Roswell Fanatics

AN: Hey all :waves: Finally have an update for this fic.

Thanks for all the wonderful feedback. I know most of you thought that Liz took him back a bit too soon, kind of like at the end of Departure and most of Season 3 but the reasons why will be explained in the next part.

****VERY IMPORTANT NOTE, PLEASE READ******

Also I just wanted to give everyone a warning. This fic is experimental, it’s definitely going to be ten parts and we’re on Part 7 now so only three more to go. Anyway, back to the main point, lol, as it’s experimental, I suddenly thought I’d play around with the POV and third person style narrative.

So I have a correction regarding dreamer insurance, the POV parts are dreamer insured, fully but after Part 8, I suggest that anyone who wants a happy dreamer ending stop reading part of the way through Part 8 (and I’ll give ample warning of where you guys should stop) but for those of you who don’t mind a sad dreamer ending then go ahead and read Parts 8, 9 and 10.
I just thought I ‘d give a warning because I didn’t want to lead anyone on.

Okay, now that that’s done, here’s Part 7 and after reading it, you’re probably wondering why there’s a Part 8, 9 and 10, but all I can say is that it’s going to take on an interesting twist…


****

That One Moment : Part 7

Liz’s POV

****

I never told my parents about my attempted suicide. I swore everyone to secrecy. My friends and the doctors all told me to talk to someone, but I told them that I would be fine because Max was here and he was all I needed.

You know the saying that some things are easier said then done?
Well, that’s exactly what it was like for Max and I.

****

After I left the hospital and went back to Boston, Max came with me. He worked from an apartment that he rented for two months, all so that we could go out for coffee.

Which we did of course, we had coffee, we talked, we caught up.
My world was perfect until one Wednesday, my rose-tinted glasses were suddenly taken away from my eyes.

Our day had gone like our usual days spent together, we had gone out for coffee, talked, caught up and then he walked me to my door. We said a platonic “talk to you later” and then shared a beyond platonic kiss.

I don’t think either of us planned it, it just happened. I should have expected it because throughout our time of getting to know each other again, all the feelings I’d had for him years ago, came flooding back with full force but I could deal with those. I could rationalise them away as my being nostalgic.
It was the new feelings that grew from the old. They were stronger and determined and they were the major influence of the kiss. If I had doubted it before, there was no doubt in my mind or heart that I wanted Max.

The kiss was to summarise, explosive.

It started off slow and hesitant, our lips getting reacquainted. Once familiarity was established, all our restraint was lost. Our tongues duelled and danced, catching up with lost time. There was no hesitation as his hands explored my arms, my back, my hair…well you get the picture. Every area he touched ignited with recognition of who that touch belonged to and screamed for more. Finally I was whole, or so I thought.

It was perfect, it was what I’d been dreaming about for years but after we resurfaced for air, I felt tears sting my eyes, my heart tightened as a wave of anger came out of nowhere, I clenched my jaw to control it.

He noticed the change immediately. “Liz, are you okay?” he asked.

“No,” I replied shaking my head, “I’m not Max. I mean, I thought I was but I’m not.”

If he thought I was referring to something other than our relationship, then my last sentence cleared it up for him because I saw him tense, confusion and apprehension poured from his eyes. He remained silent waiting for me to continue and I didn’t fail to disappoint.

Suddenly, everything became clear to me.

“We’ve been almost playing house Max,” I said.

“What do you mean?” he asked.

“We’ve been having coffee, dinner, hanging out with each other’s friends, talking about everything else apart from what really matters.”

My anger started to build up again but this time I didn’t plan on holding it back. If our relationship was going to go any further then I had to do this.

“We talk about what happened at the hospital-” he began.

“Yes, but we don’t really talk Max!. We refer to it, we talk over it, but we haven’t dealt with the issues that came up.”

“Okay,” he held up his hands in an attempt to calm me and the growing tension between us, “ you wanna talk? Let’s talk.”

“No,” I shook my head again, “I’m gonna talk and you’re going to listen…,” I felt light-headed as I struggled to over come the pain, “…and then you’re going back to San Francisco…“

He recoiled as if I‘d slapped him. He was confused and hurt, but so was I.

You have to do this, I told myself sternly.

…and not call me for a while…I‘ll call you” I finished.

His pained expression broke my heart. I immediately wanted to take it all back and go back to that kiss but the kiss was the reason I had to do it. My decision was hurting us both, but it was the only way.

He took a small step towards me. “Liz-”.

I held up my hand to stop him from coming any more. “Max, don’t.”

My body couldn’t hold in my repressed emotions anymore, so I wasn’t surprised to realise that I was shaking. My whole body was trembled as I watched him take a step back to give me the space I needed.

“ I’ve been shutting all my emotions up and now they’re just screaming inside of me and I just can’t pretend to be okay about everything anymore...”
Tears streamed down my cheeks, my vision blurred. I was grateful for that because I couldn’t see his eyes clearly, otherwise, I don’t know if I could have said everything I wanted to say. My breathing was heavy as I struggled against the heart-wrenching pain I felt.

“…I can’t keep pretending that everything’s fine, but it’s not…I’m not.”

“Liz-”

I knew he wasn’t going to just accept what I’d said and I didn’t want him to go any further because I knew my resolve would weaken, so I stopped thinking of his pain and just concentrated on mine.

“Four years Max! Four years!. You’ve put me through hell!. I thought I was okay with it, that I’m past it, but I’m not. You left me because of some lies Tess told you. You watched me, knew what I was going through but just left me alone!”.

“You know why I did that,” he pleaded.

“Because you thought it was what was best for me,” I shouted.

“Liz-”

“No.!” I couldn’t hide the bitterness, anger and determination in my voice. It silenced him and made my voice sound foreign even to me. “You didn’t have enough faith in me, in us, to think that we could deal with it.”

“That’s not it-”

“Yeah, yes it is,” I argued.

He opened his mouth to say the words which I knew were sure to flow, but I beat him to it.

“Don’t say you’re sorry Max, that’s not what I want from you.”

“Then what do you want?” he asked defeated.

“I want you! I want us!… but now when I’m like this. I nearly killed myself for you! Max, that’s not healthy.”

The silence almost suffocating as the implication of my words dawned on us both.

“I’m not saying you’re not healthy for me Max,” I said softly, “ I’m saying that I’m not over it. It was too fast and too easy and I made it that way because I wanted you back so much…but that’s not right.”

I had so much to say and wanted to get it all out of me not only for him to know but for me to hear myself say the words that I had tried to suppress.

“I wouldn’t have given up on us, but you did Max. I would have fought for us, I would have talked to you first. I haven’t forgiven you for that.”

I paused to take a breath, to make sure that I had enough energy to keep standing and to give Max a chance to say something.

“What can I do?”, he pleaded, “ I love you Liz.” he said softly.

“I know and I love you too…“ I sighed.

I was tired and drained, I wiped the tears from my eyes and my vision was once again clear. I found myself staring into the hurt, fearful eyes of my soul mated and somehow, I managed to go on “…but I need time…away from you.”

His eyes watered and there was the pain again, my decision was hurting us both, but it was for the best.

“I’m not saying forever,“ I continued, “but I spent four years in emotional turmoil. It’s not magic, I can’t wave a wand, cast a spell and make it go away…I wish I could but I can’t. It takes time and I need to know me without you and be okay with that before we can become a we again.”

“I don’t want to lose you again Liz,“ he said in a small quiet.

I took a step towards him, reached out my arm and took a hold of his hand and squeezed it gently. “I don’t think you will”.

A small, sad crooked smile crossed my lips as I slowly and reluctantly let go. “I don’t know how to do this,” I continued, “ I know that I need to talk to someone to deal with my attempted suicide and I do know that I still want to talk to you and be friends and hopefully more. I’m not good for me, Max, as I am. I want to be better for us, for you.”

I didn’t want him to fight me on this. There was no way that he could.

In silence, our gazes locked onto each other as if silently communicating our thoughts, I knew that he wouldn’t fight me on this.

He finally vocalised what, his eyes had silently told me. “I understand.”

I nodded with relief and found myself crying against his chest.
“This is really heard for me Max because I love you but-”

He held me in his comforting embrace, stroking my hair, quietening my cries.

“I know, I know,” he whispered softly in my ear. “ I’ve waited four years for you Liz, however long it takes if you still want me, I’ll be here.”

Amazed that he could ever think that I wouldn‘t want him, I lifted my head from his chest and looked up at him, “I’ll always want you Max” I smiled.

We stepped out of the embrace, “and thank you,” I added.

He kissed me then. It was a sad kiss mingled with our tears, but it held promises of things to come.

He rested his forehead against mine. “Just to remember me by. So that you don’t forget,” he said softly.

I kissed him back fiercely. “Never.”

I cried as I watched him leave. I wanted to run after him and tell him…I don’t know what-I wanted to magically heal but that wasn’t reality.

****

In reality, it took me six months to heal at a level where I liked myself again, where I found myself again. Throughout that period, Max and I talked a lot over the phone and emailed each other.

As one of my treatments suggested by my therapist, I wrote him a letter telling him everything I felt towards him, love, anger, pain, everything.

He wrote back, he didn’t say sorry this time and I was glad because we were past sorry now.

Instead he offered to give me the rest of his life as compensation for the pain he’d put me through.

A year later, I took him up on that offer.

****

We got married on a beautiful summers day, in a small chapel in Roswell with our closest friends and family.

As I walked down the aisle towards the man I was going to spend the rest of my life with, my mind reflected back to that Graduation day when Max Evans lay dying on the Crashdown floor and confessed that he loved me.

That was the moment my life changed and regardless of all the pain we’d been through and inflicted on each other, I wouldn’t have had it any other way because ultimately, we found each other again.

****

AN: Okay, here’s the next part. There’ll be an author’s note at the end, that’s all I’m saying.

frenchkiss70 wrote: It's going to be hard knowing what they've been through already, I was kinda hoping they'd have an happy ending.

You know what? I was too. It actually pains me to do this, but I have to follow my muse. I haven’t written a sad ending before, I thought it was about time.

Smac wrote:.But now you say we don't have dreamer insurance?After all this,how can you do this to us,your loyal readers...
I don't know if I can take them splitting up again since she decided to get back with him and married him.

*shields herself from the onslaught of books* I know, I know, I'm sorry and I'm evil 'cause my muse is in control, what can I say?

****WARNING: This is an experimental fic in narrative voices, so just to tell you that I’m ending the POV’s a little way in the fic and going into the third person. And I will also put a warning where dreamers wanting a happy ending need to stop reading. Other than that, everything is good to go….****



****

That One Moment: Part 8

Max’s POV

****


I married Liz Parker on August 1, on a beautiful Roswellian summer.
She was beautiful. I was the happiest man in the universe.
Our life as man and wife began and to my amazement, it got better than I ever imagined it could get.

We had our ups and downs after the honeymoon period what with getting used to each other’s habits and most importantly of all, choosing where to work and live.

I transferred to Boston because that’s where Liz wanted to be and wherever Liz wanted to be, I did too. I wrote for the Boston Chronicle and some freelance for various magazines while Liz pursued her dream of being the head of molecular biology at Harvard.

A year later, we had our first child, Noah. Then came the twins, Claudia and Isabel. Then finally we had Jason.

Life with our children took some adjusting and so did life with our grandchildren.

Liz and I sat in Noah and Anya’s backyard watching Lily and Calista play when I noticed a secret smile grace her mouth.

“What are you thinking about?” I asked.

She sighed happily, “Just that all this happened because you were shot and nearly died on the Crashdown floor.“ She turned and looked at me with a deeper love than I could have ever imagined someone having for me.
“That moment changed my life Max.”

“Mine, too,” I agreed.

“I love you,” she said.

Till the day I died, I would never tire of hearing those words from her mouth.


*****DREAMERS WHO WANT A HAPPY ENDING, STOP HERE. OTHERWISE, CONTINUE….****

“I love yo-”

“-Max you have to wake up, you have to”.
The desperate plea came out of nowhere and filled the air until I felt it wrap itself around me, seeping into my skin and pulling my mind somewhere else.
In a flash of brilliant white light, I found myself looking into a pair of familiar brown eyes.

****

Isabel couldn’t breathe. She couldn’t blink for fear that the next time she opened her eyes, she would be staring at his closed eyelids.

“Max?” she whispered tentatively.

“Isabel?”. His face was a picture of confusion and alarm.

“Yeah, it’s me,” she confirmed through blurred vision.

He’s wake! she sang, he’s awake!

****

Max slowly sat up trying to quell the panic rising within him.
The last memory he had was of sitting in the back garden of his son and daughter in-law watching their grandchildren play, with Liz by his side.

Why am I here? He thought as his eyes darted around the room.
Why am I in a hospital?
Where’s Liz? Where are the kids?

“Max, I’m gonna get the doctor, I’ll be right back.”
He turned his focus to the owner of the voice. It was Isabel, a younger looking Isabel.

“Wait!“, he reached out and grabbed her hand. He only had one question in mind. “Where’s Liz?” he asked.

Isabel opened her mouth to reply but nothing came out because the reply was uttered from behind the drawn curtains on his left.

“Max?!”. The voice was as panicked and confused as he felt, but just hearing it calmed him down.

She was okay, they were both fine. Except we’re in hospital and Isabel looks eighteen, he reminded himself.

“Liz?” he called out.

The curtains were drawn open to reveal his soul mate. A very young Liz sitting up in a bed similar to his with the same expression he possessed.

One of utter, mind-boggling confusion.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

“I’m fine, are you?” she asked.

“Yeah. What happened? Where are the kids?”

“Kids?”. The voice belonged to a very young Maria, younger than he remembered her.

She looked back and forth between them. “You guys have been in a coma for three weeks,” she explained.

It took a while for Max to process what he had just heard.

“What?” he asked.

A coma? For three weeks?

He met Liz’s stunned gaze. Without words, he knew that she knew, that this wasn’t their world.

“I was on my way to get the doctors,” he heard Isabel say.

“I’ll come with,” said Maria.

Isabel gave his arm a gentle squeeze, “Don’t go anywhere,” she smiled.

He tore his gaze away from Liz to respond. “I won’t,” he assured her.

Max watched dazed as the two girls quickly headed out of the room.
Once the door was closed, he turned his attention back to Liz.

“We were in a coma for three weeks,” she repeated.

He nodded.

“You look younger,” she said.

The pieces of the puzzle were coming together and what it was revealing created shearing pain in her heart.

“So do you,” he responded, “so does Maria…”

“So does Isabel,” she finished.

He nodded.

It was the final confirmation and the final wall to be overcome by tears.

Liz slowly nodded and covered her mouth with her trembling hand to prevent her gasps from escaping and escalating into sobs.

“Oh God,” she whispered.

Over-powered by the surge of memories and feelings of utter loss, Liz decided that the only way she could breathe, was if she numbed herself from all thought, all awareness and just stared into nothingness.

She didn’t have to look at him to know that Max was doing the same thing.

Bright warm July sun rays filtered into the room.
Balloons and get well soon cards decorated the room.

In two hospital beds, a dark haired, amber eyed eighteen year old Max Evans, sat breathing, eyes glazed over staring into open space. Beside him, in the other bed, a dark haired, brown eyed eighteen year old Liz Parker did exactly the same thing.

In that silence, they both mourned the loss of their lives.

****

AN : Yep, you guessed it, we’re back at the beginning. I’m evil, I know but I really wanted to explore this concept.
To clear up a few things: As in the beginning of this fic, Max and Liz are 18 again, graduation did happen, the shooting did happen and that’s all I’m gonna say for now till the next part.

Also Max and Liz are not going to split up, but it is going to have a sad dreamer ending. Wondering how? Then keep on reading

AN: I thought my muse had gone away this week but after I finally wrote out a part to my ever first Crossover fic (Roswell/Smallville/Charmed) called Pinch Me.

*shrugs* Hey it's a plug but what can you do . I felt like updating this fic

First off, thanks for the positive feedback regarding the direction this fic is going. The next part is part 9...a]. This is a ten parter fic only, those are the rules I made for myself in this fic, so I made part 9 into a] and b] part. That means it's nearly over...ahhh!!

frenchkiss70 wrote:That was brilliant. I really didn't expect that one.

I can't wait to see where you're leading us. But I guess I'd have to read a sappy dreamer fic to comfort me after.

That is exactly why I'm writing The Good One, to offset all the sadness that's either happening or going to happen in my fics. About The Promise, the next part will have quite a bit of angst but it'll be all good, I promise

Anyway, it's not the end yet so here's the next part:

P.S.

****

Part 9 a

****

The entrance of the two doctors accompanied by Isabel and Maria drew the couple out from their stunned trance-like states of mourning.

Max met the eyes of Doctor Stevens, the doctor he had been seeing for half his life, as he made his way to his bed.

"Hey Doc," he greeted him.

There was plenty to be said, that went unsaid and Max was grateful for that because he didn't want Liz to know.

At least not right now.

"Good to see you're up and awake," he said.

Max pursed his lips together. He wanted to say that he was, he really did but the memories of his other life were still too vivid. In that world, he had had his family and lived a full life. In this world, he was living on borrowed time.

But it's time I have and I should be grateful for it, he decided.

"Yeah me too," he said finally.

Doctor Stevens introduced Doctor Matthews before both doctors carried out tests on both him and Liz.

Max glanced at her and met her gaze, they shared a comforting smile, a silent promise to each other that together, they would get through it.

"I called Mum and Dad and Michael, and Maria called Liz's parents, they're on their way," said Isabel.

Without looking away from Liz, Max nodded. He didn't want to deal with lectures about secrecy and jeopardizing his health and most of all, he didn't want to see the tears or the fearful expressions from her.

"Well your vitals are good," said Doctor Stevens, " the wound is healing but Max-"

His tone brought Max back to the reality of his world. He heaved a tired sigh before finally meeting his gaze. "I know Doc," he said.

"Why didn't you tell us?" asked a tearful Isabel.

The look on her face caused his throat to tighten. He didn't want to deal with this, not now.

"Later Iz," he pleaded softly, " right now, I want to know what happened to Liz and I".

Max watched as the two Doctors shared looks with Maria and Isabel as if deciding whether it would be best to tell them or not.

Max was about to politely tell them that they had a right to know when Dr. Matthews nodded his head. Apparently, Max noted, they had come to a decision.

"We'll leave you in privacy and come in later with your parents," he said.

"Thank you," said Max.

Once the door was closed, both he and Liz turned expectantly to Isabel and Maria who sat on the chairs beside their beds.

****

"Start from the beginning," Liz requested.

She had left a happy life in her comatose state to discover another life that she was living. She could have accepted that it was just a dream, but a shared dream between her and Max? That wasn't possible, was it?

"It was after Graduation," began Maria.

Memories of Graduation day flashed through Liz's mind. The excitement, her valedictorian speech. The celebration at the Crashdown, Max getting shot.

"...and we were celebrating at the Crashdown and you," Maria glanced at Max, "were staring after Liz as usual".

She smiled as she watched Max blush under their collective gazes.

"Yeah, well," continued Isabel with a smirk, "Things were going as usual."

Liz nodded, that fit in exactly with her memories.

"Liz you got up to get something from the counter and we kinda convinced Max to finally ask you out, then a fight broke out. There was a struggle with a gun and it was aimed in your direction."

Wait. That doesn't fit, she told herself.

Isabel was looking at her.

The gun was pointed at her.

That was the moment, her memories diverged. In one set, Max had got shot, in the other set, the gun had been pointed in her direction and she...

Her hand touched the healing wound on her abdomen. "I got shot", she whispered.
Isabel nodded sadly. "Max raced to intercept it but um, he was a second too late and you were hit. A second shot went off and he was hit."

Silence descended on the room.

It took a while for the memories to divide but Max had successfully managed to have them going in parallel. Two different memories of the same events with different outcomes.

"We both got shot?" he asked incredulous.

"Yeah," nodded Maria.

Max met Liz's gaze and both couldn't stop the laughter from escaping.

"What are you guys laughing at?" asked Maria.

"I-I'm...sorry," struggled a breathless Max, "but it's just too funny. I mean talk about a botched hero attempt. That is one story we are definitely not telling our kids of how mummy and daddy met."

The second the words were out, he realised his mistake. In this world, he and Liz weren't together yet.

"Um yeah, you keep talking about kids," said Maria quizzically.

"Yeah," Liz flashed Max a shy blissful smile, "we do." She realized that they weren't together in this version of life, but she was still the same Liz Parker who was in love in the quiet Max Evans and she was overjoyed to find out that he was...talking about kids, their kids.

Isabel and Maria glanced from one smiling face to another before shrugging their shoulders in confusion.

"Yeah, okay I don't think you're give anymore info on that topic," said Maria, "so I guess we'll continue with the flashback. The guys got arrested and everything and you two..." she glanced at the healthy faces before her, "you were hanging on by a thread, the doctors didn't think you would make it, but you did and then slipped into a coma."

Liz couldn't help but share a secret smile with Max.

And oh what a lovely coma it was, she thought blissfully. Sure it had it's ups and states of depression but, I got my happily ever after.

"At first you were in two separate rooms," continued Isabel, " but then you started calling out each other's names, it was totally weird and then you started having conversations with each other."

"While you were in separate rooms," added Maria.

The whole thing had baffled them all. Liz and Max had been lab partners but never close friends but the things that they had said to each other in the coma, it had heart building and heart wrenching during different days.

" So the doctors and our parents figured maybe you two were connected somehow and it would be better if they kept you in the same room," continued Isabel, " You still didn't wake up, but you stopped talking aloud, we didn't know if that was good or bad...and then today you woke up, so I figure it was very good."

"Do you remember any of what Isabel said?" asked Maria.

"I'm starting to," replied Liz.

She remembered Max calling her name.
Then the bullet piercing her stomach.
Then the ground.
Then another body falling on top of her.
Then someone moving it off her and moving it next to her.
The It she had discovered, was Max.
She remembered their eyes meeting, their gazes locking and feeling cold but knowing that if she was with Max, everything would be okay.

The next thing that that set of memories showed her, was waking up from her coma.

"Me too," answered Max. "Wow, I got shot," he said in awe, "that's a first."

"Yeah and it better be your last," lectured Isabel good-naturedly.

He knew that there was more she wanted to say, more that they had to talk about but she read chose not to address it and he chose not to either, there would be time for that later.

****

The arrival of their friends and parents prevented Liz and Max from coming to a joint decision over how they felt and what had happened to them.

Liz stared in awe at the people surrounding her, their younger versions, and for the first time since she had woken up, she felt as relieved to be awake as she was supposed to.

Her mother enveloped her in a hug which left her gasping for air. "Lizzie, I'm so glad you're awake," she told her tearfully.

"Me too Mum," she responded truthfully, "me too".

"How could you not have told us Max?!". The sound of Mrs. Evans' distressed tone drew Liz's attention from her family to Max. He was surrounded by his family and while their relief was evident, she noticed the tense and fearful expressions on their faces.

Why are they looking like that? she wondered, Is something wrong with Max?

The second the thought entered her mind, she dismissed it. There couldn't be anything physically wrong with Max, he had been through enough already.

It has to be something else, she convinced herself.

"Liz are you listening?". Her father's voice drew her attention back to the people surrounding her.

"Yeah Dad, I am," she replied with a smile.

Over the noise of her family, she managed to hear snippets of the conversation Max was having with his family.

"I didn't want you to treat me any different. I just wanted a normal life," she heard him argue.

"You're not normal Max." That was Isabel.

"Can we talk about this later? Please?". Max again.

"Are you sure you can take that risk?". From the apprehensive tone of the voice, she knew it could only belong to his mother.

"Trust me, there will be a later," she heard Max say.

What's going on with him? she wondered. Her curiosity was driving her insane and very impatient. In one set of memories of her life, she had spent decades married to Max, of asking him or demanding him to tell her what if anything was wrong with him, she couldn't just detach herself from him because even her reality now, she wanted her happily ever after.

****

After both families had said all they needed to say and hugged her more than she had ever been hugged in a day, her mother asked the question she desperately wanted to know.

"Can we take her home doctor?" she asked.

"We want to keep them overnight for observation and if everything checks out, they can be picked up tomorrow morning."

"Great, see you then honey," said her Mum.

"Bye," she replied.

Liz watched their families vacate the room and once it was empty, she turned her attention back to Max.

"So um, what was that all about with your family?" she asked non-chalantly.

"I'm not really up for talking about it now." Max looked at anywhere but her. That was a clear sign that whatever it was, it was either major or embarrassing or possibly both.

"But you will tell me later."

"Yes dear," he teased.

"Sorry," she said with an embarrassed smile, " I keep forgetting we're not..."

"Together?" he supplied with a teasing smirk.

Liz felt herself blushing. "I was gonna say married but yeah. I mean, I don't know whether to jump into bed with you or introduce myself."

"I know what you mean," he chuckled, "considering what we've been through."

"I know," she agreed, "But I think it's like we're getting a second chance you know. Not that we weren't happy there but we've been given a chance to not royally screw it up at the beginning like with the whole Tess thing and your idiotic idea to just take yourself out of my life-".

Liz stopped to draw a breath and realized that a] she was babbling and b] Max was looking at her with that intense look that guaranteed that she would forget what she planned to say.
Which of course she did.

Instead Liz focused on staring at his eyes and his lips. Wanting so much to kiss him in their present reality as she had countless in their other life.

"So if we're back at the beginning," he began with a half smile, "then I guess it answers the dilemma."

She stared at him cluelessly as he stared at her expectantly.

The half smile grew wider to a full amused smile. "Whether to jump into bed with me or..."

"...introduce myself," she nodded remembering. That's what she had been talking about. "Yes, I guess it does" she agreed.

They went back to saying nothing and just staring at each other with wide shy smiles that both couldn't control.

The image of having her way with Max Evans on the hospital bed jolted Liz back to reality.

She greeted him with a small wave, flustered cheeks and a shy smile. "Hi, I'm Liz Parker, you're ex high-school lab partner, gun-shot roomie and the girl who's had the biggest crush on you for years."

He greeted her in the same manner which only intensified her hospital bed fantasy. "Hi Liz, I'm Max Evans, gun-shot roomie number two and the guy who's had the biggest crush on you for years."

"Good to meet you," she smiled.

"Same here."

****

AN: Hey guys, finally got a chance to update this fic. It’s nearing the end now, which is sad, but has to be done.

PhoenixFlamez, roswellluver, Frenchkiss70, Smac, liz_maria

Thanks for the bumps guys and now without further ado, here’s Part 9b


****
Previously

Part 9a


"So if we're back at the beginning," he began with a half smile, "then I guess it answers the dilemma."

She stared at him cluelessly as he stared at her expectantly.

The half smile grew wider to a full amused smile. "Whether to jump into bed with me or..."

"...introduce myself," she nodded remembering. That's what she had been talking about. "Yes, I guess it does" she agreed.

They went back to saying nothing and just staring at each other with wide shy smiles that both couldn't control.

The image of having her way with Max Evans on the hospital bed jolted Liz back to reality.

She greeted him with a small wave, flustered cheeks and a shy smile. "Hi, I'm Liz Parker, you're ex high-school lab partner, gun-shot roomie and the girl who's had the biggest crush on you for years."

He greeted her in the same manner which only intensified her hospital bed fantasy. "Hi Liz, I'm Max Evans, gun-shot roomie number two and the guy who's had the biggest crush on you for years."

"Good to meet you," she smiled.

"Same here."

****

Part 9b

I was married to Liz Parker.
I’m now talking to Liz Parker. I’m joking with Liz Parker.
I’m in love with Liz Parker and she’s in love with me.

The words, like a wonderful song programmed to repeat itself, played around Max’s head as he and Liz talked the night away.

They talked about school, about their families, the moment they had fallen for each other and why they had never acted on their feelings.

“In case you haven’t noticed Max, you’re a total babe,” she had explained blushing, “and I’m just plain old Parker. I thought you were out of my league and that you weren‘t interested.”

He in turn had responded with a half-truth. “There is nothing plain about you Liz, that’s why I thought you were out of my league,” he had blushingly admitted.
Of course, he had missed out the most important reason he had never pursued her or any other girl in high school, he was on borrowed time and did not want to unnecessarily rob anyone of theirs.

The coma was the best thing that had ever happened to him because he had been allowed the chance to live a lifetime with the woman he loved. In this reality, it would be a miracle if he lived to the age of twenty. Liz deserved someone who had a higher life-expectancy than his, she deserved someone who she could grow old with and much to his sorrow, he wasn’t that person. That didn’t change the fact that he loved her and that she loved him and if he had learnt anything from the life they had shared together, it was that he would never again make a decision that concerned their relationship alone without consulting her. He would tell her everything and leave the choice up to her.

But not tonight, he decided. Tonight, it’s just going to be me and Liz, together in this reality in one perfect burden free night.

“Hey, how about we go for a walk?” she suggested suddenly.

He took a moment to revel at the way her smile seemed to magically light up her face.
“What?” he asked with a smile.

“Well,” she began on propped elbow, “we’ve been laying in a bed for weeks, I say we exercise our muscles and just go for a walk.”

I don’t care where we go, he thought blissfully, I’d go anywhere as long as you’re with me.

In their other life, he would have uttered the words aloud but in this world, they were taking things slow and he feared that the intensity of his words would make her take a few tentative steps away from him. It was irrational he knew because they had declared their love for each other, which was as intense as it could get, but he wanted nothing to jeopardise the development of their relationship in his present reality.

“Okay,” he agreed.

He waited till she had swung her legs over the edge of her bed and with her back to him put on a nightgown, before he began mirroring her movements.

“Do you think they’ll let us out?” he asked.

He resisted the urge to cross over to her bed and wrapped his arms around her.

“Doubt it, but we can explore the wards,” she replied.

Everything was fine until, standing up, his feet touched the ground. It was as if at that exact same moment, someone had suddenly reduced the amount of oxygen in the room.

His hands instinctively gripped the bed to steady his balance.

Breathe, he coached himself. Take one full breath.

But to his horror, it didn’t happen, it couldn’t happen.

His lungs were screaming for oxygen but he couldn’t give it to them.

“Do you think they’ll be a scar after the bullet wound has fully healed?” he heard her ask. Her voice sounded faraway while his panicked attempts to breathe were as loud as a trumpet playing next to his ears.

His hand shot up to his chest as something sinister and cold gripped his heart.

Oh no. Not now.

“Max?” he heard her ask.

Just open your mouth and speak, he ordered himself.

He felt his mouth open but instead of speaking, his mouth of its own accord, desperately inhaled what oxygen it could.

Panicked, he eyes sought her out.
She turned, her eyes grew wide.
That was all he remembered before his was swallowed by the darkness.

“Oh my God, Max!”.

****

The second his body had hit the floor, she had sprung into action and was by his side in an instant.

With every movement she made, with every breath she took, Max slipped further and further away from her. As she cradled his face between her palms, Liz ignored the pain caused by the pounding of her heart against her ribcage, all she cared about was Max and keeping him with her, where he was meant to be.

“Max!” she pleaded breathlessly.

His eyes fluttered open, a brief smile crossed his mouth before it faded, before his eyes closed, taking from her, the flutter of hope she had initially felt.

She felt his pulse, it was weak and fading fast.

“You can’t die,” she whispered before rushing to his bedside and pressing the alarm.

Her body yearned for action. She had to move, she had to call someone, hit something, she had to feel like she was doing something to save him.

She dashed to the door, swung it open and ran into the corridor screaming for help.

Before help came, the seconds she had waited for it had felt like hours and then after that, everything happened in the blink of an eye.

When help came, her body shut down.

Nurses rushed in, so did Doctor Matthews. They surrounded him, lifted him onto a gurney, medical orders were barked out and for one bizarre moment, Liz felt like she wasn’t part of what was happening. She was just a visitor who had stepped onto the set of ER. At any moment, someone would yell cut, Max was get up and smile and they would carry on with their lives.

The moment passed when they brushed past her as they moved him out of the room. Suddenly she could move, her body and her brain were functioning.

“Is he going to be okay?” she asked following the procession.

“I don’t know,” replied Dr. Matthews tensely.

Her eyes focused on Max. He lay limp, pale and vulnerable.

He shouldn’t be like this. He should be awake, laughing and smiling. We should be taking our walk now.

“What’s wrong with him?” she asked.

They came to a halt in front of the elevators.

“I’m not at liberty to say,” he replied.

Her heart and her head threatened to explode.

“Where are you taking him?,” she demanded.

“Liz-”

“Doctor,” her voice was calm, her gaze was unwavering and direct, her words were slow and definite. “ I love him, he can’t die.”

The elevator doors opened, Liz found that she couldn’t step into it. Where they were going, where they were taking Max, she couldn’t follow because if she did, she knew that she would come undone.

“We’ll do the best we can.” His voice was filled with compassion, it was soft and comforting. “ We’ll notify his family, they’ll be taken to the waiting room down the hall. The nurse can take you if you want to wait there.”

The doors closed leaving her alone with a nurse by her side.

Liz didn’t know how long she stood staring at the metallic doors. She didn’t remember being taken to the waiting room, all she remembered was the life she had had with Max and in doing so, she felt his presence and that upheld her legs until she could sit down.

****

Max can’t be dead.
He can’t be dying.
He just survived a gun shot wound.
He’s going to be fine.
They’ll fix him and tomorrow we can go home and start our lives together.
I’ll get to hold him, I’ll get to kiss him, I’ll get to love him.

The repetitive mantra played through her head until she was jolted back to her harsh reality when the door to the waiting room burst open and in stepped red eyed Diane and Isabel Evans followed by a solemn Phillip Evans.

“Liz.”

She took Isabel’s voice as a sign to explain what had happened.

She looked up at them and felt surprising numb. “We were going to go for a walk, he got up and just collapsed.”

She watched as Diane Evans’ expression crumbled and tears spilled down her cheeks.

“Honey”. Her voice was filled with such compassion and sympathy that Liz had to look away.
The room descended into silence as the almost grieving family sat down. Liz felt Max’s mother sit next to her and from the corner of her eye, saw that Max’s father sat next to her while Isabel sat on her other side.

It’s like I’m part of the family again, she thought absently.

“There’s something wrong with him isn’t there?” she asked tonelessly.

I will always the remember the light blue wall of this room, she thought absently. It’s cold and sterile.

A warm hand squeezed hers and Liz felt herself beginning to feel.
It hurt, a lot.

“He didn’t tell you?” came her mother-in-law‘s soft voice.

“He was going to, but not tonight,” she replied holding back the tears.

She wouldn’t cry for him, not now, not until she knew for sure-

“Max has an inoperable tumour in his heart.”

Liz felt her eyes glaze over. Nothing else existed apart from the voice and the blue wall across the room.

Max.
Tumour.
Inoperable.

Max plus an inoperable tumour equals no Max.

With the equation successfully calculated, Liz felt that there was no reason to even attempt to stop her heart’s assault. She let it pulverize her ribcage, leaving an excruciatingly raw gaping hole from which a red potent liquid escaped from. Her life was painfully fading away but the tears still wouldn’t come.

“…we didn’t think that we’d have him for as long as we have,” she finished tearfully.

Liz knew that they were expecting her to break down and cry or shout or be angry but she didn’t have the energy to do any of those things.

“Max has a heart,” she stated. “That’s a dangerous place to have a tumour. They can’t take it out.”

“No,” agreed Isabel softly.

Liz nodded, her glazed eyes still fixed on the cold blue wall. “So he’s just going to die sometime soon. He’s not going to live the life he was supposed to.”

His life with me, she added silently.

“I know that it’s a lot to handle,” began Isabel.

“No it’s fine.” Her body acting of its own accord, she shook her head in contradiction to her words.
“It’s fine,“ she determined rising up from her seat.

“Max,” she took a step forward, “ is on borrowed time. He may not get married,” she took another step forward,“ or have kids, or finish university…”

She took another step forward, “…or even last the night. He has a heart tumour, he has something killing him”. She stopped and turned to face his family and by doing that, she let herself feel the unbearable pain.

“Something is killing him and I’m fine.” Her last words out in one quickly expelled breath, taking with it her consciousness.

Liz didn’t feel the impact between the floor and her body.
She didn’t hear the concerned gasps from Diane or Isabel as she collapsed.
She didn’t feel anything apart from the intense sorrow coming from her where her heart had been.

****

AN: Hey guys. I managed to get the video done, so I'm ready to post the final part to this fic....I've been putting this off for a long time because I only wanted a ten parter and it's ending.

What to say...this fic has been fun to write and emotionally draining but I don't usually end fics like this, but this story just needed to be told I guess and I hope you've enjoyed it.

About the music video, I got so involved with this fic, I just had to put a visual on some of it. Closure and all. So I made a video that summarises the story, the best way I could, but obviously it won't be like exact or anything. I used Chantal Kreviazuk's Time in the fic and for the music video because that was just Max and Liz's song for this fic.
The poem used is by an unknown.
Feedback would be great, I would love to know how you found the video.

To:
Smac, frenchkiss70, crazeesmilee, extingman

crazeesmilee wrote: i really really love the way you move the story along soo quickly, yet it's not choppy or contrived (hm, i think that's the right word...but i dunno. i hit my head earlier...). ooh and i love the way max and liz are so open with each other. a little bolder than i'd ever be with someone sometimes, but i think it's a true sign that they love each other and trust each other and are comfortable with each other. (i mean...."hey i just tried to kill myself for you......and i'm not a virgin!" was pretty....brazen, imho)

~Juliet

Thanks so much because that effect was exactly what I was going for.


Begonia9508, Strawberry88,Dreamer 4 Ever, Lisa1783,Itzstacie, liz_maria,frenchkiss70, juliebehr, roswellluver, Alien614,

To all you feedbackers and lurkers out there, thanks for sticking with me, for the feedback and the bumps. This was an experimental fic and I'm so happy you guys liked it.
P.S. For the very last section, Liz's POV comes back...

So here it is:

****
PREVIOUSLY

Liz nodded, her glazed eyes still fixed on the cold blue wall. “So he’s just going to die sometime soon. He’’s not going to live the life he was supposed to.”

His life with me, she added silently.

“I know that it’s a lot to handle,” began Isabel.

“No it’s fine.”Her body acting of its own accord, she shook her head in contradiction to her words.
“It’s fine,“she determined rising up from her seat.

“Max,” she took a step forward, “is on borrowed time. He may not get married,” she took another step forward,“ or have kids, or finish university……”

She took another step forward, “…or even last the night. He has a heart tumour, he has something killing him”. She stopped and turned to face his family and by doing that, she let herself feel the unbearable pain.

“Something is killing him and I’m fine.” Her last words out in one quickly expelled breath, taking with it her consciousness.

Liz didn’t feel the impact between the floor and her body.
She didn’t hear the concerned gasps from Diane or Isabel as she collapsed.
She didn’t feel anything apart from the intense sorrow coming from her where her heart had been.

****
Part 10

Liz was awake before she opened her eyes, before her bodily movements became noticeable. Sounds and scents filled her enhanced senses forcing her to open her eyes and face her reality.

"Hi honey". The relief in her mother's voice was evident but that wasn't what Liz focused her attention on. Her mother was there which meant that she wasn't back in the world where she had Max for a lifetime. She held on against hope that maybe, she was someplace where Max wasn't dying.

"Where am I?" she asked.

Her father who was on the left side of her bedside answered. "You fainted. The doctor thought it'd be better to sedate you for a while, for you to get some rest."

So I'm not in a different place. I'm where I always was. And that means...

She turned to her mother, unable to keep her eyes from watering. "Is Max-", her throat tightened around each word. "Is he- is he still dying ?" she asked in a small voice.

Her mother nodded, the sympathy in her expression did nothing to comfort her. It only made the pain worse.

Liz closed her eyes and retreated for comfort in the darkness. "How is he?".

"He's resting," her father answered.

Liz opened her eyes and sat up. "Can I see him?".

"Liz!". Maria rushed through the door and nearly suffocated her in a hug. "You scared me."

After she got her breath back, Liz managed an apology.

"It's okay. Are you okay?".

Opened her mouth to reply but found that no words could come out. She was far from okay.

"We'll leave you two alone. We'll be out there if you need us," said her mother.

Liz nodded thankfully and waited till they were safely out of the room before she turned her attention back to her friend.

"They knocked you out for a while, it's 2pm," explained Maria.

"I've been out of it since last night?!". What had happened to Max during that time? How much time had she been robbed of spending with him even if he was asleep?

"Yeah."

"Have you seen Max?" she asked.

"I stopped by in the morning,," answered Maria. She struggled how to say what Max had told her to. "He's okay, alive and...um."

"What?" demanded Liz. The sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach was getting worse the more Maria squirmed under her gaze.

"He's not quite ready to see you."

"Well that's his problem not mine," she said moving to get out of bed. She wasn't going to let Max be a coward, he'd had years of hiding. His time was up.

"Liz wait," Maria gripped her arm. "We need to talk first."

"About what?".

Maria fixed her with a look of utter disbelief. "Well let's see, let's talk about the fact that you and Max are suddenly joined at the hip and seem to this connection with each other. You barely exchanged words in high school, never asked each other out, I mean, since when did that happen?!".

Liz studied her friend's panicked and confused expression. She did owe her an explanation, they were like sisters and she also needed someone to talk to. Her decision made, Liz sat back onto the bed.

"Okay, I'm going to tell you. It's going to sound completely crazy but neither of us is and it just is what it is. Oh and you can't tell anyone, promise?".

"I promise."

Liz took a deep breath and told her everything; her life and marriage to Max, the lifetime she had lived through already. Maria interrupted her every now and then to clarify events but remained relatively silent till the end.

"Woah," she whistled. "It's like Sliding Doors."

"What?".

"You know, the movie with Gwyneth Paltrow about how whether she caught or missed the train affected her life. For you it's the shooting. Wow!"

"So you don't think I'm crazy?" she asked surprised.

"If you couldn't explain the closeness between you and Max, then I'd have thought you were crazy, but this...you and Max have always had this weird powerful chemistry even when you just looked at each other...this makes sense somehow. I don't know how but my mind is at ease so-Liz, what is it?" asked Maria. She looked like someone had just died.

"He's dying," she replied tears filling her eyes. " I love him Maria, not just in that world, but here too. I've always loved him and-," she broke off as a sudden and powerful wave of sorrowful regret washed over her, "all that wasted time I was too shy to make a move. All through high school, we could have been together and I just threw it away," she added bitterly.

Maria took her hand in hers and gave her a gentle squeeze. "Hey, it's going to be okay."

"Really Maria? How?!", she demanded suddenly angry. "The man I love is dying, how is that going to be okay?!".

"I guess it's not," she replied sadly. The words had been the first thing out of her mouth, it was the automatic response that people gave to each other. That everything would be okay, but Liz was right, there nothing okay about Max dying.

"What I'm trying to say is," Maria tried again, "at least you got a chance to have him completely in one timeline. Liz, he's not gone yet, you may lose him later, but you've got him now. So make it worthwhile."

Liz wiped away her tears and nodded in agreement. "This is hard." Her words were mingled with suppressed sobs.

"I know it is honey and I wish I could say something or do something to make this go away but I can't" Maria knew that the pain and helplessness she felt for her friend was nothing compared to what she was going through. "It sucks."

****
When Max opened his eyes, he knew that he had dramatically changed the lives of his family again. He sat up and looked around the red-eyed tear stained faces around him.

"I guess you guys don't have to worry about how to pay me through college huh?" he joked.

"That's not funny," said his mother.

"I know," he agreed, "but I needed to lighten the mood." He hated it when everyone got depressed and sad, worst of all when they cried. He had only seen his father cry three times and they had all been because of him. He had tried his best to spare them from all the pain but this part, he couldn't make any better.

"You've been given at best four weeks to live Max, there is nothing that can lighten the mood," spat Isabel.

Max didn't even flinch at her words, she was angry, they all had every right to be; but she was also scared. They had been lulled into a false sense of security for years and now, it was like the rug had been pulled out from under them.

"Why didn't you tell us that you'd refused to start treatment again?" asked his father.

"Why did you stop seeing the doctor?" asked Isabel, " do you want to die, is that it Max?!"

"Isabel!", yelled his mother.

"I'm sorry!", she shouted, "but this doesn't make sense. Why?" she asked him.

"What I have, it's terminal," he replied. He saw them all flinch at his words, they didn't want it to be true but it was and the sooner they faced it, the more good it would do.

"I'm dying," he told them softly, "there is nothing anyone can do about it. I could die at any moment. Going to see the doc as much as I did before wouldn't cure me, I've been through treatment before, you know that and in the end it wouldn't cure me."

"It could give your more time," argued his Dad.

"I'd rather live the time I've got to the best of my abilities instead of dealing with side-effects of drug therapy," he said earnestly.

"So that's it, you're just giving up?!" yelled Isabel. She had tried to be understanding, but this was just ridiculous. He was her brother, he was young and smart, he couldn't die, no t yet.

"I'm not giving up," he answered. "Giving up would be to stay in my room and be depressed. I've had this all my life, I'm past that stage. I know what's next and before that happens, I want to live and enjoy spending time with my family.
I wanted to enjoy spending time with my friends, going to school, that's why I didn't tell any of you. Living the normality of life is what I'll do until I'm not here anymore," he told them. I know you're scared and angry and sad but don't grieve for me yet I'm still here."

"But you're my baby," his mother cried. The tears he had been holding in ran down his cheeks as she pulled him into a hug. "I can't-."

He rubbed his hands across her back, soothing her cries. "It's okay Mom, it's okay."

****

****

Time, where did you go?
Why did you leave me here alone?

He lay in the bed, his eyes closed but breathing.

Not for long, she thought angrily as she opened the door and slipped inside. Once there, she found that she couldn't move from her place infront of the door. Taking a step would bring her closer and closer to the truth she wasn't quite ready to face. She thought she was but now, she wanted to turn and run and pretend that it wasn't happening.

Wait, don't go so fast
I'm missing the moments as they pass
Now I've looked in the mirror and the worlds getting clearer
So wait for me this time

"I guess I'll talk first," he said suddenly making her jump.

He had been awake. He had known she was here all this time and he hadn't said a thing! She realized that it was for the same reason she had stood frozen in the doorway for minutes on end. He was scared.

"Why didn't you tell me?" she asked in a tone of cold anger and a sense of betrayal.

I'm down I'm down on my knees I'm begging for all your sympathy
But you (I'm just an illusion) you don't seem to care (I wish that I could)

He shot her an incredulous look.

She rolled her eyes. "I know the answer is obvious, but I want to hear it."

He sat up and with their gazes locked filled every part of her body with his presence. "In our other life. I wasn't dying, so there was no need, as you probably gathered. But in this one," he hesitated. "I didn't tell you because I didn't think we'd ever get to a stage where I would have to."

"What?" she asked taking steps closer towards him.

You humble people everywhere (I don't mean to hurt you)
Now I've looked in the mirror and the worlds getting clearer
I'll take what you give me. Please know that I'm learning
So wait for me this time

He looked at her shyly and half smiled. "I've loved you since the first moment I saw you Liz, unfortunately I've also known that I could die at anytime. I made a decision long ago not to get involved with anyone let alone you. My family, my close friends, they already knew the score but I couldn't afford dragging someone else into it. No attachments".

Liz felt her fury rise. He was so infuriatingly stubborn sometimes. "That wasn't your choice to make."

"I'm the one who's dying Liz!" he retorted.

The ease at which he said the words made it seem more real, more instant and left her weak and breathless. His eyes were pools of an apology which with a small smile she accepted.

"I never asked you out because I knew that some day we'd be having this conversation and that someday you would be burying me sooner than expected. It would be selfish of me to do that to you."

She stood next to his bed, lifted her hand to his forehead and gently caressed his hair. "So this was all to spare me the pain of losing you huh?" she asked softly.

"Yes."

"So that really worked out well."

I should've know better
I shouldn't have wasted those days
And afternoons and mornings
I threw them all away

"I didn't plan on getting shot and experiencing a life with you. I didn't plan any of this."

"I don't care!". The look in his eyes blurred her vision. He was apologizing. He thought that he had robbed her of life when that was completely the opposite.

"The point is Max, I am in love with you. I love you and you're dying and I don't know what to do about that," tears ran down her cheeks but she didn't to wipe them away.
"I'm angry that you didn't tell me, I understand why you didn't but the bottom line is, I don't want to lose you. You are eighteen years old, you can't die!".

Now this is my time
I'm going to make this moment mine

Sobs overwhelmed her, she couldn't speak, all she could do was oblige as Max helped her onto the bed. She willingly and happily cried in the protection of his embrace until his rhythmic soothing heartbeat soothed her to silence.

"Do you believe in God?" he asked. He felt her smile against his chest.

"Are you trying to change the subject?" she teased.

He smiled at her attempt at humor so similar to his own.

"I didn't," he continued, "but living with the thought that you could die at any moment makes you rearrange your priorities. I went through the why-God-why-stage, the anger stage but what I've realized is that there is no answer in this world that would satisfy me to explain what's happening to me. The world is a big place and we, we have a finite mind. I look at the sunset, at a tree, at a flower and- there's a plan Liz, one I can't comprehend but it's there. And you know what puts the nail in the coffin about that?".

She looked up at him. "You joke about death way too much."

He grinned and fondly ruffled her hair. "We were given a life together, a whole lifetime together Liz, I get two lifetimes with you – there has to be a point to all of this."

(I shouldn't have wasted those days)
I'll take what you give me. Please know that I'm learning

"Well when you figure it out, can you please tell me?".

"You'll be the first to know."

She returned to her previous position curled up in his arms. They sat in silence, getting comfort in each other's presence.

"I got the heart tumour, terminal part, but not the details". She propped up on her elbow. "What is it exactly are you dying from?".

Her throat closed up as she watched his eyes darken with memories.
"I had a tumour when I was kid which interferred with the regular heart rhythm, blood wouldn't pump around," he explained. "I did the treatments and we thought we'd gotten rid of it, but then it turns out the tumour started growing in small sizes and mingled with other tissue, so they can't get to it. I could manage that, that was fine. That's not why they didn't think I would live past my tenth birthday."

"What?- I don't understand."

He wasn't dying because of a tumour?

"I used to pass out a lot when I was a kid, just suddenly out of the blue, my heart would stop. They thought it was the tumour, it did help things along, but later we found out that I've also got SADS."

"What is that?".

"Sudden Arrhythmia Death Syndrome. It's a disorder of the electrical system of the heart, it gives me abnormal heart rhythms. It's a pretty rare disease. I've had episodes most of my life and I've always known when they would happen. There's always been this feeling of...death."

Liz sat up resting on her knees. "So you could just die at anytime?".

"Awake, asleep, talking to you, anytime," he replied.

Shaking fearful and stresse out fingers brushed through her hair. She felt like screaming, like crying and he was just...fine. "How can you be so casual about it?".

He shrugged. "I've been dealing with it my whole life. The thought of sudden death just doesn't scare me anymore."

Her voice raw with emotion, Liz opened her mouth several times until the words finally came out. "I don't know what to do-I"

Max pulled her to him and wrapped his arms around her. "I know what you're going to do and before you do it, don't."

She looked up at him bleary eyed. "Don't what?"

"Don't go looking for cures or possiblities," he chided her fondly. "My family tried that, I tried that, you'll only waste the time you've got with me."

Liz knew he was right. She would do all she could, research everything she could find to keep from feeling helpless. "I have to."

"I know, I just wanted to say it out loud". They settled comfortably in each other's arms blanketed by a comforting silence.

"But don't be gone for too long, you know because I could die at anytime."

She playfully smacked his stomach. "You're such a jerk."

It felt good to feel him chuckle. It felt good to have him holding her.

"I love you," he said after a quiet moment.

(I shouldn't have wasted those days)
I'll take what you give me. Please know that I'm learning

Liz didn't look up at him, if she did, she knew her composure would disintegrate. She kissed his chest, the area where she could feel his heart pounding. "I love you too."

"How long have you got?" she asked. "Is that melodramatic or is that okay to ask-I don't know. I don't know what's right to say."

"The doc's are giving me a month at best. My heart's been taking beatings for years, they don't think it'll hold out much longer. I'm giving myself two months though."
She held onto him tightly. "That's not enough time."

I've looked in the mirror
My world's getting clearer
So wait for me this time

He kissed her hair. "It's going to have to be."


****

"This is so like A Walk to Remember," said Maria.

"Except it's my life," quipped Liz.

"Exactly!" she pounced. "I mean what if he lives more than two months? And he says two months but the doctors are giving him one. Anyhow, if he lives more than how many ever months, then you'll be married for a lot longer. Can you handle that?".

"Gladly."

****

It was a week later, after arguments with her family and his, after numerous discussions with Maria and Alex, that Liz asked Max to marry her.

She proposed on a nice Roswellian afternoon. They were sitting in the park staring at each other, tracing each other's features when she suddenly told him to get up.

"Why?" he asked.

"Just do it," she ordered.

So he did.
She got up onto her knees, searched in her bag and pulled out her Grandma Claudia's ring.

"Max Evans, will you marry me?".

"Wha-"

"You did it once, I figured it's my turn," she told him.

"Are you sure?" he asked dubiously.

"I have you only for a while in this world Max and I'm not letting you leave without having and loving all of you with all that I am," she answered.

"I love you," he smiled.

"Is that a yes?".

He knelt down to her level and kissed her, yet Liz still held her breath until she heard the answer. "Yes."

"Yes?" she asked.

"Yes..." he repeated laughing. "Although, I think this would fit you better." He took the ring and slipped it onto her finger.

She held it up to the sky and admired it and her husband to be.
"Perfect."

****

Liz's POV

I had Max for two months.

During that time, he prepared us all for his death; He left dvd messages for his friends and family, his future nieces and nephews and my future husband, but he didn't and couldn't prepare us for the feeling of loss and grief we would feel.
We had talks about how I was to live after he was gone. I hated talking about it, but we had to. He wanted me to love again, to marry and have a family.

"I had the honor to do that with you once, I don't want you deprived of it," he'd said.

"No one can replace you, you do know that?" I told him.

Then he smiled that half smile of his that made my knees go weak and my stomach flutter. "I know, but it's good to hear," he replied. "You have a lot of love to give, Liz."

"Only because of you".

****

I remember the day he died.

It happened in his sleep, he looked peaceful and serene.
A few hours before, we had been making love in our bed. He'd used his savings to rent us an apartment which we lived in after we got married. That night he'd kissed my forehead, held me in his arms and told me to live life passionately and love fiercely.

He told me that I'd given him everything that he'd ever dreamt of and more. His calm tone when he talked about death had always scared me, but that night, I was petrified. I held on tight.

"I'm dying tomorrow," he told me.

"The doctor's said you've lived this long, there's a chance that-"

He quietened me with his finger against my lips. "Liz, I'm dying tomorrow."

"I'm not ready to let you go," I cried.

"Me either, that's why we have tonight to say goodbye."

We loved each other then, slowly, softly and deeply. It was the most intense and profound experience of my life. The next morning, I awoke to find Max next to me but the calming rhythm of his heartbeat was gone.

I propped myself up on my elbow, stared at his peaceful face, called his name; shook him for a response, but none came.

I kissed his lips and whispered, "I love you".

****

The funeral.
Unlike most people who don't usually have to think about their funeral till they were old and grey, Max thought about it a lot.

Do not stand at my grave and weep;

I am not there. I do not sleep.

I am a thousand winds that blow.

I am the diamond glints on snow.

I am the sunlight on ripened grain.

I am the gentle autumn rain.

When you awaken in the morning's hush

I am the swift uplifting rush

Of quiet birds in circled flight.

I am the soft stars that shine at night.

Do not stand at my grave and cry;

I am not there. I did not die.
At his funeral, he left us a messaged recording of that poem. I can't describe what it feels like to see and hear the man I love, tell me after his physical body is gone, that he's everywhere.

I was pretty stoic about the whole thing, I mean, I knew it would be the most painful and worst day of my life – it was but, but the next day was what I was unprepared for.
It was worse than the funeral because at the funeral, I said goodbye, the next day was the start of life without Max. Without waking up next to him, hearing his voice, see his smile.
I broke then.
I didn't eat a thing for days, I didn't have the energy to get out from our bedroom. I greived for Max til it nearly killed me and then I began to live life, carrying a piece of him with me always.

****

Every year, I lay white roses on his grave stone, play the messages he left me and live life, as ordinary as it is, the way Max taught me – completely, fiercely and passionately.

I loved one man across two lifetimes and I will love him for all eternity.

Max and I, we lived our whole lives in two weeks and were blessed with two more months together. In the brief moment I had him, he showed me that we are here on earth but for a moment more and it's always about those moments, the lives we change, the people we become and the love we give.

People say it all the time, that there's always that one moment which changes your life forever. Mine was on Graduation day when Max Evens let me into his heart, and let me love him.

Typically, this would be the end of my story, of our story but this story is different. It begins with the moment that change my life – the shooting and is the first chapter into into forever.

****

AN: Well that's it guys. Hope you liked.
Here's the link to the video page: http://www.angelfire.com/un/time1
(once you're on the page, scroll down to the bottom of the page, the video is called TIME. To download it, right click and save target as).

OR

alternatively, you could right click and save target as on this link: http://www.angelfire.com/un/time1/ml_time.wmv

A big thanks to FehrsTabascoGirlie for the clips.

xx willow