For The Love Of Dancing(M/L,M/M Mature,AU) A/N 1/20/07 [WIP]

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mmcherron
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For The Love Of Dancing(M/L,M/M Mature,AU) A/N 1/20/07 [WIP]

Post by mmcherron »

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Thank you Crashdown_51 for the wonderful Banner

Title: For The Love Of Dancing

Author: mmcherron AKA Lissalou72

Disclaimer: The characters of "Roswell" belong to Jason Katims, Melinda Metz, WB, and UPN. They are not mine and no infringement is intended. I’m just borrowing them for a few so please don’t sue me because I have nothing to give.

Couples: Max & Liz, Maria & Michael mostly with a bit of Alex & Isabel This is AU sorry no aliens. Mostly centered around Maria and Liz POV's

Rating: Mature For Now

Summary: Liz and Maria have been friends since they were 4 years old. There love for dancing brought them together, and the friends have been inseparable ever since.

Liz is full of dreams and her ultimate goal is get into Juilliard and dance the perfect dance. With dancing, Maria and her love Max Evans in her life, everything is as perfect as anyone could wish for.

But what happens when your perfect crashes? What happens when you have to question every dream you’ve ever had? What happens when you realize that you’ll never have perfect again?

A/N: Hi there everyone this is going to be the first challenge that I going to start posting. Please be kind to me. The Challenge is by Lullaby’s number 5 here is the link to the Challenge.

I really want to thank my wonderful beta (lazza) for the time that she has taking to help me get this out and I do say she is going to have her work cut out for her cracking the whip to make sure I post on time.

I’m planning on posting this fic once a week until I get more chapters up and ready. So be on the look out every Friday for one. After a While I will see what and where I get with this. I know it’s a bit short but this is just the beginning.

Thank you to my wonderful friends that make me believe that I can get this done Roswellprincess16, vegas312, ilyme, and believer2. If it wasn’t for you I would be deleting everything love ya all.

Thank you to everyone that has been patient on waiting for me to get my life back in order. I love feedback so I hope to see some to know what you think. So on with the show……




~Prologue~

~Liz POV~

Have you ever had a friend so close that they knew you inside and out? I have. I met that special best friend that every girl should have at the tender age of 4. Dance class is what brought us together. Our friendship will outlast both of our dreams of being dancers.

You see when I was 4 years old, all I ever did was dream of being that perfect dancer. My parents enrolled me into a ballet class and it changed my life, it’s where I met Maria. Maria DeLuca the fast talking crazy best friend of mine.

Maria DeLuca is like glue. Every time I feel like quitting she is right there reminding my exactly why I push myself to the extreme. My dream is to go to Juilliard, my dream is to be the dancer that everyone wants to go see.

We have been there for each other during the good times, the bad times and during the horrible times. We’ve both had our horrible moments. It’s always nice to know that no matter what hurdle we have to jump, we have each others back.

Like the time Maria’s sperm donor of a father left them. Maria overheard him talking to Amy, her mother, telling her that he wanted nothing to do with Maria. I think that pretty much cemented her feelings in regards to men, relationships and commitment.

I remember the time I was crying and I called Maria and she came right over, no questions asked. You see my aunt, the one I had been really close too passed away. Michael my cousin, was supposed to go and live with his dad. We all knew he was a mean old drunk and we hated the thought of Michael being there.

Maria somehow knew that everything was going to be all right. And before I knew it Michael was living with us. Michael is the same age as me and he is like a brother to me, granted an annoying brother, but a brother non the less.

Michael is a bit overbearing but really he is a big teddy bear, you just have to break through his stonewall. And as luck goes, Michael’s best friend happens to be my adorable boyfriend, Max Evans. I met Max my freshman year of high school. He is sweet and has always been understanding and supportive in my dream of becoming a dancer.

Michael and Max are both on the basketball team and are planning to be going to college somewhere close to me, and in turn Maria. The funny thing is Maria and Michael are always fighting; they’re like cats and dogs, chalk and cheese, oil and vinegar. I’d say its sexual tension but you never know with the two of them.

After we graduate we’re all going to the colleges of our dreams. Maria and I are off to Juilliard and Max and Michael to Columbia. So here we all are, going off to college trying to follow our dream, our life long perfect dream.

But what happens when your perfect dream comes crashing down on top of you? What do you do when you know that something is wrong but you are in such denial that you are even starting fooling yourself?

I have a feeling that everything I thought that was important in my life won’t be so important anymore. I’ve started to feel this way because lately I’ve not been feeling right, and I don’t know why. The problem though is that everyone has noticed as well but I just keep thinking that if I pretend nothing is wrong, nothing will be wrong. If I keep denying that anything is wrong, I can still have my perfect life. My perfect dream.

TBC…..
Last edited by mmcherron on Sat Jan 20, 2007 11:30 am, edited 23 times in total.
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A/N: Hi everyone I know I said Updates on Friday but my beta help me get this out fast and she said that I should give you all a treat. So I hope you all thank my wonderful beta lazza that helped me through this chapter and also helped me through brainstorming the upcoming chapter….Lazza you are the best. You helped me through all my hard parts. Thank you

I would like to thank all the readers who left me feedback I love reading it.

1.To_Kiss_A_Frog- Awww, Thank you I hope you continue to enjoy reading this. I hope to hook you to all of my chapters.
2. DreamerAZ04- Thank you so much.
3. Draknhauntinglove
4. Maxsgurl
5. icequeen- Yes its me…LOL You know me do I write anything else? You know I could always use a reminder. Please just don’t get mad and send me dead roses if you don’t like the chapter.
6. POM
7. begonia9508
8. Drogyn
9. Behrsgirl1230- Awww thank you I was a dancer too.
10. Emz80m- Thank you
11. Believer2- Awww sorry about that. I will try and not make you cry too much.
12. anonymousarfan- Hmmm I can’t tell you. You are just going to have to wait.
13. RoswellianPrincess16- You are the best Thank you…smooches
14. Michelle17
15. frenchkiss70- Thank you….maybe you never know
16. txndreamer06- Thank you
17. Dramastar0F06- This challenge is loosely based on the movie, But I wouldn’t say it’s the same. Thank you and I hope you continue to read.
18. linliz68- Thank you and I’m happy to be back and writing.
19. lazza- Thank you for all your hard work. I would have to agree with you on the banner.
20. brillantsmiles
21. Ms Anonymous
22. Spicy trini1- Thank you… you know you just might need some
23. ILYMEFOREVER- I still love ya
24. Spacegal- Thank you
25. Grace52373

I also want to thank all the lurkers too you are the best.




Chapter 1

~Liz POV~

One, Two, Three how many cacti do you think I’m going to pass as I sit here in the back seat of my parents SUV? I feel Maria’s hand grab mine as we see the sign Albuquerque 20miles. This is supposed to be happy right? Why do I feel so scared but excited at the same time? College…Juilliard my dream is slowly coming true and I have my best friend at my side the whole way.

I even have my cousin Michael close by. So close I can actually hear him snoring in the seat in front of us. I swear nothing fazes that guy. Stone-cold-wall Guerin we all call him. But I’m one of the lucky ones who really knows the true inner self of the boy. We have gotten really close and he is even more of a brother then a cousin. We fight like it too. Poor guy, he gets it from both Maria and I now.

I can hear the constant blabbing of our parental units in the front. Now I can actually say I know where Maria gets it from. Amy can talk faster then anyone I know and Maria is close second. I’m happy that my parents have her to talk to because I’m just not in the mood to say anything. My heart is too excited. This is the first time going on a train. We are taking a train to New York, all 40 odd hours. Why did we listen to Maria? I don’t think 40 hours locked up with her is going to be that fun. It will be exciting to see who will be fighting first but we already know that Maria and Michael are sure to kill each other before we reach Penn Station.

Max’s family is caravanning right along with us as I look behind and see their Black SUV. I know it will be amazing having Max so close by. I know my dad already had ‘the talk’ with him. I know that Max made it through with flying colors because my dad can’t stop smiling when he sees him but both of them won’t tell me what was said.

“We’re here!!!” Maria screams jumping in her seat.

My heart does a little jump. I can feel my stomach doing little flip flops as I look up and see the Amtrak Station ahead. I tell you what 5 hours in any car with your parents and Maria and Michael is punishment for anyone, I really can’t wait to get out of the car. Because for the first 3 hours all you could hear is ‘Michael stop it, you are singing off key’, ‘Michael stop breathing so loud you’re bugging me. Even with the DVD that we were watching it wasn’t good enough for the both of them I really wish that they would get along better because I can really see the underlying sexual tension there.

We all start to unload and I could all ready see my mom starting to cry. It just breaks my heart to see her like this. Next thing I know I can feel her squeezing the life out of me asking me if I really have to go to College practically begging me to stay behind. She bribes me with a new car, an overseas trip, she even tries Krispy Kremes every morning for breakfast, she must be desperate. I can feel the burning of my eyes as tears start falling down my face why does it have to be this hard to leave and make a start in my adulthood life?

Amy is talking a mile a minute again, but what is really new with that? She is handing me and Maria Mace key chains and tells Michael to make sure and watch over her babies…Maria and Me. I love having two moms and my mom doesn’t seem to be bothered by that fact. You see my mom is a business woman. She is always traveling doing something. My dad owns the Crash Down Café which Maria and I have worked in ever since we could write. Michael even ended up working there as a cook after he moved in with us.

I remember Amy made Maria and I take a class in self defense after we got our acceptance letter getting into Juilliard she didn’t want us to be defenseless. Something about men and their body parts that poke. She is great she even went with us. Now Maria and I know how to kick some major ass, at least that is what our Teacher told us. We were on the top of the class. I think Michael and Max are a little scared of us, so maybe the class was good for something!!

I feel my feet being lifted off the ground as strong arms hold me tight. I can smell the particular aftershave that drives me crazy….and it belongs to Max. I could get lost in that smell, so I lean in and let may senses take in his wonderful smell.

I hear my dad telling Max to make sure he keeps an eye for me. My dad….I already missing his great pancakes with strawberry topping. He is the best father and I’m the closest to him. He always knew that I would make it to Juilliard even before I did. He got me my first pair of dancing shoes when I was 1 years old. He just knew I was going to be a dancer from the day I was born, he knew I was going to be a star….A Bright Shining Star.

Everything else seems like a blur because before I know it we are in the train waving to our parents through the window. Wow that wasn’t as hard as I thought it was going to be. We all start to get settled because we know this is going to be one LONG Train ride to Chicago.

We have about 24 hours on the train until we reach Chicago. I lean my head on Max’s strong shoulder as I drift off to sleep thinking that maybe I should get some shut eye before we eat dinner. Max is gently running his fingers through my hair lulling me to sleep. Max has always had a thing for my hair. Just like I’ve always had a thing for Max.

Right before sleep took over I could hear Michael and Maria starting to argue over who gets to sit by the window…Please help us I’m not sure I could last this trip with the two of them…..

By the time the train pulls up to Chicago I was ready to kill them all. How do you trip with your family is beyond me. This is the first trip that I actually had that lasted more then a few hours alone with out my parents. My only thoughts are get me away and off this train. My butt hurts and I’m starting to get a headache from everyone. If its not Max trying to be as caring as possible its Maria mouth and Michaels attitude…HELP

All I want to do it read a book alone for a few hours, sit without the moving of the train, without the bickering, and without someone stroking my hair. As soon as we get off we all talk about what we are going to do for our 4 hour layover.

I laugh as I hear Max and Michael scream ‘BULLS’, boys and their basketball. Max and Michael quickly find out where the home court is, and if they can go and get Bulls stuff. I see Maria run into a Store yelling “Ohhh they got shoes in there and DRESSES!!!” I quietly grab my book and start reading after we settle on meeting the guys at the movie theater right next to the station in 2 hours. I let Maria know that I will be sitting here waiting for her to do her shopping…..Peace At Last.

At exactly 2 hours we meet at the movies finally agree on a movie classic “The Goonies” I happen to love it and I even own the DVD. I think that little data is so cute and you gotta love Mickey though he is too funny.

Soon after we are back on the train going to New York…..We have another about 20 hours on the train. Let’s hope we sleep most of the way. Before Michael and Maria kill each other I swear I might have to put them in time out. I’m hoping that this train is fast. I so can’t wait until I get into my dorm room and I’m able to shower. To think we have been traveling for almost 2 days and we haven’t showered yet. At least we can freshen up a bit, but I so want a nice hot long shower.

***

20 of the longest hours of my life later, I was so relieved to hear the Train conductor announce the arrival of our New York’s Penn Station. I couldn’t get out the train fast enough. I never knew that New York was so huge. I can’t believe that we are really here….

There is so many things that I want to see and experience I’m over whelmed at the sights. We quickly get over bag because we all just want to get settled in. Oh look there is the old fashion New York yellow taxi this should be fun..


~Maria’s POV~

We finally made it to Juilliard and I can’t wait to get away from the one and only spiky hair spaceboy. He maybe be hot looking and has the greatest looking ass in jeans, but man he gets me so mad. I ask for a little help with my bags and he grabs the smallest one.

“Michael you are so lazy you can’t even be a man and take the big bag.”

Max helped more with my bags along with Liz’s bags, he is definitely a keeper. Liz is so lucky to have such a caring and loving man in her life. Like I would ever be so lucky. Men and me, we just don’t have a very good track record. It started at a very young age for me and I just don’t see it happening for me.

I’m pretty impressed with our dorm room, you always hear horror stories about first year dorms, but ours has 3 beds and it’s pretty big. After Max and Bonehead put our stuff down we all agree to just go to bed, it’s early but we’re pretty tired. I make them met us here in the morning for breakfast, there is NO way I’m wondering these streets alone just yet.

"Night Bonehead see you bright and early” I hope that Michael trips and falls down the last two steps and gets a bruise and girls laugh at him….I look over at Max to say goodbye, but he was much more interested in Liz's lips. I wonder how long it'll be before I get kicked out of the dorm so they can have some one on one action

“Liz looks like we have a roommate called Alex. I wonder what her full name is. Where she is, it’s getting late? She better not be messy, I can’t stand a messy person. Or someone who talks all the time, I like my quiet time you know??? Do you think she is from New York? I hope she isn’t I don’t want a city girl, who knows all the places to be, I want to be that girl. Damn maybe we should have gotten a double dorm, why did we decided on a triple…Oh I remember money, but do we really need the extra money, granted the shops here are great. Oh did you see the café next door, cupcakes, I have a feeling I’ll be hanging out there heaps” Sometimes I wonder how I manage not to breathe when I talk. I look at Liz and she is giving me a look, I know that look, it’s the Maria if you don’t shut up look I’m going to kill you look. I seem to be getting that a lot from her lately.

“I don’t know Maria but you know what I’m going to do? I’m going to take a shower. A looooong hot shower then sleep for about 2 days. What about you? Are you ready for a shower? You really need one!” Liz says with I laugh.

“What…are you implying that I smell? Little Miss Liz Parker remember, I know all of your deep dark secrets you better watch your step.”

“And you think I don’t know yours?” Liz replied with a smile walking into the shared bathroom.

Grrrrr, she is so right we never have secrets we know everything about each other. And I happen to know that we are starting Freshman year at Juilliard virgins…..Maxie boy sure must have a lot of restraint!! We need to get out on the town and have some fun before it gets out that we are small town girls.

Funny the shower room consists of just a room full of shower heads. It also has a few stalls of toilets and a bunch of sinks with Mirrors everywhere. It was really weird because Liz and I were the only ones in the bathroom, and halls make it look like a ghost town in here. I wonder where all the other girls are?

“I can’t believe that they assigned us beds!! I’m so not taking that bed over there I’m sleeping in this one. I happen to think that this bed has the best aura.” I state firmly as I find the sheets I packed and starting making the bed.

“Maria you know you are totally nuts right? I love you to death, but beds don’t have auras. You just want to sleep closer to me. Now let’s sleep because we have an early date remember.” Liz said sleepily as she fluffs her pillow and climbs into bed with a sigh.

Sure like I’d have a hot date ever, if only Michael wasn’t such as ass and actually showed a little emotion now and then, he might not be that bad. I could finally feel my body starting to relax as I feel my eyes getting heavier and heavier.

***

“Wow Michael you look so good when you actually shower and brush your hair. Is that clean clothes too? You clean up pretty nicely.” I’m trying to sound sarcastic, but I’m not sure if it’s coming out right. I never knew Michael lips looked so good, I could only wish to have them kissing me. But then I would actually have to like him, and that’s never going to happen, so I’m going to stop thinking about his lips, his lushes lips, STOP thinking Maria, think about mud…mud.

Michael walks up right next to my and I feel his soft lip touch mine and I can actually feel my body melt into his. He has such strong arms as he wraps them around me. I hear a phone ringing in the background but I don’t want to answer the phone. Where is Liz when I need her? Because there is no way I’m stopping here Michael sure can kiss and I’m not stopping.

“Ring”

“Ring”

I slowly open my eyes and right away I see Liz sleeping in a bed across from me….Where are we? Ohhh yes Juilliard. Damn it was a dream! Is that a good thing or a bad thing? Before I have time to decide, I notice that I’m not in bed alone…What the hell…. Isn’t that an arm?

I slowly roll over because maybe Alexia or Alexandra has hopped into the wrong bed. I turn around and I see a guy…..What..

“Ahhhhh You pervert..” I scream as I fling his arm off me, jumping out of bed stepping on him on the way to stand by Liz, who I seem to have woken up. I couldn’t believe that a guy is in our room much less in bed with me.

Liz jumps up and kicks him in the stomach, screaming the self-defense standard ‘NO’, damn that girl has some lungs on her.

“Ring”

“Ring”

“What the hell is that noise?” Liz asks looking around the room for the object making the offending ringing noise.

I see the guy on the ground slowly getting up raising his hands in the air in defeat.

“My name is Alex this is my room too. I’m sorry that I scared you but this was my assigned bed and I was too tired and didn’t want to turn on a light I didn’t know you where there. I swear I would never hurt you.”

“Killer, Sexual predator, Weirdo. My Mom told me all about you guys.” I state as I give him the evil DeLuca glare, it’s a combination of a smirk and a frown, I’ve mastered it over the years.

“No really my id and admission papers are all in my bag right there just look.” He pleads. I’m almost starting to feel sorry for the little guy, ok sure he’s taller than me, but he’s still little. Like a little lost puppy….

I hear Max screaming through the door to open up, I have a feeling he heard the screams we made earlier. Damn, where do I find a perfect boyfriend like him? New York’s huge, maybe they have a boyfriend store, I wonder if they sell Michaels? Hey wait stop, rewind, I don’t want a Michael I want a… Liz runs over there and opens the door while I check Alex’s Id and sure enough it is our room mate, I think there has been a ‘little’ mix up.

What away to start a morning….

Max and Michael run into the room and while Max takes Liz into his arms, Michael surprisingly pushes me behind him and gives Alex a Gurien glare, and let me tell you they can scare ANYONE.

It takes 5 minutes and a few kisses from Liz to calm Max down, Michael is still not convinced, he wants to report him to the school, to the police, hey I think I heard FBI there as well. I roll my eyes and tell him it’s cool, it takes another 5 minutes and Liz taking him into the bathroom for a little one on one talk, but soon everything is all cleared up and we invite Alex out to breakfast with us. Liz and I push the boys out and quickly change, and then let Alex in to do his thing. Another 5 minutes goes by and we’re out on the streets. New York watch out, Maria is in town.

“So, sorry Alex I didn’t mean to kick you. Maria screaming and you being a guy and all, and I think I was still asleep. We really thought Alex was a girl, you know being a girls dorm and all. I hope you forgive us?” Liz says as we walk to breakfast with the guys. Ok so when did Liz start to ramble? I think I’ve been around her a little too much…she’s slowly becoming a DeLuca, I’m so proud.

Sitting down for breakfast, I look around, yep it’s New York alright. Lets just hope the rest of the morning goes well. Who am I kidding?

TBC….
Last edited by mmcherron on Fri Feb 03, 2006 2:55 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Hi everyone I’m popping in before I have to jump into bed. I want to thank my wonderful beta Lazza for getting this to me FAST.

I will come back later tomorrow to reply to all the feedback

Thank you all that are reading this.

Smooches



~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*


Chapter 2

~Liz POV~

We’ve been at school for nearly two months and what a crazy time it has been. Everything seems to be running pretty smoothly, well after the initial hiccup with Alex. The look on Maria’s face is still etched in my brain.

Over breakfast that morning we all quickly became friends. At least Maria and I did, it took a few more weeks for the guys to warm to him. After our first day of classes Alex, Maria and I went to the head office to see what the mix up was on our room. Apparently they thought Alex was a female. I kindly suggested to them that they open their eyes, because he certainly was no female. He even offered to strip for them, sadly they declined that offer. They told us it might be hard to find him a room and it might take a while. With a quick look to Maria I told them it was fine as long as Alex didn’t mind, he jumped at the chance, so now he’s all ours. Well at least that what he tells all the other male dancers.

Alex is in all of our classes, both dance and academic and we all have a huge dance performance that we do at the end of the semester. They say if we are good enough we could even get to take it on the road to Australia. Apparently one first year class tours their performance, and since I really want to go we’ll all have to focus on this dance. It’ll be a lot of work and we’ll be working on it the whole semester. I just hope I get a great part.

We have some really great dancers here at school, and I sometimes feel inadequate. Maria and I were the top in our class back in Roswell, but here everyone was the top of the class. Most of the other girls are nice, but there is one girl here that has the worst attitude and she thinks that she is gods gift to dancing,

I remember the first day we all met her. She practically knocked me down and yelled at me to watch out. She seems to be a grade A bitch, but all the teachers just love her. I think that are all just scared of her. But Maria thinks that maybe she is doing one of the teachers because there is no way that she should be in some of our classes. Her name is Tessa Harding. Then I found out that one of the dance halls that we practice in is called Harding Hall…..Well I think dear old daddy bought precious daughter a position at school. She’s an ok dancer, but seem to think it’s the Pussy Cat Dolls and not Juilliard, you should see some of the things she wears knowing full well we have a dress code.

Tonight we are going over to Columbia to see Max and Michael play in a home game. With both of our schedule’s being so busy I hardly get to see Max. But tonight we are going to finally see him play. I miss him. I get to talk to him almost every night but its not even close on being the same. We’re only a mile part, closer than when we were in Roswell, but sometimes it feels like we’re on different sides of the planet.

Maria and I were in our room getting ready while Alex was sitting watching TV because he says we take to damn long in the bathroom. Maria babbled on about what we are going to wear for the Halloween party that is coming up next week. Yet another thing to think about. I think maybe going to college and thinking that you just might have a normal life is really too hard to ask in your first year.

I’m feeling depressed even though I should be jumping for joy, I get to see Max tonight. Why does it have to be so hard to adjust to all of this? Some days I feel like I’m drowning but then Max calls, and he brings me back to the surface. I think we must be on the same wavelength because he knows just when I need to hear his voice.

We finally got ready and out the door and off to the game. I hope that they win. I love it when I get to watch Max in his sexy basketball uniform. All hot and sweaty running after the ball. I always thought Max would make a sexy dancer ohh and his muscles, WOW. I even brought him some tights last year for Christmas, he doesn’t know it but I took of picture of him in them, sometimes it’s the only thing that makes me smile. Max in tights and nothing else…

It’s down to the last few minutes of the game and I’m sitting here watching 3 guys gang up on my Max, trying to get the ball from him. When suddenly out of nowhere Michael comes running past and he’s open, Max passes the ball and Michael shoots and scores the winning points.

The game was amazing to watch, I forgot just how much fun we all had at the basketball games when we were in high school. We had all agreed earlier to meet at the Pizza place down the street to eat, I know the guys will be a few minutes so we order while we wait to hear them tell us all the stories about game they just played.

I was so happy to see his face walk through that door, seeing that smile again just made my heart melt. I don’t know how he does it. Just one look and I swear I want to jump into his arms and make a home, we don’t talk he just wraps me in his arms and holds me. And all the stress of my life is gone, Max is here and all is right in the world. Through my Max fog I can hear Maria starting on Michael, it’s so funny I have to pull back a bit and laugh.

“Michael did you actually wash your hair, its still so greasy. Exactly how do you put your hair up like that? Look at your clothes…No wait, I take that back don’t look. There is not enough time in the world for me to tell you what’s wrong with your clothes.” Maria complains.

You would think they were an old married couple, but they don’t even like each other. Well that’s what they tell us anyway, I’ve still got my doubts. What am I going to do with them? I think I might just need to lock them in a closet for a few hours and see what happens with them. If worst comes to worst and one kill’s the other at least the bickering will stop.

I’m just happy that we all get along together with Alex. Maria and I came up with the reason we get along with Alex so well…he’s gay. He is always wearing the latest in fashion and he never tries to hit on any of the girls here at school. I have to remember to ask him about it. But how do you exactly ask a question like that? Are you Gay? Do you like men? Well I will think of it soon. Not that I care, but I think the guys think he’s gay as well. Maybe that’s why they don’t mind him in the same dorm room.

“Max, You looked amazing out there tonight, my own personal basketball player. That was a great game I really had fun tonight it reminded me of our last year of high school. But I think what I remember most was what we used to do after the games.” I say with a suggestive smile. A second later I feel his lips on mine as he pulls me even closer to him, and gently nudges my mouth open with his tongue. I really miss his kisses, I really miss his arms holding me, I just miss Max. I can’t wait for that Halloween party maybe we can get a little alone time. Without one of us running of to class or practice.

“Remember we have the Halloween part next weekend and you promised to come.” I say as I pull away from his lips, I look back at the table and notice three sets of eyes rolling at us. I guess we’ll have to leave the kissing for later.

“Oh, what are you going to go as Michael….Chewbacca maybe? All you have to do is continue on not washing your hair and presto your costume is done. Or maybe cousin IT.” Maria says sarcastically.

“Oooo good one blondie, Whatcha do, take a class in insults 101 or something? I know you are going as Jabba the hut. You eat enough pizza ” Michael laughed and then looked over at Maria, she wasn’t looking too happy, if I was Michael I’d run. Two seconds later he does just that, he’s out the door and down the street before I can even blink.

“Michael you can run but you can’t hide. Come here and take your beating like a man.!” Maria screams as she too jumps from the table and out the door, good they’re gone, peace and quiet.

Max, Alex and I had fun together tonight, well after Maria and Michael left anyway, and I hated to see Max go. I really just wanted him to come back to our dorm and hold me as I slept. I know in my heart that I’m not ready to take the final step with Max, he’s never pushed but sometimes I feel like he thinks it’s time. I’m getting there, and I know that I want to be with Max now and forever, and I hope that’s enough for him right now.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

~Next Day~

Today in class we’re finally finding out what parts we have in the performance. We are doing a great piece that is very new and different. I happen to be very excited and nervous about it the whole thing. It’s going to be a mixture of Jazz and Ballet together, which so happens to be Maria and my favorite style of dance. I can’t wait, the choreographer is awesome, and he is an ex-student from Juilliard named Jorge.

Maria and I got the lead female parts, which is totally amazing. Alex and Anthony got the male lead parts, which is fantastic as they are both amazing dancers. It was really funny because Tessa threw a temper tantrum in the middle of the class saying that it was not fair that we got the leads and not her. She told Madame Lillian, Mr. Jorge and Madame Belle that her daddy would be contacting them and would be expecting an answer to why her precious ass didn’t get a better part. Ok the ‘precious ass’ part I added in there, but please she can get a better part dancing on a pole than in this piece.

~ Halloween Night~

Woo hoo can we all say party? We’ve had the week from hell with the first week of practice finally over. I really feel like I worked my body into the ground. I have muscles that I didn’t even know I had, and they’re hurting like hell.

We have been practicing day and night for this performance; we only have 5 weeks before we have to show it. So with that and classes, I haven’t seen Max since the night we went to the basketball game. We’ve being calling each other but some night’s I fall asleep before he gets back from his practice. So I can’t wait to see him in costume, he said he’ll either be a Zorro, or dressed as a chicken. I’m hoping for Zorro, whew I start to sweat just thinking about it.

Michael is going as a FBI agent, well I guess it’s more a MIB, but in a dark suit and sunglasses who can tell the difference? Alex our sweet sexy Alex is going in all tight green spandex uni-tard with his hands and face painted green. He’s even got this red and green glitter around his eyes, lips and hair. He really looks great as an alien.

Maria is going as a sexy S&M police woman her costume is sexy as hell, I think she’s looking for a little New York action tonight. Plastic shiny skin tight black dress with a very lower “V” cut showing just the right amount of cleavage. She even has these hand cuffs that go with the costume with thigh high Black boots. She’s been walking around the dorm all day handcuffing the guys.

Isabel, Max’s older sister is flying in for a visit, and is coming as a sexy alien woman. She is about 3 years older then Max and goes to School at UCLA. I don’t really know her that well, but the times I met her she was cold as ice.

I’m going as a sexy Arabian dancer with all bells and such. I think it’s a bit too much but Maria said it was perfect. Maybe I’ll give Max a private dance.

We are standing by the door after getting ready for HOURS. I told Max that I would meet him and everyone else at the side front door. I see my Zorro before he could sneak up on me. I could tell it was my Zorro because of his after-shave. I’m so glad he’s not a chicken!! WOW Max looks amazing, I’m so happy that I already have him as a boyfriend. Because I know that in a heartbeat any girl would try and swoop in on him, I know I would. I can tell by the way some of these girls are already looking at him…..That’s right keep on walking he’s MINE.

Ewwww I just saw the gross costume that Tess is wearing and I think we need to get a pet catcher in here. She is a sleazy cat, I think it’s supposed to be cat woman, but it’s just all wrong. She is wearing a see thru uni-tard that leaves nothing for the imagination. Awwww gross I can see her ……EVERYTHING it’s all sticking out there…..I think I’m going to be sick, I have to get out of here before I throw up.

“I’ll be right back. I think I’m going to get sick” I give Max an ‘I’ll be right back’ look and head to the bathroom. I couldn’t get out of there fast enough. That outfit should be illegal.

“Maria did you see what that skank is wearing tonight??” Maria, as usual followed me out. I guess if it’s watching me throw up or talking to Michael, I win. Not sure if that is good or not…

“Liz please she is so dirty she is trying to get some one to notice her nasty ass that is why she is really here. She needs a teacher to get back into the school good graces, I mean did she catch the train to slutville to buy that?” Maria quickly replied.

Maria really needs to learn how to take a breath in the middle of her sentences; I swear one of these days she is going to pass out during one of her rants.

“The music has started lets go back in there and get dancing. I know I have a sexy Zorro I want to dance with.” Max, just thinking about him makes me smile.

“Come on chica, let’s get your Zorro. I can maybe get a cute hot green Alien to dance with me.” Maria laughed while linking arm walking out of the bathroom.

The night is flying by with all the fun we are having. Maria and I are dancing together with Isabel and having a blast ….Wait are they green hand prints on Isabel’s ass???

“Alex!!! You’ve been kissing Isabel” I look around for Alex and he’s behind Maria, giving me ‘please shut up’ look. Since I’m not Maria I do just that, for now.

To think that Alex is getting some of the Ice Queen herself, I hope our friend knows what he is getting himself into????? Maybe he is just trying out a girl to see what its like to kiss us?? I have to remember to ask him when we get back to the dorm later tonight.

I’m starting to get tired and I want to find Max, he and Michael gave up on dancing a few songs ago and decided that drinking might be more fun. I want to spend a little alone time with him before Maria and Alex get to the dorm. Where is my Zorro?

I spot him over by the refreshment table, but he’s not with Michael. What the hell is he doing with the Skanky Cat Tess…wait, he’s kissing her, he’s fucking kissing her??? I can’t believe this.

I think I must have stood there in shock for hours because before I knew it I was watching Zorro and Skanky Cat walk out the door and into the dark New York night.

I think my heart has been ripped out of my chest. I can’t feel my legs and I think I might have stopped breathing because my lungs are burning. I feel like I just got hit by one of those destruction balls that knock down house and apartment building. There is not one part of me that isn’t in pain right now.

What has I thinking? I must have been a fool thinking that Max and I had something special, how can he do that to me? Only an hour ago we were making out on the dance floor. I really have to get out of here and fast. This has to be the worst night in my life. The love of my life walking out of here with the School tramp herself.

I couldn’t run fast enough to my room. I just wanted to take this outfit off and take a shower and die, he kissed her? And before I know it the tears come, and I cry. I just want to forget that this night ever happened. I just want to forget about Max.

I never what to see Max again and I thought that he was going to be the man that I married with the perfect wedding dress. I have a secret; I’ve already got my dream wedding dress. I brought it in secret this summer, not even Maria knows. Now what am I supposed to do? Now I can never have that wedding to the man of my dreams, my perfect wedding, with my perfect man, I’ll never have perfect again.



TBC….
Last edited by mmcherron on Sat Oct 22, 2005 3:00 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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mmcherron
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Post by mmcherron »

AN: I just dropping this off quickly because I’m not feeling the best but this chapter was ready.

I wanted to thank you each personally to tonight just isn’t a great night. I have a migraine that just doesn’t want to leave me. But I thought you all might want to read this finished chapter.

I want to give a huge thank you to my wonderful beta Lazza because this chapter just wouldn’t be as great as it is. She is the best…..smooches girl.

Ohhh yes I also think you all should now that Liz does seem a little bit flaky and stuff but remember this is her first year on her own and she is scared and feel pretty much alone. I hope you all understand that Liz won’t always be like this but I know my first year of College was a huge change for me and it just takes a few months to get us too. Thank you I hope I don’t upset to many of you.

Now on with the show…………


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Chapter 3


~Maria’s POV~

I was having the time of my life at the Halloween dance when I had a really weird feeling to go and find Liz and to make sure she was all right. I have these feelings sometimes and this one came on really strong. I know Liz is a big girl but she is my best friend and it’d been 2 hours since I saw her last.

Of course I saw Michael the ass first. Why is he always around? He’s like one of those smells, it gets on your clothes and not matter what you do it stays, Michael is that smell. Anyway back to Liz, I asked him if he’d seen Liz or Max and he told me that he hadn’t seen either and that maybe they were getting it on in the room….what a pig. Doesn’t he realize that’s his cousin?

I decided to forgo yet another fight with him, although I enjoy them I was just to tired tonight. So I say goodbye to Alex who seems to be having a little too much fun with Isabel and head back to the dorm. And that’s when the night becomes interesting….I arrive and find Max banging on the door screaming at Liz to let him in or else he was going to break the door down….that’s twice I’ve heard Max do that, when did he become a caveman?

I wonder what happen in there little Max and Liz dream world, I swear every time they are together they forget that anyone else is there or even in the same room, or in this case, hallway But we’re all pretty used to them getting all wrapped up in each other. I hope to maybe one day find my man that makes me forget that everyone is around….Maybe.

Once I get to the door I had to see exactly what was up Max’s butt. First off I could tell that he was buzzing a bit. What ever he did must have been bad if Liz locked him out right?? I wonder what he said or did, if he hurt my Lizzie, he’s going to get more than just locked out of the dorm room. I give him a look and try to get past him, he starts rambling on about Liz leaving and hearing her crying. Since he seems to be making as mush sense as Michael right now, I know my only hope of finding out what is going on is from Liz.

It took forever to get past Max; I had to promise to tell him everything as soon as I found out. Max is so hopeless sometimes, it’s one part cute, one part annoying, one part sickening and one part jealously.

By the time I made it into the room Liz was sitting on the bed holding a pillow crying her eyes out. It was horrible. I haven’t seen Liz this upset since she found out her aunt died. I just hope it’s not that bad.

She tells me that lover boy, moondoggie, the so-called sweetest boyfriend in the world is really a dog and ended up kissing the tramp of the month. I’m not to sure what Max was exactly thinking but I think that maybe Tess the skank of the year must have slipped him the love drug. That is the only way I think Max would even touch her. I tried to tell her Max was outside all upset and that they should talk, she told me I could be her friend or his, and she knows I’d choose her every time. In the end I had to go out and tell Max to go home, that Liz wasn’t feeling too well. The look in his eyes, I wasn’t sure if it was guilt or worry.

It’s been over 3 weeks since all of this has started and we’re all heading back to Roswell tomorrow bright and early for Thanksgiving. I swear I want to hurt both of them. Liz basically locked herself up in the room and only goes out to go to class and practice. She’s not eating right, not sleeping right; I wish she’d just take one of his millions of phone calls. She can be so stubborn sometimes. All she does is ignore me when I try and talk to her, telling me ‘I’m alright Maria I’m just tired and really busy’ grrrrr I hate it when she does that.

I can’t get through to her, I know that it must be a huge misunderstanding because I’ve seen Max lurking around here and he’s just as bad. I know Liz told me that Max and Tess were kissing and that they left together but I just don’t see how Max could have strayed, he looks like a little lost puppy. He’s tried to talk to her on her way to class, she actually ran across Broadway, through lanes of traffic to get away. I almost had a heart attack; it was like a freaky frogga game.

I hope she gets through this soon, because I see Liz hurting and lately she has been pulling away from everyone and every thing. I know it has to be the pressure of this performance and she must be missing home. I never knew how hard this first year would be but I also know that Liz tends to be a perfectionist with her dancing and life. I even tried to be more like Liz devoted and strong like Liz once, I pulled a muscle and my mom thought I was on drugs. I don’t know how Liz does it, I guess she can’t and she’s just finding this out.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

I tell you now that getting up with a very grouchy Liz, at 5am no less is no fun, nowhere near fun. I heard her crying again last night, this time it as for most of the night. I can’t stand to hear her cry, so I quietly got up in the middle of the night and got into bed with her. For once I didn’t say anything, just held her until she finally fell asleep. Alex left last night, I know he’s been just as worried as the rest of us, but he doesn’t know why. So he thinks it’s a usual fight, he doesn’t know that in 4 years together Max and Liz have never fought once.

I’m all packed and ready to go home to home cooked food and heat, I knew New York would be cold, but geez it’s only November. I’m sitting here watching Liz stare off into space and I’m getting a very bad feeling about all of this. Maybe I should reschedule our flights, so we don’t have to fly with the guys, like that’ll be possible just before Thanksgiving. I can see Liz twisting her hands nervously. I just hope we make it through this flight without any bloodshed. She hasn’t been in the same room as Max in 3 weeks, let alone a closed space like a plane. Hopefully there will be an air marshal on board….just in case.

Just as I thought it couldn’t get anymore stressful, I hear the knock on the door that making all of us jump….let the good times begin.

~LIZ POV~

I really don’t think that the 3 weeks before we left to Thanksgiving break could drag out any longer then they did. I think it was a cruel way to get through everything, I really think that someone as against me. Maybe not someone but something, life, karma, the universe take your pick.

I couldn’t stop thinking about Max, my heart broke all over again every night as I saw the kiss replay out in my dreams. And seeing Tess the tramp every day in school, I wanted to jump over everyone and dig her eyes out.

I hate the smug look she gives me, like she was better then me. I can’t figure out what makes her think that she is all that. I know that she comes from money and I don’t, but that doesn’t mean that she is better then everyone at school. I wish she would just come out and gloat about she and Max did, that way I could react, but all she does is smirk at me.

I watch her prance around in her slutty dance clothes as everyone around her practices hard. I have to stay that one good thing has come out of this, I’ve been practicing my heart out and the teacher told me that I have been doing great.

Here I have been busting my butt practicing and during class and all the while my heart is breaking more and more. I just want to run over to Max’s dorm and scream at him. What did I do so wrong that he had to turn to her?

Is it because she has big boobs and blonde hair? Maybe it’s the blue eyes? I know I’m not all that developed, but I thought he liked the way I looked. I’m a ballet dancer for goodness sake, what did he expect from me?

Or three weeks, today is the day that I’ve been dreading; I have to fly with everyone back to Roswell. I can’t help but feel like I’m stuck in a bubble.

I know that I still love him but I feel betrayed, I was betrayed. I know I should listen to my heart, my grandma Claudia always told me to follow my heart but why is it that when you want to follow your heart your brain starts screaming at you to stop? Is it because I doubt that I’ll ever really be good enough for him?

I know I’m acting totally unreasonable but this is hard for me. I want to talk to Maria, but then I almost don’t know what to say to her? I don’t want to put her in the middle, she’s his friend as well and not matter what I’ve said to her about choosing, she shouldn’t have to. I know that we all are a tight group. I know that with this horrible tension between Max and I and I know the group is suffering.

I think I need have a talk with him, just let it all out, but I’m scared that’ll make things final, that the talk will be the end of us. I know I have to be truthful and let him know that I caught him kissing Tess at the Halloween party. I know that I should have confronted them right there but I was just to hurt to talk to them. I know I should have talked to him during the last 3 weeks, but each time I thought about it the tears came, and I want to be strong when the time comes, prove that he didn’t break me, when in truth I feel so broken.

So I didn’t talk to him, I didn’t talk to anyone, I was too angry at him to talk to any of them, it’s no excuse on my part but still I couldn’t face them. I poured myself in to my work, I fell so sick and tired and even thought I want to eat my stomach is a ball on knots, but I can’t even begin to tell any of then.

I know I’ve hurt Maria, because I haven’t told her how exactly what I’ve been feeling. I should have told her everything about all of this, about all my doubts and fears, about Max, about school, about being homesick. I was scared to tell her because she seems so strong about being away home. I was the one who really wanted to come to New York, I was the one who pushed everyone to come, and now I’m the one who can’t cope.

I feel like I’m out there all alone trying my hardest to be strong and do my best. I can’t fail here, because if I fail here then in reality I’ll fail at everything I’ve ever dreamed of, and then were will I be?

What would happen to me if my perfect life, the perfect life that I’d always wanted was just a big lie? If my love for Max wasn’t really love at all? What if everything I thought was true isn’t?

I need to know where his dreams lay, other then becoming a Basketball player. I know he always dreamed about being on the NBA, of playing in front of thousands, of being in the hall of fame. It’s very possible because he is a great player. But he always seemed to take my dreams and make them his, but he has to have dreams that are just his own, what are they?

My thoughts are interrupted by a knock on the door, and I know its show time. I slowly look up at Maria knowing that the time has come to walk out of our dorm room and start the long trip home with Max and the others. Maybe I’ll be lucky and sit next to Maria the whole way or maybe even Michael.

I felt like I’m in slow motion as I walked past Max through the door. I instantly see the pain in his eyes. I could feel my eyes burning as I quickly walk passed him and caught his special cologne that he always wears. It engulfs me like I walked into a Max cloud. As I continued to walk by it slammed me into a brick wall, the smell brought to all the perfect times we had together. I knew right there that I wasn’t ready to let him go, was he ready to let me go? I could feel the tears start to run down my face as I quickly run down the stairs to get away from everyone.

I knew that I was lucky enough to see him without remember that night and that horrible kiss. I have to just block every thing and everyone out or I won’t make it back home without jumping out of the plane.

I was almost relieved when Maria decided to sit next to me on the plane its like she knew I need her to step up take charge, the cab ride to the airport was bad enough, I sat in the front and could feel everyone’s eyes on me the whole time. I couldn’t talk, because if I did I would loose all control, so Maria did what she always did and talked her way into sitting next to me.

I knew that Max was a little hurt too. I saw him walk past and settle in behind us with Michael. He seemed to be as broken as me, was the guilt killing him inside, I hope so. Could this trip home really be any worse?

All I want to do is sleep through the whole trip, and put everything behind me. I need to get away from everyone. Maybe I just need to sit down and talk to someone, get another perspective, someone from out of the group. Maybe I do need someone; maybe I have to stop thinking that I don’t need anyone.

I know that perfect someone is Grandma Claudia she always has great advice. I just hope I make it in time before I start losing it on everyone.

I close my eyes as I start to feel the plane taking off. I just need to rest and think about something else just for a little while…….like that’s even possible.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

8 long hours later, including a tense layover in Phoenix, and I’m finally here, to the place that I missed the most. When I saw the Crashdown sign I just wanted to jump out of the car, even before my dad stopped the car. I couldn’t wait to get clean and jump into my nice cuddly bed.

I know that my grandma will be here in the morning, with a day to catch up before Thanksgiving Day. We’re closing the Crashdown early on Thanksgiving for a huge family dinner. My family, the DeLucas and the Evans are all going to be there. All of us are going to be in one place at the same time. I’m hoping to pick Grandma Claudia’s brain on what to do with Max. She is an amazing woman and always gives the prefect advice.

I remember when I was little and she used to take me camping in the Indian reservation that is close by. Grandma Claudia knows them all up there because she is an anthropologist. She is writing a book about their culture and just loves the nature. I’m hoping one day to make her really proud of me.

We used to go camping out in the middle of nowhere with her good friend named, an elder Riverdog. The stars were so magical. I always had the best time there. I think I need to do one more of those weekends up there with just Grandma and me and of course Maria too. She was always with us too. Maria is like my sister.

I have to make sure that I ask Grandma to take us up there before we head back to New York, the peacefulness will be wonderful and just what we need.

I don’t think I’ve ever been as happy as I was when I made it into my bedroom. I took a long soak in my bath tub, it was so quiet, no dorm mates, no stereo fights, just me and nothing else, I just wanted to sleep in there. I didn’t want to get out, but when the water got cold I knew it was time to get out and face everyone.

I’ve craved a Crashdown burger so badly, I can’t wait to sit down with Mom and Dad and Michael and just eat a nice meal. Let’s see how that goes. I would like a quiet few days before everyone gets here for Thanksgiving. Just the four of us.

At the crack of down I could hear Grandma Claudia moving about the house. I know she was trying to be quite but I always know when she is here, it’s like a sixth sense. I quickly throw the covers off and run into the kitchen to see her.

When I feel Grandma’s arms go around me I instantly feel a warm tear running down my cheek. I couldn’t hold all the pain in anymore. Grandma Claudia just stood there holding me running her fingers through my hair whispering in my ear telling me what ever it is I would be able to get through it. She stood there doing that until I was ready to talk.

“Grandma can we get away today. Go out camping, just us girls, like we use too? Please I can’t be here. I have to get away. I want to be outside and under the stars and hear all your wonderful stories.”

“Lizzie Bear, is there something wrong? You haven’t cried like that in a long time. I’m worried about you. You’ve gotten so skinny. You have to remember to take care of yourself.”

“I promise, Grandma please can we go out the Reservation and see Riverdog. Just for one night please. I promise to tell you and Maria what is bothering me, I just have to get away from everyone and get my head straight.”

“Ok you go and call Maria and I’ll get a hold of Riverdog. It looks like you really need this. I have to talk to your father about this too. Now hurry up we have to get going if we’re going to go today.”

I feel 20 times lighter because I’m finally going to talk to someone about how I have been feeling. Maria was excited to go camping. I told her that I was sorry for acting the way I have been for the past few weeks.

I did tell her that I would be explaining everything to both of them. I hope that I can get it all out with out feeling worse. I know that my grandma will lead me in the right direction. I have to get my life back in order.

Maria packed and was over at the house in what seemed like minutes. I can tell that I’m not the only one that is excited. I have my backpack ready to go and Grandma got dad to say yes.

We loaded into the car and waved bye to everyone as we drove away I knew that everything was somehow going to be ok in the end because I had all the support.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

I’m having a blast as soon as we got out ho the Reservation. Riverdog was waiting with his family. It was nice, we learned how to do a rain dance. We also learnt how to shoot an arrow but the most fun was learning how to do the beading. I made a really nice bracelet and necklace.

We even learned how to put up a tepee; we are sleeping in the tepee we made. Its really nice in here, alls I need is my music and computer and I could live here.

We are all sitting around the bonfire talking. I finally get it all out there in the open. To my surprise Maria and Grandma totally understand where I was coming from. I didn’t know that Maria was feeling the same way about being out there in the world for the first time.

Here I was so afraid that I was going to let everyone down if I showed that I was the least bit scared, and all along Maria was feeling the same way. Grandma Claudia told us both that we are the only one’s that can make our destiny and that we’ll both going to shine at what we do.

The next part was the hardest for me to say because no one wants to admit that their boyfriend went astray. And to make it worse he went straying with the schools slut.

But I think sitting down and telling the whole story from the beginning, I do see some of the great points that grandma pointed out right away. The first one hit me like a ton of bricks….Were their any other Zorro’s at the Halloween party? I have to admit that I never noticed but I can’t say for sure.

I have been so stuck on the fact that Max and Tess kissed each other; I never even gave him the change to explain anything.

But my biggest question is if that never happen, then why does Tess act like it had?? Does that mean that everything just might be a lie??

I think being out here, lying on my back under the stars with the 2 most important people in my life has really made me see more clearly than ever before. I just hope that there is a chance that this just might be a big mistake….

If it was all a huge misunderstanding on my part, where do I even begin to make it all better?

TBC……
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mmcherron
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Authors Note: I wanted to thank my wonderful beta for helping me A LOT with this chapter. She helped me write it and I wanted to thank her for all her hard work. You are awesome. Thank you Lazza.

I wanted to thank all my readers for understanding and being patient when I was sick and not feeling to well. Thank you for all of your wonderful feedback. Thank you too to all the Lurkers too for reading.


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Chapter 4

~Maria’s POV~

We came back from camping with grandma in a whole different light. All of our moods have done a complete flip. But right now I feel that I let Liz down somehow. I’m her best friend I have known her almost her whole life how did I miss that she was that home sick and felt that alone? I mean we are roommates for goodness sake.

I have to be able to make it up to her. I know that she is still hurting, that this whole Max and Tess misunderstanding has gotten to her more then she is willing to admit. Liz has to be one of the most stubborn people I know. It’s both her worst and best quality.

I know now that we are in this whole college experience together and we are going to be stronger together. We have a dream to be the best that we can be and make something out of our most favorite thing. We’re dancers, but I also know that we are more then that. Liz is so focused on dancing that sometimes she forgets everything and everyone else. I remember our dance teacher always telling us that dance always come first no matter what.

To be world class that has to be true I guess, but to me my family will always come first then dance. You will be nothing without those that hold you together. I understand that, but sometimes I think Liz has forgotten it, I wonder when I became the level headed on in this friendship.

Tonight should be fun, we’re having this huge Thanksgiving dinner. That is why we are up at the crack of dawn driving back to the Crashdown to help at the Café before they close for the family dinner. I can tell that Liz is going out of her mind with worry. I’m looking at her right now and I can tell that she is ready to jump out of her skin. If I wasn’t so worried I’d laugh, it’s a sight to see.

I think she is still doubting herself, I wish I could fix everything. Tell her everything will always work out the way you want, but I know that I can’t that this is something only she can do.

I hope to one day find that special man that makes me that nervous, and scared, and worried, and stressed and so loved…..Hmmm I wonder what he would look like. I know he has to be a bit of a challenge or he’ll be a total bore. I think a nice ass shouldn’t be too hard to ask for either, oh and hair, good hair is always a must.

Nice ass I know who has a nice ass, Michael Guerin has a great butt….what am I thinking? I really need to get my head checked out, I really must need help if I’m thinking about Michael.

I can see the Crashdown now and I see the line starting to form. I wonder if I should stay and help the Parkers. I know I should spend sometime with my mother but I just found out that she is dating and sleeping with the sheriff could the gross factor get any worse. Like I really want to spend my Thanksgiving Holiday hearing them go at it all night ewwww no thank you. I even heard them talking about getting married. Maybe I need to talk to Kyle Valenti and let him know that we just might be brother and sister. Could life really get any worse?

I just can’t think of my Mother getting married. I know I want her to happy but why the sheriff could she pick a millionaire or something? Or even a teacher or a cook for all I care but why him???

Ok, rant about my mother’s love life is over….for now.

Maybe I can bug Michael during the morning rush? I think I can drive him crazy pretty easily today. That’ll make me feel better, take my mind of Liz and Max, I wonder what he’s wearing right now?? Grrr what am I thinking. I really NEED SOME HELP.

We’re here now, let the fun and games begin. I can see Michael is sporting the ‘I didn’t wash my hair’ bandanna, has he been working out more? Check out his chest. Whew I think it’s getting hot in here.

~Liz POV~

I can’t believe how fast today went by. The diner was so busy; I can’t believe how many people don’t cook for themselves on Thanksgiving. One year I’d like to have a ‘normal’ day, watching football, relaxing after a big lunch, but I did get good tips and I know that Maria did too.

I saw Maria and Michael flirting today, even though I know that both of them would deny it if I called them on it. I wish they would kiss and get the sexual tension out of the way already.

I guess I was lucky that today was busy; it did take my mind off seeing Max tonight. I feel like I might have lost him already, that no matter what I say or do it wont help, that it’s already over. I should have been more open to hearing his side, I guess not just hearing but even asking his side. The more I think about it the more I realise that I haven’t even spoken to Max about any of this… What I don’t understand is why Tess has been playing me like she has. If nothing happened then why has she been acting like something did? What would she get out it? Maybe I after I talk to Max, if we can sort it all out, I should have a little talk with that bitch.

I have been helping my mother for the huge family dinner we have every year. I think we’ve been having this dinner with everyone for many, many years. At first it was only Maria and Amy along to join all of my family, which started happening when we were about 6 years old. When I started to date Max we invited his family along as well. This year with Sheriff Valanti dating Amy, he and Kyle have joined in the fun.

Now we have the Valenti’s, the Evans’s, the DeLuca’s and of course the Parker’s. So I have been cooking up a storm for all the families that are coming. The turkey just been taken out of the oven and we have the sweet potatoes in the oven now, I just love the smell of everything. We already have the macaroni salad in the fridge. Amy is bringing the pies and the Evan’s always brings the green bean special. My mother is working on the gravy and I have to soon mash the potatoes. I love homemade mashed potatoes.

Jim and Kyle Valenti are going to bringing the rolls for our dinner. I still can’t believe that Amy and Jim are going out. I bet Maria is freaking out. We have to wait and see what happens with them but I know that Amy is very happy.

I have to jump in the shower soon because I still smell like a greasy French fry. I better hurry I know the Evans family is always early. Oh yeah, Isabel will be here and I know for a fact that Isabel stole the heart of our gay friend Alex. I really have to talk to her about that, Alex wouldn’t say a word about it. I wonder if he is really gay now?? Or if he ever was gay to begin with? Just another thing I have to deal with in the next few weeks, I’ll add it to the list.

I better get into the shower maybe that will help me think. I know I have to have a plan in mind before I actually talk to Max. I’m so nervous what if he can’t forgive me? What if he doesn’t understand my feelings? What if he thinks I’m weak for not liking it as much as I said I would? What if….ARGH What if he has moved on already? If he thinks I’m all too much trouble? It would serve me right to lose him now, I’ve been a fool.

I decided on a nice long hot bath and thought about what I wanted to say to Max. It didn’t help, I still haven’t figured out what to do or say to him. I’m just hoping that it will be there when I see him.

Oh shoot, someone is here already, and I’m talking to myself in the mirror, quite the picture of sanity. I quickly stand up smoothing out my black skirt, I’m wearing it with Max’s favourite red sweater. I’m hoping to earn some brownie points here.

When I open the door the first thing I notice are these incredible amber eyes looking at me. He walked right passed me without a second glance. Ouch, I guess I deserve that. No hug or anything, not even a fregging ‘Happy Thanksgiving’, I wished the guy at the gas station one this morning, and he can’t say that to me? Have I really made that big of a mistake…I can’t breathe, I just felt my heartbreak again, I think I’m about to cry.

“Hi Mr. & Mrs. Evans, Happy Thanksgiving” I give them a smile and a hug so they don’t start asking me questions about Max and me. The smile back and head of to find my parents. I turn to the last Evans, Isabel.

“Hi Isabel, Happy Thanksgiving. How is college life treating you?”

“Listen Bitch, you broke my brother’s heart, so don’t go and try and kiss my ass, because I’m not your friend now nor have I ever been. Our parents forced us both to come here tonight. You say one thing to hurt him again and you will have to deal with me. You got that?” She gives me her look, and heads off into the apartment, so I guess tonight won’t be easy then?

I’m way too stunned to reply because even though I’ve never had a problem with Isabel Evans, I’ve heard that if you cross her it’s all over for you. She can be a bitch, but I never knew she was that icy and cold. I watch her walk away and I can feel my eyes burning with tears but I wasn’t going to let Miss Queen Icy Bitch see me cry. I quickly hide out in my favourite place, my balcony. I can’t do this tonight; I can’t sit at a table with them tonight. How am I supposed to eat dinner, to pretend that I’m ok, with Isabel and Max there? Knowing that they both hate me? I wonder if they will miss me if I run away tonight and go back to New York. I doubt it.

“Liz”

I wonder if I’m really quiet if Michael will go away.

“Liz, I know you are out there so don’t try and hide.” He climbs outside and looks around, nothings changed. In a way it’s comforting that at least one thing in my life is the same as it was before collage.

“What do you want Michael, I’m not really in any mood to talk to anyone.”

“I know that Isabel said something to you and that you’re upset. If you need to talk to someone I’m here for you. I won’t say anything I can just listen.”

“Michael, I messed up so bad” I feel his strong arms around me. I can feel my tears starting up again. I know now that I can’t fix this mess between us all. I can feel it in my bones.

“Liz, I know that you are hiding something and I know that Max hasn’t been the best roommate to be around since Halloween. What happen between you two?” He pulls back and looks at my face, why did he have to do that? I start to cry even harder.

“If I tell you Michael you can’t tell anyone until I talk to Max. Can you promise me?” I pull away and start pacing the balcony, I’m too nervous to sit still any longer.

“Of course Liz, I’m your cousin. That comes first before best friends.”

“Ok, I thought I saw Max and Tess kissing each other at the Halloween party. I saw Tess kiss a Zorro and them leaving together. I just assumed it was Max. I never really thought about it being someone else until Grandma Claudia asked me. I feel so stupid, I mean I can’t believe that I doubt Max and our relationship, but I couldn’t see it any other way.”

“Liz, everyone makes mistakes you’re only human, but I think you really need to tell Max that. I know that he loves you and I believe that you two can make it work out. I seriously doubt it was Max, but you need to hear that from him, I’m guessing that nothing I will say will make you believe me.” Sometimes I wonder where he gets his rational mind from; on the outside he’s a total idiot. Once you get to know him thought he’s really the sweetest guy out there.

“But Michael, he didn’t say anything to me tonight when he came in, he just gave me the most horrible look and walked away. He wont even talk to me…I’ve hurt him that much, and to top it off Isabel totally hates me. I don't know where to start Michael. I mean I don't want Max to think all I'm doing is complaining, that I've turned into a whiner, but I'm just so lost and confused and I can't see a way out anymore. I talked to Grandma yesterday and I thought I could be stronger. But everything just seems wrong and hard and I don't know if I'm strong enough anymore.”

“Liz you've never been a whiner before, and maybe you should have been, then we'd all know what you're feeling. You keep it all inside and it's not good, for you or anyone around you. I’m not to sure what to do about Isabel because that girl is just plain scary. But I know that Max is hurting just as much as you are and you have to stop pushing him away. He’s hurt and he’s angry and the way you’re both acting it’ll only get worse. I know he won’t make the first move, because yes, you HAVE hurt him that much. But you have to talk, and soon, so please I’m begging you talk to him before we go back to New York. ”

“Thank you Michael and I promise I will talk to him tonight after dinner.” I walk over and give him a hug, he holds onto a little bit longer, the comfort I’m getting from him is just what I need. But I need it from Max even more.

Michael is so great to me. I know that everyone thinks that Michael is on the closed up side but he is like a brother to me. He is like a big old teddy bear. He is the sweetest. I’m happy that I got to talk to him about all of this.

“Liz, come on we have to go in to dinner. I hear Nancy getting everyone in the dining room. At least it wont be a boring dinner right? I hope that I won’t be sitting with Maria that girl is always giving me a hard time.” He has a little smile when he says Maria’s name, I wonder if he knows he does that?

“Michael I think we should sit next to each other so that we can protect each other.”

“Right Liz, like that is going to happen. You know your mother she likes to sit us by pairs. And I bet I get stuck with Maria.” Ok the smile has been replaced with a scowl.

“Michael, stop being such a big baby Maria doesn’t bite. Maybe just a little nip at your ankles, but that is only because she thinks you have a cute butt. Oh shit, you can’t tell her I told you that.” The look on his face is priceless. For the first time today a real smile graces my face, and I sigh because I know it’ll be the last one for awhile.

“Liz, I think you need to slow down on those drugs you are taking because it is affecting your thinking.” We slowly climb into my room, I think we’re both trying to delay the inevitable.

“Sure, what ever Michael you can deny it all you want but I know that both of you like each other and I think that you need to grow a pair of balls and ask her out.”

“Shut up Liz, and let’s go to dinner.”

“Fine let’s go, but first how do I look? Like I have been crying all day?”

“Yes, they are all red and puffy. Go and wash your face with cold water and I will meet you out there.”

“Thanks a lot Mikey, make me feel better.” I walk into the bathroom and splash water on my face, I look in the mirror and see that it hasn’t really helped at all. Oh well it’s not like I wont be crying again before the day is out anyway, so what’s the point really?

As I walk in I see that everyone has already sat down and I quickly look around. I see my mother actually put our name at our places this year, just great. I think I might have to die now. I can’t believe my mother sat me between Max and Isabel. I’m not going to make it through this dinner.

As soon as I sit down I feel Isabel’s eyes on me and I hear her whispering in my ear that I better watch my mouth and not say anything to Max or even look at him. I think I will just crawl under the table and die right now….

I look around the table and find Max’s and my parents looking at us, for some stupid reason I thought that maybe they wouldn’t see that anything was wrong between us. I guess I was wrong. Has Max told his parents anything? Do they hate me as well? I need to leave, I start to push my chair away from the table when my dad stands up starts cutting the turkey, and it begins. Before I can do a thing food is being passed around and people are chatting over the music playing. I notice right away that neither Isabel or Max pass me a thing, which isn’t so bad since I doubt I could eat a thing. The only things I get from both of them are dirty looks. I know that everyone around us is starting to catch on. For the next thirty minutes I sit and pick at the food on my plate, I know the parents are looking at Max and I. But there is nothing I can do right now, I’m not going to talk to him in front of everyone, so they’ll have to deal for now.

The food is cleared from the table and Amy’s pies are brought out, coffee is passed around and before we can take a bite my dad stands and raises his glass for a toast. He does this every year, and every year they get longer and more….well more stupid. I guess stupidity runs in the family.

“Welcome everyone and happy Thanksgiving. Nancy and I want to thank you all for coming and celebrating with us tonight. I’m not going to do my usual toast tonight, apparently some people think it’s long winded” He stops to stare at Michael who ducks his head as everyone laughs, except Max and I, we just sit there and look at our plates. What I wouldn’t do right now to have him just make my hand under the table. I know he won’t do that though, before my thigh brushed his as I reached for the beans, and he flinched. He actually flinched at my touch. I must be that bad that my touch revolts him. What am I thinking of course I’m that disgusting, why would I be anything less. I made him into this so I just have to suck it up until I have a chance to try and explain to him. I really can’t wait for this night to end soon. I’m starting to think that maybe Max and I won’t be able to get past this, and it’s really starting to scare me.

“So anyway, this year I think we should all go around the table and say what we’re most thankful for this year. I’ll start….I’m thankful for my family being healthy and happy” He looks straight at me this time, great, just great. “Also for the café doing so well, I guess without the kids around giving out free food profits could only go up.” That gets a chuckle from everyone….but Max and I. Yep, we’re still just looking at out plates.

“I’m thankful for everyone who’s here tonight, you all mean something special to this family and I hope that next year we’re all here again.” This time I can feel his eyes on Max, who chooses this time to lift his head and look at my father, I follow suit and do the same. It’s then that I notice everyone’s eyes on us…where is a black hole when you need one?

“Ok one more, I’m thankful and so proud of my kids, Michael and Liz who have gone off into the great wild world and are doing so well. I know it hasn’t been easy but you’ve both made me so proud and I know your mother would be too Michael. Ok, Nancy you’re up” He sits down as my mom stands up and starts to talk…I feel this will take all night.

“I’m thankful for healthy family and friends. Like Jeff said I’m thankful for our kids doing so well at school. I’m also thankful for the peace and quiet in the house now they have left” She sits down as the parents chuckle..har fregging har.

Grandma stands up and smiles at everyone… “I’m thankful for still being around to be thankful for things. I’m thankful to my wonderful family and there friends. I’m thankful to Michael for growing up into such a strong and proud man and for Liz finally understanding life.” She sits down and takes a sip of her drink, I want to die.

Great, its Phillip Evans turn “Great idea Jeff, ok so I’m thankful for my family and our wonderful friends. Also that Isabel has finally learnt to shop on a budget, it only took 19 years.” The whole table laughs, except Isabel and me….I can see Max sport a small smile out of the corner of my eye. I love his smile.

“I’m thankful for Max doing so well in the big city, I know that without the support and friendship of Michael, Maria and of course Liz it would be so much harder. That’s it..I think..oh well Diane honey, you’re on.” He sits down, great so that’s 3 people down, twelve million to go.

“Oh my, I didn’t have anything planned. But on with the show. Like everyone I’m thankful for my family and friends, for good health and ok wealth. I’m thankful for having such wonderful kids, who have made me so proud this year with you both getting into great schools.” Diane sits down, she always was a softie, always cry’s in movies and during Kleenex commercials.

“Oh yea it’s me…I’m thankful for Maria being such a level-headed girl” Amy starts but gets stopped my Michael snorting, it’s quickly followed by a slap on the head from Maria and a warning from mom…at least no one is looking at me right now. “Yes, well for Maria doing well at school, for Liz being such a support for her and for the boys for watching over both of my girls. I’m also thankful for Jim coming into my life, and for Kyle as well.” Amy sits down and get s peck on the check from Jim, it’s so sweet that a tear escapes from my eye.

“Hi all, I’m thankful for Kyle doing so well in school, for actually studying and not going out to too many parties. For Amy becoming a permanent part of my life, for Maria being so good about it all. Oh and I’m glad that Hanson finally got the short straw so I can actually have a holiday off.” Jim sits down and gets another kiss from Amy, and here comes tear two.

“Do I have to?” Kyle says as he looks at his dad, my words exactly Kyle. My dad give him a look, as does his dad, and Amy, and Phillip, ok so all the parents are giving him looks, so he stands up.

“I’m thankful for going to school far enough away that dad can’t just visit on a whim. I’m thankful for my dorm mate getting mono and dropping out leaving me a double to myself. I’m thankful to Amy for distracting my dad now, and I’m very thankful for Shelly Winters who has made the transition to collage all that much sweeter” Kyle sits and this time everyone is looking at Kyle, I didn’t know what they expected, it’s just Kyle being Kyle. But Jim whispers something to him and Kyle looks guilty and quickly says sorry. Michael stands up and looks at me…oh god what is he going to do?

“Well I’m thankful for Aunt Nancy and Uncle Jim, for being such great parents to me. To Max for being a groovy roommate, finding someone who will watch ‘Braveheart’ every night is a rare and wonderful find. For the girls being in the same city, because it does make it all easier. For Lizzie being the best sister a guy could ask for, even with all your faults, which I hope you fix soon….and for not going to school with Shelly Winters, because she sounds like a major distraction!!! I wouldn’t want that around me or Max for that matter.” Michael sits down as Kyle leans over and whispers very loudly that it’s a good kind of distraction. Although set of looks come from the parents, although I also feel Max’s eyes are on me...why? Michael didn’t say anything. Although now it’s Maria’s turn, is it too late to not come home for Thanksgiving? Maybe there really are time machines….

“I’m thankful that although Michael is in the same city I never have to see him. I’m also super thankful to mom for being the best mother I could ask for, and to Jim for seeing what a find she really is. I’m thankful Max being such a great and understanding guy, and for Liz for being my stronger half. I’m thankful that collage isn’t as bad as I thought, and that I have people around who I can talk to when I need help, and that push me to do things I might not always want. Oh and I’m thankful my hair has grown out since the disastrous cut in January.” Laughs all around, and all I can feel is Maria’s eyes on me, that little wench. I don’t have much time to think though because just my luck it’s Isabel’s turn.

“I’m thankful for school going so well, for mom and dad being so supportive of Max and I. I’m thankful for Max seeing the light this year about his precious girlfriend. I’m also grateful for him doing so well at school, I know he will go places. I’m not so thankful for the budget I’ve been put on but I can deal.” And she sits down gracefully; I wished she would have fallen out of her chair. I wish she would be abducted by aliens, or spill coffee on her perfect outfit, what a sight to see, the perfect princess with coffee on her shirt...would anyone notice if I bump into her? I can’t believe her what a bitch. I can see her looking at me like I’m the next person on her list to kill. I can feel the tears starting back up but I won’t do it. I won’t let her see me cry or anyone else here. Before the Evans’s can say a thing to Isabel about being rude I stand up, I guess it’s my turn.

“Umm I’m thankful for mom, dad and grandma being so supportive and great this past year. I know there have been a heap changes for everyone. For Maria being the best-friend a girl could ask for, and a brilliant roommate as well. For Michael being so understanding and for helping me clear my head a little, and for Max for being such an amazing person.” I sit down and breathe….only one more person to go, then I can excuse myself and cry in my room all night.

“I’m thankful for dad and mom trusting me enough to go to school so far away, for Michael being a great roommate. For Maria and Liz for being there for him, and for Isabel for standing by me and understanding without judging. She is the best sister and is always there for me. I’m also thankful for Liz for finally making me see the truth about a few things before they got out of hand. I’m really grateful for that one.” God, he sounds so angry and bitter as he sits down and everyone is quiet…. I see everyone looking at me. I also see the way Max is looking at me. He has the look of hate and hurt. I think if Max could shoot lasers from his eyes I would be dead or at least maimed. I wait a beat for people start talking, they don’t and I do the only thing I can think of, I push my chair out and run from the table. Damn Max Evans for making me lose it here in front of everyone.

I make it into my room lock the door and fall onto my bed before the tears fall. I knew tonight was a bad idea; I knew that nothing good would come out of this. I get of my bed and grab a suitcase; I can’t and won’t stay here any longer.

As I start to pack I can hear Max’s parents yelling at him and Isabel for being rude, Maria’s voice joins in but is drowned out by Isabel, a feet in itself. I hear foot steps walking towards my door, but I don’t want to speak to anyone so I turn my stereo on to drown out all the noise. All my cd’s are in New York, so I’m stuck with the radio, flicking through the stations I can’t help but laugh through my tears, why does this happen to me? Why is every song about me?

'Cuz I can't make you love me
If you don't.
You can't make your heart feel
Something it won't.
Here in the dark
In these final hours,
I will lay down my heart
And I'll feel the power;
But you won't.
No, you won't.
'Cuz I can't make you love me
If you don't.

I'll close my eyes,
Then I won't see
The love you don't feel
When you're holding me.


I throw another t-shirt into the bag as I grab the remote changing the station before I go into the bathroom to get my things. I hear Maria and Michael banging on my door wanting to be let in.

This is the long goodbye
Somebody tell me why
Two lovers in love can't make it
Just what kind of love keeps breaking a heart?
No matter how hard I try
You're gonna make me cry
Come on, baby, it's over, let's face it
All that's happening here is a long goodbye


I turn towards the radio giving it a look, why is it playing these songs? My parents are now at my door asking me to open it. I hear Kyle offering to pick the lock…just what I need the Sheriff’s son breaking and entering. I switch the radio station again as I zip up the bag and grab another one to put the rest of my things in.

When your day is long and the night
The night is yours alone
When you're sure you've had enough of this life
Well hang on
Don't let yourself go, 'cause everybody cries
and everybody hurts, sometimes ...

Sometimes everything is wrong,
Now it's time to sing along
When your day is night alone (hold on, hold on)
If you feel like letting go (hold on)
If you think you've had too much of this life
Well hang on

'Cause everybody hurts
Take comfort in your friends
Everybody hurts
Don't throw your hand, oh no
Don't throw your hand
If you feel like you're alone
no, no, no, you're not alone

If you're on your own in this life
The days and nights are long
When you think you've had too much
of this life, to hang on

Well everybody hurts,
sometimes, everybody cries,
And everybody hurts ...
sometimes
But everybody hurts sometimes
So hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on,
hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on

Everybody hurts
You're not alone


I can’t get a break, even the radio is against me. I don’t bother to change it anymore, I just continue to pack, I have a few things left then all I need is someone to drive me to the bus station and I’m out of Roswell until next summer.

I listen at my door and it seems everyone has left, I can hear them in the living room. I wonder if Max and his parents have left, should I just walk out there now or wait a bit? I know the bus for Albuquerque leaves at 10.30pm and it’s nearly 10…I look towards my balcony and have an idea. I drag the bags out side and drop them into the alley, I then go back inside and pick up my phone to call Maria.

“Liz?” Great, I can hear everyone outside ask to speak to me.

“Maria, just get your mom’s keys somehow and meet me in the alley in 10 minutes.” I hang up and turn of my cell phone before they get the idea to call me back.

I go the bathroom and look at myself again, how did I become this person? Where did it all go wrong? It wasn’t Halloween, it was before that, I just have no idea when. I sit on the toilet and wait for the 10 minutes to be up.

I walk towards my window as I look around the room making sure I’ve left nothing behind, and I grab my jacket and purse and head outside. Before I get to the end I hear and noise and turn around, I don’t know what I was expecting, but I know it wasn’t this.


Max Evans is standing on my balcony, and he doesn’t look happy, so this is the end?


If you’re not the one then why does my soul feel glad today?
If you’re not the one then why does my hand fit yours this way?
If you are not mine then why does your heart return my call?
If you are not mine would I have the strength to stand at all

I never know what the future brings
But I know you are here with me now
We’ll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with

I don’t want to run away but I can’t take it, I don’t understand
If I’m not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

If I don’t need you then why am I crying on my bed?
If I don’t need you then why does your name resound in my head?
If you’re not for me then why does this distance maim my life?
If you’re not for me then why do I dream of you as my wife?

I don’t know why you’re so far away
But I know that this much is true
We’ll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with
And I wish that you could be the one I die with
And I pray in you’re the one I build my home with
I hope I love you all my life

I don’t want to run away but I can’t take it, I don’t understand
If I’m not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

‘Cause I miss you, body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away
And I breathe you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today
‘Cause I love you, whether it’s wrong or right
And though I can’t be with you tonight
You know my heart is by your side

I don’t want to run away but I can’t take it, I don’t understand
If I’m not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?


‘I Can’t Make You Love Me’ By Bonnie Raitt, ‘The Long Goodbye’ By Ronan Keating, ‘Everybody Hurts’ by R.E.M and ‘If You’re Not the One’ by Daniel Bedingfield


TBC......
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mmcherron
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Post by mmcherron »

Authors Note: I want to thank everyone that is reading this Fic and for everyones understanding when I was sick.

I love reading everyones feedback thank you...I love hearing what you all think. I hope you will all continue leaving feedback and even those that are lurking please leave me a little message and tell me what you think.

I hope this chapter will show you a bit of the inner Liz the Liz I hope you will see and understand.

I would like to thank my beta for the awesome work you helped with this chapter. I would like to dedicate this chapter to her my beta…Lazza you are the best…..Smooches I would be so lost without you. You are always there and willing to help and even stay up all night with me…Thank you



~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Chapter 5

~Liz POV~

When I first saw Max there staring at me I thought that I would lose it right there. I felt like I had been crying all day, but seeing Max brought a whole new set of tears to my eyes. I knew in my heart that I had to finally confront my demons. I was scared because a part of me thinks that Max is up here to tell me goodbye forever. That we were over, that he was sick of me and that he could get someone better, and I can’t even blame him either.

“Max, what are you doing here? Why are you not with your sister and family?” I don’t know whether to be elated or angry at him being up here. I think I’ll stick with weary.

“I want to know why you walked out on dinner? On US? What did I do so wrong that you couldn’t even talk to me?” He starts to pace the balcony, he’s still not really looking at me, just glances out of the corner of his eye every now and then.

“I know, I should have talked to you sooner, but I was scared. It’s not like I didn’t believe in us. But I saw something and it broke me. I felt like I didn’t have anyone to turn too anymore. I didn’t realize my HUGE mistake until it was too late. I jumped to conclusions and everything just went downhill from there. I was going to talk to you after dinner tonight. I promised myself that I would sit you down and tell you everything that I’m feeling and what was happening. But then I sat next to you and your sister for nearly 2 hours without even a word, and then you both decided to air our dirty laundry in front of family.” I can’t even look at him; it’s only now that I realize that I’m angry with him for that, that he should have stuck up for me. I look towards Max and he’s leaning against the balcony edge. Right by the ladder like he’s just waiting for an excuse to climb down it and leave.

I see him straighten up and I know he’s about to say something, but I want to, I NEED to finish this first. I put up my hand and continue on.

“No please let me finish and then you can say all you want. You may have the right to be mad and angry with me, but I would have never turned to someone else and make them turn against you. Your sister had no right to treat me like that in front of everyone. She barely knows me and yet she thinks she has the right to say that to me? The worst part isn’t that you just sat there letting her rip me apart in my home no less, but you did the same. God Max, you did it in front of our parents, how could you do that? This problem might have started with me, but you’ve sure added to it. You’ve had the last word and you did it in front of everyone our friends and family.” And with that I start crying, I can’t believe I said it all to him. I’m actually a little proud of myself right now. I reach for the blanket on the recliner and snuggle in as Max resumes his pacing, but this time he won’t take his eyes off me.

“Liz…what did you really expect me to do? You wouldn’t talk to me. I tried time and time again to get you to talk to me but NO!! You wouldn’t even hear me out, I left message after message, I emailed twice a day. I came by the dorm, I waited after classes for you and you just ignored me. What did I do so wrong to get you to hate me so?? I want to know?” And I know he’s angry and he has the right to be, I have over 80 emails from him and each one he gets a little more angry and hurt. He’s looking at me and I think he’s crying and I don’t know if that’s a good thing or not. It’s like I’m fighting this eternal battle with myself and Max seems to be right smack in the middle of it. I never meant for it to get this big I should have believed in myself and our relationship to just speak up but something was always holding me back. I thought it would show everyone that I was weak and that I wasn’t ready to be out there in the big huge scary world without my mommy. But the real reason is that I was scared that if I put everything into my relationship that somehow Max would tell me that I was too much and leave me anyway. I have to be strong now and let him know me…the real me.

“I thought I saw you kiss Tess at the Halloween dance. But the only thing is I never really thought that it might be someone else, another Zorro.” There it is, the major reason for me being who I am right now.

“You saw WHAT!!! I never kissed anyone that night. Gee, I barely even kissed you for that matter. You thought I cheated, on you, on us? I never knew that you have so little faith in us and that you thought so little of me and our relationship for that matter.” He’s stopped pacing and now he’s standing right in front of me, I look up and see those eyes and I’m lost. I see the hurt and regret, like I really broke his heart and along with seeing that I’m breaking mine right along with his.

“Max you see that’s not really everything, it’s more like the straw that broke the camels back. Yes, I wasn’t thinking straight that night and I know that I was the wrong. You have to know that I was so scared. Ever since I was little I’ve been this girl who can do anything and I’ve never been scared to try anything. And then we went to college and I thought I have to stay this strong brave person to cope, but I couldn’t and I wasn’t coping. Not even close. I felt so alone, even with all the people in New York I’ve never felt more alone.” He’s now sitting next to me, we’re not touching, but he’s close enough that I can feel his body heat. I missed him so much.

“Liz, I’m not sure I understand what you’re saying? Are you telling me that you were scared of being alone even though we were all there?” His voice is soft now; it’s back to the soothing deep voice that used to send me to sleep when we’d stay up studying in high school. The sweet deepness that would lull me to sleep when we were camping or watching scary movies and I was scared to sleep alone with Maria during sleep over movie nights.

“Max, I was alone because I let myself be alone. I wanted to not let anyone down, not you or my parents. I wanted to be strong for everyone and show everyone that I could do it. That all the changes of collage weren’t a big deal. No one else seemed to be having a problem, so why was I? I was slowly dying inside. What I didn’t know was that I was so homesick that I wasn’t thinking straight. I should have come to you sooner letting you know that I was scared. I felt like I was losing myself some how. I know that now, but it seemed asking for help was admitting I had failed and I felt weak for that.” He’s moved even closer to me, and I can tell he wants to take my hand. It’s like our first date all over again.

“Yes, you should have come to me, talked to me. I understand that being in a new place is scary but you have to not shut everyone out, shut me out. We’re all in this together, we have to help each other get through. Do you think that I’m not scared? Classes, basketball trying to deal with everything is hard but I think it’s supposed to be. Don’t you understand Liz, I thought that you were seeing someone else. I thought I’d lost you. I thought you’d found someone else but couldn’t tell me, and it was killing me. We have to work on this together, our relationship. If you are not going to met me half way on this then we won’t work out.” He stands again, I think it’s hit him again what I’ve done and the anger is still there. He doesn’t go far which I guess is a good sign, he just stands running his hands through his hair as he looks around and sighs.


“Don’t you think I know that now Max? I just don’t know how to fix this…what do I do now? I let you and everyone else down. Not by not coping but by shutting you all out, I know that now. It breaks my heart knowing that I put this distance here between us. If I wasn’t so scared I would have came to you and talked to you about Tess. But I couldn’t think straight, I thought it was you and the next day Tess acted like it was you. She led me to believe that she really did have something with you. And I believed her over you, over us and I hate myself for that. ”

“Who’s Tess?” He looks at me, he’s doing the ‘I’m looking into your soul’ stare. Is this is good thing? Should I be nervous?

“Tess, you know the slut Maria and I are always talking about. She’s the one that her daddy must have bought her way into Julliard because that girl doesn’t have one dancing bone in her. I think she hates me and Maria because we got the lead parts in the performance.” I’m angry with Tess and the more I think about it the more I’m angry with me for being so stupid. Just talking about it makes me realize what an idiot I’ve been over the last month. Why haven’t I seen it sooner? She played me like a fiddle and she must be loving the way I was slowly starting to die inside that…BITCH.

“Maybe that’s what she wanted you to believe. Did you ever think that she was playing you, that just might have played right into her hands. Liz next time you have to be open with me. I love you ad I trust you, but I can’t love and trust enough for the both of us. Do you understand what I’m telling you?” Max moves to the chair on the other side of the balcony, at least he hasn’t left yet. I can see the frustration of this conversation in him and the heart ache when I tell him this. I never knew it would be this hard seeing him go through this.

“I do love you Max. I trust you more than anyone else and now that I thought I almost lost you I know just how important you are to me. Can you forgive me? I will try harder and let you in more. I never knew that me holding everything in would turn out to be this disastrous. I have you and I have Maria and even Michael to talk too, but I didn’t and I thought I was loosing you all. So if you will give me another chance I’ll let you in, because I really can’t lose you. I now just how much you mean to me, how much your love and support helps me breathe. Because everyday I was there in Juilliard not talking to you a part me slowly died. I was so caught up in my own grief that I didn’t see that I was hurting you too.” I can’t stop crying, I’ve never put my heart on the line like this and I don’t think I’ve ever been so scared as I am right now. What if he says no? That my lack of trust and faith can’t ever be forgiven or fixed? Where would we start? Would he just give up and say it’s been nice but I can’t give it another try??

“Liz….Come here.” Max stands and starts to walk towards me and that’s all I need to jump up and run into his open arms. I really missed these strong arms wrapping around my body. I feel so safe here. I knew right then and there that I couldn’t be without him. I couldn’t help the tears that were now running down my cheeks.

“This doesn’t mean I forgive you yet for you and your sister being so rude to me in front of my family.” I pull back slightly and look into his eyes and I see tears there as well.

“Yes I know. I’m sorry for what I said tonight Liz, but I’ve been so hurt and scared and I couldn’t keep it all in anymore. I’ll have a talk with her and I’ll have a talk to everyone tonight. But I have to ask you something right now…where are you going?” He motions towards the bags on my balcony; I can’t believed I missed them there. Max must have brought them back up earlier.

“I wanted to leave here, I was going back to New York. I couldn’t face everyone again. I just need to get away. I can’t go back in there.”

“Liz you can’t run away anymore. I’ll be there to face everyone right along with you. Plus, I have to start making apologies. So lets get started and then maybe we can go for a drive and talk. Because I happen to like what is happening here.”

“What is it that you think is happening?” I start to say, but I don’t have a chance to finish because his lips meet mine in a tender kiss. I can’t believe it’s been a month since I kissed him. Ohhh I have missed those soft and tender lips of his.

“I’m getting reacquainted with my girlfriend. So, what do you say? A date under the stars tonight after we do damage control?” He’s smiling and the only thing I can do is smile back.

“I think that is a great idea”

I nervously grab onto his hand as he leads me back through my window to face everyone. Here I thought I was going to be able to sneak away back to New York but I guess my destiny is pulling me in a totally different direction. I just hope that I’m strong enough not to close up. I know that I won’t be shutting my family and friend out anymore because the consequences of that could be damaging for all involved. I sometimes hate being a perfectionist; always trying to be the best can be so tiring at times.

The next 20 minutes seem to be like a blur as I stand there looking at everyone. It’s like I’m in the twilight zone as everything is happening in slow motion. Soon I feel myself being pulled outside with Max as he buckles me into the jeep. I love that Jeep. It has so many happy memories. Like the first time Max took me out on a date.

Max had only gotten the car a week before and wanted to wait for it to have our first ‘proper’ date, somewhere were we didn’t have to get our parents to drive us or to walk to. He was so nervous that he kept on stalling the Jeep and we were so late for the movie so we had to call our parents and let them know that we had to see the later show. We went to eat first. We ended up at the drive-in and ate in the jeep it was a perfect night. Max actually opened up, it was the first time I saw the other side of Max Evans and I knew that I was hooked. I would always want to be with him.

I actually still remember the first movie we saw, ‘Scream’ at the Roswell drive-in. I was some teen horror week special event. I remember being so scared of the movie that I had to almost sit on Max’s lap. He was really sweet though and found to keep us warm. I really love the memory of that night, because the best part was right after the movie we had our very first kiss. Our first non-cheek kiss. I remember being so scared and excited all at once. The feel of his warm soft lips caressing mine makes me still have butterflies in my stomach. I love that after all this time I still get that feeling.

I hear him call my parent tell them that he is going to take me camping tonight….I wonder what my father is thinking right now. I bet he is ready to drive around searching for Max’s car right now, but I also know that I grandma will tie him to a chair to keep him from leaving the house because she believes in me and Max. I know they’ve been worried about me, but I hope they realize Max is the one I need right now.

We pull up to his house and he quickly grabs a few things from the garage. I can see he is all prepared for a little camping trip here in the desert. I even see that he grabbed the portable DVD player along with some movies.

We’re soon back on the road, it seems that he has everything we might need even some food and drinks. I can’t believe that he planned all of this so quickly and we are off into the night.

We pull up to the perfect spot. I know that we have been camping here before because I remember the radio tower that we passed a bit earlier. We set stuff up together Max is starting the fire as I lay out the blanket and getting the DVD player set up. I think that this Thanksgiving holiday is going much better then I thought it was going to be.

Maybe being perfect all the time is something that I have to work on everyday. Because I know that being right here in Max Evans arms watching Braveheart for the 100th time is where I’d always want to end up.

I have to make sure to talk to Maria when I get home because we have to come up with a plan to get back at Miss Little Daddy’s Girl and see exactly what she is trying to do because there is no way in hell I will let her get away from playing me against the man I love and exactly how did she know that I saw her kissing Zorro….It all seems to coincidental. She knows something and I played right into it.

I hope I’m never blinded like that again. But I know that I also have something that dear old Tess will never have and that is Max Evans love…..

~Maria’s POV~

I really think Max has one HUGE set of balls coming back into the dining room with Liz. First of all if I would only have be locked into the closet with Isabel for just for 5 minutes and I can shed a whole new light to that Ice Queen bitch. I wonder which closet is big enough????

I mean come on like she had any right to act that way to Liz and I front of company too. That is just so wrong. I know her parents are totally embarrassed right now with the way both of their children were acting tonight. I hope her dad puts her on a tighter budget, that’ll teach the cow.

You should have seen their faces after Max and Isabel did their Thanksgiving thankful speech. It was priceless. I wish I had my camera because that was a totally Kodak moment. The ones that I would love to share when Max and Isabel have their kids. I bet they would love that. ‘Kids, this is the day out parents wanted to kill us. See? If you look closely in there eyes you can see the rage’, perfect.

But the real kicker was when Max actually apologized to everyone here at the table while holding Liz’s hand. It was funny to see the way Isabel was acting after Max apologized for their behavior. To think that Isabel had to say sorry to Liz, that was funny. But you could tell that she really didn’t mean it. What I wouldn’t do to be a fly on the wall when her parents take her home, maybe the Sheriff has a spy camera I could plant?

After all of that was done and everyone was leaving I could tell that Michael was feeling a bit happier about Liz and Max. I think that Liz must have had a talk to him about what was happening because I noticed that Michael didn’t want to totally want to kill Max. I did see a few disapproving looks. Michael was really great because he said nothing and didn’t kill anyone, I just saw him looking at Liz like she did the right thing.

I’m only hoping on finding out what has happened because just 15 minutes before Max and Liz came in holding hands I had gotten a call to meet her out in the alley. So I’m only hoping that she finally was able to tell him what happen. Maybe now she’ll open up to me as well and we can go back to being us.

I know that Max and Michael had planned on doing something tonight. Michael knew what was happening when Max and Liz left, because he told Max not to worry and that he was going to stay behind. So I guess they were going to do a little camping trip on their own but now I think that might have changed to Liz going and Michael staying behind.

I can’t believe how much Michael has grown up, and in what 12 hours? I know that Michael has a deep and special place for Liz because they are closer then most real brothers and sisters. I could only wish that one day I could have that.

The funniest thing it I can really see that happening now. My mom and the Sheriff are getting it on and every second that I was home I could tell that they were hinting that something might happen.

Kyle Valenti would then be my brother. Oh no now that I would have to get used too. The jock himself, he totally thinks he’s gods gift to the female race. Now I have to remind him everyday how that is so not true. This brother and sister thing could be fun.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Ohh this is pretty good because it’s now 11:00pm and I actually have a movie date with Michael Guerin. Can you believe that? Yes I’m totally not dreaming. We are seeing a total guy movie but at least I’m not at home listening to my mom getting it on with the Sheriff.

Michael is taking me to see Doom. It’s the midnight Thanksgiving movie the cinema always has on, I guess people need to get away from family after a long day being all thankful and crap. It’s the new Rock movie that is out. I’m just happy to be with someone and since Liz is busy with Max out in the desert I can handle Michael for a few hours. Because the Rock is HOT.

I really can’t wait to see Liz because we have a huge talk to have, I mean hello? She’s camping, alone with Max, can we spell s.e.x? I can only hope that tonight goes as well for me. Hopefully I won’t have to smack Michael on the head because I know that he is still that stupid gene. You know the one that doesn’t let men think before they speak. So let see what happens. Be he is actually dressed nicely, so far so good. He has a hot pair of blue jeans hugs his ass ever so nicely…. Shoots I’m looking at his ass. What is even worse is I’m thinking about the way his lips look so kissable right now. So lets see if I actually make it through all of this….




TBC……
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mmcherron
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Authors Note: Hi everyone I’m here to drop off my chapter. Thank you for being patient I know with my headaches coming all the time I have been late but today is Friday so I’m actually on time today.

I want to thank all the readers that leave me great feedback. I love to hear what you have to say about them. I hope that I won’t let any of you down.

Thank you too lurkers for reading if you feel like it drop me a note letting me know how you feel. I love to hear from you too.

Ok this chapter is skipped 5 months since the last chapter. I hope you all like it.

Lazza Thank you bunches you are an awesome beta and thank you for all the help you are always there for me even when we are different sides of the world. Thank you for all the help and information you can always helping me with. I can’t wait to see what happens in the upcoming chapters working with you is always a blast….Smooches


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Chapter 6

~Maria POV~

Here we are again waiting at the airport. Except this time we are not going home to Roswell, the funny thing is we haven’t had a fight or some type of drama driving us crazy. No instead we have a Tess Harding the bitch of all bitches traveling with us.

Yes, it’s been 5 months and counting since we were home last. Everything has changed for us all. First off Alex isn’t gay, but he still lives with us. Actually the biggest thing is after we left Roswell was that Isabel actually came to New York and really tried hard in apologizing to us all about her behavior.

Guess what happen after that? She decided to stay here and go to school. Yeah Ms. Ice Bitch Princess herself came here to make all of us suffer. Sometimes I wonder what I did wrong in a past life to have this karma….I mean, me and Isabel in the same city??? Sure it’s got like 10 million people, but that still isn’t a big enough buffer for me. Of course Alex loved the idea. He’s been trying everyday to get her to notice him since Halloween. It’s really sad and pathetic to see sometimes, well all the time actually. Alex follows her around like a little lost puppy looking for its owner. But you never know I think he is wearing her down, because it seems Isabel is coming with the boys to Australia for vacation and to see our final performance.

Yep you heard right Australia, home of the Kangaroo and the Koala bear (although Liz has told me it’s not a bear at all..anyway), also home of warmer weather and cute surfer boys. Our whole dance class is going. Apparently our performance was so good that Julliard decided to send us to perform in Australia. And the best thing is that it’s free. They got some grant from the government and all, I didn’t really listen, alls I heard was free trip to Australia. Home of Steve Irwin, Nicole Kidman, and well a whole lot of boys that I’ve never met.

You don’t even know how nervous I am right now. Liz makes me sick sometimes, it’s like she never loses it. Sitting at the gate looking all cool and smug, like she goes to Australia all the time. I’m watching her and she is cool as a cucumber I have no idea how she does it? She’s listening to that CD Max her lover boy made for her. Since we got back to New York after Thanksgiving they have been slowly working with their relationship. It’s back to gross and loveie doveie all over again.

They seem to have gotten lost once again into their own little world. Then I’m stuck with Michael Guerin the man that can drive me crazy and wanting to pull my hair out in one second; and at the same time or a second after make me want to rip his clothes off and have my naughty way with his sexiness. Damn it…gotta stop thinking about Michael like that, gotta stop thinking about Michael like that…gotta stop….

So you really see my problem here. My first problem is I’m still a virgin and I’m become sexually frustrated. It seems everyone on our floor is having sex. It seems everyone on TV is having sex. It seems everyone in the whole is having sex, except me. I can’t wait to relax in Australia. I had a blast shopping for new clothes. Yes everyone, I do have a ‘little’ shopping problem. But I did have Liz with me too because lord knows that girl needs help shopping for outfits. But we had Isabel with us the Queen of all Queens. She was great shopping I think Isabel is slowly melting a bit since Thanksgiving. Which is kinda hard since New York has been like living in a deep freezer, I can’t wait for semi warm weather, and a tan. I’m glad Isabel is well defrosting, or I was going to have some words locked in a small room she may be taller then me but that wouldn’t stop me.

Ohhhh, I hear them calling our plane, we can board out plane now? Can we? Oh god…do I want to? Stand and walk towards the plane Maria, deep breathes. I hope we have at least one good movie or something to do because this flight is LONNNNNNNNG. I think my ass is going to be flat after this flight and I don’t need that to happen. I happen to love my ass and I spend lots of time working on that.

I walk over to Liz and hit her on the arm to get her attention because she has her earphones on she can’t hear the raspy voice calling our flight.

“Chica, I know you are listening to your lovers’ voice. I saw that he made you a CD just for the flight but do you think that you could pull yourself out of your Max fog to get you pretty little butt on the plane?” That girl would have sat there until midnight listening to what ever he put on that CD before noticing that we all have left.

“Ouch, violent much Maria, that hurt. I’m coming, but you didn’t have to hit me. You are just jealous that my cousin didn’t give you anything.” I watch her run away from me. Oh that little…

“Go ahead, run Liz but we have a very long flight, well flights and you’re sitting next to me in the plane. You can’t hide and my payback is a bitch. You hear me!!!” Like I would be mad that…that bone head I thought we were having a thing, a semi homicidal thing, but a thing all the same. He could have given me something…Anything, but nooooo. He couldn’t even do a simple good bye have a safe plane ride see you in a week.

No I had to watch my best friend and her ever so sweet boyfriend Max kissing and being all loving to each other. I swear sometimes they can be so nauseating to watch or even to be around.

Then we stood there watching them and they actually have the gall to think that we want to watch them act like, then after we peel them apart they look at us like we did something wrong. I mean come on people. Am I the only one in the group that doesn’t get a kiss much less a date every once in a while? I really thought that I was just starting to get somewhere with Michael but then he opens his mouth and says something just so stupid you have to hit him over the head with a bat.

So there is my story on Max and Liz. The got back together, they talk now, they make out now, and they make me throw up now. I’m jealous now….

Ohhh, I remembered that I had something to say. Remember that time we were in Roswell for Thanksgiving and I had that date with Michael? Yes? Well let me tell you I had the time of my life. I got to see the Michael that no one else gets to see. Did you know that he actually has a softer side to him? Well, he does and he was really sweet and paid for everything we did. We did get into an argument about what movie is the best. Guess what he did in the middle of our argument? He kissed me! And then that’s it, nothing, 5 months of nothing…and now I can’t stop thinking about those lips. The way he held me with his strong arms, I still dream about our night and the freaky thing is it’s getting hotter and hotter every dream I have of him.

Then it really starts to suck, because I have to look at him when he comes over with Max. I kept on getting flashes of my dreams of him. I imagine him without his shirt, kissing me like he did that night. There are days I think he feels the same way but then there are days like yesterday.

When Max, Isabel and Michael came over to wish us all a safe trip everyone brought something except you know who. Isabel actually brought Alex some sorta computer magazine because Alex is into that kind of thing. We are the only dorm room with a top of the line computer system, its great. The other guys on the floor want to use it for porn, I say we let them but start charging money; we could make a packet…anyway.

Liz, well I told you one of the things that Max gave her, not only did she get a personal CD by her man. She got magazines snacks and a Portable DVD player. And cute little Louis Vuitton Cruiser 40 carry on bag to go with her luggage that she got for Christmas. I mean Louis Vuitton??? That’s like $1000, and I didn’t even get gum, not even one little stick.

Michael that bone head just stood there. So that is my story right there. I just wished that I wasn’t the one stuck with the relationship challenged guy. I mean I really did think that we were headed someplace. Grrrr men, it’s just my luck.

~Liz POV~

It feels like it took just an hour to herd us all into the plane. When I finally got to my seat I was happy to find out that Tess the Slut of the class was sitting in the back by the bathrooms. She gets to smell them the whole long trip and the flight is full so she can’t move. Karma is a bitch isn’t it, huh Tess, teaches you for messing around with everyone’s man.

I see Maria coming our way I already knew that Alex and Maria were sitting next to me the whole flight which is great because I HATE flying. I’m always scared when flying. I mean if we were meant to fly we would have wings….Right?

“Chica, there you are don’t think I forgot what you said to me back out there. Liz…Breathe you are turning colors and we haven’t even sat down yet to take off. This is ok we will be fine. Right, Alex?”

I slowly sit down between them because I can’t stand being here and I will have both of them to hold. I quickly put on my seatbelt and tighten it as tight as it would go and I shut my eyes tight gripping both arms rest until my fingers are hurting. I just want to think that I’m in a happy place and not sitting in a sardine can being sling shot into the sky.

I feel Alex and Maria prying my hands of the armrest holding my hands. I’m starting to feel like I can’t breathe.

“Liz you have to calm down you are starting to hyperventilate. Talk to me or something. Did you take the pills that I gave you to calm you?”

“Yes I did about a half an hour ago and I took 2 of them I wanted to be really relaxed.”

“Liz you only needed to take one remember. They are strong and you are going to feel it soon. You just might sleep this whole trip.” I wish, 5 hours to LA airport, then 15 hours to Australia. Why is it so far away?

“That’s what I want. I want to sleep the whole way and not feel it if we happen to go falling out of the sky.”

“Nice Liz, You know there is more of a chance of us dying in a car accident then an airplane so shut up” I heard Maria snapping.

“How about you think of something happy, like Christmas while we get situated to take off”

Yeah, Christmas…that was great. My parents, the Evans’s and Maria’s mom came and visited us here in New York. We all had an awesome white Christmas. We went to see the huge Christmas tree in Rockefeller Center.

I even got to ice skate with everyone. It had to be one of the most memorable times in my life. Everyone was laughing and having fun. It was great to see that. Even Michael was having fun.

We all had a huge Christmas Day at our parents’ suite at The Plaza. Alex’s parents actually own that hotel. Talk about that shocker and here we thought that Alex was our gay roommate only to find out later that he isn’t gay and his parents own one of the best hotels in New York.

It was really nice of his parents for getting our parents a suite there we all had a great morning in the middle of this huge room with one of the nicest Christmas trees with so many presents under there. Isabel even was laughing can you believe that. It felt just like Home Alone 2.

My parents surprised me with the nicest luggage set from Louis Vuitton I love it. I couldn’t believe that they would buy me them, that they would spend that much money on me. They said since I’ll be famous soon and flying all over the world I need luggage that screams success. And boy does it ever. I also got great clothes from them and Grandma Claudia. Grandma got me a really special bracelet and Max got me this beautiful promise ring. Alex got me a CD collection, and by collection I mean like 50 CD’s and Michael got me a leather journal with my name embossed on it.

Maria mom got her a bunch of great clothes and jewelry. Michael even got her a present it was a jewelry box a musical one. She was really surprised. I got Maria this really nice yellow winter hat that she had her eye on and a Tiffany Best Friend Necklace.


I got Max my favorite cologne on him ‘Hugo’. I also got him a new leather jacket that looks great on him, and it looks great on me too. He thinks I brought it just so I could wear it, maybe I did. I also made him a personal photo album of our lives together. Like a Max and Liz history, I got his mom and mine to send me photos and I spent hours putting it all together. He got lots of great stuff from his parents this year. They paid for Isabel and him to not only fly to Australia to see our performance but paid for a week’s worth of vacation for both of them.

Michael I got him a helicopter ride over New York. He loves buildings and extreme things, Maria and Alex got him backstage passes to a Metallica concert because we all know he loves them. We all went to that concert it was awesome and Michael had a blast. My parents gave Michael his trip to Australia.

We all pitched in to get Alex a guitar because we knew that he loves to sing and play.

So our Christmas had to be the highlight of the year it was beautiful then we all went out to eat with Alex’s parents. It was the best.

So now it’s onto Australia, a week of performance’s then Max, Michael and Isabel arrive for a weeks holiday. I can’t believe how well it all worked out, we go a week before there spring breaks so they have the time off to visit us. It should be amazing, having a full week of nothing but us. The just the six of us, a week Max and Liz time. I can’t wait.

I bet you are all wondering what happen to Max and I since our little talk and camping trip. Well to begin with we didn’t have S.E.X. as Mara likes to say. We both agreed that we should wait until our relationship was stronger. When we are ready we will know when to take that step. We are growing stronger everyday. I can’t believe that we are going to Australia now these past few months just flew by. With practice and everything else happening trying to study and keep up I’m so tired. I know that I’m losing weight again but I have been keeping that a secret from everyone. I know I promised not to keep anymore secrets, but they’d just worry and everyone has there own stress right now. I just need to rest a little and I know once I get this performance done I will stop all the stress.

I just need to sleep for a while and I will be ok. I promise I will….

TBC……
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