The Life of Liz Parker (M/L, TEEN) AN 03June07[WIP]

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natalie
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The Life of Liz Parker (M/L, TEEN) AN 03June07[WIP]

Post by natalie »

Title: The Life of Liz Parker
Disclaimer: The characters of "Roswell" belong to Jason Katims, Melinda Metz, WB, and UPN. They are not mine and no infringement is intended.
Pairings/Couples/Category: M/L
Rating: Teen, maybe Mature eventually
Summary: An older man can really crush a girl’s heart.

Author's Note: I know I was writing another story, but that computer is gone now. I don't know where all the files went and well... I just can't continue. But this story came to me... hope you all like what I have so far.

--------------------------

1 – Intro

Elizabeth Parker is my name. They like to call me Liz. I come from your typical all-American household and I’m the youngest of four: two boys and two girls, though it feels like I’m the only child in the family. My brothers and sister are all at least ten years older than I am. So you can say that my conception was a surprise.

My family isn’t rich, but we’re not poor either. I’m lucky to be born into an upper-middle class family. My dad actually owns and runs a smooth operating restaurant business. My sister, Serena waits tables for a living while she goes through nursing school. My brothers, Kyle and Michael never stuck around town long enough to get dragged in. They’re somewhere off in LA doing God knows what. And I’m here, kind of off on my own, fending for myself.

It’s not too bad, I get much needed alone time. And anyways, I’ve got Alex and Maria to keep me company. I’ve known both since Mr. Payne’s science class at West Roswell Middle School. Their quirkiness attracted my attention and it helped that I’m a bit quirky myself too. It happens that way when you live in Roswell, New Mexico—it’s the alien capital of the world! And it’s also the theme to the restaurant my dad owns: The Crashdown. Sometimes I like it, sometimes I think it’s tacky, but most of the time, I don’t really care and I don’t really mind.

Maria and I wait tables a few nights a week. Whenever we’re short on money, my dad will let us take a couple of shifts. The job isn’t bad. And the tips are definitely great. On a good night, I’ll make $70 to $80. For a small town, our restaurant gets a lot of business—townies and out of towners both. We’ve only started working a year ago, since turning sixteen, but I’m definitely not planning on doing it for the rest of my life.

I have my heart set out on being an artist of some sort. I write, draw, paint, etch, and collage whenever I can. I love colors and I always make time to study the landscape around me, especially sitting outside my balcony to watch the sunrise or sunset. Most of the time, I’ll always capture it on camera before putting it to paper.

I always feel my best when I’m creating something; whether it is a drawing or painting or a piece of literature. I love that feeling. It makes me think anything can be done and that I’ll be the one to do it. My ultimate goal is to paint a masterpiece and write my life story in a memoir. If those two things are accomplished, I can live a happy life.

My parents know I have this passion for art, but they realize it’s not going to make me a lot of money. So they want me to study something concrete and something I can actually make a living off of. To ease their minds, I have given myself two options so far: 1. I can become an editor of some sort or 2. I can work in advertising. But again, I only just turned seventeen and I’m just working on trying to pass my current classes. School’s a bitch sometimes.

I know I should be doing better and getting the best grades. I don’t doubt my intelligence and ability to learn. But, school just doesn’t interest me—especially my English class. Ironic, isn’t it? Since I want to be an editor and that I love to write.

I barely put much into school. I’ve spent nights thinking about changing that, but whenever I know I should, I get lost in my head with other things. That’s how I end up not doing any of the assignments, at least… rarely doing any. However, when I do, I always end up with an A+. So again, I don’t doubt my ability, but honestly, it’s probably just procrastination and laziness.

Alex is very studious and he tries to keep me in line. But it doesn’t help that I’m also friends with Maria who is pretty much my equal. We have a bunch of classes together where the seating arrangements allow us to talk during class. We always partner up. Our presentations are always the best when we do them, but we always tend to think about things other than high school and grades. It’s probably our downfall, but for now, I want to blame it on our youth. Remember, they say it’s the time of our lives, these teenage years, so I definitely want to live it up.

Maria and I really are so much alike, though not in the looks department. She’s got those long model-like locks that flow down her back in curls. Me, well, I’ve got straight brown hair that I recently chopped off into this short bob. I like how the bangs cut across my forehead. I’ve grown into my “punk-rock” stage. I don’t go full-on black or anything. But the cut is blunt and my clothes are edgier compared to Maria’s feminine attire. We share the same tastes in pretty much everything, but I’ve always just liked things a little bolder. Maybe that’s why I’m such good friends with Alex too. He’s this great instrumentalist who can play the drums, guitar and piano. He doesn’t look the part of a rocker but he definitely can rock.

Other than those two, I float by here and there with social groups. I’m not particular on being in a clique. Maybe it’s my personality that doesn’t allow me to, or maybe I’m just not patient enough to have people sit there and judge me. I’m not stupid to know that they won’t, but I’m also not stupid enough to let it make or break me. And that’s why Maria and Alex are my best friends. We’ve always just got each other.

I may not spend all my time with one or the other, but when we are together, it just works. And I’m happy with that.

I wish all things came as easily though. I could list them for you, but I won’t. However, being seventeen and single sucks. I go to school, I come home, I go out, and all I see are couples. My parents have been together for thirty-two years now. It’s really amazing. They had me when they were about forty. I’ve witnessed many an argument between them and have even cried over several of them, but they’ve always made it work and stuck together.

Even my sister is engaged now. She’d been dating Doug for about three years and he finally popped the question to her about a month ago. They plan to marry next year spring time. I’m really excited because I’m the Maid of Honor. I get to plan the bridal shower and bachelorette party. I just hope I can pull it off for her.

Thinking about the wedding makes me want a guy of my own. I tell myself all the time that I don’t need a man to make me happy. It’s definitely true, but my poor romantic heart wants someone to hold me when I get scared or someone to kiss when the ball drops for New Years. I want flowers like my sister and I want an anniversary like my parents. I know that eventually it’ll happen for me too.

I know if I really wanted one, I can get a boyfriend anytime, but I’m just picky. It’s not to say that I’ve never liked anybody, but I’m looking for a guy that’ll make my heart pound—someone that’ll make me feel much more. I want someone who’ll understand me, someone who’ll be my best friend and make me want to be a better person. I want someone who can give me the feeling like I can do anything—like the feeling I get when I’m creating something. It’s like White Oleander when she says, “You must find a boy your own age, someone mild and beautiful to be your lover. Someone who will tremble for your touch, offer you a marguerite by its long stem with his eyes lowered, someone whose fingers are a poem.”

And I just haven’t found him yet.

But it’ll be the story of my life.

--------------------------

2 – The Meeting

My dad’s got this guy coming over for dinner tonight. And mom’s got me helping her in the kitchen. I hate cooking and it’s not from lack of trying, but I just can’t absorb correct heating temperatures and simple measurements. So I stick to cutting, peeling and chopping. I do so carefully so I don’t cut myself of course. This is reason enough for me to know I shouldn’t be in the restaurant business for anything except looking pretty as a waitress and getting a good amount of tips.

I don’t really know what mom’s cooking; I just follow her instructions until I’m finished. I wish I didn’t have to be here, but my parents insisted I sit down to dinner with them—it’s been a while since we’ve had a family dinner together. My parents are so old fashioned.

After I finish chopping, I turn to my mom who’s bent over the stove poking at something in the pot, “Hey, veggies are chopped. Am I done here?” I know—I’m impatient. It’s gotten worse over the years towards my parents especially.

Without a glance towards me, my mom simply states, “Yes, dear. Go and get dressed.”

I’m puzzled. I didn’t think this guy was a big deal; certainly not enough to impress with mom’s best china. “Dressed? Is this like a fashion police that’s coming or what? I thought this was a casual dinner.”

She turns to me and gives me a smile, “Yes, sweetie. But I hardly doubt the way you look right now is presentable to any company, fashion police or not.”

“What? What’s wrong with what I’m wearing?” It’s so comfortable being sloppy!

“Honey, you’ve got plaid, stripes and bright pink socks on. Don’t you think that’s over doing it?”

I throw my towel at her and laugh, “Yeah, but it’s comfortable!”

“Honey…” Oh, my mom, the perfectionist. I love her.

“Yeah, yeah, I’ll change…” Though she can be a bit anal about things, I know she means the best. And once I turn the corner into my room and spot myself in the mirror, I can see why she was very adamant about my wardrobe change. I look like a three year old trying to dress herself! Normally, I’m not that bad. I actually pride myself in my fashion sense. I guess I was just too tired to care after coming home from school today.

Looking through my closet, I pick out my favorite tee-shirt and shorts. I must say I’ve definitely grown into my body. And luckily, I scored in the breast department. Admiring myself, I decide to wear my favorite earrings too. After awhile, I sit on my bed feeling boredom creep into my bones and I end up sitting at my dresser putting makeup on.

As a younger kid, I would play with my mom and sister’s makeup. I’d play dress up with their jewelry, shoes and dresses. Sometimes I still do, but it’s a lot easier now to just experiment with makeup. And when I’m too tired to paint or draw, I’ll sit in front of the mirror and apply makeup. It’s weird, I know. But it relaxes me.

As I’m finishing up, my mom knocks on my door, “Honey, dinner’s ready. Come join us.”

“I’ll be right there!” I shout through the closed door.

Ten minutes later, I’m out the door and sitting myself across from a stranger. I daresay a pretty hot stranger, but a stranger nonetheless. Good thing I’ve put on my best makeup.

“Good of you to join us, Liz,” my dad says to me, knowing how I am with time management.

“I was doing something,” I replied. Of course my dad knows I wasn’t. Normally he would poke fun at me, but he just turns to the stranger and introduces us.

I look to the man across from me, Max, and smile and nod. I always get nervous when I find someone attractive. So I don’t say much during dinner. Instead, my parents and Max end up talking about their upcoming business plans. It seems like my parents want to open up another restaurant and Max is going to help them set the deal.

I finally ask, “Since when did you guys decide on opening up another one?”

“Your mom and I have always wanted to branch out. Now will be a good time to start since you’ll finish school and Serena will be getting married next year. We hope to come up with a concept, a location, and the whole works by then. It’ll keep us going since everyone’s going to be off doing their own thing.”

“Oh. Well, that’s cool.”

After a brief pause, my dad speaks up softly, “Depending on where you go to school, we may even open it close to you.”

Confused, I ask, “What do you mean close to me?” I look around the table and notice everyone’s kind of keeping their mouth shut. “Are you serious?”

“Well, it’ll be really good for everyone especially if you go to Albuquerque. There’ll always be a job for you and it’ll give us reason to come visit you more often.” Mom tries to come to dad’s defense. But I just hate that they’re so overprotective—worrying so much about me. It’s not like they care that Kyle and Michael are in LA by themselves… or that Serena is on the verge of marriage. No, they’ve got to focus on the one person in the house that doesn’t want all this attention.

It’s like he knew I’d react this way… and so like them to want to watch over me, even when I’m supposed to be independent. “I haven’t even finished school yet. And already you’re deciding what I’m going to do?” This is really annoying. I can’t believe they would already decide my future before I’ve even made any plans… at least… before they’ve discussed it with me!

“No. We said if you go there.” That’s not even the issue.

“That’s not the point, you said, depending on where I go to school…”

“It was just an option. Nothing’s really planned out yet.” Whatever! Wherever I go, they’ll always want to be there. That’s crazy!

“Honey, we’re not trying to decide anything for you. We just thought maybe it’ll be a good option. So please don’t get upset over this.” Mom tries to buffer the argument in the making.

“I’m sorry. I just… well, if I am going to school. I just thought… no… I want to be on my own—”

My mom cuts me off before I can go on, “Can we have this conversation another time?” She looks between my dad and me, “Please?”

“Yeah, okay,” I say. My parents are already apologizing to Max. And I understand it’s not a conversation to be blown out of proportion in front of him.

I’m a little bummed right now, but to get my mind off of what just happened, I turn to Max with a smile on my face that belies the irritation I’m feeling, “Welcome to the Parker household, Max.” I give him a shake of my head.

He chuckles and replies, “Thank you.” He’s got a great smile.

Before I could think about it, I ask, “If you don’t mind me asking, aren’t you a bit young to be going into business with my dad? I figure you’re what, twenty-two?”

“Liz! That’s rude, Max you don’t have to answer that.” I forget my manners in front of my mom sometimes, but I think I caught it from my granddad.

“No, it’s okay. I’m actually twenty-four.” He says it like he’s used to being aged wrong all the time. “It’s just that I’ve grown up with my mom’s business and she’s taught me all she knows. It’s better than any business college because I get experience. My family has a successful restaurant in LA.”

“Really?” I’m curious.

“Yeah, it’s called Bella.”

“That’s cool, so what makes you stop by to Roswell?”

“Liz, Max is Phillip Evans’ son.”

“What?? Really? How come I’ve never met you before?”

“My sister and I stayed with my mom in LA.”

“Oh.” I always wondered about Mr. Evans. He wasn’t here that long, but he was always nice to me. He and my dad were neighbors and Mr. Evans moved back into town to help his sick mom. “Why didn’t you guys come when Claudia died?”

Before Max can reply, my dad stops him, “Liz, I think that’s enough questioning.” I realize I’ve taken it too far and apologize. So much for a first impression… first I practically get into a yelling match with my parents, and then I step over the boundaries of polite conversation. “You should help your mom clean the table now. Max and I are just going to be in the study.”

“Okay dear. Come on Liz.” Mom turns to me and I resign to help her clean up. Sometimes I hate that my mom does all the cooking and cleaning because I think dad should take his turn and do it as well. But I can’t argue with them about it… they’re traditional like that.

I just know when I’m married, I won’t be a slave to my husband or house. Not saying that I won’t cook or clean, but I would hope we’d do it together and share the responsibilities. After washing and rinsing, mom makes me bring refreshments to dad and Max, telling me to mind my mouth while I do it.

Normally, I would protest, but this time I actually want to have a reason to be around Max. I don’t want my inappropriate behavior over dinner be the only thing he sees in me. I’d like to show him that I’m not always defiant or am I always as nosy and prying.

Jesus, I’ve been so bad.

I think, who could love a girl like me?

--------------------------

Max just left. He’s staying at the Gilford—a pretty nice hotel for such a small town. I’ve only been there once. The restaurant kitchen caught on fire last year and though they stopped it before it did any real damage, the smoke permeated through the restaurant and the apartment we live in upstairs. For a week, we stayed at the Gilford waiting for cleanup, repairs and remodeling to finish as well as the fumes to dissipate.

But I guess Max will be staying in Roswell for a while since I’ve found out he’ll be managing the restaurant. My parents will be out of town next week for a convention they’ve planned months ago. They were going to have Serena and Doug look over for that week, but Max offered his help. He said he didn’t mind.

I wonder why he offered his services so quickly though. But I’m not going to argue because it means Max will be here for the next two weeks.

From what I’ve seen so far of Max, he’s a pretty quiet guy but is very honest. Even if I might have pried too far, he didn’t back down from trying to answer. I’m hoping to get to know him better the next couple of weeks. He seems like a cool guy and I hope maybe we can be friends. Plus, it definitely helps that he’s good looking. What can you say? I AM a girl, after all.

But before I go all boy-crazy, I remind myself he’s twenty-four. It doesn’t seem like a bad age, but that means he’s seven years older than me. By the time I’m twenty-one, he’ll almost be thirty. We’ll always be at different stages in our lives and I didn’t picture I’d want that. But a little harmless infatuation wouldn’t kill me, right?

I mean, the guy is beautiful!

Even though I’ve never dated anyone, I find a lot of guys attractive. Max’s got this hair thing to him; it kind of curls into his eyes and makes him look really young. He looks like he could be keeping a secret. I guess you’d call him a mystery man, with his dark features.

There’s an air of exotic to him—with his almost black hair to the long lashes and down to his tanned skin. When he smiled, his eyes would sparkle, though, I never dared look him directly in the eye. I just happened to notice when he wasn’t looking my way.

I could tell he probably worked out or played a sport. He had a lean, muscular and athletic body. There aren’t that many guys other than the jocks at school who fit that category here. So, Max will definitely be eye candy to many girls. I bet he has a girlfriend in LA. It would be just my luck… I meet someone who I’m instantly attracted to and they’re attached.

But it’s not like it would work out anyways, I try to tell myself. He’s too old for me. And he probably thinks I’m too young for him anyways; I am only seventeen. It would be illegal. This just makes me wish I was older. Makes me a little bit sad.

I get up to turn on my stereo. Whenever I start feeling down, I put on Sarah McLachlan. And I get inspired to write. This time though, I feel like drawing. I take out my sketch pad and before I know what I’m doing, I’ve got a pair of eyes staring back at me. It’s not enough, so I begin to mix my paints to match the very color of his eyes. With a touch of white, his eyes are now sparkling like I remember them.

I shake my head, and think, boy, this is deep. “Get a grip, girl.” I tell myself out loud. I hang the picture on my mirror, stare at it for a bit, and realize I feel better.

I put my things away and start listening to the song playing—

Spend all your time waiting
for that second chance
for a break that would make it okay
there's always one reason
to feel not good enough
and it's hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction
oh beautiful release
memory seeps from my veins
let me be empty
and weightless and maybe
I'll find some peace tonight

in the arms of an angel
fly away from here
from this dark cold hotel room
and the endlessness that you fear
you are pulled from the wreckage
of your silent reverie
you're in the arms of the angel
may you find some comfort there...


She’s a true artist. I will never be a singer or songwriter, but I hope I’ll be able to express myself just as powerful one day. Until then, boys are just a distraction. My bed calls to me, giving me comfort to sleep peacefully.

—so I say goodnight.







-----

Edited to say:
1. The quote from White Oleander is by Janet Fitch
2. The song by Sarah McLachlan is Angel from her album, Mirrorball
Last edited by natalie on Sun Jun 03, 2007 7:30 pm, edited 6 times in total.
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natalie
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The Life of Liz Parker (Part 3) 01.26.07

Post by natalie »

Thanks begonia9508, Dreamerlaure, Thumbelina, and maya for replying.

Yes, seven years it not too much and that's one of the main reasons I picked it. For Liz and Max, they're both still young and they can still relate, but she knows that because they are at a different age, they will always be at different places in life. That doesn't mean she can't dream it will happen... haha... and it doesn't mean it won't happen either. Anyways, I hope that made sense.

Dreamerlaure, thank you! As a writer, you always try to make it believeable and I'm glad that you think I'm doing so. :D I also want this story to be more than just Max and Liz and I'm really trying to incorporate a real family situation as well as friendships.

Thumbelina, I'm happy you like this character. I hope it kind of reflects the Liz on the show that I loved. But I'm working on making her more fiery and independent than defiant. Of course, she's going to have her moments with her parents, but that's a given at that age...

Anyways, on another note: In real life, there is a lot of angst... no one just gets the perfect relationship the first time around unless they're really lucky. And also remember, Liz is still seventeen. We were all fickle at that age, weren't you?

I hope you continue reading and enjoying. And I ask, if anyone would like to become my beta, I guess that's what you would call it... I can sometimes get lost on my stories and I'm looking for someone to keep me motivated for this one.

Anyways, on to the story....








3 – A Summer Kiss

It’s Saturday and the restaurant hasn’t opened up yet. I’m leaning over the counter trying to see what Max is doing. I mentioned earlier that I love milkshakes and now he’s preparing his “special” concoction for me. So far, it looks like any regular strawberry milkshake.

Max has been here a week now and we’ve become friends. Whenever I’m not in school, I find myself at the restaurant helping out. Maria thinks it’s because of Max that I’m more available to “help-out”. Of course it’s true, but I’ll never admit it to her. I just give everyone the excuse that I’m trying to save up some money for Spring Break. I thought maybe I could go to LA to see Kyle and Michael. I don’t let myself think that Max actually lives in LA too, even though he’s said I can go to Bella and he’ll make sure I get VIP treatment. It sounds very appealing, but if I believe it, I’ll start to expect things. I don’t want expectations from Max because I know it’s pointless. In the end, I know I’ll end up with a crushed heart, intentional or not.

Breaking my thoughts, Max finally turns around with a glass full of a frothing pink milkshake. “Here you go.” He hands it to me, waiting for me to taste. “My mom always made it for us as a kid. She calls it the Summer Kiss.”

“A kiss huh?” I raise my eyebrow at him, egging him on. An image of Max and I kissing pops into my head. Though I wish it was real, I doubt the reality of it coming true.

“Yeah, but don’t get any ideas now…” See, I knew it.

He watches as I take my first sip; it’s definitely a sweet kiss. I know my face is showing my enjoyment. “How’d it get its name?”

“During the summer, we used to go strawberry picking together as a family. We’d have baskets full of strawberries. And my parents were always affectionate, but once Isabel and I started school. We didn’t like our parents hugging or kissing us anymore. This was my mom’s idea of an alternative affection.”

“Awww, that’s really cute.” For the first time, I see Max blush. It’s really adorable.

“Yeah, well, why don’t you finish that shake and I’ll get this place opened up for today.”

Moments later, Serena walks in with Doug. “Hey guys, Doug and I are going to be out today. I’ll be here for the dinner shift though.” I have to admire my sister; she really works hard to please everyone. She reminds me of mom, more of a homebody than I will ever be.

“Okay. But you couldn’t call to tell us that?” I ask curiously, seeing no need to why she had to show up to the restaurant, since she’s been living with Doug for a few months now.

“No… What can I say? I miss my little sister and her adorable cheeks that I just have to pinch!” She reaches out and pinches HARD! I really don’t understand why she likes to do that.

“Ouch! Serena, get away from me!” My cheek hurts and I glare at my sister and the two men around me smirking. Later, I’ll have to think up something to get back at her, but for now, I turn to Doug incredulously and ask, “How do you put up with her?”

“What can I say? I love her.” Of course that earns him a kiss on the lips and I turn away. What a suck up! Besides… they’re just too affectionate with each other for my liking, though I’ll never admit to them that a lot of times, I envy their love.

Laughing, Serena states, “Anyways, I’m only here to get mom’s picnic basket. We’re going to the lake at Frasier Park. I thought it would be fun to feed the ducks. You know how much I like them!” With that comment, I realize my sister is much too young for her age as she walks through the back door and up to the apartment. But although we’re ten years apart in age, she’s the closest person to me, next to Maria.

Even though she’s busy with her life, which includes Doug and school, we do try to find some time to hang out, always finding fun and laughter. If not having everything in common, we happen to be both very competitive. I remember once, Susan and Laura—Doug’s sisters, and Serena and I played a marathon game of Scrabble. Of course we had to bet them, because obviously, we are the greatest Scrabble players ever!

That night ended with Susan and Laura in the receiving in of a “make-over”. It included lots of heavy makeup, skimpy outfits, and Polaroid’s—and it seriously became one of the best nights of my life. Susan and Laura will never hear the end of it.

In between those moments though, I find myself off doing my own thing. I think independence runs in my household, maybe that’s why I hate it so much that my parents worry about me like they do. I don’t understand it.

Serena comes running down the stairs and is now in possession of the basket. She and Doug leave the restaurant wishing me a good day, going as quickly as she came.

“Bye!” I call out. I wish I could go with, always feeling the tug of wanting to spend time with Serena more. But at least this time… there’s Max. I turn to face him, watching and seeing his confident steps.

As if on cue, he looks up at me and I quickly turn away. I don’t want him thinking I’m crushing on him, even if I am. I continue drinking the shake, thinking of everything and nothing at the same time.

Soon, all morning staff is here. The grill and stove is warmed up, and I can smell bacon cooking. I walk to the back lockers and put on my apron. I refuse to put on the antennas that go with the whole alien themed attire.

“You have to wear that.”

Startled, I turn around to find Max behind me. Looking up at him, he’s much taller than I am, instinctively, I put on my biggest puppy dog look and pout, “But I don’t want to!” And it comes out as a childlike whine, something normally reserved for my dad.

“Come on Liz, it goes with the theme. It’s not about looks… people are here for the atmosphere and if one of our own doesn’t follow, what would it say about the business?” Gosh, what an ambassador for good business! I laugh to myself over my sarcastic thought.

“That’s just stupid.”

“Yes, it may be, but I’d prefer it if you put it on.” He gives me a look that I can’t refuse and I cave.

But not without one last word, “Fine,” so I stick my tongue out at him. As soon as I realize what I’m doing, I can feel the heat on my cheeks. I can’t believe I just did that. For the life of me, I don’t understand why I feel and act so much younger when I’m around him.

He just shakes his head, laughs, and walks off. Damn him for being so cool!

For the rest of the morning, I am conscious of my movements. I know I told myself to not be so hopeful, but it’s natural that I want to look good in front of him. Because he’s so poised and calm, I feel like I have to be like that too. Is it illogical? I don’t know.

Maybe.

When lunch time rolls around, my shift is over. I’m thankful because it’s been so busy that I was constantly moving around the whole morning. My back is sore, my feet hurt, and I’m definitely ready for that dip in Maria’s pool. I said I’d stop by her house today because we haven’t had much time with each other lately. Too much time apart and we both get antsy. We have to have our quality time together. Anyways, I miss her. She is my best friend, after all.

I head over to the back where I know Max will be. It seems like he’s been as busy as I have. But he looks like he enjoys it.

“Thanks Liz for your help today.”

“It’s no problem,” I say. “I’m going to head out now.”

“Okay. What are your plans today?” Always so polite.

“I’m going to hang out with Maria. She’s got a pool in her backyard and on a hot day like this, I think it’ll do us good. Maybe when my parents get back and you’re not busy managing, you can join us,” extending him an invite, hoping maybe he would accept.

“Thanks, but when your parents get back, I have to head back out to LA.”

“Oh.” I know I sound dejected. Kind of pathetic, but I can’t help it.

“But maybe when I’m not so busy later?” I look up at him and he assures me with his eyes that he’ll try. He smiles, knowing that’s what I wanted to hear.

“Yeah, that would be great. I’m sure Maria won’t mind.” With that smile, my heart skips a beat and I try to cover my reaction up with nonchalance. “See you later, Max.”

See, mature, poised and calm I can be too. I hope he notices.

----------

“Hey Liz, what do you think about that new guy, Sean?” What a random question from Maria. I wonder where this is going.

“What about him?” I ask. Sean’s been in Roswell about a month now and he’s in our math class. He’s outgoing, talkative and is always cracking some kind of joke. He keeps the class pretty entertained, mimicking Mr. Thomas when he’s not looking.

“Do you think he’s cute?” Where is she going with this?

“He’s alright,” I say. He’s not bad looking, but he’s no Max. I mean, I did think he was cute when I first saw him, but I wouldn’t go out of my way to get a second look.

Maria sits up from the lounge and looks me in the eye, states it like it’s something really serious, “He was staring at you the other day.”

Surprised, I wave my hand and laugh it off, “No way…”

She practically screams, “Yes!” Maria nudges my arm for emphasis and continues, “He’s totally interested in you. In class, I noticed he was watching you when you weren’t looking. You’re definitely his eye candy.”

“Really?” I’m intrigued now. I can’t help but feel flattered and wanted by this. “Well, he’s nice and funny.”

“But if he asks you out, will you go out with him?” Maria’s been trying to get me to date a lot lately. I think because since she started dating, she wants me to have someone too… that way we can double-date.

“I don’t know…” I know I’m hesitating. I know why, but I also know that it really shouldn’t be the reason why I wouldn’t go out with Sean.

“And why not?” Maria asks.

I just can’t voice it out loud, so I say, “I don’t know.”

Maria doesn’t push me and I’m thankful. “Well, I think you should. You should at least try one date. At least consider that if nothing else.”

Why not? “Okay,” I agree. I should always keep my options open, right? And if he does ask me out… why not? It’s about time I date, right?

“Really?” Maria gets this big smile on her face and it should have warned me.

“Sure,” I say. Again… why not?

“Good. Because I heard he’s gonna ask you out tonight!” Wow.

“What?” I wasn’t prepared for that.

“Yeah, I overheard him talking to George Polanski say he was going to this weekend. I wonder when he’ll do it. Do you think he’ll go to the restaurant? Or maybe he got your number? I wonder where he’ll take you…” Maria is really excited.

“Slow down, slow down. Tonight?”

Maria nods. She’s so animated, it can be really funny. I love it. But this time I can’t seem to find my normal enthusiasm. It’s almost dinner shift at the restaurant and Max has yet to call or come over. I doubt he’ll show up now.

“Okay, so if Sean asks, I’ll say yes.” I’ve made up my mind.

If Sean does do it, I hope he comes to the restaurant. I want Max to see that there are guys who are interested. God, when did I start thinking of using other guys to make him… what? Jealous?

Boy-crazy I am. I hate this. I wish I knew my life story before it happened so I wouldn’t waste my time pining over anyone. If only God were so nice… I resolve to let go of my feelings for Max. I allowed myself to believe he’d come. And I proved myself right when I start to expect things, only disappointment can follow.

Anyways, Sean is a nice guy and I should really give him a chance. I know how it feels to like someone. I turn to Maria, “So, what are your plans tonight?”

“Mark is taking me out to a concert in Albuquerque.” Mark is the boy she’s been dating for two months now. He’s nice, but I don’t think it’ll last. He’s too out there for Maria. She might be spontaneous and care-free herself, but her morals are up there… Mark just doesn’t fit that bill. Eventually, Maria will see it, she always does.

We spend the rest of the day catching up on things we’ve missed. I told her briefly how Max was doing, not wanting to linger on him too long. She hasn’t worked a shift too much since dating Mark. He tends to take up a lot of her time.

I don’t resent him for it, but I still miss her company. And I tell her so. She says we have Spring Break to look forward to. Maria’s got a slight crush on Michael. I find it ridiculous as she starts to ramble on about my brother. And I think seven years is too much… just imagine Maria and Michael… twelve years difference.


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natalie
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Post by natalie »

Thanks to begonia9508, Dreamerlaure, and Erina for replying!

+ Liz is 17 right now. And Max is 24. Hehe, well, yeah, it is an issue when she's still in high school. But eventually it won't be an issue... I guarantee a happy ending. :D
+ The angst will be there. So... prepare for it. Haha. :!: However, again, happy ending, but it'll be a long time coming. So fair warning!
+ I'm not even going to try to explain Max. :P Just wait and see!

So, I was going to wait to post this, but I can't help myself. I've been working on it all day and I'd like to hear some responses. :D It's one of two parts.

Again, thanks for replying and hope you all enjoy. :)


------------------------------


4 – The Date– Round One


Today is Sunday.

It’s the first day of the week according to the American calendar system. And today is my very first date with the very first boy who could have the potential to be my very first much more… according to Maria, at least. She has high hopes and I’m just hoping for a nice time.

Like always, I’m not expecting major fireworks. Is it cynicism? No, I don’t think so. I just don’t think Sean will be the love of my life. I might be early in my predictions, but, I already know what type of person I’m looking for, and he’s just—not it.

But that’s not to say I’m not going to give him a fair chance to try and win me over…

Though he didn’t come in last night like Maria had earlier thought, Sean arrived bright and early during my breakfast shift. He definitely had me laughing, making me forget my original nervousness over the proposal in the first place.

The day began like any other day before it. I could be seen waiting tables, shuffling around from customer to customer taking orders, when in walked Sean. I stopped in my tracks briefly, feeling my heart beat faster and my palms start to sweat. Much like any other time with a boy, I find myself just a little bit more aware of my actions, a little bit more self-conscious, and a whole lot more nervous than I would be around lets say… Alex, someone I am not attracted to in that way.

And it’s not even that I’m extremely attracted to Sean… no, it’s just that when Maria said he was really attracted to me, it amplified my own emotions. It tends to happen like that sometimes, doesn’t it? No matter how much you try to squash it…

I guess that’s what being a girl is like—or just being human.

He came over and sat in my section, giving me a winning smile, and for the first time, a wink. I couldn’t help but return a smile—they’re infectious! And the next thing I know, he’s got me cracking up on a joke about Will Smith and Sigourney Weaver getting it on to produce a William Shatner offspring. But what caught me off guard, was when he took my hand, with all seriousness, looked me in the eye and simply said, “Will you go out with me tonight?”

He had the most honest and eager look in his eyes and I could not back out and say, ‘no’!

Anyways, after yesterday, I’ve resolved my feelings towards Max and have pushed to move on from the disappointment. At least, I keep telling myself that. And with Sean to focus on, someone my age and on the same level as I am, I can look to lessen the crush I have for Max.

If I were eighteen now, it might be different. I might actually give it a shot… but at seventeen and him being in his mid-twenties… I have no idea if he would be remotely interested in a girl who’s still in high school.

So, the façade of a friendship has been put back where it rightfully belongs. And I’m back to being the helpful waitress and not a wishful-thinking hopeful girlfriend.

It’s a good thing. Now I have a date.

Maria’s here helping me out. She came by earlier to help me pick out the outfit and get the gossip. I fill her in on how he asked, where he’s taking me which by the way, is Mr. Chow. It’s my favorite restaurant around town, so at least I know the food I’ll be eating is going to be great! Sean wins a point for that one.

I say to Maria, “I just hope Sean won’t be cracking jokes all night like he normally does in class.” When I said he’s funny, it’s true, but I’m hoping for good conversation too.

“Either way, Liz, as long as you have fun… that means it’s a good date. I’d rather be laughing the whole time than be bored to tears like my date with Andrew that one time, remember?”

“Oh, yeah! Didn’t you pretend to have female issues to get out of it early?”

“Yeah, and he totally choked when I said I forgot to bring any extra tampons. He was a gentleman though; he drove me over to the drugstore so I could get a fresh supply. But once he got me home, he’s never been able to look me straight in the eye again.” Maria recalls, with a twinkle in her eye from her amusement. She can definitely come up with some crazy ideas!

“Okay, well, what if Sean bores me and I want to get out? What should I do?” Suddenly, I realize that it could be a possibility and it scares me to be stuck on a date I can’t get out of.

“I could pretend to be your mom calling and ask you how everything’s going. If you say it’s good, I’ll leave you alone, but if you say it’s not, I’ll find something to get you out of it. Courtney always said she used that on her dates.” Courtney is Maria’s older cousin. She’s a real girly-girl who fits right in with the sorority crowd. They’re pretty close, but lately, Courtney’s been a real grouch towards Maria. We all think it’s the guy she’s dating, Eric. But I won’t go into that right now, it’s a long story.

“Sounds like a plan. Thanks, Maria,” I’m glad she knows what to do. Finishing up with my lip gloss, I turn around from the mirror and show Maria my complete look.

“You look great!” Maria compliments me as I twirl in front of her. I’m wearing a knee-length skirt that kind of swooshes around my legs. It’s very feminine and I like it. The top has a wide scoop neck that shows off my collarbone—sexy but not too sexy. To top it off, I’ve got these great coral colored dangly earrings to showcase my neck and shoulders. And I have to agree with Maria, I really do look great.

In mock confidence, like Monica in Friends, I give her an enthused, “I know!” Immediately, I stop in front of her and ask her deadpan, “Okay, so what now?”

Like a mom would say, “Well, you go on that date… and you’re going to have some fun.” To reassure me even further, Maria gets up to give me a hug. I didn’t realize how much I needed one.

“I hope so,” I say. The jitter-bugs are starting to flutter wildly in my stomach. It’s the same feeling I get when I have to present something in front of a large crowd. When I have to sell something—myself, my project, my ideas… it’s always something that makes me nervous.

If only I was like Maria on this one, she somehow always has confidence to speak up. So whenever we partnered up in projects in school, she would present and I would do the displays. Moving away from me, Maria says contemplatively, “I’m going to go downstairs to watch out for him,” and then I see the wheels spinning in her head, “We need to make you an entrance…”

Shaking my head desperately, knowing Maria, I refuse, “No, no, I don’t need one.”

“Of course you do!” And before I can stop her, she’s running downstairs and running right back up to tell me he’s here. If I wasn’t so nervous, I would laugh at that.

I start to get tense now. I’ve never done this before, and though I know I look good, I hope he thinks so. And Max is somewhere downstairs too. I don’t know if I want to see him before I go or not. Even after everything I’ve told myself, I’m still struggling with my feelings.

“Come on, Liz! He’s waiting,” Maria says. I break out of my thoughts and head out the door.

It’s like slow motion, walking down the stairs. All I can see are my feet stepping down one-by-one that I don’t notice Max. He stops in his tracks at the bottom of the stairs, and before I know it, I’m standing in front of his chest. Why, God? Why? “You look really good, Liz,” he says.

My heart starts pounding; I lean on my toes, and realize my body is going towards his. But before I literally fall into him, he grabs me by the arms and steadies me, “Whoa, are you alright?”

“Yeah, sorry,” I say as I’m looking up at him. This is so embarrassing.

“Okay, good. Just wanted to let you know he’s a lucky guy you’re going out with. But if he tries anything, you know… umm… well, you know where I am.” I feel like that’s something my dad would say. But my dad definitely wouldn’t look at me the way Max is right now.

I don’t know what to think of it, so I ignore it. “Thanks, but what? You’re going to beat him up for me?”

He cocks his head and chuckles, “Yeah, that was the plan.”

I smile, “I think I’ll be alright.”

“Okay.”

Knowing I need to get going, I say, “I’ll see you later, Max.”

“Bye.” I don’t want to read into that conversation, so I turn around quickly and walk out through the double doors.

Sean’s at the counter talking to José, the cook. I walk up to him and tap on his shoulder. He spins around and gives me a big smile and I feel better. “Wow. You look great, Liz. Are you ready to go?”

“Yeah, I can’t wait… kind of starving here.” I turn around to wave to Maria at the door and I please myself knowing my eyes don’t roam further.

Sean and I end up having a great time at dinner. He entertains me with more impressions of Mr. Thomas, our math teacher, who’s always with a cup of coffee in hand, and the dullest personality. “One good thing came out of this class though.”

“What’s that?” I ask curiously. I barely get anything out of class; I’m wondering how Sean can either.

“You.” Flattered, I bite my lip and feel my cheeks burn from the heat. I award Sean with a smile of my own. That seems to be the motto for the evening, my smiles. I’m glad though. I know what it feels like to be wanted and it’s a good feeling. With Sean, I don’t have to worry about not knowing. “You’re really cute, you know that?”

“Thanks.” What else am I supposed to say? I want to change the subject, so I ask the first thing that pops into my head, “What kind of music do you like?”

This is where we both find out we don’t really have too much in common. Whereas I prefer punk, alternative and soft rock, he prefers heavy metal and hip-hop. We wind up debating how screaming can be considered music. I personally hate that. But Sean loves bands like The Used, El Nino, and Linkin Park. We go at it for the rest of dinner and find ourselves laughing together through our respective debates.

However, we do find out that we’re both really good pool players. “I will totally beat your ass in pool!” Sean declares smugly. He’s got this arrogant look to him and I can’t help but think it’s adorable. On the other hand, I am very good at pool and I want to wipe that smile off, no matter how cute it is!

I chuckle, “Sure, if you think so,” I say no more, knowing my talents will prove everything.

“What are you trying to say?” I see him stand taller, sizing me up.

“That you don’t know what you’re getting yourself into…” I lean over the table, make the break and watch as a solid sinks into the corner pocket. I’m feeling very proud at this moment and maybe just a little bit arrogant too, so I do a classic girl move and brush my hair off my shoulders.

I think my competitiveness has definitely allowed me to loosen up. And when Sean flatters me again with a comment, I reply back confidently, “Not so bad yourself…”

For the rest of the evening, we end up walking around town, past the square and through Frasier Park. The air is cooling down and I’m getting cold, but Sean surprises me when he scoots closer, pulling me into a hug. And I’m actually comforted and warmed by the gesture.

For the first time this evening, we touch. We stand there for a few moments, embraced in a hug. I notice the stars shining brightly and no longer do I feel a breeze. It’s weird when I let myself go and accept my surroundings. I feel more.

But before I can fully comprehend all my feelings, we head back to the Crashdown.

“Thanks,” I say, really grateful for a fantastic evening. No fireworks, but maybe a few sparks here and there, I would say.

“My pleasure,” he replies. He steps up closer to me, doesn’t give me a kiss, but instead, a peck on the cheek. His warm breathe on my skin sends tingles down my body. Then he starts to back away with a smile, “So… I’ll see you in school?” When did he suddenly become so shy?

But the smile is contagious anyways, “Yeah, goodnight Sean.”

“Goodnight, Liz.”


-------------------------------
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natalie
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Post by natalie »

Here it is... the other half of part FOUR




The Date – Round Two

I make my way into the restaurant, thinking about the evening and how well it went. I’m so distracted that I don’t realize Max is still in the restaurant. He’s always startling me lately, “Looks like you had a good time.”

He must have caught my smile. I genuinely respond with, “Yeah, it was fun.”

“That’s good.” We stand across from each other in the dimly lit room. There’s an awkward pause before he tries at idle conversation, “It was a busy night here, though. I finally just sent everyone home.”

Knowing how busy it can get on a Friday night, I voice my guilt, “Oh, I’m sorry. I could have helped out.”

He shakes his head, “No, don’t worry about it. You deserve to have a night off, you’ve helped out a lot lately.” When did he get so close to me? I practically jump when I feel his hand on my shoulder.

Slowly, I raise my eyes to his with a smile, “Yeah, but I don’t mind.”

For a second, I thought… maybe… but instead, Max steps away from me, backing up, taking his hand off my shoulder and quickly says, “I was going to fix myself a sandwich before going back to the hotel. Did you want anything?”

Not about to pass on spending some one-on-one time with Max, I accept his invite, “I did just come from dinner, but yeah… I think I’ll have something. Let me just go change real quick.” I rush upstairs and change into a regular tee and shorts. By the time I get back down, he’s already got a shake made for me. “Thanks, exactly what I was going to ask for.”

“No problem.” He walks into the kitchen and eventually emerges with two sandwiches. Watching him makes me wish this was a real date. I wonder how Max is with the women he likes. Would he take them out to a fancy restaurant? Or would he just cook for them and eat by candlelight? I’ve never actually asked him if he was dating anyone. I didn’t think it was appropriate at any time, nor did I want to give him the idea that I was thinking about it.

We sit at the counter to eat and conversation flows easily. He tells me a story about his sister, Isabel. She’s working as a model now and that I probably have seen her in some catalogs. I can tell Max really enjoys his family. It doesn’t make sense why I shouldn’t have met Max before now though. Mr. Evans was here when I was twelve, because Claudia was getting sick. Why wouldn’t they join him?

“Why didn’t your family come when Claudia passed away or even visit?”

“It was a weird time for our family then. My parents were going through some troubles. I think my dad had an affair and my mom couldn’t handle seeing him anymore. Isabel and I were off doing our own thing. I was actually in Europe at the time with a buddy of mine. I think because of what my dad did, we naturally sided with my mom. I know it was wrong, Claudia was still family, but… we’d always been so close before… and for my dad to betray my mom like that… it hit us all pretty hard.”

“He eventually went back to LA, right?”

“Yeah, he did. And he pleaded and begged my mom to take him back. I still don’t know why he did it in the first place. But if my mom could forgive him, Isabel and I could too.”

“So that’s how you ended up here?”

“Yeah, your dad mentioned his interest in expanding and my dad suggested I come help out. Bella, named after Isabel, of course has been open since I can remember. So I’ve grown up in that environment. I’ve watched my mom work her magic with suppliers, lawyers and marketing agents, and chefs. It’s a tough business, especially in LA, but I’ve learned to love it like my mom.”

“Yeah, the Crashdown’s been here before I was born. But I’ve never got into it.”

“It’s not for all people.”

“Yeah, I prefer to be somewhere off on my own. I think as soon as I got my first paint kit, I knew I wanted to keep doing that for the rest of my life.”

“Wow. You paint?”

“Yeah, you see that picture on the wall?” I point to the frame across the room. “I did that.”

“That’s amazing.” It was one of the first paintings I did freshman year. Dad and I had gone to the annual father daughter camping trip. The sun was setting around the desert and I snapped a photo. I found the moment so peaceful and thanked God I was there to witness such a beautiful sight.

“Thanks,” I reply. I suddenly feel tired and wish I didn’t. But my body betrays me as I stretch out and yawn.

“Looks like you should get to bed,” as Max lets a yawn out, “and I should too.”

We both move to the kitchen to put away the plates. I walk Max to the front, say our goodbyes, and I close the door behind him. There is no hug or a kiss this time. Goes to show me it isn’t a real date.

The night actually ends better than I expect. I had fun with Sean and had good conversation with Max. But with Max, I just know I’m going to be setting myself up for heartache. I can’t deny my feelings, it’s obvious, but I also know I can’t let it rule me. With the time I spent with Sean, it shows me that I am capable of enjoying other people, and I can see myself really liking him too.

From now on, I will continue dating Sean and be Max’s friend. It will eventually work out. Maybe my feelings will grow for Sean and I’ll forget about Max. Just maybe…

--------------------

One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven…

Who said counting sheep worked?

Frustrated, I open my eyes, turn to look at the clock and realize it’s only been three minutes since I last checked, twenty-eight minutes since I laid myself down to sleep, and forty-five minutes since I saw Max. Angry at the situation, I kick the covers off and scream into my pillow. ARRRRRGGHHHHHH!

If I had known I wouldn’t be able to sleep, I would have stayed downstairs with Max until sunrise or longer. But of course I know there’s too much on my mind right now to sleep, my mind won’t let me until I get it out.

Restless, I dig in my drawer and find the journal that Serena gave me as a sweet sixteen present. Every thought, every emotion, sadness, pain, anger, happiness, joy, relief, frustration, anticipation… has formed somewhere and somehow in this journal.

When I am at a loss for words, I find it in the pages of this hard-bound book. I always begin with, “I don’t know what to say.” And though sometimes that may be true, for some reason, once it’s written down, I am okay again. I can move on. Nothing holds me back.

Wrapping myself with a blanket, I crawl out my window and onto the balcony. The stars are out bright tonight. I light a few candles around me and start to relax on the lounge chair. I begin tonight’s entry with my usual, and it takes me a few moments before pen hits paper again.

“Why do I feel like I can’t explain myself—like there’s two sides of me. A part of me wishes for Max, and yet another won’t quit telling me that it won’t work out. I don’t know what to believe after tonight. Should I even be hopeful? Or am I just waiting to get hurt? I don’t know why I can’t make up my mind… I know I should. Sean is a wonderful guy. He’s sweet and funny, and someone who can be here for me. It’s just really ridiculous that I’m like this right now. I feel embarrassed for my own self.”

I can be so indecisive sometimes. I hate it.

Knowing there’s nothing else for me to say, I jump up, crawl back into my room and grab my box of art supplies. I have the sudden urge to create something.

One word pops up from my mind: LOVE.

Without real focus, I start cutting up pages from magazines. Finding all the reds I can, haphazardly cutting images out, I paste them onto my canvas. Once my background is finished, I search for the biggest brush to dip into black paint. Lightly, I cover the background. Using anything I can find, I wipe the black away, creating depth and texture between the paint and the pasted cut-outs.

Rummaging through my supplies, I find the black marker I need. Impatient and before all the paint can fully dry, I start to draw a heart. Not your typical elementary heart, but a real live beating heart. Boldly, I go over my lines to make it pop across the page.

Not satisfied, I use a mixture of paints to allow my heart to really beat alive. I step away to stare at this crazy madness. Going back to it, I take my marker and simply write, LOVE. It may not make sense, it may not be a masterpiece, but I understand it.

Turning back to the journal lying on the lounge, I pick it up to write, “All, everything that I understand, I understand only because I love.”

As soon as it came, the energy drains out of me and I am too exhausted to clean up the mess. So I wash my hands off, tiredly get into bed and as soon as my head hits the pillow, my mind is finally put to rest.










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All, everything that I understand, I understand only because I love is quoted from Leo Tolstoy.
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