemnly. “That’s a promise.”

When the elevator doors closed behind them, Isabel threw her arms around Alex’s neck and buried her face in his chest. This last burden of hers had finally been lifted, and it had left her all but shaking with relief. He held her all thirty-two floors down.

[cardinalgirl]

AN: Okay, so this is an incredibly short part, especially considering I've been MIA for so long... But I'll be back in a few days with another part... And... you'll see why this part really couldn't be added to... Thanks again for the support on the awards... I'm still amazed about all that. And thanks for being so patient with me


Part 35

“So… do you want me to hail a cab?”

Isabel looked up almost startled. Despite the fact that she’d been holding tightly to his hand, Alex got the feeling that she’d almost forgotten that he was there.

They’d been wandering aimlessly a bit after leaving Jesse, but neither of them had spoken a word since the meeting ended. Isabel had been trying to wrap her mind around the fact that everything with Jesse was really over… While there was sadness in saying goodbye to him, she felt like something inside of her had broken loose of its chains, and she was finally free. It was exhilarating.

Alex had been waiting patiently for some kind of sign that she was ready to talk, and one look at him showed her how worried he was at her silence. His simple concern was enough to overwhelm her at the moment. The way Alex cared about her… took care of her… Would she ever be able to show him how much she loved him?

Quietly she pulled his arm around her waist, snuggling into his side. “Is it okay if we just walk for a bit?” she asked softly.

In response, he pulled her in closer to himself and kissed her on the forehead. It was the second time he’d done that this morning, and it reminded her of… something. She couldn’t quite place it. It was like a dream that she’d barely forgotten…

The thought vanished from her mind, though, as she caught sight of a huge building of granite and stained glass, bringing Isabel, and consequently Alex, to a halt.

Alex looked at her, worried. “Uh, Iz? What’s wrong?” he glanced at the large gothic church she was staring at. “Isabel?”

“What is this place?”

Alex’s eyebrows raised. “A church?” he offered, suddenly not sure about what was going on.

As he watched, Isabel’s entire persona changed. She pulled away from him, and all of a sudden she was looking for an address, she was pulling something from her purse… “Isabel, what is that?” he asked, nodding towards the piece of paper in her hand.

“This church isn’t on my list, Alex. I spent two hours online preparing this list and this church is nowhere on it. I can’t have just missed it.”

And as quickly as that, the light clicked on. Call him crazy, but he couldn’t wait until Christmas… Isabel in planning mode was a sight to be seen.

“Isabel, I thought that Maria settled on the Brooklyn Botanical Garden. She wanted… what? Roses, right?”

Isabel waved a hand at him, shushing him. “Not the point, Alex.”

“Um… okay… What is the point, then?”

She made a grab for his hand and headed towards the steps. “We’ve got to go inside.”

But Alex stopped her. “No, no, Isabel… what if they’re in the middle of a service or something?”

She shrugged. “So what? I just have to see something.”

Alex tugged on her hand. “Come on, let’s go get a bagel or something. We’ll sit, we’ll talk… we’ll come back and check out the church later, okay? I’ll pay.”

Isabel smiled and rolled her eyes. “Alex, you don’t have any money.”

He grinned. “You didn’t let me finish, I was going to say I’ll pay you back later. And I do too have money, Liz lent me some.”

Isabel shook her head at him, smiling, but she took a deep breath and fastened her eyes on his, as if pleading him to take her seriously. “Alex, I promise you that after this we can go and we can get a bagel and sit and talk and do whatever you want, but I need to see the inside of this building.”

Alex stared at her for a moment before giving in. What damage could it do? “Fine,” he said, as he followed her in. “But no taking pictures, no making diagrams and absolutely no measuring the width of the aisle. Maria’s all set on the Botanical Garden and nothing you see inside of that building will change her mind.”

Isabel barely heard him as she rushed ahead of him. Something was pulling her on, and as she pushed the wooden doors open, she started to get a feeling as to what that something was.

Isabel had read of things like this before… where you saw a place in a dream before actually seeing it in person. Sometimes it was a result of having subconsciously seen the place on TV or in a magazine… Still, whatever the logical explanation of it was, she was no less than amazed at what she saw inside the church.

“Alex…” she made a blind grab for his hand, as she couldn’t tear her eyes away from the sight before her. She hadn’t taken time to really look at the place before, dreams did that to you… but now that she was really here, it was beautiful.

She finally glanced over at Alex and gave him an irrepressible smile when he caught hold of her wandering hand. “Alex, this is the place.”

Alex’s brow furrowed. “What?”

“This is it, Alex, this is where the wedding takes place.”

Alex rolled his eyes. Okay, so maybe he wasn’t looking forward to Christmas quite so much. Taking a hold of Isabel’s shoulders, he gave her the same look he’d seen Max giving Alexander when he’d asked for Pizza for breakfast. “No, Isabel, I told you. Michael and Maria are getting married in the Brooklyn Botanical Garden, end of story.”

Isabel pulled back slightly, looking at him like he was crazy. “Who said anything about Michael and Maria?”

Alex blinked, and then he frowned. “Uh… who are you talking about, then?”

Isabel laughed at him then. “Well, who do you think I’m talking about?”

Alex glanced sideways before looking back at her. “I have no idea?”

“Alex, remember those dreams I told you about? Where I’d talk to you, only you weren’t really there?”

Alex took a moment to decide how he would respond, but he didn’t even get a chance.

“This was one of them, Alex. Right here… This is where we get married.”

Alex took an involuntary step back. “Wh…what?”

Isabel frowned. “Don’t you like the chapel?”

“Well, yeah…”

She smiled, satisfied. “See? I knew you would. You showed it to me, after all. Well, he did,” she amended.

Alex shook his head… it may have only been ten AM, but it had been a long day, and he was sure he was hearing things wrong. “What? Isabel what are you talking about?”

“Haven’t you been listening?” Isabel gestured around the empty chapel. “Alex, this is it. This is where we get married.”

Alex followed her eyes around the room. “But… but we’re not married. We’re not getting married,” he said, stumbling over the words though he said them slowly.

“Of course we are.”

Alex raised an eyebrow. “We are?”

“Well, don’t you want to marry me?”

“Well…”

Isabel looked at him sharply. “You don’t want to marry me?”

“No! I didn’t say that… I definitely didn’t say that,” Alex said quickly, stepping towards her again.

“You do want to marry me, then?”

“Isabel, what’s brought this on? What are you talking about?”

Isabel took a step towards him, looking at him intently. “It’s very simple, Alex. Do you want to marry me?”

Alex laughed slightly. “Are you proposing to me?”

Isabel looked around the church one more time, “Yes. I mean, why not? I mean, I love you… and you love me, right? So, yes… I’m proposing. Will you marry me, Alex? Here?”

The last of Alex’s laugh died, as he realized that she was serious. She was really asking him to marry her. “Isabel… don’t you think this is rushing things a little? I mean, with all that’s happened recently…”

Isabel smiled then, more softly than before. “Alex, I’ve been in love with you almost half my life… do you really think that’s rushing things?”

Alex swallowed. Of course when she said it that way… “Don’t you think you need some time? I mean, Jesse…”

She covered his lips with two fingers and touched his arm with her free hand. After everything, he was still having trouble understanding. “Jesse is over. And we… we need to begin. I mean… don’t you think we’re a little overdue?”

Alex raised an eyebrow, still not quite sure if he could believe this was happening to him… Isabel Evans was asking him to marry her.

“I’m not saying we have to get married right away or anything… but someday. Preferably sooner rather than later…” Isabel took a deep breath, then, preparing for a leap of faith. “Alex Whitman, will you marry me?”

The grin that started across his face was probably answer enough, but he nodded, laughing at the sheer enormity of the situation. “Yes, uh… yes ma’am, I will.”

[cardinalgirl]

AN: Well, I don't know where Ethan is... but now that this part is done (and I didn't think this part would ever get done...) I'm incredibly eager to post it. So thanks a billion to Cam for looking it over for me. There are a few things in here that might require a stretch of the imagination... but hopefully not anymore than the rest of this has been so far. lol


Part 36

To Ava’s dismay, the more she tried to block Kyle out, the closer the connection seemed to become. The more she tried to push him away, the more in tune with him she felt. It was driving her absolutely crazy. She realized now that it had to have worked the same way for him, his immediate refusal of their connection had resulted in his being practically bombarded with it. Now the same thing was happening to her.

A part of her wanted to just give into it, drop everything right now and go find Kyle and throw herself into his arms, damning the consequences. But there would be consequences. And she didn’t know if she could deal with them.

It wasn’t just Kyle who was affecting her decision, either. Phantoms from the past had been on the edges of her mind for the past few weeks, now, and one or both of them was always close enough at hand to make her doubt anything that she had been feeling. She’d tried to push Tess and Zan out of her mind, but they would only retreat to the edges of her psyche, waiting to attack and make themselves prominent whenever they deemed worthy.

Her double had been taunting her for months now. First it was only in order to convince her that she could never be accepted into the group, if only because they had hated Tess herself so much… There had been other things, too. Ava could never be Zac’s real mother. She could never be Michael’s real sister. And she would never, ever have any claim on Kyle Valenti.

Zan’s assaults were more subtle, and they weren’t anything different than what she’d gotten from him when he was alive—she belonged to him, whether she liked it or not. It didn’t matter that he had never particularly wanted her, that wasn’t the point. He owned her, he always had and he always would, it was as simple as that.

Of course she knew that these were just her own doubts and reservations personified, she even knew that she couldn’t trust them, but that didn’t make them any less effective. She knew, really, that Zan had never felt ownership over her, he hadn’t cared that much. Still, she’d been told for two lifetimes that that was how it truly was, that she belonged to Zanathan, with him, for eternity, no matter how she felt about it. And as the saying goes, if you hear something enough times, you begin to believe it. Ava didn’t even know when she’d started believing it, whether it had been in this life or in the other… it didn’t matter, really, the damage was done. Even now, as she was contemplating her connection to Kyle, she felt guilty about Zan. She had been connected to Zan, but it had never been anything as powerful as this, and she felt as if she should have wanted it to be.

Isabel had said something once about how she’d been told that connections manifest themselves differently between different people, but her words had been vague at the time. Ava had considered asking her about it, but Isabel had been fairly preoccupied with Alex the last few days. Liz had told her that they’d been to see Jesse, Isabel’s ex-husband, and that they’d been almost inseparable since the visit. Not that they’d kept their distance from each other beforehand, but the way Liz had said it made it sound like Isabel could hardly stand to let Alex out of her sight of late, and Alex was welcoming the attention. Liz had laughingly called it the newlywed stage.

Ava was glad for them, especially Isabel. She remembered Isabel’s panic when she’d caught sight of Jesse only a matter of weeks ago, and she knew that having that finally resolved must have been a huge relief for her friend.

And yes, a small part of her was jealous. This new family of hers, it was almost complete. Alex and Isabel were finally getting the chance to love each other uninhibitedly, Michael and Maria were planning their wedding, and after all these years, there was still no question about Max and Liz’s love for each other. Still, starting something with Kyle, just because it was convenient, just because they were the odd men out… that wasn’t fair to him.

What about fair to you? a small voice in the back of her mind asked. Her own, of course. She was still blocking out Kyle’s powers.

She’d been sitting trying to read the same page for the last twenty minutes, but her thoughts were constantly drowning out the words on the page. Finally she shut the book, tossing it aside for the moment. It had been a quiet night. Kyle had started this mental tirade himself when he’d called earlier, saying that he was taking Alexander to the new Disney film while Liz and Max were on their date, and inviting herself and Zac along. She hadn’t been surprised when he’d called, she’d known he would before he had decided to himself. Zac had pleaded with her to come with, but she’d apologized to him, saying that she had a lot of paperwork she had to catch up on. That alone proved how little she trusted herself around Kyle at the moment, as she was passing up time with her child in order to avoid him. She was a terrible person. Or a terrible mother, at least.

Zac had blatantly scowled at Kyle when he’d come to pick him up, but he’d been wanting so badly to see the movie that he’d seen it fit to overlook who his chaperon was, if only for the night. Ava still didn’t know what it was that Zac was holding against Kyle. She’d tried asking him, but she’d only come up with the same answers—why should he be friendly to Kyle? Kyle had never done anything to deserve his friendliness.

Just thinking of the small feud that was building between the two made Ava sigh. Kyle had been able to keep his temper with Zac so far, but he was losing patience, Ava knew, especially as Kyle had no idea what terrible offense he’d committed, either.

Ava glanced at the clock and realized that they should be home pretty soon. And it was then that she heard shouting out in the hallway.

*************

Kyle jabbed at the button on the elevator. It had been a long night following a longer week, and he just wanted it to be over. Against his better judgment, he’d dropped Alex off first, since it’d been a kind of late movie and the kid had been practically falling asleep. Without his nephew there as a buffer, though, things were starting to turn ugly fast. This whole night had been a mistake.

After his pep-talk from Alex the elder, everything had seemed amazingly simple. Of course Ava loved him. It was so obvious… And all he’d have to do was conveniently cross paths with her at some point and get her to admit it for herself.

Things had not turned out that way. See, the thing was, in order to get Ava to admit that she was madly in love with him, he had to get her in a room alone for more than a few seconds… which Ava had gone out of her way to make sure that never happened. Everytime he’d even glimpsed Ava this past week, that’s all it had been… she was always rushing to and fro, she’d even missed the Friday night dinner.

It was driving Kyle insane. Even more than that, though, it was driving Kyle desperate. Which was what had lead to his current situation, stuck in an elevator with a bored, annoyed Zac Spencer. He’d thought maybe, just maybe, he’d get her to agree to the movie. It was a Disney flick with two kids… safe territory… And that would be a no.

And meanwhile he was surrounded by three—yes, three—sickeningly lovey-dovey couples at home… Alex and Isabel had been the worst lately, they’d come back from Jesse’s flirting constantly and connected at the hip… or… lip, rather.

A man stepped off the elevator the floor below Ava’s, leaving Kyle and Zac alone, and as the door closed again, Kyle punched the 10 button a couple more times for good measure.

“You’re gonna break that,” Zac said suddenly, in a not-that-I-care-but-you-suck kind of voice that only a ten or eleven-year-old boy can pull off.

Kyle rolled his eyes and bit back a frustrated growl. “I’m not gonna break the elevator, Zac,” he said, looking anywhere but at the kid. If he looked at him, he’d strangle him, it was as simple as that.

“Whatever,” Zac mumbled, as the doors opened and he strode off onto the hall towards his door.

Kyle watched the sandy-colored head flounce down the hallway, each step bringing back one of Zac’s complaints from earlier that night… Why’d they get popcorn if there wasn’t any hot sauce?’ He didn’t want Sprite, he wanted Root Beer. No, the peanut M&M’s. Who cares that he let Kyle pay for the plain ones first? They’d played polite for Alex, but Zac’s intention was clear: make Kyle’s night a living hell.

When Zac got to the door, Kyle just shook his head, starting to turn away from him. “You know, I should be getting back. Tell your mom hi.”

Zac stared at him in disbelief. “You’re not even gonna see if I get in safe? Real responsible,” he said sarcastically.

Kyle flung a hand towards the door. “You’re here, alright? You’re right in front of the door, I know you can unlock it.”

“Yeah, what if my mom’s not here? You’re gonna leave me all by myself?” Zac challenged.

Kyle ran a hand through his hair. “Gimme a break!” he all but shouted, turning away from Zac and then bearing down on him again. “What the hell do you want from me, Zac? What did I do? I was just trying to do something nice, you know? But do I get a ‘Gee, Kyle, thanks for the movie?’ No, I get harassed all night long.”

“You didn’t do this for me,” Zac flung back automatically. “You just wanted to see if you could hit on my mom.”

Kyle glanced towards the apartment door again. “Is that what this is? Is this about your mom? You want me to back off or something? Well, I’m sorry but it’s not gonna happen, buddy. I’m in love with Ava. Alright? I’m not gonna just give up because you’ve decided you’re gonna be a little punk about it.”

Zac didn’t flinch at Kyle’s words, he just scoffed. “You can’t love her.”

That comment stopped Kyle in his tracks. “What?” he asked, staring at Zac, as if that would make his meaning clear.

“She loved you, you know that? And you’ll never forgive her.” Zac was looking at Kyle in unconcealed disgust, but for the life of him, Kyle could not make sense of his words.

“Zac, what are you talking about? If anything, it’s your mom that has to forgive me, not the other way around.” Kyle could feel his confusion overtaking his frustration, especially as he was reminded all of a sudden that Zac was a kid. With that thought in mind, he felt as if he should take control of the situation, until Zac’s answer all but knocked him off his feet.

“I’m not talking about Ava!” Zac burst out. “My mother, Tess. You hate her, you’ll never forgive her, and she loved you! You’re the only one she ever loved!”

The hallways was silent for a moment after Zac’s eruption, but as Kyle’s shock faded, it was overshadowed by the same cold denial that Kyle had associated with Tess for years. He gave a low, mirthless laugh. “Zac, I don’t know where you got an idea like that… but Tess never loved me. Tess never loved anyone.”

The door opened slowly, revealing a worried expression on Ava’s face, but it hardly merited a glance from either of the individuals in the hall.

“She did too!” Zac argued. “She loved me. She tried to protect me. And she loved you, too. The whole trip, that’s all she would talk about… That nobody mattered anymore, except for you. That she’d never be able to make it up to you.”

Kyle lifted an eyebrow. “Zac, what trip? What are you talking about? Tess died when you were only a baby… there’s no way you could remember her.”

Ava moved into the hallway, then, to stand next to Zac and pull an arm around him. Her eyes met Kyle’s as if she were finally piecing something together. “He does though, Kyle. He remembers everything. That’s how he found me. He remembered me. He remembered Tess.”

Kyle moved his gaze to Ava’s face, and suddenly he didn’t even know what to do with himself. “But how’s that possible, Ava? He was only a baby…”

Zac leaned against Ava heavily, as if relieved that she was taking over the conversation. She lifted one shoulder in a slight shrug. “It’s his gift, Kyle. He gets it from me. Well, Tess, of course.” She looked down at Zac and brushed his bangs out of his eyes, lovingly. “Memory…” she looked back at Kyle with a sad smile. “It can be a very powerful thing.”

Kyle was shell-shocked. His first thought was that there Tess went again, pulling his past up to haunt him in the form of a ten-year-old boy… But Zac’s words were finally beginning to penetrate. He slowly turned to look at Zac again. “The trip you were talking about… that was when she brought you back to Earth, right?” Zac turned wary eyes to Kyle and nodded slowly. “And she… she really said all those things…” Again, Zac nodded.

Kyle started backwards then, stumbling slightly. “I… I should go… I’m sorry… I should go…”

Ava gave Zac a gentle push towards the apartment, and followed after Kyle, suddenly worried about him, too. “Kyle?” she called after him, where he was standing waiting for the elevator. “Kyle? Are you okay?” she asked, touching his shoulder, concern for him overpowering her need to stay aloof.

Kyle turned desolated eyes to her. “Was he really telling the truth? About remembering all that?”

Ava sighed. “Kyle, if there’s one thing I know, it’s that Zac would never lie about Tess. He knows that she did terrible things, but…” she shrugged, helplessly. “She was his mother.”

“Ava, do you have any idea what this means? Do you have any idea how much I’ve let myself hate her all these years? And all because I thought…” he shook his head, hardly able to find the words.

“This doesn’t mean that she didn’t do horrible things, Kyle. She almost killed Alex, and she did kill a whole team of scientists, all because she was ‘protecting’ Zachary.”

“Listen, I know what she did, alright?” Kyle snapped. Part of him knew he might be hurting her, but he didn‘t know how to care about that at the moment. He had other things to worry about. “I know who she was. But I didn’t know that she… I thought she didn’t care about me… I didn’t know that she…”

“That she loved you,” Ava finished for him finally. “Of course she did, Kyle. You made her feel human.”

That last sentence made his head snap up to look at her, and suddenly there were tears in Ava’s eyes. He’d started out the night intent on winning Ava over, so why did he suddenly feel like he’d lost her all over again? Before he could even process what had happened here, the elevator came, and Ava blinked quickly. “Goodbye, Kyle.” There was a strange sadness, a finality in her voice that Kyle couldn’t begin to refute, even if he’d wanted to.

Minutes before, he’d stepped off this same elevator frustrated and confused. Now, as he stepped back on, he was simply torn. Through Zac’s admission, he’d finally been given a chance to make peace with Tess’ memory, something he had never believed to even be possible. As the elevator doors drew closed between himself and Ava, though, he got the sickening feeling that she would be the price he paid.

[cardinalgirl]

AN: Yes, yes, it's true, she's got an update for you! I didn't have a chance to run this by anyone (mostly because I was impatient to post lol) so I hope it all makes sense... We're drawing to a close here very, very soon.


Part 37

Kyle took a deep breath of cold night air. He wasn’t sure how he’d gotten to the roof of the apartment building, or even why that was where he’d ended up, all he knew was that he couldn’t go back to the apartment after that. He couldn’t deal with the possibility of seeing someone, of being asked what was wrong and then having to try to explain himself.

He needed to be alone, needed time to think, to sort things out for himself.

But he didn’t even know what it was he was trying to sort out. So, Tess had loved him. It shouldn’t matter now, should it? Because it wasn’t Tess he cared about. If there was anything he’d been trying to prove over the last few months, it was that.

But why had he been trying so hard to prove it? Why couldn’t it just be?

He didn’t hear the door from the stairwell opening, or the figures approaching him until they were right behind him, and then he jumped, spinning around to see Liz and Maria. “Sheesh, what are you guys doing up here?”

Maria half-turned towards to Liz as who gave Kyle a half-smile. “Ava called… she wanted to make sure you got home. She sounded kind of worried…” Liz trailed off, as if hoping he’d fill them in.

Kyle was too busy going over the implications of what she’d said to get the hint, though. Ava had called? She’d been worried about him? Even in the state he was in, the thought sent a thrill through him. Not that he should be surprised. Even after that sad look he’d left her with, Ava was nothing if not considerate of the people around her. She would have done the same for anybody.

“How did you guys find me?” he asked at last.

Liz smiled again, more amusement in her eyes this time. “Ava kind of had an idea of where you might be, too.”

Kyle raised an eyebrow at that, but before he could even think about it Maria was in front of him. “Okay, so spill, Valenti. What’s going on between you two? Things have always been kind of weird, but lately you guys are both walking around like your miserable and neither of you will talk about it.”

Kyle shrugged gruffly. “Yeah, well, there’s not much to it, really. Zac hates me and I make Ava miserable. What’s there to talk about?” But even as he was saying it he realized that Ava must have intended this when she’d called, she’d wanted him to talk to somebody about this. Before he’d even fully formed the thought something like an affirmation brushed against his mind. He tried to grab hold of it, but it was gone so quickly it almost could have been his imagination. She was still holding back.

“Well for starters you could explain what you just said,” Maria quipped, folding her arms across her chest. “What do you mean you’re making Ava miserable?”

Kyle shrugged again, less angrily this time. If this was what Ava wanted then he’d do it, not that it would help much. “Everything I do is wrong…” he shook his head as said it, though, and ran a hand through his hair. “No, that’s not it. She thinks that I’m in love with someone else.”

Maria and Liz exchanged a surprised look at that. “Who?” Liz asked. “She’s not still upset about Sara, is she?”

Kyle winced and shook his head. “Don’t remind me about Sara…” he sighed.

“Well… who then?”

Kyle looked at them like they were both daft. “Who? Who do you think? Tess,” he spat out, spinning away from them slightly.

Again his friends exchanged a worried look, and then Maria laughed. “But you were never in love with Tess.”

“Yes, yes I was!” he shouted, turning back to them sharply. “Okay? I’ve said it. Are you happy now? I fell in love with Tess, the heartless, back-stabbing murderer, Tess. And because I fell for the wrong girl twelve years ago, Zac hates me and the woman I’m falling in love with now won’t believe a word I say.”

Maria and Liz watched his admission with wide eyes. Even if Liz had suspected as much, the fact that it was still affecting Kyle this much surprised her. Suddenly a dozen questions came to mind, but she decided to take it one thing at a time. “What do you mean Zac hates you, Kyle? Why would he think that you loving Tess is a bad thing?”

Kyle sighed, kicking at the wall as he looked down at the city bright below him. “Because I hated her, too. I hated what she did to us… He’s mad at me because I couldn’t forgive her… Because all I’ve ever said around him is that she was a terrible person, that she did bad things…”

“Well that’s pretty much true,” Maria said hesitantly, shrugging.

“But she was still his mother,” Liz said, starting to understand. And then she frowned at Kyle. “You keep saying things in past tense, Kyle. You hated her, you couldn’t forgive her… what’s changed?”

Kyle sighed. “That’s the problem. Nothing should have changed. He said that she loved me. That I was the only person that Tess was really sorry for hurting.”

“How could he know that, Kyle?” Liz asked gently.

Kyle shrugged again. “Czechoslovakian genes. He can remember her. He actually remembers Tess. And now I don’t even know what I’m feeling,” he mumbled the last part.

“What do you mean you don’t know what you’re feeling?” Maria asked, her turn to play questioner. “You can’t be saying that any of this is changing your feelings for Ava.”

“No, of course not,” he snapped, answering her statement like it was a question. “But I don’t know… It’s like all of a sudden I can’t even find that part of me that hated Tess. All of a sudden I’m okay with her just because she loved me…” he trailed off, shaking his head, and finally turning to look Maria and Liz in the face. “And I’m relieved. After all of that, I’m relieved. I mean, that’s stupid, isn’t it? That I can forgive her and let it go just because I found out that she loved me?”

They’d been watching him with sympathetic looks, but now that he’d given them a chance to speak Liz shook her head. “It’s not stupid at all, Kyle. You have to think about it. What was it that you were holding against Tess all this time in the first place?”

Kyle gave her an incredulous look. “The same things everybody held against her? The fact that everything she said was a lie? Or that she betrayed our trust? Or Alex?”

Liz shook her head, though. She wasn’t buying it. “Kyle, this isn’t about Tess. It’s about the fact that you were positive that somebody you loved, somebody you really cared about was so inhuman they didn’t even think twice about using you. That’s why you’re relieved, Kyle. Because now you know that you weren’t wrong to care about her. You know you can trust yourself again.”

Kyle wanted to argue, wanted to prove her wrong, but he couldn’t. After racking his brain for some sort of flaw to her observations, he gave up, just stared down at the concrete floor. If she was right… if that was what this was… then maybe he still had a chance.

“Now all we need to do is get Ava to trust you,” Maria smiled, as she saw that Kyle was accepting Liz’s assessment of things.

Kyle groaned at that, rubbing at his face tiredly. “That’s hopeless. She won’t even talk to me. She doesn’t want to hear my explanations about anything. She’s so damn sure that nothing between us has anything to do with her, that it’s all been about Tess…”

“Well, it has been about Tess in part,” Liz started…

Kyle glared at her. “No, it hasn’t! I swear it, Liz. I love Ava. Just her.”

Liz shook her head. “That wasn’t what I meant at all, Kyle. I just mean that before, you couldn’t move on with Ava because you still had issues to deal with about Tess. But if you’re letting go of Tess, then she won’t be the one stopping you from being with Ava.”

“Yeah… So the thing that’s really stopping you and Ava from being together is… you and Ava,” Maria summed up.

“Yeah, but why won’t she listen to me? Why won’t she just hear me out? She’s even blocking out our connection,” he said, then froze, as if he’d said too much.

Maria glanced at Liz and then to Kyle. “You guys have a connection? As in… a Czechoslovakian connection?”

“Well, yeah, we did, until she totally cut me off,” Kyle said, resigned to pacing in front of them.

“Have you guys even kissed?” Maria asked, confused.

“Not even close.”

“Then how is there a connection? And more importantly, why didn’t we know about it?” she demanded.

Kyle stopped his movements and turned towards them again. “I don’t know, alright? I don’t know how or why it happened, none of it makes sense.”

Liz glanced at Maria, biting her lip, and then said simply, “You’ve got to talk to her, Kyle. You guys can’t go on like this.”

Kyle shrugged, helplessly. “Well, I’m open to suggestions.”

Liz and Maria shared one more glance before Liz nodded. “Leave it to us.”

*************

Isabel kicked her shoes off and rolled her shoulders, when she got home the next day. She rolled her eyes as she realized that she was smiling, almost giggling. The past few days she’d been feeling absolutely silly, almost giddy. She was sure that if Alex hadn’t been feeling pretty happy himself she would have driven him mad by this point. So far everyone had written off her unusually good moods as a result of having finally gotten a chance to put Jesse behind her and start to move on with Alex, but she’d have to curb her actions soon, or they’d start getting suspicious.

She and Alex had decided to keep their impromptu engagement to themselves for the time being. They didn’t want to steal Michael and Maria’s thunder, first of all, but basically it was because they didn’t plan on getting married anytime soon, especially as Alex insisted that he at least be on his way to being able to support Isabel before they got married, and that would take some time. Isabel didn’t mind the wait, though, and she had a feeling it would do them some good to just enjoy being together for a little while. They were still too busy making up for lost time to make another drastic change in their lives.

And it wouldn’t be forever, maybe a few years. Alex had already signed up to take the GED and some basic computer-formatting classes at a local community college, and he’d been researching some of the less conventional computer companies that had been sprouting up here and there, the kind that was more interested in talent than a degree. He’d even considered calling up Macintosh and listing off problems and inefficiencies that Liz’s laptop had, but he wasn’t really into Mac’s, and he was pretty confident that he had more than a good shot at either taking over a smaller company or starting his own.

Isabel was shaken out of her reflections when there was a light knock on her door and it was inched open.

“You decent?” Alex grinned at her as he poked his head in.

“Why, you have a problem with that?” she smiled back.

She noticed his grin widen slightly, but he rolled his eyes at her, then opened the door wider. She blushed when Liz came into view beside him, obviously enjoying the banter between the two. Her sister-in-law looked tired, as if it had been a long week and she was now looking to enjoy herself a bit.

“What-what do you guys want?” Isabel asked, as she tried to regain her composure. She watched as Liz shot Alex a look of anticipation, and she also turned to look at Alex, frowning.

At her look, Alex shook his head slightly, and Isabel let out a small breath. She’d thought for a minute that maybe Liz had found out their secret somehow, not that that would be bad, but they’d agreed… She smiled apologetically at Alex then, and he shrugged it off, nodding towards Liz.

“Liz and I had a proposition to make,” he grinned.

Liz nodded, suppressed excitement in her eyes. “I’ve been talking to Alex about the things he told us when he got back… how we were pretty much being watched over, you know?”

Isabel nodded, the idea of “guardian aliens” still strange to even think about, but if that’s what had been keeping them from living in fear for so many years, then she was grateful to them.

“Well, Alex and I were thinking of what we wanted to do for Michael and Maria’s wedding…”

“We wanted to surprise her, do something really special, something she’d never forget,” Alex cut in, and she saw that he had the same excited look in his eyes. What had gotten into them?

“We asked Max first—well, I asked Max first—”

“Because she can’t do anything without asking Max,” Alex grinned.

Liz rolled her eyes but ignored him “—because I wanted to hear his opinion first, and he actually thought it was a good idea. That it was time, you know… for all of us…”

“And that’s where you come in,” Alex finished, finally.

Isabel shook her head, mystified. “Where I come in? What are you guys talking about? Time for what?”

Alex and Liz gave each other one last look before finally giving in and letting her know what was up. “There’s only one thing that we could think of that could really make the day really perfect for her…” Alex said softly, and he was watching her carefully.

“Because if there’s one person that a girl really wants at her wedding it’s—”

“Her mother,” Isabel broke in, gasping, and suddenly there were tears in her eyes.

Alex came towards her then, and wrapped an arm around her. “And then we were thinking how unfair it would be to the rest of our parents to only bring Amy up.”

Isabel pulled away from him sharply, staring at him, not even daring to believe that she’d heard him correctly. “Are you serious?”

Liz stepped forward and gave Isabel a quick hug. This was a big thing for all of them, but Maria and Isabel had both been particularly close with their mothers. “We know you’ve been checking in on all of them… but it’s time, Isabel. It’s time we got them back. We deserve that.”

Isabel collapsed against Alex’s chest, nodding towards Liz, since she’d been rendered completely incapable of speech. She laughed through the tears that were falling down her face and held onto Alex tighter. If her week got any better she’d probably explode.

There was a light knock on the doorframe and Max came into the room, smiling at his near-hysterical his sister. “So I guess they told you, huh?” he asked, smiling at Liz for a moment and wrapping an arm around her naturally before turning his attention back to his Isabel. “Think you could dream walk a couple people for us, Iz?”

She nodded again, smiling radiantly. She pulled away from Alex and hugged her brother tightly for a moment. “Thank you,” she whispered. Not for asking her to do this so much as allowing it. She knew they were doing it for Maria, technically, but see her parents… To actually be able to talk to her mom… Max seemed to understand and squeezed her back.

She glanced at the digital clock on her nightstand and pouted. It was only a little after six. “It’ll be hours until any of them are asleep. How could you guys just drop this on me and then expect me to be able to wait four or five hours before actually doing it?” she demanded, looking from Max to Alex especially.

Alex just laughed at her and pulled her back into a hug. “Easy there, Princess.” But he couldn’t blame her for being excited, they all were. Actually, he was a little more nervous than excited himself, as his parents were in for the surprise of their life. He had no idea how they were going to react to the fact that their son wasn’t actually dead, but at least he knew one thing—it was long overdue.

[cardinalgirl]

AN: Hi guys! Thanks so much for the feedback. I love how much you guys make me think with all your questions and comments. Thanks to Ethan for reading over this, and to all of you for just being who you are.


Part 38

“You sure you don’t want me to get you something? Like water or something? I can leave you alone, too, if you want… I don’t want to distract you if—”

“Alex, would you please shut up?”

His mouth snapped shut, but he frowned at her for an explanation. She smiled at him in apology. “Alex, no offense, but you are distracting me. I mean, as if I wasn’t already nervous enough.”

A look of understanding, followed closely by a wince at his own stupidity crossed Alex’s face, and he settled himself on the bed next to Isabel. “Sorry, Iz. Sorry. From here on out I’m the strong, stable type, at your service. No more babbling. I’ll just sit here quietly and—”

“Alex!” She clamped a hand across his mouth, glaring at him in an amused way.

He pulled her hand away and smiled bashfully at her. “Sorry.”

Isabel took a deep breath, and before he knew what had happened her eyes were sad. “Alex, what if they won’t come?”

He laughed lightly, brushing he hair away from her face. “Are you kidding? How could they not come?”

Isabel shrugged miserably. “What if they decide that it’s too dangerous being with us? That it’s just safer if they stay away?”

Alex knew that she wasn’t talking about the parents in general, she was specifically talking about her own parents. “Isabel, there’s no way that your parents would give up even half a chance to see you again,” he said, framing her face with his hands and forcing her to look at him, to see that he was absolutely positive that what he was saying was true. “You know your parents must be missing you more than you can possibly imagine, right?”

Isabel hesitated. She knew that he was right, but part of her was still nervous. “What if they just think it’s a dream? What if they don’t even believe it?”

Alex grinned. “You think that when all the parents get the same message in their dream that they’re just going to dismiss it?”

Isabel felt herself smile. Okay, so it sounded ridiculous. Then she frowned, her concern shifting to Alex. “What about your parents? Do you want to visit them tonight anyway? We wouldn’t talk to them, but I could show you them, just so you can see them again.”

Alex hesitated, but finally shook his head. “No, they’ve waited this long to see me, it’s almost unfair for me to see them first.”

“And you really think this is the best way? To not tell anyone about you until they’re here?”

Alex nodded. “If only for Mom’s sake. It would kill her to just hear that I was alive and then have to wait to come to see if it was really true. Besides, I don’t think they know anything.”

“You don’t think Valenti would have told them some time?”

“Isabel, have you met my parents?” Alex grinned. “They would not deal with the idea that their son was “killed” by aliens very well. It’d be better if they had thought it was a car accident this whole time.”

“Alex! How can you say that? Don’t you think they deserve to know the truth?”

He nodded. “Sure I do, but not until after they find out that I’m still alive. If they’d heard what you guys thought was the truth before this then they’d probably have phoned the government ranting about aliens and brought this all down on your heads in the name of justice.” He sighed. “They’re not bad people, they’re just really conservative sometimes. This whole thing is going to scare them to death. It’ll be a while before they come to terms with it, but it’ll be okay.”

“And you don’t want me to tell anyone? Even the Parkers or the Sheriff and Amy?”

“Do you really think that they’d be able to keep it from my parents for the two months before the wedding? Valenti would insist on telling them, you know that.”

“Won’t they get suspicious that we’re insisting that they come too?”

Alex shook his head. “Why would they? They were like second parents to Maria. Or third parents, at least,” he smiled. “Granted, Jeff and Nancy ranked a little higher.”

“Granted,” she smiled, but Alex’s smile had been replaced by a vague stare. “What?” she asked.

Alex shrugged as he looked back at her. “Just kind of funny, don’t you think?” he mused.

“What’s that?”

He grinned. “For the first time since I’ve met you, it’s my existence that’s a secret, not yours.”

She laughed, and Alex glanced at the clock, yawning. “I think it’s about time you get this show on the road, don’t you?”

Isabel blinked, surprised. She’d almost forgotten the original subject. And she wasn’t nervous anymore. Somehow just by talking to her Alex had brought out the logical side of her and made her forget her own worries. In a rush of affection she wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly, kissing his cheek.

He laughed. “What was that for?”

“For reminding me why I love you.”

“Um… okay…” he said, hugging her back and laughing uncertainly.

She pulled back, smiling at him. “Never mind. I’m ready now.”

“You sure?”

She nodded. With Alex here with her, she could face anything.

*************

Diane Evans walked quickly through the house. She was looking for something, but she wasn’t quite sure what. She was sure that once she saw it, she would remember. She would remember and everything would be alright again.

For some reason, though, the house was much larger than it usually seemed. She’d been walking down the hall for minutes now, and she hadn’t gotten to the next room, even.

“Mom?”

Diane jumped, and turned. There, standing in the darkness of the hallway was… No, it couldn’t be. “Isabel?”

Isabel nodded, smiling through glistening eyes. “It’s me, Mom.”

Diane rushed to her daughter, hugging her tightly and dissolving into tears. “It is you, isn’t it?” she asked, pulling back enough to cup her daughters face and touch her hair. She looked older, and she had her natural blonde hair back, long again, just like it used to be. “You’re really here?”

Isabel smiled sadly at her mother and shook her head, though, wiping away a stray tear of her own. “No, Mom, I’m not. This is just a dream… but it really is me. This is my power, dreamwalking.”

Diane shook her head. “I don’t understand, honey. How can I possibly know that this is really you if you’re saying it’s a dream?”

Isabel bit her lip, thinking. “What if I brought Dad? Then in the morning you’ll both remember it. I promise you that it’s real, Mom.”

Diane wasn’t sure what was going on or what she was supposed to be feeling right now, but she nodded in amazement. “Do what you have to do, honey.”

Isabel paused, concentrating, and then after a moment a bewildered Phillip appeared next to the two of them. He looked at the two of them, confused. “I was just at the office… what happened? Isabel? Is that you?”

Again Isabel’s eyes filled up with tears, and she nodded, going to him and hugging him. “It’s me, Dad. It’s so good to see you.” She pulled away. “To see both of you.”

“I can’t believe it’s you…” Phillip looked at his daughter earnestly. “How did you get here? Where’s Max? Are you all safe?”

Isabel held a hand up, laughing lightly. For the moment she ignored the heart-bursting joy running through her. She came here for a reason. “Let’s take it one thing at a time. This is the dreamplane, Dad. I’ve been watching you and Mom here ever since we left, but this is the first time that I’ve been allowed to talk to you… It’s a long story, as you can imagine.”

Her parents exchanged a worried look. “Why have you come now, then?”

“Has something happened? Are you alright?”

Isabel couldn’t hold it in any longer, though. She smiled brilliantly at them. “Much more than alright. Things are so wonderful now… We’ve been safe this whole time. We had to be careful for the first few years, and we still watch ourselves, of course, but we’ve been safe, and that’s all that matters.”

Diane closed her eyes, and Isabel could feel the relief coursing through her. It really was all that mattered.

“Listen, I don’t have much time… I would love to talk with you all night, but this is taking a lot of energy, and this isn’t my only call tonight.”

Phillip nodded. “So long as… you promise to come back and see us again, Isabel.” His voice was almost breaking. Isabel had never seen him like this before.

She smiled at them mischievously then. “Actually, that’s why I came to see you. We were hoping… We were all hoping that you and the other parents would be willing to come to Michael and Maria’s wedding in two months. On the twenty-second of June.”

Her parents stared. Diane found her voice first, though falteringly. “You… you mean we can see you again… in person?”

Isabel nodded, hugging her again. “All of us. Nothing has happened in so long that we finally just decided that we really needed to be able to see you all again.”

Isabel quickly explained to them where they were, and that above all else, they were to make sure that the parents staggered their departures if they would come, which her parents insisted they would.

“Also… Maria would really love it if the Whitmans were there,” she said in a rush, deciding firmly to respect Alex’s wishes and keep his return a secret.

Her father hesitated, though. “That won’t be easy…”

“Dad, they have to be there. Please. It’s really important.”

He shared a look with her mother and nodded. “We’ll do what we can.”

Isabel nodded and gave them each a hug before pulling away again. “I have to go now, but I want you to know how much I love you both. Max sends his love, too. We can’t wait to see you.”

She pulled out of the dream as quickly as possible, making sure to put her father back in his own dream again also. She knew that they would have wanted to say goodbye to her, but she couldn’t hear it from them. She’d had enough goodbyes for a lifetime.

Alex was there waiting for her, and he wiped the stray tears away from her face. “How’d it go?”

Isabel took a breath to steady her breathing and smiled at him. “Good. I think it was good.”

*************

“Knock, knock.”

Zac looked up from his homework to see his mom standing in his doorway.

“Hey, honey.”

Zac sat up on his bed, but wrinkled his nose at the serious look on Ava’s face. “Is this about the other day?” he asked, dreading the answer.

Ava laughed lightly at his expression, and came to sit next to him, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. “Zachary, why didn’t you tell me about any of this? About… Tess?”

Zac shrugged his shoulders, not looking up at her. “Alex says that she makes you sad. He knows those kinds of things… I didn’t want to make you sad.”

“Aw, honey… you can always talk to me about Tess, alright? I won’t ever try to take her away from you in any way.”

Zac nodded, still staring at his own lap. “I know that, too…” he started, staring intently at the floor in front of him. “Are you mad at me because of Kyle?”

She sighed, pulling him a little closer. “No, honey, I’m not mad at you. I do think you need to think about it, though. You need to be able to see things from his point of view.”

Zac snorted. “Why. What’s to know?”

Ava bit her lip. Part of her was hurting to even want to say this, but Zac needed to hear it. “Zac, Kyle didn’t hate Tess. Even now he doesn’t hate her, really.”

He stared at her. “Of course he does. He says it all the time.”

Ava shook her head, holding Zac’s gaze now that she had it. “No, he doesn’t, Zachary. He doesn’t.” She took a deep breath. “He misses her. He misses her even more than he realized.”

“You really think that?”

She knew that her answer would help to decide whether or not Zac gave Kyle another chance, and she nodded solemnly. “I really do.”

Finally he sighed. “I don’t understand.”

Ava smiled sadly, brushing his bangs out of his eyes. “I don’t think he understood until the other day, either. It’s just complicated.”

“But how can love both you and her?”

She brushed the thought off with a thin laugh. “He doesn’t love me, honey.”

“Alex says he does.”

Ava paused at that. “You talk to Alex about a lot of things, don’t you?” she teased, instead of answering him.

He simply shrugged. “He knows those kinds of things,” he repeated quietly.

She sighed. “Kyle cares about me. I know that. But… it’s complicated.”

Zac nodded. “A lot of things are complicated, aren’t they, Mom?” he asked, in an almost sad voice.

Ava had the feeling that he was talking about a lot more than her and Kyle. Maybe he was still thinking about Tess, or maybe he was thinking about Alex, his half-brother, or Max… She pulled him closer, kissing the top of his head.

“Too complicated,” she agreed.

[cardinalgirl]

AN: I know, I know... suddenly I can't stop writing this. I've just been building up momentum as this goes... you guys don't mind that, do you?


Part 39

“Hey sleepyhead.”

Isabel blinked her eyes a few times, and frowned. “What’s going on? Why am I in your room? And what time is it?”

Alex laughed. “One question at a time, Izzy. It’s about… eleven. I brought you in here earlier, just so I could keep a closer eye on you while I was getting some studying in…” he trailed off, motioning to the stack of books on his desk.

Isabel sat up straight. “It’s eleven already?” she demanded, sitting up quickly, but wincing as she went. She felt like she’d been hit over the head with a sledgehammer. Okay, maybe that was an exaggeration, but it still hurt.

“Well, that’s what you get when you do three cross-country, multi-person dreamwalks in one night,” Alex quipped, handing her aspirin, though he couldn’t really remember if it would do her any good or not.

Isabel rolled her eyes, though she’d said the same thing to him as she was finally falling asleep the night before. “I couldn’t help it, Alex…”

“You could have waited to do The Parkers’ or the Valentis’ until tonight. But no, no, you had to do it all in one blow and wear yourself out,” he said, grinning at her so she wouldn’t take him seriously. Then his smirk fell to a more genuine, almost reminiscent smile. “How are they, anyhow? You didn’t say much before conking out last night.”

Isabel frowned. “I do not ‘conk,’” she said haughtily, focusing her meager healing powers on the pounding in her head with limited success. “But they’re good. Really, good, Alex. Except…”

“Except what?” Alex asked, concern growing on his face.

Isabel sighed. “All the parents said the same thing, Alex. They’re worried about whether or not your parents will come… For them seeing Maria getting married would be too much of a reminder of what they never got with you. What they still think they’ll never have.”

Alex didn’t seem overly worried. “Did you tell the Sheriff and the others to say that Maria specifically asked for them to be there?”

Isabel nodded. “Still, it might be difficult…”

Alex shook his head. “Believe me, I know my parents. Maria was like a daughter to them. They’d never turn her down.”

Isabel watched him, wondering how much of what he was saying was real confidence and how much was pure bravado. Part of her wanted to argue with him, tell him that after eleven years they may have changed, but something made her hold her tongue. “You’re right. You know your parents better than anyone…” Really all they could do from this point was hope, though, and trust her parents and the Sheriff to convince them. Suddenly she was laughing. Alex raised an eyebrow in question, and she shook her head, smiling. “You should have seen the look on Amy Deluca’s face…”

*************

Liz rubbed at her eyes tiredly. It had been a long night. She and Max had been waiting up as Isabel contacted first her own parents, then Liz’s, then finally the Sheriff and Amy. She’d been trying not to think about her own parents until it got closer to the wedding. After all this time, just the idea of them was enough to almost make her cry from missing them. Isabel had offered to take her into the dream herself, but Liz was glad that she hadn’t. Isabel had called in sick and had been sleeping most of the day because she’d been so drained of energy in the morning.

Liz wasn’t surprised when Isabel said that she’d found Jim and Amy together—that they seem to have gotten married a few years after the rest of them had left Roswell. She also wasn’t surprised that Isabel wasn’t surprised by the fact. She’d been almost sure that her sister-in-law had been keeping tabs on the parents back home, but now she knew it.

She was bursting to tell Maria the news, but thankfully she was also too tired to care about the fact that she wouldn’t have a chance to.

“Liz, babe, wake up. We’re on a mission here.”

Liz laughed as Maria shook her lightly. “You’re right, you’re right. Okay. You ready to do this?”

Maria nodded solemnly, and she almost laughed again. She really was looking forward to this. She loved seeing Maria in performance mode.

“Now, follow my lead,” Maria reminded her. “And we’re going to get the response we’re hoping for we need to get her to believe it, so just sell it, Liz. Really do it like you mean it.”

“Yeah, I know, it’s only like the fifth time you’ve said it,” Liz smiled, teasing her friend.

Maria rolled her eyes, smiling slightly. “Yeah, well, this is important. You sure Max’ll keep the boys busy long enough?”

Liz nodded. “Yeah, he’s taking Zac and Alex to the zoo.” She smiled affectionately as she thought of her husband. “You should have seen him this morning, he was so nervous. It’s his first real chance to spend a whole day with Zac…”

Maria gave Liz a quick hug. “You’re okay with that, yeah?”

Liz shrugged, nodding. “Yeah. I’m actually excited for him. I mean, I don’t think Zac really wants Max as a father-figure, but… at least they can be friends.”

Maria nodded. “Unfortunately I don’t know if the same is possible for Kyle and Zac. At least not for a while.”

Liz shook her head. “Zac’s a good kid. He’ll come around eventually. I’m more worried about Ava giving Kyle another chance than Zac right now.”

Maria gave Liz’s shoulders another squeeze, and turned to the door in front of them. “Which brings us to our mission. Now let’s go. If we stay out here any longer she’ll catch us.”

Liz nodded. “Okay. On three.”

*************

Someone was knocking on the door frantically. Ava jumped up to answer it, sure to check through the peephole first. She was surprised to see a worried looking Liz and Maria standing in the hallway of her apartment building.

She pulled the door open as quickly as possible. They weren’t in a panic, so there was no worry that something had happened to Zac or anyone, but she still wanted to know what was going on.

Before she could even say hello to them Liz and Maria barreled into the room, Maria grabbing her into a hug. “Oh, Ava, I hope you’re all right. Kyle wouldn’t tell us a thing but we know that you guys had a fight or something and we just want you to know that we are here for you.”

“Absolutely. Just, anything you need, we’re here for you.”

Ava pulled out of Maria’s arms, puzzled. “I don’t understand. Kyle and I didn’t fight… He had an argument with Zac… is he alright? He was really upset when he left.”

Liz and Maria exchanged an obviously confused look. “But the way he was talking…”

“He sounded worried that you wouldn’t forgive him for something…” Maria cut in.

“He wouldn’t tell us anything. But the way he was talking, I swear, Ava, I don’t even know what he did but I can’t believe that he’d hurt you so much.”

“I mean, at least he’s feeling sorry for it, and he really is, but if you want our back on this, you have it. No questions asked."

Ava was shaking her head frantically, trying to get them to listen. “No, he hasn’t done anything. He hasn’t hurt me… I mean, not on purpose…”

Maria shook her head. “He really thinks he has, Ava.”

Ava shook her head, sadly. “He must have been talking about… someone else. It wasn’t me.”

Liz gave her a quick hug, with Maria following on cue. “No, he was definitely talking about you, Ava. He said that neither you or Zac would ever forgive him now,” Liz said, praying that the minor stretches of truth wouldn’t do any harm. “He’s really broken up right now. He won’t talk to anyone.”

Ava pulled away from them both, feeling a little sick. “Oh my god, I have to talk to him. I need to fix this.”

She couldn’t handle this anymore. It had to end, one way or another. Letting things run their course was just making the situation worse on everyone, and she didn’t have the strength to deal with it anymore.

She didn’t want him hurting over her anymore. It wasn’t worth it.

With hardly a goodbye to her friends, Ava grabbed her jacket and purse and left to find to Kyle, leaving Maria and Liz standing in her apartment, watching as she left.

As soon as the door closed, Liz sighed in exhaustion, rubbing her face with her hands. “I really hope that was the right thing to do.”

Maria gave her another, longer hug. “What’s meant to be is meant to be, Lizzie. It’s out of our hands now.”

Liz nodded. “I just hope it goes well.”

*************

“Um… Mr. Valenti’s in the formatting room… He’s helping with the cover design and they usually don’t like being disturbed in there…”

Ava tried her best not to roll her eyes in frustration. The twenty-something intern was just doing her job, after all. “I appreciate that… Jessica… I really do, but this is important. Could you please just tell Mr. Valenti that Ava Spencer is here to see him.”

Jessica bit her lip. “I don’t think they’ll allow—”

“Ava?”

Ava spun as she heard Kyle’s voice. He stack of files in his arm and was staring at her with something akin to shock. She felt relief, surprise, and a fine strand of hope running through him. She opened her mouth to say something, to explain why she was there, but now that she was facing him she couldn’t speak.

Kyle didn’t seem to mind, though. Hardly taking his eyes off of her, he set the files on Jessica’s desk. “Jessica, I’m taking my lunch break. I don’t know when I’ll be back.”

“But… the cover design… Mr. Jefferson won’t be happy about this…” Jessica tried, but it was useless, he hardly heard her.

Ava swallowed as Kyle motioned towards the direction of the elevators, resting his hand lightly on her back as he led her out of the office.

“I can’t believe you’re here.”

“Is this… is this a bad time?” Ava asked, when she could find her voice.

“No. No, absolutely not,” Kyle said quickly, but she could tell he was lying.

Ava stopped walking, turned toward him. “Kyle, if that meeting back there is important I don’t want to get you in trouble.”

“Ava, I don’t care if this gets me fired. I need to talk to you.”

Ava nodded, “Is there… is there somewhere we can be alone?”

Kyle grinned at her crookedly. “I seem to have a thing for rooftops lately,” he said, as the elevator door dinged open in front of them. “Shall we?”

[cardinalgirl]

AN: Mood music for this chapter is Vertical Horizon's "Finding Me" and "Give You Back," and also "Phobic" by Plumb. You can now find the complete soundtrack to Persistence of Memory on my author's thread at DAS, here.


Part 40

While they were in the elevator, Kyle concentrated all his energy on just breathing, just standing still. They were the sole occupants of the car for the last few floors, but Ava wouldn’t look at him, and Kyle could hardly keep his thoughts straight. He scrambled his brain looking for some old scrap of Buddhist wisdom to get him through this, but there was nothing… He was suddenly struck by the realization that while he knew Ava pretty much inside and out by now, he’d hardly ever talked to her at all. Things between them would take time… but as they stepped out into the open air overlooking the city, he wasn’t too worried. She was here, and that meant that this could work.

Or, not.

“Kyle, I think we need to end this.”

Her words broke the silence so abruptly that it took a minute for him to process what she’d said. He turned sharply, staring at her in disbelief. “Are you kidding me? End this? Ava, we’ve never started anything!”

She nodded, passively. “I know. And I intend to keep it that way.”

“You intend to keep it that way?” he repeated, staring at her incredulously. “That’s what you came all the way here to tell me? That I’m never gonna have a shot at you so I should just give up now?”

She stiffened at his harsh tone, surprised when tears came to her eyes. Hadn’t she prepared for this? Hadn’t she known that this would hurt? It was exactly why she’d been putting it off for so long.

She swallowed tightly, turning away from him slightly. “I came here because Liz and Maria said that you were afraid that you’d hurt me the other day. I wanted to tell you that you didn’t. I’m fine. You don’t have to worry about me. I’m not your problem anymore, Kyle.”

“My problem?” He was surprised that the amount of incredulity in his voice could actually go up. He shook his head, staring at the woman before him in disbelief, but before he could find his voice she’d turned again.

“What happened the other day just proved that this can never happen. I can’t be what you want me to be… Kyle, I’ve got… I’ve got a job and a son, and you have your own life that’s just—”

He threw up a hand to stop her. “Wait, wait, what? First of all, I don’t want you to be anything at all, and secondly, if you’re going to just walk out on this, at least have the decency say the real reason you’re doing it.”

He watched as her mouth fell open, but was a little surprised when she straightened and all but glared at him.

“And what is that supposed to mean?” she demanded, hands on hips.

“What does it mean? It means I want you to admit that you’re afraid of being in a relationship, Ava. You’re so damn scared of yourself and the people you care about that you run away from anybody who gets within a ten-foot radius of actually figuring you out. You’re so busy deciding how other people see you that you don’t even see yourself, and you know what, Ava, I’m sick of it. I’m sick of trying to convince you that you and me, we’re both good people. And we’d have a real good shot at happily ever after if you’d just give me another chance.”

She shook her head, folding her arms across her chest. “If you’re so sick of it all, why don’t you just give up? I know you want to.”

“No, you want me to, Ava! You’ve been trying to get me to give up on you practically since we started this.”

“We didn’t start anything, Kyle,” she reminded him quietly, but she couldn’t bring herself to look at him.

“All right, fine. Since I started this, alright? Me, this is my fault. Are you happy now? And you can blame me all you want, but whether or not you want to admit it, we’ve got a connection here, and you can push me away as long as you want to, but it’s still gonna be there. I’m still gonna be here. I’m not giving up on you, Ava. I’m not giving up on us.”

Ava stared at him, shaking her head in disbelief. “That’s what I’m trying to say. There is no us, you stubborn fool.”

“Oh so I’m the stubborn one. Right. That’s why I had to get Maria and Liz to practically trick you into coming to see me.”

Ava’s mouth fell open. “So that was all a set-up.” She shook her head again. She was surprised that she wasn’t surprised at it. She wasn’t angry, either. She was just tired of it all. “I guess they’d have to side with you, wouldn’t they? You’re like family to them.”

Kyle suppressed a groan. “Ava, they’re not on anybody’s side. They just want us to be happy. Both of us.”

Ava swallowed thickly, but she shook her head. “This can never work, Kyle. I mean a few months ago you couldn’t stand the sight of me… you hated me, Kyle.” He was about to speak but she held a hand up, stopping him. “I know that you didn’t mean it, and it wasn’t your fault, but you still felt it. And since then your feelings towards me have changed so much, so fast… I just… I just don’t know if I can trust them.”

Kyle was all but gaping at her by the time she finished, and the look in his eyes tore her heart out. “Ava… I… I would never hurt you…” he faltered.

Ava shook her head, swiping irritably at the tears that had come to her eyes. “Dammit, Kyle, I know that. It’s not even that… But how can I possibly believe that this is really what you want? How can I even believe that you know what you want? Because you know what? You keep talking about this great, powerful connection between us, but you keep forgetting one thing. You didn’t want it, Kyle. You never did.”

She started towards the stairwell, but he caught her by the arm. “Yeah, maybe I didn’t want it at first, but things have changed.”

“Oh come on, Kyle—”

“No, Ava, think about it. Think about how much my life has changed since I came to New York. I mean, you have no idea what it was like for me to see Alex that morning, when he got back.” Kyle shook his head, not quite sure how to express himself. “I mean Isabel and Liz and Maria… everybody knows that it was great for them, you know, because they loved him, but for me… for me it was like this huge weight was lifted off my shoulders, you know? Because for eleven years I’d been telling myself that if I’d been strong enough, if I’d seen through her… I could’ve saved him… gotten him to Max, something…”

Ava felt it as the recently vanquished guilt wash over him again, as sharply as it had ever been. “Kyle…” she started, but there was nothing she could say, and he went on.

“I’d been holding on to that guilt like it was my lifeline or something. Like it was going to save me… even though it couldn’t save him, you know? But even that wasn’t the thing that had stuck with me the most since leaving Roswell. It wasn’t even close.”

Ava sucked in a breath and bit down on her lip, bracing herself for what she knew was coming. Reluctance was pouring off of Kyle, and she forced herself to school her expression as he watched her carefully.

“All this time, all the places we’ve been and lived… all the years that have gone by… I’ve never been able to get away from Tess. I almost wished that I had had some kind of connection with her… that I could have felt it when she died, because no matter how long she’d been gone I could’ve sworn that somehow she was gonna show up and screw up my whole life again. But the thing that I really hated about it was that there was still a piece of me that really wanted her to.”

Ava had never expected to hear that, and she turned to him sharply, something in her mind reeling. She’d been right this whole time. He was—

“And no, it’s not because I was in love with her,” he cut into her thoughts. “I mean… it had nothing to do with that. I didn’t want her anymore,” he said, waiting for Ava to look him in the eyes and see it for herself. “I hadn’t wanted her for a long time, Ava.”

She nodded, accepting saying that, but waited for him to continue.

He took a deep breath. “Really all I wanted from her… all I wanted to hear… is exactly what Zac told me the other day.” Kyle laughed in a strange way, shaking his head. “Sounds kind of dumb, but that was it. All I wanted was for her to tell me that she regretted hurting me. That it actually… mattered to her at all. I really didn’t think that it did.” He thought back to Liz’s words. “I needed to trust myself again…” he mused, verifying it to himself this time. He shook himself though, and turned back to her. “Ava, you’ve got to understand… all these years I’ve been going from one town to another and from one woman to the next, but all I’ve ever wanted my whole life was to love one woman, spend the rest of my life with her. It’s the only thing I’ve ever wanted.”

Ava’s resolve was weakening, and she knew it. She wasn’t even sure what she was fighting anymore, but some shivering part of her refused to give in. “Kyle… I don’t know that I’m that woman.”

He stared at her, amazed that she was still arguing with him. “Well I do.” He advanced on her, stopping himself before he got too close. “You have to know how right this is, Ava. I mean, somebody up there’s got to have wanted this to happen,” he said, gesturing towards the sky. “Think about it. We’re in a city where two people can live in the same building their entire lives and never even meet. Think about how amazing it is that we even found each other.”

“That’s exactly what I’m saying,” she jumped in. “This whole thing has been a string of accidents and coincidences.”

“The connection wasn’t a coincidence, Ava. There’s no way it could have been.”

She shook her head, choking on her emotions again. “It was a fluke, Kyle. That’s all it was.”

“No. No, that’s not possible. You don’t believe that.”

“Yes, I do! You have to choose a connection, they don’t just happen. And it makes sense. Kyle, you were so angry that day. Your powers were out of control, isn’t that what you’ve said? And you were so mad that you wanted me to feel how angry you were, how much you hated me…” her voice faltered and her tears started again. She rubbed them away quickly, clearing her throat. “How much you hated her…” Her voice was quieter now, almost wooden. “That’s why we’re connected, Kyle. It’s the only thing that makes sense.” She ran a hand through her hair. “Just accidents, Kyle. That’s all it is.”

Kyle just shook his head, though. “Ava, connections are different between different people. They have to be. And I think that with us, the connection had to happen at the beginning. If it hadn’t neither one of us would have ever been smart enough to figure out that we’re perfect for each other. If this connection hadn’t happened to us, if it hadn’t happened right when it did, sneaking up on both of us, it never would have happened, because we were both too closed off and suspicious to have ever made it ourselves. This connection wasn’t an accident, Ava. It was my saving grace. It can be yours too, you’ve just got to trust it.”

“Kyle, stop it! Just stop it. I’m trying to give you a way out here, just take it,” Ava said, her voice shrill with desperation. “I’m not going to be that woman who goes searching after debts that weren’t hers in the first place. You don’t owe me anything.”

He shook his head, bewildered. “Debts? Ava, what are you even talking about? What are you so afraid of? I already told you, I’m not giving up on this, and we’re not leaving this rooftop before you tell me why the hell you’re still fighting this.”

“Kyle don’t you get it?” Ava demanded, her voice having fallen to a broken sob. “If we hadn’t been forced together, if we hadn’t been pushed at each other by circumstance… none of this would ever have happened. You could have found someone else, you wouldn’t feel obligated to me or feel guilt towards me… you could have just gone on with your life, found some other path and been happy.”

Kyle stared at her, dumbfounded for a moment, simply shaking his head. The silent, disbelieving way he stared at her sent a chill down her back. And then suddenly, without any warning, he was laughing. The rattled sound surprised her so much that she rocked back, taking a step away from him.

“What’s so funny?” she asked, completely confused by his demeanor.

Shaking his head, Kyle’s incredulous look was now lightened by merriment. “Ava, that is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard in my life.” She frowned in confusion and he went on. “You basically just said that if I’d never met you, I never would have fallen in love with you.”

“B-but it’s true!” she stammered, but she knew suddenly that it was useless. The look on Kyle’s face told her that.

“Of course it’s true,” he said, smiling. She was amazed at the fact that there was absolutely no reproach in his words. Instead, he spoke to her gently, as if he were explaining something to a child. He weighed his next words carefully, measured them out for her slowly. “But that’s only if I’d never met you.” He shook his head, and touched her face, tilting her face up so she was looking in his eyes. “Ava, the moment I met you, though, I was doomed.” She winced at his choice of words. Doomed. But he paid no mind. “It would have happened no matter what the circumstances were.”

But she was shaking her head, pulling away from him. “No. No, that’s not true. There was her,” she said, not able to say her double’s name again. “You loved her, you can’t pretend that you didn’t.” She wanted him to deny it. It would have made things easier, to blame it all on her, to make her the reason they couldn’t be together.

He nodded, though, consenting to her. “I know. I did. But that was a long time ago, Ava, I swear. And I would give anything to say that I had met you first, that she was nothing to me. Not for me, though. As far as I’m concerned, the fact that Tess was once in my life means nothing to me now, no more than any other woman I’ve ever met. But I wish for your sake that I’d met you first. Just the idea that you might feel like you have to live up to her… or that I’d even want you to… that kills me, Ava.”

Ava felt a single tear fall then, but even more strongly than that, she felt Kyle fighting his impulse to wipe it away, fighting to give her space.

She wanted so badly to believe him…

Then do, he whispered in her mind, and she gasped. Believe me, Ava, I swear it’s the truth…

She didn’t bother asking him how he’d finally broken through her blocks. She knew that she’d let him through, finally. She’d missed him. She’d hardly had him and she’d missed him terribly.

“I’m just… I’m scared, Kyle,” she finally managed. “I don’t… really know how to do all this…” she gestured between the two of them haltingly. “I’m just… scared.” She was all but sobbing now, and suddenly Kyle was there, forgetting about his attempts to give her space and brushing her tears aside as they fell.

“Ava…” he started, desperately. “Ava, don’t you think I’m scared too?” She shook her head, and he laughed softly, almost amazed at her. “Ava, I’ve never been as scared or excited or worried or… anything as I have these past few months. Since I met you… Ava, I can barely think straight.”

She laughed shakily. “That doesn’t sound like a good thing…”

He shook his head, smiling. A new, light-headed feeling was filling him, making dizzy. Relief. She was giving in. “It’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me,” he promised, brushing the hair away from her face.

He was so close to her. He hadn’t been this close to her in… well, ever, really.

Ava lifted one hand and pressed it to the hand on her cheek, closing her eyes briefly as she tried to catch her breath. “I just… I don’t want to be alone anymore, Kyle. I don’t want to keep fighting this…”

He shook his head, drifting closer and closer to her. “Ava, if I just… I just…”

Finally he met her lips with his own. He kissed her slowly, lingering at every angle until she was kissing him back, their connection suddenly leaping to life. He could hardly see the images or sense the feelings that were tearing through him, though. He felt like he’d never kissed a woman in his life.

When they pulled apart they were both gasping, lightly out of breath. Kyle leaned his forehead so that it touched hers, and closed his eyes humbly, almost in prayer. “Ava, I love you. I don’t know if you’re ready to hear that or not, but it’s true. No matter what happens, it’s you and me now. From here on out… What do you say?”

“Kyle…”

“Please, Ava…”

She was afraid to move, to break out of the moment, falling back into the trap of her old demons, but if only for that kiss alone, she now knew with all her being that this wasn’t about Tess or Zan, or anyone else. They couldn’t hold her back any longer. She thought over the last few weeks, months, running away from Kyle in order to “protect” him, and she couldn’t help but be amazed. Even after all of the pain, the jeopardy she’d put him through, here he was, literally holding his breath for her.

Finally, she nodded, trembling. “From here on out.”