Family Matters - Chapter 49 -09/24/2023
Posted: Sun Sep 24, 2023 3:58 pm
She’s sorry Max could only think. What does that do to the situation now he could not help but think She is finding it easy to say, ‘I am sorry’, as he looked at the woman he loved. The only woman he loved. And they shared a tremendous history together. Full of love and meaning, and yet they could not make it work. And they had both hurt each other in some way or another. And having to say, I am sorry he thought. And she knew it. But she could not help but say it, because she meant. Even if she did not regret the decisions she had made. Still, she knew she was sorry for what it all had led to.
Max hated this, but he had to look at the big picture at the end of the day. “You can say that all you want but it does not take back the past, and it does nothing to help the present” Max muttered. “All I can ask for is that the future is better for all of us, and Claudia is here right now, and I have a chance. And that was not something I had a week ago.”
Liz nodded. But she was sorry and knew they would never get back what they both had lost, and in particular Max. “I hate this for you Max.”
You created it, he wanted to say and knew he was still a little bitter about it. But did not say it because it wouldn’t do them anything to tread old ground when nothing could change what happened or give back what was lost. And as Max indicated. Only the future was possible. Not litigating the past. Or being sorry.
Because what does saying the word sorry get you?
So, they both needed to move on, so it was better to deal with a subject that did not have so much negative emotion attached to it “You really came in the old way?” Liz asked softly, with a smirk and a smile. A smile that Max loved seeing because too much of this was angsty, what else is new they both thought. It was a standard of the past they knew.
“Yes,” Max said equally as softly.
Liz could not help but smile.
Once more the smile was gold to Max. Yet he could not help but think of what he had heard. “What were you talking to our daughter about?”
The past Liz murmured to herself and did not dwell on it anymore. It had already taken out a lot from her in having to remember what she had remembered and did not want to have to go through once more with someone who mattered. “I rather not discuss it” she murmured.
“Liz?” Max asked.
“Max,” Liz said right back. “Let us concentrate on the now, and not the past. Just like we were just talking to our daughter about. We cannot change anything.”
Max murmured something unrecognizable.
“I want to know,” Max said softly. “We were married once. And that was a decision I will never regret,” he murmured with a smile. And it did get him to smile for a moment before it turned to a frown, an inquisitive one though. “Do you regret it?”
It was as if he expected her to say she did.
“Of course not,” Liz murmured. I will never regret it. No matter the changes that came to my life from knowing and loving Max she mused to herself. “I will never regret it,” she said with conviction that was genuine. “I loved you.”
“Do you still love me?” Max could not ask. For no good reason he knew. Why am I doing this to myself? he asked himself because he knew full well that it would do no good for him to get an answer to that question.
“Max,” Liz sighed. Because she knew fully well that I do love him still to this day she knew. Because there was never another man who could make her feel like Max had when they were a teenager, and now in the eighteen years that had passed since their split. But it does nothing to think about feelings when nothing could change any of it.
Max knew he was opening himself up to disappointment. What else is new, he thought. “I guess I don’t want the answer to that,” he said softly. “I hate to think that you don’t anymore” he said softly, and Liz’s eyes turned away from his, but only for a brief second before it returned. “But really Liz even though we may never agree about your decision to leave me and to take our daughter with you, without telling me the truth, even though I am the one who let you leave with her, without my fighting for her to stay” because he knew he could have. Even though he did not know of those original facts, or the fact there was unlikely to be any kind of ending that was any good if Liz had chosen to leave him and their daughter together. Because he did not know any of this. But he also wanted to know, “But I do deserve to know more. I know how it hurts you. I know how much it costs to look into the past. And experience it all over again.”
“No, you don’t” Liz said snappishly.
“Liz,” Max said softly. I do, he thought. Because it was hell to think of his own time.
“You cannot possibly know what it is like” Liz murmured. “You don’t know what it is like to have to make the decision I had to make over these years. So, you could not possibly know…”
“Only because you have not let me in?” Max asked. “If you had let me in. Then maybe you would not have had to do it alone?” he murmured as he could see how emotional it was making his former wife. A woman who he had known for over twenty years. And many more than that, because of when he had first seen her. On that playground he thought. But it would be years before he would know what love felt like, and what it would mean to him.
And it was more than twenty years later, and she was here. After too many years without her even to stare at.
“I know you want to deal with it yourself, but we were married” Max said. “For better and for worse, to death do us part” he said softly, and Liz felt like she was melting. It was always like this with us, she thought. Of her inability to stay away when they were around each other. Because she knew she had not abided by those words.
“Max,” Liz murmured just as softly.
She had known that she had run.
“You keep on saying that I could not possibly have known what it was like?” Max asked. Knowing full well that he should just leave this alone. Leave this room, leave this apartment and head home and deal with the future now that his daughter was in town. Because revisiting old pain, and old trauma will never do anyone any one any good he knew. But I will never be able to leave Liz, he thought, not truly he thought.
I might walk away on occasion, but Liz will always have my heart, and she has so many answers that I don’t know the answer to.
“Leave it alone Max,” Liz said softly.
“I know it has to be bad for you,” Max asked. As he was once more trying to figure out why it matters at all? When he should be dealing with the now, and not dealing with the past, because that will not change, he thought, I will never be able to go back and fix what I lost. But it was not hard to miss that his former wife was still traumatized by whatever went down.
After all, he knew what trauma was like. Because he had dealt with it once upon a time.
“It was hell,” Liz murmured. Softly, as flashes came to her and of screams. “But as I said, you cannot possibly know what it was like.”
“I wish I did,” Max sighed.
“You will never know what it was like to leave you. To take Claudia from you,” Liz muttered as memories took over of their wedding. A day that had been so memorable, despite the circumstances. On the road, fleeing from the authorities and having to leave our families, we stopped with the mountains behind us, and in that little white church she thought. We were so in love she thought of that day, and then to have their daughter. Everything was perfect, she thought. For like a second, she knew. What else is new. “To leave the life I wanted, when I married you” she sighed. “It should never have been like that, but it was. They wanted me to leave you. To leave Claudia, and they were threatening you, Isabel and Michael. But Isabel and Michael had the safety in being away from us, but even then, if I said no, I knew they would be picked up just like you and Claudia would be” Liz murmured. Because she knew fully well that she had not told her former husband any of this. Only Claudia now knew. And even then, there was more her daughter did not know.
It all came out at once, and Max could not grasp any of it. Because none of it made any sense because it was contrary to what he had known of the situation to this point. “What are you talking about?” he asked as it slowly sunk in. “They did not want Claudia?”
Of course not, she thought. Why would they want our child, she thought to herself. “As I said to you in the beginning,” Liz muttered, because she swore, she had said it before, but she knew there had been so much talk, and she could not remember all of it, “I had to convince them that she was safe, but no,” Liz said finally confessing. “They did not want our little girl to come with me. That would never have been in their plans,” she muttered. “In ordinary times, and those times were not ordinary times. All they wanted was for me to leave the two of you Max” she said. “To walk away from you two.”
“Claudia would have been with me?” Max asked, as if that would have made a difference. When he knew it would never happen. Not without Liz in our lives.
“Yes,” Liz said softly, too softly. And it almost broke her heart to have to admit it. Same knowing it was all a façade. “They wanted me to leave you. To walk away. Leave you and our daughter,” she said with a frown, and it almost destroyed Max to know what the government had wanted. Yet my daughter would have been with me, but not Liz.
“If you did what they wanted?” Max asked.
Liz could only nod yes.
“What could you say to their demands?” Max asked. Because of course they both knew what history would say was done.
“I said no,” Liz said softly.
Max was not expecting that. Given the agreement that she would come too, and the fact she had walked away. Something had to have happened, and for her to make the decision she had, and so he figured that something happened to cause her to leave.
Of course, something had to have happened Max muttered. It always did.
“There was no way I was going to leave you and Claudia,” Liz said softly. “And I was adamant. Max, there was no way in hell I was going to leave you and Claudia alone.”
Obviously, you did Max mused. “What made you change your mind? Max asked.
“The threats,” Liz said simply. “They did not like that I was with you. That we were married or had Claudia. They did not think you were worthy and got on my case. But when they promised to go pick you up for crimes you had committed in Roswell or over state lines. The stuff they knew. Which was probably our whole rap sheet,” she muttered, and Max winced because he knew had not been so innocent. Some of the stuff they had done was not a good look for him, and it was not easy to look at himself in the mirror. He hated that it was going to be his legacy, and something his daughter was going to be aware of, once Claudia knows more… he thought as he looked at the woman who held his heart as she was clearly in the middle of a remembrance. “I wanted to just spit in their face. But I knew they were serious Max. They were talking about arresting you, and then going after Michael and Isabel. And they knew all of their locations. The only person they did not know was Kyle, but Kyle did not matter in those days. But you did. You mattered. You and Claudia mattered,” she said softly. “They were threatening me Max,” she said softly. “They were even threatening me with Claudia.”
Oh god Max thought. He knew the authorities were out there and come down hard on them at any point. Sure, he knew that. Which is why they had run, we had too he had known. But he did not think they would. That rose colored glass view he knew. We got away.
We had separated from the group and living our own life.
“They knew our alias’s Max,” Liz said softly, and Max felt slowly devastated. He knew the risk they were taking with those stupid aliases. Slightly altered to make them more palatable. “They knew everything. But I was trying to deny it. But they had too much leverage on us. I knew they could have done something worse. They could have picked you up. And then they even threatened it,” she murmured with remnants of the fear coursing through of what she had faced back then, those memories are still with me to this day. “Max, they threatened to take Claudia away from us if I said no.”
“They would never have succeeded,” Max said softly. I would have called in the army to prevent that from happening.
“They knew your crimes, whether they could prove them or not. They knew what you were. And what you guys were able to do, thanks to that tape that your parents made that told the tale. At least in terms of Isabel…” she muttered. And they could probably trace it to you and Michael pretty quickly.
Hell Max thought. Because it was the one thing, he knew his parents had been living down until the day his mother had died. Being what they had done to Isabel and him, with the spying.
Not that we were not suspicious, he knew.
We were he knew. But it was something he would always regret. Waiting so long to tell Mom and Dad and therefore he knew they were living it down until the day his mother had passed away, which is why it was such a shock to know there was something else Dad had done that would change my life, he thought. He had known his father was sorry for what he and his mother had done. I could not blame him because of what we kept from them, but why did it give him the right to keep something so fundamental from him.
It did not, and that is why he and his father still were on the outs because of it.
“They could have painted us in a bad light,” Liz said softly. “They did not like who you were, or that I loved you” she murmured. “They would have painted me as unfit.”
Max definitely knew they could have painted them in a different light, which is why Michael, Isabel and I were so afraid to say anything he knew.
“You are as far as unfit as you can get?” Max murmured. “They can say whatever they want about me, and most of it is probably true, but you were never me” he said softly, as he grabbed Liz’s hand, and glanced right into her eyes. “I mean it Liz. You were incredible. They would never have been able to credibly say you were unfit.”
“Max, I almost went to prison for armed robbery, in which I held a gun,” Liz murmured even if it was blank, and we ultimately melted it and they would never be able to find it but still it was an extremely bad look “and you only got me out of it because you blackmailed the government agent, along with your father.”
I know Max murmured of one of those moments where he did not regret his actions. As long as Liz was safe and out of jail than I was fine with doing anything to bring that about…
“And your family would have looked to have issues,” Liz murmured. Given Isabel was just like Max, and Phillip was a corporate attorney… “They would have grabbed you, and put Claudia in foster care, and we would never have gotten her back.”
“You don’t know that…” Max muttered. “Our families.”
“As we both know, if the government wants to win, they will throw every obstacle into the battle” Liz murmured.
Max nodded.
“They wanted me to leave you and Claudia” Liz muttered.
Max nodded once more.
“But I said No, and I meant it when I said it Max” Liz murmured. “There was no way I was going to leave you and our daughter.”
And yet, you did was hanging out there in the air between them.
“There was no way I was going to cave to their demands” Liz said softly.
“Then what happened?” Max asked. Even though he did not really want to know because he hated to know Liz was at any point in time, pained because of me.
It was all because of me he would muse. I started this by jumping into the fire to save her life, and everything that came afterwards was a direct result of that action he knew. But looking at the love of his life. He knew he would do the same thing today if given the chance. It was always Liz.
Always…
“What happened?” Max asked.
“I don’t want to talk about it,” Liz said reverting back to her skittishness. Because she had tried to move on from that day, for now eighteen years, and to talk about it, would be re-living it, and she did not want to do that. Not now.
I am supposed to be moving on, not going backwards she thought as she saw Max tense. “It does not matter what happened to get me to change my mind. I did change my mind. But I got them to allow me to take Claudia.”
“Why?” Max asked. “If they did not like the idea of me, then why would they agree to allow you to take our daughter with you?” he asked.
“I convinced them that she was normal, as I already told you” Liz sighed. “I had too,” she said. “As much as I knew you would love her, and take care of her, but if they were already threatening to take her away from us, then I did not trust that if something happened and they reneged on our agreement and picked you up, then Claudia would be taken away from us, and put in the system. And seeing how it was for Michael. To be special, and to know no one can understand, well, I could not do it.”
Max nodded. Michael’s life was hell until he got out of Hank’s custody, and even then, it was not how it should have been he knew. Thankfully he and Isabel had been there to keep him on the right track, although there were a few sidetracks here and there he knew.
“We would have lost our daughter. And we would never have gotten her back” Liz cried. “And she would have had no one to really get her.”
Max did not know how to handle any of this. This encounter or anything. He had simply come to see his daughter, and now landed himself in a very emotional scene with his former wife. Because he hated to see her upset, I hate to see her hurt.
It was like that at eighteen, and especially more so nineteen years later. After so much heartache and separation and now they were in the same room, and all Max could do was take the love of his life into his arms for a simple hug.
But nothing was simple with Max and Liz.
It had never been and was not now.
“Max,” Liz said softly. Unable to take a step back from the man she had had shared so much and yet they had spent more time apart then they had been together, and yet their connection was unmistaken and remarkable. “I cannot do this?”
“It will get better,” Max said simply. As he was not giving his answer.
“I had to do what I had to do. To save you and to keep Claudia,” Liz said softly. “And I still said no.”
“What did they do to get you to change your mind?” Max asked, once more. As he was clearly hoping she would finally tell him. Because he had many images in his mind, and they were not easy to handle. But he had no idea if any of them were true, or for real. Because he had experienced his own horrors, and he knew he had only gone through a small portion of what Agent Fisher was truly capable of, and if Liz had been resistant. He could only imagine.
It was a horror movie in his head.
Liz did not want to remember. And she also did not want Max to know. “I don’t want to relive that day,” Liz said simply. Even though she was herself, and it was clear she was and even Max knew it.
And therefore, he was at a loss to lessen then pain he could not begin to understand or know of…
“Liz, please, let me help you?” Max asked in an almost pleadingly way.
“I don’t need help,” Liz said softly but she was not about to walk away from the embrace, because it felt good to be in Max’s arms again.
“Everyone needs a little help, and a little support” Max murmured as he felt entranced by this embrace. Even though he knew he should not be. He should be walking away. Staying away from his own sanity, but it is Liz.
And it will always be Liz for me. Whether that is good or bad in the long run, and she’s hurting he knew. I need to support her through the emotional revelations of this talk. “I love you, Liz.”
“Max, please don’t” Liz asked, pleadingly like because she knew it was the last thing they needed, to mix love into this angst. “We should not be doing this. We should be thinking about Claudia,” Yes, Claudia. We should be thinking about our little girl, she murmured, trying to convince herself to walk away from this situation. A situation that she did not need. She is no longer a little girl, and we have to deal with that… “We should be thinking of our daughter,” she murmured but Max was not going to allow her to walk away from him again nor was he going to walk away from her, as said nothing and they both clung on, when both knew they were both hopeless, and they should be better than this, but it was them, and we cannot help it they knew as they simply hung on, but they could not help but lean in for a kiss.
A kiss that grew explosive…
As the flashes began, whether one of them wanted them too or not.
Max hated this, but he had to look at the big picture at the end of the day. “You can say that all you want but it does not take back the past, and it does nothing to help the present” Max muttered. “All I can ask for is that the future is better for all of us, and Claudia is here right now, and I have a chance. And that was not something I had a week ago.”
Liz nodded. But she was sorry and knew they would never get back what they both had lost, and in particular Max. “I hate this for you Max.”
You created it, he wanted to say and knew he was still a little bitter about it. But did not say it because it wouldn’t do them anything to tread old ground when nothing could change what happened or give back what was lost. And as Max indicated. Only the future was possible. Not litigating the past. Or being sorry.
Because what does saying the word sorry get you?
So, they both needed to move on, so it was better to deal with a subject that did not have so much negative emotion attached to it “You really came in the old way?” Liz asked softly, with a smirk and a smile. A smile that Max loved seeing because too much of this was angsty, what else is new they both thought. It was a standard of the past they knew.
“Yes,” Max said equally as softly.
Liz could not help but smile.
Once more the smile was gold to Max. Yet he could not help but think of what he had heard. “What were you talking to our daughter about?”
The past Liz murmured to herself and did not dwell on it anymore. It had already taken out a lot from her in having to remember what she had remembered and did not want to have to go through once more with someone who mattered. “I rather not discuss it” she murmured.
“Liz?” Max asked.
“Max,” Liz said right back. “Let us concentrate on the now, and not the past. Just like we were just talking to our daughter about. We cannot change anything.”
Max murmured something unrecognizable.
“I want to know,” Max said softly. “We were married once. And that was a decision I will never regret,” he murmured with a smile. And it did get him to smile for a moment before it turned to a frown, an inquisitive one though. “Do you regret it?”
It was as if he expected her to say she did.
“Of course not,” Liz murmured. I will never regret it. No matter the changes that came to my life from knowing and loving Max she mused to herself. “I will never regret it,” she said with conviction that was genuine. “I loved you.”
“Do you still love me?” Max could not ask. For no good reason he knew. Why am I doing this to myself? he asked himself because he knew full well that it would do no good for him to get an answer to that question.
“Max,” Liz sighed. Because she knew fully well that I do love him still to this day she knew. Because there was never another man who could make her feel like Max had when they were a teenager, and now in the eighteen years that had passed since their split. But it does nothing to think about feelings when nothing could change any of it.
Max knew he was opening himself up to disappointment. What else is new, he thought. “I guess I don’t want the answer to that,” he said softly. “I hate to think that you don’t anymore” he said softly, and Liz’s eyes turned away from his, but only for a brief second before it returned. “But really Liz even though we may never agree about your decision to leave me and to take our daughter with you, without telling me the truth, even though I am the one who let you leave with her, without my fighting for her to stay” because he knew he could have. Even though he did not know of those original facts, or the fact there was unlikely to be any kind of ending that was any good if Liz had chosen to leave him and their daughter together. Because he did not know any of this. But he also wanted to know, “But I do deserve to know more. I know how it hurts you. I know how much it costs to look into the past. And experience it all over again.”
“No, you don’t” Liz said snappishly.
“Liz,” Max said softly. I do, he thought. Because it was hell to think of his own time.
“You cannot possibly know what it is like” Liz murmured. “You don’t know what it is like to have to make the decision I had to make over these years. So, you could not possibly know…”
“Only because you have not let me in?” Max asked. “If you had let me in. Then maybe you would not have had to do it alone?” he murmured as he could see how emotional it was making his former wife. A woman who he had known for over twenty years. And many more than that, because of when he had first seen her. On that playground he thought. But it would be years before he would know what love felt like, and what it would mean to him.
And it was more than twenty years later, and she was here. After too many years without her even to stare at.
“I know you want to deal with it yourself, but we were married” Max said. “For better and for worse, to death do us part” he said softly, and Liz felt like she was melting. It was always like this with us, she thought. Of her inability to stay away when they were around each other. Because she knew she had not abided by those words.
“Max,” Liz murmured just as softly.
She had known that she had run.
“You keep on saying that I could not possibly have known what it was like?” Max asked. Knowing full well that he should just leave this alone. Leave this room, leave this apartment and head home and deal with the future now that his daughter was in town. Because revisiting old pain, and old trauma will never do anyone any one any good he knew. But I will never be able to leave Liz, he thought, not truly he thought.
I might walk away on occasion, but Liz will always have my heart, and she has so many answers that I don’t know the answer to.
“Leave it alone Max,” Liz said softly.
“I know it has to be bad for you,” Max asked. As he was once more trying to figure out why it matters at all? When he should be dealing with the now, and not dealing with the past, because that will not change, he thought, I will never be able to go back and fix what I lost. But it was not hard to miss that his former wife was still traumatized by whatever went down.
After all, he knew what trauma was like. Because he had dealt with it once upon a time.
“It was hell,” Liz murmured. Softly, as flashes came to her and of screams. “But as I said, you cannot possibly know what it was like.”
“I wish I did,” Max sighed.
“You will never know what it was like to leave you. To take Claudia from you,” Liz muttered as memories took over of their wedding. A day that had been so memorable, despite the circumstances. On the road, fleeing from the authorities and having to leave our families, we stopped with the mountains behind us, and in that little white church she thought. We were so in love she thought of that day, and then to have their daughter. Everything was perfect, she thought. For like a second, she knew. What else is new. “To leave the life I wanted, when I married you” she sighed. “It should never have been like that, but it was. They wanted me to leave you. To leave Claudia, and they were threatening you, Isabel and Michael. But Isabel and Michael had the safety in being away from us, but even then, if I said no, I knew they would be picked up just like you and Claudia would be” Liz murmured. Because she knew fully well that she had not told her former husband any of this. Only Claudia now knew. And even then, there was more her daughter did not know.
It all came out at once, and Max could not grasp any of it. Because none of it made any sense because it was contrary to what he had known of the situation to this point. “What are you talking about?” he asked as it slowly sunk in. “They did not want Claudia?”
Of course not, she thought. Why would they want our child, she thought to herself. “As I said to you in the beginning,” Liz muttered, because she swore, she had said it before, but she knew there had been so much talk, and she could not remember all of it, “I had to convince them that she was safe, but no,” Liz said finally confessing. “They did not want our little girl to come with me. That would never have been in their plans,” she muttered. “In ordinary times, and those times were not ordinary times. All they wanted was for me to leave the two of you Max” she said. “To walk away from you two.”
“Claudia would have been with me?” Max asked, as if that would have made a difference. When he knew it would never happen. Not without Liz in our lives.
“Yes,” Liz said softly, too softly. And it almost broke her heart to have to admit it. Same knowing it was all a façade. “They wanted me to leave you. To walk away. Leave you and our daughter,” she said with a frown, and it almost destroyed Max to know what the government had wanted. Yet my daughter would have been with me, but not Liz.
“If you did what they wanted?” Max asked.
Liz could only nod yes.
“What could you say to their demands?” Max asked. Because of course they both knew what history would say was done.
“I said no,” Liz said softly.
Max was not expecting that. Given the agreement that she would come too, and the fact she had walked away. Something had to have happened, and for her to make the decision she had, and so he figured that something happened to cause her to leave.
Of course, something had to have happened Max muttered. It always did.
“There was no way I was going to leave you and Claudia,” Liz said softly. “And I was adamant. Max, there was no way in hell I was going to leave you and Claudia alone.”
Obviously, you did Max mused. “What made you change your mind? Max asked.
“The threats,” Liz said simply. “They did not like that I was with you. That we were married or had Claudia. They did not think you were worthy and got on my case. But when they promised to go pick you up for crimes you had committed in Roswell or over state lines. The stuff they knew. Which was probably our whole rap sheet,” she muttered, and Max winced because he knew had not been so innocent. Some of the stuff they had done was not a good look for him, and it was not easy to look at himself in the mirror. He hated that it was going to be his legacy, and something his daughter was going to be aware of, once Claudia knows more… he thought as he looked at the woman who held his heart as she was clearly in the middle of a remembrance. “I wanted to just spit in their face. But I knew they were serious Max. They were talking about arresting you, and then going after Michael and Isabel. And they knew all of their locations. The only person they did not know was Kyle, but Kyle did not matter in those days. But you did. You mattered. You and Claudia mattered,” she said softly. “They were threatening me Max,” she said softly. “They were even threatening me with Claudia.”
Oh god Max thought. He knew the authorities were out there and come down hard on them at any point. Sure, he knew that. Which is why they had run, we had too he had known. But he did not think they would. That rose colored glass view he knew. We got away.
We had separated from the group and living our own life.
“They knew our alias’s Max,” Liz said softly, and Max felt slowly devastated. He knew the risk they were taking with those stupid aliases. Slightly altered to make them more palatable. “They knew everything. But I was trying to deny it. But they had too much leverage on us. I knew they could have done something worse. They could have picked you up. And then they even threatened it,” she murmured with remnants of the fear coursing through of what she had faced back then, those memories are still with me to this day. “Max, they threatened to take Claudia away from us if I said no.”
“They would never have succeeded,” Max said softly. I would have called in the army to prevent that from happening.
“They knew your crimes, whether they could prove them or not. They knew what you were. And what you guys were able to do, thanks to that tape that your parents made that told the tale. At least in terms of Isabel…” she muttered. And they could probably trace it to you and Michael pretty quickly.
Hell Max thought. Because it was the one thing, he knew his parents had been living down until the day his mother had died. Being what they had done to Isabel and him, with the spying.
Not that we were not suspicious, he knew.
We were he knew. But it was something he would always regret. Waiting so long to tell Mom and Dad and therefore he knew they were living it down until the day his mother had passed away, which is why it was such a shock to know there was something else Dad had done that would change my life, he thought. He had known his father was sorry for what he and his mother had done. I could not blame him because of what we kept from them, but why did it give him the right to keep something so fundamental from him.
It did not, and that is why he and his father still were on the outs because of it.
“They could have painted us in a bad light,” Liz said softly. “They did not like who you were, or that I loved you” she murmured. “They would have painted me as unfit.”
Max definitely knew they could have painted them in a different light, which is why Michael, Isabel and I were so afraid to say anything he knew.
“You are as far as unfit as you can get?” Max murmured. “They can say whatever they want about me, and most of it is probably true, but you were never me” he said softly, as he grabbed Liz’s hand, and glanced right into her eyes. “I mean it Liz. You were incredible. They would never have been able to credibly say you were unfit.”
“Max, I almost went to prison for armed robbery, in which I held a gun,” Liz murmured even if it was blank, and we ultimately melted it and they would never be able to find it but still it was an extremely bad look “and you only got me out of it because you blackmailed the government agent, along with your father.”
I know Max murmured of one of those moments where he did not regret his actions. As long as Liz was safe and out of jail than I was fine with doing anything to bring that about…
“And your family would have looked to have issues,” Liz murmured. Given Isabel was just like Max, and Phillip was a corporate attorney… “They would have grabbed you, and put Claudia in foster care, and we would never have gotten her back.”
“You don’t know that…” Max muttered. “Our families.”
“As we both know, if the government wants to win, they will throw every obstacle into the battle” Liz murmured.
Max nodded.
“They wanted me to leave you and Claudia” Liz muttered.
Max nodded once more.
“But I said No, and I meant it when I said it Max” Liz murmured. “There was no way I was going to leave you and our daughter.”
And yet, you did was hanging out there in the air between them.
“There was no way I was going to cave to their demands” Liz said softly.
“Then what happened?” Max asked. Even though he did not really want to know because he hated to know Liz was at any point in time, pained because of me.
It was all because of me he would muse. I started this by jumping into the fire to save her life, and everything that came afterwards was a direct result of that action he knew. But looking at the love of his life. He knew he would do the same thing today if given the chance. It was always Liz.
Always…
“What happened?” Max asked.
“I don’t want to talk about it,” Liz said reverting back to her skittishness. Because she had tried to move on from that day, for now eighteen years, and to talk about it, would be re-living it, and she did not want to do that. Not now.
I am supposed to be moving on, not going backwards she thought as she saw Max tense. “It does not matter what happened to get me to change my mind. I did change my mind. But I got them to allow me to take Claudia.”
“Why?” Max asked. “If they did not like the idea of me, then why would they agree to allow you to take our daughter with you?” he asked.
“I convinced them that she was normal, as I already told you” Liz sighed. “I had too,” she said. “As much as I knew you would love her, and take care of her, but if they were already threatening to take her away from us, then I did not trust that if something happened and they reneged on our agreement and picked you up, then Claudia would be taken away from us, and put in the system. And seeing how it was for Michael. To be special, and to know no one can understand, well, I could not do it.”
Max nodded. Michael’s life was hell until he got out of Hank’s custody, and even then, it was not how it should have been he knew. Thankfully he and Isabel had been there to keep him on the right track, although there were a few sidetracks here and there he knew.
“We would have lost our daughter. And we would never have gotten her back” Liz cried. “And she would have had no one to really get her.”
Max did not know how to handle any of this. This encounter or anything. He had simply come to see his daughter, and now landed himself in a very emotional scene with his former wife. Because he hated to see her upset, I hate to see her hurt.
It was like that at eighteen, and especially more so nineteen years later. After so much heartache and separation and now they were in the same room, and all Max could do was take the love of his life into his arms for a simple hug.
But nothing was simple with Max and Liz.
It had never been and was not now.
“Max,” Liz said softly. Unable to take a step back from the man she had had shared so much and yet they had spent more time apart then they had been together, and yet their connection was unmistaken and remarkable. “I cannot do this?”
“It will get better,” Max said simply. As he was not giving his answer.
“I had to do what I had to do. To save you and to keep Claudia,” Liz said softly. “And I still said no.”
“What did they do to get you to change your mind?” Max asked, once more. As he was clearly hoping she would finally tell him. Because he had many images in his mind, and they were not easy to handle. But he had no idea if any of them were true, or for real. Because he had experienced his own horrors, and he knew he had only gone through a small portion of what Agent Fisher was truly capable of, and if Liz had been resistant. He could only imagine.
It was a horror movie in his head.
Liz did not want to remember. And she also did not want Max to know. “I don’t want to relive that day,” Liz said simply. Even though she was herself, and it was clear she was and even Max knew it.
And therefore, he was at a loss to lessen then pain he could not begin to understand or know of…
“Liz, please, let me help you?” Max asked in an almost pleadingly way.
“I don’t need help,” Liz said softly but she was not about to walk away from the embrace, because it felt good to be in Max’s arms again.
“Everyone needs a little help, and a little support” Max murmured as he felt entranced by this embrace. Even though he knew he should not be. He should be walking away. Staying away from his own sanity, but it is Liz.
And it will always be Liz for me. Whether that is good or bad in the long run, and she’s hurting he knew. I need to support her through the emotional revelations of this talk. “I love you, Liz.”
“Max, please don’t” Liz asked, pleadingly like because she knew it was the last thing they needed, to mix love into this angst. “We should not be doing this. We should be thinking about Claudia,” Yes, Claudia. We should be thinking about our little girl, she murmured, trying to convince herself to walk away from this situation. A situation that she did not need. She is no longer a little girl, and we have to deal with that… “We should be thinking of our daughter,” she murmured but Max was not going to allow her to walk away from him again nor was he going to walk away from her, as said nothing and they both clung on, when both knew they were both hopeless, and they should be better than this, but it was them, and we cannot help it they knew as they simply hung on, but they could not help but lean in for a kiss.
A kiss that grew explosive…
As the flashes began, whether one of them wanted them too or not.