Series: Forbidden Dreams
Disclaimer: The characters and concepts of "Roswell" belong to Jason Katims, Melinda Metz, and 20th Century Fox. Lyrics to Butterfly Kisses belong to Bob Carlisle and Randy Thomas.
Pairings: Although there are Polar notes, this is not a Polar story per se. It revolves around the relationship between Michael and one of his and Liz’s daughters.
Category: Family
Rating: Child (I know me write a child piece? Had to happen at some point. I can't wallow in the sewer all the time.)
Summary: On the day Michael gives his daughter Nikki (Ladybug for those you who followed the Forbidden Dreams drabbles, plus the other shorts based on them) away, he recalls the special shared moments between them.
AN: A warning, despite some bittersweet emotions, this is pure, unabashed sap. If you can’t handle uber fluffy stories, you might want to leave now. Other stories in this story include the Forbidden Dreams vignettes, Arms Wide Open,Thanksgiving Blessings and War of Wits.
AN2: So I'm told I should warn people; while not angst, this is a bittersweet story and you may need tissues. I myself cried as I was writing it and have since been told by three people that it's sad. So consider yourself warned!
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Butterfly Kisses
Leaning against the low railing of his wraparound porch, Michael stared out over the backyard, sipping on his coffee and enjoying the quiet before the start of the coming hectic day, a bittersweet smile curving on his lips as he stared at a yard curiously devoid of toys and childish laughter. It seemed like only yesterday that his children were out here huddled up and planning to take over their little dominion while he and Liz watched out the window, chuckling as Claudia ordered her troops around.
Drawing a deep breath of jasmine-scented air, his heart pinched a bit as his thoughts turned to the coming day. His Ladybug, his baby girl, was getting married. Where had all the time gone? He could have sworn that just yesterday they had brought her home and now…now she was a woman grown and about to step out and plan her own family. Throat constricting, his eyes misted as he swirled his coffee idly and he dropped his gaze, his mind filled with memories.
There's two things I know for sure
She was sent here from heaven
And she's daddy's little girl
Yawning sleepily, he slipped into a blue and green celestial-themed room and hovered over the white baby crib for a moment, staring at his six-month old daughter, her eyes wide-open and blinking hazily at him, a soft whimper bubbling over her lips as he lowered the railing. Bending over, he slid his arms under her back and head, lifting her from the mattress gently and set her against his shoulder, humming quietly to shush her as he padded out to the kitchen to grab a bottle, knowing that her mamma needed the rest more than he did.
Heating the formula with a quick surge of his powers, he tested it quickly before cradling Nikki in the crook of his arm, placing the bottle to her lips, and chuckled when she latched onto it greedily. His princess was so not a princess when it came to eating. Padding back into her room, he sat in the rocking chair Liz had bought when they first heard she was pregnant with Claudia and had since rocked all of their children to sleep.
Staring down into her face, his heart swelled with love and a warm wash of wonder as her little hand latched onto his as he held her bottle, a quick little connection forged between them as she guzzled down her milk, her energy washing over him, bringing a sense of trust and love with it, making his throat choke with emotion as their energies mingled and entwined, bringing an overwhelming sense of joy and awe with it.
Pulling the bottle away, he transferred her to his shoulder and patted out the bubbles as he rocked her gently, humming under his breath as her aura touched his again, the faintest tickling sensation that made him chuckle again at the touch. He could never get used to this bond with this particular daughter, which went deeper in so many ways than the one he shared with her sister Claudia.
It wasn’t to say he didn’t love all his children equally, but there was something special about this little girl in his arms. A sense of peace and contentment wrapped around him as he sat there trying to figure out what he’d done to deserve this life, but he wasn’t going to question this tiny miracle in his arms. He had no doubt that she was going to be the one just like him, both in temperament and development.
As I drop to my knees by her bed at night
She talks to Jesus and I close my eyes
And I thank God for all of the joy in my life
Oh, but most of all
“And God bless mamma and daddy and Claudia,” Nikki intoned thoughtfully, her little eyes scrunched tightly shut, her hands pressed together, her forehead furrowing as she paused for a moment, making Michael’s lips quirk as he waited for her to continue knowing that she wasn’t done quite yet, barely managing to hold back a snort of laugher as she frowned and sighed, grumbling petulantly. “And God bless Hal even though he sticked gum in my hair. And God bless Twinkles. And God bless…”
Leaning against the wall, his eyes sparkled as he listened to his daughter list her blessings, his lips curved into a soft, slightly amused grin as he looked over her head full of blond ringlets to meet Liz’s equally amused grin. He shook his head at all the things a four-year-old could think of to ask for God’s blessings in her very short life, but the list seemed to get longer every night, likely to put off bedtime as long as possible if he knew his little girl. Not that he minded; this was his favorite time. Just him, his little girl and her mamma while the others were still getting ready for bed.
There was a time in his life he would have scoffed at the thought of there being some higher power watching over them, didn’t think a God would have brought the heartache he had experienced in his life if he existed. But then he looked at his wife and his children everyday and knew without a doubt that not only did He exist, He knew exactly what He was doing, as those heartaches had lead him to his greatest joys.
“Amen,” Nikki finished, heaving a great sigh of relief as her prayers wound down, then turned her huge brown eyes to him, her cheeks dimpling as she grinned. “All done, daddy.”
“You sure, peanut?” he teased softly, pushing off the wall and crawling over to her, dragging the giggling girl into his arms and placing noisy kisses all over her cheeks and neck as she protested loudly, half-heartedly fending off his lips with her tiny hands, squealing. “Stop it daddy. Told you, I not a peanut.”
“Oh, what were you again?” he laughed, scooping her up, cuddling her as she wrapped her arms around him and squeezed, her face all smiles as he lowered her into her bed, tucking her under her covers as she snuggled down between the covers, her eyes blinking at him sleepily, her tiny hand covering a yawn.
“I a Ladybug. Kisses daddy.” she demanded sleepily, reaching her arms up to him for their nightly ritual, giggling when he rubbed his nose against hers affectionately, following it with a flutter of lashes that made him chuckle as well as they shared butterfly kisses and then he kissed her forehead, a warm, sweet wash of love filling him as she tugged on her hair and closed her eyes as he whispered, “Night, Ladybug.”
For butterfly kisses after bedtime prayer
Stickin' little white flowers all up in her hair
Walk beside the pony daddy, it's my first ride
I know the cake looks funny daddy, but I sure tried
Closing his eyes, he smiled and was tempted to open them and turn around to see what his little Ladybug had planned this time for his birthday, but knew that he’d never hear the end of it if he dared her wrath. Instead, he amused himself by thinking back to last year’s birthday breakfast disaster, a smile tugging at his lips as he recalled his then seven-year-old’s disappointed moue as he stared at what he thought was a pile of pancakes, but looked like a leaning tower of mush.
In theory, Tabasco, pineapple and coconut pancakes sounded really good, but they didn’t quite work out in reality and he was left with the end result of the culinary disaster his daughter had dreamed up all by herself. That was one place they didn’t match; his Ladybug had definitely gotten her mother’s flair for cooking, not his. But wanting to put that beautiful, sparkling ‘Liz’ smile on her face, he had eaten every last bite and asked for seconds although he’d paid for it dearly later that day.
Shaken out of his thoughts as his family came in singing to him, he grinned and sniffed at the air, the sweet scent of chocolate and tangy spice of Tabasco filling his nose as a platter was set before him, the soft heat of what he presumed were lit candles on a cake warming his cheeks as he felt his daughter’s soft rosy aura at his side, keeping his eyes shut until she gave him permission to open them.
“You can open them now, Daddy,” she whispered from his right, her voice slightly uncertain as if she was worried her creation wasn’t as perfect as she wanted it to be. If she only knew that he would eat dirt if she told him that it was their dinner that evening. Opening his eyes, his smiled deepened as he stared at the chocolate and Tabasco confection sitting on the table in front of him, covered with pale blue candles.
The cake was lopsided, one side definitely higher than the other side by a good inch, and he could tell that she must have frosted it herself as the chocolate frosting was thick in some places and barely covering others and the happy birthday, written in red gel, was wobbly but it was the most perfect cake he’d ever seen.
Turning to Nikki, he smiled when he saw her nibbling her lower lip nervously, just like her mamma always did when she was nervous or thinking, her eyes filled with worry and twirling one long, dark-blond lock around her finger as she stared at him. Wrapping his arm around her, he pulled her into his arms and kissed her cheek. “Thank you Ladybug, it’s the most beautiful cake I’ve ever had.”
“Dad…” she drawled, rolling her eyes at his obvious lie, but smiling that special smile that always reminded him of her mother when she was younger, pushing against his shoulder and snorting when he refused to let her go, tickling her ribs as she giggled helplessly, complaining. “Sheesh, stop calling me that, I’m too old to be a Ladybug.”
“Nope, you will always be my Ladybug,” he refuted, rumpling her hair affectionately before turning back to his cake and blew out the candles as he teased her softly, grinning when she rolled her eyes at his demands. “Now cut me a piece of that cake before I starve.”
Oh, with all that I've done wrong
I must have done something right
To deserve a hug every mornin'
And butterfly kisses at night
He watched her quietly as he slowly walked over to where his thirteen-year-old daughter sat on a low concrete wall, her face long, disappointment burning in her dark bourbon eyes as she stared absently at the cascading water fountain, her shoulders hunched and a frown etched in her face. Heart heavy, he sat down next to her, his eyes flicking over her back as he searched for the words to cheer her up, knowing that she was heartbroken for her second place finish despite the hard work she had put into her piece. He knew all too well what it felt like to think you’re not good enough.
“I suck,” she whispered, her voice choked up with the tears she was desperately fighting back and having a hard time quelling them as they laced her thick sable lashes, her silky brown hair sliding over her cheek as she looked down at the water, dragging her fingers over the surface listlessly. “I shouldn’t have entered.”
Staring at her back, he fought back his own emotions, his heart aching for her remembering how passionately she felt about her art, his mind frantically searching for the right words to say to assuage her far too fragile ego and make her smile once more. Leaning over, he studied her crestfallen face and said the only thing he could think of; “What do they know? They’re a bunch of tasteless teachers. I mean seriously, did you see what that one judge was wearing? Green and orange? What look was she going for? A Halloween pumpkin? And the print? I wouldn’t even make curtains out of that.”
“Dad!” she snorted, her eyes rounding incredulously as she spun around, but the faint glimmer of humor starting to sparkle in her eyes, chasing the gloom from her face, her lips twitching as she shook her head at him and bit her lip to keep the smile from blooming across her pretty upturned face. Smiling down into her face, his heart lurched at how much she reminded him of Liz in that instant, except her eyes…those eyes were purely him, along with the passionate temperament and chuckled when she gasped. “I can’t believe you said that.”
“Yeah, you’re right, that was bad. Don’t tell your mom, she’ll kick my butt,” he snickered, wrapping an arm around her and pulling her close, his heart warming when she smiled up at him reluctantly and leaned her head on his shoulder, looking up at him sadly as she let out a heavy sigh. Kissing her forehead, he leaned his head on the crown of hers and remained quiet as he selected his words carefully. “It was beautiful baby, and you gave it all you had didn’t you?”
“Yeah,” she whispered, her smile dimming the slightest as she scuffed her toe against the concrete and sighed again, her bottom lip trapped between her teeth as her eyes danced around the emptying quad, her fingers lacing with his.
“Well then, Ladybug,” he replied with an arched brow, smirking when she scrunched her nose up at him at the use of his personal nickname, the one she had chosen for herself at the tender age of four and he had refused to relinquish despite her protests. “That makes you a winner in my eyes and as long as it makes you happy, what does it matter what they think?”
“Thanks, dad,” she smiled, kissing him on the cheek before she stood, pulling him to his feet and linking her arm with his as they walked across the quad to join Liz and the others where they waited at the edge of the grass, tossing him a smirk as she said. “And stop calling me Ladybug.”
“Never. You will always be my Ladybug,” he chuckled, looping his arm around her shoulders and squeezing her gently. “So get over it.”
Sweet sixteen today
She's lookin' like her mama
A little more every day
One part woman, the other part girl
“How are you doing daddy?” Liz asked quietly, coming up and wrapping an arm around him as he watched Nikki chatter and laugh with her friends, casting a furtive glance over at a group of boys, who were doing their best not to notice the girls, all here to celebrate Nikki’s sweet sixteenth birthday. Shifting uncomfortably as Kyle’s boy, Jimmy shot a look over at his baby, he scowled and turned away, fighting the instinct to stalk over and wrap a jacket over her strapless dress, shielding her from the boy’s far too interested eyes.
“Fine,” he grumbled, scratching at his brow as turned back to look at his Ladybug, her hair around her shoulders in soft, golden brown waves, her already large golden eyes looking even larger and wider due to some almost hidden make-up trick, reminding him far too much of her beautiful mother at that age. And it made him want to lock her up in her room until she was thirty. Turning away again when she failed to notice him, he felt an unexpected pang as he pulled away from Liz and kissed her softly on the mouth, murmuring as he walked away. “I’m going into the den.”
Retreating swiftly when she smiled at him sympathetically, he headed down the hall and swung into the den, sinking into his chair, brooding quietly; still having a hard time admitting that his baby wasn’t so much a baby anymore. Opening the drawer of the end table next to him, he pulled out a small, brightly wrapped box, his throat constricting as he realized that he hadn’t had a chance to give her the birthday present he’d bought. Staring at the blue paper and purple ribbons, he startled when he heard a soft knock at the door, his head shooting up and brows arching with surprise as Nikki walked in.
“This a private moment?” she asked, a soft smile lighting her features as she stood there in her pretty cerulean blue dress and little, sparkling blue heels, looking more like a young woman than the tomboy that had come careening into the house yesterday. Drawing a deep breath, he had to swallow the lump in his throat before he could speak, trying to smile at the beautiful woman-child standing before him and rasped quietly. “Not at all, Ladybug, but shouldn’t you be with your friends?”
“You didn’t think I’d forget, did you?” she smiled shyly, referring the quiet moment they usually took for her to unwrap his gift as she walked sedately into the room and sat on the chair opposite him, taking his hand in hers and sent him a chiding look when he shrugged and said, “I knew you were busy with your friends.”
“Never too busy for you,” she promised, her eyes sparkling as she crossed her legs and looked at him expectantly, her eyes latching curiously onto the pretty box in his hands and her brow winging very much like he would when she turned her gaze back to his. Smiling at her impatience, he handed the box to her, chuckling when she tore into it like a little girl. Opening the box, she grinned, a chuckle bubbling over her lips as she saw the charm bracelet with a lone ladybug charm attached, nestled on the white material, a film of tears coating her eyes as she pulled it out and held it out to him. “Put it on for me?”
“Of course,” he murmured, his voice thick with emotion as he leaned over and opened the delicate clasp and drew it around her wrist, latching the clasp once more before taking her hand, the both of them admiring the bracelet as he fought against the building ache in his heart and he stated. “Perfect.”
“Thank you,” she smiled, her own eyes sparkling with tears as she flew out of her chair and wrapped her arms around him, squeezing him tightly as he enveloped her in his, pressing his cheek to the top of her head. Pulling back when she heard her mother call for her, she hesitated, looking back at him in questioningly, nodding when he waved her off and looked down at bracelet with an exasperated grin, rolling her eyes when he said. “Just a reminder that…”
“I know, I know, I’ll always be your Ladybug,” she parroted as she leaned over and kissed him on the cheek, snorting when he kissed hers, whispering. “Don’t you forget it.”
To perfume and make up
From ribbons and curls
Trying her wings out in a great big world
But I remember
“Hey, want to ease up on my boy there?” Kyle snorted as he came up beside Michael, who was hovering in the background as Isabel, Ava, Maria and Liz cooed over their girls, and awed over the boys much to their embarrassment while they snapped pictures, the scene reminding him of their own senior prom. Turning to his friend, he scoffed, pinning the shorter man with a sardonic glance as he snorted. “Hell no midget, I remember all too well what a dog you were in high school and like father, like son.”
“You weren’t any better, Shaggy,” Kyle lobbed back, turning back to the group of teens, a nostalgic smile spreading over his face as he watched his son sigh and wrap his arms around Nikki, smiling for yet another barrage of pictures. Chuckling when his friend snorted at his observation, he grinned when the taller man retorted dryly.
“Not helping your case, Fred,” Michael smirked, turning back to the posing young couples, glaring fiercely when Jimmy looked over at him, chuckling under his breath when the blond boy swallowed noticeably and hastily turned away, prompting Liz to look over at him and frown, rolling her eyes when he grinned unrepentantly. Someone had to keep the boy in line since he was escorting his baby tonight.
“Fred?” Kyle queried faintly, getting the reference but confused as to how it applied to him, scowling when it clicked as Michael turned back to him with an evil grin, snarking before he walked away. “Short, dumb, self-important jock with a bad haircut? Ring any bells, short stack?”
Chuckling as Kyle scoffed behind him, he crossed the room, his eyes riveted on his ‘little’ girl, watching the animated way she joked with her friends and date, stealing little secret glances with Jimmy that made him frown before she turned, sensing his presence, her sunny smile just for him this time. His heart swelled and he couldn’t help but smile back as he studied her, her hair a shiny, wavy mass like her mother’s, little white flowers woven artfully at the crown and draped in a rich blue gown that touched the tops of her strappy, silver shoes that girls were fond of these days.
Rocking on his heels, he shoved his hands in pockets, patiently waiting for the last round of photos to end, well, as patiently as he was able, catching Liz’s eyes and silently telling her to wrap it up so he could steal Nikki away for a moment. She rolled her eyes, smiling at him and took the last few pictures, letting the kids break for snacks and conversation before they headed off to the dance. Grinning when Nikki disentangled herself from Jimmy, he watched her cross the room, nodding his approval as she came to a halt and did a little preening turn in front of him, her eyes sparkling with happiness as the glinted up at him.
“Beautiful, Ladybug,” He commented, pushing back a lock of hair that always seem to fall over her eyes, just like her mother, and stuck his hand in his pocket, grabbing out the item that he had slipped in his pocket earlier when she and Liz weren’t looking. Looking at her soberly, he took her hand, grinning when he noticed her charm bracelet prominently displayed on her wrist and placed it in her hand as he told her. “I have something for you.”
Looking down at her hand, her brow furrowed, she studied the little canister, bringing it up closer so she could read the small lettering on the front, her eyes rounding with disbelief, mouth gaping as she realized it was a can of pepper spray and she shot him an exasperated look as she cried, “Dad!”
“Just in case!” he whispered hastily, eyeing a nervously shifting Jimmy, his face unreadable as he studied the other boy, not really expecting her to need his ‘gift’, but not about to let her go off unprotected. Flicking his gaze back to his flushing, mortified girl, he took the canister and stuffed it into her little purse, that seemed impractical and completely pointless to him since it barely fit anything more than a tube of lipstick and other nonsense. “You never know.”
“I can’t believe you,” she groused, looking over at Jimmy furtively for a moment before turning back to him, shaking her head admonishingly and smiled when he just cocked a brow at her and grinned. Wrapping her arms around him, she hugged him, speaking softly as he wrapped her in his. “Does mom know?”
“Uh…no, and you know what would be great?” he gulped, looking over at his suspicious wife, smiling weakly when she arched a brow at him, her attention drawn when she heard her daughter’s incredulous squeal. “If you wouldn’t tell her. She would definitely kick my butt for this one.”
“Fine, on one condition,” she replied pulling back and pinning him with a chastising look so familiar, he swore he was staring at Liz for a moment. “Try to give Jimmy a chance.” Holding up her hand when he opened his mouth to comment, she looked at him pointedly. “You’ve known him all his life and know he wouldn’t do anything. So, please, just trust me when I say that he is a perfect gentleman and nothing will happen.”
“Okay, but if he does anything…” he threatened, touching her cheek softly, his worried eyes making her face soften and she nodded, smiling in acknowledgment, finishing his sentence for him. “I’ll let you know.” Rising on her tiptoes, she brushed her lips over his cheek, whispering against it. “I love you, daddy.”
“I love you too, Ladybug,” he responded, his heart aching as she walked away, greeting Jimmy with a smile that sent a funny jolt through his stomach, knowing it was the look he saw every day from his wife and knew in that instant that she had grown up while he hadn’t been looking, his little girl lost to him forever.
All the precious time
Like the wind the years go by
Precious butterfly
Spread your wings and fly
“You have everything you need?” he asked quietly as he came into her room, his heart panging as he took in all the closed up and labeled boxes, stacked and ready for storage as she hovered over her last open suitcase, the rest of them packed into her car along with the boxes carrying the mementos that she wanted to take with her to college. Smiling weakly when she looked up from placing the last of her clothing into the bag, her face lit up when she saw him as he sat on the bed and stared into her pretty face as if trying to remember every quirk and nuance of expression.
Looking away, he studied the pictures that still lined her wall, all those precious moments frozen in time, making this even harder on him. He knew that she wasn’t going to be gone forever and that she’d be back for the holidays, but this was just one more reminder that she was growing up and away from him. Blinking when his eyes stung, filming briefly with a sheen of tears, he swallowed thickly and pushed past the loss constricting his throat and turned back to her with a another smile, drawing a deep breath as he caught her watching him with concern.
“Need any help?” he offered, his voice strained with the emotions he was holding tightly in check, so she could leave without feeling guilty or worried for an old man that was having difficulty letting his baby girl go. Standing as she smiled in understanding, knowing all too well how much he was holding back for her benefit and she hugged him tightly, letting him just hold her for a long moment before she pulled away and closed her suitcase with a quiet snick, smiling weakly at him in turn.
“Help me carry it out?” she asked quietly, her eyes misting slightly as he ran a hand over her hair and then reached for her bag with a silent nod, sliding it off the bed and wrapped an arm around her as they left the room, heading out of the house to her waiting car, and her mamma, who stayed outside knowing they needed that little moment before she left. Loading her bag in the trunk, he closed it and stepped back, his eyes traveling over her, lips compressed to hold back his sadness as she and Liz embraced.
“Be careful,” he whispered as she stood before him, a tear trickling over her cheek, her bottom lip clenched between her teeth, her brow pinching, uncertainty and fear flaring in her eyes for the first time. Taking a deep breath, he yanked her in his arms, holding her tightly as tears trickled over her face, knowing that she was having second thoughts and that now he had to be the strong daddy, who told her all was going to well, even as his heart broke. Pulling back, he smiled at her, wiping the tears from her cheeks and took her hands. “Everything will be fine; you will be fine. We are so proud of you. Now go out there and knock them dead.”
“Okay,” she nodded, her voice catching slightly as she swiped at her cheeks and took a deep breath, her eyes meeting his and drawing strength from his calm, steady gaze, nodded decisively once more, throwing her arms around him, a watery laugh bubbling over her lips as he pressed a kiss to her cheek and whispered. “Love you, Ladybug.”
“Love you too, daddy,” she whispered back before drawing away and after kissing Liz on the cheek once more, she walked to her car and opened the door, turning back to flash him another watery smile before she slid into it, promptly starting the car before she could change her mind and pulling out onto the street with a wave of her hand.
Michael watched her car until he couldn’t see it any longer, blinking his eyes as the tears he’d been fighting back all day filled his eyes and he clenched them shut, swallowing thickly as his features pinched, heartache flashing through his body as Liz wrapped her arm around him, drawing him back toward the house as she whispered. “Come on daddy, I think it’s time for some ice cream and a few home movies, what do you think?”
“Sounds good to me,” he laughed weakly, brushing away the lone tear that had escaped and gripped her tightly as they headed up the walk towards their home, pressing a kiss to her temple, awed that she always knew exactly what he needed.
She'll change her name today
She'll make a promise
And I'll give her away
Standing in the bride room just staring at her
Staring at his now cold coffee, Michael startled when two arms slid around him quietly, wrapping around his waist tightly, the beautiful face of his wife popping around his back, peering at him from beneath his arm and he smiled, his heart warming at the sight of the woman who had spent almost thirty years with him. Pulling her around to his side, he pressed a soft kiss on her lips and sighed, wonder filling him that after all these years she still made his heart beat as if he’d just run a marathon.
“How are you holding up, daddy?” she asked softly, smiling up at him, knowing that he had been lost in thought and silently brooding over one more link he was losing to their daughter since she would be changing her name to Valenti that day. Rubbing her hand over his back soothingly, she rested her head on his chest, humming with pleasure when his fingers brushed over the back of her neck lightly, tracing back and forth as he sipped his coffee, grimacing at the chill it had taken during his musings.
“You should have let me zap him years ago,” he grumbled, setting the cold coffee aside with disgust, wrapping his other arm around her and frowning when she chuckled at his words, then smiled reluctantly as she shook her head at him, her eyes dancing with amusement. Running her hand through the hair at his temple, shorter than he’d worn it in high school and recently beginning to gray, he turned his head, pressing his lips to her palm before rubbing his cheek against the soft flesh. He’d lucked out with this woman.
“Wouldn’t have done any good,” she laughed, shooting him a knowing glance, her lips curling softly, having seen the same looks passing between Nikki and Jim over the years, knowing it had only been a matter of time before they took this step. Chuckling when her husband only grunted at her observation, she kissed him softly, relishing the way his lips melted against hers even after years as lovers and friends, fixing him with sly glance as she pulled back and smirked. “And you would have had to deal with Nikki.”
“True,” he nodded consideringly, feigning a small shudder as he looked over her shoulder thoughtfully, his lips pursing as he recalled his daughters temper and stubborn disposition, garnering another laugh from the woman in his arms. Tipping his head, he rested his brow against hers, rubbing his nose against hers affectionately, dark whiskey eyes sparkling devilishly and a wicked smile slid over his mouth as he quipped. “But it would have made me feel better.”
“Come on, suck it up, daddy,” she commented dryly, reluctantly pulling out of his arms as she knew there was still a lot to do that morning and grabbed his hand, tugging him along into the house, shaking her head at his feigned frown. Rolling her eyes, she headed up the stairs to their waiting daughter, who had stayed with them the night before since she wanted to observe the tradition of the groom not seeing the bride until the wedding on her wedding day, him following quietly. “We have a wedding to put on.”
“I can’t believe I’m going to be related to the midget,” he groused, climbing the stairs reluctantly, a smile flitting over his face as he heard a bubble of girlish laughter traveling down the hall, making him realize just how much he had missed that sound during the years that she had spent at college. A sound that would be gone again at the end of the day, making him frown once more, his heart aching at the silence that would fill his house. He didn’t understand people who couldn’t wait to get rid of their kids; he’d love to keep them home forever if he could. “Wasn’t it bad enough that he’s linked to my pseudo sister? Now they steal my daughter?”
“They are not stealing Nikki away,” Liz laughed, turning back to him, crossing her arms over her chest as he came up onto the landing, her bright chocolate eyes flicking over him with exasperation as he walked up and winged her brow at his petulant tone, reminding him gently as she turned away. “We’re gaining a son.”
“Whatever,” he called as she moved away, hurrying down the hall to the group of gossiping and giggling females in a small blue and green room, done in a celestial theme, his pretty baby surrounded by her sisters, cousins and friends as she readied herself for the ceremony that would take her away from him. “See if you say that after Isabel goes all holiday Nazi on our house now that she’s really family.”
“Never stopped her before either,” Liz called back, dismissing his comments with a flick of her hand as she entered the bridal domain, leaving him to stand there with a sad smile, wondering how he was going to make it through the day without making a fool of himself.
She asked me what I'm thinkin'
And I said I'm not sure
I just feel like I'm losin' my baby girl
And she leaned over
Tugging at the collar of his tuxedo, he looked down at the clothing that this event forced upon him, and that Liz said he absolutely had to wear whether he liked it or not, and grimaced, hating the necessity of wearing formal clothing, always feeling far more comfortable in his jeans and t-shirts or button-down shirts. But it was for Nikki, so he sucked it up and grit his teeth, knowing that it would bring that sweet, ‘Liz’ smile over her lips and that special gleam to her caramel eyes. She’d had him so wrapped around her tiny finger from the day she was born; beyond that really, going back to when he first connected to her in her mamma’s womb and she all but vibrated under his touch.
Leaving his room, he shoved his hands into his pockets and sauntered to the bridal suite, the giggles and voices gone except for two that were the center of his life, and he leaned against the doorframe, quietly observing his Ladybug, sitting in her slip as Liz put the finishing touches to her hair, tucking white flowers among the glossy curls at her crown. Smiling when she looked up and smiled radiantly, her eyes radiating that perfect joy that came with such moments, he entered the room and came to a standstill in front of her, taking in the bright flush of wonder staining her cheeks.
Touching her cheek gently, he held back a sigh as Liz moved away, reaching over for more of the starry flowers for her hair, smiling at the two of them as she went back to pinning the decorations as he crouched at her feet and met her shining eyes, licking his lips and swallowing thickly as words failed him. She reminded him so much of her mamma and he had to chuckle when he recalled how he once thought this girl would be the most like him given that every day she took on more and more Liz qualities. No wonder she had such a special place in his heart.
“What are you thinking?” she asked quietly, her dark eyes dancing over his face curiously, her mouth pursed thoughtfully, breaking the silence between them and cocked her head, noting the sad smile on his face as she took his hand.
“That you look just like your mother,” he replied with smile, chuckling when she scrunched her nose at him, but her lips tilted into a pleased smile at his observation nonetheless as she looked over her shoulder at her mother. Liz just smiled contentedly at them both before meeting his eyes, the sparkle in her eyes reminding him of when they had said their own vows all those years ago. Turning back to his daughter, his breath caught when he noticed her toying with something in her hands.
“Put it on for me?” she asked quietly, her eyes misting as she held out the charm bracelet that he had bought her almost ten years ago and she smiled when he took it out of her hands, his fingers tracing the tiny ladybug on the chain that had gotten several other charms over the years. Nodding quietly, his throat clenched as he undid the clasp, wrapping the bracelet around her outstretched wrist and reset the catch, holding her hand for a moment as he stared at the bauble, trying to get his emotions under control.
“Perfect,” he whispered hoarsely, looking up and meeting her eyes, his lips curling into a shaky smile as her own eyes misted over, each of them remembering that sweet sixteenth birthday as if it were yesterday. Brow creasing slightly, his smile slipped a notch, his eyes averting as he tried to find the words to express himself, something that had always been difficult for him, despite improving over the years, his eyes darkening as he turned back to her and confessed. “I’m going to miss having you around.”
“I’ll still be here,” she replied, her lips curving in a soft smile, leaning over and rubbing her nose against his as she used to as a child, her lashes fluttering over his cheek softly, bringing a sweet ache to his chest as she gave him butterfly kisses for the first time in years and taking a deep breath, he cupped her cheeks, pressing his lips to her brow before he stood, walking to the door swiftly to let her finish dressing.
Gave me butterfly kisses with her mama there
Stickin' little white flowers all up in her hair
Walk me down the aisle daddy, it's just about time
Does my wedding gown look pretty daddy?
Daddy don't cry
He waited at the chapel door, pacing restlessly, both impatient to get this over with and dreading it at the same time, knowing that he was giving her into the care of another man today, albeit he couldn’t have chosen a better one for his daughter. Jim had grown into a fine man and for all his grousing earlier, he knew that the boy would, and already had been taking great care of Nikki, but he’d prefer to keep her tucked safely away from the hard, harsh, changing world himself.
Looking up as he heard a rustle to his right, his impatient frown frozen before it really had a chance to begin as she stepped into the hall, her white satin and lace gown swaying around her as she walked up to him with a shy, hesitant smile, giving a little twirl to show her dress off, the slightest hint of nerves reflected in her eyes. Smiling reassuringly at her, he held out his hand, chuckling when she all but skipped over to him, preening like a blushing teenager, rocking back and forth to set her bell-like skirt swishing gently.
“Beautiful,” he declared firmly, his heart swelling with love and pride for this grown-up woman standing before him, who still retained hints of the little girl he had raised. Lining up at the end of the processional, he held his arm out to her, smiling down into her face as she wrapped her hand into the crook of his elbow, her giddiness catching and he adjusted her veil slightly as they watched her attendants head down the aisle, the doors closing for her grand entrance and giving them one last moment alone. “Ready?”
“I was going to ask you the same question,” she laughed, her bright brown eyes dancing with excitement as they stared at each other for a moment before she nodded her head emphatically and he turned to the ushers, nodding his head quietly, taking a deep breath as the doors opened and they stepped onto the royal blue runner. He wasn’t ready for this, but he did it anyway because it made her happy. Escorting her down the aisle, the faces of family and friends were a blur through the haze of tears that seemed to appear as soon as he realized this was the last time she’d be his baby girl.
The walk came to an end much too quickly and he walked up to his soon to be son-in-law, then turned to his Ladybug, lifting her veil to reveal eyes sparkling with happy tears and smiled, kissing her cheek softly, giving a choked laugh when she reciprocated with a light flutter of lashes against his cheek. Turning back to Jim, he handed her off to him, his heart swelling with a bittersweet ache as he met Jim’s steady, calm dark-brown gaze and shook the shorter man’s hand. “Welcome to the family, son.”
Looking at his daughter once more, his heart panged when he noted that her eyes were already trained on the other man, Jim’s eyes for only her as well and he turned, walking away from the bright, shiny couple, joining Liz in their family pew, fighting back the well of emotion clogging his throat. Taking her in his arms, he smiled painfully, his eyes turning to the front as the ceremony began and she leaned over, whispering in his ear. “You know daddy, it’s okay, real men aren’t afraid to cry.”
Laughing at her irreverent comment, he pulled her into his side and dipped his head, pressing a kiss against her impertinent lips, a smile spreading over his as she returned his kiss with equal love and affection, loving that she knew just how to handle him.
Oh with all that I've done wrong
I must have done something right
To deserve her love every mornin'
And butterfly kisses
Sighing wearily, he waited near the getaway car watching as Nikki and Jim talked to some guests as they walked onto the porch, all of them laughing as the older couple teased the newlyweds as married couples were wont to do, Nikki flushing a delicate pink when the woman leaned over and whispered in her ear. Exchanging an amused glance with Jim, she turned back to the woman and whispered something with a wicked grin, making the couple laugh and her new husband to blush.
The ceremony had gone off without a hitch and had been both beautiful and extremely emotional for them all, however it was his wife that had broken down in tears despite her earlier teasing of him. He had come close himself and was man enough to admit that he had to wipe away a trace of moisture as Nikki and Jim made their vows to one another, shocked to learn that she had used the same vows that he and her mother had made, Liz grinning at him when he looked at her in surprise and she whispered that Nikki had wanted it to be a surprise.
The rest of the evening had been a whirlwind, not really having a chance to talk with her outside the traditional father-daughter dance, and even that was difficult because they were on display, doing the one thing he hated almost more than he hated pointless small talk, cameras flashing all around him. She gave him a commiserating smile, mouthing an apology as the photographer danced around them with his obscenely large camera and he shook his head and kissed her cheek, earning a happy coo and snick from the annoying man and he barely quelled the urge to roll his eyes.
And now it was time for her to leave, running off to that tropical getaway with the new man in her life and he was left with that empty, melancholy feeling that had been plaguing him off and on all day, filling his chest with a tight, painful ache. Startling when she cleared her throat loud and pointedly, bringing his gaze to her shining face and he smiled as she threw herself into his arms, squeezing him silently, words not really necessary between them as her soft, rosy aura washed over him in comfort.
Pulling away, she took his hand, pressing something into it before she turned and climbed into the car behind Jim, nodding to his palm, indicating he should open the small box. Cocking his brow in confusion, he looked down at the box, presuming it was some sort of thank you gift from the both of them as tradition dictated, his heart swelling with that same sweet ache when he spied a small, jeweled ladybug tie tack nestled on the white material. Picking it up between his fingers, he choked back the sob that was threatening to spill over his lips as he walked over to her leaning out the window with a smile.
“Put it on for me?” he asked hoarsely, his eyes stinging from the tears that he was determined not to shed in front of her and swallowed several times to dislodge the lump that had grown in his throat as she took the pin and fixed it to his tie, patting it in place as she smiled through her own veil of tears as she said. “Just a reminder that…”
“You’ll always be my Ladybug,” he recited, his lips quivering as he leaned over and pressed his cheek to hers, laughing when she teased, “And don’t you forget it.” Nodding his head, he pulled away and stepped back, watching as the limo carried her away to her new life content that he really wasn’t losing her fully.
I couldn't ask God for more than this is what love is
I know I've got to let her go but I'll always remember
Every hug in the mornin' and butterfly kisses
Two years later…
He walked into a blue and green celestial-themed room, hovering over the white baby crib with a yawn, wondering how on Earth he and Liz had done this five times; he was exhausted after just one day with his month-old granddaughter, but he knew that her mamma needed the rest more than he did being a new mother. Lowering the side to the crib, he bent and slid his arms under her back and head, lifting her from the mattress gently and set her against his shoulder, humming to quietly shush her as he padded out to the kitchen to grab a bottle.
Heating the formula with a quick surge of his powers, he tested it quickly before cradling the newborn in the crook of his arm, placing the bottle to her lips and chuckled when she latched onto it greedily. His princess was so not a princess when it came to eating, just like someone else he remembered. Padding back into her room, he sat in the rocking chair Liz had bought each of the girls to match the one that still sat in their den, so they too could rock their children to sleep.
Staring down into her face, his heart swelled with love and a warm wash of wonder as her little hand latched onto his as he held her bottle, a quick little connection forged between them as she guzzled down her milk, her energy washing over him, bringing a sense of trust and love with it, making his throat choke with emotion as their energies mingled and entwined, bringing an overwhelming sense of joy and awe with it.
Pulling the bottle away, he transferred her to his shoulder and patted out the bubbles as he rocked her gently, humming under his breath as her aura touched his again, the faintest tickling sensation that made him chuckle again at the touch. He could never get used to this bond no matter how many times it forged between him and, first his children, then his grandchildren.
A sense of peace and contentment wrapped around him as he sat there trying to figure out what he’d done to deserve this life, but he wasn’t going to question this tiny miracle in his arms. He had no doubt that she was going to be just like her mamma, the perfect blend between his Nikki and her father Jim. Cradling her in his arms gently after she had burped, he stood, walking down the hall to search out his Ladybug, who had undoubtedly awoke, knowing that her daughter was awake through their connection, whispering to his granddaughter quietly. “What do you say we go find your mamma, Miss Michaela?”
