Look WithIn (UC, Mi/L, Mature) AN 05/11/2006 {WIP}

[kitkat405]

Here it is finally the next chapter. Everything is looking better right now and I want to thank everyone who posted. I'm glad you enjoy it. This chapter seamed to flow through me. I hope you like it.please please give me feed back its the only way I know if you like it. I'll shut up now.




Chapter 11


Liz’s POV.

That night sleep didn’t come easily. All I could think about was how quickly everything was changing. It seemed like I was just playing the role in someone else’s life. At times I had to fake it just to get by. Don’t get me wrong I love it here, more than Hollywood but there are moments when I wonder what if. What if Mom and Dad had never left Roswell? Would I have been friends with Serena or Ava? Would Tess be as close to us as she is? What if Mom had been able to convince Dad that we were just as important as his job? What if they had never even gotten together? And the big one, what if Dad hadn’t died that night? Would I still be oblivious to Max and Maria’s lies, probably I mean it took them saying it to my face for me to wake up.

But saying that, there are times when I’m alone that it’s all I can think about. I catch the smell of wood and rain and it takes me back to when I was little; and Dad would tuck me in and just as he went to hug me I’d smell it, wood and rain. In that instant all I want is my Daddy back, my chest tightens, and it hurts to breath. It takes a few minutes but I start to calm down and remember that I can’t lose it; that I have to be strong for Sarah. That I can’t show any kind of weakness because I’m the big sister. I’m the one that she goes to when she’s scared, when the real world gets to, well real. I’m not aloud to cry, to greave.

After Michael left I went onto the balcony. Going over all this I remind myself right before I go to bed that I’m the reason for his death and everyone’s pain. If it weren’t for me begging him to come home for my birthday he would still be alive. So that’s why I play what if; that’s why I can’t cry because I don’t deserve to, I lost that right when I lived and he died.

As I said sometimes I play the role of perfect Liz. There are still times when I catch a headline about the trail over Dad’s money and all I can think is why can’t we be enough for her. What did we do that made her hate us so much. Then I’ll remember why we’re here. After that I understand why she’d hate me but Sarah did nothing wrong. It’s times like that when I have to fake it. Act as if it doesn’t matter and I don’t care.

You would think I was used to the lies and that I had this armor built up and nothing could get through but it’s amazing how just a little bit and it would crumble. I pass off Max and Maria getting together like its nothing. Do is still want Max, hell no but we were friends before same as Maria. I’ve know Maria since birth and after everything that’s happened I still have moments were I want to caller her and talk or I want to tell her about Serena. Then it clicks as to why we don’t talk. I think that’s what hurt the worst, because I know she isn’t waiting for the world to right it self, that she doesn’t care, that she’s happier now that my world is in shambles; but hers seems perfect.

After saying all that, I have to say that not everything is horrible and I do still have fun. When I’m with my friends I can forget sometimes and act like we’ve been friends forever. I can be a teenager and just have fun. In those few moments everything is okay. Right now I live for those moments.

I wake up around 9:30. I guess wake up isn’t really what you would call it; more like giving up on sleep. I take a quick shower and check on Sarah. When I get to her room I find it empty, I walk into the living room and here her in the kitchen. I walk up to the door and see her making french toast, eggs, and bacon. She has the radio on but low enough that it wouldn’t disturb my sleeping. She still hasn’t gotten dressed and is in her tank top and pajama capris. I had to silence my laughter as she danced around the kitchen singing into a spoon and sliding in her socks. When she tried to hit a high note I lost it and doubled over laughing. She jumped about a foot in the air causing multiple things to happen. First the spoon went across the room hitting the butter causing it to fall to the floor making a big splat sound. Second when she came back down her socks skidded and she fell right onto her butt, this causing me to lose such complete control that I had to hold my side because it was hurting. I should have know by the look on Sarah’s face to run but couldn’t move. She had this evil glint in her eyes before I knew what had happened there was butter all over my face and hair.

For a second I just stared at her then reached for the closest food object, which happened to be the eggs and threw them at her. They hit right in the chest, she scrambled (pun not intended) up going for more food. We had a good food fight going until we herd a gasp and grunt. Sarah and I turned around to find Alex and Serena cracking up, and Michael, well Michael just shaking his head. This gave me an idea, I smirked at Sarah then looked at them. Catching on quick she nodded and launched jam at Serena while I sent butter at Michael. Serena screamed then had murder in the eyes, while Michael just stared at me.

“What Michael afraid to get a little messy?” I asked.

That was when I realized what he might have been looking at. I hadn’t changed out of my robe after getting out of the shower. It had opened a little. When I felt the blush start I look down and went to tie it back up tighter. Right then a steady stream of something hot and sticky hit me full force. It was my turn to scream, I looked up to find him with the syrup going from Sarah to me. We both back tracked and grabbed more food and the fight started all over again.

We didn’t stop until we ran out of food, by then we all were to tired to move from the kitchen floor. We didn’t dare more out of it afraid that we’d leave a trail of sticky food behind. I looked down and groaned.

“I had just taken a shower, now I need another one,”I glanced over a Michael; who didn’t seem to have as much food over him as everyone else. That is until I saw him turn and cringed. The syrup had gotten all in his long hair making it stick right to his head. “I blame you.” I said pointing at Michael. He just smirked.

“How do you figure it that way?” I had tried to get up but kept slipping because of the syrup, I finally gave up and settled my hands on my hips.

“Because, it wasn’t until you got here that it got this bad. I mean I never would have gone after the syrup. How did you get in here anyways?” At that his smirk turned evil. I was waiting for he to retort but it was Sarah who spoke first.

“I called and asked if they wanted to have breakfast and if french toast was okay? I had opened the door so they could get in, oh and sis, just because you weren’t going for it doesn’t me I wouldn’t. In fact I was just about to reach out for it. I could say you started this because you scared me.” I just stuck my tongue out at her because she was right. She rolled her eyes back and started to stand up. “Now there are 3 showers so us girls get to go first,” at this the boys both complained but one look from my sister shut them up. Right then Tess walked in, after she calmed down we filled her in on what happened. We finally got our showers done and I loaned Serena some clothes. Alex and Michel had to wear some of Grandpa’s clothes until their’s were out of the dryer.

We decided to just grab food from the Crash. Since the boys refused to go down we went and brought it back up. After eating the boys left because they were meeting with their group to ‘get to know each other’. As they left they looked like they were heading to be shot and killed. The morning had been fun. Michael and I still debated over some topics but it as nice just to have someone to talk to that didn’t automatically agree with everything you said just to be your friend.

The time flew and before we knew it; it was 3:00. Tess and Sarah were headed to a movie and would be back around 6:30 since they were going to eat at the little café next to the theater. Everything was running okay at first but it normally didn’t pick up until around 6 or 7. Michael was trying to convince me that Braveheart was the best movie of all time.

“Come on Michael, Braveheart, every guys choice, but the wrong choice.” He gave me a look that said ‘I’m right and you can’t change my mind.’

“Let me guess, you’d pick something like ‘Dirty Dancing’ or ‘Titanic’.”

“Please, first the best Mel Gibson movie ever made was Payback. While in Braveheart you have all the blood, gore, death, and meaning. With Payback its all dark, with everyone the bad guy that you only root for Mel because while he’s just as bad as everyone else, you can also tell that there are reason behind all of his actions. You root for him because all he wants is Payback againest the ones who wronged him. No, the best movie of all time is not a Mel Gibson movie or a chick flick, it’s Shenadoah. It’s a western from 1965 with James Stewart. It’s set in the Civil War, James’ family has stayed natural, that is until his family start to fall apart. It makes you really think about what’s important to you. That’s what the best movies to, leave you second guessing what you believe.” Michael just stared for a second, then shook his head as if he were clearing it.

“You keep surprising me.” I grin at him as I take my food.

“Is that good or bad?”

“Right now I’m not to sure.”After that we didn’t really have time to talk. We took our breaks at different times; other than that we were just plain busy. When Tess and Sarah came back they decided to get the last of their homework done since they were having a sleep-over later and were watching movies all day on Sunday. Around 8:30 the only people in the café was Ava, Kyle and Isabella who had showed up 30 minutes before, Tess, Sarah and Alex, Serena, Michael, and a man in his mid 40's. He had come in around 7:30 and only ordered a shake. He was in my section so I got to deal with him. Yay! Not. Ava was making sure where we were going to meet the next day when there was a commotion at the register. I looked up and saw the man yelling at Sarah. Tess and Sarah had gotten up and were standing behind the counter getting refills and looked terrified. Michael came out just as Kyle was getting up to help. Just as they got to the guy he pulled a gun and pointed it right at Serena. All the blood drained from my face. It seamed I just couldn’t have one week were everything went okay.

The guy kept yelling at Serena that we over charged him and that he refused to pay. Michael and Kyle were trying to calm him down but that just seemed to anger him more. I glanced around the room checking everyone. Ava was darting looks between Tess and the gunman, while Isabella was doing the same with Serena and him. Every once and a while they would look at the boys. Tess and Sarah were holding each other, then Alex was there holding them. Apparently he had snuck over to him. Serena wasn’t moving a muscle, all she could do was stare at the gun.

All the sudden he started demanding the money from the register. With shaky hands Serena went to open it. She was having trouble though and Michael went to help. It was like the gunman then realized the rest of us was there. He started yelling for all of us to get behind the counter, that way he could keep a close eye on us. We all complied slowly. When Michael reached the register the man flipped and started asking if there was a storage room or fridge. I told him about the storage room. He then demanded for us all to get into it. Right as he finished Serena finally got the register open.

He pushed us all into the small room and was asking where the lock was. Then noticed that it locked when you shut it from the outside. Right before he turned to leave Michael and Kyle nodded and rushed him. After what felt like hours but was probably seconds the gun went off 3 times. The light went out and all we heard was 2 bodies crumble to the floor and the door shut.


Tell me what you thank.

[kitkat405]

i just wanted to thank everyone for all their support and well wishes. Mom is out of the hospital. She is doing better but it looks like she going to be off work for a long time. This road is going to be long and hard but we are hopeful right now. I am working on the next part here and there and hope to have some time soon to sit down and write. again thank you for everything.

cassie