I Can't Love You [M/L; Adult] Completed 01/18

[guelbebek]

Hey guys! Sorry for the delay, just posting and running, thanks for the wonderful feedback i love to hear from you, and hope you like this part. i know all of you have your thoughts of the secret, and soon you'll know for sure what it is.

bye guel



Chapter 31

Maria is laughing at me.

I hate her.

“You really did this?”

I ignore her.

We walk into the college cafeteria.

We both have two classes today, and we’ve just finished one class.

We’re going to eat lunch and then go to the next.

“Liz, I can’t believe it. He has to been so pissed.”

He wasn’t pissed.

Hurt.

Mortified.

But not pissed.

“Michael would kill me.”

Yesterday I asked Max to take off his shorts.

He asked me if I was sure.

I said yes.

When I saw him, I panicked.

He was so…huge.

I bit my lower lip.

But it didn’t work.

He was too huge for my eyes.

So I lay down on my other side.

Right then all I wanted was to sleep, even though I was naked and he was too.

It took me a while to take off all of my clothes.

Max didn’t touch me anymore either.

I heard him put his shorts on, stand up and get something ready for his shift.

He didn’t look at me anymore.

Maybe he really was pissed.

I glance at Maria and she’s still smiling.

I frown. In the morning he kissed me on my temple before he went to the hospital.

Hopefully everything is okay between us.

When we get home, Michael’s car is already there.

It’s strange.

He wanted to leave the house an hour after us to work so he shouldn’t be home already.

We enter Maria’s apartment.

We hear voices.

I hear two voices.

I turn around.

Run out of the house.

Maria cries out for me.

I don’t stop.

I run until I can’t breathe, and when I stop, I see that they didn’t follow me.

What do they want here?

I have a good life.

I have Maria and Michael.

I have Max.

He loves me and I love him.

My parents were in the living room.

What should I do?

What do they want from me?

I can’t go back.

Max isn’t allowed to get to know them.

He isn’t allowed to know about it.

I decide to go to him. He’s at the hospital.

I ask after him at the front desk.

“Who are you?”

“I’m his girlfriend.”

I smile weakly.

My parents are in Seattle.

Maybe she’s here, too.

My smile disappears.

Oh god.

She says Max left already.

What should I do now?

I get more panicked.

I have to go home before it gets dark.

I walk through the city.

Always on main streets.

No short cuts.

I stand in front of our house an hour later.

I want to stay here forever.

With Max.

My life should stay normal.

It gets darker.

Maybe I can sneak up to the second floor without them seeing me?

I open the door silently.

I tiptoe to the second floor.

I enter the apartment with a relieved sigh.

Max is waiting for me.

He looks at me angrily.

He shouts.

He shouts for the first time.

I wanted to prevent it.

I knew it would end like this.

I want to turn around.

I can’t look into his eyes.

He definitely knows it. He knows everything.

He pulls me into his arms.

I can feel him trembling.

I can feel his small sighs and sobs.

Max is 26 years old and I’ve pushed him to tears.

“Where have you been? I died of worry.”

That’s it.

Because of this he’s angry.

Not because of my parents.

“I’m sorry.”

He nods.

He takes my face in his hands and looks at me carefully to make sure I’m really okay.

“God, Liz, don’t do this again. Never again.”

That’s not the first time I was out.

I don’t get it.

Is it because I ran away?

What is worrying him so much?

“I thought I would never see you again.”

I know what he’s thinking.

I can see it in his eyes.

He believed I would hurt myself.

He thought I might commit suicide.

How could I?

If I did, I wouldn’t see him ever again.

He thinks it’s because of my parents.

He thinks I can’t survive it.

He’s wrong.

I can see my parents.

That’s no problem.

But…

“Liz, your parents worried, too. They are downstairs, don’t you want to go downstairs with me?”

I don’t answer.

I press my wet face against his shirt.

I didn’t even notice that I was crying.

“Liz, they are waiting for you. They said it was very important, it is about life and death.”

My eyes go wide.

Is one of them sick?

Both?

Will my mother die?

Or maybe my father?

I know I have to go to them.

But I don’t want to do it now.

I want to sleep with Max by my side.

“Liz, it will be okay. I’ll be always with you.”

I don’t believe him.

I have my reasons.

He’ll regret his words.

He’ll regret everything with me.

“Will you hold my hand?”

A whisper.

He kisses me on my forehead and then he makes a promise:

“Always, Liz. Always.”

[guelbebek]

I'm posting and running guys, but im so thankful for your feedback. 8parts to go still and then its over

bye guel



Chapter 32

“Hello, Liz.”

It’s my father.

I stand a little bit behind Max.

I clutch his hand, and I bite my lower lip.

Without Max, I wouldn’t make it.

Maria looks at me concerned.

“Liz!”

My mother hugs me fiercely.

Max doesn’t let go of my hand so I hug her back with the one arm I have free.

I see the gaze of my father travel down from my face.

He looks at Max’s and mine joined hands.

He smiles at me.

He seems to be happy for me.

“I missed you so much. You never called us back,” my mother cries.

Max looks at me.

“It’s okay,” I say slowly, but she cries even harder.

“You’re my only daughter, Liz.”

Michael looks at us confused.

He asks Maria something, quietly.

I know what he wants to know.

“And who are you?”

That’s typical for my father.

“Max Evans.”

Max holds his hand out.

I cling to his left arm, forcing my father to cross the room to come to us.

My mother looks between Max and Michael.

“You are the brother of Michael?”

Max nods.

They smile at each other.

My parents are very nice.

Maria announces she wants to makes us coffee, and Michael follows her saying he’s going to prepare dinner.

“How are you doing, Liz?”

My Mom.

She’s on my left side.

Max’s on the right side.

“Good.”

How else should I answer?

She has her hand on my knee, and we talk.

About college, Seattle, Maria’s slowly growing belly.

But not about New York.

I’m wondering when they’ll talk about it.

They didn’t come without a reason.

Max’s eyes are looking into mine, asking me silently if he can leave me alone.

I nod.

He goes to set the table.

Maria’s helping Michael.

And now we’re alone.

This is it, this is why I am so afraid.

“Liz, you have to come with us.”

My father goes first.

He sounds really serious.

“You know, I can’t.”

My mother starts to cry.

“Liz, she’s still so small.”

“I can’t!” I shout out.

I stand up.

I can’t listen to this.

Max comes into the living room, and he watches us.

“Liz, you’re 21 years old. You have to take responsibility.”

I can’t even take responsibility for myself.

“Dad, it’s not the right time.”

“When is it the right time?”

Maria comes in too, and she has tears in her eyes.

She warned me.

She said someday they’ll come.

“Ally needs you.“

Max looks confused.

He knows I don’t have any siblings, so he might be asking himself who Allyson is.

His eyes are looking directly into mine, the one way I cannot lie to him.

I hope everything will be okay.

My parents aren’t allowed to destroy this.

I love Max.

“Don’t you love her at all?”

I push my hands over my ears.

I can’t protest because I have learned how to love.

I love Max.

Max.

But not Allyson.

I bite down on my lower lip.

I taste the blood.

“Liz, she needs a kidney!” my father cries.

“The money we wanted from you was for her therapy. It didn’t work. Now, she needs a kidney, Liz. You can donate one; your mother and I don’t match.”

Stop it.

Stop it.

I walk up and down.

I cover my ears, but I can still hear them.

I see Michael has come in here too.

He’s always thought Allyson was my sister.

He never really asked.

I look at Max.

He’s thinking.

Soon, he’s going to figure it out.

“I can’t!”

The night.

The man.

The rape.

It left wounds behind.

I can’t bear it.

I cry like never before.

Max doesn’t come to me.

He’s too confused.

He wants the truth.

“Stop it, don’t you see what you’re doing to her.”

Maria, my best friend. I can always count on her.

“You should go, now.” Michael says.

He’s a good guy.

He’ll be a perfect father.

Poor Allyson has no father.

“Maria, Ally will turn six this year. She’ll die before then if Liz doesn’t come with us now. Ally maybe doesn’t matter to her, but she does to me, she’s my only granddaughter.”

Max adds one and one.

I’m the only daughter of the Parkers.

So who else could be Allyson’s mother?

I feel the blood heating up in my veins.

My heart pounds.

I have to vomit, and the last time I even did that was a long time ago, right when I met Max.

I don’t make it into the bathroom.

I throw up on Maria’s living room carpet.

Michael brings me a moist cloth.

I try to calm down.

But it doesn’t work.

I want Max.

I want him to hold me, to whisper in my ear that everything will be alright.

I knew it would turn out this way.

He’ll think I’m disgusting.

A mother who doesn’t love her daughter, who never saw her after giving birth.

That kind of mother is a bad person.

I’ve repeated this to myself often.

And although I don’t deserve him, I need him so much.

“Your parents left, Liz,” Maria whispers.

Michael hugs me in his strong arms.

I feel so weak and I numbly wonder, why not Max, where is he?

Michael carries me to their bed.

They cover me with a blanket.

The only thing I can think about is Max.

I recognize now I love him more than I do my own life.

Because he showed me what life means.

“Where is Max?”

I don’t recognize my own voice, broken and soft, again.

Maria cries.

“He left, Liz”, she explains.

I push my face into the pillow.

“When?”

“Right before you threw up.”

“I want to be alone.”

“Liz…”

“Please.”

I want to cry.

Shout, Maria, but please, no pity.

It’s my own fault.

I should have told him before.

Maria is coming in and out all of the time, looking after me.

I can’t sleep.

Every time I look at her with a questioning gaze.

She shakes her head every time.

Max isn’t coming back.

Maybe he’s visiting Amy with the big breasts?

Or maybe Trish?

Maybe now he’s looking for a real woman.

Every men needs sex.

He wants a woman who doesn’t have a child already.

One who wasn’t raped.

I cry more and more.

Maria leaves me a sleep pill on the dresser.

But I don’t need it.

I cry myself into sleep.

[guelbebek]

Thanks for the wonderful feedback Here is the next part, i have this translated till 37 and now three are left. Here is the next part, hope you all like

Rowedog
dreamer19
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raemac
ShatteredDreamer
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Erina
Emz80m
Pinkslipper
LoveIsForever
Nz_Roswell
Gater101


Chapter 33

The window is shadowed because somebody is standing in front of it.

It’s Max.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

I thought he wouldn’t come to me any more.

I don’t answer.

“Liz, answer me.”

He’s not rough.

He’s soft, pleading.

Still like always, doesn’t he hate me?

Doesn’t he feel disgusted?

I look at him.

I can’t see his face because from the way he stands in front of the window, the shadow hinders my view.

I can only see black.

I sit up.

I feel sick suddenly and I run to the bathroom.

I throw up.

Max doesn’t help me.

He isn’t holding my hair back.

I get back.

I think he looks worried, but maybe I’m just imagining it.

“Are you okay?”

“I couldn’t tell you the truth.”

“Why?”

“Because I wanted to prevent this.”

I sit down on the bed.

I feel so weak.

Thoughts of Allyson are torturing me.

I have to help her, but I can’t.

She’s the daughter of my rapist.

And then she’s also mine.

God, what should I do?

“Liz, why did you want to keep this from me? Did you think that I’d be furious because you didn’t tell me?”

He stops and comes closer to me, and says softly, “That’s the reason why I am angry, because you never said a word.”

“I didn’t want to lose you.”

I start to cry again.

What should I do?

I can’t be a mother.

And I’m not even available to be a good girlfriend.

Max sinks down to the ground in front of me, he looks into my eyes.

“What are you talking about?”

So soft. So loving.

“I became a mother because I was raped. I knew you would leave me if you learned the truth.”

“Liz, you know nothing.”

His eyes are glistening.

He pulls me down to the ground, and into his lap, into his arms.

“I didn’t want you to think I was leaving you. I was just confused.”

I don’t hug him back.

I can’t.

I’m still afraid he’ll leave me.

And if I hug him now it will be much harder to let him go.

“I’ll never leave you. You should know this by now.”

I raise my arms and I put them around his back slowly.

I feel him trembling, but he isn’t crying.

“I’m so sorry you had to go through all this shit alone. But now you have me. I will be on your side wherever you’ll be. I’ll help you in every way I can and together we’ll help Allyson.”

He’s already accepted her.

After a few hours, he’s accepted my daughter.

I couldn’t even do that until years after I had her, and even now I can’t.

“B-but she’s the daughter of…of…”

“Shhh, she’s your daughter.”

He wipes away my tears and brushes my hair out of my face.

Then he kisses me.

He’s such a wonderful person.

I couldn’t stand seeing Allyson.

I never felt like she was mine.

And Max?

He doesn’t judge me.

He wants to help her.

I cry a while.

Max picks me up and lays me down on the bed.

He lies down next to me, looks into my eyes, and strokes my cheeks.

He’ll ask questions, and this time, I have to answer them.

What happended?

Why didn’t you get an abortion, when you couldn’t bear to see or have her?

Because my grandmother didn’t want it.

After the rape I was in shock.

I couldn’t decide if I would keep the baby or not.

I didn’t talk then and they couldn’t ask me.

I was in the psychiatric ward for as long I was pregnant.

“When and how did you came to Seattle?”

After the birth.

After the birth my mind came back to me.

I didn’t want the baby, and I didn’t even want to hold or see it.

My grandmother was understanding.

But my parents weren’t.

They loved Allyson from her birth.

They said she looked just like me in a smaller body.

“Dou you transfer the money to her all the time?”

I nod.

“Didn’t you ever see her after you gave birth to her?”

It’s not an accusation, but just a question.

And still I feel so bad.

Sobs are racking my body, my chest, my arms, and I cling to him.

“It’s okay, Liz. It wasn’t your fault.“

How can he say this?

I know I’m guilty.

However he tries to calm me down.

“Max, over five years of not seeing her doesn’t make a mother.”

He consoles me, whispering words of love in my ear.

“It’s never too late, Liz. Do you want to help her now by being a mother?”

What should I do when I recognize his face in her, when I always have to think about the rape each time I hold her?

What should I do, when I’m not available to love her because I’m thinking of all of these things?

I bury my face in his neck.

I don’t want to think about it now.

I want my old life.

I’m such an egoist..

Max wanted to stay here.

He has a few more years before he finishes his education.

We’ve already talked about it.

And now?

Allyson is in New York.

New York.

I bite down on my lower lip.

If I want to be with her, I have to leave Max.

I don’t want to.

I want them both.

I love Max.

But then Allyson is my daughter.

“Your parents are coming for lunch.”

I nod.

He strokes my back.

“I’ll buy us tickets for the evening.”

I can only nod.

“What about Maria?”

I want my best friend with me.

“Michael has to stay here and Maria should stay here too. It’s not healthy to fly pregnant but if you urgently want…”

I put my finger on his lips.

He’s hurt.

He thinks he is not enough.

He’s more than enough.

I give him a kiss, and put Maria out of my mind.

“You are with me. That’s everything I want.”

He smiles.

Kisses me on the tip of my nose.

“I should shower.”

I really need one to clear my mind.

He strokes my belly.

“Shall I come with you?”

My eyes go wide.

He says it was only a joke.

He peppers my face with kisses.

“Liz, never ever think again I would let you down, do you hear me?”

My eyes fill with tears.

“Liz, don’t cry.”

I shake my head.

“I won’t cry,” I answer.

But soon I start crying again.

“Liz, I love you.”

Now the tears run down my cheeks.

He hugs me.

“Hug me, tighter,” I whisper.

And he does.

I love you too, Max.

But I can’t say it to you, yet.

[guelbebek]

I'm sorry guys! I know get on your nerves with my lack of time to update! I work and then there war the engagement of my cousin and the other one is her wedding planning! I'll miss my time with them.

So here the next part now. Thanks for the wonderful feedback and welcome to new readers.

bye guel


Chapter 34

The flight wasn’t too long.

We’re driving home.

My parents are in the front.

I lean on Max.

He holds me tight.

In a few minutes I’ll see her.

The small girl.

They say she looks just like me.

Laughs like me.

They also say she’s very clever, will be a good student.

Max calms me today.

Without him I wouldn’t make it.

We enter the house.

Amy’s house.

Allyson slept over here while my parents were in Seattle.

It’s late.

My parents say that Allyson is surely already asleep.

I’m glad.

First I want to watch her.

I’m not ready to talk with her.

Amy greets us at the door.

And a small girl pushs her head out from behind her back, right between Amy’s legs and the door.

I place my hand over my mouth.

Max is holding me upright.

Allyson runs away.

Into the living room.

Tears are running down my cheeks.

She has curly brown hair.

She looks like me.

But smaller.

I didn’t have to think about the rape.

Not at all.

The only thing I feel is happiness.

Happiness.

“Are you okay?”

I nod.

Max is worrying.

He can’t see how I feel.

I feel good.

Comfortable.

I never imagined it like this.

“Why did she run away?”

My voice is small, cracking.

“She recognized you.”

My mother.

She looks sadly at me.

“She knows who I am?”

My father nods.

He enfolds me in his arms.

“We showed her pictures from you all the time.”

I can’t stop my tears.

“But I was away for such a long time. She’ll hate me.”

Amy shakes her head.

My mother is now also crying.

“No, she won’t,” my father says.

He’s the only one who can talk right now.

Max stands besides me.

His eyes glisten.

“We told her that you have to study and will be back as soon as you can. She waited every day and now you’re here.”

I can’t believe it.

I can’t believe that Allyson waited so long without hating me.

She’s just a kid.

I carefully enter the living room.

“Ally?”

My voice is trembling.

She stands up.

She’s so small.

So innocent.

So beautiful.

“Mommy?”

Oh God.

My heart is pounding.

She called me Mommy.

“Yes, Ally, it’s me.”

I smile.

And cry.

I sink down to my knees

What did I do?

The last five years.

What have I done?

She runs into my arms.

I hug her tightly.

I cry.

I sob.

I smell her.

She reminds me of my home.

She is my home.

“Mommy, why are you crying?”

She pushs away my tears.

“I’m crying because I missed you so.”

The words are flowing by themselves.

It isn’t hard to talk with her anymore.

With my daughter.

“But now we’re together,” she says.

She talks with me as if she knows me.

She accepts me.

I’ve denied her for so long.

And she just accepts me.

She’s my daughter.

My little daughter.

“Mommy, will you stay here now?”

I don’t want to lie to her.

“Although I’m not staying here, Ally, I want to take you with me when I go. Do you want to come with me?”

Her eyes shine.

She nods quickly.

Hugs me tightly.

She’s so small.

So soft.

“Children should be with their parents, shouldn’t they?” she asks innocently.

She smiles.

I place kisses all over her face.

“Yes, my sweetie. They belong with their parents.”

How could I leave her alone for such a long time?

“I love you, Mommy,”

“I love you, too, Ally. I love you so much.”

Finally I said it.

I waited for this.

Ally lets me go.

“Can I hug Grandma and Grandpa?”

“Of course, go.”

My parents are behind me.

Ally hugs them both.

Amy is at the door.

Watches us with a smile.

I cry all the time.

Where is Max?

“Max?”

“He’s in the hall.”

“Ally, I’ll be back in a second.”

She nods.

I walk to the floor.

Max leans against the wall.

I stop in front of him.

Place my arms on his sides.

“What is it?” I ask him.

He strokes away my tears.

“I just wanted to give you time together.”

He sounds…sad?

Is it…

No, I won’t doubt him.

“Talk to me.”

“Liz, it’s nothing.”

“Max…”

He lies.

I know it.

He knows it.

“It’s just…you have now Allyson. A wonderful daughter who loves you. I don’t know if I fit in your live anymore.”

“What do you think about her?”

“She’s unbelievingly beautiful, loving, and so small. She’s the sweetest child I ever saw.”

He adores her.

And he just saw her for a moment.

I place my face on his chest and hug him.

“Don’t you want to hug me?”

My voice trembles.

I’m afraid.

Afraid of him leaving me.

He places his arms around me.

Holds me tightly to his body.

I hear their voices.

Ally asks about the vacation.

How was it in Seattle?

Is it pretty there?

How is Aunt Maria doing?

Even Maria knew her.

She saw her a few times, when she was visiting her mother.

“Max, I love you.”

His heart is beating quicker.

He pushes me a little bit away.

“Liz, if you aren’t sure…”

“Max, I love you.”

I’m sure.

I know it.

He kisses me.

Holds me tight again.

He licks my lips.

And I open them willingly.

“Mommy?”

We jump.

We look at the small girl.

“Is this my Daddy?”

[guelbebek]

Hey guys! Im really sorry for the late posting, thanks to all of you for the wonderful feedback. Hope you like this part, too. I have to run, but im coming back to read your hopefully coming feedback

EDIT:
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and the lurkers if there are any


bye guel


Chapter 35

What should I do?

She saw us kissing.

Max takes my hand.

I look up at him confused.

“Hello, Allyson.”

He squeezes my hand.

Lets go.

Then he kneels down on his knees.

He’s a doctor.

He knows how to earn the trust of kids.

Eyes on the same level.

“Hello.”

She sounds shy.

“Are you my Daddy?”

I hold my breath.

How should I explain it to her?

How should I say to her that I don’t know her father?

I can’t do this to her.

My parents are behind her.

Why aren’t they saying anything?

Why don’t they help us with the answer?

Max looks at me.

He has tears in his eyes.

He forms an ‘I love you’.

I smile.

He looks at Ally.

“Ally, come here.”

She makes a few steps towards us.

“Are you my Daddy?”

The second time.

“Yes, honey, I’m your father.”

My mother places her hand on her mouth.

I get sick.

I run into the bathroom.

Amy comes and gets me.

She says everybody is in the living room.

Ally didn’t hug Max, she says.

But she kissed him on his cheek.

And he cried.

She knows because a tear escaped his eye and it ran down his face.

I go back.

Ally is sitting on Max’ lap.

She’s half asleep.

It’s already late.

Her head leans on his shoulder.

He strokes the soft hair on her head.

Talks with my parents.

They seem to have accepted it.

But I can’t.

Max can’t do this.

I can’t let him throw his life away.

“We should go home.”

That’s my father.

We say goodbye to Amy.

She hugs me.

She’s happy that I’m finally here.

My parents made my room into Ally’s.

Max lays her down on her bed.

They leave me alone with her.

For a few minutes I just watch her.

I wish Max was really her father.

I wish we could be a normal family.

“Liz, I made the guestroom ready.”

My mother is nice and still crying.

We say goodnight to each other.

We have to stay up early.

Go to the hospital.

Make tests.

Max waits for me as I take a shower.

He showered when I was talking to my parents.

They showed me pictures of Allyson’s childhood.

“Liz, we have to talk.”

“Why did you do this?”

He points to his lap.

I bite down at my lower lip.

“Please.”

I sit down on his lap.

He enfolds me in his arms.

Kisses me on my naked shoulder.

I’m wearing a top.

“Liz, I want to be her father.”

Butterflies are in my belly.

“I wish she was really my daughter.”

He lowers his gaze.

Because his eyes get sad.

“Max?”

I push up his face.

“In that moment, when I saw both of you together, I knew I wanted to spend my life with you.”

I stroke his wet hair.

“Max…”

“No, wait.”

I nod.

He holds me tighter.

“I wish she was my child, but she isn’t. But Liz, will you let me be her father though? I love her already now and I don’t want to separate from you…from the both of you.”

I cry.

I cry often, but I can’t change it.

“Max…”

“Liz, just say if you want this or not.”

I say nothing.

Of course I want it.

“I’ll love her like my own child. Someday when we have more children, it won’t make a difference. Liz, Ally will be special forever.”

He has tears in his eyes.

He pleads with me.

To let him be the father of my child.

A child out of a rape.

I loop my arms around him.

He’s such a good man.

He lays me down on the bed.

Kisses me softly on my lips.

“I’ll love you forever, Liz.”

I close my eyes.

He lays down behind me.

Spoons me.

Strokes me side.

He knows my answer.

He knows me.

“I’ll make you happy.”

Then I can go to Mrs Madison.

Now I’m really happy.

“Mommy? Daddy?”

It’s Ally, standing at the door.

In her too big pyjamas.

I sit up.

“What is it, Ally?” I ask her softly.

“Can I sleep with you?“

Tears fill my eyes.

“Of course.”

I would want nothing more than this.

She comes to us.

Climbs into the bed.

Max lies still behind me.

I don’t know how to lay down.

“I also want Daddy; can’t I lie between you two?”

Of course you can.

My only daughter, lovely daughter.

Max loosens his grip on me.

Ally lies down between us.

She wishes us a good night.

Kisses Max on his cheek and then me.

She lies down with her face to me.

After a few seconds Max opens his mouth.

I couldn’t talk, too.

My throat was closed.

“Thank you, Liz. Thank you for this wonderful present.”

He lays down, his arms over us both.

Satisfied, he closes his eyes.

I follow him into sleep.

[guelbebek]

Thanks to everyone! Im sorry for the delay, i just wanted to wait till Lauren posted me chapter 37 back. I'm sorry that this is taking me longer to finish as it was planned. Now I only have three parts to translate, becasue this story has 40. And I hope that i can get them done soon, so i will be able to past weekly again.

Hope you like

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Chapter 36

They took a tube full of blood from me, and since they were also doing other tests, I got to stay in one of the beds.

If I am a match, then they’ll operate immediately.

Allyson urgently needs a kidney.

The doctor asks me if he should explain every risk to me, but I say no.

“Just save my daughter.”

Ally goes to the café with my parents.

Max stays and he and I talk quietly in my room.

“Do you really want this?”

He rolls his eyes.

“Liz, how often are you planning to ask me?”

We talk about our situation.

I want him to be sure.

He should never regret what he’s doing now.

Maria calls.

She’s happy for us.

Says that Max is the perfect father.

I laugh over her words.

I’ve been laughing the whole morning.

Ally brings me laughter.

I feel happy.

The doctor comes back.

I’m a match; better, my kidney is a match.

We’ll stay here overnight, and in the morning they will operate.

“I’ll also stay here,” Max says.

My parents are back.

My mother smiles.

They love Max.

My mother think he’ll be a wonderful father.

“Where do you want to sleep?”

I don’t want him to go but he has no bed.

He smiles at me.

I shake my head.

He doesn’t want to sleep with me, does he?

In an hospital?

“Daddy can sleep with me.”

Ally is happy.

Her bed will be here in a few minutes.

We wanted to share a room.

I have to share Max from now on.

He takes her in his arms, and kisses her on the nose.

She laughs, tries to get away.

Then he rubs his stubble against her.

“Daddy! That hurts.”

I love my life.

The last time I thought anything like this was a long time ago.

But I love my life.

I can go to Mrs. Madison now.

I’m happy.

I watch Max with Ally, and Ally with Max.

They’re lying in her bed.

May has Ally on his chest.

I can’t sleep.

They look so cute I can’t close my eyes.

When Allyson falls asleep, Max looks at me and smiles.

He kisses her on her forehead and carefully gets up.

He comes to me and grins. “Make space for me.”

I slide to the side and let him under my blanket.

“How are you?” he asks me.

Very well.

“Well.”

I fear the operation a little bit.

But as long as my parents and Max are on my side, I feel good.

I still have to talk to my parents.

We haven’t had a real discussion yet.

Allyson’s health is more important.

“Liz, where do you want to live?”

An important question.

I study in Seattle.

Allyson lives in New York.

My parents live in New York.

They have a small restaurant.

Now they don’t need to work.

I have enough money.

Maybe they would come to Seattle?

Amy would want to come.

I can’t answer because I don’t know which one to go with.

“Liz?”

I shake my shoulders.

“Do you want to stay in Seattle?”

Yes.

I don’t want to stay in New York.

“Allyson could go to school in Seattle,” I suggest.

She’s starting this summer, so she could start here.

Max smiles and kisses me on my forehead.

“Then Seattle it is.”

“What would I do without you…”

Max puts his finger on my mouth.

“You’ll never be without me again.”

“Max…”

“Shhh…you have done already enough alone. Let me take care of everything from now on.”

I get tears in my eyes.

Why do I cry so much?

“No, Liz.”

He laughs.

“Please don’t cry again.”

I beat him against his shoulder.

I have to laugh, too, because it’s amazing. We have come so far, I have come so far.

He kisses me.

Breathless. Soft. Wonderful.

He kisses me until I calm down again and my cheeks are dry.

“When is Maria coming?”

I feel his heart.

My face is on his chest, my hand under his shirt.

I make circles around his navel.

When I notice it, I stop, but a few minutes later, I catch myself doing it again.

“She’s flying in early tomorrow. She wants to be here when we wake up.”

“Hmm…”

He kisses my hair.

”Do you think the apartment will be enough for when Ally comes to stay with us?”

He’s planning for the future when I can only think about tomorrow.

Hopefully everything will be all right.

Hopefully my daughter will get better and be okay.

I look at her and she looks wonderful.

She’s on her side, facing us. One hand is under her face and the other clutches the pillow. I love her.

“We have three rooms,” I say to Max.

“Yes, but they are all occupied.”

Doesn’t he want me to live in his room?

I say nothing.

I’m afraid of his answer, maybe he really doesn’t want it?

“Liz?”

I don’t answer.

“Are you asleep?”

“No,” I say quietly.

“Talk to me; what is it?”

I shift and look up at him.

“Don’t you want us to sleep in the same room? I mean together…you and me.”

He smiles.

“Of course I want that, but I wasn’t sure if you wanted to take apart your room.”

“I could bring my desk into your room,” I say, looking questioningly at him.

His room is bigger than mine.

He already has his own desk in his room.

For his paperwork.

He takes so much work home.

To our home.

It sounds good.

“Okay, Ally gets your room.”

We talk a little bit more.

But Max wants me to sleep.

He’s right; I should get some rest.

“I love you, Liz.”

“I love you, too, Max.”

We love each other.

We’ll raise Ally together.

She’s now our daughter.

But we don’t sleep together.

What should I do?

I don’t know if I can do this.

I even don’t know if Max wants it.

Maybe he’s disgusted.

He’s asleep and I snuggle closer to him.

I don’t want to lose him.

But maybe I can never give him the sex he wants.

I move constantly.

But I can’t sleep.

“Liz?” He sounds sleepy.

I stop my movements.

“Don’t worry. Just sleep, I’ll take care of everything.“

I smile and close my eyes.

Shortly after, I follow Max in his sleep.

[guelbebek]

Chapter 37

2 weeks later

“Liz, you shouldn’t be carrying heavy things.”

Maria.

She’s always worrying.

But she shouldn’t; Ally and I are doing okay.

The stiches will be pulled out in Seattle.

We are on our way to the airport.

My parents don’t want us to go, but…I have to go to school.

I have to go to my graduation.

I did push it away from me for a long time, and I put other things first, but this has to stop now.

I was in the hospital for a week.

Ally was there a few days longer, so Max and I stayed with my parents during that time.

One night we talked about everything.

My mother cried.

I cried.

Even my father had tears in his eyes.

They forgave me for everything.

No regrets.

They were sad because we wanted to live in Seattle.

But they want to come with us, sell the restaurant and live on the money they get for it.

I’ll buy them an apartment, near all of us.

They were with Ally for almost six years.

I don’t want to separate them.

They tell us they’ll come as fast as they can.

Our flight back is comfortable.

Michael will get us from the airport.

He worries so much.

About Maria and the baby.

About Allyson and I.

When we’re back home Max says I should wait in the car.

He carries Allyson, who’s asleep, into the house.

I get out of the car when he comes back, ready to go inside with him.

He takes me in his arms.

“Max, what are you doing?”

“You shouldn’t climb so much steps.”

And he doesn’t tolerate any contradictions.

I shake my head.

“Where’s Ally?”

She wanted to watch a film with us later.

He opens the door, showing instead of telling me.

She’s laying in my bed.

I smile when I think of her.

She was exhausted and should sleep for a while; I should have realized the movie wouldn’t happen from when she yawned while she was asking us.

We’re in Max’s room for the night.

In our room.

“No, not in the bed.”

Max pauses and when I look up at him I see that he’s confused.

“I want to shower before I lay down.”

I feel like I’m smelly because I haven’t been allowed to shower every day like I always do.

“Okay.”

He helps me into the bathroom.

I sit down on the edge of the tub.

“Can you help me?”

I can’t stand for a long time.

My stitches hurt so I want to shower quickly.

I want to be in our bed as soon as I can.

“L-Liz, should I call Maria?”

Why? Doesn’t he want to help me?

I know he loves me but still, there are moments when I doubt everything.

Since that’s what he wants, I nod in answer, but I bite down on my lower lip.

“It’s not like you think.”

“What it’s like?”

His voice gets deeper, his face red in color.

“Liz, you’re a beautiful woman.”

Half woman.

“I almost can’t stand to see you naked, what will I do when you are naked and wet?”

He looks away.

I look away.

“Liz, I know what he did to you and I will never pressure you…you know that, right? I’ll wait for you until you trust me fully.”

I trust you.

The thought comes so naturally, but why don’t I want to take the next step with him?

“But you have to understand me, too. If I stay here maybe I’ll go further and do something you don’t like. I don’t want to make you scared. Do you understand?”

I nod. I didn’t know it was as bad as this for him.

He pulls me into his arms, then he strokes my back and helps me take off my clothes.

But at my underwear, he stops.

He goes to get Maria.

She helps me and when we’re finished and she brings me back to my room, Max is asleep.

Ally lies next to him and is awake.

“Didn’t you sleep?”

She looks very tired still.

“I couldn’t anymore. Can’t we talk?”

She smiles.

Maria leaves the room and I lay down next to them.

Ally sits between me and Max.

“Mommy, would you be angry if I ask you something?”

I shake my head and kiss her small hand.

She’s like a grown up.

“Mommy, where were you?”

I know what she means.

I was waiting for this.

My eyes fill with tears.

How should I explain it?

I couldn’t stand to see you?

You were an unwanted child?

Your biological father raped me?

I say the best.

“Ally, when I got you, I was young and I still had to go to school.”

“Daddy too?”

“Yes, Daddy too. Are you mad at us because we were away for so long?”

She shakes her head and smiles.

“I’m here now and we can be together till we get to paradise.”

I chuckle a little bit, but tears come down my cheeks.

I know she won’t want to be with us until the “paradise”.

She’ll have a family someday.

What’d I do to deserve her?

I wasn’t even a mother to her for five years.

“Don’t cry, Mommy.”

I nod and hug her.

I enjoy every second with her.

But still I can’t go to Mrs Madison.

I’m not completely happy.

We sleep for a few hours.

Towards evening, we get up.

Maria cooked for us in our kitchen.

Max wanted it like this so Ally and I don’t have to walk far.

After dinner, Ally wants to watch a film.

I want to go to bed.

I miss Max.

In New York, all three of us slept together; Ally wanted to stay with us.

Here she wants to sleep in her new room so Max and I can be alone.

But we watch the film with her.

I want to spend time with my daughter and don’t want to disappoint her.

After the first half, she falls asleep.

Maria and Michael go back to their apartment.

Max takes Ally to bed and then me.

“Max?”

“Mhmm…”

“I miss you.”

“Angel, I’m right here.”

“I know…”

I don’t know how to say it.

I want him to take off my clothes.

To caress my skin.

I want him to give me this wonderful feeling.

“Liz, what is it?”

He places his finger on my chin and looks into my eyes.

I blush and look away.

And I notice that he notices.

He comes nearer so his body touches mine.

“What do you miss exactly?”

His voice is deep. Rough.

I like it.

“Max, this pull…this feeling gets stronger and stronger and doesn’t go away…”

I can’t look at him.

“I can’t sleep in this situation.”

Finally I’ve admitted it.

He kisses my neck. My lips.

And gets me out of my top.

“Do you want me to free you?”

I’m not sure what he means but his hand is against my skin and it feels good, and I know that I’ve wanted this for so long.

I nod.

He takes off my clothes so that I’m naked before him.

I try to hide my body in the covers.

He stops me and looking down at me, he murmurs, “You’re so beautiful… you don’t need to hide yourself.”

He kisses my legs.

His hands caress my stomach.

At the first contact, I tense.

His tongue between my legs…that’s where the sweet pain comes from.

“Do you want me to stop?”

I hesitate.

It felt good.

Even better than food.

I lie back down, close my eyes, and he works magic on me.

He makes me feel things which are new to me.

His name leaves my lips.

He pushes my legs further apart and moans when he presses his finger on me…like he’s been waiting for this, too.

I never imagined this would be so wonderful.

A new feeling washes over me.

And the sweet pain, the one that’s been building this past month, ends.

I become satisfied instead.

I sigh relieved.

Max lays down next to me and covers us.

I bury my head in his side.

“Didn’t you like it…”

“Mhmm…”

I can’t speak.

I’m too overwhelmed.

I hug him fiercely.

So he can feel what I feel.

He kisses me on my lips.

It’s funny; the taste.

But not disgusting.

I feel so free now.

So alive.

And Max is the reason for it.

“Thank you.”

[guelbebek]

I'm back guys and this time with a new part Big thanks to my beta Lauren who is occupied with studying but still keeps to be my beta. and you know my english isnt easy work

Thanks to your wonderful feedback, notes and bumps. I love every part of it. Hopefully the candies wont hate me for this part. Welcome to new readers and thanks to the lurkers, too.

Enough now, cause you waited enough

Hope you like


Chapter 38

5 months later

“Mommy, where is Daddy?“

“He went to look after Michael, my angel.”

We’ve been waiting for four hours now.

Maria is having her baby and we are so excited.

Allyson didn’t even go to school.

It’s almost noon, and Maria’s baby is still not here.

Amy is on her way to us.

My parents moved, but Amy hasn’t yet.

Maria should have had her baby in a few days.

Amy would have been here in a few hours.

Hopefully she’ll make it.

“Mommy, will you get a baby, too someday?”

I won’t get one.

I had one.

I won’t get one.

Or maybe I can have one with Max?

He is the perfect father.

He is the perfect boyfriend.

I never wanted to marry, but I’m not so sure anymore.

I bite down on my lower lip.

Ally admires him.

I do too.

I feel Ally’s hand in mine and she strokes my hand gently.

She notices when I drift away, and gets me back to the present.

“Liz! Ally!”

It’s Max.

He comes over to us, and the first thing he does is take Ally up in his arms.

She locks her legs around him and slips her arms up around his neck.

I could cry.

I could cry everytime I see them like this.

“Can we go in?”

He nods.

“Maria asked about you two. We can see the head already.”

His face shines.

It’s the first birth he’s ever seen.

He pulls me to him.

“I wish I was there.”

Allyson.

I wish he had been, too.

We go in together.

Max and I go to Maria’s side.

Michael is on her other side and her hand is in his.

“Michael, it hurts…”

She’s almost weeping.

Her forehead is sweaty.

“I know baby, I know—just a little bit more,” he urges.

She pushes again, and her knuckles turn white.

I stroke her head.

“It’ll be over soon.”

She looks at me.

Through the pain, her eyes shine brightly.

I want a second child.

I want Max to be there when I have the baby.

The baby.

It cries.

Maria closes her eyes, exhausted.

I hear murmurs.

Max gives me Ally, and looks at Maria.

I want to ask something.

What is it?

What is happening here?

But I can’t.

My throat is too thick.

Michael starts to shout.

I can’t understand him.

Allyson cries quietly.

Max pushes us out of the room.

“Liz, stay here. Do you understand me?”

He looks at me.

I can’t answer.

What’s happening?

Why does Michael have tears in his eyes?

Why was Maria unconscious?

Why does Max look so worried?

“Liz, come on—you have to look after Ally.”

She tightens her grip around me.

She doesn’t want to get off my lap, and I don’t want her to get off, so I hold onto her tight, too.

Max goes back to Maria, leaving us quietly.

“Ally, stop crying. Everything will be okay.”

I don’t know where I get the strength from to talk like this.

Something is wrong with Maria.

My best friend.

I’ve known her since elementary school.

“Then why are you crying?”

I’m crying?

I didn’t even notice it.

I hug my daughter.

I’m anxious for my parents to come back. They wanted to pick Amy up from the airport.

About half an hour, they come.

“Wait here.”

I hug her once more and go to them.

The doctor spoke to them as soon as they arrived.

Amy hasn’t stopped crying.

Maria is her only daughter, she’s her only family.

My mother pulls me into her arms.

I send my father over to Ally.

I suggest they get something to eat while we wait here.

Amy asks so many questions, and I can’t answer a single one.

All I know is that my best friend might be dying in there.

I can’t talk anymore.

I can’t see anymore.

The door opens.

Max comes out first, and Michael follows him.

He sits down on the ground, with his back to the wall, and his face sinks.

Amy gets hysterical.

My mother tries to calm her.

I hear Max.

“They can’t stop her bleeding, so in a few minutes, they’ll operate on her.”

Max is a doctor.

He knows about this stuff.

Should I ask him?

Will she live?

“We only can wait now.”

He voice gets louder.

He comes closer to me.

“Liz?”

I can’t answer.

He pulls me into his arms.

Strokes my hair.

Kisses me on my forehead.

Asks me where our daughter is.

My mother answers him…I can’t.

“Liz, everything will be fine.”

I believe him.

I hope that it’s true.

He asks me if I need medicine to calm down.

Max would get me anything or do anything to make me feel better, but I shake my head.

I don’t like medicine.

Amy asks for some, but she doesn’t stop crying.

And I don’t either.

Michael is still sitting against the wall.

Max asked him something.

When Michael lifted his head, I saw his tears.

I have never seen Michael cry.

Only Max.

He cried when Ally told him that she loves him.

Then he thanked me all night.

For a wonderful daughter.

For a wonderful life.

Michael doesn’t say anything.

Not even to his brother.

I want to help him.

For once I want to be the person who doesn’t need help.

I want to be the person who helps.

Michael has done so much for me.

He left New York with us.

He had a lot of arguments with his parents over that one.

I free myself from Max, go to Michael, and sit down next to him.

He looks at me.

His eyes are red and puffy.

“Liz, what should I do?”

Sobs rock his body.

“What if s-she dies?”

He closes his eyes.

“We have a son, a wonderful son and she hasn’t seen him—”

“Come.”

I extend my leg flat on the floor and gesture to my knee.

He lies down on the cold floor, puts his head on my leg.

I stroke his hair.

Together we cry and pray for Maria.

As he closes his eyes and his cries soften to a whisper, I look back at Max, and what I see there is amazing.

There’s love—pure, true love in his eyes.

I have to ask myself…what have I done to deserve him?

[guelbebek]

Hello Everyone!

Posting this makes me sad, cause there is afterwarfs only the Epilogue left. And I have to admit it still isnt translated, but im getting to it in my next free time, i promise!

Special thanks to Lauren, my lovely beta who never let me down. it didnt matter how RL may be hectic, she was there all the time for me! Hugs and kisses to you

And you're just as great guys. I was never sad or disappointed of the amount of feedback, and you made sure of it thanks to my regular readers, new readers, and lurkers. I love translating my stories for this board. And Hopefully I'll come back with Blind Date and you'll bear with me. Thanks to you for your feedback during this story! And here is the last part, only the epilogue is left.

Bye guel



Chapter 39


“Liz, you should go home, too.”

“I want to wait until she wakes up.”

“But it’s…”

“Max, please.”

He nods.

Maria came out of the operation room a few hours ago.

She should wake up soon.

It’s already well into the afternoon.

My parents will go home with Ally.

She’s exhausted.

A hospital is no place for six year olds.

She gives me a kiss and then Max.

He hugs her for longer than usual.

He smells her hair and tightens his arms around her.

“Max.”

That’s my mother.

I couldn’t interrupt him.

He frees Ally.

They go.

We enter the hospital room again.

Maria lays in the bed.

Michael sits on her side.

It’s a private room.

There’s even a couch in the room.

Michael will spend the night here.

I can understand that.

Max and I sit down.

He pulls me to his chest.

Tears run down my cheeks.

I can’t stop it.

Maria looks so exhausted.

Michael is whispering into her ear.

He tells her about their newborn son.

About the wedding they’ve planned.

But Maria doesn’t awaken.

My eyes get heavy with the time.

“Liz?”

Hmm.

“Liz?”

I hold up my head, confused.

I must have fallen asleep.

“She’s awake.”

I almost run to Maria’s bed.

Her eyes are half-closed.

She smiles a little.

“Liz, you’re an aunt now.”

She sounds dry and thirsty.

Michael sits beside her.

He kisses her on the forehead. Once. Twice. I stop counting after the fourth time.

We talk slowly.

It gets late.

Maria sleeps for a few minutes, drifting in and out of our conversations, but she wakes up again all the time.

The nurse brought the baby to us for a few minutes.

Michael asked his fiancée about a name, and Maria looked at her son.

She cried and whispered:

“Cameron.”

Afterwards she fell asleep again.

Michael told us we could go.

He wants Maria to rest and us too.

I refuse.

But in the end Max convinces me to do it.

We go home.

Allyson isn’t there; she’s sleeping at my parents’s home.

I decide to take a shower.

Max says he’ll make dinner in the meantime.

I close the door behind me.

But I don’t lock it.

I promised Max I wouldn’t do it.

He worries.

He wants to be able to reach me at every minute.

Tears spring to my eyes.

I think about my best friend.

Maria.

She was bleeding.

She could have died.

My best friend could have died today.

I get into the tub.

The tears won’t stop.

What would I have done when I had lost her?

“Liz?”

I hear him, when he’s directly behind me.

I turn around to him.

He looks understanding.

I bury myself in his arms.

Clothes or not.

“Max, sh-she almost died…you know, she…”

He gets wet.

It doesn’t bother him nor me.

He pulls me out of the tub.

He wraps me in a towel, and leads me to our bed.

“You have to rest. It was an exhausting day.”

He dries me.

Then he gives me a fresh shirt, and a pair of his boxer shorts.

It feels wonderful.

He takes such good care of me.

“I’ll bring you something to eat.”

“No, Max. Please stay here.”

I cling to his shirt.

Today I noticed how much I love him.

I tried to think of myself in Maria’s state.

And I noticed that I don’t want to die without having felt Max in me.

Maybe not today.

And not tomorrow.

But someday.

I know it.

“I wanted to talk to you, anyway.”

About what?

He sounds serious.

I open the buttons of his shirt.

I want to touch him. Feel him.

“Liz, you’re distracting me.”

What can be so important at the moment?

I slide closer to him, lightly press my body against his.

I want to show him that I want him.

It took me awhile but now I’m used to his body.

Max doesn’t scare me anymore.

No piece of his body.

“What is it?”

I can’t take out the nervous tone out of my voice.

He kisses me.

“You know I love you more than anything.”

I smile.

“I…”

He stops me.

“Let me finish.”

I nod.

He strokes my cheek.

“You know I love Allyson, too.”

I get afraid.

Does he want to leave me?

Maybe he’ll say it doesn’t work?

But it’s so perfect.

Does he want to have sex?

Hopefully he won’t say this.

He’s been so patient all this time, and now I know I want it, too.

But I want him to know that it was my own decision.

That my body wants his.

That my soul wants it.

I overcame my fears.

I no longer think that it will be disgusting.

“Today I imagined you were on Maria’s place.”

He closes his eyes

His body trembles.

He always trembles when he’s angry or emotional.

“Liz, I wouldn’t know what to do with myself when something like that would happen to you.”

Does that mean I shouldn’t get pregnant?

At this time I actually can’t get pregnant because I haven’t had sex yet.

“Max, what is it?”

He sits up, and looks at me, waiting.

I sit up, too.

What is happening here?

“Liz, you’re the most beautiful woman, I know.”

I blush and lower my eyes.

He pushes my face up with his finger.

“You went through so many things but you survived because you’re an unbelievable woman. You’re the mother of a wonderful girl, and thanks to you I can be her father. You don’t know how happy you make me.”

He kisses me on my forehead. Slow and long.

And then he looks in my eyes.

“Marry me, Liz?”

Marry?

I bite down on my lower lip.

I always thought I would never marry.

“Liz? Don’t be silent, not now.”

He strokes my lips.

I can’t bite down on it; tears roll down my cheeks.

But I smile.

I’ll marry.

“Liz, you’re my life, Ally’s my life. I never want to be apart from you. I want to adopt Ally, and get to be her real father. And you should be my wife…”

“Yes.”

“What?”

“I said yes.”

He looks at me, confused.

He can’t believe it.

“Of course I want to marry you.”

He pulls me to him.

He kisses me, deep and hard, and his tears melt into mine.

I can’t wait to tell Maria.

She’ll marry first.

And then I will.

“God, Liz…you’ve made me into the world’s happiest man!”

We lie down without letting go.

“Max,” I look up into his eyes. “Will you go with me to Mrs. Madison tomorrow?”

“Why?”

He strokes my back.

“Because I’m happy.”

[guelbebek]

I let you wait long enough and wanted to post this immediately when Lauren got back to me, but i was away and now I'm back from my trip and tired, but i wanted to post this before I head for my bed (its over two am here).

Thanks for the wonderful feedback! Sometimes when i wanted to stop translating you had me going with your wonderful words! Just...hope you like the end. I'm really sad that this is over. Hope you feel for Liz and Max like I did when I wrote them. I love writing a story and finishing it but then i dont want to let go of it.

I couldnt thank Lauren enough for this! You could say I wrote the german version alone but this one, this is only finished and in good shape cause of Lauren! She's just a wonderful beta and person. Hugs

I love you guys

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Chapter 40
Epilogue

7 months later

Who am I?

The happiest woman in this world.

Where am I?

In the holiest place in this world.

And who am I with?

I’m with my future husband, my daughter, my family, and my friends.

My dad is the one to walk me to the entrance.

In a moment I’ll walk down the aisle to the altar.

To Max.

I close my eyes.

I thank God for this wonderful day.

I’m no longer angry with him.

I used to think that he took six years from my life, but now I believe that he’s given me the rest.

I cannot be anything but happy with Allyson and Max.

I don’t see anything at this moment.

Just Max.

He’s beside the priest, and he’s looking into my eyes.

I think he still fears that I won’t do it.

But I’m not the old Liz Parker anymore.

I’m no longer afraid.

With Max and Ally, I can do anything.

I smile at him.

He smiles back.

I look around the place.

Maria is my bridesmaid.

Michael is Max’s best man.

Amy holds Cameron in her arms in the front seat.

My parents are next to her.

Allyson is sitting between them.

She looks beautiful.

I’m still angry with myself.

I ignored her for such a long time, and because of this I want everything to be perfect in the future.

I want to be there for her.

I want to be a mother to her.

And now I’m standing in front of Max.

My legs get shaky.

He takes my hands in his.

We decided not to exchange wedding vows.

Because I can’t express my feelings in words.

I can’t show him with words how much I love him.

Words won’t show the truth.

Max says the same.

The priest smiles and weds us before God and all of our loved ones.

Allyson is holding a pillow when she comes to us.

She carries our rings.

She has on a soft green dress and looks like a princess.

Max takes one ring and slides it onto my finger.

Afterwards he kisses me on my forehead.

I slide his on his finger.

The priest tells us that we are now husband and wife.

And Max kisses me.

And how he kisses me.

I grab his neck to hold on.

My body shakes with excitement.

I know it’s a cliché, but he does this to me.

After the wedding ceremony, we go back home.

It’s a small party with only our family and close friends.

We just bought a new house.

A few months ago, Maria and Michael wanted to move.

They wanted a bigger house because they had a baby on the way.

Michael didn’t want to wait a second after the birth; he wanted to get married instantly after the birth.

Maria wanted to get married right away but she wanted to get rid of the weight she put on before her wedding.

They got married two months ago.

I still laugh when I think about it.

My present for their wedding was a house.

And Michael got upset.

This male pride is unbelievable.

But what else should I do with my money?

It was a good investment.

Besides, every year I receive more and more money, and I have to spend it on something.

Max and I moved next.

Allyson’s school was too far away from our old apartment.

Now my parents and Amy live in our old house.

Max brings me back to the present when I feel his arms guiding me away and he shoves me into a corner.

“I can’t wait to be alone with you.”

He kisses me passionately.

I blush and look away.

We’ll spend the night here.

And in the morning we’ll fly to our honeymoon.

To Paris, France.

The city of love.

I wanted it like this.

“You look beautiful.”

I’m wearing a wedding dress for the first and the last time.

I know it.

Max knows it.

Ally comes to us and Max takes her up in his arms.

“Daddy, I’m too big.”

He tickles her with his neck.

“Do I get a brother now? Just like Cameron?”

She looks at him and then at me.

“Maybe,” smiles Max.

I blush even more.

See, Max and I haven’t made love yet.

But tonight it will happen.

I was ready before, about a month before the wedding, but Max wanted to wait.

He wanted our wedding night to be the first time…so we never would forget anything about today.

But this day is already so special to me.

That’s why I want to fly out tomorrow and not today.

I want our first time to be in this house, in our bedroom, and not just in any hotel.

“Liz, we’re going to go now,“ my Mother tells us.

She has tears in her eyes…again.

We’ve been getting along very well.

My parents are incredible. I’m so blessed.

My dad hugs me tightly.

They take Ally with them.

She’s going to spend this week with them.

My parents are looking forward to it.

And Allyson is too.

Michael talks with Max about the house.

He has to take in the mail at least twice.

And they should water our plants once.

Maria hugs me.

“You have to tell me everything afterwards,” she whispers in my ear.

I bite down at my lower lip.

I get nervous.

We’re going to be alone soon.

“You’ll see that it will be beautiful.”

I say that she should be quiet.

Max and Michael come back.

Michael has Cameron in his arms.

He’s such a cute boy.

They leave soon with Max’s parents in tow.

“We’re alone.”

I don’t answer.

What should I do?

I don’t know what to do.

“Liz?”

I bite down at my lower lip.

He takes my face in his hands and looks straight in my eyes.

“Are you nervous?”

I nod and he smiles.

“Me too.”

Oh, that makes me get even more nervous.

“Why are you?”

He takes my hand and leads me to our bedroom.

The fireplace is lit brightly.

I can’t believe my life.

I’m standing with Max in our bedroom, which even has a beautiful fireplace.

“Liz, how long have we known each other now?”

He holds up his eyebrows.

“My last time was a long time ago.”

He smiles and looks away.

We sit down in front of the fireplace.

He helps me out of my dress.

“You don’t have to be nervous.”

He nibbles on my lower lip and I have to ask back.

“Then why are you nervous?”

“Because I want it to be perfect for you.”

“It’s with you, Max. It only can be perfect.”

Did I really say this?

He kisses me.

I feel butterflies moving under my skin.

“Your words mean everything, Liz.”

I know he’s worried.

He doesn’t want me to think about the rape.

But I love him, and that makes all the difference.

And this has nothing to do with that night years ago.

There is no connection with that.

There’s not even a connection to Allyson because she’s our daughter now.

The adoption is in progress right now.

“Liz?”

“Hmm…”

I feel like I’m in a dream.

I can’t believe how perfect my life has become.

“Come with me.”

He helps me up and takes me in his arms.

He carries me over to our bed.

“Liz, are you covered?”

I know he has protection.

It’s right beside us in the closet. I found the condoms two days ago.

Maybe he doesn’t want a second child?

Maybe he just wants Ally?

I shake my head.

“Do you want me to use something to protect us?”

“Do you?”

He holds up his brows.

“What do you … Liz, do you want a baby?”

I don’t look at him.

“Liz, look at me. Please.”

I look at him and he smiles.

“Beautiful, do you want a baby?”

“You?”

“You didn’t answer my question.”

I shrug with my shoulders.

“Yes, Liz, I really do want one, but if you’re not…”

I stop him with my finger.

“I want to have a baby, too.” I whisper.

A big smile lightens up his face.

“God…you don’t know how much I love you…how much I adore you.”

Tears well up in my eyes.

But they are happy tears.

He strokes them away with his thumb.

“Liz, you’re my wife…my wife.”

He speaks in awe and strokes me.

Kisses me.

Undresses me.

With trembling fingers, I open his shirt.

He lays his hand over mine.

“Liz, we can wait…”

I know it’s killing him and I stop him from talking.

We have waited long enough.

“Are you afraid?” He asks me.

“Please don’t be afraid of me. I could never hurt you, do you hear? Never.”

I can’t answer.

I’m not afraid of him.

“Liz, talk to me.”

He’s so gentle, so loving.

“Max, I’m totally inexperienced…”

He kisses, and strokes my skin harder.

“You don’t see that this is making me crazy? You being so innocent? You’re driving me mad… ‘cause you’re everything I want. You are Liz Evans and you’re the mother of my daughter.“

I kiss him back and let him be seduced by me.

I give him all the control.

He kisses me all over my body, whispers words of love in my ear.

I sigh loudly when he finally enters me.

I have the feeling that he’s tearing me apart then building me back up.

“Does it hurt?”

A little, I say, but it’s a wonderful feeling,

“Do you want me to stop?”

He shifts a little and I feel his big member inside of me.

“No…never…” I murmur and close my eyes.

He begins to move in me.

I hear him groan when he pushes all the way in.

“Liz…my Liz, this… it’s never ever felt like this.”

I enjoy every moment of this. It’s better than I could have ever imagined.

Damn, Maria. She was right.

“Angel, what do you want me to do? I’ll do everything you want” Max whispers and he drives into me faster and harder.

He’s just so wonderful.

“I just want to come with you,” I whisper back. “Can you do this?”

He doesn’t answer me.

But seconds later, I feel him rubbing me.

And the sensation of him thrusting in me, and the touch of his hands on my body drives me over the edge.

Tears escape my eyes when I come down from my climax.

I smile at him.

I have to stop crying during the most wonderful moments of my life.

“I love you, Liz. I will always love you.”

I cuddle up to his side.

He covers us up.

He apologizes.

Because he couldn’t go longer. He smiles, a little ashamed.

“The last time was a while back and you were just so…I couldn’t go longer…you were too much for me.”

I just sigh.

“Liz?”

“Don’t worry, Max. It was perfect.”

He’ll worry.

I’ll cry, and he’ll worry.

But we will be happy all the time.

Him, Allyson and I.

I lay my hand on my stomach.

And soon maybe there’ll be a fourth.

I smile.

From now on, I’ll only sleep with a smile on my face.

Always with Max.

I love him.

He showed me that I can still love.

I love Allyson.

I love my life.

My wonderful life.


The End


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