Neither Isabel nor Michael knew how to answer the boy’s question. Because to the adults it might be sixteen years later, but it was plain as day to see and there was no grand mystery to the question. Max was still mooning over the Liz Parker. The Liz Parker he had met when he first showed up at school in third grade as he adjusted to being on a new land, and in a new body. And the girl he could safely pine from afar until he got a chance to go for his dreams when they were on the cusp of sixteen, when a shooting would rock their worlds, and changed everything, for everyone.
Not only for Max would it change.
It would bring Maria into Michael’s life and ultimately would bring Kyle into their life, fully, although initially he was just boyfriend of Liz, and it would be a relationship that would die early on. And it would be years before Isabel gave him the time of the day. But in the meantime, what started on that day in September 1999 would lose them Alex, all because of a betrayal that had cut deep when they realized it far too late. Alex had just wanted to help, and it got him sent to the morgue instead. But it was too late for Max and Liz because Max by that time had slept with Tess and had gotten her pregnant. Even though Liz had some culpability in that pairing. Still, it had caused a lot of heartache and angst even though Tess would disappear with the baby after conning them one more time, until she came back upsetting their worlds and Max and Liz newly reunited relationship which had gone through some rough patches in her absence. She would eventually go out in a fireball of glorious betrayal. Leaving the baby in their midst. And while Max had wanted his son for the whole time he was gone. Still, reality of being a father would hit him once he could stare into the eyes of his son. Although fear of what Liz might do if he were to keep the baby. And because he loved her too much to take a chance at a life without her. So, he would choose adoption and then came Tess’s final betrayal…
If you could call it a betrayal. Michael did not know, but it proved she did not know the truth.
Lying to them about the status of her son. For making them believe he was human. Max was almost ready to give him up, to a new life. With a family that could raise him, away from the mayhem that was their daily routine. And sometimes he still wondered if he should have made that choice but, in those days, following his decision to go the adoption route. Sleepless nights because of nightmares, and the feeling that if he did choose to sign the papers and make it official and legal. That he would be making a mistake.
So, he rescinded the adoption and chose to keep his son.
And with that act, he watched as Liz walked away.
Not that any of them could blame her and when Max was honest with himself. He could not blame her either, of course she was a saint in his books.
She could do nothing wrong Still, she had been unable to handle being a mother to a boy who was not hers, and only reminded her of who she had lost. And choices s
he had made because Liz was to blame too, and it was not all on her brother Isabel thought now. But you tended to blame the one who went there, and could have stepped away, and not seen the traitor in their midst while Liz had always a wary relationship with Tess.
Never trusting her.
They had, and it had cost them big time.
It cost us Alex she thought. Isabel had a lot of feelings, conflicted mostly over Alex. Someone good, and someone solid. But someone who she had not been right for. But it did not mean Isabel wanted to see him die. And to be taken out of this world by one of them. She thought back to Liz’s accusations back in the day. It was the truth, she had to admit. But she hated to have to admit it.
And now Isabel did not want to admit to her nephew that
yes, he was the reason Max lost Liz. Why fate was so cruel to them, and especially to both Max and Liz. So, she stayed silent, and so did Michael as he was thinking similarly.
River took that as an admission, and he walked away. Much to the grief of Isabel, “I hate this?” she muttered to her friend.
“But it’s a reality,” Michael muttered. “If not…” he asked even though he did not want to say the words out loud.
“I know,” Isabel sighed. “But it does not get us anywhere, today, and now. The past is in the past, and we cannot go back and redo it.”
“Tell me about it,” Michael sighed.
Because there were certain things I would love to take back “I think I will try to get your brother back to reality,” Michael muttered as he walked over to where Max was standing.
“Good luck,” Isabel sighed as she watched as Maria and Liz were talking…
*
Maria and Liz were not just talking. Liz was pacing the area she was in. She had been told her son would be moved to a room, and yet she had not been told where it was, or when she could see him. And then she had no idea of what was happening with her husband. And she had a daughter that was one step from a meltdown. Although if she was able to diagnose it than she knew she was close to one herself. As Brady had always been someone who was her shoulder for sixteen years since she left the life she could have had.
For the unknown.
Brady Anthony had been the one who made her want to succeed, and to be happy again and now he was on an operating table, and she did not know if she would get the same man back, or if she would get him at all.
And it was not easy either knowing her past was across the room, staring at her with intense searing eyes, like if only she had chosen differently. She could have a whole different life today than she did now.
I would not have Brady, and I would not have Mariah and Alex she thought.
Lex, she corrected herself.
She needed to know what she had know.
There is no going back and living in the past because
the past is over, and now is the only life we can live she thought. “I need to know something. Why are they not telling me anything?” she muttered out loud and into the room.
“You are a doctor; you know this is routine” Maria said as she was consoling her friend.
“I am a researcher,” Liz muttered.
The doctor before my name is only a formality.
“You have that doctor title in front of your name,” Maria laughed as if she could read her mind, which is something she could not. No one close. Not even those who had unbelievably unique talent, although she supposed Isabel would come as close as anyone. “You are just as talented as the front-line workers….”
‘I know, I know” Liz sighed. “I am not used to this. I need to know something. I cannot sit this room, not knowing what is happening with my husband and son.”
“You know
Lex is doing okay,” Maria asked. “And about Brady, I take no news as good news….” she asked as they both thought of Brady, and what fate was waiting him and for his wife and children. And Maria hated it, because she had wanted her friend’s life to be happy, and she had known how much these past years had meant to Liz because she had gone to Northwestern giving up on a love of lifetime, only to find something special. And something that gave her sanity, and something normal. When so much of the previous years had given her the opposite.
‘I am a doctor, and I know that it a fool’s notion,” Liz thought. “No news means it bad news,” she muttered because it meant things were more complicated as it was a simple repair job, and time was ticking away, if they were not coming and telling her the truth of his condition. Which meant she knew how dire things were for her husband.
After all he was not alien. And he did not have the capacity to self heal.
Brady is all too human and that is what she loved about him. His normalcy, and his human status because after three angst filled years. It gave her something she did not have, something to settle down with, and not to worry and now she was worrying, and resenting the fact he was not an alien, and could just heal himself after a period of recovery.
“There you go, thinking of yourself as a doctor again” Maria smiled, and she got a smile out of her friend as her friend’s eyes went across the room again squarely directed at Max once again. Which was something that Maria had been noticing had been happening for much of her friend’s stay here in the Emergency room. “You know, you can go over and approach him, and see how he is?”
“No,” Liz murmured simply as she resisted the temptation because she had worked too hard these years for it all to go by the wayside just because thy happened to be in the same room together. Which was going to be tendency to happen in the future if she was going to be living in this town once again. “What is he doing here anyways?”
“He was here to support his sister over the kids being hit in the accident” Maria murmured.
“Right,” Liz said as she was forced to remember the accident. And how her daughter had been a on-looker to the devastation, “And it was his son who helped my husband and Lex, right?” she asked as she saw River across the room talking to Maria’s son Mac. “River?”
“Yes,” Maria confirmed as he was surprised that her friend knew Max’s son new name. Because he was still under the name Zan when Liz left town “You must be asking?” she murmured
anyone would ask “Yes, he changed the name, when…”
“He revoked the adoption, and changed his mind?” Liz asked as she said those dreaded words “When he chose to raise his son?”
“Yes,” Maria acknowledged of the painful memories for her friend, which brought back a time that had given them more pain and angst than they could have experienced in a lifetime in a span of three years, “Max could not let the boy go through life with that name, because it brought back too many memories…” she murmured of the name that Tess had chosen for her son which seemed natural at one time, but only brought on sadness in the end. And so, Max elected to bring about new memories. Except,
he could not move on Maria thought, and that in the end had hurt him and his son much more…
“Yeah,” Liz sighed as she thought of the same memories “And he chose River?” she asked of the name “I guess, it is a better name to be honest?”
“Well River Dog was kind to us, before life got totally out of our control,” Maria murmured as she drifted back to those years, and how things had progressed from crazy to completely out of the control in a blink of the eye. “Although of course, one could say that life has been not always treated either of them that kindly?”
“Really?” Liz asked as she did not want to know, and yet she was taking the tidbits that Maria was so willingly able to give her
when Maria should know it does no one any good to go back into the past and reawaken old times that were successfully buried by the movement of time “I thought you said he did not even live-in town?” Liz asked.
“As I said, outside of town. River goes to the high school with Mac, and Isabel and Kyle’s daughters, Jessica, and Jaime. He is now seventeen, or we think he is” she allowed since they never knew the truth about River’s birth and Tess had not been one to tell the truth, so how could they know if what they had been told once she did, was the truth?
“We all grow up,” Liz thought at the thought of the little baby in Max’s arms was now seventeen, and capable of being a hero. “Is he?” she asked of the question she always had all these years. A lot of resentment sure, but the baby was, well, a baby, and therefore one never could tell whether he was truly normal or maybe he was special until he grew up and had a little more independence and control of his own body. “You know?”
“Like Max?” Maria wondered as anyone could sense what her friend was wishing for, and she knew Liz needed to assurance that Max’s decision, and therefore, her own decision was the right one. She had been a supporter of theirs, and she had hated to see Max and Liz end, but Maria could not deny that it had been right choice for her friend. While she, Maria, had made the opposite one. She had been unable to walk away. She loved Michael too much, but of course, she had been asked to raise a child that was not her own, and she did not have a chance to further her education, unlike her friend. So, yes, she did support her friend’s decision in getting away from their town. “Yes.”
“So, I guess then that Max was right to raise him?” Liz asked as she thought of the reason that outweighed all others in Max’s determination to raise his son. “Because I cannot imagine what would have happened if you know, he was out there in the world, and you know…”
“I know,” Maria allowed. “Of course, we have had to teach our children to blend in, and to be low key, like some of their parents before them so it is hard to know exactly what kind of kids they are in terms of their abilities, because at the end of the day, just being human can cause trouble” she thought of the mayhem her own son was capable, who was normal
to some extent at the end of the day, despite his abilities. And was quite capable of giving them normal level anxiety.
“You have got that right,” Liz sighed as she thought of their lives. “One can never know,” Liz sighed.
*
“You might want to take your eyes off your ex-girlfriend for just a minute and concentrate on me?” Michael asked as he approached his friend and was trying to bring his friend back to reality and had it had been an onerous chore since he arrived with the mission of knocking some sense into his friend. Of course, he had not expected it to be easy because this was not the first time that he has dealt with the man his friend had turned into. “It is pretty noticeable, because I mean your son is even beginning to ask questions about it” he muttered. “So, earth to Max, you might want to come back to our reality,” he sighed as they both glanced across the room to where Liz and Maria were having their conversation and could see his friend’s eyes trained in one direction. “Yes, Liz is here, but she is not going to vanish anytime soon.”
Well, she did once before Max thought as he turned his attentions away from his ex-girlfriend and back to his childhood best friend, and back to reality and settled back into the emergency room. As he could see that the waiting area had was a little emptier with Kyle taking Jessica and Jaime back home. Mac was still around and talking to his son. “How long have I been out of it?” he asked as offhand and clearly still distracted.
“About eighteen years,” Michael muttered as he could not help but think that once
that shooting took place. There was no turning his friend’s attention away from Liz Parker, even though the insanity of his friend’s unrequited love had started a decade earlier than that day. And it was a large reason why his friend was the way he was because Liz had given him the time of day once he became her savior.
When he saved the day.
There was no going back to how it was before, when Max could fixate on Liz Parker from a booth in the Crashdown and imagine how it could be if she said
hello to him in ways that were more than being chemistry or biology partners in their science class. Because everything changed after the shooting, and Max had a chance to grab that chance to be with his dream girl. And what did he had to show for it. A lot of heartache, and ruined lives, and a horrible relationship with his son or the undeniable fact there was no one else but Liz for his friend.
“Michael,” Max muttered.
“It’s the truth because you have not been the same since that day” Michael asked. “Maybe you should come back to reality and see what is before your eyes before you lose it?”
“River and I are fine,” Max lied.
“River and you are not fine,” Michael muttered. “I know what dysfunction is…”
“I am not Hank,” Max bristled at Michael’s remembrance.
“I am not saying you are,” Michael asked. “But punches do not have to be physical. They can come in words, and you and River are
both combative with each other, and you stand to lose him if you do try to fix things and staying in the past will not get you a relationship with your son. Assuming you want one?”
“I kept him, did I not?” Max bristled again as he remembered that yes, he had kept his son. And unfortunately, he ultimately had spent all these years making sure the boy never forgot that he could have been given away.
“Yes, you did” Michael agreed as he thought of the boy his godson was trying to be. “River is not Tess. And he is not you,” he asked as he thought of their families. “I know that when I look at my own son. They are their own people, and we need to understand that and make sure they do not do anything crazy. Your son was a hero tonight, and all he hears from you is blame…”
“I did not blame him,” Max muttered. “And can you not see that I am trying, but I do not know how to be anything different than who I am??”
“Then maybe you should take yourself out of past and concentrate on your now” Michael asked. “Your son did something remarkable tonight. And you should be celebrating that…” he thought. “But all you can think about what if it backfires on us, and if the Sheriff department asks to many questions when we both know Jim has our backs, at great cost to himself, as we have seen in the past. We can trust that this will go alright…”
“I know, I know” Max muttered. “I trust Jim, and I trust that this will not backfire on us,” he allowed. “
But I cannot help it. After all you trained me to be suspicious and to question everything…”
“Then forget that training,” Michael muttered because he did remember that he was once as paranoid as Max currently was, and willing to second guess every single gesture as their life was about to explode. And most of the time back then, their lives
were about to explode, with lasting consequences. But still, life has taught him to take things easier.
“I will try,” Max muttered.
“Good,” Michael muttered even though of course he knew it was funny of him to espouse the virtues of father and son relationships when he was out on his own at sixteen and until Maria, the only other stable relationship he had achieved were his two best friends, in Max and Isabel.
So, who am I to talk if Max wants to ruin his relationship with his son?
And yet Max’s eyes went back towards Liz… and Max could only shake his head.
And hoped this had a good ending?
*
Time was slowing and Liz could feel it as she looked around and she did not recognize this new world of hers. She did not even go back to looking at Max, even though she certainly had felt the heat and weight of his eyes on her, but she did not turn around and look at him. She needed answers, and she was finally going to be getting some as a doctor finally came to tell her that her son had been moved. And as soon as he was settled in the room. Then a nurse would come and get her if she still wanted to see her son.
Which she did. She needed to make sure he was going to be alright. Even though she had been assured by the doctors. Still, she needed to see with her own two eyes. And as she sent off her daughter, Mariah to the drink machine. She got up from her seat. Needing to stretch and get some movement into her limbs because the wait was getting torturous and she now sympathized with her patients when she was in medical school, before she specialized in research, and their wait for information.
She was now in the same position now, and she hated it.
How can anyone deal with this?
Brady had been so healthy up to tonight. The more she was hearing of the circumstances of this night. She could not understand how he could allow the car to get out of control. Especially with Alex in the car with him. She knew he had allowed Mariah out of the car because she wanted to spend time shopping and viewing main street, which was fine with her because Mariah was fifteen years old. Old enough to handle herself. After all she had grown up in Chicago.
But Alex stayed in the car with his father because Brady was picking up an early Birthday present for his new room.
A stereo. A combination Christmas and 13th birthday present and Alex wanted to go to pick it up, or at least arrange for it to be delivered, so Liz did not understand it. She and Brady had been married sixteen years now, and she knew her husband to be insanely healthy. He was always working out, and making her feel guilty because
she was not, she mused. He never got on her case about it. He always said it was one of his quirks that made them different.
She had thought nothing of it because she had been with another healthy guy, and that was for a whole other reason. So, she took Brady’s good health in stride, and they went through the years together.
Until tonight.
She knew Jim would want to interview her son because he had been in the car. “Honey,” Liz thought as a doctor, even if her career had been focused on research in the pursuit of answers most people could not imagine finding answers to, but it helped with rare diseases and finding hope for families that did not have hope.
“Yeah,” Mariah asked as she returned from the drink machine and handed her mother the drink that she had been asking for…
“Was anything bothering your father before you got out of the car. Did you notice anything bothering him?” Liz asked.
“No,” Mariah shook her head. “It was normal. Like any other time, I was in the car with Dad and Alex,” she said. “Dad wasn’t complaining about anything, except maybe the snow, but that was normal for Dad, so I do not know why it happened either because it never happened before…
“The car?” Liz asked.
“You drove it last; did you notice anything?” Mariah asked. “My driver’s lessons don’t start until next month…” she thought as her sixteenth would be in March…
“I know,” Liz thought as she was not looking forward to that day even though Brady told her that they could trust their daughter, and she knew he was right. They could trust Mariah, but life when you grow up can get confusing before you even realize it.
She trusted her husband that Brady would have come to her if he felt anything was wrong, and he would not have taken their two kids in the car even if Mariah were so close to driving age, and would be able to handle it, if she were forced to take over, since she knew that her daughter had been studying the driver’s manual for weeks even though lessons did not start until after Christmas. So, she was confident that he had not seen what was coming or so she hoped, and she prayed. “Please do not leave me Brady,” she whispered to herself
I am not sure I can start over again…
Not again she thought.
“Mom, Dad will be, okay?” Mariah asked even though she knew the situation and had seen how River was looking at the situation once he got her father and brother out of the wreck. Even to her, she knew it looked bad for her Dad. But she could not help but pray along with her mother. “He has to be, right?”
“Let us hope,” Liz murmured as they sat back down and waited.
*
Max stayed and watched. River had enough of it and had gotten permission to drive Mac home to the Guerin house, and he would stay for a sleepover so to keep a watch on his friend for his parents who were not ready for to leave the hospital. As they kept their own vigil for their friends, for different reasons. Maria was not going to be leaving Liz until she knew more, and Michael was not going to allow Max to stay and make a fool of himself if he left. Isabel had long gone home to Kyle and their girls.
Now it was almost midnight. It felt late, and it was late. And nothing was happening. All Liz could get from the nurse was the surgery was still happening, and they would let her know when they had news. Which did not help Liz and now she hated for how they made patient families wait for news.
Maria sat beside her friend as they kept wait for news.
Michael stood by Max. Mariah was asleep in the chair next to her mother, and Liz was ready to cause havoc if she did not get something soon…
She needed something, and that is when it happened. The door opened, and out came a doctor in their hat and mask, and she knew. They did not have to say anything, but she knew. She had seen it too many times when she was in medical school herself. The times she had to give the news that
no family wanted to hear, but still she got up.
“Mrs. Anthony?” came the man next to a younger doctor who likely an intern or a resident. Liz did not know which, and right now she did not care…
“Yes,” Liz murmured. “Is my husband alright?”
“Unfortunately….”
And then Mariah who had woken up and stood next to her mother, and godmother in Maria. Both knew.
“Unfortunately,” Liz asked, as she was forcing them to say the words.
“There was too much damage, and we were unable to save your husband. We tried our best, but your husband died on the table before we were able to get his heart to beat again, I am so sorry Dr. Anthony.”
‘It is Mrs. Anthony,” Liz thought. She did not want to hide behind her profession this time because for sixteen years she had been Elizabeth Anthony.
Brady’s wife and now she was not, she was worse…
“I am sorry…” came the doctor.
“You are saying my husband is dead,” Liz asked numbly as she felt faint. She did not know she could feel like this.
Not again. This was deeper. This pain was horrific. She had already felt it once before, and she got her miracle, but she knew her miracles had run out this time. She had asked for too much and was given too much.
And now they were making her pay… And suddenly she felt like she was going to fall, and she did, but she did not hit the hard fall, but she fell into a soft landing…
Into someone arms, and she did not have to look behind her to know who it was…
It was Max.
She had fallen into Max’s arms. But she did not care, all she wanted to do was close her eyes, and make this pain go away…
“Mom,” Mariah cried as did not understand why her mother would fall into River’s father’s arms, and why he was acting like he was given a gift…