New part... hope you enjoy it...
There is only one success - to be able to spend your life your own way. ~ Christopher Morley
~*~*~*~
Part 20 – Let It Be
~*~*~*~
Alex shook his head in annoyance as his hand dropped down again.
Taking a breath he steadied his jaw and lifted his hand quickly, knocking before he had the chance to stop himself.
He attempted to steady his breathing again as she opened to door. There was a moment where they both just stared at each other.
“Hey,” he said, smiling slightly.
“Hi.” She pulled the door open further, moving out of the way. “Come on in.”
Alex moved passed her, and as he brushed passed her he felt like shivering. He looked around the hallway. Pictures decorated the walls, family snapshots, some of the people he recognized, others he didn’t. He tried to avoid looking straight into her eyes as she passed him, gesturing for him to follow her.
“I’ve got you everything I could think of. If there’s anything else…” she trailed off as they reached the living room. “There’s the baby books and everything…” she pointed to the coffee table, which was piled with photo albums.
Alex raised his eyebrows at her, smiling.
“So I like taking pictures. Is that a crime?” Her cheeks blushed slightly and Alex couldn’t help but stare at that. Since when did the Ice Queen blush?
Alex grinned at her, before moving to sit on the couch, where she followed. “This is a great place… you been here long?”
“A few years,” she replied, passing him a large white album. There was an imprint of feet on the front and a blue ribbon tied around it. She gestured for him to open it and he did as he was told. He was greeted by a black and white sonogram picture. “Jesse took me out of state… for obvious reasons. But this is Jake’s first picture.” Isabel grinned at him, but Alex was more engrossed in the image before him than in her.
He turned the page and there was Isabel. Isabel still with the short dark hair, but still… when he looked at her she seemed closer to the person he knew than the real woman sitting beside him. She was looking down at the small bundle in her arms, and she looked tired but happy. Her hair was a mess, her face still slightly red but she looked so happy she obviously hadn’t noticed.
“Max delivered him at my parents’ house. We weren’t sure what was going to happen and Max had been reading up on medicine for months so it was a risk we needed to take. Seventeen hours later out comes this little red crying… thing.” She smiled wistfully and when Alex looked at her he’d honestly never seen her more beautiful, which was really saying something about Isabel Evans.
Isabel Ramirez.
He swallowed as he continued to look through the book. He watched the boy grow steadily older, his hair seeming to get darker with every picture.
He didn’t know what he was supposed to feel.
But he wasn’t feeling it. It was a cute kid. He was slightly in awe of the fact that this was his son. But looking at the pictures it wasn’t a boy, it was an… it.
After about an hour of looking at photo’s and listening to Isabel reminisce about the first time Jake did absolutely anything, Alex was desperate to change the subject to anything else.
Which was why an hour later, when Jesse and Jake arrived home from the movies, Alex was in hysterics and Isabel wasn’t much from them herself. “And then…” She giggled, actually giggled like a schoolgirl. “Then she says, ‘But Tess, I gave you a hundred dollar bill, not a fifty,’ and Tess, calm as anything takes the bill out of the register, her hand over it obviously and shows the exact same bill to the woman as a fifty, her signature and everything, then takes it straight back. Just changed it right before her eyes and very calmly said, with a smile ‘Next time you try and have sex with my boyfriend do it when I’m not in the same room. Thank you. Don’t come again.’ So that’s why Kyle’s not a personal trainer anymore.”
Alex laughed with her, so loud in fact that neither of them heard the front door open and close until there was a kafuffle in the doorway.
Laughter and squealing filled Alex’s ears and his stomach filled with dread.
He was terrified.
The thing that scared him more than anything was less than four feet tall and currently being carried into the room on a man’s shoulders.
Jesse stopped as he saw Alex, and although he was obviously shocked he hid it well as he dropped Jake to the floor, muddy clothes and all.
He ran to Isabel, his footprints staining the carpets bad enough that Alex was certain Isabel would be using less traditional ways of cleaning later that night.
Grabbing the squirming child, Isabel immediately turned to Alex. “Alex, this is Jacob. Jacob, this is Alex.”
Alex did the only thing he could think of and held out his hand. “Hi,” was all he could think to say.
Jake looked at him for only a moment but obviously didn’t find him very interesting, as instead of replying he just looked back at his mother. “Hi. Mommy, Daddy says I have to have a bath. I don’t want a bath.” He stuck out his bottom lip in stubbornness and Alex moved his hand back to his pocket.
Isabel spoke to him in a tone that was so motherly it struck Alex for the first time that that was who she was now. A mother, not a Prom Queen. “Jake, you’re dirty. If you want to watch your soccer match, you need to get clean first. Then you can watch your game with Alex.”
“Sure. I love soccer,” Alex lied. But it didn’t matter as Jake just ignored him.
“Football, Mommy! It’s football!” Jake chastised her and Alex was almost about to tell Isabel that it was impossible for Jake to be his son unless he’d actually been in a ten and not a five-year coma, his voice was so grown up. But then he struggled onto the floor and ran passed all three of them and out the door.
“I’ll go,” Jesse said simply. “It’s good to see you, Alex.”
Alex watched Jesse chase Jake to the bathroom, the little boy squealing with excitement.
How could he compete with that?
Did he even want to?
~*~*~*~
Jim came home at what was roughly considered lunchtime. Roughly. Also it wasn’t his home yet, he still had to borrow Tess’s van and other annoying details. But it soon would be, for the second time. Home.
He’d promised Amy he’d come around for lunch. He was due at one and it was now fourteen minutes past. That was a personal record. Only fifteen minutes late for a lunch date? Miracle.
He’d barely even closed the front door before a whirlwind of blonde barged in and past him.
“That you, Jim?” he heard Amy ask, but before he could get the simple word ‘yes’ out of his already open mouth, Maria replied to her mother.
“It’s just me, Mom. But he’s loitering at the door.”
Jim followed her into the kitchen, kissing the seated Amy before sitting down beside her. Meanwhile Maria went on, grabbing food from various cupboards while Amy just stayed seated, possibly not even listening to her daughter. “I stayed over with Liz, it was a support thing. I might stay with her tonight, too. See ya later, I’m gonna try and find my almost-brother and sister. Bye.” Then she was out of the room, and before Jim could even say goodbye he heard the banging of the front door.
He turned to the woman he was about to live in sin with for the second time. “Who exactly do they think they’re fooling?” he asked her.
Amy shrugged. “Themselves… oh and maybe Nancy Anne. She never gets any real gossip.”
“Why doesn’t it bother you?” Jim asked her, intrigued by her attitude.
Amy didn’t really have an explanation. “Maria has to make her own mistakes. And Michael has to stand up her at some point.”
“What if he doesn’t?” Jim reminded her. “What if he’s happy with the situation.”
Amy smiled knowingly. “He’s not happy. Believe me the only other reason he could spend half his weekend over at this place fixing everything that’s even vaguely broken is that he’s got a crush on me. And I think I’m just a few years too old for him.”
Jim nodded. “Only a few?” he replied, on his feet and dodging her hand as it came to hit him in return.
~*~*~*~
Alex sat there, biting his lip so hard he was expecting to taste blood at any moment.
This was his son.
His son.
Who was much more interested in the soccer match on the television than in any kind of communication with the man he didn’t know was his father. Biological father, anyway.
It was a strange thing for Alex. He was expecting to feel… something when he first met Jake.
Some kind of sensation. Wasn’t there supposed to be an immediate bond between them? Wasn’t he supposed to know what to say, how to speak to this boy?
To his boy.
His son.
But he didn’t. He didn’t know how to act, what to say.
In any case Jacob was much more interested in the television screen than this new person in his life.
Alex watched him in silence, smiling slightly at his captivated face.
Jake’s eyes flickered as he followed the ball around the field, his face scrunched up dramatically, and Alex looked back at the TV just in time to see a grown man go flying through the air, the expression on his face almost enough the warrant an Oscar nomination. “Diver,” Jacob proclaimed, and Alex felt the grin almost split his face at the totally serious expression. “He should be carded.”
“Yeah,” Alex nodded his head vigorously. “Definitely.” He had absolutely no idea what he was agreeing to, but he did feel something… something he liked when Jake turned his head and looked at him, really looked at him for the first time. The sensation was gone as quickly as it came when Jake turned his attention back to the game.
“Who’s playing anyway?”
The game was forgotten quickly as Jake turned towards Alex, his face incredulous. “It’s the World Cup. In Germany,” he said simply, as if that would explain everything. “You didn’t know it was the World Cup?” he asked again, his expression so much like Isabel that Alex almost laughed.
“I’ve been asleep for five years,” he said, honestly. “I’m a little out of touch.”
“Are you really lazy?” Jacob asked, his face earnest.
“Maybe a little… but mostly I seem to just have really, really bad luck.” He grinned at Jake, who smiled back, but only slightly. Mostly he just looked confused. Alex looked down at him before pointing to the screen. “I know nothing about Soccer.”
“It’s football,” Jake replied immediately.
Alex nodded. “Okay… so… who’s playing, then?”
Jake seemed to consider Alex for a moment, just staring at him, as if he could see into Alex’s soul his eyes were so deep. In that moment, in that short moment, when Alex looked, he saw it. He felt it.
His son.
Then Jake looked away and it was gone.
~*~*~*~
“I can’t believe it…” she shouted, after dropping the phone onto the hook.
“Can’t believe what?” he asked, lounging on the sofa.
“Pamela Troy. I ring to speak to your mother and who answers?”
“I’m guessing not my mother.”
“Don’t joke… it’s like she’s stalking me and can’t you talk to your parents about employing her?” Liz asked him.
Max smiled from the couch. “She’s gonna be a great attorney. My parents are just giving her a bit more work experience.”
“Then what’s she doing here?” Liz asked through gritted teeth.
“She’s just here for a few weeks…” he placated her.
Liz sighed in annoyance. “Tess was talking to her last night. About wedding plans,” she added.
“She’s getting married?” Max inquired, not really interested.
“Oh yep… she’s been with the same guy all through college, they’re getting married next year, Joe something.” She fiddled with the ring on the chain around her neck. “She does everything I do when I do it.”
“I don’t think you can take credit for her getting married,” Max reminded her, rolling his eyes.
“It’s just annoying,” Liz said simply. “She’s always… there.”
“You haven’t even seen her in four years, Liz,” Max told her, getting a little weary of the conversation lingering on.
“I just want to beat her at something… anything…”
“Liz you’ve beaten her at plenty of things,” he reminded her.
She dropped down beside him and he could see her pouting slightly. “I’m being silly aren’t I?”
“I wasn’t gonna say anything,” Max told her before pulling her close.
~*~*~*~
When Will and Susie returned later that night the living room looked as if it has been attacked by a herd of wildebeests. At the centre of it all was Alex, surrounded by paper.
“What the hell happened here?” Will asked, gesturing to the piles of books and magazines covering any free space in the room.
Alex stopped his scribbling and looked up at the surprised pair. “Did you know the World Cup’s going on right now? In Germany. We’re out already but you can’t have everything.”
“The World what?” Susie inquired, moving into the room, cautiously avoiding the mass of books.
“Cup… it’s soccer, well football. Biggest tournament around, massively important and I intend to know everything there is to possibly know about it.” Alex went back to his magazine.
Susie looked at Will. “Jacob’s a big fan, apparently.”
Alex continued. “Yep… the kid’s obsessed. But check this out…” He held up a picture of a trophy before explaining. “That’s what they’re fighting for. It’s not even a cup so I don’t see how it can be called the World Cup when it isn’t an actual cup, but…” He shrugged before dropping the magazine and grabbing his papers again. “Also… I’ve made a list.” He thrust it up at Susie before pushing himself up to stand next to her. “I got the idea from you,” he told her smiling.
She smiled back before taking a look at what she was holding. Her smile actually got wider. “111 things to do before I die…” she read aloud. “Catchy title,” she complimented him.
“Well, it was going to be 101… but then I thought of a few more and… then a couple more…” he smiled again—grinned, actually. “But I’ve decided to stick at 111…”
“Well 98’s out,” Susie interrupted him. “They decommissioned Concorde a couple of years ago.”
“Really? Well, visit Rome’s back in then...” Alex was genuinely disappointed. “Look over the rest will you? The last thing I want is to spend a week trying to meet someone only to find out they’re dead.”
Susie smiled at him, she was proud of him. “No problem… then we can do something about this bungee jumping you’re so keen on… oh and walk down Abbey Road… oh I used to be able to do the splits… well, when I say the splits I mean like half of them but that gets me a point, right?”
Will stared at the two of them for a moment as they started to laugh and tease each other. Instead of joining them, he just left the room, making a beeline for the phone in his father’s office.
~*~*~*~
Thanks for reading.
Ethan[/i]
Cast No Shadow (CC ALL,Mature) Pt 24 15/10/06 [WIP]
Moderators: Anniepoo98, ISLANDGIRL5, truelovepooh, Forum Moderators
Part 21 – Here Comes the Son
We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are.
~ Anais Nin
~*~*~*~
Part 21 – Here Comes the Son
~*~*~*~
Alex woke with a start, the images and sensations running through his mind. He breathed heavily and could feel the sweet running off his brow.
Sitting, he clenched his fist at the tingling sensation and tried to lose the smell of burning flesh, the agony and pain that seemed to cripple his body every night.
He moved quietly out of the room, taking in the time. Three-thirty, much too early to get up, but Alex just didn’t feel like going back to bed just yet.
There was also an emotion he got from his dreams… the feeling that he was just inches away from something. So close and yet so far away.
He didn’t like it one bit.
Moving downstairs he was surprised to find the living room already occupied and the television showing the weather channel before flicking to the next and then another as his brother moved rapidly through them.
“What’re you doing up?” Will asked, dropping his bottle onto the side table as Alex sat down beside him.
“I could ask you the same thing,” Alex replied simply, and Will nodded, not going any further.
“Anything interesting on?” Alex asked.
Will shrugged, passing the remote to his brother. “You pick.”
Alex continued through the channels until he came to the sports section. He finally stopped on a channel showing a Soccer game.
Will looked at him in confusion.
“Jake likes it.”
He remembered. “Oh, yeah. He likes soccer?” Will asked, amused.
“Football,” Alex replied instinctively. “Don’t ask me the how’s or why’s but he loves it.”
“Weird… Guess that proves he’s yours,” Will observed.
“Thanks,” Alex conceded as he continued to watch the match, trying to understand it. “Manchester United.”
“They his team?”
“Yep,” Alex replied. “I know nothing about them apart from they have a guy call Ryan Giggs who runs a lot. All the bits I managed to get a hold of were about countries and stuff. I need the specifics if this is gonna work.”
“Huh… you know you could probably find some stuff online or something.”
Alex nodded. “That’s a good idea… think you could drop me off at the library tomorrow?” Taking the small movement of Will’s head as a yes, Alex continued. “I like watching it… it’s nice.”
“Okay…” Will replied.
There was silence as they watched the game.
“Why are you still staying here?”
Will shrugged. “Sometimes you just need some time apart…”
“You know with Mom actually liking her I would‘ve thought you’d…” Alex trailed off as he knew Will was ignoring him. He simply stared at him, as if that would help him understand. “You can talk to me you know?”
“I know… I just needed some space…” Alex took in his appearance; his blinking eyes showing the need for rest.
“Why don’t you go get some sleep?” he said quietly, worried.
“I’m not tired,” Will lied.
“Okay…” Alex accepted, turning back to the game. He grimaced at a particularly vicious tackle. “Oooh, that’s gotta hurt.”
Will just nodded and kept staring at the screen.
~*~*~*~
She entered like a whirlwind, flouncing in like she’d never been gone and practically jumping into a chair next to him. Jim immediately lost his interest in the missing persons report before him.
“So when are you gonna make my mother an honest woman?” Maria asked, grabbing a piece of toast from Amy’s plate.
Jim managed to stop himself from spraying orange juice all over. Just. He coughed and looked up to see Maria smirking. A Michael smirk if ever he saw one.
“I don’t know, it didn’t exactly work out last time we tried,” He told her honestly.
“If at first you don’t succeed, try, try, try again.” Maria replied quickly.
“Have you been speaking to your mother?” he asked her, suspicious of his almost stepdaughter.
“Maybe I have, maybe I haven’t,” she replied cryptically.
“Because if she wants to get married, she has to ask me this time,” Jim stated unequivocally.
“But you’d say yes?” she enquired, standing up and seeming to loom over him in a way someone thirty years younger and at least a foot shorter shouldn’t be able to. It was a DeLuca loom and he’d seem many over the years.
“Probably.”
“Okay.” She smiled at him, starting to leave the kitchen before turning back. “Thanks future step dad.”
Then the whirlwind was gone and Jim suspected he’d just agreed to something. He wasn’t sure what though.
~*~*~*~
“How can you not love this?” she asked, gesturing outward to the landscape. The quarry did look pretty nice, even he had to admit that.
“I just spent most of my life in Roswell thinking about how to leave it,” he shrugged.
“It’s beautiful,” she emphasized, and Alex smiled as he watched her. He’d never felt this way about anywhere in Roswell, probably because he lived in it, saw it everyday. Susie thought the desert scenery was beautiful. He liked that enthusiasm.
“Maybe,” he smiled slightly. “But it just feels like if there’s a bright center of the universe then I’m on the planet it’s farthest from.”
She turned towards him. “Is that Episode 4?”
Alex turned to her solemnly. “Marry me… seriously.”
“I’m gonna have to say no.” She pointed to herself. “In love with your brother,” she reminded him.
Alex’s head fell back in exaggeration. “Ah well… I knew it was too good to be true.” He kicked a rock beneath his feet. “We used to meet here, long time ago.”
“In a galaxy far, far away?” Susie joked as she picked up a rock and threw it outwards, listening for the pop as it entered the water. “You and Isabel?”
Alex shook his head. “Nah… my gang.”
Her mouth formed a circle. “Oooh Jets and Sharks?”
Alex grinned at her. “No more like pink ladies and…” he clicked his fingers as he tried to remember the reference.
Susie started laughing. “Ha! T-Birds! You will never beat me on musicals, Whitman. They’re my bread and butter.”
“I’ll remember that for future reference,” he told her he started to walk around her, kicking the rocks beneath his feet.
“Talk,” she told him simply.
“What about?”
She blew out a breath of air. “Well you know all about me and Will… what about Isabel? What's it like?”
“It’s weird. I mean… she’s a grown up. Not that she wasn’t before but…” He grabbed a rock from the floor. “It’s her hair. God even her hair’s completely different!” He threw it before running his hands through his own hair. “How can I move on when I see her everyday?” He sighed before smiling at his friend. "Hey. You know what I could do? Write a book, and then of course a screenplay and then a successful spin off series." He dropped his shoulders in emphasis. "Maybe I could do a voice over like on Farscape?" He put on a fake Southern accent and put his fisted hand up to his mouth as a microphone. "'My name is Alex Whitman and five years ago I should have died but... I didn't. Now... I'm trapped in a town with people who stare at me, I have a girlfriend who's married and a five-year-old son... despite the fact I only lost my virginity ten days ago... This is my story.' What do you think? Comedy or really weird soap opera?"
"I'd go down the Soap route... but maybe that’s just me. I've always had a weakness for weird things." She looked away from him and pointed towards him at the same time, tongue firmly in cheek.
"And you picked me to be one. I'm touched." He held his hand to his heart.
She nodded, her face a mask of seriousness. "You should be... I'm very picky about the weirdo's I befriend." She looked at him again, her tone changing to what he suspected was her serious voice. “You’re such a great friend Alex.”
“Yeah, like I’ve never heard that before,” he responded half serious. “Hey… you wanna meet my biological son?”
“Really?”
“You’d be doing me a massive favor.”
Susie shrugged. “Sure.”
~*~*~*~
Isabel took a surreptitious look at Alex, taking in his smiling face and overall relaxed demeanor. He was watching their son. His son.
He was also watching his friend’s conversation with Jesse.
Isabel felt an irrational feeling well up inside her. Not because she was talking to Jesse but because Alex was so interested in it.
“Susan’s a good friend of yours, isn’t she Alex?” she enquired.
Alex smiled at her and Isabel felt an ache inside. “She’s great. You should have seen some of the girls Will brought home before her… I mean Mom practically had them out the door before they’d even had a chance to drop their bags… Sometimes she was actually justified, too.” He shook his head. “I don’t know why he even bothered. Mom never liked any of them so we never saw the same one twice…” He looked back at Susie and waved at her. She returned it. “Susie’s different… Mom loves her.” He looked back to Isabel. “I think we’ll see her twice, unless my brothers an even bigger idiot than I thought…”
Isabel smiled slightly, nodding. “Does she ever talk about her…” she trailed off as she watched Alex. He wasn’t listening to her, instead he was looking at Jake and Jesse who were playing tag.
It hurt both of them, she couldn’t let him watch anymore, so she spoke.
“Let’s get dinner out to them…” she told him, gesturing to the plates before them.
Alex nodded, smiling, but Isabel could see it wasn’t completely real. That hurt her too.
~*~*~*~
“Amy I swear I will be home in fifteen minutes…” He had probably lied to the woman he loved. Jim knew that as soon as he’d said it because there was no way he could make it all the way across town in fifteen minutes, no way on earth. Maybe on Antar. But he was on Earth so that wasn’t really an answer. “I promise.” Which was also gonna be a lie in fourteen minutes unless she’d stop talking to him. “Gotta go. Love you.” He dropped the phone into the cradle before she had a chance to reply and went for the door.
Hanson caught him literally steps away from the door. “Chief!”
“Hanson… Amy DeLuca is going to literally kill me if you don’t let me go.”
“It’s just this missing persons report…”
Jim interrupted him. “Give the boys the description. That’s all. I don’t even know why they even bothered opening the net this far anyway, he was probably just putting his pen in the company ink or the boss’s wife and took a midnight flight before anyone noticed. He’s probably in Cuba right now.”
“He doesn’t really look like a charmer,” Hanson replied, looking down at the unassuming photo attached to the file. “More like a mouse.”
Jim would have ordinarily agreed but… “Except his car’s gone, his savings account is cleaned out, no one’s seen or heard from him and he lived with his mother. He probably wanted to escape and that’s all this would be if he didn’t have a few letters after his name and a Mercedes.”
Hanson nodded. “You’re right… you better get going.”
“If Amy calls you tell her I left ten minutes ago. As in if she calls in five minutes I left fifteen minutes ago. Get it?”
Hanson bobbed his head. “Got it.”
“Good.” Jim hurried out the door.
He was so dead and Hanson was so fired.
~*~*~*~
“You’re a great dad,” Isabel told him as they cleaned the table, Jesse watched them out the corner of his eye before turning his attention to Jake.
“I don’t think I’m there quite yet,” Alex replied honestly. “I think it’ll take a lot more than presents to make up for the time I’ve lost.”
Isabel smiled at him. “You’ll get there. You’ll be great, just like I knew you would.”
“Well… it’s nice to know you have such confidence in me.”
“I always knew what a great father you’d be… how great you’d be with Jake,” she smiled wistfully and Alex was starting to find her determined opinion unnerving. “You’ll play with him and teach him guitar, just like you should.”
Alex swallowed, looking back to Jake. “I guess.” He looked at Isabel again. “You thought about that?”
Isabel smiled at him. “Of course… I’d always think about what it would’ve been like.”
“Yeah, a kid and still in high school, I guess I shouldn’t ever be a Sex Ed teacher, huh?” His voice became more sardonic. “I can’t do diapers, never could. Plus a job and everything. It must have been so hard for you, even with Jesse.”
Isabel shook her head, disagreeing. “It wouldn’t have been like that. It would’ve been fine, we’d have been fine. It’d be hard, and we’d struggle but we’d’ve made it. You’d have been there for me…” She trailed off and Alex realized that she’d obviously thought about it a lot.
And they all lived happily ever after. He said silently to himself.
Alex again looked at her, taking in how happy she looked at that moment. He couldn’t help but find it unsettling how she’d thought about that, even if it was only make believe.
He wasn’t sure he liked her version of himself.
He was even less sure that it bared any resemblance to himself.
~*~*~*~
He was awake again, something that seemed to be a common occurrence for him now.
He didn’t remember what the dreams were about but the flash of blonde hair he always remembered probably meant Isabel. He always awoke with a feeling of helplessness, pain in his temples and a feeling of… power.
Like something was flowing through him. It scared him. It scared him more that he kind of liked it. The feeling of control the power gave him that the dream itself took away.
As he walked down the stairway he could see the shadow at the front door. He paused for a moment before going further down the steps.
Maybe it was the dream but he felt more in control at he spoke. He wasn’t scared of who was there. “Stay there. I’ve got a gun.”
The figure stopped and turned, halfway out the door as Alex flicked on the table light and illuminated his face.
Alex’s jaw dropped but it wasn’t from surprise. It was annoyance. It was anger. He felt his jaw clench as he took in the person before him.
Alex had never been more disappointed in anyone than he was at that moment.
Because standing in front of him was his favorite brother.
Bag in hand, about to leave without saying goodbye.
Again.
Alex did the first thing that came into his head.
He hit him hard, right in the jaw.
~*~*~*~
Thanks for reading
Ethan
~ Anais Nin
~*~*~*~
Part 21 – Here Comes the Son
~*~*~*~
Alex woke with a start, the images and sensations running through his mind. He breathed heavily and could feel the sweet running off his brow.
Sitting, he clenched his fist at the tingling sensation and tried to lose the smell of burning flesh, the agony and pain that seemed to cripple his body every night.
He moved quietly out of the room, taking in the time. Three-thirty, much too early to get up, but Alex just didn’t feel like going back to bed just yet.
There was also an emotion he got from his dreams… the feeling that he was just inches away from something. So close and yet so far away.
He didn’t like it one bit.
Moving downstairs he was surprised to find the living room already occupied and the television showing the weather channel before flicking to the next and then another as his brother moved rapidly through them.
“What’re you doing up?” Will asked, dropping his bottle onto the side table as Alex sat down beside him.
“I could ask you the same thing,” Alex replied simply, and Will nodded, not going any further.
“Anything interesting on?” Alex asked.
Will shrugged, passing the remote to his brother. “You pick.”
Alex continued through the channels until he came to the sports section. He finally stopped on a channel showing a Soccer game.
Will looked at him in confusion.
“Jake likes it.”
He remembered. “Oh, yeah. He likes soccer?” Will asked, amused.
“Football,” Alex replied instinctively. “Don’t ask me the how’s or why’s but he loves it.”
“Weird… Guess that proves he’s yours,” Will observed.
“Thanks,” Alex conceded as he continued to watch the match, trying to understand it. “Manchester United.”
“They his team?”
“Yep,” Alex replied. “I know nothing about them apart from they have a guy call Ryan Giggs who runs a lot. All the bits I managed to get a hold of were about countries and stuff. I need the specifics if this is gonna work.”
“Huh… you know you could probably find some stuff online or something.”
Alex nodded. “That’s a good idea… think you could drop me off at the library tomorrow?” Taking the small movement of Will’s head as a yes, Alex continued. “I like watching it… it’s nice.”
“Okay…” Will replied.
There was silence as they watched the game.
“Why are you still staying here?”
Will shrugged. “Sometimes you just need some time apart…”
“You know with Mom actually liking her I would‘ve thought you’d…” Alex trailed off as he knew Will was ignoring him. He simply stared at him, as if that would help him understand. “You can talk to me you know?”
“I know… I just needed some space…” Alex took in his appearance; his blinking eyes showing the need for rest.
“Why don’t you go get some sleep?” he said quietly, worried.
“I’m not tired,” Will lied.
“Okay…” Alex accepted, turning back to the game. He grimaced at a particularly vicious tackle. “Oooh, that’s gotta hurt.”
Will just nodded and kept staring at the screen.
~*~*~*~
She entered like a whirlwind, flouncing in like she’d never been gone and practically jumping into a chair next to him. Jim immediately lost his interest in the missing persons report before him.
“So when are you gonna make my mother an honest woman?” Maria asked, grabbing a piece of toast from Amy’s plate.
Jim managed to stop himself from spraying orange juice all over. Just. He coughed and looked up to see Maria smirking. A Michael smirk if ever he saw one.
“I don’t know, it didn’t exactly work out last time we tried,” He told her honestly.
“If at first you don’t succeed, try, try, try again.” Maria replied quickly.
“Have you been speaking to your mother?” he asked her, suspicious of his almost stepdaughter.
“Maybe I have, maybe I haven’t,” she replied cryptically.
“Because if she wants to get married, she has to ask me this time,” Jim stated unequivocally.
“But you’d say yes?” she enquired, standing up and seeming to loom over him in a way someone thirty years younger and at least a foot shorter shouldn’t be able to. It was a DeLuca loom and he’d seem many over the years.
“Probably.”
“Okay.” She smiled at him, starting to leave the kitchen before turning back. “Thanks future step dad.”
Then the whirlwind was gone and Jim suspected he’d just agreed to something. He wasn’t sure what though.
~*~*~*~
“How can you not love this?” she asked, gesturing outward to the landscape. The quarry did look pretty nice, even he had to admit that.
“I just spent most of my life in Roswell thinking about how to leave it,” he shrugged.
“It’s beautiful,” she emphasized, and Alex smiled as he watched her. He’d never felt this way about anywhere in Roswell, probably because he lived in it, saw it everyday. Susie thought the desert scenery was beautiful. He liked that enthusiasm.
“Maybe,” he smiled slightly. “But it just feels like if there’s a bright center of the universe then I’m on the planet it’s farthest from.”
She turned towards him. “Is that Episode 4?”
Alex turned to her solemnly. “Marry me… seriously.”
“I’m gonna have to say no.” She pointed to herself. “In love with your brother,” she reminded him.
Alex’s head fell back in exaggeration. “Ah well… I knew it was too good to be true.” He kicked a rock beneath his feet. “We used to meet here, long time ago.”
“In a galaxy far, far away?” Susie joked as she picked up a rock and threw it outwards, listening for the pop as it entered the water. “You and Isabel?”
Alex shook his head. “Nah… my gang.”
Her mouth formed a circle. “Oooh Jets and Sharks?”
Alex grinned at her. “No more like pink ladies and…” he clicked his fingers as he tried to remember the reference.
Susie started laughing. “Ha! T-Birds! You will never beat me on musicals, Whitman. They’re my bread and butter.”
“I’ll remember that for future reference,” he told her he started to walk around her, kicking the rocks beneath his feet.
“Talk,” she told him simply.
“What about?”
She blew out a breath of air. “Well you know all about me and Will… what about Isabel? What's it like?”
“It’s weird. I mean… she’s a grown up. Not that she wasn’t before but…” He grabbed a rock from the floor. “It’s her hair. God even her hair’s completely different!” He threw it before running his hands through his own hair. “How can I move on when I see her everyday?” He sighed before smiling at his friend. "Hey. You know what I could do? Write a book, and then of course a screenplay and then a successful spin off series." He dropped his shoulders in emphasis. "Maybe I could do a voice over like on Farscape?" He put on a fake Southern accent and put his fisted hand up to his mouth as a microphone. "'My name is Alex Whitman and five years ago I should have died but... I didn't. Now... I'm trapped in a town with people who stare at me, I have a girlfriend who's married and a five-year-old son... despite the fact I only lost my virginity ten days ago... This is my story.' What do you think? Comedy or really weird soap opera?"
"I'd go down the Soap route... but maybe that’s just me. I've always had a weakness for weird things." She looked away from him and pointed towards him at the same time, tongue firmly in cheek.
"And you picked me to be one. I'm touched." He held his hand to his heart.
She nodded, her face a mask of seriousness. "You should be... I'm very picky about the weirdo's I befriend." She looked at him again, her tone changing to what he suspected was her serious voice. “You’re such a great friend Alex.”
“Yeah, like I’ve never heard that before,” he responded half serious. “Hey… you wanna meet my biological son?”
“Really?”
“You’d be doing me a massive favor.”
Susie shrugged. “Sure.”
~*~*~*~
Isabel took a surreptitious look at Alex, taking in his smiling face and overall relaxed demeanor. He was watching their son. His son.
He was also watching his friend’s conversation with Jesse.
Isabel felt an irrational feeling well up inside her. Not because she was talking to Jesse but because Alex was so interested in it.
“Susan’s a good friend of yours, isn’t she Alex?” she enquired.
Alex smiled at her and Isabel felt an ache inside. “She’s great. You should have seen some of the girls Will brought home before her… I mean Mom practically had them out the door before they’d even had a chance to drop their bags… Sometimes she was actually justified, too.” He shook his head. “I don’t know why he even bothered. Mom never liked any of them so we never saw the same one twice…” He looked back at Susie and waved at her. She returned it. “Susie’s different… Mom loves her.” He looked back to Isabel. “I think we’ll see her twice, unless my brothers an even bigger idiot than I thought…”
Isabel smiled slightly, nodding. “Does she ever talk about her…” she trailed off as she watched Alex. He wasn’t listening to her, instead he was looking at Jake and Jesse who were playing tag.
It hurt both of them, she couldn’t let him watch anymore, so she spoke.
“Let’s get dinner out to them…” she told him, gesturing to the plates before them.
Alex nodded, smiling, but Isabel could see it wasn’t completely real. That hurt her too.
~*~*~*~
“Amy I swear I will be home in fifteen minutes…” He had probably lied to the woman he loved. Jim knew that as soon as he’d said it because there was no way he could make it all the way across town in fifteen minutes, no way on earth. Maybe on Antar. But he was on Earth so that wasn’t really an answer. “I promise.” Which was also gonna be a lie in fourteen minutes unless she’d stop talking to him. “Gotta go. Love you.” He dropped the phone into the cradle before she had a chance to reply and went for the door.
Hanson caught him literally steps away from the door. “Chief!”
“Hanson… Amy DeLuca is going to literally kill me if you don’t let me go.”
“It’s just this missing persons report…”
Jim interrupted him. “Give the boys the description. That’s all. I don’t even know why they even bothered opening the net this far anyway, he was probably just putting his pen in the company ink or the boss’s wife and took a midnight flight before anyone noticed. He’s probably in Cuba right now.”
“He doesn’t really look like a charmer,” Hanson replied, looking down at the unassuming photo attached to the file. “More like a mouse.”
Jim would have ordinarily agreed but… “Except his car’s gone, his savings account is cleaned out, no one’s seen or heard from him and he lived with his mother. He probably wanted to escape and that’s all this would be if he didn’t have a few letters after his name and a Mercedes.”
Hanson nodded. “You’re right… you better get going.”
“If Amy calls you tell her I left ten minutes ago. As in if she calls in five minutes I left fifteen minutes ago. Get it?”
Hanson bobbed his head. “Got it.”
“Good.” Jim hurried out the door.
He was so dead and Hanson was so fired.
~*~*~*~
“You’re a great dad,” Isabel told him as they cleaned the table, Jesse watched them out the corner of his eye before turning his attention to Jake.
“I don’t think I’m there quite yet,” Alex replied honestly. “I think it’ll take a lot more than presents to make up for the time I’ve lost.”
Isabel smiled at him. “You’ll get there. You’ll be great, just like I knew you would.”
“Well… it’s nice to know you have such confidence in me.”
“I always knew what a great father you’d be… how great you’d be with Jake,” she smiled wistfully and Alex was starting to find her determined opinion unnerving. “You’ll play with him and teach him guitar, just like you should.”
Alex swallowed, looking back to Jake. “I guess.” He looked at Isabel again. “You thought about that?”
Isabel smiled at him. “Of course… I’d always think about what it would’ve been like.”
“Yeah, a kid and still in high school, I guess I shouldn’t ever be a Sex Ed teacher, huh?” His voice became more sardonic. “I can’t do diapers, never could. Plus a job and everything. It must have been so hard for you, even with Jesse.”
Isabel shook her head, disagreeing. “It wouldn’t have been like that. It would’ve been fine, we’d have been fine. It’d be hard, and we’d struggle but we’d’ve made it. You’d have been there for me…” She trailed off and Alex realized that she’d obviously thought about it a lot.
And they all lived happily ever after. He said silently to himself.
Alex again looked at her, taking in how happy she looked at that moment. He couldn’t help but find it unsettling how she’d thought about that, even if it was only make believe.
He wasn’t sure he liked her version of himself.
He was even less sure that it bared any resemblance to himself.
~*~*~*~
He was awake again, something that seemed to be a common occurrence for him now.
He didn’t remember what the dreams were about but the flash of blonde hair he always remembered probably meant Isabel. He always awoke with a feeling of helplessness, pain in his temples and a feeling of… power.
Like something was flowing through him. It scared him. It scared him more that he kind of liked it. The feeling of control the power gave him that the dream itself took away.
As he walked down the stairway he could see the shadow at the front door. He paused for a moment before going further down the steps.
Maybe it was the dream but he felt more in control at he spoke. He wasn’t scared of who was there. “Stay there. I’ve got a gun.”
The figure stopped and turned, halfway out the door as Alex flicked on the table light and illuminated his face.
Alex’s jaw dropped but it wasn’t from surprise. It was annoyance. It was anger. He felt his jaw clench as he took in the person before him.
Alex had never been more disappointed in anyone than he was at that moment.
Because standing in front of him was his favorite brother.
Bag in hand, about to leave without saying goodbye.
Again.
Alex did the first thing that came into his head.
He hit him hard, right in the jaw.
~*~*~*~
Thanks for reading
Ethan
Part 22 – Something in a Shade of Gray
Another day... another part... hope you lot like it...
Nothing worth having comes without some kind of fight
You've gotta kick at the darkness 'til it bleeds daylight.
~ Barenaked Ladies - Lovers in a Dangerous Time
~*~*~*~
Part 22 – Something in a Shade of Gray
~*~*~*~
Will held his free hand against his jaw and rubbed it. He dropped his bag to the floor, letting it fall from his grip through the shock.
He didn’t look at his brother. Instead he glanced downwards and looked at the fallen backpack.
“You bastard,” Alex said, his tone menacing, not something usually associated with the youngest Whitman.
“Now we’ve been through this before… Mom and Dad are definitely married,” he tried, pushing against his jaw to check for loose teeth.
“Tell me I’ve made a mistake,” Alex implored him. Will’s non-reply was the answer he desperately didn’t want. “You could have everything I’ve ever wanted, and you’re just going to throw it all away because of what?”
Will stayed silent but for the first time looked at Alex.
“Why?”
“I’m not you,” Will replied simply.
Alex shook his head in disbelief. “You’re just leaving without a word… you’ve got no consideration for other people’s feelings!”
“You have no idea what you’re talking about. You don’t even know me,” Will shouted back. “What about you? Your accident.”
Alex felt himself growing more and more angry, a tingling sensation had started in his arm but he ignored it. “That’s all it was… I would never try to kill myself. You have to know that or you never knew me at all.”
“You don’t know me either. You come back into our lives after five years and you interfere with everything, you don’t know what’s happened. You don’t know who we are anymore. You call Nate and try to talk about Grace when you’ve got no right!”
“So tell me,” Alex said softly, almost begging.
“I’m not you, Alex,” Will repeated again.
“What does that mean?” Alex said, wanting to understand. “No one wants you to be me… just think about her. Don’t do this to her.”
Will shook his head. “I’m not Chris, I never wanted this… I wanted more… I wanted…”
“So why did you even bring her here? Why even bother when you knew mom was gonna…” Alex stopped suddenly as he finally understood. It clicked inside his head and he almost hated Will at that moment. “You ass. You bring them here to give you a way out, to give you an excuse to leave when there really isn’t one. You know mom will hate them and you get to stay as the good guy. But Susie’s different, mom likes her and she’s… more. So instead of doing something about it you’re running away. Just like everyone always does.”
Will was uncomfortable under Alex’s continued scrutiny. “It’s better this way.”
Alex dismissed his idea out of hand. “For you maybe but it’s not for her. She loves you Will, she’d do anything for you if you’d just give her a chance.”
“I don’t want that,” he continued to insist.
“Your wrong,” Alex told him with complete confidence. The tingling in his arm calming as he felt his confidence grow. “Your scared.”
“I’m not.”
“Your scared of everything.” Alex shook his head slightly and let a smile play on his lips as he tried to get through to his brother. “You’re scared of the truth, scared of Susie, of me. But most of all you’re scared of yourself.”
“Shut up,” Will told him, raising his voice for the first time.
“No you shut up… all my life I’ve looked up to you, I’ve listened to you, and now you’re going to listen to me. You and Mom, Dad, Nate… even Chris. You’ve controlled me, kept secrets from me, tried to protect me with lies and half truths but it’s my turn now and you are gonna listen to me if it’s the last words we ever say to each other.”
Will was shocked by Alex’s outburst, it was the shock more than anything that gave Alex time to continue.
“You can’t live your life afraid of things. I don’t like being in a car anymore, I don’t like the smell of it. Sometimes when I let myself remember I can feel the burning and smell the rubber… I can hear the tires squealing. You’re afraid of what happened to you… you’re afraid of how she makes you feel. It’s the same as me… Tell me honestly that I’m not right?”
Will paused, thinking over what he’d said before reluctantly nodding. “You’re not wrong,” he told him before continuing, “but you don’t know what happened.”
“So tell me…” Alex begged him. He wanted, no needed to understand something, anything about the last five years.
“It’s confidential…” He attempted to dodge the idea but Alex wasn’t going to be put off so easily.
Alex shook his head and gestured with his hands. “Who am I gonna tell?”
Will nodded in acceptance. “There were five of us. We just dropped out of the sky… it was recon and we definitely weren’t supposed to be there. Me and Harry were thrown from the wreckage, he was hurt bad but I only hand a broken arm and foot. I was running on adrenaline and I tried to get the others out but the flames were to hot and I just couldn’t do it. They were screaming for someone to save them… but there wasn’t anyone.”
He paused, leaning back onto the door. “Then they came, I couldn’t see properly but I could hear Harry shouting as they dragged him, they got me to and I was knocked out. The room was dark, there were no windows and the air was heavy and hot. We were kept together, we kept talking, mainly to see if the other was still there. They tell you everyone breaks under torture but I’d always thought I was strong… I was close. I would have given them anything to make them stop… but then it happened. Harry was sick, had been since the crash, they came for him anyway… on the last day I think he knew it was too late for him but we were being moved and it was our last chance, we knew we weren’t far from the border. We made a run for it… grabbed a gun and went for it… we didn’t make it far before Harry went down. He just stopped and lay on the ground and died… like a car with a dead battery.”
Alex took a deep breath, not believing what he was hearing. “Then what?”
“There was no rescue team so I knew I had to take the chance… I grabbed his dog tags and ran. I couldn’t let them win. All I could think about was mom and dad and how it was too soon for them to lose another son. I made it to the border by almost shear luck, I just went south and hoped for the best… I had a broken ankle and… I don’t know how I did it really. But at night I’m back there in the darkness… hearing the screams.” Alex felt his throat closing as he attempted to swallow. He didn’t want to know this, but at the same time he needed it more than anything. “No one will ever understand what that feels like.” The hallway was silent apart from them breathing as they just stared at each other for a moment.
“You’re right,” Alex said finally, letting the images wash over him. “But if you talked to Susie…”
Will interrupted him. "I have nightmares, Alex. Dreams that terrify me, and one day I'm afraid I'm gonna wake up and hurt her, and I never want to hurt her."
"You couldn't hurt her," Alex told him softly, but in reality he wasn’t sure. This Will wasn’t the person he remembered.
Will shook his head. "I could. I've killed people."
"That's different." Alex replied and in his mind it was.
"How? Because it was my job? It doesn't work like that. I've killed three people… face to face. I've told my pilots where to drop bombs… Do you wanna hear about the first one?" The look on his face was disconcerting.
Alex’s jaw stayed shut as he spoke. "No."
"I didn't think so... he was young. Probably around the same age as me. I didn't even think about it at the time. It was instinct. I just pulled the trigger and he fell down. He looked surprised. I've never forgotten his face.”
“Please,” Alex begged him.
Will shook his head stubbornly. “No.”
Alex took a step forward as he tried once again to convince his elder brother. “She loves you and you love her. She makes you happy.”
“Do you know how we met?” Will asked him, almost wistfully.
“She’s told me.” Alex replied simply, unsure of where Will was going with it. “A bar. You were making a fool of yourself. Doing something stupid.” Like he was now.
Will’s eyes seemed brighter as he spoke about her. “She’s so bright Alex. When she smiles I forget everything… But I’m not who she thinks I am… I try so hard to be who I was before but I’m not. I don’t want to jump on a pool table and do a striptease.”
“Talk to her,” Alex tried again.
“I can’t.” Will told him through gritted teeth, wanting Alex to understand but in some ways he didn’t even understand it himself. “I’m not you! Maybe I don’t want what you want.”
Alex flinched and took a step back. His breathing was labored and his whole body was tingling. "I looked up to you! I always did... you had everything, Will... everything."
Will shook his head running his hand thought his spiked up hair. "When are you gonna get it, Alex? I'm not perfect, not even close. Everyone has flaws... nobody's perfect."
Alex ignored his words and instead looked into his eyes. “You love her.”
Will shook his head. “I don’t want to hurt her but it’s not the same thing.”
“You love her.” Alex repeated, knowing he was right.
“Maybe… I don’t know. Maybe that’s the problem. But I’m going home.” Will stood firm, looking straight at Alex, waiting for him to try again.
“You are home.” Alex said quietly, that’s what he’d always thought. Roswell was their home, they might not have lived their all their lives but it was where his parent’s had finally settled. When Will had gone away before for the first time there was no older sibling to push him around. He’d been alone.
“This might be your home, but it’s not mine. This was just another stopgap for me. I’ve lived in Colorado five times longer than here,” Will reminded him.
Alex left his mouth drift open, trying to think of anything to stop him. But in that moment his mind went blank and he simply couldn’t. “Are you gonna even tell her?” He asked instead.
“I left a note.” Will said quickly.
Alex glared at him, not wanting to believe that after everything he was still going. “If you walk away from this, I will never forgive you.” Alex told him, his whole body shaking. “You might as well be dead to me.”
Will nodded in acceptance. Something that took Alex’s breath away, he accepted it out of hand, not even trying to argue. It hurt. “Take care of her,” he said simply, lifting up his bag.
Alex shook his head. “Don’t you dare…”
“See ya, little brother,” he added, emotion straining his voice.
There was nothing left to say.
Nothing to stop him.
As the door drifted closed Alex stood there, shaking his head, not wanting to believe, feeling the tears rolling down his cheeks, a feeling of loneliness running through him once again.
~*~*~*~
“Don’t you think he’ll just make the most handsome pageboy?” Isabel said, looking down at the magazine in her hand. The morning cups of coffee surrounded by bridal magazines.
Tess smiled. “He’s a cutie,” she agreed, turning the page of the photo album resting on her lap.
Isabel smiled wistfully at the wedding dress on the page in front of her. “I think this would look great on you.”
Tess glanced across at the page and shook her head. “It’s not me…” She looked down again, the page had turned and she swallowed hard at the picture in front of her.
Isabel noticed her silence and glanced over her shoulder. She felt the lump in her throat forming once again, the weight on her chest pressing down.
“I am sorry Isabel.” Tess told her, looking at the eight smiling people in front of her.
Isabel ignored her, instead she reached across for the folder. “I’ve spent so many hours looking at that picture. So many thoughts running through my mind, I begged so many gods to turn back time. I used to think that if I hadn’t pressed him into going with me… if I could just change that… everything would be okay. But at the time I thought… I thought that if I didn’t get him then… then I’d never, and we’d never.” She looked at Tess. “Isn’t that stupid?”
Tess shook her head. “It’s not. It’s really not. I think there are moments, and that if you don’t take those moments it’ll never happen. I think that’s what happened with me and Kyle. We had a moment… if we hadn’t had that moment. If Kyle hadn’t talked to me after the prom, I’m not sure we’d have ever been together. I don’t think I would’ve taken the chance without knowing that.”
Isabel nodded. “I wonder how different our lives would have been.”
Tess thought for a moment before shaking her head. “No…” She swallowed, touching her throat. “It’s not a good idea… I don’t think its good. I think it’s time we stopped looking into the past so much. I mean Alex too…”
Isabel nodded. “If I had everything to do over again. If I knew that I just had to wait a few years… the time’s gone so quickly. If I’d… if I hadn’t listened to them… I could’ve waited. It would’ve been worth it.” She looked at the smiling photo again… the people seemed to be mocking her.
“You didn’t know,” Tess told her. “No one did… we’ve been just waiting for the phone call so everyone could say goodbye. No one thought this would happen. Not even at their most optimistic did any of us think this could happen. Max couldn’t heal him,” she reminded her.
“I could have waited longer,” Isabel stated again.
“And now?” Tess asked. “Because… we all like Jesse, but if you don’t love him, you can’t stay with him.”
“That’s just it. I do love him. I didn’t at the start, but I can see a future for us. I can see us staying together.” Isabel flicked through, looking for the picture. “But he’s not Alex…” She stared down at her wedding photo, the smiling faces looking back at her.
“Do you love Alex?” Tess asked.
“I never stopped,” Isabel replied, her eyes flicking to her wedding ring. “I don’t think I ever will. I don’t think I’d ever want to.” She smiled sadly. “I think I’d be happy if I loved him till the end of time. It’s stupid, but it’s comforting. The only thing wrong with Jesse is simple.” She looked at her friend. “You probably think I’m silly… Alex and I were barely ever together… but what people don’t understand is that me going to him, me letting him in… that was everything. I gave everything to him that night. I didn’t even realize what I was doing, what I really felt about him until Jim arrived. When he told us there was an accident, I knew it was Alex and I knew it was my fault.”
“Oh Isabel it wasn’t your fault. It was an accident,” Tess reminded her quietly.
“Oh I know that but… in my mind it was just another person leaving me. Like my mother… even Max was distant.” She took a breath, pleased to finally be able to talk about it. “I knew I loved him then, as we all sat there in the hospital. When I finally got to see him he was so bruised and battered I hardly recognized him… that’s when I told him. I just whispered it into his ear, really softly.” She shrugged, lost in her memories. “I don’t know what I was expecting to happen. I think I thought he’d just wake up, like that would be enough to save him. It was stupid.” She wiped her eye with her hand. “I know exactly when I lost him, too. When I went to see them, when I begged her not to move him and told her all about the baby… I was getting through to them. Gloria was listening to me, I could see it in her eyes. Then she saw the ring and everything changed. That’s when he was gone. She looked at me and her face completely changed. First thing she asked was for a blood test but there was no way I could say yes to that. There was no way back from that. The decision was made.”
“I’m so sorry, Isabel. So sorry for everything.” Tess said again, her voice wavering slightly as she put a comforting hand of Isabel’s arm.
“It’s my own fault. I could have had everything I’d ever wanted. I could’ve waited,” she said, sure of herself.
“What are you gonna do?” Tess asked.
“I have no idea,” Isabel replied simply. “But I have to do something. We can’t go on like this; it’s not fair to anyone.” She looked away from her friend. “Jesse and Jake have been everything for me. My chance for a real family.” She looked back to Tess and ran her hand softly through her hair. Isabel swallowed, still fingering her hair as she stood and Tess watched her cautiously as she walked forward.
Standing in front of the mirror that occupied the wall above her fireplace, Isabel stared at herself.
Tess watched from the couch, a worried expression on her face as she watched her friend’s hair first lengthen and then change color before her eyes.
Soon long blonde locks replaced the short brown bob.
~*~*~*~
It was late afternoon when Alex opened the door to a woman who looked like she was going into battle.
“Will Whitman is an asshole.”
“Hey Susie,” Alex said, sighing as he opened the door to let her in.
“Did you know about this?” she asked, thrusting the crumpled piece of paper into his chest. When he didn’t immediately reply and instead avoided her eyes she stared up at him accusingly. “You did, didn’t you?”
Alex sighed again, keeping silent. That was all the answer she needed.
Susie shook her head. “Almost two years and he dumps me with a Dear John letter? He couldn’t even do it in person?” She rubbed her watering eyes.
Alex sighed once more before wrapping his arms around her, drawing her close. “He’s a jerk”
Susie sniffed into his shirt. “Damned right he is… a big fat jerk.”
Alex nodded, running his hand up her back soothingly. “I told him as much, but he’s never bothered listening to me anyway.”
“I thought we were in love, you know? That he was the one.” She let out a dark chuckle. “How stupid can you get?”
Alex sighed but didn’t reply straightaway. Instead when he did, he spoke softly into her ear. “You wanna go out for a drive and then go get smashed?”
Susie pulled back to look up at him, to see if he was actually serious. “Is that on your list?”
Alex grinned. “Actually, yes. Numero uno.”
Susie rolled her watery eyes. “I bet you’re such a cheap date.”
“We’ll see… is that a yes?”
She just stared at him for a beat, unable to stop the slight pang she felt when she noticed how similar his eyes were to Will’s. But then she shrugged. “Why not? Let’s go and drown our sorrows.”
~*~*~*~
Thanks for reading
Ethan
Nothing worth having comes without some kind of fight
You've gotta kick at the darkness 'til it bleeds daylight.
~ Barenaked Ladies - Lovers in a Dangerous Time
~*~*~*~
Part 22 – Something in a Shade of Gray
~*~*~*~
Will held his free hand against his jaw and rubbed it. He dropped his bag to the floor, letting it fall from his grip through the shock.
He didn’t look at his brother. Instead he glanced downwards and looked at the fallen backpack.
“You bastard,” Alex said, his tone menacing, not something usually associated with the youngest Whitman.
“Now we’ve been through this before… Mom and Dad are definitely married,” he tried, pushing against his jaw to check for loose teeth.
“Tell me I’ve made a mistake,” Alex implored him. Will’s non-reply was the answer he desperately didn’t want. “You could have everything I’ve ever wanted, and you’re just going to throw it all away because of what?”
Will stayed silent but for the first time looked at Alex.
“Why?”
“I’m not you,” Will replied simply.
Alex shook his head in disbelief. “You’re just leaving without a word… you’ve got no consideration for other people’s feelings!”
“You have no idea what you’re talking about. You don’t even know me,” Will shouted back. “What about you? Your accident.”
Alex felt himself growing more and more angry, a tingling sensation had started in his arm but he ignored it. “That’s all it was… I would never try to kill myself. You have to know that or you never knew me at all.”
“You don’t know me either. You come back into our lives after five years and you interfere with everything, you don’t know what’s happened. You don’t know who we are anymore. You call Nate and try to talk about Grace when you’ve got no right!”
“So tell me,” Alex said softly, almost begging.
“I’m not you, Alex,” Will repeated again.
“What does that mean?” Alex said, wanting to understand. “No one wants you to be me… just think about her. Don’t do this to her.”
Will shook his head. “I’m not Chris, I never wanted this… I wanted more… I wanted…”
“So why did you even bring her here? Why even bother when you knew mom was gonna…” Alex stopped suddenly as he finally understood. It clicked inside his head and he almost hated Will at that moment. “You ass. You bring them here to give you a way out, to give you an excuse to leave when there really isn’t one. You know mom will hate them and you get to stay as the good guy. But Susie’s different, mom likes her and she’s… more. So instead of doing something about it you’re running away. Just like everyone always does.”
Will was uncomfortable under Alex’s continued scrutiny. “It’s better this way.”
Alex dismissed his idea out of hand. “For you maybe but it’s not for her. She loves you Will, she’d do anything for you if you’d just give her a chance.”
“I don’t want that,” he continued to insist.
“Your wrong,” Alex told him with complete confidence. The tingling in his arm calming as he felt his confidence grow. “Your scared.”
“I’m not.”
“Your scared of everything.” Alex shook his head slightly and let a smile play on his lips as he tried to get through to his brother. “You’re scared of the truth, scared of Susie, of me. But most of all you’re scared of yourself.”
“Shut up,” Will told him, raising his voice for the first time.
“No you shut up… all my life I’ve looked up to you, I’ve listened to you, and now you’re going to listen to me. You and Mom, Dad, Nate… even Chris. You’ve controlled me, kept secrets from me, tried to protect me with lies and half truths but it’s my turn now and you are gonna listen to me if it’s the last words we ever say to each other.”
Will was shocked by Alex’s outburst, it was the shock more than anything that gave Alex time to continue.
“You can’t live your life afraid of things. I don’t like being in a car anymore, I don’t like the smell of it. Sometimes when I let myself remember I can feel the burning and smell the rubber… I can hear the tires squealing. You’re afraid of what happened to you… you’re afraid of how she makes you feel. It’s the same as me… Tell me honestly that I’m not right?”
Will paused, thinking over what he’d said before reluctantly nodding. “You’re not wrong,” he told him before continuing, “but you don’t know what happened.”
“So tell me…” Alex begged him. He wanted, no needed to understand something, anything about the last five years.
“It’s confidential…” He attempted to dodge the idea but Alex wasn’t going to be put off so easily.
Alex shook his head and gestured with his hands. “Who am I gonna tell?”
Will nodded in acceptance. “There were five of us. We just dropped out of the sky… it was recon and we definitely weren’t supposed to be there. Me and Harry were thrown from the wreckage, he was hurt bad but I only hand a broken arm and foot. I was running on adrenaline and I tried to get the others out but the flames were to hot and I just couldn’t do it. They were screaming for someone to save them… but there wasn’t anyone.”
He paused, leaning back onto the door. “Then they came, I couldn’t see properly but I could hear Harry shouting as they dragged him, they got me to and I was knocked out. The room was dark, there were no windows and the air was heavy and hot. We were kept together, we kept talking, mainly to see if the other was still there. They tell you everyone breaks under torture but I’d always thought I was strong… I was close. I would have given them anything to make them stop… but then it happened. Harry was sick, had been since the crash, they came for him anyway… on the last day I think he knew it was too late for him but we were being moved and it was our last chance, we knew we weren’t far from the border. We made a run for it… grabbed a gun and went for it… we didn’t make it far before Harry went down. He just stopped and lay on the ground and died… like a car with a dead battery.”
Alex took a deep breath, not believing what he was hearing. “Then what?”
“There was no rescue team so I knew I had to take the chance… I grabbed his dog tags and ran. I couldn’t let them win. All I could think about was mom and dad and how it was too soon for them to lose another son. I made it to the border by almost shear luck, I just went south and hoped for the best… I had a broken ankle and… I don’t know how I did it really. But at night I’m back there in the darkness… hearing the screams.” Alex felt his throat closing as he attempted to swallow. He didn’t want to know this, but at the same time he needed it more than anything. “No one will ever understand what that feels like.” The hallway was silent apart from them breathing as they just stared at each other for a moment.
“You’re right,” Alex said finally, letting the images wash over him. “But if you talked to Susie…”
Will interrupted him. "I have nightmares, Alex. Dreams that terrify me, and one day I'm afraid I'm gonna wake up and hurt her, and I never want to hurt her."
"You couldn't hurt her," Alex told him softly, but in reality he wasn’t sure. This Will wasn’t the person he remembered.
Will shook his head. "I could. I've killed people."
"That's different." Alex replied and in his mind it was.
"How? Because it was my job? It doesn't work like that. I've killed three people… face to face. I've told my pilots where to drop bombs… Do you wanna hear about the first one?" The look on his face was disconcerting.
Alex’s jaw stayed shut as he spoke. "No."
"I didn't think so... he was young. Probably around the same age as me. I didn't even think about it at the time. It was instinct. I just pulled the trigger and he fell down. He looked surprised. I've never forgotten his face.”
“Please,” Alex begged him.
Will shook his head stubbornly. “No.”
Alex took a step forward as he tried once again to convince his elder brother. “She loves you and you love her. She makes you happy.”
“Do you know how we met?” Will asked him, almost wistfully.
“She’s told me.” Alex replied simply, unsure of where Will was going with it. “A bar. You were making a fool of yourself. Doing something stupid.” Like he was now.
Will’s eyes seemed brighter as he spoke about her. “She’s so bright Alex. When she smiles I forget everything… But I’m not who she thinks I am… I try so hard to be who I was before but I’m not. I don’t want to jump on a pool table and do a striptease.”
“Talk to her,” Alex tried again.
“I can’t.” Will told him through gritted teeth, wanting Alex to understand but in some ways he didn’t even understand it himself. “I’m not you! Maybe I don’t want what you want.”
Alex flinched and took a step back. His breathing was labored and his whole body was tingling. "I looked up to you! I always did... you had everything, Will... everything."
Will shook his head running his hand thought his spiked up hair. "When are you gonna get it, Alex? I'm not perfect, not even close. Everyone has flaws... nobody's perfect."
Alex ignored his words and instead looked into his eyes. “You love her.”
Will shook his head. “I don’t want to hurt her but it’s not the same thing.”
“You love her.” Alex repeated, knowing he was right.
“Maybe… I don’t know. Maybe that’s the problem. But I’m going home.” Will stood firm, looking straight at Alex, waiting for him to try again.
“You are home.” Alex said quietly, that’s what he’d always thought. Roswell was their home, they might not have lived their all their lives but it was where his parent’s had finally settled. When Will had gone away before for the first time there was no older sibling to push him around. He’d been alone.
“This might be your home, but it’s not mine. This was just another stopgap for me. I’ve lived in Colorado five times longer than here,” Will reminded him.
Alex left his mouth drift open, trying to think of anything to stop him. But in that moment his mind went blank and he simply couldn’t. “Are you gonna even tell her?” He asked instead.
“I left a note.” Will said quickly.
Alex glared at him, not wanting to believe that after everything he was still going. “If you walk away from this, I will never forgive you.” Alex told him, his whole body shaking. “You might as well be dead to me.”
Will nodded in acceptance. Something that took Alex’s breath away, he accepted it out of hand, not even trying to argue. It hurt. “Take care of her,” he said simply, lifting up his bag.
Alex shook his head. “Don’t you dare…”
“See ya, little brother,” he added, emotion straining his voice.
There was nothing left to say.
Nothing to stop him.
As the door drifted closed Alex stood there, shaking his head, not wanting to believe, feeling the tears rolling down his cheeks, a feeling of loneliness running through him once again.
~*~*~*~
“Don’t you think he’ll just make the most handsome pageboy?” Isabel said, looking down at the magazine in her hand. The morning cups of coffee surrounded by bridal magazines.
Tess smiled. “He’s a cutie,” she agreed, turning the page of the photo album resting on her lap.
Isabel smiled wistfully at the wedding dress on the page in front of her. “I think this would look great on you.”
Tess glanced across at the page and shook her head. “It’s not me…” She looked down again, the page had turned and she swallowed hard at the picture in front of her.
Isabel noticed her silence and glanced over her shoulder. She felt the lump in her throat forming once again, the weight on her chest pressing down.
“I am sorry Isabel.” Tess told her, looking at the eight smiling people in front of her.
Isabel ignored her, instead she reached across for the folder. “I’ve spent so many hours looking at that picture. So many thoughts running through my mind, I begged so many gods to turn back time. I used to think that if I hadn’t pressed him into going with me… if I could just change that… everything would be okay. But at the time I thought… I thought that if I didn’t get him then… then I’d never, and we’d never.” She looked at Tess. “Isn’t that stupid?”
Tess shook her head. “It’s not. It’s really not. I think there are moments, and that if you don’t take those moments it’ll never happen. I think that’s what happened with me and Kyle. We had a moment… if we hadn’t had that moment. If Kyle hadn’t talked to me after the prom, I’m not sure we’d have ever been together. I don’t think I would’ve taken the chance without knowing that.”
Isabel nodded. “I wonder how different our lives would have been.”
Tess thought for a moment before shaking her head. “No…” She swallowed, touching her throat. “It’s not a good idea… I don’t think its good. I think it’s time we stopped looking into the past so much. I mean Alex too…”
Isabel nodded. “If I had everything to do over again. If I knew that I just had to wait a few years… the time’s gone so quickly. If I’d… if I hadn’t listened to them… I could’ve waited. It would’ve been worth it.” She looked at the smiling photo again… the people seemed to be mocking her.
“You didn’t know,” Tess told her. “No one did… we’ve been just waiting for the phone call so everyone could say goodbye. No one thought this would happen. Not even at their most optimistic did any of us think this could happen. Max couldn’t heal him,” she reminded her.
“I could have waited longer,” Isabel stated again.
“And now?” Tess asked. “Because… we all like Jesse, but if you don’t love him, you can’t stay with him.”
“That’s just it. I do love him. I didn’t at the start, but I can see a future for us. I can see us staying together.” Isabel flicked through, looking for the picture. “But he’s not Alex…” She stared down at her wedding photo, the smiling faces looking back at her.
“Do you love Alex?” Tess asked.
“I never stopped,” Isabel replied, her eyes flicking to her wedding ring. “I don’t think I ever will. I don’t think I’d ever want to.” She smiled sadly. “I think I’d be happy if I loved him till the end of time. It’s stupid, but it’s comforting. The only thing wrong with Jesse is simple.” She looked at her friend. “You probably think I’m silly… Alex and I were barely ever together… but what people don’t understand is that me going to him, me letting him in… that was everything. I gave everything to him that night. I didn’t even realize what I was doing, what I really felt about him until Jim arrived. When he told us there was an accident, I knew it was Alex and I knew it was my fault.”
“Oh Isabel it wasn’t your fault. It was an accident,” Tess reminded her quietly.
“Oh I know that but… in my mind it was just another person leaving me. Like my mother… even Max was distant.” She took a breath, pleased to finally be able to talk about it. “I knew I loved him then, as we all sat there in the hospital. When I finally got to see him he was so bruised and battered I hardly recognized him… that’s when I told him. I just whispered it into his ear, really softly.” She shrugged, lost in her memories. “I don’t know what I was expecting to happen. I think I thought he’d just wake up, like that would be enough to save him. It was stupid.” She wiped her eye with her hand. “I know exactly when I lost him, too. When I went to see them, when I begged her not to move him and told her all about the baby… I was getting through to them. Gloria was listening to me, I could see it in her eyes. Then she saw the ring and everything changed. That’s when he was gone. She looked at me and her face completely changed. First thing she asked was for a blood test but there was no way I could say yes to that. There was no way back from that. The decision was made.”
“I’m so sorry, Isabel. So sorry for everything.” Tess said again, her voice wavering slightly as she put a comforting hand of Isabel’s arm.
“It’s my own fault. I could have had everything I’d ever wanted. I could’ve waited,” she said, sure of herself.
“What are you gonna do?” Tess asked.
“I have no idea,” Isabel replied simply. “But I have to do something. We can’t go on like this; it’s not fair to anyone.” She looked away from her friend. “Jesse and Jake have been everything for me. My chance for a real family.” She looked back to Tess and ran her hand softly through her hair. Isabel swallowed, still fingering her hair as she stood and Tess watched her cautiously as she walked forward.
Standing in front of the mirror that occupied the wall above her fireplace, Isabel stared at herself.
Tess watched from the couch, a worried expression on her face as she watched her friend’s hair first lengthen and then change color before her eyes.
Soon long blonde locks replaced the short brown bob.
~*~*~*~
It was late afternoon when Alex opened the door to a woman who looked like she was going into battle.
“Will Whitman is an asshole.”
“Hey Susie,” Alex said, sighing as he opened the door to let her in.
“Did you know about this?” she asked, thrusting the crumpled piece of paper into his chest. When he didn’t immediately reply and instead avoided her eyes she stared up at him accusingly. “You did, didn’t you?”
Alex sighed again, keeping silent. That was all the answer she needed.
Susie shook her head. “Almost two years and he dumps me with a Dear John letter? He couldn’t even do it in person?” She rubbed her watering eyes.
Alex sighed once more before wrapping his arms around her, drawing her close. “He’s a jerk”
Susie sniffed into his shirt. “Damned right he is… a big fat jerk.”
Alex nodded, running his hand up her back soothingly. “I told him as much, but he’s never bothered listening to me anyway.”
“I thought we were in love, you know? That he was the one.” She let out a dark chuckle. “How stupid can you get?”
Alex sighed but didn’t reply straightaway. Instead when he did, he spoke softly into her ear. “You wanna go out for a drive and then go get smashed?”
Susie pulled back to look up at him, to see if he was actually serious. “Is that on your list?”
Alex grinned. “Actually, yes. Numero uno.”
Susie rolled her watery eyes. “I bet you’re such a cheap date.”
“We’ll see… is that a yes?”
She just stared at him for a beat, unable to stop the slight pang she felt when she noticed how similar his eyes were to Will’s. But then she shrugged. “Why not? Let’s go and drown our sorrows.”
~*~*~*~
Thanks for reading
Ethan
Part 23 – Little Too Deep
You'll sit alone forever
If you wait for the right time
What are you hoping for?
~ Jimmy Eat World - 23
~*~*~*~
Part 23 – Little Too Deep
~*~*~*~
Normal.
It was completely normal.
If you were in complete denial it was completely normal.
Jesse had decided weeks ago when he first felt the prelude to the coming apocalypse. The four horsemen, all of whom were called Alex Charles Whitman. That he was going to stay in complete denial.
Actually maybe he hadn’t actually decided that, he’d probably been in denial about having to decide whether to actually go into denial or not.
But that’s where he was now.
Denial.
And not the river in Egypt kind.
He had completely not noticed that his wife’s previous boyfriend was continually being mentioned.
He had also not noticed that his wife’s hair was now a completely different shade and length (he’d of course mentioned that he liked the change, because that was what husbands did if they actually wanted to stay married. It was like a code passed on the generation upon generation of men for survival).
He had not noticed that she’d been getting Jake to practice his guitar every day when he’d have much rather been outside practicing his ‘skills’ with the stupid round ball.
And he had most definitely not noticed that every time he was around she was smiling more. Laughing more. That her cheeks were rosy and even her hair seemed to shine more. The last one that he hadn’t noticed was probably directly related to the blonde rather than the him.
“I’m gonna invite Alex to dinner.” Isabel announced.
Jesse sighed before nodding. “Great idea.” He enthused. Badly. Isabel didn’t notice.
Everything was normal.
It was also very sunny in Egypt at this time of year.
~*~*~*~
Alex put his finger in his ear to block out the noise. “Sorry… I’m a little busy.” He tried to keep his voice as normal as possible, tried not to give away anything by slurring his words. His performance was honorable but not completely consistent. “I’m in a bar in Albuquerque… yeah I know it’s a trip but I’ve got Maria to pick us up soon… I’m with Suze… she’s a little…” He looked over at his table, grimacing as he saw her head was still face down on the surface. “… delicate… I’m a bit to… no I changed medication last week, these ones just make me drowsy.” Seeing that Susie was now moving slightly he knew he had to get there before she ran off. “I gotta go… I’ll come around another time.” He shut off his cell before waiting for a reply and quickly made his way back to their table. Sitting down he spoke loudly. “How’s my partner in crime?” She lifted her head unsteadily and Alex looked at her, concerned. He’d definitely seen her looking better. Her mascara was obviously not waterproof.
Susie pointed a finger at him as she spoke, her voice slightly raised. "Love. Its a simple 4 letter word." She showed him 4 fingers (well, actually showed 3, then counted them twice and then showed him 4). "You know what else is a simple 4 letter word? Hate." She swayed slightly in her seat. "But you know my favorite 4 letter word? Wine..." She poured herself and Alex another glass. "See... I don't need him. And you don’t need Isa... Isa... her either. We are gonna have a great time and they do not exist anymore. We are gonna do number 110. Both of us."
Alex nodded at her in sympathy, 110 was definitely something he could relate to. Although Susie would probably have to change the wording because to get over someone you had to be under them first. He tried desperately to stop his alcohol warped mined from going anywhere with that imagery.
Before he could go into complete fantasy mode he heard a sob from the other side of the table.
Susie burst into tears and dropped her head back to the table, sobbing hard.
"You wanna go home now?" He asked her, sympathy straining his voice.
"I want to kick his ass." She slammed her fist onto the table.
Alex stood up unsteadily, praying Maria would be there before his shirt was completely waterlogged. "Maybe tomorrow. Sleep first, ass kicking later."
~*~*~*~
She’d been restless all night.
Even before the phone call.
Jumpy was what Jesse would call it, but Jesse had been busy talking about a case and she’d been skittish.
She’d needed something so she’d called Alex… maybe just to hear his voice more than anything.
He’d been at a bar. At 7pm on a weekday.
That was not Alex.
So she slipped out of bed because it wasn’t fair to wake Jesse when all she needed was to call someone she never spoke to anymore.
She just need to check Alex was okay. That was what she told herself as she reached for the address book and called the unfamiliar number.
“Helloooo.” Was the answer she received from her former friend.
“It’s Isabel.” She said simply and waited for the venom to spring forth.
“What do you want?” There it was. She was far to used to it now but at least over the phone Maria couldn’t see the automatic flinch it always caused.
“Did you pick Alex up tonight?” She asked simply, you had to keep the questions short with her or she’d twist it.
“Why?” Was Maria’s short reply.
“I was just checking.” Isabel told her, biting her tongue.
Maria was silent for a moment and then Isabel noticed the change in her tone when she spoke again. “I did. They looked like they’d had fun. They were in the backseat together for the whole drive home…” Maria kept talking but Isabel moved the phone away from her ear and held it in front of her.
She was barely breathing as she hung up the phone and automatically moved to Jake’s room. She watched, completely still as he slept quietly, not knowing the problems he was at the centre of.
She closed the door and moved quickly, trying to ignoring the increase in her heartbeat.
Getting back into bed, quietly she kissed Jesse’s cheek before moving back to her side, gripping her pillow tightly.
She didn’t notice Jesse’s eyes were already open and his body tense.
Her mind was somewhere else. With someone else.
~*~*~*~
"So this friend of mine, this guy… he’s seeing this girl."
"Okay." Kyle nodded, beer in one hand, chips in another.
"And she... lives away."
“Okay.”
“So… when she comes back she… and he… they…”
"I get it." Kyle interrupted.
"And then thats that, he barely hears from her again, until the next time."
"Michael..."
"Just an honest opinion."
"Well... honestly... is he happy?"
"Not really."
"Does she love him?"
He shrugged. "I don't know, she used to but things have changed. She's changed. But he doesn't want to lose her."
"Does he love her?"
He thought for a moment. "Not like he used to, but yeah, he still loves her."
"I'm not exactly the guy to turn to for advice but... it doesn't sound like much of a relationship."
Michael eyed Kyle’s beer before going back to his coke. "Give it up?"
“Yes… because you deserve better. You and Maria.”
“And to think I thought I was being covert.” He spoke harshly.
Kyle gave a slightly laugh. “Well… I think it was the friend part that let you down. Considering your choices are Max and Alex. Alex hasn’t really had time to form a relationship filled with sexcapades and Max and Liz have been annoying us since High School with the sugar.”
Michael nodded. “I don’t do the feelings thing.”
Kyle nodded in reply. “Neither did I.” He paused to take a sip before continuing. “But 5 years ago I took a chance with Tess. I laid it all out there and it got me her. Maybe it’ll be the same for you and Maria.”
Michael stayed silent. Drinking. Considering.
~*~*~*~
“Oh you didn’t…” Liz closed her eyes in disbelief.
Maria smirked. “I may have possibly mentioned that they looked cosy.” She raised her eyebrows and looked entirely to pleased with herself.
“Oh Maria…” Liz sighed, sounding very much like her mother.
Maria rolled her eyes. “Oh Maria what? She’s the one that’s married. Not him. If he wants to play the field then that’s his choice, it’s got nothing to do with her.”
Liz shook her head. “Play the field? Have you even met Alex?”
“He might be the play the field kinda guy now. He’s older.”
“By like a month!” Liz exclaimed, letting out a ragged chuckle.
Maria’s expression became stony and in for a moment Liz didn’t even recognise the Maria she thought she knew so well. “She deserved it.”
Liz shook her head. “That’s just brilliant… we’ve just got everyone back together for the first time in however many years and you have to ruin it all…”
“Me? She’s the one that got married. She’s the one that abandoned him!”
“He was practically dead!” Liz insisted.
Maria pointed at Liz. “Yes… and practically is the word you should pay attention to in that statement.”
“They turned off his life support!” Liz reminded her.
“And he kept breathing? What does that tell you?”
“Medically speaking he was…”
Maria interrupted. “He was brain dead. Yes I do remember the conversation Liz. But he was still living and breathing and what Isabel did was wrong.”
“If it was Michael…” Liz started.
But Maria interrupted, facing Liz, as she grew angrier at the lack of support. “Don’t even start on me and Michael. What about Max huh? Would you have done that if it had been Max?”
“Probably not.” Liz admitted reluctantly.
“Exactly.” Maria replied, looking smug.
“But I’m not Isabel.”
“I know. You’ve got a soul.” Maria told her, an edge to her voice.
“Maria…” Liz tried again, sighing as she said the name.
Maria kept her smug grin. “She’ll get whatever she deserves.”
Liz looked at her best friend. “Sometimes I really don’t know you anymore.”
“I feel the same about you. I guess distance is more important that we thought huh?” Maria told her, the grin gone. She stared at Liz, looking for understanding. She found nothing but grim acceptance.
Liz nodded. “Yeah. I guess you’re right.”
~*~*~*~
It actually took his a moment to realise it was her.
She was a blonde again and for that moment he actually hadn’t recognised her. Which was weird because Alex would have thought that he’d think of her more as a blonde than a brunette. Maybe this was what you’d call progress. If you didn’t have a headache and the bright blonde wasn’t detrimental to any kind of recovery from that condition.
“Is she here?” Isabel asked, well demanded really. Alex raised his left eyebrow at her tone of voice.
“Who?” He asked her, honestly unaware of who she was referring to.
“Susan.” She replied simply.
Alex’s immediate reaction through his foggy mind was again. “Who?”
“Susie, the amazing Susie.” Isabel said spitefully.
Again Alex felt his eyebrow rise in surprise. “Nope…” He told her carefully.
Isabel seemed pleased and breathed deeply before him. “Good, this’ll be easier then.” She said mostly to herself. Alex just looked at her, confused. He didn’t know if it was her that made no sense or if he was missing something due to the ongoing drum that was beating inside his skull.
Alex shook his head to relieve the cobwebs. “What?”
Isabel set her face in a way that looked extremely like his own mother about to give a lecture. The comparison was simply freaky. “She’s a reporter Alex, obviously trying to get some kind of story out of this. Some kind of tabloid trash. Maybe she’s been investigating us for years and wants to expose us.” Isabel babbled, her eyes glazed over.
Alex’s mouth hung open. The pain in his head suddenly forgotten. “What?”
“She works for a newspaper Alex…” She stated, as if that explained everything. “And yet she’s been here, just hanging around for weeks… can’t you see, she must be on some kind of trail…”
Alex shook his head again. “Because there’s no other reason for her to stay here?” He asked her incredulously.
Isabel was momentarily flummoxed. “Well… well your brothers gone now. Why’s she still here?”
Alex chuckled in disbelief. “Because she’s my friend.” He said simply. “Because my brother only left two days ago.” He continued. “Because for some unknown reason the poor woman likes it here.” Alex stood, his fists clenched together as the low din in his head started to get louder. “Did you even look? Did you even bother to find out anything about her?”
“Well…” Isabel trailed off before shaking her head, answering him with a no. She looked embarrassed, as if she was only now hearing herself.
Alex began to pace. “She works for a newspaper. Yes. She’s apparently… well she says that she writes like a bitch. She’s a very harsh person.” He looked Isabel straight in the face. “She’s a food critic.” He kept staring at her. “She’s also the only person I can talk to.” He gritted his teeth. “Not everything’s about you Isabel. Not everythings about little green men.”
“I was just trying to protect you.” Isabel said, she looked almost distraught as he continued to speak.
“I don’t need protection. I need people to listen to me. She does that.” He took a deep breath. “Your not looking out for me, you‘re trying to control me.” His hands started to shake. “I’ve got a headache Isabel, I’ve got what’s usually called a hang over. I don’t need you coming in here like you own the place, like you own me. You don’t have the right to do that!”
Isabel frowned at him, not rectifying the Alex she knew with the one in front of her now. "You used to drink orange soda." She said quietly.
"I also used to follow you around like a puppy... see how things have changed?" He told her spitefully, he felt a strange sense of enjoyment when she flinched. He actually happy that he could affect the Ice Queen that way.
Isabel steadied her jaw and ignored the pain emanating from her chest. “I get a feeling when I’m around her Alex. Your always with her.”
Alex ignored the slight guilt and let himself feed on the power he had over her at that moment. “So do I… do you know what I feel? I feel happy. Do you know what else? My brother’s been an idiot. It happens quite often but… but this time he’s hurt more than himself and Susie’s been there for me. She’s sat with me, she’s watched movies with me, she listened to me, so I’m gonna do the same for her. She’s my friend.” He let the emotion of that word wash over him.
“I’m your friend to.” Isabel told him quietly.
Alex shook his head. “We were never friends Isabel. So I don’t see how we could be friends now.”
Isabel pulled herself together before his eyes and he watched the stubborn girl he used to know emerge from the woman before him. “I know I’m right…” She told him firmly as she walked away from him. He followed her into the hall. “I don’t know what’s wrong with you… but I don’t like it… you can call me later to apologise.”
He grabbed her arm and pulled her back towards him. She was so close that he could smell her shampoo. He closed his eyes breathed before speaking, his voice harsh. He didn’t want to look at her as he finally lost his temper. "You could have waited longer, perhaps you should have waited longer. But you didn't and there's nothing you can do about that. There's nothing I can do about that." Alex felt the pain spreading through him, the tingling sensation was building within him, the dull ache was spreading and he felt his control slipping by the second. He opened his eyes and looked into her wide ones. Blue and scared. "You have no idea what it's like for me to watch you with him." Alex the tension in his hands increasing, he let her go, moving quickly away from her, like she was the flame and he was the moth who’d just been singed. “To watch this kid and not even know him. Just… get out Isabel before I do something I’ll really regret.” He heard her breathing but didn’t look at her, he couldn’t look at her anymore.
As Isabel left Alex could feel the anger and frustration overcome him again.
How could she act like that? So self-righteous. She had no idea that Susie was the only thing that kept him from falling apart.
How could she make him so mad? So angry. Angry with her, with the world.
With himself.
Grabbing something, anything, the first thing his could get his hand on he threw it as hard as he could. His mother’s ornament rushed out of his hand and hung in midair, less than a meter from his outstretched hand.
Alex’s eyes widened, his heart practically stopped and his breath stayed motionless in his lungs.
But the most shocking this wasn’t the hovering ornament but what was surrounding it, what was holding it in place.
A field of white.
Alex moved slightly forward and touched it with his left hand.
It rippled slightly but stayed in place.
He looked at his right hand, still open from the throw.
If it were possible his eyes would have widened even further. He closed his hand, making a fist and stared at it.
Time slowed down as his mothers ornament smashed onto the carpet of the entrance hall.
Alex didn’t move, instead he stared at his hand as realization dawned.
Finally he spoke to the empty house.
“That is so cool.”
~*~*~*~
Thanks for reading.
Ethan
If you wait for the right time
What are you hoping for?
~ Jimmy Eat World - 23
~*~*~*~
Part 23 – Little Too Deep
~*~*~*~
Normal.
It was completely normal.
If you were in complete denial it was completely normal.
Jesse had decided weeks ago when he first felt the prelude to the coming apocalypse. The four horsemen, all of whom were called Alex Charles Whitman. That he was going to stay in complete denial.
Actually maybe he hadn’t actually decided that, he’d probably been in denial about having to decide whether to actually go into denial or not.
But that’s where he was now.
Denial.
And not the river in Egypt kind.
He had completely not noticed that his wife’s previous boyfriend was continually being mentioned.
He had also not noticed that his wife’s hair was now a completely different shade and length (he’d of course mentioned that he liked the change, because that was what husbands did if they actually wanted to stay married. It was like a code passed on the generation upon generation of men for survival).
He had not noticed that she’d been getting Jake to practice his guitar every day when he’d have much rather been outside practicing his ‘skills’ with the stupid round ball.
And he had most definitely not noticed that every time he was around she was smiling more. Laughing more. That her cheeks were rosy and even her hair seemed to shine more. The last one that he hadn’t noticed was probably directly related to the blonde rather than the him.
“I’m gonna invite Alex to dinner.” Isabel announced.
Jesse sighed before nodding. “Great idea.” He enthused. Badly. Isabel didn’t notice.
Everything was normal.
It was also very sunny in Egypt at this time of year.
~*~*~*~
Alex put his finger in his ear to block out the noise. “Sorry… I’m a little busy.” He tried to keep his voice as normal as possible, tried not to give away anything by slurring his words. His performance was honorable but not completely consistent. “I’m in a bar in Albuquerque… yeah I know it’s a trip but I’ve got Maria to pick us up soon… I’m with Suze… she’s a little…” He looked over at his table, grimacing as he saw her head was still face down on the surface. “… delicate… I’m a bit to… no I changed medication last week, these ones just make me drowsy.” Seeing that Susie was now moving slightly he knew he had to get there before she ran off. “I gotta go… I’ll come around another time.” He shut off his cell before waiting for a reply and quickly made his way back to their table. Sitting down he spoke loudly. “How’s my partner in crime?” She lifted her head unsteadily and Alex looked at her, concerned. He’d definitely seen her looking better. Her mascara was obviously not waterproof.
Susie pointed a finger at him as she spoke, her voice slightly raised. "Love. Its a simple 4 letter word." She showed him 4 fingers (well, actually showed 3, then counted them twice and then showed him 4). "You know what else is a simple 4 letter word? Hate." She swayed slightly in her seat. "But you know my favorite 4 letter word? Wine..." She poured herself and Alex another glass. "See... I don't need him. And you don’t need Isa... Isa... her either. We are gonna have a great time and they do not exist anymore. We are gonna do number 110. Both of us."
Alex nodded at her in sympathy, 110 was definitely something he could relate to. Although Susie would probably have to change the wording because to get over someone you had to be under them first. He tried desperately to stop his alcohol warped mined from going anywhere with that imagery.
Before he could go into complete fantasy mode he heard a sob from the other side of the table.
Susie burst into tears and dropped her head back to the table, sobbing hard.
"You wanna go home now?" He asked her, sympathy straining his voice.
"I want to kick his ass." She slammed her fist onto the table.
Alex stood up unsteadily, praying Maria would be there before his shirt was completely waterlogged. "Maybe tomorrow. Sleep first, ass kicking later."
~*~*~*~
She’d been restless all night.
Even before the phone call.
Jumpy was what Jesse would call it, but Jesse had been busy talking about a case and she’d been skittish.
She’d needed something so she’d called Alex… maybe just to hear his voice more than anything.
He’d been at a bar. At 7pm on a weekday.
That was not Alex.
So she slipped out of bed because it wasn’t fair to wake Jesse when all she needed was to call someone she never spoke to anymore.
She just need to check Alex was okay. That was what she told herself as she reached for the address book and called the unfamiliar number.
“Helloooo.” Was the answer she received from her former friend.
“It’s Isabel.” She said simply and waited for the venom to spring forth.
“What do you want?” There it was. She was far to used to it now but at least over the phone Maria couldn’t see the automatic flinch it always caused.
“Did you pick Alex up tonight?” She asked simply, you had to keep the questions short with her or she’d twist it.
“Why?” Was Maria’s short reply.
“I was just checking.” Isabel told her, biting her tongue.
Maria was silent for a moment and then Isabel noticed the change in her tone when she spoke again. “I did. They looked like they’d had fun. They were in the backseat together for the whole drive home…” Maria kept talking but Isabel moved the phone away from her ear and held it in front of her.
She was barely breathing as she hung up the phone and automatically moved to Jake’s room. She watched, completely still as he slept quietly, not knowing the problems he was at the centre of.
She closed the door and moved quickly, trying to ignoring the increase in her heartbeat.
Getting back into bed, quietly she kissed Jesse’s cheek before moving back to her side, gripping her pillow tightly.
She didn’t notice Jesse’s eyes were already open and his body tense.
Her mind was somewhere else. With someone else.
~*~*~*~
"So this friend of mine, this guy… he’s seeing this girl."
"Okay." Kyle nodded, beer in one hand, chips in another.
"And she... lives away."
“Okay.”
“So… when she comes back she… and he… they…”
"I get it." Kyle interrupted.
"And then thats that, he barely hears from her again, until the next time."
"Michael..."
"Just an honest opinion."
"Well... honestly... is he happy?"
"Not really."
"Does she love him?"
He shrugged. "I don't know, she used to but things have changed. She's changed. But he doesn't want to lose her."
"Does he love her?"
He thought for a moment. "Not like he used to, but yeah, he still loves her."
"I'm not exactly the guy to turn to for advice but... it doesn't sound like much of a relationship."
Michael eyed Kyle’s beer before going back to his coke. "Give it up?"
“Yes… because you deserve better. You and Maria.”
“And to think I thought I was being covert.” He spoke harshly.
Kyle gave a slightly laugh. “Well… I think it was the friend part that let you down. Considering your choices are Max and Alex. Alex hasn’t really had time to form a relationship filled with sexcapades and Max and Liz have been annoying us since High School with the sugar.”
Michael nodded. “I don’t do the feelings thing.”
Kyle nodded in reply. “Neither did I.” He paused to take a sip before continuing. “But 5 years ago I took a chance with Tess. I laid it all out there and it got me her. Maybe it’ll be the same for you and Maria.”
Michael stayed silent. Drinking. Considering.
~*~*~*~
“Oh you didn’t…” Liz closed her eyes in disbelief.
Maria smirked. “I may have possibly mentioned that they looked cosy.” She raised her eyebrows and looked entirely to pleased with herself.
“Oh Maria…” Liz sighed, sounding very much like her mother.
Maria rolled her eyes. “Oh Maria what? She’s the one that’s married. Not him. If he wants to play the field then that’s his choice, it’s got nothing to do with her.”
Liz shook her head. “Play the field? Have you even met Alex?”
“He might be the play the field kinda guy now. He’s older.”
“By like a month!” Liz exclaimed, letting out a ragged chuckle.
Maria’s expression became stony and in for a moment Liz didn’t even recognise the Maria she thought she knew so well. “She deserved it.”
Liz shook her head. “That’s just brilliant… we’ve just got everyone back together for the first time in however many years and you have to ruin it all…”
“Me? She’s the one that got married. She’s the one that abandoned him!”
“He was practically dead!” Liz insisted.
Maria pointed at Liz. “Yes… and practically is the word you should pay attention to in that statement.”
“They turned off his life support!” Liz reminded her.
“And he kept breathing? What does that tell you?”
“Medically speaking he was…”
Maria interrupted. “He was brain dead. Yes I do remember the conversation Liz. But he was still living and breathing and what Isabel did was wrong.”
“If it was Michael…” Liz started.
But Maria interrupted, facing Liz, as she grew angrier at the lack of support. “Don’t even start on me and Michael. What about Max huh? Would you have done that if it had been Max?”
“Probably not.” Liz admitted reluctantly.
“Exactly.” Maria replied, looking smug.
“But I’m not Isabel.”
“I know. You’ve got a soul.” Maria told her, an edge to her voice.
“Maria…” Liz tried again, sighing as she said the name.
Maria kept her smug grin. “She’ll get whatever she deserves.”
Liz looked at her best friend. “Sometimes I really don’t know you anymore.”
“I feel the same about you. I guess distance is more important that we thought huh?” Maria told her, the grin gone. She stared at Liz, looking for understanding. She found nothing but grim acceptance.
Liz nodded. “Yeah. I guess you’re right.”
~*~*~*~
It actually took his a moment to realise it was her.
She was a blonde again and for that moment he actually hadn’t recognised her. Which was weird because Alex would have thought that he’d think of her more as a blonde than a brunette. Maybe this was what you’d call progress. If you didn’t have a headache and the bright blonde wasn’t detrimental to any kind of recovery from that condition.
“Is she here?” Isabel asked, well demanded really. Alex raised his left eyebrow at her tone of voice.
“Who?” He asked her, honestly unaware of who she was referring to.
“Susan.” She replied simply.
Alex’s immediate reaction through his foggy mind was again. “Who?”
“Susie, the amazing Susie.” Isabel said spitefully.
Again Alex felt his eyebrow rise in surprise. “Nope…” He told her carefully.
Isabel seemed pleased and breathed deeply before him. “Good, this’ll be easier then.” She said mostly to herself. Alex just looked at her, confused. He didn’t know if it was her that made no sense or if he was missing something due to the ongoing drum that was beating inside his skull.
Alex shook his head to relieve the cobwebs. “What?”
Isabel set her face in a way that looked extremely like his own mother about to give a lecture. The comparison was simply freaky. “She’s a reporter Alex, obviously trying to get some kind of story out of this. Some kind of tabloid trash. Maybe she’s been investigating us for years and wants to expose us.” Isabel babbled, her eyes glazed over.
Alex’s mouth hung open. The pain in his head suddenly forgotten. “What?”
“She works for a newspaper Alex…” She stated, as if that explained everything. “And yet she’s been here, just hanging around for weeks… can’t you see, she must be on some kind of trail…”
Alex shook his head again. “Because there’s no other reason for her to stay here?” He asked her incredulously.
Isabel was momentarily flummoxed. “Well… well your brothers gone now. Why’s she still here?”
Alex chuckled in disbelief. “Because she’s my friend.” He said simply. “Because my brother only left two days ago.” He continued. “Because for some unknown reason the poor woman likes it here.” Alex stood, his fists clenched together as the low din in his head started to get louder. “Did you even look? Did you even bother to find out anything about her?”
“Well…” Isabel trailed off before shaking her head, answering him with a no. She looked embarrassed, as if she was only now hearing herself.
Alex began to pace. “She works for a newspaper. Yes. She’s apparently… well she says that she writes like a bitch. She’s a very harsh person.” He looked Isabel straight in the face. “She’s a food critic.” He kept staring at her. “She’s also the only person I can talk to.” He gritted his teeth. “Not everything’s about you Isabel. Not everythings about little green men.”
“I was just trying to protect you.” Isabel said, she looked almost distraught as he continued to speak.
“I don’t need protection. I need people to listen to me. She does that.” He took a deep breath. “Your not looking out for me, you‘re trying to control me.” His hands started to shake. “I’ve got a headache Isabel, I’ve got what’s usually called a hang over. I don’t need you coming in here like you own the place, like you own me. You don’t have the right to do that!”
Isabel frowned at him, not rectifying the Alex she knew with the one in front of her now. "You used to drink orange soda." She said quietly.
"I also used to follow you around like a puppy... see how things have changed?" He told her spitefully, he felt a strange sense of enjoyment when she flinched. He actually happy that he could affect the Ice Queen that way.
Isabel steadied her jaw and ignored the pain emanating from her chest. “I get a feeling when I’m around her Alex. Your always with her.”
Alex ignored the slight guilt and let himself feed on the power he had over her at that moment. “So do I… do you know what I feel? I feel happy. Do you know what else? My brother’s been an idiot. It happens quite often but… but this time he’s hurt more than himself and Susie’s been there for me. She’s sat with me, she’s watched movies with me, she listened to me, so I’m gonna do the same for her. She’s my friend.” He let the emotion of that word wash over him.
“I’m your friend to.” Isabel told him quietly.
Alex shook his head. “We were never friends Isabel. So I don’t see how we could be friends now.”
Isabel pulled herself together before his eyes and he watched the stubborn girl he used to know emerge from the woman before him. “I know I’m right…” She told him firmly as she walked away from him. He followed her into the hall. “I don’t know what’s wrong with you… but I don’t like it… you can call me later to apologise.”
He grabbed her arm and pulled her back towards him. She was so close that he could smell her shampoo. He closed his eyes breathed before speaking, his voice harsh. He didn’t want to look at her as he finally lost his temper. "You could have waited longer, perhaps you should have waited longer. But you didn't and there's nothing you can do about that. There's nothing I can do about that." Alex felt the pain spreading through him, the tingling sensation was building within him, the dull ache was spreading and he felt his control slipping by the second. He opened his eyes and looked into her wide ones. Blue and scared. "You have no idea what it's like for me to watch you with him." Alex the tension in his hands increasing, he let her go, moving quickly away from her, like she was the flame and he was the moth who’d just been singed. “To watch this kid and not even know him. Just… get out Isabel before I do something I’ll really regret.” He heard her breathing but didn’t look at her, he couldn’t look at her anymore.
As Isabel left Alex could feel the anger and frustration overcome him again.
How could she act like that? So self-righteous. She had no idea that Susie was the only thing that kept him from falling apart.
How could she make him so mad? So angry. Angry with her, with the world.
With himself.
Grabbing something, anything, the first thing his could get his hand on he threw it as hard as he could. His mother’s ornament rushed out of his hand and hung in midair, less than a meter from his outstretched hand.
Alex’s eyes widened, his heart practically stopped and his breath stayed motionless in his lungs.
But the most shocking this wasn’t the hovering ornament but what was surrounding it, what was holding it in place.
A field of white.
Alex moved slightly forward and touched it with his left hand.
It rippled slightly but stayed in place.
He looked at his right hand, still open from the throw.
If it were possible his eyes would have widened even further. He closed his hand, making a fist and stared at it.
Time slowed down as his mothers ornament smashed onto the carpet of the entrance hall.
Alex didn’t move, instead he stared at his hand as realization dawned.
Finally he spoke to the empty house.
“That is so cool.”
~*~*~*~
Thanks for reading.
Ethan
Last edited by Quint on Sun Oct 01, 2006 8:29 am, edited 1 time in total.
Part 24 - Remains of the Day
The friendship that can cease has never been real.
~ Saint Jerome
~*~*~*~
Part 24 – Remains of the Day
~*~*~*~
“Okay, you can do this. Come on, Super Alex. You can do this.” But nothing happened. There was no weird white force field coming from him. He was beginning to think he’d imagined the whole thing.
He grabbed the glass from the table, drinking the water inside as he contemplated calling someone about his apparent ‘change’.
It wasn’t that he didn’t trust them. It was more that… well he simply didn’t want the hassle.
He was standing when the knock at the kitchen window caught him off guard. The glass slipped from his hand.
Susie waved at him, her smile infectious. He waved back, gesturing to the back door. She nodded, moving towards it.
Alex could barely breathe as he glanced downwards, the glass mere centimeters from the floor. Held in place by the white shield. He closed his hand and the shield disappeared, the glass dropping onto the floor as Susie entered, already in full flow.
“I’ve come to the realization that all men suck.” She glanced quickly at Alex. “Present company excluded, of course.”
“Thanks.” Alex whispered, still distracted by the glass. Susie followed his gaze before kneeling down to pick it up.
“I’ll wash up, you get packing,” she told him simply, moving towards the sink.
“Am I going somewhere?” Alex asked, snapping out of his stupor.
Susie nodded. “111. Road trip.”
“Why?” he asked slowly.
“Don’t you think it’s about time we got started on your list?” She looked up at him. “We can drive down route 66… I’m not saying do the lot because that would be stupid. But 2 or 39 or 67? Actually all of them…” She smiled up at him. “I just need to get away for awhile… and you probably do, too.”
Alex looked down at her, taking a surreptitious glance at both the glass and his hand. “Okay… but not Vegas, been there, done that, I’ve literally got a crappy T-shirt.”
Susie flashed a mega-watt grin at him. “Atlantic City it is, then.”
Alex grinned back. It would be good to get away for a while. Anything to distract him from the continued weirdness of his annoying life.
~*~*~*~
“Look at him… so cute…” She pursed her lips talking ‘baby’ for the last bit, looking fondly at the photo before her.
“Getting broody, pumpkin?”
Tess looked at him, unimpressed. “Pumpkins are big fat orange things. You may want to rethink that term before I warp you into thinking you’re one.”
Kyle looked slightly scared. “How about snookems,” he tried, moving up behind her to slip his hands around her waist as he glanced down at the baby picture.
“Better but not perfect. When we’re married we’ll need proper married people nicknames.”
“Like ball and chain?” Kyle joked.
“Not exactly,” Tess admitted, biting her lip before continuing. “You know Aiden’s only a few months younger than Jake… they grow up so fast.”
“You are getting broody,” Kyle enthused, grinning with excitement.
“I just might want some of those in the future. Especially if they’re as great as Aiden and Ryan.”
“You’re biased.”
Tess blushed. “Maybe…” She twisted in his arms. “I want to get married really soon,Kyle.”
The toothy grin stayed on Kyle’s face. “What’s brought this on?”
Her face changed for a split second before she replied. “Alex is back… I think it would be nice.”
“Okay,” Kyle nodded. “Whenever you want. You just tell me where to turn up and I’ll be there.”
“Why didn’t we do this years ago?”
“I almost did.”
Tess felt her smile widen. “Really? When?”
Kyle lifted up her left hand. “Do you know when I got this thing?” Tess shook her head. “18th of October 2003.” Kyle smiled at her shock. “We lost to New Mexico 30-7. That was when I knew I was never going to make it. I mean I couldn’t even get in the team.” His face reddened. “I bet against us, I wasn’t playing so I didn’t think it mattered. We lost, I won and so I bought this thing. The next week I was looking at physiotherapy.”
“Why did you wait so long?”
Kyle shrugged. “We couldn’t get married then. But I wanted it there when the time was right. That’s now.”
Tess closed her eyes and held him tightly to her. “I love you.”
~*~*~*~
“I come bearing gifts…” Max announced as he strolled through the office doors, lunches in his hands.
He was greeted by the smiling face of Pam Troy and a tired looking Jesse Ramirez.
He dropped the box onto the nearest desk and moved towards them, wondering what had Jesse so interested.
Jesse was concentrating on the book in front of him, staring at it in wonder. He hadn’t even noticed Max’s presence as he looked at Pam in disbelief. “How did you even know about this case? I’ve never even heard of it… I don’t think Diane has either.”
“I was reading a law review a few months ago and I got interested in that section… I mean criminal law can be a very gray area at times and I was just interested…” She trailed off at the look on his face. “What?”
“How do you remember these things?”
“It’s all about training your mind.” She shrugged at him and then looked again to Max. “I have a book… I’ll go get it.”
Jesse shook his head and looked up at Max. “Hey… she just remembered a case that she read about when she started pre-law that could win us one of the most important cases this firm has ever been involved in. She remembered almost every detail.”
Max nodded his head, not really understanding the importance of the development, or really caring either. He barely understood what his parents covered, never mind what how to research a case study.
“She’s probably going to be the best lawyer I’ve ever met.”
“I don’t think I’ll tell Liz you said that.”
“She does have one problem, though… she wouldn’t know tact if it fell on her head like a piano.”
Max smiled, unsurprised. “Yeah?”
Jesse nodded, smiling back. “Yesterday she told Harry Caldwell that she hoped he and his new wife would be very happy together and he was with his granddaughter. Last week she told Kyung that she thought Bejing was the most beautiful city and he’s Korean.” He chuckled in amusement. “And before that she spent almost twenty minutes talking about the wonders of her fiancé to the soon to be ex Mrs. Evershed.”
Max allowed himself to laugh with Jesse at that. “Does she have any idea?”
“I don’t know… but she probably does Yoga or something..."
Max shook his head, not getting Jesse’s point. "Huh?"
Jesse grinned even more at Max. "Well she's gotta be supple... she spends most of the day with her foot in her mouth..."
~*~*~*~
Alex held the cell phone to his ear as he threw a change of clothes into a bag. He didn’t have much of a choice, it was amazing how much your body changed when you did nothing for five years and then worked out for a month.
Michael’s tone was, strange, maybe he was smiling or something as he replied. “So are you gonna get lucky in Atlantic City?”
Alex rolled his eyes. “Number one, we’re just friends. Number two, she’s ridiculously in love with my stupid idiot of a brother. Number three, it’s me… I’m the friend that everyone assumes is gay, not the friend you get jiggy with after a few Tequilas. Number four… it’s me, last time I actually managed to get lucky I got unlucky five hours later when I made friends with a truck.” Alex breathed through his teeth. “I had an argument with Isabel. I’m sorry.”
Michael didn’t reply directly. “Why did you call me?”
“Because yours was the only number I could remember?” Michael stayed silent on the other end of the phone. “I can’t call Liz because it would get back to Maria. I can’t call Maria because Maria hates Isabel. I can’t call Isabel because it’s weird and also because I just shouted at her. Kyle’s at work and I don’t really speak to Tess when we’re not with other people. Not that I don’t like her or anything we just never really seemed to be together…” Alex shut his mouth quickly. “I’m babbling.”
“Yes,” was Michael’s short reply.
“I don’t babble like I used to… I kinda miss it. Me and Maria used to have comp…”
“Alex!” Michael interrupted.
Alex changed sentence quickly. “Speaking of Maria, I need you to tell her not to be such a bitch to Isabel because then they’ll go off on one another and we’ll have some kind of cat fight. Not the fun kind either because I don’t think the girls would actually find any large quantities of mud…”
“Maria and I aren’t on the best terms right now.”
“You’re sleeping together,” Alex replied quickly.
Michael stayed quiet for a few seconds, probably surprised. “Just because we’re… sex buddies doesn’t mean we like each other.”
“Just tell them not to send a search party, I’ll be back in a few days with souvenirs for everyone.”
“Fine. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”
“See you later.” Alex could tell there was more he wanted to say but he really didn’t have the time. You didn’t keep a lady waiting. He heard the dial tone and turned around.
“Mom!” He held a hand to his chest from shock, almost dropping the phone. “You’ll send me into another coma…” He put the phone carefully into his pocket.
“Don’t joke about that!” Gloria told him seriously, glancing down at his open bag. “Who were you talking to?”
“Michael… tall… brown hair… frowns…” Alex sighed, looking at her serious expression. “I’m going away for a few days.”
“With who?”
“Susie.” Alex watched in surprise as Gloria smiled at him.
“Are you taking her to Colorado?”
Alex bit his lip and shook his head. “Will walked out on her, Mom. She’s not gonna just follow him.”
“I spoke to him yesterday. I could tell he was missing her. He asked after the both of you. I said you’d call him.” Gloria took a breath. “She should go and see him, it’s what he wants.” Alex looked at her skeptically. “You think I don’t know you, don’t you?” Alex didn’t reply. “You’re my sons Alex. Chris is the serious one, but he’s stubborn and honest. Nate is reckless but he cares more than anyone thinks. Will is withdrawn…”
Alex shook his head. “Will’s the prankster…”
“He makes jokes so he can bypass the truth. He keeps everything below the surface. He’s just like his father.” She smiled warmly at him and Alex felt like a little boy again.
“What am I?”
“The baby. You’re a stubborn, loving, joking baby.”
Alex looked down at his mother, humoring her with a smile. “I’m twenty-three. I have a son and Susie and I will only ever be friends.”
He hugged her quickly and moved passed her.
“Don’t drive…” Gloria told him softly.
Alex held his breath, trying to block out the images that immediately began to flash through his active mind. “I have enough problems even getting into a car, Mom. I definitely wont be driving for awhile.
~*~*~*~
Thanks for reading.
Ethan
~ Saint Jerome
~*~*~*~
Part 24 – Remains of the Day
~*~*~*~
“Okay, you can do this. Come on, Super Alex. You can do this.” But nothing happened. There was no weird white force field coming from him. He was beginning to think he’d imagined the whole thing.
He grabbed the glass from the table, drinking the water inside as he contemplated calling someone about his apparent ‘change’.
It wasn’t that he didn’t trust them. It was more that… well he simply didn’t want the hassle.
He was standing when the knock at the kitchen window caught him off guard. The glass slipped from his hand.
Susie waved at him, her smile infectious. He waved back, gesturing to the back door. She nodded, moving towards it.
Alex could barely breathe as he glanced downwards, the glass mere centimeters from the floor. Held in place by the white shield. He closed his hand and the shield disappeared, the glass dropping onto the floor as Susie entered, already in full flow.
“I’ve come to the realization that all men suck.” She glanced quickly at Alex. “Present company excluded, of course.”
“Thanks.” Alex whispered, still distracted by the glass. Susie followed his gaze before kneeling down to pick it up.
“I’ll wash up, you get packing,” she told him simply, moving towards the sink.
“Am I going somewhere?” Alex asked, snapping out of his stupor.
Susie nodded. “111. Road trip.”
“Why?” he asked slowly.
“Don’t you think it’s about time we got started on your list?” She looked up at him. “We can drive down route 66… I’m not saying do the lot because that would be stupid. But 2 or 39 or 67? Actually all of them…” She smiled up at him. “I just need to get away for awhile… and you probably do, too.”
Alex looked down at her, taking a surreptitious glance at both the glass and his hand. “Okay… but not Vegas, been there, done that, I’ve literally got a crappy T-shirt.”
Susie flashed a mega-watt grin at him. “Atlantic City it is, then.”
Alex grinned back. It would be good to get away for a while. Anything to distract him from the continued weirdness of his annoying life.
~*~*~*~
“Look at him… so cute…” She pursed her lips talking ‘baby’ for the last bit, looking fondly at the photo before her.
“Getting broody, pumpkin?”
Tess looked at him, unimpressed. “Pumpkins are big fat orange things. You may want to rethink that term before I warp you into thinking you’re one.”
Kyle looked slightly scared. “How about snookems,” he tried, moving up behind her to slip his hands around her waist as he glanced down at the baby picture.
“Better but not perfect. When we’re married we’ll need proper married people nicknames.”
“Like ball and chain?” Kyle joked.
“Not exactly,” Tess admitted, biting her lip before continuing. “You know Aiden’s only a few months younger than Jake… they grow up so fast.”
“You are getting broody,” Kyle enthused, grinning with excitement.
“I just might want some of those in the future. Especially if they’re as great as Aiden and Ryan.”
“You’re biased.”
Tess blushed. “Maybe…” She twisted in his arms. “I want to get married really soon,Kyle.”
The toothy grin stayed on Kyle’s face. “What’s brought this on?”
Her face changed for a split second before she replied. “Alex is back… I think it would be nice.”
“Okay,” Kyle nodded. “Whenever you want. You just tell me where to turn up and I’ll be there.”
“Why didn’t we do this years ago?”
“I almost did.”
Tess felt her smile widen. “Really? When?”
Kyle lifted up her left hand. “Do you know when I got this thing?” Tess shook her head. “18th of October 2003.” Kyle smiled at her shock. “We lost to New Mexico 30-7. That was when I knew I was never going to make it. I mean I couldn’t even get in the team.” His face reddened. “I bet against us, I wasn’t playing so I didn’t think it mattered. We lost, I won and so I bought this thing. The next week I was looking at physiotherapy.”
“Why did you wait so long?”
Kyle shrugged. “We couldn’t get married then. But I wanted it there when the time was right. That’s now.”
Tess closed her eyes and held him tightly to her. “I love you.”
~*~*~*~
“I come bearing gifts…” Max announced as he strolled through the office doors, lunches in his hands.
He was greeted by the smiling face of Pam Troy and a tired looking Jesse Ramirez.
He dropped the box onto the nearest desk and moved towards them, wondering what had Jesse so interested.
Jesse was concentrating on the book in front of him, staring at it in wonder. He hadn’t even noticed Max’s presence as he looked at Pam in disbelief. “How did you even know about this case? I’ve never even heard of it… I don’t think Diane has either.”
“I was reading a law review a few months ago and I got interested in that section… I mean criminal law can be a very gray area at times and I was just interested…” She trailed off at the look on his face. “What?”
“How do you remember these things?”
“It’s all about training your mind.” She shrugged at him and then looked again to Max. “I have a book… I’ll go get it.”
Jesse shook his head and looked up at Max. “Hey… she just remembered a case that she read about when she started pre-law that could win us one of the most important cases this firm has ever been involved in. She remembered almost every detail.”
Max nodded his head, not really understanding the importance of the development, or really caring either. He barely understood what his parents covered, never mind what how to research a case study.
“She’s probably going to be the best lawyer I’ve ever met.”
“I don’t think I’ll tell Liz you said that.”
“She does have one problem, though… she wouldn’t know tact if it fell on her head like a piano.”
Max smiled, unsurprised. “Yeah?”
Jesse nodded, smiling back. “Yesterday she told Harry Caldwell that she hoped he and his new wife would be very happy together and he was with his granddaughter. Last week she told Kyung that she thought Bejing was the most beautiful city and he’s Korean.” He chuckled in amusement. “And before that she spent almost twenty minutes talking about the wonders of her fiancé to the soon to be ex Mrs. Evershed.”
Max allowed himself to laugh with Jesse at that. “Does she have any idea?”
“I don’t know… but she probably does Yoga or something..."
Max shook his head, not getting Jesse’s point. "Huh?"
Jesse grinned even more at Max. "Well she's gotta be supple... she spends most of the day with her foot in her mouth..."
~*~*~*~
Alex held the cell phone to his ear as he threw a change of clothes into a bag. He didn’t have much of a choice, it was amazing how much your body changed when you did nothing for five years and then worked out for a month.
Michael’s tone was, strange, maybe he was smiling or something as he replied. “So are you gonna get lucky in Atlantic City?”
Alex rolled his eyes. “Number one, we’re just friends. Number two, she’s ridiculously in love with my stupid idiot of a brother. Number three, it’s me… I’m the friend that everyone assumes is gay, not the friend you get jiggy with after a few Tequilas. Number four… it’s me, last time I actually managed to get lucky I got unlucky five hours later when I made friends with a truck.” Alex breathed through his teeth. “I had an argument with Isabel. I’m sorry.”
Michael didn’t reply directly. “Why did you call me?”
“Because yours was the only number I could remember?” Michael stayed silent on the other end of the phone. “I can’t call Liz because it would get back to Maria. I can’t call Maria because Maria hates Isabel. I can’t call Isabel because it’s weird and also because I just shouted at her. Kyle’s at work and I don’t really speak to Tess when we’re not with other people. Not that I don’t like her or anything we just never really seemed to be together…” Alex shut his mouth quickly. “I’m babbling.”
“Yes,” was Michael’s short reply.
“I don’t babble like I used to… I kinda miss it. Me and Maria used to have comp…”
“Alex!” Michael interrupted.
Alex changed sentence quickly. “Speaking of Maria, I need you to tell her not to be such a bitch to Isabel because then they’ll go off on one another and we’ll have some kind of cat fight. Not the fun kind either because I don’t think the girls would actually find any large quantities of mud…”
“Maria and I aren’t on the best terms right now.”
“You’re sleeping together,” Alex replied quickly.
Michael stayed quiet for a few seconds, probably surprised. “Just because we’re… sex buddies doesn’t mean we like each other.”
“Just tell them not to send a search party, I’ll be back in a few days with souvenirs for everyone.”
“Fine. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”
“See you later.” Alex could tell there was more he wanted to say but he really didn’t have the time. You didn’t keep a lady waiting. He heard the dial tone and turned around.
“Mom!” He held a hand to his chest from shock, almost dropping the phone. “You’ll send me into another coma…” He put the phone carefully into his pocket.
“Don’t joke about that!” Gloria told him seriously, glancing down at his open bag. “Who were you talking to?”
“Michael… tall… brown hair… frowns…” Alex sighed, looking at her serious expression. “I’m going away for a few days.”
“With who?”
“Susie.” Alex watched in surprise as Gloria smiled at him.
“Are you taking her to Colorado?”
Alex bit his lip and shook his head. “Will walked out on her, Mom. She’s not gonna just follow him.”
“I spoke to him yesterday. I could tell he was missing her. He asked after the both of you. I said you’d call him.” Gloria took a breath. “She should go and see him, it’s what he wants.” Alex looked at her skeptically. “You think I don’t know you, don’t you?” Alex didn’t reply. “You’re my sons Alex. Chris is the serious one, but he’s stubborn and honest. Nate is reckless but he cares more than anyone thinks. Will is withdrawn…”
Alex shook his head. “Will’s the prankster…”
“He makes jokes so he can bypass the truth. He keeps everything below the surface. He’s just like his father.” She smiled warmly at him and Alex felt like a little boy again.
“What am I?”
“The baby. You’re a stubborn, loving, joking baby.”
Alex looked down at his mother, humoring her with a smile. “I’m twenty-three. I have a son and Susie and I will only ever be friends.”
He hugged her quickly and moved passed her.
“Don’t drive…” Gloria told him softly.
Alex held his breath, trying to block out the images that immediately began to flash through his active mind. “I have enough problems even getting into a car, Mom. I definitely wont be driving for awhile.
~*~*~*~
Thanks for reading.
Ethan