Author: chanks_girl
Disclaimer: "Disclaimer: The characters of "Roswell" belong to Jason Katims, Melinda Metz, WB, and UPN. They are not mine and no infringement is intended."
Couples/Category: A&I, K&T, CC; FF
Rating: ADULT
Summary: After their trip to Vegas, the Pod Squad has the chance to go back to Antar. Ten years later, they return.
Author's Note: This story bases on the Stargazer challenge by Kzinti_ Killer. Tess is good and Alex will be alive. The main couples are A&I and K&T. Of course, Candy and Dreamer will have appearances. That's my first attempt to write a fanfic. I apologize for false grammar, just let me know and I will correct the errors.
Link to challenge:viewtopic.php?t=6226&postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=160
Intro
As the gang was in Las Vegas, things changed.
During their dance in the restaurant, Liz held tight to Max. She told him about Future Max after the whole Laurie Dupree affair. Liz never felt such a relief. The pain, the sorrow, the hurt, the betray. It seemed the weight of that secret vanished. One simple look into his amber eyes told her that everything will be alright. Step by step they will have the relationship they want. No distrust or betrayal. Just the both of them and their love, it was a new chance for them and they were willing to take that new opportunity. They were sure nothing could separate them.
After hearing what Liz told him the reason for her actions, Max felt more love for her than he thought. Max couldn’t believe her sacrifice of her own happiness to save billions of lives. He was angry with himself to put his love through this pain. He couldn’t believe how happy he was in this moment to have her in his arms. Max had the thought that nothing could separate them. Nothing on earth could apart them.
Michael watched Maria as she sang. He felt so much love for her, he- Michael “The Stonewall” Guerin- couldn’t believe that he ever could love this woman. Sure, he knew that he often screwed up and could be happy that she always returned to him. She was his everything. And he would do everything to save this love. Michael knew they could do it because they were already through so much that he would do everything in his powers to show her his love for her. He loved everything about her. He loved her temper, her outbursts and even when she yelled at him, he thought she could not be sexier. The sparkle in her eyes was all he needed. She was his woman. Period.
Maria watched her friends dancing their happy and content faces. Slowly she tilted her head and she saw the reason for happiness. She couldn’t believe that someone else than her mother and her two best friends would love her so much. He was the reason she was content. True he could be a pain in the ass but he was so damn cute when he annoyed her. She loved it when he touched her, kissed her, his way to show her how much she meant to him. Sure not everything was perfect in their relationship considering the Courtney-Affair but they found their way and now they were still on their way but their love would make it.
They were swaying to the music. Maria’s foully and smoky voice took the words to them. They looked deeply in each other’s eyes and slowly they entered their own little world but none of them realized the feelings for each other. The real feelings still were unknown to the other. They loved each other but it was family love both of them thought. They cared for the other, they were happy and that counted, right. There were no other feelings, they were like siblings and there could not be more.
Tess embraced the man she thought as a brother. There could not be more. There’d not be more. There would not be feelings that would go beyond brother-sister-love from him. She still was unsure. Since Christmas she has realized that her feelings changed regarding the men in her life. She loved one like a brother and the other not as a brother. It was more what she felt. Kyle and she had a great relationship, a platonic relationship. Time went by, the feelings started to change. A change she feared. Changes meant consequences and these consequences, she didn’t want to take. One consequence would be rejection. Would she take that risk now? Tess was too uncertain to give that thought a shot. But she found her ways to spend time with him, to have him close to her. That’s why she enjoyed such moments. Nothing could change that.
Kyle held her. In his eyes, she was so breakable, like porcelain. He loved her. It was that simple. He, a man, loved the woman who he was holding in his arms. The moment should freeze. Never letting her go. Telling her what he felt but he couldn’t. She didn’t feel the same for him. She loved another man. He was her “brother”. He was her only family. Kyle could never destroy that. He knew there could be more but the question was “Does she feel the same for me?” the fear of rejection was too big. He couldn’t handle it if she rejected him. So playing the role of the brother was his only chance to show her that he cared for her. And nothing would change that.
Like the others, they enjoyed the moment. They were swaying to music. They had little talk between their movements. They were smiling at each other. They were content in that moment. Of course, they had feeling for each other. They cared about the other but no one knew exactly how deep those feelings went. The one person did a great job in hiding that she felt more for him. On the other hand, he gave up.
Isabel always knew how he felt about her. She saw it in his dream during the heat wave as they were dancing. He told her to let him in that she didn’t need to be afraid. He saw her. That is all she ever wanted that a man could love her for who she is and not what she is. Of course, she was the Ice Princess of WRH. She belonged to the elite. Everyday she wore a façade. A façade she started to hate since she knew Alex C. Whitman. Sometimes she couldn’t believe that a boy had made it to see through her. She knew that she didn’t deserve him in her life. She knew that she treated him like a piece of shit in the summer of Destiny and afterwards. But she knew that no matter what that he would always be there for her, supporting, caring and mainly being Alex, her friend.
The time she spent with him was the best time of her life. He always made laugh, he listened to her and even sometimes, he sang songs to her. She loved going stargazing with him. Listening to his deep but smooth voice. Even his bad jokes were an addition to his fantastic character.
Isabel knew that she screwed up big time as she broke up with Alex. She wanted to be able to keep him save. Instead, she hurt him the most. Breaking up with him, keeping him at arms length and then to top it she flirted with another man in front of him; the list went on. After she told him that she didn’t want an relationship with another guy, she didn't know why she did what she did.
But it was all a façade she had to keep up. She wanted to change things but didn’t know how.
Alex always loved dancing. Especially with Isabel. Holding her tight to him. He knew it would be never the same again between them. He changed. After she broke up with him and the treatment she gave him, he just had enough. And after seeing that geologist at her birthday he definitely had enough. It hurt too much. Every time he saw her, he tried to approach her without letting his feelings getting the best of him but he couldn’t. You can change your mind but you can’t change your heart. And that was his damn problem: his heart.
Alex couldn’t take it to see her with that other guy, so he decided, he needed a change. A change of her. Leaving everything behind.
So he did.
He got the opportunity to go to Europe in a student exchange program. Staying there a month: going to school and having a host family. The chance was great and he would be stupid not to take it. Maybe he would meet a nice European girl. He went to Sweden. After the month went by, he wanted to stay longer and travel through Europe. Alex did his schoolwork via internet. So he stayed two months longer and travelled around.
Then the time came to go back to Roswell. Going back to his old life. But he wasn’t the old Alex Whitman anymore. He was not anymore the lovesick teenager who would follow her around and no more getting nervous or starting to stammer every time he would talk to her. Here he was the new Alex Whitman. A man who had confidence. It wasn’t bad that the European girls liked him. He met some girls but it was nothing serious just making out and that was it.
After his return to Roswell, he decided that he would go on with his life and stop chasing a dream. He wouldn’t stop being her friend because that was all he could give her now and nothing more. The hurt was too much before he left and would not take it anymore to be the one who got hurt.
Now they were friends. The one was content with that situation and the other wanted more but didn’t know how to fight the fear.
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CHAPTER I
April 2001
Just two weeks after their return from Las Vegas, the eight friends were all together in Michael’s apartment. Three teenagers were sitting on the couch. Two other teenagers were sitting together in the love seat. Two others were standing and leaning against the wall. Their heads bowed down to have their own private conversation. The only thing that was understandable was their mumbling. The last one of them sat on one of the bar stools near the kitchen counter.
A silence surrounded them. That kind of silence told you something was going to happen. It was the calm before the storm, all human teens thought. It was getting pretty uncomfortable and no one dared to break the silence. Only four teenagers knew what would happen soon. Life would change. Their lives would change. That thought was in their minds for a few days. Soon, just one moment would change everything. Just one moment was going to change eight lives.
Secret glances went through the room. Everyone was observing everyone.
Deep in her thoughts, she forgot every other person around her.
She knew, this is it. It was over. No sitting together, talking to each other, no stupid jokes which made her laugh. It was now that she really stopped being a teenager with a so called “normal” life. In that moment as the thought crossed her mind, she looked at the others.
* * * * * * * * * *
The two standing boys again mumbled something to each other. No expression on their faces. Just sometimes for a few seconds, they wore smiles and then the smiles faded away.
He looked at the others. Then he looked at her, they were gazing into each other’s eyes for just a few seconds. Their eyes locked for a few seconds but it felt like minutes. He had this calm in his eyes and she had the truth in hers. Then she realized what had happened. It would always happen with him and no one else.
He knew. In this moment, he knew what was going on. Her eyes told him. It would always been her eyes which tell him what she feels and what was going on with her. He knew.
He would always know. Knowing everything. Knowing her. He knows you, she thought.
Then the silence disappeared. The silence which gave her time. The silence which presented a change. And suddenly the silence broke.
“You are leaving”, he stated in a nonchalant voice which rang to the other persons and all eyes were on him.
Alex said the words. The words Max, Michael, Tess and Isabel couldn’t say. He did. Why Alex, only one person knew. Isabel.
Well, everyone would expect a bombardment of questions but it was a silence that enveloped the teenagers. Nothing. It was just that moment as the words left his lips and his voice reached the others. A few minutes passed until someone said anything.
“Yeah, we’re going to leave to Antar.” Max confirmed. His voice full of sadness for leaving the ones he loved.
“When?”, was the only word Liz could choke out. The lump in her throat got bigger with each second passed.
Michael was the one to answer the question,” We will leave tomorrow night. Well, the Granolith is a space ship and we are able to use it so…we are going back to our home planet. And….” He stopped talking as he looked at Maria. His pixie girl. As he saw she was on the edge of tears, he hugged her closer to his body. He wished this moment could last, just holding her and nothing else.
He wished he could stay with her but he couldn’t.
Maria looked up at him. A small but sad smile on her lips “Michael, be careful so you can come back to me.” was all she could whisper before the tears started to fall. She knew this day would come. She knew and she hated it that now he had to go. Now that they were doing fine. Everything was good and then the Alien Abyss got the best of them.
“I will”, was all that Michael could whisper and hold Maria tight to his body. He hoped that she would feel the love that he felt for her. He just hoped.
“How do you know that it will bring you to your home planet?” asked Liz.
“The coordinates are programmed. You know, our people always hoped that we’ll come back one day. So, now we have the opportunity and we will take it. We have to. For our people. To free Antar from Khivar. We have to give the Antarians their lives back and a future. We are the Royal Four and it is our duty to be there.” Max said in an emotional voice, trying very to convince himself that it was the right thing to do. And with Liz in his arms it was even harder to stay strong.
They let Max’ words sank in. They were leaving it was that simple, thought every human teen. They were not only leaving the planet but also their lives. They were also leaving their families and friends behind.
“How were you all able to find your way to …hmm... your planet? And …and my second question is for how long did you know you can ..go?” Kyle asked the hybrids. He looked at every one of them. He still needed to understand what happened and would soon happen. Kyle looked at Alex who was standing next to him leaning against the wall. A calm expression crossed his facial features.
“Since three days.”was the response coming from Isabel. She said in a low calming voice. She never spoke with that voice and suddenly she did. She wanted to be strong, she needed to be strong. Isabel’s would never be the same and she accepted.
“Well, to answer your second question”, she continued with more control over her voice, ”Nasedo had all the time a translation of the Alien book. I think, you know the book. Uh, last week Tess went to her old home to look if she needed some things of her old stuff. And as she also searched through Nasedo’s stuff again and then Tess found it: the translation of the Alien book. The book contains our whole life, the reason we had been send and so on and on.”
They were leaving.
“So we still have twenty-four hours, almost. I’d suggest we make the best of it. We all know that this is a lot to take in and …God, that is so hard. I hope someday we will sit together again. I think, I speak for everyone of us you are the best what happened in our lives. I .. we will cherish every moment and memory we have.” Tess said to their human friends.
It was hard to describe what or how she felt. Just slowly, emptiness developed inside of her. She was going to lose her family. The first real family she had. And she was losing him.
Kyle was losing her. She was leaving him. It doesn’t matter how often he turn it around, in the end he would be alone like always. First his mother, than Liz and now Tess. She meant too much for him and she would go away from him. Kyle knew that he loved her. He wished there have been more but the fear of rejection was too big.
He watched her. He had always watched. He locked his gaze with hers. It would be the last time for a long time.
“Look the whole situation fucking sucks but we should do the best we can.”
That was the only thing Alex could say.
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It was time. It was time to leave. The night was chilly, more than usual. The eight teens stood in front of the Pod chamber. It was the way how everyone of them felt. The missing part made them feel less. As if life would be suck out of them. The pain started to take over.
Max held Liz in his arms. She clung to him as if he was her lifetime. Liz couldn’t believe that they got back together, they were going to be separated. He was leaving. He was a king. Liz didn’t really know how to feel. She felt numb. It felt as if her heart stopped. It felt as if everything in her life had ended. Her tears came. And she couldn’t How could her life go on? How could she go on? Time would show.
Max hated this feeling. He hated the feeling that he didn’t know what to do. Losing control. He was losing Liz.
All he ever wanted was Liz. He had her back but this time he was leaving. It was the same spot as she left last summer after hearing his mother’s message and their Destiny. Max didn’t know what to expect on Antar. He only knew life and love on Earth. He knew she would wait for him. He hoped to return as soon as possible one day. Then he would have the life he always wanted. It would be Max and Liz again. He would hold her in his arms for the rest of his life. They will be together again.
Michael was never a person who showed his emotions but now and here, he didn’t care. He held Maria tight in his arms. He whispered her soothing words in her ear. Michael wanted to take the pain away but he knew that it wasn’t one of his abilities.
Back on Antar, he would be the warrior. Once in his former life, he was a warrior and now in his life he was going to be a warrior. It did not matter that he wasn’t ready. He had to be.
She cried in his arms and the only thing he could do was to hold Maria. He held her to show her that she was this special woman in his life; he loved her.
She clung to him. Truth betold, she wanted him to stay but he found what he always wanted: a way home. But where would it leave Michael and Maria? Maria hoped and prayed that he would return to her. What to could she do when the day would come? She loved him. She needed him as he needed her. Maria was scared for Michael, for her and for the other members of the Pod Squad. She was afraid. Maybe it was here the last time that she saw him. There were so many thoughts that she had to force herself pushing theme away and cherish the last moments with Michael Guerin.
Kyle was going to lose a part of his little family. Tess was more than family to him. The first time he saw her, he was attracted to her. In his eyes, she had that something that made a woman so appealing. Her eyes, her smile, her humour. He could talk with her and to her. She understood him. She was his ray of hope that a woman could love him but even she was going to leave him. Kyle Valenti was in love with Tess Harding and she would never know. There were too many emotions he felt and he was keeping them to himself.
Tess didn’t know what was wrong with her. She felt a tight pain in her chest when she thought about leaving her Valenti-Men. For a year she knew them and almost nine months she lived with them under the same roof. But for a short time everything changed. She felt more. She felt more for him. Kyle became from a potential big brother to an attractive boy who got her attention. It was the dance they shared in Las Vegas and for a very long time she was happy and content. He made Roswell her home. But it was impossible to admit that she liked him a lot. It couldn’t be. It shouldn’t be.
It was over. And both knew it. No one knew how long they would be go. If there was a way to come back.
Isabel didn’t know what to think. She didn’t know how to feel. She hoped that one day that they were able to get home. But where was home? Was it on Earth with Diane and Philipp Evans? Was it on a planet she didn’t know? It was too hard to think about it. The only answer she had was that she was leaving her family to be with another family. She was leaving. She was leaving him. Isabel knew that she wouldn’t see Alex Whitman for a long time. She already left Alex a long time ago but not to see his smiling face hurt too much. Alex was always there for her. He listened to her but she did nothing for him. He was her friend although she wanted more but she couldn’t. Her insecurities got the best of her. The fear of becoming Vilandra got the best of her. The fear of betraying pushed her too far and in the end, she hurt the one she loved. Isabel caused him pain. Her insecurities provided her from a happy life with the man she wanted. Never stopped loving him. But it was too much for her to see that a human being could feel so much love for her. It scared her. And now, here she was standing right at the place where she was “born” and here she was going to leave standing at the place where a part of her was going to die.
Isabel stole little glances at Alex. She loved everything about him. It was his humour, his compassion, his love, his smile and his eyes and more. She loved his eyes. They always showed what he felt. How she longed to just being in his arms and he would telling her that everything would be all right. It was a longing she would always feel.
Alex stood next to Kyle. He observed his surroundings. He observed the two couples in front of him. He knew he didn’t have that and a sadness washed over him. He wanted to be able to tell Isabel that everything will be alright but how.
Even he didn’t know what would expect them. He loved her once as he was watching her from afar. He loved her again as he learned who she really was. As she showed him herself, as she had let him in. Now he was her friend. It was enough, it really was. What else could he do? It was too hard to love her so he stopped, so he left and now she was leaving. Isabel would be in his heart forever but he wanted a life for him. He didn’t want the pain, the heartache and he didn’t want to be hurt again. He didn’t want it. He realized it a long time ago. Isabel Evans was going to leave and he let her.
“It is time that we go if we stay here longer it will get harder to let go. I just wanted to say you are my family and that I will miss you. I really hope that one day we will come back and meet again.,” said Michael to the group of friends. The reality crashed down on them. They said good byes. The human boys instructed the hybrid boys to take care of the girls and Alex and Kyle were instructed to take care of Liz and Maria. The girls did the same. They exchanged their hugs (even the boys), a few words were exchanged. And then it was time. With one final look at their friends the four aliens entered the Pod chamber. The remaining four human teens climbed down the mountain. Alex held Liz and Kyle held Maria. Both boys couldn’t stop the tears which their female friends cried but they were there for them.
It was five minutes later after climbing down the way to the chamber that the granolith took off.
She’s gone.
Well, we have to wait until we get an happy Gazer ending. Alex had to suffer a lot and after losing your wife it takes time to open up to someone.
