Eva- Howdy Eva! good to see you.

Yup, we've been a bit busy again. lol. Glad you are enjoying the story.
xilaj- Thank you. We love Kyle. He's a good friend.
keepsmiling7- Thank you! We do as well.
Part Five
Maria’s POV
The wind was gusting heavily and the temperature inside the cabin seemed to drop a little more with every passing minute. She stared at the window across the room when it rattled, her body shuddering from a combination of cold and fear. In all the years they had been on the run, all the times they’d fought, this was the first time he’d ever just walked out.
Oh, she knew he’d be somewhere close by, keeping watch. And she knew in time he’d come back. It wasn’t in him to just leave her here, she knew that. She was just afraid he was ready for things between them to end. Why now? It wasn’t the dog issue, she was sure of that. She didn’t think it was just her wanting to settle down in one place either, although she had a feeling that was a big part of it.
Maybe he’d just become accustomed to running. Maybe he just didn’t want to settle down. Or maybe he was just tired of her. She sighed, the sound dejected even to her own ears. She wished he would just talk to her. She wasn’t a mind reader. Guessing when it came to what Michael Guerin was thinking was an exercise in futility. She needed to know what she was up against. She needed to know if it was time to let him go or if there was anything left to fight for.
Her fingers dragged over the coarse material of the threadbare sheets and she glanced around the cabin. Michael had a special talent for finding dumps like this. They had a perfectly nice home with a big bed covered in soft micro fleece sheets and thick warm blankets. And where were they? She wasn’t even sure where they were. Maybe they weren’t even in Canada any longer.
Whatever had spooked Michael this time had kept them moving well beyond what was strictly necessary. She wasn’t sure she even believed his reason for running this time. It felt like he’d latched onto the first convenient excuse, she just didn’t know why. She knew where her insecurities were taking her, but she really wanted some cold hard facts to measure his actions up against.
She shifted around and winced when the lumpy mattress dug into her back. The damn thing was so uncomfortable. Why weren’t they at home? They had a perfectly comfortable bed at home. A bed that they had actually picked out together months ago, before things had started to become so strained between them.
She squeezed her eyes shut when the arguments that had become so frequent over the past few months began to play in her mind, culminating in their last fight. The words, the volume of their voices – mostly hers since his contribution had mainly been him standing there with that look on his face – only got louder. She needed something to focus on, something to distract her and give her the reprieve of silence. At this point she knew peace was too much to ask for, but maybe she would be granted a few minutes of quiet.
Exhaustion seemed to fill her being, taking up residence in every inch of her body, and in spite of the uncomfortable mattress she could feel herself slipping away. She jerked once and her eyes fluttered open, searching the room and locating a dim point of light coming from beneath the door that led out into the main room.
She dragged herself up and over to the door, opening it and peering out into the other room. She didn’t hear a sound but she could see the shadows dancing on the walls, an indicator that the logs in the fireplace had come to life. She ventured further into the room, certain Michael hadn’t yet returned.
The familiar sound of logs crackling and the heat from the fire now blazing in the fireplace drew her like a moth to a flame. Hands extended in front of her she approached the roughhewn fireplace and the warmth immediately infused her being, comforting and soothing to nerves worn too thin.
Something off to her left glittered and she turned her head, squinting in an effort to make out the unfamiliar shapes. She crossed the room to look at the bookcase she had failed to notice before and she reached out to rest a hand on the snow globe sitting on the top shelf. It was large with a heavy wooden base that proudly boasted a brass plaque with a name engraved on it. She picked it up and shook it, bringing the glittering snow inside to life in a swirl of activity. Three white polar bears stood inside, their paws interlocked to form a circle around an igloo with a small penguin perched on top.
She set the snow globe down and let her fingertips trail over the children’s books lined up and filling the second shelf. Children’s books seemed rather out of place in a remote hunting cabin. She leaned in closer to scan the few titles she could make out in the dim light. “A Christmas for Cindy Bear,” she mused quietly before her eyes lifted back to the snow globe. Polar bears, polar bears… there was something very familiar about this scene.
“Maria?”
The quiet voice, so out of place in this setting, pulled her out of her musings and she raised her gaze back to the snow globe and the name plate. Her fingers traced over the letters that were suddenly illuminated as the flames leapt higher in the fireplace. Caleb. She turned slowly and she found herself staring in disbelief at her best friend.
“Liz,” she whispered, her voice wavering with emotion. She took in the sight of Liz sitting in a rocking chair next to the fireplace, the blinking lights from the Christmas tree next to her casting colored flashes of light against her skin. Caleb lay calmly in her arms, his eyes heavy-lidded as he fought to focus on the tree.
“Oh, Maria,” Liz said, her voice heavy with concern, “what’s going on?”
“I wish I knew. It’s been so hard for a while now, but it’s only gotten worse the past couple of months. I can feel Michael pulling away from me, shutting me out. And I know I’m not helping, I know that. I’ve been irritable and short-tempered, but the more he shuts down the more anxious I get. It’s Christmas Eve, Liz, and he walked out.” She looked away and swallowed with difficulty. “He’s never walked out before.”
Liz stood and took Maria in her arms. “It’s gonna be okay, Maria. I don’t know what’s going on with Michael, but the one thing I am sure of where he’s concerned is that he loves you.”
“I know he loves me. I just don’t think that’s enough anymore.”
“Sweetie, you have to give him a chance to explain.”
Maria gave a watery laugh. “Michael explaining anything, especially his feelings…” she shook her head. “That’s just not his thing.”
“Give him the chance, Maria. That man doesn’t want to lose you.”
She closed her eyes tiredly. She wanted to believe that. She wanted so badly to believe it. But she couldn’t stop the doubts that had started creeping in months ago, doubts that had seemed to be validated with every fight, every extra shift he volunteered for, every time he’d given her a reason why he couldn’t go out and do something with her, and finally the excuse he’d made to uproot them yet again. She wanted to believe but she was just so tired… so very tired.
Michael’s POV
Michael slowed as he neared the sharp turn at the base of the hill, carefully maneuvering the car over the slick spots. If anyone had told him ten years ago that he’d become accustomed to being up to his knees in snow he would’ve laughed them off of the planet. He pressed his right hand over the vent but the heat did little more than cause his burning flesh to sting even worse than it already did.
His mind was actively turning over everything his brain had dredged up the past few hours, trying to figure out how to handle the situation. It was past time to find new ways to cope with his issues because if he didn’t, if he didn’t open himself up to the possibilities, he was going to lose Maria for good. That wasn’t an option he was willing to entertain. He could kick himself for letting things get so far out of hand. He hadn’t meant to, but that didn’t change the fact that he had.
His foot dropped off of the gas pedal when he passed the office where he’d rented the cabin and noticed the light pouring out through the windows. He shot a glance at the clock on the dash, wondering why the office wasn’t locked up tight. Without giving it a second thought he pulled up by the gas pump and got out, his fingers feeling thick and clumsy as he grappled with the handle.
He’d put Maria through hell for the past two days. Running into the house and telling her they had to leave, arguing with her instead of trying to explain himself while he shoved things in a couple of bags and hauled them and her out of the house, driving like a madman for endless hours without stopping for much more than gas and then dumping her in the cabin. Hell, he hadn’t even made sure she had a decent meal in all those hours.
He shook his head at his stupidity. He’d pushed too hard, too far this time. His own fears and his sense of self-preservation had allowed him to risk the one thing that meant the most to him. He rested his hand on the pump handle, calculating how much gas he needed while going over the last thing she’d said to him.
“I don’t know if I can do this anymore.”
In all the years they’d been together, with all the arguments and fights they’d had, she’d never once thrown those words at him. He tipped his head back and looked up at the sky, taking in the stars that dotted the black canvas. He drew in a deep breath as his eyes settled on the North Star, recalling a story Maria had rattled off several years back when they had been driving through South Dakota. Something about the son of an Indian chief getting lost and finding his way back home using it as a guide. There were plenty of stories out there about people doing the same thing. He exhaled and his breath hung on the air for several seconds before dissipating. Maybe there was some truth in the stories.
He shoved his hands in his coat pockets and lowered his gaze to the candle flickering in the window. He wondered why it was lit when it was apparent that there was nothing wrong with the electricity. It suddenly hit him that it was Christmas morning and all he’d given the woman he loved was more heartache.
Maria had given him everything including a comfortable home and in a fit of discomfort he’d pulled the rug out from under her and taken it all away. He didn’t want that to be his legacy. He wanted, for once, to give her a gift that held meaning. Yet here he was, once again, without a gift and with only an unacceptable shopping option to locate one.
He sighed and shook his head as he eyed the cheerfully blinking ‘open’ sign above the candle. It was quite possible this was an even worse place to buy a Christmas gift than the hardware store. But, beggars couldn’t be choosers, could they? With a determined stride he walked up to the door and pulled it open, barely noticing the warm air that rushed to greet him.
He nodded at the old man who looked up from behind the counter, taking in the faded blue eyes beneath bushy white eyebrows. The chair creaked when he sat forward to place his book on the counter before slowly getting to his feet and stretching.
“Well, Merry Christmas, Mr. Delaney.”
Michael mumbled a response and headed for the small aisles to browse what the store had to offer. He had lost count of the phony names they’d used over the years. Maria had turned it into a game or sorts, scrambling the letters of the real names of the people she cared most about and seeing how many names she could come up with. It was her way of holding onto them and it had taken years for him to recognize the coping mechanism for what it was.
He could feel the old man’s eyes on him as he shuffled through the aisles. He’d long ago learned to trust his instincts and nothing about the small store’s proprietor had set his alarms off. His gaze scanned over the items on the shelves, taking inventory of the possible options. Nothing suitable for a gift, but more than enough choices to at least make her a decent meal… and it was the least he could do for her.
He sighed and snagged a box of pancake mix, a small bottle of oil and a package of chocolate chips. Yeah, he thought with a shake of his head, because making her favorite pancakes would fix everything. He’d screwed up big time. He couldn’t possibly go back to the cabin with nothing solid to offer her.
He reached around and rested his hand over his back pocket for a moment before pulling his wallet out. He popped the snaps on it and ran a thumb over the thick stack of bills inside. He’d always kept a good amount of cash on hand because he never knew when they might have to hit the road, but thanks to all the overtime he’d been putting in for the past couple of months he’d socked away considerably more than normal. He slid his wallet back in his pocket and grabbed a bottle of syrup, tucking it under his arm before making his way over to the cold case.
It only took a few seconds to locate the breakfast sausage and add a package to his collection but it didn’t do anything for his dilemma. He still didn’t have anything to offer her. He made a face when he turned and saw a small display of Christmas flowers. No way. He wasn’t a flowers kinda guy and not just because that one time had blown up in his face. It just wasn’t his thing. He continued on his way, pausing when he reached the aisle of personal hygiene products. He gave the items there a brief glance before dismissing them as unacceptable.
Dejected, he was turning to head to the register with his meager groceries when a sign on the wall over a darkened doorway caught his attention.
Gouden’s Gifts. It was hand carved and it gleamed in the weak light that filtered up to illuminate it. His head snapped to the side when the room suddenly lit up.
“Go ahead, Mr. Delaney, have a look around.” He motioned to the younger man to come closer. “Why don’t you set those things down, free your hands up while you browse.”
“Well…”
The old man chuckled and repeated the motion when his customer shot a glance at the clock. “It’s perfectly fine, son. I’m not in any rush.”
Michael hesitated, but after a moment he nodded and moved to place the items on the counter. He didn’t want to go to Maria empty-handed. He shrugged a shoulder at the candle burning in the window. “You expecting the power to go out tonight?”
“Oh, no. That happens regular enough, but that’s not why the candle’s lit. It was a tradition of my wife’s and so it became mine as well.” He smiled and there was sadness in the depths of his eyes. “It’s to welcome the Christ Child.”
“Why?” He cleared his throat when he realized how abrupt and rude his question probably came across. “I just mean He wasn’t actually born on Christmas Day.”
“No, you’re right about that,” he said as he moved around the counter to join the younger man to lead the way over to the other side of the store. “But, truth is we don’t know the actual date of His birth and this is as good a day as any to celebrate. He stepped through the doorway and glanced at him. “Have you done much studying on the date of His birth?”
“Me? No, I have a friend who’s a Buddhist and he’s taken an interest in a lot of different things.” And Kyle had gone on and on about the inaccuracies surrounding Christmas a few years back when he’d gotten his hands on a book of comparative religion and proceeded to share the wealth of his knowledge. He was sure he’d nearly laughed himself stupid when Isabel had finally had enough and that book had sailed across the room when Kyle rattled off one theory too many. He was just glad he’d been there to witness it.
“Buddhist, eh?” He scratched his head and reached up to adjust his hat, only realizing it wasn’t there when he came into contact with empty space. “Very peaceful people, Buddhists,” he said as he leaned over the counter to retrieve his hat. He nodded to himself as he settled it in place and turned back around.
“Known many of them, have you?” Michael questioned as the old guy joined him. He shot a quick glance at the hat – black faded material with words embroidered in what was once yellow-gold colored thread. He’d seen similar hats before, worn by veterans, and he wasn’t positive but he was pretty sure the words were the names of military campaigns or battles. He’d found one in the footlocker in Hank’s room when he was eight years old along with a purple and gold heart-shaped medal. He hadn’t had any idea of the significance of the items at the time. Hank had caught him and he’d made sure Michael never forgot it was off limits. It was the first time the cold-hearted bastard had drawn blood when he hit him. He shook the memory off. He hadn’t thought about that in years and there was no need to go there now.
“Just one,” he said with a smile as he led the way into the gift shop. “What about you?”
“Just the one. He’s more than enough.” He shrugged at the man’s appraising look. “Good friend,” he admitted finally.
“I didn’t know Trang long but I think we’d have been very good friends given the chance.” He nodded when the younger man glanced at his hat. “I only knew him for seven hours but we had a conversation I’ll never forget.”
“Battlefield conversation?”
“No, R&R in Saigon, summer of ‘63. I was headed for a dive bar with some buddies when we ran across a group of GI’s harassing a man.”
“Trang,” Michael guessed.
“Um-hmm. Most of the guys went on to the bar. Most of them weren’t interested in getting involved in something they saw as none of their business and a couple of them wouldn’t be bothered to help anyone who was Vietnamese.”
What a sad commentary on humanity, he thought.
“But you stepped in.”
He nodded. “Yeah, got a black eye and a tooth knocked out, but it was well worth it.”
“Got a conversation you’ll never forget for your trouble.”
The old man chuckled. “That I did. Sometimes we’re gifted with a brief moment with someone that changes our lives in some way. You don’t strike me as much of a conversationalist but I’ll bet you’d appreciate a moment in time like that too.” He tipped his head to one side and reached up to rub his left ear. “I’d even wager you’ve had one or two of those in your life already.”
He reached out to run his hand over the high back of a wooden rocking chair, fingertips trailing over the thin strings that secured the floral-patterned cushion to its back. Yeah, he’d had a couple of those. Hal Carver and Jim Valenti immediately came to mind. “So you and Trang never talked again after that night?”
“No.” He smiled sadly. “You know much about the Buddhist crisis?”
More than he wanted to thanks to Kyle. Rather than say that though, he just nodded. “I’ve read about it.” His eyebrows lifted in interest. “He was part of the resistance?”
“Yeah. He was killed a few days after we met.” He shook his head. “A lot of Buddhists were killed or disappeared when the pagodas in South Vietnam were raided.”
“That what happened to Trang?”
“He died fighting for what he believed in.” His eyes took on a faraway look as he remembered a conversation in a back alley dive. “I was disillusioned when we met. I couldn’t honestly tell you why I was there or what I was fighting for. Twenty-four years old, thousands of miles from my new wife and my home,” he sighed, “and I was bone tired. Trang gave me a renewed sense of purpose that night. He was passionate about his beliefs. I realized I had something to fight for, someone to fight for, and it made a big difference.”
“If you have someone to fight for you’ve got everything.”
“I couldn’t agree more.” He chuckled when the younger man’s head snapped up and it was apparent by the expression on his face that he hadn’t realized he’d spoken aloud. “Many Buddhists believe the Good Lord’s teachings compliment their own beliefs.” He turned his head to glance at the candle burning in the window. “You said you have a friend who’s a Buddhist. Does he celebrate Christmas?”
Michael snorted. Did Christmas reindeer fly? Did Santa Claus wear a mistletoe jockstrap? Hell yes, Kyle celebrated Christmas. “Yeah, you might say he’s married to Mrs. Claus, so like it or not it’s a holiday staple in their house.” He shrugged one shoulder. “She doesn’t have to twist his arm much. They’ve got kids so he gets into it more than he ever did before.”
“Kids will do that for you.”
“Yeah, I guess,” he said thinking of his friends and how engaged they were when holidays – especially Christmas, came around now that kids were a part of the picture.
“No little ones at home, Mr. Delaney?”
“No.” He ran a hand through his hair. “And it’s just Michael.”
That earned him a grin and an extended hand. “Pleased to meet you, Michael. You can call me Larry.” He glanced around the room. “Are you looking for anything in particular? Something for your wife maybe?”
“I don’t…” he trailed off when his gaze landed on the far wall and the blanket hanging there. It was practical, which met his criteria, and it was something Maria would appreciate. He nodded at the blanket. “Is that blanket for sale?”
Larry turned to follow the young man’s pointing finger and he hid a smile. “You have a good eye, Michael. C’mon, let’s take a look at it.”
“It’s not very thick,” Michael mumbled once he held it in his hands.
“They don’t have to be thick to be warm. Trust me, my wife made them for years. It’ll last for years and you’ll be surprised just how warm it is.”
“Well, it’s a nice color.”
Larry couldn’t hold in the chuckle. It was easy to see Michael was out of his depth here. “Does your wife have a preferred color scheme or anything for your bedroom?”
“Huh?”
“Some women are pretty set when it comes to color schemes and the like.”
“Uh, no, Maria’s kinda… eclectic.” He pressed his hand over the circular patterns that decorated the blanket, er, quilt. “She’ll like it. Yeah, this’ll work.”
“Well, let’s get it wrapped up for her.”
“It’ll be okay as long as you’ve got a bag to put it in.”
Larry reached over and patted him on the shoulder. “Son, a gift like this doesn’t just get shoved in a grocery sack.” He readjusted his hat and reached for the quilt. “My wife made these quilts for years and I made the boxes for them.”
Michael followed him back to the counter and watched him as he folded the quilt, his wrinkled hands smoothing the material down. He tipped his head to the side when one of the corners caught his eye and he reached out to flip it back. His thumb traced over the small rectangular piece of silky material sewn to the back corner. Thanks to Kyle he recognized the colors and pattern that depicted the Buddhist flag. He wondered if she’d chosen to use it because of what it symbolized to her husband. Bright blue thread was stitched to spell out a name over the multi-colored material.
Betty G. His eyes lifted to Larry and he looked away from the raw pain visible in the man’s eyes as they rested on the name.
His gaze settled on the hand that moved to rest near his and he stared at the scarred gold band on the man’s third finger. It matched the hands that bore the scars of a lifetime of hard work; building, carving, fighting, and living.
“She was quite a woman, my Betty.”
“She must’ve been,” Michael agreed softly.
“Excuse me a moment.”
He nodded and waited, his eyes wandering to the candle burning in the window once more.
A light to guide the way, he thought.
“Here we go.” Larry placed a large box on the counter and lifted the hand-carved lid off, setting it aside. “It’s not a Christmas theme,” he said apologetically as he gestured to the scene carved into the lid.
Michael’s eyes traced over the scene – a log home surrounded by trees, a wisp of smoke curling up from the chimney, and a dog watching over his family from his position on the covered porch. He shook his head. “No, this’s perfect.”
“If you’d like I can carve your names on the box with the date of your wedding.”
Michael glanced up at him, confusion etched clearly on his face. “What?”
Larry smiled and reached out to run a fingertip along the circular pattern. “See the way the rings are interlocked? This is a wedding quilt, Michael. The rings symbolize love, marriage, and permanence. When is your anniversary?”
A wedding quilt, he mused. A symbol of permanence, of stability and most importantly, a promise… a promise he should’ve given her a long time ago. “No need to carve anything else on the box. It’s perfect as is.” He shook his head and reached up to scratch his eyebrow with his thumb. “If and when she says yes maybe I’ll find my way back here to get the finishing touch put on it.”