For the Roses (CC, M/L, Mature) A/N - 24/05/05 [WIP]

[Tesseract]

Hey everyone - thank you for all the lovely feedback. This chapter's a little short and transitional - but I thought we could all do with some lightness and air. Let me know how on or off the mark I was.


Chapter 28



Beauty is its own excuse for being.
Emerson



Looking into his face, standing near him I realized how rapidly the space between us had contracted, how tiny a movement it would require to just lift my head and press my mouth to his, to revel in his warmth.

Max’s eyes flickered down to my lips then back again. The air heated and I felt my muscles clench with pleasurable tension. A smile flickered in his eyes.

“It’s early yet,” he told me gently.

But he wasn’t warning me off or refusing me, I thought in amazement, as the shy half-smile crinkled his golden eyes and spread to the curve of his mouth. No, he was promising me time to get to know each other in the light of day. As much time as we needed to meet each other half way.

The restraint only made him sexier. Desire spiraled crazily inside me, and it felt wonderful.

Reading me accurately, he took a step back.

“Confessions of this magnitude make me hungry, how about you?”

I looked at him. He was right. The rational and logical part of me knew that he was right, but it was being drowned out by my pounding heart beat.

“Liz?” He waved a hand in front of my face.

I flushed. “Huh, yeah. Sounds good.”

He smirked and I couldn’t help adding coyly, “All of a sudden I feel very…hungry. Ravenous.”

The smile faded and I repressed a chuckle. “So, shall we go?”

“Yeah, after you,” he gestured.

********************

We ate an early dinner at a quiet Italian restaurant and talked about every day that we’d been apart.

I talked about my work and studies and my cottage, which felt like home. He told me about his research and the interesting places that he’d been.

“So, what made you choose molecular biology?” Max speared a piece of asparagus drenched in garlic.

“I love biology. Human anatomy has always fascinated me. It’s just amazing to think that we are a collection of tissue, fat, muscles and nerves, and yet by some miracle of nature and science it works.”

“It’s the mystery then?”

I chewed a piece of Chicken Florentine and thought about it. “I’ve never really thought about it like that but I think that’s a part of it. What about you?”

“Me?” He laughed. “My interest in anatomy extends to the average green blooded male’s interest in the female body!”

“Ugh!” I grimaced throwing a corner of my bread roll at him. “That’s just so typical.”

“Hey, I may be an alien but when it comes to the human body I’m just like every other guy.”

I smiled at him over my glass, enjoying the sight of his flirtatious animated face. The man had no bad side, it was monumentally unfair.

“There is nothing average about you, Mr. Evans,” I added. “Wait, did you say green blooded?”

Without waiting for a response I rattled on, “Are you really? What about your blood type and cell structure and things like that? Metabolism? Do you ever get colds, fever, things like that? What about your body temperature? How do you…” I stopped abruptly, flushing with embarrassment.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. Of all the insensitive things to say. God! I make you sound like a lab specimen.”

I stared down at my plate, as my delicious meal turned into ashes in my mouth, mortified by my stupidity.

He’d told me a gruesome tale today, in which I could have lost him and Maria and Alex any number of times and instead of being grateful that he was alive, I was dissecting him. Thoughts of dissection churned my stomach – oh God! What if someone had heard me?

“Liz,”

I trembled in my chair. He was so vulnerable, so exposed. What if someone found out about him? What if he hurt himself and someone saw how different he was? What if I said something out loud one day, then they’d come and take him away. It didn’t bear thinking about.

My fist clenched the green lace tablecloth.

Max grasped my hand, enfolding it in his much larger and warmer one.

Tears stung my eyes, and I looked up to say something when he stopped me.

“Shh,” he stroked the back of my hand. “You worry too much, Elizabeth.”

I gaped at him. “What?”

“I bet you’re sitting here coming up with all sorts of macabre scenarios about the million things that could happen to me. You’re beating yourself up about your interest in me, about how someone could have overheard us and stuff like that.”

“Are you sure you can’t read my mind?” I asked suspiciously.

Max laughed a low husky sound that shivered down my spine. “Positive. I think it’s wonderful that you want to know all this stuff about me. It isn’t creepy or insensitive or anything like that. It shows that you love your work. And I,” he stopped to press a kiss on the back of my hand, “love that about you.”

“Oh,” I said blankly. My gaze fixed on my fingers that were far too close to his mouth.

I tugged my hand back, he held firm.

“And, now I’ve flustered you.”

“I, no,” I stammered, damn him! “No, you haven’t.”

“Are you sure?” he drawled. “Then why is your pulse,” Max brushed his soft lips against my wrist, “hammering like a tiny bird’s heart.”

Caught up in the moment, I leaned towards him.

“You know, there is something incredibly arousing,” I shivered as his breath fanned my warm skin, “about a strong woman giving herself over to,”

“To,” I repeated.

His tongue swiped across my wrist, “desert.”

“Desert?” I parroted back.

There it was again, that sexy half-smile that made me feel completely out of control.

For a moment I looked at him speculatively from under lowered lashes. Was this his idea of taking it easy? By making me want to leap across the table and rip his clothes off! Oh man! If this was his idea of slow, then perhaps Mr. Evans and I needed to have an up close and personal chat on what taking it up a notch meant.

I licked my lower lip slowly, amused when his eyes focused on my mouth.

“I have a lot of intense feelings about desert.”

“You do?”

“Oh yes,” I murmured. “There are different kinds of desert for different moods. For instance, when I’m feeling hot,” his eyes darkened, “I want ice cream. You know the kind that comes in a cone? You lick it slowly and let the coolness slide down your throat a little bit at a time. But you know what the best part is?”

“No, what?”

“The best part is when it melts and runs down your hands, making them sticky. Then when you lick your hand, it tastes musky and sweet. But sometimes, when it’s a nice evening, and you want something a little more filling – I like to have cheesecake.”

His hot eyes, raked scorched my lips before focusing on my eyes again. When he spoke, his voice was deeper, and lower than before. “I have very very good feelings about cheesecake.”

Sliding a hand in my hair, I leaned forward. “Really? Do you like the way it melts in your mouth. Just a tiny spoonful and you’re senses go on red alert.”

Lacing his fingers with mine, Max said silkily, “I’m a fan of the creamy texture.”

Liquid heat pooled in my abdomen and underneath the table I crossed my legs.

“Are you?”

“Mmm. It’s tart and sweet and coats your tongue. The first time you eat it the taste escapes you but if you nibble some more, try to hold it on your tongue it comes back to you. You have to keep eating until you’re sated.”

“And do you,” I asked, stroking his palm with my index finger, “eat it often?”

His eyes gleamed like a predator’s. “No, not yet but I think I could become addicted. Can you recommend a flavor I might enjoy?”

I beckoned him forward. My mouth a scant inch away from his ear, “How do you feel about strawberries and cream?”

Breath hissed out of his lungs and he turned his head to until we were eye to eye, mouth to mouth. “I think that will be perfect.”

Our breaths mingled and a strand of my hair clung to his jaw. Frozen, we drowned in each other. Just a little closer, I thought to myself. Just a little more.

“I think it would be perfect too, but it’s out of season for strawberries,” the new voice yanked us apart.

Embarrassed and extremely aroused I unsuccessfully tried to ignore the faint moistness between my legs, and stared at my plate. If I had looked up, I would have seen Max turn red and pale in quick succession.

Speaking past the weight in his chest he stuttered, “umm, sorry. Did you want something?”

Too well-trained to laugh at our predicament, the waiter simply said, “Desert for you and the lady?”

It was too much. Max and I burst out laughing.

Smiling the waiter said slyly, “somehow I don’t you’ll like our desert. Just the check then?”

Grinning, Max replied, “Yes, please.”

“Oh God!” I gasped. “You should have seen your face. It was just hilarious.”

Rubbing a hand on his neck, he quipped, “Well, I felt as if someone caught me with my pants down.”

Trying to stop laughing and blushing I said, “I don’t think we should flirt in public anymore.”

“Hey now, don’t jump to any conclusions.”

“No?” I raised an eyebrow. “When flirting results in the waiter encouraging us to leave, I don’t think there is any other conclusion.”

“Oh, I think there is.”

“What?”

Quickly signing the bill, Max helped me out of my chair and said, “Slow and easy is harder said than done.”

Aha! Mission accomplished, I though gleefully. He was obviously re-thinking the whole slow and steady issue.

“But you don’t seem too surprised by the conclusion,” he continued, pulling out of the parking lot.

“No, not particularly,” I replied twisting in my seat to look at him.

“But you know why I thought it might be a good idea? Where do you want to go?”

“Home,” I sighed. “And if you hadn’t recommended it earlier, I would have.”

“You know what I think?”

“What?” he asked turning towards the house.

“I think we should take it one day at a time. Make no plans. Let things happen.”

“Be spontaneous. Let the chips fall where they may.”

“Exactly,” I beamed.

“And what if in that chip falling you give in to your desire to jump me?” He teased.

I smacked his arm. “Hey! I don’t think you have to worry about that.”

“So,” Max gave me a sidelong glance, “you don’t want to jump me?”

“Do you want to jump me?” I replied turning the tables on him.

“Do I have a pulse?” He shot back, teeth gleaming in the dark.

Surprised and embarrassed by his honesty, I smacked him again.

“Stop!” He yelped. “You only get to beat me after.”

“I’m not having this conversation with you,” I straightened and looked out the window.

“You wanted spontaneous,” he laughed.

Turning into the drive way, he parked the car. We sat in the dark, listening to each other breathe, hearts beating in unison.

I didn’t have to look at Max to know that he was sporting the same goofy smile I was. That in this very moment we were happy.

I was happy.

“So,”

“So,”

He rubbed his neck I tucked my hair behind my ear.

“I had a good time.”

“So did I.”

“I’m glad you told me.”

“I’ve been wanting to for so long.” He blinked becoming serious. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t,” I put my finger over his lips. “It’s over. We’ll talk about it again, some other time, some other day. But not tonight.”

“Ok,” he held my hand in his. “Will you go out with me tomorrow?”

“A second date?” I quipped.

“Yeah.”

“I’d love to.”

Yes, things were perfect.

[Tesseract]

Chapter 29


A week and a half later

“So, chica how’s it going with you and moon doggie?” Maria quizzed me good naturedly.

I couldn’t stop the beatific smile from spreading across my face. It was going good, brilliant, just perfect. He was perfect in his imperfectness.

He was beautiful and shy, sexy and reserved. A control freak, who drove me crazy with his over-protectiveness but made me feel like the finest Dresden china with the care and gentleness he showed. But still, we’d had several conversations on my ability to take care of myself.

Yep, for all his forward thinking and veneer of civility, Max Evans was very much a Neanderthal. And, I loved him for it.

I loved him. There was no doubt about it. I think, we said that to each other every single day, each time we saw each other – to be honest, if I wasn’t intent on making up for lost time, I’d find us very annoying!

“So, the smile tells me things are going well!” Maria laughed, and I flushed brighter.

“C’mon Liz, you have to tell me. I haven’t been on a date in forever, and sex, well, let’s just say I’m thinking of naming my hand.”

“Maria!” Sandalised and amused, I nearly spat a mouthful of iced tea on the counter.

“Liz!”

“It’s private.”

“Liiiiiiizzzz! Please. It can’t be private. I’m your best friend. As your best-friend, I have the right to pester you with details about hot monkey sex, and live vicariously through you.”

“How old are you?”

“Nu-uh, sweetie,” she shook her head, her earings sparkling in the afternoon sun. “That is so not going to work. Besides, have you seen girlfriend’s abs and butt?”

Dreamy sigh, I had. In fact, I had more than seen them. I’d run my hands over every inch of that delicious rippling chest. We’d moved forward slowly, glacially even, in our physical relationship. And even though sexual frustration got the better of me sometimes, I think it was the right decision to make.

With the voluminous amounts of information inundating me from all sides, and my precarious emotional state, I was grateful that Max was content with the pace I had set for us. But I knew, it came with a condition, that when the time came, I would be the one to make the first move.

I don’t know how much of this showed on my face because Maria immediately asked, “Liz, you guys have been attached at the hip for like days now. I mean, it’s like you have this uncanny Max radar as soon as he appears so do you. It works the same way for him. And,” she rolled her eyes comically, “I’m not even going to count off the number of times, I’ve caught you two lip-locked or groping each other. I swear,” she grinned, “it’s like your nymphos or something.”

“Maria, we are not that bad. Besides,” I put my glass in the dishwasher, “the man is an amazing kisser. If you knew, you’d be amazed at how I manage to stay off him.”

“I can imagine,” she rummaged through the fridge. “So you have to…oooh, mousse, grab a spoon! What was I saying?”

“You were,”

“Oh, I know,” she waved me off, “give me the dirty details. Don’t spare a single lurid one.”

Giving in to temptation, I swiped a finger across the mousse and told Maria the truth.

“There are no lurid details.”

“Huh,” she blinked rapidly. “No details? But…”

“Yeah,” I sighed licking my finger. “We kiss a lot. We grope, all above clothes…”

“No way!”

I nodded. “There has been no inappropriate touching.”

Her eyes widened dramatically. “But, you, you’ve…I mean…shit!”

“It’s ok though,” I missed the disbelieving look she gave me, “It’s the way I want it.”

“Okaaaaaay. So, you don’t want to jump hot sexy Adonis man who worships the ground you walk on and is jealous of the air you breathe?”

Put like that it sounded very very silly. But still I persevered.

“It was my choice, Maria. And he respects it.”

“Is this about your parents?” She asked, swirling her tongue along the tip of the spoon.

“What? No!”

“Codicil?”

“No.”

“Grandma Claudia?”

“No.”

“All of the above?”

“Yes…no,” I stuttered. “You tricked me!”

“Talk to me Liz.”

“I don’t know what’s the matter with me ‘Ria. It’s like I’m deliberately trying to sabotage my life or something. I’m happy. I really am. I’ve finally found him. And I love the man he is and he loves me. Then why do I feel like the boom’s going to be lowered on my head any minute.”

Pacing restlessly, I shoved my sleeves up. “I feel antsy all the time, like there’s this damn clock going off in my head and only I can hear it. It’s driving me crazy. What’s wrong with me? Surely I deserve to be happy? Don’t I?”

“Oh, Liz,” she cooed, “There’s nothing wrong with you. Come here.”

Obediently I walked into her outstretched arms. Maria gives the best hugs. She hugs you with her entire being, as if she’s trying to absorb you into herself and give up some of herself to you. It’s a unique feeling that no one else I know can come close to.

“Let’s talk about this, ok?”

Blinking away the hateful tears in my eyes, we walked into the den and still holding me, she sat on a couch.

“Why didn’t you tell me you’ve been feeling crappy?”

I shrugged.

“Sometimes I just want to smack some sense into you,” she blew out a breath. “I’m going to say this to you once…oh who am I kidding, I’m going to keep repeating this until you get it through your thick skull. You’ve got to stop hiding thing Liz.”

“What?” I asked, amazed.

“Hush. And you’ve got to stop thinking and justifying and for once in your life do some listening. I love you Liz, I really do, but your inability to share things that hurt you or your emotions just pisses me off. It always has and always will.” Her eyes flashed.

“You’re feeling emotional, and uneasy, because you’re putting off doing things. You’re so caught up in making yourself safe, in building your walls high that you haven’t addressed the big things.”

Raising her hand, she stopped me mid-motion. “No, I’m not done yet. I know it sucks, but you have to listen. You can hate me later, but I’m the only one who can say these things to you so just suck up and deal.”

Feeling distraught and not a little defensive about Maria’s accurate statements, I sat up straighter.

Pressing her hands to her temples, she stood in front of me.

“I’m happy for you Liz. I’m happy that you’ve found your prince and now you’re waiting for your happily every after. You deserve it. But there’s a problem with your fairytale, it works in reverse. Normally, the two lovers have to fight through obstacles to make their way to each other but you two haven’t.”

Maria stopped for a moment and pursed her lips thoughtfully. “Well, he might have but you haven’t.”

“What do you mean?” I shouted standing up. “How can you say that to me?”

“With a lot of love,” she continued a little more gently. “You’re ignoring the challenges in your way Liz. Your relationship with your parents is in tatters and you’ve done nothing to restore it! You’ve found out all these things about your past that you didn’t know before, but instead of understanding them or finding out more – you’ve pushed them out of your mind. Wake up Liz! They won’t disappear. They are just going to come back, bigger and scarier than before.”

“I,”

“And you haven’t dealt with Grandma Claudia’s will and codicil, yet. She entrusted you to do something, at the very least make a decision, but you haven’t done that. So tell me, petunia, how can you hope for a happily ever after when there is so much left to do?”

********************

It’s incredible how best-friends, have the ability to rip through your blinders and defenses to expose the soft irresolute center.

One guilt trip and crying jag later, here I was going through nana’s belongings. I’d expected going into her room and looking through her things to be heart-wrenching but it wasn’t. The room was curiously empty of her presence, not even a whiff of the lily scent I associated with her.

It was just a room full of books, and maybe clues to my destiny. Since I didn’t know where to start, aside from the certainty that I wasn’t ready to uncover the mystery surrounding my antecedents, I restricted my search to any and all references to the Sentinel, the Mesaliko, the Anasazi and the Dravidians.

“Silver Skyes,” the title caught the light and unthinkingly I reached for it. Fate must have decided to cut me some slack, because it dealt with the three civilizations depicted in the cave paintings. Alone at home, after convincing Maria that I was calm enough to be left alone, I bean reading it and slowly it became clearer why Alex's theory made so much sense.

[Tesseract]

I won awards?! Umm, you're kidding right? If not, then well, shit! Holy Wow! Thank you for umm, nominating me and voting. This is just incredible. I've got to go check out that thread. Usually, I just post my stuff, check the other stories I read, and leave. Ok, I'm going to say it again...WOW!

I'm over it now. Thank you guys. As always, it's a pleasure to write and feedback, good or bad, makes it even better.


Chapter 30


I scour your words for clues;
some straw that I can clutch.
(Close Reading, B. Bennet)


A rare first edition, one of only eleven ever published, “Silver Skyes” was a curious mix of science fiction, archeology and pop-culture. Definitely not a trust-worthy source to pin my hopes on but still…there was something about it.

Halfway through a particularly bloody inter-galactic battle between a parasitic race and earth dwellers I dozed off. I wasn’t completely asleep since I was still aware of my surroundings, the lace curtains fluttering in the breeze and the brightly checked quilted underneath my hands. Instead I floated in that in-between realm when the separation between reality and the fantastic is porous. Images and snatches of past events and conversations flashed in my mind, along with others that I didn’t recognize.

I was in the stone cavern again. A chamber carved into a fist of rock and granite. I danced across the hard uneven floor with unfaltering rhythm. The green translucent onion pods gleamed gently and streaks of light refracted off the walls. I could make-out faint shadows in the pods, but that wasn’t what caught my attention.

It was the carvings on the walls and the elusive tune.

The carvings were just like the cave paintings at the Reservation. It all looked the same. Except, the center symbol of air, water and earth glowed in time with music playing in my ears. The music, a faint rumble, like a heart beat guided my feet and moved in sync with my own heart. It was melancholy and beautiful. Ignoring the hovering pods I searched for the source of the hum, but again the chamber was empty. It hit a wrong note.

“What are you looking for little one?”

Unsurprised, I turned to see Riverdog sitting in front of a fire in the desert. The night sky glittered with millions of stars, pressed low enough to touch.

“The Sentinel,” I replied simply. “Why are you here?”

“I’ve been waiting for you.”

“Why?” I danced to the silent music.

“I knew your mother.”

“Nancy?” I asked focusing on a glittering star.

“No, the one who is in the spirit world.”

“Oh,” I thought that over. “Is that her?” I pointed to the close bright star, feeling the starlight glancing over my skin.

“She is within. You must seek her.”

“How?” I admired the whorls of light mimicking my movements over sand.

“You are the key.”

The scene changed abruptly. I was running through a nightmare forest of thorns. The sky started out light but as I escaped deeper into the forest it darkened steadily until a funnel of thunder and clouds surrounded me. Sheets of rain fell and mixed with the tears streaking down my face.

I had to run, harder, faster.

I couldn’t let them get me.

I had to find Max.

Find Max.

I needed to center myself and fight. But fear and inadequacy overwhelmed me. I wasn’t strong enough. I wasn’t ready for this. It was too soon.

Urgency made me clumsy.

“Come out, come out wherever you are.” The obscenely young voice sang in the dark, striking terror in my heart.

My jacket caught on a vine, and in my desperation I tore it off. I stumbled and fell in the bog. Stinging brambles scratched my arms and face.

“He can’t save you. No one can save you, Liz. Just come with me. It won’t hurt a bit.” And then he laughed, a whimsical sound that pierced through the thunder blasting around me.

“No!” I screamed. “I’d die first.”

“If you insist,” he replied playfully, stalking me through the wilderness. His voice seemed to come at me from all sides at once.

He was everywhere.

I couldn’t escape. I stifled a sob and grasping for purchase, slid down the ravine.

“What I need is inside. Dead or alive, I will have the key.”

A wave of pain hit me. It flared over my nerve endings and burnt through my mind, as the coppery taste of blood and saliva filled my mouth. I heard screams. Whether it was me or Max, I can’t tell. Hoarse animal like sounds and pain merged to the point of non-recognition. Max’s face was a study in agony.

Bloody, bruised and grimy, he knelt on a hard concrete floor. His hands shackled to the wall behind him. The young brown haired owner of the menacing voice pressed his slender hands to Max’s temples.

“Where is it?” He asked pleasantly.

Max spat in his face, flecking it with blood.

“Very well,” he sighed.

“Nicholas,” Max gurgled before slumping to the ground. Blood streamed from his nose and corneas.

“NO!” I screamed shrilly, jarring myself into a hazy wakefulness.

“Liz, sweetness, wake up. Liz, wake up. It’s Max.”

I shrank back against the wall, my eyes getting accustomed to the dark room.

“Max?” Even to my own ears, I sounded hoarse.

“Yeah, it’s Max,” he soothed. “Everything is ok, now. See?”

Warily, he reached out and touched my hand. The tingling I associated with him, like swallowing lightning, eased my fear.

“Oh, Max.” I flung myself into his arms and he fell back onto the bed, with me sprawled over his chest.

“You’re ok. You’re ok.”

I hooked my arms around his neck and buried my face in the warm hollow of his neck. This was familiar. This was safety, away from the horrors of my imagination.

“I’m fine. Everything is ok now. It was just a bad dream,” his hands stroked down my back. Long tender touches that eased muscles and nerves in their wake. “Must have been a doozy, huh?”

I didn’t reply instead pressed myself even further into his embrace. He felt solid underneath me. Strong. Safe.

“You scared me,” he whispered in my hair. “I came in and you were screaming. You want to tell me about it?”

I shook my head, sharply. For a dream, it seemed so real, so immediate that I couldn’t speak of it – afraid to make it real.

Accepting my silence, we lay together quietly until I felt my pulse ease. Content to just be with him, I shifted and pressed my ear to his heart, soothed by its unhurried rhythm.

Max moved underneath me, mumbling a little.

“Did you say something?” I lifted my head to look at him.

“I was thinking of turning on my side. Do you mind?”

I looked at him blankly for a moment and then our intimate position hit me. I drew back, only to have him settle me even more firmly against his chest.

“Don’t,” Max rolled over on his side still holding me in his arms. Admiration over his grace won over my embarrassment and the knowledge that the hard bulge in his jeans pressing against my thigh insistently was probably uncomfortable.

Still, I tried to wriggle away, only to press into his groin even more tightly when smiling, he slid a hand over my calf, and hooked my leg over his thigh. I gasped. This was definitely further than we’d been before. In some ways, I felt like a high school teenager, my sexual naivety never more apparent then at that moment.

“What are you doing?” I whispered, as one of his hands tangled in my hair and other slid over my butt.

“Distracting you.”

“Sorry,” I blinked, acutely aware of the wetness pooling between my legs. In our current position, he’d feel it on his leg, soon. He’d smell the faint scent on my skin.

“I don’t think this is,” I sucked in a breath as he pressed warm, open mouthed kisses on my neck. My neck arched involuntarily.

“You don’t think this is?” He prompted, swiping his tongue across my earlobe then nibbling on it.

Thoughts in disarray, I tried to focus on what I’d been saying. But it was impossible to ignore the tantalizing circles his fingers were drawing on my butt.

“I,” swallowing, “I don’t think this is such a good idea.”

“Why not?” He licked the skin over my jugular, and goose bumps erupted on my skin. I tensed in anticipation.

“Because…oh,” at that instant Max pressed his mouth to my jugular and sucked hard. I could feel the pull straight through to my breasts and abdomen. My hands clenched in his hair as he pulled harder, marking me, feasting on me.

“Because…I used to be good at this.” I rambled, aware of the hickeys he was leaving on my neck.

“Good at what?” He asked evenly. Languidly, both his hands cupped my bottom and pressed my higher into him.

“Thinking,” I gasped, aware of the sudden tension in his body. “What?”

“You’re wet.”

I blushed. A wave of heat ran through my body, and my core throbbed at the amazement in his voice.

“Max, please,”

“Please, what?” He asked, his eyes pupils brightening to the color of golden wheat.

“Do you want me to stop? Or touch you?”

My head spun at the sexy hoarseness in his voice. I licked my lips.

“Do you want me touch you, Liz?” He repeated. Mesmerized by the color burning along his cheekbones and the hunger in his eyes, I couldn’t respond.

“Would you let me touch you here,” abandoning my butt, his hands circled my breasts lazily.

“Do you like that?”

I whimpered. My body awash in impulses and sensations, it was incredible how aroused I was. Oh god, he had stop to circling my breasts. His fingers barely grazed my nipples and underneath my tank top my breasts tightened painfully.

I took a deep breath and pushed my chest out. He had to touch me.

But he didn’t. He was still looking at me unconscious of the random movement of his hands.

“I,”

“What are you thinking now?”

“What?” I asked dazedly fighting the need to move his hands to my nipples and pinch them.

“Good,” and he swooped in to kiss me.

Max pressed his mouth to mine and our tongues sucked and swirled. I sucked his tongue into my mouth, before pressing mine into his. The tenor of our kisses changed, from bruising and ravenous to slow and languorous. Encouraged by his soft groans, I leaned into explore his mouth thoroughly. Sweeping my tongue across his lips and pushing it against his teeth before mating with his.

Bursts of color flared behind my eyes, tastes exploded in my mouth.

He tasted like caramel, like luscious caramel melting in the hot sun. I could feel the flavor, uniquely his, sliding down my throat, heating my skin, scenting the air.

It was addictive. Overpowering. Consuming.

I had to have him and I did. I sucked his bottom lip into my mouth and bit down. He moaned, and I tasted cinnamon.

“Liz,” he mumbled in my mouth before tearing his lips away and dropping small feathery kisses along my cheekbones. He licked a meandering line along my jaw and in response I hitched my leg higher over his hip. I turned my head, and allowed him to nip at my earlobes, before he roughly sucked the soft skin behind them. The hint of roughness, combined with the feeling of his hand caressing my breast set me on fire.

I tossed my head back against the pillow, my hands streaking underneath his shirt to find velvet skin. My nails dug into his back.

“Are you thinking now?” He growled, his hand streaking down to cup my warmth.

“Max,” I mewled, as he rubbed my crotch harder.

“Again,” He pulled my covered breast into his mouth.

“You,” I gasped for air, my chest heaving. Abandoning my grip on his back, I pushed his head down harder forcing more of my breast into his mouth. Oh god, oh god, I couldn’t stop. Lightning streaked through my body.

Releasing my wet nipple with a pop, he looked up and stopped rubbing between legs.

If he stopped now, I’d kill him. I felt like I was going to explode. The pressure built in my body and I was going to uncork like a geyser. Forcing heavy lids open, I focused on him.

“Don’t stop. I’ll kill you if you stop now,” I hissed, gulping in breath.

Sweat gleamed on his forehead. His hand clenched in my hair, tugging me forward.

“This is us, Liz. I won’t let anything happen to you.”

“Us,” I replied. “Nothing will happen to us.”

“Yes,” our mouths met again, hungrily, ravenously and just as Max wrapped his tongue around mine, his blunt nails dragged over the warmth between my legs.

I went off like a firecracker. A brutal wave of pleasure assaulted my senses, and I was incandescent.

********************

“Wow,” I croaked, some time later, cradling Max’s head against the soft curve of my breast.

“What got into you?”

“I don’t know,” he mumbled. “Stress, seeing you look so haunted. It just hit me.”

Struggling to lift his head, “I’m sorry.” He stopped, then continued apologetically, “I jumped you like some kind of lunatic instead of comforting you.”

In the aftermath of all that passion, tenderness bloomed inside me. “I’m not sorry.”

“No?”

“No,” I tugged his hair to make him look up. “No, I’m not sorry. I feel really good.”

“Really?” He beamed.

“Yeah, you’ve got some skill Mr. Evans. And the whole hand wave clean up thing,” I grinned, “a very handy trick.”

Max moved up, and shared my pillow. His hands played with my hair. A thought struck me, “Did you…you know,” I blushed again, internally cursing the bad habit.

“Yeah,” he smiled lazily.

“What?” I asked intrigued by the mischievous gleam in his eye. “What are you thinking?”

“I was thinking,” he schooled his features, “if it was so good with clothes on, then without clothes…holy wow!”

“Max!” I snorted with laugher, hiding my face in my hands.

“At least we’ve established that I turn you on,” he mused thoughtfully ignoring my laughter.

“Did you doubt it?”

He looked vaguely uncomfortable.

“Max, did you really?”

“Well, it’s the one thing – physical pleasure, making love – we’ve never talked about. I mean, fantasies aside, it’s very different in reality.”

“I guess,” I pondered over his comment. “The mechanics are different in reality that’s for sure.”

Pushing aside the thought, I caressed the curve of his mouth with my index finger. “Do I turn you on?”

“Are you breathing?” He quirked an eyebrow.

“Huh?”

“Sweetness, all you need to do is breathe and I’m turned on.”

“Really?” I asked eagerly.

Max pressed brushed his lips against my forehead, once then twice. “Absolutely, positively.”

Sighing happily, I snuggled in his embrace all remnants of my dream banished.

“Liz,”

“Hmmm,”

“Tell me your dream?”

I debated for a moment, before accepting that everything Maria had said earlier today was still true. And I needed to start telling Max what I was thinking, if we were ever going to move forward.

“Can you take me to the pod chamber tomorrow?”

Forestalling his argument, I said, “It will make more sense there. Please?”

“Fine. Tomorrow morning?”

“Mmmm,” I agreed tiredly as a weight lifted off me. “Tomorrow.”

********************

[Tesseract]

Thank you for the feedback everyone! You make it so rewarding to write. Things were getting a little settled, so I thought we should kick it up a notch. Hang on to your hats, the ride is just begining. :evil

A special "thank you" to Gioia and Tasyfa - who are quite wonderful in conversation, for their ideas, and constructive criticism.
References: Susannah Kearsely The Shadow Horses

Chapter 31


I woke up alone but refreshed. Looking over at the rumpled sheets next to me, a small smile curved my lips. He hadn’t left. He had stayed and kept the nightmares at bay.

I remembered waking up in the middle of the night, my heart fighting to beat its way out of my chest. An unnamed fear licked at my senses and I had trembled.

Max unconsciously tightened the arm he’d slung across my stomach.

“Go to sleep,” he sighed in my hair.

Blinking rapidly, I tried to peer into the dark and give a shape to my nameless, faceless fears.

“Max,” I whispered, clinging to his arm.

He pulled me closer into the curve of his body, tucked my head under his chin and surrounded me.

“Whatever it is will have to go through me. Go to sleep,” he mumbled.

Comforted by the words as much as the beat of his steady heart, I slept dreamlessly for the rest of the night.

Stronger together than apart, nana’s repeated admonishments rang true. Last night he had kept the monsters at bay, without knowing who or what they were. Today, in the comforting light of the morning sun, I’d tell him everything about them.

Humming under my breath, I took a quick shower and donned a pair of green capris and a pink t-shirt. After lacing my sneakers, I pulled my hair into a loose braid and hurried down the stairs to the kitchen.

I could feel Him humming in the back of mind, singing along my skin. It felt wonderful. His energy and enthusiasm for the day’s revelations eased my fears.

“Hey!” I called, pushing open the kitchen door only to stop and admire his mouthwatering physique. Dressed in a pair of cargoes, which clung to his slim hips and a snug white t-shirt that outlined his flexed back, he looked like something out of an advertisement for healthy living. When he turned towards me, coffee cup in hand, my breath stuttered.

“Hey yourself,” he smiled. “Did you sleep ok?”

“Yeah.” I moved forward to pour some coffee for myself. “Thank you for staying with me.” I looked at him from underneath my eyelashes.

“I’ll get you in bed any way I can,” he grinned unrepentantly and I couldn’t help but smile back. He was just so cute.

“Breakfast?”

“Coffee’s fine, thanks.” I looked on as he continued slathering his toast with strawberry jam.

Ignoring the surge of desire when he sank even white teeth into the toast, I stirred sugar into my coffee.

Feeling his eyes on me, I said, “What?”

He didn’t reply, instead moved to stand in front of me. Lifting my eyes from the coffee mug I met his appraising gaze and felt my heart beat in sync with his. The space between us shrunk and the air sizzled.

Tracing my face with his index finger, Max asked, “How are you feeling this morning?”

“Fine,” I replied relishing his light touch on my face. “I’m fine. You kept the dreams away.”

He didn’t smile. “Are you up to going to pod chamber today?”

Reaching up to hold his hand, I leaned my face into it. It felt warm and tender against my skin. “We have to do this, Max. Time is running out.”

His grip tightened on my hand convulsively. “We don’t…”

“We do,” I stopped him. “This isn’t just about nana’s letter, Max. I need to understand my past. I need to discover these things for myself.” Closing my eyes for a second, I breathed in his spicy aftershave, so different from his distinct caramel and cinnamon taste.

Inhaling, I opened my eyes and spoke clearly. “This wasn’t the first dream of its kind I’ve had.”

Max’s eyebrows rose in surprise and concern.

“I had one right after nana died. Maria and Alex found me screaming. They woke me up.” I paused, waiting for him to speak. But he was quiet.

“So, you see we have to do this. I’ve had a lot of time to think about this, and after everything that’s happened with my parents,” he winced, “and finding you – I think I’m ready.”

“But what if you aren’t, Liz?” he demanded anxiously. “I don’t know what I’d do if something happened to you.” His eyes became intense. “I can’t handle losing you.”

“Max.” I cupped his familiar beautiful face in my hands. “There are no guarantees in life. But, I believe that I can handle anything if we’re together.”

Touching his forehead to mine, he spoke softly. “Ok. Partners?”

“Partners,” I agreed, and hoped fervently that my insistent feeling of foreboding would never get the chance to test our resolve.

***********

The drive to the desert was a quiet one. Max and I traded small smiles and glances, as the car hummed along. I spent most of the trip remembering and organizing the details of my dreams.

A part of me desperately hoped that they were just that – dreams. I hoped they didn’t point to some mysterious past or dangerous future. I didn’t know what I would do if they were even remotely prophetic. There, I said it.

Prophetic.

Visions and not dreams.

What would I do then?

I would deal with it, because a part of me already knew that the dreams were just the beginning… Max halted my tumultuous uneasy thoughts by interlacing his fingers with mine. Grateful for his silent support I pressed his hand between mine and held on.

He pulled off the highway and turned onto a dirt track heading into the blazing desert. It was only eight but felt like the middle of the day.

“You see those cliffs?” He pointed to a series of towering rock formations in the distance.

Squinting against the light, I nodded.

“We’ll park at the base of those cliffs and hike. The chamber is pretty high up in a rock wall. It’s good you wore sneakers, there really isn’t a path per se.”

“How did you guys find it again?” I turned to him. Mentally mapping his profile so that I could recall it and him at will.

Max rested his wide-palmed hand on the steering wheel. He looked completely at home driving over the rough terrain. “We started having these dreams during high-school. In the dreams, the four of us were in the pod chamber together.”

“Four?” I interrupted.

Max looked uncomfortable. “Umm, yeah, me, Michael, Izzy and umm…Tess,” he trailed off.

“It’s ok, Max.” I rubbed his hand soothingly. It didn’t help, he still looked miserable.

“Liz, I,”

“No, it’s ok. It wasn’t your fault. I’m not angry with you.” He nodded, looking unconvinced.

I sighed. “I swear Max, how could I hold you responsible for going through such a huge betrayal? She used you. She abused your trust. She manipulated all of you and despite all those things, you’ve managed to come through. Haven’t you?”

He inclined his head marginally.

“She couldn’t divide us. We are still together – so it’s fine.”

Silently, he brought the car to a stop. Pressing a thumb and forefinger to the bridge of his nose, he said, “How can I not hold myself responsible, Liz? I believed that she was you. I violated our trust in each other. How could I not have known that she was an imposter?”

I bit my lip in sympathy. He was going to keep beating himself over the head with these past mistakes, unless I convinced him otherwise. The only problem was I didn’t know what to say to him. I’d tried hard to not ask how he didn’t recognize her or why I hadn’t known she’d violated our connection.

I suppose a part of it was personal guilt. I hadn’t known he’d been in so much danger. And, I couldn’t forgive myself for not knowing. It rankled that I hadn’t realized any of it. But I couldn’t let him shoulder that burden alone.

“Max?”

“Yes,” his bleak voice answered.

“Why didn’t I know you were missing?”

“What?” He shifted in his seat to meet my eyes.

Looking at him seriously, I repeated, “After Tess tapped into our connection, why didn’t I know you were in danger? Or that you were missing from our connection?”

Max frowned. His lips twisted into a grimace. After several moments of silence he admitted, “I don’t know.”

Touching my hand to his worried countenance I said, “There is a lot of stuff that’s unclear in the whole Tess fiasco. If you’re going to blame yourself for not recognizing her motives before anything happened then I should be blamed for leaving you alone to handle it. I didn’t notice that things were so horribly wrong that I almost lost you. Don’t you think that’s my fault?”

As expected he vigorously shook his head in denial. “No, Liz. How can you say that? You didn’t know. How could you have known anything of what was going on? No, it wasn’t your fault. I won’t let you blame yourself.”

“Well,” I cocked my head to one side, thinking his reasoning through. “Just as you don’t blame me for not helping you, for not noticing, the same way I can’t blame you for being used.”

“But,”

I kissed him. My lips brushed against his and he abandoned the need for words. Shaping his mouth to mine, he kissed me back. It wasn’t a kiss of heat, lust, or desire. It was for comfort and a recognition that we were real and here. He sighed against my mouth, a gentle exhalation that revealed his soul. Touching my lips to his nose, and closed eyes, I backed away.

He licked his lips, retracing the movement of my mouth before his eyes fluttered open. Visibly gathering his faculties he blinked back into awareness.

“So, are we going to do this?” I asked.

“Yes, we are,” he replied.

“No recriminations or blame?”

“I can’t promise,” he hesitated.

“Max, I’m not asking you to promise me something that goes against your nature.” He looked at me uncomprehendingly. “I’m just asking that you try to not blame yourself. She messed you up – and we should figure that out together, ok?”

Registering what I wanted from him, Max smiled tentatively. “How’d you get to be so smart?”

Easing back, I said cheekily, “That is why they pay me the big bucks to mould impressionable minds.’

“And you do make one hell of an impression,” he grinned back. Motioning towards the towering rock face in front of us, he asked, “Ready?”

“Yes.”

***********

Max held on to my hand, tugging me along the hillside. Surefooted as a goat, his familiarity with the terrain was quite obvious, as was his fitness.

“I really detest you,” I huffed out, smoothing damp tendrils of hair away from my face.

“How come?” he asked, chilling the bottle of water before giving it to me.

I took a long cool sip and felt my temperature decline. “You’re not even breathing heavily!” I complained. “While I’m huffing like a steam engine.”

He smirked. The sight annoyed me even more.

“I’m not out of shape, so don’t even think it Max Evans! How can you deal with this heat?” I asked plaintively.

“Poor baby.” He tucked a limp strand of hair behind my ear. “We’re almost there.”

“Where?” I demanded, scowling at the blank rock face staring at me.

Reclaiming my hand, Max pulled me up a small steep ledge and faced a blank smooth rock.

“Is this it?” I asked curiously, examining the rock for any signs of a door or hinges.

“Yeah,” he replied and pressed the palm of his hand at the top right corner, where the rock curved slightly. Without warning, the panel slid open and a hint of cool air swept out from the cave.

Startled, I stared at his hand, the cliff and the open maw of the pod chamber. Then the scientist in me kicked in. “How did you do that? That was so cool!”

Max laughed. “Yeah, it is pretty cool. Michael and I would sit here and do this a lot,” rolling his eyes, “we were dorks!”

“Hey, if I could make a rock wall disappear I’d spend a lot of time messing around with it as well,” I replied, trailing my fingers along the cave entrance. Strange, there were no sharp abraded edges.

“Max, how did it open?” I asked again without looking away from the cave opening.

“We think it recognizes our energy signatures.”

“Oh, you mean something like digitally recognized hand and finger prints,” I mused.

“Yeah, kind of,” he shrugged.

Fascinated, I asked, “So, it recognizes all of you?”

“Well, our hand placements are different but yes, it does recognize all of us.”

I thought that over. It made sense that all of them had access to their birth place. It was well concealed. In fact, if someone didn’t know exactly where to look for it they’d never find it.

“There’s other fun stuff inside,” he said trailing a finger along my nape.

I shivered. “Let’s go.”

The door whooshed shut after we took a few steps into the narrow passageway. Max cupped his hands together and a pale blue light flickered to life. When he opened his hands, a small ball of light floated up lighting up the passageway. It drifted a few steps ahead of us, and I saw green lights flickering through the rounded opening just ahead.

Max pressed a hand to my head and I ducked through the low opening. Here, it was the pod chamber. It was exactly the same as my dreams. A high domed space, with smooth walls lit up by green lights emanating from the four pods suspended in mid-air.

Breath caught in my throat. The color of vivid jade, the small onion shaped pods glowed in the chamber dispelling its coldness. Thin veins connected them to each other. I could imagine them transferring nourishment and a sense of togetherness to the infants they nurtured.

Max moved to the center of the chamber, and touched a pod closest to him. It flickered in recognition.

“Is that yours?” I asked, trying to figure out what was missing.

“Yep,” he nodded, trailing a gentle hand down the weathered membrane. “I remember feeling safe while I was in there. I knew nothing could ever hurt me here.”

“Did you wake up often?”

“One or twice, I think,” he replied thoughtfully. “The first time I woke, I was filled with this overwhelming sense of security. The second time, I couldn’t breathe. It was like I was choking. My lungs were filling with this liquid and I felt this push to rip through the membrane.”

He paused, looking around the chamber as if remembering those first momentous seconds. “I fell out. I couldn’t breathe. I remember coughing hard and all this stuff came out. But I didn’t think about it, because Isabelle was coming out right then as was Michael.”

I could well imagine the sight of three small naked children, stumbling out of the only home they’d ever known. How scared and terrified they must have been. My heart hurt for him.

Max bent a little, to touch the fourth pod. “I wanted to wait for her. She was so small, and the light in her pod kept fading in and out. I wanted to help her out, but I didn’t know how. And then, Michael and Iz said it was time to leave. And we left her here. Alone.”

He raised stricken eyes to meet my sympathetic gaze. “She must have been so scared Liz. Alone, and cold in an alien world where nothing was recognizable. I should never have left her.”

I wanted nothing more than to ease his troubles and needless guilt. He had just been a baby, and already the weight of the world rested on his shoulders. At the age of six he’d been responsible for his siblings. And he hadn’t really stopped looking after them since then.

Deciding to break the mood, I called out his name sharply, “Max.”

Like a man stumbling through a dense fog, he walked toward me stiffly. No sign of his smooth gait.

“I was in the pod chamber in both of my dreams,” I began quickly, trying to draw his attention away from the past. “I was dancing. Here in the chamber. The pods were glowing and there was this faint music that I could hear. Its rhythm matched my heartbeat.”

Eyes wide, I spun around to the center of the cave. The pods hung around me and the feeling of something missing came back full force.

“I wasn’t afraid. It felt so normal to be here, to feel the music, its hum filling my senses but then I stumbled and stopped. I was standing exactly in this spot, and I thought something was missing. Something big, that the pods drew energy from, was missing. It was supposed to be right here.” I knelt in the middle of the cave, dreams filling my eyes. “But it wasn’t here. And the music stopped.”

I opened my eyes to find Max hovering near me. His worry and anxiety communicated itself clearly as if he had spoken. “Liz.” Gently he pulled me upright.

“I’ve never been in this cave before Max,” I continued softly, chewing on my lip as the implications became clear, “but I knew what the pods looked like. I knew about the green jelly the pods were filled with. And I know that something is missing. I can feel it here.” I pressed my hand against my heart.

“Just like I know, nothing will be complete unless we find it.”

“I don’t know what it is Liz,” Max replied helplessly. “I’ve never seen anything but the pods here. I don’t remember anything else.”

Black dots spun before my eyes, and waves of sound crashed in my ears. “We have to find it, Max. And we have to find the key,” I gasped, clutching his arms.

“Liz!” His worried voice reached my ears. “Liz, are you ok?” he asked again, holding me firmly against his body.

“Huh,” I replied dazedly. Something glinted in the corner of my eye, the faint outline of a cone. Struggling against nausea, I turned in his arms, slowly.

“Did you see that?” I squinted where the shape had been.

“See what?” he asked, following my gaze.

I shook my head, struggling to focus both at the vague hint of…something in the distance and the quick image flashed in my mind.

“Liz.” Max continued holding me against him, his breath coming out in small puffs against my neck. “What is the key?”

My reverie broken, I turned my head to see his troubled face. “You said we have to find it and we have to find the key.”

I took several seconds to answer. “I don’t know. They were in my dreams.”

Murmuring, I told him, “I was running through a forest. It was dark and raining. I knew that if he caught me, I’d die. I had to find you. But I fell,” my pulse sped up, “and he caught me.”

“Who?” Max’s arms tightened around me, protecting me from phantom threats.

“He wanted the key. But Riverdog said I had to find my mother. She was within. And then he said,”

“Who said Liz?” Max growled, his body tensing under my hands.

“Nicholas. He said the key was within. It was in me. My mother was in me.”

“Nicholas?” Max barked.

His grip tightened fiercely on my arms. Shaking me a little, he demanded, “Where did you hear that name?”

I bit my lip in pain. He ignored the gesture and shook me again, harder.

“Liz, where did you hear that name? How do you know about Nicholas?”

“Max,” I whimpered. “You’re hurting me.”

“How do you know him?” he shouted, shoving me away from him.

“I don’t know,” I cried taken aback by his anger. “I don’t know him.” My voice broke as a wave of anger and desperation broke over me. Awash in his dark fear, I stumbled over my thoughts.

“He was the one chasing me in my dream. He wanted the key.”

I took a deep breath to steady myself and avoided Max’s bristling tawny stare. “He said, dead or alive, he would have the key.”

I felt more than heard his quick intake of breath. The air in the chamber quivered once before settling uneasily. My nervousness increased as seconds ticked by and Max remained silent.

“Max,” I spoke tentatively uncertain of his response. “Do you know Nicholas?”

“Yes.”

“How do you,”

“I met him in New York.” Max scrubbed his hands over his face.

When he spoke again, my feelings of foreboding rang true and shattered the tentative peace we’d built.

“He wanted some information, which I didn’t have. But Nicholas does not take rejection well. He’s met me, and now you’ve dreamt of him,” he paused then looked at me, “I think we just ran out of time.”

***********

[Tesseract]

Chapter 32



He looked so forlorn and…broken that my heart trembled at the sight. Lost in his thoughts, I took a step back and wondered how I felt about his misplaced anger. But was it really anger? my heart asked anxiously. Couldn’t it just have been fear?

Fear?

Fear made us do strange things, this much was true. It made us react impulsively, thoughtlessly and in ways that we would never dream of in the light of day. And Max’s reaction had been extreme. It was incongruous.

I could feel his fingers gripping my arms, firm but not bruising. He had put me away from him with an urgency that bordered on pushing. And yet, in all the time I had known him, he had never so much as raised his voice. But was I just making excuses for his behavior because I loved him? The cynic inside me griped.

“Liz,” Max spoke tentatively.

His hair was standing up in tufts, and he looked pale. Then his gaze fell on my arms. Hissing out a breath, he scrambled for words. “Oh God! I’m sorry. Did I hurt you? I’m so sorry. I never…I’m sorry,” he trailed off miserably.

I took a good look at him. Expressions chased across his face so quickly I had a hard time reading them, but I picked out disgust, misery, fear. He looked down at his hands, completely appalled at his behavior. I sighed.

He would punish himself more effectively than I ever could.

“Max,”

He shuddered and opened his mouth to say something but I stopped him.

“No, listen to me.”

His golden eyes dulled to hazel as he uncomfortably stuck his hands in his pockets.

“Why did you do that? Why were you so angry when I mentioned Nicholas?”

He winced but I didn’t let that deter me.

“I know you Max, inside and out. I want to know why you almost hurt me.”

He looked so miserable that I couldn’t help softening my tone, but the words stayed the same.

“This thing, vision quest whatever,” I elaborated, “won’t get very far if we keep secrets from each other. You keep telling me to trust you but you have to do the same.”

Max adopted a mulish look. Oh, oh! Somewhere in the past few minutes I’d taken a wrong turn.

“I trust you,” he said, stiffening in the face of my obvious skepticism. “I do. More than anyone else. More than myself.”

Despite the humbling and comforting words, I could feel an enormous “but” coming along. I wasn’t wrong.

“But,” he continued, “this isn’t your problem.”

“What?” I glared at him, disbelieving that he could say something so profoundly stupid.

“Just listen to me, ok.” He traced an invisible design on the cave floor. “I’m not saying this to exclude you, or because I don’t trust you, or because I want to hurt you.”

Straightening abruptly he met my eyes full on. “I love you Liz. There are no words to describe or explain the intensity and completeness of it. It’s everything. You are everything. And Nicholas, and my past with him threaten you and that. You still have a choice, to leave and go back to Oxford. I’ll do everything in my power to keep you safe and away from all this – I swear Liz. Walk away and I’ll never let any of this touch you.”

I gasped. Tears filled my eyes. How could he say this to me? I had just found him and now he was telling me to leave. Words failed me.

Scrunching his eyes, he continued brokenly. “I know it sounds like I’m abandoning you or asking you to abandon me, but it isn’t that.”

“Then what is it, Max?” I demanded harshly. “Explain to me what the FUCK you’re talking about!”

He stepped forward, until we were merely an arm’s length apart. “I think, these dreams are foretelling what could happen if you stayed. They are a warning. I can give up anything, do anything, if it means keeping you safe, even if that means asking you to leave for your own protection.”

“You must think so little of me.” I pierced him with a look. “You think I’m going to leave you when you’re in danger, when you could get hurt. You think, I can be happy away from here,” I gesticulated wildly, “away from you knowing something could happen to you. You keep talking about what it would do to you to lose me, to see me hurt…but what about me, Max? How will I live if something happens to you?”

Tears streaked down my face and when Max tried to dry them, I held up a hand.

“No, don’t. I’m not going to act like a silly girl and cry and sob while you make all the decisions in my life. Decisions that affect my happiness!”

“Liz, please just let me,”

“No!” I scrubbed at the relentless tide of tears, and marshaled my thoughts. “You called us partners, which means we make joint decisions. We consult each other. Listen to each other. But at the first opportunity you’ve decided to give me ultimatums, well I won’t have it.”

Scowling, I pushed at him. “Who the fuck do you think you are to tell me what I can or can’t do? How dare you tell me that it will be safer for me to not get involved?” Shove. “In case you haven’t noticed, I am involved!” Shove. “I don’t need your approval to stay here, or to find out more. I can do all that on my own.”

A haze of anger curled the edges of my vision, and I beat against his chest. “I choose you and I choose to,”

He clamped a hand against my mouth. “Liz, please let’s talk about this. You can’t say it. You can’t commit…ow!”

I kicked him, hard. Max yelped, and dropped his hand.

“We don’t get to talk just when you feel like it!” I groused. “I choose you. And I choose to stay. That’s it. No going back.”

For a climactic statement it was a little disappointing. The earth didn’t heave and shake and the sky didn’t fall down. Max, on the other hand, looked stricken. It was like a scene from a tableau, the two of us locked in private torment, neither giving an inch, but fully cognizant of the other’s feelings.

I don’t know which one of us made the first move, but a second later Max’s arms were holding me tightly. I could feel the fine tremors running through his body. Concerned, I locked my arms around him. Spreading my fingers, I kneaded his tense back. After what felt like hours, he relaxed in my embrace and eased back.

Stroking the backs of his hands down my face, he smiled tremulously. “What am I going to do with you?”

Raising myself on tip toe I pressed my cheek to his, and enjoyed the heat that was so much a part of him. It was like relaxing in a warm bath.

Slowly, ever so gently, Max brushed away my drying tears and kissed my puffy lids. His soft lips trailed down my face, kissing away the evidence of my recent breakdown. When his mouth brushed mine, I leaned up eagerly but he didn’t repeat the caress.

My eyes fluttered open and I saw his somber face. “What?”

He was quiet for so long that I thought we’d just had our first big fight and resolved nothing.

“You’re courageous, beautiful and intelligent.” I blushed. “You are,” he insisted. “And sometimes I wonder what I ever did to deserve you.”

“Max,”

“Hush.” His thumb grazed the velvety softness of my mouth. “I was stupid,”

“Yes, you were!” I shot back.

He smiled for a second. “Stupid with fear. Nicholas scared me. The thought of Nicholas scares me, especially when I think of him finding you. But even more than that, your courage and fearlessness scare me because then I can’t put you away somewhere. You won’t let me protect you.”

“I’m not fearless, Max.” I kissed his thumb before tucking his hand in mine. “I can’t breathe when I think of you getting hurt. But the thought of losing you scares me more than Nicholas or anything else. If you think that’s courage then so be it.”

Brow wrinkling in understanding, Max touched his forehead to mine. “I guess you’ll have to teach me.”

“You know it already, Max, you just forgot in your testosterone surge,” I replied, linking my arms around his neck. “We’ll be just fine as long as you don’t go all macho on me and remember partners.”

“Even if I forget, remembering how scary you are when pissed will keep me in line,” he mumbled in my hair.

“Yeah, you better believe it, mister.” I tugged at the hair curling at the nape of his neck.

With a moue of regret, I slid away from him. “We still have to talk,”

“About Nicholas,” he completed.

“Yeah,” I nodded in assent. It was important to push him now and get it all out in the open so that we could move forward.

My dreams had only been worrisome until now but Max’s reaction and comment about them being prophetic scared me. If I were somehow able to tap into the future, or at least one possibility then it changed the situation completely. The niggling traces of fear and uncertainty still lurked in my mind and I couldn’t help but wonder if this was the right time to include Maria and Alex. Yes, there was danger and imminent threat but it would be better for them to be aware of the threat rather than walk into it blindly. I would never be able to forgive myself if something happened to either one of them.

But that wasn’t all. I wanted to confide in my friends, not just about Max but my role in the entire saga. I wanted to talk to them about it and gain some perspective. Max and I were too close to the situation, we needed help.

“Where did you go?” He slid an arm around my shoulders.

“Hmm, nowhere,” I smiled blankly, unwilling to open another issue before we dealt with the current one.

“You look a little chilly,” Max said concernedly as goose bumps appeared on my arms.

“A little,” I replied, hugging myself. “You want to go out?”

In silent synchrony, we turned and walked out in the warmly familiar New Mexico sun.

***********

By mutual agreement we sat facing each other. I didn’t want the harsh spotlight of his anger to confuse me, and he didn’t want to taint me with his remembered pain and humiliation.

“This is awkward,” he said in the deepening silence.

Clasping my arms around my knees I looked at him with sympathy. It wouldn’t do to touch him right now, but for the life of me I couldn’t think of something comforting to say.

“He hurt you.” It was a statement.

“Yes.”

I wanted to ask why but settled for, “Where did you meet him?”

“New York,” he paused then regrouped. “After Tess, things were a little crazy. Izzy was a mess. She wouldn’t go to school. Mom took time off from work to stay with her because she wouldn’t let Michael or me out of her sight.”

“Oh Max,” I sighed, my heart aching for their pain. When he’d recounted his horrible tale, I’d been far too relieved that they had come through it intact to worry about the effects of their trauma.

“It took a long time for things to come back to normal.” He snorted, “Well, as normal as they could be. We should have known it wouldn’t end there.”

“I don’t understand,” I said quizzically, unable to read his expression.

Max stood up and turned away from me. “Tess wasn’t working alone. She had allied herself to a race from Antar called skins. Nicholas commanded their army on earth.”

Firming his shoulders, he swung around to face me. His voice was blank as the words ripped through the peaceful afternoon. “Tess had been in touch with Nicholas while she was here in Roswell. We didn’t know about him until he approached Izzy in New York.”

“He approached Isabelle?” I gasped. “But, how did he know her?”

“He told her that they had been lovers on Antar. He preyed on her lack of memory and told her she was responsible for our family’s downfall!” Max spat bitterly.

“I don’t understand Max. You need to tell me clearly,” I begged.

This was worse than anything I had imagined. Lovers? Isabelle was…No, no, not Isabelle. Someone she had been in a different life on a different planet had been in love with Nicholas. But it was a life she didn’t remember, which meant that she had been used and betrayed. Again.

Max sat down abruptly, as if he didn’t have the energy to stand anymore. “College was the first time Izzy and I were separated. She didn’t want to move away from home, and I wanted to go to Columbia. It was a difficult decision to make, but Mom, Dad and Michael were adamant that we needed to live our lives separately. In the end, it was Michael who convinced her to let me go.”

“What did he say?”

“I don’t know,” Max shrugged. “They didn’t tell me and I never asked.”

“Things were getting better, we had settled into our separate lives. Izzy was apartment sitting for me when Nicholas showed up. He brought back her memories of Antar. Memories where she and Nicholas were lovers, where she hated Michael and I, and where it was her betrayal that led to our deaths.”

I bit down on my tongue to stop myself from talking. The misery etched on Max’s face wouldn’t let me ask any questions. Not now, not when the memory of it was still so brutal and vivid. Even now, sitting in front of me, I could see his eyes lose focus as specters from the past taunted him.

“When I came back from my conference,” he continued so softly that I strained to follow his words, “Isabelle was panicking. She was experiencing lost time and black outs. She kept confusing between the past and the present, between who she was and what she had been, between Isabelle and Vilondra.”

His voice wavered painfully for a second. Unable to stop myself, I pulled him into my arms, hoping to absorb some of his pain. He fell into me.

A torrent of words poured out of him. “Michael and I didn’t know what to do. She kept mumbling something about a summit. And then, I was called to it by the five star alliance. It was an ambush. They wanted me to give up the key. I didn’t know what they were talking about, but if it meant Nicholas would leave Izzy alone – I would have given him anything.”

Warm tears dampened my shirt. In response, I tightened my hands in his hair and rocked him back and forth.

“I would have done anything, Liz,” he sobbed. “She’s my sister and the bastard used her. He fucked around with her head and she was lost. So lost. I would have done anything to help her.”

“It’s ok, baby,” I whispered tearfully.

The raw mottled green of his agony and the grainy maroon of despair sank into my bones. I felt my body expand and contract as he shed more and more of his feelings into me. I was filled to the brim with the helplessness that had him in its grip. My body felt overly full and a vague pressure settled near my breast bone. Each tear drop seared into my skin like a hot brand, until I wanted to scream out loud but still I waited for more.

Max struggled to push away, but I wouldn’t have any of it. There would be no self-sacrificing heroics, or the need to protect each other from the worst we had seen and felt. No, we were beyond that and if this was what it took to heal then so be it.

“This is hurting you, Liz.”

“No,” I replied determinedly. “This is hurting us. You and me. Just tell me Max and we’ll deal with it together. It wasn’t your fault what happened to Isabelle. None of it was your fault.”

“It was,” he replied furiously, pulling away from me.

“It was my fault. I was supposed to protect her, to look after her but I didn’t. I didn’t protect her from Tess and I couldn’t protect her from Nicholas. So you tell me how the hell it wasn’t my fault?”

I looked at him speculatively. He was vibrating with self-loathing and rage. It wouldn’t get me anywhere to push the issue at this point. He would dig his heels in and just become more intractable.

Putting it aside for the moment, I asked as soothingly as I could, “What did you do when he asked for the key?”

“I told him he could have it if he left Isabelle alone.”

Thinking that over, I asked hesitantly, “But you didn’t have it? I mean, did you even know what it was?”

“No, I didn’t have it and I didn’t know what it was.”

Certain I wasn’t going to like the answer, I asked anyway, “What did you do?”

“I invoked my right as king to ask the alliance to protect the heir-apparent. It was in their best interests to safeguard Isabelle. Michael went to Copper Summit to destroy skin husks, and I,” he never let his gaze falter, “I let Nicholas mind-rape me.”

***********

[Tesseract]

Thank you for waiting so patiently and apologies for the delay.

A special thank you to Tasyfa, who gave me a much needed friendly kick!


Chapter 33


“Mind-rape?” I repeated in horror. If it meant what it sounded like then I could see why Max became untethered at the mention of Nicholas’ name.

“He forced his way into my head. It…hurt even though I let him in,” Max said haltingly.

His face was a study in blankness.

“I suppose that is part of the technique and the secret of its effectiveness.” A mirthless smile twisted his lips. “It hurts no matter how prepared you are for it. And you are never prepared for it.”

Lost for a moment, I took in his pained posture, the stiff shoulders, weariness embedded in the arch of his back and the bleakness in his eyes. The gritty sense of his exhaustion weighed me down and fatigue dulled my mind.

Max reached into the small pack he was carrying and pulled out the bottle of water, he’d given me earlier during the climb. He sipped from it gingerly. The small act marked with pain. “Nicholas searched through my memories of earth and unlocked the ones I hadn’t remembered from Antar. He made me remember.”

I clenched my hands tighter. Finger nails cutting welts into my palms. I hated hearing him sound so remote. Almost as if he was reciting an academic definition.

He must have felt so violated and dirty.

Physical scars healed, but those mental scars that he disguised so well…I was just beginning to fathom their depth.

“He forced me to remember everything.” Max’s haunted eyes clung to mine. “Evisceration hurts just as much in memory as it does in reality.”

“Evisceration?” I gasped in horror. A ripple of pain shot through my stomach.

Visibly shrugging off the terror and agony of that memory, he slipped on his mask of detachment.

“I don’t remember much of what happened after that. He kept screaming, tell me, tell me, where is it? But I couldn’t. I didn’t know. But he kept shouting. It was so loud. His power cut through me. Endlessly.”

“What,” I stumbled, “How did you…”

But he wasn’t listening. Time tilted on its axis and he fell between the gaps.

“I was with him for three days, I think.” He blinked dazedly. “The skins don’t like no for an answer. There was always someone there. If it wasn’t Nicholas then it was one of his subordinates. After a while, you stop saying anything because they don’t care. They don’t listen. They don’t stop.”

I tried to say something, anything but anguish paralyzed my vocal cords. I cursed myself for my dreams and my inexhaustible curiosity. I could have just let it go, asked him later at some other point in time. But I hadn’t.

And I would forever live with the guilt of my decision. It would be a long time before I forgot the horror of his memories.

“On the third day, they stopped. I remember there was some kind of an alarm, and they left me alone. They didn’t come back for me that day, or the day after. It took Isabelle some time to find me.”

He sighed deeply, exhaling in a long low breath. He looked at me through clear eyes.

“I didn’t want a repeat of Tess. Nicholas hitchhiking on our connection was infinitely more dangerous so I shut it off. But I couldn’t keep it up. Took too much effort and that’s how Is found me.”

“And Michael?” I asked, forcing the words through my dry throat.

“He told me later that all the skin husks were at the Copper Summit. When he destroyed the last set in the facility, he triggered their fail safe alarms. But it was too late then.”

“Too late? For what?”

“For Nicholas to do anything. Michael burned down the entire town including all the skin husks.”

Max leaned against the rock face and looked over the desert. “The only ones left are Nicholas and two of his deputies.”

***********

We were silent for a long time after that. Sitting side by side, Max and I looked out over the desert. It seemed so still and vast that the magnitude of our concerns was diminished. But still, I worried.

I worried about Max and everything he had endured. His stoic acceptance of destiny and loneliness tugged at my heart. He had experienced so much, witnessed so much more than I had ever imagined. I supposed underneath my concern for him was chagrin that he had protected me through all of it.

At what cost though?

But, wouldn’t I have done the same? Probably. If it meant sacrificing myself to protect him then I would have done it even without knowing him. I could hardly criticize him for a choice that I would have made as well. Still, the instinct for mutual protection hadn’t really gotten us anywhere; rather, it wasn’t a strategy that had served Max well. Not to mention, it had left me out of the loop and I had a sneaking suspicion, so were Isabelle and Michael.

But the question remained – what would we do now?

Looking over at his careworn profile, I heaved a sigh.

“I’ve depressed you,” he said quietly. It was a statement.

I couldn’t help but smile at his matter of factness. “Baby, depressing doesn’t even begin to cover it.”

He flushed a dark red. “It’s the second time you’ve done that.”

“What?” I asked quizzically, shifting to sit facing him.

“Called me baby.”

It was my turn to blush. I hadn’t even realized it. The unconscious endearment had slipped through. I was very much my mother’s daughter in that respect. We had a hard time expressing affection verbally. My father on the other hand, now, he knew more endearments than any one else in the world. It’s not a skill I shared. Funny, I always thought I was more like him than my mother.

I was silent for so long that Max hesitantly touched my arm to draw my attention.

“Sorry.” He delicately nuzzled my temple. “I didn’t mean to embarrass you.”

“You didn’t,” I murmured unconvincingly, tilting my head towards him.

“It,” he fumbled, “I like it.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.” He smiled. A soft shy, half tender smile.

And just like that the sun came out from behind the clouds. God, what the man could do to me with just an inflection, a flicker of expression, a smile, by being. I felt a wave of love rise through me so full and impossibly hard that it was a wonder I didn’t burst at the seams. My vision brightened to dazzling crystalline clarity and everything but Max’s beloved face faded from my sight. The tidal colors of love, desire, fear, regret, and guilt stormed through me shaking my foundations. I had known that I loved him deeply, but not like this. Never like this.

In that one moment I had an epiphany so strong that it would mark me for the rest of my life. I came up against the granite certainty that for this one man, I would do anything. Morals, civility, and the world be damned, I would do whatever it took to keep him safe and happy. I supposed, in other words I discovered that it wasn’t enough for me that he be content, no. He had to be utterly and completely happy. And I would make sure of that, by whatever means necessary. Even if it meant accepting a quest that I didn’t fully understand. Even if it meant learning that everything in my life was false.

Yes, even then. It would all work out in the end.

I believed.

[Tesseract]

Chapter 34


Sitting on top of the cliff, the warm rock behind my back and Max’s comforting weight to my side, I wondered how different things would have been if I had known him from the beginning.

Well, neither one of us would have felt alone growing up. I could imagine spending every waking moment with him and every sleeping moment dreaming of him. Just the thought of so much completeness and togetherness lost made me want to hit something.

But then, what would our parents have thought? How long before they began to wonder what it was that the two of us were hiding and I doubted that the idea of soul mates and love would have comforted them to any degree. In fact, I could almost foresee my mother having tremendous issues with it. And Daddy, well, I couldn’t even begin to imagine the strength of his reaction.

Sneaking a look at Max’s profile, I debated how I would have handled their concerns and fears.

As if sensing my gaze, he turned his head and met my eyes. My heart tripped.

No, I couldn’t imagine staying away from him. My parents would have had to deal with it.

“You’re scowling.” He traced imaginary lines on my forehead.

“I was thinking, how things would have turned out if we had known each other from the beginning.”

“Don’t.” His eyes darkened. “Don’t think about that. It’s better this way.”

Hurt flashed through me. “What do you mean? Are you happy that we spent so much of our time apart?”

“Yes. It’s better that than the alternative,” he replied firmly without looking away.

Dumbfounded, I stared at him. How could he say that? Wasn’t he angry at all the time that had been stolen from us? Didn’t he want to spend every second of every moment of his life with me? I did.

As if plucking my thoughts out of thin air, Max continued. “I want nothing more than to spend my life with you, wherever you go. I want to bind us so closely together that we are one person, but not at the cost of your life or your sanity.”

Running his hands through his hair, he resumed. “I can’t even imagine what I would have done, what would have happened if Tess had known about you. She hated us, Liz. She nearly killed Alex. For what? Some information he didn’t even have. Can you imagine what she would have done if she knew I loved you?”

Anguished eyes met mine. “I would have done anything to keep you safe, Liz. Given her anything, said anything. I give thanks daily that Nicholas didn’t know about you. He might have known about the idea of you but never the reality of you. Not ever. I gave him everything except that. If you had been around, if he had known about you….I,” his voice broke.

“Oh,” I breathed softly, shame twisting inside. I hadn’t thought of any of that. All I had lamented was the joy of knowing each other in school, of being young and normal, of doing what teenagers did. But he had never been young, never normal.

Max shuddered. Tentatively I put my hand on his arm. Without a sound, he tugged my hand and pulled me into his lap. Pressing my head against his shoulder he embraced me with his whole body.

“Can we just sit here and not talk?” he whispered, his breath warming my forehead before fading into the afternoon silence. “I just want to be with you. Is that ok?”

Curving one arm around his back, I rested my other hand on his heart. Its faint but steady thump comforting me immeasurably. He hadn’t had a moment’s rest since I found him. The strain of the past few days was, for once, evident on his face. And he looked tired, fatigued. Two things I didn’t associate with my lover.

“For as long as you like.” I pressed my mouth to his neck and savored the faint saltiness of his skin, the minute easing of tension.

********************

“Max.”

“Hmm.” He took a bite of his pizza slice.

After Max finished recounting his last meeting with Nicholas we had simply decided to not speak of anything related to aliens or mysteries of the universe, until we’d at least eaten.

Which we were doing now, at this hole-in-the-wall pizzeria we’d found in Clovis. Suspicious looking stains on the seats aside, as well as the waitress’s dubious interest, the pizza was great.

“Max.” I blew a cool breath on the scalding slice of pizza in front of me. “Can we talk now?”

Still focused on the food, he nodded his assent.

“The first thing we need to do, before we move forward, is to make a list of everything that we know.”

Grabbing a napkin from the pile between us, I started writing.

“Now this list is going to be about, everything that relates to…Czechs.”

“Czechs?” Max raised an intrigued eyebrow.

Flushing a little, I replied, “Yeah, you know Czechs…people from up…north.”

Smiling he added, “I see.”

“Anyway,” I brushed the thought aside and started on my list. “So we have the chamber, the pods, your being found in the desert, powers, Tess, New York and the five star alliance, meeting with Nicholas, and Copper Summit. Did I leave anything out?”

He thought for a moment then said, “Well, what about your grandmother’s connection?”

“Oh, right. But would it go in here?” I frowned.

“Why not?”

“Well, this is a list of information that we have, or contacts that have been made.”

“Claudia was a contact,” Max insisted. “In fact, we don’t even know what your involvement would have been if it hadn’t been for her.”

“Yes, I see.” I completed the list by adding nana’s name to it. “I was thinking that the problem so far has been a lack of information. To solve that we need to figure out who knows what and how much. What do you think?”

“Makes sense.” He poured out a glass of cherry coke from the pitcher in front of us. “Does this mean you want to talk to Maria and Alex?”

“I…”I began then stopped, suddenly aware of the treacherous ground I found myself on.

“I think we should hold off on that.” I hesitated before looking at him.

“How long?” he asked unhurriedly. “If you want to wait then we need to figure out when to talk to them. Do you want to talk to them after we’ve talked to River Dog and your parents?”

“What does that have to do with anything?” I snapped, aware of the silliness of my comment, but defensiveness wouldn’t let me take it back.

Max held my hand. I tried pulling away, unsuccessfully. “River Dog and your past are tied to this Liz. You’ve dreamt about him and this mystery key we’re searching for. It’s all tied to you.”

I could feel my pulse picking up and my heart starting to beat erratically in my chest. I didn’t want to deal with it. I didn’t want to deal with a mysterious past, I didn’t want to find out about my destiny, but most of all….most of all I didn’t want to talk to my parents again after all the hurtful and hateful things I’d said to them.

“Max.”

“You are involved.”

When I simply shook my head mutinously, he spoke gently. “Do you think it was easy for me to tell you everything? Do you think I didn’t struggle with this decision that I didn’t want to hide these things from you…the failures, the betrayals?”

“No, that’s—,”

“It isn’t different.” he stated, cutting off my escape route. “The only possible way it can be different is because they happened to me and not to you. You keep telling me that we’re partners. We should share our burdens. That together we can do anything but when it comes to you the rules change.”

“No, Max,” I gasped, horrified that he would think that, feel that. If it had just been anger in his eyes I would have responded in kind, but it wasn’t. There was hurt there as well.

“We won’t get anywhere if you keep hiding Liz.” He let go of my hand, and all of a sudden I felt cold.

“You have to trust me. If you can’t trust me then we might as well be alone.”

“No,” I shouted, ignoring the curious looks we were getting from nearby tables. “No, don’t say that. I do. I trust you, I do. It’s just…”

Patiently he waited for me to finish.

“I’m afraid,” I whimpered. “I’m afraid that everything will change again. That I won’t be in control anymore. I don’t want things to change Max. Not so soon. Not again.”

He exhaled a low weary sound and leaned across the table to hold my hand. “We’ll work it out together.”

It wasn’t the most comforting he’d ever said to me, but I was reassured.

“Ok,” I answered straightening my shoulders. “Ok, let’s go talk to River Dog tomorrow and then tell Maria and Alex afterwards.”

Cradling my hand against his cheek, he added, “We’re all on the same side, Liz. Alex, Maria, Michael, Isabelle and I.”

“And what side would that be?”

Our heads snapped up simultaneously and we met Isabelle’s cool gaze.

Max recovered first. Rising to his feet smoothly, he said, “Hi, Isabelle.”

She looked at him speculatively for a moment before addressing me. “What were you talking about?”

“I…we,” I flushed.

“We were just talking about how Mr. and Mrs. Parker would react when Liz told them she’d be staying on…indefinitely,” Max completed without pause.

“You aren’t going back?” she asked me, ignoring Max.

“No, not yet,” I replied steadily.

There was nothing to be afraid of. It was only Isabelle, who I knew so much about already and who was my lover’s sister. We could be friends. Not to mention, I felt not a little bit of sympathy towards her.

“Can I talk to you for a minute, Max?” She looked at me once again then added, “Alone.”

Ok, then, nix the friendship idea.

“Whatever you want to say, can be said in front of Liz. Why don’t you sit?” Max offered before sitting down.

“No, it’s private.” She slid me a blank smile. “No offense Liz.”

I began to agree with her only to be swamped by a strong sense of dejavu.

And in the ensuing pause Max said clearly, “She knows, Isabelle.”

I have to give Isabelle credit. She didn’t flinch even once, or give it away by the flicker of an eyelash.

“I’m sorry…knows what?” Her light laugh rang out. “What are you talking about, Max?”

Undeterred, he forged ahead. “I told her everything about us.”

“What?” Her voice was dangerously quiet.

“I told her about the pod chamber and Tess. About Nicholas.”

Isabelle flinched. “Excuse me?” Twin spots of color blazed on her cheekbones. She forestalled his response by slicing her hand through the air. “How dare you?” she spat. “How dare you tell our secrets, discuss our lives with a complete stranger?”

“She’s not a stranger.” I nearly missed his quiet response to Isabelle’s escalating anger.

“What the hell were you thinking, Max? You’ve put us all at risk by your stupid behavior, and I won’t stand for it. I won’t have you making unilateral decisions. Do you remember what happened, the last two times someone found out about us? Or the last time you thought with your hormones? For God’s sake Max, she’s not even beautiful.”

“Hey!” Scalded, I cried out.

“That’s enough Isabelle,” his voice sliced through burgeoning resentment and tension.

“I don’t….”

“I’m not interested and I remember everything,” he snapped out leaving her gaping at him, while I tried to disappear into the woodwork. “We’ll discuss this at home. I’ll see you this evening.”

Furious with him and me, she whipped away but not before snapping, “Fine. We’ll just see what Michael has to say about this.”

“I think the timetable got upped,” I observed quietly as he leaned back in his seat.

“I’m sorry,” he sighed.

It occurred to me, he must spend a lot of time apologizing for his siblings. Well, maybe not siblings but Isabelle. From what I’d seen of her, she didn’t seem the type who apologized on a regular basis.

“It’s ok.” I held his hand in mine, and felt his thumping heated pulse. “I want Maria and Alex to be there.”

He opened his eyes, surprise evident on his features. “Are you sure?”

It was time to make some tough decisions. Start as you mean to go on, my mother had taught me. Draw your line in the cold sand and take a position.

I was ready to take mine. “Positive.”

********************

[Tesseract]

Much thanks to all of you for waiting so patiently...does my heart good! Thanks to my fabulous beta for keeping me on track and motivated.
I've started writing the next chapter, so who knows, it might be less than a month this time...


Chapter 35


“Alex is on his way. Were you able to track down Maria?” I asked Max, as he walked into the room, pocketing his cell phone.

He pinched the bridge of his nose, “Michael said he’d bring her with him. They were having a meeting of some sort.”

“Oh,” I nodded, sliding back into the sofa cushions.

After lunch, Max and I had hurried home to call everyone. Rushing around had kept my doubts at bay. But now, now that all we had to do was wait...they came back with a vengeance.

Max broke through my whirling thoughts, as he sat down next to me.

“How are you holding up?” he asked gently.

“Fine.” I blinked. “Ok, I guess. I mean, Alex knows that I know and you know. Michael probably knows that I know, but not Alex and Maria. And Maria…” I trailed off.

“Are you worried about her reaction?” He pulled me into his arms, until we were both reclining on the sofa. His hands stroked down my arms once, before resting on my stomach.

“Aren’t you?” I turned around to face him.

He remained silent.

“Max?” I pressed.

Brushing a soft kiss on my temple, he said, “This has been a long time in the coming. She’s been my friend for so long that I’ve been feeling guilty for hiding who I am from her.”

“She knows who you are, Max,” I chided. “This is just a small part of you. She knows who you are. This doesn’t change anything.”

Amused by my vehemence, he quirked an eyebrow undoubtedly remembering my less than stellar reaction.

I could feel myself blushing. “Aren’t you ever going to let me live that down?” I asked plaintively.

“Depends.”

“On what?” I said curiously.

“On whether or not you want to make out,” he leered comically. A laugh crinkled his eyes.

Before I could choose between smacking or jumping him, a dry voice interrupted.

“Maxwell, you romantic fool!”

Whipping my head around, I met Michael’s mild hazel gaze. The glint of amusement disappeared from his eyes so quickly that I was almost sure I’d imagined it. Still relaxed, Max merely tightened his hold on me as I squirmed to sit up.

“You could try knocking,” he retorted without heat.

A short bark of laughter escaped from Michael, before he sauntered over to an armchair and made himself comfortable.

“Yeah, I could. But then I would have missed that classic moment of romance. This way I can reassure ma that her soft poetic son does indeed suffer from raging hormones and,” a quick but searching glance in my direction, “all evidence to the contrary, is strictly heterosexual.”

Embarrassed by the outrageous conversation, I flushed and inwardly cursed a skin tone that wasn’t dark enough to hide the red in my cheeks. God, they acted like such bratty siblings.

“You shouldn’t mind Michael, Liz,” Max said clasping my hand in his when I would have pulled away. “As a younger, more immature sibling he hasn’t graduated beyond personal comments.”

Disconcerted by the sheer normality of the conversation and Michael’s lack of surprise at Max and my intimacy, I stiffened even further.

“Where is Maria?” I asked abruptly.

If Michael noticed anything unusual about my tone, he didn’t give any indication of it.

“She forgot something in the car. She’ll be right back.” He was silent for a long moment. A frown creased his brow, before he said clearly, “Izzy called me.”

Max didn’t say anything.

“She was ranting about you. Again.” He cast a swift penetrating glance in my direction, before adding, “You want to throw me a bone here, or am I getting into this blind?”

“You know what I’m going to say, Michael. I’ve told Liz,” Max said clearly.

“Told Liz,” Michael repeated without inflection. “Told Liz what? You want to get less cryptic Captain Mysterio?”

I shifted restlessly as Max’s unsettled emotions flickered just beyond me. “You know what I mean. Besides, there have been some developments.”

I flashed Max a curious look.

Developments? He hadn’t told me anything about developments.

“It’s about Claudia,” he gripped my hand harder, “and the letter she left for me.”

The letter! I’d completely forgotten about the codicil and the terms of nana’s will. Developments, indeed. Surprisingly, I wasn’t as freaked out as I’d thought I would be. I guess because at this point it was a foregone decision that this was something that I would do.

It was too late to back out, now.

Something must have shown on my face, because Max instantly said, “There is always a choice. You don’t have to do anything.”

A wave of love tempered by sorrow rose in me. “There isn’t a choice for me, Max. Not anymore,” I added when he looked like he was going to interrupt.

I met his gaze and saw emotions deepen and ripple in those mesmerizing amber pools. His sincerity was evident. Even now, at this late stage, he would let me leave and he would face whatever was coming alone.

“It’s not because I don’t trust you or think you aren’t capable,” he said urgently, “it’s because I can’t see you hurt, Liz. Not if it’s something I can protect you from.”

“You can’t protect me from everything, Max,” I replied cupping his cheek in my hand. “Partners remember?”

His sweet breath warmed my face for a second, and his emotions fell into sharp focus. I felt him reach out and draw me in close…closer…

“I swear you guys should star in your own little romance novel or something!” Maria cracked loudly and my attention faltered. The moment broke.

“Have you ever seen something so sickeningly sweet? It just makes my heart flutter!” Unaware of her disruption, Maria continued gaily.

Michael snorted just as Max and I sprang apart guiltily.

“What?” She whirled around to face Michael. “Would the world’s only living heart donor like to say something?”

“Now Maria, if I’ve said it once I’ve said it a million times. Verbal abuse really isn’t a turn on. Although,” Michael looked her over insolently, “feisty, I like.”

Ignoring the two of us for the moment she cocked her head to the side and asked mildly, “Is that your idea of charm? Has some misbegotten attention-starved female actually fallen for that attitude?”

“A legion,” he shot back. “You really don’t know what you’re missing out on.”

“Yeah well, thanks but no thanks.” Shuddering dramatically, she turned and threw me a bright smile. “If I ever get that stupid or desperate I’m sure Liz or Alex will smack some sense into me.”

“Maria!” I gasped horrified at her rudeness, while Max simply chuckled.

“What, it’s the truth,” Maria retorted sitting next to me, as I sank even further into Max’s embrace.

“Really, Max,” she continued combing her fingers through windblown hair, “I think you should inform Mr. Stud here that his version of suave really isn’t all that suave. It needs just a teeny tiny bit of work!”

“Ooh,” Max grinned. “And that ladies and gentlemen was a direct hit. I announce Ms. Deluca as the winner of this evening’s rapid fire round.”

“You’re such a dork, Maxwell,” Michael grimaced, not looking affected or put out by Maria’s comments. Apparently trading insults was routine for them. It hinted at a level of familiarity and comfort that I hadn’t realized existed between them. It was something to keep in mind…for later.

“The party’s started without me?” Alex joked, leaning on the door jamb. “What’s the score, Max? Hey, Michael!”

Wryly, Max said, “Deluca 2, Evans 1.”

“Tsk, tsk,” Alex sighed sympathetically, grabbing a chair. “You’ve really got to work on those verbal skills, man. How many years has it been now?”

“Sometimes it feels like a lifetime,” the man in question muttered.

“What was that, Michael?” Alex asked slyly. “Maria, I think Michael just admitted defeat!”

“Oh, I’ve always known he was a loser!” Maria tossed back without missing a beat and we burst out laughing.

“A family reunion. How sweet!” Isabelle’s cold voice cut through the laughter like a laser.

Underneath my palm, Max stiffened almost imperceptibly then relaxed just as swiftly.

“Iz! We were just waiting for you,” Max called out.

Isabelle rolled her eyes before addressing Michael, “Can I talk to you?” She cast a look around the room, before adding, “Alone.”

Max and Michael’s eyes met across the room. They conferred silently for a moment just as Isabelle prompted, “Michael?”

“Yeah, ok,” he replied following her towards the kitchen, while Alex, Maria and I stared at each other and the carpet in silence.

“Brrr!” Maria shivered. “Did the temperature just drop ten degrees?”

Alex and I avoided looking at her. The moment had come and I felt incapable of dealing with it. Words escaped me.

“Guys?” Maria repeated alertly her tone sharper than before. “Max!”

Worried by Max’s silence and the concern etched on Maria’s face, I stumbled to fill in the pause. “Maria, you know how I told you that nana knew about Max? That she’d mentioned him in the letter?”

“Yeah,” she replied.

“Well, ummm…” I elbowed Max surreptitiously before saying, “did I tell you that she wrote him a letter as well?”

“No, but that’s good news right?” She questioned. “I mean, now we can read the letters together and sort out your vision quest, or whatever.”

“Yeah, yeah,” I agreed nervously. “About the letters…”

“Did you ever wonder how grandma Claudia knew about Max?” Alex chimed in, abandoning his scrutiny of Max.

“Well, he did work with her. Maybe she thought that he’d suit Lizzie really well. Since they are soul mates and all,” she concluded impishly.

“Maybe,” Alex tried again. “But how did she know about his…connection to Liz?”

“I don’t know. Maybe a little birdie told her,” she snapped losing patience. “What is with the twenty questions? What are you getting at? Spit it out already!”

“He…”

“Max…”

Alex and I began simultaneously, only to be brought short by Max’s pronouncement.

“They’re trying to tell you that I’m an alien.”

“Don’t be silly. You’re a citizen!”

Max leaned forward and held his hand over the pile of magazine on the table. Stock still, we watched as the stack rose and floated in the air for one endless moment, before fanning out across the surface of the table.

I gasped, just as Alex said, “That is so cool.”

And Maria fainted in my lap.

“He has made his position clear, Izzy. You’ve known he was going to do tell Liz, so why are we still arguing about it?” Michael’s swift re-entrance stopped short at the sight of Maria lying on the couch.

“But…” Isabelle argued mutinously only to be silenced by a negligent wave of his hand.

Doggedly cheerful, Alex observed brightly, “I think I think we just had the first meeting of the I-know-an-alien-club!”

[Tesseract]

Hey!
I tripping on the fact that the wait on this one wasn't too long! :lol Anyway, I'll have try to have something in time for the new year. But in any event, felicitations and 'enjoy!' to those who celebrate the season.


Chapter 36


“Maria! Maria, c’mon wake up!” I stroked her cheek gently.

Hope and dread collided within me. I couldn’t help but remember my own reaction to Max’s revelation. As long as I lived, I would regret it. But that was neither here nor there. The fact was, if I reacted like that then…

...then how would Maria react?

I couldn’t bear it if Max was hurt.

“Move aside, Lizzie.” Alex lightly moved me aside.

Alex gently trailed his fingers down her jaw. He patted her pale cheek once, then again.

Eyelashes fluttering, Maria blinked up hazily into Alex and my anxious faces.

“Wh…what happened?” she mumbled, pressing a hand to her forehead.

“You fainted,” Alex said helpfully.

I nudged him sharply, when he grinned unrepentantly and someone behind me choked back a suspicious sounding cough.

“What’s so funny, Don Juan?” Maria demanded of someone past my shoulder.

I turned my head only to bump into a looming Michael.

“What isn’t funny, Blondie?” he asked, amused.

Not a trace of annoyance shadowed his face unlike Isabelle who visibly seethed.

“Michael! Max!” she snapped loudly and Maria flinched. “See? I told you. We need to leave. Now.”

Standing beside me, Alex stiffened before turning to pierce Isabelle with his laser sharp blue eyes.

Undeterred by the horror and shock spreading across our faces, she continued, “Didn’t I tell you this was a bad idea? Look at them,” she raged, “puppy love and super geek aside, the last thing we need is a blabber mouth on our hands.”

“Hey!” Alex retorted sharply, hackles rising just as Maria rose up and said smartly, “What crawled up your ass and died?”

Michael snorted.

“I mean,” she continued innocently, “aside from the collection you already have up there.”

Atta girl! I thought proudly. That was the Maria I knew and loved. Never one to be stay down or let her friends be put down for long.

“This is ridiculous,” Max muttered underneath his breath.

“Mmm,” I nodded slightly, my attention on Isabelle and the hostility and fear emanating from her.

“I,”

“Am I interrupting you, Max?” Isabelle said icily ignoring Maria like she would an annoying fly.

“Wait,” I thought to him. “Just wait for a minute.”

Like a heat seeking missile, Isabelle focused all her attention on Max. If he were a lesser man, I think the heat of her anger would have incinerated him on the spot. Swept up in the emotions battering against his iron control, I felt more than saw his tension, his discomfort over this scene.

“Oh baby,” I thought gently only to be silenced by the mute fury rising within him. Sparks of gold and flame flared around him.

“Lizzie?” That was Maria. Maria was calling me. I needed to explain things to her. To help her.

But how could I leave Max, when we were so closely intertwined? I don’t think he even realised his stranglehold on our connection, as it pulsed, pounded and sped up.

Breathing through my mouth, I eased away from him physically just as his grip on our connection tightened.

And still the silence between he, Michael and Isabelle swelled. Like a storm brewing in a glass jar.

Senses attuned to him, I laid a hand on Maria’s shoulder where she sat on the sofa cradled against Alex.

“Max, Michael and Isabelle are aliens. They are from a planet called Antar. Their ship crashed here in 1947. They were in incubation pods, until they came out as 5 year olds.”

I paused for a breath, feeling the heat in the room rise.

Maria gripped my hand, forcing my attention on her and when my eyes met hers we were caught, caught in a moment laden with possibilities, saturated with endings and beginnings, friendship and betrayal.

And then she smiled.

Tremulous. Heartbreaking. Its edges quivered uncertainly before she whispered, “You always did love the stars.”

“Oh Maria,” I sighed, pressing my forehead into her cloud of hair for a second before straightening, feeling Max come up beside me.

“Which doesn’t mean I get any of this crap!” she said abruptly. “Or the fact that you didn’t trust me, Max?”

“Maria, we…” he started in a slow laboured voice, “I’ve wanted to tell you for so long. I was…I’m so sorry. It’s just,”

“Put a sock in it Maxwell,” Michael interjected brutally, taking the moment to step between Max and Isabelle, so that she had to step back.

“You’re sorry, I’m sorry, we’re all sorry. She gets it. Don’t you Blondie?” His voice warmed.

Maria just glared at him, as Alex snorted, “And, Mr. Sensitivity saves the day…again!”

Taking his cue Max squeezed in next to Maria, and said, “Friends?”

She huffed. “Girlfriend, you’re damn lucky I’m so forgiving!”

“I know,” he murmured, as they hugged.

“But you need to tell me the whole story and the next time you hide shit from me, your ass is grass, got it?” she said without heat, smacking his shoulder.

Smiling inwardly, I felt the last but one clutch of tension ease its hold on me. Raising a hand to my face, I rubbed away beads from my forehead. I was beginning to feel unpleasantly warm.

Ignoring the discomfort, I focused my attention on Isabelle.

Max’s sister stood across the way from where Max, Alex and Maria were sitting on the couch. I glanced at them quickly to make sure they were occupied only to collide with Michael’s stern profile.

Slouching, he stood with his hands shoved in his pockets. But I could feel his attention on Isabelle. I couldn’t help noticing, how he and I stood on either side of Maria, Alex and Max silently facing off with Isabelle.

She was silent for so long that I began to think maybe she had reconciled herself to our knowledge. Maybe she realised that we wouldn’t hurt her. That for all her abrasiveness we would never turn on her because she was important to Max. Even Michael.

Feeling slightly more at ease, my attention faltered only to brace…

“Michael! Max!” she shrieked.

Saliva dried in my mouth.

Sweat pooled between my shoulder blades.

Heat trailed across my stomach.

“This isn’t fucking funny. I can’t believe the two of you are behaving so irresponsibly! How dare,”

“Stop!” I cracked out. The last tether on my temper snapped. All of Max and my combined emotions swirled recklessly inside me. A miasma of grey shot with embers of red. Rage propelled me forward so that I stood facing her.

Just looking at her sneering face, at the thoughts I could see roiling inside her made my skin burn hotter than ever. I felt like I would explode.

“What is your problem?” I demanded, eyes firmly locked on hers. “What are you afraid of? That is what this is. Isn’t it? Or maybe you’re actually a closet xenophobic. Is that what it is, princess? You like the human body but can’t deal with the substandard emotions? No, I think that’s giving you too much credit. This is about fear. About rejection. About being alone. About being left out of your brothers’ lives. This is about YOU!”

Her eyes flickered away from mine.

And a switch clicked on in my head

Raging red light screamed through my brain until all my thoughts and emotions honed to a fine point and skewered her.

“Look at me when I’m talking to you!” I hissed, stepping in her line of vision, as she stepped back and fell into the chair. One step, then another had me leaning down over her.

Blocking her vision.

Cutting off her means of escape.

Hunting her.

“I have a newsflash for you, princess,” I snarled as she shrank back into the chair. “You aren’t the only one who is afraid, who has something to lose.”

Heat blazed through me. Twin spots of colour burned on my cheeks.

“Look around you. We are all afraid. Each and every one of us. Do you think Max and Michael aren’t afraid? You think it was easy for them to spill their guts after years of hiding, of pretending? Do you think you are the only one afraid of making a mistake, of betrayal, of being strung out again? Huh? TELL ME, GODDAMMIT!”

An inferno sparked within me.

Temperature climbed.

Until I thought I was melting.

And still, the room burned with a stifling silence.

Anger coursed through my veins. Blood pounded in my ears, louder and louder until it was the only thing I could hear.

I was heat.

I was light.

Fire, melting, growing, blazing, brighter, consuming, incinerating.

My hands shook and I clenched them desperately. Containing the energy, roiling, seething.

Isabelle twitched. A tell tale flinch of shame.

“I can’t believe it!” I gasped on a hot breath. “You self-absorbed bitch!”

“Hey,” Michael exclaimed loudly. His voice seeped in through the maddening buzzing in my ears.

“Watch it, Parker,” he growled. “That’s my sister you’re talking to.”

“Yeah, well it’s my lover’s life she’s fucking up. My life she’s destroying,” I snarled back, flaying Isabelle with my eyes.

My shirt grew damp. Wisps of hair clung to my forehead. But I ignored all of it.

Consumed by anger, all I could see was the red haze, Isabelle’s face in my sights.

“Liz.”

Someone edged close to me. A hand span away.

Don’t touch me.

The hand fell away.

Good.

Keep away.

I clenched my trembling muscles against the avalanche of heat burning within and without.

“Liz.” The voice called again.

Max. My Max was calling me. The errant thought flickered in my head, before turning to ash.

Ignored.

Forgotten.

Energy throbbed inside me.

The blue kernel of heat at its centre swelled and pulsated as my body heated one agonising degree at a time. I felt like I was…

“Liz, you’re burning up!” That was Max. Alarmed.

…a crimson wave undulated inside me…

“Alex, some water.”

…greedily licked forward before…

“Liz!”

…drowning…flames…cool…Max…touch…and I blinked back into awareness.

“What happened?” I rasped, squinting away from Isabelle, plucking at my damp t-shirt.

Max cupped my elbow and I almost flinched at the coolness of his hand against my fevered skin.

“Max?” I mumbled, before being distracted by the heat. “Why is it so hot?”

“I think the heat was too much for you,” Max replied, pitching his voice low.

“Uhuh,” I grunted, collapsing on the sofa, missing Maria narrowly.

“How are you feeling chica?” she asked, smoothing what could only be wet tendrils of hair away from my face.

“Like I was in a sweat lodge.” I wrinkled my nose at the thought of my appearance. Ugh. I must look a sight.

“You look beautiful.” Max smiled, pushing a glass of water in my hands. “Damp hair and all.”

Softly, like the merest whisper of a breath, he brushed his cool lips against my forehead and the effect was instantaneous. I felt so much better. His kisses were even better than the iced water I was gulping down. Putting the glass down, I turned my face towards him slightly and he repeated the caress. Mmmm. I hummed a low contented sound, more than ready to curl up in his lap.

“Lover, huh?” Michael said, shattering my illusion of privacy.

Stunned by the interruption and the comment, I stammered, “Lover?”

“You and Maxwell,” he persisted. “It’s a little late to be coy, Parker. Or don’t you remember what you said in the heat of the moment?” He smirked.

“Michael,” Alex said sternly. “Stop.”

“I did?” I said, horrified.

What could have possessed me to say something like that, something so private? And that too, without discussing it with Max first?

Some of my discomfort must have communicated itself because Max hugged me closer to him, no hint of recrimination in sight.

Meanwhile, Alex said calmly, “It’s ok Lizzie. You’ve been under a lot of stress.” He paused for a second, before glancing at Isabelle meaningfully and adding, “We don’t begrudge you your happiness. You deserve it. Anyone who says otherwise can go to hell.”

“Umm, Alex?” I said uncertainly, taken aback by his vehemence and anger. Alex wasn’t like that. He didn’t get angry or mean. It took a lot to push his buttons. But at that point, he was, well for Alex, livid.

“Alex told me about your connection with Max,” Maria interjected hurriedly when Alex didn’t reply.

“He did?” I blinked dazedly trying to keep track of the conversation.

“Yep,” Maria said cheerily. “I know all about the blond devil whore and the BIG fuckup and what’s going on with you guys now,” she ticked off the topics one by one.

“That was quick,” I replied, wondering about Alex’s editing skills. Talk about giving concise information. “So, you’re ok with it? With everything, I mean?” I asked again wanting reassurance.

“Oh babe, totally ok.” She squeezed my arm comfortingly. “Now, if only Ms. Bitch would get with the program we can actually,” she stopped abruptly. Her jaw clicking shut.

Her sudden silence made sense a second later, when Isabelle asked, “What do you guys plan on doing now?”

She sounded quite meek.

Wait, meek? Isabelle? Meek? What!

An unnamed emotion coiled inside me fiercely and I snapped before I could stop myself, “About what?”

Max stiffened. His arms grew tighter around me until I felt myself melting into his side.

The reaction fanned my irritation even higher. She made him tentative, uncertain. I wouldn’t let her get away with it. There was no chance in hell I’d let him doubt us just because his sister was stupid.

He must have heard my thoughts because the next minute he said acerbically, “What are you asking, Isabelle? Because not five minutes ago, you were quite vehemently opposed to everything Liz and I had to say.”

Something about his tone helped me rein in my anger. Maybe it was the suppressed anger or the despair that no matter what he did he would have to choose between us that forced me to take a step back.

“Max,” I began gently only to have him cut me off.

“What Liz? You know as well as I do, she won’t listen. She never listens. And I’m fed up. I won’t have her disrespect you. If she wants to be my sister, if she wants to be in my life then she has to accept you!”

“What about you Max?” I asked when he did mention his own needs in that litany.

“What about me?”

“Baby, what do you need?” I reiterated, prodding him to be honest with himself. I didn’t want him to resent not having a choice. He needed to know I would side with him. That was all that mattered. In the end, I would always be on his side.

“I need her to stop treating me like a moron,” he ranted. “I need her to listen to what I want. And I need her to respect you, Liz.” He sighed. “It doesn’t matter if she doesn’t love you. It doesn’t matter if she doesn’t like you but she MUST respect my choices and you.”

“She’s your sister Max,” I said, sympathising with his untenable position. “Of course she respects you. She LOVES you.”

Ignoring his snort of disbelief, I continued determinedly, “Look, just give her some time. It’s all up to her now, isn’t it? We’ve done what we could. Let’s just let it go for now.”

“Fine. Whatever,” he replied, drained of anger. “How’s your headache?” he asked abruptly.

Startled by his reference, I felt the faint thudding of pain in the nape of my neck. Great. I could feel a headache the size of Kansas brewing behind my eyelids.

“It’s going to be a doozy,” I said wryly. “Yelling always makes my head hurt.”

“You’re scary when you’re pissed,” he smiled slightly before sobering. “Let me send this lot away and then you should take a bath and a nap before we have a late dinner.”

“Sounds lovely,” I sighed. “Are you going to play hooky with me this evening, Mr. Evans?” I teased.

“Oh, I’m there.” He grinned before saying out loud, “It’s been a long time and we’ve discussed a lot of stuff. Since Liz and I are tired and tempers are short why don’t we postpone the rest of this conversation until tomorrow, or whenever? So,” he straightened, “since everyone now knows the story to date, we’ll sort the rest out later.”

“Sounds good,” Alex quipped before brushing a quick kiss on my forehead. “Ria you still coming to dinner right?”

“Yeah,” she said. “If it’s free food I’m there.”

“You guys going out?” I asked, gingerly standing up.

“Couple of people from college are in town, and they wanted to meet up. Ria agreed to go as my date,” Alex replied.

“Oh,” I nodded. “Have fun, you guys.”

“See you tomorrow, chica. Girlfriend.” Maria hugged me once before sailing out the door with Alex.

“I’ll see you around, Max,” Michael drawled. “Liz.”

“Michael,” I said calmly.

He smiled to himself, as if mentally confirming something and said, “Night.”

“I’ll wait for you outside Isabelle.” He called out over his shoulder to his white-faced silent sister.

“Max,”

He stood silently, his attention fixed on her.

“I. I’m – I’m so,” she blanched.

A part of me felt bad for her. It was a tough spot to be in. While another smaller, more vindictive part just wanted her to leave.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Isabelle,” Max said, his voice assuming its customary quietness.

Whirling on her heel, she left the room. A choked sob lingered in the air behind her.

***********

As the baking desert sand expelled its heat into the night air, the Sentinel glowed a fiery orange one final time before subsiding to its luminous ebony.

She had called out.

Today.

For the first time she had called out, albeit unwittingly. But the Sentinel had responded. It had been waiting for her signature for so long, and today, finally, she had sparked and tapped into only a fraction of all that was at her disposal.

Oh, she was glorious. Radiant. A creature of earth and sky. Fire and water. A perfect emanation of all the elements. There was no other like her. She was the one.

The time was coming when she would know.

She would learn.

She would accept.

And the Sentinel would give her all.

[Tesseract]

Sigh....I won't insult any of you by even begining to apologise.

I've become my own worst nightmare!

First off, no I have not forgotten about this fic. FTR is my baby. It is actually one of the first pieces of fiction I ever wrote and am still in the process of writing. I started it before I was ever brave enough to inflict my writing on other people.

Secondly, FTR will not be discontinued. In fact, I have a substantial amount of it written. There is still a lot more of it to come.

Thirdly, I am currently taking my law bar exams. It was foolish of me and unfair to you to think that I could handle regular updating with my non-existent free time. In any event, excuses aside, the exams should be finished by June 20th and after that I will be back on my bi-monthly updating schedule.

....Now all I need to do is hunt down my beta -- Tas? Yo Tas? You still out there...

Anyway, thank you for the enquiries and the support, I do appreciate it. More than words can say.

T'act