Finished Canon/Conventional Couple Fics. These stories pick up from events in the show. All complete stories from the main Canon/CC board will eventually be moved here.
Dedicated to: Timelord31, begonia9508, ISLANDGIRL5, nayney, *shiri&jensen4ever*.
Epilogue
Daric looked around and wondered where he was. Was this his purgatory? Was this his hell? The place that he was going to reside for the rest of his days, however long that was going to be. He had done the things that he was supposed to do, his job was finished and it was as simple as that. It had to be as simple as that. He had made the world into a place where he and his sisters would be happy, where there would be no fighting, no war would be going on. Just a simple existence.
This place didn’t seem so bad. Besides, who was he to complain about things? He had believed that he was just going to disappear and that was going to be the end of him. But it wasn’t. There was something here, a resting place for his soul, perhaps?
“Daric.”
He turned his head at the sound of the voice and tears filled his eyes. It couldn’t be real. It couldn’t be, but he knew that it was. It was the voice that haunted his life, haunted the dreams that he had always had. Sierra.
She looked beautiful. She was wearing the same thing that she had been wearing the last time that he had seen her. No matter what she had worn, no matter how simple it was, she was always so beautiful to him. Hell, she could be wearing a garbage bag and she would still be perfect to him. She was wearing a pair of faded blue jeans, and a green shirt with the words Honk if you love Jesus written across the front. Her hair was in the slight waves that he knew she always hated, but he loved them and wished that he’d told her before. When he’d had the chance.
No. He had the chance now. He had the chance to tell her everything that he had never told her before. Daric was going to do things the right way. He was going to make it all right with Sierra. He had her here with him. She had been right. Her soul recognized his own. They were supposed to be together and this was their time. No matter if they were to be reborn or not, they were here and they were together. No one was going to be able to take that away from them.
“Daric.”
“Sierra.” Daric finally responded and pulled her to him. How he loved the feel of this woman. He had kept just about all his feelings concerning her a secret from her, the worst thing that you could ever do to a person, he believed. Sierra Evans Valenti was his soul mate, the woman who he was made for. True, she had been his enemy, but that didn’t matter. The love that he felt for her was stronger than the hate that he was supposed to feel. Whatever this life was supposed to be for them, he would make it perfect. “You were right.”
“About what, Daric?” Sierra asked with a happy smile. She had been waiting for him. She had known that he was going to come to her, and she had been biding her time. It hadn’t even seemed like she was waiting a long time, it only felt like hours when she knew that it had really been days.
“About everything. Me telling my mom the truth. I know that it made things harder on her, but she did it. Everything is going to be better. And our souls did find each other again. My soul will find you no matter where you are. No matter where you try hiding from me. I will search the ends of the earth — the galaxy to find you. You are the only one for me, Sierra.” Daric told her, trailing his finger down her cheek. He was never going to deny the love that he felt for her, the way she made him complete. He knew that his mother loved Evans, he had seen it in her eyes, in her voice, in everything that she did. And he hated that she had had to pretend not to for such a long time. No one should ever have to deny the love that they felt.
“This is the path that God chose for us, Daric. It’s been our destiny to get to this point, and we will have a new path to walk on. And it will be better than this one. It will be easier. You and I will be friends, you and I will know each other our entire lives. We won’t be enemies. And we will never have to deny the love that we feel for one another.” Sierra said, closing her eyes. She knew Daric loved her, even if he hadn’t said the words to her. She knew that the words scared Daric, the way that he had grown up had made him scared to give too much to anyone who wasn’t family. That loving someone who wasn’t family made him vulnerable.
“Sierra Valenti, I love you more than my life itself and I regret not ever telling you before. I regret that I was scared, that I didn’t want what you showed me. But I will never deny you. I will never deny my love.” Daric admitted to her. He had never given a part of himself to someone who wasn’t his family. Family had been instilled so deeply inside of him. There were certain things that one didn’t just give away, and love was one of those things for him and his family. Love was the most sacred of emotions.
“Daric, I have a surprise for you. We’re not alone.” Sierra informed him with a wide smile on his face. She knew that it would make him happy and that was the thing that she wanted the most. To see him happy, to have a smile on his face, for him to be the teenager that he was supposed to be. Not to be the warrior that he had been trained to be.
“What?”
“Ibis and Soraya.” She said simply, motioning behind her.
Daric gasped and swallowed hard at the sight of his twin little sisters. His red headed sisters, who had simply loved life, being kids, having fun. His sisters who had been taken away too soon. Gone before they had known what happened. They were here! Not only did he have Sierra, but he had his sisters. Daric knew that no matter what this was, where he was, that everything was going to be alright. He had done what he was supposed to do, what had been his destiny and now everything was going to be alright. And that was all that mattered.
THE END.
Okay, not really. But for this story it is. I will post the prologue for I Am Me in a couple of days.
kittens, I am definitely considering writing a story about Daric and what happened with him and Max. What his life was like with Liz and Kellen/Khivar, which wasn’t a bad life.
Timelord31, The sequel is called I Am Me. Named after the Ashlee Simpson song. What can I say? Music definitely influences my stories. This song is the reason why this story came about.
begonia9508, Thanks for the feedback that you’ve left throughout this story.
nayney, LOL. Well, get ready cause here it comes.
*shiri&jensen4ever*, Who can’t love the amazing Jensen Ackles? I watched him on Days of Our Lives when he joined the show. Saw him only a little on Dark Angel, but love him on Supernatural. He was the only actor representative that I had in mind when I drew up his character in my mind. Don’t you just love Star Wars? I recently bought the original trilogy on DVD, and how fantastic was that series? I fell in love with Han Solo all over again. It’s all about Han and Leia.
Note: Now, I was gonna wait till later to post this, but my best friend decided that we needed to go out. Sad times, we are both a little down and out about the two soldiers in Iraq. Its hard to hear about things like that when you have loved ones over there. My thoughts and prayers are with the families.
-Amber
Disclaimer: Roswell characters belong to Katims, Metz, etc. Not me. I Am Me belongs to Ashlee Simpson.
Thanks for the fantastic banner, Anniepoo.
<center>I Am Me
Prologue</center>
Tess Harding was a pro at becoming a new person. It was just another game to her, a game that she had been taught when she was little. Her protector had forced her to learn how to be a new person, to change, to be like a chameleon. She had been given horrifying descriptions of what could happen to her if she didn’t do what she was supposed to. She had been told that if she fucked up that she would be dead in a minute. That she had enemies at every turn. Human and alien alike.
Even though her protector had hated everything human, he knew that they were of some use. And he had a weird love for movies, which was where he got the different names of who she’d been. The name that she went by now came from the movie Woman of the Year. But she had also been Catherine Holly, Susan Vance, Dominique Francon, Amy Kane and Lory Austen.
It had been a game that she had excelled at. It was her opportunity to become someone new. She liked being someone new, it was fun. Not that she didn’t like who she was, it was that she was so unsure about herself, about what was to become of her. She always knew that there wasn’t something quite right. Tess knew that she was Avalina of Alazne, she knew that her father was Hanar of Alazne. She knew who she was and where she came from, but still there was something not quite right in her memory. Something was off, but she never dared to talk to her protector about it.
Tess felt a certain power in her knowledge, knowing that her protector didn’t know what she knew. Yes, he did scare her by the things that he had always told her. What could happen if humans got their hands on her, what could happen if her enemies got their hands on her. But she knew the truth, whereas her protector didn’t. He only knew what he saw, he hadn’t known the truth about her life before. She remembered what her life had been like, she remembered the power that she has, remembered how it felt to be with her husband, the companionship, the trust, the friendship.
Love hadn’t been a part of the package with her and Zanier. At least not on her part. She knew that Zanier had loved her once, but something had changed during the course of their marriage. Tess knew that Avalina had been infatuated by the knowledge that the future king of Antar liked her, wanted her, and she knew what it meant to her family. So she had done her duty and gotten married to the heir of Antar. But she had never been in love with her husband and she was quite sure that her husband had realized later what real love was.
She had been in love with another man for the majority of her marriage. This other man had been her soul mate, this other man owned a piece of her. Each and every day she ached to be back with him, but she knew that the only way was for her to go back to Antar. And the only way to get back was with the Granolith, and her protector — Nasedo had made a deal with Khivar, even before she had even been born for her to have Zanier’s baby. A baby that she did not want to have. She did not want to have Max’s baby.
But that was her only hope to getting back to Antar, to stay alive, to get back home to Nathan. Tess was certain of the love that she had for him, it was the love that she ached for, the love that she craved for. Every day of her life she knew that she was missing that part of herself, and it only got worse each day. She was not happy here, in this life. This sad, sorry existence that she was living. A life that was so incomplete. She knew that the only way that she would be happy was to be with Nathan, but she knew that there was no way that she could get pregnant by Max on purpose, just for the sake of getting back to Antar.
Sure, she played it up for Nasedo, made him think that she was trying with Max. But inside, she knew that she wanted more. Max didn’t make her feel good, he didn’t make her feel complete. She felt the same thing that she felt for him back on Antar, friendship, trust, companionship. Some days she felt that she was going to reach her peak of loneliness and despair, but somehow she managed to get through it. Kyle and Jim Valenti both made her feel wanted, like she could be part of their family.
Tess didn’t know what she was going to do, and that scared her. She was scared that she would become desperate. And she knew that when people got desperate they did things that were dangerous, that hurt people. She had been taught by a pro, a master— who she had seen on more than one occasion get desperate and dangerous. She only hoped when it was her time, that she knew what she was going to do and she didn’t make the mistakes that Nasedo had made. That was why he was dead and she had no intention of ending up like him.
What's she got that I don't have
Does she fill those spaces that I left you
When you wake up everynight
Does the scent of regret ever haunt you
Put this under your skin
I am me and I won't change for anyone
Me and I won't change for anyone
For anyone like you
Does the weight of consequence
Drag you down until it pulls you under
Does she lend an eager hand to save you
From the future of being with her
Are you with her?
Put this under her skin
I am me and I won't change for anyone
Me and I won't change for anyone
For anyone like you
Why would I, Why would I change
Why would I change
Put this under your skin
Dedicated to: Smac, Timelord31, begonia9508, *shiri&jensen4ever*, Sookie.
Note: I’m so sorry about the wait on this chapter. I seriously have been distracted for the past few weeks. Been helping my older sister get ready for the birth of her new baby. Which was born yesterday morning, so I am now the proud aunt to another girl. This one's name is Lilliana Alivia. Not sure on when the next chapter will be out though, seeing as this coming Tuesday is my 23rd birthday. Where does the time fly? Anyways, here is the next chapter. Enjoy.
-Amber
Chapter One
November 11, 2000
Tess didn’t know what hit her until it was too late. She had been sleeping, enjoying a dream about a beach in the south pacific, dreaming that she was sipping a margarita when she knew that in real life she couldn’t have one. Boy, how she savored that margarita in her dream, it was perfect. And the next thing she knew she was being dragged to her feet. The sight before her was something that she had never seen before, something that she had never imagined could happen. But it was happening to her.
She was surrounded by a group of people who didn’t look altogether friendly. Hell, they looked like they wanted to kick her ass, and she knew what it was about and she had no clue what she was going to do or say. She had been used to the look of hate before, but it was in all of their faces. Except for one, in one face was complete pity. Alex Whitman was looking at her with pity in his eyes.
“What’s going on?” Tess finally asked, waiting for the fall out. She had been taught by the best and she knew what she had to do. Cover her tracks. There was nothing else for her to do, she knew that she hadn’t slipped up but they still found out she had done something. But what was it that they knew?
“We know all about your plans, Tess. We know that you are working with Khivar and you are going to get Alex to decode the destiny book so you can try to leave Earth. We know that you have a deal to go back to Antar, carrying my baby.” Max forced out of his mouth. It had been two days since Daric had come and they had learnt everything. Two of the longest days in his life. Once he and Liz had told the others about what was going to happen, it had taken all of their willpower not to do something, Max had wanted to wait and take her by surprise. And by the look on her face, they had definitely taken her by shock.
Tess forced herself not to show any emotion. They knew about the deal with Khivar? How could they know about that? The only ones that knew about that were her, Nasedo and Khivar. There was no logical way that they could know about the deal. The deal that she wanted no part of, the deal that she couldn’t ever see herself doing. How could they have found out about it? And what the hell was this idea of her getting Alex to decode the destiny book? “I don’t know what your talking about.”
“Oh come off of it, Tess. We know about the whole plan. We know what you are up to and there is no way in hell that we are going to let you get away with it. I will kill you before I let you even try anything against any one of us.” Michael exploded, unable to keep back any longer. He was angry that they had been deceived by this girl who was one of them. They had brought her into their group when they had been so unsure of her, they had let her in because she was supposed to be with them. But it had been a mistake all along. She had never once been on their side.
“Tess, we’re not the idiots that you believe us to be. We know everything. And we’re not going to let it happen. I can tell by your face that you don’t understand how we know about your entire plans, so I’ll explain it to you.” Liz began with a small smile at the blonde girl. Tess looked so small and innocent lying here with her hands bound, unable to do anything about her situation.
“No. Don’t tell her. She doesn’t deserve to know, Liz.” Maria growled, angry that Liz was even going to tell her the whole story. Tess didn’t deserve to know how they had found out about her dastardly plans. The things that she was going to do, the people that she was going to hurt. The witch deserved to be hurt, nothing else.
Tess didn’t bother looking at Maria DeLuca. She had known a long time ago that the other girl didn’t like her, so she had never bothered with her. She hadn’t come to Roswell to make friends with humans, she had been dragged along side Nasedo, who was desperate to find the other royals. Desperate to get achieve some power over them. Tess never had a say in anything that he had done, she had been forced to come here. Forced to come face to face with a past that she had tried to hide from for most of her life.
Tess concentrated on using her powers to mind warp them, but all she felt was a huge block. They had done something to disable her powers. There was nothing that she could do, she was going to be subjected to this. What the hell was this anyway? Seven teenagers interrogating her about alien plots, telling her that she had plans, that she was planning things that she didn’t even know about.
“Tess, don’t bother trying to use your powers. Remember when Nasedo rescued me from the White Room? I’m guessing that he never bothered to tell you that he supplied us with those nifty drugs that disable our powers. Just in case. Now, I wonder why he thought they were so important to get?” Max informed her grimly as he recognized the look of concentration on her face. It was her game face, he realized.
Tess kept quiet at his words. She knew why Nasedo had gotten that stuff from the Special Unit. Oh how she knew. Just in case something went wrong when they went back to Antar. Nasedo had the entire thing planned out, the whole despicable plan that Tess attempted to tune out. She hadn’t wanted to think that Nasedo would actually go through with the plans that he had, but if he was alive, would he?
Damn it. It didn’t matter about if he would have gone through with it or not. He was gone. The man that had been her mother and her father, her protector. And she was left all alone. How sad was it to say that Nasedo had been the only person there for her. He had been there since she was six years old. None of these people had ever been there for her. Not Max, not Isabel, not Michael. Kyle was the only person that seemed to care about her somewhat. Kyle and Jim had been the only ones who ever made her feel like she belonged. These people were supposed to make her feel like she belonged.
Though Max had once been her husband back on Antar, she harbored no illusions about him now. She knew that Max Evans was in no way shape or form the same as Zan. He wasn’t her friend whereas Zan had been a friend. Zan and she had such a good relationship, they had been companions, friends. Max Evans only had eyes for Liz Parker, which didn’t make Tess all that sad. She knew that she had a higher purpose, a better destiny awaiting her. But maybe it was just the feeling of possession that made her dislike Liz. The undeniable goodness that was Liz Parker.
“Twice in the past two weeks the future came crashing back to me. Did you know that the Granolith is capable of such power, Tess? That someone can come back? Anyway, I got a visit from Max from the future and he informed me that because you left that our enemies were going to defeat us. That I had to change things, make sure that you weren’t going to leave. So in order to do that, in order to make you stay here in Roswell, in order to make Max become closer to you, I pretended to sleep with Kyle. It changed things and Future Max left. But not even a week later, I got another visit. This time it was from my son in the future.” Liz explained to Tess. She got the feeling that maybe it wasn’t too late for Tess Harding. Maybe there was some goodness left inside of her. She knew that the thing that mattered to her the most was for Tess getting back to Nathan. It was the place that she wanted to be.
Tess bit down on her lip as she listened to Liz Parker’s words. She had known that the Granolith was capable of a magnitude of power, but this was definitely something she hadn’t known. No wonder Khivar wanted it back. But why hadn’t Nasedo taken the Granolith and gone back to Antar? What had stopped him? Going home was the only thing that he had wanted and he’d known where the Granolith was the entire time, but he had never taken advantage of it. Why? What was missing?
“I can tell by the look on your face that your shocked. My son came back from another future. A world that was filled with nothing but blood and loss. In this new time line, you decided that you wanted to go home and you didn’t care at what costs. You got Alex to decode your so called destiny book because for all of your knowledge about your life on Antar, you don’t know how to read Antarian. You killed Alex and you got pregnant by Max in order to go back to Antar with his child. The plan was for the four of you to go back to Antar and Khivar was going to kill all of them. Only you and your child were to live.” Liz continued, as she watched the shock in Tess’ eyes and she knew that she was right in what she believed. There was something that could be saved. The Tess that was here in front of them right now was not the desperate person who was going to take Alex’s life and get pregnant to save herself.
Tess swallowed hard at those words. It was hard for her to comprehend that she was going to do those things. She was going to kill someone? She was going to kill Alex Whitman? Jeez, she barely had anything to do with him and he was a member of this happy bunch. If he hadn’t even been involved in any of this, she was sure that she would never exchange a single word to him. Here she was being told that she was going to kill him, going to get pregnant by Max in order to have his baby to get home. That was the thing that she feared. Getting desperate. Had she really gotten so desperate that she had done these things? Had she been reunited with Nathan in that life?
“Your thinking about Nathan aren’t you? Has that always been your plan? The goal that you set for yourself?” Max asked caustically, wondering just how much more there was to learn about the small blonde in front of him. It hurt him to know the things that she was going to do, she was the same as him. She was supposed to be part of their group, one of them. To know what she was going to do, made him question everything that she had done and said in the past eight months since she had been here in Roswell. He had been played for a fool the entire time.
“We’re going to go after Nathan, Tess. We’re going to make sure that he doesn’t live. How do you like that? We’re going to take away the one thing that you’ve wanted most in the world.” Michael erupted in anger. He wanted to lash out at her for all that she was going to do. She had been allowed into the group, because she was one of them, but she was really nothing but a liar and a fraud. To her it was a game, just a means to an end. Getting to her precious Nathan was all that mattered to her. And Michael was going to make sure that didn’t happen.
Tess forced herself not to change the look on her face at Michael’s words. Just the thought of something happening to him was enough to break her. How crazy was this entire situation. She hadn’t even meet Nathan in this lifetime and already there was nothing that she wouldn’t do for him. She needed him in her life more than she’d ever needed anyone else. But how the hell were they going to go after Nathan? As far as she knew, he wasn’t here, he hadn’t been brought down to earth. He was back on Antar, waiting for her to come back to him. Waiting for their life to begin once again, and this time there was no reason for them not to be together. She wasn’t married to Max.
But Michael’s words gave her some hope. He knew something that she didn’t know. There was something more that he wanted to say, but he knew better. Nathan was still alive, and if Michael said that they were going to get him than it meant that he had to be here. Nathan had to be somewhere here on Earth. There was no way that Michael had meant that they would go to Antar and take care of him. She wanted to scream from the top of her lungs, let everyone know that Nathan was still alive. Somewhere on Earth, he was here and he was waiting for her.
“Does Khivar know where we are at? Was Whitaker working with him?” Isabel couldn’t help but ask. What she did to Whitaker still ate away at her. It hadn’t even been a month since it had happened, since Tess had been kidnaped and Whitaker held her hostage. But had it been a ploy the entire time? To get them all to feel defenseless? Some of the things that they had learnt didn’t add up in Isabel’s mind and it made her question things. If Tess was working with Whitaker and Whitaker was working with Khivar, than why wasn’t Tess with Nathan, if that was what she wanted? Tess didn’t know where Nathan was, so was Tess really working with them? It didn’t add up and Isabel wanted to know why.
“I don’t know what your talking about, Isabel. I was kidnaped by Whitaker, she hurt me. Why the hell would I be working with her? What do you think that we planned it? We made sure that she would hurt me? That you would come to find me?” Tess shot back, angry at her questions. She hadn’t even the slightest clue as to the fact that Whitaker was a Skin, not until the night that she was kidnaped. Her injuries had been real, they hadn’t been faked. What had happened to her had been horrible, and how dare Isabel doubt what had happened.
“Pretty convenient of you. Of the both of you. To try to get to me. Make me doubt myself. I have to admit that it almost worked. Almost, I’m not the betrayer, you are, Tess. You are the one that betrayed us in the past, just as surely as you will now. But I won’t let it happen.” Isabel retorted, even though on some level, she knew that her words weren’t one hundred percent correct. She had done something in the past, she had been used in the past, but she wasn’t going to let that happen now.
Isabel had come clean with all of them about what Whitaker had told her. It had taken so much out of her to admit to what she had been told, that she had betrayed her family, her brother for a man. How horrible was that? They had taken it better than Isabel had taken it herself. It definitely helped that Max had heard about it from Liz’s son from the future. When he told her what he knew, Isabel had cried. She cried like a baby in her brother’s arms and told him that there was no way that she could have done that to him. That betraying him was the last thing that she would ever do in this world.
“I never betrayed anyone on Antar, Isabel. Not that you would know. You don’t remember what your life was like. But I remember the world that I lived in, I remember the life I lived. And I know that I didn’t betray anyone. Maybe I was involved with someone that I shouldn’t have been involved with, but I didn’t betray my family.” Tess insisted, speaking lightly about what had happened on Antar. There was so much history that these people didn’t know. “What are you going to do with me? Kill me?”
“Killing you isn’t what we have in mind, Tess. But you don’t have to worry about that right now.” Michael informed her. There were many things that Michael wished that he could do, but right now they needed to back off and get a little perspective about things. What were they going to do about Tess? The idea of ambushing her had seemed like a good idea when they’d thought of it. But Tess wasn’t admitting to anything that she was going to do. Well, hell, had they really expected her to admit to it? Had they expected Tess Harding to say, ‘Yes, I’m planning to get pregnant by Max and take all of you to your deaths.’ He’d be a special kind of stupid if he believed that she would have admitted that.
Tess kept her mouth shut at his words. She couldn’t tell if he was being serious. Hell, she hadn’t even been serious when she had suggested death for herself. She knew that Michael was capable of it, he had done it once before. But it hadn’t been a thought out plan of death. It had just happened, the same way that Whitaker had died by Isabel’s hands. Accidents. None of them had been raised to be murderers. None of them had been raised by murderers. None of them, but her. When push came to shove, Tess knew what she had to do.
“I can’t stand to look at her face anymore.” Maria said disgusted. She didn’t know what the hell they were going to do with Tess Harding. All she knew was that every moment that she stayed here watching the blonde that she was getting more agitated and frustrated by the minute. Tess was going to destroy all of them, slowly but surely. She was going to start with Alex and than the rest of them would follow. Taking one final look at the other girl, Maria left the room with a huff.
Liz looked over at Max after Maria had walked out of the room. Maria DeLuca’s temper was legendary in Roswell, but what people didn’t know was that they should be more frightened of her quietness. When Maria’s anger was silent, it was deadly. Liz knew that only she could probably calm down Maria from doing something crazy. Liz saw the look of understanding in Max’s eyes and she took that as her cue to leave. And upon Liz’s departure, Alex and Kyle followed.
Tess watched as the humans left the room. She was worried about Kyle, did he really believe everything that they had told him about her? Just the idea of her using Alex to get the destiny book decoded was stupid. Sure, everyone knew that Alex was smart, a computer whiz, and just as smart as Liz. But why would she have done such a thing? Had she gotten that desperate? That she had forced someone to decode the book and than she killed him. Thrown him aside like he was nothing? She was a lot of things, but she wasn’t a murderer. At least, not in this life.
“You know, Maria’s right. I can’t even look at you without being disgusted. To think that I thought you could be someone that I could care about. How dare you.” Isabel stated icily, unable to take anymore. When she had found out that Tess was one of them, it had seemed like a relief. A relief to know that she wasn’t the only woman alone, that there was someone who was like her. And she had hoped that she and Tess could be friends, they were the same kind, they had to be friends. But they had been anything but. Yes, there were times that they had attempted to be friends, but it always seemed to Isabel that Tess was holding back. That she was hiding part of herself from all of them. Now, Isabel knew why she had always gotten that feeling.
Michael took in a harsh breath as he watched Isabel leave the room also. He had no idea what the hell was going to happen next. What were they going to do with Tess? He honestly hadn’t thought that far ahead. Even though he had told her killing her wasn’t what they had in mind, he knew that if he had to do it than he would. He thought that the best thing to do was to let her stew, make her wonder what was going to happen to her. There was still things that they had to talk about, especially whether or not they believed what Tess said. Michael looked over at Tess one more time and took it as his cue to leave. Let Max deal with her right now.
Max finally turned back to Tess, saw that she had to be uncomfortable in the position that she was sitting in, but he forced himself not to care. He had never wanted for things to turn out this way. He wanted to believe Tess in what she said, that she didn’t know what they were talking about, but the fear of Daric’s future was hanging over all of their heads. Max was determined to make sure that didn’t happen. But at what costs would he make sure it didn’t happen? Would they kill Tess? It was something that had been talked about, but talking about it was different than actually going through with it.
“I’m going to leave you here for a while, Tess. And when I come back, I have a feeling that you are going to be in a more talkative mood.” Max told her, walking out of the room. He thought that they had done a good job in controlling their emotions. When they had talked about this, things had gotten kinda crazy. Emotions had been rampant, things had been thrown — by Maria of course, — and tears had been shed. If he had to kill her, than it was something that he was going to have to live with. But he was hoping that he wouldn’t have to.
Tess let out a sob once Max closed the door behind him. What the hell was going on? She didn’t understand it, she didn’t understand how this had happened. The Granolith was capable of time travel? That was something new to her. What else didn’t she know? Had Nasedo kept that from her on purpose, and if so, why? It didn’t matter what she knew or didn’t know, all she knew was that she had to get away from this place. She knew that she hadn’t done anything wrong, but she was supposedly going to do something wrong in the next few months.
The serum was still in her system, so it was useless to try to use her powers. But whoever had tied her up hadn’t done such a fantastic job. Sure, they were tight, but they were also slightly loose. Enough for her to worm her way out of them. Slowly and surely, she was going to get herself out of these ropes. She had to form a plan, decide what she was going to do. Part of her wanted to run away from this place and another part of her wanted to shout at them, tell them that she wasn’t the enemy. That she hadn’t done anything.
But she had to find Nathan. Michael had opened his mouth enough. Had pretty much admitted to her that he was alive somewhere. There were so many places that he could be, did he even know where she was? When the orbs had been set off months ago, had Nathan heard it? There were so many different possibilities that she could choose from. She would die trying to find him, to get back to him. To be with the man that had loved her with so much passion and fire.
Finally breaking out of her ropes, Tess crept out of the room as quietly as possible, not even knowing where she was going. She stood up against the wall, when she heard the conversation coming from the living room. How hard was it for her to have a normal life? To be a plain, old girl with a boyfriend and boring things to worry about. Okay, maybe that really wasn’t what she wanted anyway. This was the only life that she knew.
“ — let her find out about Nathan. She had no clue about him.” Max said pointedly, especially letting Michael know that he was talking to him.
Tess bit down on her lip at Max’s words. What was it that Max knew about Nathan? He was alive out there somewhere. He was out there without her around. Hell, what was he going to think when he saw her? Tess knew that she didn’t even resemble the woman that she had once been, she was so different from her former self, and she was different on the inside. Oh, would he be disappointed in her? She didn’t know what she would do if he was. Her entire life was about what would happen once she found him. How their life together would be.
“Michael, you have to go to Courtney’s tonight and find out what she knows about Nathan and Kellen. She’s the only known Skin to be alive, and we need to find out everything that she knows. I mean, we know where they are, where she’s from, but we don’t know them like she does.” Isabel told him, even though she was worried about what would happen if they were brought into her life.
Tess narrowed her eyes at the mention of Courtney Banks. Someone that she hadn’t paid any attention to, though it was now obvious that she should have. This was where she was going to find her answers.
LOL. So I just decided to post the chapter now. Hope you guys enjoy.
Chapter Two
Her feet were bleeding, but she didn’t care. None of it mattered to her, every step that she was taking took her closer to finding the answers. How she wished that there was someone who could understand her predicament. But even if she had friends, they wouldn’t understand what it was like to be a seventeen year old reincarnated alien girl, who had once been the queen of a planet. But had been in love with someone else for the majority of her marriage. Who would rather lose the crown and throne if it meant getting back the man that she loved.
Oh well, it sucked to be Tess Harding.
She was currently running down the streets of Roswell in her pajamas. Her very expensive Victoria’s Secret blue satin pajamas that had strawberries on the tops and bottoms. No shoes and no socks. But it didn’t matter as long as she got herself to Courtney Banks apartment, where she was going to find her answers.
Courtney Banks was a Skin and Tess hadn’t known anything about it. It was just something else that they had kept from her. Something else that she hadn’t known. When exactly had they found out? Thinking back, Tess tried to remember what she knew about Courtney Banks. She knew that the girl had started working at the Crashdown in June. It had been after school had ended, and Liz had taken off for Florida. Tess had noticed her of course, but for some reason, whenever she had gone into the Crashdown, Courtney had never been her waitress. Tess had heard Maria’s rants that Courtney had her eye on Michael, but sometimes when Maria talked, Tess just tuned out.
It wasn’t that she was trying to be rude, but because she knew that Maria could care less about what Tess thought. She was constantly thought of as the outsider of the group, even though she knew that she was supposed to be with them. Her life could have turned out so differently if she had left her pod at the same time as the others. But for some reason, she had stayed in hers longer than the rest of them. It was a question that she asked herself over and over, but she could never figure it out. And now there was no way that she could ever ask Nasedo about it. He was dead. But if he hadn’t been, she knew that he would have given her the run around.
He had given her the run around her entire life. Every day of her life there were so many questions that she asked, answers that she needed to know. Why were her memories of the past so strong? When she found the others, her family would they remember everything like she did? She had honestly believed that once they were found that she would feel like she belonged, that there was finally someone who cared about her. But she had been thrown for a loop when she had come to Roswell and realized that they knew nothing about the past. They were like children, worrying about the wrong things. If the girl they liked loved them, not worrying about the fate of their home.
It wasn’t their fault for the way that they had been raised. They had been raised by humans and forced themselves to repress everything. She knew that they had their memories somewhere inside of them, just waiting for the chance to come out, but they were scared. Scared of their past. Max had this obsession with Liz Parker that she just didn’t understand, which was so utterly different than the man that she remembered. Zanier hadn’t been that way. Yes, he loved Avalina once a long time ago, but he had finally realized that the love he’d felt was actually infatuation and had turned into respect.
Avalina had watched as her husband had fallen into a deep, forbidden love with Neith. Forbidden on many levels, because Zanier was married, because Neith was destined to be alone. A savage warrior, an avenger. A woman who was supposed to be by herself and not to fall into that trap that was called love. Avalina had watched, had cared, but had not been jealous. By that time, she had fallen desperately in love with Nathan. There had been many times that she had wondered if Zanier had known the truth about her and Nathan, but she had never been certain.
Maybe Max had more of Zanier in him than she realized. In a strange way, the obsessive love he had for Liz was the same as the love for Neith. Everything was second when it came to Liz Parker, the same was said for Neith. She had known Neith, met her on occasions, and she could understand what the allure had been, and in a hauntingly familiar way Liz had it. Tess forced herself to stop thinking about it all once she reached Courtney’s apartment. She wished that her powers were back in full force so she could make sure that she was getting all the answers, but they still weren’t back yet. But she had the feeling that Courtney Banks wouldn’t lie to her.
Tess quickly found her way through the apartments to where Courtney was located and tried to decide on a plan of action. Should she throw herself into Courtney’s apartment and demand answers, ask nicely and see where that got her? Before she could decide what to do, the door swung open and she found herself face to face with the Skin. For the first time in months, Tess looked her over and wondered why she had never paid her any attention. This Skin held the key to where Nathan was.
“Tess. What are you doing here?” Courtney asked suspiciously, eyeing the small blonde. She had never really paid much attention to Tess Harding, she wasn’t the one that interested Courtney. Michael was the only one that held her interest. The one who should have taken the throne over from Zanier.
“I want answers, Courtney.” Tess stated simply. There was no way around it. The rest of her life depended on the answers that she was going to get. The inevitable question that had haunted her since she was younger: was she destined to be alone? Her entire life she had been alone, Nasedo had never been there for her. She’d been the loner, never even allowed to be present on the day that school took pictures. All she wanted was to have her family surround her, not to ever go through life being alone again.
Courtney’s eyes widened at Tess’ words and realized that she knew that something was going on. She knew that it was only a matter of time before Michael told the rest of them that she was a Skin. She was still waiting for the fall out on that issue, but no one had come after her. None of them had questioned her and she didn’t know why, but she hadn’t been about to go to them herself and talk to them. Courtney knew that she would have to sooner or later, but she preferred to wait until later. She would have to explain to them that she wasn’t the enemy, tell them that they didn’t even know what was going on.
“Come in, Tess. Jeez, are you okay? You’re bleeding.” Courtney realized when she saw the blood pooling on the ground. It was only than that she realized that Tess was in her pajamas. What the hell had happened to make Tess come to her house at ten o’clock in the morning in her pajamas, without shoes on, blood on her feet? She ushered the smaller girl into her apartment and guided her to the couch, not caring about the blood that was getting on her carpet. Hell, she could always clean that up later.
Tess sat down on the small couch with a heavy sigh and looked at her feet. The bleeding wasn’t as bad as she had expected. It was slowing down and it didn’t hurt all that much. The pain was nothing compared to what her life had been like, she thought melancholy. But it didn’t have to be that way anymore, she was the one who had the power to make her own life. She had the power to change her destiny, if she wasn’t happy with things, than she could blame no one, but herself. Nasedo had been responsible for many things in her life, but he was gone and now she was in charge.
“I’m fine, Courtney. I need you to tell me where you came from. I know that you’re a Skin. Where did you come from? Who do you know?” Tess questioned quietly, trying to stay in control of her emotions. Another thing that she had been taught by Nasedo — staying in control. Never let your enemy see your emotions. And as far as she knew, Courtney was an enemy of hers.
“Michael told you, didn’t he? I’ve been waiting for you guys to bust down my door. So what do you know, Tess? Better question is, what do you want to know? What exactly do you want to know?” Courtney asked without preamble. She knew that Tess Harding had come to her for a reason, for which she didn’t know. Or did she know why the girl had come here?
“How much do you know about what happened to the royal family? Who were you back on Antar? And how did you get here?” Tess asked, even though the first question on her mind was about Nathan, she was going to hold off. Max and the others probably had no idea where she had gone to, so she wasn’t pressed for time. Her answers would come to her and there was no need for her to hurry them.
“Cosette was my name. Don’t you remember me, Avalina? I was one of the ladies in the court. Well, that’s what I started out as. I was one of Vilandra’s ladies, and it was after she got involved with Khivar that my interest began to change and I saw the fight, the struggle that was going on with our people. That Rathard was the only one who could make things right with the people. He had a good relationship with Khivar, he was well liked by the people, he was the only one who could fix the mistakes that were being made. Two half brothers fighting over the throne. You remember that, don’t you, Avalina? Zanier and Khivar were half brothers? Just like he was your half brother?” Courtney informed Tess, wondering just how much the other girl knew. She had always suspected that Tess knew a lot about the past, but Courtney assumed that there were still blanks in her mind.
“I remember, Courtney. I didn’t even know that I had a brother until I was eleven years old. He had been raised away from me, as nothing but a bastard to the Baron Hanar of Alazne. I can still remember the first time that I meet him, he was beautiful to me. My brother.” Tess said softly, getting lost in the memories that were hers, but than again weren’t. This was the whole frustrating thing about being her, some days she didn’t know exactly who she was. The girl that she played the part of each and every time she and Nasedo moved around or Avalina, Baroness of Alazne, future queen of Antar?
Courtney watched Tess silently and couldn’t help but wonder what the hell was going on inside of her head. It must be a trip to be Tess Harding. To know that you are the reincarnated version of Avalina. To have memories, to think that they belonged to you, but to know that they didn’t? At least, Courtney knew who she was, she had never changed being the person that she was. Sure, her name had changed, but it didn’t make her feel less that who she was. Courtney Banks was her name here on Earth, a name that she was comfy with, but a name that she knew wasn’t completely hers.
“Is he here on Earth, Courtney? Is my brother here?” Tess asked quietly, though she already knew what the answer was. She could feel it inside of her. Khivar was here on Earth, and wherever it was Courtney came from, was where he was also. He had to know where they were at, he just had to. Courtney had found them, and it was only a matter of time before Khivar came for them. What would happen when he came?
“Yes, he’s here, Tess. But he’s also on Antar. After Zanier and Vilandra’s mother sent the royals down here to Earth, and than he heard the rumors that Neith had also been brought down here to Earth by two of her priestesses, Naolin and Rushil. So he decided to send us down to Earth and with us, he sent the clones of a number of people. Trusted advisors, friends and himself. Khivar is on Antar, and his clone is here on Earth.” Courtney admitted, watching as Tess’ eyes widened at her words. She saw Tess take in everything that she said, and she wondered if maybe she should have said it less candidly. She forgot all about these damn human emotions that they felt.
Tess bit down on her lip at Courtney’s words. There were two different Khivar’s? What the hell had he been thinking? To have his own clone brought down to Earth. Was he that afraid to leave Antar, worried that the Antarians would win if he wasn’t around. She didn’t understand her brother’s logic, but this proved to her that Nathan had to be here. Nathan had to be here somewhere on Earth. Her brother wasn’t even dead on Antar, and he had brought his own clone down. What the hell would happen if there were two Nathan’s?
“Neith is here on Earth? Does Khivar know where she’s at?” Tess asked, forcing the question out of her mouth. She didn’t quite know how to characterize her relationship with Neith. She couldn’t say that she hated the other woman, because she hadn’t. She knew that she sure as hell resented Neith, just because she realized how much power the other woman yielded over her husband. Even if Avalina hadn’t been in love with her husband, she still hadn’t liked the fact that her husband was so awe struck over the other woman.
“No. Khivar doesn’t know where she’s at. But he knows where the four of you are now. Ever since you sent that signal in May, we have known where you are. Kellen has been biding his time, trying to think about what is the right thing to do. His advisors tell him that it’s best if he wait, let all of you think that he’s not here and than take action.” Courtney explained, cracking a smile. She had to admit one thing about Kellen, he trusted too many people. But than again, he had been raised by his advisors. His childhood hadn’t been that of an ordinary humans childhood. Even at his young age, there had been so many different expectations placed on him. Ceyla was about the only adult who had never placed any expectations on poor Kellen. In fact, she had been like a mother to him. A mother to all of the clones.
“Kellen? Who’s that?” Tess asked anxiously, wondering for a brief moment if that was in fact Nathan. If he was here on Earth, did he have a different name, did he have a different life? This was so weird, she had no idea what she was supposed to expect out of all of this. Just the same way, Tess knew that she had many similarities that Avalina had, she also had a lot of differences. She knew that she looked nothing like Avalina, she was one hundred percent different in the looks department.
“Kellen is the name of Khivar’s clone. Well, he doesn’t like being called a clone. None of them do. Some of them have changed their names so they can blend in more. He chose that name because it means powerful.” Courtney informed her. She could sense that Tess was at a loss for words upon hearing that her brother was here on earth. That her brother went by a new name. And for a moment, Courtney felt sorry for the other girl. She didn’t know what it was like to be in her position, nor did she ever want to know.
“Is Nathan there, Courtney? Is he with Kellen? I need to know. Is he there?” Tess said, moving quickly so that she was grasping Courtney’s arms. She knew that during the time Avalina had been alive on Antar, that she and Nathan had done a pretty good job of not letting anyone know about their relationship. Only a handful of people knew the status of their relationship, and she doubt that Courtney knew. The only way that anyone could have known about it was after her death on Antar. But Nathan wouldn’t have said anything about it. That wasn’t the kind of man that he was. He wouldn’t have let anyone make something ugly out of their beautiful relationship.
Courtney narrowed her eyes at Tess’ words and realized that there had been more going on than she had known. It was strange, since she had watched as Khivar’s clone, as Kellen had grown up, and maybe that was why she wasn’t one of those who were close to him. Courtney didn’t know Kellen or Nathan all that well. For most of their young lives, they had been shielded away from the rest of them, that was by Ceyla’s request. Something that most of them hadn’t liked, but they had allowed it. It wasn’t until they were teenagers that they got more involved. And it was after this that Courtney got to know Nathan more than Kellen. What exactly was Tess interest in Nathan?
“What’s your interest in Nathan, Tess? Tell me. I want to know why you are so interested in knowing if Nathan is alive or not. If Nathan is there with Kellen or not. Tell me.” Courtney demanded, feeling that she already knew what the answer was. And she couldn’t believe that she hadn’t seen it back on Antar, that she hadn’t paid attention to what was going on with Avalina. But than again, no one had really paid her much attention. But now, Courtney realized it. Avalina had played her part so perfectly. Everyone believed that she was nothing but a faithful wife, and that was why a blind eye had been turned concerning her.
“Courtney, tell me. Let me see him. Please. I need to see him.” Tess begged, not caring how she sounded to the Skin. When it came to Nathan, she would beg and plead, and get down on her knees just to get the answers that she wanted. Tess reached up and put her hands on both sides of Courtney’s face, her blue eyes pleading with the other girl. Tess refused to let Courtney look away from her.
As much as Courtney wished that she could look away from Tess Harding, she knew that she couldn’t. She saw all of Tess’ pain in her eyes, she saw everything and knew that she had been right in what she thought. Avalina had an affair with Nathan back on Antar. Her love and loyalties had laid with Khivar. How ironic that both Zanier’s wife and sister had been in collusion with the enemy. And for some reason, Courtney couldn’t help but sympathize with Tess, the desperation that was in her voice. She had never heard that in anyone’s voice before. “Fine. I’ll let you see him.”
And that was the only warning Courtney gave Tess before the connection was forced and nearly slammed her to the ground.
Courtney shrugged her shoulders at Elias’ words. She sure as hell didn’t agree with him about it, but she was going to go through with what he said. Scour the state of Texas to look for the royals. Didn’t Elias realize just how large the state of Texas was? It was the second largest state in the US. No matter what, she was going to do the job that she had to do. Elias was one of the top advisors to Kellen, and his word was just about law around here.
At the sound of laughter on the other side of the room, Courtney looked over and saw Nathan with Serina. It was odd, she thought to herself. They looked and they acted as if they were a couple, seemed perfectly suited for one another. Nathan, tall with his blonde good looks and Serina, with her mink brown hair. From what she saw of them, they suited one another. Had the same sense of humor, when they were together they were forever laughing about something or other.
“What’s so funny with them?” Courtney couldn’t help but ask at the noise that the two were causing on the other side. She wished that she could be that way, be able to laugh and have a good time. But no, day in and day out it was all the same. Forever searching for the royals, trying to found out as much information as possible. Endless leads that only ended in disappointment.
“Oh, kids you know. They just graduated from their high school.” Elias said, shrugging his shoulders at her words.
Courtney continued watching the two across the room, laugh and shove each other. And she couldn’t help but find it funny. Serina was Neith’s sister, and here she was living with the people Neith would probably have considered her enemies. And it appeared that Serina was happy with where she was at and what her life was like. “Strange sometimes when you think about the fact that Neith’s sister is here with us. I still can’t believe that she joined up with us after her sister and Zanier died.”
“Yes, well. Semiramis made her choice and she’s loyal as ever. She’s happy here.” Elias replied, watching Serina with a close eye. “It actually is my hope that Serina and Nathan end up together.”
Courtney cocked an eyebrow at his words. So were the rumors true? That Semiramis and Nathan had a ‘thing’ back on Antar? Was that why Elias wanted for them to be together? Courtney supposed that if the two of them had children together, that those kids would be Kellen’s heirs. As far as she knew, Kellen hadn’t been involved with anyone, most likely waiting for something more. Perhaps Neith? Children, that’s all they were. Children playing at being their former selves. What was it going to be like once they found the royal four? How were things going to change?
Tess let out a sharp breath once the connection was severed. She had seen him. Oh, how she had seen him. He looked so different from when she had last seen him. It didn’t matter to her though how different he looked, he was still amazing to her. Seeing him through Courtney’s eyes, it made it all worthwhile. Her entire life was finally worth something now that she had seen him, now that she knew he was still alive. All she had to do now was to get to him, find him and be with him. Nothing else mattered.
What was with that girl that was with Nathan? Semiramis was here on Earth also? The way that they were embracing one another in Courtney’s flash filled Tess with jealousy. But she knew that she shouldn’t be jealous or angry, she was the one that was going to be with Nathan. It didn’t matter who this other girl was, in the end Tess Harding was going to end up with him. Now that she knew he was alive and here on Earth, it was her reason for living. It was her goal, to finally be with the man that she loved.
Disclaimer: The idea of the spice came from the movie Dune, which does not belong to me. Belongs to Frank Herbert. Just borrowing the idea.
Dedicated to: pandas2001, Timelord31, *shiri&jensen4ever*. Thanks for the feeback that you guys leave for me. It means alot to me to know that there are people that read this and do respond to the story. YOU guys are the reason why I continue to write this story and why I know that I can't give up.
Now, I will be trying my hardest not to keep you guys waiting quite so long for more chapters. Just get on my butt in case I take too long, okay?
LOL.
-Amber
Chapter Three
“Where are you from? Where are they, Courtney?” Tess asked, regaining her voice. As much as she wanted to know more about what was going on with Nathan, she knew that there were other questions that she had to ask. She would have to know what kind of situation that she was walking into, she couldn’t just go into the entire thing blindly. Nasedo had led her through most of her life blindly.
Courtney sighed at the other girls words. For most of her life, she had spent it looking for the royal four and now they were found. She watched them each and every day and it amazed her who they were now. Zanier, the once leader of Antar, who had fallen into the same mistakes as his own father, was a quiet, serious dark haired teenager who sometimes looked like he was scared of his own shadow. Vilandra, beautiful and confident who had dozens of men at her feet each and every day, and now she was only a shadow of the woman she had once been. Rathard, so headstrong, blunt was strangely almost like his former self. Almost. She had witnessed him with Maria and seen his softer, gentler ways and it was something that he had never once showed to Vilandra.
“It’s a small town in Arizona. Copper Summit. Do you know why it’s called Copper Summit, Tess? Do you remember the summit? Zanier and Rathard called it the Cooper Summit to try to hide the fact that they were discussing the distribution of the spice.” Courtney informed Tess. It had been Elias’ idea to name their town that, he thought that it was appropriate considering that the summit had been the beginning of Zanier’s downfall. It was than that the people had begun to take notice of Khivar and the things that were being said about him. How he wanted to make things better.
Tess nodded her head at Courtney’s words. Zanier had even hid that fact from her, that they were discussing the spice. The spice had been the symbol of wealth on the planets. Only those with money were able to afford it, and with the spice they were able to live life longer. The spice made you healthier and stronger. It had been the source of so many discussions over the years and Zanier had wondered if maybe by doing what his father had done, was the wrong thing. “Yes, I remember. So Arizona, huh? Just about the only place that Nasedo had never taken me to.”
“We knew about the ship crashing in New Mexico, but we didn’t know if you were all still there. So we stayed close, while we always checked out sightings, you could call us alien hunters in a way. Not in a bad way, I mean. Well, maybe some of us couldn’t wait until we could get our hands on the four of you. Now, are you going to tell me about what happened with you and Nathan?” Courtney said, narrowing her eyes. She knew that something had gone on with the two of them back on Antar, Tess had pretty much told her in her desperate need to see him through her eyes.
“If Nathan and I had something than it’s no one’s business. So if you think that I’ll tell you, your wrong.” Tess countered, not willing to give up what only she knew. And Nathan knew, she knew it in her heart that Nathan also remembered her. There was no way that he couldn’t remember the past they shared. That was just something she couldn’t think about.
“Isn’t it eating inside of you right now, to not know what the hell is going on between him and Serina. Semiramis is as beautiful as she was back on Antar, and she and Nathan are such good friends. I’ve heard so many different rumors about them. You know, Elias wants them to be together, so they can be Kellen’s heirs.” Courtney said caustically, wanting to get a reaction out of Tess Harding. Since, Tess wanted to keep secrets than she would do the same thing.
Tess narrowed her eyes at Courtney’s words, but didn’t say anything. Yes, it bothered her to not know what happened after she had died on Antar. What had happened? Why the hell had Semiramis gone to Khivar’s side? She had been Neith’s sister, and Neith definitely hadn’t been on Khivar’s side. More of like the Switzerland, staying clear of each side. That is, until she had finally chosen an allegiance with Zanier. Tess had this terrible feeling inside of her that Nathan and Semiramis had something together once she had died. From what she had seen from Courtney’s memories, they had a strong bond. But that didn’t matter, she told herself forcefully. She was the one that mattered to him, she knew it. Whatever that was with Semiramis or Serina, whatever her name was, didn’t matter.
Her entire life she had known that it was her fate to be with the man that she loved. Everything came back to her being with Nathan, not Zanier. Damn it, don’t think about this, she told herself. There was so much that she didn’t know and she was going to drive herself crazy if she thought about it all. Tess didn’t know what was going to happen with them until they were face to face. Until the moment they had to sit down and talk about things. Figure out what they wanted from the other. Nathan knew that she was out here somewhere, he just didn’t know where. And how could she blame him for keeping his time occupied? Because she knew that’s all that it was. A time consumer.
“Look, fighting with you isn’t going to get either one of us anywhere. So why haven’t the others come bursting my door down? You went AWOL didn’t you, Tess? I’ve watched them and I realize that they don’t trust you. Hell, sometimes I think that they don’t even like you. What happened, what did you do? They finally realized that they couldn’t trust you?” Courtney asked with a laugh. It was definitely something that she had wondered about herself, why there was that slight tension in the air every time Tess joined the group. She had heard enough around town to know that Tess Harding hadn’t grown up in Roswell, had only come to town months earlier and had almost immediately been accepted into the group of six. Which was now a group of eight.
“I didn’t do anything, Courtney. At least not yet. But evidently, I am going to do something. They thought that I was working with Khivar and planning to get pregnant by Max so I could go back to Antar with his baby. So I could save my own skin. Oh, and in the process, I’m supposed to kill Alex Whitman. They believe it because someone came to Liz from the future.” Tess confessed, knowing that it was better if she told Courtney the truth. She had no where to go. She had to decide what she was going to do about Max and the others. She wasn’t going to do anything to hurt Alex, but they firmly believed that she could and would. How was she going to show them that she wasn’t? She had to show them that she had an allegiance to them. Maybe she should just confess to them what had happened. What Nasedo’s plans had been.
Courtney’s mouth fell open at Tess’ words and she let out a huge laugh. To her that was just too funny. They had honestly believed that Tess was working with Khivar? What a crock. They hadn’t even known where the royals were until the spring, so how could she have been working with Khivar? It just didn’t make any sense. And Courtney had never once heard word that they even knew where Avalina was. “I’m sorry that’s way too funny. You working with Khivar? I’ve been in Copper Summit since the very beginning of it. And we never knew where the hell any of you were. Never, not once. And they think that you are working with Khivar.”
“Nasedo was working with Khivar. At least before they left Antar. Nasedo and Khivar had made a deal that I would come back to Antar with Zanier’s baby. He told me when I was about twelve, going through puberty and informed me that I was not allowed to have any grubby human touch me or even look at me, since I was to get pregnant by Zanier. I don’t believe that Nasedo was ever in any contact with Khivar afterwards.” Tess explained. It was something that she firmly believed. Nasedo had never had any contact with Khivar once they had left for Earth. Nasedo had never even knew where Max and the others were the entire time. Damn it, it didn’t matter. She did not want to get pregnant by Max, and the only reason that she believed that she would ever do something like that would be because she was desperate.
But there was no need for her to be desperate. She knew that Nathan was alive and here on Earth. There was no need for her to get so desperate to force herself to sleep with Max Evans, ensuring that she would have his child. Whatever happened in that previous time line was something that wasn’t going to happen this time around. She was going to be with Nathan, and they would have children of their own someday. She didn’t care about being the freaking queen of Antar, as long as she had Nathan. That was all that mattered. She would gladly give up the crown for him.
“Interesting. Khivar never once mentioned this plan to Elias or Kellen.” Courtney remarked, her eyes narrowing in suspicion. It seemed that Khivar had a back up plan that he hadn’t informed anyone. That son of a bitch, just what the hell was he playing at?
“Sounds like he’s trying to get all of his ducks in a row. Back up plans, just in case something doesn’t work out. Is there anyone that he trusts?” Tess couldn’t help but ask. Her brother had always been a cagey one, but she had never realized just how much he was. She didn’t even know why she even thought of him as her brother, he wasn’t really. On Antar, she had been eleven the first time that she had meet him and he had been a good ten years older than her. She didn’t even know who he was anymore.
“Hell if I know. I mean, after Nathan and Semiramis died, Khivar pretty much became very unpredictable, slightly eccentric if you want to call it that. There was this man on Antar that seemed to get close to him. His name was Cillian. I think that he’s still on Antar. Khivar’s own version of Rasputin.” Courtney said dryly. She knew that Nathan had been the closest thing to a brother that Khivar had, and he had been devastated by the unexpected deaths. First Semiramis than Nathan. Both just as shocking.
“So did Khivar hand pick who was coming down to earth? Why were they the ones chosen to come?” Tess asked curiously. It was a strange thing, picking who was going to come down to Earth and who was going to be cloned. Khivar had even cloned himself, how very egotistical of him. There definitely seemed like there was something going on that none of them knew. He was planning something and it had been going on for a long time. God, how stupid she had been. Had she honestly thought that if she went back to Antar that everything was going to be okay? Just because Khivar was her half brother it was supposed to make her safe. She was probably just as much as a threat to Khivar that the others were.
“Who knows what Khivar’s logic was? I mean, seriously, Tess. Some of us didn’t even know each other when we came down to Earth. I don’t know why he picked the people that he did. I don’t know why he chose certain people to be cloned and not others. I honestly think that Khivar is going crazy from taking too much of the spice.” Courtney said, shaking her head at the very thought. Khivar had so much potential back on Antar, and Courtney was actually in a hard position. Knowing what she did about the past, Zanier, Rathard and Khivar. None of them had been truly horrible when it came to leading the people.
Each of them had been adept, though they all had their faults. Zanier had followed in the steps of his father, maybe too closely at that had been his downfall. Rathard had been more of a listener of the people, but his loyalties had laid entirely with his king and best friend. And Khivar had in turn, went the opposite way of Zanier and proved that he listened to what the people wanted. The less privileged people of Antar, who had quickly become his most ardent followers.
“So who’s side are you on, Courtney?” Tess asked softly, wondering if this girl was a friend or foe. She needed to know who was around her, what to characterize Courtney as.
“You know that's something that I don’t even know anymore. I have been here for so long that I’m just tired. As much as I want to go back home, I know that it’s not really home anymore. I’ve been away from there so long. I’m not sure that Khivar is the best for Antar. But I don’t know who is anymore. Max, Michael or Kellen. I don’t know. I guess only time will tell.” Courtney replied with a sigh. For a long time she had actually wondered if the time to find the royal four would ever come. And now that it was here, she didn’t know what the hell was going to happen.
“What side are you on, Tess?”
“I’m not on anyone’s side. For my entire life, it was about surviving, knowing that there was something out there that I had to get back to. And I knew that no matter what happened that I had to survive because of it.” Tess said despondently. What did the rest of her life hold for her? Where was she supposed to end up? Nathan was so close that she could almost feel him.
“As far as I know, Nathan and Serina have been nothing but friends. They’ve grown up together. I don’t know them that well, Tess. I know more about Nathan than I do about Kellen or Serina. Those two keep a distance from most people.” Courtney said with a shrug, feeling her conscience get the best of her. This was the worst part about being here on Earth, as acting human for the past fifty some odd years. She was beginning to think and feel exactly how humans did.
Tess stayed silent as she pondered what she was going to do. She knew that she wasn’t planning on murdering Alex Whitman — which it still surprised her that out of everyone who had confronted her earlier — the way he looked at her. Never in her life had someone looked at her the way Alex Whitman had looked at her, with such pity and sadness, empathy even? Those were emotions that she wasn’t even used to.
She wasn’t used to any of this.
Her life hadn’t been her own for such a long time. Hell, who was she really? Was she Avalina, the daughter of Hanar, or was she Tess Harding, who she had been calling herself for the past year? She had believed herself to be Avalina, but now she was beginning to question it all. What would Nathan see when he looked at her? Who would he see? It scared her to even question that. For her to wonder what the answer was going to be. What he would see? Would he be happy with her for the way she was or was he going to be disappointed?
“I’m going to tell Max the truth. About what Nasedo and Khivar wanted from me. I know what I am going to do and what I’m not going to do. I’m not going to do what they wanted. Nasedo is dead, because of your people.” Tess mused. Her life was going to be her own. After everything that she had endured throughout her entire life. Hell, her two lives. It was about time for her to have some happiness, maybe even some fun in her life. She had never been able to do a single thing in her life, she could never do normal things like the rest of the kids. She couldn’t have friends, she had spent her entire childhood locked inside of the house. This was her time to finally come out of the proverbial house that she had been locked in.
“We didn’t kill him.” Courtney injected, getting an unease feeling inside of her stomach. They had really believed that the Skins had killed Nasedo? As far as she had known the plan had been to stay away, only a few of them to act as surveillance.
“What?!”
“The plan was for some of us to come here to Roswell and perform surveillance on the four of you. We were instructed not to do anything, just to stay here and watch. Nothing more, nothing less.” Courtney explained, wondering what the hell was going on. This was turning into one of those bad made for TV movies. Not only was Tess’ protector dead, but they believed that the Skins had been responsible for the death. Courtney had been under the impression that he had just gone off somewhere and left Tess with the Valenti’s. She had noted that Tess had moved into the Valenti household, but had believed that it had been because the protector hadn’t wanted to leave her alone. Over the entire summer, there had been countless times that the sheriff had visited the Harding household.
“Than what was Whitaker doing?” Tess countered, wanting to know what the story had been with that woman. Just the mention of the woman brought back the memories. It had been so horrible. It was definitely a position that she had never been in before, it made her understand what had happened to Max last spring, though she knew he had gone through a hell of a lot more than she had.
“That I am starting to believe was Khivar’s work. Why else would she have gone after you and Isabel? She was someone that Khivar trusted back on Antar, she was an avid follower of his. Maybe he had special orders for her, orders that the rest of us don’t know about. Oh my. . . how many others have special orders by Khivar’s command?” Courtney wondered, shocked by the entire notion. But it made sense to her. There was much more going on than she possible knew, and it pissed her off. After spending fifty some odd years here on Earth, at the behest of her leader, a leader that she had slowly begun to lose respect for over her years of servitude. Khivar had deceived her and countless others with his hidden agendas.
Courtney had felt deplorable about her loss of faith in her leader. But now, she knew that she had been right in her feelings, in what she had sensed. She was a soldier without a leader and now who was she supposed to follow? Michael? Max? Kellen? Who was the right leader for Antar? Who was the leader that she was supposed to follow since she didn’t have anything else in her life. This had been her entire life and now it was all a lie. There was nothing for her now.
Tess was worried about what was going to happen now. Khivar and his rogue Skins were the people that they had to worry about. Courtney and the others probably didn’t know who the rogue Skins were and who weren’t. Tess hated having to look over her shoulder all of the time and wonder who was a friend and who an enemy was. And she had the feeling that things were only going to get worse. If she had thought that it had been bad when she was a child, moving around and changing her name over and over again, she was wrong. Hell had just begun for Tess Harding.
“Do you feel it, Courtney? Something bad is going to happen soon, isn’t it? I’m scared.” Tess admitted, hating the fact that she was indeed scared. She had been told by Nasedo to never let her fear show, and for the most part she had done that. But this was exactly what she had felt when she had been with Whitaker, it was the same feeling and it worried her.
“I feel it, too. Everything is going to be okay, Tess. Like they say, there’s a darkness before the light.” Courtney replied, wanting to make the other girl feel better. She could feel it in her blood that something was going to happen, she only hoped that when it did she was prepared for it. She was as much in the dark as the royal four were. “Hey, Tess, what’s the story with Liz Parker?”
“What do you mean, Courtney?” Tess asked suspiciously, unprepared for that question.
“I don’t know. There’s just something about her that I’ve wondered about ever since I’ve meet her. I don’t know how to explain it. I just. . . get this weird feeling around her.” Courtney said, wondering why she had even bothered to bring it up. From everything she knew, Tess and Liz Parker were bitter rivals for the affection of Max Evans. Not that she blamed either girl, he was after all supposed to be the king of Antar. Hell, if she was in either girl’s position, she just might have fought tooth and nail to get him. Well, maybe not. He wasn’t exactly what she would call her type of guy.
“I know what you mean.” Tess admitted, finally acknowledging what she had felt inside of her that she had kept unspoken. She wondered the same thing from time to time. Just what was it about Liz Parker that was so familiar? It was just a strange nagging feeling that she got, but one that she always pushed aside. The two of them were supposed to be rivals for Max’s attention, so Tess had played it that way. Nasedo had been downright cruel in some of the things that he had told Tess, and she knew that she had to act as though she hated the other girl, otherwise he would have been suspicious. Nasedo getting suspicious was the last thing that she had ever needed, so she had done several cruel and childish things, all in the act of throwing Nasedo off.
“Maybe it’s just too much time spent here on Earth. Anyway, how about I give you a ride back to the Valenti’s? I think your feet are gonna need a little repair on them. No high heels for a couple of weeks.” Courtney said with a smile. She wondered what the hell she should do now that she knew Khivar had other plans that many people probably didn’t know about. Was Elias even someone that could be trusted? Was he also keeping Khivar’s secrets? All of this was crazy.
“Yeah, isn’t that a damn shame?” Tess said with a laugh. She knew what had to be done. And she was finally prepared for them to see who she really was. To know what made Tess Harding tick, the things that affected her. As much as it scared her to finally let them know, she knew that it had to be done. She had to prove to them that she wasn’t working with the enemy. They needed to know that she wasn’t going to do the things that they believed she would do. She wasn’t the enemy, but she had the feeling that they weren’t going to be prepared for when the enemy truly came to their door steps.
Now, I want to remind people that Khivar and Kellen are two very different people. When I mention Khivar in this story and later on down the line, I am talking about the original guy who is responsible for the death of Zanier and Co. And Kellen, is the clone who lives in Arizona. Now in Hero Of The Day, when Daric talked about his father Khivar, he was indeed talking about Kellen, who reverted back to the named Khivar.
As to why Serina joined up Khivar’s side, that will be shown in the next story, which will be called My December. You know, Rita, I have to admit that I actually like the character of Tess. She’s a very interesting character, and I like to explore her character. The writers of the show made a very big mistake by turning her into the evil character they did. They could have gone so many different ways with her.
<center>Chapter Four </center>
Tess stood silently, wondering what she was going to say once she entered the apartment. ‘Hey, guys, I’m not really the enemy. Khivar is. Hell, I don’t even know who’s actually working with Khivar. I’m sorry that I was such a bitch.’ For some reason, that just didn’t seem like what she should say. She knew that there was so much that she had to explain, so much that she had to admit to. She felt that she had to tell them what it had been like growing up with Nasedo, it hadn’t been easy.
She knocked tentatively on the door and waited, knowing that she was going to see faces that were angry and unhappy. Something that she was not used to. And she was absolutely right when the door swung open and she meet the glare of Michael Guerin. Well, maybe she had been wrong. She had been used to his glares. Not only here but back on Antar. He had only showed her disinterest.
“Where the hell have you been?” Michael exclaimed, grabbing her arm roughly and shoving her into the apartment. The seven of them had been searching for Tess, but hadn’t found a sign of her.
“At Courtney’s. We had a nice long discussion about where she is from and all that fun stuff. I went back to the Valenti’s and ya’ll weren’t there, so I assumed this is where you guys would come next. Where is everyone?” Tess told him, wishing that he would stop looking at her that way. His looks reminded her of Nasedo and how he would look at her. Like she was stupid, like she was the scum of the earth, unworthy.
“We went looking for you. Should have known that you went over to Courtney’s. How is my favorite Skin doing?” Michael asked with a huff. He should have known that Tess had overheard what they had been talking about. So did that mean that Tess knew that Nathan was alive out there? And if she knew than why was she here instead of running off to find the guy?
“Courtney’s fine, waiting for all of you to bust her door down. By the way, why haven’t you done it yet? I’m just curious.” Tess admitted, acknowledging the question that had bugged her while she was over there. Hell, it hadn’t taken them long to come to her once they heard of what she was supposed to do, but Courtney hadn’t been bothered quite yet.
“We’ve had bigger things to worry about than Courtney Banks. Between you and Courtney, you seemed like the bigger problem to worry about.” Michael responded. He knew that it had been wrong and stupid of him to keep the fact that Courtney was a Skin from Max and the others for those few days, but to him it had seemed the right thing to do at the time. Once Max and Liz had come to him and told him about what had happened with Daric, Michael had come clean. And Courtney was the next person on his agenda, today in fact. Even though she was a Skin, he didn’t think that she was an enemy.
“Courtney is just as lost as I am.” Tess said with a sad sigh. Courtney had lost her leader to follow, which was something that Tess was sorry for. It seemed that going back to Antar, following the right leader had been the only thing that had kept Courtney going for the past years. And now it was gone, she didn’t know who the heck to trust anymore. Courtney didn’t know who to believe anymore.
“I’m calling the others to get over here.” Michael informed her, picking up the phone from the couch, quickly dialing the numbers to get the others over here. He had a weird feeling about all of this, why had Tess come back? Surely, she would have taken off by now if she was working with their enemies. Their enemies that were coming any moment.
Tess sat down abruptly on Michael’s couch and rubbed her forehead with her hand. This was something new for her, coming clean. Talking about the truth, being able to finally admit to the things that went on inside of her head. It was hard living with the memories of Avalina’s life, and knowing that it wasn’t really her life. She knew, she saw, she even felt it, but it hadn’t happened to her. It hadn’t happened to Tess Harding. She had gone through different things than Avalina had. Her childhood hadn’t been a single thing like Avalina’s.
What was she? What was wrong with her? Why did she feel this way? Did Max, Michael and Isabel feel the same way? She didn’t think so, or at least it seemed that they didn’t feel the same way. There was so much going on in her head that some days she felt that she was going to go crazy. It was only now that Tess was starting to realize that she was not Avalina. That was not her life. It was another’s and she had to let it go. She had to let go of the past and learn how to live life as Tess Harding.
And who knew what that would mean when it came to Nathan? She couldn’t honestly say what would happen when it came to him. She knew that she loved him, from what she remembered as Avalina, but they were different people now. She was Tess, and even though he was named Nathan, she knew that there were going to be significant amounts of differences in him also.
“Why’d you come back, Tess?” Max asked softly, upon entering the room. He had been quite shocked when Michael had called and told him that Tess had come to him willingly. He had honestly believed that she would have taken off for parts unknown.
“Because I’m tired of hiding who I am. Did you really think that I had it any easier than you did, Max? Yes, I had Nasedo my entire life, but what I wouldn’t give to have been in your position. I wish that my life had been so different, I wish that so many things could have been different.” Tess admitted, feeling a sudden rush of emotion rise to her throat. It was the first time that she had voiced this out loud. Her secret wish, she had wished over and over again, on every year when it had been her supposed birthday. The day that she had come out of her pod. It was a day that she celebrated by herself, not once had her protector given her something on that day. Or even said a kind word.
Max swallowed hard at her words. This was something that he hadn’t been expecting. It seemed that something had turned for the better. He had never heard that tone in her voice before and it made him wonder what the hell had happened between her and Courtney. Tess seemed very different from the petulant person she had been this morning. It was almost as if she was resigned to something. “I’m sorry about how you grew up. I’m sorry about a lot of things, Tess. But we need to know what the hell is going on with you. We simply don’t know anymore — if you’re a friend or an enemy.”
Tess accepted what he was saying and realized that it had been her own actions that had brought them to this point. Friend or foe, what was she to all of them? When she and Nasedo had first come to Roswell, they had intentions that the others hadn’t been told about. Tess knew what her role was to be, the femme fatale sort who was going to show Max that he was supposed to be with her. Hell, Nasedo hadn’t expected for them to find Liz Parker with such a firm hold on the heart of Max.
“It’s my fault that you don’t know if I am or not. But you have to understand what kind of a life that I had. Try being raised with the knowledge that you are nothing but a means to an end. You are not loved, you don’t know what love is. One of the first things that I was told was that if I wasn’t careful that I was going to get myself killed. I was about six years old when I was told that, first out of my pod. Talk about putting the fear of God in a person. I was never allowed to do anything, I couldn’t have friends, I couldn’t do any of those fun activities after school. I spent my entire childhood shut indoors with no one. It was a cold environment to live in and all I wished for was to have someone. My family, my friends, someone who cared about me.” Tess admitted, finally coming free with what it had been like growing up with Nasedo. They needed to understand the things that had happened, why she was the way she was.
Liz stood by Max’s side, silenced by Tess’ words. Hearing what her childhood was like saddened Liz. That was no way to grow up, knowing that you were only being taken care of because of who you were. To know that you weren’t loved. Even now knowing that her mother was an alien and wasn’t related to her by blood, Liz was happy with the knowledge that her mother did love her. Yes, it was a strange relationship that had made her question the depth of her mother’s feelings. But in her heart, Liz knew that Nancy loved her and only wanted her happy.
“I don’t. . . I don’t want for you to feel sorry for me. But I just want for you to understand where I’m coming from. By the time it came to puberty, I. . . I was told of what I was supposed to do. Nasedo — you know, I never called him anything until you told me that’s what you called him. He told me that I wasn’t to be touched by anyone because my mission was to get pregnant by you. That it was what I was meant to do, it was the only way for Nasedo to go back home. Sure, I listened to what he said, but I wasn’t going to do it. I’m sorry Max, but you just don’t do it for me.” Tess acknowledged. She had done things in order to try to get her way, but it had all been fake. What would she have done if she had even won Max over?
It wasn’t like Tess had wanted to be with him, it was just something that she was supposed to do. She was sure that if she hadn’t tried to win Max over than Nasedo would have been suspicious of her at each and every turn. It had been enough that he had made snide comments about her losing her own husband to a human. The disgust that had been in his voice, the hatred, the ability to make her feel like she was the smallest, stupidest person on the earth. That had been one of the main reasons why she had done certain things.
“Because of Nathan?”
“Because of Nathan. It’s awfully hard to explain. I mean, Antar was a different place, a different time for all of us. I am not the same person that I was back on Antar. My life is different, I was raised differently. I’m starting to see it all now. Even if we weren’t in love, Max, we were friends. Until I fell in love with Nathan. Than my life became about him, and your life became about Neith and trying to figure out what was the right thing to do for the planet.” Tess informed them. She finally got the feeling that she was doing something right in her life.
“But you still betrayed him back on Antar, didn’t you?” Michael injected, not wanting for anyone to forget about that.
“Yes, I played my part in betraying Zanier. But there’s nothing that I can do about that now, why am I going to be punished for what happened on Antar? Should Isabel be punished for doing the same thing? I know that I have given you reason to doubt me. But you don’t realize just how intimidating that all of you can be. Its hard to come from a home where you know that you are nothing to meeting people who should accept you but they don’t. In fact, they don’t even like you half of the time. It’s frustrating. I’ve been alone for a long time. I know that doesn’t make things better.” Tess responded, not wanting to argue with Michael about what had been done on Antar. That was really nothing she could do about it. It had happened so long ago.
“You know, some of us had crappy lives also, Tess.” Michael said roughly, not wanting for her to think that she was the only one who had it bad. He’d had a bad life with Hank, but he had to toughen it out.
“I know, Michael. No matter what I feel about Nathan, I came to Roswell hoping to find the family that I had. Hoping to fix the mistakes that I had made before. I am not perfect, I’m far from perfect. I am not the person that you think that I am. I’m not the enemy, and I will prove it to you however you want me to.” Tess said with a sigh. Suddenly, she felt very old.
“And how are we supposed to make you prove it to us, Tess?” Max asked quietly.
“I don’t know, Max. You tell me. I mean, there is only so much that I can do and can say. All I’ve ever wanted was to have somewhere that I can call home, people who will be my family. The three of you were supposed to be that for me. And when I came, you weren’t. You didn’t even want me here.” Tess told them, feeling the threat of tears in her eyes. She felt like she was going to cry and she hated that. It made her feel like a crybaby, and crying was something that she didn’t do. Nasedo had always told her that the daughter of Hanar didn’t cry, had no reason to cry.
How long have I been in this storm?
So overwhelmed by the ocean's shapeless form
Water's getting harder to tread
With these waves crashing over my head
Liz bit down on her lip as she watched Tess, who she had considered the bane of her life. She knew that she had been wrong about a lot of things. It had always seemed to her that Tess had so much confidence, so much in fact that she liked her life the way that it was. Liz hadn’t seen that the other girl needed to have friends and family, a support team, people who cared about her. How would she have felt if she was in Tess’ shoes?
“So what’s the story with Nathan?” Michael injected, wanting to know what the hell was going to happen now. If Tess was saying that she didn’t want Max, which was a shock considering everything that had gone on since she had come to Roswell.
“True, I was married to Zanier when I started my affair with Nathan. You have to realize that by the time that I did get involved with him, Zanier was already in love with someone else. It just happened. It wasn’t like it was planned out, or I even knew him when I was younger. Because I didn’t. Courtney told me where they are at. She told me they are in Arizona. I am not going to do anything crazy to get back to him. How different is he? How different am I?” Tess said quietly, admitting the thing that scared her the most. Yes, Nathan meant a lot to her, but these people were supposed to be her family and it was about time they became one.
If I could just see you
This stormness would turn to light
If I had to see you
The stormness will turn to light
“Who was Zanier in love with?” Max asked softly. He wanted to believe everything that Tess was saying, he wanted to believe that she wasn’t going to try to get herself pregnant in order to go back to Antar. But still something felt missing, he couldn’t quite believe her yet. He didn’t know why, maybe this was what he needed to hear. For her to acknowledge who Zanier had been in love with, to know that she wasn’t playing any games with him.
“Her name was Neith. And I was okay with it, I mean, I know that you did love me once, but I think after the infatuation went away, you were left with a wife and you didn’t know what to do. Hmm. . . you know, I saw this movie once that reminded me a little of what our relationship was. The guy was married to a daughter of the emperor, but it wasn’t out of love, but the two of them managed to have a good relationship, a friendship. And yes, even though she did care a great deal about Zanier, Avalina still did her part in betraying him. But that wasn’t me. I’m Tess. Tess Harding.” Tess told them.
“Who was your father? Why did we get married?” Max couldn’t help but ask. He felt compelled to know what had happened in the past. Why he had done some of the things he’d done? Why his mother had seen fit for him to be reborn to go and save the day on Antar? What was so special about him? Wasn’t their someone else who was fit to run the planet? As far as he knew, Zanier and Avalina hadn’t had any children.
And I will walk on water
And you will catch me if I fall
And I will get lost into your eyes
And everything will be alright
And everything will be alright
“There are five planets of the system. Antar was the main planet, with your father as the king. Than there was Elazar, which was run by your cousins. As far as I know, your cousin Larek still runs the planet. Followed by Alazne, which was run by Baron Hanar, who was Avalina’s father. Than there was Casimir, run by Sero and Terriss, run by Kathana. Avalina and Zanier met each other on Elazar, we were infatuated with one another and it led to Zanier asking Avalina to marry him. Besides, it seemed like a good match since Alazne was the third major planet. Khivar is also my half brother as well as yours. He’s the illegitimate child of Hanar and Zanier’s mother, Ilori. Khivar didn’t know until he was maybe twenty or so, that they were his parents. Avalina was twelve, maybe? I think that it ate away at him for a long time, knowing that he wasn’t wanted.”
“Is that why he came after Zanier?” Max wondered out loud. Maybe that was why that it hadn’t mattered to Khivar that he was messing with his own sister. Half sister, albeit. But Vilandra had been his half sister and still he had used her.
“Part of the reason, I believe. But there were other things that he didn’t agree with.” Tess said with a shrug. It didn’t matter all that much about why Khivar had gone after Zanier. It was over and done with.
“The spice?” Liz injected.
I know you didn't bring me out here to drown
So why am I ten feet under and upside down?
Barely surviving has become my purpose
Cause I'm so used to living underneath the surface
Tess nodded her head. The spice had been the source of so much trouble throughout all of the years. It had been the same way before Zanier had became king. “Yeah. The spice. Khivar believed that everyone should have some. Not just the rich people. Antar is overflowing with the spice. The king is the one that decides the distribution of the spice amongst the rest of the planets. The spice makes you live longer, makes you healthier, stronger. Truthfully, there was never anything wrong with the way Zanier was handling the distribution, people were just greedy and wanted more. And Khivar knew it and he played on it.”
Max wanted to know more about the life of Zanier. He needed to know what kind of a person he had been if he had been overthrown by his own half brother. Had Zanier even known that Khivar was his half brother? He knew that the past really didn’t matter, but he still needed to know that way he would not be taken by surprise if someone said something. Hell, he had been thrown for a loop when Isabel had informed them about Vilandra and what she had done.
“I don’t know how I am supposed to prove to you guys that I’m not going to do those bad things that I’m supposed to do. I mean, I don’t know why I would want to kill Alex. Just for decoding the destiny book? I mean, I can read some Antarian, not a whole bunch. You know, I haven’t looked at that book in months. Even though my protector. . . Nasedo told me that I was supposed to get pregnant by you, I don’t want to. I don’t love you, Max. I don’t want your baby. I want Nathan. I want to be with him.” Tess said in a small voice, not knowing what else she was supposed to say. What else could there be to say? To do?
“I guess the question is, what are you willing to do to get back to him?” Michael wondered with a harsh sigh. Even though he hated the idea of killing someone, if necessary he would do it.
If I could just see you
Everything will be alright
If I see you
The stormness will turn to light
“You know that actually scares me to think about what I might have done in order to get back to him. It’s the only reason I can see why in that future, that I got pregnant by you, Max. I think that maybe now, I’m just starting to wonder and think about who I really am. I’m not Avalina, and I know that now. But I don’t know who I am and I don’t know who Nathan is. My life could have been so different if I had been with you and the others. I wouldn’t be as lost as I am now. I don’t know what will happen with Nathan, yes, I do want him back in my life. But I’m scared that he will look at me and see that I am not like the Avalina that he remembers. I don’t even go by that name. I never have gone by that name here on Earth.” Tess informed them quietly, wishing that she had never been put in this position. But it was all her fault, she was the one that had come in with the cloud of suspicion on her and she had never once done anything to show them anything other than that.
It was her fault and there was simply no way around it. Before going to Courtney today, she had been so certain that she would do anything to get back to Nathan. And she probably would have, according to the others if she had gone so far as to murder someone. But now that she had talked to Courtney, she felt that he might not think that she was good enough. She was scared of seeing him again. Her, the ever confident Tess Harding was scared of someone. She was scared of being rejected once again. Max and the others had rejected her, and if Nathan did also, she would simply have nothing else to live for. She would be utterly alone.
Liz’s heart ached for Tess Harding. This was her enemy or at least she was supposed to be, and she felt nothing but pity and sorrow for her. It wasn’t Tess’ fault that she had been raised by such an asshole, someone who cared more about what would happen to himself than to realize that he was shaping a child’s mind. A child who learned that being alone was the only way safe, who wished for the others like her, for the only person who had ever truly loved her. Finally, Liz completely understood Tess, and she was sorry that she had ever made Tess feel badly. “I’m sorry that I didn’t understand what you were going through Tess.”
And I will walk on water
And you will catch me if I fall
And I will get lost into your eyes
And everything will be alright
Tess couldn’t believe what she had heard. Liz Parker was saying sorry that she didn’t understand about what her life was like? That was something completely unexpected to her, she had believed that no one would really understand what she had gone through. Well, that was her fault because she never wanted for anyone to know what her life had been like with Nasedo. The cold, upbringing, being made to feel like nothing. She hadn’t wanted to seem weak in anyone’s eyes, which was why she had pretended to be superior when in fact, she felt anything but.
“I’m sorry about how we came to Roswell. I’m sorry that I didn’t say anything sooner. I don’t know how to prove to you that I will be loyal to you. But I’m willing to continue trying. What’s going to happen now?” Tess asked softly. What were they going to do? Go with guns blazing and take the Skins out? Take out the others? Nathan, Kellen, that Serina girl? They didn’t even know if they were good or bad. She had no idea what to expect from them.
“You know, I wish that I knew. We’re still discussing what is best, waiting for something to happen or to go to them. We know where they are and they know where we are. It’s the waiting game right now, I guess. Tess, are you alright?” Max inquired when he saw tears following down Tess’ face. She hadn’t been crying a moment ago.
“No, I’m not. I’m so scared about what’s going to happen to all of us, Max. I’m not sure of anything anymore. I don’t even know who I really am anymore. I’m not Avalina. I’m not her. So who does that make me?” Tess responded, not caring anymore about the emotion that had been welling up inside of her. The emotion that finally exploded in tears. All she had ever wanted was to be a part of a family, to be accepted for who she was. But who was she anyway? The resurrected queen of Antar, who had cheated on her husband and king? Jeez, where had her loyalty laid anyway?
And I will walk on water
You will catch me if I fall
And I will get lost into your eyes
And everything will be alright
I know everything is alright
Everything's alright
At that precise moment, Kyle walked into Michael’s apartment with Isabel, Maria and Alex trailing him and what he saw broke his heart. In the past month that Tess had been living with him, he had never once saw this happen to her. Tears. She had never shed any of the loss of her protector who had been the only family she had for years. At least, he had never witnessed it. Kyle did the only thing that he knew to do when he saw a female crying, and he went over to her and hugged her, allowing her to cry all over his favorite t-shirt. His eyes meet Michael’s over Tess’ blonde head and Michael only nodded his head and that was the only answer that Kyle needed.
Liz took in a harsh breath at the sight of Tess crying. She got the feeling that everything was going to be okay. That Daric had been right, Tess might not be the enemy that they believed her to be. Inside of Tess Harding was a little girl who wanted to be accepted and loved by the people who were her family. Liz wanted to help give Tess that, she wanted to give her friendship and love.
“What do you think, Liz?” Max asked her softly, wondering what she was thinking about the entire thing. She had been pretty quiet throughout most of the time.
“I think that Daric was right about Tess. You know how I always got a bad feeling about her and Nasedo before, now I don’t have a bad feeling about her. I don’t think that she’s the enemy. I think that in that other time line, if we had accepted her things wouldn’t have turned out badly. I believe her and I believe everything that she’s saying. Daric was right.” Liz replied with a sad laugh. Now that they were done talking with Tess, the next step was finally going to her mother and finding out the truth. So many things left to do before they were ready to confront their enemy.
With You belongs to Linkin Park.
Lines come directly from Meet The Dupes.
Dedicated to: begonia9508, *shiri&jensen4ever*.
begonia9508, I hope that eventually you’ll like Tess a little bit. And as much as she did behave badly in the past, she has decided to walk down quite a different path.
*shiri&jensen4ever*, I never completely liked Tess until I started writing this story. I thought that I could go the easy way and make her evil. There is this thread on the general discussion board completely about Tess and whether or not she is evil or misguided. And it was me reading that which inspired my Tess. I can say now that I do have an appreciation of the character of Tess, of course, that is before we found out that she killed Alex. That, of course is unforgivable.
<center>Chapter Five
November 13, 2000</center>
I woke up in a dream today
To the cold of the static and put my cold feet on the floor
Forgot all about yesterday
Remembering I'm pretending to be where I'm not anymore
A little taste of hypocrisy
And I'm left in the wake of the mistake slow to react
Even though you're so close to me
You're still so distant
And I can't bring you back
“They contacted us again last night. Same invite. We gotta tell ‘em something.”
Ava stayed silent at Rath’s words. They had never been contacted before, and now in the space of three days they had been contacted twice. It scared her, she didn’t want to go back to Antar, but she knew how much Rath and Lonnie wanted to go back there. But not her and not Zan. They were content with the lives that they had here on Earth. Sure, it wasn’t a picture perfect existence, lacking in a lot of different places, but it was better than a life on Antar. At least here, they wouldn’t be hunted and always have to look over their shoulders. That was what Lonnie and Rath wanted to go home to?
“Tell ‘em no.” Zan injected, not caring how they would take it. He didn’t want to have anything to do with this so called summit. The last time that he had been involved in one, it had all been fucked up.
“Yo, you sayin' we ain't going to the summit?” Lonnie asked, narrowing her eyes at Zan’s words. What kind of bullshit was that? Not go to the summit? It was their chance to go home.
It's true the way I feel
Was promised by your face
The sound of your voice
Painted on my memories
Even if you're not with me
I'm with you
“That’s what I’m saying.” Zan told his sister. Sometimes just looking at her disgusted him, he knew what was inside of her. He knew the things that she had done, how she had helped to betray him, and because of that one reason was why he had never been able to fully trust her.
“Yo, that's messed up, duke. This is the only time we've ever been contacted.” Rath said, his anger rising at Zan’s words. Why was he acting like this was nothing? This was their chance to finally get off this fucking horrible planet and get back to living like kings. Back on Antar, there was nothing that he couldn’t have. And he wanted to have that again, since he wasn’t getting anything here.
“Whatever. That’s it.” Zan said with a snort. Like he really cared about going back to Antar. It wasn’t his idea of fun. Why the fuck did he want to be the king of a planet in turmoil? Fuck that shit. Nah. Didn’t sound like his idea of fun.
“We tell ‘em no, they won’t ask again.” Ava finally spoke up. She was happy that Zan was telling them no. She knew that he had the same reservations that she had about Antar. He knew that he was not the king anymore, regardless of what Rath believed. He was happy with being Zan. Just the same way that Ava was happy with not going back to Antar. It wasn’t her life anymore, and she had no intention of ever pretending to be that person again. Her life was finally going to be hers, she had made plans for the past couple of months to get away and go somewhere that she didn’t have to be this person anymore. She wanted to be a brand new person. Even if that meant she was leaving behind the only people that had been her family.
You, now I see, keeping everything inside
with you
You, Now I see, Even when I close my eyes
I hit you and you hit me back
We fall to the floor the rest of the day stands still
Fine line between this and that
When things go wrong I pretend the past isn't real
I'm trapped in this memory
And I'm left in the wake of the mistake slow to react
So even though you're close to me
You're still so distant
And I can't bring you back
“Tell ‘em hell no.” Zan responded, not caring what Rath wanted. Antar was nothing to him. He knew what he was and nothing could ever change that. He knew damn well that he was only back up, and that they were only being contacted just in case something went wrong with the royal four. A part of him was worried about the royal four and what could happen to him. He and Ava had spent a lot of time talking about the others, and it freaked them out to know that there was someone out there that was pretty much their twins. He was torn with not wanting to have a single thing to do with anything Antarian and going to help his twin. The real king of Antar. His twin had no idea what was going on.
“What’s up with you, man? I’m tired of you. I’ll go by myself.” Rath growled, his anger rising. There was no playing on this issue. This was going to determine the rest of his life and get him off this stinking planet, where he was a nobody. It wasn’t who he was supposed to be. He had been more before, and he wanted that back. The power, the honor, and he would never get that on Earth. He was some fucking punk on this planet. He was supposed to be the general on one of the greatest planets.
“They don’t want the number two. They want the royal four.” Zan injected, wanting for Rath to understand that it was what really mattered. The royals were the ones that were needed, they were just the back up. Rath knew that. But Zan knew that he was holding out some hope that he would be able to get the life he led back. But Zan knew better. He knew that they would never get that life back again.
Ava watched the tug of war between the two. This was the thing that had frightened her, Rath’s temper. His temper had been legendary back on Antar, and he had the same temper here on Earth, which had gotten them into trouble their entire miserable lives. And Zan was just as hard headed as Rath. There had been many fights between the two of them over the years. She hated it when they fought, because she didn’t know where she stood. Where was her place? None of them honestly considered her to be their family. Lonnie and Zan were brother and sister. Rath was Lonnie’s boyfriend and Ava, was just there. Never really knowing what her place was.
It's true the way I feel
Was promised by your face
The sound of your voice
Painted on my memories
Even if you're not with me
I'm with you
You, now I see, keeping everything inside
with you
You, Now I see, Even when I close my eyes
With you
You, now I see, keeping everything inside
with you
You, Now I see, Even when I close my eyes
“Why don’t we go and see what they gotta say? Why don’t we go and get the answers?” Rath asked, desperation leaking into his voice. He hated the way that he sounded. He hated to let anyone know that he was weak. General Rathard had never been weak. Never.
“What if it’s a setup?” Zan countered with a snort of disgust.
“No, it’s not a setup! They need us!” Rath shouted frustrated, not caring what anyone thought. He didn’t care who the hell heard him. He was going to get his way, there was no fucking way that he was staying on this miserable planet. He would do anything to get back home, to the glory of his former existence. Fuck the royal four. They were nothing. Rath would show them who was more useful.
“I’m the man. Don’t forget.” Zan said, hating to use those words. But sometimes Rath needed to get it through his thick skull who exactly he was. What his role in all of this was. He wasn’t the one that was wanted, Zan was. Zan knew that he would be nothing but a pawn to Khivar and he had no intention of being that.
“Yo. Guys. It’s been a mad long day. Let’s just chill.” Lonnie injected, knowing that neither one of them was going to give up. She could read her brother like the back of her hand and knew that nothing was going to change his mind. As for Rath, he needed to calm down so they could execute their plan. If Zan wasn’t going to help them get home, then they didn’t need him. There was always the real one out there, who they could use. Who they could trick into going along. Lonnie meet Rath’s dark eyes and nodded her head at him. Letting him know that they would go with their back up plan. Zan would never know what hit him, not that she cared because he was the one that brought this upon himself. He was responsible for his own death.
“Yeah. You the man.” Rath said with a smile. He and Lonnie had talked about what would happen if Zan didn’t agree. So he was going to do what he had to do. And fuck everything else. If Ava made any trouble for them, than she would die also.
No, no matter how far we've come
I can't wait to see tomorrow
No, no matter how far we've come I
I can't wait to see tomorrow
With you
You, now I see, keeping everything inside
with you
You, Now I see, Even when I close my eyes
With you
You, now I see, keeping everything inside
with you
You, Now I see, Even when I close my eyes
Ava watched the looks shared between Lonnie and Rath, and wondered what the hell was going on. But before she could think of what it could be, she was completely taken by surprise by what happened next. And the only thing that came from her mouth were screams of horror.
<center>**********</center>
Liz didn’t know where she was going to begin. It had taken her four days to work up the courage to come and talk to her mother, four long agonizing days. She had played the words over and over again in her head. But now that she was here, she didn’t know what the hell she was going to say. ‘Hey, Mom. I know that you’re an alien and that you’ve been hiding the fact that I’m one also.’ Now, somehow in Liz’s mind that really didn’t seem like the right way to come out with it.
“Hey, it’s gonna be okay.” Max told her reassuringly. He knew that she was awfully worried about the way that this was going to happen, but what was the worst that could happen? It wasn’t like Nancy wasn’t going to fess up. He knew that she would.
Liz forced a weak smile at his words. In the four days that had happened since Daric had come, she and Max had forged an even stronger bond with one another. She knew what kind of future that she was going to have and it didn’t scare her one bit. Max was her future, and she wasn’t worried one bit about Kellen. If and when they finally meet up with him, Liz knew that nothing would ever happen. Her life, her future was Max Evans. This was their chance at happiness and nothing was going to screw it up again.
“Liz, is everything okay?” Nancy Parker asked her daughter, curious to the fact that she looked tense and that Max Evans was with her daughter. The last she had heard from her husband was that the two teens had a falling out. Nancy had chalked it up to teenagers being teenagers. Their hormones raging and getting jealous over idiotic things.
“Mom. . . I. . . were you ever going to tell me that I’m Neith?” Liz asked quietly, unable to meet her mother’s eyes. She heard her mother’s shocked gasp, but kept her eyes on the ground. The elusive Neith was always on her mind and Liz wanted to know more, but it worried her. She knew that whoever Neith had been, that she wasn’t her. God, she was supposed to be the small town girl Liz Parker. Not some reborn goddess.
“Liz, of course I was going to tell you. I was waiting until the right time. It’s not an easy thing to come out and say. I know that your probably upset with me for not telling you. But I did it for the right reasons. Liz, I love you. Do you know that?” Nancy asked, after making her way to her daughter. She brought Liz’s face up until they were staring into each other’s eyes. Nancy knew for the most part that she had been seriously lacking as a parent. Sometimes she forgot what to say, or how to act. Sometimes she honestly didn’t know how Jeff could put up with her, she was horrible at the whole feelings thing, emotions were just not her forte.
“Mama. . . I. . . I’m really her aren’t I?” Liz replied, unable to help the tears that fell from her eyes. She knew that she was Neith, but now it was hitting home to her. Her mother was admitting that she was this other person. This completely different entity that she didn’t know much about. Her mother had known her back on Antar. Her mother wasn’t really her mother.
“Oh, Liz. Yes, you are. I know that it’s confusing to you. But it doesn’t have to be. Yes, there is Neith inside of you, but you are also Liz Parker. Your father and I raised you. We raised you without Neith hanging over your head. So you could find your own way in this world. Everything will be okay once you come to terms with who you once were. Who you were does not make you that person. Isn’t that right, Max?” Nancy said, comforting her daughter in her arms. Max should know what that was like. He was in the same position as Liz. Having a knowledge over you, but knowing that you weren’t completely that person. Maybe it was all her fault. Maybe she had failed as a mother to Liz, maybe she had never been competent for the job. Maybe Rushil would have been better at it.
Max swallowed hard at her words, finding some comfort in her words. There was another person hanging over him, mocking him all of the time. A man that he wasn’t anymore, that he ceased to be. Some days he hated the fact that he was some former king of an alien planet. “Mrs. Parker ----“
”Max, I believe that it’s alright for you to call me Nancy. I’m sure one day I will be something like your mother in law.” Nancy said with a wry smile. In a strange way, she would be a mother in law to her king. “Is there anything else that you would like to know, Liz? Max?”
“What happened to my sister?” Liz forced herself to ask. It was something that was driving her crazy. The fate of her sister. Liz didn’t know what her life had once been like on Antar, but she wanted to know what happened to her sister. Why her sister had joined up with the enemy after her death on Antar. She was determined to find her sister. She was going to find Serina. She was going to be reunited with her family.
“Your blood sister on Antar? Semiramis. She was always in the background of you. It was only after your death that she emerged. I think that some believed her to be nothing, but she was your sister and I don’t know why she joined up with Khivar. I don’t know what happened because shortly Rushil and I came down to Earth with you. I don’t know what happened to her.” Nancy replied regretfully. Neith had kept her blood sister away from them, she had done everything in her power to protect the other woman, and in the end she had ended up joining Khivar’s forces.
“Who’s side was I on, Mom?” Liz couldn’t help but ask. It was something that she thought about. She had to know why Khivar wanted her, had she done something to lead him on. By all accounts, Zanier and Neith had been involved with one another, so what had been Khivar’s position? Had she done something to encourage him?
“You tried not to pick and choose sides. How did you find out about being Neith?” Nancy asked curiously. How had Liz found out? This was a moment that she had been waiting for most of her life. The moment when Liz would find out the truth about who she was, everything that had happened led up to this moment. She had waited for the moment that Liz would display an ounce of power, but it had never once happened. Liz never showed that she had powers.
Liz sighed at her mother’s words, wondering where she was supposed to start. She and Max had to tell her mother everything, and Liz hoped that they would even tell her father the truth also. He needed to know what he was pulled into. She would hate it if anything happened to her father, to know that it was her own fault. The Skins were around somewhere, searching, sniffing them out, even chasing them like rabid dogs. As scary as it sounded, she knew that this was only the beginning. Everything that they had gone through before had been a cakewalk compared to what the next few months were going to be. “There’s so much to tell you Mom. I just don’t know where to start.”
“At the beginning, baby. That’s where the story starts. It seems that we have a lot to talk about.”
Disclaimer: Lines taken directly from Meet The Dupes.
The story of Nut and Geb comes from Egyptian mythology.
<center>Chapter Six
November 16, 2000</center>
“Kyle, it’s sweet. I. . . I can’t believe that you got this for me.” Tess said with tears forming in her eyes. She believed that she had ruined the life she could have with the Valenti family, but Jim had been so understanding with her. The way he was with her was the way a father was supposed to be with a daughter. And once, Tess stopped playing with Kyle from her boredom, she realized that he was like a brother to her.
In the last week she had done just about everything she could to win back their trust. She had never realized just how much it meant for her to have their trust. And she knew that she was so far from having it completely, but she didn’t care about how long she was going to have to work at it. She would gain it back.
“Tess, it’s a kitty. Besides, I remember you told me that you always wanted to have a pet, but Nasedo would never let you get one.” Kyle told her with a wry smile. He felt good that he could make Tess happy. Buddha knew that she deserved to have some semblance of happiness. He had never realized just how bad her life with Nasedo had been, boy, he had been in for a shock when she told him.
“Why Kyle Valenti, you just called her a kitty. What would your friends say if they heard you?” Tess said with a laugh, feeling lighthearted for the first time in a very long time. Kyle had just presented her with an orange tabby, who was about two weeks old. Tess wondered if Jim knew that Kyle had gotten the cat for her and just exactly what had been said between the two guys.
“Well, that’s what she’s called, right?” Kyle said with a shrug, trying to sound manly. Oh, who the hell was he kidding? Trying to sound manly, it’s not like it mattered. Tess had already seen him in countless embarrassing situations. He had a knack for getting himself into weirdness. “Anyway, what would you like to call her? Something pretty.”
Tess burst out laughing at his words. Who would have guessed those words would ever come out of Kyle’s mouth. Kyle was definitely different than what she was used to. He had this amazing ability to make her laugh, to make her feel good. “Oh, Kyle. What do you consider a pretty name for this baby?”
“Etheline? Tiffany? Candy? I don’t know.” Kyle said with a shrug. What the hell did he know about picking a pretty name for a cat? Quite frankly, he would be happy with calling the damn thing kitty and be done with the entire thing. But he felt that Tess was going to search her databases for what she considered the perfect name. Hmm. . . did Tess have a database where her mind was located? Max was kinda a know it all, so maybe it was an alien thing.
“Etheline? That’s an old lady name. You know, I’ve been called a lot of things my entire life. Avalina. Catherine. Susan. Dominique. Amy. Lory. And now, Tess. You know, I don’t think that I’ve ever really liked any of those names. Maybe I’m not the best to be picking out a name from this adorable kitty.” Tess said, cocking an eyebrow at him. But now that she actually thought about it, if she could pick her own name what would she have chosen for herself? She hadn’t ever really cared because a name was just a name. It didn’t make her who she was. Just another game, another chance at pretending that she was someone that she really wasn’t. Pretending to be a happy person.
“Are there any names that you remember from Antar that you always liked?” Kyle asked after a moment. He had to admit to himself that he was curious about what she remembered. It must seem so weird for her to have memories of things she hadn’t gone through. “And no, you can’t name her Nathan, she’s a girl.”
“Kyle, I wouldn’t name her Nathan.” Tess said slightly forbidding. It seemed that everyone was waiting on her, to see what she was going to do. Hell, she was wondering about what exactly it was she was going to do. There was no way in hell that she was going to go off to Copper Summit and force herself on those people. She would have no idea what to expect. And she wanted to be accepted by Max and the others. And in the past few days, she was beginning to feel that acceptance and she wasn’t going to do anything that would mess it up.
“I’m just being dumb, Tessie my dear. Besides she is a female.” Kyle said with a wink. He wasn’t quite used to the playful banter that he and Tess had found themselves engaged in, but he liked it. He liked this side of Tess that he was seeing. It seemed as this was her true self, finally, her true self had come out. Nothing hidden, just Tess as she was.
“I’m thinking Nut. The legend of Nut is slightly sad, though. It’s Antarian.” Tess said with a shake of her head, knowing that Kyle was still weirded out by the whole thing. The fact that she had memories of Avalina’s life.
“Hey, I want to hear it, okay?” Kyle told her, putting his hand on her shoulder. It was strange for him to hear the words come from her, and to realize just how much that she had hidden inside of herself. She had the memories and she had the feelings, and she knew the stories of a different world. A different world, man, that was crazy.
“Nut was the mother goddess, she was responsible for how we began life. When Nut and Geb got married it angered the sun god, Re, who wanted Nut. Re was so angry that he had the god of air separate them. Nut is up in the sky, while Geb is below her, on the ground. During the day, they are separated from one another, but each evening Nut came down and was reunited with Geb and that is what caused darkness. And if storms came during the day, it was believed that Nut had somehow slipped closer to the ground, to Geb.” Tess explained, as she petted the kitten. She believed it to be a perfect name for the cat. She had always enjoyed the legend of Nut and Geb, it was a love story to her, two lovers beating the odds and being with one another as often as they could.
“That’s a sad story. That they could never be together all of the time.” Kyle remarked quietly, watching Tess closely. He didn’t like the look of sadness on her face. This was what he wanted to take away from her. He felt that it was his duty to make her happy, he believed that he would be one of the only people who could accomplish that. The others still were a little wary of her, but it was only because they still had their reservations, but Kyle knew better. Looking at her pretty face, he knew the real Tess was coming out. There was no Nasedo looking over her shoulder, pulling her strings.
“Hmm. . . yeah.” Tess said softly, breaking out of her thoughts of the old legend. It always made her sad, made her think of her relationship with Nathan. But that wasn’t going to be the case for them. No, this is a brand new life. Her brand new life. Jeez, how different everything could be for the two of them. They might never have to conceal their relationship.
That’s the least of your problems, Tess, a voice told her. She knew Nathan was the least of her problems right now. There was more going on than her relationship status. Khivar was a threat. Kellen was a threat. The rogue Skins were a threat. And she didn’t know what any of them looked like, she didn’t know who her enemies were. For all she knew, they could be watching her right now and she wouldn’t have a single clue. Don’t freak yourself out, she told herself.
“Hold that thought.” Kyle told her when he heard the phone begin to ring.
Tess had told them everything that she had found out from Courtney. Michael was gung ho into just driving to Copper Summit, Arizona and forcing their hands. But the idea of that actually scared Tess, she had a bad feeling about doing something like that. What were they to expect from something like that? According to Courtney, the Skins weren’t entirely responsible for Nasedo’s death. That was Whitaker, and she was a rogue skin. And how many others had been working with Whitaker?
“Tess, we gotta go. Something’s happening.” Kyle said plainly, hanging the phone up. He didn’t know how to even begin to explain what he had been told.
<center>**********</center>
Tess told herself to breathe, to keep her breaths at an even pace. It was the only way that she was going to be okay. Hell, she wasn’t going to be okay anytime soon. She was staring at another Michael and another Isabel. They appeared so punk looking, with the dark makeup that Isabel’s twin was wearing. The extra spiky way Michael’s twin had done his hair. Not to mention the tattoos that she saw peeking from several areas.
“I know you must be buggin’ out right now, cause I’d be buggin’ too.” Lonnie said when she caught the look on Tess’ face. So finally, this was little Avalina. The one that should have been with them, but had been kept from them. It was always something that had bugged her, the fact that her sweet sister in law hadn’t been with her. Instead she had been stuck with Ava, the egghead.
“What’s your names?” Max asked, breaking his silence. He was wondering what the hell was taking Michael, Maria, Alex and Valenti so long to get here. These two had shown up at the Crashdown and freaked the hell out of Liz. It had been a good thing that it had almost been closing time so barely anyone had seen the two of them. He could have just imagined what would have happened if more people had seen them.
“Yo, I’m Rath.”
“Lonnie.”
“I’m Max, this is Liz, Kyle, Isabel and Tess.” Max introduced, looking the two duplicates over. Could they honestly be called duplicates or would twins be a better word for them?
“Where are the other two?” Liz couldn’t help but ask. She didn’t have a good feeling about this. Only Lonnie and Rath had shown up, but where were the other two? What had happened to them? More specifically, what had happened to Ava? They needed Ava in their lives, but she was missing from the other set. Had something happened to Ava, which was why she wasn’t here? She and Max’s twin.
“Zan. . . we just lost him.” Lonnie stated simply, meeting the eyes of her twin, her clone. Isabel Evans, who looked like she was ready to star in a commercial for American Eagle.
“How did you lose your Max?” Isabel asked, not liking the way that Lonnie was looking at her. There was something about her eyes that Isabel just didn’t like. It was unnerving to see someone who looked so much like yourself staring at you. When Liz and Max had told them that the other set of pods were their duplicates, Isabel hadn’t honestly thought about it too much. She hadn’t wanted to think about the entire thing. Lonnie was virtually her twin, and yet she was so different from herself. She couldn’t help but wonder what kind of a life Lonnie had led, what things had she gone through, what did she know, what did she remember?
“He died in a stupid accident. You know, all his powers, all his abilities, and you know, he died in a street accident. For nothin’.” Rath explained, waving his hands in the air. That was the story that he and Lonnie had decided on. Besides it sounded somewhat like the truth. It was a street accident. When he had accidentally shoved Zan in front of an eighteen wheeler.
“What about Ava?” Liz asked curiously, feeling that something was being kept from them. She had this horrible feeling in the pit of her stomach. Was this the same thing that had happened in the last life time?
Tess watched the look that passed between Lonnie and Rath and knew that something was up. They were keeping something, or at least trying to, and they weren’t doing such a good job about it. Probably weren’t used to lying to people, just used to do whatever the hell they felt like and to hell with everyone else. Being able to tell when people were lying to her was one gift she could thank Nasedo for, he had taught her to watch, take notice of any sort of behavior. And she was certain that they were lying, as certain as she was breathing. Something bad had happened to Zan and it was their fault, Tess knew. Lonnie and Rath were the ones responsible for whatever had happened to Zan. And possibly Ava.
“Ava freaked after Zan died. She took off. She don’t want no one around her.” Lonnie stated, shrugging her shoulders. That was pretty much the truth though about what happened with Ava. Ava had freaked out after Zan died, and she had taken off. But Lonnie knew that she and Rath had put the fear of God inside of her before she had left. That it was in fact the reason why she had taken off. But Ava didn’t matter all that much to them anyway. She never had.
“Something’s cookin’. . . something that’s gonna affect all of us. Could we talk in private?” Rath asked, looking straight at Max. This was the king? The real royal king. His leader? His king? From what he saw, it didn’t seem like Max and Zan had any similarities. Zan had been a hot head, ready for a fight, not caring who he was going to piss off. And Max? Max it seemed was quiet and relied on humans way too much. Something that Zan had never cared for.
“No.”
Tess looked over at Liz, who had spoken that one word. The look in Liz’s eyes was the thing that worried Tess the most, and she knew that something was definitely going on. It was true, she thought to herself. Liz did feel something about situations, maybe it had something to do with Max’s healing her. Liz looked scared and it was obvious that she was trying to hide it from Lonnie and Rath. She understood Liz’s reluctance and wasn’t about to leave her hanging in the winds. Liz needed some back up.
“I agree. This concerns all of us. We should all hear it.” Tess stated, noting the look of anger that flashed in Rath’s eyes, and she knew that she had been right. Rath was planning to play on Max’s strings, try to get him alone and give him some song and dance. Try to get him to do whatever Rath wanted. Which what was it that Rath and Lonnie wanted from them?
“We’ve been contacted. You know, it seems some peeps from the hood, they wanna hook up with us and have a sit down.” Rath explained, ignoring Tess and Liz. He didn’t like the way the king’s bitch was looking at him. She knew something, or sensed something and she was going to be something of a problem if he wasn’t careful. The way she was standing at Max’s side told him enough, Max wouldn’t be the problem, she would be.
“The hood?” Isabel asked with a tone of contempt. They were so different from her and Max, that it freaked her out. If their situations had been reversed, if Isabel and Max had been where these two had been, would they have turned out like them? Would she be dressed like a punk, would she talk this way? Who would she have been if her parents hadn’t found her? That was definitely something that she didn’t want to think about.
“Our star system. Home. You. . . the ruling families of the five planets. . . they wanna have this summit meeting. I don’t know, duke. I mean, I know it’s important and it’s got something to do with making the peace, but you know, Zan was gonna go and represent our family and. . . that’s why we need you.” Lonnie continued for Rath, thinking that it was better for her to talk. She knew that they would have to gain their trust. But it wasn’t going to be easy with these girls.
“Me?”
“El Presidente?” Kyle couldn’t help but say. He blushed when the others all turned to look at him. Oops, he should have kept that comment to himself. It just seemed almost natural to call him that. But it was his secret nickname for Evans, and quite witty if he thought so himself.
“Yeah, with Zan dead, you’re the only kin we got.” Rath injected, not wanting to look like a punk in front of the others. Sometimes Lonnie got a little too controlling about things, and it pissed him off. Hell, it had pissed off all of them. But he and Zan were the only ones who had ever said anything. Ava had always kept silent, never said a single word.
“Why did they contact you and not us?” Tess wondered. Nasedo had never mentioned there being two sets of pods, two sets of royals. Why had they felt the need to have two different sets? If Zan had been alive, would there be a fight between him and Max about who the real king was and who wasn’t?
“We’re the ones they found. They don’t know that there’s two sets.”
“So why are there two sets?” Liz asked curiously, enchanted by any mention of the past. What had Zanier’s mother been thinking when she decided to have two sets created? From what she had found out from her mother the other day, Zanier’s mother was a shrewd and calculating woman who probably thought that making two sets was a good idea. That a backup plan was in need. The knowledge of just how crucial Max and the others were for the planet of Antar, completely blew her away. Those people were counting on him for their survival.
“Well, they made one batch and didn’t get it quite right, so. . . they made another.” Lonnie told them with a smirk, letting them know who she believed to be the defective bunch. They were like children.
“So you guys are, like, defective?” Kyle said without thinking and instantly regretted what he had said. But if there was a defective bunch it had to be those guys. They were the ones that seemed off.
“Actually you’re the defectives. Too human. No offense. When they sent us down here, the war was still going on. We were possibly the only chance for survival, so they sent both sets, you know, for insurance.” Lonnie scowled at the humans’ words. Just having these two humans in the room with them proved her point. When had she or Rath ever relied on humans for anything. They had learnt a long time ago to never rely on a human.
“Were you close, you and Zan?” Max couldn’t help but ask Rath. He wished to know more about Zan, who was essentially his twin brother. What kind of a relationship had he had with his version of Michael, Isabel and Tess?
“Oh yeah, we were closer than brothers, man. I mean. . . you know, all my life, I looked up to him and I wanted to be like him and. . . and than just one day, just. . . bam!” Rath said quietly, knowing that it wasn’t really lying he was doing. It was true in a way. He had felt that way towards Zan, until he realized how little it meant to Zan to go home. Zan just didn’t understand his and Lonnie’s need to get home, to get away from this life on earth.
“We don’t even know what the war’s about.” Isabel protested, speaking that fear that had been instilled in her ever since they had found out last spring. This war was something completely crazy. It was a war that she knew nothing about. How many people had died because of this war on an alien planet?
“We know it’s about us. . . the original royal four. Some kind of revolution happened and they were all killed and sent to earth to be reborn. Ever since then, the hood’s been a war zone. And now they want peace. I know you’re not Zan, and I know it’s kinda screwed to lay all this stuff on you, but this meant a lot to him. He’s our peace. He’s our chance to do something with this life. This is it.” Rath said passionately, starting to believe the things he was saying. He wished that Zan could have felt that way, but he hadn’t. He hadn’t cared about the life he could have had on Antar, being royalty.
“I’m not Zan.” Max said forcefully, wanting Lonnie and Rath to understand that he was not that person. He wasn’t the person who had been on Antar. He was born with that person’s essence, genes, whatever, but he had been born and raised as Max Evans. Son to Philip and Diane, brother to Isabel.
“Don’t worry. I mean, I’ll be right there with you. But without you. . . there is no summit and there is no peace. Millions of lives hang in the balance, Max. So you. . . gotta step up.” Rath continued, feeling that he was getting somewhere.
Tess held back on her anger as she watched the exchange between them all, feeling like the odd man out. Everything inside of her was telling her that they were lying to Max. Rath and Lonnie were keeping something, they were trying to play on Max’s emotions. Especially with Rath’s last freaking comment. She did not trust these people, these twins, replicas. . . god, she didn’t even know what the hell to call them. This just wasn’t right and it scared her. This was what she had told Courtney about.
The enemy was finally here.
And the enemy looked like Isabel. And Michael. What if they were working with Khivar? Maybe this was all of their plan, to get Max to go to this summit and take care of him. There was no way that Khivar would allow for Max to live. Max was the ultimate threat to the throne. Max was in fact the rightful ruler of Antar.
“Tess would have to go with us also.” Lonnie stated, her eyes shifting to the small blonde, who held the same face as Ava.
Tess swallowed hard at Lonnie’s words and knew that this was it. Now or never. She had to find out the truth about what they were saying. She wasn’t about to let herself go walking into a dangerous situation. A summit? With Khivar somehow there? No, she wasn’t a fool and neither was Max. It was her turn to play the bitch, the others didn’t know what to say, so it was up to her. She had to be the one to say something.
Disclaimer: Lonnie's lines come from Meet The Dupes.
Dedicated to: Luna_Seer, katydid, imnotic.
Note: Here finally is the next installment of I Am Me. This story is almost finished. And yes, things are going to seem like they are going to hell. But it's like they always say, darkness before light.
Enjoy.
-Amber
<center>Chapter Seven</center>
“No?”
“I said no. I’m not going anywhere with you. Your lying to us about something.” Tess injected, feeling that old confidence inside of her. She might not be sure about some things, but she was sure about this. And she could tell that Liz had the same reservations, but she was too nice to voice them, at least publicly. Tess on the other hand didn’t give a crap as to what Lonnie and Rath would think about her saying no.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Rath injected, getting angry at Tess. Who the hell did this chick think she was? Did she honestly think that she was the freakin’ queen. They all knew that Zanier hadn’t been in love with her.
“Fine. You got us, Tess. There’s something that I never got to say to Zan, and now it’s too late, and I was thinking about how maybe if I tell Max, I can get it outta my head, you know?” Lonnie said, thinking quick. Tess was a smart one and was probably going to be a problem for them. The same way that Ava had turned into a problem.
“What is it?” Max asked, shifting his eyes from Tess to Liz. Everything inside of him was on high alert. The look was the same in both girls’ eyes, though Liz’s was easier for him to read. He saw her fear and her worry, while in Tess he saw more anger and doubt. They were both in disbelief by what Rath and Lonnie were telling them. Did those two honestly believe that they could make a fool of them all?
“I want to apologize.” Lonnie said quietly, looking down at her feet.
“For what?” Max challenged, wanting to hear the words come out of her mouth. He had a feeling about what she was going to tell him and he honestly wanted to hear her version of the events.
“For betraying you. Max, have you ever been so crazy in love that you’d just do about anything? Well, back on our planet, Vilandra. . . me. . . Isabel. . . this person we used to be. . . we had it bad for a guy named Khivar. We sold you out, man. We’re the ones with blood on our hands. We’re the ones that got everybody killed. Vilandra was the, uh. . . the Benedict Arnold.” Lonnie explained, looking at him with tears in her eyes.
Isabel swallowed back the gasp that had been working its way up her throat. Why had Lonnie even thought this was something that had to be brought up? The story of Vilandra? The story of the betrayal. She hated anything that had to do with the name Vilandra. She was not that woman and she wasn’t going to betray her brother. Not for Khivar, not for Kellen. Not for anyone. She was desperately trying to make peace inside of herself about this and to bring it up wasn’t going to help her.
“But you’re not Vilandra. And neither is Isabel.” Tess protested, not caring that she was butting on in. She saw the look of disgust on Isabel’s face, and knew it was because of the knowledge of what Vilandra had once done. And Tess saw no reason for it to even be brought up. What had happened wasn’t relevant to what was going on now. Lonnie was lying and thought by mentioning the past that she would be able to get Max to go. Oh was she in for a surprise.
“Not technically, no. but she’s like this. . . demon I carry around inside of me. We both do, don’t you Isabel?” Lonnie said, looking straight at Isabel. She knew that she had hit a nerve with the other girl. Her genetic twin. She wondered briefly if they had been raised together, if she would have thought of this girl as her sister. Her twin. Would they have been close?
“Isabel is my sister. She would never betray me.” Max countered, not liking the tone that Lonnie was taking. He knew that Liz didn’t trust them and Tess was agreeing with her. There was definitely something funny in the air. He was being lied to, and he would have to do something.
“Course not. Just like I would have never shafted Zan. I’m glad she’s come clean with you about this. You’re lucky to have a sister you’re so tight with, you know? I wish Zan and I had been that tight.” Lonnie said, nodding her head at Max. In her opinion she was giving an Oscar worthy performance. Max seemed to be a softer version of her brother and her brother had been a sucker for sob stories. As much as Zan liked to pretend that he wasn’t, he truly had been a sucker. Except when it came to her, he had always been able to see her. Inside of her and had never believed a word she had said.
“What I don’t understand is why they never told you the truth, Tess.” Rath injected, thinking that it was a good idea to tell Tess that she was with the wrong group. Maybe that would make her change her mind about going with them. She didn’t seem to trust them, but than again, learning that she was one of them would make her turn her back on the others. They needed Tess to get back to Antar. They needed Max because of the seal and they needed Tess in order to give Khivar his sister back.
“What are you talking about?” Tess demanded, suspicious of his tone. What was there for them to lie to her about? She was the one that had been lying to them the entire time about who she was. But Rath and Lonnie didn’t know anything about that, or did they? What on earth did Ava possess inside herself? Did she have the same knowledge that Tess did? Did Rath and Lonnie know from Ava about Nathan?
“You supposed to be with us. Not them. Ava was supposed to be with them. But for some reason, the two of yous were switched.” Lonnie said, a smile gracing her face. She and Rath had suspected that Tess didn’t know the truth about the switch, and they had guessed right by the look on Tess’ face. The little blonde looked at her with a mixture of horror and anger. She had just thrown a monkey wrench into the life that was known as Tess.
Tess didn’t know what to say as she tried to process what she had just been told. It didn’t make any sense to her. She and Ava had been switched? What? Why? No. That couldn’t be true. She wasn’t supposed to be with them. She was nothing like Rath and Lonnie. They were complete fakes, phonies. They didn’t know who the hell they were, that’s why they had their hair all made up, had tattoos, had make up on. She was nothing like them. Sure, she wasn’t quite sure about who she was. But she was learning each and every day. No. It wasn’t true. It couldn’t be true.
“You’re not serious, are you?” Kyle spoke up. He felt a little like an outsider, which was why he was staying quiet. He didn’t know how to react to these people or even what to say at their mention of the past. It sort of freaked him out since the things they talked about happened even before his father had been born. And now with Lonnie and Rath trying to claim that Tess was with the wrong group. That Tess should have been with these dupes. That was crazy talk.
“I’m not lying, am I, Max?” Rath replied, cocking an eyebrow at Max, who was standing there silently. Just by the expression on his face confirmed what Rath knew. Max Evans had known the entire time that Tess wasn’t supposed to be with them and they had kept it from her.
Tess turned to look at Max and was shocked by the expression on his face. It was one of defeat and anger. Max was defeated by Rath’s admission and angry that the truth was finally out. Rath and Lonnie were telling the truth. And Max had kept it from her. What else was he keeping from her? Not telling? Because they needed her? Or because they didn’t trust her? Tess couldn’t help but wonder if they all knew that she was with the wrong group. She was nothing but a substitute for the missing Ava. Why had Nasedo switched her and Ava? Had something happened? What the hell had happened? Why was this happening to her? Just when she was starting to feel some sort of normalcy about her life, this had to happen.
“Tess. . . I. . . “ Max started, not knowing what exactly to say. The look of betrayal on her face was one that he had never expected to see before. He had never been on the receiving end of the look. He didn’t know what to say or how to act.
“You what?” Tess said, carefully enunciating each word. She was trying hard not to let her temper go, because she didn’t know what she was capable of. Once when she got so angry at something Nasedo had done, she had accidentally set her favorite teddy bear on fire. There was a fire inside of her that she didn’t know how to control, one that she had never told anyone about. She wanted to know what was the reason she had been lied to. Why had they thought it was okay to lie to her. It just showed her that they really did not trust her. Maybe it had all been their plan. To keep her happy, to let her think that they accepted her but they were really waiting until Ava was here.
“How dare you! How dare you think that it was right for you to tell Tess something like that.” Liz said in a quiet deadly voice to Rath and Lonnie. She didn’t understand what they were thinking. This was not the way they had wanted to tell Tess the truth. They had never wanted for Tess to think that she was just a replacement for the missing Ava. That’s not what she was, and it angered Liz that these people had told Tess instead of them.
“Why were you lying to her? Why didn’t you ever tell her the truth? She’s supposed to be with us.” Lonnie questioned, unperturbed by Liz’s words. There was something strange about that girl, she admitted to herself. She didn’t know exactly what it was, but she was getting some strange vibes from the brunette.
“It’s none of your business of how or when I was to decide that Tess was supposed to know the truth. It was for me to tell her, since I’m the king after all.” Max said forcefully, deciding that it was about time that he make a stand. If they wanted for him to go with them to New York, they had just done the worst thing. They had said something that had been his to tell Tess. He was the only one with the power to tell her the truth. They had kept it a secret for the right reasons.
Tess took in a sharp breath at his words and instantly knew that what Lonnie and Rath were saying was the truth. She was supposed to be with them, those duplicates. Where the hell was the trust that they had to have? How were they supposed to go up against Khivar when Max and the others didn’t honestly trust her. She had been trying and obviously it meant nothing to them. They were still lying and keeping things from her.
She didn’t even know what to think about being lied to for most of her life. She wasn’t who she was supposed to be. She had been told her entire life that she was supposed to be with Max, Michael and Isabel and now that was a lie. She wasn’t supposed to be with them. She didn’t like being lied to. Everyone knowing while she didn’t. Had Kyle kept it from her also? She could understand why the others would, but not Kyle. Tess would be devastated if Kyle had been involved in the cover up.
“And so my king decided to lie to me?” Tess finally said, not knowing what else she could say. There was no way around it, she had been lied to. Trust was the basis of any relationship, and if there was no trust than there was no way that any relationship would work. This would not work if they didn’t trust her. But who could she trust? Definitely not Lonnie and Rath. She would rather put herself on fire than trust them.
“I’m sorry, Tess. We didn’t know how to tell you. And it didn’t seem to matter all that much. What did it mean anyway?” Max said quietly, wanting for Tess to understand why they hadn’t told her. What had been the point in letting her know the truth. It wasn’t going to change who she was, or the fact that she was important to them. That they needed her. They needed to have Tess Harding on their side no matter if she was supposed to have been with them or not. She was an integral part of their group.
“It meant my entire life was a lie.”
“It wasn’t right to keep it from us.” Kyle injected, not understanding how this all had happened. Why had Max allowed for Tess to find out this way? From these people who didn’t give a crap about her. It seemed that these people only wanted one thing from all of them. They only wanted Tess and Max. There was no need for the rest of them.
“Do you know what its like to know that the girl who’s supposed to be like your sister isn’t? That she’s a fake, she don’t care about what even happens to you?” Lonnie protested, wanting for them to hear her side of this tale. True, it had bothered her over the years. Ava was completely different from herself, but after a few years she got over it. Once she realized why she and Ava never connected, she just didn’t bother.
“Yeah, I know exactly what that’s like.” Tess said with a huff. She hated to admit that she had something in common with Lonnie, but it seemed that she did. Even though she knew that Lonnie wasn’t trustworthy, her words were ringing such truth in her head. She didn’t know what to do or who to believe. What the hell was going on? Why was she being stuck in the middle, not knowing who to trust. It was obvious that Max and Liz didn’t trust her. Or Kyle, cause it seemed that he didn’t know about it either. Where was the trust?
“Tess, don’t. It wasn’t like that. We aren’t purposely trying to keep you out of the loop. I didn’t know how to tell you. I didn’t know.” Max enforced, wanting her to know that it had all been him. He was the one that had been responsible for telling her and he was the one that kept it. It had been his duty to her to tell her and he had kept it hidden, like a secret. Like it was something bad that needed to be kept quiet. It wasn’t something horrible, something to be buried.
“I remember a time when she was purposely kept out of the loop.” Rath threw out. On Antar, just about everything Zanier had done had kept Avalina out of the loop. Zanier hadn’t wanted her involved in any of his business, right up until the day they died. It was the way Zan had been, always keeping Ava out of the loop. As it seemed Max was also capable of.
“Don’t you dare mention Antar.” Max growled, his anger seething.
“Why are you gettin so defensive? It’s true. Once Neith came into the picture, you forgot about the rest of us. You didn’t care about your wife, about your sister. Everything revolved around that woman. That woman was the death of all of us.” Lonnie protested. She didn’t know why she brought up Neith, but it was all true. That woman was the reason why things had started to go to hell in a hand basket.
“Why the hell are you mentioning something that happened years ago? Things that I can’t even remember.” Max objected.
“Oh my God. That’s why I have some of my memories. They can remember what life was like on Antar. You don’t, Max. It’s true, I’m supposed to be with them. I can remember what my life was like. I remember Neith, I remember how much you were in love with her. Your world revolved around her and Khivar hated that. He wanted the power that she had inside of her. Lonnie is right, Neith was our downfall. You allowed for her to come into our lives.” Tess cried, running her hand through her hair at the memories.
It wasn’t that Neith had been a bad person, because she hadn’t been. But Tess believed that she was part of the reason that Khivar came down so hard and so fast on Zanier. Khivar and his insatiable lust for Neith. The almighty Neith, who should have spent her life alone because that was the life that she had been destined for. But instead they were all brought to their knees before their deaths.
“Tess. . . “
”What? It’s true. You never cared about what happened to me on Antar and you don’t care about what happens to me here on earth. I’m not Neith and I’m never going to be her. Why can’t you be happy with what you have? Why can’t any of you be happy? We’re not on Antar and we are not the people we used to be.” Tess shouted, angered by everyone that was facing her. Isabel, just stood there not saying a single word. And why would she? She had enough to deal with concerning her knowledge of Vilandra.
“Stop it. All of you stop it.” Liz spoke up, tired of hearing the arguing, the fighting. Tess knew of Neith, and if frightened her. She still hadn’t reconciled the past with the present. She was getting freaked out with the talk of Neith. What had she been? What had Neith caused? Obviously Lonnie, Rath and Tess knew of things that she didn’t. It seemed to Liz, that Neith had caused an awful lot of trouble. She had helped with the devastation of so many lives.
“Why do you care? This doesn’t involve you.” Rath asked suspiciously. There was something about her that he couldn’t put his finger on. He knew her from somewhere, but he knew that it was impossible.
“She’s as involved in this as the rest of us.” Max countered, not liking the tone that Rath was taking with Liz, who was obviously upset. Max put his arms around here, hating the trembling in her body. He knew that it was bothering her to hear about Neith. To hear them talk about her so badly.
“You know, Max, the last time I saw you act that way with a woman was with Neith. I could never stand the sight of that bitch.” Lonnie growled, taking a wild stab at something that had been bothering her. It was a crazy thought.
“Will you stop mentioning Neith.” Liz shouted just as the light above them burst into hundreds of pieces. Liz sucked in a sharp breath at the realization of what had just happened. She was the one responsible for that. She had made the light break and she had done it in front of everyone. They all had to know that she was the one responsible for it. If she hadn’t been here, she would have been completely excited by the fact that this was the first sign of some sort of power that she had.
“Just like I thought. You’re Neith, aren’t ya?” Lonnie said, shaking her head at the other girl. Who’s plan had it been to get her brought down to earth? Had it been her crazy brother’s idea? Damn, what the hell would have happened if Zan was here? Zan probably would have recognized her right off the bat.
“What?” Tess couldn’t think of anything else to say. Once Lonnie said those words, her focused entirely on Liz, who was obviously upset. The look on Liz’s face was the only answer that Tess needed. And she tried to wrap her mind around everything that she had found out. Not only was she with the wrong group of people — which was probably why Max and the others also hadn’t warmed up to her — but Liz Parker, who Tess had shrugged off as a damn insufferable human girl was now anything but. She wouldn’t have had any trouble in thinking that maybe when Max had healed the other girl that it had made some changes in her, but that she was in fact Neith was definitely hard to swallow.
“The gift that keeps on giving.” Kyle muttered, feeling that he was missing out on something. Who was Neith and why was Liz acting all weird? And how the hell had that light busted? Had it been by Liz?
“Why’d ya lie?” Rath asked, keeping up the assumption that maybe he and Lonnie were the only ones on Tess’ side. Make it seem that they were the only ones that hadn’t lied to her.
“Good question, Max. Why the lie? Did you think that I would do something if I knew that Liz was Neith?” Tess questioned as quietly as possible. She was scared about losing her temper. She felt a fire rising up inside of her and it scared her. Why was it that she was lied to by everyone who she was supposed to trust? Was she that untrustworthy of a person?
“No, Tess. It wasn’t anything like that. I swear.” Max replied, knowing that it had been exactly like that. He didn’t want to hurt her feelings about the entire thing. He wanted to spare her the pain of knowing that they still hadn’t trusted her. But that had been him, all him. It had been his choice to not say anything.
“Don’t you dare lie to me. I know that it was exactly like that. Don’t lie to me or I swear that I will slap you across the face, king or not.” Tess warned him, clenching her hands, not caring that her nails were stabbing the palms of her hands. She saw Max flinch and she knew that she’d been right and it made her angry and sad. Why were things like this?
“I’m sorry, Tess. You don’t understand how hard it was for me to find out that I was someone else. You’ve always known, I didn’t. It threw me for a loop and I was the one who asked Max not to say anything.” Liz injected, wanting to ease tensions. Tess did have every reason to be pissed off. They had kept things from her just in case she couldn’t be trusted. And it had been wrong on some levels.
“Sorry only goes so far. So where does that leave us?”
“Where that leaves us? I’ll tell ya. Going to the summit, takin’ care of business.” Rath said, nodding his head.
“Oh, will you shut up already about that damn summit. I’m not going to any summit with you, not today, not tomorrow. Not anytime soon. Just shut up already.” Tess growled. Why was he persisting on this matter?
“Who the hell are you to tell me to shut up?” Rath snapped back, his anger getting the best of him.
“Rath, chill.” Lonnie warned, feeling that things were getting out of control. Tess was definitely a wild card that they hadn’t been expecting. She had expected that Tessie would want to go to the summit, would want to get off this planet as much as them.
“No, I’m not going to chill. This little bitch thinks that I won’t slap her across the face for talkin’ to me like that, she’s got another thing comin’.” Rath remarked bitterly. He hated that tone from Lonnie. She always thought that she was so much smarter than him, that she knew more. It always pissed him off, but it was something that he put up with until he got tired of it. And now he was tired of her shit.
“I’ve got another thing coming? You’re kidding. You’re the one that needs me, not the other way around. Be careful about the way your talking to me. I mean, what are you going to do? Kill me?” Tess continued, seeing the agitation in his face. She knew that they had something to do with Zan’s death and she sure as hell wasn’t going to play the fool anymore. She had been a fool for Max, but not anymore. Not every again. No more lies and deceit.
“You stupid little bitch. After everything that we’ve planned, there’s no way that I’m dealin’ with your shit. You’d better get your ass in gear because you don’t want to have me as an enemy.” Rath enforced, not caring anymore about hiding the truth from them. Yes, he had killed Zan, it had been planned and they had done it. And if he had to he would kill her also.
“What have you planned?” Max asked, every nerve ending going on high alert. He didn’t like the way that Rath had said that. Something wasn’t right. Things were going downhill fast.
“Screw you. Your nothin' like Zan. Nothin' at all, nothin' but a substitute. God, lookin' at you just disgusts me. You’re the same high and mighty type. No wonder we had to do what we did.” Rath continued, angrily stalking up into Tess’ face. He hated the little bitch for opening her mouth.
“Rath, shut up already. Just close your mouth. You are always talkin' too much. Its no wonder that we’re still alive. Your bound to get us killed. And we’re bound to be stuck on this wretched planet for the rest of our lives.” Lonnie exploded, knowing that it was too late for them to back down. Rath had just exposed them in his fit of anger. His rage against Tess, which Lonnie didn’t understand where it came from. But there was something about the blonde girl that rubbed Rath the wrong way.
“What did you plan, Rath? Go on, tell us. Be a big man. Do you see how pathetic you are? I’m ashamed in you. Who you’ve become.” Tess said with a laugh, watching the anger burning in his eyes. As much as she was enjoying playing with him and saying all of those things to him, she knew that she had better be careful. She didn’t know exactly what kind of power that he had. What he was capable of? Though he had no idea what she was capable of either.
“Tess, stop it.” Kyle protested, dragging her away from the angry dupe. He knew that she was only going to get herself in trouble if she didn’t stop it. She was purposely baiting him into acting and she would get hurt if she wasn’t careful.
“Stop what? I’m not going to stop anything. I know what he did even though he thinks that I don’t. But I know that you killed Zan, as much as you protest and pretend I know that you did.” Tess continued, as Kyle dragged her forcibly to the other side of the room. She knew that she was acting crazy but it was the only way to get that miserable scum to tell the truth. Poke and prod and call him out. Yes, she was playing with fire but she didn’t care. What did she really have to lose?
“Shut up. Shut up you stupid little bitch.” Rath screamed, not knowing what else to say to her. How the hell did she know what he and Lonnie had done? There was something about her that he didn’t like, something that he knew was untrustworthy inside. She had this sixth sense that was freaking him out.
“Tess, stop it already. Why are you trying to fight with him? Just because your upset at us there’s no reason for you to take it out on Rath. He didn’t have anything to do with Zan’s death. I’m sure of that.” Isabel injected, knowing that this was her opportunity to get on Rath’s side. Or at least to pretend. What Tess said hit awfully close to home and it scared her. Scared her badly. Rath looked like he was going to go crazy and they couldn’t afford for him to go off like a loose cannon right now. Who knew what he was capable of?
Rath turned to the softer version of Lonnie and wished for a moment that Isabel was really Lonnie. Why couldn’t Lonnie ever look at him like that? Why couldn’t she ever give him a kind word? Or treat him with the respect that he fucking deserved? She was soft, and she was just as useless as Tess and the humans. What the hell had he gotten himself into? Why had he killed Zan? Why had he killed his best friend? Because of that bitch that he had always loved, even though she didn’t love him. Lonnie had never loved him. Only used him, the same way she had used him back on Antar. His entire life he had been used by that woman.
“Isabel. . . “
Isabel shook her head at her brother, stopping him from continuing whatever he wanted to say. It did appear that Rath was calming down a little bit at her words. “I’m sorry, Rath. I really am. You don’t deserve to hear us complain and argue with each other. As you can tell, there’s a lot that goes on with us. I’m so sorry, Rath. So sorry.”
“What the hell are you trying to pull, Isabel? Do you think that he really cares about what you have to say?” Lonnie said caustically, not liking the way that Isabel was talking to Rath. With such kindness, it seemed that she was trying to butter him up. The bitch didn’t realize that she was playing with fire. There was no way that Lonnie would let anyone take away her hold on Rath. She had been in control of him since they were little.
Tess watched the words passing between Isabel and Lonnie. Isabel was a smart one, trying to calm him down, whereas Tess had done everything possible to get him pissed off. And in doing so, Isabel was getting Lonnie pissed. The dupe looked like she was ready to spit fire. Tess didn’t know who she was more worried about, Rath, who had suddenly become so silent or Lonnie. They were both dangerous.
“You know what, shut up both of you. I’m tired of listening to you. You’ve never cared about me, Lonnie. I’ve only been your puppet throughout all the years. I killed my best friend because of you and to go home. And you, I know what your doing. I’m not as stupid as you think.” Rath cried, his emotions getting the best of him. He looked between the two women, who wore the same faces but were completely different. He wished that he was strong enough to do it to Lonnie, but since he was weak, he took the easy way out and blasted a shot out at Isabel.
Tess saw it coming and since she was closest to Isabel, pushed past Kyle and threw herself in front of the other woman, but not before she threw her own fire ball at Rath. She and Isabel tumbled to the ground, and everything inside of her focused on the pain that was burning in her. Her arm and her rib cage were screaming with pain from where the blast had hit her. She lay on the floor, wishing the pain would abate.
Max responded instantly by throwing a blast of air at Lonnie that sent her hurtling against the wall, where she landed with a sickening thud. Max ran to where she was at, and quickly checked her over to make sure that he hadn’t hurt her, just knocked her unconscious. Max turned his attention to the stairs at the noise and smiled when he saw Michael with Maria, Alex and the sheriff. “Better late than never, right?”
“You know me, Max. I like to make an entrance. What the hell happened? What did I miss?” Michael replied, as he took in everything. Liz, looked shell shocked, while Kyle and Isabel were fawning over Tess. And that appeared to be his dupe on the floor dead.
“Max, you’d better come over here. The bleeding looks pretty bad.” Kyle remarked, swallowing hard as he pressed his hands harder on the wounds. It looked like she had been gored.
“Michael, take care of Lonnie. Tie her up, inject her with that medicine crap. Just. . take care of her.” Max told his friend as he rushed over to where Tess was and pushed Kyle and Isabel away. Damn it. This was all his fault. He was the one that hadn’t taken control of the situation and now Tess was on the floor bleeding.
Tess groaned at the contact that Max made with her burning flesh. It was just what she deserved for opening her big mouth. She was the one who had been pressing so hard at Rath, wanting to argue with him, wanting for something to happen and it had happened. And she had killed him. Just the thought of what she had done made her stomach turn. Once a long time ago, she had been responsible for someone’s death and it was something that she had never wanted to do again. But in the end, she knew that sometimes things had to be done regardless of how she felt about them.
What was wrong with her? Had she said all those things on purpose in hopes something would happen? Something completely self destructive, which scared the crap out of her. Was she turning destructive, did she want to get hurt in some way since she had found out that her entire life had been a lie. She wasn’t a member of the royal four, she was nothing but a spare. Where did that leave her in the grand scheme of things?
“Hey, Tess. Open your eyes. Look at me.” Max coaxed, smiling when she finally opened her eyes. Never again was he going to keep any secrets from his group, seeing the way Tess reacted was enough for him. He had been in a position similar to her, when he hadn’t known anything about Vilandra. It could have become so much of a bigger problem if he had never found out about it, and he would probably have been pissed at Isabel if she hadn’t told him. Even though it was easier to ignore the truth, it was definitely no way to live.
Max put his hands over the gaping hole in Tess’ body and concentrate everything in him on her. Making her better, making things up to her. The lies and the deceit that hadn’t been necessary. Once he connected to her, flashes passed through his mind at a lightening speed that he couldn’t decipher them all: the sensation of being cold, a young Tess shivering on the floor, a man reaching up to get her hand. Crying, shaking, a slap across the face. Fear, devastation, loneliness.
It was all coming so fast that Max couldn’t understand them all. But what it did for him was made him fully see what kind of life Tess had, and it was one that he would never wish on anyone. He wished that Tess had been raised with him and Isabel, he wished that her entire life had been different, that she had been accepted. Despite the things that Max had help keep from her, he saw that she didn’t hate him, that she wasn’t angry or hold it against them. No, instead, she was frightened about what it made her.
Max took his bloody hand away from Tess and smiled at her again. “You’re going to be okay, Tess. I want you to know no matter what, you are part of my family.”
<center>*****</center>
“Well. . . look who’s awake.” Michael said sarcastically when he saw that Lonnie was waking up finally. The crazy bitch had been out for a couple of hours. In that time, they had disposed of Rath’s body, which to him was weird considering that was like his twin. But he forced himself not to think too much about it.
Tess took in a deep breath as she watched Lonnie struggle to get out of her binds. Lonnie was the last of her so called family, the rest of them were gone. Zan was gone, and she had never meet him. And Rath was now dead, by her hands. Lonnie. Would she have even accepted Tess if they had known each other? Been raised together? Probably not. It seemed that Lonnie had only been concerned about herself.
“I’m sorry about you being tied up, but we can’t take any chances. You understand. What were your plans, Lonnie? Get me and Max to go with you to the summit and than what? Would you have killed us? Had us killed? What?” Tess asked quietly, as she sat down next to Lonnie. She had done a lot of thinking in the past couple of hours and had come to a startling conclusion about herself, about the rest of her life.
Lonnie looked into the eyes of Ava’s duplicate and knew that there was nothing she could do to get out of this situation. She was the one responsible for her being in this situation, she and Rath in their instance to get back to Antar. And she had the strange feeling that she wasn’t going to ever see it again. She was never going to be the person she wanted to be. She would always be a little nothing person. “Fine, I’ll tell you what we planned. But what the hell happened to my powers?”
Max stepped closer to Tess and Lonnie and looked down at them and gave her a crooked smile. “We got some stuff that’s able to discontinue one’s powers. I guess it was a good thing that I was kidnaped by the special unit. We got some nifty parting gifts, and that was one of them.”
Lonnie snorted at his words and took in a deep breath, wondering where the hell she was supposed to start. Hell, she wondered where it all started with her. Why she turned out the way she did? Why she ended up turning her back on her own brother? “I don’t like this life I’ve had. None of us ever have. Livin’ with nothin’ was not what we deserved.”
Tess gave Lonnie a sad smile at her words. None of them deserved the things that they had gotten, but it was the luck of the draw. This was the way that things were meant to be. Just one of those facts that she had finally accepted within herself and decided to stop crying about the way her life had been. “Lonnie, what you don’t realize is that this is the way things are supposed to be. I wished for an awful long time that my life was completely different. But wishing it was different doesn’t change the way things are. Destiny brought us to this point, and by all accounts I should have been growing up right besides you. But I wasn’t and maybe it would have made a difference in both of us if we had been.”
“Answer me this Liz. How did you get here?” Lonnie asked, looking over at the petite brunette. Things still didn’t make any sense to her. Why Tess and Ava had been switched and why Neith was here? She didn’t want to think about Tess’ words, so she just decided to ignore them. She didn’t want to think that her entire life had been meant to be this way. She didn’t want for it to. She wanted something different for herself.
Liz looked up from the floor, which had been very interesting to her for the last hour. The last hour in which she had sat on a chair, staring at the floor. Listless that’s what she was, and she didn’t know why. Because the truth about Neith was finally revealed, and it was one that she wasn’t too happy about. It made it all too real. “The woman who’s supposed to be my mother really isn’t. Evidently, she’s one of Neith’s priestesses and brought me down to earth. Hmm. . . funny isn’t, Lonnie. I had an entirely boring human life until I was sixteen years old, and now I’m anything but.”
“Try havin’ to deal when you’re a little kid. It ain’t easy.” Lonnie snorted, feeling slightly bad for the other girl. Which was something that she wasn’t at all used to. She didn’t know why she even felt bad, because there was no way in hell that they would ever feel sorry for her, or even understand the things that she had went through. She hated her life and everything that had ever happened to her.
“I’m sure it wasn’t. But it’s not an excuse.” Liz said softly, stopping after she realized the tone that she had used. She didn’t want it to seem that she believed Lonnie was just making excuses for her bad behavior.
Tess found it all amusing, but knew that she had to keep her heart like steel when it came to this girl. She had the feeling that Lonnie was an excellent judge of character and knew how a person might react. A person who changed her moods, her tone, her actions in accordance to how the other person responded. And she wasn’t going to be one of Lonnie’s victims, especially after the way she had seen Rath. “Well, if your going to blame it on your childhood, you might as well tell us the story of your childhood. Why did you turn out this way? Makes me wonder if I would have turned out the same way as you if I’d been raised with you.”
“Yup, you’d be just like me.” Lonnie said with a snort. Tess should have been at her side all of these years, but she had been off, doing god knows what. And she had been stuck with Ava, who had always been in the corners of the room. Going to the library, doing artsy things. Never once caring about what happened to her or to Rath. The only one that she had ever cared about was Zan.
“I guess we’ll never know, right? I have done my fair share of shitty things since I’ve come here, Lonnie. Things that I know weren’t right, but I still did them. Sometimes I don’t know how I could live with myself. How do you? How do you live with yourself?” Tess wondered, making sure to keep her tone soft. She didn’t want Lonnie to think that she believed her to be completely horrible. Sure was sure that somewhere in there was someone hiding. The real Lonnie was hiding from all of them. Hell, Lonnie probably didn’t even know what she was really like.
“Don’t know. I manage.”
Max didn’t say anything as he watched Tess and Lonnie. They had agreed that Tess would probably be the best one to talk to Lonnie. After all, she was the one who knew what it was like to be in this sort of position, both as hostage and captor. And for all they knew, Lonnie could hold some hope of a relationship with Tess, who by all accounts should have been raised with her. But than again, it was all just a big maybe. They didn’t know what to expect, they didn’t know what secrets Lonnie held. Or what had been her part in everything.
“Yeah, I know how that happens. Just managing to live, even though it’s not really called living. I grew up with my so called protector and lets just say protecting me wasn’t his top priority. But you know, I did manage. I’m here and I’m alive. What did you do to stay alive?” Tess pondered, wanting to reach out and comfort Lonnie, but she suspected that the other girl would flinch at the first touch of contact. She knew that it was that part of her that was human, that cared about the suffering of people that made her wonder about Lonnie. Was Lonnie a truly horrible person?
“Anythin’ and everythin’. I was thirteen the first time I killed a man. And he wasn’t the last.” Lonnie responded, knowing that her words would shock these teens. These teens who knew nothing about the ways of her life, the things that she had done. Her life hadn’t been easy, not as easy as the life of Isabel Evans had obviously been. God, she hated Isabel. Hated her for everything that she had. Why couldn’t she have had a life like hers?
“Well, I’ve got you beat. I killed someone when I was ten years old. My protector forced me to do it. Someone had gotten too close to us, and he got into the house and was going to kill me. I was ten years old, a little girl who shouldn’t have had to do something like that. So I understand you, Lonnie.” Tess said quietly. What she had done haunted her for most of her life, but it had been something she kept to herself. Something she hadn’t wanted to share with anyone. For fear of how everyone might react.
Lonnie cocked her head at Tess’ words and smiled. Who would have thought? Perfect looking, confident Tess had murdered someone at the delicate age of ten. Tess was the same as her, exactly the same. They would have been like sisters if Tess had been with her. “Ya understand me? I don’t even understand myself.”
“What were your plans, Lonnie? How were you going to get back to Antar? By way of the summit? Khivar? Kellen?” Tess continued, getting the distinct sense that Lonnie was loosening up a little. She felt it and it scared her: the connection she felt with Lonnie. It was something that she hadn’t felt for Isabel. The sisterly feeling.
“Who’s Kellen?”
Tess shared a look with Max at Lonnie’s question. So Lonnie knew nothing about Kellen on earth? What exactly had been going through her mind? What had her and Rath’s plans been? There was no way that she was going to tell Lonnie who Kellen really was. “One of Khivar’s advisors that is here on earth. I think he’s pretty much in charge of the entire thing.”
“Your wrong, Tess. The person who contacted us was named Nicholas. He’s Khivar’s right hand man.”
Tess narrowed her eyes at Lonnie’s words, wondering if she had ever heard that name before. But she knew that she hadn’t. The only names that she had learnt from Courtney were: Elias, Cillian and Ceyla. Had they finally found out what the name of the enemy was? Was this Nicholas really Khivar’s right hand man? And if so, where was he? Standing over their shoulders, watching them, waiting for the perfect moment to strike.
