Parker1947- Thank you for such a wonderful compliment! It's the girlfriend relationships that tend to be most difficult for us to write, so your review means so much. Thank you again!
xmag- Thank you.
Maria's life has been turned upside down, not only by her current situation, but also by the uneasiness she was experiencing prior to Michael's arrival. She's been blaming those uncertainties on her past, so sure that her commitment issues are seated in specific events related to not only Michael, but her father as well.The trauma she's suffering from witnessing the brutal murder of what her mind now knows was not her mother is compounded by the reality that while her mother didn't die at Michael's hands, the reality is that Amy Deluca is dead. Her emotions are on edge and in their heightened state she's being forced to examine her perception of things.
Questioning Liz managed to distract her and in doing so allowed her to recall the recurring dream she's experienced over the past fifteen years. Scenes between the girls are some of the most difficult for us to write and this one is very close to our hearts. Thank you for the compliment.
xilaj- Thank you for the amazing compliment! The girlfriend relationships tend to be a challenge for us to write and especially now when the teens we knew are grown adults.
Book One – Chapter 5
October 13, 2016 – Pete’s Liftoff Gas Station, Outskirts of Roswell, NM – 0503 Hours
Isabel settled back to blend in with the shadows. At 16 years old the thought of Isabel Evans wanting to be invisible would have been laughable. She had stood apart from the crowd and that was the way she had wanted it. Being back on Earth had brought a myriad of memories to the surface and with them came a barrage of emotions. So far she had managed to hold them at bay, keeping them from overrunning her protective barrier, but as the night wore on and the station’s human occupants began to calm down and voices became hushed, that barrier seemed to weaken.
The desert night was far from silent. Animals that hid from the unforgiving sun during the day came out once the oppressive heat retreated, giving them ample time to forage for food before the sun came up again the next morning. There were sounds that so many people would never be able to detect simply because they didn’t have the training to listen to the silence. She’d learned over the years that the quietest sound could be nearly deafening under the right circumstances.
Up until a few minutes ago there had been enough of a disturbance to overshadow the sounds of the desert coming to life. While Liz and Maria hadn’t been loud by any means, their hushed voices had provided a block. Now it was quiet enough that she could hear the sound of the small insect slowly creeping up the broken window she had stationed herself next to since Michael had refused to come inside to rest.
Even now he remained outside, eyes locked on something in the distance. She didn’t know what it was, didn’t even know if it was something actually there or something only he could see. So many of the things they had seen since leaving Earth could never be forgotten no matter how much they might like to banish the memories. Death, destruction, betrayal… it seemed as if those things had run in a constant loop, blurring one day into the next.
She had witnessed his return from the battlefield many times, had seen him covered in blood more times than she could count – the blood of their enemies, the blood of those loyal to them and his own blood. Somehow seeing him come in several hours ago had been worse than any of those other times. She knew without a doubt that the blood hadn’t belonged to Amy Deluca, but Maria’s reaction to what she believed to be her mother’s murder at the hands of someone she had at one time trusted had torn at something deep inside of herself.
The Skins were ruthless and lacked a conscience. They hunted tirelessly and they killed viciously, drawing as much pain from their victims as they could. She couldn’t control the shudder that racked her body as she imagined the deaths Jim and Kyle Valenti had suffered at the hands of one or more Skins. She had witnessed what they were capable of and it had made her violently ill. They didn’t just kill for survival, they hunted their prey and they killed for sport, and they enjoyed it.
She tried to shake off the image of such an ending coming to her parents but the possibility haunted her. It had been so hard to leave them. It had been a painful decision and it had torn her apart. She had known when the time came for them to leave that she couldn’t stay behind but that hadn’t made the decision any easier. The loss had just piled up and the weight had seemed impossible to carry but she’d had no choice but to keep moving.
Her vision blurred as she stared up at the stars through the broken glass and she drew in a slow shuddering breath. The skies over Antar had been so foreign and the stars visible in the murky night sky had mocked her every time she had searched for a point of familiarity. Her eyes drifted closed as grief washed over her; grief that in spite of time and distance hadn’t diminished. Most days she was able to keep it compartmentalized. She’d had no choice. If she hadn’t found a way to push it down it would’ve destroyed her.
It pulsed to life as her barriers weakened and in that moment it was as if the past fifteen years didn’t exist and he had just died. Losing Alex was part of the reason she had made the decision to leave. The grief had been overwhelming; it had been all-consuming and the fear that who she was could have somehow been responsible for that loss had haunted her. She hadn’t been able to rid herself of that thought and the guilt had only gotten worse when Liz had made that painful accusation. She hadn’t known if who she was might end up costing her parents their lives one day. It had been one more reason to leave the planet when the opportunity had presented itself. Surely if she was thousands of light years away on another planet, possibly another solar system, they would be safe.
There had been a price to pay for that decision and the cost was just as painful. She had left them on a planet without protection. They’d had no way of knowing how much the Special Unit knew about them. They had no way of knowing if they were really dismantled. They had no way of knowing if whoever or whatever was responsible for Alex’s death could target them next. She fought to control the tremors she could feel causing her insides to shake as she recalled sitting next to Max and making that tape for their parents. It had been a gut-wrenching experience and it had ranked right up there with saying goodbye to Alex.
She wanted her mom. She needed to know what had happened to her parents. Diane and Philip Evans were her parents, they were Max’s parents, and she didn’t need biology to make it true. She’d known it from day one. She’d seen the couple walk into the orphanage and she’d been drawn to the woman with the friendly, smiling face and the yellow sweater that had reminded her of the sun. No matter how much time had passed, how many miles had separated them, she still knew that truth in her heart.
Her gaze shifted to the darkened corner across the room where Liz and Maria had taken refuge and once again her thoughts were drawn back to Maria’s reaction to what she believed she had witnessed. A scene like that would unleash the soldier she had become and human emotion would fuel her alien instinct as she tracked the enemy and exacted retribution. She had learned to kill and she had become skilled at it out of necessity.
She could feel the anguish building up in her chest, swelling until it pushed everything else out including the ability to breathe. Just the thought of losing her parents pushed her under a sea of emotions and left her feeling like she was drowning. She wanted to keep them safe, to save them from a horrible death. She didn’t want them to end up like Jim and Kyle or Amy. They didn’t know exactly what had happened to Maria’s mother, but they knew from experience that the Skins didn’t leave their victims alive.
Panic clawed at her chest, the silenced screams trying to force their way out, and she leaned forward to rest her forehead on her raised knees. She had to control this. Breaking down wasn’t an option. There was no place for that here. She squeezed her eyes shut and her fingers bit into the flesh of her legs as she began to shake.
“Isabel.”
The hand on her shoulder pulled her back to the moment and she felt her nerves begin to settle. She reached up and rested her hand on top of his, a silent show of appreciation. He wouldn’t question her ability to handle what was coming at them and he wouldn’t mention this momentary lapse of control. They all had a moment of weakness from time to time and when that happened one of the others would step up and offer the necessary support to help them put those emotions away where they needed to be.
She nodded and stood up, telling him without words that she would be going outside to check the perimeter. The cold night air would clear her head and give her the space she needed to bring her emotions fully under control. She could do this. She would do this. Failure was not an option.
*****
He watched from the shadows as Michael approached Isabel, knowing before contact was made between them that she would calm at his touch. There were certain moods that struck her that could only be reached by Michael’s brand of comfort. He had never been a talker and that hadn’t changed over the years. But he felt things deeply and he recognized pain in others, especially when it came to Isabel.
He’d watched as the bond between them strengthened over time. The countless battles, the constant death and destruction, the loss both old and new that always weighed on them, it had all worked together to forge an unbreakable bond. The three of them had survived and they’d come back to Earth determined to save the people they loved and change the past that had left them all damaged in one way or another.
A past they had to change. They couldn’t afford to fail. This mission above all others had to be successful. The war on Antar wasn’t theirs to fight, it never had been. But they’d landed right in the middle of it and their only choices had been fight or die – it hadn’t really been much of a choice and it had done its best to take their souls a piece at a time. He’d often wondered if they made it out alive how much of their humanity would be left. So much of what they’d had to do to survive was unthinkable… and so unnecessary.
He ran a hand over his face tiredly. He winced when the old scar that crossed his palm rasped against flesh that was overly sensitive courtesy of an old injury. He held his hand out and stared at it as if he no longer recognized it. He’d learned to kill, he’d become skilled at killing, and he hated the part of himself that was proud of his abilities on the field of battle. He’d never wanted the responsibility of making decisions that affected people’s lives, but a single decision made before the thought of leaving Earth had ever really occurred to him had changed everything and set all of them on an irrevocable course.
He sighed inaudibly and watched as Isabel slowly got to her feet with a hand up from Michael, knowing before she looked directly at him and nodded that she’d be going out to walk the perimeter and pull herself together. One decision, one mistake, and countless lives had paid for his error in judgment.
Max turned his head slowly when the air shifted subtly and he watched as Liz stood, murmuring in low tones to Maria before she moved back to the coolers Isabel had worked a little magic on. They’d known they would have to hole up somewhere out of sight and finding the old gas station abandoned had been perfect. It hadn’t been much back before it had closed but at some point the owner must have tried to keep up with the competition because the bathroom now housed a shower and there was a small kitchen area that had been added.
Thanks to Isabel those things were working enough to get them by. She’d gotten her hands on supplies so they wouldn’t be hungry or thirsty while they got ready to implement their plan. He was grateful to have food but most of the time he ate out of necessity. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d eaten for the pure enjoyment of pleasing his palate. It was like everything else he did – he did it for survival. Life had long ago lost any joy.
Antar had robbed him of that along with his innocence. It had changed him, turned him into someone he didn’t recognize most days. He straightened up when Liz opened one of the cooler doors, observing her as she leaned into the cool interior and rested her forehead against the hand gripping one of the shelves. What had he done to her? He’d known years ago that he didn’t deserve her. He’d betrayed her in the most elemental way possible and that betrayal had been costly.
He knew there were plenty of people who would say no, he hadn’t technically betrayed her because they hadn’t actually been together at the time he slept with Tess. But he had and he knew it. He’d managed to get Tess pregnant and he’d blindly followed her lead. He squeezed his eyes shut as he wished away the memory of every hurtful word that had been said between him and Liz after that fateful night. So much pain had been inflicted but any wounds he’d suffered as a result of her verbal assaults were minimal in light of what he’d done. But it didn’t stop them from hurting any time he ripped the old scars open and revisited each of those moments in time.
How could he have just walked away, left Earth knowing he was leaving her to possibly face the person that had killed Alex? He’d known in his heart there was no way Alex would have committed suicide. He’d known it, and yet he’d let himself be swayed because he couldn’t face the truth. One mistake after another had started to pile up on him and that guilt had become so painfully crushing in spite of his attempts to outrun it.
It wasn’t possible to outrun guilt. Even absolution couldn’t rid a person of that weight. And even now he didn’t believe he deserved forgiveness from her. The light above the door she held open flickered a few times, bringing the tear tracks on her face into stark relief and his heart twisted in his chest.
He hadn’t really sat down and talked to her since they’d gone to get her. She’d come with them without question and that had hit him like a punch in the gut. How could she still have any faith in him? How could she trust him after what he’d done to her? He’d betrayed her, he’d left her, and he’d unknowingly taken Alex’s killer with him when he left Earth, protecting her but leaving her with no closure and Alex’s family with the burden of believing that he had taken his own life.
She reached up to wipe her hand across her face, trying to erase the tracks of her tears, and he found himself moving without conscious thought. He didn’t know what to say to her, but there was no way he could stand there and let her suffer alone. If nothing else, he was responsible for the turmoil she was in. His hands flexed into fists a couple of times before relaxing as he approached her and he reached up to grip the door she held open.
“Liz?”
She drew in a slow deep breath, hoping to keep her emotions under control. She’d waited years for him to come back, imagining hundreds of different scenarios where he returned and finally told her what had happened, but not a single one of them came close to the reality. She could remember tiptoeing through 2014, part of her afraid that somehow the present hadn’t been changed enough to alter the future timeline that had sent Max back to visit her and alter the past.
She’d sacrificed her future with Max, sabotaging a relationship she’d wanted more than anything else, and as much as that had hurt, as much as it still hurt deep inside, she’d known it was the right thing to do. What right did she have to be selfish enough to protect her own happiness when it would end up costing the lives of everyone they loved? She had waited with trepidation for 2014 to end, watching the sky every night for anything that might suggest a coming invasion.
And then, nearly two years after 2014 came to a close, she’d looked up from giving her tenth grade class their assignment for the weekend and caught a glimpse of a striking blonde walking past her open classroom door. She bore a striking resemblance to Isabel Evans and after teaching at West Roswell for several years now she was certain she would’ve spotted a teenage girl that stood out like Isabel had. She hadn’t been able to curb the hope that leapt to life at the possibility that they had returned, that he had finally come home.
She knew she’d gotten a few strange looks from her students as she gave them their final instructions, having to repeat a couple of things because she was so distracted. She was grateful when the bell finally rang and she was able to turn the teens loose and set out after the tall blonde. It didn’t take long for the halls to empty out and she nodded and spoke to a few of the other teachers when they called out from their classrooms. Soon she’d left the classrooms behind and she pushed through the double doors that opened up to the quad where there were picnic tables set up for students to have lunch outdoors.
She paused a moment, searching the area and shaking her head when the only people she saw was a handful of students hurrying to escape for the weekend. Maybe the girl was a new student. Fifteen years had passed. Isabel Evans would have aged with time. Even she wouldn’t have been able to stop the hands of time. She sighed as she discarded the idea. No, she knew she hadn’t imagined the resemblance. How many times over their high school careers had she seen Isabel walk through these very halls as if she owned them? There was no mistaking that walk, that posture, or that appearance that was so familiar it was like she’d just seen her yesterday.
She turned and followed the sidewalk around to the side of the school. Her fingertips brushed against the leaves of the bushes that bordered the path, the whisper of sound comforting in the sudden silence that surrounded her. There was an air of anticipation hanging over her, further proof that something important was about to happen. Out of habit she sidestepped a crack in the cement and the old rhyme ran through her mind.
Step on a crack, break your mother’s back. Step on a line, you’ll break your father’s spine.
She was pretty sure whoever came up with those sick little rhymes had parental issues. Her eyebrows lifted in surprise when she spotted three motorcycles parked in a secluded area. It wasn’t a sight seen very often in Roswell. Sure, there was the occasional motorcycle, but three in one place? Practically unheard of. And behind the school? That had never happened in the history of the small town.
A small movement off to her right caught her attention and as her eyes located the source she stopped dead in her tracks. When she was sixteen years old he’d come to her from fourteen years in the future and to this day she could remember what he’d looked like. The man before her blew those memories out of the water. Tall and leanly muscled, long hair that was showing signs of graying, his face drawn and his eyes haunted with the shadows of things she couldn’t begin to guess at, he was an imposing presence. His hands hung loosely at his sides, a stance that was probably meant to be non-threatening, but it wasn’t necessary. She didn’t feel threatened.
Her eyes flicked to the side when Isabel moved and she realized she was leaning back against the wall not far from her brother. Yes, she was still as impressive as she’d been in high school, even more now than before. She was older, but she still carried herself with an air of confidence and in spite of the years that had aged her, she was still beautiful. No, she thought as she watched the tall blonde stride across the open area and settle on one of the motorcycles in one smooth move, it was more than confidence, it was something that went so much deeper than that.
She shifted her gaze back to Max, soaking up his presence and wondering what had brought them back home. He straightened up and she turned her head when she saw his eyes lock on something behind her. She was surprised to see Michael walk past her but not surprised when he did nothing more than nod curtly in her direction. He settled on the second motorcycle and braced his hands on his knees as he looked at Max expectantly.
“Liz…”
His voice washed over her. It was huskier than she remembered and it awoke something inside of her that had been dormant for so long. She looked at him, watching him as he moved from his position by the wall. His movements weren’t hesitant or uncertain as he walked toward her. She could sense the urgency in him, but more than that, she could feel the resolve in him. He moved with purpose and he commanded attention.
She couldn’t stop her gaze from moving over him appreciatively. He was so much more than the man she had met on her rooftop balcony back in high school. He wore riding leathers, the supple material creaking quietly with his movements and giving visual representation to the dangerous air surrounding him.
“Liz, I know you have no reason to trust me and I have no right to ask you to, but you have to come with me. Now.” His eyes never left hers as he threw one leg over the seat and held a hand out to her, waiting for her response.
She hadn’t seen him in fifteen years. They hadn’t parted under the best of circumstances. They didn’t know each other anymore. Yet she’d never been more certain of what she was doing as she placed her hand in his, their palms sliding against each other in a slow caress. His hand curled around hers and his grip was firm and strong, steadying her as she climbed on the motorcycle behind him. He reluctantly released her and without waiting for him to ask, her arms slid around his waist.
Several days had passed now and they hadn’t really talked. It was like neither of them had any idea how to start the conversation that was years in the making. She wanted to talk to him, needed to talk to him, and as much as she trusted him, believed in him and yes, as much as she had waited for him to come back, there was a part of her that was still angry with him. Maybe that was why she hadn’t pushed to start a conversation with him.
