Somewhere in Between (UC, Mx/Ma,TEEN, 1/1) [COMPLETE]

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Applebylicious
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Somewhere in Between (UC, Mx/Ma,TEEN, 1/1) [COMPLETE]

Post by Applebylicious »

Title: Somewhere In Between
Author: Lindsay
Rating: TEEN
Disclaimer: Do. Not. Own.
Summary: One shot, one kill. Max POV on events after Destiny
Author's Notes: I know some of you might be staring at this in complete bafflement. Honestly, I never thought I’d find myself writing a story like this, but circumstances being what they are…I consider it a bit of catharsis. Thanks go out to all my friends who understand and accept what it is I’m trying to do, and a special thanks to Karen (Midwest Max) for acting as sounding board and beta. You’re an inspiration. Lyrics are from "Somewhere in Between" by Lifehouse. Banner by the talented Stargazing101.


Image


I can’t be losing sleep over this, no I can’t
And now I can not stop pacing
Give me a few hours, I’ll have all this sorted out
If my mind would just stop racing

Cause I cannot stand still
I can’t be this unsturdy
This cannot be happening

This is over my head but underneath my feet
Cuz by tomorrow morning I’ll have this thing beat
And everything will be back to the way that it was
I wish that it was just that easy

Cuz I’m waiting for tonight
Then waiting for tomorrow
And I’m somewhere in between
What is real, and just a dream




I watch her as she cleans tables, knowing she won’t look up and catch me. She seems so oblivious to everything that surrounds her, yet I know from personal experience that behind that flaky persona is a shrewd and capable mind. It took me quite awhile to realize that, but then, Maria DeLuca and her mind were never really one of my priorities. Funny how things can change, and in such a short period of time.

The scene is disturbingly familiar; my fingers clenched around the edge of a worn menu, my eyes following a pair of floppy antennae around the room as my heart pounds a slow cadence in my chest. And the entire time I wish she’d glance over at me, flash me a smile. It wouldn’t be shy or soft, but big and filled with unholy humor. But that’s the way she is. I’ve only recently learned to appreciate that, as well.

The clock creeps towards four o’clock and my anticipation steadily grows thicker as she takes the order of a pair of white-haired women, her voice reaching me over the din of afternoon gossip and Stone Temple Pilots on the radio.

“Will there be anything else I can get for you?”

She sounds polite enough, but she can never quite pull it off the same way Liz could. She can’t quite stand still, tapping a foot impatiently as she pops a mouthful of gum between her teeth. There’s always a hint of excitement thrumming beneath Maria DeLuca’s skin, a sense that no matter where she is, she’d rather be off somewhere else doing anything else. Used to be that fact alone that made me take a step away from her, afraid if I stepped too close she might simply…explode. Now I find myself craving that enthusiasm about anything.

She’s never pitied me. Maybe that’s the source of my growing fascination with her, the fact that no matter what’s happened over the past few months, she’s never looked at me the way the others have. Like I could shatter if you made a sudden move. Maybe that’s why I find her to be the only person I can confide in anymore. That, and we’ve both had our hearts broken.

True, the subject of her heartbreak remains in Roswell, not fifteen feet away as he throws beef patties on a grill with a scowl plastered across his features, whereas mine left me at the first available opportunity she could find. I can’t stop the wave of bitterness and resentment that floods over me, and in truth I no longer want to try.

As if she can hear my thoughts, she finally looks my way and raises a brow. I can practically read her mind. Girlfriend, you’re just too predictable.

Girlfriend, for God’s sake. Every masculine inch of me should be appalled, yet I can only crack a smile as she rolls her eyes at the clock and shakes her head in exasperation. She makes her way over to me, shoving a small order pad into the front of her uniform before sliding across from me in the booth.

“I don’t guess you’re here for the Trekky Special,” she drawls sweetly, slipping off her antennae headband and folding her hands together as she eyes me.

I spread my palms out innocently, lifting my shoulders in a light shrug. “You know me too well.” And it’s the truth. One I never expected to utter, and yet nothing else has seemed so right as of late.

She watches me a moment longer, then sighs and flops back into the booth. “Max, you can’t keep doing this. Coming in here everyday, asking for updates on Liz like a dog begging for scraps. It’s just not cute.”

I raise a brow, knowing I should feel offended and wondering why all I feel is amusement. She’s so protective of her friends, and I’m lucky enough to be considered a good one. “I thought puppies were supposed to be cute.”

“They—” she stops, shaking her head on another drawn-out sigh. “You’re hopeless, Charlie Brown. Completely hopeless.”

“Have you heard from her?” I ask the question, not only because I want to know, but because it’s what’s expected of me. All anyone expects is for me to be pining because Liz Parker suddenly decided life with an alien was just too much to handle and took off for sunny Florida. And I did pine, at first. Knowing she couldn’t, or wouldn’t fight for what we had…it’s still enough to break my heart. But there’s anger now, as well. Anger that she would tell me she loved me, then run away from me not hours later. Leaving me alone when I needed her the most.

I realize my fists are clenched, my knuckles white across the top, and glance up to see Maria eyeing me without expression. I force myself to relax, even as my pulse is racing with emotion. “Well?”

A minute later she finally confesses. “Yes, I heard from Liz, Max.”

I stare at her expectantly. “Did she say when she planned on coming back?” I ask in a polite tone.

“I can’t tell you that,” she answers softly, and her hand closes over mine. I can’t begin to explain the jolt that courses through me the moment her skin brushes mine. My eyes lock on hers, wide and filled with question. Did she feel it, too? Could she even understand what it means?

She continues as if nothing had happened. “Max…Liz is, she’s dealing the only way she knows how. With everything that’s happened, what with Tess and you all finding the message from your mother…she feels like you need time away from her to make some decisions.”

“Bullshit,” I manage thickly, squeezing her fingers before carefully releasing them. I sit back, as far as I can. “You know that’s bullshit, Maria. When,” I have to stop because I can hear the resentment making my voice shake. “When have I ever asked her for time? When have I ever made anything other than the fact that I wanted her with me abundantly clear? She walked away. She left.”

My voice is rising, but I can do no more to stop it than I can bring Liz back. She stares back at me coolly, but concern shines behind those vivid green eyes. “Maybe we should take this in the back.”

“Yeah, let’s do that,” I mutter, standing and shoving my hands inside my pockets as I stalk past several gaping customers. I can feel Michael’s eyes on me, but I ignore him as I push the doors to the back of the CrashDown open.

Maria enters behind. “Max, calm down okay? I figured it was only a matter of time before you finally lost it, but I really wasn’t expecting—”

“You weren’t expecting it to be this bad?” I finish for her. “You weren’t expecting shy, behind the tree Max Evans to actually show his feelings about anything? Apparently you aren’t the only one, you know. If I’d shown Liz she mattered, maybe she wouldn’t have gone to goddamn Florida.”

“Oh shut up!” Maria snaps, surprising me by the vehemence behind her command. “Max, Liz is my best friend and I love her. But I think what she’s doing right now is terrible. It’s terrible, and she’s wrong, okay? The way she’s treating you…” her voice catches and she tosses a glance towards the kitchen, “it’s just awful, Max. And unfair.”

I don’t know how to respond, but as I stare at her I begin to feel things I know I shouldn’t be feeling. Dangerous things, things that would have never entered my mind if Liz were there to distract me. At least, that’s what I tell myself. I have to, otherwise I’m just as guilty as Liz accused me of being the night I kissed Tess and told her it meant nothing. Only this has nothing to do with Tess, and everything to do with the green-eyed girl standing before me. Does that make it better or worse?

Deep down I know I’ve been heading this way for quite awhile; since Liz left and Maria became my only confidant, since I came to understand her and respect everything about her. It’s only natural to become…attracted. Because that’s what I am. I’m terribly attracted to someone, and this time she’s not the girl I’ve spent my life being in love with, and she’s not a child bride programmed only for me.

I’m shaking, staring at her and wondering what it would be like to taste those lips shiny with the gloss I see her applying every fifteen seconds. God, what’s happening to me? I love Liz, even as angry and hurt as she’s made me, I still love her. But I want Maria. And part of me has conceded that I love her, as well. I love how she challenges me, how she never expects anything from me. She’s never looked at me and seen a miracle worker.

“Max? Are you all right?”

Her worried tone breaks me out of my daze and I swallow thickly, turning away and shoving a hand through my hair as I struggle for an answer. But the truth is, there is no answer. Because there’s really no question. I love Liz, and Maria loves Michael. One day he’ll wake up and realize what he’s missing, and that will be the end of that. What I feel isn’t important, not when speaking of it would ruin more than it would solve.

“I’m fine,” I manage a smile as I turn back to her. She doesn’t believe me, I know, but she nods anyway. That’s Maria. She’ll wait and attempt to pry it out of me at a later time when she thinks I’m more susceptible. And God help us both if she succeeds.

She walks towards me and I keep my eyes on her the entire time, my body stiff and held in check as she sighs and lays a hand against my cheek. “She’ll be back, Max. A girl could never give up when a man looks at her the way you do.” And then, she presses her lips against mine in a friendly kiss. She begins to pull back, the moment already over for her. But I know the memory of those lips will haunt me.

As she walks away, I hear the door behind me open. I turn around to find myself staring into deep brown eyes, eyes filled with apology and fear as I gaze at Liz in something akin to astonishment.

“Hello, Max,” she whispers.

Her scent mingles with the fading scent of Maria and I glance from the love of my life towards the door where a part of me, a part I’d never thought to find, just disappeared. And I’m somewhere in between.

What is real and just a dream?
Last edited by Applebylicious on Thu Mar 17, 2005 11:14 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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