Finally! I'm sorry this took so long and I won't bore you with how busy I've been. Thanks to all of you who commented and bumped. And speaking of thanks, I want to say that I was surprised and happy and humbled and happy to see my name on the Fanfic Nomination board.
Chipsflickan
FrenchKiss
Solaris
IamALongTimeFan
LizParkerEvans
Realistic Dreamer
You guys are so awesome and I can't believe out of all the great fics on this board that you chose mine. Thanks so so so so much.
Now, on with the show. Let me know what you think.
Everything to You Part 52
Max and Liz pulled up to the Evan’s house and exited the car, waiting while Michael and Maria did the same. Max glanced at Liz, wondering again what she had in mind for later, but she just smiled and took his hand.
“Do you know why your parents wanted us to come over, Max?” Maria asked as they walked up to the door.
“No.”
The graduation party had ended a little while ago and Max’s parents had asked Max to invite his friends over for a few minutes before he and Liz went out.
“Mom…Dad….” Max called as the four teenagers entered the foyer. Mrs. Evans appeared from the top of the stairs.
“Hi Honey. You all go into the living room. Your father and I will be down in a minute.”
They complied, walking in to find Isabel and Jesse seated on the couch. Jesse was kissing Isabel’s neck, but they stopped when they saw their friends come in. Isabel sat up on the couch, and straightened her skirt, pointedly avoiding eye contact with her two brothers.
Michael raised an eyebrow at Max who shook his head silently as they all sat down. “So, why do Mom and Dad want to see us?” Max asked his sister.
“You’ll see,” Isabel said mysteriously, sending a smiling glance at Jesse. All heads turned as the older Evans entered the living room, Mr. Evans placing some papers on the coffee table in front of him as he sat.
He looked at the kids in front of him, their slightly wary expressions causing him to smile, glancing at his wife to see the same amused expression on her face.
“Before we get started, Diane and I want to congratulate you kids again on graduating. Considering everything that’s happened in your lives over the last few years, its remarkable that you managed to even make it through high school much less with good grades.” Mr. Evans paused, more dramatic effect then anything else, enjoying the anticipation that was permeating the room.
“We’re really proud of all of you. That goes for you too, Isabel.” Isabel smiled at her father’s words.
“Diane and I spent quite a while trying to decide what type of graduation presents to give…..”
Everyone shifted in their seats as wariness gave way to excitement.
“….but we finally settled on something that I hope you’ll like.” He picked up the bundle of papers in front of him and pulled out an envelope. “Michael……”
Michael sat up straighter in surprise, not expecting to be the first one addressed much less anything else.
“We want you to know that we’ve come to think of you as one of our children over the last several months. I was impressed with your determination during your emancipation hearing and it’s obvious that you’ve really come a long way since then. You’ve been self sufficient for over two years now and holding down two jobs while finishing high school and various other complications….that’s pretty impressive, Son.”
An unfamiliar feeling of pride tightened Michael’s chest as he listened to Max’s father complimenting him.
“Max told us that you’re going to continue your job at Meta-Chem and that you were thinking about taking classes at ENMU, so Diane and I want you to have this. We wanted to give you something that we hope will help you on your way.” He handed the envelope to Michael, who took it hesitantly. Still nervous as the center of attention, he awkwardly slid the flap out of the envelope, his fingers shaking slightly as he pulled a check out. His eyes widened in surprise, his head shooting up to look at the Evans in stunned amazement.
“There’s enough there to cover your first year’s tuition and books, and if you decide to keep going, we’ll help you out with the rest.”
“Oh My God, Michael….that’s awesome….” Maria exclaimed, leaning over to look at the check.
Michael continued to stare at the amount of money on the check, barely registering the congratulations of the others, and Isabel’s hug. When he finally lifted his eyes, he had to swallow several times before he could speak.
“Thank….thank you,” he finally managed, embarrassed by the thick sound of his voice.
“You’ve saved Max’s life, Michael. More than once, so I’m told,” Mrs. Evans said, glancing at her daughter. “We can’t make up for the years you were …left out but hopefully from now on, you’ll feel like a part of our family.”
Eyes inexplicably burning, Michael blinked several times to keep from further embarrassing himself, nodding as he tucked the check in his pocket. Maria was clinging to him and he slid his hand into hers, knowing she could feel his emotions so close to the surface. She tightened her grip and caressed the top of his hand with her thumb offering her love and happiness for him.
“Max……” Mr. Evans sighed and shook his head. “I don’t really know what to say, Son. Your mother and I are so proud of you.”
Max felt Liz squeeze the hand she was holding, and he glanced at her, seeing from the look in her eyes that she knew his automatic response to his father’s words was denial that they had anything to be proud of.
“You and your sister and Michael have lived with this secret…this burden for all of these years and you’ve all overcome more obstacles than anyone should have to deal with. It’s amazing to me, the things you’ve all lived through…Liz and Maria and Kyle too.” Mr. Evans picked up the other papers in front of him.
“You’ve all been through so much the last several months, so Diane and I decided that you needed a break. A vacation.” He opened up the folder and withdrew what looked like plane tickets.
“We’ve booked a flight to Galveston Island, Texas for all of you to stay at the Holiday Inn on the Beach for the weekend.”
Liz and Maria gasped and Max stared down at the tickets his father had handed him. “All of us?”
Mrs. Evans smiled. “You and Liz and Michael and Maria….and Isabel and Jesse. We thought that Liz and Maria’s parents might feel better about it if they knew that an older couple was going. We asked Jim Valenti about Kyle, but Jenna is going to Europe with her parents for part of the summer and Kyle didn’t want to spend his last weekend away from her.”
Liz and Maria looked at each other, and Liz felt a twinge of uncertainty through her excitement at how her parents were going to react.
Max shook his head. He couldn’t believe his parents. He had to be the luckiest person on the planet. “Thank you. This is….thank you,” he said again.
Mrs. Evans smiled. “You’ve earned it, Sweetheart. All of you have. We want you to spend the weekend not worrying about anything except sunburn and having a good time.
“Thank you so much,” Liz said, looking over Max’s shoulder at the resort brochure.
“Yes… thanks,” Maria said, eagerly taking the brochure when Max passed it to her.
“You’re welcome. And tell your parents that if they have questions or anything to call us.”
Liz and Maria and Isabel began talking excitedly about getting new swimsuits and after a moment, Mr. Evans took the opportunity to pull both Michael and Max aside.
“I want you boys to know that I trust you. We’ve booked three rooms, and it’s your choice how you want to work the accommodations,” he said looking at them levelly. “All I expect is that you’re careful and you respect the girls wishes.”
Max felt his face heat up at what his father was implying so he just nodded quickly, glancing at Michael who was staring at something on the wall as though he’d suddenly become invisible. Max almost expected him to roll his eyes and start whistling. Feeling Max’s eyes on him, Michael finally looked at the two Evans’ men and nodded too.
"Thanks, Dad."
"You're welcome Son. Just be careful and have a good time." Phillip Evans patted the two boys on the shoulder affectionately before turning back to the others. The girls were still chattering about shopping while Jesse was looking at the brochure and talking to Mrs. Evans.
“Okay, well….that’s all we wanted. I know you have plans tonight so…..” Mr. Evans said.
The girls got up from the couch and everyone walked towards the door. Mrs. Evans hugged her children, then hugged Michael who stiffened slightly before managing to bring a hand up to her shoulder in a small gesture of acceptance.
The girls thanked the Evans again before they went out the door, saying goodnight to Jesse and Isabel.
Max and Liz headed towards the Chevelle, waving goodnight to Michael and Maria. When they were inside the car, Liz felt Max's eyes on her and she turned to find him staring at her with a mixture of wariness and anticipation. She smiled at him.
"So……."
"Yeah….so……um….where do you want to go?" Max asked, his eyes caressing her face. His hand moved up to smooth a small lock of hair from her cheek.
"Let's just drive and see where the night takes us," Liz said, rubbing her cheek against his knuckles.
Max didn't miss the double meaning in her words and he nodded reaching to start the car, his stomach doing somersaults at the thought of what Liz might be expecting from this night. His mind was cauterized by the thought that she might be wanting to move their relationship to the next level and he was equally turned on and terrified by the thought. Trying to still his chaotic thoughts, Max headed the Chevelle out into the warm desert night.
******************
Michael and Maria stumbled through the door of his apartment, Maria's legs tangling with his as he kissed her blindly. She'd been teasing him unmercifully in the car, until he'd almost pulled over and showed her just how ready he was, but he'd managed to hang onto his last shred of control long enough to make it home.
Now, however…it was a different story.
Slamming the door closed with his foot, Michael moved towards his girlfriend intending to divest her of her clothes with as much expediency as possible. He barely registered her stopping his hands from pulling her shirt off until she finally yelled.
"Michael!"
"What?" he said, looking down at her in a daze, his hand still moving to get rid of her shirt, but she grabbed his wrists.
"Micheal…..just wait for a second, " Maria said, avoiding the lips that were trying to devour hers.
"Why?" Michael said, still not getting it…and not stopping his actions.
"Who are you….John Travolta?” Maria said in irritation.
“Who?”
Maria rolled her eyes in exasperation and tried again. “Just wait a minute okay? I want to say something."
Shit, she wanted to talk now? Michael sighed and finally stopped his groping, folding his arms over his chest in a gesture of impatience.
Maria bit back her first instinct to say something nasty about his attitude and instead, took a deep breath and said what she'd wanted to say in the first place.
"I love you, Michael," she began seriously, but Michael immediately jumped on what he thought was the bandwagon.
"I love you too," he said, reaching for her intending to move things in the right direction, but Maria stepped back from his grasp.
"No, I'm not done.” She took his hand ignoring the scowl on his face and tried again. “I love you and I’m really proud of you. You’ve accomplished so much. Mr. Evans was right. It’s really impressive.”
Michael’s scowl had given way to discomfort as he listened to Maria’s words. It wasn’t what she was saying so much as he didn’t know how to react.
Seeing his discomfort, Maria almost stopped, but decided that he really needed to hear this. “When I look back at us, I can’t believe how far we’ve come. How far I've come." She looked down at her hands. " You know, when my Dad left, it was really hard on us and I told myself that I would never let a man get close enough to me to do what he did to my Mom." Maria looked back up at him and smiled tremulously, tears threatening. "And then I met you. And even though you drive me crazy, you’ve also given me back something I wasn’t aware I was missing."
Maria took a deep breath. “You gave me back my faith, Michael. You stayed on this planet for me even though the only thing you'd ever wanted was to go home. You stayed here because you love me. And I don't need someone who knows how to pick out fancy bubble bath as a gift or who always says the right thing at the right time. I just need you.”
Michael was completely at a loss. His throat had tightened up to the point that he wasn't sure he'd ever be able to speak again. Maria's words were piercing through the layers of defenses he'd built up to bath his soul in love…and he didn't know what to say….or do.
"So…" Maria said, feeling the silence acutely. She knew that words weren't Michael's strong suit but she'd hoped he would at least have something to say. As the silence stretched, Maria looked away, swallowing back tears only to gasp in surprise when Michael suddenly picked her up in his arms and sat with her on the couch.
Not saying anything, he looked in her eyes and Maria blinked as their rarely used connection came to life. She was suddenly assaulted by a wave of love so powerful that her breath caught in her throat. Flashes were coming at her and Maria gave up trying to grasp all of them as Michael opened himself up fully to her, letting her feel his love ….his deep need for her as the only person he'd ever let in this way…his fear that he'd never be good enough for her. Finally gathering her wits, Maria returned his gift, letting him feel the things her words had been trying to convey. It was a rare, precious moment for both of them and they savored it together until they finally allowed the connection to fade.
"Wow, that was….wow," Maria said, still staring up at Michael's face. To her complete astonishment and delight, Michael smiled, a rare actual smile that lit his eyes and transformed his features into utter beauty. It only lasted a moment, but Maria would remember it for a lifetime. Recovering, she reached up and kissed him, a kiss full of love and promise.
"Now where we?" she asked against his lips, smiling as Michael pulled back and looked down at her, a completely different look in his eyes from a moment ago.
"I think were about…..here," he said, reaching down to pull her shirt over her head.
"Oh yeah…" Maria breathed out, helping him and then reached for the clasp of her bra, watching as Michael's eyes followed her movements avidly. "I remember now…."
**************************
"You're parents are really terrific, Max. I can't believe they're paying for all of us to spend the weekend at the beach." Liz said, as she helped Max lay a blanket out on the sand. They were in the desert, close to where they'd found the orb so long ago. It seemed like an appropriate place, almost like they'd come full circle. Liz sat down after they'd smoothed it out, wrapping her arms around her knees as Max sat next to her. It wasn't too cool, which was nice since Liz was still in her sundress.
"Yeah. I always knew that Isabel and I were lucky that they found us, but I never anticipated that they'd be so accepting. After everything I've put them through….." Max trailed off as he felt Liz's arm against his. Her skin was warm and smooth and he was glad he'd rolled up the sleeves of his dress shirt at the party.
"I just hope that Mom and Dad don't give me too much trouble. I mean, I'm going anyway, but it would be nice if they were okay with it."
Max nodded, frowning, wishing once again that he wasn’t the cause of Liz’s volatile relationship with her parents. Seeing his expression, Liz shook her head. “It wouldn’t matter who I was going with Max. It’s the whole, “spending the weekend at the beach alone with your boyfriend” thing, which I suppose is understandable. But Mom and I had a talk about….you know…things so….” Looking at the strong, muscled forearm resting next to hers on his knee, Liz lost track of what she was saying. Feeling compelled to touch him, she ran her hand over that muscle, feeling it flex as her fingers skimmed lightly over his skin.
“Liz…” Max’s voice was husky as he felt her touch all the way to his toes.
“Do you remember the last time we were here, Max?” Liz asked, still running her hand over his skin, gazing at the contrast between her small hand and his masculine arm. “It was colder that night, but I wasn’t feeling it. I was so hot. Like my skin was going to burn up if you didn’t touch it. Did you feel that way too?”
“Yes,” Max answered, mesmerized by the tone of her voice and the way she was caressing his skin.
“I remember how you told me that you had to kiss me and how I could feel how much you wanted me.” Liz finally looked up into his darkened eyes, seeing the remnants of that desire burning in his gaze. “I wanted you too, but it wasn’t just us, was it? It was the orbs compelling us too.”
Max nodded, still gazing at her upturned face.
“That was a long time ago, Max, and the orbs are nowhere near.” Liz got to her knees, kicking off her shoes in the process. “But I still want you,” she whispered, pushing Max’s shoulders until he lay flat on the blanket.
“Liz….”
Feeling the mixture of hesitation and need coursing through him, Liz shook her head, her long hair a silky curtain around her face. “Don’t be afraid, Max. I’m not expecting anything that you don’t want to give. I just want to touch you.”
She leaned down to cover his lips with hers, kissing him until he responded by pulling her down over his body, tunneling his hand through her hair to hold her still while he plundered her mouth with his tongue. A small moan escaped Liz’s throat as she pressed herself more firmly against Max’s taut body, feeling his burgeoning excitement. Wanting to feel his skin, Liz rolled slightly to get hands in between them, her fingers making quick work of the buttons on his shirt. Dragging her lips away from his, Liz levered herself up long enough to pull the shirt tails out of his pants before running her hands lightly over his naked torso. She bent to kiss him again, her fingers running through his hair, over his cheekbones, sliding down his shoulders.
A groan issued from Max’s throat as Liz’s lips skimmed his collarbone and moved to his chest. She stared down at the mark she left before boldly moving to taste a masculine nipple that stood out against the smoothness of his chest. Every muscle in Max’s body tensed and then he was dragging her up to his mouth, his kisses now fraught with urgency. Liz responded with passion of her own, wanting desperately to be touched the way she was touching him.
Pulling her mouth away from his drugging lips, Liz rolled over until she was lying flat on the blanket, pulling Max with her. Staring up into his passion glazed eyes, she whispered,” Touch me Max.”
Max watched in fascination as Liz took his hand and slowly brought it to rest over her heart, giving him permission to touch her the way she’d been touching him, her eyes gazing at him with longing before reaching up to meet his kiss. His body tight with need, Max wanted desperately to do what she asked, to give in to the burning desire to take what she was offering so lovingly and so freely and give her what she wanted in return. But even as the thought went through his head, he felt her hands slide under his open shirt to find the rippled muscles of his abdomen and the ache in his body intensified, shaking him to the core. He pulled away from her trembling, and got shakily to his feet, stepping several paces away even as his body protested.
"Max?" Liz rose on her elbows, watching as Max faced away from her, running his hands over his face. Feelings of inadequacy rose unbidden, and Liz sat up, looking down as she tried to suppress sudden tears.
"No! Liz….." Max's desperate voice brought her head up and she realized that he'd felt her mortification and hurt. Seeing the appalled look on his face, Liz felt the logical part of her brain kick in, and she took a deep breath, tuning into the feelings she was getting from him instead of concentrating on her own.
Fear, stark and cold. Panic. Guilt. Max wanted her. Badly. His body had reacted ferociously to her touch and her whispered words of desire….and it had scared the crap out of him. He felt himself losing control and it brought every insecurity he'd been trying to overcome right to the surface. Liz felt her heart twist in her chest. She hadn't meant to do that to him. She'd made a mistake. It was too soon. Rising, she approached him slowly, but didn’t touch him, telling by his posture that he didn’t want her too.
“Max….I’m sorry…..”
A harsh sound escaped Max’s throat as he shook his head. “God...Liz…..don’t….don’t…..” He couldn’t even get the words out. How could she be apologizing to him when he’d just hurt her so badly? His stupid fears had made her doubt her appeal and that was unforgivable.
Liz could practically hear the litany of self-loathing going through his head, their connection still simmering above normal by their heightened emotions.
Pathetic….stupid…she deserved someone who could love her the way she wanted, not an emotional cripple. Never be normal……
“Max….stop… listen to me….” Liz said, finally reaching out to cup his face in her hands. She had to find a way to counteract the damage he was doing to himself and the only way she knew how was to touch him. Flooding their connection with as much love and forgiveness as she could, Liz let her heart speak for her, asking him to forgive her as well as himself.
Max trembled on the brink of pulling away, but his starving soul wouldn’t let him. Instead, he ended up wrapped in her arms, his own holding her tightly, shuddering breaths coming raggedly from his chest. When he’d calmed down enough to speak, his voice came out thick and pleading.
“I’m sorry…I’m so sorry….you’re beautiful and I love looking at you and….and touching you….I wanted you too…I just….I couldn’t…..”
Liz stopped the ragged flow of words with a soft kiss. “I know Max….I know. I’m sorry I pushed you to do something you weren’t ready for.”
She felt his disgust with himself at her statement. Pulling away, she led him back to the blanket and they sat, facing each other, her legs tucked under her. “Listen to me Max. I told you I wasn’t expecting anything that you didn’t want to give and I know we aren’t ready to make love yet. That isn’t….that’s not what I was…. I just…wanted us to be close. To take another step.” She looked at him sitting there, swallowing at how unbelievably sexy he looked with his shirt hanging open. Max caught her look and her thoughts before she could sensor them and he looked down at his naked chest, blushing as he pulled the ends together and started re-buttoning them.
Liz watched him, feeling slightly embarrassed. She’d never thought of herself as a sexually aggressive person, but since being with Max, she found herself wanting things and initiating things that she never had with anyone else. Maybe that wasn’t such an attractive trait…..
“No..Liz….” Max picked up on her feelings and he cupped her face in his hands. “Don’t do that. I love that you…feel that way about me. I feel that way about you too. Don’t ever think that you have to change or hide your real feelings. I love you exactly the way you are.”
Tears stood out in Liz’s eyes as she listened to the heartfelt words. “Why can’t you believe that I feel the same way about you, Max?” Max dropped his hands away, avoiding her gaze. “You can’t ask me to do that if you aren’t willing to do it yourself,” she said.
When he still wouldn’t look at her, Liz sighed in exasperation. “Okay, then answer me this.” She waited until he finally looked at her before continuing. “If it were me instead of you….if I was the one who…stopped us….would you be angry at me?”
“Of course not,” Max said immediately.
“Would you think I was pathetic or…be upset with me because you wanted something that I wasn’t ready to give you?”
“No….I would never feel that way, Liz.” Max said, his tone indicating that he couldn’t believe she’d even ask him that.
“Then why would think that I would feel that way? And why should you feel that way about yourself? You can’t have a double standard, Max. If my wants and needs count, then so do yours and if one of us isn’t ready to take the next step, then the other has to respect that.”
Her argument was solid logic and Max couldn’t really argue with her. And even though he wasn’t quite ready to let go of his self doubt completely, he nodded. “Okay. I agree that it should work the same way for both of us and that we should wait until we’re ready. But Liz…,” Max took her hand in his, looking at her with his heart in his eyes. “Don’t ever think that I don’t want you or that you’re not enough. Everything about you is perfect to me and the whole reason that I…reacted the way I did was because I did want to touch you…so much…too much…” His fear came through with that last statement and Liz’s hands tightened around his.
“I know why you’re afraid, Max. But you don’t have to be. Nothing you want or feel is wrong. Don’t ever be afraid to tell me or….or….show me how you feel.”
Leaning up hesitantly, Liz touched her lips to his, relieved when he responded. The kiss was brief…sweet…healing. When they parted, Max looked down at her. “Are you ready to go?”
Hearing the hesitancy in his voice, Liz shook her head. “No. Let’s stay here for a while. Will you hold me?”
Max nodded and together they lay on the blanket, Liz’s head resting on his chest. She wrapped her free hand lightly around his neck, stroking the silky strands of hair within her reach, still feeling a little angry at herself. Tonight hadn’t gone the way she planned, but it was her fault not Max’s. She knew how much he needed to feel in control and she’d inadvertently taken that away from him. From now on, she would let him decide how far he was willing to go. It didn’t mean that she would stop letting him know what she wanted, just that she would let him take the lead so he could call a halt if he needed to without feeling guilty.
Stroking her arm lightly with his knuckles, Max took comfort from the warm feel of Liz curled up against him. Tonight had been a fiasco and it was his fault. Liz hadn’t done anything but show him how much she loved and wanted him and he’d reacted like…like……like the loser you are, he thought. Any guy with half a brain and a third the testosterone would have jumped at the chance to have a girl like Liz in his arms. But he couldn’t handle it. He could almost hear Tess’s taunting voice in his head.
“You’re so pathetic, Max.”
Closing his eyes against the pain of his thoughts, Max tightened his hold on Liz, knowing that her presence was the only thing keeping the demons at bay.
TBC.......
Everything To You Series (CC/Mature) (Complete)
Moderators: Itzstacie, Forum Moderators
Well, here I am. Thanks for reading and writing to me. I see that everyone agrees that Tess was not a nice person (snort) and that Max needs to work on letting go.
I guess I should tell you that this part is pushing into an R rating and that from now on, we'll just say that the parts will range from PG to R. I hope that doesn't stop anyone from reading. I love hearing from all of you. Sometimes when I'm writing, I just can't tell how good or bad a part is until I hear from you because they all seem like they could be better to me. When I read some of the other stories on this board, I'm humbled that anyone even bothers. Okay enough whining.
Let me know what you think.
Everything to You Part 53
The “Fasten Seatbelt” sign popped on, and Max automatically looked up. They were in the air on their way to their beach weekend, but the flight was only about halfway through. There’d been some turbulence so Max guessed that was why the sign came on. He glanced over at Liz across the aisle from him, but she was looking at a magazine with Maria so he sighed and leaned his head back on the seat.
God, he was tired. Max had wanted to sit with Liz on the plane and hopefully get some sleep, but Michael and Maria had been fighting almost nonstop for the last couple of days and Maria flat out refused to sit by him. When Max had asked Michael what was wrong, his answer was typical:
“Who the hell knows? She’s been biting my head off for no reason and I’m over it.” Putting his headphones back on, Michael had ignored all of them since.
Max looked out the window at the clouds and blue sky displayed, looking forward to this vacation with mixed emotions. His excitement over getting to spend time with Liz at the beach, just relaxing and having fun, were tempered by his ambivalence over a decision he’d made.
The night of graduation, he’d gone home after dropping Liz off and tried to sleep, but as in the past, whenever his emotions were in turmoil, nightmares plagued him. He dreamed of the night at the observatory with Tess, which was painful in itself, but that was only part of it. The dream had changed and he was suddenly with Liz in the desert. She was kissing him and telling him she wanted him to touch her, and, as in real life, he got up and left her there on the blanket, only in the dream, Tess was there observing.
“That really is sad,” the dream Tess said, smiling cruelly. “Look at you. You don’t have a clue, do you? She’s going to get tired of babying you and leave you, just like you deserve, and find a real man.”
His dream self had shook his head in denial, but the dream changed again. This time he and Tess were
standing outside watching Liz smile and laugh with another guy, reaching out to touch him while they talked in the CrashDown. The guy leaned over to kiss her, and she closed her eyes, giving him permission. Max had burned with jealousy in the dream.
“I told you,” said dream Tess, watching the couple through the window. “You had a chance but you blew it, Max. Face it. You’re pathetic and you’re destined to spend the rest of your life alone.”
Max ran a hand over his chin, unconsciously shaking his head as he remembered Tess’ voice in his dream. He woken up that night, unable to go back to sleep, and since then, sleep had been a rare occurrence.
Logically, Max knew that he was letting his fear get the best of him. Liz had assured him the night of graduation that she wasn’t upset and that she loved him and that she was willing to wait and help him get over his fears. And he believed her. It was just that, his guilt and his anger at his own inability to be normal wouldn’t go away just like that. Liz might not be upset with him, but he was unhappy with himself. His neediness and fear were pissing him off and he’d come to a decision after analyzing his reaction to Liz’s overtures.
It was his body’s reaction that scared him the most whenever he and Liz were close. Somehow, what Tess had done to him had manifested itself by making him afraid to lose control.
Max had given it a lot of thought. Tess’s ability to control his mind as well as his body had traumatized him. He’d been unable to stop her when she was touching him, trying to get him to react to her and when she made him think he was with Liz, she’d taken advantage of his longing to be with the girl that he loved and taken his virginity. He could still see her smile of triumph after it was over. Closing his eyes, Max swallowed back the bile that rose in his throat.
The other night when he and Liz were kissing and touching, he’d wanted her desperately. But just the thought of letting his desire to make love to Liz take over had his stomach twisting in knots. He couldn’t give in to his body’s wants, no matter how much it hurt to stop.
At least not yet. Max hoped in time, he wouldn’t have this fear of losing control and that he and Liz would have a normal relationship, but until then, he could still give Liz what she wanted. He could move their relationship to the next level of intimacy without losing his control. It would be hard to be given free reign to the secrets of Liz’s body without finding release for his own desires, but he could do it. For Liz, he would do it. And hopefully that would be enough for now. Because he couldn’t lose her. Max closed his eyes, consciously relaxing his hands which had clenched into fists. He couldn’t lose her.
Liz, for her part, was aware of none of the things going through Max’s head. Glancing in his direction, she saw that he had his eyes closed with his head back against the seat, and she hoped he was trying to get some sleep. Although he’d acted as if nothing was wrong, Liz knew that Max hadn’t been sleeping for the last several nights. She could always tell and she wished he would open up about it to her, but she also knew he was struggling with what happened on graduation night. They’d talked about it some more and Liz had done her best to assure him that she was okay with where they were in their relationship and that she was willing to wait and that he didn’t have to feel bad about what happened. But of course, he did.
Liz sighed. She’d hoped that this trip would be fun and relaxing, but so far, it didn’t look like it was going to turn out that way. She glanced at Maria, who was staring out the window. Her friend had been tense and snappish for the last couple of days, Michael, of course, baring the brunt of it. When Liz questioned her about it, Maria just blew it off, saying that she didn’t like to fly and that she was PMSing, which pissed her off since they were going to be at the beach. Whatever it was, it didn’t make for pleasant companionship and having Michael and Maria at each other’s throats was not helping the tension between her and Max. Liz looked over at Jesse and Isabel, who were talking and holding hands. At least they were happy.
It was ironic to Liz that she’d had to coerce her parents into letting her come on this trip and it might turn out to be the trip from hell. When she’d first told them about Mr. and Mrs. Evan’s gift, they’d been reluctant to say the least. Liz had decided not to lie and say that she and Max weren’t going to spend time alone together. And she hadn’t said anything at all when they pointed out the room arrangements because she knew that even if she said she was sharing a room with Maria, she would end up with Max, just because Michael and Maria would want to be together, if nothing else.
In the end, they’d said it was her decision, but Liz could tell that they weren’t happy about it. Liz finally decided to pull her mother aside later in the evening to tell her that she and Max had had a discussion and decided to wait to become more intimate. Her mother’s relief was palpable and she’d hugged her and told her how proud she was of her. She’d even deigned to compliment Max, and Liz knew that her mother would share the news with her father so Liz had been able to leave on her trip without feeling guilty for worrying her parents.
Liz closed the magazine and put her chair back, closing her eyes. She wished she was sitting next to Max so she could hold his hand and just feel him next to her. It was silly, considering he was only a few feet away from her, but she couldn’t help it. She missed him when he wasn’t near and having him so close but not being able to touch him was just annoying.
An hour and a half later the plane finally landed and they got their luggage and took the shuttle to the hotel. It had been discussed before hand that initially at least, Liz and Maria and Max and Michael would actually share rooms. That might change later in the evening, but for now, the girls would be together. Maria seemed happier now that they were actually there and after touring the hotel a little, everyone decided that they would hit the pool since it was so late and go to the beach tomorrow.
It was hot and the pool was beautiful, large and invitingly cool looking, surrounded by palm trees with a waterfall at one end.
Liz was a little nervous about her swimsuit, not remembering it looking quite so revealing when she tried it on in the store, but one look at Max’s face when she pulled off her cover up and she was glad she’d decided to be a little more daring. Not that she was much better off after he took off his tee shirt. One look at that toned chest, and Liz forgot how to breathe. Of course, she wasn’t the only one, but Max seemed oblivious to the looks he was getting from other women.
Noticing the stares, Liz felt an uncharacteristic wave of possession over take her, making her want to shout “MINE” at them. But all was forgotten when, after swimming and playing with the others, Max led her to the waterfall and kissed her breathless as the water cascaded over their heads. They hid behind the water to continue their little make out session, and Liz noticed immediately that something was different, but she was too distracted by the things Max was doing with his tongue to analyze it.
After the pool, they’d all gone to dinner together at the hotel. It was a pleasant interlude, and even Michael and Maria managed to be civil to each other. Liz had asked her again earlier if she was all right, but Maria had assured her she was fine and seemed to make more of an effort to be pleasant since they’d arrived.
Once dinner was over, they’d all gone their separate ways, promising to meet up in the morning for the beach. Liz and Maria were sharing a room for now, but they both knew that might change before the night was over. She and Max decided to take a walk on the beach, so here they were, finally alone.
“This is perfect,” Liz said as they walked, the slight breeze ruffling her hair, the smell of the ocean so different from New Mexico. Everything felt different here. Like a different world. Back in Roswell, there was always that element of waiting for disaster to strike even though the threat seemed to be significantly reduced lately. But here away from everyday life, everything seemed surreal. The romantic atmosphere of the beach surrounded them and Liz loved it. She wanted to bask in it with Max.
“It is,” Max agreed. He was feeling it too. The cocoon of unreality that was permeating the air. He felt Liz shiver.
“Are you cold?”
“The breeze is a little…..I’m not used to it.” Liz answered.
Max wasn’t wearing a jacket, but he spotted a lawn chair under a canopy under some trees, set up for beach dwellers in the morning and he led Liz over to it. Sitting down, he pulled her between his legs and wrapped his arms around her bare shoulders, resting his hands on her midriff. They’d changed back into their bathing suits after dinner so they could go for another swim in the pool if they felt like it later, and Max couldn’t help but admire the bare length of leg showing as she stretched out in front of him on the chair.
“Better?” he asked, his lips against her ear.
“Yeah,” Liz answered. Her head rested on his chest as they gazed out at the ocean, watching small waves crest on the sand. Max was rubbing his hand lightly across her stomach over her cover up while Liz traced small patterns on his arm. An occasional couple would walk by but they were far enough away the no one really noticed them.
“Did you ever find out what was up with Maria? She seemed better at dinner.”
“Female stuff,” Liz replied and smiled when she heard his muttered, “Oh”, a wealth of meaning hidden in that one syllable.
After they sat for a while in silence, Max began placing small kisses on her neck, almost absently at first, then with more purpose. Dropping her head to one side, Liz closed her eyes at the sensation of his lips. His light touch was causing shivering sensations all over her body. The hand that had been holding her finally sneaked under the edge of the material to untie it and let it drift open and the contact of his warm hand on the bare skin of her stomach caused Liz’s breath to hitch slightly in her throat. She looked up as she heard laughter, but it was farther away up the beach and she was once again distracted as Max caressed her skin. He continued to nibble on her neck, moving down to her shoulder where her sleeve fell away.
His hand on her stomach began to inch upward, skimming her ribcage and Liz felt her nipples tighten in anticipation as the kisses on her neck became more insistent, sucking on her skin, tasting it with his tongue. Shifting restlessly, she unconsciously thrust her breasts forward in invitation, wanting that caressing hand to touch her intimately.
Time seemed suspended for a moment before Liz felt Max let out a breath against her neck, and she gasped as he slowly reached up with both hands to cup her breasts in his palms. He remained motionless for a moment, giving her time to stop him, but Liz was too surprised and too overwhelmed with the sensation to protest.
Tentatively, Max moved his fingers, caressing the undersides, lightly squeezing, the soft roundness in his palms setting off violent reactions in his body. He moved his thumbs over the pointed tips, prominently displayed by the small triangles of material covering her, and Liz let out a small moan, the sensation going straight to her loins. She could hear Max’s breathing growing shallow, his caresses becoming bolder, his large hands massaging, his fingers plucking lightly, circling.
“Max….” Liz breathed, overwhelmed with sexual heat from his touch. Wanting to do the same for him, Liz tried to shift, but Max stopped her.
“Shhhhh, ….let me do this…..” Max’s voice was husky, strained and Liz suddenly became aware of the hard evidence of his arousal in the small of her back. His lips blazed a trail of heat across to her other shoulder and Liz moaned again when Max pulled her earlobe into his mouth, sucking lightly. His hands continued their sensual assault and she realized that they were trembling.
Trying to shake off the sexual haze that had enveloped her brain, Liz noticed again that something was different. Why had Max suddenly decided that he was willing to do this, the logical side of her brain reasoned, while the side other side still processed the amazing feel of his hands and mouth.
One of Max's hands left her breast to caress her bare thigh, and Liz stopped breathing, partly in anticipation, partly in sudden trepidation as she reached out naturally…unconsciously… for reassurance through their connection….and came up empty.
"Max…" Liz stiffened in his arms, but Max continued his caresses, his fingers lightly tracing the inside of her thigh.
Liz reached down and stopped him, pulling away to turn around and face him.
"What's wrong?" Max asked, a little breathlessly, his body throbbing with desire. He realized that Liz was studying him, not saying anything, but the look on her face caused his stomach to tighten suddenly with unease.
"What's going on, Max?"
"What….didn't you like it?" he asked, uncertainly. He thought she was enjoying his touch. God knows, he was in heaven touching her beautiful body the way he'd wanted to for so long., but maybe she was disappointed or….
"I can't feel you, Max. You're blocking me." Liz swallowed the tears burning her throat at the thought that he was deliberately blocking their connection especially at such a time, but the look on his face confirmed it and she got up from the chair to move away from him. Swiping at the tears, she faced him again.
"Why?"
"I…..Liz…."
"Why are you doing this, Max? A few days ago, we decided together that we would wait, and now all of the sudden, you're okay with it. Why?"
The hurt and anger in her voice filled Max with sickening dread, but he knew he couldn't lie to her. She would know it anyway.
"I….wanted to do this for you. I…wanted to make you feel good. I know we said that we would wait… but I didn't want you to have to just because I….can't."
"And you were blocking me because you knew that once I figured out that this was all for me, I would stop you."
"Yes…no….partly. I…."
"Is that what you think I wanted? To get off? Is that what you think the other night was for me?" Her voice was rising with disbelief that he could be so obtuse.
"No! Liz….I…please that wasn't it," Max said desperately. God, he'd really screwed this up. Not knowing what else to do, Max tentatively reached out, opening his mind. Liz let her breath out as the door opened suddenly on their connection and Max's feelings flooded in.
His humiliation and anger over what happened between them graduation night…his fear of losing her if he couldn't be who she needed….his reasoning that he could touch her as long as he knew he could still maintain control…..and his need to block their connection so not only wouldn't she know what he was doing, but so she wouldn't be able to feel his desire and the pain it was causing him to hold back.
Tears streaming down her face, Liz realized just how screwed up Max's thinking had gotten. She saw glimpses of his dreams and she literally shook with anger over the hold Tess seemed to have on him still. Swearing, Liz knew that if Tess were standing in front of her right now, she'd kill her without blinking an eye.
Feeling her feelings, Max swallowed thickly. She was right. He was screwed up. He saw through her eyes how she felt about his one sided thinking and he was ashamed. "I'm sorry."
"Oh Max. Do you see now? Did you really think that's what I wanted? I love it when you touch me and kiss me….but it's us together that makes it special. If all I wanted was sex, I could go out and find anyone to give me that." Liz felt her anger draining away as she explained her feelings to him. God, she loved him so much. Why did it have to be so hard for them? Liz sank heavily down onto the lawn chair.
The despair in Liz’s voice stabbed Max like a knife, and he stood there on the sand, realizing for the first time how his inability to let go of the last year’s traumatic events was really affecting Liz. He knew how much she’d wanted to help him, but he'd been so wrapped up in his pain that he hadn't let himself see how Liz was suffering with him. Every time he inflicted another wound on himself, she felt it too. Her love for him was deep and lasting…and he was hurting her by not believing he was worthy of it. It had to stop.
Sinking down on the sand next to her, Max spoke. “I had a dream last week…on graduation night.” He swallowed, hesitating, but knowing he had to do this. If there was any hope of ridding himself of the demons that plagued him, he had to talk about it. Max had known that for a while, but he hadn’t been willing until now to try because it hurt too much. But seeing how much he was hurting Liz with his reticence, he knew he needed to stop being a coward and let her in.
Liz held her breath. She heard his words and felt his fear through their connection, but she also felt his resolve and his realization that he was hurting her as much as himself by not talking about it. She felt his remorse over deceiving her and his willingness to change as well and her heart pounded in a mixture of anticipation and dread of what she was about to hear.
“I don’t dream every night anymore. I did at first when…when we got back but….now it’s only …sometimes. I went home after we left the desert and…and…dreamed about the night Zan was conceived.” Max’s voice was quiet, but a wealth of pain could be heard in that statement. Liz felt renewed tears burning the back of her throat as she felt his disgust…his humiliation…his guilt. She wanted to hold him, but knew that he needed to do this in his own way, so she sat, letting her love and sympathy flow through their connection as she listened.
“After that….the dream changed. You and I were in the desert like we had been…kissing and lying on the blanket….and you asked me….you asked me to touch you and I left you there….” Shame, anger, more guilt came at her through the connection. “But in the dream…Tess was there watching. She…said you would get tired of babying me and that you needed a real man.” Max swallowed past the lump in his throat. “Then we were suddenly at the CrashDown….me and you ….and Tess….and you were sitting inside talking to another guy. You touched him and let him kiss you and I was watching you from outside with Tess and …she said that I’d blown it. That I had a chance but that now I was going to be alone for the rest of my life.”
Her heart literally ached. Liz took a deep breath trying to ease it, but it didn’t work. Max’s pain was a living thing inside the both of them. The barriers between them were gone as he let her into his deepest darkest place. She felt as he talked about his dream, how his body reacted when touching her and how he battled those ravenous feelings of desire, hating the need for control, but not knowing how to stop it. She felt his deep fear of losing her to someone who wasn’t emotionally scarred and helplessly needy.
“That isn’t….all I dream about,” Max continued after a moment. He started talking again and Liz listened, horrified…angry….sorrowful as he told her the nightmares that plagued his sleep. Dreams of being tortured, of watching people that he loved being tortured, dreams of watching Zan die over and over. As she listened, a theme began to immerge, obvious to her, but not apparently to him.
In the dreams, he was always helpless. Being manipulated or forced to do something or watch something that he had no control over. Whether it was him physically or just the events happening to him or someone he loved, Liz could tell through his words and through his feelings as he spoke that he knew that if he could just be better or stronger, that these things wouldn’t happen. It was always his fault.
Finally, Max stopped talking, drained beyond belief, his voice a hoarse whisper. He’d bared his soul and it felt….terrifying. Terrifying but…….no just terrifying. He didn’t have the strength to feel liberated at the moment. He sat at his angel’s feet, awaiting his fate, knowing in his heart that she loved him and wouldn’t run screaming from the horror that he was, but he couldn’t quite make his head believe it.
“Max….I know how hard that was for you,” Liz’s voice was soft in his ear. “Thank you for sharing it with me.” Max felt her hand on his shoulder. “I love you, Max.” She said it knowing he needed to hear it, even though their connection was wide open. Liz slid to the ground next to him and was finally able to look into his eyes. The eyes of her soulmate. The eyes of the man who she loved more than she’d ever thought it possible to love someone. Sliding her arms around his neck, she pulled him close, squeezing her eyes shut as she held on tight.
“You don’t have to be afraid, Max. I’m not going to leave you. I promise.”
The words washed over him, and something inside him broke as Max buried his face in her hair. Layers of mire blocking his soul from the light fell away, and he gratefully heaved a small sob of relief as his spirit absorbed the love that Liz was pouring into him.
““I love you so much, Liz. I promise…I won’t ever shut you out again. You’re the only thing that matters to me.”
“I love you. I need to feel you. Don’t ever do that again.”
Their words jumbled together as they pledged their devotion, exchanging passionate, frantic kisses until they were finally able to slow down and savor the love flowing between them. Max felt Liz’s lips against his cheek, lightly kissing his closed eyes, his forehead, his chin. He lovingly returned the gifts, feathering his own lips across her upturned face in homage. When their lips finally came together again, it was a promise for the future that they would never hide from each other again.
Hearing voices coming closer, they finally broke apart, smiling at each other, and Max stood pulling Liz to her feet with him.
“Did you still want to go swimming?” he asked quietly, his arm around her waist where she leaned into him. They stared at each other, as they spoke, lost in their own world.
“Okay. Maybe Michael and Maria are there. They said they might go back.” Liz allowed Max to take her hand and they walked slowly back towards the hotel. She couldn’t get enough of just holding him and feeling his love inside her at the moment and she was almost reluctant to share their time, but they had the rest of the night.
Glancing at her, Max said, “Liz….about what happened….I mean….about me…..touching you……”
“It’s okay, Max. I….I liked it,” Liz felt her cheeks blush slightly. “I just….want us to be ready together. We’ll know when the time is right.”
“I…liked it too, but you’re right. I don’t know when I’ll be ready… but I do know that you are the only girl I want to be with. Ever.” Max stopped her so he could look into her eyes again, wanting her to see his sincerity.
“Me too, Max. Only you.” They kissed again, letting their natural passion take over and they were both breathless by the time they finally pulled apart.
Tucking Liz’s hand in his elbow, Max led her up the beach to their hotel. When they reached the pool, there was no sign of Maria or Michael or even Jesse and Isabel. Deciding to swim anyway, they took off their outer clothes and entered the water.
Max immediately pulled Liz into his arms and floated slowly around the pool, holding her. There weren’t many people and it was warm and intimate as they faced each other, staring into each other’s eyes, just lovingly tracing the other’s features. It was a renewal of their bond, an intimate sharing of their feelings that didn’t need words. Making it to the waterfall, Max brought Liz’s slim body closer, leaning in for a kiss, when he saw Michael out of the corner of his eye, come onto the deck and drop heavily into a chair, his head in his hands.
“Michael’s here…without Maria,” he said to Liz, disengaging their intimate contact. They swam to the other side of the pool and got out.
“Where’s Maria?” Liz asked, accepting a towel from Max.
“Upstairs,” Michael said dully. Max and Liz looked at each other and Max nodded silently as Liz indicated she was going up to find out what was going on. With one last kiss, a promise for later, Liz hurried into the cool interior of the hotel, shivering at the change in temperature. When she finally made it to the room, she entered and found Maria lying on the bed, her arms wrapped around a pillow, tears coursing silently down her cheeks.
“Maria, what’s wrong? Did Michael do something?” Liz asked as she sat on the edge of the bed.
“You could say that,” Maria answered, sniffing back tears.
“Tell me what happened.”
“Nothing happened. We had a fight and I told him to get out.”
“Maria,” Liz said in concern. “Tell me what’s going on. I’ve seen you PMSing before and this isn’t it.
Maria just shook her head and turned away, but Liz pulled her back around.
“Come on, Maria. This isn’t like you. What is going on?”
Silence reigned for a moment before Liz heard Maria’s breath come out in a shuddering sigh and her friend finally sat up and faced her, eyes red rimmed and puffy, fear and uncertainty clouding her features.
“I think….I think….I might be pregnant.”
TBC....
I guess I should tell you that this part is pushing into an R rating and that from now on, we'll just say that the parts will range from PG to R. I hope that doesn't stop anyone from reading. I love hearing from all of you. Sometimes when I'm writing, I just can't tell how good or bad a part is until I hear from you because they all seem like they could be better to me. When I read some of the other stories on this board, I'm humbled that anyone even bothers. Okay enough whining.
Let me know what you think.
Everything to You Part 53
The “Fasten Seatbelt” sign popped on, and Max automatically looked up. They were in the air on their way to their beach weekend, but the flight was only about halfway through. There’d been some turbulence so Max guessed that was why the sign came on. He glanced over at Liz across the aisle from him, but she was looking at a magazine with Maria so he sighed and leaned his head back on the seat.
God, he was tired. Max had wanted to sit with Liz on the plane and hopefully get some sleep, but Michael and Maria had been fighting almost nonstop for the last couple of days and Maria flat out refused to sit by him. When Max had asked Michael what was wrong, his answer was typical:
“Who the hell knows? She’s been biting my head off for no reason and I’m over it.” Putting his headphones back on, Michael had ignored all of them since.
Max looked out the window at the clouds and blue sky displayed, looking forward to this vacation with mixed emotions. His excitement over getting to spend time with Liz at the beach, just relaxing and having fun, were tempered by his ambivalence over a decision he’d made.
The night of graduation, he’d gone home after dropping Liz off and tried to sleep, but as in the past, whenever his emotions were in turmoil, nightmares plagued him. He dreamed of the night at the observatory with Tess, which was painful in itself, but that was only part of it. The dream had changed and he was suddenly with Liz in the desert. She was kissing him and telling him she wanted him to touch her, and, as in real life, he got up and left her there on the blanket, only in the dream, Tess was there observing.
“That really is sad,” the dream Tess said, smiling cruelly. “Look at you. You don’t have a clue, do you? She’s going to get tired of babying you and leave you, just like you deserve, and find a real man.”
His dream self had shook his head in denial, but the dream changed again. This time he and Tess were
standing outside watching Liz smile and laugh with another guy, reaching out to touch him while they talked in the CrashDown. The guy leaned over to kiss her, and she closed her eyes, giving him permission. Max had burned with jealousy in the dream.
“I told you,” said dream Tess, watching the couple through the window. “You had a chance but you blew it, Max. Face it. You’re pathetic and you’re destined to spend the rest of your life alone.”
Max ran a hand over his chin, unconsciously shaking his head as he remembered Tess’ voice in his dream. He woken up that night, unable to go back to sleep, and since then, sleep had been a rare occurrence.
Logically, Max knew that he was letting his fear get the best of him. Liz had assured him the night of graduation that she wasn’t upset and that she loved him and that she was willing to wait and help him get over his fears. And he believed her. It was just that, his guilt and his anger at his own inability to be normal wouldn’t go away just like that. Liz might not be upset with him, but he was unhappy with himself. His neediness and fear were pissing him off and he’d come to a decision after analyzing his reaction to Liz’s overtures.
It was his body’s reaction that scared him the most whenever he and Liz were close. Somehow, what Tess had done to him had manifested itself by making him afraid to lose control.
Max had given it a lot of thought. Tess’s ability to control his mind as well as his body had traumatized him. He’d been unable to stop her when she was touching him, trying to get him to react to her and when she made him think he was with Liz, she’d taken advantage of his longing to be with the girl that he loved and taken his virginity. He could still see her smile of triumph after it was over. Closing his eyes, Max swallowed back the bile that rose in his throat.
The other night when he and Liz were kissing and touching, he’d wanted her desperately. But just the thought of letting his desire to make love to Liz take over had his stomach twisting in knots. He couldn’t give in to his body’s wants, no matter how much it hurt to stop.
At least not yet. Max hoped in time, he wouldn’t have this fear of losing control and that he and Liz would have a normal relationship, but until then, he could still give Liz what she wanted. He could move their relationship to the next level of intimacy without losing his control. It would be hard to be given free reign to the secrets of Liz’s body without finding release for his own desires, but he could do it. For Liz, he would do it. And hopefully that would be enough for now. Because he couldn’t lose her. Max closed his eyes, consciously relaxing his hands which had clenched into fists. He couldn’t lose her.
Liz, for her part, was aware of none of the things going through Max’s head. Glancing in his direction, she saw that he had his eyes closed with his head back against the seat, and she hoped he was trying to get some sleep. Although he’d acted as if nothing was wrong, Liz knew that Max hadn’t been sleeping for the last several nights. She could always tell and she wished he would open up about it to her, but she also knew he was struggling with what happened on graduation night. They’d talked about it some more and Liz had done her best to assure him that she was okay with where they were in their relationship and that she was willing to wait and that he didn’t have to feel bad about what happened. But of course, he did.
Liz sighed. She’d hoped that this trip would be fun and relaxing, but so far, it didn’t look like it was going to turn out that way. She glanced at Maria, who was staring out the window. Her friend had been tense and snappish for the last couple of days, Michael, of course, baring the brunt of it. When Liz questioned her about it, Maria just blew it off, saying that she didn’t like to fly and that she was PMSing, which pissed her off since they were going to be at the beach. Whatever it was, it didn’t make for pleasant companionship and having Michael and Maria at each other’s throats was not helping the tension between her and Max. Liz looked over at Jesse and Isabel, who were talking and holding hands. At least they were happy.
It was ironic to Liz that she’d had to coerce her parents into letting her come on this trip and it might turn out to be the trip from hell. When she’d first told them about Mr. and Mrs. Evan’s gift, they’d been reluctant to say the least. Liz had decided not to lie and say that she and Max weren’t going to spend time alone together. And she hadn’t said anything at all when they pointed out the room arrangements because she knew that even if she said she was sharing a room with Maria, she would end up with Max, just because Michael and Maria would want to be together, if nothing else.
In the end, they’d said it was her decision, but Liz could tell that they weren’t happy about it. Liz finally decided to pull her mother aside later in the evening to tell her that she and Max had had a discussion and decided to wait to become more intimate. Her mother’s relief was palpable and she’d hugged her and told her how proud she was of her. She’d even deigned to compliment Max, and Liz knew that her mother would share the news with her father so Liz had been able to leave on her trip without feeling guilty for worrying her parents.
Liz closed the magazine and put her chair back, closing her eyes. She wished she was sitting next to Max so she could hold his hand and just feel him next to her. It was silly, considering he was only a few feet away from her, but she couldn’t help it. She missed him when he wasn’t near and having him so close but not being able to touch him was just annoying.
An hour and a half later the plane finally landed and they got their luggage and took the shuttle to the hotel. It had been discussed before hand that initially at least, Liz and Maria and Max and Michael would actually share rooms. That might change later in the evening, but for now, the girls would be together. Maria seemed happier now that they were actually there and after touring the hotel a little, everyone decided that they would hit the pool since it was so late and go to the beach tomorrow.
It was hot and the pool was beautiful, large and invitingly cool looking, surrounded by palm trees with a waterfall at one end.
Liz was a little nervous about her swimsuit, not remembering it looking quite so revealing when she tried it on in the store, but one look at Max’s face when she pulled off her cover up and she was glad she’d decided to be a little more daring. Not that she was much better off after he took off his tee shirt. One look at that toned chest, and Liz forgot how to breathe. Of course, she wasn’t the only one, but Max seemed oblivious to the looks he was getting from other women.
Noticing the stares, Liz felt an uncharacteristic wave of possession over take her, making her want to shout “MINE” at them. But all was forgotten when, after swimming and playing with the others, Max led her to the waterfall and kissed her breathless as the water cascaded over their heads. They hid behind the water to continue their little make out session, and Liz noticed immediately that something was different, but she was too distracted by the things Max was doing with his tongue to analyze it.
After the pool, they’d all gone to dinner together at the hotel. It was a pleasant interlude, and even Michael and Maria managed to be civil to each other. Liz had asked her again earlier if she was all right, but Maria had assured her she was fine and seemed to make more of an effort to be pleasant since they’d arrived.
Once dinner was over, they’d all gone their separate ways, promising to meet up in the morning for the beach. Liz and Maria were sharing a room for now, but they both knew that might change before the night was over. She and Max decided to take a walk on the beach, so here they were, finally alone.
“This is perfect,” Liz said as they walked, the slight breeze ruffling her hair, the smell of the ocean so different from New Mexico. Everything felt different here. Like a different world. Back in Roswell, there was always that element of waiting for disaster to strike even though the threat seemed to be significantly reduced lately. But here away from everyday life, everything seemed surreal. The romantic atmosphere of the beach surrounded them and Liz loved it. She wanted to bask in it with Max.
“It is,” Max agreed. He was feeling it too. The cocoon of unreality that was permeating the air. He felt Liz shiver.
“Are you cold?”
“The breeze is a little…..I’m not used to it.” Liz answered.
Max wasn’t wearing a jacket, but he spotted a lawn chair under a canopy under some trees, set up for beach dwellers in the morning and he led Liz over to it. Sitting down, he pulled her between his legs and wrapped his arms around her bare shoulders, resting his hands on her midriff. They’d changed back into their bathing suits after dinner so they could go for another swim in the pool if they felt like it later, and Max couldn’t help but admire the bare length of leg showing as she stretched out in front of him on the chair.
“Better?” he asked, his lips against her ear.
“Yeah,” Liz answered. Her head rested on his chest as they gazed out at the ocean, watching small waves crest on the sand. Max was rubbing his hand lightly across her stomach over her cover up while Liz traced small patterns on his arm. An occasional couple would walk by but they were far enough away the no one really noticed them.
“Did you ever find out what was up with Maria? She seemed better at dinner.”
“Female stuff,” Liz replied and smiled when she heard his muttered, “Oh”, a wealth of meaning hidden in that one syllable.
After they sat for a while in silence, Max began placing small kisses on her neck, almost absently at first, then with more purpose. Dropping her head to one side, Liz closed her eyes at the sensation of his lips. His light touch was causing shivering sensations all over her body. The hand that had been holding her finally sneaked under the edge of the material to untie it and let it drift open and the contact of his warm hand on the bare skin of her stomach caused Liz’s breath to hitch slightly in her throat. She looked up as she heard laughter, but it was farther away up the beach and she was once again distracted as Max caressed her skin. He continued to nibble on her neck, moving down to her shoulder where her sleeve fell away.
His hand on her stomach began to inch upward, skimming her ribcage and Liz felt her nipples tighten in anticipation as the kisses on her neck became more insistent, sucking on her skin, tasting it with his tongue. Shifting restlessly, she unconsciously thrust her breasts forward in invitation, wanting that caressing hand to touch her intimately.
Time seemed suspended for a moment before Liz felt Max let out a breath against her neck, and she gasped as he slowly reached up with both hands to cup her breasts in his palms. He remained motionless for a moment, giving her time to stop him, but Liz was too surprised and too overwhelmed with the sensation to protest.
Tentatively, Max moved his fingers, caressing the undersides, lightly squeezing, the soft roundness in his palms setting off violent reactions in his body. He moved his thumbs over the pointed tips, prominently displayed by the small triangles of material covering her, and Liz let out a small moan, the sensation going straight to her loins. She could hear Max’s breathing growing shallow, his caresses becoming bolder, his large hands massaging, his fingers plucking lightly, circling.
“Max….” Liz breathed, overwhelmed with sexual heat from his touch. Wanting to do the same for him, Liz tried to shift, but Max stopped her.
“Shhhhh, ….let me do this…..” Max’s voice was husky, strained and Liz suddenly became aware of the hard evidence of his arousal in the small of her back. His lips blazed a trail of heat across to her other shoulder and Liz moaned again when Max pulled her earlobe into his mouth, sucking lightly. His hands continued their sensual assault and she realized that they were trembling.
Trying to shake off the sexual haze that had enveloped her brain, Liz noticed again that something was different. Why had Max suddenly decided that he was willing to do this, the logical side of her brain reasoned, while the side other side still processed the amazing feel of his hands and mouth.
One of Max's hands left her breast to caress her bare thigh, and Liz stopped breathing, partly in anticipation, partly in sudden trepidation as she reached out naturally…unconsciously… for reassurance through their connection….and came up empty.
"Max…" Liz stiffened in his arms, but Max continued his caresses, his fingers lightly tracing the inside of her thigh.
Liz reached down and stopped him, pulling away to turn around and face him.
"What's wrong?" Max asked, a little breathlessly, his body throbbing with desire. He realized that Liz was studying him, not saying anything, but the look on her face caused his stomach to tighten suddenly with unease.
"What's going on, Max?"
"What….didn't you like it?" he asked, uncertainly. He thought she was enjoying his touch. God knows, he was in heaven touching her beautiful body the way he'd wanted to for so long., but maybe she was disappointed or….
"I can't feel you, Max. You're blocking me." Liz swallowed the tears burning her throat at the thought that he was deliberately blocking their connection especially at such a time, but the look on his face confirmed it and she got up from the chair to move away from him. Swiping at the tears, she faced him again.
"Why?"
"I…..Liz…."
"Why are you doing this, Max? A few days ago, we decided together that we would wait, and now all of the sudden, you're okay with it. Why?"
The hurt and anger in her voice filled Max with sickening dread, but he knew he couldn't lie to her. She would know it anyway.
"I….wanted to do this for you. I…wanted to make you feel good. I know we said that we would wait… but I didn't want you to have to just because I….can't."
"And you were blocking me because you knew that once I figured out that this was all for me, I would stop you."
"Yes…no….partly. I…."
"Is that what you think I wanted? To get off? Is that what you think the other night was for me?" Her voice was rising with disbelief that he could be so obtuse.
"No! Liz….I…please that wasn't it," Max said desperately. God, he'd really screwed this up. Not knowing what else to do, Max tentatively reached out, opening his mind. Liz let her breath out as the door opened suddenly on their connection and Max's feelings flooded in.
His humiliation and anger over what happened between them graduation night…his fear of losing her if he couldn't be who she needed….his reasoning that he could touch her as long as he knew he could still maintain control…..and his need to block their connection so not only wouldn't she know what he was doing, but so she wouldn't be able to feel his desire and the pain it was causing him to hold back.
Tears streaming down her face, Liz realized just how screwed up Max's thinking had gotten. She saw glimpses of his dreams and she literally shook with anger over the hold Tess seemed to have on him still. Swearing, Liz knew that if Tess were standing in front of her right now, she'd kill her without blinking an eye.
Feeling her feelings, Max swallowed thickly. She was right. He was screwed up. He saw through her eyes how she felt about his one sided thinking and he was ashamed. "I'm sorry."
"Oh Max. Do you see now? Did you really think that's what I wanted? I love it when you touch me and kiss me….but it's us together that makes it special. If all I wanted was sex, I could go out and find anyone to give me that." Liz felt her anger draining away as she explained her feelings to him. God, she loved him so much. Why did it have to be so hard for them? Liz sank heavily down onto the lawn chair.
The despair in Liz’s voice stabbed Max like a knife, and he stood there on the sand, realizing for the first time how his inability to let go of the last year’s traumatic events was really affecting Liz. He knew how much she’d wanted to help him, but he'd been so wrapped up in his pain that he hadn't let himself see how Liz was suffering with him. Every time he inflicted another wound on himself, she felt it too. Her love for him was deep and lasting…and he was hurting her by not believing he was worthy of it. It had to stop.
Sinking down on the sand next to her, Max spoke. “I had a dream last week…on graduation night.” He swallowed, hesitating, but knowing he had to do this. If there was any hope of ridding himself of the demons that plagued him, he had to talk about it. Max had known that for a while, but he hadn’t been willing until now to try because it hurt too much. But seeing how much he was hurting Liz with his reticence, he knew he needed to stop being a coward and let her in.
Liz held her breath. She heard his words and felt his fear through their connection, but she also felt his resolve and his realization that he was hurting her as much as himself by not talking about it. She felt his remorse over deceiving her and his willingness to change as well and her heart pounded in a mixture of anticipation and dread of what she was about to hear.
“I don’t dream every night anymore. I did at first when…when we got back but….now it’s only …sometimes. I went home after we left the desert and…and…dreamed about the night Zan was conceived.” Max’s voice was quiet, but a wealth of pain could be heard in that statement. Liz felt renewed tears burning the back of her throat as she felt his disgust…his humiliation…his guilt. She wanted to hold him, but knew that he needed to do this in his own way, so she sat, letting her love and sympathy flow through their connection as she listened.
“After that….the dream changed. You and I were in the desert like we had been…kissing and lying on the blanket….and you asked me….you asked me to touch you and I left you there….” Shame, anger, more guilt came at her through the connection. “But in the dream…Tess was there watching. She…said you would get tired of babying me and that you needed a real man.” Max swallowed past the lump in his throat. “Then we were suddenly at the CrashDown….me and you ….and Tess….and you were sitting inside talking to another guy. You touched him and let him kiss you and I was watching you from outside with Tess and …she said that I’d blown it. That I had a chance but that now I was going to be alone for the rest of my life.”
Her heart literally ached. Liz took a deep breath trying to ease it, but it didn’t work. Max’s pain was a living thing inside the both of them. The barriers between them were gone as he let her into his deepest darkest place. She felt as he talked about his dream, how his body reacted when touching her and how he battled those ravenous feelings of desire, hating the need for control, but not knowing how to stop it. She felt his deep fear of losing her to someone who wasn’t emotionally scarred and helplessly needy.
“That isn’t….all I dream about,” Max continued after a moment. He started talking again and Liz listened, horrified…angry….sorrowful as he told her the nightmares that plagued his sleep. Dreams of being tortured, of watching people that he loved being tortured, dreams of watching Zan die over and over. As she listened, a theme began to immerge, obvious to her, but not apparently to him.
In the dreams, he was always helpless. Being manipulated or forced to do something or watch something that he had no control over. Whether it was him physically or just the events happening to him or someone he loved, Liz could tell through his words and through his feelings as he spoke that he knew that if he could just be better or stronger, that these things wouldn’t happen. It was always his fault.
Finally, Max stopped talking, drained beyond belief, his voice a hoarse whisper. He’d bared his soul and it felt….terrifying. Terrifying but…….no just terrifying. He didn’t have the strength to feel liberated at the moment. He sat at his angel’s feet, awaiting his fate, knowing in his heart that she loved him and wouldn’t run screaming from the horror that he was, but he couldn’t quite make his head believe it.
“Max….I know how hard that was for you,” Liz’s voice was soft in his ear. “Thank you for sharing it with me.” Max felt her hand on his shoulder. “I love you, Max.” She said it knowing he needed to hear it, even though their connection was wide open. Liz slid to the ground next to him and was finally able to look into his eyes. The eyes of her soulmate. The eyes of the man who she loved more than she’d ever thought it possible to love someone. Sliding her arms around his neck, she pulled him close, squeezing her eyes shut as she held on tight.
“You don’t have to be afraid, Max. I’m not going to leave you. I promise.”
The words washed over him, and something inside him broke as Max buried his face in her hair. Layers of mire blocking his soul from the light fell away, and he gratefully heaved a small sob of relief as his spirit absorbed the love that Liz was pouring into him.
““I love you so much, Liz. I promise…I won’t ever shut you out again. You’re the only thing that matters to me.”
“I love you. I need to feel you. Don’t ever do that again.”
Their words jumbled together as they pledged their devotion, exchanging passionate, frantic kisses until they were finally able to slow down and savor the love flowing between them. Max felt Liz’s lips against his cheek, lightly kissing his closed eyes, his forehead, his chin. He lovingly returned the gifts, feathering his own lips across her upturned face in homage. When their lips finally came together again, it was a promise for the future that they would never hide from each other again.
Hearing voices coming closer, they finally broke apart, smiling at each other, and Max stood pulling Liz to her feet with him.
“Did you still want to go swimming?” he asked quietly, his arm around her waist where she leaned into him. They stared at each other, as they spoke, lost in their own world.
“Okay. Maybe Michael and Maria are there. They said they might go back.” Liz allowed Max to take her hand and they walked slowly back towards the hotel. She couldn’t get enough of just holding him and feeling his love inside her at the moment and she was almost reluctant to share their time, but they had the rest of the night.
Glancing at her, Max said, “Liz….about what happened….I mean….about me…..touching you……”
“It’s okay, Max. I….I liked it,” Liz felt her cheeks blush slightly. “I just….want us to be ready together. We’ll know when the time is right.”
“I…liked it too, but you’re right. I don’t know when I’ll be ready… but I do know that you are the only girl I want to be with. Ever.” Max stopped her so he could look into her eyes again, wanting her to see his sincerity.
“Me too, Max. Only you.” They kissed again, letting their natural passion take over and they were both breathless by the time they finally pulled apart.
Tucking Liz’s hand in his elbow, Max led her up the beach to their hotel. When they reached the pool, there was no sign of Maria or Michael or even Jesse and Isabel. Deciding to swim anyway, they took off their outer clothes and entered the water.
Max immediately pulled Liz into his arms and floated slowly around the pool, holding her. There weren’t many people and it was warm and intimate as they faced each other, staring into each other’s eyes, just lovingly tracing the other’s features. It was a renewal of their bond, an intimate sharing of their feelings that didn’t need words. Making it to the waterfall, Max brought Liz’s slim body closer, leaning in for a kiss, when he saw Michael out of the corner of his eye, come onto the deck and drop heavily into a chair, his head in his hands.
“Michael’s here…without Maria,” he said to Liz, disengaging their intimate contact. They swam to the other side of the pool and got out.
“Where’s Maria?” Liz asked, accepting a towel from Max.
“Upstairs,” Michael said dully. Max and Liz looked at each other and Max nodded silently as Liz indicated she was going up to find out what was going on. With one last kiss, a promise for later, Liz hurried into the cool interior of the hotel, shivering at the change in temperature. When she finally made it to the room, she entered and found Maria lying on the bed, her arms wrapped around a pillow, tears coursing silently down her cheeks.
“Maria, what’s wrong? Did Michael do something?” Liz asked as she sat on the edge of the bed.
“You could say that,” Maria answered, sniffing back tears.
“Tell me what happened.”
“Nothing happened. We had a fight and I told him to get out.”
“Maria,” Liz said in concern. “Tell me what’s going on. I’ve seen you PMSing before and this isn’t it.
Maria just shook her head and turned away, but Liz pulled her back around.
“Come on, Maria. This isn’t like you. What is going on?”
Silence reigned for a moment before Liz heard Maria’s breath come out in a shuddering sigh and her friend finally sat up and faced her, eyes red rimmed and puffy, fear and uncertainty clouding her features.
“I think….I think….I might be pregnant.”
TBC....
Last edited by sylvia37 on Thu Jun 26, 2003 5:12 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Lisa: Do we have any food that wasn't brutally slaughtered?
Homer: Well, I think the veal died of loneliness.
Homer: Well, I think the veal died of loneliness.
Wow, can you believe it? I actually finished sooner than I thought. Hope you all like the results. Let me know. You've been so great with your feedback and comments. I love hearing from you. So do we all remember where we left off?
Everything to You Part 54
Liz sat motionless after Maria’s statement, her mouth dropping open, no sound emerging. Finally, she blinked.
“How….I mean….why….” Clearing her throat, Liz tried again. “Why do think you might be pregnant?”
“Because,” Maria said, still trying to suppress tears of anxiety. “I’m late.”
“How late?”
“Almost a week, and I’ve never been this late before.”
“You and Michael are using The Pill, right?” Maria nodded.
“So it isn’t very likely. Is that the only reason you think so?”
“Well….yeah. I mean….The Pill’s not 100% and I told you, I’ve never been this late before. A day or two at the most.”
Liz nodded, feeling anxious for her friend. “Have you said anything to Michael? I mean.… is that why you guys are fighting?”
Maria shook her head. “I just….he hasn’t done anything wrong. I’ve just been….such a bitch to him.” Tears started flowing again, and Liz put her arms around her hating to see her hurting.
“I think you have to tell him, Maria.” Liz pulled back. “Hey, and maybe he’ll be able to tell right away…you know…if there is a baby…he’ll be able to connect…or something.”
Maria wiped at her tears, sniffing as she nodded. “You’re right. I have to tell him. So he can start looking for a new place to live before my Mother comes looking for him.” Maria managed a small smile that didn’t quite reach her frightened eyes.
“I’ll go get him and then Max and I will go to that drug store we saw around the corner and get you a test. Is it okay if I tell Max?”
“Yeah. It’s not like I can keep it a secret, if it’s true. Tess’s pregnancy only lasted a month. We have no idea how long it would be for one of us.” Maria’s eyes darkened in fear as all kinds of horrible scenarios went through her mind. “What if I get as big as a house a month from now? How will I explain that to my Mother? Oh God….I think I’m going to be sick. Oh no…that’s bad isn’t it? I’m having morning sickness and it’s the middle of the night. Is that some kind of alien thing?” Maria got up to pace and suddenly turned back to Liz, her eyes wide with panic. “What if it has Michael’s personality? Oh God what if it has Michael’s hair….”
“Maria! Maria stop! Just stop it, okay? We don’t know anything yet. Let’s not panic until there’s something to panic about.” Liz had hold of Maria’s shoulders prepared to shake her into calmness if necessary, but Maria pulled it together and nodded shakily.
“Okay, okay. I’m calm. I wish I still had that Cedar Oil sometimes, you know? It really didn’t make you calmer, but I think it had some hallucinogenic properties.”
Liz shook her head. “I’m going, okay? Are you going to be all right until Michael comes?”
“Yeah, just don’t….don’t tell him. I’ll do it.”
“I wasn’t.” Liz hugged her one more time. “I love you and we’ll be okay no matter what happens.”
Maria nodded and watched Liz leave before taking a deep breath and lying back down on the bed, staring at the ceiling. She put her hands gingerly on her stomach, trying to see if she felt something, but there was nothing. Sighing, she ran her hands through her hair.
“Oh well. If you’re in there baby, be prepared because with me and Michael as your parents, I see years of therapy in your future.”
**************************
“I’ve seen her PMSing before Maxwell. This isn’t it,” Michael was saying to Max, unconsciously mimicking Liz’s statement to Maria.
“That’s what she told Liz. What do you think it is?” Max asked.
“Hell if I know. One minute we were walking on the beach, talking, everything’s fine. The next thing I know, I start kissing her and she blows a gasket. Tells me I’m a pig and that sex is all I want from her, blah blah blah, irresponsible this, always thinking with my dick that. I swear, all I did was kiss her. I didn’t even cop a feel.”
Liz walked up, and hearing Michael’s last statement, resisted the urge to smack him in the head. “Hey,” she said getting their attention.
“Let me guess. I’m sleeping with Max tonight.” Max looked at Michael askance and Michael frowned at him. “So to speak,” he amended.
“Maria wants to see you,” Liz said, ignoring Michael’s comment. “And be nice. She’s…..stressing.”
“Stressing? What the f…?”
“Just go upstairs,” Liz cut him off, exasperated. “She’ll tell you.”
Michael sighed and heaved himself up from the lawn chair to stomp off in the direction of the hotel.
After he’d disappeared, Liz sat next to Max on the lawn chair Michael just vacated. Seeing her worried expression, Max took her hand. “What’s going on? What did Maria say?”
Liz looked down at their clasped hands, heaving a sigh. “She thinks she might be pregnant.”
Max’s expression reflected the same shock Liz felt earlier when Maria broke the news. “Did she…why does she think…..”
“She’s late.”
“Oh,” Max said. He was at a loss, feeling several things all at once.
“She’s freaking out for obvious reasons. Not only the possibility of being a pregnant teenage mother, but being the pregnant teenage mother of a half -alien baby.” Liz looked at Max, seeing his brow crinkled with worry. “I told her we would go get her a test from the drugstore.” Getting up from the chair, Liz watched Max nod distractedly, and they quickly walked through the hotel to the front door and outside.
After walking for a moment, Liz glanced at Max, who was unusually quiet. “Are you okay? You’re not saying much.”
“I’m sorry,” Max apologized, squeezing the hand he was holding as they walked. “I’m just…I was thinking about….I was thinking about how we could protect everyone if it’s true.” He dropped his gaze a little guiltily. “I mean…I was thinking about Michael and Maria’s feelings too but….I just…couldn’t help thinking about how we would protect Maria until the baby was born, you know, if the pregnancy didn’t last as long as normal or…or if something…you know…alien happened during it or how we were going to help her deliver….” Max stopped when he saw Liz smiling. “What?”
“You. You’re saying all that apologetically like it’s bad that you were already trying to think of ways to protect everyone. That’s who you are, Max and I love that about you.” Her smile turned more loving. “Among other things.”
They arrived at the drugstore and quickly found the aisle where the pregnancy tests were. After looking at several of them, they chose the one that seemed easiest, that could be taken at any time of the day or night. As they walked out of the store, Liz’s thoughts turned to the things Max had brought up. Like, how were they going to keep it a secret and Maria couldn’t go to a doctor so how were they going to make sure everything was okay and that the baby would be delivered safely?
“I never gave this much thought before, but it really is going to be just us on our own if one of us has a baby, isn’t it? I mean, we can’t go to a doctor because we won’t have any idea of what they might find.”
She thought about Tess. Max had connected with the baby, but it was obvious that she’d been mindwarping him into believing that Zan couldn’t survive in earth’s atmosphere since he’d died from underdevelopment, not the atmosphere. But hopefully with his ability to “feel” the problems when he healed someone, Max would be able to tell if something was wrong with an alien pregnancy. When she said as much to Max, he paled a little and suddenly, she could feel his emotions more acutely.
He’d always felt responsible for the people who knew their secret, and he was already feeling the burden of protecting Maria and Michael from detection, but her comments added a new layer to the weight of responsibility. Making sure Maria and the baby or for that matter, any of the women in their group, were healthy during pregnancy. Suddenly, on top of being a leader and a protector, he ha d to be a doctor too. Since they were touching, a picture of him leaning over little Zan as he tried to heal him flashed through her mind from Max and Liz stopped him, feeling his fear and uncertainty.
“Don’t Max. Don’t start thinking worse case scenario until we know anything for sure, okay? And whatever happens, you’re not alone. We’ll protect Maria and her baby and everything will be fine.”
Max pulled her into a quick hug. “You’re right. Let’s get this test to her.”
They hurried back towards the hotel.
**********************
Michael knocked on the door to Maria’s room and waited impatiently for her to open the door. When she finally did, he saw the tear tracks on her face and bit back the sarcastic comment poised on his tongue. He followed her into the bedroom and waited for her to speak, watching her as she sat on the bed, hands clasped in her lap.
“I’m sorry I’ve been such a bitch lately,” Maria started by saying, trying to quell the nervous twisting in her stomach. “I’ve just had a lot on my mind.” She knew she was stalling but she couldn’t quite get the words to come out.
“Like what?” Michael wanted to know. He could see that she was nervous, but couldn’t see any reason for it. “What did I do this time?”
“Nothing,” Maria shook her head. “I mean, you did something but…..I mean….shit……”Maria put her head in her hands as Michael looked at her like she’d lost her mind. Finally taking a deep breath, she looked up.
“I have something to tell you. I’m…..I’m….late.”
“Late? Late for what?” Michael asked blankly.
Maria sighed in exasperation. “My period, Michael. My period is late.”
Blinking in realization, Michael’s face paled feeling like he’d been punched in the stomach. Seeing his reaction, Maria got up from the bed and paced. She felt new tears forming but she ruthlessly held them back. “I really need you not to be an asshole right now, so if you can’t say anything helpful or…or supportive then ….then…..” Her voice was shaking now, and she stopped talking to swallow and glance back at her quiet boyfriend. He was standing indecisively watching her. His mouth was open but nothing was coming out and Maria really couldn’t tell what he was thinking. Seeing her staring at him, Michael finally closed his mouth and swallowed to ease the sudden dryness in his throat.
“How late?” He finally asked.
“Almost a week.” When he didn’t say anything, Maria looked away. “Liz and Max went to get a test.” The tears were trying hard to break free and she put her hand to her eyes, trying to ease the tightness.
Michael stood for another moment, not really knowing what to say or do, but as he watched Maria turn away, he saw the hurt distress on her face and his brain finally kicked in. His baby. She might be having his baby, and he was standing there like a jerk.
Maria jumped when she felt Michael’s arms come around her, and the tears finally fell. Turning, she buried her face in his chest, crying as a small part of the burden she’d been carrying shifted from her shoulders to his. Finally after a moment, Michael eased her away from him and moved his hand towards her abdomen.
Looking at her for permission, Maria nodded shakily and they both looked down as his hand gently covered her stomach. Concentrating, Michael tried to see if he could connect or feel anything.
“Well?” Maria asked somewhat impatiently when he didn’t speak or open his eyes for several moments.
Sighing, Michael opened his eyes and removed his hand. “Nothing. I didn’t feel anything. But that doesn’t mean……I mean…you know my powers aren’t……”
“I know. It’s okay. We’ll just have to wait for them to get back with the test. But that’s good right? That you didn’t feel anything. Maybe that means there isn’t anything there to feel.” Maria looked at him uncertainly, and Michael nodded quickly, dropping his eyes away from hers. To be honest, he wasn’t sure how he felt. Yes he was bowled over by the shock of it and God knew, they didn’t need anything else to worry about, with Max still reeling from the trauma of being victimized by Tess and losing his son, and the constant threat of discovery always hanging over their heads, but for a second before he’d touched Maria’s abdomen, he’d actually been breathless with anticipation. Not exactly hoping but…
“What’s going on in that shag covered skull of yours, Michael?” Maria had been staring at the strange emotions running over Michael’s face. “And don’t say nothing because I know when you’re lying.”
“Nothing…I mean…” he closed his eyes and drew a breath as Maria frowned at him in irritation. “Just….just…if it’s true then….don’t…don’t get rid of it. I mean….”
“You mean you want me to keep our baby….if there is one,” Maria clarified, relieved and a little surprised.
Michael nodded, looking away from her scrutiny. He knew it was weird, considering how he’d reacted when Max told him that day on the basketball court that Tess was pregnant. But now that it was his own child and having seen little Zan’s body on that table in that closet….so cold…so alone….. he was sorry now that he’d ever suggested that to Max. To kill his child before it even had a chance at life.
“Talk to me, Michael,” Maria said, still watching the emotions running across his face. “I need you to talk to me because this involves both of us and I can’t do it alone. You can’t expect me to read your mind. This is too important.”
“I know that…..I know it is. Just…give me a minute.”
Trying to put his feelings into words, Michael finally gave up after a moment of Maria staring at him and reached out to take her face in his hands and gaze at her in concentration. Maria stared back, almost jumping as their connection opened. She saw flashes of him coming out of his pod and felt his fear as he stood back and watched from the shadows as the Evans took Max and Isabel away in their car on the side of that desert road. She felt his loneliness and anger as he was shifted from one foster home to another, finally settling in with Hank only to find out that the person he’d hoped would love and take care of him, really only wanted someone to clean and take his anger out on. She saw flashes of the first time he’d seen Isabel and Max after their separation and how relieved he’d been to find them, only to have that relief be tempered by jealousy as he saw how close they were and how much their new family loved them. She saw herself as he saw her…first as a threat and an irritation….then as a temptation….and then as the love of his life as he’d let her into his lonely world.
And finally, Maria saw that although he was afraid and worried about this new development, the thought of having a baby with her….of finally having the family he’d always wanted…filled him with tentative hope…and happiness.
When she finally felt their connection fade, Maria looked at him in wonder before pulling him forward for her kiss. “I love you, Michael. And I’ll love our baby…even if it does have your hair.”
Michael fought back the smile that threatened to make a shambles of his reputation for never looking happy. “I’ll feel the same way even if it has your mouth.”
Pulling back to retort, Maria’s words were cut off by a knock on the door. Smoothing her clothes, Maria answered it, finding an anxious Max and Liz on the other side of the door, accompanied by an equally anxious Isabel and Jesse.
“Uh….they were looking for us when we got back and we told them about…you know…” Liz said as Maria stepped aside to let everyone in.
“It’s okay.”
Isabel hugged Michael. “You okay?”
“Yeah….yeah.” He said pulling away. “So….where’s the test?”
“Right here,” Max said, pulling it from the bag and handing it to Maria. She looked at the package and glanced nervously at Michael, then Liz. Taking the hint, Liz touched her arm.
“We’ll wait down by the pool.” Giving her one last reassuring look, Liz moved to the door and the others followed her.
After they’d left, Maria stared down at the box her hands, seeing them tremble.
“Do you need….me to help….or something?” Michael asked.
“No….I think I can handle peeing on a stick,” Maria answered with more flippancy then she was feeling. Taking a deep breath, she went into the bathroom and shut the door.
Michael stared after her, his stomach dancing with nervous anxiety. He sat down on the bed to wait.
*******************************
Jesse had gone to the bar to see about getting them all something to drink and Max watched Isabel wander around the deck of the pool as he sat by Liz’s side. Seeing where he was looking Liz said, “Why don’t you go talk to Isabel?” Max looked at her for a moment before nodding and getting up from the lawn chair.
Approaching his sister, he shoved his hands into his pockets. “Hey.”
Turning in surprise at the sound of his voice, Isabel gave him a small nervous smile that didn’t reach her eyes. “Hey.”
“So…..” Max said.
“Yeah….so…” Isabel repeated. They stared at each other for a moment before identical smiles curved their lips and they silently agreed to sit down.
“I’m so nervous for Michael,” Isabel said, clasping her hands in her lap as she stared anxiously at the building. “I mean, I’m nervous for Maria too but….God….what if this is true, Max.” Isabel turned her worried gaze on her brother. “What are we going to do? I’m leaving in a few weeks and you and Michael will have to deal with this on your own. Maybe I can tell Jesse I can’t leave. I mean….”
“No,” Max said, shaking his head. “Don’t do that, Isabel. Michael and I can handle it. If we need you, we’ll call.” As much as he was going to miss her, Max wanted Isabel to have the normal life she’d always wanted. She and Jesse were moving to Boston and she was going to continue school and have a new home to decorate and eventually, hopefully have a career. She deserved that. They all did.
“I can come back when it’s due. You might need my help. I don’t want you to think that just because I’m moving away that I won’t be here for you if you need me.” Isabel looked at her brother, seeing the affection and support he’d always given her. It brought home to her just how badly she’d let her anger cloud her judgement when he’d reacted so negatively to her wanting to go to college away from Roswell. In retrospect, she knew that her timing had been bad to want to leave right after Alex’s funeral and everything that was going on, but Max’s reaction due to Tess’s manipulations, had been so uncharacteristic, she felt the guilt all over again about not having realized what was going on. He might not have wanted her to leave, but threatening her was not his way.
“I know you will,” Max said in answer to her statement. “I’ll miss you.” Max glanced at her as she clasped his hand. “And you owe me big time for leaving me here to deal with Mom.” He grimaced as he thought about how his mother was already having bouts of crying over her only daughter moving across the country. Max looked over at Liz talking with Jesse, and as always, he had trouble pulling his eyes away from her petite figure, more tempting then usual in her bikini covered only by the thin jacket she wore.
“Have you and Jesse talked about children?”
Isabel nodded. “We decided to wait a while. He’s just getting started in his career and I want to finish school first. Of course, we are married so there’s always the possibility of a surprise.” Isabel blushed slightly at discussing the implications of her sex life with her brother. “We talked a little about what might be different about my pregnancy versus someone normal, but we’re going to cross that bridge when we come to it.”
“You know I’ll be there to help, if you need it. I mean,” Max felt his own face darken slightly. “You know what I mean.” His gaze followed Liz as she sat on a lawn chair still talking with Jesse.
“I know what you mean,” Isabel smiled, then seeing where his gaze wandered, rolled her eyes slightly at his sudden lack of attention. “So…you and Liz seem to be doing okay. She told me she got accepted to Northwestern. Have you decided what you’re going to do yet?”
Max glanced at his sister’s questioning gaze, before scrubbing at his eyes in tiredness. This day was definitely catching up with him. Actually, the whole week was catching up with him. “We haven’t really talked about it yet. I mean….I know she wants me to come with her. We just haven’t……”
Max trailed off as he spotted Michael and Maria coming through the glass doors out onto the pool deck. Their hands were clasped and he struggled to discern the verdict from their expressions, but couldn’t. He and Liz met them halfway with Isabel and Jesse coming up behind. He felt Liz slip her hand into his, and he clasped it gratefully.
“So…..” Liz finally said as Michael and Maria glanced at each other. Maria shook her head.
“It was negative.” She smiled a little tremulously at the relieved sighs that seemed to come from everyone, but couldn’t keep the small ache she felt from darkening her eyes. Liz looked at her before reaching out to hug her, recognizing the relief and disappointment her friend was feeling. She didn’t say anything, but she knew Maria felt her sympathy.
Max looked at Michael’s closed expression, unable to figure out if he was happy or sad, but finally decided he must be a little of both. “Did you try to connect…you know….just to be sure?”
Michael nodded. “Yeah. I didn’t get anything.”
Glancing at Liz, Max offered, “Do you want me to try?” He didn’t want to make either of them uncomfortable, but they needed to 100% positive. Pregnancy tests could be wrong.
Michael looked down at Maria, feeling a combination of inadequacy and resignation as he let her decide. Her eyes told him that she loved him even as she nodded at Max. Looking around to make sure they were alone, Max laid his hand on her stomach and concentrated. A small smile of relief curled his lips as he shook his head. “Nothing.”
The break in tension was palpable and everyone felt as if a weight had been lifted from their shoulders. Maria took Michael’s hand again. “Well, now that I’ve managed to almost kill everybody’s weekend and make this trip all about me, what do you say we call it a night. We’ll meet you guys for breakfast and then we’ll go to the beach.”
Everyone agreed and Maria pulled Liz aside for a moment. “Do you have a problem sharing with Max tonight?”
“You know I don’t. You and Michael need to be alone. And Maria,” Liz said, looking at her friend, “I’m sorry.”
Maria shook her head. “I know. It’s crazy to be sorry that I’m not pregnant at 18. And I’m not really, it just that….” She shook her head again, unable to explain the mixture of relief and disappointment.
“I understand,” Liz said.
Maria glanced over at Michael. “Michael was so sweet. You should have seen him, Liz.” She stopped talking to look at her friend, suddenly realizing that she hadn’t even asked what she and Max had been doing before her problems had interrupted them. “I’m really sorry I ruined your night. Were you and Max having a good time? I mean, before I went all “after school special” on you?”
Liz laughed. “It started out kind of rough, but then we did, actually. I’ll have to tell you about it later.”
The two girls figured out the logistics of getting their stuff, and then joined the others and everyone said goodnight. A little while later, Liz and Max settled into their room. Max showered first then lay down on the bed to wait for Liz. Flipping channels, he yawned feeling tired but good. His stupid mistake with Liz earlier had led to him being able to open up a little more, a crisis had been averted and now he was getting to spend the night with Liz in his arms and wake up with her in the morning. Yawning again, Max settled more into his pillow, wondering how 75 channels of TV could be so completely boring.
Liz, in the mean time, finished her shower and wondered as she brushed her teeth if there was going to be any awkwardness between them since the episode out at the beach earlier. She thought they’d come to an understanding about where they stood with each other, but remembering the feel of Max’s hands on her body, she shivered. She hoped fervently that they could work their way through Max’s problems quickly because she wanted to be with him. In every way possible. Even though tonight had been a bust, the little bit of heaven that Max showed her before she realized that he was holding himself back, proved to her that what Madam Vivian had said so long ago was true. She would not be left wanting.
Finishing her routine, Liz took a deep breath and opened the bathroom door, only to find a sleeping Max looking cute and rumpled, lying on his back with the TV remote dangling from his fingers, still on top of the covers in his boxers and tee shirt. She smiled at the typical man picture he made and removed the remote from his hand, turning off the TV. Sliding the covers out from beneath his prone form, she got in bed, covering them both before turning out the light. Max shifted in his sleep to his side and Liz turned with her back to him, pressing close, smiling when he naturally reached out to pull her snugly against him. This was where she belonged. Pressing a kiss against the hand that held her close, Liz let herself relax and drift to sleep.
TBC...........
Everything to You Part 54
Liz sat motionless after Maria’s statement, her mouth dropping open, no sound emerging. Finally, she blinked.
“How….I mean….why….” Clearing her throat, Liz tried again. “Why do think you might be pregnant?”
“Because,” Maria said, still trying to suppress tears of anxiety. “I’m late.”
“How late?”
“Almost a week, and I’ve never been this late before.”
“You and Michael are using The Pill, right?” Maria nodded.
“So it isn’t very likely. Is that the only reason you think so?”
“Well….yeah. I mean….The Pill’s not 100% and I told you, I’ve never been this late before. A day or two at the most.”
Liz nodded, feeling anxious for her friend. “Have you said anything to Michael? I mean.… is that why you guys are fighting?”
Maria shook her head. “I just….he hasn’t done anything wrong. I’ve just been….such a bitch to him.” Tears started flowing again, and Liz put her arms around her hating to see her hurting.
“I think you have to tell him, Maria.” Liz pulled back. “Hey, and maybe he’ll be able to tell right away…you know…if there is a baby…he’ll be able to connect…or something.”
Maria wiped at her tears, sniffing as she nodded. “You’re right. I have to tell him. So he can start looking for a new place to live before my Mother comes looking for him.” Maria managed a small smile that didn’t quite reach her frightened eyes.
“I’ll go get him and then Max and I will go to that drug store we saw around the corner and get you a test. Is it okay if I tell Max?”
“Yeah. It’s not like I can keep it a secret, if it’s true. Tess’s pregnancy only lasted a month. We have no idea how long it would be for one of us.” Maria’s eyes darkened in fear as all kinds of horrible scenarios went through her mind. “What if I get as big as a house a month from now? How will I explain that to my Mother? Oh God….I think I’m going to be sick. Oh no…that’s bad isn’t it? I’m having morning sickness and it’s the middle of the night. Is that some kind of alien thing?” Maria got up to pace and suddenly turned back to Liz, her eyes wide with panic. “What if it has Michael’s personality? Oh God what if it has Michael’s hair….”
“Maria! Maria stop! Just stop it, okay? We don’t know anything yet. Let’s not panic until there’s something to panic about.” Liz had hold of Maria’s shoulders prepared to shake her into calmness if necessary, but Maria pulled it together and nodded shakily.
“Okay, okay. I’m calm. I wish I still had that Cedar Oil sometimes, you know? It really didn’t make you calmer, but I think it had some hallucinogenic properties.”
Liz shook her head. “I’m going, okay? Are you going to be all right until Michael comes?”
“Yeah, just don’t….don’t tell him. I’ll do it.”
“I wasn’t.” Liz hugged her one more time. “I love you and we’ll be okay no matter what happens.”
Maria nodded and watched Liz leave before taking a deep breath and lying back down on the bed, staring at the ceiling. She put her hands gingerly on her stomach, trying to see if she felt something, but there was nothing. Sighing, she ran her hands through her hair.
“Oh well. If you’re in there baby, be prepared because with me and Michael as your parents, I see years of therapy in your future.”
**************************
“I’ve seen her PMSing before Maxwell. This isn’t it,” Michael was saying to Max, unconsciously mimicking Liz’s statement to Maria.
“That’s what she told Liz. What do you think it is?” Max asked.
“Hell if I know. One minute we were walking on the beach, talking, everything’s fine. The next thing I know, I start kissing her and she blows a gasket. Tells me I’m a pig and that sex is all I want from her, blah blah blah, irresponsible this, always thinking with my dick that. I swear, all I did was kiss her. I didn’t even cop a feel.”
Liz walked up, and hearing Michael’s last statement, resisted the urge to smack him in the head. “Hey,” she said getting their attention.
“Let me guess. I’m sleeping with Max tonight.” Max looked at Michael askance and Michael frowned at him. “So to speak,” he amended.
“Maria wants to see you,” Liz said, ignoring Michael’s comment. “And be nice. She’s…..stressing.”
“Stressing? What the f…?”
“Just go upstairs,” Liz cut him off, exasperated. “She’ll tell you.”
Michael sighed and heaved himself up from the lawn chair to stomp off in the direction of the hotel.
After he’d disappeared, Liz sat next to Max on the lawn chair Michael just vacated. Seeing her worried expression, Max took her hand. “What’s going on? What did Maria say?”
Liz looked down at their clasped hands, heaving a sigh. “She thinks she might be pregnant.”
Max’s expression reflected the same shock Liz felt earlier when Maria broke the news. “Did she…why does she think…..”
“She’s late.”
“Oh,” Max said. He was at a loss, feeling several things all at once.
“She’s freaking out for obvious reasons. Not only the possibility of being a pregnant teenage mother, but being the pregnant teenage mother of a half -alien baby.” Liz looked at Max, seeing his brow crinkled with worry. “I told her we would go get her a test from the drugstore.” Getting up from the chair, Liz watched Max nod distractedly, and they quickly walked through the hotel to the front door and outside.
After walking for a moment, Liz glanced at Max, who was unusually quiet. “Are you okay? You’re not saying much.”
“I’m sorry,” Max apologized, squeezing the hand he was holding as they walked. “I’m just…I was thinking about….I was thinking about how we could protect everyone if it’s true.” He dropped his gaze a little guiltily. “I mean…I was thinking about Michael and Maria’s feelings too but….I just…couldn’t help thinking about how we would protect Maria until the baby was born, you know, if the pregnancy didn’t last as long as normal or…or if something…you know…alien happened during it or how we were going to help her deliver….” Max stopped when he saw Liz smiling. “What?”
“You. You’re saying all that apologetically like it’s bad that you were already trying to think of ways to protect everyone. That’s who you are, Max and I love that about you.” Her smile turned more loving. “Among other things.”
They arrived at the drugstore and quickly found the aisle where the pregnancy tests were. After looking at several of them, they chose the one that seemed easiest, that could be taken at any time of the day or night. As they walked out of the store, Liz’s thoughts turned to the things Max had brought up. Like, how were they going to keep it a secret and Maria couldn’t go to a doctor so how were they going to make sure everything was okay and that the baby would be delivered safely?
“I never gave this much thought before, but it really is going to be just us on our own if one of us has a baby, isn’t it? I mean, we can’t go to a doctor because we won’t have any idea of what they might find.”
She thought about Tess. Max had connected with the baby, but it was obvious that she’d been mindwarping him into believing that Zan couldn’t survive in earth’s atmosphere since he’d died from underdevelopment, not the atmosphere. But hopefully with his ability to “feel” the problems when he healed someone, Max would be able to tell if something was wrong with an alien pregnancy. When she said as much to Max, he paled a little and suddenly, she could feel his emotions more acutely.
He’d always felt responsible for the people who knew their secret, and he was already feeling the burden of protecting Maria and Michael from detection, but her comments added a new layer to the weight of responsibility. Making sure Maria and the baby or for that matter, any of the women in their group, were healthy during pregnancy. Suddenly, on top of being a leader and a protector, he ha d to be a doctor too. Since they were touching, a picture of him leaning over little Zan as he tried to heal him flashed through her mind from Max and Liz stopped him, feeling his fear and uncertainty.
“Don’t Max. Don’t start thinking worse case scenario until we know anything for sure, okay? And whatever happens, you’re not alone. We’ll protect Maria and her baby and everything will be fine.”
Max pulled her into a quick hug. “You’re right. Let’s get this test to her.”
They hurried back towards the hotel.
**********************
Michael knocked on the door to Maria’s room and waited impatiently for her to open the door. When she finally did, he saw the tear tracks on her face and bit back the sarcastic comment poised on his tongue. He followed her into the bedroom and waited for her to speak, watching her as she sat on the bed, hands clasped in her lap.
“I’m sorry I’ve been such a bitch lately,” Maria started by saying, trying to quell the nervous twisting in her stomach. “I’ve just had a lot on my mind.” She knew she was stalling but she couldn’t quite get the words to come out.
“Like what?” Michael wanted to know. He could see that she was nervous, but couldn’t see any reason for it. “What did I do this time?”
“Nothing,” Maria shook her head. “I mean, you did something but…..I mean….shit……”Maria put her head in her hands as Michael looked at her like she’d lost her mind. Finally taking a deep breath, she looked up.
“I have something to tell you. I’m…..I’m….late.”
“Late? Late for what?” Michael asked blankly.
Maria sighed in exasperation. “My period, Michael. My period is late.”
Blinking in realization, Michael’s face paled feeling like he’d been punched in the stomach. Seeing his reaction, Maria got up from the bed and paced. She felt new tears forming but she ruthlessly held them back. “I really need you not to be an asshole right now, so if you can’t say anything helpful or…or supportive then ….then…..” Her voice was shaking now, and she stopped talking to swallow and glance back at her quiet boyfriend. He was standing indecisively watching her. His mouth was open but nothing was coming out and Maria really couldn’t tell what he was thinking. Seeing her staring at him, Michael finally closed his mouth and swallowed to ease the sudden dryness in his throat.
“How late?” He finally asked.
“Almost a week.” When he didn’t say anything, Maria looked away. “Liz and Max went to get a test.” The tears were trying hard to break free and she put her hand to her eyes, trying to ease the tightness.
Michael stood for another moment, not really knowing what to say or do, but as he watched Maria turn away, he saw the hurt distress on her face and his brain finally kicked in. His baby. She might be having his baby, and he was standing there like a jerk.
Maria jumped when she felt Michael’s arms come around her, and the tears finally fell. Turning, she buried her face in his chest, crying as a small part of the burden she’d been carrying shifted from her shoulders to his. Finally after a moment, Michael eased her away from him and moved his hand towards her abdomen.
Looking at her for permission, Maria nodded shakily and they both looked down as his hand gently covered her stomach. Concentrating, Michael tried to see if he could connect or feel anything.
“Well?” Maria asked somewhat impatiently when he didn’t speak or open his eyes for several moments.
Sighing, Michael opened his eyes and removed his hand. “Nothing. I didn’t feel anything. But that doesn’t mean……I mean…you know my powers aren’t……”
“I know. It’s okay. We’ll just have to wait for them to get back with the test. But that’s good right? That you didn’t feel anything. Maybe that means there isn’t anything there to feel.” Maria looked at him uncertainly, and Michael nodded quickly, dropping his eyes away from hers. To be honest, he wasn’t sure how he felt. Yes he was bowled over by the shock of it and God knew, they didn’t need anything else to worry about, with Max still reeling from the trauma of being victimized by Tess and losing his son, and the constant threat of discovery always hanging over their heads, but for a second before he’d touched Maria’s abdomen, he’d actually been breathless with anticipation. Not exactly hoping but…
“What’s going on in that shag covered skull of yours, Michael?” Maria had been staring at the strange emotions running over Michael’s face. “And don’t say nothing because I know when you’re lying.”
“Nothing…I mean…” he closed his eyes and drew a breath as Maria frowned at him in irritation. “Just….just…if it’s true then….don’t…don’t get rid of it. I mean….”
“You mean you want me to keep our baby….if there is one,” Maria clarified, relieved and a little surprised.
Michael nodded, looking away from her scrutiny. He knew it was weird, considering how he’d reacted when Max told him that day on the basketball court that Tess was pregnant. But now that it was his own child and having seen little Zan’s body on that table in that closet….so cold…so alone….. he was sorry now that he’d ever suggested that to Max. To kill his child before it even had a chance at life.
“Talk to me, Michael,” Maria said, still watching the emotions running across his face. “I need you to talk to me because this involves both of us and I can’t do it alone. You can’t expect me to read your mind. This is too important.”
“I know that…..I know it is. Just…give me a minute.”
Trying to put his feelings into words, Michael finally gave up after a moment of Maria staring at him and reached out to take her face in his hands and gaze at her in concentration. Maria stared back, almost jumping as their connection opened. She saw flashes of him coming out of his pod and felt his fear as he stood back and watched from the shadows as the Evans took Max and Isabel away in their car on the side of that desert road. She felt his loneliness and anger as he was shifted from one foster home to another, finally settling in with Hank only to find out that the person he’d hoped would love and take care of him, really only wanted someone to clean and take his anger out on. She saw flashes of the first time he’d seen Isabel and Max after their separation and how relieved he’d been to find them, only to have that relief be tempered by jealousy as he saw how close they were and how much their new family loved them. She saw herself as he saw her…first as a threat and an irritation….then as a temptation….and then as the love of his life as he’d let her into his lonely world.
And finally, Maria saw that although he was afraid and worried about this new development, the thought of having a baby with her….of finally having the family he’d always wanted…filled him with tentative hope…and happiness.
When she finally felt their connection fade, Maria looked at him in wonder before pulling him forward for her kiss. “I love you, Michael. And I’ll love our baby…even if it does have your hair.”
Michael fought back the smile that threatened to make a shambles of his reputation for never looking happy. “I’ll feel the same way even if it has your mouth.”
Pulling back to retort, Maria’s words were cut off by a knock on the door. Smoothing her clothes, Maria answered it, finding an anxious Max and Liz on the other side of the door, accompanied by an equally anxious Isabel and Jesse.
“Uh….they were looking for us when we got back and we told them about…you know…” Liz said as Maria stepped aside to let everyone in.
“It’s okay.”
Isabel hugged Michael. “You okay?”
“Yeah….yeah.” He said pulling away. “So….where’s the test?”
“Right here,” Max said, pulling it from the bag and handing it to Maria. She looked at the package and glanced nervously at Michael, then Liz. Taking the hint, Liz touched her arm.
“We’ll wait down by the pool.” Giving her one last reassuring look, Liz moved to the door and the others followed her.
After they’d left, Maria stared down at the box her hands, seeing them tremble.
“Do you need….me to help….or something?” Michael asked.
“No….I think I can handle peeing on a stick,” Maria answered with more flippancy then she was feeling. Taking a deep breath, she went into the bathroom and shut the door.
Michael stared after her, his stomach dancing with nervous anxiety. He sat down on the bed to wait.
*******************************
Jesse had gone to the bar to see about getting them all something to drink and Max watched Isabel wander around the deck of the pool as he sat by Liz’s side. Seeing where he was looking Liz said, “Why don’t you go talk to Isabel?” Max looked at her for a moment before nodding and getting up from the lawn chair.
Approaching his sister, he shoved his hands into his pockets. “Hey.”
Turning in surprise at the sound of his voice, Isabel gave him a small nervous smile that didn’t reach her eyes. “Hey.”
“So…..” Max said.
“Yeah….so…” Isabel repeated. They stared at each other for a moment before identical smiles curved their lips and they silently agreed to sit down.
“I’m so nervous for Michael,” Isabel said, clasping her hands in her lap as she stared anxiously at the building. “I mean, I’m nervous for Maria too but….God….what if this is true, Max.” Isabel turned her worried gaze on her brother. “What are we going to do? I’m leaving in a few weeks and you and Michael will have to deal with this on your own. Maybe I can tell Jesse I can’t leave. I mean….”
“No,” Max said, shaking his head. “Don’t do that, Isabel. Michael and I can handle it. If we need you, we’ll call.” As much as he was going to miss her, Max wanted Isabel to have the normal life she’d always wanted. She and Jesse were moving to Boston and she was going to continue school and have a new home to decorate and eventually, hopefully have a career. She deserved that. They all did.
“I can come back when it’s due. You might need my help. I don’t want you to think that just because I’m moving away that I won’t be here for you if you need me.” Isabel looked at her brother, seeing the affection and support he’d always given her. It brought home to her just how badly she’d let her anger cloud her judgement when he’d reacted so negatively to her wanting to go to college away from Roswell. In retrospect, she knew that her timing had been bad to want to leave right after Alex’s funeral and everything that was going on, but Max’s reaction due to Tess’s manipulations, had been so uncharacteristic, she felt the guilt all over again about not having realized what was going on. He might not have wanted her to leave, but threatening her was not his way.
“I know you will,” Max said in answer to her statement. “I’ll miss you.” Max glanced at her as she clasped his hand. “And you owe me big time for leaving me here to deal with Mom.” He grimaced as he thought about how his mother was already having bouts of crying over her only daughter moving across the country. Max looked over at Liz talking with Jesse, and as always, he had trouble pulling his eyes away from her petite figure, more tempting then usual in her bikini covered only by the thin jacket she wore.
“Have you and Jesse talked about children?”
Isabel nodded. “We decided to wait a while. He’s just getting started in his career and I want to finish school first. Of course, we are married so there’s always the possibility of a surprise.” Isabel blushed slightly at discussing the implications of her sex life with her brother. “We talked a little about what might be different about my pregnancy versus someone normal, but we’re going to cross that bridge when we come to it.”
“You know I’ll be there to help, if you need it. I mean,” Max felt his own face darken slightly. “You know what I mean.” His gaze followed Liz as she sat on a lawn chair still talking with Jesse.
“I know what you mean,” Isabel smiled, then seeing where his gaze wandered, rolled her eyes slightly at his sudden lack of attention. “So…you and Liz seem to be doing okay. She told me she got accepted to Northwestern. Have you decided what you’re going to do yet?”
Max glanced at his sister’s questioning gaze, before scrubbing at his eyes in tiredness. This day was definitely catching up with him. Actually, the whole week was catching up with him. “We haven’t really talked about it yet. I mean….I know she wants me to come with her. We just haven’t……”
Max trailed off as he spotted Michael and Maria coming through the glass doors out onto the pool deck. Their hands were clasped and he struggled to discern the verdict from their expressions, but couldn’t. He and Liz met them halfway with Isabel and Jesse coming up behind. He felt Liz slip her hand into his, and he clasped it gratefully.
“So…..” Liz finally said as Michael and Maria glanced at each other. Maria shook her head.
“It was negative.” She smiled a little tremulously at the relieved sighs that seemed to come from everyone, but couldn’t keep the small ache she felt from darkening her eyes. Liz looked at her before reaching out to hug her, recognizing the relief and disappointment her friend was feeling. She didn’t say anything, but she knew Maria felt her sympathy.
Max looked at Michael’s closed expression, unable to figure out if he was happy or sad, but finally decided he must be a little of both. “Did you try to connect…you know….just to be sure?”
Michael nodded. “Yeah. I didn’t get anything.”
Glancing at Liz, Max offered, “Do you want me to try?” He didn’t want to make either of them uncomfortable, but they needed to 100% positive. Pregnancy tests could be wrong.
Michael looked down at Maria, feeling a combination of inadequacy and resignation as he let her decide. Her eyes told him that she loved him even as she nodded at Max. Looking around to make sure they were alone, Max laid his hand on her stomach and concentrated. A small smile of relief curled his lips as he shook his head. “Nothing.”
The break in tension was palpable and everyone felt as if a weight had been lifted from their shoulders. Maria took Michael’s hand again. “Well, now that I’ve managed to almost kill everybody’s weekend and make this trip all about me, what do you say we call it a night. We’ll meet you guys for breakfast and then we’ll go to the beach.”
Everyone agreed and Maria pulled Liz aside for a moment. “Do you have a problem sharing with Max tonight?”
“You know I don’t. You and Michael need to be alone. And Maria,” Liz said, looking at her friend, “I’m sorry.”
Maria shook her head. “I know. It’s crazy to be sorry that I’m not pregnant at 18. And I’m not really, it just that….” She shook her head again, unable to explain the mixture of relief and disappointment.
“I understand,” Liz said.
Maria glanced over at Michael. “Michael was so sweet. You should have seen him, Liz.” She stopped talking to look at her friend, suddenly realizing that she hadn’t even asked what she and Max had been doing before her problems had interrupted them. “I’m really sorry I ruined your night. Were you and Max having a good time? I mean, before I went all “after school special” on you?”
Liz laughed. “It started out kind of rough, but then we did, actually. I’ll have to tell you about it later.”
The two girls figured out the logistics of getting their stuff, and then joined the others and everyone said goodnight. A little while later, Liz and Max settled into their room. Max showered first then lay down on the bed to wait for Liz. Flipping channels, he yawned feeling tired but good. His stupid mistake with Liz earlier had led to him being able to open up a little more, a crisis had been averted and now he was getting to spend the night with Liz in his arms and wake up with her in the morning. Yawning again, Max settled more into his pillow, wondering how 75 channels of TV could be so completely boring.
Liz, in the mean time, finished her shower and wondered as she brushed her teeth if there was going to be any awkwardness between them since the episode out at the beach earlier. She thought they’d come to an understanding about where they stood with each other, but remembering the feel of Max’s hands on her body, she shivered. She hoped fervently that they could work their way through Max’s problems quickly because she wanted to be with him. In every way possible. Even though tonight had been a bust, the little bit of heaven that Max showed her before she realized that he was holding himself back, proved to her that what Madam Vivian had said so long ago was true. She would not be left wanting.
Finishing her routine, Liz took a deep breath and opened the bathroom door, only to find a sleeping Max looking cute and rumpled, lying on his back with the TV remote dangling from his fingers, still on top of the covers in his boxers and tee shirt. She smiled at the typical man picture he made and removed the remote from his hand, turning off the TV. Sliding the covers out from beneath his prone form, she got in bed, covering them both before turning out the light. Max shifted in his sleep to his side and Liz turned with her back to him, pressing close, smiling when he naturally reached out to pull her snugly against him. This was where she belonged. Pressing a kiss against the hand that held her close, Liz let herself relax and drift to sleep.
TBC...........
Lisa: Do we have any food that wasn't brutally slaughtered?
Homer: Well, I think the veal died of loneliness.
Homer: Well, I think the veal died of loneliness.
Okay, I'm a big liar. Actually, I just happened to have some extra time the last two days plus I had a breakthrough on the part that was giving me trouble. Of course if this part sucks then I know I didn't quite get over it. Either way, let me know.
Thanks for everything you guys. To all of you who nominated me for the awards and for just reading and letting me know you're out there with me. I love you guys.
Just kidding. Not about the love but about it making me sad. Okay, enough babbling.
Everything to You Part 55
It was raining. Max stared out of the window of the CrashDown, watching as people ran to their cars and tried to keep dry. Contrary to what most people thought about New Mexico, it wasn’t always a dry place, and when it rained, it rained hard.
Max turned his gaze back to his cup of coffee. He didn’t mind the rain. It suited his mood. His eyes strayed to Liz as she finished taking care of the bill for her last table of the afternoon. He watched her smile easily at her customers, feeling his stomach rumble the way it always did when she smiled. How many times had he watched from afar as she’d laughed with her friends at school or waited on tables while he sat at his usual booth, too shy and afraid to strike up a conversation? Her smile had brightened his day even when it wasn’t directed at him, and he’d been drawn like a moth to a flame to see it over and over again. Today, it soothed him, gave him strength…eased his anxiety.
Had it only been two weeks since they returned from Galveston Island? It seemed longer. Their last full day there had been one of the best in his life. The morning after Maria’s pregnancy scare, he’d woken up with Liz and realized he’d actually slept the whole night through. No nightmares, no restless tossing and turning. Liz’s soft form had been nestled against his and he’d lain there just enjoying the feeling of being in bed with her, knowing that he wanted to do this for the rest of his life. When Liz had stirred, there was no awkwardness, no tension, just a few minutes of shared kisses and snuggling before they’d gotten up to meet the others for breakfast.
Their day at the beach was perfect. Everyone had let their cares and problems go and for once, they got to be normal teenagers. Football in the sand, riding the waves, eating hotdogs and drinking sodas, burying each other in the sand. That night, after resting in their rooms for a while, they’d met for dinner and spent the night walking on the beach and playing Shuffle Board. No one had wanted to leave the next day.
It was a few days after getting back that Isabel told Max that the hard drive she’d taken from Dr. Hardwell’s lab had been corrupted. She’d been trying since they’d rescued him to get into it with help from a couple of computer whiz’s she knew at school, but they’d finally had to give up. None of the information could be retrieved. That meant they only had the one Liz was keeping.
Liz had told him how she’d gotten the pictures of Zan off the hard drive without going into too much detail at first, but after he’d questioned her about it, she’d finally confessed about the other pictures, including the ones of Tess. She’d wanted to just destroy the thing, but Max had told her not too. He wasn’t willing to get rid of it without at least attempting to read the data the doctor had gathered. And as for the pictures, he knew it would be difficult, but Max needed to see them. Like it was somehow necessary to see them in order to finally lay what happened to rest. Liz hadn’t been happy about that.
“Max, I don’t understand you. Why would you want to put yourself through this?” Liz’s voice was strident, but Max knew she wasn’t irritated with him, just concerned.
“I just need to. For some sort of closure or something. I don’t know. I just know that I can’t do it without you so please….,” Max wrapped his arms around her waist. “ And besides, it isn’t fair that you’re the only one who’s seen them. You shouldn’t have to carry that alone.”
“You know I don’t care about that,” she said, staring up into his eyes.
“I do.”
In the end, Liz had given in to his plea, so here he sat, waiting for her to finish her shift so they could go to his house.
Max glanced up as Liz approached his table. “Just let me run upstairs to change, and I’ll be ready to go.”
“Okay.”
Liz ran a hand through the hair on the back of his neck as she walked by and Max closed his eyes for a moment just to let her touch sooth him. When he opened them again, he tried to look less like he was going to meet his doom and Liz gave him a small smile before heading into the kitchen.
Max watched her disappear and took a deep steadying breath, trying to ease the butterflies in his stomach. When he told her he couldn’t do it alone, he hadn’t meant physically. He meant that he needed her presence and her strength to help him deal with what he was going to see.
When Isabel first mentioned the other hard drive to him, Max had felt it like a blow to his gut. He hadn’t wanted to think about these leftovers from his captivity, but knowing his sister had risked precious moments to retrieve them during his rescue and also knowing what Liz had done in order to make the pictures of Zan she’d given him……he decided he had to quit being a coward.
Liz didn’t think of it that way, of course. All she could see was that he was still recovering from his ordeal and that seeing the pictures and reading the doctor’s research would was hard enough for anyone, much less someone who’d been the subject of them. She asked him to at least wait for a while until everything wasn’t so fresh, but he’d insisted that it needed to be now. The more he thought about it, the more it felt like an axe hanging over his head. He just wanted to get it over with.
And with Liz leaving in a couple of months…..Max felt a wrenching pain somewhere near his heart. That was another problem yet to be solved. Liz had made it clear that she wanted him to come with her to Illinois, but so far, he’d managed to avoid making the decision. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to go with her because God knew, the thought of being without her paralyzed him. Max frowned down at the table unseeing. Why did he have to be so…….
“Are you having second thoughts?” Liz’s voice brought Max out of his reverie. She’d been standing in front of his table for several seconds, watching him frown at the table as though it had offended him somehow. His startled look at her voice gave testament to how deep in thought he’d been.
“No. No second thoughts,” Max answered, getting up from the table. He threw some money down for a tip and took the bag holding the hard drive from Liz as they headed out the door.
“I wish you would, Max. Have second thoughts. Let’s not do this today. Let’s go to a movie or rent one or…something else.” Liz was so afraid that viewing these pictures was going to set him back, and the thought of him looking at Zan in the midst of some of the same tests he’d had to endure tore her heart up.
Max got in on his side and looked at her, seeing her concern and her love. “I need to do this, and I want to get it over with. I know it’s going to be hard for you….looking at those pictures again but….”
“They’re horrible and you’re right, I don’t want to look at them again, but it’s not me I’m concerned about.”
“I know and I appreciate that but…..”
“But you’ve gone into stubborn mode and I can’t talk you out of this.”
Max managed a grin as he started the car, bringing her hand to his lips, seeing her trying to keep her frown from turning into a smile. “Two words. Pot, kettle.”
The smile broke through at that, and Liz tried to pull her hand from his playfully. “You’ll pay for that later, Buddy.”
“I’m counting on it,” Max said, putting the car in gear. He was glad they could still joke, because he knew that later on, they weren’t going to be in a joking mood. Max kept hold of her hand as they drove to his house.
*****************************
They were on Max’s bed, Liz lying on her back, Max held in her arms, his head on her chest. He hadn’t said anything for well over a half hour, but he didn’t need to. The desperation of his grip and flow of silent anguish through their connection spoke for him.
Looking at the documents and pictures in the computer had been just as harrowing as she’d thought it was going to be, the ones of little Zan being tested and worked on by indifferent doctors no less horrifying for being less intense then the ones of Tess. They’d had no compassion for their victims, leaving them exposed in front of a room full of people while they probed and took samples, causing physical as well as mental pain if the expressions on Tess’s face was any indication.
There were detailed pictures of the amputation of Tess’s leg as well as the birth of Zan. Liz hadn’t thought she was capable of feeling sorry for Tess, but the pictures of her face as she apparently begged the doctors to hold her baby after it was born were heart wrenching. It appeared that they’d taken Zan away from her immediately without any regard and Liz could only imagine her feelings as well as poor little Zan’s to be wrenched away from the only person he’d ever known into a cold, emotionless environment.
Perusing some of the documents they’d printed, Liz saw that they were actually Dr. Hardwell’s personal observations rather than the actual test results and reports. This hard drive must have been from his personal computer, which made it even more horrific that he had these pictures on it. They were obviously downloaded from videotape so the actual tapes must have been destroyed in the fire.
There were preliminary observations regarding Max’s testing in some of the documents and Liz was even more happy that they’d managed to get him out when they did. Aside from the plan to create more children using the samples gathered from him and Tess, there were scrawling descriptions of ideas he had to eventually test Max without the drugs suppressing his powers and perhaps trying to mate him with a human.
While they’d been viewing the pictures, Liz was acutely aware of Max’s feelings. He couldn’t have held them in if he’d tried. Even having seen some of the images before, they gained new perspective when Liz realized by Max’s reactions which ones he’d had personal knowledge of. She kept getting flashes of his captivity as she’d touched him, not just with Dr. Hardwell, but from Pierce as well and Liz’s heart ached even as she tried to send as much calmness and love through their connection as possible. It was really hard to do while being faced with such evil. Her faith in her fellow humans was being sorely tested.
They finally came to a picture of Zan lying curled in a fetal position, his exhausted face resigned and empty, the doctor standing over him making notes while two others stood behind him appearing to be having a conversation, one of them smiling. Liz gasped as Max’s rage suddenly hit her full force before he reigned it in. She found her breath, but the sight of his ashen face had her insisting they stop. Max didn’t argue.
Max shifted a little in her arms, and Liz kissed the top of his head, willing to lay there as long as he needed her to.
“How could they treat him that way? He was just a little boy.” Max’s quiet words finally broke the silence.
Liz swallowed back tears. “I don’t know.
“I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
“That I put you through that,” Max answered her.
The tears overflowed. Liz could feel his pain so acutely that it was an ache inside her, but he was apologizing to her for hers. She shifted under him, making him finally lift his face to look at her, and her heart broke at the raw emotion in his eyes. Leaning down slightly, Liz kissed his lips, gently coaxing him to respond, until Max’s arms tightened around her and he returned her kiss with desperation. His guilt and sorrow overflowed through their connection, and his kisses reflected his need for comfort and redemption. Liz responded, absorbing his pain, not realizing that hers was being reflected back to him.
Max was aware of how viewing the pictures had been affecting her even in the midst of his own feelings. But now he felt her horror at the evil that humans were capable of, her fear for him and her distress over what had been done to him and Zan even as her love for him flowed through, blanketing everything.
They broke apart as the phone suddenly rang, and Max closed his eyes for a second before lifting himself up so Liz could slide into a sitting position as he reached for the phone. He had to clear his throat before he could answer.
“Hello?”
“Max, this is Jeff Parker. Is Liz there?”
“Yes, just a second.”
“It’s your Dad,” Max said, handing her the phone before getting up and running a hand through his hair.
“Dad? What hap…..but…..I’m in the middle of something right now……I know that but…..okay…yes….okay….I’ll be there in a few minutes.” Liz sighed a put the phone down.
“I have to go. The new assistant manager Dad hired to replace me when I leave just called in sick and he has to go to some meeting tonight and Mom’s out of town again. I’m really sorry.”
Max shook his head. “It’s okay.”
Liz looked at him, knowing he was sincere, but not liking the closed expression on his face. She got up from the bed and picked up her purse. “Do you want to come down later for dinner?” She really didn’t want him to be alone right now.
“I think my Mom is cooking tonight.”
“Oh…well….why don’t you call Michael and see if…”
“Liz….it’s okay. Don’t worry about me.” Max smiled, attempting to put her more at ease, but Liz wasn’t fooled by the lifting of his lips. His eyes still reflected the remoteness of him suppressing his emotions. She wound her arms around his waist, laying her head on his chest.
“Please Max. Don’t look at anymore of those pictures. Promise me.”
“I promise,” Max said, his own arms wrapped around her tightly. He had no desire to look at the pictures again. They were an open wound right now and that would just be rubbing salt in it. “We’d better go.”
Nodding reluctantly, Liz pulled away and let him take her to the car. The drive was made in relative silence except for the repaired radio and when they pulled up at the CrashDown, Max left the car idling as he turned to say goodbye.
I’ll call you after I get done, okay?” Liz said.
“Okay.”
“I love you.” Liz was rewarded with the slight softening of his features as his eyes reflected his love back at her.
“I love you too.”
Reaching up for one last kiss, Liz clung for a moment before forcing herself to let go and get out of the car. She turned one more time to wave, and Max managed to curve his lips in a semblance of a smile even though they felt like they were going to fall off his face as he watched Liz enter the CrashDown. When she disappeared, he closed his eyes, taking a deep breath trying to ease the constriction in his lungs. It felt like a vice was squeezing his heart, and he sat there for a moment, trying to get his bearings before finally putting the car in gear to pull away.
He couldn’t go home. He knew his mother was expecting him for dinner, but he couldn’t go home right now. He’d call and make an excuse. Max tried to relax his grip on the wheel, driving carefully in the opposite direction, not feeling the wind from the open top of the Chevelle, not hearing the music on the radio, not doing anything but focusing on his destination.
*************************
“It was so horrible, Maria. It was bad the first time, but looking at them with Max was much worse.”
Liz shook her head as she and Maria cleaned up. The night was almost over, thank goodness because it had been extremely busy. A busload of tourists on their way to Carlsbad Caverns had stopped in to soak up the “Alien Atmosphere” of Roswell and Liz and Maria had barely had time to breath much less talk.
“So how was he when you left?” Maria lifted the bus tub full of dishes to the next table.
“Not good. Before I left, we were lying there on his bed, and I could feel how upset he was. He wasn’t hiding from me, but after Dad called, he closed off. You know how I mean.”
“I know, but maybe he wasn’t doing it to, you know, hide his feelings. Maybe he was doing it so you would feel better about leaving. Like he didn’t want you to worry about him so he made it easier for you to go.”
“That’ s sort of what he said, but I can’t help it, Maria. I am worried about him. I didn’t want him to do it in the first place and now…..” Her words were cut off by the ringing of the phone in the kitchen. Liz had her hands full so Maria went to get it.
When she came back, Liz glanced up and saw the troubled expression on her face and her heart skipped. “What? What happened?”
“That was Mrs. Evans. She was trying to reach Max. He isn’t answering his cell and she assumed he was here with you because he said he wasn’t coming home for dinner. She wanted him to go by the store and pick up a couple of groceries on the way home tonight.”
“He told me he couldn’t come here for dinner because his mother was cooking.” Liz gazed at her in apprehension and glanced at the clock. They still had a half hour to go before closing and besides still having customers, the place was a mess from the tourists.
“Go. It’ll be okay. Me and Cindy can handle it,” Maria said, but Liz was already shaking her head.
“I can’t. Dad left me in charge and he’ll have a conniption if I leave you guys here with the place like this after he trusted me.” Liz chewed on her lower lip for a moment, then she relaxed. “Wait a minute.”
Maria watched her disappear into the kitchen and a moment later, reappear with her cell phone. She was smiling a little and turned it to show Maria that she had a message. Pressing a button, she listened for a few moments, and a slight frown appeared between her brows.
“What? What did he say?” Maria asked.
“He said that he decided not to go home for dinner and that he was going for a drive to clear his head. And of course, not to worry.”
“Well there you go,” Maria gestured towards the cell phone. “He’s fine.”
“Yeah, it’s just…..I hate that I had to leave him like that. I’m not worried like I used to that he’ll….you know…..”
“Go off the deep end?” Maria supplied.
“”Thank you, Maria, for making me feel better.”
“I’m just saying. So continue. You’re not worried like you used to but……”
“But nothing. I’m not worried. He was upset but he just needed to be alone for a while and I’m sure he’s fine.”
“Good,” Maria said.
“Fine,” Liz said again, nodding.
“Good.”
“Fine.”
The two girls started laughing, continuing to clean up, and a little while later, a new customer came in. After taking their drink order, Maria noticed Liz glancing at the clock again, and shook her head smiling a little, heading into the kitchen. When she returned, she passed Liz on her way to her customer’s table.
“Michael’s on his way.” Maria smirked as Liz just stared after her.
When she headed back after taking the people’s food order, Liz smiled at her a little self deprecatingly. “You could at least pretend that I’m not that obvious.”
“Where’s the fun in that? Have you figured out where Max might have gone?”
“I’ve been thinking about it and I might have an idea.”
******************************
Max was leaning against Zan’s headstone much the way he had been the last time he came here to think, but last time, he’d hurt Liz and had come here to sort out his feelings.
“This time is different,” he said out loud. He did need to sort out his feelings, but he also needed to do something else. Max felt the sting of tears as he thought about the things he’d seen tonight. He got up from his position and went to kneel in front of the headstone. He hesitated, reaching down to clean a few dead leaves and dried sticks from the ground, pulling weeds much the same as he’d seen his mother do to his grandfather’s grave. Finally stopping, he sighed, knowing he was procrastinating.
“Zan….I’ve come to say…..that I’m sorry.” Max swallowed at the inadequacy of the words. “I know I’ve said it before but…..I saw…..I saw what they did to you tonight.” His throat thick with the tears he was suppressing, Max swallowed again. “I know….that it’s too late….that I wasn’t there to protect you….but I want you to know that….if there had been a way…..I would have stopped what happened. I never wanted….to leave you in that place….Please know that I tried everyday ….to find you…..and …...that….that…..”Max choked finally on a sob that he couldn’t control. “…that I loved you.” He whispered it through the tears. Dropping his head, he let them fall, watering the grass of his son’s grave with his sorrow.
Finally after a few moments, the tears lessened, and Max wiped his eyes and nose with the back of his hand, moving from his kneeling position to sit crossed legged. The rain had made everything wet, but he didn’t care. His heart still heavy, he sat staring down at the ground, and his mind couldn’t help but dwell on the pictures, not only of Zan but of Tess as well. As much as he hated her for what she’d done to him, Max wasn’t sure that he would have wished those things on her. He remembered every detail of what it felt like to be helpless and paralyzed with terror as indifferent people deliberately caused him excruciating pain just to see his reaction. Death was preferable.
His thoughts turned to Liz’s reaction to the pictures, and he took a deep breath, guilt weighing heavily. He’d been selfish to insist that she be with him while he exercised his demons. Hadn’t she been through enough because of him without him deliberately making her go through them a second time? He’d done it because he knew that he wouldn’t have been able to get through it without her, but…...a feeling of helpless rage and inadequacy overwhelmed him.
God, he was so tired of being weak. He knew that Liz didn’t think of him that way, but he couldn’t help it. He needed her so much just get through the day sometimes and it wasn’t fair to her. She deserved someone who was strong and healthy. Someone who could shoulder his own burdens and help her with hers.
And she deserved a normal life. Max knew that Liz would say that this was her normal life, the life she’d chosen for herself, and he believed her to an extent, but even though she never complained, he knew that living under the constant threat of discovery combined with the worrying she did about his well being, was wearing on her. And it wasn’t fair to her. She was eighteen years old and she’d had her teen years ripped away from her by events beyond her control. She’d adjusted more than admirably but she shouldn’t have had to.
Max got up and moved back over to the side of the headstone so he could lean his back against it. Liz was getting ready to go to college. She’d talked excitedly about the science program Northwestern offered and hinted that she was sure that they would have something equally exciting for him to pursue. She’d even brought him an application she’d printed off the Internet. His thoughts from earlier this afternoon came back to him. It wasn’t a question of whether or not he wanted to go with her. Max knew that wherever Liz chose to be, he would chose to be there too.
He no longer feared living away from Roswell. He and Michael and Isabel had decided to live on this earth and hiding fearfully in Roswell was a waste of precious time. They were going to pursue their lives and hope for the best, always being careful to act as normal as possible. Isabel was moving to Boston with her husband, and Max knew that Michael would follow Maria to the ends of the earth.
So that left him. And the more he thought about Liz and himself and the events of today, the more Max realized that he knew what his decision was going to be. He loved Liz more than anything in the universe and her happiness and her well being were the most important things to him. Now he just had to tell Liz.
Getting up from the ground, Max dusted his pants off, running a hand over them to dry the wet spots, and looked down at Zan’s headstone one last time.
Zan Evans
Beloved Son and Grandson
“Bye Zan. I won’t forget. I promise.”
Max turned and headed towards the entrance to the cemetery not really paying attention to the other graves, but he heard a noise and stopped. It sounded like a stick breaking under someone’s foot, and suddenly every horror film he’d ever seen came rushing back to him in vivid clarity. Moving cautiously, Max saw the gates to the cemetery and hurried forward, his skin suddenly clammy, senses on high alert.
There it was again! Whirling around, Max felt his heart stop in a moment of sheer fright at the sight of someone walking towards him, the face eerily glowing and distorted, when he realized who it was and where the light was coming from.
“Very funny, Michael.”
“Sorry, Dude. I couldn’t resist. You should have seen your face.” Michael dropped his hands away from his face where he’d had them cupped under his chin to produce the otherworldly light. His grin was infectious and Max couldn’t help grinning back a little.
“I’m sure. So what are you doing here?”
“I was in the neighborhood and thought I’d go for a walk in the cemetery. What do you think I’m doing here?”
“Liz was worried about me.” Of course Liz would figure out where he’d gone. Max shook his head. He knew he was making the right decision.
“And your mother wants you to pick up some stuff from the grocery store. You really shouldn’t leave your cell off when no one knows where you are.”
“I….needed some time alone.” Max felt his somber mood return as he and Michael walked towards the gates.
“Liz knew that, that’s why I didn’t interrupt you.”
Max looked at Michael. “How long have you been here?”
“Long enough to know that I don’t like sitting around in cemeteries at night.” Michael was silent for a moment. “Liz told me about the pictures. You want to tell me why you felt the need to torture yourself.”
“That wasn’t what I was doing,” Max denied, but at Michael’s raised eyebrow, he flushed a little. “Not entirely. Yes, a few weeks ago, I would have felt that way, but I just needed to do it to know what Zan had been going through. I felt him for all those months, felt his fear and I just…needed to know that’s all.”
“I get it, I guess.”
“So…I take it Liz isn’t done with work yet.”
“No. They had a big tourist bus come in and they’re cleaning up from it. She’s going to be a while.”
“I guess I’ll call my Mom and find out what she wants.”
Just as they reached the gates, they both heard a noise and whirled around to look, but it was just the scrape of the tree branch against the gate.
“Hurry,” Michael said, and Max nodded, quickly using his powers to unlock the gate. The two guys slipped through, Max taking a moment to relock the gate. Trying to be cool, they walked casually towards their cars, but as the tree scraped again, their steps quickened and both guys gave up, running and jumping into their cars with no finesse, pealing away in a cloud of dust.
************************
Max turned at the tapping on his window. It was late and he’d just finished changing out of his clothes. Peering through the glass he quickly unlatched the window when he saw who it was.
“Liz,” he said, helping her over the sill. He smiled slightly. “Didn’t I just talk to you a little while ago?” He’d called after he talked to his mother, telling her that he was going to pick up groceries then go home for the night.
“Yes but…..” Liz pushed her hair back. “I know you said you were all right, but I thought…you know after today…..you might have trouble sleeping.”
Max stared at her, too moved for words. Here she was, obviously exhausted from her double shift at the restaurant, but she came over because she was worried about him. And truthfully, he’d been dreading going to bed knowing that his nightmares might be waiting for him so he’d been contemplating a night of infomercials on TV. Liz had saved him again.
Taking her hand, he led her to the bed and sat her down. Lifting her feet, Max took off her shoes and socks. He went to his drawer and removed a tee shirt, then silently asking permission, he lifted her shirt off and put his shirt on. It fell almost to her knees. Liz stood up to remove her pants and quickly reach underneath to take off her bra. They slid into his bed and Max set his alarm before pulling her against him, sighing in grateful relief at not having to spend the night alone with his demons.
Liz snuggled against his solid form, already feeling sleep pulling at her. Could anything feel better than this? Going to sleep in Max’s arms had to be as close to heaven on earth as it came.
“Thank you,” Max whispered as he felt Liz’s tired body relax into his. There was no way his dreams could be anything but sweet now with his angel in his arms. He felt the feather light kiss Liz placed on his chest in answer and swallowed as his heart threatened to overflow. Tightening his arms, Max closed his eyes and slept.
TBC.......
Thanks for everything you guys. To all of you who nominated me for the awards and for just reading and letting me know you're out there with me. I love you guys.
Just kidding. Not about the love but about it making me sad. Okay, enough babbling.Everything to You Part 55
It was raining. Max stared out of the window of the CrashDown, watching as people ran to their cars and tried to keep dry. Contrary to what most people thought about New Mexico, it wasn’t always a dry place, and when it rained, it rained hard.
Max turned his gaze back to his cup of coffee. He didn’t mind the rain. It suited his mood. His eyes strayed to Liz as she finished taking care of the bill for her last table of the afternoon. He watched her smile easily at her customers, feeling his stomach rumble the way it always did when she smiled. How many times had he watched from afar as she’d laughed with her friends at school or waited on tables while he sat at his usual booth, too shy and afraid to strike up a conversation? Her smile had brightened his day even when it wasn’t directed at him, and he’d been drawn like a moth to a flame to see it over and over again. Today, it soothed him, gave him strength…eased his anxiety.
Had it only been two weeks since they returned from Galveston Island? It seemed longer. Their last full day there had been one of the best in his life. The morning after Maria’s pregnancy scare, he’d woken up with Liz and realized he’d actually slept the whole night through. No nightmares, no restless tossing and turning. Liz’s soft form had been nestled against his and he’d lain there just enjoying the feeling of being in bed with her, knowing that he wanted to do this for the rest of his life. When Liz had stirred, there was no awkwardness, no tension, just a few minutes of shared kisses and snuggling before they’d gotten up to meet the others for breakfast.
Their day at the beach was perfect. Everyone had let their cares and problems go and for once, they got to be normal teenagers. Football in the sand, riding the waves, eating hotdogs and drinking sodas, burying each other in the sand. That night, after resting in their rooms for a while, they’d met for dinner and spent the night walking on the beach and playing Shuffle Board. No one had wanted to leave the next day.
It was a few days after getting back that Isabel told Max that the hard drive she’d taken from Dr. Hardwell’s lab had been corrupted. She’d been trying since they’d rescued him to get into it with help from a couple of computer whiz’s she knew at school, but they’d finally had to give up. None of the information could be retrieved. That meant they only had the one Liz was keeping.
Liz had told him how she’d gotten the pictures of Zan off the hard drive without going into too much detail at first, but after he’d questioned her about it, she’d finally confessed about the other pictures, including the ones of Tess. She’d wanted to just destroy the thing, but Max had told her not too. He wasn’t willing to get rid of it without at least attempting to read the data the doctor had gathered. And as for the pictures, he knew it would be difficult, but Max needed to see them. Like it was somehow necessary to see them in order to finally lay what happened to rest. Liz hadn’t been happy about that.
“Max, I don’t understand you. Why would you want to put yourself through this?” Liz’s voice was strident, but Max knew she wasn’t irritated with him, just concerned.
“I just need to. For some sort of closure or something. I don’t know. I just know that I can’t do it without you so please….,” Max wrapped his arms around her waist. “ And besides, it isn’t fair that you’re the only one who’s seen them. You shouldn’t have to carry that alone.”
“You know I don’t care about that,” she said, staring up into his eyes.
“I do.”
In the end, Liz had given in to his plea, so here he sat, waiting for her to finish her shift so they could go to his house.
Max glanced up as Liz approached his table. “Just let me run upstairs to change, and I’ll be ready to go.”
“Okay.”
Liz ran a hand through the hair on the back of his neck as she walked by and Max closed his eyes for a moment just to let her touch sooth him. When he opened them again, he tried to look less like he was going to meet his doom and Liz gave him a small smile before heading into the kitchen.
Max watched her disappear and took a deep steadying breath, trying to ease the butterflies in his stomach. When he told her he couldn’t do it alone, he hadn’t meant physically. He meant that he needed her presence and her strength to help him deal with what he was going to see.
When Isabel first mentioned the other hard drive to him, Max had felt it like a blow to his gut. He hadn’t wanted to think about these leftovers from his captivity, but knowing his sister had risked precious moments to retrieve them during his rescue and also knowing what Liz had done in order to make the pictures of Zan she’d given him……he decided he had to quit being a coward.
Liz didn’t think of it that way, of course. All she could see was that he was still recovering from his ordeal and that seeing the pictures and reading the doctor’s research would was hard enough for anyone, much less someone who’d been the subject of them. She asked him to at least wait for a while until everything wasn’t so fresh, but he’d insisted that it needed to be now. The more he thought about it, the more it felt like an axe hanging over his head. He just wanted to get it over with.
And with Liz leaving in a couple of months…..Max felt a wrenching pain somewhere near his heart. That was another problem yet to be solved. Liz had made it clear that she wanted him to come with her to Illinois, but so far, he’d managed to avoid making the decision. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to go with her because God knew, the thought of being without her paralyzed him. Max frowned down at the table unseeing. Why did he have to be so…….
“Are you having second thoughts?” Liz’s voice brought Max out of his reverie. She’d been standing in front of his table for several seconds, watching him frown at the table as though it had offended him somehow. His startled look at her voice gave testament to how deep in thought he’d been.
“No. No second thoughts,” Max answered, getting up from the table. He threw some money down for a tip and took the bag holding the hard drive from Liz as they headed out the door.
“I wish you would, Max. Have second thoughts. Let’s not do this today. Let’s go to a movie or rent one or…something else.” Liz was so afraid that viewing these pictures was going to set him back, and the thought of him looking at Zan in the midst of some of the same tests he’d had to endure tore her heart up.
Max got in on his side and looked at her, seeing her concern and her love. “I need to do this, and I want to get it over with. I know it’s going to be hard for you….looking at those pictures again but….”
“They’re horrible and you’re right, I don’t want to look at them again, but it’s not me I’m concerned about.”
“I know and I appreciate that but…..”
“But you’ve gone into stubborn mode and I can’t talk you out of this.”
Max managed a grin as he started the car, bringing her hand to his lips, seeing her trying to keep her frown from turning into a smile. “Two words. Pot, kettle.”
The smile broke through at that, and Liz tried to pull her hand from his playfully. “You’ll pay for that later, Buddy.”
“I’m counting on it,” Max said, putting the car in gear. He was glad they could still joke, because he knew that later on, they weren’t going to be in a joking mood. Max kept hold of her hand as they drove to his house.
*****************************
They were on Max’s bed, Liz lying on her back, Max held in her arms, his head on her chest. He hadn’t said anything for well over a half hour, but he didn’t need to. The desperation of his grip and flow of silent anguish through their connection spoke for him.
Looking at the documents and pictures in the computer had been just as harrowing as she’d thought it was going to be, the ones of little Zan being tested and worked on by indifferent doctors no less horrifying for being less intense then the ones of Tess. They’d had no compassion for their victims, leaving them exposed in front of a room full of people while they probed and took samples, causing physical as well as mental pain if the expressions on Tess’s face was any indication.
There were detailed pictures of the amputation of Tess’s leg as well as the birth of Zan. Liz hadn’t thought she was capable of feeling sorry for Tess, but the pictures of her face as she apparently begged the doctors to hold her baby after it was born were heart wrenching. It appeared that they’d taken Zan away from her immediately without any regard and Liz could only imagine her feelings as well as poor little Zan’s to be wrenched away from the only person he’d ever known into a cold, emotionless environment.
Perusing some of the documents they’d printed, Liz saw that they were actually Dr. Hardwell’s personal observations rather than the actual test results and reports. This hard drive must have been from his personal computer, which made it even more horrific that he had these pictures on it. They were obviously downloaded from videotape so the actual tapes must have been destroyed in the fire.
There were preliminary observations regarding Max’s testing in some of the documents and Liz was even more happy that they’d managed to get him out when they did. Aside from the plan to create more children using the samples gathered from him and Tess, there were scrawling descriptions of ideas he had to eventually test Max without the drugs suppressing his powers and perhaps trying to mate him with a human.
While they’d been viewing the pictures, Liz was acutely aware of Max’s feelings. He couldn’t have held them in if he’d tried. Even having seen some of the images before, they gained new perspective when Liz realized by Max’s reactions which ones he’d had personal knowledge of. She kept getting flashes of his captivity as she’d touched him, not just with Dr. Hardwell, but from Pierce as well and Liz’s heart ached even as she tried to send as much calmness and love through their connection as possible. It was really hard to do while being faced with such evil. Her faith in her fellow humans was being sorely tested.
They finally came to a picture of Zan lying curled in a fetal position, his exhausted face resigned and empty, the doctor standing over him making notes while two others stood behind him appearing to be having a conversation, one of them smiling. Liz gasped as Max’s rage suddenly hit her full force before he reigned it in. She found her breath, but the sight of his ashen face had her insisting they stop. Max didn’t argue.
Max shifted a little in her arms, and Liz kissed the top of his head, willing to lay there as long as he needed her to.
“How could they treat him that way? He was just a little boy.” Max’s quiet words finally broke the silence.
Liz swallowed back tears. “I don’t know.
“I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
“That I put you through that,” Max answered her.
The tears overflowed. Liz could feel his pain so acutely that it was an ache inside her, but he was apologizing to her for hers. She shifted under him, making him finally lift his face to look at her, and her heart broke at the raw emotion in his eyes. Leaning down slightly, Liz kissed his lips, gently coaxing him to respond, until Max’s arms tightened around her and he returned her kiss with desperation. His guilt and sorrow overflowed through their connection, and his kisses reflected his need for comfort and redemption. Liz responded, absorbing his pain, not realizing that hers was being reflected back to him.
Max was aware of how viewing the pictures had been affecting her even in the midst of his own feelings. But now he felt her horror at the evil that humans were capable of, her fear for him and her distress over what had been done to him and Zan even as her love for him flowed through, blanketing everything.
They broke apart as the phone suddenly rang, and Max closed his eyes for a second before lifting himself up so Liz could slide into a sitting position as he reached for the phone. He had to clear his throat before he could answer.
“Hello?”
“Max, this is Jeff Parker. Is Liz there?”
“Yes, just a second.”
“It’s your Dad,” Max said, handing her the phone before getting up and running a hand through his hair.
“Dad? What hap…..but…..I’m in the middle of something right now……I know that but…..okay…yes….okay….I’ll be there in a few minutes.” Liz sighed a put the phone down.
“I have to go. The new assistant manager Dad hired to replace me when I leave just called in sick and he has to go to some meeting tonight and Mom’s out of town again. I’m really sorry.”
Max shook his head. “It’s okay.”
Liz looked at him, knowing he was sincere, but not liking the closed expression on his face. She got up from the bed and picked up her purse. “Do you want to come down later for dinner?” She really didn’t want him to be alone right now.
“I think my Mom is cooking tonight.”
“Oh…well….why don’t you call Michael and see if…”
“Liz….it’s okay. Don’t worry about me.” Max smiled, attempting to put her more at ease, but Liz wasn’t fooled by the lifting of his lips. His eyes still reflected the remoteness of him suppressing his emotions. She wound her arms around his waist, laying her head on his chest.
“Please Max. Don’t look at anymore of those pictures. Promise me.”
“I promise,” Max said, his own arms wrapped around her tightly. He had no desire to look at the pictures again. They were an open wound right now and that would just be rubbing salt in it. “We’d better go.”
Nodding reluctantly, Liz pulled away and let him take her to the car. The drive was made in relative silence except for the repaired radio and when they pulled up at the CrashDown, Max left the car idling as he turned to say goodbye.
I’ll call you after I get done, okay?” Liz said.
“Okay.”
“I love you.” Liz was rewarded with the slight softening of his features as his eyes reflected his love back at her.
“I love you too.”
Reaching up for one last kiss, Liz clung for a moment before forcing herself to let go and get out of the car. She turned one more time to wave, and Max managed to curve his lips in a semblance of a smile even though they felt like they were going to fall off his face as he watched Liz enter the CrashDown. When she disappeared, he closed his eyes, taking a deep breath trying to ease the constriction in his lungs. It felt like a vice was squeezing his heart, and he sat there for a moment, trying to get his bearings before finally putting the car in gear to pull away.
He couldn’t go home. He knew his mother was expecting him for dinner, but he couldn’t go home right now. He’d call and make an excuse. Max tried to relax his grip on the wheel, driving carefully in the opposite direction, not feeling the wind from the open top of the Chevelle, not hearing the music on the radio, not doing anything but focusing on his destination.
*************************
“It was so horrible, Maria. It was bad the first time, but looking at them with Max was much worse.”
Liz shook her head as she and Maria cleaned up. The night was almost over, thank goodness because it had been extremely busy. A busload of tourists on their way to Carlsbad Caverns had stopped in to soak up the “Alien Atmosphere” of Roswell and Liz and Maria had barely had time to breath much less talk.
“So how was he when you left?” Maria lifted the bus tub full of dishes to the next table.
“Not good. Before I left, we were lying there on his bed, and I could feel how upset he was. He wasn’t hiding from me, but after Dad called, he closed off. You know how I mean.”
“I know, but maybe he wasn’t doing it to, you know, hide his feelings. Maybe he was doing it so you would feel better about leaving. Like he didn’t want you to worry about him so he made it easier for you to go.”
“That’ s sort of what he said, but I can’t help it, Maria. I am worried about him. I didn’t want him to do it in the first place and now…..” Her words were cut off by the ringing of the phone in the kitchen. Liz had her hands full so Maria went to get it.
When she came back, Liz glanced up and saw the troubled expression on her face and her heart skipped. “What? What happened?”
“That was Mrs. Evans. She was trying to reach Max. He isn’t answering his cell and she assumed he was here with you because he said he wasn’t coming home for dinner. She wanted him to go by the store and pick up a couple of groceries on the way home tonight.”
“He told me he couldn’t come here for dinner because his mother was cooking.” Liz gazed at her in apprehension and glanced at the clock. They still had a half hour to go before closing and besides still having customers, the place was a mess from the tourists.
“Go. It’ll be okay. Me and Cindy can handle it,” Maria said, but Liz was already shaking her head.
“I can’t. Dad left me in charge and he’ll have a conniption if I leave you guys here with the place like this after he trusted me.” Liz chewed on her lower lip for a moment, then she relaxed. “Wait a minute.”
Maria watched her disappear into the kitchen and a moment later, reappear with her cell phone. She was smiling a little and turned it to show Maria that she had a message. Pressing a button, she listened for a few moments, and a slight frown appeared between her brows.
“What? What did he say?” Maria asked.
“He said that he decided not to go home for dinner and that he was going for a drive to clear his head. And of course, not to worry.”
“Well there you go,” Maria gestured towards the cell phone. “He’s fine.”
“Yeah, it’s just…..I hate that I had to leave him like that. I’m not worried like I used to that he’ll….you know…..”
“Go off the deep end?” Maria supplied.
“”Thank you, Maria, for making me feel better.”
“I’m just saying. So continue. You’re not worried like you used to but……”
“But nothing. I’m not worried. He was upset but he just needed to be alone for a while and I’m sure he’s fine.”
“Good,” Maria said.
“Fine,” Liz said again, nodding.
“Good.”
“Fine.”
The two girls started laughing, continuing to clean up, and a little while later, a new customer came in. After taking their drink order, Maria noticed Liz glancing at the clock again, and shook her head smiling a little, heading into the kitchen. When she returned, she passed Liz on her way to her customer’s table.
“Michael’s on his way.” Maria smirked as Liz just stared after her.
When she headed back after taking the people’s food order, Liz smiled at her a little self deprecatingly. “You could at least pretend that I’m not that obvious.”
“Where’s the fun in that? Have you figured out where Max might have gone?”
“I’ve been thinking about it and I might have an idea.”
******************************
Max was leaning against Zan’s headstone much the way he had been the last time he came here to think, but last time, he’d hurt Liz and had come here to sort out his feelings.
“This time is different,” he said out loud. He did need to sort out his feelings, but he also needed to do something else. Max felt the sting of tears as he thought about the things he’d seen tonight. He got up from his position and went to kneel in front of the headstone. He hesitated, reaching down to clean a few dead leaves and dried sticks from the ground, pulling weeds much the same as he’d seen his mother do to his grandfather’s grave. Finally stopping, he sighed, knowing he was procrastinating.
“Zan….I’ve come to say…..that I’m sorry.” Max swallowed at the inadequacy of the words. “I know I’ve said it before but…..I saw…..I saw what they did to you tonight.” His throat thick with the tears he was suppressing, Max swallowed again. “I know….that it’s too late….that I wasn’t there to protect you….but I want you to know that….if there had been a way…..I would have stopped what happened. I never wanted….to leave you in that place….Please know that I tried everyday ….to find you…..and …...that….that…..”Max choked finally on a sob that he couldn’t control. “…that I loved you.” He whispered it through the tears. Dropping his head, he let them fall, watering the grass of his son’s grave with his sorrow.
Finally after a few moments, the tears lessened, and Max wiped his eyes and nose with the back of his hand, moving from his kneeling position to sit crossed legged. The rain had made everything wet, but he didn’t care. His heart still heavy, he sat staring down at the ground, and his mind couldn’t help but dwell on the pictures, not only of Zan but of Tess as well. As much as he hated her for what she’d done to him, Max wasn’t sure that he would have wished those things on her. He remembered every detail of what it felt like to be helpless and paralyzed with terror as indifferent people deliberately caused him excruciating pain just to see his reaction. Death was preferable.
His thoughts turned to Liz’s reaction to the pictures, and he took a deep breath, guilt weighing heavily. He’d been selfish to insist that she be with him while he exercised his demons. Hadn’t she been through enough because of him without him deliberately making her go through them a second time? He’d done it because he knew that he wouldn’t have been able to get through it without her, but…...a feeling of helpless rage and inadequacy overwhelmed him.
God, he was so tired of being weak. He knew that Liz didn’t think of him that way, but he couldn’t help it. He needed her so much just get through the day sometimes and it wasn’t fair to her. She deserved someone who was strong and healthy. Someone who could shoulder his own burdens and help her with hers.
And she deserved a normal life. Max knew that Liz would say that this was her normal life, the life she’d chosen for herself, and he believed her to an extent, but even though she never complained, he knew that living under the constant threat of discovery combined with the worrying she did about his well being, was wearing on her. And it wasn’t fair to her. She was eighteen years old and she’d had her teen years ripped away from her by events beyond her control. She’d adjusted more than admirably but she shouldn’t have had to.
Max got up and moved back over to the side of the headstone so he could lean his back against it. Liz was getting ready to go to college. She’d talked excitedly about the science program Northwestern offered and hinted that she was sure that they would have something equally exciting for him to pursue. She’d even brought him an application she’d printed off the Internet. His thoughts from earlier this afternoon came back to him. It wasn’t a question of whether or not he wanted to go with her. Max knew that wherever Liz chose to be, he would chose to be there too.
He no longer feared living away from Roswell. He and Michael and Isabel had decided to live on this earth and hiding fearfully in Roswell was a waste of precious time. They were going to pursue their lives and hope for the best, always being careful to act as normal as possible. Isabel was moving to Boston with her husband, and Max knew that Michael would follow Maria to the ends of the earth.
So that left him. And the more he thought about Liz and himself and the events of today, the more Max realized that he knew what his decision was going to be. He loved Liz more than anything in the universe and her happiness and her well being were the most important things to him. Now he just had to tell Liz.
Getting up from the ground, Max dusted his pants off, running a hand over them to dry the wet spots, and looked down at Zan’s headstone one last time.
Zan Evans
Beloved Son and Grandson
“Bye Zan. I won’t forget. I promise.”
Max turned and headed towards the entrance to the cemetery not really paying attention to the other graves, but he heard a noise and stopped. It sounded like a stick breaking under someone’s foot, and suddenly every horror film he’d ever seen came rushing back to him in vivid clarity. Moving cautiously, Max saw the gates to the cemetery and hurried forward, his skin suddenly clammy, senses on high alert.
There it was again! Whirling around, Max felt his heart stop in a moment of sheer fright at the sight of someone walking towards him, the face eerily glowing and distorted, when he realized who it was and where the light was coming from.
“Very funny, Michael.”
“Sorry, Dude. I couldn’t resist. You should have seen your face.” Michael dropped his hands away from his face where he’d had them cupped under his chin to produce the otherworldly light. His grin was infectious and Max couldn’t help grinning back a little.
“I’m sure. So what are you doing here?”
“I was in the neighborhood and thought I’d go for a walk in the cemetery. What do you think I’m doing here?”
“Liz was worried about me.” Of course Liz would figure out where he’d gone. Max shook his head. He knew he was making the right decision.
“And your mother wants you to pick up some stuff from the grocery store. You really shouldn’t leave your cell off when no one knows where you are.”
“I….needed some time alone.” Max felt his somber mood return as he and Michael walked towards the gates.
“Liz knew that, that’s why I didn’t interrupt you.”
Max looked at Michael. “How long have you been here?”
“Long enough to know that I don’t like sitting around in cemeteries at night.” Michael was silent for a moment. “Liz told me about the pictures. You want to tell me why you felt the need to torture yourself.”
“That wasn’t what I was doing,” Max denied, but at Michael’s raised eyebrow, he flushed a little. “Not entirely. Yes, a few weeks ago, I would have felt that way, but I just needed to do it to know what Zan had been going through. I felt him for all those months, felt his fear and I just…needed to know that’s all.”
“I get it, I guess.”
“So…I take it Liz isn’t done with work yet.”
“No. They had a big tourist bus come in and they’re cleaning up from it. She’s going to be a while.”
“I guess I’ll call my Mom and find out what she wants.”
Just as they reached the gates, they both heard a noise and whirled around to look, but it was just the scrape of the tree branch against the gate.
“Hurry,” Michael said, and Max nodded, quickly using his powers to unlock the gate. The two guys slipped through, Max taking a moment to relock the gate. Trying to be cool, they walked casually towards their cars, but as the tree scraped again, their steps quickened and both guys gave up, running and jumping into their cars with no finesse, pealing away in a cloud of dust.
************************
Max turned at the tapping on his window. It was late and he’d just finished changing out of his clothes. Peering through the glass he quickly unlatched the window when he saw who it was.
“Liz,” he said, helping her over the sill. He smiled slightly. “Didn’t I just talk to you a little while ago?” He’d called after he talked to his mother, telling her that he was going to pick up groceries then go home for the night.
“Yes but…..” Liz pushed her hair back. “I know you said you were all right, but I thought…you know after today…..you might have trouble sleeping.”
Max stared at her, too moved for words. Here she was, obviously exhausted from her double shift at the restaurant, but she came over because she was worried about him. And truthfully, he’d been dreading going to bed knowing that his nightmares might be waiting for him so he’d been contemplating a night of infomercials on TV. Liz had saved him again.
Taking her hand, he led her to the bed and sat her down. Lifting her feet, Max took off her shoes and socks. He went to his drawer and removed a tee shirt, then silently asking permission, he lifted her shirt off and put his shirt on. It fell almost to her knees. Liz stood up to remove her pants and quickly reach underneath to take off her bra. They slid into his bed and Max set his alarm before pulling her against him, sighing in grateful relief at not having to spend the night alone with his demons.
Liz snuggled against his solid form, already feeling sleep pulling at her. Could anything feel better than this? Going to sleep in Max’s arms had to be as close to heaven on earth as it came.
“Thank you,” Max whispered as he felt Liz’s tired body relax into his. There was no way his dreams could be anything but sweet now with his angel in his arms. He felt the feather light kiss Liz placed on his chest in answer and swallowed as his heart threatened to overflow. Tightening his arms, Max closed his eyes and slept.
TBC.......
Lisa: Do we have any food that wasn't brutally slaughtered?
Homer: Well, I think the veal died of loneliness.
Homer: Well, I think the veal died of loneliness.
Okay, here I am. First let me say how much I appreciate all of your comments and insights. I really love how you all think about what's happening and let me know your opinions.
This next part is a little shorter only because as I kept writing, I realized that it was going to be too long before I got it finished so I stopped at a certain spot and have a little of the next part already written. Don't translate that to mean that I'll be quicker in getting it out because I don't ever manage to get them out as quickly as I hope to.
Josephin - Welcome and thank you.
Thanks again to all who nominated me.
Everything to You Part 56
“So Mom’s going to come with me while Dad stays. We’re going to get there a few days ahead of time so we can check it out and get me settled in.” Liz saw a new customer coming in and slid out of the booth she had sat down in with Max while he ate his lunch. “Did you hear back yet on your application?” She glanced down at him, but Max was saved from answering when she saw the people sitting in her section and went over to greet them.
He watched her taking the people’s order, only slightly relieved that she’d been distracted. He really needed to talk to her about his feelings on the subject, but hadn’t really figured out how to tell her yet. The other night when she’d stayed with him had weakened his resolve. How was he supposed to live without that?
The door chime rang and Michael strode in, spotting him at his usual booth. He sat down opposite Max and snagged French fry.
“S’up Maxwell.”
“Nothing.” Max eyed him for a moment. “You’re coming tonight, right?”
Michael lifted his irritated gaze to Max, but only nodded, keeping his opinion to himself for once. Mr. and Mrs. Evans were throwing Isabel and Jesse a going away party.
“So…what are you doing here?” Michael no longer worked for the Parker’s since Meta-Chem had changed him to full time.
“I dropped by your house to give your Mom back that dish she needed and she asked me if I was going this way to give you this.” Michael pulled an envelope out of his back pocket. “She thought you might want it.”
Max looked at the envelope, noting the return address, opening his mouth to reply, when Liz came up having heard the last part of Michael’s sentence.
“Is that your reply from Northwestern?” She said excitedly, leaning over to see before Max could answer.
“It’s from ENMU.” Michael answered for Max, oblivious to the warning look Max had shot his way.
“ENMU?” Liz looked down at her boyfriend, seeing the way he avoided her gaze, and she felt her a measure of unease. “Why are you getting a letter from ENMU?”
“He applied.” Michael answered again, still oblivious as he ate French fries from Max’s plate, missing Liz’s shocked expression. She looked at Max’s apologetic face before dropping her eyes, feeling her face redden with hurt and embarrassment. “Oh…um….I have to…..um…..” Liz was the one avoiding Max’s gaze now as she turned and hurried towards the kitchen. Max quickly slid out of the booth to follow.
“Thanks a lot Michael.”
“What?” Michael said, watching his friend sprint after his girlfriend. Maria came up and sat down, noting his annoyed expression. “What’s wrong?”
“Hell if I know. I brought Max a letter from ENMU, and Liz took off.”
Maria glanced towards the kitchen. “Oh shit.” She knew Liz was assuming Max was coming with her to Illinois.
She looked back at her boyfriend’s irritated face and sighed. “We’re going tonight, right Michael?”
“Why the hell does everyone keep asking me that? Yes I’m going.” Michael threw down the French fry in his hand. “I gotta go.” Sliding out of the booth, he quickly left the restaurant with his girlfriend staring after him in tolerant irritation, knowing the cause of his bad mood. Getting up to clear the table, Maria wondered what was going on with Max and Liz.
Max found Liz in the supply room, looking at the shelves as though searching for something, but he could see the hurt expression on her face even as she avoided looking at him, and guilt tightened his stomach.
“Liz……”
“Why didn’t you tell me you applied to ENMU?”
“I was going to…..today….but…..”
“Did you even send the application I gave you to Northwestern?”
“Yes.” Max hesitated for a second before confessing, “I got my acceptance last week.”
Liz looked at him uncomprehendingly. “Then why did you apply to ENMU?”
Knowing he had to go back to work, Max glanced at his watch and saw that he only had a few minutes left. “Liz….please…. I have to go back to work now and I don’t have time to explain. I’ll pick you up after work and we’ll talk before the party.”
Max cupped her face in his hands. He leaned down to kiss her, relief almost making his knees weak when she responded, and poured as much love into the kiss as he could muster. His lip curled in a slight smile of satisfaction at her dazed appearance when he finally lifted his head.
“I love you,” he said as he leaned down for one more quick kiss, then moved quickly out the kitchen door to return to work across the street. Liz stared after him, her stomach churning. Taking a deep breath, she followed his path back into the restaurant, resolving to reserve judgement until their talk, but something told her she wasn’t going to like what he had to say.
************************
Mrs. Evan’s entered the foyer as Max and Liz came in the front door. “Hi. You’re here early,” she said to Liz.
“Yeah..um….” Liz glanced at Max.
“We were going to go upstairs and talk for a little while. I’ll be down to help later. Is that okay?” Max asked his Mom.
“Of course, Honey. I’m really almost finished with everything anyway. Don’t worry about it.” Mrs. Evans could see that whatever her son and Liz had to talk about was serious because neither one of them looked particularly happy. “Liz, you look very nice. Would you like something to drink before you go up?”
“No thanks.” Liz smiled at Max’s mother, but it quickly disappeared when she left to go back to the kitchen. She and Max headed upstairs to his room, where Max shut the door and quickly pulled off his shirt and replaced it with the a fresh one for the party. Seeing Liz watching him warily, he sighed and sat down opposite her. Not really knowing where to start, he stared down at his hands, thinking about what to say.
Liz watched his pensive face and the sick feeling in her stomach that had taken residence there earlier intensified.
“What’s funny?” she asked when Max finally lifted his gaze and she saw the small smile on his face.
Max shook his head, his expression self-deprecating. “ I was about to make a very stupid comment and realized right before I opened my mouth that it probably wasn’t the best way to go about this. I started to tell you what I decided, then I realized that this is something that we both need to decide. So how about if I tell you my feelings instead and then you can tell me yours.”
Liz smiled, feeling a little better. “Okay.”
Nodding, Max took a deep breath. “First of all, I know it seems like I was hiding something from you, but I really wasn’t trying to do that. It’s just that…we’re talking about a really big step for us. We’d be going off by ourselves to basically live together or close to it and I….” he stopped, seeing the return of her tense expression. “What?”
“You don’t want to go with me?”
“No! I mean yes…..I mean….of course I do.” Max got up from his chair and lifted Liz to her feet. “Liz….I love you and anywhere you are is where I want to be too. Don’t ever doubt that.”
Staring up at his sincere expression, Liz nodded. “Okay, so….”
Max let go and turned away from her, trying to get his thoughts in order to try and explain what he was feeling. Finally, he spoke quietly. “This isn’t about me not wanting to be with you. It’s about whether or not I should be.” He turned around a saw her expression and realized that he hadn’t said that right. “I don’t mean ever….I just mean for right now.”
Liz frowned at him. “Max….what’s going on? I thought we’d gotten past all this. None of what’s happened changes anything for me. I love you and I want to be with you. I thought you felt the same way.”
“I do. It’s just…..” Max sighed in exasperation and ran his hands through his hair. “I’m not saying this right. This is why I haven’t talked about it because I knew that no matter what I said, it would sound like I don’t want us to be together and it isn’t true. I do….so much it hurts.”
“Then why are we having this discussion?” Liz said in frustration, not understanding what the problem was.
Max stared at her frustrated face, unhappy with himself for making her feel this way. If he didn’t think this was so important, he wouldn’t be putting her through this, but….Max shook his head. It was important. To both of them.
Sitting back down, Max drew Liz down next to him on the bed. “Liz….the last several months have been hard….on both of us. If it weren’t for you….we both know that I wouldn’t be here right now.”
Liz shook her head. “Don’t say that, Max.”
Max got up from the bed. “It’s true, Liz. When I was in that place….after Zan died….I wanted to die too. I’d lost you….I’d lost Zan…Isabel and Michael didn’t need me….nothing I cared about mattered anymore. Even after you got me out, I…wasn’t sure that I wanted to keep going….but you changed that. Michael….Isabel …Maria and my family helped, but you….you saved me Liz. Your love saved me.”
Tears had gathered in her eyes as Liz listened to his words. His voice had grown husky and she could see his vulnerability as he admitted what she knew must have been very hard for him.
“There have been days that I didn’t think that I would make it without you, that I needed to hear your voice just to get through the next minute.” Max stopped and looked down. “Even when I pushed you away or ran from my fear…from you…...you brought me back.” He took a deep breath and looked up at her, and Liz caught her breath at the starkness in his gaze. “I needed….need …you so much it scares me.”
“Is that what this is about, Max? You think your needing me is a burden to me?”
“Isn’t it?”
“Of course not. I love you and I wanted to be there for you, I wanted to do those things for you. Don’t you think that I need you just as much?” Liz asked the question, but saw immediately what the answer was by the expression on Max’s face.
“You don’t think I need you?”
Max wouldn’t look at her, instead staring out the window at the lawn outside. “You’re the strongest person I know, Liz. From the moment you found out about my secret, you’ve been nothing but brave and true, no matter what’s been thrown at you. When I look back at the things we’ve been through together, there hasn’t been a time when you wouldn’t have gotten through it without me, and most of the troubles were because of me and what I am.” Max finally turned around and found her staring at him, tear tracks on her cheeks. “I don’t want it to be like that anymore, Liz.”
Liz felt her stomach drop at his words. “What are you saying?”
“I’m saying that I want you to go to Northwestern without me… at least for a while. Live a normal college life and concentrate on yourself. You deserve that.”
The words crashed over her, and Liz struggled not to let how much they hurt show, but Max found her staring at him in a way that twisted his stomach into knots. It was the same way she’d looked at him when he told her so long ago that they needed to take a step back for while. He shook his head. It wasn’t like that this time and he needed to make her see that. Liz had sat back on the bed, dropping her gaze, but her bent head said it all. Max dropped to his knees beside the bed and lifted her chin so he could see into her eyes.
“Liz…please….listen to me. I’m not saying or doing this to hurt you and I’m not pulling away. I swear I’m not. I love you and I’m planning on us spending the rest of our lives together.” Max lifted up and sat down next to her, taking her hand. “It would just be a little while so you can settle into college without any distractions. You’ve lived the last three years with my life and my problems taking priority. It’s time for yours to be the priority now.” There was a moment of silence while Max let her think about what he said, then Liz looked up at him.
“It’s my turn to talk now, right? You said we were taking turns on this.” Her voice was controlled, and Max nodded warily at her tone. Liz got up from the bed and wiped at her tears before turning to face him.
“Tell me something, Max. If I had been the one who’d gone through what you’d been through….if I’d been raped and had a child that died, would you have abandoned me?”
The words were cold and harsh, and Liz watched the color drain from Max’s face at them, but she didn’t apologize. She wanted to make a point..
“Answer me. If I had been molested by someone and had a child that wasn’t yours and the child died and I reacted to that trauma by wanting to die or by being afraid of intimacy or by not being able to express my feelings at any given moment or any of the things that you’ve experienced over the last few months….would you have turned your back on me? Given up on me as a lost cause?”
“Liz….”
“Or would you have tried to shoulder the burden with me? Tried to make me realize that it wasn’t my fault and helped me deal with all of those things because you love me and you want to be with me because you know we belong together no matter what happened to me?” Liz watched Max struggle with what she was saying, and her stance softened as she gazed at her beloved.
“I love you, Max. And I need you. Just as much as you need me.” Liz moved back to the bed and sat down, taking his strong hand in hers and turning the palm over to trace the lines. “I need you to look at me that way that you do that makes me feel so beautiful….and I need you to touch me with these hands that make me feel so treasured….and I need you to hold me in your arms so I feel safe in the only way that you can make me feel safe…..and I need to feel you inside me…your thoughts, your feelings, your love…because without it….part of me is missing.”
Finally looking up into his face, Liz saw how her words had moved him by the tears he was trying to control and the love pouring through their connection that he couldn’t hold back. Max wrapped his arms around her, burying his face in her hair, feeling the truth of her words through their connection as well as in her arms.
“I believe you,” Max whispered and pulled back only to press his lips to hers, softly and sweetly. One wasn’t enough, and several more, longer deeper ones had to be exchanged before they stopped, just holding one another for a few precious moments. Finally, Max lay back on the bed and pulled Liz with him, fitting her comfortably against him. He sighed into her hair.
“Liz,” he said almost reluctantly, knowing she still wasn’t going to be happy. “My other reasons for wanting you to go by yourself are still valid.”
Liz pulled up, about to protest, but Max stopped her. “Listen…please, just listen for a minute.” She settled back down, but her body was stiff with protest, not conforming to their usual fit.
“What I said about you getting into college without distractions is true. It’s going to be hard enough for you to be in a new environment, on your own for the first time, trying to adjust to harder classes without worrying about me too.”
“You think just because there’s a thousand miles between us that I won’t worry about you?”
Max smiled. “No, I know you will.” His hand ran through her hair in a slow caress. “But Liz, all of those things I just said will apply to me too, and….I’m not sure I’m ready for that. I know we’d be together, experiencing the same things, but….it wouldn’t be fair to you if for some reason I couldn’t handle it or something happened. If I stayed here and started college at ENMU, I could still live at home.” He sighed and Liz could feel his anger at himself for what he perceived as his weakness.
To be honest, she hadn’t thought of that. Liz had just assumed that he would want to move with her so they could be together and she hadn’t considered that a new environment, having to meet new people and deal with new situations might be too much for him right now. He was right, even with her there, she would be dealing with the same thing and the pressure could turn out to be too much for both of them.
She nodded against his chest, letting him know through their connection that she didn’t think he was weak or pathetic to have thought of those things.
“And even though you don’t feel the same way about this as I do, I want….I need…to learn to deal with stuff on my own. To stand on my own two feet. Not just for me…for both of us. I’ve relied on you all of these months….I want for you to be able to rely on me too and right now….I don’t feel that way.”
Liz sighed. She knew no matter what she said, he still thought of himself as a burden to her. The fact that he’d made tremendous progress and that he was even considering being apart from her was a testament to how strong he really was. Why couldn’t he see it?
Max knew what she was thinking and he loved her for it, but he felt her pride in his strength was misplaced. The thought of being without her was terrifying….but he wanted to do this for both of them.
“I said it would be our decision together and I meant it. If you want me to come, I will. Believe me, it wouldn’t be that difficult to change my mind. But I really feel like this is best for now. And it won’t be that bad.” Max said it to convince himself as much as her. “ I’ll help you pay to come home at Christmas break and we’ll talk everyday on the phone if you want or e-mail.” He could feel her ambivalence towards his words and it encouraged him to know she was at least giving it some thought.
Her voice finally came quietly. “I hear what you’re saying Max, but everyday that we’re apart is one too many, as far as I’m concerned.”
His heart twisting at her words, Max tightened his arms around her. “I know. Please don’t think this easy for me. The thought of not seeing you everyday, not touching you….kissing you….” He pulled her up so he could do just that, their lips blending in mutual need for a few long moments. Sighing, Max let her lips go and pulled her close again.
“It’s going to be hell, I realize that. But…it won’t be for that long and….hopefully by the time I do come out there to live….we’ll both be ready to take that step.” Max pulled her up to look at him again. “And then we won’t ever be apart again.”
Liz looked away from his loving gaze, trying to come up with another protest….and couldn’t find one. She wanted to scream and cry and beg, but that wouldn’t be fair. She also knew that if she insisted, he would do what she asked without another word. That fact alone stopped her. The fact that he would do what she wanted in a heartbeat, even though he felt strongly about this, helped her to find the strength to do what he needed. Her eyes filled with new tears. She didn’t have to be happy about it though, and the thought of them being separated in a couple of months time made her heart ache.
Max could feel her acceptance and her sadness, and he was relieved and terrified at the same time. “Thank you,” he whispered, feeling her tears soaking his shirt. His own weren’t far off, but he held them back with an effort.
They lay like that for a while until Max glanced at the clock and saw what time it was. He shifted and brought Liz up with him as he sat up. Gazing at her tear stained face, he loved her more in that moment then he ever had before and his resolve started to crumble. How was he going to live without her?
Seeing the look of indecision on his face, part of Liz wanted to take advantage of it, but a moment later, she sighed. No, she needed to be strong. This was important to him and she would do anything he needed to get him to believe in himself. If being on his own was what it was going to take then she could accept that. For a while.
Max used his thumbs to gently wipe the tears from her cheeks, reading her thoughts through their connection. He leaned down to kiss her lips gently.
“I need to go ….um….,” Liz gestured to her face after he’d lifted his head, and Max nodded, watching her as she went into the hallway to the bathroom. He ran his hands over his face, feeling the weight of their decision settle on his chest. Going to a party was not exactly what he would choose to do at this moment, but he didn’t have a choice. He couldn’t skip his own sister’s going away party.
Going away. Isabel’s impending departure was another event that weighed like a lead ball in his stomach. His sister was leaving, Liz was leaving and he was going to be alone except for Michael’s sometimes questionable support for the first time in his life. And by his own fault. Way to go, Max, he thought gloomily, and went to meet Liz in the hall so they could go downstairs together.
TBC.....
Author Note: I'm trying to come up with something to say and I can't think of anything. Just don't be mad and keep reading. It won't be bad, I promise. Kisses.
This next part is a little shorter only because as I kept writing, I realized that it was going to be too long before I got it finished so I stopped at a certain spot and have a little of the next part already written. Don't translate that to mean that I'll be quicker in getting it out because I don't ever manage to get them out as quickly as I hope to.
Josephin - Welcome and thank you.
Thanks again to all who nominated me.
Everything to You Part 56
“So Mom’s going to come with me while Dad stays. We’re going to get there a few days ahead of time so we can check it out and get me settled in.” Liz saw a new customer coming in and slid out of the booth she had sat down in with Max while he ate his lunch. “Did you hear back yet on your application?” She glanced down at him, but Max was saved from answering when she saw the people sitting in her section and went over to greet them.
He watched her taking the people’s order, only slightly relieved that she’d been distracted. He really needed to talk to her about his feelings on the subject, but hadn’t really figured out how to tell her yet. The other night when she’d stayed with him had weakened his resolve. How was he supposed to live without that?
The door chime rang and Michael strode in, spotting him at his usual booth. He sat down opposite Max and snagged French fry.
“S’up Maxwell.”
“Nothing.” Max eyed him for a moment. “You’re coming tonight, right?”
Michael lifted his irritated gaze to Max, but only nodded, keeping his opinion to himself for once. Mr. and Mrs. Evans were throwing Isabel and Jesse a going away party.
“So…what are you doing here?” Michael no longer worked for the Parker’s since Meta-Chem had changed him to full time.
“I dropped by your house to give your Mom back that dish she needed and she asked me if I was going this way to give you this.” Michael pulled an envelope out of his back pocket. “She thought you might want it.”
Max looked at the envelope, noting the return address, opening his mouth to reply, when Liz came up having heard the last part of Michael’s sentence.
“Is that your reply from Northwestern?” She said excitedly, leaning over to see before Max could answer.
“It’s from ENMU.” Michael answered for Max, oblivious to the warning look Max had shot his way.
“ENMU?” Liz looked down at her boyfriend, seeing the way he avoided her gaze, and she felt her a measure of unease. “Why are you getting a letter from ENMU?”
“He applied.” Michael answered again, still oblivious as he ate French fries from Max’s plate, missing Liz’s shocked expression. She looked at Max’s apologetic face before dropping her eyes, feeling her face redden with hurt and embarrassment. “Oh…um….I have to…..um…..” Liz was the one avoiding Max’s gaze now as she turned and hurried towards the kitchen. Max quickly slid out of the booth to follow.
“Thanks a lot Michael.”
“What?” Michael said, watching his friend sprint after his girlfriend. Maria came up and sat down, noting his annoyed expression. “What’s wrong?”
“Hell if I know. I brought Max a letter from ENMU, and Liz took off.”
Maria glanced towards the kitchen. “Oh shit.” She knew Liz was assuming Max was coming with her to Illinois.
She looked back at her boyfriend’s irritated face and sighed. “We’re going tonight, right Michael?”
“Why the hell does everyone keep asking me that? Yes I’m going.” Michael threw down the French fry in his hand. “I gotta go.” Sliding out of the booth, he quickly left the restaurant with his girlfriend staring after him in tolerant irritation, knowing the cause of his bad mood. Getting up to clear the table, Maria wondered what was going on with Max and Liz.
Max found Liz in the supply room, looking at the shelves as though searching for something, but he could see the hurt expression on her face even as she avoided looking at him, and guilt tightened his stomach.
“Liz……”
“Why didn’t you tell me you applied to ENMU?”
“I was going to…..today….but…..”
“Did you even send the application I gave you to Northwestern?”
“Yes.” Max hesitated for a second before confessing, “I got my acceptance last week.”
Liz looked at him uncomprehendingly. “Then why did you apply to ENMU?”
Knowing he had to go back to work, Max glanced at his watch and saw that he only had a few minutes left. “Liz….please…. I have to go back to work now and I don’t have time to explain. I’ll pick you up after work and we’ll talk before the party.”
Max cupped her face in his hands. He leaned down to kiss her, relief almost making his knees weak when she responded, and poured as much love into the kiss as he could muster. His lip curled in a slight smile of satisfaction at her dazed appearance when he finally lifted his head.
“I love you,” he said as he leaned down for one more quick kiss, then moved quickly out the kitchen door to return to work across the street. Liz stared after him, her stomach churning. Taking a deep breath, she followed his path back into the restaurant, resolving to reserve judgement until their talk, but something told her she wasn’t going to like what he had to say.
************************
Mrs. Evan’s entered the foyer as Max and Liz came in the front door. “Hi. You’re here early,” she said to Liz.
“Yeah..um….” Liz glanced at Max.
“We were going to go upstairs and talk for a little while. I’ll be down to help later. Is that okay?” Max asked his Mom.
“Of course, Honey. I’m really almost finished with everything anyway. Don’t worry about it.” Mrs. Evans could see that whatever her son and Liz had to talk about was serious because neither one of them looked particularly happy. “Liz, you look very nice. Would you like something to drink before you go up?”
“No thanks.” Liz smiled at Max’s mother, but it quickly disappeared when she left to go back to the kitchen. She and Max headed upstairs to his room, where Max shut the door and quickly pulled off his shirt and replaced it with the a fresh one for the party. Seeing Liz watching him warily, he sighed and sat down opposite her. Not really knowing where to start, he stared down at his hands, thinking about what to say.
Liz watched his pensive face and the sick feeling in her stomach that had taken residence there earlier intensified.
“What’s funny?” she asked when Max finally lifted his gaze and she saw the small smile on his face.
Max shook his head, his expression self-deprecating. “ I was about to make a very stupid comment and realized right before I opened my mouth that it probably wasn’t the best way to go about this. I started to tell you what I decided, then I realized that this is something that we both need to decide. So how about if I tell you my feelings instead and then you can tell me yours.”
Liz smiled, feeling a little better. “Okay.”
Nodding, Max took a deep breath. “First of all, I know it seems like I was hiding something from you, but I really wasn’t trying to do that. It’s just that…we’re talking about a really big step for us. We’d be going off by ourselves to basically live together or close to it and I….” he stopped, seeing the return of her tense expression. “What?”
“You don’t want to go with me?”
“No! I mean yes…..I mean….of course I do.” Max got up from his chair and lifted Liz to her feet. “Liz….I love you and anywhere you are is where I want to be too. Don’t ever doubt that.”
Staring up at his sincere expression, Liz nodded. “Okay, so….”
Max let go and turned away from her, trying to get his thoughts in order to try and explain what he was feeling. Finally, he spoke quietly. “This isn’t about me not wanting to be with you. It’s about whether or not I should be.” He turned around a saw her expression and realized that he hadn’t said that right. “I don’t mean ever….I just mean for right now.”
Liz frowned at him. “Max….what’s going on? I thought we’d gotten past all this. None of what’s happened changes anything for me. I love you and I want to be with you. I thought you felt the same way.”
“I do. It’s just…..” Max sighed in exasperation and ran his hands through his hair. “I’m not saying this right. This is why I haven’t talked about it because I knew that no matter what I said, it would sound like I don’t want us to be together and it isn’t true. I do….so much it hurts.”
“Then why are we having this discussion?” Liz said in frustration, not understanding what the problem was.
Max stared at her frustrated face, unhappy with himself for making her feel this way. If he didn’t think this was so important, he wouldn’t be putting her through this, but….Max shook his head. It was important. To both of them.
Sitting back down, Max drew Liz down next to him on the bed. “Liz….the last several months have been hard….on both of us. If it weren’t for you….we both know that I wouldn’t be here right now.”
Liz shook her head. “Don’t say that, Max.”
Max got up from the bed. “It’s true, Liz. When I was in that place….after Zan died….I wanted to die too. I’d lost you….I’d lost Zan…Isabel and Michael didn’t need me….nothing I cared about mattered anymore. Even after you got me out, I…wasn’t sure that I wanted to keep going….but you changed that. Michael….Isabel …Maria and my family helped, but you….you saved me Liz. Your love saved me.”
Tears had gathered in her eyes as Liz listened to his words. His voice had grown husky and she could see his vulnerability as he admitted what she knew must have been very hard for him.
“There have been days that I didn’t think that I would make it without you, that I needed to hear your voice just to get through the next minute.” Max stopped and looked down. “Even when I pushed you away or ran from my fear…from you…...you brought me back.” He took a deep breath and looked up at her, and Liz caught her breath at the starkness in his gaze. “I needed….need …you so much it scares me.”
“Is that what this is about, Max? You think your needing me is a burden to me?”
“Isn’t it?”
“Of course not. I love you and I wanted to be there for you, I wanted to do those things for you. Don’t you think that I need you just as much?” Liz asked the question, but saw immediately what the answer was by the expression on Max’s face.
“You don’t think I need you?”
Max wouldn’t look at her, instead staring out the window at the lawn outside. “You’re the strongest person I know, Liz. From the moment you found out about my secret, you’ve been nothing but brave and true, no matter what’s been thrown at you. When I look back at the things we’ve been through together, there hasn’t been a time when you wouldn’t have gotten through it without me, and most of the troubles were because of me and what I am.” Max finally turned around and found her staring at him, tear tracks on her cheeks. “I don’t want it to be like that anymore, Liz.”
Liz felt her stomach drop at his words. “What are you saying?”
“I’m saying that I want you to go to Northwestern without me… at least for a while. Live a normal college life and concentrate on yourself. You deserve that.”
The words crashed over her, and Liz struggled not to let how much they hurt show, but Max found her staring at him in a way that twisted his stomach into knots. It was the same way she’d looked at him when he told her so long ago that they needed to take a step back for while. He shook his head. It wasn’t like that this time and he needed to make her see that. Liz had sat back on the bed, dropping her gaze, but her bent head said it all. Max dropped to his knees beside the bed and lifted her chin so he could see into her eyes.
“Liz…please….listen to me. I’m not saying or doing this to hurt you and I’m not pulling away. I swear I’m not. I love you and I’m planning on us spending the rest of our lives together.” Max lifted up and sat down next to her, taking her hand. “It would just be a little while so you can settle into college without any distractions. You’ve lived the last three years with my life and my problems taking priority. It’s time for yours to be the priority now.” There was a moment of silence while Max let her think about what he said, then Liz looked up at him.
“It’s my turn to talk now, right? You said we were taking turns on this.” Her voice was controlled, and Max nodded warily at her tone. Liz got up from the bed and wiped at her tears before turning to face him.
“Tell me something, Max. If I had been the one who’d gone through what you’d been through….if I’d been raped and had a child that died, would you have abandoned me?”
The words were cold and harsh, and Liz watched the color drain from Max’s face at them, but she didn’t apologize. She wanted to make a point..
“Answer me. If I had been molested by someone and had a child that wasn’t yours and the child died and I reacted to that trauma by wanting to die or by being afraid of intimacy or by not being able to express my feelings at any given moment or any of the things that you’ve experienced over the last few months….would you have turned your back on me? Given up on me as a lost cause?”
“Liz….”
“Or would you have tried to shoulder the burden with me? Tried to make me realize that it wasn’t my fault and helped me deal with all of those things because you love me and you want to be with me because you know we belong together no matter what happened to me?” Liz watched Max struggle with what she was saying, and her stance softened as she gazed at her beloved.
“I love you, Max. And I need you. Just as much as you need me.” Liz moved back to the bed and sat down, taking his strong hand in hers and turning the palm over to trace the lines. “I need you to look at me that way that you do that makes me feel so beautiful….and I need you to touch me with these hands that make me feel so treasured….and I need you to hold me in your arms so I feel safe in the only way that you can make me feel safe…..and I need to feel you inside me…your thoughts, your feelings, your love…because without it….part of me is missing.”
Finally looking up into his face, Liz saw how her words had moved him by the tears he was trying to control and the love pouring through their connection that he couldn’t hold back. Max wrapped his arms around her, burying his face in her hair, feeling the truth of her words through their connection as well as in her arms.
“I believe you,” Max whispered and pulled back only to press his lips to hers, softly and sweetly. One wasn’t enough, and several more, longer deeper ones had to be exchanged before they stopped, just holding one another for a few precious moments. Finally, Max lay back on the bed and pulled Liz with him, fitting her comfortably against him. He sighed into her hair.
“Liz,” he said almost reluctantly, knowing she still wasn’t going to be happy. “My other reasons for wanting you to go by yourself are still valid.”
Liz pulled up, about to protest, but Max stopped her. “Listen…please, just listen for a minute.” She settled back down, but her body was stiff with protest, not conforming to their usual fit.
“What I said about you getting into college without distractions is true. It’s going to be hard enough for you to be in a new environment, on your own for the first time, trying to adjust to harder classes without worrying about me too.”
“You think just because there’s a thousand miles between us that I won’t worry about you?”
Max smiled. “No, I know you will.” His hand ran through her hair in a slow caress. “But Liz, all of those things I just said will apply to me too, and….I’m not sure I’m ready for that. I know we’d be together, experiencing the same things, but….it wouldn’t be fair to you if for some reason I couldn’t handle it or something happened. If I stayed here and started college at ENMU, I could still live at home.” He sighed and Liz could feel his anger at himself for what he perceived as his weakness.
To be honest, she hadn’t thought of that. Liz had just assumed that he would want to move with her so they could be together and she hadn’t considered that a new environment, having to meet new people and deal with new situations might be too much for him right now. He was right, even with her there, she would be dealing with the same thing and the pressure could turn out to be too much for both of them.
She nodded against his chest, letting him know through their connection that she didn’t think he was weak or pathetic to have thought of those things.
“And even though you don’t feel the same way about this as I do, I want….I need…to learn to deal with stuff on my own. To stand on my own two feet. Not just for me…for both of us. I’ve relied on you all of these months….I want for you to be able to rely on me too and right now….I don’t feel that way.”
Liz sighed. She knew no matter what she said, he still thought of himself as a burden to her. The fact that he’d made tremendous progress and that he was even considering being apart from her was a testament to how strong he really was. Why couldn’t he see it?
Max knew what she was thinking and he loved her for it, but he felt her pride in his strength was misplaced. The thought of being without her was terrifying….but he wanted to do this for both of them.
“I said it would be our decision together and I meant it. If you want me to come, I will. Believe me, it wouldn’t be that difficult to change my mind. But I really feel like this is best for now. And it won’t be that bad.” Max said it to convince himself as much as her. “ I’ll help you pay to come home at Christmas break and we’ll talk everyday on the phone if you want or e-mail.” He could feel her ambivalence towards his words and it encouraged him to know she was at least giving it some thought.
Her voice finally came quietly. “I hear what you’re saying Max, but everyday that we’re apart is one too many, as far as I’m concerned.”
His heart twisting at her words, Max tightened his arms around her. “I know. Please don’t think this easy for me. The thought of not seeing you everyday, not touching you….kissing you….” He pulled her up so he could do just that, their lips blending in mutual need for a few long moments. Sighing, Max let her lips go and pulled her close again.
“It’s going to be hell, I realize that. But…it won’t be for that long and….hopefully by the time I do come out there to live….we’ll both be ready to take that step.” Max pulled her up to look at him again. “And then we won’t ever be apart again.”
Liz looked away from his loving gaze, trying to come up with another protest….and couldn’t find one. She wanted to scream and cry and beg, but that wouldn’t be fair. She also knew that if she insisted, he would do what she asked without another word. That fact alone stopped her. The fact that he would do what she wanted in a heartbeat, even though he felt strongly about this, helped her to find the strength to do what he needed. Her eyes filled with new tears. She didn’t have to be happy about it though, and the thought of them being separated in a couple of months time made her heart ache.
Max could feel her acceptance and her sadness, and he was relieved and terrified at the same time. “Thank you,” he whispered, feeling her tears soaking his shirt. His own weren’t far off, but he held them back with an effort.
They lay like that for a while until Max glanced at the clock and saw what time it was. He shifted and brought Liz up with him as he sat up. Gazing at her tear stained face, he loved her more in that moment then he ever had before and his resolve started to crumble. How was he going to live without her?
Seeing the look of indecision on his face, part of Liz wanted to take advantage of it, but a moment later, she sighed. No, she needed to be strong. This was important to him and she would do anything he needed to get him to believe in himself. If being on his own was what it was going to take then she could accept that. For a while.
Max used his thumbs to gently wipe the tears from her cheeks, reading her thoughts through their connection. He leaned down to kiss her lips gently.
“I need to go ….um….,” Liz gestured to her face after he’d lifted his head, and Max nodded, watching her as she went into the hallway to the bathroom. He ran his hands over his face, feeling the weight of their decision settle on his chest. Going to a party was not exactly what he would choose to do at this moment, but he didn’t have a choice. He couldn’t skip his own sister’s going away party.
Going away. Isabel’s impending departure was another event that weighed like a lead ball in his stomach. His sister was leaving, Liz was leaving and he was going to be alone except for Michael’s sometimes questionable support for the first time in his life. And by his own fault. Way to go, Max, he thought gloomily, and went to meet Liz in the hall so they could go downstairs together.
TBC.....
Author Note: I'm trying to come up with something to say and I can't think of anything. Just don't be mad and keep reading. It won't be bad, I promise. Kisses.
Last edited by sylvia37 on Wed Aug 13, 2003 6:06 am, edited 2 times in total.
Lisa: Do we have any food that wasn't brutally slaughtered?
Homer: Well, I think the veal died of loneliness.
Homer: Well, I think the veal died of loneliness.
Hi everyone. I'm finally back. I wanted to thank everyone for their comments and bumps as usual and make a comment myself.
I was reading over at the Fanfic discussion forum a thread about feedback and the question was raised about whether or not writers liked short comments or long comments, and some people were saying that they don't leave feedback sometimes because someone else has already said what they were thinking. I just wanted to say that I appreciate each of you no matter how short or long your comments are. Of course, I love it when you give me opinions or dissect things or tell me how great I am . But seriously, short comments are great too. It's just nice to know that you liked it if that's all you have to say. Us writers live for this stuff.
So that's it. Here's the next part.
Everything to You Part 57
Coming downstairs after their discussion, Max went with his Dad to help him in the living room and outside in the back yard while Liz helped Mrs. Evans in the kitchen. Most of the party was being catered so it was just a matter of setting things up. Maria and Michael, the Valenti’s and several people from Isabel’s school as well as Jesse’s business acquaintances had been invited so there was a lot to do.
Mrs. Evans noticed that Liz was not quite her usual self, but didn’t want to pry. When Maria arrived a little while later, she kept the conversation going between the women, also noting Liz’s quiet demeanor, but decided to corner her later about her discussion with Max. The guests finally started arriving, and Mrs. Evans told them to go enjoy themselves.
When the girls found Max and Michael, they all ended up in the living room just sitting, Max and Liz on the love seat, the back of Liz’s head resting on Max’s shoulder, Michael and Maria across from them, not really saying much either. They were the only people at the party their age aside from Kyle, who seemed occupied talking with Isabel and Jesse at the moment and Isabel’s impending departure had not put either Michael or Max in a partying mood.
Michael in particular was unhappy about it. Since their encounter with Khivar at the wedding, he didn’t feel it was safe for Isabel to be away from them. Although they’d all decided that they had to stop living their lives in constant fear, Michael hadn’t felt like they should be so completely separated from each other and Boston was too far. Isabel had pointed out that she’d chosen to marry someone with a career and she couldn’t expect him to stay in Roswell just because her family didn’t want her to leave. Max overruled Michael’s objections when the discussion became heated between the two of them. Since coming back from Texas, Michael and Isabel had barely spoken.
Liz closed her eyes, wishing she were alone so she could cry some more. Thoughts of her upcoming separation from Max had cast a pall over everything. Even though she’d accepted it earlier, the more she thought about it, the more it bothered her. Her throat felt raw from suppressing her tears and she swallowed to ease it. Max’s arm tightened around her and his lips touched her hair and Liz could feel his remorse for having ruined her evening and his resignation that although he felt it was the right thing, he was as depressed as about it as she was. She could also feel his sadness over Isabel’s departure and his underlying fear for her safety. He was just as concerned as Michael about it, but didn’t feel he had the right to dictate her life after all that had happened. They were on this planet for good and Isabel had made a choice to marry a human. She couldn’t stay hidden in Roswell forever.
“Max…Michael…..can you come with me for a minute?” Mr. Evans said as he approached them. “I need your help getting some things outside.”
Michael and Max got up and followed him out to the garage, leaving Liz and Maria alone. Maria moved to the love seat, studying her friend’s face.
“Okay, what happened between you and Max? You look like your puppy just got run over by a truck.”
Liz sat back against the cushions, feeling the tears she’d been holding back seeping through. “Max explained to me why he applied to ENMU.” She shook her head. “He wants me to go to Northwestern by myself for a while.”
“Why?”
Sniffling a little, Liz explained Max’s reasons for staying in Roswell. When she finished, Maria handed her a napkin that was sitting on the end table and thought about what she’d said.
“I don’t know what to say,” Maria said finally, feeling her friend’s pain. “The reasons are good, but you guys voluntarily deciding to be apart seems so wrong. I mean, after everything you’ve been through to be together……”
“I know. That’s how I feel but…..I see Max’s point too. It’s a no win situation. As much as I may want too, I can’t insist that he come. I know he would, but it wouldn’t be fair when he feels so strongly about it. I just….I’m going to worry about him so much.”
“You know that Michael and I won’t let anything happen to him. We’ll be here for him, if he needs us.”
“I know that. Will you promise me, no matter how bad it is, to always tell me the truth about what’s going on? I know Max will try and make it sound like everything’s fine even when it isn’t just so I won’t worry but….”
“I promise, Babe. But listen, you have to stop thinking the worst. Maybe this really is exactly what Max needs to get back on his feet. And he’s right about you needing to concentrate on yourself. Whether you agree with him or not, Max feels like his problems are weighing you down, so maybe with you off doing something for yourself for a change, he won’t have the added burden of feeling guilty about holding you back.”
Maria refrained from mentioning her own feelings about Liz leaving. There was enough guilt going around without her adding to it. She was going to miss Liz severely. With Alex gone and now her other best friend leaving, it was going to be an adjustment that she wasn’t looking forward to. At least she would have Max to commiserate with.
“I understand all that in my head, Maria.” Liz stared at her friend, her dark eyes serious and sad, “It’s my heart that has the problem. I love Max so much and being apart from him is painful, but being apart from him knowing that he may be hurting or afraid or that he needs me….I don’t know if I can do it.”
“Then you need to tell him that.”
Liz nodded, wiping at her tears. “I will. I’m going to miss you so much.” Liz reached over to hug her friend and Maria returned it, trying to keep her own tears in check. “Back at ya.” She pulled away and smiled as she got up from the couch. “Let’s go get something to eat.”
The two girls linked hands and headed into the kitchen.
Max and Michael stood holding boxes full of beer and wine while Mr. Evans replaced some of the melted ice in the huge cooler with fresh ice. Then they opened the containers and helped him arrange the bottles. When they were through, Mr. Evans went with them out to the trashcans behind the house to discard the empties and the boxes.
“I wanted to talk to you two before we go back in.” Mr. Evans said as they finished. Max and Michael stopped to look at him. “I’ve noticed tonight that you and Liz and Maria have been sitting in the living room, basically ignoring everyone else and looking as though the world is coming to an end.” His expression was somewhat severe, but not unkind. “I know you both have reservations about Isabel leaving and I can’t say that I blame you. But you know Isabel better than your mother and I do and even I can tell that your attitude is upsetting her, no matter how well she hides it. We all know that as tough as she tries to appear on the outside, she’s not so tough on the inside. Especially when it comes to people she cares about. She values your opinion and looks to the two of you for support. ”
Max and Michael looked at each other guiltily. “This party is for her and her husband and whatever differences you have with her about the choices she’s made can wait until other people have left. I think you owe her that much.”
The two aliens felt the weight of Mr. Evan’s reprimand, knowing what he said was true. They’d been too busy thinking of their own feelings to notice how Isabel was feeling. As they all went back in the house, they immediately looked for their sister and found her standing with Jesse while he conversed with some of his colleagues. She appeared interested and relaxed, but when she saw her two brothers, the hurt that flashed in her eyes, although fleeting, was obvious.
Making an effort to join the party, Max and Michael got some food and stood in the dining room where most of the people had congregated. Although they felt a little out of their league in the group of somewhat older people, they found that they did have some things in common with Isabel’s college friends, realizing that they were now high school graduates and Michael found someone who did nighttime security at a different facility, so they found things to discuss. Liz and Maria, who had been talking to Kyle, were surprised to find their boyfriends suddenly in the midst of the partygoers, but they joined in and soon everyone found themselves having a reasonably good time. It was obvious to those who knew her well, that Isabel was profoundly relieved by their sudden turn of attitude and Max and Michael were glad Max’s father had spoken to them.
The party began to wind down around 11:00, and as the last of the well wisher’s left, everyone began to pitch in, helping to clean up. Isabel was going around the room with a trash bag picking up discarded plastic utensils and paper plates, when she saw a stain where someone had spilled something on the couch. As she swiped her hand over it, the stain disappeared and she smiled to herself.
“Sometimes it’s not so bad is it?”
Isabel looked up at the sound of Michael’s voice. “What’s not so bad?”
“Being an alien,” he answered, picking up a couple of napkins from the floor. He walked towards her to put them in the bag.
“It has its moments,” Isabel said. She opened the bag for him, then feeling a little awkward, she looked around for other trash. Michael watched her for a moment, then took a deep breath.
“You know I was thinking earlier about the day we first saw each other at school after we got separated. First day of school, third grade. You remember?” Isabel nodded. Of course she remembered. She’d felt his presence long before she actually saw him and when she did, it was like something that was missing had fallen into place.
Michael was talking about how he’d been trying to use food stamps to buy lunch and Mr. Trevors called him a welfare punk. She could see that the sting of those words still hurt even today. “I’m about to kick his balls up into his throat…but then I feel someone watching me….It feels like a heat lamp turned on the back of my neck, and I turn around and uh…there you are.” Michael looked away from her tearful expression. “You were sitting at a table all by yourself, and you’re staring at me. So, I walk over, I sit down. You’re still staring at me with those big eyes and ….you push your tray of food over and you say, “You can have my lunch.” Michael swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat, remembering how he’d felt at that moment. “Right then I knew you were different. I thought you were different like I was different….only people liked you and they wanted you around.”
Isabel reached up to hug him, knowing that this was Michael’s way of saying how much he loved her and was going to miss her. “You still owe me for that lunch.” Isabel smiled through her tears at the sound he made.
“I’ll buy lunch when I come visit you in Boston.” Michael said.
Isabel tightened her hold, her heart too full to speak, feeling happy and relieved and sad and afraid all at the same time. “I’m going to miss you guys so much.”
“Me too,” Michael confessed a little hoarsely, his emotions starting to get away from him. He squeezed her tightly for a moment, then let go.
“Hey Is. Mom wanted…..” Max stopped when he saw his sister and Michael standing close together, Isabel with tear tracks on her face. He moved forward slowly. “Everything okay?”
“Yeah. Michael and I were just….making up.” Isabel smiled as she wiped at the tears. “I was just telling him how much I was going to miss you guys.”
Max nodded, glad there was not going to be any ill will between her and Michael before she left town. “So…are you all packed up or do you need help?”
“The movers are coming Tuesday and you know Jesse is leaving Wednesday to go get us settled into our new apartment.” The two boys nodded, and Isabel took a deep breath, feeling renewed tears. “Then I’m leaving Friday,” she said unnecessarily. They all knew she was leaving on Friday. There was a moment of sad silence.
Taking a deep breath, Max gestured towards the kitchen. “Mom wanted to talk to you, Is.”
“Okay.” Isabel left the living room and Max looked at Michael’s closed expression for a moment.
“You know we’re doing the right thing. I mean, you were going to stay here with Maria when we almost left. We have to let her live her own life. I wouldn’t stop you from following Maria if she was leaving.”
“I know that,” Michael said. “I’ve accepted it, okay? Let’s just finish so we can blow.” Defensiveness in every line of his posture, Michael continued his tour of the living room, scanning for left over party debris.
Max sighed, knowing that in his heart, Michael agreed with him. He would adjust eventually. They all would. Ignoring the pain in his own heart at the thought of his sister’s departure, Max helped Michael clear the rest of the living room.
When it was finally time to go, Mr. and Mrs. Evans thanked everyone profusely for their help and the teenagers promised to be at the airport to see Jesse off on Wednesday. Max left with Liz to take her home and Michael and Maria took off in the Jetta.
Maria left Michael to his morose silence, not feeling particularly talkative herself. When they reached the apartment and went inside, Michael immediately picking up the remote to start flipping channels. Maria knew that he was avoiding her, but as she sat with him in silence for a few minutes, she was suddenly aware of the intense emotions coming off of him. He usually kept everything so well blocked that she could barely feel him most of the time.
Their connection was not like Max and Liz. For all the progress Michael had made in the last year, he still didn’t allow his feelings out of their protective casing unless he was compelled too. Even during their most intense sexual moments, Michael didn’t let their connection rise above a simmer. The few times he’d let her see inside him, it was a profound experience for both of them, such as when they were in Texas.
And Maria was willing to let him control when it happened for the most part, because when it did, it was special beyond measure.
But now, she realized with a jolt that she could actually feel some of the things going on inside him. Looking over at him, his face was completely passive, but Michael’s inner turmoil was coming through to her loud and clear. Knowing she might be in for a big rejection, Maria decided that she couldn’t just ignore it, not when he was in so much pain.
Taking a deep breath, she leaned over and took the remote out of his hand, pressing the off button. Before he could say anything, she crawled onto his lap, straddling his thighs and took his face in her hands, looking into his eyes. “Tell me what’s going on.”
For a moment, Michael sat there, knowing that he’d been projecting his feelings, but unable to stop them. He didn’t want to let go. It hurt so much the few times he had, that he hated it with passion, but Maria wasn’t letting him hide. She leaned down and kissed him, using her body and her mind to break through his walls, and with a low sound of acceptance, Michael let her in.
Drawing in a breath at the flood of feelings coming at her, Maria tightened her grip on him, trying to sort through them, her heart breaking as she experienced his pain. She saw again when he watched the Evans take Isabel and Max away on the side of the road. She saw the events he’d been talking to Isabel about earlier and felt the blow to his self-esteem as the words “welfare punk” echoed in his head. She felt his intense relief at finding Isabel and Max and how his protective feelings for them grew as they all realized that they only had each other. She saw how Isabel was the one who defended him when Max’s irritation with his reckless behavior hurt him even though he tried to hide it. She saw how he always felt like he had to prove something to Max but that for all her exasperation with him, Isabel seemed to accept him for who he was and loved him unconditionally. And finally Maria saw and felt his intense fear that he was losing his family and that even though he had her, one day she would realize that she didn’t want him anymore and he would be alone.
When Maria finally broke the kiss, Michael hid his face in her chest, not wanting her to see him, knowing it was irrational because she just had. Maria held him close, feeling his struggle to control himself, and she kissed the top of his head.
“Don’t Michael. It’s okay to hurt.” She sighed into his hair. “You are not losing your family. I know how you feel, believe me…. but trust me, you aren’t losing them.”
Listening to her words, Michael thought about the things he’d seen from Maria through their connection. She knew what it was like to lose her family. When her father had left them, it had taken little Maria a long time to stop blaming herself for her parent’s mistakes. He could feel the pain that still ran deep at her father’s rejection, and he felt some of his give way. She was right.
“And you aren’t going to lose me,” she continued, stroking her hands along the back of his head. “I’ll tell you and show you as much as I have too to make you believe it, Michael. We are in this for the long haul. If the stuff you’ve pulled so far hasn’t made me leave, what makes you think you could do something that would.”
Michael finally lifted his head, wiping his hands over his eyes to get rid of the residual tears. He looked up into Maria’s loving, if slightly sardonic gaze and felt such an intense moment of love, that he couldn’t speak. Maria’s eyes widened as she felt it, and before more tears could fall, Michael was kissing the breath out of her. Maria felt joy bubble up inside her so that she had to break the kiss or choke.
“I love you too, Spaceboy,” Maria said when she could speak and slid so she could lay her head on his shoulder.
“Thank you,” Michael said quietly, and Maria felt renewed tears threaten at his words. She sniffed to stop them and shook her head against his shoulder.
“Don’t worry. You’ll get to return the favor when Liz leaves for college. Just be ready.”
“At least Max will still be here,” Michael said almost too low for her to hear, and Maria started to tell him that Liz was going to try and change his mind, but she kept quiet. No need to cross that bridge until they came to it.
“Want to go to bed?” Michael asked, his hands gentle on her hair and down her back.
“I can tell that you do,” Maria answered, shifting her hips a little, eliciting a very satisfying sound from him. It was her turn to gasp when he suddenly lifted her from his seated position so that her legs quickly wrapped around his waist and her arms tightened around his neck. Fastening his mouth to hers, Michael began to walk towards the bedroom and Maria was never sure later how they made it without hurting themselves.
********************
Max pulled up in front of the CrashDown, he and Liz both surprised for a moment to see the lights still on. But then they saw Mr. Parker inside at one of the tables, his accounting and inventory books spread out in front of him. Her father never seemed to need much sleep, Liz thought. He worked late on the books and rose early most mornings to open the restaurant. She sighed. She had to get up early tomorrow to open too. Suddenly, she was exhausted. The battle to keep her emotions in check during the party after working most of the day left her feeling drained, and strangely, near tears.
Max had reached out to touch her hair as she was staring into the CrashDown window. The drive over had been made in silence for the most part. Liz’s feelings about their discussion were coming through their connection and weighed heavily on him but he didn’t know how to fix it. Max was torn. He wanted to go with her. He’d told her that. It was just a matter of whether or not it was the right time.
Feeling his caressing hand, Liz turned back to him, and found him looking at her with a troubled expression, which grew more so as he saw her face.
“Liz……”
“No, Max. I can’t talk about this right now. I have to get up for the early shift in the morning. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Max gently took her arm as she made to get out of the car. “Liz….please. We don’t have to talk right now. Just let me…..can I hold you just for a second?”
Unable to resist the hesitant plea, Liz slid over laying her head on his shoulder, feeling the strong arms wrap around her securely. She breathed in his scent, finally unable to stop the tears from coming as it filled her body and mind with him. How was she supposed to live without this? Every time she’d walked away from him in the past, even though she thought she was doing what was best, it was like part of her was missing. Her body lived and breathed and went through the motions, but she was only half alive. Just thinking about those times hurt. She soaked his shirt with her tears, then finally pulled away.
“I have to go.”
Max clenched his fists to keep from hauling her back into his arms. He couldn’t stand that he’d made her feel this way. Her tears were like a knife in his heart and he wanted to beg her to forgive him and tell her he would do whatever she wanted if she would just stop crying. But he held his tongue. Neither one of them was in any shape to have a rational conversation about this right now and she was obviously tired and upset and she needed to sleep so she could work in the morning.
Max watched her exit the car, and felt his lungs constrict. Damn it.
“Liz…..” Max got out of the car and stopped her, taking her in his arms, even though she was stiff with resistance. “Listen to me. Nothing is set in stone. I know you don’t want to talk about it right now, but I can’t let you go when you’re so upset. We’ll figure this out. Please…...”
Staring up into his pleading eyes, Liz closed hers for a moment, then nodded. “Okay, you’re right. I’m sorry. I just…..the thought of being without you is…...”
“Me too….me too….” Max whispered, pulling her close again. She clung to him tightly, wishing there was a way to absorb him into her skin. Finally forcing herself to pull away, she looked up at him and gave him a wan smile.
“I’m okay now. I promise.” Max gazed down at her for a moment to as if to ascertain whether or not she was telling the truth. He could feel through their connection her tiredness but she was resolutely putting the decision on the back burner until a better time. Relieved, Max kissed her softly and stood watching as she turned towards the door of the CrashDown. Taking a few steps, Liz suddenly turned back to look at him.
“Call me tonight if you know….you need too.”
Max nodded, knowing he probably wouldn’t. She needed sleep to work in the morning. And hopefully he would be okay too. He was pretty tired, and now that they had resolved to talk about their dilemma some more, he felt more at peace than he did a little while ago. Max stayed until he saw her kiss her father goodnight, then headed home.
TBC.....
I was reading over at the Fanfic discussion forum a thread about feedback and the question was raised about whether or not writers liked short comments or long comments, and some people were saying that they don't leave feedback sometimes because someone else has already said what they were thinking. I just wanted to say that I appreciate each of you no matter how short or long your comments are. Of course, I love it when you give me opinions or dissect things or tell me how great I am
. But seriously, short comments are great too. It's just nice to know that you liked it if that's all you have to say. Us writers live for this stuff. So that's it. Here's the next part.
Everything to You Part 57
Coming downstairs after their discussion, Max went with his Dad to help him in the living room and outside in the back yard while Liz helped Mrs. Evans in the kitchen. Most of the party was being catered so it was just a matter of setting things up. Maria and Michael, the Valenti’s and several people from Isabel’s school as well as Jesse’s business acquaintances had been invited so there was a lot to do.
Mrs. Evans noticed that Liz was not quite her usual self, but didn’t want to pry. When Maria arrived a little while later, she kept the conversation going between the women, also noting Liz’s quiet demeanor, but decided to corner her later about her discussion with Max. The guests finally started arriving, and Mrs. Evans told them to go enjoy themselves.
When the girls found Max and Michael, they all ended up in the living room just sitting, Max and Liz on the love seat, the back of Liz’s head resting on Max’s shoulder, Michael and Maria across from them, not really saying much either. They were the only people at the party their age aside from Kyle, who seemed occupied talking with Isabel and Jesse at the moment and Isabel’s impending departure had not put either Michael or Max in a partying mood.
Michael in particular was unhappy about it. Since their encounter with Khivar at the wedding, he didn’t feel it was safe for Isabel to be away from them. Although they’d all decided that they had to stop living their lives in constant fear, Michael hadn’t felt like they should be so completely separated from each other and Boston was too far. Isabel had pointed out that she’d chosen to marry someone with a career and she couldn’t expect him to stay in Roswell just because her family didn’t want her to leave. Max overruled Michael’s objections when the discussion became heated between the two of them. Since coming back from Texas, Michael and Isabel had barely spoken.
Liz closed her eyes, wishing she were alone so she could cry some more. Thoughts of her upcoming separation from Max had cast a pall over everything. Even though she’d accepted it earlier, the more she thought about it, the more it bothered her. Her throat felt raw from suppressing her tears and she swallowed to ease it. Max’s arm tightened around her and his lips touched her hair and Liz could feel his remorse for having ruined her evening and his resignation that although he felt it was the right thing, he was as depressed as about it as she was. She could also feel his sadness over Isabel’s departure and his underlying fear for her safety. He was just as concerned as Michael about it, but didn’t feel he had the right to dictate her life after all that had happened. They were on this planet for good and Isabel had made a choice to marry a human. She couldn’t stay hidden in Roswell forever.
“Max…Michael…..can you come with me for a minute?” Mr. Evans said as he approached them. “I need your help getting some things outside.”
Michael and Max got up and followed him out to the garage, leaving Liz and Maria alone. Maria moved to the love seat, studying her friend’s face.
“Okay, what happened between you and Max? You look like your puppy just got run over by a truck.”
Liz sat back against the cushions, feeling the tears she’d been holding back seeping through. “Max explained to me why he applied to ENMU.” She shook her head. “He wants me to go to Northwestern by myself for a while.”
“Why?”
Sniffling a little, Liz explained Max’s reasons for staying in Roswell. When she finished, Maria handed her a napkin that was sitting on the end table and thought about what she’d said.
“I don’t know what to say,” Maria said finally, feeling her friend’s pain. “The reasons are good, but you guys voluntarily deciding to be apart seems so wrong. I mean, after everything you’ve been through to be together……”
“I know. That’s how I feel but…..I see Max’s point too. It’s a no win situation. As much as I may want too, I can’t insist that he come. I know he would, but it wouldn’t be fair when he feels so strongly about it. I just….I’m going to worry about him so much.”
“You know that Michael and I won’t let anything happen to him. We’ll be here for him, if he needs us.”
“I know that. Will you promise me, no matter how bad it is, to always tell me the truth about what’s going on? I know Max will try and make it sound like everything’s fine even when it isn’t just so I won’t worry but….”
“I promise, Babe. But listen, you have to stop thinking the worst. Maybe this really is exactly what Max needs to get back on his feet. And he’s right about you needing to concentrate on yourself. Whether you agree with him or not, Max feels like his problems are weighing you down, so maybe with you off doing something for yourself for a change, he won’t have the added burden of feeling guilty about holding you back.”
Maria refrained from mentioning her own feelings about Liz leaving. There was enough guilt going around without her adding to it. She was going to miss Liz severely. With Alex gone and now her other best friend leaving, it was going to be an adjustment that she wasn’t looking forward to. At least she would have Max to commiserate with.
“I understand all that in my head, Maria.” Liz stared at her friend, her dark eyes serious and sad, “It’s my heart that has the problem. I love Max so much and being apart from him is painful, but being apart from him knowing that he may be hurting or afraid or that he needs me….I don’t know if I can do it.”
“Then you need to tell him that.”
Liz nodded, wiping at her tears. “I will. I’m going to miss you so much.” Liz reached over to hug her friend and Maria returned it, trying to keep her own tears in check. “Back at ya.” She pulled away and smiled as she got up from the couch. “Let’s go get something to eat.”
The two girls linked hands and headed into the kitchen.
Max and Michael stood holding boxes full of beer and wine while Mr. Evans replaced some of the melted ice in the huge cooler with fresh ice. Then they opened the containers and helped him arrange the bottles. When they were through, Mr. Evans went with them out to the trashcans behind the house to discard the empties and the boxes.
“I wanted to talk to you two before we go back in.” Mr. Evans said as they finished. Max and Michael stopped to look at him. “I’ve noticed tonight that you and Liz and Maria have been sitting in the living room, basically ignoring everyone else and looking as though the world is coming to an end.” His expression was somewhat severe, but not unkind. “I know you both have reservations about Isabel leaving and I can’t say that I blame you. But you know Isabel better than your mother and I do and even I can tell that your attitude is upsetting her, no matter how well she hides it. We all know that as tough as she tries to appear on the outside, she’s not so tough on the inside. Especially when it comes to people she cares about. She values your opinion and looks to the two of you for support. ”
Max and Michael looked at each other guiltily. “This party is for her and her husband and whatever differences you have with her about the choices she’s made can wait until other people have left. I think you owe her that much.”
The two aliens felt the weight of Mr. Evan’s reprimand, knowing what he said was true. They’d been too busy thinking of their own feelings to notice how Isabel was feeling. As they all went back in the house, they immediately looked for their sister and found her standing with Jesse while he conversed with some of his colleagues. She appeared interested and relaxed, but when she saw her two brothers, the hurt that flashed in her eyes, although fleeting, was obvious.
Making an effort to join the party, Max and Michael got some food and stood in the dining room where most of the people had congregated. Although they felt a little out of their league in the group of somewhat older people, they found that they did have some things in common with Isabel’s college friends, realizing that they were now high school graduates and Michael found someone who did nighttime security at a different facility, so they found things to discuss. Liz and Maria, who had been talking to Kyle, were surprised to find their boyfriends suddenly in the midst of the partygoers, but they joined in and soon everyone found themselves having a reasonably good time. It was obvious to those who knew her well, that Isabel was profoundly relieved by their sudden turn of attitude and Max and Michael were glad Max’s father had spoken to them.
The party began to wind down around 11:00, and as the last of the well wisher’s left, everyone began to pitch in, helping to clean up. Isabel was going around the room with a trash bag picking up discarded plastic utensils and paper plates, when she saw a stain where someone had spilled something on the couch. As she swiped her hand over it, the stain disappeared and she smiled to herself.
“Sometimes it’s not so bad is it?”
Isabel looked up at the sound of Michael’s voice. “What’s not so bad?”
“Being an alien,” he answered, picking up a couple of napkins from the floor. He walked towards her to put them in the bag.
“It has its moments,” Isabel said. She opened the bag for him, then feeling a little awkward, she looked around for other trash. Michael watched her for a moment, then took a deep breath.
“You know I was thinking earlier about the day we first saw each other at school after we got separated. First day of school, third grade. You remember?” Isabel nodded. Of course she remembered. She’d felt his presence long before she actually saw him and when she did, it was like something that was missing had fallen into place.
Michael was talking about how he’d been trying to use food stamps to buy lunch and Mr. Trevors called him a welfare punk. She could see that the sting of those words still hurt even today. “I’m about to kick his balls up into his throat…but then I feel someone watching me….It feels like a heat lamp turned on the back of my neck, and I turn around and uh…there you are.” Michael looked away from her tearful expression. “You were sitting at a table all by yourself, and you’re staring at me. So, I walk over, I sit down. You’re still staring at me with those big eyes and ….you push your tray of food over and you say, “You can have my lunch.” Michael swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat, remembering how he’d felt at that moment. “Right then I knew you were different. I thought you were different like I was different….only people liked you and they wanted you around.”
Isabel reached up to hug him, knowing that this was Michael’s way of saying how much he loved her and was going to miss her. “You still owe me for that lunch.” Isabel smiled through her tears at the sound he made.
“I’ll buy lunch when I come visit you in Boston.” Michael said.
Isabel tightened her hold, her heart too full to speak, feeling happy and relieved and sad and afraid all at the same time. “I’m going to miss you guys so much.”
“Me too,” Michael confessed a little hoarsely, his emotions starting to get away from him. He squeezed her tightly for a moment, then let go.
“Hey Is. Mom wanted…..” Max stopped when he saw his sister and Michael standing close together, Isabel with tear tracks on her face. He moved forward slowly. “Everything okay?”
“Yeah. Michael and I were just….making up.” Isabel smiled as she wiped at the tears. “I was just telling him how much I was going to miss you guys.”
Max nodded, glad there was not going to be any ill will between her and Michael before she left town. “So…are you all packed up or do you need help?”
“The movers are coming Tuesday and you know Jesse is leaving Wednesday to go get us settled into our new apartment.” The two boys nodded, and Isabel took a deep breath, feeling renewed tears. “Then I’m leaving Friday,” she said unnecessarily. They all knew she was leaving on Friday. There was a moment of sad silence.
Taking a deep breath, Max gestured towards the kitchen. “Mom wanted to talk to you, Is.”
“Okay.” Isabel left the living room and Max looked at Michael’s closed expression for a moment.
“You know we’re doing the right thing. I mean, you were going to stay here with Maria when we almost left. We have to let her live her own life. I wouldn’t stop you from following Maria if she was leaving.”
“I know that,” Michael said. “I’ve accepted it, okay? Let’s just finish so we can blow.” Defensiveness in every line of his posture, Michael continued his tour of the living room, scanning for left over party debris.
Max sighed, knowing that in his heart, Michael agreed with him. He would adjust eventually. They all would. Ignoring the pain in his own heart at the thought of his sister’s departure, Max helped Michael clear the rest of the living room.
When it was finally time to go, Mr. and Mrs. Evans thanked everyone profusely for their help and the teenagers promised to be at the airport to see Jesse off on Wednesday. Max left with Liz to take her home and Michael and Maria took off in the Jetta.
Maria left Michael to his morose silence, not feeling particularly talkative herself. When they reached the apartment and went inside, Michael immediately picking up the remote to start flipping channels. Maria knew that he was avoiding her, but as she sat with him in silence for a few minutes, she was suddenly aware of the intense emotions coming off of him. He usually kept everything so well blocked that she could barely feel him most of the time.
Their connection was not like Max and Liz. For all the progress Michael had made in the last year, he still didn’t allow his feelings out of their protective casing unless he was compelled too. Even during their most intense sexual moments, Michael didn’t let their connection rise above a simmer. The few times he’d let her see inside him, it was a profound experience for both of them, such as when they were in Texas.
And Maria was willing to let him control when it happened for the most part, because when it did, it was special beyond measure.
But now, she realized with a jolt that she could actually feel some of the things going on inside him. Looking over at him, his face was completely passive, but Michael’s inner turmoil was coming through to her loud and clear. Knowing she might be in for a big rejection, Maria decided that she couldn’t just ignore it, not when he was in so much pain.
Taking a deep breath, she leaned over and took the remote out of his hand, pressing the off button. Before he could say anything, she crawled onto his lap, straddling his thighs and took his face in her hands, looking into his eyes. “Tell me what’s going on.”
For a moment, Michael sat there, knowing that he’d been projecting his feelings, but unable to stop them. He didn’t want to let go. It hurt so much the few times he had, that he hated it with passion, but Maria wasn’t letting him hide. She leaned down and kissed him, using her body and her mind to break through his walls, and with a low sound of acceptance, Michael let her in.
Drawing in a breath at the flood of feelings coming at her, Maria tightened her grip on him, trying to sort through them, her heart breaking as she experienced his pain. She saw again when he watched the Evans take Isabel and Max away on the side of the road. She saw the events he’d been talking to Isabel about earlier and felt the blow to his self-esteem as the words “welfare punk” echoed in his head. She felt his intense relief at finding Isabel and Max and how his protective feelings for them grew as they all realized that they only had each other. She saw how Isabel was the one who defended him when Max’s irritation with his reckless behavior hurt him even though he tried to hide it. She saw how he always felt like he had to prove something to Max but that for all her exasperation with him, Isabel seemed to accept him for who he was and loved him unconditionally. And finally Maria saw and felt his intense fear that he was losing his family and that even though he had her, one day she would realize that she didn’t want him anymore and he would be alone.
When Maria finally broke the kiss, Michael hid his face in her chest, not wanting her to see him, knowing it was irrational because she just had. Maria held him close, feeling his struggle to control himself, and she kissed the top of his head.
“Don’t Michael. It’s okay to hurt.” She sighed into his hair. “You are not losing your family. I know how you feel, believe me…. but trust me, you aren’t losing them.”
Listening to her words, Michael thought about the things he’d seen from Maria through their connection. She knew what it was like to lose her family. When her father had left them, it had taken little Maria a long time to stop blaming herself for her parent’s mistakes. He could feel the pain that still ran deep at her father’s rejection, and he felt some of his give way. She was right.
“And you aren’t going to lose me,” she continued, stroking her hands along the back of his head. “I’ll tell you and show you as much as I have too to make you believe it, Michael. We are in this for the long haul. If the stuff you’ve pulled so far hasn’t made me leave, what makes you think you could do something that would.”
Michael finally lifted his head, wiping his hands over his eyes to get rid of the residual tears. He looked up into Maria’s loving, if slightly sardonic gaze and felt such an intense moment of love, that he couldn’t speak. Maria’s eyes widened as she felt it, and before more tears could fall, Michael was kissing the breath out of her. Maria felt joy bubble up inside her so that she had to break the kiss or choke.
“I love you too, Spaceboy,” Maria said when she could speak and slid so she could lay her head on his shoulder.
“Thank you,” Michael said quietly, and Maria felt renewed tears threaten at his words. She sniffed to stop them and shook her head against his shoulder.
“Don’t worry. You’ll get to return the favor when Liz leaves for college. Just be ready.”
“At least Max will still be here,” Michael said almost too low for her to hear, and Maria started to tell him that Liz was going to try and change his mind, but she kept quiet. No need to cross that bridge until they came to it.
“Want to go to bed?” Michael asked, his hands gentle on her hair and down her back.
“I can tell that you do,” Maria answered, shifting her hips a little, eliciting a very satisfying sound from him. It was her turn to gasp when he suddenly lifted her from his seated position so that her legs quickly wrapped around his waist and her arms tightened around his neck. Fastening his mouth to hers, Michael began to walk towards the bedroom and Maria was never sure later how they made it without hurting themselves.
********************
Max pulled up in front of the CrashDown, he and Liz both surprised for a moment to see the lights still on. But then they saw Mr. Parker inside at one of the tables, his accounting and inventory books spread out in front of him. Her father never seemed to need much sleep, Liz thought. He worked late on the books and rose early most mornings to open the restaurant. She sighed. She had to get up early tomorrow to open too. Suddenly, she was exhausted. The battle to keep her emotions in check during the party after working most of the day left her feeling drained, and strangely, near tears.
Max had reached out to touch her hair as she was staring into the CrashDown window. The drive over had been made in silence for the most part. Liz’s feelings about their discussion were coming through their connection and weighed heavily on him but he didn’t know how to fix it. Max was torn. He wanted to go with her. He’d told her that. It was just a matter of whether or not it was the right time.
Feeling his caressing hand, Liz turned back to him, and found him looking at her with a troubled expression, which grew more so as he saw her face.
“Liz……”
“No, Max. I can’t talk about this right now. I have to get up for the early shift in the morning. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Max gently took her arm as she made to get out of the car. “Liz….please. We don’t have to talk right now. Just let me…..can I hold you just for a second?”
Unable to resist the hesitant plea, Liz slid over laying her head on his shoulder, feeling the strong arms wrap around her securely. She breathed in his scent, finally unable to stop the tears from coming as it filled her body and mind with him. How was she supposed to live without this? Every time she’d walked away from him in the past, even though she thought she was doing what was best, it was like part of her was missing. Her body lived and breathed and went through the motions, but she was only half alive. Just thinking about those times hurt. She soaked his shirt with her tears, then finally pulled away.
“I have to go.”
Max clenched his fists to keep from hauling her back into his arms. He couldn’t stand that he’d made her feel this way. Her tears were like a knife in his heart and he wanted to beg her to forgive him and tell her he would do whatever she wanted if she would just stop crying. But he held his tongue. Neither one of them was in any shape to have a rational conversation about this right now and she was obviously tired and upset and she needed to sleep so she could work in the morning.
Max watched her exit the car, and felt his lungs constrict. Damn it.
“Liz…..” Max got out of the car and stopped her, taking her in his arms, even though she was stiff with resistance. “Listen to me. Nothing is set in stone. I know you don’t want to talk about it right now, but I can’t let you go when you’re so upset. We’ll figure this out. Please…...”
Staring up into his pleading eyes, Liz closed hers for a moment, then nodded. “Okay, you’re right. I’m sorry. I just…..the thought of being without you is…...”
“Me too….me too….” Max whispered, pulling her close again. She clung to him tightly, wishing there was a way to absorb him into her skin. Finally forcing herself to pull away, she looked up at him and gave him a wan smile.
“I’m okay now. I promise.” Max gazed down at her for a moment to as if to ascertain whether or not she was telling the truth. He could feel through their connection her tiredness but she was resolutely putting the decision on the back burner until a better time. Relieved, Max kissed her softly and stood watching as she turned towards the door of the CrashDown. Taking a few steps, Liz suddenly turned back to look at him.
“Call me tonight if you know….you need too.”
Max nodded, knowing he probably wouldn’t. She needed sleep to work in the morning. And hopefully he would be okay too. He was pretty tired, and now that they had resolved to talk about their dilemma some more, he felt more at peace than he did a little while ago. Max stayed until he saw her kiss her father goodnight, then headed home.
TBC.....
Lisa: Do we have any food that wasn't brutally slaughtered?
Homer: Well, I think the veal died of loneliness.
Homer: Well, I think the veal died of loneliness.
Whew, I made it. I've been working on this all weekend trying to get it done.
Thanks for all the replies. I wish I could address each one individually, but it would take all night. Everyone has different opinions, which is good and bad because that means that someone is inevitably going to be disappointed. I hope that doesn't mean you'll stop reading. I love hearing from all of you.
Let me know what you think.
Everything to You Part 58
“I love that one of you and Michael. Can I have a copy?” Liz smiled at the picture she was looking at. It was on their beach trip and Michael had picked Maria up and thrown her over his shoulder to make her get in the water. Maria was yelling, but she her beautiful face was full of laughter.
“I’ll e-mail it to you,” Maria said, smiling at it too. She glanced at Kyle who was looking at the other pictures they had spread out over the table. They were at the CrashDown, she and Liz working, while Kyle had come in for lunch and to visit. Maria noticed that he seemed mesmerized by the picture he was looking at, and she leaned over to get a better look. Shaking her head, she ran her hand in front of his eyes. “Blink, Kyle. I admit they’re show stoppers, but Isabel’s breasts belong to Jesse now.”
Liz giggled as she looked over at the picture he was staring at, and Kyle had the grace to blush. He dropped the picture and picked up the next one, studiously looking at it before picking up the next one.
Maria looked at her watch. “God, I wish those people would leave already,” she said, indicating her last table. “They’ve been here since 11:00. They finished their food an hour ago and they just keep asking for refills on their drinks.”
“Mrs. Evans just said to come over whenever we get done. Besides, I have three tables left. Speaking of which…..” Liz got up to go check on them. Taking an order for a Hot Fudge Sundae and a piece of Asteroid pie, she went to the counter to make the sundae and put the pie order in.
It was Thursday, the day before Isabel was leaving. The week had been impossibly busy. A convention of school kids had come to Roswell for the week, visiting the UFO Center, taking a trip down to Carlesbad…and eating at the CrashDown almost every night. Consequently, not only was Liz constantly working, but Max had been putting in overtime at the UFO Center as well. They had hardly seen each other. Max had come in for lunch several times and dinner too, but Liz had been too busy to really be with him, and though they talked on the phone every night before they went to sleep, it was just to say goodnight and I love you.
Yesterday when Jesse left was the first time they’d spent more than a half hour in each other’s company all week. The whole group was at the airport to wish him a safe trip, and Liz and Max had taken a few minutes to themselves afterward, even though they both had to go back to work. Sitting in the Chevelle, parked behind the CrashDown, they’d started to talk, but Max said something about not having greeted her properly, leaned down to kiss her, and a weeks worth of almost complete abstinence from touching each other caught up with them. One kiss became two, then three, then they started blending into each other. If it hadn’t been for a car backfiring, bringing them back to reality, Liz figured they might still be there. As it was, she’d had to run up to her room, splash water on her face and fix her hair before going down to work, and still she knew that it was practically plastered on her forehead that she’d been making out with her unbelievably hot boyfriend before coming into work. Her cheeks were flushed and her lips were swollen and sensitive. Every time she touched them with her tongue, the feel of their sensitivity reminded her of Max's unrelenting kisses, and her body would react.
Just as it was reacting now, she thought, feeling the results of her thoughts deep inside. There had been an air of desperation to their kisses that hadn’t been there before. Liz didn’t know if it was because they hadn’t hardly seen each other all week, or because of the decision still hanging over their heads, but whatever it was, she had to take a moment to breath just thinking about it, before taking the desserts back to her table.
“So the whole thing was a false alarm, and I felt really stupid when we got back because I started like the next day,” Maria was saying telling Kyle about her pregnancy scare when Liz walked back to the table they were at. Kyle shook his head.
“Always have to be the center of attention, don’t you?” Kyle said, then looked at Liz. “Remember that time in 5th grade when we took that field trip to Carlsbad and she got bit by that spider and had to be taken to the emergency room? And what about that time in 7th during our first co-ed dance at school and she sprained her ankle and had to go again?”
“Hey, that wasn’t my fault. Matt Long was trying to impress Liz with his non existent dancing skills and crashed into me after tripping over his own feet.” Maria started gathering the pictures together. “And besides, I wouldn’t talk if I was you. Has Jenna heard about your “Backstreet Boy” phase?
Kyle’s face paled a little, and Liz had to laugh. “Just give it up Kyle. You will never live that down. You can’t win.”
“She can’t hold that over my head forever,” Kyle said, when Maria had gone to put the pictures away. “I was young. I was impressionable.”
“I totally understand,” Liz said solemnly. She smiled as he scowled at her, and changed the subject. “When’s Jenna coming back?”
“Next Friday.”
Maria walked back up. “When is she leaving for UCLA?”
Kyle smiled. “Actually, she’s not.”
“Wait a minute. I thought she had her acceptance. Wasn’t her father all Gung ho for her to go to his alma mater?”
“Yeah, he was but Jenna told him that she wasn’t ready to go yet. She decided that she wanted to stay here for the first year….maybe two.”
Kyle was smiling a smile that neither Liz nor Maria had seen in a long time, and they both realized that it was a look of happiness that had been missing from him since before he’d broken up with Liz so long ago. Since before aliens had come into his life.
“She’s staying for you?” Maria asked, glancing at Liz, seeing the frown that creased her forehead.
“Yes and no. She’s staying because she decided that she isn’t ready to move to LA and attend a big university yet, but….she’s also staying because she said she doesn’t want us to be so far apart.”
“So you guys are serious, then?”
“Well….yeah…..I mean……she’s different. She’s smart and funny….and she laughs at my jokes.” Kyle felt his cheeks redden a little, not used to talking about this kind of thing with anyone. At least not seriously.
“Do you realize that you named her assets without mentioning any of her body parts?” Maria teased him, but Liz jabbed her, seeing Kyle’s embarrassment. Maria frowned at her, then relented. “Seriously, that’s great Kyle. Anyone who laughs at your jokes is a keeper.”
Maria grinned at the withering look Kyle gave her, but Liz frowned pensively. “I think that’s really sweet that she’s staying Kyle. She must really care about you a lot.”
“She does…at least….she says she does.” Kyle stopped, but Liz and Maria knew that he was thinking about Tess all of the sudden, and they looked at each other. Another one of Tess’s victims.
“She does Kyle,” Liz said. “Anyone can tell by just looking at her when she’s with you. And she’s willing to stay in Roswell instead of going away to college….that’s a huge decision.”
Maria looked at Liz, hearing the odd note in her voice, but out of the corner of her eye, she finally saw her customers get up to go to the cash register. “Hallelujah,” she said and headed over to take their money.
Liz went as well, noting that two of her tables were making motions to leave too. After they paid, she and Maria got the bus tub and started cleaning. Kyle left after telling them he would see them tomorrow. Isabel had already said her goodbyes to him and his father. She went over to their house and thanked them for everything they’d done for her and Michael and Max, but Kyle was going to be at the airport when she left. Liz’s last table finally finished and she took the bus tub over to clean it as Maria came out of the back and helped her finish.
The two girls gratefully turned the restaurant over to the next shift, heading upstairs to Liz’s room to change clothes. Liz seemed quiet, so Maria didn’t disturb her thoughts. She went into the bathroom and when she came out, she found Liz standing by her desk staring down at some papers sitting on it. She had a far away look on her face, and Maria didn’t say anything to her as she pulled on her own clothes, but when Liz didn’t move, she finally spoke up.
“Liz. Liz….” Finally turning at the sound of Maria’s voice, Liz looked at her inquiringly.
“What?”
“You’re just standing there. What’s wrong?’
“Nothing. Nothing……I’m just…..thinking about something.” She moved to her dresser and quickly pulled the band out of her hair and combed it. “Have you got your stuff?”
Maria held up the bag. “Yeah.”
“I’m ready then.”
The two girls headed downstairs, Liz stopping to tell her Dad where they were going. As they got into the Jetta, Liz put on her seatbelt and looked pensively out the window, still thinking. She wanted to talk to Max right away, but she knew she wouldn’t be able to. This was Isabel’s last day here. He’d spent the day with his family and now she and Maria were going to join them for dinner and the rest of the evening. She knew that the next couple of days were going to be hard on him, no matter how brave of a face he tried to put on it for Isabel’s sake and she needed to be there for him. Their decision about their future could wait.
*******************************
“I remember that,” Isabel said, looking at the videotape of her and Max at the mall. The whole day had been like this, talking about old times, looking at pictures. Now videos. In this one, she and Max were two 7 year olds clinging to each other as they waited in line with the other families to have their pictures made with Santa Claus. Neither one of them looked particularly thrilled.
Staring at their little faces, Max remembered too. Even though they had been living with their parents for over a year by that time, he and Isabel had still felt out of place and alien in their new world and the big man in the red suit had frightened them. When it was their turn, Isabel had resolutely decided that if those other children could do it, then she could too, but when she tried to get Max to come with her, he’d hung back, his huge hazel eyes begging her not to make him go. Max could hear Diane’s voice in the background encouraging him, but it was his sister who finally convinced him.
They could communicate verbally, but Max could see by the looks on both their faces that Isabel was talking to him mentally. The ability had faded somewhat by then, but it would not completely go away for another year or so. Large teardrops had started to drip from his eyes, but Isabel held onto him firmly as she lead them up to the large man’s lap. They were each lifted to sit on a knee, but Max would not relinquish his grip on Isabel’s hand. The mall Santa, being used to frightened children, just let Max be, talking mostly to Isabel who haltingly answered his questions for both of them.
They could still hear Diane’s voice in the background, trying to get Max to smile for the camera, but his little face remained solemn, resigned but unhappy, and suddenly, Max was reminded of Zan. He remembered the exact same expression in some of the pictures he had from the computer. He dropped his eyes away from the picture on the television, feeling a new pain take up residence next to the one that had taken occupancy because of his sister’s impending departure. He didn’t need to be reminded of Zan’s ordeal today.
“Good heavens, did I really do that?” Diane looked distressed as she stared at the television. “I always told myself I wouldn’t be one of those mothers that forced their children to sit on a stranger’s lap just for a picture, but there I am. How horrible.”
Max had to smile, especially when he saw Isabel’s. “Don’t worry Mom. We weren’t scarred for life.”
Diane looked at her children’s indulgent smiles and a reluctant smile of her own emerged. It turned poignant when she realized that it was going to be a long time before they would be together again looking at her with that identical expression on their faces. Sniffing lightly to keep back the sudden tears, she turned back to the video, and felt her husband’s hand on her shoulder. She covered it with her own in thanks.
“Oh look there’s Grandma. I loved that doll.” Isabel smiled in remembrance as she saw the porcelain doll her grandmother had given her for Christmas that year. She still had it, packed up with their things on the way to their new apartment. She watched as her younger self played with the doll, changing its clothes and combing its hair. Looking at that hair, she realized that some time since the video was made, she’d changed the doll’s hair color. It was now blond like hers used to be, not the brown it had originally been. It was one of the first things she’d experimented on when she discovered she had powers. Actually, all the dolls she’d had ended up with different hair color and in some cases, skin color once she’d discovered her powers. Isabel glanced at her mother, wondering why she never noticed.
Looking back at the television, she saw that the tape had switched to her 8th birthday party. They were outside in the backyard, a table set up with hats and plates. Little girls and boys were running around and the parents were trying to gather them up to sit down for cake and ice cream. The camera was mostly focused on Isabel but when she started asking where Max was, it followed her around as she tried to find him. Finally, she spotted him and went running. He was sitting by himself on the swing set, holding a paper horn, apparently watching the other children but not participating. Isabel grasped his hand and pulled him with her over to the table next to her chair at the head, as the birthday girl. When the candles were finally lit and the birthday guests sang Happy Birthday, she whispered something to him and they both leaned over to blow out the candles. Everyone clapped and little Isabel smiled at her brother over the cake, who actually smiled back, small dimples showing at the corners of his mouth.
Isabel glanced at her brother with a small smile of nostalgia, and Max returned it just as he had in the video. Watching their lives evolve on videotape only confirmed something he already knew. If it hadn’t been for Isabel, Max’s life would have turned out quite differently. It was Isabel who’d encouraged him to start trying to fit into their new lives on earth when he would have stayed in his protective shell after the Evans found them. Watching her embrace the love that Diane and Phillip couldn’t wait to shower on their adopted children had persuaded him to let his new parents into his heart and allow their comfort and love to ease his fears. When they finally went to school, she was the one who attracted friends and made sure that Max was included in their games and parties. He’d been spared some of the more painful rituals of childhood because he’d been Isabel Evans brother.
And while he’d hidden behind his tree, Isabel had chosen instead to have a life, even if it was only a partial one. Few people knew her beyond her Ice Princess persona, but that changed when Liz was shot. The humans that they had finally allowed into their lives, especially Alex and now Jesse had seen the vulnerable person Isabel hid from the world. For all his fears about Jesse’s knowledge of their secret, Max was happy for her that she’d found someone to love who loved her for herself, secrets and all.
“Look at how pretty you look, Honey.” Diane sniffed again watching Isabel’s smiling face as she walked down the aisle at her wedding on her father’s arm. Isabel and her mother held hands as they watched the ceremony together. When it was over, Max’s father handed out tissues to his wife and daughter and turned off the tape player.
“I think that’s enough nostalgia for one day. I, for one, am thirsty. Anyone else?”
There were nods all around as everyone got up from the couch. Isabel was dabbing at her eyes as she walked. “I’m going to go up for a minute and fix my face. I’ll be right back.” She disappeared up the stairs while everyone else went into the kitchen.
A few minutes later, Max headed up the stairs himself. His mother had gotten a phone call and his father had gone into his office for a moment. Since Isabel had not reappeared, he went looking for her. Coming to the top stair, he heard a noise and found Isabel in his room. She was sitting on the bed, the pictures of Zan in her hand.
Max approached her and she glanced up, smiling through her tears as he sat next to her on the bed. They both looked down at the pictures for a moment. “He was so beautiful Max. I wish…..I wish…..” Isabel couldn’t finish her thought as her throat clogged with her tears.
“I know. Me too.” He wasn’t going to cry. Max pushed the tears in his heart down to a place where they couldn’t escape. At least right now. He had to keep it together until after Isabel left tomorrow. Then he could break down. When she was gone. Swallowing hard, he got up from the bed so he wouldn’t have to look at the pictures anymore.
Isabel watched him move away and glanced down at the pictures one more time before putting them back on his nightstand. Despite the fact that he hadn’t been quite as vocal as Michael in protesting her leaving, she knew he was worried about her as well and that he was putting on a good face to help make the transition easier for her. They might not have the mental telepathy they did as children, but she could still pick up on his feelings pretty well. As much as she loved Jesse, moving away from her brothers was like losing a limb. It was going to be a hard adjustment.
Getting up from the bed, Isabel ventured closer. “Max…..”
He turned to look at her, seeing an openness in his sister’s expression that only appeared when they were alone and she had something really important to say.
“I want to tell you something that I don’t think I ever told you.” Isabel looked down at her hands, and Max could this was difficult for her because she hardly ever allowed herself to look this vulnerable.
“I know that when you saved Liz…..Michael and I….were really hard on you. Even after she proved that she was trustworthy……I still….didn’t want to give her a chance. I want you to know the reason for that.” Isabel took a deep breath.
“I was jealous. For all of those years…..you and me and Michael….we only needed each other. And when you saved Liz…..I knew that I was going to lose you.”
“You didn’t lose me Isabel.”
“Not in the sense that you wouldn’t be there for me, I know that,” Isabel said. “But I know you, Max. You have so much love to give and I knew how lonely you were. How much you wanted to find someone to share that with.” She looked down again. “How much you wanted to share it with Liz.” She shook her head and looked up, and Max was surprised at the guilt in her expression. “Before the shooting, I knew all of those things and I still…deep down inside…..was glad that you hadn’t given in to your desire to tell her how you felt about her not only because I was afraid of what they might do to us if anyone found out our secret…..but because then…..then you wouldn’t need me anymore.”
Stepping forward, Max held out his hand. “Isabel…..”
“No Max, let me finish.” She closed her eyes, then opened them to look at her brother’s face. “I was wrong. I was selfish and I’m sorry. Liz has turned out to be the best thing that ever happened to you….to us. Without her, none of us would have found love. We would never have let anyone into our lives….never trusted anyone…never lived. And even though many bad things have happened…..we have so much more to be thankful for. I mean…Mom and Dad know our secret….Michael has Maria and I’ve never seen him so happy…..I have Jesse….and you finally have the person you’ve always wanted….and she loves you so much. She loves you the way you deserve to be loved.”
Enfolding his sister into his arms, Max closed his eyes to hold in the tears, afraid of the emotions so close to the surface. He couldn’t speak, but he knew she could feel his love for her.
Isabel let her tears fall, dampening his shirt, clutching him tightly. “Be happy Max. Don’t be afraid of it. You and Liz deserve it.” Her words were muffled, but the love behind them was clear. Max nodded against her hair. They stood that way for a moment, feeling the strength of the bond that held them together as brother and sister, and they knew that distance and circumstances could never break it. They didn’t know if regular human siblings felt it the way they did, they only knew that it was something else to be grateful for.
Hearing a noise, Max and Isabel turned toward the door and found Michael standing there. He’d had to work part of the day, and Mrs. Evans had told him she thought Max and Isabel were upstairs when he’d come in. He’d heard Isabel’s tearful confession as he was approaching the door and hadn’t wanted to intrude.
For a moment they all just stared at each other, then Isabel walked over and grabbed Michael’s hand, drawing him into their circle. The three of them embraced, holding each other tightly for a moment, then they did something they hadn’t done since they were children. They opened their hearts and minds to each other, letting the unique connection that bound them together as alien human hybrids come to life. They stared at each other, holding hands as pieces of their lives flashed between them, their feelings for each other permeating the connection, lighting the room with their love and commitment to each other.
Finally letting the connection fade to its usual intensity, they blinked their eyes and let their hands unclasp. The feelings of unity didn’t fade, however. None of them could remember the last time they’d connected like that. They’d stopped doing it as children, when the awkwardness of puberty and the need for privacy began. Now that they were young adults, the connection was more focused, the three of them able to block the things they wanted to keep private. They realized now that by not connecting with each other, they’d been missing out, letting circumstances and imagined fears keep them from experiencing the unique support that only they were capable of. It was a sad revelation, considering the times over the last few years they could have used such support….but a gift at the same time. They would never let things come between them again.
Isabel was the first one to smile and Max felt his lips curl in reaction to her expression, glancing over at Michael who surprised both of them by smiling as well. They all heard the doorbell at the same time, and looked at each other before moving out of the room to go answer it in tacit agreement. Michael put his arm around Isabel’s shoulder as the walked down the stairs, and she laid her head against his shoulder for a moment. The sadness of her departure was still very much a part of all of their feelings, but their reconnection had softened the blow.
When they entered the living room, Max saw Liz greeting his father. His eyes took in her slim figure in jeans and a crop tank top, his heartbeat speeding up just looking at her. God, he’d missed her this week. Their few minutes in the car yesterday had not been nearly enough to satisfy his need for her. Apparently his feelings communicated to her without his being aware of them because suddenly she was looking at him, a blush staining her cheeks. Max walked up to her, his hand automatically finding hers.
“Hey,” she said softly, looking up at him.
“Hey,” he answered, his eyes moving over her features with loving thoroughness. He forced himself to look away when he felt himself being pulled into her gaze because standing there in front of his father while they devoured each other was too awkward. He squeezed her hand, letting her know that he would make up for it later.
Mrs. Evans came down the stairs and said dinner was pretty much ready, so everyone helped get it on the table and they sat down to eat. Conversation was kept light and when it was over, the table was cleared and they went into the living room. Maria pulled out the pictures from their trip and after everyone had had a chance to look at them, she got up and retrieved another bag, and pulled out some wrapped packages.
“I saved these for last because I wanted to give you guys something special.” She handed a wrapped package to Isabel, Michael, Max and the Evans. “I loved this and thought you might want a copy.”
Liz already knew what they were, but she looked over Max’s shoulder as he unwrapped his. Before he could get the wrapping all the way off, he heard his mother’s “Oh”, and looked up to see her staring at a framed picture in her hand. Quickly pulling off the rest of the wrapping, Max looked down.
It had been taken at the beach on their trip. He and Michael and Isabel were sitting on beach chairs, outside in the sun, Isabel in between the two boys. They were leaning against each other….and they were laughing. All three of them. Max couldn’t remember what was so funny, but it had obviously been pretty good because he knew he’d never seen them looking so carefree.
“Maria, thank you,” Isabel said, staring at their happy faces, suddenly feeling tearful again. She’d cried a river all ready and it wasn’t even time for her to leave yet.
The other’s echoed Isabel’s sentiment, and Maria smiled. “You’re welcome.” She pulled out some more pictures from the bag. “I also have this one for you, Mr. and Mrs. Evans. I didn’t frame it because I didn’t know if you’d want to enlarge it or what.” She handed them the picture.
Max and Isabel were standing on the beach, the ocean in the background. They had posed for this one, but Maria had zoomed in the lens so it was a close up. Max had his arm around Isabel’s shoulder and their heads were close together, Isabel’s tilted towards Max. The smiles on their faces were subdued as well, but spoke of contentment and their feelings for each other rather than laughter. Mrs. Evans passed the picture to her husband.
“It’s lovely, Maria. Thank you.”
“If you want the negative, just let me know. I have more copies for you guys too,” Maria said, passing copies to Isabel, Max and Michael.
Mr. Evans handed the picture back to his wife, who stared at it for a moment, tears coming to her eyes. Wiping at them surreptitiously, she got up from the couch. “I’m going to get dessert ready.”
Isabel asked to see a few of the other pictures again so she could get Maria to e-mail them when they got their computer set up, so she and Liz and Maria pulled them out to look. The others sat talking for a few minutes before Max decided to go get something else to drink. When he got to the kitchen, he stopped in surprise, seeing his mother standing at the counter, a tissue up to her eyes as she cried. It wasn’t exactly an unusual occurrence since Isabel had made her announcement about leaving, but this was the hardest he’d ever seen her do it. Moving forward cautiously, he approached his mother.
“Mom…..”
“Oh, Max,” Diane looked up and tried to smile, but failed miserably. She looked away, dabbing at her eyes with the soggy tissue. “Don’t pay attention to me. I know you’re sick to death of seeing me blubber over Isabel leaving.” She took the clean tissue that he offered her from the box. “It’s just…..she’s my little girl and she’s married now…and moving away to start her own life.”
“I know,” Max said, meaning it. He knew exactly how she was feeling. His sister wasn’t a little girl anymore, but that didn’t mean he felt any less protective of her. Max reached out to hug his mother, and she gratefully hugged him back.
“At least I’ll have you for a while. Won’t I?” Diane asked, knowing that Max had been considering moving away with Liz for college, but had been debating going to ENMU as well.
Liz had come looking for Max when he hadn’t reappeared in the living room, thinking he and his mother might need help with the dessert, but she stopped short just inside the doorway when she heard Mrs. Evans’ words. Max looked up from his mother’s arms to see her standing there, his mouth open to reply, but no sound came out for a moment. Clearing his throat, he answered. “I…uh….we haven’t decided yet, Mom.”
Diane pulled away and saw Liz, realizing after a moment that this was obviously an awkward subject. She picked up the tray she’d set up with the dishes and dessert. “I’ll take this out to the living room.” She left them alone.
“So your Mom seemed kind of upset.” Liz said.
“Yeah. She’s been having these little episodes since Isabel told her she was moving.” They approached each other a little warily. “Liz….about what you heard…..”
Liz shook her head. “Not right now, Max. Isabel’s leaving tomorrow. We can worry about it after that.” She slipped her arms around his waist, leaning her head against his chest.
“Okay,” Max answered, fitting her small frame to his larger one.
“I missed you,” Liz whispered, luxuriating in the feel of his solid strength against her. Lifting her head to kiss him, she slipped her hand behind his head, pulling it down to her lips.
“God….Liz….” Max couldn’t even put into words how much he suddenly needed her at that moment. All of the tension he’d been feeling over everything going in their lives suddenly overwhelmed him in a blinding rush. His lips crushed hers in a desperately heated kiss. Reaching up to frame her face with his hands, Max delved into the recesses of her mouth, drowning in her taste, unable to get enough.
Liz heard herself moan, her hands clutching his hair as she kissed him back with all the pent up longing of the last few days. Yesterday’s make out session had only fanned the flames. Unfortunately, making out in his mother’s kitchen while everyone else was right in the other room wasn’t much better. The sound of their heavy breathing finally penetrated Liz’s consciousness and she forced herself to pull back from Max’s demanding lips. He wouldn’t let her go at first, leaning forward to capture them again and then again.
“Max…we can’t do this here.”
The sound of her husky voice sent a shiver of desire down his spine, but her words penetrated the sexual haze that had taken over his brain. Max suddenly became aware of the way he was clutching the back of Liz’s shirt in his hand causing it to ride up her back exposing her soft skin to his fingers. His other hand was tangled in her hair, keeping her lips where he wanted them, and as he pulled back slightly, he saw that they were red and swollen from his assault of them.
Control. He’d been out of control. Forcing himself to unclench his grip on her, Max eased away slightly, almost losing it again as Liz’s eyes opened languorously to stare up at him, desire plainly written in the parted lips and dazed look. He wanted to keep kissing her just to see that look on her face again and again. No, he wanted to do more than kiss her, he thought as his body continued to throb with unfulfilled desire against hers.
Liz stared up into the luminous eyes gazing down at her, seeing something flicker in them before he eased his hold on her. Breathing deeply to gain control, Max watched while Liz smoothed her hair, straightening her clothes.
“Liz…..I’m sorry.”
Looking up at him in surprise, Liz stared at his strained expression, realizing that he was feeling guilty but not knowing why. “Why are you sorry?”
“For getting out of control. Everything is just so…messed up right now and I ….we haven’t been together much this week and…..I just needed…….” Max stopped, running his hands through his hair in frustration, irritated with how needy he sounded and how he’d taken advantage of her.
Realizing what was going on, Liz gazed at him for a moment in exasperation. “Max don’t apologize for needing me. I thought we had this discussion. Did you not notice how I was responding a minute ago? Was I acting like I didn’t want you to kiss me? I’m pretty sure I was the one who started it.”
“I know but…..”
“No buts, Max. We were kissing each other….needing each other,” she emphasized. “It was giving and taking, just like it’s supposed to be. And trust me…” Liz slipped her arms around his waist to smile up at him suggestively. “I plan on doing a lot more of it.”
Staring down into her enticing dark eyes, Max felt his misgivings ease a little. “I’m going to hold you to that,” he said, leaning down to kiss her one more time, but this time, it was short and sweet.
Liz returned his kiss and the two of them headed back into the living room. But even as they were walking, the look she’d seen in his eyes plagued her. For just a moment, she’d seen fear. Why was he so afraid of needing her? This issue seemed to be rearing its head again and again lately.
They still hadn’t taken their physical relationship any farther than kissing, but just as they had promised each other, they were gradually moving in that direction and Liz was happy with they’re progress….and frustrated. They needed some time alone. Not only to explore that progress but to get their feelings out in the open about where their lives were headed.
Liz smiled absently at Mrs. Evans as she handed her a plate full of dessert, her mind still dwelling on what just happened. She was beginning to think there was more going on here than even Max realized. She would have to think about it.
TBC......
Thanks for all the replies. I wish I could address each one individually, but it would take all night. Everyone has different opinions, which is good and bad because that means that someone is inevitably going to be disappointed. I hope that doesn't mean you'll stop reading. I love hearing from all of you.
Let me know what you think.
Everything to You Part 58
“I love that one of you and Michael. Can I have a copy?” Liz smiled at the picture she was looking at. It was on their beach trip and Michael had picked Maria up and thrown her over his shoulder to make her get in the water. Maria was yelling, but she her beautiful face was full of laughter.
“I’ll e-mail it to you,” Maria said, smiling at it too. She glanced at Kyle who was looking at the other pictures they had spread out over the table. They were at the CrashDown, she and Liz working, while Kyle had come in for lunch and to visit. Maria noticed that he seemed mesmerized by the picture he was looking at, and she leaned over to get a better look. Shaking her head, she ran her hand in front of his eyes. “Blink, Kyle. I admit they’re show stoppers, but Isabel’s breasts belong to Jesse now.”
Liz giggled as she looked over at the picture he was staring at, and Kyle had the grace to blush. He dropped the picture and picked up the next one, studiously looking at it before picking up the next one.
Maria looked at her watch. “God, I wish those people would leave already,” she said, indicating her last table. “They’ve been here since 11:00. They finished their food an hour ago and they just keep asking for refills on their drinks.”
“Mrs. Evans just said to come over whenever we get done. Besides, I have three tables left. Speaking of which…..” Liz got up to go check on them. Taking an order for a Hot Fudge Sundae and a piece of Asteroid pie, she went to the counter to make the sundae and put the pie order in.
It was Thursday, the day before Isabel was leaving. The week had been impossibly busy. A convention of school kids had come to Roswell for the week, visiting the UFO Center, taking a trip down to Carlesbad…and eating at the CrashDown almost every night. Consequently, not only was Liz constantly working, but Max had been putting in overtime at the UFO Center as well. They had hardly seen each other. Max had come in for lunch several times and dinner too, but Liz had been too busy to really be with him, and though they talked on the phone every night before they went to sleep, it was just to say goodnight and I love you.
Yesterday when Jesse left was the first time they’d spent more than a half hour in each other’s company all week. The whole group was at the airport to wish him a safe trip, and Liz and Max had taken a few minutes to themselves afterward, even though they both had to go back to work. Sitting in the Chevelle, parked behind the CrashDown, they’d started to talk, but Max said something about not having greeted her properly, leaned down to kiss her, and a weeks worth of almost complete abstinence from touching each other caught up with them. One kiss became two, then three, then they started blending into each other. If it hadn’t been for a car backfiring, bringing them back to reality, Liz figured they might still be there. As it was, she’d had to run up to her room, splash water on her face and fix her hair before going down to work, and still she knew that it was practically plastered on her forehead that she’d been making out with her unbelievably hot boyfriend before coming into work. Her cheeks were flushed and her lips were swollen and sensitive. Every time she touched them with her tongue, the feel of their sensitivity reminded her of Max's unrelenting kisses, and her body would react.
Just as it was reacting now, she thought, feeling the results of her thoughts deep inside. There had been an air of desperation to their kisses that hadn’t been there before. Liz didn’t know if it was because they hadn’t hardly seen each other all week, or because of the decision still hanging over their heads, but whatever it was, she had to take a moment to breath just thinking about it, before taking the desserts back to her table.
“So the whole thing was a false alarm, and I felt really stupid when we got back because I started like the next day,” Maria was saying telling Kyle about her pregnancy scare when Liz walked back to the table they were at. Kyle shook his head.
“Always have to be the center of attention, don’t you?” Kyle said, then looked at Liz. “Remember that time in 5th grade when we took that field trip to Carlsbad and she got bit by that spider and had to be taken to the emergency room? And what about that time in 7th during our first co-ed dance at school and she sprained her ankle and had to go again?”
“Hey, that wasn’t my fault. Matt Long was trying to impress Liz with his non existent dancing skills and crashed into me after tripping over his own feet.” Maria started gathering the pictures together. “And besides, I wouldn’t talk if I was you. Has Jenna heard about your “Backstreet Boy” phase?
Kyle’s face paled a little, and Liz had to laugh. “Just give it up Kyle. You will never live that down. You can’t win.”
“She can’t hold that over my head forever,” Kyle said, when Maria had gone to put the pictures away. “I was young. I was impressionable.”
“I totally understand,” Liz said solemnly. She smiled as he scowled at her, and changed the subject. “When’s Jenna coming back?”
“Next Friday.”
Maria walked back up. “When is she leaving for UCLA?”
Kyle smiled. “Actually, she’s not.”
“Wait a minute. I thought she had her acceptance. Wasn’t her father all Gung ho for her to go to his alma mater?”
“Yeah, he was but Jenna told him that she wasn’t ready to go yet. She decided that she wanted to stay here for the first year….maybe two.”
Kyle was smiling a smile that neither Liz nor Maria had seen in a long time, and they both realized that it was a look of happiness that had been missing from him since before he’d broken up with Liz so long ago. Since before aliens had come into his life.
“She’s staying for you?” Maria asked, glancing at Liz, seeing the frown that creased her forehead.
“Yes and no. She’s staying because she decided that she isn’t ready to move to LA and attend a big university yet, but….she’s also staying because she said she doesn’t want us to be so far apart.”
“So you guys are serious, then?”
“Well….yeah…..I mean……she’s different. She’s smart and funny….and she laughs at my jokes.” Kyle felt his cheeks redden a little, not used to talking about this kind of thing with anyone. At least not seriously.
“Do you realize that you named her assets without mentioning any of her body parts?” Maria teased him, but Liz jabbed her, seeing Kyle’s embarrassment. Maria frowned at her, then relented. “Seriously, that’s great Kyle. Anyone who laughs at your jokes is a keeper.”
Maria grinned at the withering look Kyle gave her, but Liz frowned pensively. “I think that’s really sweet that she’s staying Kyle. She must really care about you a lot.”
“She does…at least….she says she does.” Kyle stopped, but Liz and Maria knew that he was thinking about Tess all of the sudden, and they looked at each other. Another one of Tess’s victims.
“She does Kyle,” Liz said. “Anyone can tell by just looking at her when she’s with you. And she’s willing to stay in Roswell instead of going away to college….that’s a huge decision.”
Maria looked at Liz, hearing the odd note in her voice, but out of the corner of her eye, she finally saw her customers get up to go to the cash register. “Hallelujah,” she said and headed over to take their money.
Liz went as well, noting that two of her tables were making motions to leave too. After they paid, she and Maria got the bus tub and started cleaning. Kyle left after telling them he would see them tomorrow. Isabel had already said her goodbyes to him and his father. She went over to their house and thanked them for everything they’d done for her and Michael and Max, but Kyle was going to be at the airport when she left. Liz’s last table finally finished and she took the bus tub over to clean it as Maria came out of the back and helped her finish.
The two girls gratefully turned the restaurant over to the next shift, heading upstairs to Liz’s room to change clothes. Liz seemed quiet, so Maria didn’t disturb her thoughts. She went into the bathroom and when she came out, she found Liz standing by her desk staring down at some papers sitting on it. She had a far away look on her face, and Maria didn’t say anything to her as she pulled on her own clothes, but when Liz didn’t move, she finally spoke up.
“Liz. Liz….” Finally turning at the sound of Maria’s voice, Liz looked at her inquiringly.
“What?”
“You’re just standing there. What’s wrong?’
“Nothing. Nothing……I’m just…..thinking about something.” She moved to her dresser and quickly pulled the band out of her hair and combed it. “Have you got your stuff?”
Maria held up the bag. “Yeah.”
“I’m ready then.”
The two girls headed downstairs, Liz stopping to tell her Dad where they were going. As they got into the Jetta, Liz put on her seatbelt and looked pensively out the window, still thinking. She wanted to talk to Max right away, but she knew she wouldn’t be able to. This was Isabel’s last day here. He’d spent the day with his family and now she and Maria were going to join them for dinner and the rest of the evening. She knew that the next couple of days were going to be hard on him, no matter how brave of a face he tried to put on it for Isabel’s sake and she needed to be there for him. Their decision about their future could wait.
*******************************
“I remember that,” Isabel said, looking at the videotape of her and Max at the mall. The whole day had been like this, talking about old times, looking at pictures. Now videos. In this one, she and Max were two 7 year olds clinging to each other as they waited in line with the other families to have their pictures made with Santa Claus. Neither one of them looked particularly thrilled.
Staring at their little faces, Max remembered too. Even though they had been living with their parents for over a year by that time, he and Isabel had still felt out of place and alien in their new world and the big man in the red suit had frightened them. When it was their turn, Isabel had resolutely decided that if those other children could do it, then she could too, but when she tried to get Max to come with her, he’d hung back, his huge hazel eyes begging her not to make him go. Max could hear Diane’s voice in the background encouraging him, but it was his sister who finally convinced him.
They could communicate verbally, but Max could see by the looks on both their faces that Isabel was talking to him mentally. The ability had faded somewhat by then, but it would not completely go away for another year or so. Large teardrops had started to drip from his eyes, but Isabel held onto him firmly as she lead them up to the large man’s lap. They were each lifted to sit on a knee, but Max would not relinquish his grip on Isabel’s hand. The mall Santa, being used to frightened children, just let Max be, talking mostly to Isabel who haltingly answered his questions for both of them.
They could still hear Diane’s voice in the background, trying to get Max to smile for the camera, but his little face remained solemn, resigned but unhappy, and suddenly, Max was reminded of Zan. He remembered the exact same expression in some of the pictures he had from the computer. He dropped his eyes away from the picture on the television, feeling a new pain take up residence next to the one that had taken occupancy because of his sister’s impending departure. He didn’t need to be reminded of Zan’s ordeal today.
“Good heavens, did I really do that?” Diane looked distressed as she stared at the television. “I always told myself I wouldn’t be one of those mothers that forced their children to sit on a stranger’s lap just for a picture, but there I am. How horrible.”
Max had to smile, especially when he saw Isabel’s. “Don’t worry Mom. We weren’t scarred for life.”
Diane looked at her children’s indulgent smiles and a reluctant smile of her own emerged. It turned poignant when she realized that it was going to be a long time before they would be together again looking at her with that identical expression on their faces. Sniffing lightly to keep back the sudden tears, she turned back to the video, and felt her husband’s hand on her shoulder. She covered it with her own in thanks.
“Oh look there’s Grandma. I loved that doll.” Isabel smiled in remembrance as she saw the porcelain doll her grandmother had given her for Christmas that year. She still had it, packed up with their things on the way to their new apartment. She watched as her younger self played with the doll, changing its clothes and combing its hair. Looking at that hair, she realized that some time since the video was made, she’d changed the doll’s hair color. It was now blond like hers used to be, not the brown it had originally been. It was one of the first things she’d experimented on when she discovered she had powers. Actually, all the dolls she’d had ended up with different hair color and in some cases, skin color once she’d discovered her powers. Isabel glanced at her mother, wondering why she never noticed.
Looking back at the television, she saw that the tape had switched to her 8th birthday party. They were outside in the backyard, a table set up with hats and plates. Little girls and boys were running around and the parents were trying to gather them up to sit down for cake and ice cream. The camera was mostly focused on Isabel but when she started asking where Max was, it followed her around as she tried to find him. Finally, she spotted him and went running. He was sitting by himself on the swing set, holding a paper horn, apparently watching the other children but not participating. Isabel grasped his hand and pulled him with her over to the table next to her chair at the head, as the birthday girl. When the candles were finally lit and the birthday guests sang Happy Birthday, she whispered something to him and they both leaned over to blow out the candles. Everyone clapped and little Isabel smiled at her brother over the cake, who actually smiled back, small dimples showing at the corners of his mouth.
Isabel glanced at her brother with a small smile of nostalgia, and Max returned it just as he had in the video. Watching their lives evolve on videotape only confirmed something he already knew. If it hadn’t been for Isabel, Max’s life would have turned out quite differently. It was Isabel who’d encouraged him to start trying to fit into their new lives on earth when he would have stayed in his protective shell after the Evans found them. Watching her embrace the love that Diane and Phillip couldn’t wait to shower on their adopted children had persuaded him to let his new parents into his heart and allow their comfort and love to ease his fears. When they finally went to school, she was the one who attracted friends and made sure that Max was included in their games and parties. He’d been spared some of the more painful rituals of childhood because he’d been Isabel Evans brother.
And while he’d hidden behind his tree, Isabel had chosen instead to have a life, even if it was only a partial one. Few people knew her beyond her Ice Princess persona, but that changed when Liz was shot. The humans that they had finally allowed into their lives, especially Alex and now Jesse had seen the vulnerable person Isabel hid from the world. For all his fears about Jesse’s knowledge of their secret, Max was happy for her that she’d found someone to love who loved her for herself, secrets and all.
“Look at how pretty you look, Honey.” Diane sniffed again watching Isabel’s smiling face as she walked down the aisle at her wedding on her father’s arm. Isabel and her mother held hands as they watched the ceremony together. When it was over, Max’s father handed out tissues to his wife and daughter and turned off the tape player.
“I think that’s enough nostalgia for one day. I, for one, am thirsty. Anyone else?”
There were nods all around as everyone got up from the couch. Isabel was dabbing at her eyes as she walked. “I’m going to go up for a minute and fix my face. I’ll be right back.” She disappeared up the stairs while everyone else went into the kitchen.
A few minutes later, Max headed up the stairs himself. His mother had gotten a phone call and his father had gone into his office for a moment. Since Isabel had not reappeared, he went looking for her. Coming to the top stair, he heard a noise and found Isabel in his room. She was sitting on the bed, the pictures of Zan in her hand.
Max approached her and she glanced up, smiling through her tears as he sat next to her on the bed. They both looked down at the pictures for a moment. “He was so beautiful Max. I wish…..I wish…..” Isabel couldn’t finish her thought as her throat clogged with her tears.
“I know. Me too.” He wasn’t going to cry. Max pushed the tears in his heart down to a place where they couldn’t escape. At least right now. He had to keep it together until after Isabel left tomorrow. Then he could break down. When she was gone. Swallowing hard, he got up from the bed so he wouldn’t have to look at the pictures anymore.
Isabel watched him move away and glanced down at the pictures one more time before putting them back on his nightstand. Despite the fact that he hadn’t been quite as vocal as Michael in protesting her leaving, she knew he was worried about her as well and that he was putting on a good face to help make the transition easier for her. They might not have the mental telepathy they did as children, but she could still pick up on his feelings pretty well. As much as she loved Jesse, moving away from her brothers was like losing a limb. It was going to be a hard adjustment.
Getting up from the bed, Isabel ventured closer. “Max…..”
He turned to look at her, seeing an openness in his sister’s expression that only appeared when they were alone and she had something really important to say.
“I want to tell you something that I don’t think I ever told you.” Isabel looked down at her hands, and Max could this was difficult for her because she hardly ever allowed herself to look this vulnerable.
“I know that when you saved Liz…..Michael and I….were really hard on you. Even after she proved that she was trustworthy……I still….didn’t want to give her a chance. I want you to know the reason for that.” Isabel took a deep breath.
“I was jealous. For all of those years…..you and me and Michael….we only needed each other. And when you saved Liz…..I knew that I was going to lose you.”
“You didn’t lose me Isabel.”
“Not in the sense that you wouldn’t be there for me, I know that,” Isabel said. “But I know you, Max. You have so much love to give and I knew how lonely you were. How much you wanted to find someone to share that with.” She looked down again. “How much you wanted to share it with Liz.” She shook her head and looked up, and Max was surprised at the guilt in her expression. “Before the shooting, I knew all of those things and I still…deep down inside…..was glad that you hadn’t given in to your desire to tell her how you felt about her not only because I was afraid of what they might do to us if anyone found out our secret…..but because then…..then you wouldn’t need me anymore.”
Stepping forward, Max held out his hand. “Isabel…..”
“No Max, let me finish.” She closed her eyes, then opened them to look at her brother’s face. “I was wrong. I was selfish and I’m sorry. Liz has turned out to be the best thing that ever happened to you….to us. Without her, none of us would have found love. We would never have let anyone into our lives….never trusted anyone…never lived. And even though many bad things have happened…..we have so much more to be thankful for. I mean…Mom and Dad know our secret….Michael has Maria and I’ve never seen him so happy…..I have Jesse….and you finally have the person you’ve always wanted….and she loves you so much. She loves you the way you deserve to be loved.”
Enfolding his sister into his arms, Max closed his eyes to hold in the tears, afraid of the emotions so close to the surface. He couldn’t speak, but he knew she could feel his love for her.
Isabel let her tears fall, dampening his shirt, clutching him tightly. “Be happy Max. Don’t be afraid of it. You and Liz deserve it.” Her words were muffled, but the love behind them was clear. Max nodded against her hair. They stood that way for a moment, feeling the strength of the bond that held them together as brother and sister, and they knew that distance and circumstances could never break it. They didn’t know if regular human siblings felt it the way they did, they only knew that it was something else to be grateful for.
Hearing a noise, Max and Isabel turned toward the door and found Michael standing there. He’d had to work part of the day, and Mrs. Evans had told him she thought Max and Isabel were upstairs when he’d come in. He’d heard Isabel’s tearful confession as he was approaching the door and hadn’t wanted to intrude.
For a moment they all just stared at each other, then Isabel walked over and grabbed Michael’s hand, drawing him into their circle. The three of them embraced, holding each other tightly for a moment, then they did something they hadn’t done since they were children. They opened their hearts and minds to each other, letting the unique connection that bound them together as alien human hybrids come to life. They stared at each other, holding hands as pieces of their lives flashed between them, their feelings for each other permeating the connection, lighting the room with their love and commitment to each other.
Finally letting the connection fade to its usual intensity, they blinked their eyes and let their hands unclasp. The feelings of unity didn’t fade, however. None of them could remember the last time they’d connected like that. They’d stopped doing it as children, when the awkwardness of puberty and the need for privacy began. Now that they were young adults, the connection was more focused, the three of them able to block the things they wanted to keep private. They realized now that by not connecting with each other, they’d been missing out, letting circumstances and imagined fears keep them from experiencing the unique support that only they were capable of. It was a sad revelation, considering the times over the last few years they could have used such support….but a gift at the same time. They would never let things come between them again.
Isabel was the first one to smile and Max felt his lips curl in reaction to her expression, glancing over at Michael who surprised both of them by smiling as well. They all heard the doorbell at the same time, and looked at each other before moving out of the room to go answer it in tacit agreement. Michael put his arm around Isabel’s shoulder as the walked down the stairs, and she laid her head against his shoulder for a moment. The sadness of her departure was still very much a part of all of their feelings, but their reconnection had softened the blow.
When they entered the living room, Max saw Liz greeting his father. His eyes took in her slim figure in jeans and a crop tank top, his heartbeat speeding up just looking at her. God, he’d missed her this week. Their few minutes in the car yesterday had not been nearly enough to satisfy his need for her. Apparently his feelings communicated to her without his being aware of them because suddenly she was looking at him, a blush staining her cheeks. Max walked up to her, his hand automatically finding hers.
“Hey,” she said softly, looking up at him.
“Hey,” he answered, his eyes moving over her features with loving thoroughness. He forced himself to look away when he felt himself being pulled into her gaze because standing there in front of his father while they devoured each other was too awkward. He squeezed her hand, letting her know that he would make up for it later.
Mrs. Evans came down the stairs and said dinner was pretty much ready, so everyone helped get it on the table and they sat down to eat. Conversation was kept light and when it was over, the table was cleared and they went into the living room. Maria pulled out the pictures from their trip and after everyone had had a chance to look at them, she got up and retrieved another bag, and pulled out some wrapped packages.
“I saved these for last because I wanted to give you guys something special.” She handed a wrapped package to Isabel, Michael, Max and the Evans. “I loved this and thought you might want a copy.”
Liz already knew what they were, but she looked over Max’s shoulder as he unwrapped his. Before he could get the wrapping all the way off, he heard his mother’s “Oh”, and looked up to see her staring at a framed picture in her hand. Quickly pulling off the rest of the wrapping, Max looked down.
It had been taken at the beach on their trip. He and Michael and Isabel were sitting on beach chairs, outside in the sun, Isabel in between the two boys. They were leaning against each other….and they were laughing. All three of them. Max couldn’t remember what was so funny, but it had obviously been pretty good because he knew he’d never seen them looking so carefree.
“Maria, thank you,” Isabel said, staring at their happy faces, suddenly feeling tearful again. She’d cried a river all ready and it wasn’t even time for her to leave yet.
The other’s echoed Isabel’s sentiment, and Maria smiled. “You’re welcome.” She pulled out some more pictures from the bag. “I also have this one for you, Mr. and Mrs. Evans. I didn’t frame it because I didn’t know if you’d want to enlarge it or what.” She handed them the picture.
Max and Isabel were standing on the beach, the ocean in the background. They had posed for this one, but Maria had zoomed in the lens so it was a close up. Max had his arm around Isabel’s shoulder and their heads were close together, Isabel’s tilted towards Max. The smiles on their faces were subdued as well, but spoke of contentment and their feelings for each other rather than laughter. Mrs. Evans passed the picture to her husband.
“It’s lovely, Maria. Thank you.”
“If you want the negative, just let me know. I have more copies for you guys too,” Maria said, passing copies to Isabel, Max and Michael.
Mr. Evans handed the picture back to his wife, who stared at it for a moment, tears coming to her eyes. Wiping at them surreptitiously, she got up from the couch. “I’m going to get dessert ready.”
Isabel asked to see a few of the other pictures again so she could get Maria to e-mail them when they got their computer set up, so she and Liz and Maria pulled them out to look. The others sat talking for a few minutes before Max decided to go get something else to drink. When he got to the kitchen, he stopped in surprise, seeing his mother standing at the counter, a tissue up to her eyes as she cried. It wasn’t exactly an unusual occurrence since Isabel had made her announcement about leaving, but this was the hardest he’d ever seen her do it. Moving forward cautiously, he approached his mother.
“Mom…..”
“Oh, Max,” Diane looked up and tried to smile, but failed miserably. She looked away, dabbing at her eyes with the soggy tissue. “Don’t pay attention to me. I know you’re sick to death of seeing me blubber over Isabel leaving.” She took the clean tissue that he offered her from the box. “It’s just…..she’s my little girl and she’s married now…and moving away to start her own life.”
“I know,” Max said, meaning it. He knew exactly how she was feeling. His sister wasn’t a little girl anymore, but that didn’t mean he felt any less protective of her. Max reached out to hug his mother, and she gratefully hugged him back.
“At least I’ll have you for a while. Won’t I?” Diane asked, knowing that Max had been considering moving away with Liz for college, but had been debating going to ENMU as well.
Liz had come looking for Max when he hadn’t reappeared in the living room, thinking he and his mother might need help with the dessert, but she stopped short just inside the doorway when she heard Mrs. Evans’ words. Max looked up from his mother’s arms to see her standing there, his mouth open to reply, but no sound came out for a moment. Clearing his throat, he answered. “I…uh….we haven’t decided yet, Mom.”
Diane pulled away and saw Liz, realizing after a moment that this was obviously an awkward subject. She picked up the tray she’d set up with the dishes and dessert. “I’ll take this out to the living room.” She left them alone.
“So your Mom seemed kind of upset.” Liz said.
“Yeah. She’s been having these little episodes since Isabel told her she was moving.” They approached each other a little warily. “Liz….about what you heard…..”
Liz shook her head. “Not right now, Max. Isabel’s leaving tomorrow. We can worry about it after that.” She slipped her arms around his waist, leaning her head against his chest.
“Okay,” Max answered, fitting her small frame to his larger one.
“I missed you,” Liz whispered, luxuriating in the feel of his solid strength against her. Lifting her head to kiss him, she slipped her hand behind his head, pulling it down to her lips.
“God….Liz….” Max couldn’t even put into words how much he suddenly needed her at that moment. All of the tension he’d been feeling over everything going in their lives suddenly overwhelmed him in a blinding rush. His lips crushed hers in a desperately heated kiss. Reaching up to frame her face with his hands, Max delved into the recesses of her mouth, drowning in her taste, unable to get enough.
Liz heard herself moan, her hands clutching his hair as she kissed him back with all the pent up longing of the last few days. Yesterday’s make out session had only fanned the flames. Unfortunately, making out in his mother’s kitchen while everyone else was right in the other room wasn’t much better. The sound of their heavy breathing finally penetrated Liz’s consciousness and she forced herself to pull back from Max’s demanding lips. He wouldn’t let her go at first, leaning forward to capture them again and then again.
“Max…we can’t do this here.”
The sound of her husky voice sent a shiver of desire down his spine, but her words penetrated the sexual haze that had taken over his brain. Max suddenly became aware of the way he was clutching the back of Liz’s shirt in his hand causing it to ride up her back exposing her soft skin to his fingers. His other hand was tangled in her hair, keeping her lips where he wanted them, and as he pulled back slightly, he saw that they were red and swollen from his assault of them.
Control. He’d been out of control. Forcing himself to unclench his grip on her, Max eased away slightly, almost losing it again as Liz’s eyes opened languorously to stare up at him, desire plainly written in the parted lips and dazed look. He wanted to keep kissing her just to see that look on her face again and again. No, he wanted to do more than kiss her, he thought as his body continued to throb with unfulfilled desire against hers.
Liz stared up into the luminous eyes gazing down at her, seeing something flicker in them before he eased his hold on her. Breathing deeply to gain control, Max watched while Liz smoothed her hair, straightening her clothes.
“Liz…..I’m sorry.”
Looking up at him in surprise, Liz stared at his strained expression, realizing that he was feeling guilty but not knowing why. “Why are you sorry?”
“For getting out of control. Everything is just so…messed up right now and I ….we haven’t been together much this week and…..I just needed…….” Max stopped, running his hands through his hair in frustration, irritated with how needy he sounded and how he’d taken advantage of her.
Realizing what was going on, Liz gazed at him for a moment in exasperation. “Max don’t apologize for needing me. I thought we had this discussion. Did you not notice how I was responding a minute ago? Was I acting like I didn’t want you to kiss me? I’m pretty sure I was the one who started it.”
“I know but…..”
“No buts, Max. We were kissing each other….needing each other,” she emphasized. “It was giving and taking, just like it’s supposed to be. And trust me…” Liz slipped her arms around his waist to smile up at him suggestively. “I plan on doing a lot more of it.”
Staring down into her enticing dark eyes, Max felt his misgivings ease a little. “I’m going to hold you to that,” he said, leaning down to kiss her one more time, but this time, it was short and sweet.
Liz returned his kiss and the two of them headed back into the living room. But even as they were walking, the look she’d seen in his eyes plagued her. For just a moment, she’d seen fear. Why was he so afraid of needing her? This issue seemed to be rearing its head again and again lately.
They still hadn’t taken their physical relationship any farther than kissing, but just as they had promised each other, they were gradually moving in that direction and Liz was happy with they’re progress….and frustrated. They needed some time alone. Not only to explore that progress but to get their feelings out in the open about where their lives were headed.
Liz smiled absently at Mrs. Evans as she handed her a plate full of dessert, her mind still dwelling on what just happened. She was beginning to think there was more going on here than even Max realized. She would have to think about it.
TBC......
Last edited by sylvia37 on Mon Sep 08, 2003 10:26 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Lisa: Do we have any food that wasn't brutally slaughtered?
Homer: Well, I think the veal died of loneliness.
Homer: Well, I think the veal died of loneliness.
Can you believe it? I'm early. I'm actually going out tonight so I wanted to go ahead and post this.
Thanks for all the encouragement and the bumps. Let me know what you think.
Everything to You Part 59
The Roswell Airport was not a Mecca of activity. The group that came to see Isabel off to her new home made up most of the people there. Having arrived rather early, they’d been standing and sitting around for quite a while waiting, but it was almost time for her flight to be called.
Liz and Maria were standing together near the window, Liz peering out pensively as they waited.
“Liz,” Maria finally said, wondering what had her friend so quiet. “Liz….”
The sound of Maria’s voice finally penetrated Liz’s thoughts. “What?”
“What’s going on? You’ve been so quiet I thought you were asleep. What are you thinking about?”
Liz looked down at her hands for a second before asking “What would you think if I stayed here and went to ENMU instead of leaving?”
Staring at her for a moment in surprise, Maria took Liz’s arm and led her over to a plastic chair before sitting down to face her. “What about your plans? I thought you were excited about Northwestern.”
“I am….I just……listening to Kyle talk about Jenna made me think. I mean….here I am expecting Max to go with me when I didn’t even consider staying here with him.” Liz bit her lip as she thought about it. Maybe this would be the way to go. That way they wouldn’t have to be separated, and they could go to Northwestern when Max was ready.
Maria frowned. “Liz…..you know I would be thrilled if you stayed here…I mean…I’m going to miss you so much I can’t hardly think about it……but…..as long as I can remember, you’ve talked about going away to college. Never once has staying here in Roswell ever come up. I think you need to give this some serious thought, Babe. You told Kyle it was a huge decision. You shouldn’t make it without at least talking to Max first.” Maria was betting that Max would have some serious things to say about it.
“I know. I will. But probably not today.” She glanced over to where their boyfriends were standing, both of them acting as though nothing was wrong, but she and Maria knew differently. Letting Isabel go to live her own life was killing them, and they were both showing the signs of it. Liz looked back at Maria and the two girls started to get up and go to them, when they saw Isabel approaching.
Looking at each other again, they waited, a little surprised. Although they had stood up for her at her wedding and they had all been through so much together, the three of them were not the best of friends. Isabel did not invite friendship easily. Not deep friendship anyway. She had plenty of superficial ones.
“I’m…uh…getting ready to leave,” Isabel stated unnecessarily, “and um…I wanted to say….um…..” Not usually at a loss for words, Isabel stumbled over how express what she wanted to them to know, pausing uncomfortably.
“We’ll take care of them for you,” Liz finally said, trying to help her out.
Isabel shook her head. “I know you will. That isn’t all I wanted to say. I know I haven’t…..I’ve never said….” A sudden vision of Alex rolling his eyes at her in her head had Isabel taking a deep breath and finally looking at the two human girls sincerely. “I never told you thank you for all you’ve done.” She smiled at their slightly dumbstruck expressions.
“Michael and Max are really lucky to have the two of you and I know that if it hadn’t been for Alex I would never have had the courage to be with Jesse.” Isabel paused, all three of them saddened thinking about Alex. “All of you risked your lives to know us….and love us …..and I wanted you to know that ….I know nothing will ever make up for what Tess did to Alex and Kyle….but the fact that you two are still here…loving my brothers after everything…..”
Emotion clogged her throat so that Isabel couldn’t continue, but Liz and Maria knew what she was trying to say. They’d never seen Isabel so open with her feelings before and it brought tears to their eyes as well. After a moment of sniffling, the three girls smiled, feeling silly over their emotional state.
Maria saw Michael beckoning to her. “Spaceboy’s waving at me. I’m going to see what he wants.”
As she walked away, Isabel looked at Liz. “Liz….”
“He’ll be okay, Isabel.” Liz said.
“No…I know he will. I wouldn’t be leaving if I didn’t think Max was in capable hands. I just….I know how much you love my brother. You are the reason that he’s recovered as much as he has from what Tess did to him and from Zan’s death. No one who didn’t love someone completely would have been able to handle the things that you’ve dealt with because of us.” Isabel paused, staring at Liz seriously for a moment before continuing.
“I’m just not sure that you realize just how much Max loves you.” She shook her head. “I know that you know that he had feelings for you even before the shooting, but I don’t know if you realize just how deep those feelings went. He used to dream about you.”
When Liz looked surprised, Isabel smiled, “I used to dreamwalk him sometimes when I couldn’t sleep,” she clarified a little sheepishly. “When he was younger, it was just dreams about being your friend, getting to play with you and your friends….just belonging. As he got older….they changed.”
“He dreamed about telling you our secret and telling you how much he loved you and about how you would still accept him and love him and the two of you would be married….. I’m sure you get the picture. I stopped when he started….,” Isabel rolled her eyes. “Lets just say that no sister wants to know her brother’s sex dreams.”
Liz blushed. “My point is that…. you do accept and love him for who he is, and it’s taken me a long time to get around to saying it but…..Thank you. For making my brother’s dreams come true.”
Liz had tears in her eyes as she listened to Isabel’s words, and she suddenly remembered words that Max himself had said to her after the shooting, when he was still trying to convince her that she didn’t have to be afraid of him.
“I can't imagine how you must feel right now, I mean, I've thought about telling you a thousand times..”
“You have…..me…..”
It humbled her to realize just how long Max had loved her. Looking up, she saw him heading towards them, and Isabel, sensing who it was behind her, smiled.
“And he takes the longest showers,” she said as though continuing a conversation. “He’ll stay in there until all the hot water is gone. So just be ready. And sometimes when he thinks no can hear him ....he sings Michael Bolton.”
Liz giggled at the look on Max’s face as he stopped, hearing what his sister said. Isabel turned around smiling innocently. “Oh….Max. I didn’t see you.”
“Uh huh,” he said, taking her teasing in stride. “Mom wants us all together for a picture.”
All of the teenagers gathered around with Isabel in the middle so Mrs. Evans could take a picture of them. Then Max took the camera to take a picture of the adults with her. Just as he clicked the button, the announcement for her flight was called. The time had come.
Isabel gathered her belongings, studiously arranging her purse on her shoulder and making sure she had everything, avoiding looking at her parents or brothers, tears threatening. But she finally couldn’t avoid it anymore and she looked up to see her mother valiantly trying to suppress her own tears, standing next to her father who had his arm around her. Taking a deep breath, Isabel approached her parents, trying to smile, but as she looked at her mother, the tears burst forth and the two women hugged each other tightly.
Max stood by watching his sister and mother cry, strangely numb. The moment he’d heard the announcer’s voice, a stab of ….what….grief? fear? Hollowness?….shot through him and he’d automatically pushed it down inside where it wouldn’t hurt so much. His face felt tight and his eyes dry as he waited to say goodbye to his sister…..there was that pain again…and he resolutely pushed it down again.
Suddenly, he felt a hand slip into his and he looked down to see Liz gazing up at him compassionately. Her expression tore a small hole through his resolve and he felt his lips tremble as he tightened his fingers around hers. Liz understood that he was holding on by a thread and that he wanted to get through the next few minutes without breaking down, so she smiled as encouragingly as she could and sent as much love and happiness through their connection as she could muster.
Isabel was hugging her father. “Call if you need anything. You and Jesse both, okay?” her father was saying as they said their goodbyes.
“We will. I love you Daddy.”
“I love you too, Sweetheart. And it won’t be that long until we see you. Your Mom and I will plan a trip out there as soon as you’ve had a chance to settle in and get used to it, okay?”
Isabel smiled up at him and wiped at her eyes. “Okay.” She hugged him one more time, then turned around to see the others waiting patiently to say goodbye.
First, she hugged Kyle and his father, thanking them again for all they’d done, then Liz and Maria stepped forward and they exchanged hugs as well. “Have a safe trip.” Liz said.
Finally it was time to say goodbye to her brothers. Isabel compressed her lips trying to gain some semblance of control, turning first to Michael. His expression was stoic, but Isabel could feel the waves of emotion he was trying so hard not to show and suddenly, she dropped her things and threw herself into his arms. Michael caught her, lifting her up as he buried his face for a moment in her hair, trying hard not to cry himself. They hugged tightly for a long moment, then he gently pushed her away. “You have to go.”
Nodding as she wiped at her eyes, she turned to Max who stood silently, his brow creased with the strain of holding in his tears even as he tried to smile at her. Slowly wrapping her arms around his waist, Isabel lay her head on his shoulder. Max held her tightly, his eyes closed as they silently bid each other goodbye, his throat raw with the effort of suppressing his emotions.
When Isabel lifted her head, she pulled back far enough to bring Michael into their embrace and the three of them held each other for another moment. Hearing the second announcement for her flight at the same time, they reluctantly let go and Isabel reached up to kiss first Michael, then Max.
“I love you,” she said, then quickly turned and grabbed her things.
Kissing her mother one last time, Isabel walked to the airline attendant, putting them on the conveyor belt. She glanced back one more time at her family, and walked through the security system. She didn’t look back as she picked up her possessions and hurried down the ramp towards her gate.
****************************
Max stared at the television, watching as a tall, voluptuous girl in a string bikini and high heels strolled around the stage holding up a sign for the 6th round. On some level, his brain appreciated her assets. After all, he was a teenage boy albeit only a half human one, but for the most part, she really didn’t move him. The only reason he was watching at all was because Michael was in control of the remote. They were at his apartment so that was the rule.
Stretching his neck a little, Max settled into the couch a little lower, staring unseeing at the boxing match that had resumed on the screen. Liz and Maria had to go back to work after Isabel left so he and Michael had ended up here, neither one of them in the mood to do anything or be sociable. The intensity of his earlier emotions had given way to a dull ache, and both of them sat in brooding silence, lost in their own thoughts.
Max glanced at his watch, frowning at little at seeing that it had barely moved since the last time he looked. Liz wouldn’t be off for another couple of hours. When he’d dropped her off at the CrashDown, she’d kissed him and just held him for a few minutes, offering her silent support and Max knew that she could feel his sadness. He tried to block the worst of it from her because she was already unhappy about having to leave him when he was feeling bad, but she’d realized what he was doing and told him to stop it. After telling her that he and Michael were just going to hang out at his apartment, she’d said that she and Maria would be over after work.
His thoughts turned once more to his sister. Letting her go was one of the hardest things he’d ever done. He remembered not so long ago when he and Michael and Isabel and Tess stood in the pod chamber that horrible night they were going to use the Granolith to go back to Antar.
At the time, they hadn’t known what Tess had done to him, so Isabel and Michael thought that he’d actually slept with Tess willingly without protection and gotten her pregnant. Here he was, the responsible one, the leader, and he had fucked up their lives so much that they were going to have to leave the planet.
Even though Max’s memory was completely restored now, sometimes the memories seemed vague and distorted, like they weren’t really his. He knew that must be because of Tess’s mindwarp, but this particular memory was very clear. Michael had decided to stay on earth with Maria and Max had forced himself to turn to his sister and tell her that it was okay if she decided to stay too. Something in him had broken through whatever Tess was doing to him and realized that it wasn’t right for him to expect Michael and Isabel to leave their home and their family to pay for his mistake.
He remembered vividly standing there feeling sickeningly afraid of what he was about to do and the thought that it might only be him and Tess who left to face the unknown environment of their home planet had almost made him physically ill. But then Isabel had said those words to him.
You’re my home too.
Max thought about those words. At the time he’d said similar words to her, it had been true, at least in his own mind, screwed up as it was. He was about to leave the planet and his relationship with Liz was practically nonexistent except for the harsh words that had been exchanged between them. Earth was a hostile environment and Antar was just the name of a far off planet so Isabel and Michael were the only things left in his life that he could cling too. When Isabel had said those words to him, he’d felt limp with relief and gratitude.
Now, of course, things were different. The three of them had found extraordinary people who loved them and wanted to spend their lives with them in spite of the extra baggage they carried around as aliens on earth. They no longer had to rely only on each other.
When Max thought of home now, Liz’s face was the one he saw.
But that didn’t make his relationship with his sister any less meaningful. The years of love and support they had provided for each other had helped to shape him into the person he was and he would be forever grateful.
Max’s thoughts shifted to Jesse. The poor guy. Both he and Michael had managed to corner him before he left and although Max had tried to be more subtle in his approach, they both made it clear to him that they held him responsible for Isabel’s happiness and he’d better not screw that up. Michael had said something about his balls and a sling, but the message had basically been the same. A small smirk graced Max’s lips as he thought about it. Jesse really did love his sister and anybody who could put up with her anal retentive nature and still smile was a saint in his book. He might love Isabel but Max had no illusions regarding her personality. She could drive a person insane.
Thinking about Jesse’s commitment to his sister, Max felt a small measure of reassurance and he admonished himself for being depressed. Isabel was in good hands and instead of sitting here moping, he should be thankful for her happiness and glad he didn’t have to put up with her quirks anymore, right?
Okay, maybe he could still be a little depressed. He’d grown up with her quirks so he didn’t mind them so much. And he really did miss her already.
Sighing in irritation with himself, Max glanced up at the screen and grimaced. He hated second rate boxing matches.
“This is boring. Let’s play Foosball.” Max got up from the couch and looked down at Michael who stared up at him for a moment, then shrugged before turning off the TV and throwing down the remote.
The two boys headed into the other room and got set to play. After a few moments, it was obvious to Max that Michael had been practicing. While he’d been living there, they’d been pretty evenly matched, but understandably since he’d moved out, Michael had improved more than he had.
When Michael scored on him for the fifth time in a row, Max was seriously considering using his powers. With that thought a memory suddenly assailed him and he couldn’t prevent the smile that curled his lips.
“What?” Michael asked, seeing the smile.
“You remember when we first showed Isabel how to play this?” Max’s grin deepened at the smile that crossed Michael’s face.
“Man, she got pissed,” Michael said, grinning at the memory. They were only nine or ten at the time and the Evans had a Foosball table in the basement. The three of them had been at their house and Isabel was bored so out of desperation she asked them to show her how to play. After showing her the basics, Max had gone easy on her, but Michael wasn’t about to. When she kept losing Isabel finally got mad and started using little bursts of power to help her. Michael yelled at her and Isabel in a fit of temper waved her hand over the whole table, melting the little figures into blobs of plastic goo before stomping off.
Still thinking about it as he continued to play, Michael was reminded of other times Isabel had used her powers “recreationally” as she called it. One specific time stuck out in his mind.
“Hey, you remember that time when she almost drove Amy Portland to an institution?” Michael smiled at the memory, but Max wasn’t quite as amused.
It had been during their 8th grade year at school. Michael had come to school looking particularly grungy one day and when he’d gotten in the lunch line behind Amy, she’d made some snide comment to one of her friends about his attire and his general lack of class, implying that he was stupid because he was poor and deserved to be that way. Unfortunately for Amy, Isabel was in the line in front of her and her friends and heard every word.
A few days after that, Amy began coming to school late and acting strangely. She was nervous all the time and her own appearance took a downward turn. She kept to herself and would sit at lunch watching the other students like a hawk, glaring at some of them, shying away from others. One day about two weeks after the incident, Max and Isabel were walking to class and they happened to pass Amy sitting by herself on a bench, talking to herself. When she saw Isabel, she cringed and almost covered her head. Seeing the satisfied expression in Isabel’s eyes, Max questioned her about it when they got home.
After a lot of prying Isabel finally confessed that she had been dreamwalking Amy every couple of nights since her comments about Michael. When Max admonished her, she’d flippantly told him that Amy was apparently completely paranoid about what other people thought about her, not just her personality, but her appearance as well according to her dreams. And that she had only played on her paranoia a little, working with what was already there.
Isabel’s exact words were, “I did her a favor. She was a timebomb waiting to go off. At least she’s in therapy now.” It definitely did not pay to have Isabel Evans pissed off at you as Max could attest to, thinking about his feet sticking to the floor in class last year.
She always did have an overactive protective instinct towards Michael though, Max thought, remembering her reaction to finding out that Hank was abusing him. And her reaction when Michael got sick at the Indian reservation. Max always thought it was because they’d lost him that night they came out of the pods. She cried over it every night until they found him, and after that, when she saw how he was living and felt some of his pain, it was as though something inside her wouldn’t let her stop trying to make up for it.
Seeing Max’s frown, Michael shook his head and then grinned again. “Remember when she made you climb the roof?”
Max had to smile at that one. It was during Christmas and the whole family had spent hours decorating the outside of the house, putting lights on everything in sight. A few days later, one of the lights on the roof had gone out and Isabel insisted that Max climb up there and fix it. After arguing for a few minutes, Max had finally acquiesced just to shut her up. He actually didn’t have a problem getting up, but getting down was a different story. He hadn’t realized just how steep it was until he actually looked down. With Michael egging him on, Max had slid cautiously towards the edge to climb down the way he went up, but his feet slipped and he slid off the end, landing awkwardly, his ankle bent under him. The pain had been excruciating and Isabel had cried and fussed and was extremely apologetic even after Max had healed himself.
“You milked that one for quite a while, didn’t you?” Michael commented.
“Yeah. It was a while before she went Christmas Nazi again.”
Michael nodded, although he wasn’t quite as negative about Isabel’s obsession with the perfect Christmas as he used to be. Maria’s reaction to the earrings Isabel had picked out for her had more than made up for the price and Isabel had made sure since then that he knew how to pick out gifts for his girlfriend. Now he would have to do it on his own. He glanced up and found Max watching him, a wry look of sympathy on his face, as though he knew what Michael was thinking.
Seeking to break the mood of melancholy that had once again taken over, Michael commented, “I sure as hell won’t miss those stupid rum ball things she got out of that Holiday recipe book of your Mom’s.”
Shuddering, Max nodded, agreeing vehemently. “We should have warned Jesse.”
The two aliens grinned at each other, then started chuckling. “Poor son of a bitch,” Michael said, snorting.
That’s how Liz and Maria found them when they entered the apartment a couple of moments later. Needless to say, they were surprised to see their two boyfriends with smiles on their faces considering how they’d left them earlier. Max looked up in surprise and went to greet Liz.
“You’re early,” he said, leaning down to kiss her.
“Yeah, those kids left earlier and the place was dead so Dad let us leave,” Liz answered him. “You two look better. What was so funny?”
“Nothing, we were just…..reminiscing.” Max glanced over at Michael who still had a small smile on his face, and he realized that Liz was right. He did feel better. Remembering some of the things they’d done growing up had been a sort of catharsis. Their lives hadn’t always been constant chaos like the last couple of years. For the most part, it had been more or less normal.
Maria set down her purse and gestured. “Oh well, we figured we’d have to do some cheering up so we brought a video tape and thought we might order take out from Senior Chows, but…...” Seeing Michael’s suddenly eager expression at the prospect of food, she smiled.
As Michael and Maria went to hunt up a take out menu and get the phone, Liz slipped her arms around Max. “So…..you’re feeling better about Isabel leaving?”
“I guess so. I’m still worried about her being so far away and I’ll miss her but…..” Max’s expression mellowed for a moment before he pulled himself out of it with an effort “I know she’ll be all right.”
Allowing his eyes to roam Liz’s beautiful features, he felt even more of his melancholy slip away. He leaned down to place his lips on the side of Liz’s neck, feeling the ripple of pleasure it gave her through their connection.
“Mmmm,” he breathed, inhaling her scent, nibbling on the sensitive cord before placing a kiss on her cheek, then finally reaching her lips. Liz’s eager response incited his own and they kissed for long moments, each one deeper than the last. Getting lost in the feel of each other’s passion, Max had just started to slide his hand down to press Liz more firmly against his tight body, when Maria’s voice cut through the haze.
“Looks like they started eating without us.”
The two teenagers pulled apart a little breathlessly to see their friends staring at them in unabashed amusement. Liz pushed her hair behind her ears, squinting at Maria in mock warning, daring her to say anything else. Maria just grinned cheekily and held out the menu.
“If you’re still hungry, here’s the menu. Sorry Max, I don’t think Liz is on there.”
Ignoring her, Max took the menu and he and Liz made their choices. As the order was called in, the two of them sat down on the couch, Max’s arm around her shoulders. Liz leaned into him.
“We need to get together and talk about school, Max.” Liz said, her finger tracing patterns on his denim-clad thigh.
“I know. How about tomorrow? Do you have to work?”
“No. Dad gave us the day off because we’ve been working so hard.”
“Me either. Let’s go on a picnic tomorrow. Just the two of us. We can talk about stuff then.”
“That sounds good.” She was anxious to get this resolved, and they would get to spend some time alone, which they needed desperately. She wanted to get all of their thoughts and feelings out in the open.
Liz relaxed, a little tired after her long day. She really thought she and Maria were going to come back to the apartment and find the two guys moping and depressed so it was a pleasant surprise to see that they had managed to cheer each other up. She knew Max was still sad over his sister’s departure, but it wasn’t nearly the intensity as it had been when she left. He really was getting better. Even a month ago, his sister’s leaving would have been traumatic for him. He was handling it much better than she expected. Thinking about tomorrow with anticipation, Liz snuggled under his arm, smiling to herself, happy in a way that she hadn’t been in a while.
TBC......
Thanks for all the encouragement and the bumps. Let me know what you think.
Everything to You Part 59
The Roswell Airport was not a Mecca of activity. The group that came to see Isabel off to her new home made up most of the people there. Having arrived rather early, they’d been standing and sitting around for quite a while waiting, but it was almost time for her flight to be called.
Liz and Maria were standing together near the window, Liz peering out pensively as they waited.
“Liz,” Maria finally said, wondering what had her friend so quiet. “Liz….”
The sound of Maria’s voice finally penetrated Liz’s thoughts. “What?”
“What’s going on? You’ve been so quiet I thought you were asleep. What are you thinking about?”
Liz looked down at her hands for a second before asking “What would you think if I stayed here and went to ENMU instead of leaving?”
Staring at her for a moment in surprise, Maria took Liz’s arm and led her over to a plastic chair before sitting down to face her. “What about your plans? I thought you were excited about Northwestern.”
“I am….I just……listening to Kyle talk about Jenna made me think. I mean….here I am expecting Max to go with me when I didn’t even consider staying here with him.” Liz bit her lip as she thought about it. Maybe this would be the way to go. That way they wouldn’t have to be separated, and they could go to Northwestern when Max was ready.
Maria frowned. “Liz…..you know I would be thrilled if you stayed here…I mean…I’m going to miss you so much I can’t hardly think about it……but…..as long as I can remember, you’ve talked about going away to college. Never once has staying here in Roswell ever come up. I think you need to give this some serious thought, Babe. You told Kyle it was a huge decision. You shouldn’t make it without at least talking to Max first.” Maria was betting that Max would have some serious things to say about it.
“I know. I will. But probably not today.” She glanced over to where their boyfriends were standing, both of them acting as though nothing was wrong, but she and Maria knew differently. Letting Isabel go to live her own life was killing them, and they were both showing the signs of it. Liz looked back at Maria and the two girls started to get up and go to them, when they saw Isabel approaching.
Looking at each other again, they waited, a little surprised. Although they had stood up for her at her wedding and they had all been through so much together, the three of them were not the best of friends. Isabel did not invite friendship easily. Not deep friendship anyway. She had plenty of superficial ones.
“I’m…uh…getting ready to leave,” Isabel stated unnecessarily, “and um…I wanted to say….um…..” Not usually at a loss for words, Isabel stumbled over how express what she wanted to them to know, pausing uncomfortably.
“We’ll take care of them for you,” Liz finally said, trying to help her out.
Isabel shook her head. “I know you will. That isn’t all I wanted to say. I know I haven’t…..I’ve never said….” A sudden vision of Alex rolling his eyes at her in her head had Isabel taking a deep breath and finally looking at the two human girls sincerely. “I never told you thank you for all you’ve done.” She smiled at their slightly dumbstruck expressions.
“Michael and Max are really lucky to have the two of you and I know that if it hadn’t been for Alex I would never have had the courage to be with Jesse.” Isabel paused, all three of them saddened thinking about Alex. “All of you risked your lives to know us….and love us …..and I wanted you to know that ….I know nothing will ever make up for what Tess did to Alex and Kyle….but the fact that you two are still here…loving my brothers after everything…..”
Emotion clogged her throat so that Isabel couldn’t continue, but Liz and Maria knew what she was trying to say. They’d never seen Isabel so open with her feelings before and it brought tears to their eyes as well. After a moment of sniffling, the three girls smiled, feeling silly over their emotional state.
Maria saw Michael beckoning to her. “Spaceboy’s waving at me. I’m going to see what he wants.”
As she walked away, Isabel looked at Liz. “Liz….”
“He’ll be okay, Isabel.” Liz said.
“No…I know he will. I wouldn’t be leaving if I didn’t think Max was in capable hands. I just….I know how much you love my brother. You are the reason that he’s recovered as much as he has from what Tess did to him and from Zan’s death. No one who didn’t love someone completely would have been able to handle the things that you’ve dealt with because of us.” Isabel paused, staring at Liz seriously for a moment before continuing.
“I’m just not sure that you realize just how much Max loves you.” She shook her head. “I know that you know that he had feelings for you even before the shooting, but I don’t know if you realize just how deep those feelings went. He used to dream about you.”
When Liz looked surprised, Isabel smiled, “I used to dreamwalk him sometimes when I couldn’t sleep,” she clarified a little sheepishly. “When he was younger, it was just dreams about being your friend, getting to play with you and your friends….just belonging. As he got older….they changed.”
“He dreamed about telling you our secret and telling you how much he loved you and about how you would still accept him and love him and the two of you would be married….. I’m sure you get the picture. I stopped when he started….,” Isabel rolled her eyes. “Lets just say that no sister wants to know her brother’s sex dreams.”
Liz blushed. “My point is that…. you do accept and love him for who he is, and it’s taken me a long time to get around to saying it but…..Thank you. For making my brother’s dreams come true.”
Liz had tears in her eyes as she listened to Isabel’s words, and she suddenly remembered words that Max himself had said to her after the shooting, when he was still trying to convince her that she didn’t have to be afraid of him.
“I can't imagine how you must feel right now, I mean, I've thought about telling you a thousand times..”
“You have…..me…..”
It humbled her to realize just how long Max had loved her. Looking up, she saw him heading towards them, and Isabel, sensing who it was behind her, smiled.
“And he takes the longest showers,” she said as though continuing a conversation. “He’ll stay in there until all the hot water is gone. So just be ready. And sometimes when he thinks no can hear him ....he sings Michael Bolton.”
Liz giggled at the look on Max’s face as he stopped, hearing what his sister said. Isabel turned around smiling innocently. “Oh….Max. I didn’t see you.”
“Uh huh,” he said, taking her teasing in stride. “Mom wants us all together for a picture.”
All of the teenagers gathered around with Isabel in the middle so Mrs. Evans could take a picture of them. Then Max took the camera to take a picture of the adults with her. Just as he clicked the button, the announcement for her flight was called. The time had come.
Isabel gathered her belongings, studiously arranging her purse on her shoulder and making sure she had everything, avoiding looking at her parents or brothers, tears threatening. But she finally couldn’t avoid it anymore and she looked up to see her mother valiantly trying to suppress her own tears, standing next to her father who had his arm around her. Taking a deep breath, Isabel approached her parents, trying to smile, but as she looked at her mother, the tears burst forth and the two women hugged each other tightly.
Max stood by watching his sister and mother cry, strangely numb. The moment he’d heard the announcer’s voice, a stab of ….what….grief? fear? Hollowness?….shot through him and he’d automatically pushed it down inside where it wouldn’t hurt so much. His face felt tight and his eyes dry as he waited to say goodbye to his sister…..there was that pain again…and he resolutely pushed it down again.
Suddenly, he felt a hand slip into his and he looked down to see Liz gazing up at him compassionately. Her expression tore a small hole through his resolve and he felt his lips tremble as he tightened his fingers around hers. Liz understood that he was holding on by a thread and that he wanted to get through the next few minutes without breaking down, so she smiled as encouragingly as she could and sent as much love and happiness through their connection as she could muster.
Isabel was hugging her father. “Call if you need anything. You and Jesse both, okay?” her father was saying as they said their goodbyes.
“We will. I love you Daddy.”
“I love you too, Sweetheart. And it won’t be that long until we see you. Your Mom and I will plan a trip out there as soon as you’ve had a chance to settle in and get used to it, okay?”
Isabel smiled up at him and wiped at her eyes. “Okay.” She hugged him one more time, then turned around to see the others waiting patiently to say goodbye.
First, she hugged Kyle and his father, thanking them again for all they’d done, then Liz and Maria stepped forward and they exchanged hugs as well. “Have a safe trip.” Liz said.
Finally it was time to say goodbye to her brothers. Isabel compressed her lips trying to gain some semblance of control, turning first to Michael. His expression was stoic, but Isabel could feel the waves of emotion he was trying so hard not to show and suddenly, she dropped her things and threw herself into his arms. Michael caught her, lifting her up as he buried his face for a moment in her hair, trying hard not to cry himself. They hugged tightly for a long moment, then he gently pushed her away. “You have to go.”
Nodding as she wiped at her eyes, she turned to Max who stood silently, his brow creased with the strain of holding in his tears even as he tried to smile at her. Slowly wrapping her arms around his waist, Isabel lay her head on his shoulder. Max held her tightly, his eyes closed as they silently bid each other goodbye, his throat raw with the effort of suppressing his emotions.
When Isabel lifted her head, she pulled back far enough to bring Michael into their embrace and the three of them held each other for another moment. Hearing the second announcement for her flight at the same time, they reluctantly let go and Isabel reached up to kiss first Michael, then Max.
“I love you,” she said, then quickly turned and grabbed her things.
Kissing her mother one last time, Isabel walked to the airline attendant, putting them on the conveyor belt. She glanced back one more time at her family, and walked through the security system. She didn’t look back as she picked up her possessions and hurried down the ramp towards her gate.
****************************
Max stared at the television, watching as a tall, voluptuous girl in a string bikini and high heels strolled around the stage holding up a sign for the 6th round. On some level, his brain appreciated her assets. After all, he was a teenage boy albeit only a half human one, but for the most part, she really didn’t move him. The only reason he was watching at all was because Michael was in control of the remote. They were at his apartment so that was the rule.
Stretching his neck a little, Max settled into the couch a little lower, staring unseeing at the boxing match that had resumed on the screen. Liz and Maria had to go back to work after Isabel left so he and Michael had ended up here, neither one of them in the mood to do anything or be sociable. The intensity of his earlier emotions had given way to a dull ache, and both of them sat in brooding silence, lost in their own thoughts.
Max glanced at his watch, frowning at little at seeing that it had barely moved since the last time he looked. Liz wouldn’t be off for another couple of hours. When he’d dropped her off at the CrashDown, she’d kissed him and just held him for a few minutes, offering her silent support and Max knew that she could feel his sadness. He tried to block the worst of it from her because she was already unhappy about having to leave him when he was feeling bad, but she’d realized what he was doing and told him to stop it. After telling her that he and Michael were just going to hang out at his apartment, she’d said that she and Maria would be over after work.
His thoughts turned once more to his sister. Letting her go was one of the hardest things he’d ever done. He remembered not so long ago when he and Michael and Isabel and Tess stood in the pod chamber that horrible night they were going to use the Granolith to go back to Antar.
At the time, they hadn’t known what Tess had done to him, so Isabel and Michael thought that he’d actually slept with Tess willingly without protection and gotten her pregnant. Here he was, the responsible one, the leader, and he had fucked up their lives so much that they were going to have to leave the planet.
Even though Max’s memory was completely restored now, sometimes the memories seemed vague and distorted, like they weren’t really his. He knew that must be because of Tess’s mindwarp, but this particular memory was very clear. Michael had decided to stay on earth with Maria and Max had forced himself to turn to his sister and tell her that it was okay if she decided to stay too. Something in him had broken through whatever Tess was doing to him and realized that it wasn’t right for him to expect Michael and Isabel to leave their home and their family to pay for his mistake.
He remembered vividly standing there feeling sickeningly afraid of what he was about to do and the thought that it might only be him and Tess who left to face the unknown environment of their home planet had almost made him physically ill. But then Isabel had said those words to him.
You’re my home too.
Max thought about those words. At the time he’d said similar words to her, it had been true, at least in his own mind, screwed up as it was. He was about to leave the planet and his relationship with Liz was practically nonexistent except for the harsh words that had been exchanged between them. Earth was a hostile environment and Antar was just the name of a far off planet so Isabel and Michael were the only things left in his life that he could cling too. When Isabel had said those words to him, he’d felt limp with relief and gratitude.
Now, of course, things were different. The three of them had found extraordinary people who loved them and wanted to spend their lives with them in spite of the extra baggage they carried around as aliens on earth. They no longer had to rely only on each other.
When Max thought of home now, Liz’s face was the one he saw.
But that didn’t make his relationship with his sister any less meaningful. The years of love and support they had provided for each other had helped to shape him into the person he was and he would be forever grateful.
Max’s thoughts shifted to Jesse. The poor guy. Both he and Michael had managed to corner him before he left and although Max had tried to be more subtle in his approach, they both made it clear to him that they held him responsible for Isabel’s happiness and he’d better not screw that up. Michael had said something about his balls and a sling, but the message had basically been the same. A small smirk graced Max’s lips as he thought about it. Jesse really did love his sister and anybody who could put up with her anal retentive nature and still smile was a saint in his book. He might love Isabel but Max had no illusions regarding her personality. She could drive a person insane.
Thinking about Jesse’s commitment to his sister, Max felt a small measure of reassurance and he admonished himself for being depressed. Isabel was in good hands and instead of sitting here moping, he should be thankful for her happiness and glad he didn’t have to put up with her quirks anymore, right?
Okay, maybe he could still be a little depressed. He’d grown up with her quirks so he didn’t mind them so much. And he really did miss her already.
Sighing in irritation with himself, Max glanced up at the screen and grimaced. He hated second rate boxing matches.
“This is boring. Let’s play Foosball.” Max got up from the couch and looked down at Michael who stared up at him for a moment, then shrugged before turning off the TV and throwing down the remote.
The two boys headed into the other room and got set to play. After a few moments, it was obvious to Max that Michael had been practicing. While he’d been living there, they’d been pretty evenly matched, but understandably since he’d moved out, Michael had improved more than he had.
When Michael scored on him for the fifth time in a row, Max was seriously considering using his powers. With that thought a memory suddenly assailed him and he couldn’t prevent the smile that curled his lips.
“What?” Michael asked, seeing the smile.
“You remember when we first showed Isabel how to play this?” Max’s grin deepened at the smile that crossed Michael’s face.
“Man, she got pissed,” Michael said, grinning at the memory. They were only nine or ten at the time and the Evans had a Foosball table in the basement. The three of them had been at their house and Isabel was bored so out of desperation she asked them to show her how to play. After showing her the basics, Max had gone easy on her, but Michael wasn’t about to. When she kept losing Isabel finally got mad and started using little bursts of power to help her. Michael yelled at her and Isabel in a fit of temper waved her hand over the whole table, melting the little figures into blobs of plastic goo before stomping off.
Still thinking about it as he continued to play, Michael was reminded of other times Isabel had used her powers “recreationally” as she called it. One specific time stuck out in his mind.
“Hey, you remember that time when she almost drove Amy Portland to an institution?” Michael smiled at the memory, but Max wasn’t quite as amused.
It had been during their 8th grade year at school. Michael had come to school looking particularly grungy one day and when he’d gotten in the lunch line behind Amy, she’d made some snide comment to one of her friends about his attire and his general lack of class, implying that he was stupid because he was poor and deserved to be that way. Unfortunately for Amy, Isabel was in the line in front of her and her friends and heard every word.
A few days after that, Amy began coming to school late and acting strangely. She was nervous all the time and her own appearance took a downward turn. She kept to herself and would sit at lunch watching the other students like a hawk, glaring at some of them, shying away from others. One day about two weeks after the incident, Max and Isabel were walking to class and they happened to pass Amy sitting by herself on a bench, talking to herself. When she saw Isabel, she cringed and almost covered her head. Seeing the satisfied expression in Isabel’s eyes, Max questioned her about it when they got home.
After a lot of prying Isabel finally confessed that she had been dreamwalking Amy every couple of nights since her comments about Michael. When Max admonished her, she’d flippantly told him that Amy was apparently completely paranoid about what other people thought about her, not just her personality, but her appearance as well according to her dreams. And that she had only played on her paranoia a little, working with what was already there.
Isabel’s exact words were, “I did her a favor. She was a timebomb waiting to go off. At least she’s in therapy now.” It definitely did not pay to have Isabel Evans pissed off at you as Max could attest to, thinking about his feet sticking to the floor in class last year.
She always did have an overactive protective instinct towards Michael though, Max thought, remembering her reaction to finding out that Hank was abusing him. And her reaction when Michael got sick at the Indian reservation. Max always thought it was because they’d lost him that night they came out of the pods. She cried over it every night until they found him, and after that, when she saw how he was living and felt some of his pain, it was as though something inside her wouldn’t let her stop trying to make up for it.
Seeing Max’s frown, Michael shook his head and then grinned again. “Remember when she made you climb the roof?”
Max had to smile at that one. It was during Christmas and the whole family had spent hours decorating the outside of the house, putting lights on everything in sight. A few days later, one of the lights on the roof had gone out and Isabel insisted that Max climb up there and fix it. After arguing for a few minutes, Max had finally acquiesced just to shut her up. He actually didn’t have a problem getting up, but getting down was a different story. He hadn’t realized just how steep it was until he actually looked down. With Michael egging him on, Max had slid cautiously towards the edge to climb down the way he went up, but his feet slipped and he slid off the end, landing awkwardly, his ankle bent under him. The pain had been excruciating and Isabel had cried and fussed and was extremely apologetic even after Max had healed himself.
“You milked that one for quite a while, didn’t you?” Michael commented.
“Yeah. It was a while before she went Christmas Nazi again.”
Michael nodded, although he wasn’t quite as negative about Isabel’s obsession with the perfect Christmas as he used to be. Maria’s reaction to the earrings Isabel had picked out for her had more than made up for the price and Isabel had made sure since then that he knew how to pick out gifts for his girlfriend. Now he would have to do it on his own. He glanced up and found Max watching him, a wry look of sympathy on his face, as though he knew what Michael was thinking.
Seeking to break the mood of melancholy that had once again taken over, Michael commented, “I sure as hell won’t miss those stupid rum ball things she got out of that Holiday recipe book of your Mom’s.”
Shuddering, Max nodded, agreeing vehemently. “We should have warned Jesse.”
The two aliens grinned at each other, then started chuckling. “Poor son of a bitch,” Michael said, snorting.
That’s how Liz and Maria found them when they entered the apartment a couple of moments later. Needless to say, they were surprised to see their two boyfriends with smiles on their faces considering how they’d left them earlier. Max looked up in surprise and went to greet Liz.
“You’re early,” he said, leaning down to kiss her.
“Yeah, those kids left earlier and the place was dead so Dad let us leave,” Liz answered him. “You two look better. What was so funny?”
“Nothing, we were just…..reminiscing.” Max glanced over at Michael who still had a small smile on his face, and he realized that Liz was right. He did feel better. Remembering some of the things they’d done growing up had been a sort of catharsis. Their lives hadn’t always been constant chaos like the last couple of years. For the most part, it had been more or less normal.
Maria set down her purse and gestured. “Oh well, we figured we’d have to do some cheering up so we brought a video tape and thought we might order take out from Senior Chows, but…...” Seeing Michael’s suddenly eager expression at the prospect of food, she smiled.
As Michael and Maria went to hunt up a take out menu and get the phone, Liz slipped her arms around Max. “So…..you’re feeling better about Isabel leaving?”
“I guess so. I’m still worried about her being so far away and I’ll miss her but…..” Max’s expression mellowed for a moment before he pulled himself out of it with an effort “I know she’ll be all right.”
Allowing his eyes to roam Liz’s beautiful features, he felt even more of his melancholy slip away. He leaned down to place his lips on the side of Liz’s neck, feeling the ripple of pleasure it gave her through their connection.
“Mmmm,” he breathed, inhaling her scent, nibbling on the sensitive cord before placing a kiss on her cheek, then finally reaching her lips. Liz’s eager response incited his own and they kissed for long moments, each one deeper than the last. Getting lost in the feel of each other’s passion, Max had just started to slide his hand down to press Liz more firmly against his tight body, when Maria’s voice cut through the haze.
“Looks like they started eating without us.”
The two teenagers pulled apart a little breathlessly to see their friends staring at them in unabashed amusement. Liz pushed her hair behind her ears, squinting at Maria in mock warning, daring her to say anything else. Maria just grinned cheekily and held out the menu.
“If you’re still hungry, here’s the menu. Sorry Max, I don’t think Liz is on there.”
Ignoring her, Max took the menu and he and Liz made their choices. As the order was called in, the two of them sat down on the couch, Max’s arm around her shoulders. Liz leaned into him.
“We need to get together and talk about school, Max.” Liz said, her finger tracing patterns on his denim-clad thigh.
“I know. How about tomorrow? Do you have to work?”
“No. Dad gave us the day off because we’ve been working so hard.”
“Me either. Let’s go on a picnic tomorrow. Just the two of us. We can talk about stuff then.”
“That sounds good.” She was anxious to get this resolved, and they would get to spend some time alone, which they needed desperately. She wanted to get all of their thoughts and feelings out in the open.
Liz relaxed, a little tired after her long day. She really thought she and Maria were going to come back to the apartment and find the two guys moping and depressed so it was a pleasant surprise to see that they had managed to cheer each other up. She knew Max was still sad over his sister’s departure, but it wasn’t nearly the intensity as it had been when she left. He really was getting better. Even a month ago, his sister’s leaving would have been traumatic for him. He was handling it much better than she expected. Thinking about tomorrow with anticipation, Liz snuggled under his arm, smiling to herself, happy in a way that she hadn’t been in a while.
TBC......
Lisa: Do we have any food that wasn't brutally slaughtered?
Homer: Well, I think the veal died of loneliness.
Homer: Well, I think the veal died of loneliness.
I actually made it back before I thought I would. I want to acknowledge all of you who took the time to write me your thoughts and/or bump this last part. You guys are great and I look forward to hearing from all of you.
Chipflickan
LizParkerEvans
Alien614
Frenchkiss70
NorafanofMaxandLiz
Max and Liz Believer
Jason's Lover
Out of this World (Welcome Newbie)
Mareli
Begonia 9508
6th Rock
AlienDreamer101
IAmALongTimeFan (Liz, My Banner Maker )
Gigo
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Thank you.
The next part is venturing more into "R" rated territory and I guess we'll leave the rating there from now on just in case. Please let me know what you think because I'm a little nervous about it.
Everything To You Part 60
Liz looked down into the picnic basket, wondering if she was bringing too much food. “So Mom’s a little irritated because I’m still going, but I told her that Max and I made these plans yesterday and I couldn’t help it if she decided to come back early without telling anyone,” She said as she finished packing the picnic basket on the counter. She tucked the bottle of Tabasco against the side wrapped in napkins in case it leaked.
“Your Mom’s been gone an awful lot over the last year hasn’t she?” Maria observed. She and Michael were sitting at the counter while Liz finished getting ready for her picnic with Max.
“Yeah. You know Aunt Beth has been really sick and Mom feels obligated.”
“But she’s going to be here to fly with you to Illinois when you go, right?”
“Yeah…..if I go,” Liz said, closing the basket. She looked at the clock, seeing that she had a few minutes until Max was due.
“Did you talk to Max yet?” Maria asked, elbowing Michael in the ribs when his hand slid under her shirt. The faint grunt he let out had her smiling in satisfaction.
“That’s what today is for. We’re going to decide.” Liz grinned a little at their antics. “I mean, we have three choices: I go and he stays, we both stay or we both go.”
Michael suddenly stopped his teasing and Maria knew why. He didn’t think there was still a question of whether or not Max was going. She grabbed the hand that had stopped creeping under her shirt, holding it comfortingly.
Liz didn’t notice the sudden shift in mood, she was distracted by Max entering through the glass doors. His lips lifted when he saw her, and she returned his smile, walking forward to meet him halfway.
“Hey,” he said, leaning down to kiss her. “Ready to go?”
“Yeah. The basket’s over here.” Liz led him to the counter.
“Hi,” Max said to Maria and Michael. Maria greeted him, but Michael just nodded noncommittally, picking at the fries on his plate. Max stared at him for a moment, but was distracted by Liz handing him the basket.
“We’ll see you guys later,” Liz said. She headed towards the door, and Max followed.
“Is something wrong with Michael?” Max asked as he held the door open for her, glancing back towards his friend.
“Not that I know of. He seemed fine while we were sitting there. His ribs might hurt a little. Maria kept having to elbow him to make him quit tickling her.” Liz smiled as they settled into the Chevelle.
Inside the CrashDown, Maria still sat with Michael, watching him pick at his food until she couldn’t stand it another second. She started to pull his plate out from under his hand to make him stop fingering it, when he threw down his napkin and stood up.
“I have to get back to work.” Michael barely looked at her as he took some money out of his pocket for the tip and the check. “I’ll see you later.” He turned away from the counter and slunked towards the door.
“Bye,” Maria said to her retreating back, annoyed, but no overly so. She knew what was upsetting him and she knew that eventually they would talk about it. Besides, at least he’d left some money. That was a vast improvement.
“So where are we going?” Liz asked, reaching up to tuck her flying hair behind her ear. With the top down on the Chevelle, it was almost as bad as the jeep had been.
“Bitter Lake.”
“Wow. The last time I was there was in 7th grade for that field trip.”
“I remember,” Max said, smiling a little. It was actually a very vivid memory for him.
Their science class had gone to the park to tour the museum and have a lecture from one of the environmentalists who worked there. They had walked around the museum with the man, listening to him speak about the work the park did with the different species of birds and other animals that lived there. Max stood at the back of the class watching as Liz listened with rapt attention to their instructor and asked several enthusiastic questions. He loved seeing her eyes sparkle as they did when she was interested in something, especially when that something was science.
It was during a break from the lecture for a moment when one of the other students made a snide comment about science geeks loud enough for everyone to hear and Max had watched Liz’s cheeks pinken with embarrassment, the sparkle in her eyes dimming. When the lecturer had returned to continue, Liz was noticeably more subdued and kept quiet, her enthusiasm all but gone.
Max hated seeing her humiliation and had stood for several minutes in indecision, his natural instincts to stay in the background warring with his need to remove that look from his angel’s face. Finally, taking a deep breath and bracing himself, he’d stepped forward to raise his hand, asking a question. He didn’t even remember what the question was now. After the man answered him, he asked another one. After that one was answered, Max moved back some, glancing shyly at Liz who was staring at him gratefully. Her smile had stopped the breath in his throat, but he’d managed to smile tentatively back, slipping back to his usual place behind everyone else. The rest of the day passed in a blur of happiness. She had smiled at him.
“I remember too,” Liz said, taking his hand and rubbing it against her cheek before kissing the knuckles. “Thank you.”
She’d been thinking about the incident as well, and the significance of Max’s gesture took on a whole new meaning now that she knew what she knew about him. How hard it must have been for him to overcome his need to keep quiet just to make her feel better. She wished that she had known about his feelings for her then. She had wanted to say something to him that day after they returned to the bus but he was always so quiet and seemed almost painfully shy. Liz knew now, of course, that it wasn’t just shyness that had kept him from being more extroverted, but she wished that she could have overcome her own feelings of inadequacy and spoken to him more….Who knows how different their lives might have turned out if they had only gotten to know each other sooner.
“It was my pleasure,” Max said, his lip curling at the corner. Liz saw the dimple that appeared and felt a small frission of heat zing through her. Lord, even his dimples turned her on. Taking a deep breath to calm herself, Liz turned her gaze away, smiling.
When they reached the park, they divided their things to carry and Liz followed Max since he seemed to know where he was going. As they kept walking further and further away into the more wooded area, Liz finally spoke.
“Where are we going?”
“It’s just a little further. I wanted us to have some privacy. Do you mind being back here away from the crowd?”
“No, of course, not,” Liz answered him, glad now that she had chosen to where tennis shoes rather than sandals. The day was hot, but back here in the woods, it wasn’t quite as bad. Finally, it seemed that they were coming to a clearing and Max slowed down. The trees were less dense and she saw blue sky ahead. When Max finally came to a stop, she had to admit, it had been worth the trek. They were in front of the lake, but it was secluded and there was plenty of room for their blanket. No other people seemed to be around.
“This is perfect,” Liz said, smiling at him as she set down the blanket.
“I’m glad you like it,” Max said, sitting down with her. They looked out at the lake for a few minutes in silence, enjoying the peaceful scenery. There were a few gray clouds on the horizon, but for the most part, it was a beautiful day.
“Are you hungry?” Liz asked, starting to open the basket.
He wasn’t especially, but Max nodded anyway and they spread out the food that Liz had packed between them. Max noted that there was enough to feed several people, but he just smiled and refrained from commenting. They ate their sandwiches and talked about nothing important. When they finished, they repacked the basket and Max lay back with his hands under his head. Liz snuggled up to him, her head on his chest.
“How’s your Mom?” Liz asked.
“Okay. She didn’t cry today, at least….I didn’t see her cry. But she did fix my favorite breakfast, and she kept staring at me while I was eating this morning with this weird look on her face.”
Liz smiled at the bewildered tone in Max’s voice. It was obvious that his Mom was suffering from some major empty nest syndrome and Max was going to bare the brunt of it. Her smile faded as the thought brought Liz back to other reason they were here today.
“Max…..about school…..” Liz felt the atmosphere change. He didn’t stiffen up exactly, but there was a tenseness, like he was bracing himself for their talk. She sat up and waited for him to do the same, facing each other.
“Do you want me to go first or do you want to?” Liz asked.
“You can go first,” Max said.
“Okay,” Liz said and took a deep breath, looking down at her hands. “I know when we talked the other night that I said I understood why you felt the way you do but…..understanding and agreeing are two different things.” She stopped, hesitant to bring up what she’d been thinking about since the night of the party. She wasn’t a psychologist, but her instincts were telling her that something else besides what he said out loud was going on with regard to why it bothered him to need her the way that he did. Liz didn’t want to upset him, but whatever it was, it needed to be dealt with.
“I want to ask you something.” Liz looked at him and saw his nod, even though his expression was a little wary. “You said that you feel like you need to stay here so you can learn to stand on your own two feet and that you basically feel like you rely on me too much and that bothers you even though I’ve told you that it doesn’t bother me. Is that right?”
Shrugging slightly, Max nodded uncomfortably. “More or less.”
Liz nodded too. “Why?”, she asked succinctly.
Max’s eyes widened a little. “Uh….why….”
“Why does it bother you to need me?”
“I……I told you…why…..”
“You told me that you feel like sometimes you need me so much it scares you and that it was a burden to me, but you also told me that you believe me when I told you that I need you just as much.” Liz took a deep breath, seeing the frown wrinkling his brow. “The other night at your Mom’s house, I felt how much you needed me Max. When we kissed, I could feel what you were feeling and then…..you apologized for it. I understand that since Tess has been gone that you’ve felt…..a lot of things that you aren’t used to feeling but why…..why is it so hard for you to admit to needing me.”
Staring at her for a moment, Max got up from the blanket and turned away from her, and Liz watched him, feeling a little of his inner turmoil. When he finally turned back, his face was conflicted. “I told you…..that it wasn’t fair to you…..”
“No Max,” Liz interrupted, getting up to face him. “That isn’t it. I’m asking you…..inside,” she touched the middle of his chest, “why. Why are you so afraid of needing me?”
“I’m not….afraid…..”
“You are Max,” Liz said quietly, hating the way he flinched, but not relenting. “I felt it.”
He shook his head and started to turn away again but Liz stopped him. “Please Max. We need to talk about this.”
“Why…” Max’s voice was raised and hoarse. “Why are you ….”
“Because,” Liz answered him. “Because something else is going on besides what you’ve said and I don’t think you even realize it. You’re asking me to accept being a thousand miles away from you voluntarily and I need to understand why.”
Why, why. She kept asking him why, and Max wanted to run from her. He hadn’t felt this way since the night he’d run to Zan’s grave during the party before graduation. This need to get away from the things she was forcing him to confront.
Liz felt his turbulent emotions and almost relented. She knew he was close to shutting down completely so he wouldn’t have to face what she was asking, but seeing his reaction, she knew now that she had been on target. Something major was causing this problem, and he was refusing to face it. Liz reached out tentatively to touch his arm, but he didn’t see it and stepped away.
A rumble of thunder sounded overhead suddenly and Liz looked up to see that the clouds on the horizon had moved in. Liz had lived in New Mexico all of her life and she knew how fast the weather could change. The sky was darkening and the wind was picking up as if their emotions were feeding the storm. Wrapping her arms around herself for a moment, she took a calming breath and turned back to Max.
“Max…..listen to me. I’m not doing this to hurt you. I love you. More than anything. More than anyone. I’m doing this to help us…to help you……”
“I don’t…..I can’t……” Max paced away from her, fighting the urge to curl up in a ball on the ground and hide. God, he hated this. He hated feeling this way. He thought he was over this. Sitting back down on the blanket, he brought his knees up, resting his forehead against them, wrapping his arms under his thighs.
Watching him rock, Liz closed her eyes against the tears threatening and knelt beside him, laying her head on his back and wrapping her arms around him. She didn’t say anything, just held him, letting him feel her love and her sorrow for hurting him, allowing him to come to terms with himself.
Sitting there feeling Liz’s warmth and comfort surrounding him, Max breathed against the sick feeling in his stomach. He knew the answer to her question but he didn’t want to voice it. He didn’t want to voice it because it would hurt her as much as it was hurting him. She was right….he hadn’t realized it until she made him think about it. It wasn’t even a clear thought….just feelings. But he knew deep down where they were coming from. Shaking his head against his knees, he felt the tears drip onto his pants from beneath his closed eyelids. He wanted so badly to not answer her, to spare her his pain, but he knew she wouldn’t let him.
Finally lifting his head, Max felt Liz slide from her perch and sit next to him, and he faced her, taking her face in his hands, staring into her eyes. Liz knew immediately what he was doing and reached out to him, letting their connection open. She was immediately bombarded by his emotions, his pain…his guilt …..his fear. She saw herself as he’d first shown her through his eyes, beautiful….and out of reach. She saw how her acceptance of his secret and her words the night of the Crash Festival had humbled and awed him.
“Liz….it’s not safe….”
“I don’t care.”
She felt how much it hurt him to step back from her the night of their first date, fearing the feelings they were feeling for each other…. and later how he finally had to give in to them. She felt his growing acceptance that their love was meant to be and how he gradually allowed himself to give in to his love…and his need for her. She saw how that need had escalated once he did give in to it….that as she began to mean everything to him, everything else became secondary. She saw how when Tess entered their lives and began creating havoc, the intensity of his fear of losing her. And finally, she felt his devastation when she walked away from him the day at the Pod Chamber and later the final blow when he saw her with Kyle in her bed.
As Max let their connection dim, Liz realized finally what he’d been trying to show her. His inner feelings became clear…feelings he hadn’t even realized were there until she confronted him with them. She looked up into his eyes and saw the pain…and regret there feeling sick to her stomach.
She’d done this to him. Liz hadn’t completely known when he’d told her she was everything to him that day at the Pod Chamber just how much he truly meant it. He’d let her into his heart, his mind….his soul….and she walked away from him. He’d gone against every instinct he’d had for ten long, lonely years and trusted her with his love….and she’d thrown it back in his face by intentionally making him believe that she slept with someone else.
Pulling away from him, Liz felt the tears burning her throat at her realization. Max hadn’t intentionally kept this from her. He hadn’t even understood himself. He just knew that whenever his feelings of need became too intense, he immediately shied away. He’d thought it was because of being a burden to Liz, and that was still true. But obviously deep down…..he was afraid for himself. Afraid that he would leave himself vulnerable to be hurt again. Hurt by her. The love of his life.
“No!” Max grabbed her arm and pulled her around to face him when he realized through the intensity of the emotions through their connection what she was thinking. “No Liz. That isn’t it.”
“Isn’t it?” she said hoarsely, her voice husky with tears. “I did this to you, Max.” The wind was whipping her hair around her face and she impatiently shoved it back, not noticing the darkness of the sky above. Lightening lit the sky followed by thunder, but they were too preoccupied to take heed.
No….Liz….listen to me.” Max held her arms so she would face him, hating the guilt and devastation on her face. “I don’t feel that way. I trust you. More than anyone. I trust you with my life.”
“But not with your love,” Liz whispered.
“No!” Max said again, shaking her slightly in desperation, neither of them realizing that they were raising their voices to be heard above the wind and the thunder rumbling above. “I do love you. You know that. God, Liz. You have to know that.”
Liz shook her head, the tears still streaming. “But you don’t trust me with it. You don’t trust me not to hurt you again.”
Staring at her in desperation, Max didn’t know what to do. The wind shrieked around them, the water on the lake rippling wildly, spraying them with mist. Liz shook her head again, trying to pull away, but Max hauled her back, taking the sides of her head. His lips crushed down onto hers just as a huge crack of lightening lit the sky, followed by a tremendous crash of thunder. The heavens opened up and rain fell, drenching them. Max ravaged her mouth, opening his soul, trying to make her see how wrong she was. Liz clung to him, not feeling the pelting rain as his emotions roared into her, drowning out her fears with the intensity of his love, his need, his passion for her. All for her.
Her knees buckled and they fell to the ground. Their kisses were wild, frantic, their hands desperately tearing at clothing, trying to expose skin. The storm fed their passion as Liz’s shirt fell open to Max’s rending fingers. His mouth sucked at her skin leaving marks as he blindly made his way down to her heaving breasts. He lifted his head to look down at her, the trails of water running down her face as she gazed up at him, eyes dark with desire and longing. Reaching between them, Max waved his hand over the clasp of her bra and it fell open revealing her beauty to him.
Her breasts were round and firm…perfect. He watched the nipples pebble from the cool rain and a tortured sound came from his throat. He had to taste them. Bending his dark head, Max took one in his mouth, moaning at the feel of it on his tongue. The noise Liz made was drowned out by the storm, but the hands clutching his hair spoke volumes.
God, she tasted so good. Her skin was velvet, made for his touch, his mouth. Max couldn’t think, only feel as she overwhelmed him with her desire in his head and the feel of her body arching into his. He didn’t realize that he was lying directly on top of her until he heard her gasp, the hard evidence of his arousal sliding into the juncture of her thighs. Liz’s legs came around his waist and they both moaned as she arched against him again. There was no fear, no guilt just the unbelievable pleasure of finally being together this way.
Max blindly moved back to her lips as he unconsciously ground his erection into Liz’s heat. She kissed him back wildly, devouring his lips, sucking on his tongue, the feel of his hardness between her legs causing indescribable feelings. The rain and wind on her exposed breasts was an erotic stimulant, adding to the growing ache in her body. She didn’t know what was happening, she just knew that she needed him to keep doing what he was doing.
Suddenly, Liz tore her lips away from his gasping as her body stiffened against him. Her legs tightened convulsively around his hips and Max felt the rise of pleasure sweep through her. She cried out against the storm and Max clutched her, panting against her neck, feeling the trembling ecstasy course through her, the ache of his own unfulfilled passion acute. But he held onto his control by a thread, still unable to let go, holding himself rigid until the feeling finally passed.
They lay there for a few short moments catching their breath. Max lifted his head to look down at Liz, seeing the rain still running in rivulets over her skin, her eyes closed, her lips parted as she breathed quickly through her mouth.
“Liz…..”
She opened her eyes to stare up at him in wonder. “Max…...”
Suddenly overhead, a loud crack was heard as lightening streaked the sky, and Max sheltered her with his body as thunder roared again. They heard what sounded like a large branch fall from one of the trees not far away, and Max looked around as if suddenly realizing they were in the middle of a raging thunderstorm.
“We’d better get back to the car,” Max said lifting himself up, reaching down to help Liz to her feet. Looking down self consciously at her clothing, Liz quickly refastened her bra and pulled her shirt closed as Max gathered the blanket and basket. Taking her hand, they ran back the way they had come, the rain and wind making it much more difficult than the first time. When they finally reached the car, Max quickly threw the things he was carrying in the trunk, grateful that he had had the foresight to put the top of the convertible up earlier.
Max got in on his side and quickly shut the door. He pushed his wet hair back with his hands and looked over at Liz. She sat clutching her shirt closed, water still dripping from her hair and he could see that she was trembling.
“Liz….let me….” Max slid over and quickly ran his hands over her hair and clothing, drying them with his powers. He did the same to his, glancing at Liz uncertainly. She still hadn’t said anything and he realized she was avoiding his gaze. Looking over at her trembling body, her fingers gripping her ripped shirt tightly, Max froze. Oh God. Had he hurt her? He’d practically attacked her. He’d thought she had felt….pleasure but…..maybe she hadn’t really wanted him to……
“No Max…..” She’d suddenly been overwhelmed by his feelings and realized that he’d gotten the wrong idea from her silence. “I’m not…..you didn’t attack me. I wanted you to……” Liz stopped, feeling her face heat up as she dropped her gaze. “I’m just…..I can’t believe I…….”
Max suddenly realized in a blinding rush what was going on, and relief swept through him. She was embarrassed by what happened. Taking a deep breath, Max pulled her hands away from where they were once again held her shirt, repairing it with a sweep of his hand. He kept her hands in his and tried to get her to look at him. “Liz….don’t be….that was so amazing.” He couldn’t think of any other way to describe it.
A small smile appeared as Liz glanced up at him through her lashes, feeling his sincerity through their connection, his words accurately describing his happiness at having given her pleasure. “I’ve never felt…..that before,” she confessed, still a little embarrassed by her wanton behavior. She didn’t know what had come over her. Looking at his shirt, she realized it was in no better shape than hers had been. The buttons were almost completely gone.
As she stared at his bare chest, Liz felt the heat rise in her body again. Swallowing she tried to reign in her thoughts, hoping Max couldn’t read what she was thinking. Good God, if it felt that way with their clothes still on, what was it going to be like when they finally did the real thing? A shiver ran through her body at the thought. With the thought Liz realized something else.
“You didn’t…..I mean…..”
Max shook his head, feeling his own face flush. “No…..” Even now the thought of how close he’d come caused a shiver down his spine, a mixture of longing and dread. Feeling her pleasure had been wonderful but as much as he might want relief from the painful ache of his own unreleased passion, the thought of it still filled him with fear. He wasn’t ready.
“Liz…..I didn’t kiss you to….I only wanted to make you realize….”
Their unfinished conversation suddenly came back to her, and Liz felt her stomach tighten as she remembered how their moment of passion had started. Pulling away from him, she lifted her legs up on the seat to wrap her arms around them. The rain still fell, beating a drumming pattern on the roof, the car a cocoon against the storm, but Liz suddenly wished for more space.
Max felt her sudden shift in mood. “Liz…. I don’t blame you.”
“I felt it, Max. I felt how much I hurt you.” Her voice trembled a little as she looked over at him.
Sighing, Max sat back against the seat, his head tilted back as he closed his eyes. After a moment, he spoke quietly. “It did hurt. I can’t deny that. But Liz….” Max sat up and faced her. “that isn’t what this is about.”
“How can you say that?” Liz said, her voice rising. “That is exactly what this is about. I hurt you so much that you’re afraid to need me. You’re afraid that I’ll rip your heart out like I did before.” Her voice broke as she again relived the feelings she’d felt from him as he saw her smiling with Kyle lying next to her in her bed. It made her sick just thinking about it, especially with her body still throbbing from the pleasure he’d just given her.
“No! Listen to me. Let me try to explain. Please…” His eyes pleaded with her and Liz nodded, wiping at her eyes with the back of her hand.
Max gathered his thoughts, hoping what he said made sense to her. “Liz…..before the shooting… .I was so….isolated. I mean…I had Isabel and Michael…..I know you know that…..but I don’t know if you realize how….alone I was.” He wasn’t looking at her or Max would have seen the sympathetic tears in Liz’s eyes. She knew how lonely he’d been. She’d felt his loneliness the first time he’d connected with her.
“Then….I healed you,” Max continued. “And you were so….wonderful and loving and so….everything I’d hoped for….everything I’d ever wanted…..and….I was overwhelmed. I couldn’t believe you would even talk to me much less love me…..” He swallowed looking down at his hands. “I fought it at first…..to protect you…and myself because I knew it would be…..but…..I finally couldn’t anymore. It was like being starved my whole life and suddenly having all the best food in the world offered to me on a silver platter. I had to have it…had to have you. And it was heaven…..but……” He stopped, shaking his head. “I did exactly what I was afraid I would do. Once I had you……I……it was too much. All of my thoughts….all of my feelings….all of my…..everything…...it was only about you….and…..I liked it that way. I wanted it to be that way forever.”
“And then Tess came…..” The painful bitterness in Max’s voice cut a hole in Liz’s heart. “And everything fell apart.” He stopped to take a breath, and then another, the silence stretching for a long moment and Liz felt his pain acutely, feeling it blend with her own. Then Max spoke again, softly.
“I didn’t blame you for the things you did that hurt me, Liz. You never did any of those things out of malice or selfishness…..you couldn’t. You did them because you thought they were what was best for me….for all of us. I can’t blame you for that.” He finally took a deep breath and looked at her. “But my point is that I realize now that…..loving you like I did…..no not loving you…that could never be wrong….but needing you the way I did…..was wrong. Needing you so overwhelmingly that I could barely function without you…..that’s what I’m afraid of. After I thought you’d slept with Kyle….it wasn’t just painful….it was like….my insides were gone and an empty shell was left. I moved and breathed and did school work, but whatever I had been before…was gone because there didn’t seem to be a me….without you.
“I think that if I had….if I had been a stronger person…..not only would I have been able to see what Tess was doing to me…but I would have trusted in your love more and realized that you would never have slept with Kyle. But I wasn’t.” Max’s breath hitched in his throat before he could stop it, but he swallowed back the lump. “I believed what you told me because deep in my heart, I didn’t trust that I was good enough to deserve you. Deep down I believed that you would realize one day that you had given up your normal existence for someone who was dangerous and not worth it and seeing you with Kyle seemed to prove every one of my insecurities true.”
Max blinked at the tears blurring his vision. “Do you see what I’m trying to say now? It wasn’t you or the things that you did. It was me.”
Liz stared at him for a moment, tears making her dark eyes shimmer before she suddenly crawled across the space separating them to hold him fiercely. Max hugged her back tightly, unable to stop the tears now, feeling Liz’s dampening his chest. They cried silently together for the innocence that had been lost between them so long ago and for the time that had been wasted. Sniffing to try and stop the flow, Max breathed deeply, trying to calm his raging heartbeat. He held her until they both felt their emotions were more under control.
Then Max loosened his fierce hold and lifted his hand to sift her hair back from her face as he spoke. “I know that you love me. I feel it every time we’re together, whether we’re touching or not. You’ve shown me in more ways than I can count and it’s taken me a while….but I trust it, Liz. I trust in your love, otherwise I would never have been able to suggest that you go to Illinois without me. I would go with you just to make sure that you didn’t meet someone else who was better for you than me. I know you, and I know that even being apart, that you will still love me.”
“But I want our relationship to be healthy….normal, and right now…it’s not. I’m not.” He pulled his hands away from her hair and looked down. “My love for you….my need….shouldn’t be a burden…for either or us and until I get it under control…..I think….I should stay here.”
Liz stared at his bent head. She understood his fears so much better now, but the thought of them being apart caused an ache in her heart almost too much to bear.
“Max….you’re wrong. You think I was this strong person, but I wasn’t. When I left you to go to Florida, I wanted to die. The first few weeks, I barely ate, I wouldn’t leave my room. All I could think about was you…the look on your face when I left you….the way it felt to kiss you one last time.” She touched her lips to his and the kiss was racked with their mutual pain.
“After the night you saw me with Kyle…it was the same, Max. Knowing I hurt you….on purpose….thinking of you with Tess…” She pulled back to swipe at the tears on her cheeks. “I wanted to leave….I thought about it…but…I realized that I couldn’t. I couldn’t live without seeing you. Even if you never forgave me for what I did….just being near you was enough.” She lifted her hands to cup his face, trying to make him understand. “Don’t you see? I loved you just as much….I needed you just as much.”
Sitting back from him a little, Liz took a deep breath. “I understand that you need time Max, but….I don’t think we need to be apart while you do this. If you don’t think you can come with me then…I understand that too.” She paused a second, then plunged forward. “I’ve given it some thought and….I’ve decided that if you need to stay here….then I will too.”
“What do you mean?” Max asked, feeling the color draining from his face.
“I mean that I’ll send in my application to ENMU and go to college here until you’re ready to come with me to Northwestern.” Liz looked over at Max’s pale face and rushed forward to stem the objection he was no doubt getting ready to state. “Don’t say no, Max. It really isn’t a big deal. I can start college here and get the basics under my belt and you can too. Then, when we’re both ready, we can go together. It’s the perfect solution.”
Listening to her words, Max felt like someone had kicked him in the gut. On some level, he marveled over what she was willing to do for him, but the rest of him was horrified. There was no way in hell that he was going to let her do this. Max would rather die than have her give up more of her dreams because of him.
“I’ll come to Northwestern.”
Liz’s head shot up as the hoarse words sounded quietly. “What?”
“I’ve changed my mind. I’ll go with you to Illinois.”
“Max…..you don’t have to just because…..”
“I want to. You’re right. If you really feel that strongly about us being apart then……I’m willing to go. I told you before that I wanted to be wherever you are and that hasn’t changed. There’s no need for you to change your plans. I’ll come.” The words were delivered in a trembling voice that belied the calm expression on his face.
Liz looked at him closely, reaching out through their connection to determine if he was sincere, but all she felt was willingness and a fierce determination. Smiling in relief, she slid over and wrapped her arms around his neck. “Thank you,” Liz said, hugging him tightly. “You’ll see, Max. It will be okay. We’ll be together and everything will be fine.”
Max returned her hug, feeling her relief and happiness, and it eased some of the panic that had overtaken him. As long as she was happy, nothing else mattered, he thought, tightening his arms around her. Nothing else mattered.
Liz reached up to kiss him, feeling as though a great weight had been lifted from her shoulders. The kiss was sweet and loving and she smiled with happiness as she snuggled back into his arms.
A few moments later, Max straightened up and looked at his watch, glancing outside to see that it was almost completely dark. “We’d better get back.”
Liz slid over a little and put her seatbelt on, waiting until Max had pulled back onto the highway before sliding back to rest against him. The rain had stopped earlier but the road was still wet so she kept quiet as he concentrated on driving. A little while later, the days events started catching up with her and she leaned her head against his arm, relaxing.
Glancing down, Max saw that Liz’s eyes were closed and he carefully maneuvered his arm from underneath her and guided her head down until it rested on his thigh. Sifting his fingers through her hair, he let the feel of it sooth him as he drove, feeling exhaustion riding the edge of his consciousness but he carefully remained alert. This day had been full of so many ups and downs he felt disoriented and unsettled.
Thoughts of their encounter in the woods came back to him and Max glanced down feeling a measure of satisfaction that he’d been able to give her that unexpected pleasure. His groin tightened at the remembered feeling of her legs wrapped around him and the sound of his name on her lips as she came. He wanted to hear that again and again for the rest of his life and he hoped that one day soon he would be able to overcome his fears and share completely in their union. The thought did nothing to ease his physical discomfort, but he didn’t mind.
He was moving to Chicago. Panic seized him again so abruptly that he couldn’t breath for a moment and the car swerved slightly before he swore and righted it. Breathing deeply, Max looked down again, glad that Liz hadn’t woken up. Her hair was spread across his lap like dark silk. He could see her curve of her eyebrow and the long sweep of her lashes as she slept, and the sight helped to still the panic.
It would be okay. They would be together and Liz would be happy. He could do this. Thinking about her offer to stay, Max unconsciously shook his head. No way. He would walk through the fires of hell before he let her make one more sacrifice for him. It was his turn to do the giving. More than his turn. He had a hell of a long way to go before he was on equal ground with Liz in those terms but this would be a start. Concentrating on the road, Max lay a gentle hand on the precious head in his lap, grim determination settling like a weight in his stomach.
TBC.......
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Thank you.
The next part is venturing more into "R" rated territory and I guess we'll leave the rating there from now on just in case. Please let me know what you think because I'm a little nervous about it.
Everything To You Part 60
Liz looked down into the picnic basket, wondering if she was bringing too much food. “So Mom’s a little irritated because I’m still going, but I told her that Max and I made these plans yesterday and I couldn’t help it if she decided to come back early without telling anyone,” She said as she finished packing the picnic basket on the counter. She tucked the bottle of Tabasco against the side wrapped in napkins in case it leaked.
“Your Mom’s been gone an awful lot over the last year hasn’t she?” Maria observed. She and Michael were sitting at the counter while Liz finished getting ready for her picnic with Max.
“Yeah. You know Aunt Beth has been really sick and Mom feels obligated.”
“But she’s going to be here to fly with you to Illinois when you go, right?”
“Yeah…..if I go,” Liz said, closing the basket. She looked at the clock, seeing that she had a few minutes until Max was due.
“Did you talk to Max yet?” Maria asked, elbowing Michael in the ribs when his hand slid under her shirt. The faint grunt he let out had her smiling in satisfaction.
“That’s what today is for. We’re going to decide.” Liz grinned a little at their antics. “I mean, we have three choices: I go and he stays, we both stay or we both go.”
Michael suddenly stopped his teasing and Maria knew why. He didn’t think there was still a question of whether or not Max was going. She grabbed the hand that had stopped creeping under her shirt, holding it comfortingly.
Liz didn’t notice the sudden shift in mood, she was distracted by Max entering through the glass doors. His lips lifted when he saw her, and she returned his smile, walking forward to meet him halfway.
“Hey,” he said, leaning down to kiss her. “Ready to go?”
“Yeah. The basket’s over here.” Liz led him to the counter.
“Hi,” Max said to Maria and Michael. Maria greeted him, but Michael just nodded noncommittally, picking at the fries on his plate. Max stared at him for a moment, but was distracted by Liz handing him the basket.
“We’ll see you guys later,” Liz said. She headed towards the door, and Max followed.
“Is something wrong with Michael?” Max asked as he held the door open for her, glancing back towards his friend.
“Not that I know of. He seemed fine while we were sitting there. His ribs might hurt a little. Maria kept having to elbow him to make him quit tickling her.” Liz smiled as they settled into the Chevelle.
Inside the CrashDown, Maria still sat with Michael, watching him pick at his food until she couldn’t stand it another second. She started to pull his plate out from under his hand to make him stop fingering it, when he threw down his napkin and stood up.
“I have to get back to work.” Michael barely looked at her as he took some money out of his pocket for the tip and the check. “I’ll see you later.” He turned away from the counter and slunked towards the door.
“Bye,” Maria said to her retreating back, annoyed, but no overly so. She knew what was upsetting him and she knew that eventually they would talk about it. Besides, at least he’d left some money. That was a vast improvement.
“So where are we going?” Liz asked, reaching up to tuck her flying hair behind her ear. With the top down on the Chevelle, it was almost as bad as the jeep had been.
“Bitter Lake.”
“Wow. The last time I was there was in 7th grade for that field trip.”
“I remember,” Max said, smiling a little. It was actually a very vivid memory for him.
Their science class had gone to the park to tour the museum and have a lecture from one of the environmentalists who worked there. They had walked around the museum with the man, listening to him speak about the work the park did with the different species of birds and other animals that lived there. Max stood at the back of the class watching as Liz listened with rapt attention to their instructor and asked several enthusiastic questions. He loved seeing her eyes sparkle as they did when she was interested in something, especially when that something was science.
It was during a break from the lecture for a moment when one of the other students made a snide comment about science geeks loud enough for everyone to hear and Max had watched Liz’s cheeks pinken with embarrassment, the sparkle in her eyes dimming. When the lecturer had returned to continue, Liz was noticeably more subdued and kept quiet, her enthusiasm all but gone.
Max hated seeing her humiliation and had stood for several minutes in indecision, his natural instincts to stay in the background warring with his need to remove that look from his angel’s face. Finally, taking a deep breath and bracing himself, he’d stepped forward to raise his hand, asking a question. He didn’t even remember what the question was now. After the man answered him, he asked another one. After that one was answered, Max moved back some, glancing shyly at Liz who was staring at him gratefully. Her smile had stopped the breath in his throat, but he’d managed to smile tentatively back, slipping back to his usual place behind everyone else. The rest of the day passed in a blur of happiness. She had smiled at him.
“I remember too,” Liz said, taking his hand and rubbing it against her cheek before kissing the knuckles. “Thank you.”
She’d been thinking about the incident as well, and the significance of Max’s gesture took on a whole new meaning now that she knew what she knew about him. How hard it must have been for him to overcome his need to keep quiet just to make her feel better. She wished that she had known about his feelings for her then. She had wanted to say something to him that day after they returned to the bus but he was always so quiet and seemed almost painfully shy. Liz knew now, of course, that it wasn’t just shyness that had kept him from being more extroverted, but she wished that she could have overcome her own feelings of inadequacy and spoken to him more….Who knows how different their lives might have turned out if they had only gotten to know each other sooner.
“It was my pleasure,” Max said, his lip curling at the corner. Liz saw the dimple that appeared and felt a small frission of heat zing through her. Lord, even his dimples turned her on. Taking a deep breath to calm herself, Liz turned her gaze away, smiling.
When they reached the park, they divided their things to carry and Liz followed Max since he seemed to know where he was going. As they kept walking further and further away into the more wooded area, Liz finally spoke.
“Where are we going?”
“It’s just a little further. I wanted us to have some privacy. Do you mind being back here away from the crowd?”
“No, of course, not,” Liz answered him, glad now that she had chosen to where tennis shoes rather than sandals. The day was hot, but back here in the woods, it wasn’t quite as bad. Finally, it seemed that they were coming to a clearing and Max slowed down. The trees were less dense and she saw blue sky ahead. When Max finally came to a stop, she had to admit, it had been worth the trek. They were in front of the lake, but it was secluded and there was plenty of room for their blanket. No other people seemed to be around.
“This is perfect,” Liz said, smiling at him as she set down the blanket.
“I’m glad you like it,” Max said, sitting down with her. They looked out at the lake for a few minutes in silence, enjoying the peaceful scenery. There were a few gray clouds on the horizon, but for the most part, it was a beautiful day.
“Are you hungry?” Liz asked, starting to open the basket.
He wasn’t especially, but Max nodded anyway and they spread out the food that Liz had packed between them. Max noted that there was enough to feed several people, but he just smiled and refrained from commenting. They ate their sandwiches and talked about nothing important. When they finished, they repacked the basket and Max lay back with his hands under his head. Liz snuggled up to him, her head on his chest.
“How’s your Mom?” Liz asked.
“Okay. She didn’t cry today, at least….I didn’t see her cry. But she did fix my favorite breakfast, and she kept staring at me while I was eating this morning with this weird look on her face.”
Liz smiled at the bewildered tone in Max’s voice. It was obvious that his Mom was suffering from some major empty nest syndrome and Max was going to bare the brunt of it. Her smile faded as the thought brought Liz back to other reason they were here today.
“Max…..about school…..” Liz felt the atmosphere change. He didn’t stiffen up exactly, but there was a tenseness, like he was bracing himself for their talk. She sat up and waited for him to do the same, facing each other.
“Do you want me to go first or do you want to?” Liz asked.
“You can go first,” Max said.
“Okay,” Liz said and took a deep breath, looking down at her hands. “I know when we talked the other night that I said I understood why you felt the way you do but…..understanding and agreeing are two different things.” She stopped, hesitant to bring up what she’d been thinking about since the night of the party. She wasn’t a psychologist, but her instincts were telling her that something else besides what he said out loud was going on with regard to why it bothered him to need her the way that he did. Liz didn’t want to upset him, but whatever it was, it needed to be dealt with.
“I want to ask you something.” Liz looked at him and saw his nod, even though his expression was a little wary. “You said that you feel like you need to stay here so you can learn to stand on your own two feet and that you basically feel like you rely on me too much and that bothers you even though I’ve told you that it doesn’t bother me. Is that right?”
Shrugging slightly, Max nodded uncomfortably. “More or less.”
Liz nodded too. “Why?”, she asked succinctly.
Max’s eyes widened a little. “Uh….why….”
“Why does it bother you to need me?”
“I……I told you…why…..”
“You told me that you feel like sometimes you need me so much it scares you and that it was a burden to me, but you also told me that you believe me when I told you that I need you just as much.” Liz took a deep breath, seeing the frown wrinkling his brow. “The other night at your Mom’s house, I felt how much you needed me Max. When we kissed, I could feel what you were feeling and then…..you apologized for it. I understand that since Tess has been gone that you’ve felt…..a lot of things that you aren’t used to feeling but why…..why is it so hard for you to admit to needing me.”
Staring at her for a moment, Max got up from the blanket and turned away from her, and Liz watched him, feeling a little of his inner turmoil. When he finally turned back, his face was conflicted. “I told you…..that it wasn’t fair to you…..”
“No Max,” Liz interrupted, getting up to face him. “That isn’t it. I’m asking you…..inside,” she touched the middle of his chest, “why. Why are you so afraid of needing me?”
“I’m not….afraid…..”
“You are Max,” Liz said quietly, hating the way he flinched, but not relenting. “I felt it.”
He shook his head and started to turn away again but Liz stopped him. “Please Max. We need to talk about this.”
“Why…” Max’s voice was raised and hoarse. “Why are you ….”
“Because,” Liz answered him. “Because something else is going on besides what you’ve said and I don’t think you even realize it. You’re asking me to accept being a thousand miles away from you voluntarily and I need to understand why.”
Why, why. She kept asking him why, and Max wanted to run from her. He hadn’t felt this way since the night he’d run to Zan’s grave during the party before graduation. This need to get away from the things she was forcing him to confront.
Liz felt his turbulent emotions and almost relented. She knew he was close to shutting down completely so he wouldn’t have to face what she was asking, but seeing his reaction, she knew now that she had been on target. Something major was causing this problem, and he was refusing to face it. Liz reached out tentatively to touch his arm, but he didn’t see it and stepped away.
A rumble of thunder sounded overhead suddenly and Liz looked up to see that the clouds on the horizon had moved in. Liz had lived in New Mexico all of her life and she knew how fast the weather could change. The sky was darkening and the wind was picking up as if their emotions were feeding the storm. Wrapping her arms around herself for a moment, she took a calming breath and turned back to Max.
“Max…..listen to me. I’m not doing this to hurt you. I love you. More than anything. More than anyone. I’m doing this to help us…to help you……”
“I don’t…..I can’t……” Max paced away from her, fighting the urge to curl up in a ball on the ground and hide. God, he hated this. He hated feeling this way. He thought he was over this. Sitting back down on the blanket, he brought his knees up, resting his forehead against them, wrapping his arms under his thighs.
Watching him rock, Liz closed her eyes against the tears threatening and knelt beside him, laying her head on his back and wrapping her arms around him. She didn’t say anything, just held him, letting him feel her love and her sorrow for hurting him, allowing him to come to terms with himself.
Sitting there feeling Liz’s warmth and comfort surrounding him, Max breathed against the sick feeling in his stomach. He knew the answer to her question but he didn’t want to voice it. He didn’t want to voice it because it would hurt her as much as it was hurting him. She was right….he hadn’t realized it until she made him think about it. It wasn’t even a clear thought….just feelings. But he knew deep down where they were coming from. Shaking his head against his knees, he felt the tears drip onto his pants from beneath his closed eyelids. He wanted so badly to not answer her, to spare her his pain, but he knew she wouldn’t let him.
Finally lifting his head, Max felt Liz slide from her perch and sit next to him, and he faced her, taking her face in his hands, staring into her eyes. Liz knew immediately what he was doing and reached out to him, letting their connection open. She was immediately bombarded by his emotions, his pain…his guilt …..his fear. She saw herself as he’d first shown her through his eyes, beautiful….and out of reach. She saw how her acceptance of his secret and her words the night of the Crash Festival had humbled and awed him.
“Liz….it’s not safe….”
“I don’t care.”
She felt how much it hurt him to step back from her the night of their first date, fearing the feelings they were feeling for each other…. and later how he finally had to give in to them. She felt his growing acceptance that their love was meant to be and how he gradually allowed himself to give in to his love…and his need for her. She saw how that need had escalated once he did give in to it….that as she began to mean everything to him, everything else became secondary. She saw how when Tess entered their lives and began creating havoc, the intensity of his fear of losing her. And finally, she felt his devastation when she walked away from him the day at the Pod Chamber and later the final blow when he saw her with Kyle in her bed.
As Max let their connection dim, Liz realized finally what he’d been trying to show her. His inner feelings became clear…feelings he hadn’t even realized were there until she confronted him with them. She looked up into his eyes and saw the pain…and regret there feeling sick to her stomach.
She’d done this to him. Liz hadn’t completely known when he’d told her she was everything to him that day at the Pod Chamber just how much he truly meant it. He’d let her into his heart, his mind….his soul….and she walked away from him. He’d gone against every instinct he’d had for ten long, lonely years and trusted her with his love….and she’d thrown it back in his face by intentionally making him believe that she slept with someone else.
Pulling away from him, Liz felt the tears burning her throat at her realization. Max hadn’t intentionally kept this from her. He hadn’t even understood himself. He just knew that whenever his feelings of need became too intense, he immediately shied away. He’d thought it was because of being a burden to Liz, and that was still true. But obviously deep down…..he was afraid for himself. Afraid that he would leave himself vulnerable to be hurt again. Hurt by her. The love of his life.
“No!” Max grabbed her arm and pulled her around to face him when he realized through the intensity of the emotions through their connection what she was thinking. “No Liz. That isn’t it.”
“Isn’t it?” she said hoarsely, her voice husky with tears. “I did this to you, Max.” The wind was whipping her hair around her face and she impatiently shoved it back, not noticing the darkness of the sky above. Lightening lit the sky followed by thunder, but they were too preoccupied to take heed.
No….Liz….listen to me.” Max held her arms so she would face him, hating the guilt and devastation on her face. “I don’t feel that way. I trust you. More than anyone. I trust you with my life.”
“But not with your love,” Liz whispered.
“No!” Max said again, shaking her slightly in desperation, neither of them realizing that they were raising their voices to be heard above the wind and the thunder rumbling above. “I do love you. You know that. God, Liz. You have to know that.”
Liz shook her head, the tears still streaming. “But you don’t trust me with it. You don’t trust me not to hurt you again.”
Staring at her in desperation, Max didn’t know what to do. The wind shrieked around them, the water on the lake rippling wildly, spraying them with mist. Liz shook her head again, trying to pull away, but Max hauled her back, taking the sides of her head. His lips crushed down onto hers just as a huge crack of lightening lit the sky, followed by a tremendous crash of thunder. The heavens opened up and rain fell, drenching them. Max ravaged her mouth, opening his soul, trying to make her see how wrong she was. Liz clung to him, not feeling the pelting rain as his emotions roared into her, drowning out her fears with the intensity of his love, his need, his passion for her. All for her.
Her knees buckled and they fell to the ground. Their kisses were wild, frantic, their hands desperately tearing at clothing, trying to expose skin. The storm fed their passion as Liz’s shirt fell open to Max’s rending fingers. His mouth sucked at her skin leaving marks as he blindly made his way down to her heaving breasts. He lifted his head to look down at her, the trails of water running down her face as she gazed up at him, eyes dark with desire and longing. Reaching between them, Max waved his hand over the clasp of her bra and it fell open revealing her beauty to him.
Her breasts were round and firm…perfect. He watched the nipples pebble from the cool rain and a tortured sound came from his throat. He had to taste them. Bending his dark head, Max took one in his mouth, moaning at the feel of it on his tongue. The noise Liz made was drowned out by the storm, but the hands clutching his hair spoke volumes.
God, she tasted so good. Her skin was velvet, made for his touch, his mouth. Max couldn’t think, only feel as she overwhelmed him with her desire in his head and the feel of her body arching into his. He didn’t realize that he was lying directly on top of her until he heard her gasp, the hard evidence of his arousal sliding into the juncture of her thighs. Liz’s legs came around his waist and they both moaned as she arched against him again. There was no fear, no guilt just the unbelievable pleasure of finally being together this way.
Max blindly moved back to her lips as he unconsciously ground his erection into Liz’s heat. She kissed him back wildly, devouring his lips, sucking on his tongue, the feel of his hardness between her legs causing indescribable feelings. The rain and wind on her exposed breasts was an erotic stimulant, adding to the growing ache in her body. She didn’t know what was happening, she just knew that she needed him to keep doing what he was doing.
Suddenly, Liz tore her lips away from his gasping as her body stiffened against him. Her legs tightened convulsively around his hips and Max felt the rise of pleasure sweep through her. She cried out against the storm and Max clutched her, panting against her neck, feeling the trembling ecstasy course through her, the ache of his own unfulfilled passion acute. But he held onto his control by a thread, still unable to let go, holding himself rigid until the feeling finally passed.
They lay there for a few short moments catching their breath. Max lifted his head to look down at Liz, seeing the rain still running in rivulets over her skin, her eyes closed, her lips parted as she breathed quickly through her mouth.
“Liz…..”
She opened her eyes to stare up at him in wonder. “Max…...”
Suddenly overhead, a loud crack was heard as lightening streaked the sky, and Max sheltered her with his body as thunder roared again. They heard what sounded like a large branch fall from one of the trees not far away, and Max looked around as if suddenly realizing they were in the middle of a raging thunderstorm.
“We’d better get back to the car,” Max said lifting himself up, reaching down to help Liz to her feet. Looking down self consciously at her clothing, Liz quickly refastened her bra and pulled her shirt closed as Max gathered the blanket and basket. Taking her hand, they ran back the way they had come, the rain and wind making it much more difficult than the first time. When they finally reached the car, Max quickly threw the things he was carrying in the trunk, grateful that he had had the foresight to put the top of the convertible up earlier.
Max got in on his side and quickly shut the door. He pushed his wet hair back with his hands and looked over at Liz. She sat clutching her shirt closed, water still dripping from her hair and he could see that she was trembling.
“Liz….let me….” Max slid over and quickly ran his hands over her hair and clothing, drying them with his powers. He did the same to his, glancing at Liz uncertainly. She still hadn’t said anything and he realized she was avoiding his gaze. Looking over at her trembling body, her fingers gripping her ripped shirt tightly, Max froze. Oh God. Had he hurt her? He’d practically attacked her. He’d thought she had felt….pleasure but…..maybe she hadn’t really wanted him to……
“No Max…..” She’d suddenly been overwhelmed by his feelings and realized that he’d gotten the wrong idea from her silence. “I’m not…..you didn’t attack me. I wanted you to……” Liz stopped, feeling her face heat up as she dropped her gaze. “I’m just…..I can’t believe I…….”
Max suddenly realized in a blinding rush what was going on, and relief swept through him. She was embarrassed by what happened. Taking a deep breath, Max pulled her hands away from where they were once again held her shirt, repairing it with a sweep of his hand. He kept her hands in his and tried to get her to look at him. “Liz….don’t be….that was so amazing.” He couldn’t think of any other way to describe it.
A small smile appeared as Liz glanced up at him through her lashes, feeling his sincerity through their connection, his words accurately describing his happiness at having given her pleasure. “I’ve never felt…..that before,” she confessed, still a little embarrassed by her wanton behavior. She didn’t know what had come over her. Looking at his shirt, she realized it was in no better shape than hers had been. The buttons were almost completely gone.
As she stared at his bare chest, Liz felt the heat rise in her body again. Swallowing she tried to reign in her thoughts, hoping Max couldn’t read what she was thinking. Good God, if it felt that way with their clothes still on, what was it going to be like when they finally did the real thing? A shiver ran through her body at the thought. With the thought Liz realized something else.
“You didn’t…..I mean…..”
Max shook his head, feeling his own face flush. “No…..” Even now the thought of how close he’d come caused a shiver down his spine, a mixture of longing and dread. Feeling her pleasure had been wonderful but as much as he might want relief from the painful ache of his own unreleased passion, the thought of it still filled him with fear. He wasn’t ready.
“Liz…..I didn’t kiss you to….I only wanted to make you realize….”
Their unfinished conversation suddenly came back to her, and Liz felt her stomach tighten as she remembered how their moment of passion had started. Pulling away from him, she lifted her legs up on the seat to wrap her arms around them. The rain still fell, beating a drumming pattern on the roof, the car a cocoon against the storm, but Liz suddenly wished for more space.
Max felt her sudden shift in mood. “Liz…. I don’t blame you.”
“I felt it, Max. I felt how much I hurt you.” Her voice trembled a little as she looked over at him.
Sighing, Max sat back against the seat, his head tilted back as he closed his eyes. After a moment, he spoke quietly. “It did hurt. I can’t deny that. But Liz….” Max sat up and faced her. “that isn’t what this is about.”
“How can you say that?” Liz said, her voice rising. “That is exactly what this is about. I hurt you so much that you’re afraid to need me. You’re afraid that I’ll rip your heart out like I did before.” Her voice broke as she again relived the feelings she’d felt from him as he saw her smiling with Kyle lying next to her in her bed. It made her sick just thinking about it, especially with her body still throbbing from the pleasure he’d just given her.
“No! Listen to me. Let me try to explain. Please…” His eyes pleaded with her and Liz nodded, wiping at her eyes with the back of her hand.
Max gathered his thoughts, hoping what he said made sense to her. “Liz…..before the shooting… .I was so….isolated. I mean…I had Isabel and Michael…..I know you know that…..but I don’t know if you realize how….alone I was.” He wasn’t looking at her or Max would have seen the sympathetic tears in Liz’s eyes. She knew how lonely he’d been. She’d felt his loneliness the first time he’d connected with her.
“Then….I healed you,” Max continued. “And you were so….wonderful and loving and so….everything I’d hoped for….everything I’d ever wanted…..and….I was overwhelmed. I couldn’t believe you would even talk to me much less love me…..” He swallowed looking down at his hands. “I fought it at first…..to protect you…and myself because I knew it would be…..but…..I finally couldn’t anymore. It was like being starved my whole life and suddenly having all the best food in the world offered to me on a silver platter. I had to have it…had to have you. And it was heaven…..but……” He stopped, shaking his head. “I did exactly what I was afraid I would do. Once I had you……I……it was too much. All of my thoughts….all of my feelings….all of my…..everything…...it was only about you….and…..I liked it that way. I wanted it to be that way forever.”
“And then Tess came…..” The painful bitterness in Max’s voice cut a hole in Liz’s heart. “And everything fell apart.” He stopped to take a breath, and then another, the silence stretching for a long moment and Liz felt his pain acutely, feeling it blend with her own. Then Max spoke again, softly.
“I didn’t blame you for the things you did that hurt me, Liz. You never did any of those things out of malice or selfishness…..you couldn’t. You did them because you thought they were what was best for me….for all of us. I can’t blame you for that.” He finally took a deep breath and looked at her. “But my point is that I realize now that…..loving you like I did…..no not loving you…that could never be wrong….but needing you the way I did…..was wrong. Needing you so overwhelmingly that I could barely function without you…..that’s what I’m afraid of. After I thought you’d slept with Kyle….it wasn’t just painful….it was like….my insides were gone and an empty shell was left. I moved and breathed and did school work, but whatever I had been before…was gone because there didn’t seem to be a me….without you.
“I think that if I had….if I had been a stronger person…..not only would I have been able to see what Tess was doing to me…but I would have trusted in your love more and realized that you would never have slept with Kyle. But I wasn’t.” Max’s breath hitched in his throat before he could stop it, but he swallowed back the lump. “I believed what you told me because deep in my heart, I didn’t trust that I was good enough to deserve you. Deep down I believed that you would realize one day that you had given up your normal existence for someone who was dangerous and not worth it and seeing you with Kyle seemed to prove every one of my insecurities true.”
Max blinked at the tears blurring his vision. “Do you see what I’m trying to say now? It wasn’t you or the things that you did. It was me.”
Liz stared at him for a moment, tears making her dark eyes shimmer before she suddenly crawled across the space separating them to hold him fiercely. Max hugged her back tightly, unable to stop the tears now, feeling Liz’s dampening his chest. They cried silently together for the innocence that had been lost between them so long ago and for the time that had been wasted. Sniffing to try and stop the flow, Max breathed deeply, trying to calm his raging heartbeat. He held her until they both felt their emotions were more under control.
Then Max loosened his fierce hold and lifted his hand to sift her hair back from her face as he spoke. “I know that you love me. I feel it every time we’re together, whether we’re touching or not. You’ve shown me in more ways than I can count and it’s taken me a while….but I trust it, Liz. I trust in your love, otherwise I would never have been able to suggest that you go to Illinois without me. I would go with you just to make sure that you didn’t meet someone else who was better for you than me. I know you, and I know that even being apart, that you will still love me.”
“But I want our relationship to be healthy….normal, and right now…it’s not. I’m not.” He pulled his hands away from her hair and looked down. “My love for you….my need….shouldn’t be a burden…for either or us and until I get it under control…..I think….I should stay here.”
Liz stared at his bent head. She understood his fears so much better now, but the thought of them being apart caused an ache in her heart almost too much to bear.
“Max….you’re wrong. You think I was this strong person, but I wasn’t. When I left you to go to Florida, I wanted to die. The first few weeks, I barely ate, I wouldn’t leave my room. All I could think about was you…the look on your face when I left you….the way it felt to kiss you one last time.” She touched her lips to his and the kiss was racked with their mutual pain.
“After the night you saw me with Kyle…it was the same, Max. Knowing I hurt you….on purpose….thinking of you with Tess…” She pulled back to swipe at the tears on her cheeks. “I wanted to leave….I thought about it…but…I realized that I couldn’t. I couldn’t live without seeing you. Even if you never forgave me for what I did….just being near you was enough.” She lifted her hands to cup his face, trying to make him understand. “Don’t you see? I loved you just as much….I needed you just as much.”
Sitting back from him a little, Liz took a deep breath. “I understand that you need time Max, but….I don’t think we need to be apart while you do this. If you don’t think you can come with me then…I understand that too.” She paused a second, then plunged forward. “I’ve given it some thought and….I’ve decided that if you need to stay here….then I will too.”
“What do you mean?” Max asked, feeling the color draining from his face.
“I mean that I’ll send in my application to ENMU and go to college here until you’re ready to come with me to Northwestern.” Liz looked over at Max’s pale face and rushed forward to stem the objection he was no doubt getting ready to state. “Don’t say no, Max. It really isn’t a big deal. I can start college here and get the basics under my belt and you can too. Then, when we’re both ready, we can go together. It’s the perfect solution.”
Listening to her words, Max felt like someone had kicked him in the gut. On some level, he marveled over what she was willing to do for him, but the rest of him was horrified. There was no way in hell that he was going to let her do this. Max would rather die than have her give up more of her dreams because of him.
“I’ll come to Northwestern.”
Liz’s head shot up as the hoarse words sounded quietly. “What?”
“I’ve changed my mind. I’ll go with you to Illinois.”
“Max…..you don’t have to just because…..”
“I want to. You’re right. If you really feel that strongly about us being apart then……I’m willing to go. I told you before that I wanted to be wherever you are and that hasn’t changed. There’s no need for you to change your plans. I’ll come.” The words were delivered in a trembling voice that belied the calm expression on his face.
Liz looked at him closely, reaching out through their connection to determine if he was sincere, but all she felt was willingness and a fierce determination. Smiling in relief, she slid over and wrapped her arms around his neck. “Thank you,” Liz said, hugging him tightly. “You’ll see, Max. It will be okay. We’ll be together and everything will be fine.”
Max returned her hug, feeling her relief and happiness, and it eased some of the panic that had overtaken him. As long as she was happy, nothing else mattered, he thought, tightening his arms around her. Nothing else mattered.
Liz reached up to kiss him, feeling as though a great weight had been lifted from her shoulders. The kiss was sweet and loving and she smiled with happiness as she snuggled back into his arms.
A few moments later, Max straightened up and looked at his watch, glancing outside to see that it was almost completely dark. “We’d better get back.”
Liz slid over a little and put her seatbelt on, waiting until Max had pulled back onto the highway before sliding back to rest against him. The rain had stopped earlier but the road was still wet so she kept quiet as he concentrated on driving. A little while later, the days events started catching up with her and she leaned her head against his arm, relaxing.
Glancing down, Max saw that Liz’s eyes were closed and he carefully maneuvered his arm from underneath her and guided her head down until it rested on his thigh. Sifting his fingers through her hair, he let the feel of it sooth him as he drove, feeling exhaustion riding the edge of his consciousness but he carefully remained alert. This day had been full of so many ups and downs he felt disoriented and unsettled.
Thoughts of their encounter in the woods came back to him and Max glanced down feeling a measure of satisfaction that he’d been able to give her that unexpected pleasure. His groin tightened at the remembered feeling of her legs wrapped around him and the sound of his name on her lips as she came. He wanted to hear that again and again for the rest of his life and he hoped that one day soon he would be able to overcome his fears and share completely in their union. The thought did nothing to ease his physical discomfort, but he didn’t mind.
He was moving to Chicago. Panic seized him again so abruptly that he couldn’t breath for a moment and the car swerved slightly before he swore and righted it. Breathing deeply, Max looked down again, glad that Liz hadn’t woken up. Her hair was spread across his lap like dark silk. He could see her curve of her eyebrow and the long sweep of her lashes as she slept, and the sight helped to still the panic.
It would be okay. They would be together and Liz would be happy. He could do this. Thinking about her offer to stay, Max unconsciously shook his head. No way. He would walk through the fires of hell before he let her make one more sacrifice for him. It was his turn to do the giving. More than his turn. He had a hell of a long way to go before he was on equal ground with Liz in those terms but this would be a start. Concentrating on the road, Max lay a gentle hand on the precious head in his lap, grim determination settling like a weight in his stomach.
TBC.......
Last edited by sylvia37 on Sun Nov 23, 2003 8:09 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Lisa: Do we have any food that wasn't brutally slaughtered?
Homer: Well, I think the veal died of loneliness.
Homer: Well, I think the veal died of loneliness.
Hi everyone. I'm going to post quick tonight so I just want to say thanks for all the comments and bumps. Hope you enjoy the new part. Let me know.
Everything to You Part 61
Maria glanced around as she carefully made her way down the steps of the UFO center. Her heels were a little high to be going down those steps with any speed. The place was moderately busy, but not too. It was a pretty nice day out for the middle of July so people were outside. She looked around for a few moments but didn’t see Max so she finally tracked down Brody.
“Hi Maria. He’s in the back shelving books,” Brody said, his eyes alight with appreciation for her sun kissed skin and curling hair.
Maria smiled back at him. “Thanks,” she said, her smile still in place as she made her way to the library area. Even though she had no lingering feelings for the man, she couldn’t help the feeling of feminine satisfaction at being looked at with male appreciation.
She could here noise as she approached the bookshelves. She finally spotted Max standing in between the shelves, his hand braced against one as a huge yawn cracked his jaws. He reached up to rub his eyes with the heels of his hands before picking up the next book.
“Max,” Maria said approaching.
“Maria,” he said surprised. “Is Liz here?” he asked looking behind her.
“Sorry, Romeo. Juliet had to stay at the restaurant. She got a big table right after she put in your order. She asked me to bring this to you.” Maria handed him the bag with his sandwich and fries, putting his drink on a nearby table.
“Thanks,” Max said. Maria noticed that tension she hadn’t even realized was there seemed to dissipate from his shoulders at her response.
That wasn’t his usual reaction to seeing her instead of Liz. Looking at him overtly, she was concerned to see the shadows under his eyes. She’d noticed them last night when they were all at his mother’s house for dinner as well. Last night had been a little surreal, actually. They were eating dinner and Liz had been chattering away in excitement about school and having received her roommate assignment in the mail and Maria had looked at Max who just sat there listening. Although he seemed interested and relaxed, she could tell that it was just a façade and his plate had remained mostly untouched.
What was so weird about it was that Liz didn’t seem to notice Max’s lack of enthusiasm. For someone who was usually so in tune with his feelings, she was strangely oblivious. Girlfriend was in major denial, and Maria was determined to find out what was going on.
Max hid another yawn behind his hand as he shelved another book before sitting down at the table to eat his lunch. Maria hesitated for a minute before sitting down with him.
“So……what’s up? Are you coming to the club tonight with Liz?” Maria asked as she watched him toy with his food.
Yeah, I’ll be there. Um….nothings up. Just working and…..I don’t know….nothing.”
“Liz seemed pretty excited about college last night.” Maria said casually, but she immediately noticed the way his lips tightened with tension even though Max’s expression didn’t change.
“Yeah.”
“You made her really happy by agreeing to go with her,” Maria observed, noting that he seemed to give up eating all together and reach for his drink.
“I know.” Max said, avoiding her gaze. He rubbed a tired finger over his forehead. Maria watched him for another moment, then gave up the subtle approach. It wasn’t her style anyway.
“Okay, Max. What the hell’s up? You look like you haven’t slept in a week and you’ve barely touched that sandwich.”
Max glanced at her fleetingly before shrugging. “Nothing’s up. I just didn’t sleep well last night and shelving these books isn’t exactly challenging work. The sandwich had too much mayonnaise and not enough Tobasco.”
“You’re a terrible liar. Come on. This is me you’re talking to. Fess up. What’s really going on?”
“Nothing’s going on Maria. Just….let it go,” Max finished a little testily, getting up to throw his uneaten lunch away. “Don’t you have to get back…..or something?”
Watching him pick up another book to shelve, Maria sat quietly for second. “I should be insulted by your obvious attempt to get rid of me, but Michael’s burned all the thin skin right off me with his lack of manners.”
Max actually smiled a little at her comment. “You’ll straighten him out eventually, I’m sure,” he said.
“No doubt. He’s a hundred percent better than he was when we first met. But…..I don’t want him to change too much. As hard to as it is to believe, I actually love him the way he is.”
“He’s very lucky to have you….and I think he knows it.”
“You bet he does because I remind it of it everyday,” Maria said, smiling. There was a moment of companionable silence before she said, “He’s been a little…..more Michaelish lately though. I think it’s because he’s upset about you leaving. He would say that out loud of course, but …..”
“I know he is,” Max said, frowning. He shook his head. “I…..don’t know what to do about that. Everything’s changing so fast…..we’re all going to have to learn to adjust.” This last part was said somewhat grimly with resignation.
Maria stared at him for a moment. “Max, did Liz mention to you about staying here instead of you going there?”
Shoulders stiffening, Max paused in his shelving for a moment before continuing. “Yes.”
Getting up, Maria approached him, taking his arm to turn him around and face her. Studying his closed expression, she shook her head. “Max…sweetie you’re a mess. You only told Liz you would go with her because she said that she would stay here if you didn’t right?”
Shaking his head, Max backed away from her perceptive gaze. “No. I want to go. You don’t think that I would rather be with Liz than anything else in the world?”
“I know you would,” Maria answered. “But I also know that you were planning to stay here until the two of you went off on your picnic a couple of weeks ago. I know that Liz was going to try and convince you to go with her, and that she was considering staying here if you didn’t.” Maria closed in again to take his chin and look him straight in the eye. “I also know that you would rather die than make Liz unhappy, and that you look like hell.” Letting go, she sat back down at the table.
“Tell me why you were originally going to stay.”
Max stared at her for a brief moment before hesitantly giving her an abbreviated version of the reasons he’d given Liz.
Listening to Max speak, Maria could hear the anxiety in his voice even though he did a good job of not showing it on his face, but then he’d always been good at hiding his true feelings.
“Come sit down, Max.” Maria said when he’d finished. He sighed and sat next to her, folding his arms in front of him on the table. Maria reached out and touched his arm, holding it in an affectionate clasp. She searched his eyes, seeing the strain there and shook her head. “You can’t do this. For some reason, Liz can’t see what this decision is doing to you, but I can. I don’t know if she’s just so afraid to be apart from you or….or I don’t know but….you’ve got to tell her. You’re having nightmares again aren’t you?”
Dropping his gaze, Max nodded his head. “Some,” he admitted reluctantly. “I don’t sleep enough to have them very often.” He shook his head. “I can’t tell her, Maria. She’s so happy. In all the time we’ve been together, hardly anything in our relationship has made her happy. I can’t ruin that.”
“Do you honestly think that if she realized what you were going through that she would be happy? What do you think is going to happen when you get to Northwestern?” Maria looked at him in sympathetic apology. “Forgive me for saying this, but if you keep going on this way and you get out there and can’t handle it, do you think that’s going to make her happy? My God, Max.” She gestured towards the way she’d come in. “You almost looked relieved when you didn’t see Liz with me today. Relieved Max.”
Staring into the concerned gaze, Max let the denial trembling on his lips die as his head sank down to rest on his arms. She was right in a way. It wasn’t so much that it was relief that Liz hadn’t come, it was just so hard to keep up the pretense that everything was okay when she was around and he was so tired he could barely think straight right now. It was a relief just to sit here and unburden himself with a friend. But that didn’t mean he was going to change his mind.
“I’m going to talk to her Max,” Maria said.
“No!” Max jerked his head up and grabbed her arm. “You can’t do that Maria. This is between me and Liz. Besides….I’m fine. It’s just normal jitters about moving into an unknown situation. I’ll get over it. Once we’re there and everything settles down into a routine….I’ll be fine. Liz will be there with me and that is all I care about.”
“Max, you’re not fine. You’re a fucking basket case, excuse my French. I’m not saying you shouldn’t go, I’m just saying you should talk to Liz ….or someone about how you really feel.”
Max got up from the table and turned away from her sympathetic gaze. He wished she would stop doing this because it wasn’t helping. It was beyond pathetic that he was even feeling this anxiety and talking about it with Liz was only going to embarrass him and guilt trip her.
“Please….” Max closed his eyes at how hoarse his voice came out and he swallowed to ease his throat. “Leave it alone Maria. I promise….everything will be okay. I won’t do anything to hurt Liz. I can handle this.”
Sighing in exasperation, Maria stood up. “I’m not worried about you hurting Liz, you idiot. I’m worried about you.”
Max turned around and it broke her heart to see the expression on his face, as though he were truly surprised that someone other than Liz or his family could care about him. Shaking her head, she stepped closer. “I care about you Max. Not just because you’re Liz’s boyfriend or because you’re Michael’s brother. I care about you, and you’re right, I am worried about how this is going to affect Liz…. but I’m also worried about how it’s affecting you. And how it’s affecting Michael too. He put on a brave front for you guys when Isabel left, but it was really hard on him. He was really relieved when he thought you were staying but now…...you’re his family, Max. He needs you. He may not like admitting that but….”
“I need him too,” Max said, his heart heavy as he thought about Michael.
She was right. It was hard for the both of them to admit that they needed each other, and he was aware that Michael had digressed somewhat into his previous surlier self since finding out that he was leaving with Liz. It only added to Max’s stress to think about hurting his friend but….Liz’s feelings came first. He hated having to choose but how was this different then it had been for the last three years, Max thought with a touch of bitterness. He’d been caught in the middle between Liz and Michael and Isabel since the day he’d healed her. He hadn’t always made the right choice in the past, but he wouldn’t make that mistake again. Liz came first. End of story.
“I’ll talk to him, okay?” Max said tiredly, rubbing his forehead again and Maria felt bad that she’d added to his already overflowing sense of guilt.
“I’m sorry, Max.” she said.
He shook his head and smiled although it didn’t reach his eyes. “Don’t be. I’m glad that you care enough to say something but really….it’s going to be okay. And please…..don’t say anything to Liz. You know that she deserves this. I can’t let her give up going because of me. I just can’t.”
Looking at him for a moment in indecision, Maria finally shook her head. “All right, but only for right now. If I don’t see some improvement I can’t promise anything. I care too much about the two of you to let you do something that may end up hurting you both in the long run.”
“Fair enough,” Max answered, relief evident in his voice.
“I’ll see you later. What time do you get off from here?” Maria asked, moving towards the exit.
“3:00.”
“Then go home and get some sleep. I expect to see you dancing tonight. It looks bad when members of the audience are falling asleep.”
A genuine smile graced Max’s lips. “Yes ma’am.” He watched her leave, then turned back to the book shelf, sighing as he picked up another book.
Sleep. He longed for it. Needed it. But the minute he closed his eyes at night, demons in his subconscious came out to play. They tormented him with his failings and anxieties until he woke up practically screaming, heart pounding as though he’d run a marathon and covered in sweat.
But Maria was right. He needed to get a grip. This was getting ridiculous. He was practically nineteen years old and he was acting like a baby. Teenagers moved away from home for college everyday and survived just fine. And truth be told, he hadn’t felt like a teenager for a very long time now.
Looking around to make sure he was alone, Max put a healing hand up to his eyes, easing the grittiness and ache from lack of sleep. Maybe he would try to take nap when he got home. He needed to get some rest so he could be himself when he was with Liz. Despite what Maria said, he knew that Liz wasn’t deliberately closing her eyes to his problems. In her mind, his problems were something for them to work on together, and doing it here or doing it in Illinois was all the same to her. Max really wished he felt that way too.
Yeah, a nap would be good, he thought a moment later as he yawned again.
***************************
“Wow, she’s really good,” Jenna Nolan addressed Kyle, Max, Liz, and Michael, staring up at the stage where Maria was singing. “I mean, I knew she was pretty good when I came to the Kareoke night at the CrashDown, but this is different.”
“It’s what she’s always wanted to do,” Liz said.
They were all sitting at a table close to the stage. Kyle had brought Jenna for the first time and they’d been getting to know her a little better. She was about Kyle’s height, with long, light brown hair and blue eyes. She had the pretty angular features of a southwestern girl and she fit Kyle to a tee. They were comfortable with each other and Liz was extremely happy that he’d found someone who made him feel loved and important. His self esteem had taken such a beating in the last three years, Liz had always felt guilty that he seemed to come out with the short end of the stick. Now though, Kyle seemed confident and relaxed, more like his old self again.
The song ended and they all clapped loudly while Maria thanked the audience and told them she was taking a break. As she came off the stage, a man intercepted her and she stopped to talk. Seeing Michael’s frown a moment later, Liz looked over and saw that the man had taken hold of her arm and Maria looked like she was getting angry. Michael stood up from his chair to make his way over there when Maria finally shook the man off and approached their table.
“Some people don’t know when to take “No” for an answer,” she said, reaching for the drink that Michael had gotten for her.
“What did he say?” Michael asked, staring after the guy who was up at the bar now.
“Nothing important. He just didn’t quite get that singing on stage for an audience does not equal whore. I set him straight.”
“He called you a whore?” Michael said in a somewhat deadly voice that did not bode well for the man now staring at them from across the room.
Maria looked at him quickly, saw where he was looking and grabbed his arm. “No Michael. He propositioned me and I turned him down. That’s it. It’s over, okay?” Maria looked at Max for help in calming her boyfriend down.
“Let it go, Michael,” Max said in a quiet authoritative voice. His look clearly said that they did not want to draw attention to themselves. Michael turned back to glare at Max for a moment, but suddenly seemed to realize that they had someone at their table who didn’t know about them. Glancing over at Jenna, he reluctantly sat down, but he didn’t look happy.
Jenna had been watching this byplay in wide eyed wonder and Kyle quickly moved to alleviate the tension. “Let’s dance.” He stood up and took her hand, helping her up. Throwing an exasperated glance back at the table, he pulled Jenna into his arms on the dance floor and they fell into a comfortable two-step.
“What was all that about?” Jenna asked as they danced.
“You mean Michael’s cave man routine?”
“I mean the whole thing. I understand Michael getting angry but what was up with the way Max spoke to him and the looks they were giving each other.”
Kyle shook his head. “Michael can be a little….hot headed sometimes. Max was just…keeping a lid on him. He’s used to it.” Swinging her around, Kyle smiled at her, and Jenna let it go, enjoying being in his arms.
Back at the table, Liz and Maria were talking, while Max and Michael remained quiet. Michael’s face was set in stone, and Max inwardly sighed. He knew a storm was brewing but he hoped it would stay contained until a later time when they could have it out in private. This was not the place to get into an argument.
Liz reached out to touch Max’s arm and he looked over at her. She was still talking with Maria, but she glanced over to smile at him, rubbing his arm soothingly. He smiled back. She knew what he was thinking and feeling without him having to say so and it was comforting to know that. Looking over at Michael, Max tensed when he saw him glaring across the room at the man who’d accosted Maria.
Liz felt the sudden tension, but before she could turn her head, she got a flash. It went by so quickly that she couldn’t exactly grasp what she saw, but the fear and agony on Max’s face in the flash was clear. He appeared to have been pinned to a wall or….something and people were surrounding him. Then it was gone. Liz shook her head slightly and looked over at Max quickly, but she saw that he wasn’t looking at her, he was frowning as he stared at Michael.
“Quit antagonizing him, Michael,” Max finally said. Michael turned back to glare at Max again, this time not worried about anyone hearing them.
“He’s chicken shit, Max. And don’t tell me what to do or how to feel. It wasn’t Liz he wanted to fu…”
“That’s enough,” Maria said, leaning over between them. “Max is right, Michael. There’s no reason to start anything. I really don’t want to have to explain to Patty why my boyfriend started a fight in her bar. Especially since technically, I’m not old enough to be in here singing and she only lets you guys in because you’re my friends.”
Michael leaned back in his chair, remaining silent but no longer aggressive. Max did the same, breathing a silent sigh of relief. He resisted the urge to rub his hands over his face, knowing it would be a dead giveaway for how tired he still was. He’d tried to sleep earlier but had woken up in a state after having had a horrendous nightmare. Adrenaline and caffeine were keeping him on his feet right now and having a fight with Michael might push him right over the edge.
“Max?”
He looked at Liz inquiringly. “Do you want to dance?”
Max nodded, getting up from the table. As tired as he was, he felt edgy and unsettled and he needed to get away from Michael’s hostility. He led Liz onto the dance floor, pulling her close. The song was slow and moody and they swayed together silently for a few moments.
Liz listened to Max’s heartbeat against her, feeling his unrest. She knew he had been struggling lately with their decision to move, but she felt confident that they could overcome his doubts. She’d been trying to back off a little to give him room to deal with things himself since that seemed to be part of his worry, but that flash earlier frightened her. She knew it must have been from a dream, which meant that he was having nightmares again. She was going to have to confront him soon if he didn’t improve.
Holding Liz’s petite form in his arms comforted Max like nothing else could. Just feeling her pressing against him, the scent of her hair, the caress of her hands in his, his whole body relaxed. He closed his eyes and let the rest of the world drift away.
When the song ended, they went back to their table and sat down, Kyle and Jenna following behind. Maria was due to start singing again in a few minutes and Mr. Valenti had joined them so chatter was light. Max was relieved to see that Michael seemed to have calmed down somewhat, and when it was time for Maria to go, she kissed Michael and joined the band on stage.
The first number, Jim sang lead and Maria sang backup. Then it was her turn again. A few moments into the song, the teenagers were surprised to hear someone booing and they turned to see the man that had been harassing Maria earlier smirking at them.
When he saw them looking, he cupped his hands around his mouth and yelled, “Get off the stage.”
Michael felt his hackles rise as he started to get up, but Max immediately restrained him. “Leave it, Michael. He’s just trying to get a rise out of you.”
Grinding his teeth, Michael sat back down, but only because he didn’t want to interrupt Maria’s performance. He cringed a moment later when he heard hissing, then his head jerked around when the guy yelled again, “You suck!”
Michael got up so quickly, his chair clattered to the ground. Max and Kyle jumped up to grab him by the arms as he started to go confront the heckler. Maria and Jim still sang in the background, but Maria was staring worriedly at her boyfriend. Just as Michael was doing his best to shake Max and Kyle off, Patty’s bouncers stepped in front of the man and unceremoniously escorted him to the door. He turned to throw a challenging glare at Michael before the door closed in his face.
“You can let go now,” Michael said to Max and Kyle, and straightened his shirt when they did. Picking up his chair, he set it right and sat down, running a hand through his long hair.
Max watched him for a few moments then relaxed a little, glancing at Liz with a grimace of resignation. The song finally ended and everyone clapped loudly. Another one started a moment later. Michael kept shifting restlessly in his chair until he couldn’t stand it anymore.
“I have to go….” He started to say, “take a piss”, but cut it off and gestured to the restroom instead. The others just looked at each other. They continued to watch the show, but Max was distracted by a nagging feeling. A few minutes later, glancing towards the restrooms, he didn’t see Michael and he started to get worried. Finally, he got up.
Kyle saw his face and immediately stood up too. Max leaned down and whispered to Liz, “We’re going to check on Michael. Don’t worry.” She looked up at him and nodded, but her eyes told him to be careful.
“Does he have enough sense not to blast them with alien death rays?” Kyle whispered to Max as they made their way towards the restroom.
“Hopefully,” Max said, trying to sound more confident then he felt. They got to the bathroom and looked inside. Max wasn’t surprised to see that Michael was nowhere to be found. Feeling a mixture of irritation and fear, he gestured to Kyle and they checked the poolroom before heading towards the exit. Stepping outside, at first they didn’t see anything. But then Max heard voices and he started to run, the sound of flesh hitting flesh getting louder as he circled the side of the building.
Shit! Michael was surrounded by several men who appeared to be throwing punches at him. He was actually holding them off pretty well, but as Max ran forward, he saw Michael double over as one of them punched him in the stomach. Without thinking, Max joined the fray, pulling the man who’d hit Michael back to throw a punch at his jaw. Kyle was right behind him.
Liz and Jenna were trying to stay calm and watch the show, but as the minutes ticked by they both kept glancing at the door and looking at each other worriedly. Finally, Liz had to get up. “I’m going to …..”
“Me too,” Jenna said and the two girls picked there way through the tables to the exit. As with Max and Kyle, at first they didn’t see anything, but then they heard the sound that caused them both to go running around the side of the building. They stopped in horror as they rounded the corner.
It was like a scene out of a movie. One man was laying on the ground apparently out cold. Michael was holding onto to another one’s collar as he hit him repeatedly in the face and Kyle was standing behind one of them holding the man in a stranglehold around his neck.
Liz gasped as she saw Max surrounded by two men. They were stalking him on either side and he was slightly crouched in the middle, waiting for them to jump him. As she got closer, Liz’s felt the blood drain from her face as she saw the feral look on her boyfriend’s face. She could feel the alien energy surging even from a distance and she wondered if the other men were just stupid or too drunk to realize what kind of danger they were in.
“Max!” Liz gasped, and Max saw her, distracted for a split second. That’s all it took. The two men surged forward, grasping his arms. One of them tried to hold onto him as the other sucker punched him in the gut, but Max was too strong for him and the other one had to grab hold too. They grappled with him, holding his arms as he struggled to get free.
Liz literally shook with fear as she felt and saw Max’s alien energy start to overload. His eyes were black with menace and his hands started to crackle with green energy. She saw Michael finally drop the guy he’d been fighting and she screamed at him.
“Michael! Help Max!” Michael, who’d been leaning over at the waist looked over at her then at Max and he immediately grasped the danger of the situation. Running forward, he yanked one of the guys off of Max and threw him to the ground.
Kyle, who was being fussed over by Jenna, ran over and made sure the guy stayed on the ground as Michael grabbed the other one, causing him to lose his grip on Max. Standing up to his full height, Max reached out with one hand and grasped the man’s throat, causing his eyes to bulge out of his head.
“Max….stop….” Liz cried as the man’s face started to turn purple.
“Max….” Michael yanked as hard as he could, finally pulling the choking man from Max’s death hold. Michael punched him in the face, knocking him unconscious then dropped him on the ground and looked at his friend.
Max stood with his eyes closed, breathing hard as he tried to get a grip on himself. His hands were clenching and unclenching with the effort and Michael could still see little sparks shooting from his fingertips.
“Max….what the hell was that?”
Opening his eyes, Max glared at Michael and Michael almost took an involuntary step back from the look in them. “I told you to leave it alone, but you couldn’t do it, could you?” Max ground out, his voice thick with the unfamiliar rage that still coursed through him.
Michael’s eyes narrowed dangerously. “Watch your fucking mouth, Maxwell. You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“I know exactly what I’m talking about,” Max answered him, practically spitting with unspent malice and Michael felt a pull on his own alien energy at the tone of that voice.
The two aliens eyed each other dangerously, but Liz stepped between them ignoring the hand that Kyle put out to stop her. Normally he wouldn’t have been afraid for her, but Kyle had never seen the two of them acting this way.
He wanted to get Jenna away from there, especially since he was already going to have some explaining to do, but he didn’t want to leave Liz there alone with the two boys looking like they were going to rip each other a new one.
“Max….stop. We need to get out of here. The police are probably on their way now.” Liz reached out to take his arm, feeling it tremble under her touch. She’d been frightened by the look in his eyes, but she wasn’t afraid for herself. She knew Max would never hurt her.
They all heard the sirens at the same time, but before any of them could react, several people came around the corner of the building. The two bouncers from the bar, Patty the owner , Jim Valenti and Maria, plus several patrons. Maria gasped as she saw Michael’s bloody face and ripped shirt. Max and Kyle looked as bad.
“Michael…oh my God…what happened?”
Before he could say anything, several police officers came around the corner taking in the scene with swift precision. Seeing Jim Valenti, former sheriff standing there surprised them.
“Someone want to tell us what happened?” one of the men in uniform asked as the other officers went to check on the unconscious men on the ground. Noting the appearance of Max, Michael and Kyle, he looked at Jim Valenti with a raised brow. “What happened Jim?”
“That man,” Jim pointed to the man who had heckled Maria, “was bothering this young lady while we were singing.” He indicated Maria. “Ned and Bubba here, escorted him out, but apparently, he never left.”
The men on the ground were now all on their feet being held by the policemen. The heckler pointed a shoulder at Michael. “He started it.”
Michael glared at the man, but didn’t speak. He could feel all of them looking at him, but he refused to defend himself. Maria still had his arm, and he could feel her trembling. Max was now standing stiffly next to Liz, his face expressionless.
“That ain’t true, Officer.” This came from one of the bouncers and everyone turned to stare at him. He pointed at Michael. “This kid went in the bathroom and when he came out, I saw that guy over there,” he pointed at one of the other beat up men being detained, “stop him by the door. He had him by the arm and pulled him outside.”
“Why didn’t you stop him, Ned?” the officer asked.
“Patty’s rules. As long as the fight’s outside, we don’t interfere. We just call you guys.”
The officer nodded and eyed Michael for a minute. “Is that true?” he asked him.
Michael hesitated a moment, then nodded stiffly. The officer looked at Max and Kyle. “And you two. Where do you fit in?”
“We um…came outside when Michael didn’t come back from the bathroom and we saw those guys whaling on him. We uh…..you know….” Kyle sputtered to a stop when he saw his father’s pointed gaze.
“Joined in the fun?” the officer supplied. He sighed as he looked at the whole group. Approaching the heckler, he sneered. “What did I tell you the last time this happened Benny? Your ass is going to jail. You and your buddies. I’m through letting you off the hook.”
“Come on….Officer Daniels. We were just having a little fun. It wasn’t nothin’.” Benny pleaded with the policeman but Officer Daniels just ignored him.
One of the other men was looking at Max like he’d seen a ghost. “He ain’t right. He…something’s wrong with him. I saw….I saw sparks…..”
“Shut up, Larry. You’re drunk. You don’t make sense when you’re not drunk but now you’re just plain stupid.” Officer Daniels shook his head with contempt.
He looked at Jim Valenti. “They’re free to go, Jim. But have a talk with your son and his friends about getting into situations like this.” He looked at Michael. “You watch out next time.”
The police officers rounded up the bedraggled men and hauled them off.
Patty looked at Maria and Jim. “I guess you two can have the rest of the night off, but you,” she looked at Michael. “You better not start anything ever again in my bar or you’re going to have to listen to your girlfriend sing in the shower from now on, got it? That goes for your two friends here too.” She winked at him, smiling. “Thanks for getting rid of Benny for me.” Patty gestured to her two bouncers and they left.
There was silence for a moment as everyone took stock. Jenna held Kyle’s arm as she eyed everyone warily, especially Max and Michael. Kyle glared at the two aliens before turning to his Dad. “Can we hold off on the lecture long enough for me to go home and clean up? I listen better when I’m not bleeding.”
Jim nodded. “Michael…Max….consider yourselves spoken too.” He followed Kyle and Jenna as they went to Kyle’s car.
The other bar patrons had dissipated as well, leaving Max and Liz, Michael and Maria alone. Liz looked up at Max and winced at the bruises and blood trickling from the corner of his mouth. He was looking at Michael, his face a mixture of misery and remorse.
“Michael……”
“Fuck off, Maxwell.” Michael pulled his arm from Maria’s grasp and stalked towards the front parking lot where the car was parked. Maria grimaced at Liz and hurried after him.
Max just stood staring after them before lifting his hand to cover his eyes. He frowned as his hand came away bloody.
“Max….let’s go to my house,” Liz said, and pulled on his arm to get him to walk. They headed slowly around the building to where the Chevelle was parked and Liz waited for Max to find the keys before taking them from his grasp. He didn’t argue, just got in the passenger seat and stared straight ahead.
Liz kept glancing at him as she drove towards her house. Reaction was setting in and she shakily rubbed her hands over her arms as they sat at a red light. She had no idea what she was going to say to Max when they got to her house, but they obviously needed to talk.
TBC.......
Everything to You Part 61
Maria glanced around as she carefully made her way down the steps of the UFO center. Her heels were a little high to be going down those steps with any speed. The place was moderately busy, but not too. It was a pretty nice day out for the middle of July so people were outside. She looked around for a few moments but didn’t see Max so she finally tracked down Brody.
“Hi Maria. He’s in the back shelving books,” Brody said, his eyes alight with appreciation for her sun kissed skin and curling hair.
Maria smiled back at him. “Thanks,” she said, her smile still in place as she made her way to the library area. Even though she had no lingering feelings for the man, she couldn’t help the feeling of feminine satisfaction at being looked at with male appreciation.
She could here noise as she approached the bookshelves. She finally spotted Max standing in between the shelves, his hand braced against one as a huge yawn cracked his jaws. He reached up to rub his eyes with the heels of his hands before picking up the next book.
“Max,” Maria said approaching.
“Maria,” he said surprised. “Is Liz here?” he asked looking behind her.
“Sorry, Romeo. Juliet had to stay at the restaurant. She got a big table right after she put in your order. She asked me to bring this to you.” Maria handed him the bag with his sandwich and fries, putting his drink on a nearby table.
“Thanks,” Max said. Maria noticed that tension she hadn’t even realized was there seemed to dissipate from his shoulders at her response.
That wasn’t his usual reaction to seeing her instead of Liz. Looking at him overtly, she was concerned to see the shadows under his eyes. She’d noticed them last night when they were all at his mother’s house for dinner as well. Last night had been a little surreal, actually. They were eating dinner and Liz had been chattering away in excitement about school and having received her roommate assignment in the mail and Maria had looked at Max who just sat there listening. Although he seemed interested and relaxed, she could tell that it was just a façade and his plate had remained mostly untouched.
What was so weird about it was that Liz didn’t seem to notice Max’s lack of enthusiasm. For someone who was usually so in tune with his feelings, she was strangely oblivious. Girlfriend was in major denial, and Maria was determined to find out what was going on.
Max hid another yawn behind his hand as he shelved another book before sitting down at the table to eat his lunch. Maria hesitated for a minute before sitting down with him.
“So……what’s up? Are you coming to the club tonight with Liz?” Maria asked as she watched him toy with his food.
Yeah, I’ll be there. Um….nothings up. Just working and…..I don’t know….nothing.”
“Liz seemed pretty excited about college last night.” Maria said casually, but she immediately noticed the way his lips tightened with tension even though Max’s expression didn’t change.
“Yeah.”
“You made her really happy by agreeing to go with her,” Maria observed, noting that he seemed to give up eating all together and reach for his drink.
“I know.” Max said, avoiding her gaze. He rubbed a tired finger over his forehead. Maria watched him for another moment, then gave up the subtle approach. It wasn’t her style anyway.
“Okay, Max. What the hell’s up? You look like you haven’t slept in a week and you’ve barely touched that sandwich.”
Max glanced at her fleetingly before shrugging. “Nothing’s up. I just didn’t sleep well last night and shelving these books isn’t exactly challenging work. The sandwich had too much mayonnaise and not enough Tobasco.”
“You’re a terrible liar. Come on. This is me you’re talking to. Fess up. What’s really going on?”
“Nothing’s going on Maria. Just….let it go,” Max finished a little testily, getting up to throw his uneaten lunch away. “Don’t you have to get back…..or something?”
Watching him pick up another book to shelve, Maria sat quietly for second. “I should be insulted by your obvious attempt to get rid of me, but Michael’s burned all the thin skin right off me with his lack of manners.”
Max actually smiled a little at her comment. “You’ll straighten him out eventually, I’m sure,” he said.
“No doubt. He’s a hundred percent better than he was when we first met. But…..I don’t want him to change too much. As hard to as it is to believe, I actually love him the way he is.”
“He’s very lucky to have you….and I think he knows it.”
“You bet he does because I remind it of it everyday,” Maria said, smiling. There was a moment of companionable silence before she said, “He’s been a little…..more Michaelish lately though. I think it’s because he’s upset about you leaving. He would say that out loud of course, but …..”
“I know he is,” Max said, frowning. He shook his head. “I…..don’t know what to do about that. Everything’s changing so fast…..we’re all going to have to learn to adjust.” This last part was said somewhat grimly with resignation.
Maria stared at him for a moment. “Max, did Liz mention to you about staying here instead of you going there?”
Shoulders stiffening, Max paused in his shelving for a moment before continuing. “Yes.”
Getting up, Maria approached him, taking his arm to turn him around and face her. Studying his closed expression, she shook her head. “Max…sweetie you’re a mess. You only told Liz you would go with her because she said that she would stay here if you didn’t right?”
Shaking his head, Max backed away from her perceptive gaze. “No. I want to go. You don’t think that I would rather be with Liz than anything else in the world?”
“I know you would,” Maria answered. “But I also know that you were planning to stay here until the two of you went off on your picnic a couple of weeks ago. I know that Liz was going to try and convince you to go with her, and that she was considering staying here if you didn’t.” Maria closed in again to take his chin and look him straight in the eye. “I also know that you would rather die than make Liz unhappy, and that you look like hell.” Letting go, she sat back down at the table.
“Tell me why you were originally going to stay.”
Max stared at her for a brief moment before hesitantly giving her an abbreviated version of the reasons he’d given Liz.
Listening to Max speak, Maria could hear the anxiety in his voice even though he did a good job of not showing it on his face, but then he’d always been good at hiding his true feelings.
“Come sit down, Max.” Maria said when he’d finished. He sighed and sat next to her, folding his arms in front of him on the table. Maria reached out and touched his arm, holding it in an affectionate clasp. She searched his eyes, seeing the strain there and shook her head. “You can’t do this. For some reason, Liz can’t see what this decision is doing to you, but I can. I don’t know if she’s just so afraid to be apart from you or….or I don’t know but….you’ve got to tell her. You’re having nightmares again aren’t you?”
Dropping his gaze, Max nodded his head. “Some,” he admitted reluctantly. “I don’t sleep enough to have them very often.” He shook his head. “I can’t tell her, Maria. She’s so happy. In all the time we’ve been together, hardly anything in our relationship has made her happy. I can’t ruin that.”
“Do you honestly think that if she realized what you were going through that she would be happy? What do you think is going to happen when you get to Northwestern?” Maria looked at him in sympathetic apology. “Forgive me for saying this, but if you keep going on this way and you get out there and can’t handle it, do you think that’s going to make her happy? My God, Max.” She gestured towards the way she’d come in. “You almost looked relieved when you didn’t see Liz with me today. Relieved Max.”
Staring into the concerned gaze, Max let the denial trembling on his lips die as his head sank down to rest on his arms. She was right in a way. It wasn’t so much that it was relief that Liz hadn’t come, it was just so hard to keep up the pretense that everything was okay when she was around and he was so tired he could barely think straight right now. It was a relief just to sit here and unburden himself with a friend. But that didn’t mean he was going to change his mind.
“I’m going to talk to her Max,” Maria said.
“No!” Max jerked his head up and grabbed her arm. “You can’t do that Maria. This is between me and Liz. Besides….I’m fine. It’s just normal jitters about moving into an unknown situation. I’ll get over it. Once we’re there and everything settles down into a routine….I’ll be fine. Liz will be there with me and that is all I care about.”
“Max, you’re not fine. You’re a fucking basket case, excuse my French. I’m not saying you shouldn’t go, I’m just saying you should talk to Liz ….or someone about how you really feel.”
Max got up from the table and turned away from her sympathetic gaze. He wished she would stop doing this because it wasn’t helping. It was beyond pathetic that he was even feeling this anxiety and talking about it with Liz was only going to embarrass him and guilt trip her.
“Please….” Max closed his eyes at how hoarse his voice came out and he swallowed to ease his throat. “Leave it alone Maria. I promise….everything will be okay. I won’t do anything to hurt Liz. I can handle this.”
Sighing in exasperation, Maria stood up. “I’m not worried about you hurting Liz, you idiot. I’m worried about you.”
Max turned around and it broke her heart to see the expression on his face, as though he were truly surprised that someone other than Liz or his family could care about him. Shaking her head, she stepped closer. “I care about you Max. Not just because you’re Liz’s boyfriend or because you’re Michael’s brother. I care about you, and you’re right, I am worried about how this is going to affect Liz…. but I’m also worried about how it’s affecting you. And how it’s affecting Michael too. He put on a brave front for you guys when Isabel left, but it was really hard on him. He was really relieved when he thought you were staying but now…...you’re his family, Max. He needs you. He may not like admitting that but….”
“I need him too,” Max said, his heart heavy as he thought about Michael.
She was right. It was hard for the both of them to admit that they needed each other, and he was aware that Michael had digressed somewhat into his previous surlier self since finding out that he was leaving with Liz. It only added to Max’s stress to think about hurting his friend but….Liz’s feelings came first. He hated having to choose but how was this different then it had been for the last three years, Max thought with a touch of bitterness. He’d been caught in the middle between Liz and Michael and Isabel since the day he’d healed her. He hadn’t always made the right choice in the past, but he wouldn’t make that mistake again. Liz came first. End of story.
“I’ll talk to him, okay?” Max said tiredly, rubbing his forehead again and Maria felt bad that she’d added to his already overflowing sense of guilt.
“I’m sorry, Max.” she said.
He shook his head and smiled although it didn’t reach his eyes. “Don’t be. I’m glad that you care enough to say something but really….it’s going to be okay. And please…..don’t say anything to Liz. You know that she deserves this. I can’t let her give up going because of me. I just can’t.”
Looking at him for a moment in indecision, Maria finally shook her head. “All right, but only for right now. If I don’t see some improvement I can’t promise anything. I care too much about the two of you to let you do something that may end up hurting you both in the long run.”
“Fair enough,” Max answered, relief evident in his voice.
“I’ll see you later. What time do you get off from here?” Maria asked, moving towards the exit.
“3:00.”
“Then go home and get some sleep. I expect to see you dancing tonight. It looks bad when members of the audience are falling asleep.”
A genuine smile graced Max’s lips. “Yes ma’am.” He watched her leave, then turned back to the book shelf, sighing as he picked up another book.
Sleep. He longed for it. Needed it. But the minute he closed his eyes at night, demons in his subconscious came out to play. They tormented him with his failings and anxieties until he woke up practically screaming, heart pounding as though he’d run a marathon and covered in sweat.
But Maria was right. He needed to get a grip. This was getting ridiculous. He was practically nineteen years old and he was acting like a baby. Teenagers moved away from home for college everyday and survived just fine. And truth be told, he hadn’t felt like a teenager for a very long time now.
Looking around to make sure he was alone, Max put a healing hand up to his eyes, easing the grittiness and ache from lack of sleep. Maybe he would try to take nap when he got home. He needed to get some rest so he could be himself when he was with Liz. Despite what Maria said, he knew that Liz wasn’t deliberately closing her eyes to his problems. In her mind, his problems were something for them to work on together, and doing it here or doing it in Illinois was all the same to her. Max really wished he felt that way too.
Yeah, a nap would be good, he thought a moment later as he yawned again.
***************************
“Wow, she’s really good,” Jenna Nolan addressed Kyle, Max, Liz, and Michael, staring up at the stage where Maria was singing. “I mean, I knew she was pretty good when I came to the Kareoke night at the CrashDown, but this is different.”
“It’s what she’s always wanted to do,” Liz said.
They were all sitting at a table close to the stage. Kyle had brought Jenna for the first time and they’d been getting to know her a little better. She was about Kyle’s height, with long, light brown hair and blue eyes. She had the pretty angular features of a southwestern girl and she fit Kyle to a tee. They were comfortable with each other and Liz was extremely happy that he’d found someone who made him feel loved and important. His self esteem had taken such a beating in the last three years, Liz had always felt guilty that he seemed to come out with the short end of the stick. Now though, Kyle seemed confident and relaxed, more like his old self again.
The song ended and they all clapped loudly while Maria thanked the audience and told them she was taking a break. As she came off the stage, a man intercepted her and she stopped to talk. Seeing Michael’s frown a moment later, Liz looked over and saw that the man had taken hold of her arm and Maria looked like she was getting angry. Michael stood up from his chair to make his way over there when Maria finally shook the man off and approached their table.
“Some people don’t know when to take “No” for an answer,” she said, reaching for the drink that Michael had gotten for her.
“What did he say?” Michael asked, staring after the guy who was up at the bar now.
“Nothing important. He just didn’t quite get that singing on stage for an audience does not equal whore. I set him straight.”
“He called you a whore?” Michael said in a somewhat deadly voice that did not bode well for the man now staring at them from across the room.
Maria looked at him quickly, saw where he was looking and grabbed his arm. “No Michael. He propositioned me and I turned him down. That’s it. It’s over, okay?” Maria looked at Max for help in calming her boyfriend down.
“Let it go, Michael,” Max said in a quiet authoritative voice. His look clearly said that they did not want to draw attention to themselves. Michael turned back to glare at Max for a moment, but suddenly seemed to realize that they had someone at their table who didn’t know about them. Glancing over at Jenna, he reluctantly sat down, but he didn’t look happy.
Jenna had been watching this byplay in wide eyed wonder and Kyle quickly moved to alleviate the tension. “Let’s dance.” He stood up and took her hand, helping her up. Throwing an exasperated glance back at the table, he pulled Jenna into his arms on the dance floor and they fell into a comfortable two-step.
“What was all that about?” Jenna asked as they danced.
“You mean Michael’s cave man routine?”
“I mean the whole thing. I understand Michael getting angry but what was up with the way Max spoke to him and the looks they were giving each other.”
Kyle shook his head. “Michael can be a little….hot headed sometimes. Max was just…keeping a lid on him. He’s used to it.” Swinging her around, Kyle smiled at her, and Jenna let it go, enjoying being in his arms.
Back at the table, Liz and Maria were talking, while Max and Michael remained quiet. Michael’s face was set in stone, and Max inwardly sighed. He knew a storm was brewing but he hoped it would stay contained until a later time when they could have it out in private. This was not the place to get into an argument.
Liz reached out to touch Max’s arm and he looked over at her. She was still talking with Maria, but she glanced over to smile at him, rubbing his arm soothingly. He smiled back. She knew what he was thinking and feeling without him having to say so and it was comforting to know that. Looking over at Michael, Max tensed when he saw him glaring across the room at the man who’d accosted Maria.
Liz felt the sudden tension, but before she could turn her head, she got a flash. It went by so quickly that she couldn’t exactly grasp what she saw, but the fear and agony on Max’s face in the flash was clear. He appeared to have been pinned to a wall or….something and people were surrounding him. Then it was gone. Liz shook her head slightly and looked over at Max quickly, but she saw that he wasn’t looking at her, he was frowning as he stared at Michael.
“Quit antagonizing him, Michael,” Max finally said. Michael turned back to glare at Max again, this time not worried about anyone hearing them.
“He’s chicken shit, Max. And don’t tell me what to do or how to feel. It wasn’t Liz he wanted to fu…”
“That’s enough,” Maria said, leaning over between them. “Max is right, Michael. There’s no reason to start anything. I really don’t want to have to explain to Patty why my boyfriend started a fight in her bar. Especially since technically, I’m not old enough to be in here singing and she only lets you guys in because you’re my friends.”
Michael leaned back in his chair, remaining silent but no longer aggressive. Max did the same, breathing a silent sigh of relief. He resisted the urge to rub his hands over his face, knowing it would be a dead giveaway for how tired he still was. He’d tried to sleep earlier but had woken up in a state after having had a horrendous nightmare. Adrenaline and caffeine were keeping him on his feet right now and having a fight with Michael might push him right over the edge.
“Max?”
He looked at Liz inquiringly. “Do you want to dance?”
Max nodded, getting up from the table. As tired as he was, he felt edgy and unsettled and he needed to get away from Michael’s hostility. He led Liz onto the dance floor, pulling her close. The song was slow and moody and they swayed together silently for a few moments.
Liz listened to Max’s heartbeat against her, feeling his unrest. She knew he had been struggling lately with their decision to move, but she felt confident that they could overcome his doubts. She’d been trying to back off a little to give him room to deal with things himself since that seemed to be part of his worry, but that flash earlier frightened her. She knew it must have been from a dream, which meant that he was having nightmares again. She was going to have to confront him soon if he didn’t improve.
Holding Liz’s petite form in his arms comforted Max like nothing else could. Just feeling her pressing against him, the scent of her hair, the caress of her hands in his, his whole body relaxed. He closed his eyes and let the rest of the world drift away.
When the song ended, they went back to their table and sat down, Kyle and Jenna following behind. Maria was due to start singing again in a few minutes and Mr. Valenti had joined them so chatter was light. Max was relieved to see that Michael seemed to have calmed down somewhat, and when it was time for Maria to go, she kissed Michael and joined the band on stage.
The first number, Jim sang lead and Maria sang backup. Then it was her turn again. A few moments into the song, the teenagers were surprised to hear someone booing and they turned to see the man that had been harassing Maria earlier smirking at them.
When he saw them looking, he cupped his hands around his mouth and yelled, “Get off the stage.”
Michael felt his hackles rise as he started to get up, but Max immediately restrained him. “Leave it, Michael. He’s just trying to get a rise out of you.”
Grinding his teeth, Michael sat back down, but only because he didn’t want to interrupt Maria’s performance. He cringed a moment later when he heard hissing, then his head jerked around when the guy yelled again, “You suck!”
Michael got up so quickly, his chair clattered to the ground. Max and Kyle jumped up to grab him by the arms as he started to go confront the heckler. Maria and Jim still sang in the background, but Maria was staring worriedly at her boyfriend. Just as Michael was doing his best to shake Max and Kyle off, Patty’s bouncers stepped in front of the man and unceremoniously escorted him to the door. He turned to throw a challenging glare at Michael before the door closed in his face.
“You can let go now,” Michael said to Max and Kyle, and straightened his shirt when they did. Picking up his chair, he set it right and sat down, running a hand through his long hair.
Max watched him for a few moments then relaxed a little, glancing at Liz with a grimace of resignation. The song finally ended and everyone clapped loudly. Another one started a moment later. Michael kept shifting restlessly in his chair until he couldn’t stand it anymore.
“I have to go….” He started to say, “take a piss”, but cut it off and gestured to the restroom instead. The others just looked at each other. They continued to watch the show, but Max was distracted by a nagging feeling. A few minutes later, glancing towards the restrooms, he didn’t see Michael and he started to get worried. Finally, he got up.
Kyle saw his face and immediately stood up too. Max leaned down and whispered to Liz, “We’re going to check on Michael. Don’t worry.” She looked up at him and nodded, but her eyes told him to be careful.
“Does he have enough sense not to blast them with alien death rays?” Kyle whispered to Max as they made their way towards the restroom.
“Hopefully,” Max said, trying to sound more confident then he felt. They got to the bathroom and looked inside. Max wasn’t surprised to see that Michael was nowhere to be found. Feeling a mixture of irritation and fear, he gestured to Kyle and they checked the poolroom before heading towards the exit. Stepping outside, at first they didn’t see anything. But then Max heard voices and he started to run, the sound of flesh hitting flesh getting louder as he circled the side of the building.
Shit! Michael was surrounded by several men who appeared to be throwing punches at him. He was actually holding them off pretty well, but as Max ran forward, he saw Michael double over as one of them punched him in the stomach. Without thinking, Max joined the fray, pulling the man who’d hit Michael back to throw a punch at his jaw. Kyle was right behind him.
Liz and Jenna were trying to stay calm and watch the show, but as the minutes ticked by they both kept glancing at the door and looking at each other worriedly. Finally, Liz had to get up. “I’m going to …..”
“Me too,” Jenna said and the two girls picked there way through the tables to the exit. As with Max and Kyle, at first they didn’t see anything, but then they heard the sound that caused them both to go running around the side of the building. They stopped in horror as they rounded the corner.
It was like a scene out of a movie. One man was laying on the ground apparently out cold. Michael was holding onto to another one’s collar as he hit him repeatedly in the face and Kyle was standing behind one of them holding the man in a stranglehold around his neck.
Liz gasped as she saw Max surrounded by two men. They were stalking him on either side and he was slightly crouched in the middle, waiting for them to jump him. As she got closer, Liz’s felt the blood drain from her face as she saw the feral look on her boyfriend’s face. She could feel the alien energy surging even from a distance and she wondered if the other men were just stupid or too drunk to realize what kind of danger they were in.
“Max!” Liz gasped, and Max saw her, distracted for a split second. That’s all it took. The two men surged forward, grasping his arms. One of them tried to hold onto him as the other sucker punched him in the gut, but Max was too strong for him and the other one had to grab hold too. They grappled with him, holding his arms as he struggled to get free.
Liz literally shook with fear as she felt and saw Max’s alien energy start to overload. His eyes were black with menace and his hands started to crackle with green energy. She saw Michael finally drop the guy he’d been fighting and she screamed at him.
“Michael! Help Max!” Michael, who’d been leaning over at the waist looked over at her then at Max and he immediately grasped the danger of the situation. Running forward, he yanked one of the guys off of Max and threw him to the ground.
Kyle, who was being fussed over by Jenna, ran over and made sure the guy stayed on the ground as Michael grabbed the other one, causing him to lose his grip on Max. Standing up to his full height, Max reached out with one hand and grasped the man’s throat, causing his eyes to bulge out of his head.
“Max….stop….” Liz cried as the man’s face started to turn purple.
“Max….” Michael yanked as hard as he could, finally pulling the choking man from Max’s death hold. Michael punched him in the face, knocking him unconscious then dropped him on the ground and looked at his friend.
Max stood with his eyes closed, breathing hard as he tried to get a grip on himself. His hands were clenching and unclenching with the effort and Michael could still see little sparks shooting from his fingertips.
“Max….what the hell was that?”
Opening his eyes, Max glared at Michael and Michael almost took an involuntary step back from the look in them. “I told you to leave it alone, but you couldn’t do it, could you?” Max ground out, his voice thick with the unfamiliar rage that still coursed through him.
Michael’s eyes narrowed dangerously. “Watch your fucking mouth, Maxwell. You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“I know exactly what I’m talking about,” Max answered him, practically spitting with unspent malice and Michael felt a pull on his own alien energy at the tone of that voice.
The two aliens eyed each other dangerously, but Liz stepped between them ignoring the hand that Kyle put out to stop her. Normally he wouldn’t have been afraid for her, but Kyle had never seen the two of them acting this way.
He wanted to get Jenna away from there, especially since he was already going to have some explaining to do, but he didn’t want to leave Liz there alone with the two boys looking like they were going to rip each other a new one.
“Max….stop. We need to get out of here. The police are probably on their way now.” Liz reached out to take his arm, feeling it tremble under her touch. She’d been frightened by the look in his eyes, but she wasn’t afraid for herself. She knew Max would never hurt her.
They all heard the sirens at the same time, but before any of them could react, several people came around the corner of the building. The two bouncers from the bar, Patty the owner , Jim Valenti and Maria, plus several patrons. Maria gasped as she saw Michael’s bloody face and ripped shirt. Max and Kyle looked as bad.
“Michael…oh my God…what happened?”
Before he could say anything, several police officers came around the corner taking in the scene with swift precision. Seeing Jim Valenti, former sheriff standing there surprised them.
“Someone want to tell us what happened?” one of the men in uniform asked as the other officers went to check on the unconscious men on the ground. Noting the appearance of Max, Michael and Kyle, he looked at Jim Valenti with a raised brow. “What happened Jim?”
“That man,” Jim pointed to the man who had heckled Maria, “was bothering this young lady while we were singing.” He indicated Maria. “Ned and Bubba here, escorted him out, but apparently, he never left.”
The men on the ground were now all on their feet being held by the policemen. The heckler pointed a shoulder at Michael. “He started it.”
Michael glared at the man, but didn’t speak. He could feel all of them looking at him, but he refused to defend himself. Maria still had his arm, and he could feel her trembling. Max was now standing stiffly next to Liz, his face expressionless.
“That ain’t true, Officer.” This came from one of the bouncers and everyone turned to stare at him. He pointed at Michael. “This kid went in the bathroom and when he came out, I saw that guy over there,” he pointed at one of the other beat up men being detained, “stop him by the door. He had him by the arm and pulled him outside.”
“Why didn’t you stop him, Ned?” the officer asked.
“Patty’s rules. As long as the fight’s outside, we don’t interfere. We just call you guys.”
The officer nodded and eyed Michael for a minute. “Is that true?” he asked him.
Michael hesitated a moment, then nodded stiffly. The officer looked at Max and Kyle. “And you two. Where do you fit in?”
“We um…came outside when Michael didn’t come back from the bathroom and we saw those guys whaling on him. We uh…..you know….” Kyle sputtered to a stop when he saw his father’s pointed gaze.
“Joined in the fun?” the officer supplied. He sighed as he looked at the whole group. Approaching the heckler, he sneered. “What did I tell you the last time this happened Benny? Your ass is going to jail. You and your buddies. I’m through letting you off the hook.”
“Come on….Officer Daniels. We were just having a little fun. It wasn’t nothin’.” Benny pleaded with the policeman but Officer Daniels just ignored him.
One of the other men was looking at Max like he’d seen a ghost. “He ain’t right. He…something’s wrong with him. I saw….I saw sparks…..”
“Shut up, Larry. You’re drunk. You don’t make sense when you’re not drunk but now you’re just plain stupid.” Officer Daniels shook his head with contempt.
He looked at Jim Valenti. “They’re free to go, Jim. But have a talk with your son and his friends about getting into situations like this.” He looked at Michael. “You watch out next time.”
The police officers rounded up the bedraggled men and hauled them off.
Patty looked at Maria and Jim. “I guess you two can have the rest of the night off, but you,” she looked at Michael. “You better not start anything ever again in my bar or you’re going to have to listen to your girlfriend sing in the shower from now on, got it? That goes for your two friends here too.” She winked at him, smiling. “Thanks for getting rid of Benny for me.” Patty gestured to her two bouncers and they left.
There was silence for a moment as everyone took stock. Jenna held Kyle’s arm as she eyed everyone warily, especially Max and Michael. Kyle glared at the two aliens before turning to his Dad. “Can we hold off on the lecture long enough for me to go home and clean up? I listen better when I’m not bleeding.”
Jim nodded. “Michael…Max….consider yourselves spoken too.” He followed Kyle and Jenna as they went to Kyle’s car.
The other bar patrons had dissipated as well, leaving Max and Liz, Michael and Maria alone. Liz looked up at Max and winced at the bruises and blood trickling from the corner of his mouth. He was looking at Michael, his face a mixture of misery and remorse.
“Michael……”
“Fuck off, Maxwell.” Michael pulled his arm from Maria’s grasp and stalked towards the front parking lot where the car was parked. Maria grimaced at Liz and hurried after him.
Max just stood staring after them before lifting his hand to cover his eyes. He frowned as his hand came away bloody.
“Max….let’s go to my house,” Liz said, and pulled on his arm to get him to walk. They headed slowly around the building to where the Chevelle was parked and Liz waited for Max to find the keys before taking them from his grasp. He didn’t argue, just got in the passenger seat and stared straight ahead.
Liz kept glancing at him as she drove towards her house. Reaction was setting in and she shakily rubbed her hands over her arms as they sat at a red light. She had no idea what she was going to say to Max when they got to her house, but they obviously needed to talk.
TBC.......
Lisa: Do we have any food that wasn't brutally slaughtered?
Homer: Well, I think the veal died of loneliness.
Homer: Well, I think the veal died of loneliness.