Hey everyone! I'm back!
Sorry this was so long in comin but I just got back a few weeks ago and was still adjusting to being home and catching up on my studies! Thanks for being so patient and for the wonderful feedback. Hopefully the next parts won't take so long! For now enjoy part eight...
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Part Eight</center>
Dropping my keys on the table near the door, I take off my coat and take Zan’s as well, my eyes already moving over to the insistent, flashing red light of the answering machine. I bite my lip in trepidation, already knowing whose left the messages and why.
This thing has been going on for the past few days now. Every day I come home to find six, seven messages on my answering machine, each more threatening than the other. I’ve ignored them so far but, acknowledging the fear I feel, I realize that maybe I’m not going to be able to continue doing that any longer.
Almost wanting to delete the messages before I even listen to them, I force my way over to the phone, my finger hovering over the play button. Do I really want to do this? Do I really want to hear what I know is going to be on the tape? Do I really need to go through this once again? I could just ignore them, ignore the calls, ignore everything. But then the repercussions could be much, much worse. I don’t want to be taken by surprise, especially now that Zan’s here with me.
Bracing myself, I press the play button, leaning back against the wall for support as the machine whirls to life and Maria’s voice fills the apartment.
* Beep *
“Liz, I’m sure you recognize my voice from the fifty million messages I’ve left over the past two days but…this is Maria. I’ve been trying to reach you for days! Why aren’t you picking up your cell? Call me when you get home.”
* Beep *
“Liz, it’s me again. Where are you? Is Dr. Steadman keeping you tied to your chair in the lab because that’s the only excuse that will be a good enough reason for me not to kill you! Call me!”
* Beep *
“Liz Parker, I swear to God if you don’t pick up this phone right now and talk to me, I will fry your ass, without the help of powers, and then personally put you on the next spaceship to orbit the planet for the next fifty years! I doubt you’ve been kidnapped by evil alien scum so that can only mean you’re ignoring me! Why the hell are you ignoring me? Liz, I’m worried. Please, please pick up your damn phone!”
* Beep *
“All right, that’s it! You’re officially not my best friend anymore! Go find yourself a new friend. And just for the record, you’re no longer Jake’s godmother. I deny you of that privilege!”
* Beep *
“What? That threat didn’t work? Don’t you care about me? Or Jake? God, if only I can reach out through the machine and strangle you, I would! Do you know how frantic you’re making me! Michael’s actually telling me to stop bouncing off the walls! Michael noticed and he doesn’t notice anything! Why are you ignoring my calls, messages, emails and texts?”
* Beep *
“Liz, this is Michael. God, just get over whatever is your problem and call Maria! She’s driving me insane with her nagging!”
* Beep *
“All right, since you won’t call me or pick up I might as well tell you through this abominable thing…Liz, in case you haven’t noticed, Christmas is only a week away. Come. Home. We miss you! We want you here!...Just don’t expect any presents after this stunt of yours!”
* Beep *
“Okay, one last time to make sure you got it. Next week. Christmas. You. In Roswell. No discussion about it. I’ll pick you up from the airport. Let me know your flight details…and Liz, you are coming! I won’t hear a ‘no’!”
* Beep *
God, how could I forgotten that Maria could be that scary and persistent. Letting my head bang against the wall, I sigh and rub my face as the machine clicks off. I don’t think I can ignore her for much longer. I’m sorely afraid one of these days I’ll open my door and find her at my door step, ready to drag me to Roswell. I wouldn’t put it past her either.
When I open my eyes, I find Zan staring with a mixture of amusement and nerves at the machine.
“Wow, she was sounding angrier than yesterday.” He says. He turns to look at me. “She’s…”
“Annoying?” I ask with an amused smirk.
Zan grins but shakes his head. “Scary. I don’t want to make her mad!”
I laugh at that, pushing away from the wall and coming to ruffle his hair. “Yes, that Maria can be!” I sigh once again, looking over at the phone. “Think I should call her?” I ask Zan.
Zan pauses to think about it, his face scrunching up and his eyes intense. He nods after a moment. “You should.”
“All right. After dinner, then.” I promise.
All through dinner I’m nervous. I keep going over what I need to say to Maria in my head. It’s not going to be easy to convince her that I’m not coming to Roswell for Christmas, especially when I have no intention of telling her the actual reason why. I know she’ll be disappointed and probably even hurt but it’s just too risky to go to Roswell right now.
And admit it; you’re scared of meeting Max… A small voice in my head points out. I bite my lip, unable to lie to myself.
Max was the reason I left Roswell, and he’s one of the reasons I’m unwilling to go back. Because I’ve made it a point never to ask about Max, I don’t know what’s going on in his life. I don’t even know if he’s not off searching for Zan, the son who, ironically, is here with me.
This year would have been my first Christmas without him and suddenly I’m more grateful than ever for Zan’s unexpected arrival. I know I’m not ready to go home but I’m not sure I would have made it through Christmas without my family and friends. Last year’s Christmas doesn’t count because it had barely been two months since I left Max and we were still foolish enough to believe we could be around each other and not hurt. I hadn’t been alone last year, this year I would have been.
How many Christmases will I spend avoiding Roswell? How many more before I am able to just let go? How many before I’m able to love someone again…?
God, I hate feeling like this. I hate feeling as if I’m never going to move past this, past Max. He’s the first boy I’ve loved, the first boy who managed to make me believe that I was beautiful, someone to be cherished and loved with passion and devotion. How could it have ended this way? I was so sure we were meant to be together. We were together in the other timeline. How drastically did I manage to change time?
Feeling my cheeks wet with tears, I wipe at my eyes. I’ve not been this emotional in months. Maybe it has something to do with Zan. It’s not easy seeing Max’s face reflected in his day in, day out. I’ve learnt to shut out the connection my heart tends to make but there are weak moments when I can’t see beyond the resemblance. Most often it’s at night, while Zan sleeps next to me on my bed, that I find myself staring at his face for hours, thinking about the children I never had, thinking about the man I loved and lost.
But, what the most ironic thing is, that though Zan may remind me of Max, though he may remind me of why Max and I couldn’t last, I can’t hold him responsible. I know Zan is the reasons why Max and I are not together anymore. I know that if Tess had never come to Roswell, never gotten pregnant, Max and I would have been together even now. And yet knowing all that, I don’t hate Zan.
With everything that’s ever happened in our lives, I’ve learnt to accept that it is our own actions, our own mistakes that lead us to where we are today. It isn’t Zan’s fault that I’m divorced; it isn’t his fault that Max and I were never able to get past this one obstacle when we managed to get past everything else. Though it’s painful to admit, Tess was right. Max and I are entirely to blame for the situation we are in now.
“You’ve got to stop this, Liz. Don’t think.” I mutter to myself as I feel the sadness wash over me. “It’s only misery and heartache.”
Pushing Max as far back from my mind as possible, I dial Maria and she picks up after only two rings. I’m assuming she saw my number of caller ID because she didn’t even bother at a greeting before launching at me.
“So, you finally deemed me worthy enough to call.”
“Maria…” I sigh, in no mood for her dramatics but Maria cuts me off sharply.
“Don’t ‘Maria’ me, Liz Parker! You’re gonna sit through my lecture and stop acting like you don’t give a damn about me.”
Because I can hear the hint of hurt in her voice, I am instantly contrite and filled with regret at my childish behavior. “I do give a damn about you, Maria!” I tell her. “You know I love you.”
“And I love you too,” She sighs in resignation. “But, damn it chica, you’ve got to stop running.”
“I’m not running.” I know exactly what she’s talking about and though I don’t want to get into it, just having spent the past fifteen minutes crying over Max Evans, I know I’m about to be pulled in anyways. “I just don’t want to…” I trail off, not sure what I don’t want to do.
“Face him?” Maria finishes for me. “Liz, you have to sometime.”
“I’m not ready, Maria.” I reply softly, not sure if my unwillingness is really because I’m not ready or because I don’t know how I’ll handle explaining Zan and thus Tess to everyone.
Maria is silent on the other end before she sighs wearily. “Look, Liz. I’m not trying to push you into something you’re not ready for. I just…Sometimes I wonder if you don’t get over this…fear of yours, you never will.”
I don’t reply, her words hitting me hard.
“He was the love of your life, Liz. Your soul mate. The guy you’ve been in love with since the third grade!” Maria goes on, her voice filled with sympathetic understanding. “I understand why this must be hard for you but are you sure that waiting longer will make it any easier for you to face him?”
“It can’t make it any harder,” I grumble but then reply, “I’ll get over it, Maria. I know I will.”
“Are you really sure?” Maria’s voice is quite and knowing. “Liz, you and I both know you have this habit of running away from your problems, especially when that problem is related to Max.”
Shocked, and a little hurt, I flare up. “That’s not true! How can you say that, Maria?”
“Look at your history, Liz! What did you do when Max and the others got that message from their planet? You ran away to Florida. What did you do when Future Max asked you to save the world? You tried to run away to Sweden! This time you’ve run away to Albuquerque!”
“I came back, didn’t I?” I find myself snapping. “I came back from Florida, I took Max back even after everything!”
“You came back because you didn’t have a choice then…” Maria falls silent before she goes on. “And maybe you went back to him because the decision to leave him was not made by you, at least not exactly. This time the decision to leave was your own, Liz, and I’m not sure if you’re going to be able to face the consequences of that, nor if you want to.”
“I think…” My voice trembles with unshed tears and I pause to control it. “I think that I’ll find the courage to see him again one day because it was my decision to leave. I’m just not sure when that will be.”
“I’m worried about you, Liz.” Maria insists kindly and I find myself feeling bad for having snapped at her earlier. She is just trying to help. “I’m not asking you to go back to him. I’m just asking you to come visit your family and your friends for Christmas. That isn’t too much to ask, is it?”
Closing my eyes and leaning my head tiredly against the back of the sofa, I sigh. I don’t know how she can do that, how she can make me feel so guilty about things. “No, it isn’t Maria,” I reply. “Look, I’ll think about it, okay? And I really will…”
Maria considers it before sighing as well. “All right. I guess that’s good enough for me.” She pauses and I can almost picture her hesitation as she debates something.
“What?” I ask.
“I-I…I’m sorry if I hurt you with some of the things I just said right now.” She apologizes in a rush.
She had hurt me. Some of the things she had called me out on hit me hard but I also know that she had only said what was true, what I myself had recognized and accepted a long time ago. I had been a kid then, I hadn’t been perfect. But that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt now hearing it.
“It’s all right.” I tell her. “It’s about time I heard that from someone.”
“So, we’re okay?” She asks hesitantly.
“We’re okay.” I smile then. “And Maria? Thanks…”
“For what?” She asks, surprised.
“For giving me a good dose of reality every now and again.” I laugh before adding softly, painfully, “And for not letting me push you away.”
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* * * * *</center>
My breath comes in short, painful gasps as I find myself running through the vast, abandoned fields. It’s dark, the stars providing the only light for me. The breeze whispers slightly through the tall grass and I can hear my heart pound maddeningly in my chest as I whip my head around to see if I’m being followed.
I can hear him, I can hear his footsteps as he follows me through the field and I feel the fear rise like bile in my throat. He can’t get to me. I mustn’t allow him to come close. Yet, even as I try to run faster, I stumble, a cry falling past my lips. The footsteps stop and I curse myself. He’s heard me, I know it. Even as I push myself off and begin to run again I know it’s too late. I know he’ll find me. Somehow, he always does…and this time I know I’ve got more to fight for, more to protect….
With the fear still lodged in my throat, my eyes fly open. For a second I wonder where I am and it takes a while for my eyes to become adjusted to the dark. I can feel my heart still beating fast in fear and, sitting up in bed, I pry back the sweat soaked covers and pad over to the bathroom to splash my face with cold water. Feeling shaky, I grip the sink tightly, the dream still clear in my head.
It’s been years since I’ve had a nightmare such as this one. It’s been years since I’ve woken up screaming. I’ll never get used to it. I’ll never get used to waking up with the terror still clawing at me, the panic settled deep within. The last time I had the nightmare had been right before Larek had come to tell us that Khivar was dead. After that, the nightmares had just stopped. Neither Max nor I had understood then why they had, I had been too grateful that I wouldn’t have to go through them anymore to care about the reasons.
God, what’s brought them back? I wonder as I run a hand through my hair.
It’s been years…so why now?
I go back into my room and stop when I see Zan’s silhouette on my bed. I had forgotten for a moment that he was there and am glad my dream didn’t wake him. I know I’m still too unsteady and won’t be able to go back to sleep. I need to get some air, clear my head and the images of the dream from my head. Pulling my robe on, I slip my feet into my slippers, ready to head out to my small balcony.
Just as I am about to pull open my bedroom door, however, a small sound outside catches my attention. I freeze, my fingers gripping the doorknob. It distinctly sounded like someone had slid open one of the windows. I feel the alarm bells go off in my head.
Someone’s in the apartment! I realize with fear. My gaze instantly swivels to Zan, the fear I felt in my dream turning into something more tangible and deadly.
Straining to hear, I stifle a gasp when I hear more movement outside the hall. For one terrifying moment I think that who ever it is will come barging into my room and, though I know I should do something, I’m unable to move. I can hear my own heart beat loudly and ridiculously wonder if the intruder can hear it as well.
When I hear the person move into my office a few door downs, I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding. I know I can’t keep standing here. I have to move or else it’ll be too late. I’m not foolish enough to think it’s a robber. With the kind of life I’ve known, that’d just be expecting good luck. Added to the fact that I know I locked all the windows earlier, I’m pretty sure that whoever is in the apartment is not human. He could not have picked the locks on the window without triggering the alarm. I know that whoever is here is someone who’s out to get Max…or who’s out to get Zan.
“Damn it!” I hiss to myself as the possibility strikes me.
I don’t know just how real the danger is. I don’t know if whoever is here is really here for Zan or not but I’m not going to wait to find out. I whirl around and run to Zan. I have to get us out of here. Shaking Zan awake, I place a hand over his mouth so he doesn’t cry out.
“Come on, honey! We have to leave!” I whisper urgently to him even as I pull him out of bed and grab his shoes.
Zan’s eyes are instantly alert. Though I can see the fear in them as he hurriedly pulls his shoes on, there’s calmness in his moves that make me wonder how often he’s done this before; how often Tess has woken him up in the middle of the night because they’ve had to run.
Even as I’m grabbing my own shoes, my ears are straining to hear where the intruder is. I can still hear him moving about in my office and I wonder what he’s looking for. I wonder why I’m not scared.
Once Zan has put on his shoes, I make a motion for him to remain silent and I cautiously make my way to the door. We have to get out of the apartment. How we’ll do that without being heard or seen is beyond me but pushing my worry aside I crack the door open and peek outside. Right now, it’s just about getting Zan and I out of here as quickly as possible.
It’s still outside. Though I can’t see anyone, I know the intruder is still inside. Mentally mapping out the apartment in my head, I figure that the best option is to use the fire escape but for that we have to cross the hall…and my office.
“Damn it, damn it, damn it!” I chant to myself, forcing myself not to shake with fear as I grab Zan’s hand. I don’t fear for myself, I fear for Zan. “Zan, stay close and keep quiet. And when I tell you to run, run! Got it?”
Zan nods, his hand anxiously clutching mine as his gaze shifts to the hall outside and back to me. Taking a deep breath, I pull open my door and step out in the hall. I pause for a second, making sure that whoever it is, is still inside. When I don’t hear any movement, I pull Zan behind me as we begin to creep silently towards the balcony.
I resist the urge to glance inside the office to see who it is. Maybe it would be better if I just sealed the office door shut with my powers but I don’t know how long that will hold whoever it is off, especially not if they have powers. And, in doing so, I would just be warning them about us. If we can make it out of the apartment without being heard or seen, so much the better. We have just made it to the balcony when I feel my blood freeze. I hear a shout and I know we’ve been spotted. Not hesitating, I push Zan outside.
“Zan! Go!” I cry out even as I turn around to blast blindly at the person rushing down the hall towards us. It’s too dark to even see make out if it’s a man or woman but there is something eerily familiar about the person.
I don’t have time to analyze it though and shaking my head I throw another blast. It barely grazes the shoulder, much to my frustration. Somewhere in the back of my mind I wonder why the person hasn’t made a move yet, why they haven’t deflected any of my blasts or thrown one of their own.
I want to check to see if Zan’s safe, if he’s made it down but I don’t dare turn around. I don’t want to be taken off guard and I know that, regardless of what Tess might have thought, my powers are not strong enough. I am not even able to bring up a shield like Max could. I have to follow Zan, I have to keep him safe but how do I do that without being caught by this man? Worse, how do I know that someone isn’t downstairs, just waiting to grab Zan, having already anticipated our escape?
“What do you want?” I shout as I take a step back, almost fearfully. “He’s just a kid! Leave him alone!”
“What we want with him is so much bigger than you, human.” The intruder growls. “Give him to us.”
The voice is male but even though I can’t place it, the man once again strikes me as eerily familiar. Though I can see his face in the moonlight, to my frustration he’s wearing a mask. Before I’m able to think about it however, the man stops and pulls something out of his jacket, raising it to take aim at me.
The sharp glint of metal has me going cold. It’s funny how I can face aliens and powers and hold my own but shove a gun in front of me and I find myself unable to move. I’m reminded of yet another moment in my life when I saw a gun pointed in my direction, heard it go off and hit me. Max had been there to save me then…who will save me from dying today?
“Don’t do this…” I choke out, knowing deep down that this is no idle threat. “Please…”
“Why not?” The man asks, and I can hear the amusement in his voice. “No one can stop me, can stop us! You’ve been a hindrance for a long time, Liz Parker. We should have done away with you a long time ago.” When I can only stand rooted to my spot filled with growing panic, the man shrugs. “Doesn’t matter…I’m here to finish this today…make it look like a robbery…no one will know…especially not the useless police.”
“Max will know.” I manage to spit out, knowing instantly that he would. “He would know and he’ll stop you even if you kill me today!”
“This plan has been put in motion years before you were even born.” The man replies, cocking his gun. “It is meant to be. Zan is meant to be ours. Who are any you to try and stop us?”
“Who is us?” I cry out, wanting to know even when faced by my imminent death. I can only hope Zan’s managed to get away, out of reach of this man. “Why would the Council do this to their own king?”
“Our king died the day he deserted us!” The man spat. “And it’s time you died as well!”
The sound of the gun going off is softer than I imagined it would be. Everything seems to go in slow motion as I see the bullet speed its way to me. A scream is lodged in my throat but I can’t open my mouth to even scream, the fear paralyzing. Any second now I expect to feel it tear through my flesh, feel my life ebb away from me. Instead I find myself cocooned in a warm green shield and watch in shock as the bullet crashes into the shield and splinters into pieces as if made of only glass.
“Liz!” I hear Zan’s voice and I can hear it falter and I know instantly that Zan’s the one who did this. He’s the one who saved me. And, by the way the man turns around to flee; I know he knows he’s just lost his chance.
I know Zan won’t be able to hold the shield and I instinctively press my hand against the shield, feeling the gooey texture of it. Through the shield I concentrate on blasting the man before me, desperate not to let him get away. But even as I hit him, he manages to deflect my blast with a shield of his own and is out the front door before I can do anything more.
The minute the man is gone, the shield drops and I whirl around. I know I should probably go after him but right now my main concern is Zan. I find him slumped against the window and looking totally drained. I gently pull him through the large window and into the apartment. Letting myself slide down to the floor, I gather his small body close to mine. He lets me hold him close, curling into me. I can feel his heart still pounding with fear and I finding myself trembling at my close call.
I pull away slightly and brush away his bangs from his face. “Are you okay?” I ask, fighting to control the fear in my voice. “Are you hurt?”
When he shakes his head, I feel relief erupt in me. His face is tired and his blue eyes still wide with fright. Pulling him against me once more, I take comfort in the fact that aside from being rattled, Zan is okay.
“God, why did you come back?” I chide him now. “You should have run, found someplace safe to hide. Don’t you know how dangerous it would have been if that man found you?”
“He was going to kill you.” Zan replies and I can hear the tears in his voice. “He-He had a gun…he shot at you…”
Once more realizing just how close I came to dying, I close my eyes, forcing back the shaking in my body. I run a comforting hand through Zan’s hair, at once grateful for him not having listened to me. I would have been dead otherwise.
I pull back to wipe the tears that have spilled down his cheek and feel my heart clench in my chest when I realize just how deeply attached I’ve become to the boy and how much he cares for me as well. I had never expected to but somehow, somewhere in these short two weeks, Zan’s become one of the most important people in my life.
“You saved me, Zan.” I murmur. “You saved my life…”
Just like your father once did… Not daring to voice that thought however, I glance around the apartment. “We can’t stay here…” I say. “It’s too dangerous. That man may try to come back. We have to go someplace safe, someplace where we won’t be found…”
“Where will we go, Liz?” Zan asks, looking so young and vulnerable in the pale moonlight that I find myself holding him tighter to me, desperate to protect him at any cost. “The man will find me again.”
“No, he won’t!” I promise Zan fiercely. “I won’t let him.”
Pulling both myself and Zan off the floor, I nudge him in the bedroom. “Come on; we have to get out of here fast! I don’t know if that man won’t send someone else here. It’s not safe here anymore.”
Zan quickly puts some of his things into his back pack and I pack some of my own stuff and grab the emergency bag I’ve always got at ready, stashed away in my closet. I can’t help but wonder how the Council found Zan this fast. Neither Tess nor I would have thought that they would figure out so soon where Tess had left her son.
The thought plagues me all through the silent ride through the city. I can feel Zan’s worry grow with each passing minute and I force myself to turn my thoughts away from the man and onto Zan. I reach out and grab his hand and give it a quick, reassuring squeeze.
“It’s going to be all right.” I say quietly. “I’ll figure something out.”
Zan doesn’t say anything but nods, turning his attention back out to the dark streets. Watching him, I bite my lip, once more wondering where we can go at this time of night. Somehow nothing seems safe anymore. We could always go to a hotel but I feel uneasy going there. I already know I have to go back home to gather up some stuff that I don’t dare leave behind. We can’t go back there, at least not for a while, not until its safe again.
Whenever that may be…I think to myself. But I can’t let myself think about right now. Right now, I have to get us to someplace safe.
And suddenly, without any more thought I know just where to go. The answer leaves me feeling jittery and cold.
It’s so obvious that I can’t help wonder if it’s just a coincidence or fate’s love for the ironic. After all, wouldn’t it be just like something that would happen to me? Wouldn’t it be just like fate to force me to go back to the one place I have been desperate to avoid? Even the thought of going back home to Roswell has the nerves spearing through me. My mouth goes dry and I find myself consciously having to stop myself from tugging at my hair in sheer panic.
It looks like I’m going home for Christmas after all…
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TBC. . . </center>