True Confession Of Best...(AU,M/L,Adult,)A/N 1/20/07 [WIP]

[mmcherron]

Thank you DramastarOF06 for the wonderful banners!!!

Title: True Confession of Best Friends

Author:Lissalou72(mmcherron)


Rating: Adult

Summary: Liz has a hard life and finds comfort in the arms of a friend.I also want to put there is going to be Violence and sexual situations in here I'm sorry. but this first chapter is bad. It won't be like that on every chapter I promise.

Couples: Max and Liz this is AU fic. CC couples too.


Disclaimer: I don't own Roswell or the character from the show so please don't try to sue me because I really don't have anything for you.

Authors note: Everyone this is my first time posting ever. So please be very nice on feedback. If you really dislike it or have a problem please fill free to pm me. I have never written Adult before so if it sucks I'm very sorry. I have been told that this kind of sounds like a fic called Broken wing or something. I can tell you that it is in no way like that fic maybe a little in the beginning so please don't get mad. I never read it before. I hope you enjoy this. It is going to tug at your heart.




I don't want to forget to thank my Betas for all their hard work. You Ladies are you best thank you(Babylisou, Dreaming In Purple, Strawberhy Shortcake) I also want to thank everyone who made me feel like I could do this.




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August 2004

Oh god! I think the flesh of my back is embedded into the door as he continues to slam into me. I have never felt this way before. I can feel him slide in and out of me.
I want to scream, yell.


“Please Max…!” I feel on fire, nothing has ever felt so good before, and I can’t get him deep enough, fast enough.


“Max please I need you...”


He doesn’t take much time to answer my demand and carries me deeper into the room; leaning forward, his arm swiped over the dining table and papers fly around us and onto the ground. He swiftly sits me down onto the table facing him and slides between my thighs once more.


I can feel his pulsating member hardening inside me, and I throw my head back screaming for more. My nails scrapped the tender skin of his back, his grunting sounds making me want to come right now and there. I open my legs even wider forcing him to plunge deeper and deeper into me.


I let out a demanding moan as I thrust my chest forward. He captures one of my hardened nipples into his mouth sucking with such force I could swear he was going to rip it off. I feel my head spinning on the verge of letting go, and I know he’s not far.



My fingers tangle through his hair, my grip tightening to hold him in place. It feels like I’m flying, like the world around me started spinning uncontrollably, as his teeth brushes against my breast.


I fall back on to the table pulling him down with me. I claw deep into his skin and the next minute I find myself screaming his name. I can feel his sweat dripping between our gyrating bodies.


I can’t talk, the only sounds escaping my lips are the moans matching his, but when I pushed against his shoulder he slides off me and flips me over with one easy motion like he could guess what I want at this very moment. And what I want is control.


All through this moment we never lose contact. I wish for a second he would stay here forever, buried deep inside me, my warmth surrounding him.


But I can’t stay unmoving too long, as I feel his own body reclaim what it desperately needs as he started moving under me. I match his movements, sliding up and down his sweaty chest, my hands glued to his hard muscles. Under my palm I can feel them contracting forcefully and it does nothing accept increase the pleasure I feel at that moment. I arch my back moving my hips, sending him deeper into me. I can hear him moaning throatily and chanting my name pleadingly. This just makes me want him even more.



He grabs my hips, helping me to keep up with each of his strong thrusts. I can feel my walls tightening around him and the hissing sound coming from him indicate he’s on the edge.
I scream desperately. It’s there, right there. Like a sinking feeling pulling you deeper. If only I could reach this place that sounds so attractive. Feeling my despair, he reaches between our bodies sending me over at the same time as him......





2 years earlier…

Have you ever had a moment in your life when you thought you were in love and nothing could break that up? When you were so happy nothing else seemed to matter?


I used to think that way, but I was rudely awoken. I've been slapped right in the face at too young an age. Don't get me wrong, Love is great, but I now know that the reality of the world doesn't allow soul mates. They are dreams, fantasies, and a figment of every young girl's imagination.


I never had to blame my hard childhood. I never even knew that a step dad wasn't supposed to touch you the way mine did. I thought all of my sisters were going through the same treatment: living hell under the roughness of his hands.


But the truth is, it has always been me… Only me... My older sister was old enough to avoid that painful childhood and was already out of the house before his tantrums could reach her ears. My younger sister was his daughter, the only one he ever loved. I was never envious, she had nothing to do with all the crap he put me through, and if I had had to receive twice the pain I feel just to protect her, I would have done it without a second thought. But the question remained: Why me?



One thing is for sure, if there was something out of place, wherever he was, wherever I was, at home, at school, I would pay for it, no matter what it was no matter the reason, it never failed.


When finally I was able to breathe, for an instant, a minute, I had such low self-esteem I never went very far. Back then I truly thought everyone was treated that same way I was in a really family, so why couldn’t I get through it? If everybody had to feel this way, why was it so hard for me?
That was until I had my first sleep over as a teenager…



I remember seeing for the first time how a real family acted, how every member interacted with each other in a harmony only love could build. That night I felt so out of place it scared me like nothing had before. I locked myself into a bathroom and cried for hours before my sister came to pick me up. But even when she asked, I didn’t utter a word. Never…



There had never been a time before that, I had never thought about ending this life that burdened me so much. I had closed up so tightly nothing could have broken through...
I believed I was bad, evil, that my destiny was to be punished my whole life. What other reason could explain such a twist of fate? In my mind, I was bruised, broken, dirtied. It was my fault, only my fault. But will I ever know the reason why?
I don't think I care anymore…


Back then, it sounded more like this secret I had to keep. Something I had to keep to myself. Who would care about me anyway? My Mom, she chose to ignore it, to close her eyes and avoid a brutal confrontation with reality, wishing maybe that it would disappear.


How was I supposed to deal with all of this on my own? I was just a teenager, and even before that just a lost little girl. How could I know better than what they had taught me? This is part of the little I know: I couldn’t, I couldn’t get past the pain and hurt, the confusion and roughness. All our life, we are taught to trust our parents, the head of authority. But when there is no authority to trust, when there is nobody to teach you, you get lost. I wasn’t that unlucky. I had a path of truth, a model to follow. He was the one to trust for me.



Max was my best friend. From the moment we were conceived, the moment we were born, there was nothing to keep us apart. He was the one here when I was scared or alone, when I was lost and dazed by my twisted reality.


Everything we did, everything we went through as kids, we went through it together. We played together, got lost and got found together, got in trouble together. In his eyes, I was just as special as he was to me.


It was just natural when in 8th grade, he asked me out to the school dance. But what I thought was exciting, turned out to be the turning point to hell… I ran home that afternoon to the rough man I had to call my dad, and ask for permission. I was happy and eager to call Max, to tell him I would be there.


But only good girls, pretty girls got to go to the school dances, and according to my step dad, I wasn’t one of them. I tried my best to work it out in my mind; why did Serena get to go and not me? ... I shouldn’t have...



I was grounded for a month, stuck at home for several days with a deep purple bruise on my cheek, the remains of his tight fist meeting the tender skin of my cheek. When it happened I was naïve enough to think that his knuckles would stay embedded into my skin forever. But there never was a trace left for the world to see.


But what was the world for a 13-year-old little girl living in Roswell? For me, the answer was simple: Max was… But that night, I was told not to ever see him again. I was forbidden to talk or have any other encounters with him.



The day I went back to school, I found myself avoiding Max, aware of his confusion yet not daring to explain. I couldn’t. I begged him to leave, to stay away from me. I was breaking up inside. How was I supposed to get through life without him? How was I supposed to live after sending away the only person I had ever trusted? But the fear of seeing him hurt was stronger. I couldn’t take the risk of witnessing my dad’s threat realized. “If he gets near you again I’ll kill him.” His strong, deep voice resonated through my mind for days.



For the rest of the day I was like the walking dead. Every single feeling that once inhabited my soul had flown away. I sat in class, a fake smile plastered on my lips for when the teachers called on me… I would have comforted Max; tell him everything was ok, if I hadn’t been too scared. But instead, I chose to hide and cry.



I stayed away from him for 2 years. Those were the 2 longest years of my life. I watched him from afar, always knowing what he was up to. Attending his football games, his practice sessions. There was never enough time to spare for him.


After a while, I was able to talk my dad into letting me join the cross-country team. I was never to talk to anyone and I had to be home on time. As long as I had the house clean and I had straight A's it was ok. And I was thankful for the distraction. At least, when I was running, nobody could touch me, nobody could see through me. I was another meaningless face in a crowd of people.



But some things never change… When you think the fight is over, when it’s time to rest the weary hearts and breathe the fresh air, when finally you let go of your defenses, that’s when the storm hits, when life stabs you in the back with a sharp knife, reminding you of who you are and where you belong…


It happened on a Friday night, the cool air of a November’s breeze had rushed me home faster than normal, and as I tried to catch my breath making my way into the dark house, my heart froze at the sound of deep throaty laughter coming from the living room. They were all there, my step dad and his friends, all bikers, dark beard and scary tattoos coloring their tan skin.



It took several minute for me to realize I was alone but it was too late to turn around, I would be in more trouble if he found out I hadn’t been back in time. So I made my way to the silent comfort of my room, cuddling against one of the walls in the darkness, hoping to be invisible. I needed to disappear, even for just a little while.
It is not long before I heard two dense familiar footsteps in the hallway getting closer and opening my door, letting in a line of light through to slit. I hold my breath praying for him to just go away. But god never heard my prayers so I just clasped my hands together, closing my eyes tightly. I thought that maybe if I stayed perfectly still no one would notice me, and he’d leave.



My door kicked open brutally and I jumped when it banged against the wall. One strong hand grabbed my arm and my eyes closed tight as I waited for what I knew was to come. Finally, I found the strength to look up at him with tears in my eyes, silently pleading for his mercy. Shaking my body effortlessly he threw me against the wall.
“Why the fuck were you hiding in your room when we have company?” his voice is harsh and his rough skin tickled my nose when he leaned over, his alcohol filled scent surrounding me, blinding my senses. I could feel his hot breath on my neck while his lips moved whispering against my ear. Taking hold of my neck, his fingers pulled at my hair when he dragged me out of the room. I looked down at myself eventually acknowledging the little clothes I was wearing: just a sports bra and a pair of shorts. I tried to cover myself with my hands, but his large hands slapped against mine as he laughed his voice rising threateningly.



"Now Liz you know I hate that when you do that." I cringed internally. I wanted to dig his eye out with my thumb, grab the knife on the kitchen table and stab his chest; it took every ounce of willpower and his hands still gripping mine tightly to hold me back.

Once again, I gathered my strength and looked up into his eyes, telling him softly to please let go. His fingers tightened and his knuckles slammed right across my face.

“Fuck you!” The words are out of my mouth before I can hold them back.
The anger reflected in his eyes but it’s too late to panic. He balled his hand in a fist and punches me in the nose. Once, twice … I stopped counting when I blacked out. I could feel him shaking me around. The warm liquid running along my cheek is blinding me and I’ve no idea where the blood is coming from anymore. In a last attempt to defend myself I cried desperately.
"Dad....... Please........ I will be good just give me a minute to clean up, Ok..... "



I was actually surprised when he agreed and didn’t waste time making my exit, but not until after he reached up and grabbed both of my breasts with his rough hands and squeezed them tightly... too tightly…
I felt sick when I walked into the small bathroom. I hurt everywhere, and winced at the deadly face looking back at me in the mirror. Was that really me? What had I become? What would I become?



I looked around for anything that might save me from the hell coming tonight. I knew it too well and panic rose in me at the thought of what was to come. I took a few deep breaths to calm myself down. My shoes were still in the bathroom and I hastily put them on. My movements are frantic and my gaze settled on the cold still night feeling inviting, waiting for me outside.



My eyes turned to the door as I slid one leg through the window. I couldn’t take anymore. I wanted better for my life. I never asked for this. In one swift motion I hoped out the window and fell soundlessly to the ground. Jumping up quickly, I took off running into the night.



I had no idea where I was going until I recognized the familiar sight of Max’s house. How fast did I run? Did he already notice I was gone? I couldn’t care much, I had to find a place to rest and my feet had brought me there, to the one and only place my heart had ever found what it was seeking peace and safety. I closed my eyes, hoping, praying he hasn’t forgotten. That, the sleepless nights thinking of him weren’t for nothing. What if he did? Would he want to see me, to talk to me?



I leaned against the wall right across from his window trying to catch my breath and stop the tears from running down my cheeks and tickling my wounded face. I didn’t want to be heard; I just wanted to stay there, not to far from him, wishing his presence would keep my shattered soul from falling to pieces.



I don’t know how long I stayed there, cuddled under his window, sobbing and hiccupping, before he found me. I felt strong arms picking me up from the ground, and fears rushed through me when I didn’t recognize his face through my blurred vision. I kicked and screamed trying to loosen the tight grip on my arms.



”Please, don’t! Please… no more…” My voice shook desperately and his fingers released my frantic body only to graze my face between his palms. My eyes tried to focus on the face looking back at me.



”Liz its Max, look at me...” His voice was calm and soothing, and I froze my flailing legs stopping their movement, and the next thing I knew I slumped against his chest, sobbing and hiccupping.
What happened to me? What happened to the little girl I used to be?






TBC…

[mmcherron]

I would like to thank the readers that left feedback.
icequeen
anonymousarfan
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Michelle17
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I love to get feedback I feel really honored that you all are reading this. I also want to thank all of my lurkers at are out there reading this too. I hope you all will continue to read.

I have up to chapter 3 written I'm still working on chapter 4. Tomorrow I will post chapter 3 or maybe later today. Thank you once again.




*I’m very sorry for keeping my wonderful readers waiting for this chapter. I’m sorry it was a little hard to get in the right words.


Author notes: I want to thank Ann(BabyLisou) who is like the other half of my brain. She is always there when I need her. She knows how I feel about everything. Thank you so much because without you I really don’t think I could have done this. She has helped me re-write things that were to hard for me. You are a great friend and writer.


Author notes: A huge thanks goes to Tuesday(dreaming in purple) for staying up late with me these passed two nights trying to help me get all the bugs out. I couldn’t get all the paragraphs out right. I’m so bad in grammar. Tuesday you are a great friend and I hope to be friends with you until tell we are old and gray. Tuesday you are the best.


Author notes: I also want to thank Steph(strawberhy shortcake) for brain storming with me for the future chapters. All of you are very important to me this fic wouldn’t be as good as it is if it weren’t for all of your help love you all girls and thank you from the bottom of my heart.




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Chapter 2


Max

Present time 2004



So here I am, standing in front of UCLA, hands tucked in my pockets, looking up at this monstrous building. I sling my bag over my shoulder and make my way inside, followed by my life long friend Michael Guerin.

I can't believe I actually got in. I never thought it would happen but when I got the admission letter it was like a dream come true. My parents were so proud of me, and shocking enough, so was my sister Isabel. I’m going to miss them, heck I’m even going to miss Isabel’s bitchy attitude. Poor Alex, I left him in charge but I know it was no gift…

We walk past a line of closed wooden doors, up some stairs, and down this long hallway before finally reaching the entrance of the dormitory I’m registered in. A couple of broad shoulders boys wearing football uniforms pass us by, talking animatedly as we walk in.

There are loud whispers as we enter and several gazes focused on us. I noticed a couple of girl giggling next to me and Michael makes a show of winking playfully their way.

“Hey Max, Michael! You guys are here!” The young man I met just a few months ago the first time I visited the University is walking towards us. He’s the RA for our dormitory. He seems to be a couple of years older than us, but his friendly smile reassured me immediately.

“Hey, there!” I shook his outstretched hand. He shows us to the room Michael and I will be sharing for the next 4 years. I watched as Michael starts throwing his stuff out of his suitcase in every direction. What the heck was I thinking living with Michael; he is such a pig. Man what I would do for my mom to be cooking dinner for me right now. I think I’m home sick already.

I’m standing here, but I almost can’t get myself to except that my life is here in this school right now. Since I left Roswell I feel like a big piece of me has been missing. And trying to talk about it with Michael is out of the question. He'd just laugh at me and tell me to shut up. And yet those torturous thoughts of home and how I hurt Liz haunt me day and night.

I did the most stupid thing you can do when you care about someone. I trusted my friends more than her. I can’t believe how lame I acted, and to be honest, I don't blame her for not talking to me anymore.

The only girl that I ever loved, the keeper of my heart and soul, is now out of my life forever. I can’t help thinking I should have known better… Geez, who am I kidding? I did know better. Yet, I still hurt her more than anyone else ever had.

I use to know everything about her. I knew her better than anyone else. From that night she showed up at my window two years ago until recently, we hadn’t been apart. She told me everything. Things I ignored… or at least things I thought were convenient to ignore at the time.

When she came back into my life it was heart wrenching and a dream come true all at the same time. Having to listen to everything she had been through over the years was more torturous than anything, but I wouldn’t have traded that time with her for anything.

That night I swore to myself I would never let anything happen to her again. That no one would ever hurt her again. But in the end, it was me. I was the one that shattered what was left of her broken heart.

I know I should try and forget her, try and live my life like Liz Parker had never existed…. But I can't. The image of her face when I pushed her away is burnt into my brain. I still feel the pain of that moment every time I think of her, like a vicious punishment for what I did. I know I’ll be reliving it for the rest of my life.

What I did to her was unforgivable. I made her feel used. Dirty. Like a piece of meat. Being scared was no excuse. The fact is I was showing off for my friends. Stubbornly I was refusing to look vulnerable in front of them. It wasn’t worth it, because look at me now. I’m miserable, depressed, and my regret us eating me alive. I’m so hopeless I get her out of my mind.

I knew Liz's darkest secrets, she didn’t even have to tell me and I knew them. I knew that her dad did unspeakable things to her. Beat her for not living up to his unattainable standards. For not being the prefect daughter he wanted. He was so proud of his other two daughters, but Liz he beat and degraded. I knew that she was living a lie, pretending her life was perfect. It was so unfair. She is the kind of person that would go out of her way to help people. She didn’t deserve to have a man like him raising her.

We had known each other all our lives, but in the 8th grade I started noticing her acting strange. Suddenly she would be absent from school for 2 or 3 days, sometimes more and would always avoid giving me an explanation. She had bruises and cigarettes burns on her arms, bumps on her forehead, split lips. It didn’t take a genius to figure out who was doing this to her, but I never had the guts to do anything about it. So when she started hiding from me, when she told me to stay away from her, I didn’t push. I wish I had though. I could tell she wanted me to help her, that she wanted me in her life, but I was scared shitless of what might happen to her if went against her will… or the will of the person who told her to stay away from me. Her words had been telling me one thing, but her eyes were telling me something else. The sparkle in her eyes started dying that day, and I didn’t do anything to stop it.

She wouldn’t speak to me for the next two years. All that time away from her. She hid in corners watching me, watching over me… while I should have been watching over her instead.

I did everything in my power to stay away from her, but I did stay close enough to keep a watchful eye without her noticing. I saw her everyday at school and I had to fight to urge to talk to her, or wait for her at her locker, and especially to walk her home. She switched from our Biology class to History. It was the only class we shared together. But I didn’t give up.

When the week would end, I’d follow her to her house; I wonder if she ever noticed because she always seemed to take the longest way to get there… or maybe she was just scared, and didn’t want to go back to where she was always afraid.

I watched her sitting by her windowsill, crying, wishing I could just walk through this dreaded place and take her away from all pain. I wish I could do more than sit and watch. Sit and watch as she looked up at the sky, praying on glowing stars, to a God I knew she had barely ever believed in.

I caught her watching me a few times. She’d blush and quickly look away. This one moment that I saw her is forever imprinted in my memory. She was sitting on a bench, in the park near the school. Her eyes were closed and her chin was propped in her hand, and she seemed lost in her own little world. She looked so peaceful just sitting there soaking up the sunrays.

Michael must have noticed I had zoned out looking out the window and threw a pillow at my head. “You’re doing it again.”

I looked over at Michael feeling slightly ashamed at being caught zoning over Liz again, and can’t make eye contact with him.

“Max, Liz told you she never wants to talk to you again. She said to just leave her alone. So, why can’t you just get over it already are you that hopeless?!” He shook his head, rolling his eyes at my broody attitude.

“C’mon Max! You fucked up. She doesn’t want to talk to you. Get over it!" He always seems to get a sadistic pleasure in reminding me what I had done and the consequences of my actions toward Liz.

"Fuck you Michael! What the hell do you know anyway?” I snapped angrily. He shouldn’t stick his nose where it doesn’t belong. He knows how much I messed up because he was there. But I regret everything I did. He just doesn’t seem to register this last part.

“I love her, Michael! I still love her, and there is nothing I can do to get her back now. I know I messed this up myself, but I just wish she’d give me a second chance." I slumped on the bare mattress in the corner, resting my head in my hands, feeling tired and weary.

Shit what was I thinking making such a big scene in front of everyone that night? Why couldn’t I just walk away? I could have talked to her in private, but no I had to play it wild and make it loud. I was stupid to listen to everyone else. I should have listened to my heart.

I didn’t realize Michael had started talking again until his piercing words caught my attention. He’s right though, he’s only telling me the truth.

"No, Max. I do know. That night you said some pretty mean shit to her. What did you think she was going to do? Tell you that she forgives you and take you back, just like that? I know I don't know the whole story, but what you’re going through right now you did to yourself. You dug your own grave man! You need to deal with that shit and move on.” He speaks animatedly.

I know he’s right. Take notice America, Michael Guerin is a smart man! I should listen to what he has to say more often. I shouldn’t have hurt Liz the way I did. I brought all this on myself. I have no right to complain now. No right to pull out the victim card. But, even still…

“I can't do let her go.”

I’ve to be honest with myself; there is no way I will ever get over Liz Parker. I knew in my heart along time ago that Liz was it. She was the one I was living for, the one I had waited for and now will regret losing forever.

I am just a teenager. I was scared of the shadow of an uncertain future. I didn’t know what I wanted out of life. I still don’t know. The only thing I was ever sure of was Liz Parker. She was the constant in my life, my anchor to the world. No matter how far apart we were, or how long the separation lasted, she was the only one for me.

Now my future is upon me, and without Liz it doesn’t even make sense anymore.

“C’mon man, it’s time to start putting yourself back together and starts living again. Forget the girl already. It’s obvious you’re not going to see her again anyway.”

“I’m never going to forget her Michael, that’s the problem. She is my soul-mate don’t you understand? She’s the other half of me.”

“Max, you’re so hopeless. There is no such thing as soul mates, you wuss. Besides, I got you a date tonight. She is a little hottie. You gotta tap some of that ass. She has boobs for days. I think you are going to love them. Her name is Tess.” Michael smiled and rubbed his hands together manically at the mention of the girl’s boobs. “We are double dating, so hurry your sappy ass up and get ready before Maria gets here. You know how she gets if she has to wait. Get a move on Max.”

“Michael, I don't date you know that. So don’t start. Especially right now, it’s definitely not a good time.”

“Fine! But then I’m letting you deal with Maria. You’re telling her you’re canceling. She’s gonna freak.” He holds his hands up in the air, before sitting beside me on the bed and put a hand on my shoulder. “You need to try and have some fun, Max. Come with us.” He nudged me with his elbow trying to get me to get moving. “Go ahead and get dressed. They’ll be here any minute now.”

I watched him go to his own suitcase and pull out a green shirt and a clean pair of jeans. “Hurry up Maxwell!” He turns around, looking me straight in the eyes.

“You owe me big on this one, Michael and you know it,” I groan. I point a finger to him, challenging him as he smirks back at me.

I looked through the pile of clothes in my suitcase, and pull out a yellow sweatshirt and a pair of jeans. I need something that will keep this bimbo out of my pants.

A minute later, I’m coming out of the small bathroom I share with Michael and catch a glimpse of the blond woman sitting on my bed. God, it’s even worse than I thought. Doesn’t Michael have taste? I know Maria does, but obviously she found him, not the other way around.

Oh, shit I hate that look Maria is giving to me. I hope Michael can control his girl tonight.

“Maxwell Evans, what do you think you’re wearing?” She looks at me with those eyes, her hands on her hips, her lips pursed defiantly. I wince internally, turning around to walk back into the bathroom and put back the black shirt I was wearing earlier. No way am I confronting Hurricane De Luca again.

“Finally” Maria screams “We have been waiting forever. Max I want you to meet someone. This is Tess, my roommate.”

Holy shit those things are huge! I wonder if they are fake? How could someone so tiny have such big boobs? I have to repress a giggle. This girl does have some guts wearing this dress. It shows almost everything.

“Hi, Max nice to meet you. I heard a lot about you.” Tess squeaks. “I will be very happy to show you around, if you know what I mean.”

“Ok guys, we are going to be late for dinner so let get a move on, I’m hungry.” Michael stated, already taking a hold of Maria’s hand and dragging her through the open door.

****************

I can’t believe I’m here. I mean come on, Tess is so not even my type; Blonde hair, short, prefect nails, huge boobs, big blue eyes. What was that boy thinking? My type is long, silky, brown hair, big brown eyes, olive skin, cute smile that brightens up the gloomiest days. Shit I’m doing it again. I better snap out of it before Michael notices or I’m up for another lecture. I at least need to act like I’m having some fun.

“So, Tess where are you from? What are you studying in school?” I ask tightly, plastering a fake smile on my face.

“I’m from around here actually. I grew up in LA. If you need a tour guide, I’m your woman.”

Yeah right, I fight the urge to roll my eyes knowing exactly where this little tour party would end. Her bed is definitely not somewhere I want to be.

“I’m not too sure of a major yet. I just figure since my parents are paying for it, I might as well go to college.”

I will do anything to have this crazy date to end. Do I really have to eat with her? I hope I make it through the whole dinner with out wanting to choke her. Can she be anymore shameless? I can almost see one of her boobs popping out of her dress. Shit, I really need a drink.

I order a beer, and then another. Every time sending Michael warning glares so that he would keep his comments for himself. I just can’t take any of his sarcasm right now. He is the one who stuck me with Miss Boobsy Bimbo after all.

I think the night drug on purposely, just to see me suffer. I think I also might have had a little bit too much to drink, because Tess’s voice doesn’t sound like nails scratching down a chalkboard anymore. My vision started to get blurry and I fought to stay awake.

“Max! Hey Max! Man, are you ready to go home?”

“Come on, I think you’ve had enough to drink. Let get you home and in bed.”

I feel his arm slides around my back, pulling me up as he dragged me out of the club.

TBC…

[mmcherron]

Author Notes: I would like to thank faithlee aka Babylisou for all her help. Even though she is very busy with Real Life she is always there for me. Thank you…..you are a dear friend.

Strawberhy Shortcake aka Steph you are the best thank you for betaing the first round. You are always very patient with me. You also give great advice. Thank you….

Dreaming in Purple aka Tuesday you are always up with me to do the last betaing to make sure that there is no bugs and that everything is flowing right. Love ya woman…..


With out all of your help I would almost be lost. I can’t believe how much you all help me look like a great writer. This is my first long fic. I’m always very picking and scared to put this out. Thank you all for being patient with me.


Last….I would like to thank all of my readers. You all are the best…Even you lurkers thank you. I love all of the feedback. I pm all of you if I have happen to forgot one of you I’m sorry…But I would forget any from now on…..

Thank you for the wonderful feedback love all of it:

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Chapter 3







Liz’s POV

As I wake up, I roll over to the clock....shit; I can’t believe its only 6:00am. Can’t I at least get one night sleep without waking up?


I think I am being punished for something I did in a previous life. Can’t I be forgiven already? I think I paid my punishment in full, because if anything else goes wrong I really don’t think I could handle it.


It’s not unusual; I can’t remember in my short life, having had a full night of sleep. The fear of something happening to me in my sleep was built in me from so young an age; my slumber has aligned to it.


I wasn’t allowed to be a deep sleeper back when I still lived in that house, the threat of His presence always hung over me.


I think I need to just get up and go for a run. That always makes me feel a bit better. Pushing the covers aside, my legs dangle for a while on the edge of the queen size bed. I feel a bit dizzy. My head feels strangely heavy, like I had drunk too much alcohol but not enough to be hungover. I stand to get dress but stumble across the carpet, almost losing my balance before sitting back down.

What was that?


It’s not the first time I’ve been feeling this way lately, but with classes and work it’d hard to keep up with my body's demands. I’ve skipped some lunches and dinners… probably too many this week. I just have to go outside. I know it’s what I need.


As soon as I hit the road I feel a hundred percent better. I love the way it feels to just run and feel the sun beating on my face and back. Here I know no one can get to me. I know that this is the freest I can feel. No one can control me here. No one can touch me. I love the way the hard road feels under my feet, the way the wind brushes in my hair.

When I’m running, all the nightmares rush out of my mind. I soon start to feel all the things that I have been bottling up for the past month. My family….. Max……everything that has been weighing on me. I can’t help but to push them back down. I can’t deal with them anymore.



I hate the feeling of drowning that comes with them. Most of all I hate feeling like I’m so damage that no one can love me. Am I that repulsive to everyone?


Why did I give my heart and soul to Max? I thought that he was the one and only for me….Is that why my heart can’t forgive him?


I keep hoping that I can get over him. I haven’t even talked to him in weeks. I need some peace with all of this shit. I have to be able to stand on my two feet and never look back again.


The worse thing is I don’t know if I can give him up? Can I get over the one who holds the only key to my heart? Will I ever get it back? Would I really ever be able to give it to someone else? Those are the questions that I fight with everyday, having a constant inner battle with myself. Do I want Max back in my life or do I move on ….without my heart?


When I finally snap out of my haze, I realized that I ran over 5 miles. My Mom used to tell me I’d run myself into an early grave if I keep on doing that. But I can’t help feeling better. My head clear, my mind empty from worries.


Now I know I can face the day without any breakdowns. I hate it when I get so emotional I can’t cope. People are going to start thinking I’m little crazy for crying in the supper market because I see something reminds me of him.


By the time I get home I’m ready to start the day….


Home? Home is with Alex now. I met him when Isabel started to date him. I just couldn't live with my mother anymore. I love her but I just can’t get over all the things she let me believe. I can’t pretend that nothing happened in our supposedly Happy Home Sweet Home. I lived that lie way to long already. There are things I just can’t forgive her for.


I know I broke her heart moving out, but I just couldn’t sleep there. I didn't feel safe. I woke up screaming in the middle of the night, always thinking I was going to get hit again or woken up because I forgot to do something. Not that it has changed for that matter, but at least I don’t have to be afraid when I wake up.



It was like people were ashamed of me for being different. I was different because I was the one who everyone whispered about in school and around town. I hated the looks people and strangers would give me. Did I always have something in my teeth? Did I smell, or maybe I looked funny, and didn't even know it.


As soon as I step into the kitchen, I smell the arousing scent of freshly cooked bacon. But my stomach churns and a minute later, I find myself running through the small hallway into the near bathroom.


I know Alex must wonder what is happening to me, and to be quiet honest, I am too. I’ve a few ideas of what it might be, but I just can’t think about it right now. The burning bile rose into my throat and I groan, leaning over the cool tiled wall. How can I throw up when I haven’t even eaten in days?



“Liz? Liz… are you going to eat? Liz did you hear me?” I could hear Alex's footsteps coming down the hall. He slowly opens the door. Alex’s face peeks in from the hallway and his worried eyes meets mine. “Hey sweetie, what’s wrong? Is it that nausea again?”



“You know Liz that is 4 days in a row that you have been sick.” Alex says shaking his head at me pitifully. I think I’ll gross him out to get him to go away.



"Alex do I look green? Ewwwwww… I hate throwing up.” I say, looking as sickly as I can while I lean back over the toilet to empty my stomach again.

I feel Alex sit down next to me. He pulls my hair out of my face and starts rubbing my back. “Maybe you should go see a doctor or something you know? It’s not really normal. Did you have a nightmare again last night?”


I hide the surprise look from my face. Why do I even wonder how he knows? “I’m sorry, did I wake you?”


“Nah, don’t worry. I was just wondering. I heard you the day before… Is it Max again?”


I shake my head. He doesn’t know about my step dad, Max is the only person I ever trusted with that secret, and to be quite honest, seeing the way it ended, I’m not ready to trust anybody else with it again. Though I know Alex has doubts about why I’m having nightmares, he thinks something else is bothering me.


I notice Alex looking at me funny, and then he reaches over and turns on the shower. “Here jump in the shower, and I will make you some toast and tea. I remember my Mom used to drink that when she was sick." Alex shook his head at me again before he leaves the bathroom.



Shit, and here I thought today was going to be better. I jump into the shower hoping that it will do wonders for me. I actually do start feeling better as the shower streams down my back. Brushing my teeth too, I start to feel almost human again. Maybe I didn’t eat enough this morning? Why did I throw up again? I can’t get sick now; I need to go to work. I have bills to pay for, rent, and college too. I know that no one will pay those for me.


Alex POV


I wish I knew what was wrong with her? I’m constantly worried. I can hear her screaming at night. I want to run in her room and comfort her, just hold her and let her cry it all out.

I know she has deep secrets. They are so deep that they haunt her dreams. I can see it on her face in the morning when they are really bad.

I heard her screaming Max’s name once. She was asking him to save her. I wonder what she needs saving from?

It’s been great having Liz as a roommate. She has a heart of gold. I remember that she was the same way in high school. I never really knew her that well back then. She was always a loner. I remember her being on the track and cross-country team in high school.

We all got to be better friends after she started to date Max. It was sometime in the middle of 10th grade that they started to date. At least she started to hang around us more during that time.


Even then I knew that she was hiding something big. You could tell by the faraway looks that she would get sometimes when she thought no one was looking.

There was this one time, right before we started our senior year of high school, we all went out to see a movie. It was a double feature, “Sleeping with the Enemy” and “Enough”. She would be crying and jumping during certain parts. I heard Max asking her if she want to leave. But she always refused.


Now I’m the one that’s protective of her. I know she had her heart stomped on by that jerk, Max Evans.


Hey, don’t get me wrong, I love the guy. Isabel's older brother, I gotta love him. I just don’t agree with the way that he handled himself.



Liz has been different ever since that night. I’ve noticed this sadness about her. This devastated look she has now. It just breaks my heart. I know she is trying hard to forget everything. Maybe that is why she is getting so sick all the time.


I hope that she’ll go to the doctor. I really don’t want her to get any worse. Like that could ever happen.




Shit I better get a move on I hear the shower turning off. I need to start Liz’s tea and toast………





Liz’s POV



I feel like a new person now as I walk into the kitchen clean and dressed.


“Hi Isabel, how are you doing today? It’s nice to see you this morning. Are we still going to the mall?” I reach over the table to grab the tea Alex made me. I’m so happy that Alex and Isabel have each other. Even if Isabel’s the one that wears the pants in their relationship. I think it’s kind of cute.



I have been getting closer to Isabel and Alex these past 2 years. I’m very lucky that I can live with Alex. He’s like a brother I never had. He’s been great, even though he doesn’t know all about my past. I'm not sure if I will ever be ready to share that with anyone again. I couldn’t stand to lose another person who's close to me, that knows about all of my secrets. Maybe I will tell them one day



I love the way Isabel comes over everyday for breakfast. We are like one big happy family here in the mornings.



“Liz…Don’t forget to eat your toast it will make you feel better. You need to eat more. You are starting to fade away.” Alex wails. "You need to take better care of yourself. I think you need to see a doctor just in case! Please, Liz, do it for me.”


I rolled my eyes at his lecturing tone. He knows he can get to me with that look easily.



“Alex will you stop already. I’m not dying, but if that’s what it’ll take to get you to stop hovering, then yes I will go alright?” He can be such the mother hen sometimes. I think I like that the best about him. He is always here if I need to talk to someone. He is always making sure I eat and sleep enough. It’s different knowing that someone you live with can be so caring and sweet without expecting anything in return. I think I’m getting use to all the great times here with Alex and Isabel.

“Alex, since you’re nagging me about it so much, hand me the phone. You know this is going to take forever right?” He’s not paying any attention to me anymore. I see them giving each other that sappy look that they always give each other before they both disappear out of sight.



“You guys, come on! We have to get a move on if we want to do all of this stuff today. I also have to be at the Doctors at 2:00pm now too, so……. Get your pretty little asses out here!” I shriek.


I hope they weren’t busy doing the nasty, I thought to myself in disgust. Ewwwwwww…. that was just brain overload there, someone please give my brain a frontal lobotomy, before I’m scared for life. What the hell was I thinking? Alex and Isabel naked really isn’t something I want to think about after throwing up.




Here I am sitting on the couch watching Montel waiting for Alex and Isabel to appear. The show is about “Who is my baby’s daddy?” I wonder how the hell you can not know who your baby’s father is. This girl has 5 guys being tested at once. What the hell is that? Have they ever heard of condoms or birth control?


"Alex, come on, we’re going to be late…..Isabel we’re gonna miss out on the mall if you don’t hurry," I shout from the hallway, trying to get their attention.


“What was that you said about the mall?” Isabel comes running out of the room fixing her skirt.


"Oh I see how you are… All I have to say is “Mall” and you come running," I laugh at her predicament, her cheeks turning a slight pink and I can't help the laugh that bubbles from my lips.


“Shut up Liz. I’m here aren’t I?” Isabel pouted.


”I called Dr. Stevens, we have 3 hours until my appointment; what stores do you want to go to, Isabel? How about you Alex, do you want to go anywhere?”



Isabel started to drag me by my arm, "Come on Liz we need to go to Victoria's Secret."


"Oh…no…you are not getting me in there." I say trying to free myself from her grip.


"Come on you need pretty stuff to wear." Isabel begged with the saddest puppy dog eyes,” Please …pretty please….” Oh shit here comes the whining now.


“Ok, Isabel” I said rolling my eyes,” Only this one time, but I refuse to buy anything.”



"We will see about that." mumbled Isabel.


Shit, I hate it when Isabel pulls this crap on me. Like I really need pretty panties and bra sets. Who is really going to see them? I can buy the same shit over at Wal-Mart half price.


I will still look just as good. I know that Isabel is trying hard to help me get over Max, but I’m just not in the touchy feely mood.



After an hour in Victoria's Secrets with Isabel I’m starving. “Come on lets go find Alex. I know he must be hungry too.”


“Oh I told him to meet us here in about 15 minutes.” Isabel states. "I say we sit and talk," she is looking straight in my eyes and I have to shy away.



“Ok Isabel what do you want to know?”


“Liz, I know you are still hurting. I just want to tell you that I really do care for you. I’m not like my brother. I’m not going to leave you. I will be here if you ever need a friend to talk with. We have known each other for a long time, my whole life. I just want you to start trusting me. I grew up in the same house as Max.



I want to tell you that I noticed things too. I wasn’t blind, but Max made me promise not to say anything. I promise Liz please believe me. I would never hurt you. You have been through too much.” Now she’s crying and I don’t know what to do anymore. I don’t even understand why she’s crying. Who ever cry over me?


“Ok... please stop crying Isabel. I know you would never hurt me. It’s hard to trust, at least for me. I know you will always be there for me. You have already proved that, but you just have to give me time.”



“I saw him... Liz I saw him hit you! I didn’t understand what I saw that night, but it scared me. I thought he was going to hurt you even worse, but I was only 9 years old. What was I supposed to do? I told your mom, but she did nothing but smile and pats me on my head. I’m so sorry; I wish I could have done something else. I feel like this is my fault that I never said anything to anyone else ever. Can you ever forgive me?" Isabel pleads with tears running down her once perfectly made up cheeks.


I find myself looking up into her eyes for the first time since we started talking. “Isabel I want you to listen very well here ok…What he did to me, no one could ever stop. Please stop thinking that you, a little 9 year old girl, could have done more than you did.


You told someone and they did nothing. You’re not at fault here. I also want to thank you for being the only friend who knows how not to treat me differently because of what happen. You knew all this time and never said a word?” I hesitantly reach over, wrapping my arms around her stiff shoulders.




I whisper, “Thank you,“ in Isabel's ear. “More then you’ll ever know.”



Isabel’s POV


I can’t believe that I finally told her my secret. I have been holding that secret in forever. I know if I would have told Max he would have freaked out.

He was so overprotective of Liz in high school. I know for a fact that they were inseparable while they were growing up. Our families used to be close at one time.


Liz was always kind to me when I was growing up. I never had a sister, but I knew I could always turn to Liz for sisterly advice about boys.


She used to come over to our house all the time when she was in grammar school. That all changed, one day in 8th grade. Well I was in 7th, but it was the day that Max asked Liz to the dance. I never saw Max so happy, ever. It was like he was floating around the house with a stupid grin on his face.


He started to get worried when Liz didn’t call to tell him what her parents had told her. He got so impatient he called her. Well I could tell by the look on his face that the call didn’t go as planned.


He was in tears. I couldn’t believe that Liz would tell him "No". That, was my first thought. Max was saying something about Liz’s father telling him he was no longer to talk to Liz.


At that very moment I remembered what had happen to Liz that day. I remembered seeing Liz’s Father hitting her and dragging her around like a rag doll. I was so scared for her. I was only nine, and I remember her being so scared. I could hear her crying, begging for him to stop.



Why couldn’t I have done something then?


I told Nancy, Liz’s mother, but she didn’t do a thing. She just smiled at me. Can you fucking believe that? I can’t believe her parents would do something like that to their own child.


Oh Liz, I’m so sorry……


I heard Alex all of a sudden from behind….



Liz’s POV



That’s how Alex finds us a few minutes later. “What is wrong sweetie?” He asks, but I can’t answer him right now. Wiping away my tears, I stand up and smile weakly. “I’m starving lets eat.”

Yes, lets. Come on, I see a great pizza place right over there.” It was so nice to be able to eat without feeling sick. I was so hungry. I’m starting to dread leaving the mall because I really don’t want to go to the doctor’s. I hate that place….



*****************



I hate hospital rooms. Bad memories are hard to forget and most of the worst of mine are linked to a hospital or a waiting room in a crowded office. If I close my eyes, I can still feel blood running down my cheeks, and my mother explaining to the nurse I fell from my chair, or down the stairs, or any other good explanation for a split lips or broken ribs.


It was never the same place though; we couldn’t take the risk of bringing me to the same doctor or hospital every time. The staff would have gotten suspicious. So the few times my Mom would insist on taking me, it would always be a different place.



"What if it’s something like cancer? Alex? Do you think I’m going to die? What if I have some weird type of blood problem? Would you always be here for me?" My knees start to shake more. I have a rolled up magazine in my lap, ringing it tighter in crumpled roll. I can see my knuckles getting whiter as I roll it tighter.


I feel Alex’s hand grab my knee. “Liz, relax it's going to be ok. I promise everything is going to be fine. At least the doctor can make you better.” said Alex dearly.


"Elizabeth Parker, the Doctor will see you now"……I jump up and throw the rolled magazine onto Isabel’s lap.


Nurse Lani takes all of my measurements and weight. Now she tells me that I have to pee in the little cup. I hate this tiny paper gown that she gave me to wear…..I can’t wait until this is all over….




"Elizabeth Parker?” I hear my name being called and I open my eyes, looking around at the white walls and the doctor standing before me with a smile on her face. I want this over with. “So? What’s wrong with me?” I ask blankly.


Her smile faltered but quickly comes back when she has composed herself. “Well Miss Parker, your blood tests are back and it seems like nothing is wrong with you except that you’re expecting.”


I look in her eyes, frowning. “Expecting what?”


She shifts uncomfortably and I can tell she is put off by my lack of reaction. “A child Miss Parker... You’re pregnant…




TBC…….

[mmcherron]

Author Note: I want to tell you all sorry if you find mistakes. I will fix them tomorrow when I get this back from my beta. I just thought I let you all hang on this long enough.


I would like to tell everyone that I’m very sorry this chapter took awhile to write. I was fighting with Mother Nature. I would like to thank all of your kind words. I also wanted to tell all of you that I wanted to post this today, but I never got the finished betaed part because of the weather. So I will post the corrections later tomorrow. I though all of you waited long enough.



I want to thank Ann(faithlee,babylisou) for all of your hard work. I know you have a bunch of other things to do in Real Life, but you always take the time to help me with the re-writes and the flow of my story. I love all the time you give me, because I know you really don’t have time on your hands. Hugs and Kisses


Tuesday(dreaminginpurple) you are the best. You will always give me great advice you never let me give up. This chapter was the hardest to write because I lost it the first time and never could write it the way I did before. I think I would have just stopped writing all together. You really stood by me. Thank you for letting me know about all the repeats.



Steph(strawberhy shortcake) You are great with helping me brainstorm the story plots. You are always there when I’m stuck or if I ever need help. Thank you for trying to beta this fast for me. I’m sorry you had problems with the weather. I really don’t think that the fic would be anywhere it is today with out all of you there supporting me. Well enough with my chatter.


I would like to give a special thanks to all of my readers and Lurkers. You are all the best. You make me want to write more…


Thank you for the wonderful feedback:

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Chapter 4







Maxs POV





When we come out of the bar, I feel myself stumbling drunkenly over the pavement, my arms reaching out for some sense of balance as I mumble some obscenities. When I know that I’m ready to fall on my ass and just sleep there on the ground, I feel Maria’s arm grabbing mine and she has me thrown over the car in a second.




I know I’m a bad drunk. Everybody tells me that. I’m stinking and cursing, but at this moment, I don’t care. Even when I’m not drunk I care only about one thing: drinking more to forget. Forget that Liz left me; forget that I made her leave.



I bet Maria wants to ring my neck right now; and not only because I just ruined her night, but because I ruined Tess’s too. I knew I should have stopped at the first beer, but I couldn’t. The thought of being out on a date with someone other than my Liz was unbearable.




I look down at Maria praying that I will live through her tongue lashing. I hate getting on her bad side. Her black list is somewhere you don’t want to be; and not because of her sharp nails, or strong fists, but because she has the way to make you feel guilty and miserable with only a few words.




“Sit in the back with me?” I realized I’ve leant over her shoulder, my lips grazing her earlobe as I whisper sexily in her ear. I can’t see her raised eyebrows, but I imagine it. I can also imagine her disappointment, her disapproval too. But most of all, I can feel Michael’s gaze burning down my neck. I know he heard me, there is no doubt in my drunken state I could have been silent enough.



I feel her head shakes against mine and she pushes against my chest, holding my swinging body firmly against the front door.




“Max, loverboy, you own me big! I swear I better not regret this or I’ll leave you on the pavement.” She tries to sound threatening but I only hear resignation in her voice. It’s too easy; she won’t let me off so easily. I’m drunk right now, and she knows anything she would do will have only a mild effect on me. But tomorrow … Oh Boy, I don’t even want to think about tomorrow.



As we all pile in the car I barely noticed Tess’s huffy look; it seems obvious she’s disappointed at the moment but honestly I don’t care. I don’t want to be with her, I don’t want to be next to her, I don’t want anything to do with her.



The drive back home seems to last an eternity. When we finally pulled into the driveway my head is already throbbing painfully, and my stomach churning in protest against all the alcohol I’ve been drinking tonight.




I groan in protest when Michael’s hand tugged on mine to get me out of the car, pushing me against the wall while he opens the door. I have to fight to stay up and through my blurred vision; I realize who is standing in front of me.



”Go away…” I know my voice is a slur, but I’m trying my best to sound convincing. I don’t want this girl to touch me. Even drunk she’d be capable of taking advantage of me.




My eyes focused on Maria’s and I beg her silently to take the girl away, but her arms are crossed against her breasts determinately.




“I don’t need your help Tess”




“Come on Max, I can help you get ready for bed…” Now she’s whispering huskily into my ear and I swear my nausea has increased a 100% more. Her hands are sliding up my chest and I take hold of them, brutally throwing her away from me.



“I said stay away! Don’t you ever touch me, you bitch!” My tone is harsh; too harsh obviously because it makes Maria jump and Michael has me stumbling through the door a minute later with her in tow.



“MAX! I can’t believe you….Couldn’t you at least be a little nice? All you’ve been doing all night is either ignore her or insult her!” She’s screaming right at my face, her arms flailing around me, making me dizzy as she speaks.



“She’s a slut! I never asked you to set me up and you know it! Now leave me alone! Stop trying to help me!” I walk away, slamming my door in her face before she has the time to answer. But I know she was to shock to do so anyways.





Sliding against the door until my behind hit the floor with a soft thud; I can hear the heated whispers of Maria and Michael on the other side. I know he’s speaking for me right now and I’ll own him big for this tomorrow…. Until then, all I want is peace, sleep and peace…





I want to drown out what is happening around me so I reach over and turn on my stereo, hoping that some music will help. I strip down to my boxers and jump back into bed. I last thing on my mind is Liz and that night… I ruined everything … How am I ever going to fix what I messed up... I can even picture it like it was yesterday…









Max’s dream



Damn! I can’t begin to tell you how bad my day has been so far. I’m sitting in the locker room after football practice and all I’m hearing all kinds of rumors about my girlfriend. I was shaking my head at the guys, telling them, ‘I know my girlfriend. I know that she wouldn’t do that.’


Exavier just laughs at me. “Do you really know her? How do you know if she is keeping secrets or not? What are you going to do when you guys both leave in different directions for college? Are you gonna trust her all the way across the country?” he asks. “I think you just need to make a clean break. You’re going to UCLA and Liz is going to Harvard.”



Exavier looks around and moves closer to me, then whispers, “Max I heard that Liz was messing around with both Marc and Tim one night. I never saw her with my own eyes, but do you think it’s possible? Can you ever really know someone?” he said with remorse.



“Come on you are going drinking with me tonight at Zan’s party right?” Exavier said swinging his arm around my shoulders. “This is the last party before we all leave for college.”



Little did I really know that this was going to be the last night I would ever talk to Liz……





I’m sitting here with Michael, Exavier, Zan and few others I can’t remember, drinking beers and kicking back. I see Liz walking up to us. I’ve been at the party for hours already; I wonder where she’s been.





Marc told me about their little get together. I was hurt and very confused. I couldn’t believe that Liz would do that to me. Who does she think she is?





“Max you never called I was worried about you. You forgot to come and get me we were going to come here together remember?”




I was looking into her eyes. I could see the hurt, but I didn’t give a shit. She cheated on me. After everything I had done for her. Everything I gave up for her. I was beyond livid. I was so pissed I almost couldn’t see straight. It could have been the 7 beers and 4 shots I had, but who really knows?



“So, then may I ask just how you got here then?” I ask sarcastically.



“Alex and Isabel offered me a ride. Max, are you drunk?”



“That is the least of your worries right now Liz.”





“What the hell does that mean?” she asked looking around worriedly. “Maybe we should just go someplace and talk?”




“No, I really don’t want to go anywhere with you.” Max slurs. “You know what you’re a slut. A no good whore! I can’t believe I ever thought I loved you.”



“Max! What the fuck are you talking about,” she screamed at me, but I really don’t give a damn.




“I loved you Liz and you cheat on me like I’m nothing!” I look at her, and I see the pain in her eyes while I’m yelling at her. I wanted to reach out and hold her, but I just can’t… I’m too disgusted to be around her. I never knew I could feel that way about Liz…



“How could you do this to me? I trusted you. How could you fuck one of my friends?! Was I that bad or are you just that big a slut?!”



“We were supposed to be together forever, Liz. Can you please tell me why? Please… Liz PLEASE tell me? Where did we go wrong?”




I thought I really knew her. I could see the pain I was causing her but she hurt me way more. I knew I should have stopped there, but I just could help myself. I wanted to put her down like she did me. I wanted to hurt her just as bad. The worse part is I knew exactly how to do it. I wouldn’t listen to a word that came out of her mouth. I couldn’t let her get to me before I did my damage.




“I can’t deal with you when you’re like this, Max.” Liz cried. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”



.

She turns to walk away from me, but I can’t have her leave just yet. I’m not done with her. Before I know it, I reach out and grab her by the arm and roughly turn her around to face me.




“Do you really think I’m gonna just let you walk away? I want to know why you fucked my friend Marc here.” I point him out to her. “Why!” I screamed.




“Was he a better fuck than me, Liz? Huh, was he?” I grab her other arm and start shaking her. I can hear her pleading with me to stop, but I don’t stop. She is crying.




“Max, please stop you are hurting me…”




“You are no fucking good, you know that? How many others have you slept with? TELL ME!”



“I never slept with anyone but you, Max, and you know it.” Liz screamed at me. She struggled to get free but I wouldn't let her go.



“That is just it Liz… I really don’t know it. How can I believe that you won’t be fucking all the super jocks or science geeks at Harvard? How do I know you won’t be whoring around every night? I don’t think I ever really knew you at all.



Maybe you never did, Max,” she said. “And now you never will. I never want to see you again. You go and be your Mr. Perfect at your new school and just forget you ever knew me.”





“Now, please… let… go… of… me…” I watch her look down at her arm then glare at me with such hatred I almost back down. I can hear all the guys laughing at her in the back ground. I totally forgot they were here. I just humiliated her in front of all the guys.



Then I remember why I’m doing this. She cheated on me. I can feel all the anger start to build up again. I can feel myself squeezing her arms tighter and not letting go. It’s like I’m not in control any more. I can hear her crying and saying something but, I have no idea what it is. I think I was hurting her because before I know it Michael was pulling me off her. I look up and see her running away…





~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



“LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIZZZZZZZ”




I bolt up out of bed and almost fall over feeling dizzy. I have cotton mouth. My head is pounding. I can feel the queasiness come over me, and I run straight to the bathroom.











Michael’s POV




I jerk awake hearing a scream. “What the hell…” I look around and Maria is still asleep beside me. I better go see what is wrong with Max before he wakes her up. I scoot out of bed and go looking for my ass of a roommate.



I can’t believe Max is screaming Liz’s name in his sleep again. I wonder what he’s dreaming about. This has happen a couple of times before, since their big fight…


I knock lightly on his door, because I really don’t need Maria out here freaking out on top of this. “Max, are you ok?”



“Yes, Michael. I’m ok….just, give me a minute.”


“Ok, I will be in your room waiting. Just remember to be quiet. We don’t want Maria up, asking us a million questions.”



I sit in his room running through all the things I need to tell him. I want to stop hiding this part of myself, but to do that I have to tell him my deepest secrets. But maybe afterward we can start fresh with a clean slate. I just hope to god that he can forgive me.



“Hey Michael, I’m sorry if I woke you up.”



“No, its cool man. Were you dreaming about Liz again?” He can’t look me in the eye. Yeah, he was dreaming about her. I can’t understand why he is torturing himself?


He comes to sit on his bed, leaning his back against the headboard and I notice how he looks pale and feverish. After what he drank last night, there is no surprise he is having a hangover. But at least he’s alert and responding now.



“Yeah, I did.”


“Max…., I to tell you something. Do you think I can have your full attention minute? I need you to listen to the whole story before you say anything. Do you think it’s possible that you can do that?”


Sure, I guess…” his answer his nonchalant, but I know he will listen at least. I can’t believe I’m about to do this. I’ve never told a soul about this, ever. I wonder if he’ll look at me differently after. I wonder if he is going to be mad because I didn’t tell him sooner. This doesn’t only concern only me. I thought I was doing the right thing… Well, now there is no turning back.



“Ok. I’m listening.”



“Ok… I’m not really sure where or how to start. I know something that I think you should know about. I just hope it won’t change the way you look at me.”





“One night, a long time ago, maybe 2 years ago, I got a note from Hank telling me to go to the Parkers.” I could tell he already knew something from the look on Max’s face when I mention his name.




“Hank said he had a few things he wanted me to do for them. I walk up to the door, ready to knock, and I can see straight into the house. What I saw shocked the shit out of me.”



“Jeff was hitting Liz. I couldn’t fucking believe it. She was so tiny and small. It looked like he could break her at any moment. I saw the fear in her eyes. The worse thing is I didn’t do a thing. I stood there like a dumb ass.”




I looked at Max, feeling guilty and hating myself, pleading for him just to understand. I know I should have done something, but it was hard for me.



“The next thing I know Liz is running full blast passed me. It was all a blur. I’m not really sure how long I was standing there, but all of a sudden I’m being dragged in by Hank, my wonderful father. He thought it would be a lot of fun beating me next.”



“Jeff and Hank wanted to know what I saw. I told them I wasn’t going to tell them. That is when Hank pulled a gun out and pointed it at my head. He told me if I wanted me and Liz to live I would keep me mouth shut. If I ever said a word, he would kill both of us.”



“They took turns beating me. That was the last time I let either of them ever touch me again. They put me in the hospital that night. That was the real reason I was out of school for those 2 weeks. I remember Liz was out for the same time.”



“You see, we all have our little secrets.”



I couldn’t look at him when I was telling him all this. I didn’t think I could do it with him looking at me. I don’t want Max to pity me. I was crying because it was a really hard to let my walls down and tell someone such a guarded secret. A secret that could hurt me, and someone else.





“I did it trying to protect Liz. I never said a word. I was always there but, not. After that, I always tried to go when my dad went to visit Jeff. I couldn’t always, but I tried.”







“Max, do you see why I’m telling you this? Do you understand that the way you treated Liz was no better then Jeff and Hank? Why do you think I pulled you off of her? You may not have beaten her face in but the emotional abuse you did to her was just as bad. You knew exactly how to hurt her, Max. You took advantage of that. Max, that’s the only time I’ve ever been disappointed in you.”




“Max, I’m sorry for what you’re going through… I thought you knew what you were doing that night. But you lost control. I didn’t know you would take it that far. Just thinking back to that night gives me the chills.




“Max, I remembered her eyes… you could see the life just drain right out of them the moment you put your hands on her. You killed a part of her, Max. I really don’t know if you can fix that.”






I could see the tears running down his face. I think I could trust him. I always knew I could that wasn’t the problem. It was trying to protect Liz from Hank. I hope this will be a new start to a better friendship..…







Max’s POV






Holy Shit… I can’t believe what I’m hearing right now….




Did Michael just tell me that he was beat by Jeff and Hank? I didn’t have any idea. How could I have been his best friend and not know?




I feel like I've been kicked in the gut. I knew something was up with Michael but I never knew it involved Liz and Jeff too. Hank was bad enough but to have Jeff beating on him too much is almost too much to bear.



"Why didn't you tell me… I didn't know. I’m so sorry." He looks up at me with these stricken eyes. “Michael, I didn’t mean it. I didn’t… I didn’t mean it.”




I wonder if Liz knows that Michael knew about what happened to her. Omg... What I did to her... How could I have treated Liz in that way? I knew that she was tormented by that man but I acted no better then him. Michael is right…




And to top it all off, Liz had two monsters that were torturing her, then I treated her just like they did. I’m beginning to think that there really is no God. If there was why the hell would he put Liz and Michael in these kinds of situations?





“Ok, Michael lets talk about this. I want to know everything. You have to be very truthful with me….Please, I’m begging you.”




“Max I’ve told you everything I saw that night, I promise. You have to understand that I couldn’t tell anyone. I had to do what I could to protect her, and me. I was all alone. I had no one except myself to turn to. I couldn’t tell you. I would have risked getting both Liz and I killed.” Michael pleaded with me.




I knew that Michael was thinking of how much I screwed up my relationship with Liz. I was the only one that had ever touched her in a loving manner. Do you know that no one ever hugged Liz? Not one soul in that house. The stuff that Jeff did was not loving at all. Not the kind of love that you give a daughter. I hated knowing that I was the one to ruin everything for her all over again.




If Liz ever forgives me I will spend my life loving her the way she should be loved. The only problem is getting her to talk to me. I know now that I have to fix this, not only for my own reasons but, because I know Liz is all alone with no one to turn to now.




But where do I even start?




“What am I gonna do, Michael?”






TBC…..

[babylisou]

Heya everybody. It is me posting today. Like you might have read before on the first page, I'm now officially co-writter of this fic. I think we talk about it quite some with Lissou and both agreed that giving me this title was fair. Now, I want to assure you all that this story comes directly and utterly from Lissou's mind. This is not mine and I've not the will or ambition to pretend it's mine. This is all her work, I'm here to help her through it, put into words things she expresses. We work together on the major and minor changes in the fic, but I've to admit most ideas come from her.

So that's it, I'm introducing myself, before posting the new part, which is actually a half part we decided to post tonight so you guys would not have to wait too long

I really enjoyed working on this part and I hope you all will enjoy reading it just as much as Lissou and I enjoyed putting it together.

Now on with the new part and I'm sure Lissou will come and post a little A/N afterward to thank you all for the feedbacks.

Chapter 5A

Liz’s POV

So I’m pregnant… I’m pregnant-… I’m…

I keep repeating the words in my mind, keep chanting them over and over again, but the idea don’t seem to settle in. Looking down at my waist, I can’t see a sign, a trace of a life living within me. I don’t feel any differences; don’t feel more mature or more confused.

I’m carrying Max’s baby. Shouldn’t I be scared? Shouldn’t I be hurt, lost; mad at the man who put me into this situation? ... I can’t.

And I try to wonder, how did it happen? Try to make myself believe the reality of the facts. Max’s child is in me, a part of him. He knew I was on birth control, he probably doesn’t expect me to throw this at his face right now … But should I care? This news is bound to change my life forever, my plans are whacked, my wishes left unfulfilled for the mistake of a single night.

Will he believe me? I don’t even know an answer to this question. Last time I heard from him, he was convinced I was unfaithful, that I was the slut my supposedly father always accused me to be… Maybe he was right all along; I did sleep with Max Asshole Evans after all.

My nose flares and I can barely control my anger. I close my eyes and I can feel my cheeks getting flushed, my hands clutching the soft fabric of cotton sheet on each side of the hospital bed.

“So Miss Parker, do you’ve any questions?”

I quickly open my eyes, trying to gain back some sense of composure before looking straight at the doctor in front of me; trying to appear curious and concern for what’s going on in my body.

“Can you tell if the baby is ok? I was on the pill this whole time? Can it affect the baby’s health?” I asked worriedly. The news hasn’t sink in yet, but I know the questions I’ve to ask. This is something you learn quick and fast … Too fast maybe. The care for a child you haven’t even acknowledged yet; how is it even possible?

“You might want to stop to take your pill now, at this state of the pregnancy there won’t be any effects on the baby. As long as you are here for regular check-ups you should be ok. We need you to come back tomorrow and get some more exams done. Is that ok?” Doctor Steven’s asked.

I nod slowly and know she noticed my reluctance. I’m not disappointment or surprised, but I know she doesn’t take it that way. She leans on the bed beside me, her hands clasp before her.

“Miss Parker, I need to ask you-… Liz do you want this child?”

I don’t move at first. I expected that question. I was asking myself the same one. I don’t know how he will take my silence; I don’t even know how to interpret it myself.
“I- ...” Raising my gaze to hers, I know she can see my hesitation and her comforting inquisitive look convince me. “I want to keep it…”

“Are you sure?” “Yes.” My answer is quick this time and her smile seems reassured. She stands back up and starts scribbling down a silver clip paper holder while he talks.

“We need to get you a regular OBGYN appointment… Dr. Phelps’ service is the best of this hospital; you’ll be well taken care of there.”

She keeps on going for a while, talking about precautions to take, things I should and shouldn’t do, reciting her lesson like a robot. My thought drift back into reveries, in a place I find myself more confused than I was when I first came into this room…

20 minutes later I rush out of the cold white room. I need fresh air, and I need it now. I walked fast past the front desk and the nurses, past the seat lining in against the walls, past Alex and Isabel standing by the glass doors. They can’t open fast enough and I bump against them frantically until it finally slide open.

Warm suffocating air rushes into my lungs and my hands are on my knees, my head hanging low as I breath long and hard. I feel large hands on my hips and Alex is dragging me to a bench nearby, Isabel on our heels, looking more worried than I thought anybody could be for me.

“Liz? Are you ok? What’s wrong? Did something happen in there?” Alex’s alarm voice brings me back to reality and I realise how hard it is going to be. How am I supposed to tell them? I can’t even accept it myself…

“I’m pregnant… I’m... Oh my God…”

I shake uncontrollably and I barely hear Isabel’s gasp and Alex’s sudden intake of breath. His arms are around me in a minute.

“Are you okay?”

I shake my head slowly and I can’t stop the tears anymore, they slide down my cheeks, flooding from my eyes as sobs rack my frail body. I turn into Alex’s comforting embrace and his soothing strokes against my back are slowly calming my franticness.

“It’s gonna be alright… Shhh...”

How can anything ever be alright again? I’m pregnant with Max’s child… Max- He hates me. Do I even exist for him anymore? He has probably moved on by now; it’s been weeks since we last talked.

No, I’m alone, all alone. Will I be strong enough? I’m pregnant… 18 and pregnant. College hasn’t even started and the father of my child lives on the other side of the country, how can he even tell me it’s going to be alright?

I want to scream, yell, scorch. I want to lose myself into blinding anger, drown into madness. My problems then maybe will seem less consequent. But I can’t; I can’t so I push away the fears into a void, into a place in my heart nobody can touch.

Yet the questions remain, fresh and untouched, still unanswered. Will I survive? Will I get through this on my own? And if I do, if I bring this baby to life, what kind of a mother am I gonna be? I don’t even know what a mother is, I haven’t even had a proper one myself…



“What am I gonna do? I don’t know how to take care of a baby...” I sob into Alex’s chest and he doesn’t say a word, neither is Isabel. They both know no answers they’ll give right now will comfort me.

After a few minutes, my heart rate has settled to a healthier beat and I can tell I already feel half human again. Raising my chin up and wiping off the tears tracks from my cheeks, I try to look decent and composed before turning to face my friends again.

“Alex, Isabel, promise me one thing.”

“Anything Liz.” I can tell Isabel is trying her best and it warms my heart to see how much she cares for me, and now the baby.

“I don’t want anyone else to know about this pregnancy. You and I have to be the only one to know… at least for now. Is that ok?”

I look straight into her eyes then; I don’t have anything to fear from Alex, but Isabel is Max’s sister and I know I’m asking her a lot.

“Liz-…You-.. You can’t hide this from him.”

“Isabel please, Max doesn’t have to know… not for now. I want to do this on my own. He made it clear he didn’t want anything to do with me, and I’m gonna respect his wish.”

I’m lying. Lying for her but I can’t do anything else. The truth is, I know if I tell him, Max would act totally different than the asshole I’m depicting right now. I know he’d drop everything to be with me then; he’d try to fix things between us just for the sake of the baby. As much as a loser he can be, Max is responsible too, there is no denying that.

“Please Isabel, this is my decision, can you respect that?” I ask plaintively.

She nods reluctantly and I can see it’s hurting her. It pains me to do that to her, especially after everything she did for me; but I don’t have a choice.

“Ok, if it’s what you want Liz…”

I smile to thank her, wishing to see the same smile mirror mine, but the one she sends me back is presents but weak.

I can feel strong arms wrap around me trying to comfort me. I can feel the love coming off of Alex. I don’t even have to say a word to him because I know he understands that I just need to fix this my way. “Liz I will stand by you no matter what you decide” My eyes start to tear up again as I look into his deep blue eyes. I feel so lucky that I have them right now.

***

Have you ever had a secret that was so deep that you never told a soul… not one person no matter what? I have one of those. I found out about it after I started moving out of my house to live with Alex.

I found a box one night, filled with evidences of something I might have preferred ignored.

Ever since I was a kid I felt an empty space, like something was missing, someone… I never really stopped to think of it; maybe it was just a lake of free time, or just fear to find something I didn’t want to find.

I had a sister. A twin sister actually.

Emily Cherie Smith.

I don’t even remember living with her, or growing up with her. I don’t remember playing as a kid with her. But I always knew somehow that she was there. A little part of me that died too early to stay more than a quiet memory into my conscious.

I let her down. I let her die, let her suffer a sickness I couldn’t be taken responsible for but obviously was. I never thought of it, but now I wonder: could it be the key to all my tortured years? Was her sudden death the reason of my miserable life?

I always thought my parents hold me responsible for a thing I didn’t know about. They got divorced soon after Emily’s death, like the grief of their only loved child had broken off the string keeping them together.

How could they hold me responsible for her death, I don’t know. But I never had a chance to understand it. My real father left before I was able to keep in my memory a blur image of his feature; my mum started drinking soon after my younger sister’s birth and was either too drunk or simply unwilling to unwrap this mystery with me.

What if she had survive? Would my life have been any different? Would have my parents divorce? Would I ever have met the man who broke my innocence to piece and made me live days of hell?

Why did she have to die?

I just hope one day I’ll be able to forgive myself. I’m responsible of my own deprived life and ruining others….

But this baby… this baby is my second chance at life. My revenge on misery. I can start over, never looking back at the past. As hard as it is to admit, I carry in me a part of the man I love. A tiny part that will grow and resemble him. And even if he isn’t here with me to relish this moment of pure bliss that the realisation of carrying a life is, my joy is so that I can’t complain.



TBC…

[mmcherron]

Author Notes: I would like to thank Ann my wonderful co-author she worked very hard at getting this new part to this chapter fast. You are the best girl. I love the changes that you added to it. I really don’t think this chapter would have been as great without you…..Love Ya……

I also want to thank dreaminginpurple for last night. We stayed up very late beta-ing this fic. You are the best. I also want to thank strawbehry shortcake for the ideas and brainstorms when I get stuck. Also for giving it a second look over. Both of my betas are the best….

I would like to get all of my readers a great big hug you all have stuck with my fic. I love the feedback…It keeps me wanting to write faster and better. I love the feedback. Ann and I love to hear form you all. Lurkers we all know that you are here too so thank you too…..

Thank you for the wonderful feedback:
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Part 5b

Isabel POV


What should I do? What are my options? Do I even have any choices? Who am I to decide what's best for either Max or Liz?

All those questions run through my head, jumble like a train wreck and I can't find an answer to any of them.

I know Max should know about his baby, he deserves to know. His behavior toward Liz was so bad though, he was so hurtful to her. But it's is his baby too, he has to know.


But I promised… I promised Liz I'd keep her secret and I'm not gonna break my word. I can't imagine letting her go through this all alone. She needs me and Alex, and I don't want to jeopardize our friendship. She deserves for us to respect her wishes.


What about my parents? Should I tell them? We can't hide it from them like Max. They don't live on the other side of the country and Liz won't be able to hide it from them for too long…


“Isabel, what do you want to order? I know you girls must be hungry.” Alex’s voice breaks through my train of thought and I jumped uncharacteristically.


He stares at me quizzically and I have to look away. I can’t meet his eyes right now; I know he can see right through me and his next words tells me I’m not mistaken in this point.


"You have to stop letting this eat you up, Iz. We're going to be here for Liz. I'm planning on being here every moment." He says reassuringly, rubbing my arms soothingly. "Everything's gonna be fine."


"I know, Alex. I was just thinking about my parents. Does she want to hide it from them too?" I whisper conspiratorially as I see Liz coming out of the bathroom and walking into the kitchen.


Alex doesn't have the time to answer. She's at our side in no time, and unusually happy.


"So what are we doing?" She asked cheerfully.


"Ordering in Chinese food!" I say a little too quickly.


Alex looks at me with a frown before standing up and grabbing his jacket.


"Well I guess, Chinese it is then!"


****


Liz left the kitchen as soon as Alex was out the door. She went to take a shower, but she can’t fool me. Despite her supposedly good mood earlier, I know she isn't feeling good right now. I can hear her anguished cries coming out muffled from behind the bathroom door.


I feel incredibly helpless right now. I can't begin to imagine how she must be feeling herself.


There's no doubt Max fucked up his relationship with Liz. He was so stupid! Now he might even lose his child right along with her.


I really can't blame her. He was evil that night. I heard some of the things he said to her. I couldn't even look at him the next morning at breakfast. But I know he was just as broken as she was. So why did he do it?


I look up at the bathroom door, it's open, but now Liz's door is closed. She must be in there. I knock softly, opening the door a crack. "Liz? Are you okay? Do you want some company?"


"Sure, Isabel. You can come in."


I can see the tear tracks on her cheeks even as she wipes at them furiously. A nervous laugh escapes her lips. "Must be the hormones already," she says, pointing to her puffy red eyes.


I don't say anything, but I'm pretty sure she can read my expression and knows I don't believe it. Her shoulders slumped forward in defeat.


“I just realized I can't go to Harvard anymore. Maybe… maybe I should stay here, you know. With Alex… do you think he'll mind if I do?" Liz asked twisting her hands on her lap self-consciously.



"Liz, I don't think Alex would have it any other way." I grab her hand and clasp it between mine, offering a reassuring smile. "Or… or you could stay with me? Liz, my parents can help you." My last words are desperate, but she obviously doesn't see it this way and jumped from the bed, pacing the room nervously.


"Isabel, no! You promised! I don't want them to know!"


She's crying again and that's the last thing I wanted, so I drag her back to sit on the bed next to me.


"Shhh, Liz it's okay, I won't tell." I reach over and pull her into my arms until her crying subside.


"Girls, I'm back! And bearing food!"


Liz’s POV


It's been two days. I can't believe I've known for that long and yet the idea seems as surreal as before. I can't get it into my head that in less than 8 months I'll give birth to a child; a brand new life created by the love Max and I once shared…. Created by the love I still have for him…


Why is this so hard to accept? It's not like I don't have all the signs already; cramps, mood swings and, God please help me, morning sickness.


I look down at the two pieces of toasts in front of me with a disgusted groan. My stomach lurches at the sight of Alex gulping down 3 eggs and a couple of glasses of orange juice in a matter of minutes. What makes him so damn happy and bouncy this early in the morning? It just makes me want to kill him…


"Liz, can you be ready in about a half an hour? You look awful. Did you sleep at all?" He asks with concern and I can't help but rolling my eyes and slap my hand to the hardwood table in shear frustration. He jumps on his seat and looks at me with fearful eyes. Finally I take a breath and smile, feeling strangely relieved.


"I'm fine… I'm just FINE… I've just been throwing my guts up all damn morning, I lost my keys, and I can't even find that damn registration form you gave my yesterday… How can it not be a wonderful day?"


Before he can answer, I stood up and stomped out of the kitchen. I can't stand being around people right now.


******


"Do you know what classes you want to take already?"

My mood has softened since this morning but as we sat in the car driving to the community college, I can feel Alex is being careful. I probably freaked him out this morning, but I don't care. I'm a pregnant woman.


"I guess I'll see when I get there… I've some ideas…"


Alex reaches over and grabs my hand, rubbing my palm soothingly. "Everything's gonna be fine Liz."


I stopped counting the number of time he said that sentence after a few days. It has become his motto since we came back from the hospital, and I have to admit, his caring words sometimes drive me insane.


When we get there, he grabs my elbow and walks me to the front door with a determinate speed.


"Ok Liz, let’s get you enrolled. This is gonna be great! We can take classes together and I can cheat off you and keep an eye on you at the same time!" I roll my eyes at him; he can be such a dork.


It takes less time than I had expected to get me registered. The room isn't crowded and I'm at the front of the line. After a couple of arguments with Alex, who insisted on being in some of my classes, and a few copies of my ID, I'm all set. The counselor hands me my schedule and I'm done.


On Monday, Wednesday and Fridays I have Photography in the mornings, Biology before lunch and then Lab in the afternoon. On Tuesdays and Thursdays I only have Math, English and History.


This is starting out good… I smile as I walk through the Hall…




***************



The day is over in no time. Despite a rough beginning, the rest of my time spent at the community college was pretty much good. Photography was a class I had wanted to take long ago but never had a chance to. It's interesting and I feel like I might like it very much.


I ate a quick lunch with Alex and then we agreed to meet outside in the parking lot by his car once we are both done with our classes. So that's where I am now, waiting for him, sitting on the hood of his car and swinging my legs back and forth, feeling everything like a young student and nothing like a mother to be.


A smile is on my face as I watch the flow of young people exiting the large building. Looking down at my watch I don't see the man nearing the car and yanking me from my spot, strong arms wrapping painfully around my waist from behind and holding my hands down to my hips.


I yelp in fear but my cries are cut short by the rough hand cupping my jaw suddenly turning my neck so I can see his face. My blood froze, my eyes widening in fright.


Hank…..


I mumble pleading behind his skin, scratching my teeth against his finger so he’d let me go, let me breath. But he does not and tears start pooling at my eyes. Nobody can see us from down here; I’m lost…


“Well, well, well. If isn’t my little Lizzy all grown up.” His voice is sharp and screeching to my ears, his breath hot against my neck. It’s smell tainted with alcohol. I had almost forgotten the roughness of his voice…


After a few minutes I manage to bite his hand off and he let go with a yelp. “You bitch!”


“Stop hurting me… stop…” I cry in despair, trying to free my body from his still tight grip. He yanks at my hands, my arms flailing against his strong chest.


But he doesn't stop; instead I feel his hand connecting with my cheek in a loud slap. My skin burns under his palm, my eyes already swelling and I can feel my lip has been torn.


"What do you want? ... Stop ..." I don't want to ask, but I have no choice other than to comply to his every wish right now. I have a baby to protect. "Is it money?"


"I don't need money you slut, I want you." His laugh makes me shiver to the core, and all I can do is stare at him, until my vision blurs. There is no way I'm getting out of this. Where is Alex? Where is everybody when I need them …?


Before I have a time to answer my own question, he drags me away from the car. Where? I don’t know. I try to fight against him, hopefully catching somebody’s attention, but nobody seems to be around. Where have they gone? The crowd that was here earlier? I’m alone, all alone, and I’ve got only one thought in mind: the baby.


It occurs to me suddenly that its there. Whatever it is, a boy, a girl, I'm its mother and I'm its only chance. I've to protect my baby and that's what will drive me to get out of this.


With this thought in mind only, I yank away his hand and my foot stomps at his with such force he loses his balance. Nothing can hold me back now, and so I kick hard, too hard maybe, but I don’t care. He’s on the ground and I hit him. For what he did to me, for what he did to Michael; for what he was going to do to my baby.


The last thing I recall is the cool taste of blood in my mouth, his unconscious body at my feet, my knees hitting the pavement at his side and a lean body catching my fall as I collapse.


*********


I wake up lost and disoriented. I blink against the bright lights and I hear whispering voices all around me. One sounds agitated and I recognize Alex's intone. I wish to go back into the comforting darkness I was in just a few minute before. There nobody can hurt me, I'm safe. There's no haunting face of my torturer.


But my mind is quicker and I shot from the bed, trying to ignore the throbbing pain in my head. My hands are flat against my belly and I look around in despair, wishing to catch somebody’s attention, anybody’s.


“My baby…”


My voice is a slur and I have to lay back down as a wave of dizziness hits me. A hand eases me back against the mattress and I see Alex's worried face.


"Liz, are you okay?" His frown is deep as he looks at me. "What happened? They said some guy found you with Hank. Sheriff Valenti is coming to talk to you."



“No, no -… I don’t want- Alex, my baby-.”


"Is okay…" His hand is running soothingly against my face and I have to fight the urge to wince as his finger brushes against my sore temple.


“Who found me?” I finally ask; my eyes drifting close as I feel exhaustion taking me again. But I don’t want to fall asleep.


"Kyle Valenti… I don't know him. He's the sheriff's son. I'm so sorry, Liz. I was late. I should-"


"Alex, don't..." I cut his guilty thoughts wearily. "I don't blame you." Before I can protest, he gently eases me in his arms, rocking back and forth and I can feel his tears soaking down my hospital gown.


"Miss Parker Can I have a few words with you" The Sheriff's voice cuts through our tender moment. It's not the first time I've met him. He was there for my emancipation, and I know for sure he's a good man.


I nod tiredly. I know it is something he has to do even though he seems reluctant to bother me. He stands there in an awkward silence.


"So, I heard your son saved me… You'll thank him for me?" I smile tiredly, trying to ease the tense mood.


He nods almost shyly before taking a seat on a chair aside the bed, taking my hand in his large one. My eyes drift there, and I look up to meet his gaze.


"Miss Parker, I know this is really hard for you right now to talk about it, but you don't have to worry anymore, Hank Guerin is in prison now. We have several witnesses, you won't even have to get a lawyer or anything; he's already history…. Though, there is something I must talk to you about. I should have done it when you received your emancipation, but I made a mistake… have you thought about seeing a counselor Miss Parker?"


I sigh, rolling my eyes upward. Talking about my problems is the last thing I want right now. “Sheriff, like you said, Hank and – and everything that happened before -… all this is history, it’s in the past, and I don’t want to talk about it.”


"I will ask you to reconsider Liz. My son, Kyle, the one who found you, he's my adopted son. He was 8 when I found him, he knows what its like, and if not a counselor, then at least try talking to him… please…"


The moment he says those words, I feel my eyes misting with tears. Looking away, I know maybe it is the only solution. Maybe I need to talk about what has been killing me for so long… Maybe for once, I need a friend…who understands…….



TBC…

[mmcherron]

Author Notes: I want to thank my 2 beta’s that stuck through this with me and all of their encouraging words and help. Thank you everyone for being here even though I made you all wait for this chapter I hope you will like it.

Tuesday (Dreaming in purple) you stayed up with me last night working on it with me until late thank you so much. You are such a great help. I really don’t think I could have even finished this chapter if you haven’t told me to keep on trying. Love ya….

Steph (Strawbehry Shortcake) you had this ready and done by the time I woke up. You rock girl…I love the notes you gave me…You are always ready and willing to help me through the brainstorming. I couldn’t do it without you. Love ya

Most of all you the readers have make this all worth wild. I never thought I would get this much feedback and support from my readers. I really appreciate it. You all have made my want to continue writing. I want to thank all the ones that have left awesome feedback. Remember that if you ever have any questions you can always PM me I would love to answer any for you. Hey you lurkers please let me know what you think too. I love to answer everyone. I usually pm everyone who post feedback if I ever forgotten one I’m very sorry. Love ya all….Smooches.

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Chapter 6







Max’s POV

Have you ever wondered where you would be if you never did or said something? Can you believe that I think about that everyday? I said something that I wish I could take back every moment of everyday. I ruined something that was precious to me. Now all I can do is pick up the little pieces of my heart and try to put it back together.


***********

"What the Fuck!"

Have you Ever had one of those mornings when mother nature finally drags your ass awake, but what you see when you finally open your eyes scars you for life?

That happened to me this morning. I couldn't believe my eyes. Someone had to be playing a cruel trick on me. I did a double take when I opened my eyes and saw a half-naked Tess in bed with me. What the hell did we do last night?!

She's laying on my arm! I swear to god I just want to gnaw it off and run for my life. What the….? She's wearing one of my jerseys! Shit, I bet she just jinxed the season for us.

I pull the covers up and look. Whew… thank god I still have my boxers on, but her hand is way to close for my comfort. I quickly pick her hand up off my thigh and fling it.

I can't believe this. All ready this day is starting out as shitty as possible. I know that Tess wasn't here when I fell asleep last night. How the hell did she end up in my bed? I slowly slide my arm out from under her neck trying my damn hardest not to wake the sleeping monster. I hate Michael and Maria's stupid fricken parties.

We're supposed to be leaving to go back to Roswell today for Thanksgiving. I've got to get up and get ready. Shit, I so need a shower after she's been touching me. I know I've been fairly nice to Tess and all, but please, she knows that I wouldn't touch her, and definitely not in my bed!

As I'm trying to scrub every area that Tess might of touched, I'm starting to feel the pressure of going back home. I'll be seeing Liz again. I'm really not to sure how I really feel about that. I put her through a lot of pain.

I've tried to pick up the phone to call her, but what the hell do I say…. Hum…sorry for calling you a slut….Can you please take me back…. I'd really sound like a jackass.

I can't forgive myself for doing that to her. I'm not ready too, I have to figure out where I went wrong.

I can hear Tess moving around as I'm walking through the hall. I have to talk to Michael and Maria about finding Tess in my bed, because that is just plain cruel punishment. I so didn't need to wake up like that. I think I'm scarred for life.

I know that she is Maria's roommate and all, but this is getting way out of hand. I don't want to deal with this crap. I just want to get done with this year and try to get my life back. My classes have been great. They keep me from thinking of Liz... sometimes. I'm always wondering if she is ok over in Harvard. Is she seeing some guy? Does she think about me as much as I do about her?

When I get back to my room, I see that Tess is gone. All I can think is thank god I dodged that bullet. I know I have to talk to her, but right now I'd rather pack. We are leaving soon to see everyone back at home, and I can feel my stomach starting to tie up in knots. I wonder if maybe Liz just might be back visiting her Mom and sisters too.


That thought got quickly wiped away. I know exactly how she feels about holidays and her family. Guilt started to rear its ugly head. I know now that I have a part in her sadness too. I hope one day to do something about it, but I just don't know how yet. How do I make it up to her? I know that only time can tell and heal the wound that I'm sure I have brought upon her.

I do have one thing going for me. I've been getting great grades. I love all of my classes. I even got a part-time job at a little coffee shop. I have 2 study groups that I attend. So, at least I'm doing good with my studies. I also have football practice to keep me busy.

I walk into Michael's room to tell him that I'm ready and get his ass out of bed, and see that Maria is naked and still asleep while Michael is packed and almost ready.

"Max, be quite, she is already packed. We don't want to wake her unless we have too. She got really drunk last night." I could see Michael pleading with me.

"Fine, but you have to explain why I woke up with the crazy bitch in bed with me. I know for sure I went to bed alone, Michael! You have to talk to Maria about this shit! I don't want to see her in my bed again. If I ever find her sleeping in one of my jerseys and in bed with me, there will be hell to pay! I won't be held accountable to my actions. Oh, yeah one more thing, you know I have to burn those sheets now right? And you are replacing them."


********

As we start out on our long drive to Roswell I'm sitting in the back, quiet with my thoughts. I can't stop thinking about the first time that I really saw what happen with Liz and her father. The father that was supposed to protect and love her turned out to be an abusive bastard.

I remember to this day what I was doing. I was sitting on my bed reading Romeo and Juliet, one of my favorites, when I heard a noise outside. It sounded like someone crying. I looked out, and down on the ground was Liz.

I ran out the backdoor hoping I didn't scare her. I couldn't believe what she looked like. It tore at my heart. How could someone beat her the way that he did.

I couldn't even get near her at first. I had to hold her down and try to get her to look at me I saw the damage that was left on her face, and I knew it was someone bigger and stronger that did it. She looked like someone had beaten her with a bat, not a fist. I picked her up and brought her to my room. I had to try and get her to talk to me. What I couldn't believe was that I never figured it out before.

I can tell you now that nothing could have prepared me for what we talked about that night. She made me promise not to say anything. That was one promise I intended to keep. I couldn't get Liz to tell me much, but what I managed to get was enough. I found out that Jeff, her Stepdad was beating her. He treated her like a servant, making her do everything, and it was never good enough.

I can't believe that I didn't see it sooner. There has always been something off about the ways her Stepdad treated her and her sisters. I can say that now because I'm older, but back then I didn't know. I felt guilty, like I let her down someway.

She told me that she ran away this time because she thought he was going to do something worse to her. Right then I felt like someone had grabbed my heart and squeezed it. I wanted to go straight over there and kill him. That night Liz fell asleep in my arms.

She told me right before she fell asleep that the only place that she felt safe was with me. She told me to hold her and never to let her go. I did just that, but in the morning I couldn't let her go back.


Flashback

“Liz? Please stay with me.” I hate feeling like I can’t protect her.

"Max, you know things will only get worse for me if I stay out longer." She pleaded with me. "I have to go now. I know that I'm already in big trouble."

"Please Liz, let me at least take care of you. You can go back later, I promise, after you heal." I can't stop thinking that I might never see her again. I won't be able to hold her in my arms because that psycho father of hers will hurt her worse than I can imagine.

I watch Liz putting on her shoes with difficultly as she winces in pain. I know that she is hurting more than she's letting on. I reach out to her to stop her, having to try and make her understand what I'm feeling.

"Liz, I can't lose you again, please be careful. But, I understand that you could be in more trouble if you stay. Please come to me if you need to… If he touches you in ways he is not suppose too." I caress her bruised cheek with my thumb, and I see the fear and sadness in her eyes. I can't take it anymore. I grab her in a hug and can't stop crying, as I start begging her to stay again.

She finally pulls away and tells me to take care and to keep my distance, because she might have made it worse coming to me. She begged me to run if he comes around. She made me promise.

"I have to know that you will be ok, Max, because if anything happens to you, I think that I might just die."

With those last words ringing in my ears she jumps out my window and runs down the street.


Present…

I can feel all these feelings stirring around in me. I'm anxious to see everyone again. But, at the same time there is sadness. There is one person that I want to see the most and she just might not be there.

I deserve everything that I have coming to me. I know that. I've started to realize that I have to grow up before I can ever approach Liz. I know that I have to explain myself to her, but what do I say exactly?

Shoot, I'm not even sure she will be there. She probably has a whole new life with new friends and a new lover. If she does then I will have to be happy for her. With all the pain that she had to endure she deserves it.

It's me that should have to be alone. To remember everything. I should be the one to roam this Earth with a broken heart. I did this to myself. I really should have been listening to my inner self, not the guys around me. But… I did that to me and to her. I can't get over it. Why was it that was so easy for me to just turn on her?

I think I've finally come up with a reason why I feel so bad. All I've been feeling since I found out her secret is guilt. Maybe I still feel guilty that I let everything happen to her. I know that there was nothing that I could have done, but I definitely made it worse for her.

I wouldn't take no for an answer. I remember that after she left that day I didn't see her in school for 2 weeks. No call, no nothing. I was going crazy trying to think of ways to see if she was ok. But, little did I know, when Liz came home that morning, she did get a surprise from her Stepfather. He gave a repeat from the night before, but worse.

My mother got a call from Nancy Parker. I picked up on the other end as quickly as I could. I could tell that something wasn't right. All I remember hearing her say was "I think she is dead."

I could feel my heart break right then and there. I quickly hung up the phone and walk over to my Mom. I had to find out what happened. I knew that this was all my fault. After my Mom hung up, the phone I asked her who was on the phone. What she tells me surprised me the most.

She told me, that Nancy just said that her Mom might be sick and is in the hospital. I remember thinking what the? Why are parents always covering up for each other? Is it like some kind of unwritten oath?

I remember also that during those two weeks my mother was out a lot. Still to this day, I can't get a straight answer from her about that phone call. I never really gave up on knowing what happened during that time, but no one will ever talk about it.

Even Liz. She never mentioned where or what happened during those two weeks that she was gone. When she came back to school afterwards, I noticed that there was something different about her. She was even more broken than before.

She would be so closed off. Every time I'd walk even in the same direction as her, she'd run in the other direction. I really started to wonder if anyone could get through to her.

"Max… Max… Come in Max. I know you are there." Michael said sarcastically.

"What Michael? What do you want?" I snap at him. God I wish I could just melt into the seats of my car. 'Be one with leather… Be one with the leather…' I keep chanting in my head. Shit, it didn't work…

"Max it's getting late and we all need to rest and eat. Let's stop at the next exit."

"Fine Michael, what ever you want. Just let me know when we are there. After we eat I will drive next. Ok?"

"That's fine, Max. You can now go back to your dream world. " Michael said laughing. Man, I have no idea how I stayed his friend for so long.

I can see the stars out tonight. The stars always remind me of Liz. Shit… I have to pull myself out of this. I really need some help. Maybe I can talk to Isabel about it.

She was always good at helping me with Liz before. But that was before I turned into that ugly monster. I have to at least apologize to Liz if I see her. That at least is a start in the right direction, right?

I hope that I can talk to Isabel about this. I know that I didn't actually leave on good terms with her. Now that I really think about it, I haven't heard from Isabel for awhile….. Maybe a few weeks……... Weird……I hope everything is ok.


TBC……..

[mmcherron]

A/N: Hi there I know FINALLY…It took me a long time to get this one chapter right. I would like to thank all of you for the long wait. I hope I don’t disappoint you to much with it.

I would like to warn you about this chapter there is a little bit of everything in it. There is Nookie, Violence and a lot of everything else. If you can take it please don’t read it.

I would like to thank Ms. Anonymous for taking the time to read it and help me with some of the parts. I would like to say thank you to my wonderful beta’s (Dreaming in Purple and Strawberry Shortcake) that took the time to beta it.and everyone else that been bugging me to post and write it….Jazzy and Mary..this is for you.

My final thank you is to all the bumps and readers that left me feedback it is great to know what everyone feels about my fic.

Smooches

A/N: I had to make a few changes because I can't use Serena's name so I had to change it and I made a few other changes. I hope you all like it.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*


Chapter 7

Liz POV

I woke up to the feeling of fingers caressing my skin, leaving tingles everywhere they touch. When I opened my eyes there are beautiful amber eyes staring down at me. Max has the deepest, soulful eyes. His gaze always sucks me in.

His fingers continue to run over my arm, across my throat, then slowly down the valley of my breasts. He starts tugging at the hem of my shirt trying to get it off, so I sat up to make it easier for him. As he takes it off, I look into his eyes and I can see all the love he has for me.

I help take off his shirt and he gasps as the cool summer night air hit his naked skin. When Max looks down at my naked breasts I start getting excited. He lifts my arms above my head as he slowly begins kissing his way down my neck to my chest. I can feel my body react to him as his warm lips and hot tongue work their magic on me. His kisses are like fluttering butterfly wings as he slowly works his way over my skin.

Max stops when he reaches my breasts and stares at them in awe, then he begins to softly caress them. Ever so slowly, he kisses one of my nipples and I moan loudly. My body arches into him, and I feel his arousal pressing into me. I get even more excited. My body is on fire.

I slowly reach down and slip my hand into his boxers wrapping my fingers around the full length of his hard member. Max hisses out my name. I feel him jerk in my hand, before he starts his assault on my senses once again.

He begins working his way lower down my stomach and I grow hot with anticipation. His torturous kisses are driving me crazy and I just want to throw him down and have my way with him, but he's in complete control as he slowly works his way lower.

When he begins pulling off my panties and kissing every inch of skin that is revealed I think that I might die. But he cruelly leaves me wanting, taking his kisses to my inner thighs and lightly sucking on my soft sensitive skin. I shiver and sigh in pleasure. I feel his hot tongue licking its way slowly closer to the one area that I want him the most. It feels like time has actually slowed down.

His tongue swirls over my skin repeatedly, moving slowly closer and closer to my center, teasing me. I can’t stop my hips from moving to the intense pleasure, as I feel my hands reaching for him, my fingers tangle in his soft hair. I try to drag him closer to my heat but he won't let me. He’s set on driving me past the point of sanity.

I feel Max’s fingers caress my curls as he slips one into me… moments before his lips cover my clitoris… and he sends me flying through space… shuddering and screaming I cry out his name.

Mmmaaa…

Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep...


I open my eyes and the first thing that I notice is that Max isn't there and I have all my clothes on… but I can still feel his lips and hands on me. Sighing in disappointment, I slowly drag my sorry ass out of bed.

I can’t believe that I had another one of those dreams about Max?! He’s haunting me even in my sleep. It has to be the hormones. I can’t believe how horny I am! I’m either throwing up my guts or I’m having sex dreams. And to top it off, today is Thanksgiving. I have to go to the Evans’ house for Thanksgiving dinner. What the hell was I thinking agreeing to go over there?

All of a sudden I start to feel queasy, so I run to the bathroom because I'm going to throw up again.

"Oh, the joys of being pregnant, and alone," I mutter to myself.

I hear Isabel walking around in the house. I'm supposed to be getting dressed, but I'm just not feeling that great today. My body is still on fire from the dream I had. I slowly get up off the bathroom floor and jump in to the shower, because I know that Isabel will start going psycho if I'm not out of here soon.

I love the way the shower sooths my skin and makes me feel half way human. I'm so nervous today because this is the first time I will have seen Max in months. I guess that is why I have been having these crazy dreams. I'm terrified of telling him that I'm pregnant.

I finally agreed to tell Max that I was pregnant after a long talk with Kyle. Kyle has been the greatest friend.

After Hank attacked me at school, Kyle took me to the hospital. I felt so alone and scared, so I started talking to him. We became quick friends, and now we're almost inseparable. Because of Hank I was starting to close myself off from everyone.

Alex and Isabel were trying to help me get through it, but they don't know what it is like to fear someone to that degree. They called the Sheriff to see if maybe talking to Kyle might help me. I think it did.

Everyone was being so great the whole week after the accident. I was scared to sleep alone and Alex and Isabel were right there for me every night. They also made sure that I was taking care of myself.

At first talking to him felt awkward, but then one night I woke up screaming and Alex couldn't calm me down. I had been dreaming that Hank and my stepfather were coming after me, but the worst part was that I saw Max coming after me too. I woke up screaming and I couldn't stop crying. Alex called Kyle. He came over and both he and Alex just held me the whole night. Somehow Kyle got me to calm down and I fell asleep. Since that night things changed between us, we became best friends. We are always there for each other whenever we need it.


I found out that Kyle’s life and mine weren’t so different from each other. His mother use to hit him… like my stepfather use to hit me. We all have skeletons in our closets. It’s very scary that Kyle and I have similar ones. Kyle was adopted by Sheriff Valenti when he was 8. I’m happy to have him as a friend. He made me want to live and smile again.

“Liz. Get your pretty pregnant ass out of the shower,” Isabel screams.

“Ok, ok…I’m coming.” I yell back. I have to stop thinking so much…



********

I think I’m going to throw up again. I will soon be seeing the father of my baby, I’m so nervous it feels like my stomach is doing the bunny hop. I’m sitting here watching Isabel and Ava argue over what I should wear tonight. I look at them as I taste the bile coming up, and I stand up and quickly run to the bathroom. I really don’t think I can do this. I feel the tears coming as the image of how Max was the last time I saw him flashes into my mind. It was right before he left me


I lay my head on the cool rim of the bathtub and close my eyes. I just want to disappear, just to forget my life. I hate living with all the secrets that have become my life. Secrets are what ruined me. I still have one big secret that I haven’t told a soul.

Michael and I have a secret that no one knows about… even Max doesn’t know. I never told him because I didn’t want him to know what happened to me the day I went home after staying the night at his house. It was the worse thing that has ever happened to me.

I will always have scars from it, the physical ones and the emotional. I think those are deeper than the scars that you can see. After I came home from running to Max that night, I got a beating that I will never forget. It was so bad I was in the hospital for 2 weeks.

When I got into the house I thought that no one was home because all the cars where gone, but little did I know the monster was waiting for me. As soon as I walked into the front door I was punched in the face and knocked to the ground. He pulled me up by my tank top, ripping it, before backhanding me across the face. The pain I felt was nothing I could explain. I remember him calling me a slut as he threw me across the room. I hit the wall hard and as I was trying to get up he kicked me a few times.

I can’t remember much of what happened after that. Everything is still a blur. Then a day later I woke up in the hospital. The thing is I can’t remember why he stopped hitting me? Did he leave me? Did someone stop him? Was my Mom there? Those are the questions that I know will never be answered.

When I woke up at the hospital I felt like I’d been run over by a truck. I could hardly see out of my right eye. I had a few broken ribs. I had about 30 stitches on my back and a few on my face. I guess I went through the glass table that we had at the house. At least I didn’t have a broken arm or leg so I still could run.

The worst thing about being there was that no one visited me… not once. I was all alone. I was so bored one day that I went looking around, and that’s when I saw Michael in the hospital too. He was in another room on the same floor as me. He looked almost like me. I knew then that I wasn’t the only one that had a fucked up life.

Even though things were bad for us, Michael and I always kinda looked out for each other. I always noticed Michael watching over me. I was also looking out for him because I knew just how bad Hank was. Michael and I had a secret friendship. I remember Michael would always be waiting for me until the end of my shift and would always close with me. Kind of like he was my bodyguard.

What happened between me and Michael is my secret; I will take it to the grave, because it is not my secret to tell. I hope he is doing better for himself. I know that he is Max’s roommate, so I think he will be ok, and he has Maria too.

Max knew just about every secret I had. After he left, I felt my whole world fall apart, and I still feel like it is today. I hate feeling so alone and damaged. How can I raise a baby being so messed up inside? I feel like I was used by the one person I thought would always be there for me. Now look at me; I’m a single white female, trying to start my first year in College, and I’m a mother-to-be.


****

I hear someone at the door and I see Isabel peek around it. I hate sitting here on the floor, looking like a fool, but… I just can't do this. I'm scared.

"Liz, are you ok?"

"I'm scared to see him, Iz."

"Liz, you have to pull yourself together, sweetie. I know that Max is going to be there, but so are all of us. You trust us right?" Isabel asked.

"Yeah, I do."

"Good. Then let's get you ready, so we can get this over with." Isabel said dragging my ass up off the floor.

I feel bad for dragging Isabel into all of this. Max is her family and I made her promise not to say anything to him. I think that's why she is so insistent about me going tonight. I'm planning on telling Max everything.

*********

We just picked up Kyle, and now we're all headed over to the Evans' house. My heart skips a few beats as we pull into the Evans’ driveway.

I'm nervous as hell as I get out of the car. Kyle and Ava each take hold of one of my arms for support, and we walk into the house.

The first thing I do is look around for Max. I'm slightly dazed when Diane pulls me into a big hug, and then ushers us all into the living room. I vaguely hear something like 'The food will be ready in about 20 minutes', but it's a bit foggy because I can't seem to focus.

Diane says that Max and Philip are in the den watching the game and that they should be out soon. Isabel asks her Mom if she needs any help with dinner, and her and Alex follow Diane into the kitchen. Kyle leads Ava over to sit on the loveseat, and all of a sudden I'm left standing here alone.

It feels so suffocating being back in this house. Seeing everything brings back memories. Some of them happy times I'd forgotten. Max and I had been on top of the world here, but he ripped it all away from me without any explanation.

I glance over at Kyle and Ava and see them kissing. I can't help but smile a little. I'm glad Kyle's happy. Ava is a great girl. They have been wonderful trying to help me get over everything. They just started going out not long ago, and with Alex and Iz, they've been trying to get me to go out with them all, but I always feel like a fifth wheel.

I hear noises coming from the hallway, and when I look up those beautiful amber eyes I know so well capture my eyes. Max and I stand there frozen, just staring at each other. I hear Diane call everyone to dinner and relief washes over me. Thankful for the rescue, I quickly turn and hurry to go to the dinning room.

I sit down at the long table with Kyle and Ava sitting next to me, and Alex and Isabel sat down across from me. Max still hasn't come in yet.

My heart is pounding. What if he looks at me and can tell that I'm pregnant? I haven't gained that much weight, but I'm showing a bit because I'm small. The clothes that Isabel and Ava picked out hide it well though.

As soon as my eyes catch a glimpse of Max walking in my heart stops. God, he's still as hot as ever. I hear someone else coming down the stairs. I'd recognized that voice anywhere… Michael. I see him coming through the dinning room doors with Maria hot on his tail talking just as fast as ever.

"Michael!"

I jump up and give him a hug and quickly grab Maria soon after. We do the girly dancing hug that all girls love to do when they've missed someone.

"I didn't know you were going to be here, Michael. I'm so happy to see you. I see that Maria has been taking good care of you. I'd like you to meet my friends. This is Kyle and Ava." I nervously point them out and can feel Max's eyes burning into the back of my head.

"Nice to meet you all," Michael and Maria say together like twins. I laugh a bit because seeing Michael with Maria makes me feel good. At least he's happy and loved, and I know Maria won't put up with his shit.

"Everyone let's sit down and begin dinner" Diane says, and we all begin taking our seats.

Kyle sees that I'm really stressing out and he grabs my hand and starts rubbing it, trying to get me to relax. I look up and see Max looking at us with his mouth open in shock. I can tell that this isn't going to be good.

"What the hell, Liz?! Why would you come to my house with your boyfriend?! I want you out of my house now! And never to come back!" Max screamed, rage distorting his handsome face.

He was yelling at me like he hated me. I couldn't stop my tears from falling. I can't believe he said that to me. Why is he treating me like this? And to think I was going to tell him that I'm pregnant with his baby! I'll never make that mistake again! I can't be in this house anymore. It feels like the walls are closing in on me. I can see everyone's eyes on me as I run out of the house.

As soon as the cool fresh air hits my face I take off running in the direction of my house. I never want to go back there ever. I can hear Kyle screaming for me, but I don't turn back. I have to get away… far away.

How could I have been so stupid to think that just maybe Max might have changed? I just hope that I'm strong enough to be a single parent.

TBC…