11
Posted: Wed Mar 03, 2004 9:57 am
As always, thank you for the wonderful feedback. I've gotta post and run.....
Part 11
Liz closed the door to the restroom and stood in front of the mirror, willing her hands to stop shaking. What the hell was Juan talking about? What did he think he saw in Max's eyes?
She took a deep breath, and let it out slowly. She had to get herself together.
Looking into the mirror she asked the girl staring back at her, "What was wrong with you? It was an old man looking for a bit of a tip, that's all it was."
But he refused Max's money the girl in the mirror replied..
She thought the day had gone surprisingly well under the circumstances. Max had been charming and she actually had a good time.
Juan was a wonderful tour guide, and she'd enjoyed the history lesson but especially loved the old legends.
Long ago she'd had naïve girlish fantasies about love so powerful it seared the soul. But she'd long buried those fantasies out of necessity. She had learned that it was enough to merely survive. But the story of Armando and Inez, two lovers whose love was so strong it could not be denied, and the tragic circumstances that kept them apart and had led to their eventual demise had disturbed her in ways she hadn't fully comprehended yet. It brought those dreams she thought long withered and dead rushing to the surface.
"Don't do this, Liz," she whispered to herself fiercely.
She truly was ungrateful. She'd been given a second chance, a whole new start, and here she was whining over childhood fantasies.
Why? Why now?
She knew the answer. As lucky as she was that Phillip had been so wonderful to her, she didn't love him as he deserved to be loved.
How could she have possibly explained that to Juan?
"Get it together," she grated, and leaned over turning the water on.
She splashed her face with the cool water, before turning it off and reaching for a towel from the dispenser, trying to blot away the telltale flush to her cheeks that was a dead giveaway she was upset.
She gazed at her reflection, seeing her eyes wide and moist.
She must be overtired. That had to be it.
She should be counting her blessings, not wishing for things that most likely didn't really exist.
She was just drained from the emotional upheaval of the past two days.
She decided it had been enough time. Max had either taken the phone from her bag, or left it as it was.
By the end of the night she would know his intentions one way or another.
Taking a shaky breath and mentally preparing herself to face Max again, she straightened her back, and her resolve and pushed the door out.
The sun had almost set, and dusk had made the busy restaurant dim. She made her way through the crowded bar to the front and found Max standing inside the door waiting for her.
"I guess we should head back," Liz said in a strained voice.
She moved to step past him and outside, and felt his hand on her arm.
"Liz," he started to say.
She paused.
She turned halfway to find him staring at her, a strange look on his face.
"Max?" she said, her brow furrowing.
"Max," she repeated when he didn't answer.
His hand drew back as if scalded.
"Are you all right?" she asked.
"Yeah, yeah I'm fine," he said, seeming to shake himself off mentally.
"We should probably get back," she repeated.
"Huh?" he said. "Oh..."
What was wrong with him?
He handed her back her handbag.
"Why don't we have dinner here in town," he blurted, seeming to recover.
"Here, even," he said, motioning to the restaurant.
"I know for a fact that if Dad went into the office, he won't be back for dinner. You haven't eaten, you must be hungry," he offered.
"A little," Liz admitted.
"So are you up for it?" he asked.
"Yeah...sure," she said reluctantly. He'd been pretty good for most of the day, and it would be rude of her to say no after he'd spent the day with her.
"Good," he said, walking over to the reservation podium.
She gripped the strap of her bag tightly in her hand. She didn't have the heart to look at it yet.
A moment later, they were being escorted to a table in the restaurant.
Max stood behind her, pushing her chair in as she sat, before moving to the other side of the small table to seat himself.
The hostess asked if they'd like a drink from the bar, and Liz ordered a white wine. Max asked for water.
"You don't drink?" Liz asked, curious, after the hostess left.
Max shook his head.
"Alcohol doesn't agree with me," he said.
"Like father, like son," Liz commented, and Max stiffened.
"I suppose," he answered vaguely.
The hostess returned with their drinks and left them to look at the menus.
Liz's nerves were shot, and she made short work of the glass of wine.
Max was oddly quiet, seeming to be in deep concentration over his dinner choice.
Liz wasn't sure how to break the silence, and so she remained quiet.
A few minutes later, a waiter came to take their order, and Liz ordered another glass of wine, which was set in front of her almost immediately.
She took a few deep sips, and started to feel a little warm and...fuzzy.
She giggled a bit, and Max glanced at her.
"So, does the Evans' far-reaching influence carry all the way to Mesilla?" she asked.
"I'm sure it's just good service," Max said.
"Mmmhmm," Liz said, taking another sip of wine.
Max leaned back in his chair and surveyed the restaurant, apparently more interested in the décor than in talking to her.
He'd been acting strangely since she'd suggested they go home.
Well, more strange than he had acted all day, anyway.
She blinked, biting her lower lip lightly.
The warm glow of the wine that seemed to warm her blood made her feel a little daring.
"So, Max," she said, leaning forward, and he turned his attention to her.
"You never fully answered my question," she said.
His head tilted slightly, obviously trying to recall what question she was talking about.
"You know, why there's no Mrs. Max Evans on your arm. You said you weren't gay, but that you don't want female companionship," she reminded him.
"What else is there to say?" he asked. "I think that was an answer."
"No, not really," she said, resting her head on her wrist.
"I don't have the time," he answered, his tone signaling that this was the end of the conversation.
Liz ignored it.
"Oh come on," she said, "you're actually going to sit there and tell me that you can't make time for love? That's very sad."
"I have a very full life," Max said, taking a sip of his water.
"Do you? What fills your life?" she asked, persistent.
He didn't even know how lucky he was. He had security, safety, the opportunity to love and be loved without fear of that person being physically harmed, and he didn't even realize it.
He stared at her in silence.
"Is it work? Is work the only thing that fulfills you? Because it doesn't seem like you have much else in your life from what I've heard," she said.
She didn't miss the flash of pain that pierced his gaze before his eyes shrouded it.
"You don't know anything about my life," he said darkly.
"So tell me then," she said, leaning forward on her elbows. "Tell me about you Max. Tell me about what makes you happy."
"When my family is happy, then I am happy," he answered.
"You're avoiding the question again," she retorted, taking another sip of wine.
"I'm avoiding the question?" he asked in disbelief.
"You've avoided my questions all day, and I respected your wishes and dropped it when it was obvious you didn't want to talk about it. You don't even have the decency to do that," he said in annoyance.
"How about I answer that question after you tell me why you haven't spoken to your mother? Or what those things are in your past that you'd rather forget?" he hissed in a low voice.
"Or better yet, why don't you tell me why you were ru..." he broke off. Looking as if he'd almost said too much.
"Why I was what?" Liz asked, studying him.
"Forget it," Max muttered.
The waiter brought their dinners, interrupting their argument. He set another glass of wine in front of Liz.
A strained silence reigned between them as Max turned his attention to the food before him.
Liz pushed her food around with her fork. Suddenly she wasn't very hungry anymore.
She sipped at her wine watching Max who had apparently chosen to ignore her for the rest of the meal.
Such a waste, she thought to herself fuzzily.
Here in front of her sat the culmination of every woman's fantasies, in appearance, anyway.
The effect of the wine on her senses was making her honest with herself. When he wasn't talking, the man sitting in front of her was really a sight to behold. He was sinfully handsome, filled out in all the right places, yet not overly so.
His skin was flawless, and his eyes had the capability of being so expressive, when he allowed them to be. His angled jaw lent a strength to his otherwise boyish face, tempered by the softness of his lips.
There was something about him that unnerved her, made her say things she'd never normally say. She wanted to know what caused that wary look in his eyes. She wanted to know why he'd closed himself off to all but the closest members of his family.
She asked him questions she didn't dare ask herself. There was something of her she saw in him, but they were in two very different situations.
"I've been away from my mother a long time," she said quietly, and he looked up at her.
"Things happened...things that kept us apart, and now...it's not the same. It will never be the same," she said.
"I love my mother very much, and if I could go back and change anything that happened, I would do it in a heartbeat. But I can't, so the only thing I can do is move on, and try to get through each day as best as I can. We all have regrets, and believe me, I have my share," she finished quietly.
Stunned that she'd blurted that out, she lowered her eyes and played with her napkin. She started to think she'd made a mistake in saying that, telling him things about herself that she shouldn't. Revealing little pieces of herself.
Her eyes raised to meet his, and for a moment, the softness of his gaze made her heart quicken and then he spoke.
"There is too much at stake with my family for me to be involved with anyone. People have...there are people out there who would like to destroy my family. People who would love nothing more than to ruin everything my father worked so hard for. I made a promise to myself a long time ago that when the time came, I would protect them. It's enough for me to handle that. I can't bring anyone else into it. It wouldn't be fair to them."
He leaned towards Liz, his eyes burning into hers as he continued.
"If you marry someone you must be willing to put their safety above everything else. Their happiness has to be your number one priority."
As if realizing that he had shown too much of himself Max relaxed back in his seat and waved his hand in a dismissive gesture.
"Anyway, I don't have the time to devote to a relationship, or to emotional attachments," he said.
Liz felt a pang of sorrow pierce her heart at his words.
"Max, that's really admirable that you feel you need to do that, but what about you? She asked.
"I take it day by day, just like you do," he answered.
She had no reply to that, his eyes on hers, and she nodded.
"I think I understand," she said, and he looked away.
"You should eat something," he said.
"I'm really not that hungry after all," Liz answered, "I don't feel very well. I shouldn't have had that wine."
"Then we should go," he said, drawing his napkin from his lap and putting it on the table.
"No," Liz protested, "please, finish your dinner."
Max shook his head.
"I'm really not as hungry as I thought I was either. I'll get the check," he said, standing.
He signaled to the waiter, and drew out his wallet, handing him a large bill.
"We have to be on our way. This should cover our dinner," Max said.
The waiter glanced at the bill and responded.
"This will more then cover it. Would you like me to get you change?"
"No, no. That will be fine. You keep it," Max responded as he waved the waiter away.
The waiter turned to help Liz with her chair and saw the dinner plates still full.
"I hope there was nothing wrong with your meal, Sir," the waiter said, concerned.
"No, everything was perfect. The lady isn't feeling well," Max said, looking at Liz.
"Have a good evening," the waiter answered, while giving Liz a sympathetic look.
Liz stood felt the world sway a bit. She'd definitely had too much wine.
"Are you all right?" Max asked, his hand moving to steady her, and then dropping quickly to his side.
"Fine," Liz mumbled. "I just had a little too much to drink on an empty stomach. I'll be fine."
Max led the way out of the restaurant to the darkened Main Street.
Both were quiet on the walk to the car, each lost in their own thoughts.
Max unlocked the passenger door and held it open for her as she got in. As she settled into the leather seat, and fastened her seatbelt, she felt wearier than she had in a long time.
Max got into the car, and started the engine, turning to look behind him as he backed the car out of the parking stall.
Liz took the opportunity to look at him again with wine-tinted vision. Yes, in another lifetime, Max would have definitely caught her eye.
Embarrassed at the thought, she closed her eyes, willing her mind to go blank. She was marrying his father! She decided that it would be best if she didn't drink anything remotely alcoholic for a long, long time.
The quiet hum of the engine evened out as he pulled back on to the highway.
She thought it best to feign sleep rather than engage in another conversation, and kept her eyes closed.
The next thing she was aware of was the sound of shifting leather.
She opened her eyes to find herself looking into the most beautiful pair of eyes...
Max.
"I'm sorry," she said, sitting up straight quickly.
"You fell asleep. We're back," he said, sitting back.
She nodded, and unhooked her safety belt.
The house was well lit, and they walked the short distance to the front door, Max opening it and stepping back to let her in first.
She still felt out of sorts, and paused at the staircase, turning toward him.
"Thank you for today," she said. "I...had a nice time."
He nodded, and she slowly made her way up the stairs.
She stopped at the door to Phillip's room, letting herself in.
It was dark.
Max was right, Phillip wasn't home yet. It was probably just as well, because she really wasn't up to talking. She walked straight through to her quarters and kicked off her shoes, climbing on to the bed.
Max was a paradox. Just when she thought she had him pegged, she saw another side of him that made her question everything she thought she knew.
It was unnerving.
She closed her eyes for a moment, feeling as if the room was spinning.
What had she been thinking earlier? At this moment, she was to regard Max as an enemy. But somehow she couldn't resign herself to that thought. When he'd made his confession at dinner, she saw in his eyes the love he had for his family, so much love that he was willing to give up his own happiness for theirs. How could she fault him for that when she was doing the same thing?
Maybe that was the key, the one thing they had in common. Maybe it wasn't too late to convince him that they were kindred spirits, for different reasons.
Maybe there was still a chance he'd come around.
Her eyes snapped open, and she felt for her bag, fumbling for the pouch on the side and digging the phone out to examine it.
She closed her eyes and sighed.
Or maybe not.
*****
Max lay wide-awake, his mind working furiously to process the day's events.
He'd watched her go up the stairs, his emotions in turmoil. He'd discovered more than he'd bargained for, and it only left him with more questions.
When he'd heard her door click shut, he'd ascended the stairs to his room.
Now he lay in the dark, trying to make sense of what he'd seen and heard.
What other choice did he have? He had to live on the fringe. I'm not saying that what he did was right. I'm saying I understand it. Sometimes people have to do things that aren't pretty in order to survive. Sometimes they don't have a choice.
She'd been too adamant about her perception of Billy the Kid. He was certain now that she was hiding something. What he wasn't certain of were the circumstances. Maybe all he thought he knew was wrong.
I love my mother very much, and if I could go back and change anything that happened myself, I would do it in a heartbeat. But I can't, so the only thing I can do is move on, and try to get through each day as best as I can. We all have regrets, and believe me, I have my share...
All day she had been dropping hints about the girl that hid behind the carefully maintained façade. But were they really glimpses of the real Liz or was she that good? Was she that good at deceiving people? Was she that good at deceiving me?
Max rubbed his face with his hands as his mind kept racing around. The things she'd said to him today caused him to direct questions toward himself that he hadn't wanted to deal with.
Max, that's really admirable that you feel you need to do that, but what about you?
When she'd gone into the restaurant, something had been wrong. He didn't know if it was something Juan had said, but he could sense it.
But he had a job to do. Immediately, he'd taken the phone out of her bag, and replaced it with one that looked just like it. A moment later, she'd emerged from the ladies room.
She was distant when she'd come out, and he grabbed her arm without thinking.
*flash*
She was running through trees, and she was scared and furious at the same time. It was difficult to see the landscape. It was too dark. But she could hear the tramp of heavy boots behind her.
No, she thought to herself, furious. Not again.
Her random thoughts had passed through his head, almost incoherent in their speed.
Drugs.
She was standing over a body, and she couldn't catch her breath. She'd killed this man. His skull was crushed. Her eyes traveled to a figure huddled in the corner, features obscured by shadows.
Female.
Rocking.
"I'm sorry," the woman whispered.
"This has to stop," Liz said in a trembling voice. "We can't live like this forever. We can't keep running like this."
"I'm sorry," the voice said again.
*flash*
The footsteps were gaining on her, pounding, menacing.
A hand clamped around her arm with an iron grip, halting her.
She immediately swung around, trying to scratch at the eyes of her assailant with a shriek of rage.
"I'm going to fucking rip your head off, you little bitch!" a male voice snarled.
"It was you this time. They suspected your mother, but she's too far gone. It was you..." he snarled, backhanding her across the cheek, knocking her to the ground.
For a moment, all she saw were bright pinpoints of light in front of her eyes. Then her vision cleared and she made out the dark shadow of his head leaning above her.
"You killed my brother, you miserable little shit!" he panted. "I'm going to take you apart piece by piece. You don't know what pain is."
She was yanked roughly off the ground, and felt vomit rise in her throat as her shoulder was ripped from of its socket.
She cried out and retched, praying that whatever he meant to do that it would be quick.
She saw the gleam of a serrated knife, and she felt her legs give out from under her.
She was yanked up by her hair.
She felt like she was going to lose consciousness.
All of her weight hung by her hair, being held mercilessly by her captor.
"I'm going to cut you," he seethed, his breath hot on her neck. "I'm going to cut you until you scream for mercy."
A moment later, she felt the white-hot heat of the knife slicing through the tender skin at the back of her neck.
"Carlo!" a voice shouted, and her captor froze.
"Don't do it. You know how important she is to him. You can make her pay in other ways. She's too important to the business. I know you're upset about Frank, but don't do something stupid that you'll regret later," the unseen voice said.
She felt him panting at her neck. She could practically smell the battle raging in his head.
In the next instant, she was shoved roughly to the ground, and a steel-toed boot was driven into her gut.
Max could feel her cheek against the dirt as if it were his own, and his vision grew blurry as hers did, before fading to black...
Max sat up and put his head in his hands at the memory. This was much, much worse than he had originally imagined.
Even now, his stomach turned at what he'd seen and experienced through her eyes in the flash.
These were ruthless killers, not small-time crooks.
How had she survived that? It must have been unbearable.
He wasn't sure if her mother had gotten her involved in the mess she'd been in, or if she involved herself.
Why hadn't his father seen any of this?
One thing his gut told him was that all wasn't what it had appeared to be, and the words she'd spoken earlier had taken on a whole new meaning.
When she'd started to question him at dinner, he'd still been so disturbed by what he'd seen, he'd almost slipped about the flash and seeing her memory of running away from that monster in the woods.
He'd been too careless.
But he also couldn't stop thinking about it. She'd fallen asleep on the drive home, and his eyes were drawn to her face more often than he would have liked to admit. She looked so at peace by the dashboard lights. The hardness and fear gone.
He'd seen a whole other side to her tonight, and he was having a hard time trying to deal with it.
For a crazy moment, he'd debated putting the phone back into her purse when he'd pulled up in front of the house, with an irrational sense of protectiveness flooding through his heart.
He'd almost done it too, but as he reached over, he stilled, looking at her face, so peaceful, so innocent despite the horrors he'd seen.
Then she'd woken up, and the opportunity had passed.
He rubbed his face in frustration.
He couldn't get involved. Whoever those people were, they were now a threat to his family, because she was in their home.
Picking up his phone, he dialed a long-familiar number.
"I have the phone," he said in a clipped tone. "Come and pick it up."
TBC...
Part 11
Liz closed the door to the restroom and stood in front of the mirror, willing her hands to stop shaking. What the hell was Juan talking about? What did he think he saw in Max's eyes?
She took a deep breath, and let it out slowly. She had to get herself together.
Looking into the mirror she asked the girl staring back at her, "What was wrong with you? It was an old man looking for a bit of a tip, that's all it was."
But he refused Max's money the girl in the mirror replied..
She thought the day had gone surprisingly well under the circumstances. Max had been charming and she actually had a good time.
Juan was a wonderful tour guide, and she'd enjoyed the history lesson but especially loved the old legends.
Long ago she'd had naïve girlish fantasies about love so powerful it seared the soul. But she'd long buried those fantasies out of necessity. She had learned that it was enough to merely survive. But the story of Armando and Inez, two lovers whose love was so strong it could not be denied, and the tragic circumstances that kept them apart and had led to their eventual demise had disturbed her in ways she hadn't fully comprehended yet. It brought those dreams she thought long withered and dead rushing to the surface.
"Don't do this, Liz," she whispered to herself fiercely.
She truly was ungrateful. She'd been given a second chance, a whole new start, and here she was whining over childhood fantasies.
Why? Why now?
She knew the answer. As lucky as she was that Phillip had been so wonderful to her, she didn't love him as he deserved to be loved.
How could she have possibly explained that to Juan?
"Get it together," she grated, and leaned over turning the water on.
She splashed her face with the cool water, before turning it off and reaching for a towel from the dispenser, trying to blot away the telltale flush to her cheeks that was a dead giveaway she was upset.
She gazed at her reflection, seeing her eyes wide and moist.
She must be overtired. That had to be it.
She should be counting her blessings, not wishing for things that most likely didn't really exist.
She was just drained from the emotional upheaval of the past two days.
She decided it had been enough time. Max had either taken the phone from her bag, or left it as it was.
By the end of the night she would know his intentions one way or another.
Taking a shaky breath and mentally preparing herself to face Max again, she straightened her back, and her resolve and pushed the door out.
The sun had almost set, and dusk had made the busy restaurant dim. She made her way through the crowded bar to the front and found Max standing inside the door waiting for her.
"I guess we should head back," Liz said in a strained voice.
She moved to step past him and outside, and felt his hand on her arm.
"Liz," he started to say.
She paused.
She turned halfway to find him staring at her, a strange look on his face.
"Max?" she said, her brow furrowing.
"Max," she repeated when he didn't answer.
His hand drew back as if scalded.
"Are you all right?" she asked.
"Yeah, yeah I'm fine," he said, seeming to shake himself off mentally.
"We should probably get back," she repeated.
"Huh?" he said. "Oh..."
What was wrong with him?
He handed her back her handbag.
"Why don't we have dinner here in town," he blurted, seeming to recover.
"Here, even," he said, motioning to the restaurant.
"I know for a fact that if Dad went into the office, he won't be back for dinner. You haven't eaten, you must be hungry," he offered.
"A little," Liz admitted.
"So are you up for it?" he asked.
"Yeah...sure," she said reluctantly. He'd been pretty good for most of the day, and it would be rude of her to say no after he'd spent the day with her.
"Good," he said, walking over to the reservation podium.
She gripped the strap of her bag tightly in her hand. She didn't have the heart to look at it yet.
A moment later, they were being escorted to a table in the restaurant.
Max stood behind her, pushing her chair in as she sat, before moving to the other side of the small table to seat himself.
The hostess asked if they'd like a drink from the bar, and Liz ordered a white wine. Max asked for water.
"You don't drink?" Liz asked, curious, after the hostess left.
Max shook his head.
"Alcohol doesn't agree with me," he said.
"Like father, like son," Liz commented, and Max stiffened.
"I suppose," he answered vaguely.
The hostess returned with their drinks and left them to look at the menus.
Liz's nerves were shot, and she made short work of the glass of wine.
Max was oddly quiet, seeming to be in deep concentration over his dinner choice.
Liz wasn't sure how to break the silence, and so she remained quiet.
A few minutes later, a waiter came to take their order, and Liz ordered another glass of wine, which was set in front of her almost immediately.
She took a few deep sips, and started to feel a little warm and...fuzzy.
She giggled a bit, and Max glanced at her.
"So, does the Evans' far-reaching influence carry all the way to Mesilla?" she asked.
"I'm sure it's just good service," Max said.
"Mmmhmm," Liz said, taking another sip of wine.
Max leaned back in his chair and surveyed the restaurant, apparently more interested in the décor than in talking to her.
He'd been acting strangely since she'd suggested they go home.
Well, more strange than he had acted all day, anyway.
She blinked, biting her lower lip lightly.
The warm glow of the wine that seemed to warm her blood made her feel a little daring.
"So, Max," she said, leaning forward, and he turned his attention to her.
"You never fully answered my question," she said.
His head tilted slightly, obviously trying to recall what question she was talking about.
"You know, why there's no Mrs. Max Evans on your arm. You said you weren't gay, but that you don't want female companionship," she reminded him.
"What else is there to say?" he asked. "I think that was an answer."
"No, not really," she said, resting her head on her wrist.
"I don't have the time," he answered, his tone signaling that this was the end of the conversation.
Liz ignored it.
"Oh come on," she said, "you're actually going to sit there and tell me that you can't make time for love? That's very sad."
"I have a very full life," Max said, taking a sip of his water.
"Do you? What fills your life?" she asked, persistent.
He didn't even know how lucky he was. He had security, safety, the opportunity to love and be loved without fear of that person being physically harmed, and he didn't even realize it.
He stared at her in silence.
"Is it work? Is work the only thing that fulfills you? Because it doesn't seem like you have much else in your life from what I've heard," she said.
She didn't miss the flash of pain that pierced his gaze before his eyes shrouded it.
"You don't know anything about my life," he said darkly.
"So tell me then," she said, leaning forward on her elbows. "Tell me about you Max. Tell me about what makes you happy."
"When my family is happy, then I am happy," he answered.
"You're avoiding the question again," she retorted, taking another sip of wine.
"I'm avoiding the question?" he asked in disbelief.
"You've avoided my questions all day, and I respected your wishes and dropped it when it was obvious you didn't want to talk about it. You don't even have the decency to do that," he said in annoyance.
"How about I answer that question after you tell me why you haven't spoken to your mother? Or what those things are in your past that you'd rather forget?" he hissed in a low voice.
"Or better yet, why don't you tell me why you were ru..." he broke off. Looking as if he'd almost said too much.
"Why I was what?" Liz asked, studying him.
"Forget it," Max muttered.
The waiter brought their dinners, interrupting their argument. He set another glass of wine in front of Liz.
A strained silence reigned between them as Max turned his attention to the food before him.
Liz pushed her food around with her fork. Suddenly she wasn't very hungry anymore.
She sipped at her wine watching Max who had apparently chosen to ignore her for the rest of the meal.
Such a waste, she thought to herself fuzzily.
Here in front of her sat the culmination of every woman's fantasies, in appearance, anyway.
The effect of the wine on her senses was making her honest with herself. When he wasn't talking, the man sitting in front of her was really a sight to behold. He was sinfully handsome, filled out in all the right places, yet not overly so.
His skin was flawless, and his eyes had the capability of being so expressive, when he allowed them to be. His angled jaw lent a strength to his otherwise boyish face, tempered by the softness of his lips.
There was something about him that unnerved her, made her say things she'd never normally say. She wanted to know what caused that wary look in his eyes. She wanted to know why he'd closed himself off to all but the closest members of his family.
She asked him questions she didn't dare ask herself. There was something of her she saw in him, but they were in two very different situations.
"I've been away from my mother a long time," she said quietly, and he looked up at her.
"Things happened...things that kept us apart, and now...it's not the same. It will never be the same," she said.
"I love my mother very much, and if I could go back and change anything that happened, I would do it in a heartbeat. But I can't, so the only thing I can do is move on, and try to get through each day as best as I can. We all have regrets, and believe me, I have my share," she finished quietly.
Stunned that she'd blurted that out, she lowered her eyes and played with her napkin. She started to think she'd made a mistake in saying that, telling him things about herself that she shouldn't. Revealing little pieces of herself.
Her eyes raised to meet his, and for a moment, the softness of his gaze made her heart quicken and then he spoke.
"There is too much at stake with my family for me to be involved with anyone. People have...there are people out there who would like to destroy my family. People who would love nothing more than to ruin everything my father worked so hard for. I made a promise to myself a long time ago that when the time came, I would protect them. It's enough for me to handle that. I can't bring anyone else into it. It wouldn't be fair to them."
He leaned towards Liz, his eyes burning into hers as he continued.
"If you marry someone you must be willing to put their safety above everything else. Their happiness has to be your number one priority."
As if realizing that he had shown too much of himself Max relaxed back in his seat and waved his hand in a dismissive gesture.
"Anyway, I don't have the time to devote to a relationship, or to emotional attachments," he said.
Liz felt a pang of sorrow pierce her heart at his words.
"Max, that's really admirable that you feel you need to do that, but what about you? She asked.
"I take it day by day, just like you do," he answered.
She had no reply to that, his eyes on hers, and she nodded.
"I think I understand," she said, and he looked away.
"You should eat something," he said.
"I'm really not that hungry after all," Liz answered, "I don't feel very well. I shouldn't have had that wine."
"Then we should go," he said, drawing his napkin from his lap and putting it on the table.
"No," Liz protested, "please, finish your dinner."
Max shook his head.
"I'm really not as hungry as I thought I was either. I'll get the check," he said, standing.
He signaled to the waiter, and drew out his wallet, handing him a large bill.
"We have to be on our way. This should cover our dinner," Max said.
The waiter glanced at the bill and responded.
"This will more then cover it. Would you like me to get you change?"
"No, no. That will be fine. You keep it," Max responded as he waved the waiter away.
The waiter turned to help Liz with her chair and saw the dinner plates still full.
"I hope there was nothing wrong with your meal, Sir," the waiter said, concerned.
"No, everything was perfect. The lady isn't feeling well," Max said, looking at Liz.
"Have a good evening," the waiter answered, while giving Liz a sympathetic look.
Liz stood felt the world sway a bit. She'd definitely had too much wine.
"Are you all right?" Max asked, his hand moving to steady her, and then dropping quickly to his side.
"Fine," Liz mumbled. "I just had a little too much to drink on an empty stomach. I'll be fine."
Max led the way out of the restaurant to the darkened Main Street.
Both were quiet on the walk to the car, each lost in their own thoughts.
Max unlocked the passenger door and held it open for her as she got in. As she settled into the leather seat, and fastened her seatbelt, she felt wearier than she had in a long time.
Max got into the car, and started the engine, turning to look behind him as he backed the car out of the parking stall.
Liz took the opportunity to look at him again with wine-tinted vision. Yes, in another lifetime, Max would have definitely caught her eye.
Embarrassed at the thought, she closed her eyes, willing her mind to go blank. She was marrying his father! She decided that it would be best if she didn't drink anything remotely alcoholic for a long, long time.
The quiet hum of the engine evened out as he pulled back on to the highway.
She thought it best to feign sleep rather than engage in another conversation, and kept her eyes closed.
The next thing she was aware of was the sound of shifting leather.
She opened her eyes to find herself looking into the most beautiful pair of eyes...
Max.
"I'm sorry," she said, sitting up straight quickly.
"You fell asleep. We're back," he said, sitting back.
She nodded, and unhooked her safety belt.
The house was well lit, and they walked the short distance to the front door, Max opening it and stepping back to let her in first.
She still felt out of sorts, and paused at the staircase, turning toward him.
"Thank you for today," she said. "I...had a nice time."
He nodded, and she slowly made her way up the stairs.
She stopped at the door to Phillip's room, letting herself in.
It was dark.
Max was right, Phillip wasn't home yet. It was probably just as well, because she really wasn't up to talking. She walked straight through to her quarters and kicked off her shoes, climbing on to the bed.
Max was a paradox. Just when she thought she had him pegged, she saw another side of him that made her question everything she thought she knew.
It was unnerving.
She closed her eyes for a moment, feeling as if the room was spinning.
What had she been thinking earlier? At this moment, she was to regard Max as an enemy. But somehow she couldn't resign herself to that thought. When he'd made his confession at dinner, she saw in his eyes the love he had for his family, so much love that he was willing to give up his own happiness for theirs. How could she fault him for that when she was doing the same thing?
Maybe that was the key, the one thing they had in common. Maybe it wasn't too late to convince him that they were kindred spirits, for different reasons.
Maybe there was still a chance he'd come around.
Her eyes snapped open, and she felt for her bag, fumbling for the pouch on the side and digging the phone out to examine it.
She closed her eyes and sighed.
Or maybe not.
*****
Max lay wide-awake, his mind working furiously to process the day's events.
He'd watched her go up the stairs, his emotions in turmoil. He'd discovered more than he'd bargained for, and it only left him with more questions.
When he'd heard her door click shut, he'd ascended the stairs to his room.
Now he lay in the dark, trying to make sense of what he'd seen and heard.
What other choice did he have? He had to live on the fringe. I'm not saying that what he did was right. I'm saying I understand it. Sometimes people have to do things that aren't pretty in order to survive. Sometimes they don't have a choice.
She'd been too adamant about her perception of Billy the Kid. He was certain now that she was hiding something. What he wasn't certain of were the circumstances. Maybe all he thought he knew was wrong.
I love my mother very much, and if I could go back and change anything that happened myself, I would do it in a heartbeat. But I can't, so the only thing I can do is move on, and try to get through each day as best as I can. We all have regrets, and believe me, I have my share...
All day she had been dropping hints about the girl that hid behind the carefully maintained façade. But were they really glimpses of the real Liz or was she that good? Was she that good at deceiving people? Was she that good at deceiving me?
Max rubbed his face with his hands as his mind kept racing around. The things she'd said to him today caused him to direct questions toward himself that he hadn't wanted to deal with.
Max, that's really admirable that you feel you need to do that, but what about you?
When she'd gone into the restaurant, something had been wrong. He didn't know if it was something Juan had said, but he could sense it.
But he had a job to do. Immediately, he'd taken the phone out of her bag, and replaced it with one that looked just like it. A moment later, she'd emerged from the ladies room.
She was distant when she'd come out, and he grabbed her arm without thinking.
*flash*
She was running through trees, and she was scared and furious at the same time. It was difficult to see the landscape. It was too dark. But she could hear the tramp of heavy boots behind her.
No, she thought to herself, furious. Not again.
Her random thoughts had passed through his head, almost incoherent in their speed.
Drugs.
She was standing over a body, and she couldn't catch her breath. She'd killed this man. His skull was crushed. Her eyes traveled to a figure huddled in the corner, features obscured by shadows.
Female.
Rocking.
"I'm sorry," the woman whispered.
"This has to stop," Liz said in a trembling voice. "We can't live like this forever. We can't keep running like this."
"I'm sorry," the voice said again.
*flash*
The footsteps were gaining on her, pounding, menacing.
A hand clamped around her arm with an iron grip, halting her.
She immediately swung around, trying to scratch at the eyes of her assailant with a shriek of rage.
"I'm going to fucking rip your head off, you little bitch!" a male voice snarled.
"It was you this time. They suspected your mother, but she's too far gone. It was you..." he snarled, backhanding her across the cheek, knocking her to the ground.
For a moment, all she saw were bright pinpoints of light in front of her eyes. Then her vision cleared and she made out the dark shadow of his head leaning above her.
"You killed my brother, you miserable little shit!" he panted. "I'm going to take you apart piece by piece. You don't know what pain is."
She was yanked roughly off the ground, and felt vomit rise in her throat as her shoulder was ripped from of its socket.
She cried out and retched, praying that whatever he meant to do that it would be quick.
She saw the gleam of a serrated knife, and she felt her legs give out from under her.
She was yanked up by her hair.
She felt like she was going to lose consciousness.
All of her weight hung by her hair, being held mercilessly by her captor.
"I'm going to cut you," he seethed, his breath hot on her neck. "I'm going to cut you until you scream for mercy."
A moment later, she felt the white-hot heat of the knife slicing through the tender skin at the back of her neck.
"Carlo!" a voice shouted, and her captor froze.
"Don't do it. You know how important she is to him. You can make her pay in other ways. She's too important to the business. I know you're upset about Frank, but don't do something stupid that you'll regret later," the unseen voice said.
She felt him panting at her neck. She could practically smell the battle raging in his head.
In the next instant, she was shoved roughly to the ground, and a steel-toed boot was driven into her gut.
Max could feel her cheek against the dirt as if it were his own, and his vision grew blurry as hers did, before fading to black...
Max sat up and put his head in his hands at the memory. This was much, much worse than he had originally imagined.
Even now, his stomach turned at what he'd seen and experienced through her eyes in the flash.
These were ruthless killers, not small-time crooks.
How had she survived that? It must have been unbearable.
He wasn't sure if her mother had gotten her involved in the mess she'd been in, or if she involved herself.
Why hadn't his father seen any of this?
One thing his gut told him was that all wasn't what it had appeared to be, and the words she'd spoken earlier had taken on a whole new meaning.
When she'd started to question him at dinner, he'd still been so disturbed by what he'd seen, he'd almost slipped about the flash and seeing her memory of running away from that monster in the woods.
He'd been too careless.
But he also couldn't stop thinking about it. She'd fallen asleep on the drive home, and his eyes were drawn to her face more often than he would have liked to admit. She looked so at peace by the dashboard lights. The hardness and fear gone.
He'd seen a whole other side to her tonight, and he was having a hard time trying to deal with it.
For a crazy moment, he'd debated putting the phone back into her purse when he'd pulled up in front of the house, with an irrational sense of protectiveness flooding through his heart.
He'd almost done it too, but as he reached over, he stilled, looking at her face, so peaceful, so innocent despite the horrors he'd seen.
Then she'd woken up, and the opportunity had passed.
He rubbed his face in frustration.
He couldn't get involved. Whoever those people were, they were now a threat to his family, because she was in their home.
Picking up his phone, he dialed a long-familiar number.
"I have the phone," he said in a clipped tone. "Come and pick it up."
TBC...