Roswell Fanatics

Dedicated to: Antarian Pixie, Sternbetrachter, InTheStars.

Chapter Ten


“You want to what? Isabel, I don’t know what to say. A baby?” Sean asked, looking over his wife’s form. He didn’t know if he was ready to have a baby. A baby was going to be a lifetime commitment, and they both were still so young. They’d only been married for nine months, and Isabel wanted to have a baby already?

“Yes, Sean. I want to have a baby. I mean, we have everything necessary to have a baby. We both make enough money, and wouldn’t you love to have a baby. A child of our own. One that we can raise.” Isabel said softly. All she wanted was to have a baby, to raise her own child. She had seen Max and Liz with their children and she wanted that. She wanted to carry a baby for nine months, she wanted to have to wake up at three in the morning for a feeding. She wanted to go through all of that.

“Isabel, I don’t. I really don’t know. Are you sure that you want to have a baby? I mean, it’s not going to be easy, it’s going to be hard. Do you really think that you can afford to take off a year, maybe more in order to have a baby? Aren’t you in talks to do From Start to Finish?” Sean asked, trying to talk some sense into Isabel. He loved his wife, and he knew that he wouldn’t mind having a child with her, but he didn’t think that right now was the right time to be thinking about children.

“Yes, I can, Sean. I can. And no one can stop me from having a baby. Just because I’m in talks for the movie doesn’t mean much to me. If I get pregnant, I get pregnant. They’ll have to deal with it. I want to have a baby, Sean. I need to have a baby. Please.” Isabel whispered, not liking the needy tone in her voice. But she needed to have a baby.

“Alright, why not? Let’s try to have a baby.” Sean conceded, wanting Isabel to be happy. He loved her and he couldn’t tell her no to anything. And he could see how much she wanted to have a baby, he could see it in her eyes, and he was going to try to give her one. A child of their own.

**********

“Mrs. Reynolds, reviewing your symptoms, I came to the conclusion that your suffering from endometriosis.”’ Dr. Pierce told the young woman sitting in front of him. He was sorry that he had to be telling her this, since he knew how much she wanted to have a child.

“What is that? What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I get pregnant?” Isabel asked worriedly, looking over at Sean, who was equally stunned. He squeezed her hand in encouragement, trying to understand what the doctor had just told the two of them.

“Endometriosis is a condition in which tissues of the uterus lining leave the uterus, and attach themselves to other areas of the body, and grow, causing pain and irregular bleeding and in the most severe cases, infertility. Now, before you worry, it doesn’t appear that your infertile, but your chances for getting pregnant are reduced because of this condition.” Dr. Pierce explained to Isabel, hating himself when he saw the tears come into her eyes.

“But she can still get pregnant, right? I mean, her chances are only reduced, but it can happen?” Sean wondered, not liking this whole thing. It meant everything to Isabel to have a child, and now here the doctor was telling them that she might not be able to have one. Over the last three months, they had made love at least once a day trying to get pregnant, but it hadn’t happened. And Isabel had been convinced that there was something wrong with her, that it somehow was her fault that she couldn’t get pregnant. Isabel hadn’t told him why she was so convinced that it was her own fault, but she was the one that had decided to go to this fertility specialist.

Isabel took in a deep breath at Dr. Pierce’s words. She knew it. She knew that it had been all of her fault. That she had done something wrong to begin with. She knew that she had. Isabel was positive. It was coming back to haunt her. The abortion that she had was the reason why this was happening to her. That was the reason that she probably couldn’t have a baby now. Because of the abortion.

“Yes, I’m pretty certain that Isabel can have a child. Here’s what we have to do. Now, you have mild symptoms of this condition, Isabel. Pain relievers are recommended to begin attempting to become pregnant for a period of six months to one year. If pregnancy doesn’t occur during this time, other treatments will be needed, depending on your history. Now, if it’s that serious there’s drug treatments or in the most severe cases, surgery.” Dr. Pierce continued.

“Alright, fine. Give me the pain relievers. I want to have a baby, and I’m willing to do whatever is necessary to have one.” Isabel spoke up, wanting to be able to treat this condition that she had. Wanting to have a baby already. Wanting to give life to her own child. Wanting to be able to hold her own child in her arms.

**********

“So everything’s okay with you, Max?” Isabel asked her brother with a smile. She hadn’t been able to spend much time with him in the past few months, with her and Sean attempting to have a baby. And than finding out about her condition. And working on From Start to Finish. She was completely swamped with things, and had been neglecting her brother, and her husband. God, she knew that her busy schedule was taking its toll on her marriage with Sean.

“Oh, everything’s been really good. We’re all fine. Me, Liz, Phillip and Matt. You know they miss their aunt Isabel, who they haven’t seen in awhile. But you’ve been really busy haven’t you? Working on that movie with what’s his name?” Max said with a smile. Everything was going wonderfully for him and his family. They were all fine, but than again, everything had always been good for them.

“Yes, things are fine for me. I mean, everything’s wonderful.” Isabel said quietly, not wanting to tell him about her condition. That wasn’t something that she wanted to talk about. Not with her brother. God, she was so jealous of Max’s life. Everything was always so perfect for him. He never had to worry about money or anything, and he had the perfect life with Liz. They had the perfect wonderful family with their two children.

“Isabel, why do I think that your not telling me the truth?”Max asked, looking over his sister. He could tell that she wasn’t telling him the truth. He knew his sister, and he knew that she was lying to him about something. That there was something that she wasn’t saying.

“Alright, Sean and I are trying to have a baby. We want to have a baby, but it’s not happening. Because of me. There’s something wrong inside of me that’s making it hard. I feel so useless, because I was pregnant once. I never told anyone that I was pregnant, because I had an abortion. I guess in some weird way I thought my difficulty getting pregnant was because of the abortion.” Isabel confessed, wanting to get the huge weight of what had happened off of her shoulders. It took so much out of her to keep it a secret. And it wasn’t something that she had to be ashamed about.

“Isabel, I could have helped you out. You didn’t have to. . . I’m sorry that I didn’t know what you were going through.” Max told her quietly, knowing that he shouldn’t judge his sister for what she had done. Isabel had done what she thought was the right thing to do, even if Max didn’t understand it all.

“Don’t worry about it, Max. Really don’t. It was a decision that I’ve had to live with ever since I did it. Let’s not talk about it anymore, because there’s just no use thinking about it. I think that if Sean and I don’t get pregnant, than I might want to adopt a baby. I mean, there are a lot of children out there that need homes. Maybe I can help out with that. Still be a mother to someone even if it’s not my own child.” Isabel said with a smile, thinking about when she was a child. She had found the Sorenson’s, they had been good to her, and she could do some good to some child.

**********

“Are you Mrs. Reynolds?”

Isabel looked over the red haired girl standing outside of her door. The girl looked younger than herself. But Isabel was certain that she had never seen the girl before. She would have remembered anyone with hair that shade of red. It sort of looked like the color of the Grand Canyon. “Yes, I am.”

“Well than you should congratulate me, Mrs. Reynolds. Your husband is going to be a father. Guess you didn’t know that he was out having an affair with me, while you were so busy doing whatever the hell you do. Tell him that he’s never ever going to see his child. He’s never going to.” The woman continued angrily.

Isabel took in a harsh breath, trying to understand what she was being told. Sean was having a child with this person? He had gotten this girl pregnant? No, he wouldn’t have done that. Sean wouldn’t do that. Why would he cheat on her? They had a good marriage. It was something that she was proud of. She was proud to call Sean her husband; he wasn’t the type to have an affair. She knew that he wouldn’t. Sean was a good person, he couldn’t possibly have cheated on her. Isabel knew that he wouldn’t. “Listen, I don’t know who you are. Or why you’re here, lying about my husband this way. I suggest you leave before I have to throw you off of my property myself.”

“I’m sure that you don’t remember me, but I know you; I remember you. I know what kind of a person that you are. Just climbing your way up the ladder. Sleeping with whoever you have to, in order to get to where you are now. I’m Ava Conrad, your husband’s assistant. I know everything about you, your inability to have a child. Why the hell do you think that Sean turned to me. He feels that he let you down, but it’s not his fault. It’s all yours. With all the time that you spend on your back, you can’t even manage to get pregnant.”Ava said with laugh, once she saw the pain on Isabel’s face.

“I suggest you stop talking about things that you don’t know anything about, Ms. Conrad. My marriage is none of your business. If you’re trying to cause trouble between my husband and I for whatever sick reasons tat you have, your not going to be satisfied. I don’t believe you one bit. Now leave my home right now!” Isabel said angrily, not wanting to believe what she was saying. But a part of her thought that it could be true. Maybe everything was coming back to her. She couldn’t have a child and now it looked as though her husband had an affair with someone else.

“Fine, I’ll go, Isabel, Ms. Reynolds. But know this, I’m going to have your husband’s child, a child that you can’t have and my baby will be far away from you and your husband. Tell him that he’ll never know his child, not as long as your around. I wouldn’t want my child anywhere around a whore like you. You disgust me.” Ava said, looking down her nose at the taller woman. She wouldn’t allow her child around this. . . this woman.

Isabel watched as Ava Conrad started walking away from her home. It was true, she knew that it was. Sean had an affair with that girl. He had even impregnated the girl, while he had never been able to get her pregnant. Isabel shook her head, as she closed the door and began searching for her purse, where her pills were. She could make herself feel better about all of this. At least until Sean came home.

She knew that it was true. Sean had done the same thing that she had done to Alex. He had cheated on her, and he’d gotten someone pregnant, just like she had cheated on Alex, and she had gotten pregnant. Swallowing several pills, Isabel knew that she would soon feel better. Before she would explode on her husband.

It was nearly six hours later when Sean finally came home and Isabel tore into him about his affair.

“Isabel, it’s not that way. She’s probably lying about the baby.” Sean protested, shocked to see his wife so angry. He’d never seen her this way before. He knew that he had made a mistake with Ava, but there wasn’t anything that he could do about that. And Ava was probably lying about the baby.

“You son of a bitch. What do you take me for an idiot? I’m not stupid. She wasn’t lying. That girl is pregnant with your child. You cheated on me and you got her pregnant! You betrayed me, you betrayed us. I want you out of here! NOW!” Isabel screeched, wanting him out of their home, the home where they were supposed to raise their children. She knew that she was being punished. She was still being punished for what had happened with Alex and Tom.

“Isabel, I love you. Please don’t throw away everything because I made a mistake. I’m sorry, but I made a mistake. I’m human. It only happened once. I swear to you.” Sean said quietly, hating himself for all the pain he was causing his wife. He never meant for this to happen. He didn’t want to see Isabel in any pain.

“NO! I can’t forgive you. There’s no way that I can. What you did was wrong. It was wrong in a thousand ways. I know that I can never ever forgive you for getting that girl pregnant. I never will forgive you. Get out!” Isabel shouted, shoving at him. God, now she understood what Alex had gone through. She understood so perfectly. It was a betrayal, it was a stab in the heart and it was so wrong.

“I love you, Isabel. I love you so much.” Sean told her, desperate for her to stop. He knew that he’d made the biggest mistake of his life, but he could make it up to her. If she only let him.

“Well, I don’t love you, Sean. There’s only one man that I’ve ever loved and you aren’t him. You were nothing but a substitution for him and not even a good one at that. Get out, Sean. Get out before you embarrass yourself. Get out!” Isabel said unflinching, knowing that her words would be enough to get him to leave. He would leave because of what she said. But it was partially true. She did love Sean, but she’d never been in love with him. The only man she’d ever been in love with had been Alex. But he was gone from her life.

Sean looked at his wife appalled by her words. But he could see that she wasn’t lying to him. She was telling the truth. She had never loved him. She didn’t love him. It was all a joke. He had given her his heart, and she hadn’t even considered in giving him hers. “Fine. I’ll leave.”

It was only after Sean had left the room did she fall down to her knees. She was being punished, Isabel knew that she was. Oh God. She needed a drink. NO! She needed another pill. She didn’t want to feel anymore pain. She didn’t want to hurt anymore.

**********

“So Isabel tried to commit suicide because of her husband’s infidelity?” Laurie asked, surprised that Isabel would have killed herself because of him. God, Isabel had gone through such a trying time. Not only had she lost her sister, who in actuality had been lost to her years ago, but her husband had cheated and impregnated someone else. Something that must have brought the memories of her own past.

“She was in a lot of pain. It was a really painful time in her life. She had so much piled on her at the time, but it was the beginning of a new start for her. Isabel got wiser and more mature about things. It changed her entire life and she meet someone that would change the rest of her life.”


TBC. . . . . .

Chapter Eleven


“Max, hey. What are you doing here? Everything okay with Liz and the kids?” Isabel asked, smiling as she let her brother into the house. She hadn’t seen him in awhile. Frankly, she had tried to keep herself pretty busy. She was so jealous of Max and Liz’s life together. They had the perfect life, they had everything that she wanted to have herself.

“Everything’s fine with me, Isabel. Why is it that you always want to know if something’s wrong. Everything is great with me. Me, Liz, the kids. I come here to see you, my older sister.” Max said with a smile as he sat down next to his sister. He wondered if the whole reason that Isabel always wanted to know if something was wrong was because she was going through bad things.

“Well, I’m up for this great part in this movie. It’s about Catherine the Great. And it’s directed by Daniel Steligman. I think that it’s going to be great. I mean, I’ve stayed out of the limelight for a while now, but this is definitely going to bring me back. At least I’m hoping so. It’s going to be my new start, Max.” Isabel said with a smile, knowing that she was right. She had seen the way that he had looked at her during her screen test. Isabel was almost positive that she would get the part. And with this part she knew that it would bring new and exciting things into her life. It would her brand new start.

**********

“Everyone scoot in a little more. Yes, like that. Ready, on the count of three. One. . . Two. . . Three.” The photographer said snapping the picture of the smiling couple. He had to admit that they looked good together. The bride a beautiful blonde glowing in her dress. And the groom, was dashing, perfect for the bride.

“You didn’t forget to smile did you, Isabel?” Max asked with a laugh watching his sister. Isabel looked like she was happy, and Max was happy for her. It had seemed like it had been so long since she’d been truly happy, but who had known that a year ago when Isabel had went to work on ‘Catherine’ that she would fall in love and be marrying the director. It had been a perfect wedding, but the only thing that was missing was Maria. She refused to have anything to do with Isabel. It was something that Max didn’t understand, Isabel was their sister and Maria was fine with throwing Isabel away, never having anything to do with her life.

“You okay, honey?” Liz asked, cocking her head at Max with a smile. She could tell that he was happy with Isabel’s decision to get married. So was Liz. She had known Daniel Steligman since she was a teenager. He was a good guy and it seemed that he made Isabel quite happy.

“Yeah, just watching Isabel. She looks happy doesn’t she? I think that she’s going to be okay. I mean, I worry about her a lot, but you know, I think that she’ll be alright now.” Max said with a smile, as he and Liz walked to where Isabel and Daniel stood, now talking to their son, Matthew.

“Can I take pictures with you, Aunt Izzy?” Matthew asked, pouting slightly.

“Of course you can, baby.” Isabel said, picking Matthew up in her arms, not caring if she got her wedding dress dirty. He was such a wonderful kid, a perfect combination of Max and Liz; with Max’s dark hair and Liz’s eyes and skin tone. Isabel knew that all of Max and Liz’s kids would be beautiful. They had it in their genes. Though she was really jealous of them. They had their children, while she didn’t have anything. She wanted to have a baby that she could love and take care of. Be someone’s mother. But she knew that her time would come. She would one day have the baby that she craved.

Of course, she had told Daniel about her heartache, about her wanting to have a child; he had understood her need. Isabel knew that he had two children of his own, and she knew that she couldn’t be around them, the proof that her husband could have children with someone else. It just hurt too much. It reminded her of Alex. Alex having a child with Tess. Sean having a child with that trashy red head. Even knowing about her fertility problems, she knew — felt— it in her heart that she would have a child. She would.

*****

She was so worthless. Isabel knew that she was. There was no other way around it. She couldn’t do a simple thing like having a baby. She couldn’t give her husband a baby, and now she couldn’t even stay faithful to him. Her life was going down the drain and she didn’t know what she was going to do.

She loved being married to Daniel, with him she felt free. That she had found an equal, someone who loved her and wasn’t holding her back. But she wanted a baby more than anything else in the world, and she had gotten pregnant. Finding out that she was going to have a baby had been the happiest day in the world. She finally would have the chance to give life to a child, to be a mother to a child.

And she had so many dreams for her unborn child and herself. She would be a wonderful mother and never hurt her child the way that her mother had hurt her. She would always be there for her child, not like her mother who had abandoned her and the others. And she wasn’t going to let her child be paraded around like the other children of Hollywood, only used to make the parents look good. Her child would never be in the limelight, her child was going to have everything.

But it hadn’t turned out that way. It hadn’t. She had lost her baby in the second month. Oh, the doctor said that there wasn’t anything that she could have done to change what happened, but Isabel knew better. Her life hadn’t been the same ever since she had the abortion. Sacrificing her child for her career, that was what she had done. It was something that other actresses had done before, Betty Grable and Lana Turner both aborted their children, who were coincidently, fathered by the same man. Why was she any different?

She’d furthered her career by sleeping with men, of course that had only been in the beginning. But she had still slept with men in order to get somewhere. It was something that she hated to think about what she had done to get to this place in her life. Her career was based on who she’d slept with and some people in Hollywood knew that. They talked about her when they thought that she couldn’t hear them. But she heard it all. She had even killed her child to further her career. Her life simply wasn’t the way that she had thought it would be. Sure, she had fame and fortune but she still felt an emptiness inside of herself.

When she thought about the emptiness inside of herself, it always came back to one thing. Alex Whitman. She knew that he was doing good. He was still married to Tess, and they only had their one son. No other children but that son that should have been hers. Isabel didn’t see them very often but when she did, she could tell that they were happy with one another. They looked as though they were happy with one another. Alex had gained everything that he always wanted to do, he made a name for himself in the business without everyone automatically thinking that he was a substitute for his father. No one could ever confuse Alex Whitman with his father.

Tom had died only a year ago. It had been quite unexpected for the entire town. He had been on a place headed home and the plane had crashed moments after take off. Liz had a rough time after her father died, but Isabel didn’t know how Tom’s death had affected Alex. Isabel wished that she could have been there for him, after going through such a rough time, losing his father. But Isabel told herself that Alex had Tess to take care of him. Tess and their son.

It was only after her miscarriage that Isabel started her affair. Chris Stevens, was his name and he was a composer. He had written hundreds of scores for so many movies, some of her favorite movies. They had meet at a party, a party that Daniel hadn’t been able to attend because he had been scouting a movie location. His next movie, which he didn’t want her to have anything to do with. Chris was a funny guy and she had to admit that she had a nice time with him.

But Isabel wasn’t fooling herself, she knew that she didn’t love him. Hell, she didn’t even think that she loved her own husband. It took for her to have the miscarriage to wake up to some truths about herself and her marriage. Isabel knew that the only man that she had ever loved was Alex, but he was married and completely off limits to her. While she was alright with having affairs while she was married, Alex was married and it seemed that he was perfectly happy with the way his life was going.
Isabel knew that she had to stop doing this, she had to stop imagining what her life could have been like if she and Alex had been together. They weren’t and it was simple as that. She had to stop doing these what if’s, because they would never come true. Her life was with her husband, not with Chris Stevens, he was only someone she played with.

“So your having an affair, Isabel?” Daniel asked his wife bluntly. He couldn’t believe this shit, his beautiful talented wife was cheating on him. And after everything that he had done for her she was doing this to him. She was cheating on him with some composer for movies, someone that he had actually worked with on a number of occasions. She was fucking cheating on him.

“Yes, I am, Daniel. I am cheating on you. What do you care about it?” Isabel challenged, wanting to know what he was really feeling. Even though with him, she felt that he was her equal, she hadn’t the slightest clue as to how her husband felt about her or the things that she did. Ever since she had the miscarriage, Daniel had sort of shut down on her. She didn’t know what he was feeling, what he was thinking, and Isabel knew that he had been having an affair when Daniel went on a location search.

“What do I care about it? You’re my wife, and I care. I care if I’m being talked about because my wife is off having an affair with someone else. What the hell do you think people are saying about me? I can’t satisfy my own wife that she has to go off and have an affair with someone?” Daniel shouted, angry at his wife’s casualness about the whole thing. Didn’t she care what everyone was going to say? Didn’t she care about him and what he thought about the whole thing?

“That’s what your worried about. That people are going to talk that you can’t satisfy your wife. But you can satisfy the little bimbo that you have been messing around with, haven’t you, Daniel? I swear that if you impregnated that bimbo, I will cut off your balls. I’m not going to have another husband cheat on me and impregnate someone else. Never again!” Isabel declared, not wanting to have a repeat of Sean. She had cared for Sean, but he had hurt her so badly and Isabel didn’t want for that to happen again. People would talk about her, that she couldn’t have a baby and something must be wrong with her.

“Look, I love you Isabel. I really do, why else would I have married you? I love you and want to stay married to you. I guess things haven’t been good for us ever since you lost the baby, we both sort of turned away from one another and that’s where the trouble began. I don’t care about that little bitch that I’ve been screwing, she’s nothing to me. End this thing with Chris Stevens and I’ll end it with her. And it’ll just be the two of us again. Hell, we could even adopt a baby if you wanted. Let’s just stop this all.” Daniel told her, wanting to end all of this. He just wanted to stay married to his wife, he just wanted it to be the two of them.

“Alright, fine. I’ll end it with Chris. I will.” Isabel told him, knowing that it would be easy to end it with Chris. It wasn’t like she felt much for him, he was nothing but a distraction to her. Something that had made her feel better because she was with him. She would try not to turn to someone else, she would try to work on her marriage with Daniel. She had to.

**********

Being faithful wasn’t as easy as Isabel had thought it would be. She had tried to for the past three years and for the most part it had been somewhat easy. The two of them hadn’t tried to have another baby, because Isabel hadn’t wanted to. She knew that it would end badly, she knew that she was destined never to have a baby, so she wasn’t even going to try. And adopting? Part of her wanted to adopt a child, but another part of her couldn’t do that. She wanted to have her own baby, she wanted to be able to bring a child into this world, a child of her blood. A child of her heart. That’s what she wanted.

Isabel hadn’t done much over the past three years, she’d starred in only two movies, preferring to spend her time at home or with Max and Liz, who had expanded their family once again. They now had a family with five boys, Phillip, Matthew, Jason, Nathan, and Adam. It was a nice large family, exactly what Isabel kind of hoped that she would have but she knew it wouldn’t. She was happy with her family, the boys were enough to satisfy her. They were wonderful children, her nephews.

Her life had been relatively calm for the past three years, that was until she meet someone else. His name was Peter Hanson and she hadn’t the slightest clue as to what she was going to do about him. He was challenging her in ways that she hadn’t been before, and she liked it. She liked her relationship with Peter, and she knew that she could possibly be in love with him. Possibly.


TBC. . . . . . . .

Only two more chapters left in the story, than there's the epilogue. I don't know when I'll get around to posting, my birthday is tomorrow, so definitely not tomorrow. I hope everyone enjoys the chapters.

-Amber

NOTE: Sorry about the wait everyone.


Chapter Twelve

To leave her marriage or not, that was the question. After being married to Daniel for four years, Isabel was getting tired. While she had tried to remain faithful to Daniel, he hadn’t even lasted a year of being faithful to her, and so began their little games. They had other people on the side, but they never let their emotions of their affairs get in the way. At least until now.

Peter Hanson. He changed everything about it. He was such a sweet guy, Isabel didn’t know anyone that was quite like him. He was so much fun to be with. On their first date, they had gone to the carnival. At first, she had hated that they had gone there, but by the end of the night she had to admit that she’d had a ball. It had been the most fun that she’d had in a long time. And it had only gotten better as the days went by.

She and Peter had been seeing each other for three months, and last night Peter had proposed to her. It was insane. Peter wanted to marry her, Peter wanted for her to leave her husband, he wanted for the two of them to have a life together. To make a life with each other, to have children. He wanted everything. The scary part about the whole thing was that Isabel was seriously considering it.

Considering leaving her husband. The man that she had been married to for four years. The man that she had thought she would spend her life with. Sure, they weren’t exactly happily married or anything, but she had never really considered leaving her husband for anyone. At least until now. She could actually see herself leaving Daniel and starting a life with Peter. She could even see the two of them having children, adopting if they had to. She would want to raise a family with Peter, he was sweet and wonderful. And hell, she wasn’t getting younger.

She was thirty three years old, and she wanted a family. She couldn’t stand it if she died alone, with no one to mourn her. She wanted to have a family, she wanted to have children, if they were hers or not. She wanted to wake up at three in the morning, she wanted to take her daughter to ballet dances, she wanted to watch her son at little league and with Daniel that wasn’t something that she could imagine. She saw herself with Peter doing all of those things.

Hell, she was even thinking about leaving Hollywood period. Getting a home in Newport Beach or even Monterey and raising a family with Peter. This town was so superficial and she was getting sick and tired of it. She was sick and tired of her marriage, it wasn’t working for either her or Daniel. She had always known that if someone cheated that it meant that the person wasn’t happy, but since it had been happening to her, she had been ignoring it. Ignoring what it meant that she was cheating on her husband. They were both unhappy and it was time that it ended.

She was going to end her marriage and embark on a new life with Peter and Isabel knew that it was the right thing for her to do. She wanted to be with Peter; he made her forget about all of her insecurities, he made her feel loved the way Alex had once made her feel. Her life was good when she was with her. Her marriage was over, she decided, looking up as she heard the front door opening. Her husband was home and it was time to tell him the truth. Time to tell him it was over.

“This is over, Daniel. I want a divorce.” Isabel stated as her husband stepped into the room, fresh from the set of his latest movie. Looking at him, she wasn’t even attracted to him anymore; she felt nothing for the man that had been her husband for four years. The man she had been convinced was her soul mate, was her equal. There was just nothing, nothing at all.

“What the hell is wrong with you, Isabel? What are you talking about?” Daniel asked warily, not knowing exactly what his wife was talking about. Sometimes she didn’t make much sense to him. But frankly, he was passed caring about what Isabel wanted or needed. She was too fucked up for him; she wouldn’t sleep with him and she wouldn’t have a baby with him. He wanted a baby and she wouldn’t give him one.

“You know that there’s someone else and well, I want to be with him. I want to have a life with him. I’m sick and tired of this charade that we’ve been calling a marriage. It needs to end because there’s just no point in continuing the way that we have. I don’t want to anymore. I’m sick of this.” Isabel said, disgusted with the way that her marriage was going. She didn’t want to be in it anymore, she wanted to be free of it. Free of Daniel and everything that had to do with him.

“You know what, Isabel, I think that you’re right. I don’t know who the hell you are anymore. You don’t sleep with me, you don’t want to have a baby with me. You’re fucked up, Isabel. You just disgust me and I think that you’re right, we don’t need to be in this charade of a marriage. I’m going to call Bill on Monday to get started on the divorce proceedings, the sooner it’s over, the better.” Daniel told her, realizing that she was right, realizing that he wanted to end this troubled marriage as much as she did. The sooner he did, the better; the sooner he did the sooner he could have a child with someone else. He had always known that he could never reach the inner sanctum of Isabel, and at first that had never bothered him, but over the years it had.

**********

“Isabel didn’t marry Peter Hanson because he died in a plane crash only three days later. Isabel was devastated by his death, she really loved him. She became more reclusive over the next year, preferring to be away from people because it hurt so much. The divorce from Daniel was far from pretty, and than he got remarried so soon after. It was only about a year after Peter’s death that Isabel finally felt that she could tell me about what had happened between her and Tom Whitman. She told me the entire truth about what had happened, about the affair, about the abortion. Her regrets over the abortion feeling that it had been Alex’s baby, so I decided to do something for my sister. I had wanted for it to give her peace of mind, but it actually changed Isabel for the better.” Max told Laurie with a smile as he told her what had happened.

“What did you go, Max?” Laurie asked, enchanted with the story of Isabel Taylor’s life. She loved everything that she was hearing, it only made Isabel all the more interesting to her to find out what she had. Isabel had been through a lot of pain in her life and Laurie hoped that Isabel had found some happiness at the very end of it all.

**********

“Alex, what are you doing here?” Isabel asked, shocked that he was standing in front of her. She hadn’t seen him in years, she hadn’t seen him since before her marriage to Daniel. Why was he here? She knew that he was still married to Tess, though their son had been killed in a car accident a year ago. It had been around the same time that Peter had died that Alex’s son had died as well. Why on Earth was he here?

“I thought that it was high time that I saw you. It’s been years since we talked to one another; it’s been years since we’ve seen each other. I thought that it was time that I told you about what happened all those years ago. There are things that you don’t know, things that I never told you all those years ago. Can I come in, Isabel?” Alex asked, hoping that she would let him into the house. He had missed her so much throughout the years, but he had told himself that he had to make his marriage work, no matter how unhappy he was with Tess. That he had to make it work for Chris’s sake, but his son was dead.

“Sure, of course.” Isabel said, not knowing what else she was supposed to say. What was there for her to know about what had happened all those years ago? Did she need to know the details of why Alex had gotten married to Tess? Was that even the reason? Maybe it was something that she hadn’t the slightest clue about, well, hell it obviously was something that she didn’t know about. Isabel led Alex into the living room of her house, biting down on her lip. Alex was here, he was standing right in front of her. She had loved him so much and she had lost him.

“You’re looking really good, Isabel. I’ve missed you for such a long time. I. . . . made mistakes in my life, and marrying Tess was one of them. I never loved her the way that I loved you. You were everything to me and when I caught you with my father, I felt like my heart had been ripped out and stomped on. I couldn’t believe that you had done that, but you know it wasn’t the first time that something like that happened. My father was notorious for sleeping with younger women, some that just happened to be my girlfriends.” Alex told her, unable to help himself. All he wanted was to tell Isabel the truth about what had happened all those years ago. He missed her so much over the years and he wanted to make up for all the lost time, all of the missed moments because of the things that they had done.

“I hated myself for such a long time, Alex. For not being strong enough to tell your father no. I wasn’t strong enough when I was younger. I hated what I did, it’s something that I’m not proud of, Alex. I was in love with you and I hurt you, and you didn’t deserve that. You didn’t deserve that at all.” Isabel replied, wanting to take away all of the hurt that she had caused Alex. Hurting him had only hurt her, as well. She could feel the pain that she had caused him and she hated it all. Hated what she’d done.

“You shouldn’t have hated yourself, I never hated you. I’ve always loved you, Isabel. You’re an amazing woman, you’ve done wonderful magnificent things with your life and your work. I’ve been proud to watch you over the years. Tess and I only got married because she was pregnant. After I caught you with my father, I was drinking heavily when Tess came over and the rest you can say is history. We got married and than Christopher was born. We’ve only stayed together because of Chris, but now that he’s gone, I don’t think, I know that I can’t stay with her. She’s not who I love, she’s never been who I love. I want to be with you again. I want for us to start fresh, to start anew. If you don’t feel the same way about me, than I would understand, I mean it’s been years since we’ve even been in the same room.” Alex informed her, hoping that she still loved him the way that he loved her. She was all that he had ever thought about during his marriage to Tess.

For several moments, Isabel didn’t say anything. She couldn’t believe what she had heard, Alex wanted for them to be together. After such a long time that they had been apart, he actually wanted to be with her. She had never thought that this could happen, never imagined that Alex would simply walk into her house and declare that he wanted to be with her. It was something out of her dreams, and she’d certainly dreamt of things just like this. He wanted her, he really wanted for the two of them to be together. But what about Tess? From everything Isabel knew they were still married, they were still intertwined with one another. Where exactly would she fit in Alex’s life? As his mistress? What would she be to him?

“Alright, I should go.” Alex said quietly, thinking that she didn’t want him. His love for her was something that he would have to live with, since she didn’t feel the same way as he did. God, he’d been an idiot to believe that she would want anything to do with him after what he’d told her. Telling her that he and Tess had only married because of their child and expecting Isabel to jump at the opportunity of being with him once again. Years had passed, hundreds of things had changed for them, and they couldn’t very well just go back to the way things had once been.

“Alex, don’t leave. I’m just so surprised and shocked, I would never have imagined that you would be on my doorstep wanting to talk to me, and you’ve done nothing but shocked me since you walked through my door. I’ve dreamt about this before, the two of us getting back together but I thought that it would never happen and now we have the chance. But we simply can’t go back to the way that things were once before, there’s no way that we can. We can only move forward with everything. We’ll figure out things as we go along. As long as we’re together everything will be okay.” Isabel said with a smile as she stood directly in front of Alex. She and Alex would forge a future of their own without the sins of the past. They were going to be together and that’s all that mattered. Their future together.


TBC. . . . . . . . . .

Only one more chapter than the epilogue.

Dedicated to: cameramandc, Krazykitti, Rim, roswellluver, Sternbetrachter (2X).

Chapter Thirteen


“Why is it so hard for us to be together, Alex? I love you and I want to be with you. Can’t you do anything to make this divorce go faster?” Isabel asked desperately. She hated that it was so hard for her and Alex to be together. They had been together for a year; of course they hadn’t lived together during that time. Alex hadn’t wanted for Tess to be hurt by the fact that he and Isabel were back together, at least that was what he said. It hurt so much to think about the whole thing.

“I’m trying, Isabel. You don’t know how hard that I’m trying to get this all done, but Tess is just putting up such a fight. She refuses to let anything happen with the divorce, anything that my lawyer says or tries to do, her attorney challenges it. What else am I supposed to do?” Alex asked, frustrated. There wasn’t much that he could do about the divorce, his attorney was handling the whole process, and Tess was fighting it every inch of the way. It wasn’t easy for him to live with either, but he was trying.

“I’m getting so sick and tired because of all of this, Alex. I want to be with you, I need to be with you and I’m feeling that you don’t really want to be with me, why else would this be taking so much time? I want you, Alex, not all of this other baggage.” Isabel said quietly, forcing herself not to cry. She hated that they couldn’t be officially together, that they couldn’t get married and try to have a family. Not with Tess standing in the way.

“I’m sick and tired of it, too Isabel. But there’s nothing that we can do but wait it out. In the end everything will be okay, you and I will be together and nothing will be standing in our way. We’ll be together only if we can handle all of the obstacles that have been put in front of us.” Alex told her, wondering why she was questioning him about how he felt. She knew that he loved her, he loved her like he loved no one else. His marriage to Tess had been the biggest mistake that he had ever made and he was still paying for the whole thing. Isabel was still blaming him for that.

“Why? Why should I have to keep on waiting?” Isabel asked quietly. She and Alex had been apart for so long and now that they were together they couldn’t outright state that they were together. It wasn’t fair, after everything that happened they still weren’t officially together.

“You don’t want to?” Alex asked softly, feeling his heart constrict at her words. She was the only woman that he had ever loved and she was getting tired of waiting for him. Yes, they were together, but they didn’t have anything to show for it. They didn’t have a house together, they weren’t engaged or married and they didn’t have any children, either adopted or their own. They couldn’t do any of those things because of the divorce.

“God, I want to, Alex. I love you so much. I want to be with you so badly. I want for us to get married and to have children together, though we would probably have to adopt since I always lose my babies. I want to be with you, I need to be with you. But this all hurts so much, that you’re married to Tess and she won’t let you go in peace. It hurts.” Isabel told him, wanting for him to understand where she was coming from.

“I’m sorry that it hurts so much, Isabel. But my divorce from Tess isn’t anything at all like yours have been. Tess doesn’t want for us to get divorced, she wants for us to stay together. She — I’m the only guy that she’s ever really loved and she doesn’t want to lose me, or the power that she has by being my wife. It’s hard to explain everything that’s going on inside of Tess’ head, but she’s not like your ex-husbands. She won’t let this go easily. Not one bit.”

“What’s that supposed to mean? Tess isn’t like my ex-husbands, not willing and anxious to get away right? Yes, they were willing and anxious to get away from me because I fucked them up, fucked them over. Tess doesn’t want to get away from you, because she loves you, am I right?” Isabel asked bitterly at the mention of how Alex was the only one that Tess loved. She knew that Tess probably had taken advantage of the fact that Alex had been drunk, made him sleep with her and than gotten pregnant on purpose. Isabel admitted that if she could go back that she would probably have done something like that also.

“Isabel, that’s not what I meant. Don’t put words in my mouth, it’s not what I meant.” Alex said quietly, not liking that she was misinterpreting what he was saying. Maybe it was better if he just didn’t mention Tess at all, she was a bitter subject where Isabel was concerned. Not that he blamed Isabel; he knew what it was like to watch from the sidelines, to see the woman that he loved with someone else. It hurt like hell.

“Than what did you mean? What did you mean?” Isabel asked, feeling so tired by arguing with Alex. She didn’t want to argue with him, she didn’t even want to think about this whole thing, it hurt like hell.

“Baby, I don’t want for us to get into a huge argument about this, because it’s not important.” Alex told her, hating that they were starting an argument. He didn’t like to argue with Isabel about anything, it always made him feel horrible afterwards. He was trying to do his best, but sometimes it seemed that Isabel didn’t care about what he did.

Isabel took in a deep breath and decided that she didn’t want to argue anymore with Alex. She didn’t feel like it anymore, she just wanted to stop arguing, she just wanted to rest. To sit down and to not have to think about anything, she wanted to have a cigarette and take a couple of pills to calm herself down, maybe she should just take some pills to sleep. When she slept she didn’t have to worry about anything or to think about anything, all she did was rest and that’s what she felt like right now. Just resting her head, closing her eyes.

“Alex, you know what? I think that maybe you should just go home right now. I’m feeling very tired and I need to rest. Please, can you go?” Isabel asked, not caring how he would take what she was saying to him. She needed time to herself without Alex near her; she needed to think about what was right for her. She wasn’t in her right mind at the moment. She was in love with a married man who was taking his damn sweet time in divorcing his barracuda of a wife.

This was the only thing that was hard in her life at the moment; everything else was going wonderfully. She was set to start filming for a movie in a matter of days, she had her family, who were her constant backup, who kept her grounded in everything that she did. But Alex’s divorce from Tess was the hardest thing, it was eating so much time and it was devastating her every second that nothing happened.

But she couldn’t very well leave him or anything like that. She loved Alex so much. He was everything to her and without her she had been miserable. Her life was empty without Alex, but sometimes things just got so tough for her and she didn’t know how to cope with them. But she attempted to cope with her problems by numbing herself, that was the only way that she could get a handle on her feelings.

“Alright, are you okay, though?” Alex asked, fearing that she might do something reckless. Sometimes Isabel got a dangerous look in her eyes and he was afraid that she might do something to hurt herself, though he didn’t have any sort of proof that she had done something. He just was so afraid that he might lose her, and he couldn’t stand that thought. If he lost her than he might as well die also. She meant the world to him.

“Of course, I’m fine. Don’t worry about me. I’m just going to take a nap or something.” Isabel said, with a smile. A nap with the help of some pills, she thought ironically. She would be alright in the morning, she knew that she would. “I’m fine, I’m not mad about anything, Alex. I just hate that we fight sometimes, as long as you’re with me, I’m alright. Being with you makes me complete.”

“The same goes for me, Isabel. I love you so much that it hurts.” Alex said, kissing her with everything that he had. He had this funny sort of feeling inside of him, but he didn’t know what it was. It was sort of like the feeling that he had gotten the last time that he had seen his son alive. But he knew that what happened with Christopher didn’t have anything to do with right now. Isabel wasn’t going anywhere, she wasn’t going to get into her car and drive away, she wouldn’t die in a car accident like his son had. Nothing bad would happen.

“I love you, Alex.” Isabel replied, loving him more with each passing second. That’s what it was like for her, everything about him made her love him, no matter what he might do, her love for him never died, it only grew.

Isabel waited until Alex had left her house before she went to her medicine cabinet and grabbed a couple of sleeping pills. She had been taking them forever, probably not the smartest thing to do, but she needed them in order to get rest. As Isabel laid down on her bed, with a cigarette in hand she contemplated her life. What she would do? How she would deal with everything going on in her life? Sometimes she just hated who she was, that she was Isabel Taylor, who the press loved to report on. Sometimes she just wanted to be an ordinary woman with nothing to worry about. But she would never be that. She would forever be known as Isabel Taylor and nothing that she did could change that fact. It was who she was.

<center>*****</center>

The news hit the airwaves at approximately 7:32 p.m. Isabel Taylor had been killed in a house fire. She had been the only casualty at the fire, which had started with a fallen cigarette on the carpet. Alex Whitman had been getting out of the shower when he had heard the news, and he fell to his knees and wept for the woman that he loved, the woman who was now dead, the woman who he had been planning to spend the rest of his life with. But now he knew that he was destined to be alone.

<center>*****</center>

The funeral of Isabel Taylor was a beautiful one, Max Evans went all out for his older sister, who he had missed the chance of growing up with. And though it was well known that Maria DeLuca had not gotten along with her sister, she had sung at her sister’s funeral, the emotional lose of her sister flowing with every one of her words.

Maria regretted that she hadn’t made up with her sister before her sad death. She wished that her sister had died so alone and probably scared and that Isabel had never meet her daughter, Michelle. But Maria knew that she would have to live with the knowledge forever of what she had done to her sister, however right she had been convinced of it at the time, she missed not having a sister, for never really letting her sister into her life and her heart.

Max kept a straight face through the entire ceremony, but it was only when he got home that he allowed for himself to cry. He cried for the lose of his sister and one of his best friends, he cried for the fact that Isabel would never be able to have a child like she had always longed her. But he had to hope that Isabel was some place better, that was the only thing that he wanted.

But he couldn’t wrap his mind around the fact that Isabel was supposed to be in that coffin. That his sister’s body was supposed to be in that coffin, which was now buried six feet under the ground, it didn’t make any sense to him at all. To him, it would never be Isabel that was buried. Never in his mind.

Dedicated to: Sternbetrachter (2X) , cameramandc, Reven Eid, Krazykitti, Parker Evans.


Epilogue


“My sister has been dead for five years, Laurie. Five long years, I miss her so much but I knew that I could have her story told, let people know who she really was. She was so insecure under all of it. She was a good person and she only got a bad rap for things that she did.” Max said softly. Isabel’s death had nearly shattered him and his family. Liz had wished that she and Isabel had been so much closer than they had been, and his children all missed their beloved aunt.

“Her life was an extraordinary one. Thank you for sharing her story with me, I’ll make sure that everyone knows about the real Isabel Taylor. Her story will be told.” Laurie nodded her head as Max stood up and Laurie followed suit. She shook the man’s hand and felt sorry for him, it was obvious that talking about his sister’s life made him sad.

“Thank you, Laurie.” Max said, as he grabbed his coat from the back of the chair that he’d been sitting in for nearly five hours straight, telling Laurie about Isabel’s story. His sister was going to be remembered forever with Laurie’s help. “Well, I’ve got to get going, there’s a plane that I have to catch.”

“Oh, where are you going to?” Laurie asked curiously. She knew that he was probably going off somewhere with the wife and kids, since school had let out for the summer time, he would want to spend time with his family, since everything she’d heard about him was that he was completely in love with his entire family. Family meant everything to Max Evans.

“I’m going to meet the wife and kids for a small vacation. We thought that it would be nice for us to get away and have fun. Thank you again, Laurie.” Max said as he left the room with a smile on his face. This was the best way that he knew for Isabel to be remembered, the truth about herself and her life was out there in the public now. And he knew that wherever his sister was that she was smiling and she was happy.

Hours later, Max arrived at the house on St. Kitts and Nevis. It was something that he had bought shortly after his sister’s death, it was somewhere for him and his family to get away, to not have to worry about the press following them around. They had security guards that patrolled the place, made sure that no one got anywhere near his wife and kids.

“Liz, I’m home!” Max called out as he entered the home, wondering where everyone was. It was very quiet, which meant that Liz and the kids were probably out by the pool. He and Liz had made sure that each and everyone of their kids knew how to swim before they were three years old. They were like water babies, and he knew that Liz was probably teaching Noelani, Maria’s youngest daughter how to swim. The whole family was together for this vacation, Liz and all their kids, Maria, Michael and their three daughters. It was a mini family reunion.

“Hey, everyone. I couldn’t find anyone so I knew that everyone had to be by the pool and I was right.” Max said with a smile as he made his way out to the pool where his entire family was at. They were all there, enjoying themselves in the sun, having fun with the kids, swimming, Michael was even behind the barbecue.

“We missed you, Daddy.” Five year old Isabella said giving her father her most beautiful smile. She had her entire family wrapped around her finger.

“I missed you too, sunshine.” Max said, watching as his daughter jumped into the pool showing off her new move. After clapping at his daughter’s brilliance, Max sat at the lounge chair next to his sister.

“How’d it go?”

“It went beautifully. The story will hit the airwaves in a matter of days.” Max said with a smile, as he leaned over and touched the baby, his sister held in her arms. The baby was getting bigger by the day, and soon Andrew would be climbing over the walls. “Andrew’s getting bigger, what are you feeding him?”

“Just breast milk, it’s not my fault if he’s got his father’s metabolism. Andrew’s going to be tall just like his father.” Isabel said with a grin as she looked at Alex. This was her life and she loved every moment of it, living in St. Kitts and Nevis away from the limelight, everyone thought that she was deal, a fact that she helped conceal. She was happy being dead and she was happy here with her son and Alex. She loved the life that they had, though she missed her family so much, but they came and visited her and Alex every chance that they had.

Her life was truly complete right now. She didn’t need the fame and fortune that she had spent all those years trying to accomplish. All the pain that she had endured in her quest to become something, she hadn’t needed that. All she needed was her family, and that’s what she had, Isabel thought as she looked down at her son. She was happy.


THE END.