Authors' irrational fears

[tequathisy]

Here's the truth: we all suck.

Why?

Ask yourself this: do you really think everybody in the world really gives a crap about the story you're writing in your basement/at school/at work/in your bedroom/wherever?

Are you saying that people only don't suck if everybody in the world cares? That if only five billion people like something and cares about it that you still suck because there's another billion+ who don't care? What kind of strange longic is that? The level of people's caring about something has no bearing on it's quality. For the record, not everybody here sucks, there are some really wonderful, funny, imaginative writers on this board, so what if only a handful of people read what they write.

[Abandon Structure]

See previous Post. I apologize for saying we all suck.

[memory_echo]

I don't know how you feel about resurrecting posts... I don't know how to feel about it myself, but I need to get this off my chest, so please, be patient with me...

My biggest fear is that I won't ever be able to 'translate' my thoughts and feelings into words, properly.

That's it. I don't know if it's irrational, but it's very real, especially in the last few days, regarding a Roswell fic I've been working on.

I'm afraid, after many months of hard work and 9,477 words written, I won't be able to finish this story.

It's not that I'm trying to compete with Jan Oxenberg, Jason Katims, Ronald Moore, or any other Roswell writer... That wouldn't even be possible.

Time is my friend, because I don't have any kind of pressure... It would be an impossible endeavor otherwise.

I don't even find writing in English so difficult. I think in Portuguese, mostly, then I translate it into English.

But I know I'm in way over my head with this story. The work rhythm has been painstakingly slow from the beginning and because I work from sentence to sentence, rather than writing a first draft, I average about five attempts until I manage to 'translate' my thoughts and feelings in a way I like.

I really love writing this story, but it demands a lot from me, emotionally, more than any other story I've ever written.

I haven't been able to write anything for ten days now... This ten day drought is driving me nuts...

Sorry about the rant, but this post is the only thing I've been able to write lately.

[Eva]

Writing in another language than your native tongue is always a bit difficult. Cause like you said it yourself, you mainly think in another language. So it's always a slow process. Through the stories I've been writing I started thinking in English most of the time too. But there are still a lot of words I need to look up, not only because of the grammar but also to find that exact word that disribes the thought I've got in mind.

But the difficulty you're having right now is a writer's block. And I've been there too. It can be real life taking over or just getting stuck with a certain chapter/situation in your story. If it's the last thing, you can try to find something new to write first. Or write several lose ideas on a scribbling-pad. Or read to whole thing again. Or something else... It's a matter of resourcing. And it's not easy. But I wish you good luck!

[memory_echo]

Thank you so much, Eva!

I've been following your advice – writing ideas on a notepad for a while, letting my unconscious mind figure the riddle out on its own.

I'm still going through a period of knowing of how I want the story to end, but being unsure about the right path I should follow to get to the ending...

I'm not feeling so frustrated, now that I'm keeping away from my computer. I'm only coming back when I have the answer.

It's times like these I'm thankful I don't have an editor looking over my shoulder, waiting for me to deliver a manuscript.

That's a pressure I definitely don't need!

[memory_echo]

I think my muse has died on me. Does anyone know how to resurrect a muse?