What you see is not always what you get. M/L YTEEN Complete

[bel_1983]

Author: bel_1983
Title: What you see is not always what you get (One last time, to last forever.)
Rating:YTEEN M/L
Disclaimer: I don't own Roswell or the characters. I'm just borrowing them for a bit!!!

AN: Yeah, yeah I know another one. But this is only a one parter. This idea just came from no where and just seemed to write itself. I hope you all give it a chance and let me know what you think. For some reason i'm actually pretty proud of this piece, so i hope you all leave your thoughts.

This is souly a Max and Liz fic.



What you see is not Always what you get


I’m tired.

I’m tired of running. I’m tired of searching for something that I may never find. I’m tired of the constant stares of pity. I’m tired of how the minutes pass over like hours. I’m tired of how the days pass over like years. I’m tired of being poked. I’m tired of being prodded. I’m tired of pretending to be something I’m not. I’m tired of being outside_ I want to be in. I’m tired of the dreams that continue to mar my sleep_ Dreams of what might have been. I’m tired of feeling like second best. I’m tired of being judged. I’m tired of being inside_ I want to be out. I’m tired of worrying. I’m tired of wondering. I’m tired of the looks. I’m tired of the stares. I’m tired of the food that won’t stay down. I’m tired of forcing of it down. I’m tired of waiting_ Haven’t I waited long enough? I’m tired of suffering_ Haven’t I suffered for long enough? I’m tired of waiting to be saved. I’m tired of the pain of loving. I’m tired of the pain of not being loved.

I’ve waited. Now I’m tired, and all I want to do is sleep...


*********************************


three years previously


She woke up with his scent on her pillow. The musky scent that was his and his alone. She woke up to the sun shining brightly through her window. She always hated that when the sun rose, she would rise with it. But today it’s different. Today she doesn't mind, because he is there.


She stretched her arms and her legs. Muscles aching that haven’t ached for a very long time. She fought off the sleep that still threatened to overcome her. She wouldn’t go back to sleep this morning. At least not yet; not whilst he was here.


He lie next to her_ still_ peaceful. She ran her fingers though his dark locks. A flash overcoming her of him doing that very same gesture the previous night. She runs her hand over his brow, over his eyes, over his nose, over his lips. Mimicking the path her own lips had travelled the previous night.


He stirred. She stopped. He slept.


She ran her delicate finger over the finely toned muscles of his arms, Her favourite part of his body. Arms that would hold her, support her. Strong arms that lead to talented hands. Hands that fit so perfectly with her own. Hands that knew every inch of her body.


He stirred. She stopped. He slept.


She continued to run her fingers over his smooth muscular chest. Not a wisp of hair, that was how she liked it. Pausing to run the padding of her thumb over his pink nipples. They immediately stiffened.


He stirred. She stopped. He slept.
Even in his sleep he responded to her.


She was taken back to the previous night as he hands continued their journey down. Down to his belly button, right where her tongue has been the night before. Down further to that part that made him different to her. There were so many things that made him different to her. This, however, was normal. Down to the part that in one instance can give so much pain, and in the next, so much pleasure. Last night it had stood tall and proud, now was no different. She wanted to touch. She wanted to feel. But she didn’t.


He stirred. She stopped. He slept.


She continued to stare at him. Memorising every outline, every muscle, every scar. She wrapped her arms around him.


He stirred...she closed her eyes...and they both slept...


In a couple of hours she would awaken again. Not to the sunlight, for there would be none. She would awake to the crashing of thunder, and the cool breeze that was sweeping through her opened window. His scent lingered on her pillow. The musky scent that was his and his alone.


His scent lingered. But his body did not.


She was alone. The previous night, but a memory...the taste of his mouth still on her lips. The feel of his skin, still on her hands...haunting...reminding...


Reminding her of what she had for that one night, last night. And that other night, so many years ago, which still plagued her soul. That one night that should not have been hers. And that one morning_ this morning_ that should have been theirs.


He had made her forget. If only for a short time, but still...he made her forget. Forget all that happened between now and then. Forget the loneliness that had plagued them both in the past. That would plague them both in the future. He made her forget the loneliness that was yet to even come.


It was not their first time together. Not for her anyway. She had shared another part of him a long time ago_ another him. He shared himself with her, and her alone. It was their moment. It was their time. And no matter what happened they both knew it would last forever. It was their first real defining moment together. But in all probability it would also be their last.


He had left her there alone, in the stillness of the morning. When he awoke the sun head been shining. Usually that bothered him, but not this morning. Because she was beside him. She was all he had ever wanted, and all he could never have. Until last night.


He was awake. She was asleep. He had traced every imprint of her body, storing it to his memory. Knowing that he would never truly forget. He had watched her sleep.


He was awake. She was asleep.


He watched her chest as it rose and fell. He would reach over and feel her heart beating. It would be beating in time with his. One hand on her heart. The other hand on his. He wished so much it could always be this way. She was alive and that was all that mattered to him.


He left so she could stay that way. Alive. He didn’t know it wouldn’t make a difference. He didn’t know that her path was already set.


He didn’t know about the child he had left behind in the safety of her womb.


In one night all their dreams would come true. In one morning, they would slowly slip away.


He had to go. He didn’t want to. He had to. He was needed on a planet far away. She always thought he would come back. He always told her he would come back. So she would wait...because she loved him.


She was asleep when he left her. She was asleep when he returned to her, but four years would pass in between.


She woke up alone that morning. But she wasn’t_ she felt the changes. She knew of the gift he had left inside of her. She always wondered if he had known, would he have stayed with her? And if he had stayed, would things have turned out differently? Or would they have all have ended up in the exactly the same position? They can never know. What is done is done, and there is no going back. It didn't metter anyway. She knew what she had to know.


She often thought about how things might have been. She could never know. She was forced to run. She was forced to hide. Seven months after waking up alone in her bed, to the musky scent that was his and his alone, she gave birth. One month after giving birth, she was forced to leave the one reminder of that night behind. She was forced to part with her life force. It killed her inside. For the second time in a year, another part of her heart broke.


She had always fought for what she believed in though. And she believed in him. She believed in their child.


And when not long after leaving Roswell, leaving her life force, she was captured and taken to a far away planet, she would continue to fight. She would continue to believe. She always, always, believed he would come for her.


********************************


I’m tired. I’m tired of running, but I ran for as long as I could. I’m tired of searching for something that I may never find_ but I found it once and I will find it again. I’m tired of the constant stares of pity. They know who I am, and they pity my fate. I’m tired of how the minutes pass over like hours, and the days pass over like years. Because each second longer, is a second longer I am away from my love_ my life. I’m tired of being poked. I’m tired of being prodded. But I don’t give up. I realise this is what it must have been like for him all those years ago. I’m tired of pretending to be something I’m not. I’m not a queen. I’m just a girl.


I’m tired of being outside_ I want to be in. I’m tired of the dreams that mar my sleep_ dreams of what might have been. But it is these dreams that keep me believing. I’m tired of feeling like second best. He went with her the first time. He came back only when he found out it was a lie. I’m tired of thinking like that.


I’m tired of being judged. She mind warped him into believing they created a child together. He didn’t sleep with anyone but me. But I did. What you see is not always what you get. I’m tired of being inside_ I want to be out. Four walls are my only companion. I wonder if here the sun shine, or the clouds rain. Either way they both remind me of that morning.


I’m tired of worrying. I wonder if he’s ok. I’m tired of wondering_ will he ever find me? I’m tired of the looks_ of the stares_ this time it is me who is different. I’m tired of the food that won’t stay down_ foreign food, spicy food. I’m tired of forcing it down_ to stay alive, to stay strong. I’m tired of waiting...it has been years, I think. Will they ever come for me? I’m tired of suffering_ Haven’t I suffered enough? But I will suffer all I have to, if it means he will come for me in the end. I’m tired of wanting to be saved...I need to be saved.


I’m tired of the pain of loving. But that’s the pain that lets me know I am still alive. I’m tired of the pain of not being loved. I need to feel his arms around me. I live to feel his arms around me.


I’ve waited. Now I’m tired and all I want to do is sleep...But I know I wont sleep. Not until it’s over. Not until he comes for me. I know he will.


Along time ago he told me he would always come for me. I know nothing will keep him away. I know he is here somewhere. Fighting for me_ for us_ for an us he doesn’t even know exists. And I know he will fight for as long as it takes. He will find me, or die trying. And he won’t die, because he’s a king.


And Kings never truly die.


***********************************


His shoulder hurts, but he keeps on going. A bullet hits his leg, but he keeps on running. Kings aren't supposed to fight in the front line, but this one does. Because he is fighting for a cause. A part of him died when he left her that morning. She was sleeping_ so soundly, so peacefully. The sun was shining brightly through the closed window when he woke up. He didn’t want to leave her. Not like this. But he knew he had to. He studied her one last time. As he moved from the bed_ from his place beside her_ he leaned over and kissed her softly on the lips_ one last time_ One last time, to last forever.


***********************************


He walked away that morning, never glancing back. He knew if he chanced a glance, he wouldn’t be able to go. He knew he had to go. He would open her window and climb out, not closing it behind him. He was making his way home, when it started to rain. The weather mirroring his mood. His tears meshing with those of the clouds in the sky. The sky was crying. He was crying. He wondered if she was crying.


He went home. One last time. It was the only home he knew. He would come to know another, but it would never be his home. It would be his nightmare. But it was ok, because he knew she was safe. When he left that very same morning, the sky rumbled.


It would rain in Roswell for six straight days after that. She would join the clouds in their weeping. The sun truly wouldn’t shine until a couple of months later. When a baby kicked inside it’s mothers womb, and a mother smiled. The sky smiled with her. There was hope after all.


*************************************

He continued on. The terrain was soft and muddy. He fell over. He got back up. Again and again. This was the final battel. This was his final battle. He knew when she was captured and brought to his planet, because for the first time in months, he could feel her. It would have been selfish of him to be glad about that_ so he wasn’t. He was scared for her. No one knew where she was. No one knew who had captured her. No one knew what they wanted with her. No one knew she had beared the heir to his throne. No one knew, not even her, that this child was special. That he would be the one to bring forth peace for all the ages. He would unite two planets, and in the end he would re-unite the only thing that ever truly mattered to such a young boy. He would re-unite his mummy and daddy.


He didn’t know any of these things, but he continued on anyway. For his love for her was that strong_ was that eternal. He was hurting. The pain was almost too much. But he knew he was getting closer. He could feel her getting closer. So he continued. Running, falling, killing. Running, falling, killing. There were men falling around him, but maybe selfishly, his thought were not with them. His thoughts were with her.


Is it wrong to love someone so much...so [i[completely[/i]...


*****************************************


She hears word. He is coming for her. She has lost track of time. The days and years have blended, but nothing matters anymore. He is coming. Soldiers enter. She is curled up in a corner. They have a job to do. She must die. Slowly...painfully. But she must die. With each kick to her ribs, she sees him running through muddy terrain. Running, falling, killing. She knows he is doing it for her. It has always been for her. With each blow to her body, she sees a little boy.


Mum, take care of him. Pass him off as your own, until the day we return. It for his safety. I just have two things to ask of you...let him know who his parents are, and name him Noah Maxwell Evans...

Noah?

He is special mum. Along time again another Noah saved civilisation. This Noah saved me.


A little boy with dark hair and grey eyes. The spitting image of both of his parents. He calls out to his mummy...


Mummy. It’s ok mummy. Daddy is coming for you. I won’t let them hurt you.


She feels power. His power. They continue to kick. They continue to punch. But there is a shield surrounding her now, that they can’t get through. It is encompassing her in a bright light. She feels warmth. For the first time in a long time, she feels safe.


She doesn’t know how it is happening. But it doesn’t matter.


He’s nearly there mummy. I love you.

Noah? How?

You don’t have to understand mummy. I don’t, but it’s ok.

I love you Noah.

I know mummy. I have always known.


*************************************


“Liz...Liz, God are you okay?”


“Max? Max is it really you? Are you really here?”


She reaches out to touch him after all these years. Flash after flash bombards her of one night a long time ago. She realises it is him. She realises he is real.


“God Liz what did they do to you? I was so scared. It was raining outside and I had to get to you. I kept on running and falling...”


running, falling, killing


“running falling and killing?”


“What Liz, how did you know.”


“It was him Max...it was Noah. He must have dream walked me. He connected us.”


“Noah?”


“Your son Max...Our son...”


“Liz...”


“It doesn’t matter any more Max. You’re here...we’re here...and now we can go back home to our son...finally...”


*********************************


And so they survived. That one night all those years ago, would not be their last night. It would be the first of many. Liz Parker saw the future all those years ago. She saw the love of her life leaving. She saw her son...their son...she saw her capture, and that what was where things changed.


She saw it all before it happened. She knew some things you have to let happen, but other’s you have to prevent. She knew she could not let her son get captured like she had seen. Had not she not ran like she did. Had she not risked everything. Had she not been selfless and selfish at the same time in leaving her son behind. Noah would have died. The rest would have played out the same except for the ending. Noah connected them, when they both needed each other. He saved them. Had he not been there, this would not be a tale worth telling...


Because there would be no one to tell it too...


What you see is not Always what you get


THE END


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